This video was great, and emotional to watch! It's so great how honest you can be on camera to thousands of people.
That day out was the greatest day I've had in months. Had such an awesome time. Although I cringed so hard at our American accents that I had to pause the video haha! xxx
This was so gorgeous. Really nicely executed and touching through and through. One of the times we want to really genuinely thank you for sharing this with us.
oh fuck i am in tears Dodie you are so intelligent and have the best way with words and you do not give yourself enough credit whatsoever. i would buy a million tickets to ride your bus
As many people have already said, that metaphor hit me hard. Today has just been utter crap, and so has the past few weeks/months/years honestly I've lost track of how long it's been but I've fallen into what I feel may be depression but I don't feel worthy of that title, as if I'm just overreacting and that 'I'm fine' (as I keep telling everyone). I don't think my bus has ever felt so empty, it just feel like I'm existing for the sake of existing and I find myself not wanting to commit suicide, because I'm too much of a coward, but hoping someone can just turn my existence off or let me skip this section of my life to the part where I can wake up on a Sunday in my own house with someone that I love and just be happy, but a big part of me feels that even if I did skip ahead, my life will never be as I hope it to be and that I will just be on this crappy bus ride alone for the rest of my life, driving past all these people on their buses who are happy and colourful and loved.
+Cwiddy1812 If you feel sad constantly but convince yourself that you're making something out of nothing, that is a problem. I know that you said that you think depression is a title you deem yourself unworthy of claiming, but just know that it is something that any of us can have, and you do not need outward justification. I'm not saying one should diagnose, but if you think you have depression, you're not thinking that for no good reason. If you need somebody to talk to, you may contact me if you want. I hope things lighten up for you in due time.
This sounds so stupid but one day your gonna look back on this and think about how much you learned because of this experience. I know you really want to skip to the good parts of life, but atleast when things get bad again you'll have more experience to get through it. And you're not alone in that bus, lots of us are there right now. Together, we can grow and make it off the bus. Although this bus ride is terrible, know that it will, eventually end. Love ya ❤️
extremely important tips 1)force yourself to go out of the house to be around as many good people as you can all the time. do it right now. text someone and make plans for tomorrow, to do something or just talk
2)also talk to the person you feel most comfortable talking to about how you feel.
Update: well it's been over a year now and I can't say that I feel any better, if anything I feel worse. For the past year and a bit, I've missed a dangerous amount of school and I'm not falling behind academically but I'll be in a lot of trouble if this carries on and there's a chance of me getting kicked out. I've never been a morning person, even when I was younger I would struggle with getting up but now it feels so much different. I've managed to distance myself from my 'friends' whilst also being isolated and pushed out of the group. Usually your friends are the good part of school but now I find it so hard to find any sort of motivation to go. I've had a blood test and there's isn't anything out of the ordinary physically, so it must be my brain. The other week I went to the doctor because my mum wanted me to talk to her. I was so nervous and my hands and legs were shaking and wobbly beforehand, I thought it would finally be the day that I would get some thing that would help. My only problem was that I couldn't even mention depression- I just sat there and cried. In the end she told me that it was probably 'confidence issues' and that she had 'seen people with bigger problems' which obviously didn't help me whatsoever. I think in the past year or so I've managed to get myself into such a bad brain place and I have a feeling that I might have a bit of social anxiety too because that would explain some of the days where I can't bear the thought of school because when I'm there I feel like everyone is constantly judging me and I hate it. I don't like days where I have food tech because I feel like I'm going to mess it up, I don't like doing tests because I feel like I know nothing and then I panic, I hate having to get into groups or if we don't have a seating plan because I feel like such an inconvenience and that no one wants to be with me. It was my birthday in December but I didn't do anything to celebrate because I didn't think that my 'friends' would want to come and I thought it would be awkward because I hate having any sort of attention and I felt like people would have joked about how bad it would have been and I doubted if they would even show up, so I didn't do anything. And yes I know that there's group chats that I'm not part of and yes I know that they meet up without me and yes it feels horrible when I know that for everyone else's birthday, we all paid £10 each to get them a decent present and my birthday was ignored and yes I know I sound stupid. In two weeks I get to see Dodie on tour and I just hope that I get to say thank you to her for making me aware of my mental health and how it's a bit shit, but that I'm not the only one. I hope my bus gets better soon.
+Cwiddy1812 I've dealt with social anxiety and depression for seven years now and spend five of them not talking to anyone about the way I feel and keeping it all to myself. The best advise I can give you is to NOT do that. It really isolated me from everyone, especially the people I care about most and I've lost friends and missed out on so much because of my mental health problems. Looking back, I wish I had gone to therapy or just talked to someone about it much sooner because I would not have isolated myself so much and gone through everything alone. Please talk to someone you trust about all of this or look for another doctor/therapist that will take your issues seriously and not just dismiss them because "other people have it worse". Just because some people might suffer more does not mean your suffering is not valid or that you're not worth being listened to or helped, because you are! Simply discussing what's going on in your brain and receiving advise on how to deal with certain situations can really make a difference. I wish you the best of luck! :)
Cwiddy1812 hello! i'm thankful to see you have updated, even though you're not feeling well still. i'm so sorry you're in a rough place, but it seems as though you want to be happy and have a colorful bus, which is awesome! although your mental state was written off as "confidence issues", what you're feeling is a problem. just because people are experiencing difficult situations as well, it does not mean that you don't deserve to receive help and learn to cope with all this. you know, the great thing about life is that someone can hop onto our bus at any given moment and show us things we never thought possible. i'm sure there are tons of people waiting to join you for the ride. so please talk to someone and tell them straight up how you feel and that you want so much more than emptiness and anxiety. don't give up on that bus full of color and love and excitement, okay? life is meant to feel that way. i feel so strongly that you're gonna get to a great place soon. if you need to talk, i'm here for you!
This is exactly how I feel. I have thoughts of wanting to die/stop existing all the time but of course I'm not actually gonna do anything because I know I'm loved and I would feel guilty making my family & friends hurt that way. I have feelings of worthlessness and I feel like I'll never amount to anything, like my life isn't worth it. And I know of course that there are people out there who have it way worse, who would kill to be in my shoes but I'm such a weak person and I'm being crushed under all the stress of school and my home life. I'm at the point where I would rather die than have to go to school. I also find myself feeling waves of numbness and sometimes I don't even have the will to do anything besides lay down and scroll through my phone to distract myself and it scares me. I just feel that as I approach college and the "real world" I'll never be able to handle it because of the stress and life will never truly be enjoyable. I feel bad because sometimes I get so irritated when I see my friends talking or they try to talk to me and it's not even their fault, they did nothing wrong but then I sometimes also get so lonely it hurts and I don't have anyone to hold me or just tell me it's gonna be alright because I don't want to worry my friends/family if I tell them how I feel. Basically I just feel like a big baby who gets overwhelmed by everything while all the people I know are strong enough to hide it and fake being okay. My immediate family does have mental health issues but I don't want to diagnose myself. I'm gonna try to look for a professional and I hope it doesn't take too long. Sorry for ranting I just needed somewhere to get this down without telling someone I actually know.
Dodie I just want to say that you have impacted my life so much. I started my channel because of you. You are one of the only you tubers who is honest instead of pretending to be cheerful and perfect all the time. I know that telling you to cheer up won't make you any happier, but I just wanted to tell you that you have one hundred thousand people supporting you on this channel and even more on your main. So if you ever just feel like crap and want to vent, we won't judge you. Honestly this video made me tear up so much. It reminded me of when I first found your channel an watched your videos under the covers all night when I was supposed to be sleeping because I wanted to memorize the lyrics. I was in love. But that was when you were Doddleoddle. This is when you are Dodie clark, and I love you even more. Dodie is real. Dodie is a person who pulls you out of the dark to remind you that there are people out there like you. And for a brief moment, you are there. There is no border between you and the screen. Don't feel bad about being yourself. Don't feel like talking to us when you are sad makes us go away. Because other people make us pause, make us forget about our problems, and you help us connect. You help us realize that there are other people like us, who feel the same way, who think the same things. What you are putting out is more than just silly little song videos or funny blogs, It's comfort.
This was the most honest and accurate video regarding depression and what those lesser moment are like that I have ever seen. Everything you said struck a chord in me, all of it was recognisable - the emptiness, the lack of feeling, the frustration at that lack of feeling. I'm glad you're starting to feel things again - there's nothing better than realising you can feel the things that others around you have felt for ages once more (:
Appreciate your honesty and attempts to explain such difficult feellings. Especially being mental health awareness week and all. I've done some very similar explaining recently - I know how hard it is :)
I am currently feeling exactly like you right now: blank and colorless. I constantly feel like I need to either cry or scream do anything to try and get this feeling out of me and prove to myself that I still have emotions. Although I know my buss is not empty, I feel like I am sitting at the back row, all by myself and no one really knows I'm there because they haven't looked around to see me sitting in my own. Well, they must know I'm there because they saw me getting on the buss in the first place but after that the just, sort of forgot. This video is quite old now and by the looks of it you are, hopefully, better or at least getting better. Please can you tell me something, anything to give me some hope that one day soon, someone will turn around and see me sitting on the back seat. X
I know you are probably hoping for Dodie's answer but I'm sorry, it's just me. I just wanted to tell you that you're awesome and that you can do anything you want if you believe in yourself. And you are not alone. You are supported by everyone and we love you. Have a good day ❤
I can really relate to the feeling grey section of this video. I felt/ still feel like all of my life has been a grey patch and I've never been truly happy. For example: I went on a once in a life time trip to America last year and it was a really awesome thing and should have been amazing, but looking back on it, my brain doesn't let me feel that happiness about it and doesn't give me the butterflies of excitement inside. I felt really guilty about it because it cost a lot of money and there are so many people that aren't lucky enough to have this experience and forced myself to feel those emotions I thought I should be feeling, I sometimes I still do. But I have realised and keep on realising that this is just the way my brain works and it's not my fault. I can't do anything about it other than keep looking for those things in life that give me these emotions and make me feel truly happy
Thanks dodie, now I'm less stressed and you actually made me realize that not every day has to be the best day but that even the simplest days can be the happiest. 😊
I tried to write something in response to this, because this video's pure existence means a lot to me. Then again, just writing that is probably good enough
Watching this in 2021 because for me this is ✨nostalgia✨. Realizing I was 16 when I last watched this and living through what I thought would be the hardest part of my life (lol) has got me sobbing. Hahah. A mess. Also, I got a tattoo the day before I turned 20 for the exact same reason but I didn’t know where I had gotten the idea. I can’t believe that idea had been living in my brain subconsciously from this 5 year old video. I miss overdramatic 16 year old me that idolized Dodie. Still love you, Dodie.
Wow I remember first watching this when it came out I was 13, almost 14 years old. Now I’m 19, turning 20 like dodie in this video. Didn’t think I would make it this far but I’m so glad I did
watched this again in the morning and cried my eyes out<3 dodie, I'm so glad you're finding happiness again, and I'm so happy that I was able to come and see you again ^.^ I love the end of this video as we all look so happy, and that was one of the happiest nights of my life. Hope to see you soon<3 xoxo
Quite honestly, this video made me feel nostalgic in a way I never have before. Thank you for helping me see the lives of those around me who are suffering with depression in a more more understanding way. Love you!
I like sitting at the back of your bus and singing 3 part harmonies with you. Maybe one day we'll find more than one song. EH EEEHH??? Lovely to see this in full. Very happy for dodester <3 Hopefully see you soon xxx
aww this video is great💜 I love u Dodie, and ik , depression is hard and can't go away easy. it sticks like glue. it feels like ur drowning and there's no one to save you. it feels like ur in a corn maze trying to find a way out but you can't seem to find a way out. it sucks. especially when ur as young as I. We just need to stay strong,and things WILL be okay💋
I've only recently found you and I instantly fell in love. Also fairly recently I've been starting to understand your burger metaphor A LOT. I feel almost empty, but it's almost like I'm feeling all of these emotions, but they just seem to be dulled within my brain. It's as if my life is a painting. It used to be very bright and colourful, and still is, but to me it seems like it's faded over time. I feel like maybe it's depression but I'm not sure, and I don't want to insult all of the people who know they have it and are highly affected by it by saying that I have it when I don't. You have been such an inspiration to me over the past couple of months and I want to thank you for being so honest and down to earth. I love all of your music, and all of your videos. I am sure that you must get hundreds of messages like this but I think that you can never have too many positive comments. Thank you thank you thank you for everything you do for me and all of the rest of the amazing group of people that watch your videos and can relate to you. Keep doing what you're doing, you are amazing.
I always imagine I have fairy lights in my heart. Recently, they have been flickering. I was waiting for the moment I would lose my temper, say something silly, for the fuses in the bulbs to blow; you have just switched the fairy lights on. They are shining with happiness and pride for you. Keep it up Dodie. Let the fairy lights shine on x
Woah that burger analogy is amazing! I've never really known how describe that feeling other than feeling as hollow as those chocolate bunnies at Easter. I'm glad you're starting to feel better xxx
That metaphor hit me hard. I feel like my bus is empty, and it has been for a long time. Still i tell myself that i'm alright just enjoying the peace an quiet of this bus ride. Maybe that is not so. Maybe I should allow other people in. I guess i avoid thinking about this stuff. I guess i am glad that now i did. Thanks Dodie <3
I have been a Doddleoddle fan from Day 1. This is one of my favorite videos of yours.
Sometimes I feel like my bus is empty too, like I have a really great juicy burger and I don't taste any of it... and I feel so bad because I SHOULD be enjoying it and I SHOULD be having as much of a good time as the people around me seem to be having. Well. This video gave me hope, Dodie. That 1. Other people (like me, all musical and naturally optimistic and wut not) feel this way, and not that it is normal... but at least I am not alone, 2. It's OK to go get a tattoo or do something spontaneous even if you always told yourself you'd never do it, and 3. Being happy depends not on the circumstance, but how you FEEL inside. And sometimes it's alright to jump on a bouncy house and goof off and have good clean innocent fun, and it's also alright to be in crowded sweaty venues playing music for hundreds of strangers.
Anyway. I just wanted to tell you how much your videos mean to me. They are my bright spot. I follow your tweets and posts and vids because we are so similar, and your creativity and general "normal"ness (if that makes sense? Obviously you are not normal, but I mean you kind of are cus youre just feeling your way thru life like the rest of us) makes me happy and feel like I have something in common with someone else on my worst, most isolated days.
Keep posting and creating. You are an inspiration without trying to be, and honestly that is the best kind. <3
after hearing youve been privatizing some vloggle videos, i immediately came to check on this one. this video means a lot to me; it really started my journey of understanding my own mental health and it plays in the back of my head to this day. of course, i completely get if this isnt one youre comfortable leaving up, i just wanted to let you know how important it was/is to me and to thank you for making it. all the best to you:)
Thank you for posting this Dodie. I just got out of hospital yesterday after being in for a few weeks after my mental illnesses took over my life and I never thought I would survive but somehow I have and it's still so so hard but seeing you talk about it makes me feel so much less alone. Lots of love to you and anyone else struggling 💕xxx
Dodie you're so inspiring! I always feel so positive about the future when I watch your videos. Thank you for following your dreams and inspiring us to do the same :)
thanks dodie. ive been scared cause my family thinks i might have anxiety and that really really really terrifies me and so thanks for cheering me up and everything and i love you so yay :)
This is honestly my favourite video ever! I cry every time I watch it :'(! I can't even begin to explain how beautiful the whole thing is! I love you Dodie xx
you getting your uke smashed totally reminds me of Harry Potter's Nimbus 2000 getting crushed in the whomping willow which is sad and OH NOW IM EMOTIONAL
I went through a similar thing last year, I felt pretty lost, this is so inspiring, thankyou for your lovely videos, sending you happy squishy vibes xox
My dearest Dodie, I've seen this video about a hundred times & in May I was able to write a song with someone I love a lot. That song is called "life is a bus ride" because I've never been more inspired than by this beautiful video. I know the feeling you're describing & I feel like I need to say thank you. So thank you Dodie for hopefully not getting off my bus any time soon. X
This actually explains exactly how I've been feeling lately. Thank you for putting it into words. This makes me even prouder of you Dodie. Thank you for this.
That description hit me so hard... Just crying my eyes out because I can relate so much. It's so easy to think you're out of that 'hole' though, then get dragged right back into it. Thanks for being honest Dodie, that's so brave of you but it can influence/ encourage so many people who need it. I respect you so much, thanks.
Dodie honestly i love you so much, I have been going through the same thing you have and this just gave me so much hope to keep trying. Thank you for this, honestly ❤️
I could just replay that ending forever oml- dodie you're so amazing. you are loved by so many people and are such a big inspiration to almost everyone you meet. you're talented, compassionate, so endearing and you just give off one of the most calm, positive energy. please never stop doing what you're doing- you're one of the best people ever and I know I'm only one small person out of the entire world but I love you dodie, you're truly someone to admire and look up to <3
Frankly, I cannot say I can relate to this video because I am very inexperienced when it comes to life. But I seriously fucking love this video so much. And I have to say Dodie, you're one of my favorite youtubers because you do things like this. It's not like you're sharing your entire life or something but you're showing your viewers things that really do help them through the tough times and it's just really nice. I don't know it just makes you seem more like a real person than just a normal, plastered on smile youtuber. I don't really have much of a point, but this video is important. It's really bloody important.
Well this was pleasant :) I'm so happy you're having a good bus ride and that everything is shaping up. You really lived your life on this tour and all those ups and downs taught you something. Happy for you
THIS HAS CHANGED MY LIFE U ARE AMAZING DONT FORGET THAT and I know mental health issues are crap (I have anxiety ) but keep doing what u love and what makes u happy xx
whenever I'm having an extra bad day or generally feeling like crap I go to this video. It makes me feel less alone and it also helps me believe that one day everything will get better and I'll be the happy, confident person I was before
This is beautiful. The way she tells her story, how she felt and changed her view on situations (etc), everything about it is worth watching it again and again. I could write so much more.. but I shut up now. (I know she won't read this, but still: ) Thank you for sharing that part of your journey with us. :)
I've had a few colourful, happy days myself recently too, and they've made me feel so good! I'm glad your colourful days are great memories for you too look back on, lots of love Xxx
Dodie, this was so raw and beautiful. You know theres an old saying, a tiny patch of blue sky is enough to make a sailor a pair of trousers. Odds are once you finally see that little bit of blue, the weather will fine up and the sun will slowly come out. Im so glad to see that you are slowly finding your little bit of blue sky on a cloudy day.
Thank you for this, Dodie! Everyone needs that "It Gets Better" message sometimes. Really, thank you. Sending you love and good vibes and happy to be on the bus with you!! <3
This video is amazing! I cried, laughed and smiled like a loon but honestly you have made me feel so comforted and your burger theory and bus metaphor is so relatable! Thank you for being so inspiring and for sharing this video with the world! A huge thank you Dodie!!😘💗
I loved this video! The best part, however, when i opened the description i read your passage. I really saw what kind of person you are...thank you for adding such originality and beauty to this world, keep your head up ! XD
Oh my god, this hit me so hard. I've suffered with depression for two years now...and this just gave me an entirely new perspective. No, I won't be cured in a day, but thank you for this video it truly truly made me happier. Love you Dodie
I almost cried at the end, I had been feeling the same way lately and this is so relateable to my situation, your videos bring me joy and I aspire to be like you, so, thank you <3 luv ya
dodie i just want to let you know that this is one of my favorite videos you have ever posted. you are such a wonderful and inspiring person, and i am so grateful you take time to share your life with us on youtube. i'm so happy you are feeling better. xxxx
This is probably my favourite video. It gives me goosebumps every time and makes me look forward too growing up no matter how scary it may seem. Thank you Dodie xx
On another note, I've been going through much the same thing and have recently had to start going to a therapist for panic attacks and all that crap and she's just making me feel worse 😔
this is incredibly amazing i cried so much o my lord! you described depression so accurately and so beautifully i cant put it into words how much this video means to me, thank you doddie for being so crazy talented and lovely<3
I love the way you explain things in this video - especially the strangely accurate burger metaphor. I felt that really 'resonated' with me (whatever the hell that means). I'm so impressed you have the courage to open up like this and I only hope and pray things continue to turn around and you continue to see the positives and incredible joy in the world around you. :) xx Love from Australia
I loved this so much, I've been feeling this way recently and hopefully after next friday it will settle down a bit. You're not alone my wonderful pretty friend and soon (when I finish Uni) we should go out and chat and laugh and sing and do something wonderful and enjoy our adultness (metaphors n all).
PS. your bus will be a double decker in no time <3
You made me cry, Dodie. My life has been pretty down lately, and I can really relate to what you've said. You've helped me feel better, even if its just a tiny bit. I love you! ♥
This made me cry so much but I'm so so SO happy that your feeling hope and pure happiness Dodie. We all love you so much and I'll be on your bus ride forever <3
This is literally exactly how I feel in life right how. With the bus metaphor and everything I just started crying because I can relate to you so much.
Dodes, this is amazing and this isn't just coming from an empty heart. I found you just recently and it's amazing how you've affected my life :) You inspire me and when I saw you, I thought about how you've been the realest Youtuber so far- that your channel isn't all perfection and etc. That bus has one late passenger, but I'm riding anyway :)
This is like, the 3rd or 4th time I've watched this and it still just makes me feel fuzzy inside and happy and i just love seeing people doing things they've always wanted to and starting to feel better <3
Glad you're feeling colour again and I just wanted to let you know how beautiful you look in this video; the hair, the cardigan, the owl - so gorgeous :)
For some reason it felt so good when you talked about depression and that you actually started feeling again, and had some really good days. It gives me hope for my own future! Thank you dodie!!!! I hope you are well! I love you!
This is how I've been feeling after I started school this year. For most of my life I've always been afraid to show my true colors and really express myself. I hated school because I was so afraid of being judged. But last year at school was one of the best years of my life so far because I had so many friends that loved me for who I am and I felt like I could be myself. Now I am back to being afraid of people judging me. I'm not happy but I'm not sad. I'm just blah. It's hard to be happy when your always paranoid that someone is laughing about you behind your back or judging you. It's hard to be happy when your hiding who you really are.
oh my god dodie I genuinely cried at the end. And I'm not a big crier, I could probably count on my fingers the amount of times something like this has moved me to tears.
I'm so glad you're starting to feel better, and it can only go up from here. Thank you for introducing me to the bus metaphor- it made me realise that although I may be going over some bumpy roads at the moment I have a bus full of amazing and wonderful people to support me! <33
I really admire the strength it must've took to both edit and upload this... I can relate to you so so much. So thank you, this video summed up a lot, and I'm so happy that you're feeling happy! I'm kinda in awe of you and I really can't fathom the fact that my best friend and I are going to see you and Bri perform here in NZ in like only a months time! AHHHHH x
Hey Dodie! I'd just like to say thank you so much for this video, because I've been feeling especially shitty lately but watching this video has made me feel a bit better and a lot more hopeful :-)
This is such an amazing video, it has inspired me to love myself and I am so relieved that I have stumbled upon it. You have no idea how much I relate to this video, and I am so grateful for it. Thank you for sharing this video, and thank you for talking about everything so beautifully and honestly, and thank you for sharing such an inspirational journey with awesome metaphors, thank you doddlevloggle. This video means a lot.
Wow, that last part had me in tears and I didn't even see them coming! You're so brave for telling us this, and I love your metaphors... I just wish I was as brave as you to talk about something that I find quite personal and hard to talk about, How did you bring up the courage?! You're an amazing human being Dodie and your videos bring a smile to my face, thank you for being you! xx
I get you so well!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it makes me feel less alone. And you're incredibly brave for putting yourself out there so often and in such an immense way even though depression mostly makes you feel like hiding... I hope I can be as brave as you in two years when I turn 20 :) Cute Video!
I love you so much, wow. I relate to what you said so hard and it makes me really happy to know that you're starting to feel better. You're such a beautiful bundle of sunshine. <3
balling my eyes out. Never have i ever had someone explain how i feel inside, honestly the most relatable video i've seen in a long time. Thank you Dodie! ♡ LOVE YOU
the burger analogy is so true it's the worst thing in the world ever and sometimes I can't even get to the point where the burger feels warm or looks good to me in any way but there are some days that break me out of it a little bit and your birthday was one of them it's one of the happiest times I've had in so long I don't think I've ever been surrounded by so many happy friendly people and getting to meet them and the fact that you seemed like you actually kinda were happy to see me idk man it was just the best time so thank you a lot a lot a lot for that sorry for the long comment idk it's almost 1am thank you sorry bye
That was lovely... I've lost quite a few friends and family as well recently, but your video really helped remind me of the importance of appreciation... You're spectacular; I hope your newfound happiness continues for a really long time <3
The end of this video made me cry so much. You don't deserve to be depressed when all you do is make people smile. You are the best person ever and I hope you don't always feel like poo. Also, can all of us join the bus?
I'm so proud of you for sharing this! I am honored to be on your bus. As far as all of the feelings, me too. This is how I've been feeling for a long time.
cant stop watching this video. i really find it difficult to explain what's happening in my damn brain and the way this whole video just flows together gives me a sense of security (ik that sounds super weird bc it's just a video but yeah...) thank you for everything dodie ^-^
I've been so excited for this video since you first mentioned it and I definitely wasn't disappointed, this was so lovely and inspirational and awesome - love you lots 😊
DODIE!!! This video is so amazing and centering and I'm just kinda sitting here paralyzed. Thank you so much for being so freaking honest. The best videos are just sitting and talking. And thank you for just talking to us and showing us a bit of who you are. Love you!
I'm having the worst experience of empty bus right now so I rewatched this. I don't really know what to do anymore it has been like this for the longest time and I don't see myself feeling normal or even happy any time soon. I am just not capable of filling my own bus. NEW ANALOGY i feel like life is like trying the beanboozled challenge (BEAR WITH ME), you don't know whether you'll get the nice tasting bean or the gross tasting one and everyone around you tells you that its worth playing for the few good ones you might come across but your luck sucks and you have a chain of bad tasting ones and for you its better not to even play the game at all, its not worth it.
This was one of the most honest and incredible videos I have ever seen. I'm not going to pretend I know you well, but from what I have seen, I think you are truly wonderful human. Thank you for sharing this video with us, from the bottom of my heart I wish you the best.
So I'm now going to be late since I'm sitting on my bed in tears after this ❤️ never forget how much we all love you and there are so many of us who understand the type of feelings you have gone through 💕✨
Dodie, I really appreciate you posting this video. I was going through a period of not feeling much at all and it was rough. It helped to see someone express my feelings exactly in a way that I couldn't explain to myself. I'm happy to say that I'm starting to taste the burger again. Thank you so much.
Dodie this was amazing. It's also something that you now have to keep, forever and look back on whenever you want or need! I really enjoyed watching the little journey you took us all on, and we are all here to support you whatever road your bus goes down next! HUGS! XX
I love this video so much. You put into words so many of my feelings. I was at the Dublin gig, sorry if we overwhelmed you. I didn't get to say hi but I completely understand why. I glad you are starting to feel better and I want to give you a really big hug.
Dodie, this was beautiful. Thank you for sharing how you actually feel instead of pretending to be okay. Depression is the worst feeling in the world, but you, I, and many other people, can get better. Because the world is amazing, and bright, and happy. It's full of adventures and wonderful friends- we just have to know where to look :) xx
This is one of my favourite videos of yours dodie :) you are so amazingly brilliant! I'm actually crying😂. Anyone who is on your bus is extremely lucky :)
I reallyreallyreally need to go to bed so I can't watch this BUT I did read your little letter in the description and like honestly how dare you make me tear up like that? No but seriously, you're such a great human and I can't wait to watch this first thing tomorrow morning because you are greatgreatgreat
@doddleoddle HELLO update I just watched the video and honestly you're one of my favourite creators on this entire website and this video was GREAT, I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better!
I cried and smiled from this video. Thank you dodie for all the videos you've given everyone of us. It's not easy to openly say things like this but when you did and became happier I felt happy too and just thank you so much dodie :)
The thing that got me through my teenage years, especially the later ones, was having an older friend who'd suffered much the same, but he'd come out on the other side okay and told me it would get better. And it did. And it still is. Things aren't perfect, but I'm 23 now, and rarely experience the deep dark depression I used to feel.
I feel it's important to get that message out there, that it does get better. It's probably one of the most helpful things you can believe, even if not always.
Oh dodie this made me cry 😢 I'm so so over the moon that you are happy, thank you for tour because it was one of the best nights and I hope to see you again really soon xxxx
I've never enjoyed watching a 20 minute youtube video so much. The editing, sharing little details such as the tattoo, but most of all the fact that everything you said here was so beautiful and the way you explained and shared the way you feel was htgrwefaibnjrsf. Keep doing what you do and stay strong, you clearly have many people who love you :)
I honestly had no idea how much I needed this video in my life. It's my new favorite. I will always come back to it whenever I'm having "those days". It has such great messages and agh I love it so much. Thank you so so much Dodie. Xxx
It's nearly 5 am where I am and I'm just sat here on my bed crying my eyes out I'm so happy for you Dodie I'm not really sure what to say you just describe everything perfectly and your videos help me a lot thanks also I love you
Your videos make me so happy!! this is my favourite one yet! the burger metaphor was literally perfect aha I could relate so much. please carry on making videos like this you are a lovely human <3
This vlog is so amazing and inspiring. I really love it. I admire your courage. Sometimes I get stage fright just by watching big crowds in youtube videos lol .... Hundreds of people gives me anxiety, what's wrong with me? lol .. . Poor uke btw. that was horrible!! I know I'm a musician.
I appreciate you're ability to be vulnerable to help the community with an issue such as depression. It is difficult to articulate and so is misconstrued, people avoid discussing it as a result. But using your platform to raise awareness on personal issues is brave and so I just wanted to say, Thank you xx
It's so crazy watching this video back. I still relate to this so much and I think it really links to both depression and depersonalisation. This is exactly how I'm currently feeling about comic con, and I'm so scared because I want to enjoy it so much. This burger analogy explains my head very well, as do most of your analogies. I just wanna say, thank you for helping explain my own brain as well in addition to your own. You've helped me understand myself more, and become slightly more comfortable with what is actually possibly wrong with me. You've gr9 Dodie!
Is that a piano cover of BriBry's Adventure Time I'm hearing in the background...? Anywaaays loved this video and watched all of it. You're a fantastic person Dodie.
I think my heart just cried a little...the amount of things you said that I related to...I surprised myself. Thank you so much for making this, Dodie. From the bottom of my heart. Luf u <3
Holy shit this was incredible! This honestly was one of the best videos on YT I have ever seen (and I've seen a lot). How do you do it that you just stay genuine and yourself I love that. You are such an amazing person and a youtuber. You deserve it all and more and even though I've never even met you I feel so happy for you and "your bus full of lovely people" :)
Oh dodie this literally hits me so hard i've been having such a rough rough time and seeing people like you and how you get through things calms me down so so much. People like you are such great things in this world, you serve as a reminder that no matter what things will get atleast a little bit better. Thank you, thank you for being here
I have to get up for my exams in 5 hours, and I'm sat here crying my eyes out. I find it so hard to explain what's going on in my brain sometimes, and it scares me when people find those words and I relate to them. It makes everything seem so much more real. I'm terrified I'm not going to find my ladder, because every time I think I'm getting better, it gets so much worse. I'm just glad I have someone as brave and amazing as you to look up to
@Emily Pickup TRUST ME you will find a ladder!!!! if it's been a while and you can't find it please oh please book an appointment, reach out to someone my friends helped me back up, but don't you dare stop until you find someone else who can help you!
I've tried Dodie, I've spoken to friends, I've seen counselors, nothing helps and inevitably I end up feeling worse because of it. Maybe I'm just one of those people destined to not be happy.
@Emily Pickup It may not mean much, but I saw this and had to say, that I have not so long ago felt EXACTLY how you feel. It seems endless, it's so tiring, and it is so dark. But things can change so quickly, and you can feel good again. Find someone, anyone, anywhere that understands you, and talk to them. In life, on the internet, even if it's in your head for now! Talk it through with someone who gets it. And good luck.
Just know that it will get better. Keep pushing through. Try not to think in 'nevers' - try to change it to an if or a when. If you feel lonely on your bus, know that there are a million and one other people who know how you feel. They might be strangers, but they could be that person on the bus who gives up their seat because you look tired and that you should sit down. One of the best things about YouTube is that there is a huge community of people who you don't necessarily know, but are ready and willing to help you if ever you need it. Stay strong. <3
I've been there. It's a pretty dark hole. But it's always great when you grow some wings and fly up out of it!! :) I'll always be thinking of you and I'm so happy for everything you've achieved x
I totally understand the burger analogy. But I think that this goes for me as well as other people, but its like you spend the rest of your teenagehood trying to figure out which burger you want. You pick burgers after burgers and you keep sending them back because you don't like them. But the people around you suggest which burger that you should get and you try them out. All of your friends seem to be really happy with their burgers and your parents seem to order the same thing. You still don't know which one you want and once you finally figure out which burger you want, its time to leave the restaurant and they urge you to go to a, I don't know, Mexican restaurant. So you decide to take the burger out- to finish with other restaurants. And, yeah when you look back, you wish you kept the burgers. In the moment, the burger seemed really bland and gross but when you look back, it was the greatest burger you've ever tasted.
@whoishahong oh yeah, and if that burger is the best burger you've ever tasted but then you realize it wasn't even a really good burger after all? that's what i'm most afraid of. you hear people saying teenage years and high school years are the best days of your life and i sit here thinking what if i'm wasting my time and it will all just get even worse from here and what if in 5 or 10 years i don't even have anything to look back on? ugh scary stuff
oh dodie i'm crying! this last week, i've started feeling good again, for the first time in a number of months. it feels like the dial's been switched back up, i don't know how or why this happened, but im so glad that it has. i could really relate, thank you for this video xxx
i've watched this video like a dozen times and every time i watch it want to give dodie a hug and talk to her about life like we're just two friends who trust each other with our thoughts and feelings
I try not to define my emotions so much by using the words of others but that burger metaphor and pretty much everything you said in this video was hard hitting as hell. I really cannot stress enough how vastly I appreciate your vulnerability.
I enjoyed this so much, Dodie. You're such an exceptional person and when I watch anything you make I feel like a sponge soaking up all kinds of nutritious goodness.
AND DAT PRETTY LADY AT 15:00 MADE MY HEART GO BOOM BOOM.
@doddleoddle Now I feel sorry for posting something silly when everybody else is writing deep feels. It's amazing how you're replying to everybody! You're very good for that. Tell you what, 3 or 4 years ago, I felt pretty bad without showing much of it. I would be sad alone, and come back the next day without seeming any different. Last year or so, things have picked up so much. The people I'm around are much more supportive than they used to be, and negativity I do feel just isn't as bad. My ladder was a rather slow one, but thankfully I'm fine for now.
aw it makes me so happy that you were able to finish the tour feeling genuinely happy. awk I feel like your mother even though I'm like 6 years younger than you aaghh
OMG I'm actually in tears right now, you have such a good way of putting words. My life goal is to one day collab with you, no joke. I love you so much Dodie!!!
And ps: I would buy a million tickets just to be on that bus☺️❤️
This made me tear up a little, because maybe now I understand myself and my feelings a little better... Anyways, a beautiful video, enjoyed it very much!
you have such a wonderful way with words Dodie! I'm sorry you've felt like this, I have depression too and it is the worst thing ever but I'm glad we're both starting to see in colour now. This video gives me hope, really appreciate hearing your beautiful voice and the kind words you share <3
I was all happy and smiley and thought this was super cute and kinda sad and then you got to the end it just...struck a chord in me and now I'm crying.
I'm in tears. This video was amazing. I think it may be one of my favourite videos you have ever put up.everyone I watch you, I get really empathetic and its kind of amazing. When you talked about the call from Bri about your ukulele I got anxious and worried and when I saw it i genuinely felt down and sad because it's everywhere on your channel. When you went to the up and go event and out with friends I felt genuinely happy and excited. Your videos are amazing. Stay strong and keep up the amazing work.
This was so ridiculously beautiful and heart-warming because it just felt so real. You're amazing, and I'm sorry you've had to go through all the shit that you've felt for the last few years. I'm sorry for everyone who has. Hell, everyone goes through shit, and there's no way around it, it's shit. So so glad you feel more optimistic now. I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through all this but also have so many people who love you but also rely on you. It must be tough being so amazing to all of us, but then being stuck with feeling shitty the moment you end the video. I just want you to know that we all love you, and I think you're amazing for being so open with us. It will help so many people. And if there's one thing I've learned in my 19 years hanging around this planet, is that there's nothing better than helping others. For them and for you. So much love sent your way :) xxx
I just went through so many emotions in such a short space of time gaaahhhh. Thank you for being so honest. You are wonderful and although I could feel your pain whilst watching that, I'm so glad that you're beginning to find your way back out of the hole. I think I am too, slowly, after 7 or so years. It's so refreshing. Keep going, fill that bus, and if anyone else gets off, remember that just leaves space for someone else to get on at the next stop xxx
It's sad, but the only people I've found who can really understand depression are people who've had depression themselves :( This was a great video, Dodie xx
but dodie, I want you to know you mean the world to me. my life has been so very grey for so very long, but you really have added little dabs and tiny brushstrokes of colour to my grey empty canvas, and I hope that one day those little seemingly insignificant brushstrokes will build up, creating a vivid, colourful masterpiece.
see you soon, I hope to get off my empty bus and join you on your bus, that is, if I can find a space to sit down.
That was a lovely video; can I say that when it deals with depression ? I think I should as you share the emotional battle of depression in a remarkably honest manner and you are amazing for doing so :)
I had never seen a video that had made me feel like I was so connected to someone until I watched this. I honestly felt like I've known you for years. Your ups and downs and everything in between. You are an absolutely amazing and inspiring woman. Might I mention that I play the uke because of you?! You are beautiful, intelligent, kind, and talented. I know a few words from someone you've never met won't make depression go away, but I have hope it will help you feel better. Keep on doing amazing things Dodie! I hope that one day I'll be able to meet you and give you the biggest hug that I've ever given anyone, not only because I'll be over the moon excited to see you, but also as a thank you, for being there for me, even though you don't know me. Love ya!! <3
Omg I just found this comment again and it actually made me tear up. Little did I know I'd actually meet you a month after I posted that, and give you a huge hug and tell you how much you mean to me, and even get your signature and a few pictures. Thank you Dodie for being such a gem of a human being ❤️
This was such a real and emotional video but in the most comforting way. I can relate to a lot of the things you said and to hear that you're starting to feel better gives me hope too xxx p.s. where can I buy a ticket for your bus?
I am glad you found a bright day in the darkness of depression. I struggled with severe depression and understand the hopelessness it can force upon you, the rollercoaster ride of bleak and bright. Here is to many more days of color!
Genuinely cried there reading your letter in the description box. This video is amazing and I feel you, depression is really aweful and difficult. :( I've been so down lately that even my body started reacting strangely, my period stopped and I'm crying and having panic attacks all the time... Even though supposedly everything is fine. I'm 20, I study music, I'm co-directing and starring in an amazing musical, I'm going to Canada next year.. But I just can't seem to have my brain working. :( Thanks for this video <3
Depression just kills me inside. I don't suffer from it but I was once very close to someone who was and I have a great understanding and empathy towards it and seeing you and this and the way you described it only enhanced my understanding and it kills me that people have to go through feeling that. The idea of it being inescapable and that someone is trapped without being able to do anything, just twists my insides and my heart. It hurts me to see someone go through this, I sincerely hope that the colour stays in your life, Dodie, I really do...
Dodie I love your videos so much! I also struggle with depression. I few years ago, I was the worst I have ever been. This video is such an amazing explanation of what that time in my life felt like. And even that bit at the end about the color coming back and looking at the pictures with happiness really hits me. There are still moments when I feel the depression kicking in but honestly it has made me so much more grateful for everything. I think of it as an unfortunate blessing because even though it was so hard and I didn't think I'd make it through the darkness, I have learned to live every day like it's the last. I know that's super cheesy and cliche. It's just when you cone so close to no longer being here...it makes every day a bit more spectacular. Thank you for being you and for being so inspirational and wonderful. <3 I really appreciate that you shared this with all of us :)
Oh dodie, you're absolutely gorgeous, your videos have been touching me right in the tingles lately and I feel like we're similar, it's nice to see other people my age feeling like I do, I'm turning 20 in April this year, and I just wanted to tell you how much you inspire me <3 lots of love, Bonnie :)
I've never had depression and every day I appreciate that. However even for someone who has never experienced that kind of feeling over such a stretch of time I found that this still struck a chord with me. Perhaps its because I have seen people go through depression and overcome it, and I think that that is one of the most inspiring and beautiful things to witness. To see a persons strength and drive to overcome something like depression is truly humbling, so Dodie your video both humbled me and brought me to tears.
Actually probably one of the BEST youtube videos I have EVER seen :) I hope one day I get the pleasure of meeting you, you adorable, wonderful person, you!!!
i'm in tears like literally, i always feel like i can't enjoy the moment or i can't be happy, you resumed my life in the 2 last minutes of your video. I'd like to buy a ticket to get on your bus forever, to support you no matter what because you make me feel happy and i can't thank you enough. Love you so much and thank you
I have severe anxiety, I can hardly leave my house. I look back on last Summer so fondly because I was so happy, but all of my friends have gone to uni or gone travelling and I feel so lonely on my bus. I hope you feel better soon, I hope I do too. This video was wonderful x
I love that you can talk about your depression so openly. I have depression and I try and use my music to help me and I love your original songs and covers. Also your channel is awesome! :P
I'm actually crying. I've felt this way for so long, years, and it just doesn't seem to be getting any better. Thank you for the smidgen of hope. I'll be back here daily.
i have severe anxiety. i live my life in constant fear and forever looking over my shoulder. i avoid anything that makes me feel worried and seeing you social and really talkative to people, i envy you so much. i know there isn't anything you can do to help me or give me advice but i would like to ask you if you could, in anyway, advice me to be social despite of my social and general anxiety
+Anamika Mahesj recently she sprained her ankle jumping down from her loft bed, she passed out from the pain and when she got to the hospital they didn't even give her a splint to put it in or crutches
That funny random day is something you and bribry helped create for us, if I didnt go to that gig by myself then I wouldn't of met up with my mad friends and had the funniest train station moments and seen the bright colours around me. <3 thank you! X
This is one of my favourite videos of all time, it takes so much courage to speak about your feelings to people, especially when it's thousands of people. I'm so happy for you, that you're starting to see how full your bus is and starting to see all the colours around you. Your metaphors and explanations hit home and it made me feel a lot better. Thank you for being so honest, and thank you for being you. xx
i actually can't even deal with how unintentionally amazing this video it is. maybe its more unique to me because i've been in that exact tour world and stuff which is quite a weird thing to do anyway, but like i just related to everything you said like i've never related to anyone talking about this before? and also maybe i should just be texting you this or something but i feel like the world should know just HOW GR8 I THINK YOU R DODIE omg its like 2.23am wtf is going on ily goodnight xxx
All the metaphors in this hit home for me. I really hope you feel great as soon as possible. I hope you get as happy as you make people. I love you and so do lots more of us.
I literally love you. You inspire me a looooot. I feel my bus is empty, but there is one person that still has there ticket. But that person has just got on. I hope he will stay on for the rest of my miserable life. You help me get over with whatever is truly wrong with me. I am depressed. I don't want to live anymore. Im sick and tired of being ran over and treated like a maid or servant. I want to leave this world and just float where the wind takes me. But you Doddleoddle make me (:
gosh thank you so so much. years in the past and your videos still make me cry. please never stop doing this, your videos really help me to figure out my depression and all that comes with it. I love you and wish you the best x
Dear doddle, I sometimes feel just like you! And I'm genuinely afraid that depression will beat me. Whenever I go through these episodes, I think of committing suicide, and I'm scared that one day I will. But this video gave me hope to defeat this shit, so thank you soooooo much for making it. ily <3
wow dodie this was beautiful YOU are beautiful!!! I hope you can always look back at this and feel this same happiness that somehow shines through all the darkness of yesterday.. so much love for you <333
'my brain hasn't been working for the past year or two' this explains it perfectly, everytime you try to fix it and be happy, you can't because you brain doesn't allow you to, it just doesn't work and it's so frustrating because you can't understand why thank you for this video dodie, it felt like a warm hug which i very much needed <3
Dodie this video literally made my day, I love you and your videos and you just make me feel, well I can't explain how you make me feel but it feels so amazing, you just have something about you that makes me feel happy and uplifted x your beautiful, have a gorgeous voice and have the cutest personality. Don't worry about the people who have "left your bus" you have amazing friends who will be there for you any time and you have amazing fans! I'm pretty sure it is illegal to be as amazing as you are, but somehow you get away with it, just remember you're Dodie and there is no way anyone could possibly not love you <3 I know this probably makes no sense but I really can't explain it! love you loads Dodie, -Audrey
Wow. This just makes it so clear. I've never suffered with depression and I know that because of that I won't understand it properly. I find not being able to understand so difficult because all I want to be able to do is help. You, Dodie, are the first person I've seen who has explained depression in a way that makes people who haven't suffered from it feel as though they aren't so far away from supporting those who are suffering. Thank you for helping us to understand more.
I really wish were friends. I feel like we relate on so many levels and it's a shame that we'll probably never get the chance to become friends because if we did I think we'd become great friends.
This video is so beautiful, honest, and just everything. I understand how you feel so bad, and I just want to say thank you. Thank you Dodie for talking about this I appreciate it so much. I've quite a lot going on at the moment and my mood goes up and down all the time. And yes ''this should be fun, right?'' yes, for other people maybe, but I'm not enjoying it and I don't know why. I try to enjoy things and sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. But, Dodie, I appreciate your honesty, I've always done. You always make me feel better, so thank you. I'm glad you see positive things again, I slowly start seeing them as well and I hope everyone slowly does, I really do. We all deserve to live. <3
Thank you so much for saying this, it's nice to know I'm not alone with these feelings. You will get to that place of happiness and genuineness. I promise, because you are just that awesome. I don't pretend to know you but you drive for emotions. You try to live to the fullest. You have no idea how much ur videos help me. Thank you
I know you probably won't read this this but I just want to say~
I love you so much. Since I started watching your videos, I've felt so much better. Your videos have helped me (and many others) to feel happier and less alone. Thank you. I hope that you feel better very soon, as you deserve to be the happiest you can. We all love you so much, please never forget that.
that lovely day you talk about, i can see that that day must be special. It looked lovely, i hope you have more days like that one, i hope everyone does. That day would have been my favorite day too. Stay happy dodie xx
totally amazing, down to earth true video, one of very few i have seen from youtubers. I hope your life stays full now for long. i chose to say life instead of bus ;) xx
This is your best video ever made and the end bit made me cry. It's so nice to finally find someone who understands and has the same things going on inside their head
Wow. That's all I can say really just.....wow. You are such an inspiration Dodie (cheesy yes I know) but it's true. I'm so glad that you had a good time on tour and that you are feeling better. Thank-you so much for your honesty and then positivity. And you're very right, mental disorders do suck! All I can say is that I am so happy for you and I'm so glad I am on your bus xox
This was so beautiful, your description was such a gentle yet highly accurate approach to these darker feelings. This really struck a chord with me as I've followed your channel for three years now (Jesus Christ that's a while) and I am so happy you are starting to feel the warm bubbly feeling inside once more because honestly I know how feeling that after such a long time of feeling grey is so wonderful. <3
i've been binge watching all your videos, and it's been a bit of a rough time for me. it's a kind of sadness, but i don't quite think it's depression. i've seen descriptions of what it is for other people, and one of the ones that struck out to me, was "It's as if the world is so grey that you can't breathe."
but that's not what it is for me. for me, it's like i'm colorblind. and sometimes i have those glasses that fix it, but other time's i'll sit and stare at a door just wanting to think about something, but my mind is blank. or i'll stare at my lights until they start to blur because i want to see that not all change is bad.
but i don't know if it's depression or just my head.
Dodie we all love you and really hope you do continue seeing the colour...I mean there's a whole freaking rainbow of colours out there, and that's only the spectrum that we can see! I hope that life throws up rainbows on you and that you're like covered in that happy multicoloured slime. Like go swim in that slime Dodie. What an awful metaphor, Eh? @doddleoddle @doddlevloggle
This is the most relatable video i have ever seen. Literally everything you said at the end is how i feel. I'd like to buy a ticket to be on your bus pls
It makes me so incredibly happy that 3 of my favourite youtubers are now doing monthly Vlogs! :D I really admire how you were able to talk about what you're going through. I mean, a lot of people with depression find it hard to talk to even their best friend, and you just opened up to thousands of people. Also this vlog was just really well edited and really thought provoking and just incredible! Well done! :) <3
The other day there was a talent show and me and my friend had too perform in front of the class and the class is all like people i know and everyone in my class is really nice and everything but for some reason I nearly fainted! I swear XD And like i could feel my legs "disappearing" and the adrenaline in my body just stoped honestly
Definitely should be studying, but instead I watched all of this and this video is amazing and the last bit made me tear up a bit <3 Dodie you are lovely, and loved :)
Dodie, I have enjoyed quite a few of your music videos and some of your other stuff, but this was... simply amazing! I haven't been so moved by a YT video in a long time. You are an amazing person and expanding your thoughts here for 20+ minutes, using simple but very effective metaphors... Brilliant! Hang in there, girl! You're doing great!
I want to give this video a million likes! So brave to share things like this so openly, even if it has taken a couple of years to figure stuff out, you're at the point where you can share and that is the biggest stepping stone for anyone in this hole! 😘😘😘😘much love Dodie!
I know this is old and I'm late but posts and texts about deppresion don't actually help me but i cried reading yours dodie. Thank you so much for putting words in such a strong order.
I have been watching your videos for the last 3 years now and although I have never met you I feel that you have been a part of my life. I remember the first video of yours that I watched was your "Your Song" cover. I honestly watched that video at least 15 times! I have always looked up to you and respect just how real you are willing to be on your channel. I know there is still a lot of stuff you do not share but I appreciate just how public you have been with your music and your life. I personally do not know what it is like to have depression but my 2 closest friends have it and I am so glad that things are getting better for you <3 I think you are the most adorable and wonderful person on youtube and I hope the best for you. I hope to one day meet you but for now have a wonderful life :)
It's currently 7:23 am and I haven't gone to sleep at all, because I've of been binge watching your videos. I don't regret a single thing :) also this video has to be my favourite on the internet, it brings memories from I went to those venues
I'm currently travelling New Zealand with a friend and I'm having a really hard time enjoying this trip because I'm just g r e y and oh my god it felt s o good to watch this video because now I know that I'm not alone in this, thank u dodie-from-the-past u give me hope
Dodie I love this. I've been feeling the same the last few years, and I'm lucky enough to feel like my bus is filling up too! Life goes up and down soo much, so to people who are on an up- that's amazing, be in love with that, and don't be afraid of going down again, it happens but you will he okay and you will get back up. And people who feel like your bus is empty and that things are grey- you are strong and amazing and you never know what/who is ahead, you will get through it!
I'm watching this again because I need it, you described my last 8 months perfectly, I've been a mess and I get angry at myself for it because my life is amazing and everything is fine, but my brain keeps telling me that's not. A few days ago I started to see hope in things and have really amazing days with friends, and I hope that those feelings came to stay. I'm here with you Dodie, thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone <3
im half way through my geography assessment and now i just have random tear stains on my page from watching this. we are all here <3333333 love love love
Dodie, you are the sweetest thing, if I ever meet you I will hug you so much (if that's okay of course).. and I can deffo relate to what you're saying!! xx
Oh Gosh, I love this video Dodie:) I felt that I was able to connect with you on a whole another level. I feel empty most of the time in situations where I should feel happy, excited. Or something at least. But, I feel none of those things. I look around and see everyone laughing and taking it all in and I just can't help but think, "Am I missing something?" "Why am I not happy? Is there something wrong with me?I wanna feel like that. "And then I start to feel really envious of the people around me who feel happy without even trying and then, the tears start. At the end, I feel even more lost, confused and sad than even before this whole thing started. Finally, the numbness sets in and I learn to live with it. I've been living with this feeling for a few years now and its not getting any better. Thank You for making this video and sharing a little bit of yourself. It has made me feel less alone. p.s. the burger analogy described by situation perfectly.
You are really beautiful and I love your videos. It's currently 3:20 am and I'm here watching your awesomeness. This video made me cry. Do you know where I can buy a bus ticket?
I love the bus metaphor. A good way of looking at it is seeing how many seats you have to be filled and thinking of all the cool people you can fill them with! (Also, this is my favourite video you've ever done)
I love you. Thank you so much for this.. I'm really trying to find a ladder but it looks like the hole just keeps getting bigger. It's been three years and only a few months ago I started to search for help. I dont intend to give up, but having no motivation makes me feel stuck. Thanks for this video. It made me feel happy for you.
Oh god, i genuinely care for you a lot and i think you're a beautiful and amazing person. Idk why but i never realised you had depression, idk if i maybe haven't seen any videos you've posted about it or if you don't talk about it, but I'd have never thought you had felt or still feel this way. We are here for you, we want you to feel as amazing as we think you are. I know how you feel about finding the happiest times in the 'less interesting' days. I think i find my happiness in those kind of days where i hang out with friends at sixth form as it hits me that I'm being a normal person, something i never thought I'd be. I love you so much and i hope you continue to feel better, but either way we are along for your glorious bus ride ;) x
This video is so beautiful and emotional. The way you depicted how depression feels like so perfectly blows my mind, because I have also been having struggles with my brain for the past few years and don't know how to explain the war inside my brain to others. I am hoping to become a musician one day and you are the ultimate inspiration. Thank you, Dodie, for sharing your story with the YouTube community and to all the people going through the same battles as you. 💕
This video was amazing @doddleoddle, you are so honest and it's genuinely inspiring. I've never heard depression described like that. Being someone who's never experienced it, it's not the easiest thing to get your head around, but you made it so understandable. Hopefully if anyone I know experiences anything like this I can be a better friend to them, and probably point them in the direction of this video aha :P
Anyway, I just wanted to say I hope you always remember how many people's lives you make better, Dodie, and you are never alone <3
I'm not gonna lie.. This teared me up! I'm really happy for you that the colours are brightening for you and that you're enjoying everything you're doing. You deserve everything good and I'm glad it's beginning to show for you!
Some people have bad days, others have bad times. These times doesn't have a limit and can go on for a week, a month, a year or even longer. It's the strong people who get through these bad times and the even stronger people who talks about it and help others through their own experiences. You inspire me Dodie, there is no other way of putting it. I'm genuinely so happy for you! x
oh my god i love you so much this made me cryyyyyy. i understand completely what youre talking about and i feel like you explained it so great. you put how i feel and how lots of other people into words i love you so much
I love how honest you are, & how you don't pretend to be someone else you're not. Your a big role model for all ages, because you show us to be OURSELVES. YOU ARE THE BESTEST DODIE! xx
Dodie you put it into words so well and I'm so happy that you do. I'm crying because I love you and I never want you to be unhappy but I realize that you can't help it. No one can. But we love you always and well always be on your bus, even if that metaphor is crap :)
I've been dealing with depression for a very long time and other shit I'll spare you from hearing. But the end. It made realize how much good I actually have. I have this amazing family and loving boyfriend and great friends. Life is terrible yet it's so beautiful and I forgot about the beautiful part. Thank you for reminding me.
You are a beautiful human being with a wonderful spirit and I'm so sorry that you have to deal with depression. I know what it feels like when all of the happiness has gone.... it really sucks, but one day you will wake up and the black cloud will be gone. Your videos make my heart happy. I wish you the best! 😁
Thank you so much for making this video. I have not experienced depression myself, but the burger analogy genuinely put it into perspective so very well. I have a few friends who are or have been depressed and I ALWAYS want to help them but I never truly know what to say or do, and it's really upsetting to see so many people that I care about dealing with grey worlds. Do you have any advice for people seeing depression from an external perspective?
Also, thank you for getting on my bus a few years ago ^_^ it's probably one of the best things that have happened to me
Ive just watched this now and everything has become clear like it's taken a while to try and break the wall down and now it's finally working and this video explains it ily <33
this is one of the best videos I've ever seen, seriously I'm sitting here sobbing because of how good it was. I absolutely adore you dodie and I'm so so happy and so so glad you're feeling happier now :') honestly I get you and it sucks so much when there's nothing but happiness and good things around you and you feel like this little dark miserable rain cloud but hey, there's hope I guess. you're absolutely wonderful + one of the best people in the world; I'm so glad you exist
I totally understand what you mean with that metaphor! I feel like that right ;-; with exams and everything too which adds soooososososo much more pressure and everything sucks but honestly I'd like you to know that you're absolutely wonderful and your videos always add colours into my grey moods c: <3
This video made me cry.. a lot! But I'm so happy that you are happy 😊 (p.s Im so sorry we were so loud at the dublin gig we were just very happy to see you Xx☺)
Dodie I don't know you personally but one thing i know is that you're an AMAZING person. You've inspired me a lot and thank you for being so natural and so honest all the time. I frequently feel like i am alone in my bus but with this video, i want to believe that things can get better. I am living in Paris and I Hope i'll get the chance to see your "bus" one day. Merci pour tout.
God dammit dodie! It's 2am and I'm all emotional now :') this is just so beautiful and honest. I dont think there are many people out there who admit that they're feeling down with themselves even when they "seem" to have everything they could want. I've suffered with depression for as long as I can remember (seriously, I remember being at least under ten and crying myself to sleep for reasons I didn't even know at the time), but you are a real encouragement, and I don't think that I really could've got through depression alive if it wasn't for your videos (it might sound sad since I'm just some person who you don't know behind a laptop) but YouTube has been the only thing that has ever seemed to be on my side. Thank you for the help Dodie, I really hope that you feel better too, I can't stand to see you upset x
Dodie this really spoke to me. Everything from the feeling nothing when everything seems great and people getting off the bus, genuinely brought a tear to my eye. I hope you're happier now because you deserve it so much <3
What an awful metaphor, but what an awesome video. I can't help but smile watching you on tour, and someday I really wish I will be able to go to see you on one of your tours. :-D
I wonder who told you the bus metaphor. Nevertheless, this video was absolutely beautiful and I'm now sobbing in a little ball of "???". Thank you for this :)
holy moley i love you and your videos and your bravery and i always comment that you 'seem' lovely because I always try to remind myself that we essentially see an edited version of creators on here but god damnit you are just bloody lovely
I've been going through a really dark time lately, a friend gave me a metaphors on depression and she said it's like a dementor taking away all of your happiness and making you feel unworthy and in loved and this is how I've felt for so long. Like nothing will be good again but I've just sat and cried at this video because you have me the realisation that my 'bus' isn't empty and I've got so many people in my life that are good and loving and supportive. Thank you Dodie for being one of the lights in what seems like this endless tunnel of darkness. What you do matters to so many of try to keep that in mind because there are thousands of people on your bus. Happy Thoughts :) x
this is the first time ive heard something that totally and utterly describes my situation and brain and im ever so slightly emotional because ive just been like this eating my flavourless burgers for years now and now suddenly i find out people feel the same. thank you dodie, for making me feel less alone i guess :) x
You're videos are amazing Dodie. You can manage to bring colour and joy to us with your music and all the other funky stuff you make, even when you feel shitty. You're so inspiring and wonderful and fabulous and omigosh thank you so much for what you do. Cheers for being a ladder for so many other people ^-^
I think that all I have to say and all that I can say is; thank you. You helped me tonight as I sat alone in my bed, writing song lyrics in my head, I've written one and it's called bus ticket. Thank you for that inspiration and thank you for the happiness I can finally hope to feel x
I am in tears, honestly this sums everything up perfectly. The burger metaphor is perfect! But with the bus thing, I feel like there are plenty of people on my bus but no-one really wants to be there, like a fucking replacement bus service or something. It gives me so much hope to see that you're starting to get better though!xxx
You're always referencing the feelings of nothingness/blank/empty, and I always respect it but never really understand it, but that burger metaphor was actually really helpful to understand what you've been going through for so long. <3 <3
this video really made me stop and smile so much, life isnt always smiley, some times you've gotta try to really push through the things that are holding you back and everyone who does that needs to recognize how great they are for doing so, and everyone who's struggling right now or in a weeks time, you're stronger than you think, however small or big the steps you take you're doing better than you once were, thank you so much Dodie, I hope you have a great day whether or not you see this
This is my favourite video you has ever posted. I am in awe with how real you are, Dodie. You're are so beautiful and honestly one of my favourite people in the world. I have met you and you were so kind to me and I will never forget when we sung together. Thank you so much for just being you and inspiring me every single day of my life. I love you so much Dodie and I'm glad that you have an amazing beautiful bus. You are definately on my one! Thank you xx love jordern.
Dear Dodie, I've watched the video (THE WHOLE VIDEO! Some people do watch the whole video) for the third time now. I had to think about the video a lot, because I can really relate to what you are saying actually.. What I want to say is, you can be whoever or whatever the fuck you want to be, no one can tell you what kind of video you should upload or who someone wants you to be. I really needed some time, to think about the video and everything you said, because I once felt the same way (it is better now, but not gone, but I'm good) and I just wanted to remind you that, you don't have to fulfill anyones needs, but yours. Yourself is the one that counts. (Sure, your family and friends n the ones you love <3 , but I mean like; someone who is telling you, what to upload, etc. hope you understand what I mean) You are amazing the way you are. I watch your videos everyday. When I'm feeling bad, your videos and your songs help me to get through a hard day (sounds cheesy but I REALLY mean it.) I just want to say that, whenever someones goes off your bus, it happens for a reason. If they do not want to continue the ride on your bus anymore, you FUCKING don't need them on your bus!! It is YOUR bus, and you can choose whom you want on there. This is what I have learned through the past 3 years. I just wanted to say, that you've done a great job, (even if I don't know you, but what I can see in your videos) and it is okay to not feel good sometimes. If you need someone to talk (I know you don't know me, and I don't know you but I just want to suggest it to you in case you don't have any to talk to, because they are foodshopping etc) you can talk to me any time! I love your videos and you the way you are, and I will forever support you here from Germany! Just remind yourself that you are good enough :)
Love, Helene
P.S.: I can totally relate to the iceboater going through you veins, before stage!!!!! I ALWAYS DIE BEFORE I GO ON STAGE!!! :D
oh my god dodie you made me cry. i have always always envisioned you as the pinnacle of happiness. whenever i was feeling down i would always watch your videos just to hear your voice. i love you so much and i think its really cool the way you explained this entire experience for you. you are one of my biggest idols and i love you a lot
All throughout the video I didn't really know where you were going with it, but in the end it kinda made me cry. I cried because I know exactly what you're going through, and that's what makes it so hard hitting. So I hope more than anything that you don't have to go through feeling alone for much longer <3
I've been dealing with depression for a while now and I am leaving my school I have been going to for 10 years and when you talked about the bus metaphor I crumbled a little.
It really hit me hard at the end,hell,I am still crying while typing this. And it was because I can relate to this so so so much and I just never want any one that I love to ever feel that pain,even if I never get to truely know them,I will forever wish the happiness upon them that they have given me. (:
just found out about Dodie about a week ago and not only could relate to all the lyrics she sings about, but am genuinely proud of how much progress and obstacles she's overcome. DODIE YOU'RE WONDERFUL!
Your metaphors make so much sense to me. I've had pretty bad depression for a few years now and I'm slowly starting to feel better about life and myself again. Your videos are always so cute and make me smile and I'm glad you felt brave enough to share this part of yourself with so many people. I hope you continue to go in a positive direction and be the smiley happy Dodie you deserve to be
you are so honest and real with us all dodie, and it's so important to me that I can look up to people who are honest and real so thank you so much you are such a lovely person and trust me even if it's hard to feel like it now, your bus will be full and every passenger will be enjoying amazing dodie burgers (just a name of course cannibalism never helps anyone)
I've felt the same. I always thought I was a happy person, and yet for most of the past two years, I just haven't felt good. Not sick, not suicidal, just dreary. And yet this year and lately, it's felt like a dream. Sometimes I still feel down, but the moment I do, someone comes by. A friend telling me a horrid joke, calling about homework and end up talking about nothing for hours, or someone just coming and being beside me without reason. All I can say if you're not feeling the best is it's okay, and I hope you find that one day you look out and everything just seems bright.
Thank you. Thank you, thank you. I just got back to New Jersey from a week in England today, and realized that I spent my entire trip choking down a grey, sludgey burger. And I had a wonderful time, don't get me wrong. But looking back, it doesn't feel like anything. And I didn't know how to talk about it to other people without sounding ungrateful. But this helps so much, and while I'm so sorry that you've ever suffered this way, I want to thank you for sharing the way you feel, because it has made me feel less alone.
hi dodie! i know it's been a long time since you posted this video but i just wanted to say thank you so much. since like last easter (2014) i've felt kind of just empty and sad and as you said, nothing. like i've had great days, like the day i saw you and bethan and met you guys, that was a good day. but the rest of the time i could be doing anything but i'd feel nothing or just really sad, and i still do now. but honestly with this video i watched it and i think it helped me finally understand what's been wrong. so thank you so much, everyone else i've ever known who's suffered with depression has said 'no you're just sad' but yeah thank you for helping me to understand what's going on in my head xx
Oh my, I am glad I didn't watch this at lunchtime. You are honestly one of the nicest you tubers I've ever met and I am so glad you are trying to help mental health. I want to write so much more but hey this isn't meant to be an essay. I am glad your getting your colour back and I hope you have loads of fun finding even better colours!
This made me realise that what I have been feeling is most likely depression, however severe it may be. Ever since some of my bestest friends left my school it hasn't been the same. It's like they haven't got off my bus but they don't have a season ticket anymore, I barely ever see them, when I used to see them every day. The friends still at my school, some I barely see anymore, it's like they're on my bus but not very often and the people I end up having to hang around with, they're not dreadful, but i wish that they weren't on my bus all the time, particularly as one of them is quite negative and I think it has an impact on me. I hope this summer, I can fill up my bus again with the people I want, but I worry that I won't and that makes me sad. I feel like everyone around me is in colour and I'm in grey.
This was a truly lovely video, the London gig and your birthday were lovely :) (apart from my anxiety but the happiness outweighs it)
I love your bus and all the people on it and I want a life ticket pls :)
Also, that adventure time instrumental was cute af. :3
I am very glad you are starting to feel better and long may it continue :)
Dodie, even though you don't know me, and I haven't had the chance to meet you in person, thank you for opening the door and letting me be one of the faceless people on you bus. For allowing all of us on your bus.
The part where everyone sang you happy birthday made me cry I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm going to be and adult someday and I'm going to be old and I'm going to die I'm so afraid what the hell
This is such a wonderful video! You are such a wonderful person! You make so many people happy even when you aren't necessarily happy yourself, that is something you should be incredibly proud of. I often feel alone even though logically I know that I'm not and it is a horrible, suffocating feeling because you want to just shake yourself and say "stop being so silly!!" but your brain just can't understand. I'm glad you're starting to feel happy again ❤️
Something about this, like the brain thing, at the end, and the letter in the description, something in me connected, and I wanted to say thank you, for sharing, but it made me feel like someone was on my bus for once, thank you Dodie.x
The last couple days of school I was asked "Who is your hero?" I replied "dodie"
you are my favourite person, I also feel tainted with sadness even on good days, but watching your videos is like a break from it all and I love you so much, you are an amazing person, I wish I could tell you in person but when you were in Ireland I couldn't go to your gigs, really wish I could have gone 😔
What song were you dancing to? Oh and I'm so so so happy for you, Dodie. I don't know what to say honestly... I'll never leave that bus, Dodie (am i even in the bus or..? where can i buy that ticket? haha) I promise. love you loads <3
I really needed to hear all of the things you said at the end of this video. Sometimes, I feel like my bus isn't even functional. I feel like sometimes it is broken down on the side of the road, and even the people on my bus are upset with me. But you're absolutely right, and I know things will get better. Colour will return to my life. I'm so extremely glad you exist, Dodie. You're beautiful, and so wonderful, and I hope you know that. xoxo
i have steadily realized how full each of my days can be, and i don't think i've ever been more content in my life. also - here's another metaphor - i like to think of myself as a kinda sponge (?) and soak up as much of every day as i can. my yesterday's aren't weighing me down anymore.. they're lifting me up. i'm glad you've found a way through your wall too :)
this made me feel. feel a lot, A LOT, of things. first, i wanted to scream and burst into tears because I've been feeling EXACTLY the same lately and it's so relieving to know that I'm not alone in this. then I started feeling sad because of your uke and everything that you had to deal with, but in a second I started feeling very proud and happy because you managed to pull through. it takes a fuck tone of courage and strength so hats off to you, mademoiselle. and now, I feel incredibly content. it's like all the little annoying thoughts in my head that are constantly buzzing about exams and life choices and problems with my family and my friends turning into people I can't talk to anymore just shut up. and I can breathe and think and tell myself I'll be okay. and this is very important and much needed. so, even if you (most definitely) eon't read this, I wanted to say thank you. thank you so much. you are amazing. keep going and never give up, no matter what happens in that bus. xx
I can relate... SO much. I've been dealing with Depression for a year now and I've almost killed myself thinking this world couldn't offer anything but the grey- and emptiness I've felt because I simply couldn't remember good times. I'm now taking meds and it's slowly getting better although I'm still far from cured and happy :/ It's sad to hear that you have to deal with depression at the moment and I can only tell you: stay strong with me :)
Wow.... What a great video. I loved the metaphors so so much they really spoke to me, especially the burger one. I have had several memories like that and it's just like my brain wants to pick out all the bad parts of those times and forget about anything fun, and when my friends talk about those memories I feel emptiness and regret. I'm so glad someone else feels this way and had the courage to share it, it thought no one else felt this! Thanks Dodie, love you ❤️
I cried. I'm sorry, I cried. I go through the same thing so often and I feel like no one around me understands it. My friends just say that if I'm not upset about anything then I'm fine. My mom actually told me that being depressed is stupid and a waste of time, which just made me feel like I was stupid and a waste of time. I've honestly been slowly getting happier since I discovered YouTube. It's full of people who are just like me and have been through the same things as me. It makes me feel far less alone, and far more understood. Every time that someone makes me laugh on YouTube, it makes my heart happy. It may sounds silly, but it makes everything brighter. Slowly my world is turning from complete blackness into a universe of color.
Gorgeous video Dodie. I may not be on your bus, but I like to see it pass by once and a while. We don't know one another, we likely never will, but when I see your videos like this, so honest and open, I can't help but feel love towards a friend. I do hope happiness comes your way more often and you smile more and more each day. Love and blessings, Dodie. Thanks for being you.
I love the bus metaphor. I kinda feel like there are plenty of people in my bus but they're all sitting in the back together and I'm sitting in the front alone.
I'm a relatively new and therefore insignificant passenger on your bus but this whole video resonated a lot with me and I think you're amazing. Thank you for being so open about yourself and giving me an opportunity to reflect on my own stuff. All the best. <3
The honesty in this video, Dodie, was immense. You constantly amaze me (and I'm sure many others will agree) on how you explain the feeling you get when one goes into a depression. You get it. You allow other people to get it. Usually, I see people just bottle these things up and let it get the better of them. But with you having posted this video, you're telling people, as alone they may feel, they're not. :)
Oh man. I just wanna give you a hugemongoose hug, right now! x
You can't watch this video and not feel connected to you. And I don't mean to sound cheesy or what not but I think you get it. I'm glad you uploaded this. You're not alone.
I've just realised watching that I have been going through depression for 4 years now. That's 1/5 of my life so far and it's horrible. It's just one of those things that affects everything I do now. I have no motivation to try doing the things I need to do just to get by, let alone the things I want to do, like starting a channel of my own here. I try to enjoy the little things and spend time with my friends when I feel mentally able to, which is becoming less and less as time goes on.
I guess this video has shown me that it genuinely does get better. Dodie, thank you for the songs you've written and your honesty about life. Thank you for the times I've met you and you've just been really kind. Thank you for this video. Than you for everything. If my brain was working correctly I'd probably be crying right now tbh
I was crying over that burger metaphor but then I started thinking of Supernatural when Dean was eating the burger in the leviathan episode and there was all the grey goop in it and I started laughing so hard. This video was an emotional rollercoaster but I LOVE IT so muchb
I think my problem is that I never let people on my bus. I just remain hidden in the back row on my laptop and block out everyone around me. Since I started work with some amazing happy people I think I'm slowly coming to see it's dark back here and I want to be with everyone else. <3
Was diagnosed earlier this year. Depression is shit. My friend taught me that you just had to power through in order to concur this disease. Never give up. I look forward to your Period vlogs (sounds so weird) #drunkenstupor
I can't even explain how much this video resonated with me Dodie, the burger metaphor, the bus, just your whole outlook on depression and life. You're so inspiring and you make me want to try harder to make my bus an amazing ride :D Thank you, and although I don't know you, from your videos I truly think you're a wonderful person and that you deserve happiness.
Ah dodie, rewatching this again bc I can relate, and I'd totally forgotten about me being in it at 21.50, in your absolutely smitten top, with the biggest fkn smile on my face. i miss your n I miss you guys, but honestly just looking back on this, it gives me the same sense of happiness that I did in that moment. standing in a circle singing with three of my favourite people in the world (you, bry n my sister Rachel). I just keep thinking about how lucky I am. ah I'm a sentimental mess. hopefully see you soon<33
Love you Dodie, you've got this. Things can get pretty sucky for no reason sometimes, but (though I know I'm one of thousands) I'm here for you. :) Best wishes, Another internet buddy.
I like the metaphors. They were actually quite clear. They made me remember that even when I've gone off burgers (like real life ones - sometimes you'd just just prefer a taco), I always bounce right back to Byron, even if it takes a long time. (Other burger chains are available).
I love you so much Dodie. I am amazed at how honest and strong you are on camera in this video. Yes there were clips that just looked like awful breakdowns but what made them strong is the clips later of you trying and doing things for yourself and asdkagh aghh you're such a special, lovely human. I never knew you had depression, and I'm honestly in shock because I became a fan months ago, and just recently binge watched most of your videos.. still not knowing about this absolute terrible grayness you have to live with. Thanks so much for all the metaphors because judging by all the comments from the gang it has helped massively. Remember everyday exactly what you said in the description about it getting better, and know we all appreciate what you do everyday. Love love love x ps, my birthday is april 11th as well c:
you're so bloody cute, Dodie. you have my full support. I've been there. And you're going to have to push me off your bus because I wont be leaving any time soon <3
I'm so glad you are feeling better Dodie, you deserve to be the happiest girl in the world. You spend so much time making other people happy, you deserve to be too. Thank you for all you have done and for always putting a smile on my face even on a day when my burger tasted like mush <3 you're such an inspiration x
this video actually helped me a crap ton. I'm only twelve and i have already been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I'm already on meds (yada yada yada). The description below the video describes how i've been feeling for the past 8 months now. I'm an only child with pretty awful friends but INCREDIBLE family. All my life i've wanted to move near my cousins and my mom and dad always say stuff like, "we'll talk about it later. It's most likely not happening, though." I know deep down that running away from my friends and town is just going to arouse larger problems, but I can't seem to think of any other idea! Today I asked my mom about moving and she said, "If we can get your anxiety sorted out by the end of the summer, then we'll talk." It was the stupidest thing to cry over but I felt like a bajillllliiiooonn weights had been lifted off of my shoulders. All I'm saying is that this video showed me that there are multiple ways to deal with depression etc. and that I should never completely give up. Thank you so much Dodie. You are my biggest inspiration.
I know how that feels, last year everyone got off my bus but one friend and my family and it felt like I had no-one, but really they were just getting off to make room for the amazing people who got on, I just had to wait a few stops :) metaphors metaphors
@***** On a serious note though Dodie, I'm glad you're beginning to see the light around you. I know depression likes to blind people, or like how you said takes away the taste on what should be a good thing, I can only say we all support and love you. :) x <3
this made me cry wow. This video actually kind of opened my eyes, that burger metaphor that you talked about is how I've been feeling quite a lot recently, but I never understood what I'm feeling, and just left it to simmer in my brain, trying to ignore it. It's a bit scary considering I'm only 16 and my life is great, just like that burger (beautiful A* metaphor there by the way), but it just feels empty sometimes. I hate myself for saying it though, because as I said, my life is so great and I have everything to be thankful for. I just keep having a great opportunity and then I don't enjoy it and feel like I've wasted it and ruined it for other people. My friends ask 'How was it?' and I fake a laugh and say it was great but it really wasn't. Ugh I just feel like I sound selfish whenever I think or say it. ANYWAY sorry for the rant to anyone who bothers to read this, but I feel like writing it down might help, so even if no one reads it, I might feel better ;)
Your honesty and the way you worded everything and just everything about this video has left me in tears. I'm not great at wording things as beautifully and intelligently as you do but I just wanna say it's amazing that you're feeling better and I love you and your bravery and honesty and amazingness so much :) x
Its a Wednesday morning, and I hate Wednesdays and this video has given me hope that maybe today wont suck and that life isn't all bad and I love you and this made me cry a lot thanks for being so amazing with words :)
This video has hit me hard. I don't suffer from depression, but your videos always make me so god damn happy and I just never gave a second thought that you might not be feeling this genuine happiness too. I am so glad that colour is seeping back into your life and I hope it continues to increase in vibrancy and brightness. I know this video will help so many feel less alone, and make everyone else realise that they need to be more aware of those suffering around them. I hope your happiness grows so that you can feel as happy as you've made so many of your audience. I admire your courage so much Dodie <3
I call depression the greatest (as in biggest, not best) battle of them all: a battle against yourself.
Still, I've never had it diagnosed so maybe don't know what I'm on about, but whatever on Earth or Gallifrey I went through last year, I can relate to quite a bit of what some people say about it.
I finally got around to watching this lol The burger analogy really hit home for me. This past weekend I performed my last marching band show of the year in a huge dome and I was so excited to feel this rush of excitement and pride and bittersweet, and throughout the performance I kept waiting and waiting but it never came. And when the show was over I was just like, "okay, that was fun, I guess." But I didn't really feel anything and it wasn't what I had hoped to feel and it was just disappointing
I shouldn't have watched this at 22:41 because I'm crying now and I probably can't stop. Thank you so much Dodie (!!!!!) for this message, I don't know why because I'm not feeling great but I know this will help me! need some sleep I think... x
I wanna give you a hug but I live in California 😔 Thanks for that Bus Ride Metaphor it makes sense to me (sad Ikr) A lot of people have left my bus and I'm sitting alone which sucks 😩... I also deal with depression and I'm getting help now 🤗 and I enjoy seeing your videos and singing with a ukulele (I bought myself a ukulele because of you and I love it) 💕you are beautiful and amazing and you make my day better💖
The bus metaphor is everything I've ever tried to say and I cried because I've felt alone for so long recently and even though you don't actually know me, it feels like you do :) xx
I've been thinking about this all day. I think just by circumstance my bus has become a bit empty. I'm going to uni soon though and I'm hoping that will be a chance to fill it up again.
i felt this video so deep down in my soul. you pretty much put into words what i couldn't say for the past four years. just before watching this video i had a conversation with a friend telling her that i feel like i'm in a hole i can't get out of. it's not that i don't try to be happy, believe me I do. but everytimes something stops me and at some points i couldn't even imagine what i would be without the sadness. it is really hard and sadly not a lot of people truly understand what it feels like. thank you for this video, stay strong, you're a wonderful human being ❤️
Dodie, this is one of the best videos I have ever seen, but please stop making my cry in front of my friends :) I'd do anything to get a ticket to ride your bus :)
I've only just found you on this wonderful crazy thing called YouTube and honestly I feel like I've none you my whole life. I'm in tears because for so long I've had this feeling but I didn't know what to call it or how to explain it to anybody until now. I felt crazy and stupid because I couldn't find anyone who could understand or comprehend what was going on. But this video...this video says it all. Thank you for this . Thank you for showing me I'm not crazy and maybe one day I can you in person and give you a big hug ✨💕ps kinda love that bus metaphor.
Would you potentially be able to make a cut version of this? I watched the whole thing but I would love to have 20:36-22:19 to send to one of my best friends. It really hit home and perfectly describes how I've felt about a handful of people who have stuck by me through my depression and mental health problems. This video was lovely and I hope you find the tools you need to cope and find joy in life as well! <3
Sometimes when there is something amazing that's happening or something remotely happy I just feel meh. Like kinda sad. It's so annoying bc I want to experience it to the fullest with everyone else who feels elated but I just don't feel happy. I know how you feel
eyes are welling up a tad... mostly because (and i know we aren't feeling the same thing because everyone is different) but you explained exactly how I'm feeling :) gotta hate a bland burger.
i forgot that i watched this video in its entirety and while watching it I realized that i did but I NEEDED TO SEE IT AGAIN. reading the description made me tear up (i would cry but i feel weak when i cry so my brain programmed itself not to do that. im overly self conscious BUT ANYWAY) because I'm getting out of this cave to see the sun. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA TALKING ABOUT DEPRESSION AND MENTAL ILLNESS STUFF IS WEIRD BUT I LOVE THAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING THAT MORE OFTEN AND IT COMFORTS ME KNOWING THAT YOU (someone who travels and sings and makes music and videos for a living while having great friends) CAN STILL FEEL THESE THINGS. sorry for typing in all caps, i just wanted to let u know that u inspire me to talk about my mental illness and are one of the ppl who help me embrace my true self. thank you dodie <3
This video made me so emotional at the end for many reasons . I just wanted to say thank you too, you helped inspire me to start uploading on my own YouTube channel and do things I never thought I would like learn new instruments! I lie being creative on YouTube and hope one day I can be as good as you :) x
A few months ago, me and my friend joined a school comedy show. We had a skit making fun of The Voice, a popular U.K talent show. Went on, and my friend completely forgot his lines. I just nearly passed out and we had to stop after about two lines. I haven't able to go on stage since and, as person who is about to join a theatre group, I am sincerely fucked. Why did I leave this comment? I'm so weird....
I graduated high school today..and in the beginning I was happy, excited, and just ready to start a new chapter in my life. But it came towards the night and I just couldn't get myself to enjoy it. I didn't understand . I was surrounded by friends ( friends I consider family ) and laughter and just having a good time but I couldn't get myself to fully enjoy any of it. The problem isn't that I wouldn't see my friends again because I'll see them almost everyday , just a car ride away. The problem is .. I don't know the problem . I just can't enjoy today which makes me so mad I cry . This is the day I'm suppose to remember forever and tell me kids but I just can't fully be happy...
Dodie this was beautiful. And all of your metaphors that you use are all too true and I can relate to all of them (I hate using that phrase in this instance but I can't think of any other).
I can't get enough of your videos, Dodie. They genuinely mean so much to me. I'll listen to your music or watch your vlogs when I'm feeling sad or just when I'm bored. Your songs strike such a chord in me. I just.. care about you I guess, almost like a friend although, realistically you don't know me. And I appreciate you and all you do. You talk about things that are really near to my heart. I guess thank you is all, I hope you're doing well, always. ♥
You are a beautiful person, and although you may not realise it yet, you are making amazing changes in yourself and to those around you. Embrace the wonderful journey and enjoy it.
I feel like crap when I do this. My thoughts are the deepest and most empathetic when I'm tired af and in bed at 3 am, which also turns out to be when I feel closest to what I feel depression is like, because any other time of day I'm still thinking deep but mostly about other things (like youtubers and stuff) so I do not stop to check over myself and see if I have a serious problem or if I'm just sad at the moment. So sadly the problems that always come to me late at night (or really really early in the morning) are caused by what I forgot to do in the day. Sorry that was a random comment which I don't think belongs here but I just feel like showing my nighttime emotions before I fall asleep, wake up, and check if I should take my feelings seriously
Dodie your bus will never be empty!! Even though I've never met you, you are too much of a thoughtful, kind, loving, caring and wonderful person to ever not have someone on their bus. People come in and out of our lives for a reason and it's sucky when someone leaves but that's just leaves more room for the best people 💜 It makes me so happy to see that you're feeling the colours and joy of life again, because you bring so much joy to other people, so you undoubtedly deserve it! It's actually because of you that I'm going to try to learn the ukulele after my exams ^.^ music is already a big part of my life (I play flute and piano) and I just wish I could be as talented as you! Much love x
Dodie you make me smile. This video was incredible and your way with words is incredible and how genuine and sincere youre being with us is incredible. Like many people, unfortunately, I have been and still am where you were with your depression and sadness an emptiness. There's something about you that always makes me smile for no reason and honestly I can't even thank you enough for giving me a reason to smile even when there was no reason at all. Keep pushing through and it'll all get better and we will always be here for you, forever riding your bus. I love you so much and I'm really happy that you're feeling happy <3 xxx
I just wanna hug you and ahh, just all the emotions. I admire you a lot Dodie and this has just increased that admiration! You are special! :) definitely one of my favourite YouTubers. I hate having those days where nothing is wrong but you can't help but feel like shit. I am so glad to see you are becoming more happy!! :) I do really admire you Dodie! Please never stop making videos, from ones like this to covers. You are amazing!
Dodie, I never really comment on youtube videos but I feel like I need to say thank you. This video didn't help me in the hugest way, but I just got back from my biology GCSE exam which I don't think went well, despite loads of revision over the past few months. I watched this video in my pyjamas while painting my nails to cheer myself up, and it was so uplifting (and my nails dried just as the video ended, which was satisfying). Obviously that isn't a particularly emotional or interesting story, but I felt the need to say that I'm glad you're feeling better, and I'm glad you make other people like me happy. Whoever ends up on your bus will be lucky to know you.
dodie Clark you beautiful human. I hope u are good now and I relate to a lot of the things u said In this and a lot of my friends have said the same. u have done really well to allow urself to be happy and u have Inspired me to stay happy💟
I'm so so happy that you're feeling as if your getting better ^-^
I have symptons of depression and have told a couple of friends about it but they seem to brush it off as their idea of depression is that you have to cut. So idk whether I do have depression or not. The symptons are getting worse but still idk if it's depression. I'm honestly so confused. But it's getting worse slower that is would have gone if people like you didn't exist to brighten my day and give a moment of happiness, even if it's brief.
Thank you so much Dodie, not just from me but also from others feeling this way. x
I have had a rubbish day and I probs failed my gcse French ( but who needs gcse French anyway !!) this video has made my day a lot better - thanks Dodie for making videos which make me smile :) but now back to revision ....
ahhhhh. ah ah ah. this was super nice and it's actually kind of even nicer because i was having a not so good day, and then i watched this video and for the first two thirds i was like 'hey. this is making me feel a lot better. i am getting a lil bit of colour back today for now this is rly nice i hope this stays.' and then u started to talk abt feeling grey and i was like OH because i hadn't read the description yet, and i hadn't realised it was gonna go there, and so i started to cry when u got into talking abt that but it wasn't for bad reasons (well, depends ur point of view), it was like "oko kok kok this is exactly how i feel...oK" and i was freaking out a lil bit because i'd never related to anyone abt it before. and then at the end when u said u were feeling better everything had such a nice and warm feeling and my day ended up being a rAINBOW of colour when it seemed to be one of those days where nothing, not even six puppies and two kittens could take away the greyness. idk this whole comment has been a ramble but i sort of wanted to say that like a thank you? or something? idk thank u this was a rly cool thing to say (the description as well x) and ur. amazing. :)
thankyou for sharing this dodie, i understand that this must not have been easy for you but i appreciate this so much. i understand that even when you're surrounded by people, you can still feel alone, still feel crap and i'm not going to say that i thought i was the only one, because i know i'm not, but it makes me feel so much better to know that someone i look up to is going through the same thing and making it through. you sharing this 22 minute video has given me something to look back at when i feel like this and realise i'm not alone and that i can do it too. you're so amazing dodie and i appreciate you so much, thank you for showing me it's more than possible, and that it does get better❤
Depression is like walking down a dark tunnel. others can see the light at the end of the tunnel which gives them motivation to carry on. While some can't see the light. when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you become hopeless and began to lose faith. Metaphors..... :(
This came at just the right time for me. I'm currently sat in the depression cave contemplating suicide and thinking about all the benefits it would bring to my fiends and families lives. But thank you for telling me about the ladder. I hope that I find mine soon.
I'm crying omg Dodie you are literal perfection like you know just how to put these random thoughts into words so perfectly and omg. Like I cannot even describe how perfect the end of this video was. I'd give anything to be able to just sit and talk too you about life. You have so much life experience and just seem like you'd be an absolutely amazing person to speak with. I love you so much, and please never stop doing what you do<3
You are your own person and that makes you beautiful. Don't feel down, instead try to see the beauty that this world holds. Every day can be as beautiful and filled with happiness as that one special day off that you had. :)
The ending really got to me and I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up. Thank you dodie for being so open and also I'm just genuinely so happy that you're starting to get back on your own two feet. There's nothing that makes me happier than when the people who make me feel better are getting better themselves. You've gone through so much and you aren't finished yet but you figuring this all out seems to be working well. <3
oh gosh I didn't think this would make me emotional an yet I'm sat here crying my little eyes out! This video was so reassuring as I've had many days like these and it's weird and it feels like it's just me. like everyone else doing fine and I'm the odd one. (Which obviously isn't true but that's how it feels.) and I'm not sure where I'm going with this but I guess I'm just really glad I decided to watch this video as it made me feel as if this state that I'm in is only temporary and that's what I needed right now.
Nerves are the shittest feeling but it's also sooo satisfying for me because it makes me a bit hyper and just happy which is really not like me cuz I'm really shy so nerves are shitty but great for me 😂
The fact that I realised you were at the side of the academy 2/3 at the bit where you were talking about getting a tattoo, makes me realise i've spent way too many hours round there waiting for bands and queing for gigs. Worth it though, gutted I couldn't go to this tour :( looks like it was so fun!
Years ago I was with my family going to the London Dungeons and freaked and ran away to that park while they went in but went back and didn't run away last year!!!!
Dodie, if you ever feel like you're sitting on a bus with no one else next to you and you're all alone. Think about who's driving the bus. Get up, and start driving, Missy. <3
I cried at the end without really realizing first. I'm not somebody who cries a lot but the thing is I always had a small bus and I love that bus but I finished schooo now and I'm scared that bus will be left with just me
That was an amazing metaphor. I have realized that I'm kind of going through the same thing.. I've been very unhappy for the past few months. I've been putting on a hypothetical mask. This mask is a fake personality. It's got bits and pieces of me but there just scraping the surface. I stay in my room to try and breathe. Take off my mask and just breathe. My family doesn't like it. They think I'm just staying on the Internet and wasting my time. I don't know how to tell them. I feel like if I tell them then I'm sounding like a drama queen. I don't want to tell them so I have to let go of people. I try not to get close so I spill. I have only cried in front of one of my friends and someone passed away. I don't like this person. I'm way to mature for her and she makes me so infuriated. My family doesn't like to see me sad so I only cry when their gone or when I'm supposed to be going to sleep. It might come from my fear of expressing myself. I'm not a doctor/therapist.
(It wouldn't let me type anymore) I don't want to see one. I know if I do I'll have to tell everyone because I'll change. Then I'll start to lose people. People will start being all nice to me and being all sappy and crap. I don't need your sympathy. It makes me mad because their just being all sweet but it gets annoying. I have some close friends that I almost pour out on. I don't though because I'm too mature for them and if I cry they won't react well. Their guys. They aren't comfortable being a shoulder to lean on. All of the girls are drama queens. I don't know who to talk to. I was a VERY big liar as a kid so my parents don't have much trust. I don't like crying. I don't. It makes me feel weak and frail. I'm a strong person. I usually just pull through the tears. It's gotten harder. I'm crying writing this. Whenever one of my family members catches me crying they always ask why I'm crying. I don't want to tell them so I say that I don't know.
{Again} I isolate myself when I can't take it anymore. I cry and cry and think. Whenever someone finds me crying I make up excuses. It's not fun doing this. I hate it. I just want to wake up one day and not put on the mask and everything be okay. No stupid sympathy. I want to hop back on the same train with the same people and everyone be happy. So thank you for making me realize what I'm feeling is real. Thank you so so much. I can't express it enough. Thank you.💕 -Payton
i'm just a few years older than u but i remember when i was closer to your age a lot of people were getting off my bus too. i think its just that point in your life and your friends' lives where everybody is really becoming who they're going to be for the rest of their lives and it's just how things are going to be from now on. it helped me find more of the really good ones too tho. and i cant say i made the wrong decision in getting rid of the bad ones, even if it hurts more than anything else
I was diagnosed with minor depression in December last year. It was a bit of an emotional day, and weeks after that. People didn't believe me, one of my closest friends said "at least it's not major depression and you don't need counselling like me." From a friend, this hurt so much. I haven't had the same approach with her since. I don't like her as much at all anymore. Dodie, this video made me feel better about the situation I've been in with people recently, and the thoughts I have just constantly had throughout. I love everything you do, and you're such an outgoing person and seem so happy. The way you explained the last bit of this video about depression made it so relatable, and to know there is someone else out there who is basically feeling / felt the same, makes me feel a little better. Dodie, thank you for this video. You're an amazing person ❤️ With hugs, abi x x x
Dodie I am feeling exactly the same way right now and I really don't know what to do. It feels as if all my friends are happy but I am sad and it is not even about anything in particular. I really don't know what to do and I am so confused about it all. Glad you are feeling better. Watching your videos is the only bit of happiness I get in a day. Thank you so much for the little bit of sunshine you share that helps me to get up in the morning
You were so good in Belfast. I am so sorry to hear about your uke its really sad. I'm very sentimental with my guitar so if that happened to me I would probably cry. (A lot) By the way cute tattoo
the bit where you showed you guys walking around near the london eye and sneaking into the park filled me with this great sense of like, fantastical adventure. i don't know how to describe it really, i just know i've had that feeling myself whenever me and my friends would find ourselves getting into things and just being young and carefree and whimsical. as someone who suffered from depression and depersonalization in the past, those were the times that were just so emotionally healing, like big bright spots of light shining in through the clouds. it made life interesting; adventurous. even though this was over two years ago, i'm glad you got to experience something like that. once you feel that kind of light, it's always there in your memory, even if it's toned with sadness from nostalgia. you can recognize how amazing that time was while it happened and appreciate it for all it was. i'm only 22 but i feel like that sense of youth i had at 19/20 is gone. it was such a special time for growth and i'm hoping to get that feeling again someday soon.
I think one of the most important things about depression is talking about it, because even though you don't want to do anything, I Know from my own experience that it's when your at the bottom of the pit that you need people the most. My depression was a result of ocd and anxiety and for me, being alone was the worst thing (even though normally I don't mind being in my own company) talking about it is so underrated. I hope you're doing ok Dodie :) xxxx
You are so right about the feeling of depression being like, never ending. That was the hardest thing for me to explain to people- there was no silver lining or light at the end of the tunnel. It was dark and I thought it always would be.
I'm in a good, stable place. For me, counseling helped a lot! And I got it for free through my school! So thankful for it to this day. Thanks for your honesty!
I've never officially been diagnosed with any form of depression, but over the course of this year, I've had way more dips in mood than I've recognised having before, and I feel like it could well be a possibility that I've been experiencing it.
I do like the bus metaphor, but for me, the worry I have is that the bus is moving slowly and I have no idea where it's taking me. And I have people on this bus who are telling me that I have the power to drive it to where I want to go, but any time I pick up speed, I worry I'll crash and burn and have to stop myself.
What I mean is, I feel I can relate to this more than I would have in another time of my life. I guess part of being an adult is recognising that, as long as you have the right people on your bus, the ride can be a little bit easier. And seeing the friends you have, they seem like good people to me.
hi, i don't know if you will ever read this, but i just wanted to say that you are such an amazing person, your videos all ways put a smile on my face :) but i know that i could never help how you are felling but you have helped me a lot. i understand how you felling and i;m glad you are finally seeing light and felling happy.. this video is so sad but so is the description..
I don't really know how to put this into words, but this video, it gives me hope, I seem to always come back to this. It's like you give me the energy through video (wHaT?!) and I can kind of see things clearer, the bus metaphor, I'm still waiting for more people to hop on; I've lost more or less all my passengers, especially over the past 2 months, but I'll be moving on to a new chapter in September; and I really hope that'll get things moving I hope you're okay dodie, and I'm so glad that you have shared this with us; it gives me satisfaction that there is a broken community all around me, and that I will eventually be able to reach out; things will get better, even if I don't know when. Thank you for always being that person that can give me hope, and for sharing this small broken part of you. It has helped me so much so far, and I'm hoping you'll continue to help me in the future (n ya this was posted over a year ago but bruh I'm still loving it) ❤️❤️xxxxxxxx
19:48 Dodie I think you're sounding more Irish than American :'D
In all seriousness, this is my favourite video of you so far. <3 I'm very often afraid that, at certain moments, I won't be able to appreciate my burger as much as other people. Well, I'm technically terrified of people pointing out their excitement and try to avoid it by all means. It is becoming an issue lately, and I need to sort it out. Thank you for sharing!
I don't really know who you are. I just randomly found you one day and started watching your videos. You are so fun and vibrant, despite your brain's greyscale issues. You remind me of a good friend of mine who passed away a few years back. You look and act just like her. This was very powerful and inspiring. I just want to say that you make a difference and I hope that means something to you. Don't waste it. You are incredible. You are insecure. You are human. Keep inspiring.
I turned 20 recently 10th April to be exact hahaa. i Felt exact same panic that oh gosh i'm not a teen i'm an adult lol... R.I.P Ukulele Glad you had a nice birthday and such a sweet tatoo!
Dodie Clark I love you so damn much. Believe me I know that depression is not an easy thing to deal with, let alone come out of. I just wanted to let you know that you are a beautiful, successful and original you, and that's what's brilliant. As you say, people may get off your bus, but just by looking at the comments you can tell that there are many people that never will. Candice and BriBry are such lovely people and I'm sure they will love you forever more.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter if you see it or not, your bus will always be full of people prepared to paint your world in vibrant, beautiful colour once again <3333
to this day i still cry watching this video just cauz i relate to a few things in it ily dodie <3 (also i would like to apologise for dublin...... i was one of the screaming people.... I KEPT TELLING PEOPLE TO BE QUIET THOUGH SO I COULD HEAR YOU!!!) So i guess i kinda helped??? :'D ino this was from may like last year but when i went to the concert i felt like i was in one big family because everyone one was so lovely and kinda help me forget about a few things that still kinda 'haunt' me today if youd say that. so thank you (and bry + candice) for everything because if it wasnt for yous i wouldnt have found the best friends i could possibly have! lol cya at sitc 2016 ;D
I literally let out so many tears watching this, good ones and bad ones. What you've said in this video is completely relatable to me and probably many others. & Life sometimes (although great and wondrous and exciting) just doesn't seem happy or right or anything at all, but sometimes you get those days that push you forward and make you stronger. & dodie, just to add, you are such an inspiration and the amazing things you do make you so strong and courageous. Gosh if I had to get up on stage dodie I think i'd break down even if just 1 person was in the crowd >.< so yeah umm... I don't know where I was going with this but I wanted to say it. You're not alone. There is always light in the darkness. &btw your London show was fantabulous, Thank you for the experience, I grant myself lucky that I was able to hear and see you in person. c: xx
I'm still crying and I watched this an hour ago. I get the bus metaphor Dodie I ride on the damn thing every day. I have a great life I know this but all I ever feel is shit so I spend a lot of time trying to make others happy here and on my social media stuff. I have clinical depression, if you even think you have depression go and talk to someone. Talk to a school counselor, a doctor, a minister, whoever you trust. It will help I promise. TTFN. Oh Thanks Dodie now I really, really, really like you.
As a fellow, but also younger performer who has social anxiety lol. This video meant so much to me, especially considering that loads of people think performers can't be anxious, but it's different. You're an entirely different on stage (or in front of a camera) Needless to say. I love you. You're great. Thanks for making this.
depression is the worse thing thats happened to me but recovery and seeing the colour back in my life is hands down the best decision i have ever made! x
that burger thing was a very good analogy. On my birthday I had a lot of...anxiety I guess which was a little bit new to me because i'd never had anything that bad. I would just have small waves of shakiness and my face getting really red and it being a little hard to breath on tests and when I was worried about something big and intense. But from when the day started I just felt like I was out of it and I was living through everything but their was a big foggy bubble excluding me out. A lot of people were wishing my a happy birthday and my whole english class even sung to me even though all of them really didn't know who I was. Then all of my amazing friends decorated my locker to the most extravagant thing ever. But then i just felt so isolated and out of it, not to mention I was really shaky and just kind of scared all day. When I told my mom about this she really didn't understand why it affected me so much. I loved that everyone cared about me and was so nice but I would have been fine with one little happy birthday from my closest friends and then have the day go on normally. It was just very overwhelming because this year is my first at a new, really big school and I just wanted people to forget I existed for a little bit so it could go back to normal. I just wanted to be alone. I'm not sure I really understood what happened either because everything was so nice but I just wanted no part of it. Does anyone know what this means?
It's so, so lovely to see someone who understands what it's like. Obviously, everyone's experience of depression/mental illness is different, but I could relate to this video so, so much and I am so happy you uploaded this. I'm not very good with words and I know I don't know you in real life, I can only see the side of you that you choose to show the internet, but this video gave me so much hope for the future, especially considering this is exam period (in my final year of sixth form). You are truly a sweet, amazing person and you just made me so, so happy. I hope you stay happy as well, you really deserve it. So much love for you right now, Dodie <3
I don't know what to say... I can't tell you I know exactly what you mean and be all #relatable because fuck I'm not you, I don't have a huge fan base and all of this pressure to be amazing. I want to tell you that you are amazing, I don't even know whether that will help or add to the pressure or just blow over your head like 'meh'. But I feel like I should end this with a metaphor though, one that my Fairy Godmother Sally told me when I was suffering. When eating and elephant, do it in small chunks. Just do it one step at a time. Some days you won't be able to eat a whole lot, and that's okay. Some days you'll feel like eating more than you should, and that's okay too. Eat the elephant however you feel fit, don't worry about what other people think of you, they're not you, and they're living their life in their own way just like you are.
P.s. I'm actually a vegetarian so please don't eat an elephant.
I don't really have a way with words and I find it really hard to express myself in english, but I'll try. Dodie, You are so special. You are my favourite person on youtube and I know I don't really know you or have spoken to you directly , we're like a shitload of miles away but you give my life so much colour. Depression is hard to define but you expressed it perfectly. Just this big black hole inside of you that you try to ignore because your life is fine as it is but really you don't see it and everyone's happy and cheerful and no one understands. But you do, and you make it so much better and much less darker. Your videos give me so much hope, and I'm so glad you're feeling better because you deserve all the happiness in the world. So so much. Don't ever think otherwise and remember all the people who love you and are here for you. Thanks for making my hamburger a little bit tastier. love you.
This is brave of you to talk about dodie. It's so important for people to talk about this topic and I'm so pleased that you're talking about it. Your explanation of depression at the end was perfect. Thank you, I'm sure this will help so many! Keep fighting, your days will get brighter and stay brighter!
Dodie thank you for this video. I really relate to what you're going through and I'm in a big deep dark hole right now. But this video has made me feel a bit better knowing I'm not alone in this blank tasteless world. You're really brave and strong for telling all of us what you're going through and it gives me hope. maybe I'll be able to get over the fear of telling others about this hole I'm in and being abandoned . You really do touch peoples lives with your words and songs and I want you to know that you are amazing and I love you. You are truly inspiring
That bus metaphor fits my life perfectly right now. All my life my bus has been empty and sad then one day, not that long ago, it suddenly started to fill and it was happy and everything was good. But now everyone is getting of the bus and those who are still on it are only on it when it suits them. My bus is never good enough for them. The few months where people were riding my bus were the happiest months of my life.
you just made me cry. I recently turned 20 and lets say my birthday was a mess. Not that it couldn't have been good there were people who wanted to spend time with me and everthing but at some point i just kind of snaped and everything went downhill. I came home and as soon as the door shut i startet crying not knowing why. Thank you for talking openly and beeing so cute :) and also excuse my shitty english
this video,I cannot describe my feelings towards it. I have these phases of where I feel just empty,grey and just empty. and I find myself sitting or walking through the school corridors for example,completely blank. I'm not happy and I'm not sad I'm just,empty. and at the moment I'm happy,and I'm scared these empty feelings will come back. but I come poetry relate to the bus analogy oh my goodness I relate to it so much to it. I cried at the end of this video,it was so so true and ah I can't.
You are such a refreshment in my life right now I know that sounds a little wacky and I'm not quite sure why I used that word but you are. I'm dealing with people in my life who I have loved trusted and built friendships with who are now feeling far away and fake the best way I could describe it...is all of the ppl I felt knew me and I thought were my best friends now feel like first level strangers. And you have this utmost realness to you that can only be described as refreshing. Thank you for making me feel very much not alone:) you bring a greatness to YouTube that seemed unattainable.
I'm gonna be honest, I don't really comment on youtube videos ever but this time I had to, this video is possibly the most creative, honest and beautiful film I have seen on this sight, videos like this are the reason that I still have hope for this website, the internet really can provide people with beautiful things and dodie, your creativity and the work that went into this is inspiring, thank you for always trying. x
I feel like I may have depression. Recently I just feel like when I look back on things, I can't think of anything happy. I feel like every day is just trying to make it to the next one without an emotional breakdown. It's gotten to the point where there are only 2 people I actually like to be around and even then if I had to choose between them and watching youtube videos all day, I would probably pick youtube. I honestly think I have some kind of mental disability but when I talk to my parents about getting help they say "Aww you're fine...
I know this comment is kinda old and you might be all better now or whatever but I just wanted to say 12 year old me could totally relate to you. I just want to tell you something that I really wish I could tell 12 year old me. Talk to someone about your feelings. They may not be exactly depression but whatever they are they're valid and they mean something. Talk to your friends and let them know how you're doing. Keeping things inside isn't good. Your mental health is super duper important. Hang in there. I know it doesn't seem like it but it gets better. Anyway, there's your random piece of advice from this stranger on the Internet. You are loved and you deserve to be happy :)
Thanks so much it really means a lot. Honestlyy life feels like a train wreck right now but honestly I've just been looking forward and hoping for the best. :D Thanks stranger on the Internet.
+Bella Loperena Hey. So I don't know if that will help you in any way but I just wanted to remind you you are beautiful and you'll get through this. Stay strong, you ARE loved. :)
I think you are one of the most inspirational people I have ever seen. This video alone has helped me, with its 'awful' metaphors and bouncy castles. For a long time, I didn't really feel like doing things, no matter how fun they sounded. This video has made me both say yes to more things and know that I'm not going to feel completely better after one attempt. It's amazing how one video has made me feel like this, because there was a point when I didn't think anything could make me feel better.
I enjoy when people can words especially when they are so poetically and beautifully said and written. Even more so I enjoy that the words resonate so deeply in my mind/soul. Even if I find myself unable to verbalize or explain my situation, hearing yours is so nice and comforting. It makes me feel like feeling like this (or not feeling) is legitimate and more importantly, okay. Thank you for existing and blessing the world of me and others with your internet/tangible presence.
Its 12 at night and I have school tomorrow but watching this video was so worth it! I've been in a dark place the past couple months because someone I knew for years and who I cared about deeply decided to hop off my bus but then come back and leave again. He played mind games and left me feeling useless and worthless. I was so used to crying myself to sleep it felt unnatural not to but recently I've been feeling better and the other day I found myself crying because I was so happy. Just genuinely happy. A Couple of months ago I would have never believed that I would be out of the dark hole but I am! It takes awhile but you get there in the end! Thank you for posting this video! It helped me realize that we're not alone, I love you and your music and just everything! Thank you for being you :)
A lot of the time it feels like I am riding that bus alone too and I've felt that most of my teenage life, but I'm trying to be more open and to allow things to run unplanned - I am not a spontaneous person at all. It's hard to try and fix yourself when what caused the fear and pain was my mind's way of protecting myself, but these past few days something has clicked inside of me and I have managed to avoid massive panic attacks which allowed me to experience the world a little differently. And I am massively proud of myself. I think it's hella cool that you were so open in this video because it's nothing anyone should be ashamed about. From great heights one must fall but when you begin to get better you become so much stronger. x
JESUS CHRIST when the sad piano music started playing and you started explaining how your brain hasn't been working properly and when the depression hits you and you start crying it made me start crying too DAMNIT. I love you so so much dodie and it physically pains me to see you be immensely depressed and sad i wish it would just go away damnit you don't deserve any of this i wish you the best and i really REALLY more than anything want you to feel that genuine happiness all the time D: xxxx
It's amazing how young are you and still have that vision for life(not only your great methaphors :D I love your videos on sexuality for example and your song 'paint', that clearly shows how u feel about make up). I found your chanel and that video a month ago, no I watch that video again because it's brilliant. I cried, because I feel your pain. It feels like so many people are depressed that sometimes I sit in my room and wonder what is wrong, am I wrong? I think "what if it's your imagination" but I realize-there is no imagination its all real. Worst of all u can't know what it is. It's just grey, and not 50 shades of grey-simply one stupid shade that makes your heart and your brain hurt. I t's not even pain. It's like a big mash-up of guilt, sadness and insecurity, and rearly you have those days when you feel happy, Your vids really helped to find a new view of life, one really close to mine. One that made me feel normal, because, honestly I often asked myself if i was crazy... I loe your original songs, I love your covers. I love it all. Thank you for everything. You are one truely inspiring person! <3
Damn, girl. Might have to file this video in with Allie Brosh's comics. Hopefully your brain has caught up to the fact that good Dodies shouldn't feel bad.
I relate a lot to your video and the bus and burger metaphors. I hope this doesn't sound rude, but it's kind of comforting to have someone I look up to, to be able to indirectly help me with this situation, because they've been through it. And ever though you don't know me, and you probably never will, I want to thank you for being one of the rings on my small ladder, and for being on my bus, even if you're not aware of it. And I hope to one day have friends as amazing as yours. Thankyou for everything Dodie.
Last year my depression was really bad. I couldn't really feel happy anymore, and that caused social anxiety cause I didn't know how to hang out with my friends. Then one day it was my friend's birthday party and I had to go even though I didn't want to, and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
It was a turning point for me? I felt happy again. It wasn't that everything was magically better, but it made me realize that I could be happy.
I'm so sorry for what you've been going through, but I'm glad you're finding your little moments of happiness :)
I truly hope you have a long and happy life. I hope i have one too. But i might not live for so long since i have diabetes. I am very young but i am in pain mentally and physically. You help me get through it all. You are a wonderful person. I hope one day i get ti meet you in person. That would be a dream come true. Please respond back. My name is Michelle (:
Ok so I haven't had depression but like most people, I've had them days where the burger is no where near as tasty as it should be, and the days where the bus feels empty now and then (I love these metaphors, I've never heard any as understandable and #relatable before). Luckily, I've always found the ladder quickly. But this video is so lovely to know your experiences and also to be aware of that if it ever did happen, I'm not alone.
This video made be tear up so bad (at college too!!) and in parts it was sad tears because no one should have to feel that way and it should always be the best burger ever and a bus full of the best people ever, but sometimes it just isn't and its heartbreaking to see you, someone I admire and love so much, to go through this - its what make us all human I suppose. BUT there were happy tears because you are climbing that ladder and god damn I know you'll reach the top!! You are surrounded by so many lovely people that will help and support you and love you so much and I hope they continue to do that for you. I hope you're reaching the stage that every burger is the best burger ever, and that the bus is full but only of the people you truly want in your life that will always be there for you when the burger loses its taste now and then.
BASICALLY, this video was brilliant and I love it when you're your self and with the people are truly a blessing to you. I love you lots and lots, thank you for everything, and here for you <333333
p.s #chibby is the best ship ever and thank you for being the reason i talk to so many wonderful people online including them xoxoxoxox
I can relate so much to this video 💜 The metaphors weren't crap you summed it up just perfect I love you dodie and I love this video I apologise for the loudness at the Dublin gig my ear drums were sore too 😂 I spent most of my time thinking Shh I can't hear Dodie 😂 Hope you liked your chipsticks I loved meeting you for the second time and not crying like a complete spanner this time 😁 I will forever be on your bus and follow you on your journey
I listened to a poem on someone who loved their friend and the friend was suicidal. I started to cry because its so hard to not want to hurt anyone but you feel so stuck, and you know it will get better, but it will be a while, like YEARS until it will DEFINITELY be better. And I know that it may be sooner than that but its too blurry to know. I love you so much and I'm sorry that mental illness has to be such a bitch!! I have anxiety and I know you posted this video a LONG time ago and you probably won't see this but you help me with your songs and covers and videos in general, so...thanks :)
Dodie, this video was absolutely brilliant. Seriously it's rare to find someone with such a perfect way of describing mental health issues and everything there just struck a chord with me and how I've been the last few months. Seriously proud of you girl and it's lovely to see you slow making your way out of it. There's nothing like it when you start to taste the burger again ;) I wish you all the luck and love I can offer xx
I know you put this out a couple of months ago but I haven't watch it till now, sorryyyy. But thank you, the metaphor you said about the burger, is so completely right. I have felt like complete shit for a couple of years now and it will be an amazing day and it's so great but it just feels so bleak, all grey and crappy and I don't know and I've never understood it I've just thought, "well I'm a weirdo why don't you feel so bloody pumped in this moment". I don't want to claim I have something without diagnosis from a professional but I have felt depressed for the last few years of my life and i haven't particularly told anyone. Well I did, I told my mum this one evening when I was a bit upset but she totally disregarded it and nothing more has happened since. I want to go sort out what's wrong with me and seek proper help but I haven't the guts, I thought by telling my mum she might do something so I could go to the doctors and talk things over to find out what's really wrong with me.
+The FaultInOur_Wifi_ It's so sad that you had to defend yourself in this comment bc you're not diagnosed, that you have to fear people won't believe you. But you don't have to defend your feelings as if they aren't real when they aren't written on a paper by some doctor. Just wanted to tell you you are not alone and that you are worth it. Stay strong x
I have felt nothing for... Well, for a while now. I have temporary bursts of happiness, but mostly I feel as if someone has turned off the lights in a big room, and taken the light switch away. It's horrible. But I'm trying to find my own sources of light. Thank you for giving me my temporary bursts of Happiness these past few weeks, I'm waiting for the day I get my true happiness <3
If this video was just a big metaphor, it would be a fucking brilliant metaphor that shows people what life is like. I'm so happy you made this. Too many more bus journeys to come, stay yourself because that's the best you can be :) ( that was cringey soz )
Omg i LOVE LOVE YOUR CHANNELS so much u are like my favorite you tuber ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! UR SONG paint is dah bom. And i just sub today and how do u send letters. THXS SO MUCH FOR BEING A YOUTUBER UR AMAZING
I can totally relate to the burger metaphor... Cause there are like days that are special and great and are supposed to be the best days of my life but I don't enjoy them even if I really try and I really want to but I just don't. But then there are days in which nothing extraordinary happens, it's all the same with the same people and well.. A day like every other, but most of the time days like that end up being like the best days of my life. I don't know why because when I look back to all the joy and fun I had on those days I keep wondering "why was did day so great because.. Nothing extraordinary or special happened?" It's not that I'm complaining but I'm saying that you can find joy in every single day. When you wake up maybe you will have no idea that at the end of that same day you will find yourself smiling and not wanting it to end. I don't even know where I want to get by saying all this soo.. But hey maybe tomorrow could be the best day of ur life who knows
wow i'm just sat here crying now because for the past year or so my bus has been empty. I'm trying to see my life in a better light but its hard when you feel nothing. Maybe i should talk to someone.
i'm in tears right now but okay I know you wont see this because well this is just about 7 months late,., anyways a friend told me about your channel a few weeks ago and I only just started watching you yesterday morning ive been watching so many of your videos (honestly too many I need to chill its been 6 hours) and you seem like such an AMAZING person and you're just wonderful from the way you carry yourself to the way you treat other people, your music is incredible and yeah okay I'm notorious for not being able "to English" and I just kind of suck at wording things in general basically thank you for being dodie and for being a role model to so many people :')
I think all the colour analogies you make are really accurate. Like I've been struggling with depression for about 5 years now, and more recently I'm at a point where everything is just grey. Like from the age of about 15 to like 18 things were like black. And now things are grey. Like I'm not crying all the time or suicidal like I used to be, but I just feel really grey. Like I'm just existing not living. I just really want some bloody colour. Like, don't get me wrong, sometimes I do have colour. Sometime's I'll go like months and everything will be really colourful. But at the moment it's just really grey
I love you and your videos so much ugh I want to be your friend so bad and you were so so lovely when I met you in Birmingham and argh what is this madness
depression suckssss, for me it's like being happy for a while, then suddenly being sad and not really understanding why i'm sad or how to be happy again. but beep beep, can I get on your bus. let's be friends.
Please never forget that your bus will never BE empty, you have lots of people in your life that love you and would do anything to make you feel better, you are loved :)
This was really inspiring, my bus is constantly stopping to let people on and off all the time. There's not many people that have stayed since they first got on, even if some of those who joined me are still there now, there has probably been periods where they got off. And that's sad because it's easy for them to just get off. I have been battling depression tonnes, and I find that the people on the bus don't really understand the route my bus has taken. Ugh life
Dodie you seem to be a really positive person and I'm sad that you have to go through this alone and that you couldn't enjoy all the experiencies you lived. I literally cried when I saw the ukelele destroyed, I can imagine how much it mean to you. You are so inspiring, you are the one that encouraged me to start my channel and to follow my passion when everyone said to me that I shouldn't do it. I hope that you feel better know and that the bus is full of loving people. Remember that nobody has to go through difficult times alone. I love you so so much!
Hey, you probably wont see this now since this is kind of an old video, but thank you so much for sharing this. I have been feeling so bad and the people around me either dont understand it or are too wrapped up in their own lives to see how awful i'm doing. This video however made me feel better about it like, even though i might feel like crap, i'm not the only one. Also like the fact that you, an amazing person as far as im concerned, have felt this way, makes me feel slightly less crappy? Like i wish you didnt have to deal with it at all, but it does make me feel better :/. So thanks for sharing this :)
Dodie I don't know if you will see this or not but even if you don't this couldn't have helped more I stumbled across this at the right time at uni and I get stressed and panic and really struggle at times today major deadline day and just don't cope very well and I guess I do have good days and bad day but it is videos like this that I'm not on my own that really help get through the rough
Dodie we are all on your bus. You will need a forklift to get me off your bus. I seriously love you because it sometimes felt like you were on the only person on my bus but now I have a full bus and I have to give you credit for it. Metaphors so many metaphors. Is it bad to say this feels like The Fault In Our Stars xxxxx
do you say hello to people at every show? im most likely coming to see you guys at sydney in June and im really excited but im not sure what to expect.
I want to get on your bus but unfortunately I'm too far away and even online I'm always so awkward and at a lost for words 😬 This video taught me a lot and YOU've taught me a lot so thank you for inspiring me to keep on playing the uke (I play guitar and piano like you too hehe) I love you and wish you all the best in the future. You're a young adult now, you've got so much time to experience more, yet you're at the age where you already know a lot and you can do anything you want, so go for it. Wishing you all the happiness in the world xx <3 :)
dodie i cannot begin to describe how much you have influenced me. i connect with you in a way that someone should connect with a best friend or a sibling even though we have not properly met. i have suffered from brain issues as well such as migraines, memory issues, mental issues in my brain (depression, anxiety, and panic attacks and stuff) and you truly help me. to calm myself from panic attack i love to listen to your soothing songs (vie en rose, pas de deux, riptide cover, etc.) bc it calms me. (trigger warning-ish) ive suffered from self harm and you have helped me conquer that and be stronger. youre so intelligent, kind, and funny. you inspire me with your vlogs and main channel uploads and i love it. you fill up this whole in my heart and i can never thank you enough. you've inspired me to be a better version of me; to try harder and reach a little higher in life. you've introduced me to music and i love to write music and sing now and i want to be a performer when i grow up. its far fetched but i want to dream big like you have. one day i want to upload covers and reach for the things i want. i want to be happy and care free, i want to be what you've inspired me to start becoming. i love you and you're videos very very much. thank you, love. xx
Where to start ... This Veda is incredible. I mean it's so unique but I understand completely because at 17 I have been on that exact bus. I I can't say i know exactly how you are feeling however I know that feeling and it really isn't nice. Many people have left my bus and I realised that depression will always brake things however it can also make you that little bit stronger. Dancing has kept me going all this years and it there so when do I do feel like this I can take my emotions and I can make one giant routine however I want to whatever music and dance like no one is watching because you just need to have that one thing in life that is there for you. You are so inspirational and you should be extremely proud, because being able to put out a video like that takes courage I know as I've tried but I have never seen some one as determined and outgoing as yourself :) your bus ride will get better, it just takes time !!!!!! Xxxxx hope this helps ( not so great at advice XD)
1. You are so wonderful. 2. This video was beautiful 3. That hamburger metaphor perfectly describes the past two years of my life. 4. The people in the comments of your videos are so lovely which is probably because you attract other intelligent, lovely people. 5. Remember that even though we don't really know you, humans kind of have an intuition, and I can honestly tell you that you are an amazing human being who is very special and creates things that genuinely matter.
Dodie Clark I couldn't be more proud of you for making this. Mental health isn't an easy topic to talk about especially with all the stigma, but I'm really glad you're being open and honest.
hopefully everyone watching this will have the courage to remain strong. we will definitely continue to support you not matter what.
also you've explained it all perfectly with the bus and burger metaphors
Everybody probably thinks I'm just some 12 year old who is over exaggerating but this single video has changed my life for the better. It has made me think the i can have a happy life and i can be what i want to be and nobody can stop me. To be honest for the first tim in about 5 years i feel actually under control of myself, Thank you.
lmao, I was just watching this video and I noticed that when you were climbing that bed that that's the same hotel that I've stayed in. At least I think lol. It looks so similair. (mine was in New Castle lol) Okay this is random. Love your video's btw <33
o.o...Just wow. You opened up to such an incredible degree, so I'm gonna open up a little bit. I used to have manic depression (self-diagnosed, but only in the last several years. In other words, it took me decades to make new realizations about this). You may or may not have manic depression. Hell, I don't even know what the "current" label for it is. Try to remember that there might not be any external forces making you depressed. In other words, it's your own brain. I don't know how people feel about saying that it is an imbalance of certain brain chemicals, but that's what it is sometimes. Awareness is a good first step. It's just some brain cells in rebellion making a fuss with some chemicals. Part of me believes in feeling your feelings, don't try to shut them off or deny them. On the other hand, being aware can change how they affect you, kinda put the brakes on them somewhat. I myself slowly grew out of my manic depression over decades. The manic highs were like seeing in color when everyone else sees in black and white. How do you explain color to a person born blind? Honestly, it's going to sound weird, but I dearly miss those manic highs. One thing to keep in mind: the peaks lead to valleys, and the valleys lead to peaks. You might not have manic depression, but I hope this helps.
Aww, Dodie... You don't know me and you probably never will. We've met before (at Hedy's old shool and on the first day of comic con) I'll be the girl on the bus in the corner you never notice but will always be there. Mega feels watching this, I love you Dodie, you're the best and you will always have fans like us that will continue to support you through the shadows of our rooms even if it seems like we aren't there.
I am the 1000th comment... Don't know why I wanted you to know that, but it looks like a nice number :) I love you Dodie... This video was so full of feelings and I have felt it, I know what you mean, cuz I am suffering from this blank feeling these days, it has been for couple of years tbh, but I want to happy, I want to feel that I have some people who are setting next to me in my bus. I wish you happiness and I wish I'll be like you one day :) Lots of love xx
Yo about Dublin, you should just go to a concert in Dublin and experience being in the crowd because I don't know what it is but like EVERY concert is always like that everyone's always hyped idk what it is?? Sorry if we freaked you out though!! you were fab and it was lovely meeting you again !
Dodie, I'm not sure how much this will mean as personally others trying to sympathize with me works either really wonderfully, or really terribly, but hopefully you understand what I mean when I say I understand some of what you're dealing with. You are an absolutely brilliant person. I've been subscribed to your channel for quite some time now, and you're one of the few people that I watch on a regular basis. I absolutely adore you, your music, style, and essentially everything else that is so simply YOU. I am so beyond glad that you've started feeling better, and I hope you continue to feel better!!! You've helped me so much in regards to all my silly luggage, and I can't express that enough. Stay adorable, mkay?:)
The worst is when you know it'll coming back. And then it comes back and you try to ignore it, but it doesn't work... aw. But I try my best to live! :)
Hellooo Hiyaaa yup I felt like I should leave a comment because I may have possibly cried lolwat I am super glad we are becoming friends and stuff it is super great and I am glad you were able to enjoy that day I hope that you are starting to feel better and stuff but yeah that day was sossososo good and needs to happen again ok I shall stop now hopefully seen you soon yup love you byee <3 xxx
ps burger description was very super good amazing way to describe it to people
you're such a cute! and i love how inteligent you're aaaaahhh marry meee.i am sorry abouth that your ukulele..died and all this stuff what happend to you..but MARRY ME ANYWAY bigUp from Czech :)
Your welcome for being on the bus that everyone else is on, enjoy the ride, admire the view @)----- smell a rose, and have fun. One question.. am i correct on the fact that your best day ended in south bank Australia? #ilovebrisbane
The bus metaphor is the thing that hit me the most. I isolate myself from people and I always have since my dad abandoned me and my family. My bus is the school bus no one wants to get on because they know the hell that bus will take you to but there are those few people who are excited for the journey of that bus not the destination. Many people have not even tried to get on my bus, some people have got on the bus but then I sit next to them and we talk through half of the journey and all of a sudden there's a pothole in the road and people run scared but there's those kind, loyal people who stay on the bus just to see where it takes them. I feel like my bus has been empty for a long time with me just sitting in the back seat but maybe I just need to jump into the drivers seat and let my bus fill up and not care who gets off but care about who stays on. Ly Dodie ❤️
I am not a person to cry. But Dodie, this video has made me cry harder than I have cried in years. It pains me to see such wonderful people go through things like this. I guess the reason this video made me so sad is that I relate to it so badly. I got diagnosed with depression when I was 13. I had no clue what depression was, but apparently I had it. Then I got the answer to why I´d been feeling like hell for most of my life. I´m still convinced I grew up too fast, I never felt like I had a childhood. From the very beginning, all I´ve been doing is worrying, and holding things in. A year ago I told myself I´d beaten depression, it was out of my life and it wasn´t coming back. Oh god I was wrong. For a few months now something has been wrong, with both me and my mindset, and it wasn´t until now I realised why. I just feel so lost. I´m lost in a city filled with my demons. I can´t move out before I´m done with my education. That´s five more years of this dreaded place. As I said when I hit my lowest point, I can´t recover in a city filled with memories. Wherever I go my past is there to haunt me. I feel like I am trapped in a box filled with my demons, and there´s no way out. Gosh I´m so sorry, this comment wasn´t even supposed to be about me. Here I was trying to write something about you, Dodie, about how you are one of the strongest and most inspiring people I know about, and it turned in to a huge "woe is me" rant. I´m sorry. I wish you the best of luck and happiness. Dodie, you deserve nothing but the best. I hope you´ll never forget that if you ever feel lost, you have countless friends (and strangers on the internet, like me) to turn to. They will, without a doubt, listen to you, and be a shoulder to cry on. You´re never alone.
Okay so usually I don't write really long comments or comment in general because it can be bleh but there is one thing that I did make up a while back. It was a situation where I nearly lost a friend. At the moment I was in extreme panic and it to all I had in my body to say everything I could but let me get on with it. So let's say the situation or life itself is like a rope of some kind. The rope is tied to the knob of this sealed door. At the moment it can't be opened when your far away. But that's when you grab on to make your first pull. Along the way you get rope burns and sometimes it will get tiring. And that still means your allowed to give yourself a break, but it's important not to let go of the rope. There is always something or someone, (possibly a friendly ghost lol) that's behind you, and it can or cannot be noticeable but it's there. Continuously climbing at your own pace on this rope you can start to notice that the door is unlatching. The minute you notice that it is should at least bring up your strength on that rope. Eventually, you'll get to that door. How you interpret your opening is up to you, but it will definitely be something fresh. Sorry this is length for a semi old video. But I thought it could be helpful and I certainly hope it does seem helpful. One more thing: there is this random quote I found that definitely adds up to all of this "your current situation is not your final destination".
i feel like my bus is filled with ghosts, people whom i know are there for me, but i can't seem to reach them. (continuing with the metaphors) idk lately i've just felt like life is moving too fast and i can't keep up with anything. there's bursts of colour in some days, but in others i feel so grey and black, but i feel an obligation towards the people i'm with, that i have to act happy and be funny. thank u for showing me that it's possible to feel grey in moments where u 'should' feel colours. i thought i was the only one (which sounds silly, i know). i'm so so glad that u are on the road of feeling better with your bus full of people, love u ♥
Dear Dodie, I know it sucks because I've been there, but I also know how good it feels when you've overcome it and you start feeling good again. Just think about how many people stop their lives for a few minutes to watch your videos, and you're having an impact in all of our lives and we're learning things from you and it's good, it's so good because we (or at least I) don't see you as someone above us, you're more like a friend, and it's great! You're the kind of people I'd love to hang out with! Also, your hair looks amazing, really really amazing!
sorry to hear about Dublin.... i wasnt there, but i know irish people can be really overwhelming. i think we are generally a pretty loud, boistrous people. i hope it wasnt unpleasant for you <3 ily
I have depression and I've been sectioned (section 3) so I'm currently in a adolescent psychiatric unit :( it's shit, I'm here because I tried to kill myself 3 times in a month, two large overdoses and then I went to a multi storey car park and was sat on the edge but police came and grabbed me :( I've been here for 3 months and I have 3 more months until my section ends, but even then I might not be discharged! I'm in a unit in Cambridge but I live in Bournemouth so it's 5/6 hours away. it's such a horrible environment being in a unit, because how can i get better when I'm surrounded by mentally ill people who are (unintentionally) triggering and horrible 😓 I just want to get out lmao but there's no chance of that for another 3 months
+Laura Davies Hey i know my words cant change anything for you but I just thought you should know that right now just this second im giving you a bit of my strength so that maybe you can get out of there faster...
my bus feels a bit pointless rn, their's maybe only 3 people on it and no one's sitting beside me. i hope more people get on your bus and only the bad leave. i imagine your bus has a floor that's covered in cushions and everyone sings softly and have heart to hearts. i want to be on that floor of your bus so bad!! and it's white covered in coloured polka dot (sorta like the the plane on come outside lol (i think my bus might actually be a plane; no one can get on bc it's thousands of feet away from people 😕)) i hope you continue getting better, you seem like a lovely, wonderful person!! 💕💗💓
how do people with depression live. seriously everyone who has a mental illness should get a pestigious award or something. I have mild to moderate depression, anxiety, bipolar, and I don't even shower, brush my teeth, or really take care of myself at all. I can not imagine what it is like to have a severe mental illness. my tip: force yourself to be around good people.
wow. I have felt like my bus was empty for so long because why let people on when you know they're going to get off again? why would they want to stay on a cold, sad, grey bus when they cold be on a warm, happy, colourful bus? I have felt like shit for the past year or two and this week hasn't been great and this day was pretty horrible but I knew you could cheer me up while I was crying. for years I have felt like no one understood me and that i was completely alone in my cold, sad cave but after watching this video i'm starting to think maybe someone does understand, maybe i'm not alone and maybe I should let people on my bus if they want. I want to thank you dodie, for making me feel better and brightening my day and just being you, I love you so much <3 i'm gonna leave now because this is too cheesy
It's always hard to say goodbye to people who leave the bus... Sometimes it does feel like the bus is empty. I think it's a great metaphor! And good things don't taste as good as they should, sometimes. But even though the bus might seem empty, I've learned that people can seem invisible to you, but that they're actually still there. Okay, some people really leave one way or the other, and don't come back. But some of them are only hiding behind a corner. :) I know that when I feel bad and I actually really need a hug from a friend, I try not to bother anyone with it, I keep it to myself. Which is stupid, of course, but it's something that comes naturally. But friends do not KNOW you need them if you don't tell them. They might not have a clue that you feel sad, if you keep hiding it away and don't let it show. And only if they know, they can give you that much needed HUG and make you feel better. :) I don't say it's easy and I know it's a cliché but asking for help or talking about things can make your heart and head feel lighter. And most importantly it makes you realise that the bus is NOT empty, and friends can appear from behind a corner, who hadn't left you alone in the bus after all. :) Wow this is long haha. You just got me thinking... which is a sign that this was a very good video and I think you're really brave putting it out on the internet like this! I remember when I turned 20 I felt so old, haha. (I'm 21 - and though it's supposed to be a special birthday, turning 20 felt stranger and more important than turning 21 haha) Have a good 21th year, Dodie! Who knows, some more truly happy days might lie ahead! <3 And ps I'm so sorry about your ukelele, that really really sucks... it looked horrible!! Stupid people who drop boxes on instruments! ^£&""@(%$!!!:'(
I feel like maybe I should accept that some people have gotten off my bus and that maybe they'll never buy a ticket again. But I need to stay on the bus to reach my destination. Did that makes sense? It did to me. Idk
Depression sucks so bad dodie i know and on sunday night i stsyed up till 5:45 am because i could not sleep at all but if you can feel better i can too xx
I feel kinda like you but it's not constant. Like I would be fine then I would feel like shit for a few days then I'd be fine again for like a couple days then a few days of shitiness then I'd be fine etc., but it's really annoying and sad and fucking confusing I don't know what I'm feeling half the time and idk. Just wanted to say something. You've really been an inspiration for me, thank you dodie!! :)
Honestly, you've explained this better than ANYONE I've ever heard try to explain it before. It's not easy to just "be happy!" like everyone tells you to and sometimes even something that you logically know should be fun or happy or whatever just ISN'T. I think that's something so many people don't realize when they're trying to dole out advice. I'm so glad that you made this video, and even more glad that you're coming out of the depression pit yourself. x
Dodi this video really touch me because really you are my favorite YouTuber and I love you because you are creative and happy and funny and you give good advice at the end of the video and I sometimes I relate to you and I say you are not alone all of your fans including me love you and if I had munny I would buy lots and lots of ticket to be on the bus with you and even if you don't read this I love you and you're my favorite YouTuber because when I'm BORED or down ill say hey lets see if doddleoddle did a new video and that cheers me up and I got something to say to you keep doing you're videos and you're songs because you are very talented and don't lose hope and yeah love you and have a colorful🌈 , wonderful 😺 and shiny day☀, night🌙, week🌄, year🌅, infinity ⊂x⊃ (I tried to do the infinity sigh but it turned like that.😶😳😏 Oh 🐳)
The bus is empty your on your own the world is gone but the uver part of that metaphor is the bus is never empty and you just have to look to find the others you have a barrier but barriers were meant to be broken and if you look in you will find the way to break that barrier I know how to break mine but I can't, don't do that to your self break free I can see you have the power use it don't give up it will take a long time but to give up will make it harder in the future I Know this and I say this to all with depression good luck to you
It was soo important that someone would say that depression isn't logical. No matter how great your life is, you just can't enjoy it. Once I told someone about my brain and mindset the person was like "don't be silly and stop feeling sorry for yourself, there are people with real problems". I do know that I'm blessed but I can't just stop feeling crappy, it's not that I once said "Hey let's just start having depressed thoughts!" I just feel like people don't understand that a mental disorder is an illness just like any other illness and no one would tell a visibly sick person to stop complaining. so thank you dodie. thank you so much. i really love your videos and your honesty and i think you are just an incredibly cute and lovely person so thank you for this video and just thank you for being you. sorry if i bored anyone reading this, i just needed to get that out.
Thank you for this Dodie, your honesty and bravery is truly admirable. This video was an eye opener, and the first time I've heard what I am feeling put into such accurate words. I'm glad you are feeling better, and I'm grateful to see that there is still hope out there.
This moved me so much. I'm so glad that you are starting to feel better now, Dodie :) You really are such an amazing and inspiring person! I met you ages ago at George Reece's album launch gathering and you are so approachable and cool :) Take care of yourself!
Really really loved this ❤️❤️ The burger metaphor was really great and I love how open you're being! A lot of people will relate to this video, so you might be that little drop of colour for them! 😊 Ps I like the rabbit on your bed 😜
I'm so glad I waited for this, this is honestly one of my favourite videos on YouTube and I know it was probably really hard putting it out there, and I think you're really brave to, I am so glad I waited, it was worth it :)
Just to get this out of the way, I fucking love you. This is the most really and honest video that I have seen yet it meant so much. U are an inspiration with literally everything you do and I just want to thank you for being Dodie <3
ur so amazing dodie. ive had depression for a year now. i thought i was getting better but now im in a slump again. and when youre in a slump, and i slump's not much fun, un-slumping yourself is not easily done. but you have made me remember that you can have good days, and hope and happiness can still be felt, you just have to wait a little while. i wish i could come and meet you in auckland but im not allowed ): so i guess ill have to admire you from a far :) xxxx
I love this video more than any other video on the internet. I can relate so much and I know exactly what you're going through.. I actually shed a little tear towards the end.
Thank you so much for sharing Dodie, your bravery will never be overlooked :) I remember this feeling well, and I think we both know that things are better on the other side of this stupid uphill climb :) Thank you for sharing your story with those that may really need to hear it now :) hugs
I just turned 20 on the 1st of May too and it does feel very weird. I'm glad that you're starting to feel and get better. I got slightly teary at the end I must say. Some people have also got off my bus recently but the ones that have stayed on have been amazing and I've got closer with them. Love you so much. <3
Gods, dodie, this was beautiful. Ive just watched this before i go to the funeral of a close family member, and . . . I can feel the tingles running up and down my spine.
This was so real and so great . . . Im so glad your bus is full now. And im hoping everyone can have people like the ones you've met, and i hope things continue to get better for you. <3
i adore you, dodie. i relate to that description so much, although i have been getting better lately. your videos (and meeting you at playlist definitely made me happy for a while) helped/are helping in getting me through mental illness soo much and distracting me when i need it/can't sleep and stuff. stay strong <3
I really really hope you feel better soon Dodie <3 here's to many more bouncy castle days! You bring so much happiness to your viewers, you deserve to feel that same happiness yourself. Just remember that some of the best days of your life haven't happened yet - so always look forward to the future! It is full of hope 😊 <3
This is beautiful dodie so so beautifully put :') what isn't so beautiful is the fact I am watching this at 2 in the morning being sick...:) but this has brightened me up, thank you so much :D
Dodie, this means a lot because I am kind of going through the same thing and I'm stuck. It's nice to know other people have amazing lives but sometimes just can't appreciate it cause their brain you know is shitty and annoying. This kind of gave me some much needed hope...so thanks I guess <3 -Kay
I have never heard someone describe how I feel so perfectly. The burger metaphor was the perfect explanation to a lot of grey days in my life that I couldn't explain. And the bus one as well. You have so many people on this bus of yours Dodie, and it almost seems ridiculous to feel alone while on it. But I understand completely. Thank you for truthfully sharing your thoughts <3
dodie i love you! i love how honest you are with us. i love how when you find that bit of colour you are so appreciative and i love how you treat your friends and how you treat your viewers. and i love your adorable voice that you say isn't big or special but which we think is absolutely glorious anyway. i love your stupid sense of humour and your lovely sister and the fact that you wanted to share this with us. and i hate the fact that this message sounds like something out of a crappy film but i'm trying to put across how much i appreciate you. this made me cry, but happy tears, because i'm glad that you're feeling better again. thank you for sharing this.
God I needed this, Dodie <3 Thank you for helping even though you didn't know you were, and you probably don't have any ideas on how this helped but just...thank you. Much love xx
awh Dodie im so proud that you made this. i'm glad you're feeling better and i know what its like to be swirling into what feels like a never ending pit of gray. im so glad to have discovered you and i hope one day i get to meet you and tell you how much you've helped me. Thank you Dodie. you are so loved and your bus is overflowing <3
Oh my goodness! Dodie I've only started watching your videos the past few weeks but absolutely love your channel and your songs hit me so hard I really feel them resonate within me. You describe some of my feelings that I can't even put words to. You have a voice like an angel and seem like such a lovely person! This video is another I feel the same way as you sometimes, and it's so hard because knowing you're missing out only makes you feel guilty & worse - it sucks an unbelievable amount :( I'm really really happy to hear that you are finding happy times now and those bouncy castles look AWESOME! Wish we had that sort of thing here!
Sending love and best wishes from little old Perth in Australia:) xx
I honestly started crying at this because it's such a raw and personal video but it was still beautifully made. I'm always impressed with what you put out xx
ah dodie youre such an inspiration! youre one of my favorite youtubers <3 just letting you know that youre amazing and awesome and i know you get told that all the time but still c:
Thankyou. Thankyou so freaking much for summing it all up in such a beautiful and eloquent way. I have felt so completely alone, as though no-body would get how I was feeling at the time, but you have pretty much just described the exact same. This right here is the reason that I love youtube. Reading the tag last night, watching this video now and seeing a range of others and just seeing that people are out there that actually do understand and they can work through it. I'm just rambling now because I have 0 cohesive thoughts so I'm sorry but thank you so much again. I hope you're okay and that I can see you again soon! <3
This video reminds of how much I love just sitting around and having great conversations with people and messing around. Unfortunately that doesn't happen that often but when it does it feels amazing.
This video was the first youtube video I've ever seen where I felt that even though I don't know you, and even though this is just 22 minutes of an entire month of your life, I could feel that you're a real person and not just a face on a screen. Thank you thank you this was the most beautiful touching thing I've ever seen in my life. This video shows how there is always hope in this world, that it's so big and yet the smallest thing can brighten and change your day. Thank you Dodie for sharing this. PS sorry for all the cheese :)
This is an amazing video. It's quite an honest insight into the trials and tribulations of doing something you love. It also shows how genuine you are by being that honest to everyone.
It was devastating to hear the feelings you went through and see the teary-eyed footage but I'm happy to see that you're on the other side of a heavy raincloud.
It was the loveliest thing meeting you after the Dublin gig and having the same high-pitched reaction to seeing each other. I know I may have hopped on the bus only a lil' while ago, but I've got my ticket 'til the last stop. Keep being awesome, Dodie, and keep moving forward. :}
The letter in the description made me tear up a bit. I'm lucky enough to have found my ladder with the help of some amazing people, but that was fairly recently, and one of my biggest fears is finding myself in a cave again.
I'm so pleased you're starting to feel better. I'm proud of you for uploading this and being so frank and open and lovely. Keep looking after yourself, keep creating beautiful things, surround yourself with people you love. Hugs - you are wonderful! <333
This video is one of the best I've seen, and I've seen A LOT. You are amazing Doddie and this video feels so real. It's just like we got to meet you, or meet a part of you we didn't really knew I guess? I love you and you are such an inspiration to me. Keep it up ! Xxx
Oh my goodness Dodie I just read the description and the tears just came right back. Mental health is so confusing and it is so difficult when this happens to someone. Your video has really made me feel like there are more than only one person in the world that are feeling this way. You have helped me so much and I just want you to always feel happy. I know we have never met and probably never will (😞), but I just want you to know something. There are so many people that you have helped, including me, just by sharing your talent and complete amazingness on the Internet. You are such a wonderful person and someone like you should never have to go through this pain. Xoxo
Thank you so much dodie for being apart of my life. I have been subbed 4 only a short while, but it has been so so amazing. You are one of the realist, best youtubers I know and just thank you for letting me be apart of your bus . xxxx
This video was so extremely beautiful, I'm so sorry that you felt so low in the past but you need the low points to appreciate the high points in your life! (I think or maybe that just sounds stupid idk) This video really inspires me to do want I want, no matter what. You're travelling the world with people you love, sharing music and memories with people who adore you and I don't know its just an eye opener that we can really do anything with our lives. Just know whenever you're sad that I'll always be on your bus and a stranger you can rant to (@adambrxwn) if you need to. I love you and your videos and I'm so glad you're feeling better again! <3
Dodie, ever since I started watching your videos, I've thought of you as this wonderful bright, beautiful and inspiring person. The kind of person who is kind and considerate and grasps every moment and cherishes it. Thank you for sharing all you're going through with us, I feel like your bravery inspires me to try and makes me admire you even more. I know how you feel when you say that your brain won't let you be happy, I'm the same, but the moments of happiness when you remember how strong your hope can be or how beautiful a sun-washed field, the sea or the people around you are, it feels worth it. Everyone deserves to be happy and depression can be so consuming but I feel like the silver lining is, when you have joy, it's simple and special and worth every chest pang and tear. P.s. Sorry for being so sappy and cheesy and I'm so glad your life has colour again.
Wonderful video Dodie, I understand what you are going through, and how confusing, hopeless and tiring it can be. I myself have lived with depression and anxiety for most of my life, depression mainly getting worse in the last five years. But, there is hope, and I am getting better. I have started seeing Physiologists and other mental support people, along with this I am now taking medication (as much as it pains me to rely on medication, for me, it works). I have felt like I see the world through a grayscale filter for years, like I am never alive, never awake, only dancing the dance of life as an empty shell, a fake facade. But once again, for the first time in years I am starting to wake up again, remembering that there is happiness, there is life and that I can actually feel things. I find myself appreciating even sad moments, as for so long I have felt nothing.. nothing but fleeting pain.
There is life and there is feeling, there is hope and reason to stay alive. Live, love and do anything that makes you feel good, no matter how small. And maybe just maybe it will light the spark inside you once again.
P.s. You are wonderful, and do wonderful things. You're caring, and you help people with videos like this.. even if it's just one of your songs helping them feel just a little bit of light in the dark.
I'm closing on the last week as a 20 year old and know exactly how you feel. When I turned 20, I went to the roof of one of the building at my university and just kinda cried for a little. The bus metaphor is really a really good one, right now at university it feels like theres a constant shuffling of people getting on and off at different times and with such brevity at times that I haven't been able to describe it fully. There's also a lot more inviting people on and being rejected which is very different. Sometimes it feels like people get on and off so fast and now it's just a game of reminding myself that I'm ok riding the bus alone. It's happened before and I will be ok as long as it keeps moving forward.
Beautiful video. Thank you for sharing your metaphorical bus with us. I'm sure some of this wasn't easy to talk about, but I'm so glad you're starting to feel better!
Its strange to watch this and hear you say this as it feels so close to my own thoughts. Its also so lovely to hear such honesty from you and to hear the truth, which many other youtubers would never share. Im really happy to have you on my bus Dodie and I hope you dont get off any time soon.
Wow Dodie! I'm glad you shared this with us and it has helped me understand depression more. I'm sorry if this is off topic, but are you going to Playlist Live??
Dodie, you are one of my favourite people in the world! I can't explain in such few words but you inspire me to be different and kind and to be myself. I'm glad I stumbled across both of your channels because I literally wouldn't be the person I am today. Thank you for being you and thank you for your brilliant and lovely contribution to this world <3 x
I've literally only known your channel for maybe 4 days now and it has become my favorite channel and I cannot stop listening to your songs so I'm glad you are starting to feel better and hopefully it gets better from here because you deserve to feel happy
Dodie,please when you're on tour again and if you end up in Ireland,allow me to give you the biggest hug ever, I hope your bus picks up the bestest passengers and you have the best time with them :)
Omg this had me in tears I've been feeling like shot recently I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and people just seem to jump in and out of my bus when they want a free ride NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY I WAS TRYING TO BE COOL AND INCORPORATE THE METAPHOR
Dodie, this is amazing. To see you feeling depressed makes me so sad to know there's not a lot I can do. But let me tell you this: you've helped me and many people with depression and anxiety. remember your asmr video? I used to pull all-nighters, even with my meds, because of my anxiety and depression. But since you told your audience about that, it's been wonderful sleeping. I don't know how many times I can thank you on behalf of me and tons of others for helping me through this horrible disorder. I hope you feel better soon, I love you.
Thank you for sharing this Dodie. I can very much relate to how you were feeling on your birthday w/ the burger metaphor (amazing btw). I've been feeling like that for a long time when in situations I should actually be enjoying. It's made me feel a litter better knowing I'm not alone in the way I feel. I'm happy that you are feeling better now. You deserve to be happy ❤ ~ Also I'm 19, turning 20 next year! 😥 I hope this year takes its time! I'm not ready for this lol
This whole video was so full of awesomeness and amazing days and yet you had me crying at the end. You are such a colourful, bubbling person and I'm so sorry you felt grey, sad, tired of everything, alone. I know it's an illness and not necessarily a personal opinion - if that's even the right word for what I mean - but I'm really, really happy you're feeling better and that you know you're not alone. Neither in this state of mind nor on your bus ride. And I'm proud to be a person on this bus, even though I'm way in the background, maybe more of a little bug on one of the windows, sending positive comments. But you'll get through it, and at some point you'll be able to enjoy every single burger again. Love you, okay? xx
Wow, thank you so much Dodie, honestly. Your videos have inspired me so much to just try and get out of bed in the morning and face the day, even when I can't. This year has been especially bad for me, I feel like Ive lost my ability to care, I know that I do, but at the same time I can't and so I just push people away so they dont get sucked down with me. Skipping school, failing exams, it just keeps piling on, the stress, self pity, self hate, everything. But your videos help to lift the burden, even in those minute long clips, you make me feel colour, like you said at the end, and you'll never know how much that means to me. Thank you, you'll always have a seat saved next to me on my bus. <3
I can't tell you how happy I am I randomly came across one of your videos 3 weeks ago. I've barely been watching your videos that long but I know you are an awesome person and you deserve all of your fans. You give me hope whenever you post a video like this so thank you. (:
Dodie, I've watched this video twice now, and it's left me in tears.I've been through similar things. Like while everyone else seems to be having the time if there life, your kind of just sat there thinking "Why is this so amazing? It's kinda cool, but what's the big deal?" For me the worst thing about it all is that, I strive to be independent, and i struggle with trusting people, which makes it really hard to tell the people I love and care about what I feel and what I'm going through. I'm afraid I'll be seen as weak, but I'm slowly beginning to realize, dealing with depression, anxiety, or any mental or physical illness doesn't mean your weak. It's shows you are strong, and that you can keep going. For me, it means that I'm different, in a good way, and that I means that I'll be strong enough to achieve whatever my heart desires. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with me, and I think it's important to remember that. Being different, in my eyes, is amazing and should be embraced. It show you can do something others can't,so just because you're struggling now, doesn't mean your future will be any less bright. ❤
The best times in life is when we don't expect to be happy, but we are. Sometimes it takes nothing at all, from a stranger being the first person to make you smile, to moving to the other planet, anything can make you feel better, and I'm glad something has. You always seem to put on this front of being happy and energetic, even if you're not. You deserve to be happy Dodie, we all want you to be, we love you. And any and all of us will be here by your side, no matter when, where or what, we will be.
Thank you so so so much for this video Dodie. I too have this wall in front of me and I remember around last year I used to look around my wall, and just see pure happiness and friends. But no matter what I did I couldn't pass this wall and I was stuck in sadness and regret. I'm so happy that I've recently jumped over my wall and living my life like I really should. I think I should thank you Dodie for helping and believing in every single one of us no matter if we were across our wall or not. You even helped some of us jump over our walls. Thank you so much, Dodie.
I was keeping myself from crying during the video but when i read the letter in the description i started crying. and thank you dodie, thanks for being so inspiring and putting a smile on my face when i watch your videos and see how beautiful, amazing and talented you are. you are such an inspiration and just a lovely human in general. so thanks for being great. xxxxxxxxx
Now i'm sobbing, thanks. I guess I can say my mind has stopped working too. But at least I can join your bus and meet new people to make me happy. Dodie you make me happy. I barley know you I'm just a screen for you but you make me so happy. Thanks <3
Dodie, I've been following you for about 3 years now, and as someone who suffers from depression myself, I have been able to recognize the journey you've been taking. I have always admired you for videos such as these, and I haven't commented anything about them before, but I feel as though I have to now... You have made me feel not alone. You have made me feel less isolated, because I know that someone else out there thinks and feels such horrible things. These videos help me, they help us, and I hope they help you. Your music is medicine, as are you, even though it's hard to feel like it. We're in this together. Thank you for this. Thank you for being.
This is so nice. I've also struggled with depression, and I could really relate to a lot of this video. I'm so glad you're feeling better, and I'm so proud of you not only for pushing through but also for sharing your story. Even though its a bit cliche "it will get better" is such an important message because even when its back for just a day or even a couple hours it feels (to me) like its always been this way and always will, even though thats just not true. So again, you're so strong and wonderful and I hope your depression stays for a very long time. :)
Can I just say thank you for sharing your life and your thoughts and feelings so openly with basically a bunch of strangers? You didn't need to be so honest, you could have made a video with all the happy bits and pretended everything was perfect, but you didn't, and I really appreciate it.
I completely know the feeling of just not being able to enjoy anything. When I look back on a trip I took with my marching band from earlier this school year I see this great trip that coulda been great but all I feel is sad because I was I such an awful place & bad stuff sorta happened too. I hope you start having more and more days like that colorful one, Dodie. I love you:)
I think a lot of us can speak from experience and remind you that depression comes and goes but I hope that this wave of yours is little and drains away (and stays away!) fast because you seem so lovely and I wish you the upmost happiness <3
@MancIsSo4YearsAgo the depression was a giant wave! like a friggin tsunami! but I think i'm just bobbing along for now and it's quite nice, and hopefully it'll stay :D
This actually made me really excited to see u and Bri when ur in Adelaide next month. And I know from watching evan's vid to bring u some Redskins! Lol
i've been suffering with depression for a while now. there always seems to be this grey cloud over my head that's keeping me from enjoying the sun i see everyone else in. i can't seem to shake the feeling honesty. i really hope one day i'll be happy again.
I'm bipolar. I've been battleling it for more than ten years now, sometime with success, sometime not so much... Your video shows that mental illnesses happen, that they are something to live with both as a daily fight and as a marathon. I think it's really brave of you to speak about it, to aknowledge the akwardness and vulnerability that comes with it, the magic of the beautifull moments of relief. I wish someone would have talked to me about it when i was younger, i would have felt less lonely and weird at times. It is a shattering realisation when you grow up that there is no "grown up" stage, no certainty or clear path to get the sense of. There is just a slow, very slow, construction of a few convictions about what is life, what is love, what is hapiness... A fragile skeleton on which we all try to gather as much sense about life and good people as we can. That's not much string to cling to but i believe it's enough to make of life, if you're brave enough to be true to it, and we all can see that you are. So, thank you and good luck doddie!
first off, thank you and I'm so proud of you I can't even put it into words (like OH MY GOD I feel like your mom I'm just so happy that you are happier and getting happier) second, thank you for this. I may or may not have cried a bit towards the end there, but I totally understood it and what you were saying and the little video clips just got me. thank you for just I don't know.. talking about it and being one of my very favorite people ever in the world.
Words cannot describe how I feel about this video. In April,and even this month, I have been depressed. I'm slowly getting better because I have learned that talking to someone or anything, especially a camera, is the best way for me to feel better. Depression frumping sucks but it's all worth the pain when you finally feel happy again.
I've never met you but you're awesome. And all your fans love you, your videos brighten up my day and you're my favourite Youtuber and if I knew you as a person, probably that too.
Good lord I cried so much in this video I think I've created a new river
And I've decided to name it Dodie's happiness because it was all blocked up with grey sludge and now it flows more freely and the water is clean and fresh and sparkly and there are kind good fish swimming in it.
LOL SO CHEESY IM SORRY I'M JUST REALLY REALLY GLAD YOURE FEELING BETTER LIKE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY GLAD #METAPHORESAREACTUALLYTHENEWBLACK
I haven't watched the video yet, as I know I'll end up in pieces and I have a therapy appointment tomorrow, but thank you for this video Dodie. You are truly wonderful person and I'm so happy that you're beginning to feel good again. My ups and downs are less frequent and the positive thoughts are lasting longer than the bad ones so I think I'm starting to get better too. We've got this; we can all kick depression's arse.
I should be sleeping... but it was worth staying up for to see you happier Dodie. This was such a lovely message, that is so important to share. You are fabby... x
Listening to this while writing a ginormous research paper was not a good idea bc now i'm crying and it's hard to see to type. I hope you're feeling better, Dodie! you deserve the whole entire world. And i would like one ticket for the Dodie bus pls. that sounds like a fun bus ride.
Dodie, firstly you made me cry and I really want to give you a massive cuddle and say that everything will be okay. Thank you for posting this video. You just summed up the feeling I've been trying ti understand and more recently explain for a while. I've watched my little brother struggle with Mental Illness for the past 3 and a half years and have seen him try to end his fight when he's got stuck at the bottom of his hole and he has no sign of a ladder. It's not a nice feeling and its very hard to understand how he feels as I 'm not in his brain. More recently I have been feeling grey too ( I like that metaphor). but I too think I've turned a corner and had my day in the sun and found my rainbow of bright and beautiful colours again.
Mental Illness', Stress, Death, Cancer, and all the things that cause people to be depressed are all completely shit. But knowing that there are people around you that love you, that care about you and that make you properly smile when you can't remember how to really makes a difference.
Thank you for posting this video, I think it is very brave and must have taken a lot for you to share this with the world.
Mental illness and in particular depression are stigmitised and shouldn't be. It's important that people understand what they are feeling is being felt by other people too. Nobody is alone. Nobody is beyond help. Nobody should need to end there fight.
Dodie, this is my favourite video of yours. The piano cover of Adventure Time at the end made me feel extremely emotional and was gorgeously played, and even though I know you can never really love someone you don't know because you don't see the real them, you see what they choose for you to see, I really do feel very strongly for you and I love that you trust us enough to share this with us. It's brave and I'm so happy that you're conquering the wall that for all we know could be weeping with cast off ideas and dreams, but there's always time for a new beginning. You're limitless.
I wish I knew why you never notice me. You're my favourite. I can't hold it against you though. You're full of wonder and you bring light to my life. Good luck in the future.
I'm crying, Dodie you are such a wonderful wonderful person and you are so talented and idk I hope you have a lot more colorful days and also was that a piano version of adventure time at the end?
I get this. Depression has been my life for at least 6 years mind you I'm 16 at the moment. I always liked the rubber band metaphor talking about snapping back and it being worse after being happy. I've had an empty bus for most of my life and now because of high school I finally have some people on my bus and it's scary to have people, most don't get it that someone can get used to being alone but I did and I feel like that's how I'm meant to live. I don't know this got strange quickly anyway I want to say I love this video and I hope we are on each other's busses. I love you I hope to meet you one day ❤️❤️
I didn't know how young you were. Oh my goodness you have so much heart and spirit. I live in a tiny city in the middle of the united states and your life is full of so many adventures.
@Melissa Dudley Should also mention that you're a lovely person, and it's perfectly alright for you to experience times when your brain isn't working. Not that a comment from a random person matters or anything. I just feel love from your feelings and that's why you're so talented and brilliant. <3
right now nobody is really on my bus and the driver seems like a dick, but just watching this, and like, seeing that everything seems to work out in the end gives me so much hope. you might not realise the impact you've had on 17 y/r old boys life, but you've helped. alot. sounds so weird typing this knowing i haven't even spoke to you before and it seems weird to say that only your online persona has helped me through tough times.. its crazy to think you are only 3 years older than me but yet you've helped so many people. I just love this community so much. this probably made no sense, but i had to say something.. so yeah, um, Thank you so much Dodie :')
dodie, dodiedodiedodiedodie....you are amazing and genuine and overall a magical human. i just want to say thanks for everything, and this video along with dotties has made me realize some things about me and my brain and all the mushy gushy feelingy stuff blablahblah i am happy that you're happy and i hope you continue to be happy, because you deserve it!! you truly do! you make me happy when skies are greyyyy. sry for that ahha but yeah i think vedim was a brilliant idea, keep it up you beautiful human you! be happy, stay true, and dont forget to be awesome! :) xx
Without sounding patronising can I just say how amazing and brave this was. I know there's this weird sense of control that comes from making your life and your brain look shiny and happy on the outside, but I think it's only when you acknowledge how shit everything feels can you start to deal with it. Obviously I don't know you, but it comes across so naturally that you're just a good person and try really hard to be happy and bring that happiness to other people's lives. Trust me when I say I know that feeling of frustration and devastation when, despite all those efforts, you just can't feel the joy in life. You can see it, objectively as you put it, but it's just outside your realm. I feel really hesitant saying this, because I feel I have no right to, but sometimes medication is the best option. I was on an antidepressant for 8 months and it was really the best decision I ever made. Sometimes you just need to take a break that sadness and get some perspective. All the love!
DODIE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WITH THE BURGER YOU LIKE LOOK BACK AND YOU'RE LIKE WHY WAS THAT NOT A GOOD DAY FOR ME?? EVERYTHING SHOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD AM I BEING STUPID?? BUT YOU JUST WEREN'T QUITE THERE AND EVERYONE ELSE SEEMED TO ENJOY IT SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU DID AND IT MAKES YOU WANT TO CRY BC ALL YOU WANT IS TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A GOOD MEMORY OF THAT DAY BUT YOU DON'T
oh Dodie, you really know how to get me... sitting in here in tears. I'm so so happy that you're starting to feel better. you are one of the most loveliest people I've ever had the privilege to meet and you deserve all the happiness in the world <33
also, the bus metaphor hit me hard. My bus used to be so full, like a party bus, but right now I feel my bus is really empty and I'm on a massive bumpy, curvy country road. I know that one day, hopefully soon, my bus may be busy again but until then I'm so so thankfully for people like you, and bri and candice for all the little things. just the music and videos and tweets and being so lovely to me when I've meet yous, just keeps me going and hoping that, one day, the bus will fill up again and the party will restart <33
I reaaaallly should be sleeping now, but ohh well haha. I didn't know you that you have depression until this video, I'm the same here- I have it and it runs in the family along with anxiety. I'm so glad you found the ladder, I hope I will too soon (and hopefully before my last 5 years of being a teenager are gone). Also wooo cats (^_^)~
*trigger warning* Thank you for talking about this. The way you described/illustrated being depressed was great, I relate so so much! You really are incredibly inspiring, dodie. You've given me a lot of positivty through your videos, and now knowing you've dealt with these types of issues, I'm even more appreciative. I also deal with depression, and I actually almost committed suicide in January and ended up at an mental health facility where I was diagnosed. Since then I've gotten on medication and started therapy.But I am just now in the last few weeks truly starting to remember what life is about, and feel happy again. To anyone who's struggling, I promise you even when depression has you going through hell, things WILL turn around for your, and that burger will be HELLA delicious with extra cheese and bacony goodness. <3
I feel like i've been in the same place for awhile now too. of course i've had days that have lifted me up and i've seen some color but then it's gone. it's back to grey and bleh and it's frustrating. i've gotten better since the end of 2014 but i've always felt doubt and i've left most of the past but sometimes i can't help but to revisit the past and let it haunt me for a bit. so i do know how you've felt and oh my goodness does it suck. but enough of that. you're videos bring me happiness and they fill me with hope. you remind me of the friends i have and the places i want to see and the things i want to do. now go get some sleep, and love you <3
This resonates with me so much. I feel greyness sometimes and the struggle feels quite intense, especially when you can't explain it to everyone else or be good for everyone else. I think you sum the feeling up pretty well, and I can see so much hope in your voice. I hope the feeling lasts, or that if you struggle with the grey again, at least you will still have the memory of vivid colour. I'm with you on this one Dodie, proud to be a subscriber. <3
+Isy I don't know if anyone has seen this but I've just realised that, for the first time in my life, I'm able to admit I might have depression. I was looking for videos on depression/sadness made by my favourite creators and I came back across this. I'm going to the GP in the next few days, funny how the world works. Thank you so much Dodie, really. Lots of love from Edinburgh, Is x
I lost it at your little note at the bottom. At first I didn't know why I was crying, then I realized I was just so happy that you were finally feeling better because I have been in the same shitty place for the past couple of months. For me things are starting to look a little brighter as well. Although my brain is not working completely quite yet, you've helped me see that this can't and won't last forever. I cannot thank you enough for changing my life. Keep on doin you :)
"or you've written your username wrong ..don't do that" im so sorry #me
also I'm so glad u can see yourself getting happier, even if it is only a little bit at a time bc u are so wonderful and u deserve to be happy and mental illness sucks. I love u soso much and I am so proud of u !!
Dodie, omg, you've responded to most all of the comments on here and that, to me makes you Queen BAE. Don't respond to this. Get your sleep. The content of the video and your letter has filled me up w/hope. Pinky swear accepted, thank you.
Dear Dodie, you are one of the most truly inspirational Youtubers I have ever ever seen and I am so glad I get to watch you grow into such a strong, more confident, really lovely person, inside and out (oh god I sound a bit paedophillic(if that's even a word)) aHhhh you are a God damned fabulous human being, even when you have every reason to be upset, you still smile and aLwAySs put others before yourself and wow, there's not many people like you left on this cruel earth.. Hmm I wonder if we could make loads of Dodie clones and I swear the world would be a much much much (multiplied by 183837743838) better place ahhhh ...if only💭💭 but then there's all the ethical issues with cloning and all that jazzzzz.... (Biology revision brain sorry) wow, you're such a blooming inspiration to everyone, you show us that, yes, mental illnesses DO suck, however there's always going to be a ladder to climb out of the deep abyss of feelings and thoughts and that ladder may be hard to reach, but you CAN reach it (metaphors are life m8) ps you'll always be a part of my amazing bus of amazing people, and I'll never leave that bus... Ah, and people will come and leave our buses, some who we thought would stay forever and never leave our sides... And then there are some who we put so much time and effort into and then we don't get it back, welllll, they can hop off at the next stop! AHHH SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING DEEPNESS BUT I CAN't EXPRESS HOW STRONG YOU ARE, WELL DONE FOR NOT GIVING UP, SEE, YOU C A N do THIS AND YOU ARE WORTH EVERY PLACE IN THIS WORLD, STAY SNAZZY XxxxX
God Dodie your letter hit me right there... This video kind of opened up my eyes a little bit. I am surrounded by all these awesome freaking people that love me and want me to be happy but I just can't bring myself to do it. Smiling seems like a hardship, let alone enjoying myself which feels like a chore. People ask me what's wrong and I just don't know what to say because there really is nothing wrong. I'm being sad for the sake of being sad and it's just such a part of my human nature now that I don't know how to stop. I love you so much, and your videos are one of the little rays of sunshine in my life, and it kills me that you're going through this. I'm so happy that you're getting better though, because people like you shouldn't have to deal with this. Geez sorry I just wrote a book but thanks if you stuck with me. Love you Dodie. <3333
you wonderful person, its good to hear things are getting better. Also is the piano version of adventure time you had in the background at the end something you did or can it be found somewhere else?
Dodie are you ever going to tour in America?! I adore you and your music but I live all the way over in New York! Just curious, no pressure! I had the same 'burger feeling' after my bat mitzvah. I never really understood it but you manage to put it in to words so thank you!! <3
Sometimes a candle shines brighter than a strobe light.
What I mean is, sometimes it's the simple things that show us how awesome the bigger things are. For me, it was seeing the finale of Poirot and the same year meeting David Suchet that really cemented in my mind that I'm definitely getting better. I keep going because I know there are more things in my life to look forward to like that. Big things, like meeting people who inspire me, and little things, like sunny days, starry nights, and lazy afternoons.
Okay, Winnie-the-Pooh reference wasn't fully intentional. But fitting. So so fitting.
You shared so many things on this single video, that a proper comment would have to be a wall of text, so to keep it tight and actually readable:
You are a very mature person, conscious of your feelings, and knows how to put yourself into other people's shoes. It's amazing how you apologize about not being able to spend more time with your fans, even though I'm sure that most likely all of them appreciated their time with you a lot. I need to add that it's nice to see you embracing the beginning of your adulthood. Many people kinda freakout when this happens.
It's awesome to know how much you could enjoy so much the day you broke into the park. One thing is getting a day off but still having some part of your work with you, maybe putting some pressure onto your shoulders, but that day looked like you could enjoy yourself and your friends with no worries at all, and that makes a big difference.
To finish this huge comment that I was planning to be a lot shorter, let me take a ride into the bus metaphore (badjokeisbad) and say that you're a captivating person, and you don't need to worry because as you said, your bus is full of people who'll always wish you the best that's out there for you to have.
I'm sorry if I couldn't write anything shorter, but after going through 20 mins of your feelings and experiences, this is the shortest I could write.
The burger metaphor though... I was depressed for about 4 years on and off and was okay for a while then got a chronic illness which is just as fun as it sounds. I've had it for 3 years now (I'm 19) and when I first got it I started towards depression again. Luckily I recognised it in myself and I'm still working on it but thanks for putting my feels into words. Glad you enjoyed Manchester! I missed it because of uni work and was absolutely gutted so it was a little sad to see you filming by the SU just next to where I live :( buuut there'll be another chance I'm sure :) which tattoo shop did you go to? I really want a small/delicate one like yours and was thinking Holier Than Thou which is where I got my daith piercing but idk if they too small tatts or if it's priced by time or whatever cause they seem to be the go hard or go home types haha xxx
the burger analogy. the fucking burger analogy, dodie. you are so so smart for coming up with that. because that is exactly how i feel when i'm with people everyday. i hate it so much that when i'm with people that i like and i should be having a good time, i can't. i just feel so alone all the time. and sad, but not really sad. just like empty nothingness. and tired and done with everything. i don't know how to explain it. and i've done some really bad stuff and even though i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, i'm glad you are starting to find yours. thank you for putting my thoughts into words. you're lovely x.
Still in the cave, and it's cold and awful and dark, but I think this feels like someone threw me a torch and now I can see a bit better and maybe I can find that ladder?
yeahhh,i cried.i don't have many words prepared. for all the people who've fallen down the black holes;there is a ladder somewhere in there.i can PROMISE you there is.and I'll tell you why I'm so sure there is one.It's you,my sweet friend.You are the ladder.You have unlimited power in you.You have the ability to shine brighter than all the stars combined.You,in your own self,are a whole damn Universe.Take as long as you need,wonderful being of light.Look for yourself,knock on those rocks,look up and down and back up again,cry until you run out of tears.And then cry some more.Do whatever you feel is right,and good for you.Don't beat yourself up.You ARE enough.You always have been and always will be.I know that right now the gray cloud of hopelessness is blocking your view,and I know that you maybe won't believe my words until you find this out on your own,but MY GOD.Your power is endless.When the time comes,when you'll feel ready;you'll know exactly how to get out of there.Don't rush it.Let it swallow you up and spit you back out.If there's one thing I can swear to you,it's this: you will come out of there stronger than ever.you will come out of there as an improved you.You've just forgotten who you are for a while.And that's completely okay.Take your time..take your time...take your time..
Oh Dodie, this was so bloody bittersweet. You are not alone, I know the feeling seems greater than the actuality but, I hope you will always be able to remember that. I know it will be tricky, that is why I want to keep saying it: you will always have someone there for you.
I don't have the brain power to write a proper coherent comment rn but this was an amazing video and I'm so glad things are starting to feel a little better <3 (ps i love the piano adventure time) (pps manchester was the best because i was there obvs)
So... The tour claimed Dodie's Ukulele and a piece of Bry's tooth. I AM SO SORRY. But anyway, you were amazing so thank you. I'd just like to say that I came to the Belfast show not really knowing much about you or Bry, but I left with the greatest memories and a signed poster from people (even Gary) I had not fully appreciated earlier that day. By the end of the show I could tell I was officially a fan because I got nervous before getting signatures ;] I guess what I'm trying to say is; here's to new experiences, finding new wonderful things to enjoy with people and LET'S ALL RIDE THE FUCKING BUS. Wishing you all the best x
Ahh jesus okay I'm just gonna apologise in advance because I know how long this comment is going to be and nobody is gonna read this because it's going to be so long and dull but flippin eck i need to type. I don't cry a lot and so when I do, it's because something has connected with me deep down and, yeah, this video did just that. I turned 20 around the same time as you and so much of what you said hit me so hard. I went to Florida for two weeks last year and while it's full of so many incredible memories, there were times when it just didn't feel like I was expecting it to feel. It just felt blank. On the first day, we went to the Magic Kingdom and I felt nothing. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, I don't know, but I have this thing sometimes where I will just completely blank out. My body just goes on autopilot and I can't concentrate. My mind goes off and suddenly the day is done and it doesn't feel like it's happened. I feel no excitement or anything, it's just empty. That evening, we watched the fireworks over the castle and I walked away from my group of friends, and I stood there, and I watched those fireworks and it was beautiful and I was in a place I'd wanted to go my entire life, and I cried. I cried a lot. In fact, I cried all the way back to the house we were staying in, so for a good hour or two. And it was because I felt nothing at all. So much anticipation and nothing. And even now I look back and it gets me down. I may never be able to go again and I feel like I ruined it for myself.
And watching this video just hit me with all that I guess. I know it's a common thing, but just hearing somebody else explain it and use their words to describe exactly what you've been feeling is hard hitting.
On another note, seeing you and your friends and being so so so happy kinda got me with such an array of emotions. That part when you're in the park with Ella and Steven looked like such bliss. And while I have friends, incredible incredible friends, I've never really experienced a friendship like that. I only get to see them once a week at rehearsals, or talk to them over the phone, and they're all too busy to meet up. If we do, it'll just be at a house, and I don't know, there's a part of me that's a little jealous I guess, tbh, of you and your friends, and there's a part of me that wishes so hard that I was in that park with you guys that night and feeling the joy you were all feeling and I hope so much that I get to have moments like that. Being the same age as you all is strange for me. I guess because it feels wrong to look up to you all, it's almost like a friendship that I want to be part of but can't, I can only watch it vicariously :') And that's totally cool, I guess that's just the nature of YouTube and vlogging! Just hopefully spontaneity and joy like you guys had there will come to me sometime too! But as well as that, it made me so happy. To see you and everybody so so happy, like properly happy, it's just such a joy. Especially after everything and the feelings you've been having.
I don't really know what I'm saying anymore. I'm just ranting words and sobbing aha! Seeing everybody else's comments here too, seeing such similar emotions and feelings, it's a little heartbreaking. Combine that with all of the YouTuberHonestyHour tweets from yesterday too... Gosh I just want to give everybody a hug. I have a habit of becoming really emotionally invested in people. If my friends, or even other strangers are upset, it makes me sad too.
I should stop typing, I'll just end with the way I always like to by saying that Dodie hi yeah you're pretty freakin' cool. I hope the world throws a lifetime of incredible moments your way. And when you're down, and if you ever don't want to upload a video, or have no inspiration, or you're worried that it won't be uploaded in time, please don't worry. You do you first. Make sure Dodie is happy, we all understand and we all care.
I'm really really bad at trying to word things and I'm really just quite an awkward person which doesn't help but I'm going to try so I'm SO sorry if any of this comes out offensive or ignorant I don't even know I promise that is NOT the intention... Around about two and a half years ago, although I haven't been diagnosed, I am 110% certain I had depression. And your metaphors touched me because they were just soooo so accurate! The taste of nothing whilst others around you are licking their fingers describes depression ,for me anyway, perfectly. And looking back now I was such a different person. I remember the first time I was genuinely happy in about a year and a half was mcflys concert and I just cried because I was so happy and id been dreading going for about six months because I was adamant that it would taste of nothing. It literally feels like the life has been sucked out of you! The scariest thing for me was that it started becoming addictive which is such a disgusting way to put it, but I lost hope in ever being happy again, I didn't talk to anyone and pushed EVERYONE away and then felt even worse because I felt like I had no one but depression is a strange and complicated thing and I can't even remember much because my mind is erasing those couple of years it could be as though I didn't ever live them. This part im worried may come across as ignorant but this is my personal story so don't take this the wrong way. I remember waking up and deciding I was going to be happy that day and I was going to be in a positive mindset even when things went wrong. That was about six months ago. Every single day I feel like I am clinging to the edge of black soil with yellow light above me to stop myself from falling down into the blackness and its a constant battle. I don't personally think that depression ever goes away we can only learn how to control it but it takes so so so much energy to do so. It kills me that someone so lovely and genuinely nice and talented like you can feel this way. The mind is a terrifying thing and I'm so happy you are surrounded by amazing people because for me that helped so much. It's weird how much I care about someone who I've never met and really know nothing about but I want you to be happy and content more than anything. Also before I go, please please please do not let YouTube to stress you out we all appreciate the time and effort you put into it. I love you ridiculous amounts Dodie. R x
@Rhiannon Charles Oh my goodness you were SO right when you say it's almost addictive!!! It's like in that mindset you can't help but think of negative things!
I'm so sorry you went through this but I'm so proud that we're both getting better too! x
You have no idea how much it means that you replied, your channel has become my life and makes me insanely happy, I'm just so sorry that you're going though this. I basically just cried because you replied and it made me happier and I was really nervous about posting that but I feel comforted now and I keep rambling x
This is probably a stupid, hopefully not patronising suggestion, but: Exercise! This may sound crazy, but look at what you were doing on that day you were feeling better about life - running around a giant inflatable obstetrical course in the sunshine with your friends.
We all know there isn't a quick fix for that feeling when the sun is shining, but it may as well be raining. But maybe what your missing, day in day out, is that child like exhilaration of running around a playground or scrambling all over climbing frames - that physical exhaustion at the end of the day that allows you to sleep like a baby, that rush of adrenaline and fire that come from your heart racing. All of which comes from exercise - enjoyable exercise! Getting your heart racing and the blood rushing through you with a smile on your face. I don't know if it'll work for you, but if I ever feel terrible, I force myself to jump on my bike and go for a ride (I'm a Londoner, it's suicidal, I know) sometimes I come back feeling even worse, but most of the time I feel like I have done something productive and freeing. It gets you thinking about something else for a while and blows away all the cobwebs. Maybe join a climbing or rowing club, go swimming, ride your bike (somewhere not too dangerous) - it's just an idea.
And yes mental illness sucks. Having dealt with depression, really bad anxiety and a self harm addiction, I know what you mean about finding that ladder. I'm finally coming out of this after like 7ish years. (I'm 15) and almost celebrating a year self harm free. Anyone who's still in that place, hang on cause it may take time but it doesn't last forever
depression is really REALLY shit. All I have been thinking about for the past two years was how CRAP i felt. The clip where i look really ugly in like the last section was me in Melbourne, where it was 4am and evan was sleeping and I literally cried for like 5 hours because I couldn't sleep because I just felt so DONE with life. I was adventuring the world, across the planet and I felt SO like sick and sad and tired and angry and NOTHING. It was the worst. Mental illness is so annoying because you know objectively you're fine, but your brain will just not WORK! It's missing something and it's like you're full of holes. Or rather you have one big hole. You're just fucking EMPTY and there's a big black hole inside you and everyone else around you is laughing and smiling and living and you're like all of these colourful people hate me because I am GREY and SAD and TIRED and SHITTY. It's been the worst because my life has been so cool but I haven't been able to enjoy it for soooo longgg.
BUT.
Like I said in the video. I'm starting to feel BETTER i genuinely never thought it was possible! I'd crawled down into this little depression cave and I was like getting back up is impossible!!! It's cold and dark and I don't even know how I got down here so how the feck do I get back up?!?! I was SO ready to give up hope and like idk it was so shit but like I'm seeing positives and everything and i like broke down yesterday bc dottie posted a video on happiness and i realised that i'm starting to feel it again
guys depression people please don't give up hope your depression cave is SO shit right now look honestly i know BUT THERE IS A LADDER SOMEWHERE
and you might need someone to help you up it! like a doctor, or a therapist or something but holy crap please don't stop until you find that ladder because remember when life was worth living?! dude I have news IT STILL IS it was so good once and it will be again pinky swear
You know Dodie, you probably won't even read this comment but I feel like I have to say something. I'm sitting here at 3:30am, watching this video & reading your letter again and crying. Again. You can think burger & bus metaphors are cheesy or stupid but damn, they're so accurate. You put that in words and all I could do was to agree and nod. I felt like something's wrong with me since a long time, but videos like this make me realise what's going on and that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I didn't want to believe in it, but I might be depressed. Some people say "how can you have a depression? You have an awesome life..." but they can't see what's going on in your head, they can't feel that emptiness (I hate this feeling so so much), they can't see you crying behind closed doors. Currently I feel like my brain isn't working and there's that mentioned by you big wall in front of me. Feeling like crap everyday sucks, feeling empty and shitty and sad sucks. Crying actually without a reason, but not being able to stop, sucks. I'm really glad you're starting to feel better and I wish you all the best, because you deserve it, you're amazing and brave. I wish you to enjoy life, like REALLY enjoy, feel these beautiful moments and have brilliant days and amazing people on your bus.
Hey Dodie, been watching you for a short while, found you on hiive and been enjoying your videos since, and I just wanted to say that I read the description of this video and it really did help me feel a little glimmer of happiness. I just thought you would like to know that you made a difference to my day, so thank you. Keep doing what you do and all that jazz :)
all you need to be is happy and im really proud to say that myself and thousands of others can be apart of your bus journey. thank you for being you xx
I'm watching this tomorrow bc i'm tired but I'm proud of you and I love you so much and thank you. Depression sucks and it always will be there but there are ways we can make it through this x
Lol I was front row at the Dublin show and met you for the second time afterwards. The show was amazing but horrible people behind me gave me a panic attack before I met you, so now I barely remember it :( but the show was amazing and the meet and greet means so much so thanks 💕
Watching this in the lib and it feels like I've done sixty emotions before lunchtime
251 likesReplies (3)
@meowitslucy You'll be okay soon, egg
16 likes@meowitslucy <33333
26 likes@doddleoddle <33
12 likesAll the feeels :) this was so good!
691 likesReplies (2)
:D
176 likesTimH Films oh my god I want to go on tour! Your living my dream haha
5 likesthe ballad of dodie and her brain
312 likesReplies (4)
the 1975 omG
15 likes😎👉👉
1 likeFawaz Shah my favorite comment
0 likesFawaz Shah GOOD PUN I LOVE THE 1975 MY BABIES FOR YEARS
1 likeThis is genuinely one of the greatest videos I've ever seen.
176 likesHonoured to be a part of it gah <3
I am so happy we're friends <3
181 likesThis video was great, and emotional to watch! It's so great how honest you can be on camera to thousands of people.
That day out was the greatest day I've had in months. Had such an awesome time. Although I cringed so hard at our American accents that I had to pause the video haha! xxx
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@StevenBridges I JUST REALLY LOVE CATS
68 likesthank you my best best best chum <3 and thank you for that WONDERFUL day!
@StevenBridges literally same cringed super bad XD eep super great day
7 likesI'm rewatching old dodie and it's so weird because she looks so hippy and her hair is so long but it's Dodie Ahhhh.
48 likesI will not deny that I cried during this video.... multiple times...
139 likesReplies (3)
+ToasterOstriches I cried the entire video, for no good reason.
4 likesI came down here to like this comments or any comment like it
5 likesSAME
0 likesThis was so gorgeous. Really nicely executed and touching through and through. One of the times we want to really genuinely thank you for sharing this with us.
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@TenEighty UK Love you guys <3
3 likesI adore you.
472 likesYou're going to have to remove me from that bus with force if you ever want rid of me, just FYI
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@candysomething Ah stay on my bliddy bus forever <3
112 likes@doddleoddle, how does it feel to be adored by her?
41 likes+hollyb123isawesome oh my god, did you just...
2 likesJ
0 likesoh fuck i am in tears Dodie you are so intelligent and have the best way with words and you do not give yourself enough credit whatsoever. i would buy a million tickets to ride your bus
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Same lol I would pay basically my life for a bus ticket
0 likesSame I would do anything to meet her!
0 likes+SixtySecond Yoga I literally are you EVERYWHERE!! hehe!
0 likesAs many people have already said, that metaphor hit me hard. Today has just been utter crap, and so has the past few weeks/months/years honestly I've lost track of how long it's been but I've fallen into what I feel may be depression but I don't feel worthy of that title, as if I'm just overreacting and that 'I'm fine' (as I keep telling everyone). I don't think my bus has ever felt so empty, it just feel like I'm existing for the sake of existing and I find myself not wanting to commit suicide, because I'm too much of a coward, but hoping someone can just turn my existence off or let me skip this section of my life to the part where I can wake up on a Sunday in my own house with someone that I love and just be happy, but a big part of me feels that even if I did skip ahead, my life will never be as I hope it to be and that I will just be on this crappy bus ride alone for the rest of my life, driving past all these people on their buses who are happy and colourful and loved.
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+Cwiddy1812 If you feel sad constantly but convince yourself that you're making something out of nothing, that is a problem. I know that you said that you think depression is a title you deem yourself unworthy of claiming, but just know that it is something that any of us can have, and you do not need outward justification. I'm not saying one should diagnose, but if you think you have depression, you're not thinking that for no good reason. If you need somebody to talk to, you may contact me if you want. I hope things lighten up for you in due time.
5 likesThis sounds so stupid but one day your gonna look back on this and think about how much you learned because of this experience. I know you really want to skip to the good parts of life, but atleast when things get bad again you'll have more experience to get through it. And you're not alone in that bus, lots of us are there right now. Together, we can grow and make it off the bus. Although this bus ride is terrible, know that it will, eventually end. Love ya ❤️
5 likesI'm in a very similar situation
0 likesextremely important tips
5 likes1)force yourself to go out of the house to be around as many good people as you can all the time. do it right now. text someone and make plans for tomorrow, to do something or just talk
2)also talk to the person you feel most comfortable talking to about how you feel.
I think this describes my situation very well right now...
3 likestrapped in a constant state of in between, never really joyful, but never truly depressed.
Update: well it's been over a year now and I can't say that I feel any better, if anything I feel worse. For the past year and a bit, I've missed a dangerous amount of school and I'm not falling behind academically but I'll be in a lot of trouble if this carries on and there's a chance of me getting kicked out. I've never been a morning person, even when I was younger I would struggle with getting up but now it feels so much different. I've managed to distance myself from my 'friends' whilst also being isolated and pushed out of the group. Usually your friends are the good part of school but now I find it so hard to find any sort of motivation to go. I've had a blood test and there's isn't anything out of the ordinary physically, so it must be my brain. The other week I went to the doctor because my mum wanted me to talk to her. I was so nervous and my hands and legs were shaking and wobbly beforehand, I thought it would finally be the day that I would get some thing that would help. My only problem was that I couldn't even mention depression- I just sat there and cried. In the end she told me that it was probably 'confidence issues' and that she had 'seen people with bigger problems' which obviously didn't help me whatsoever. I think in the past year or so I've managed to get myself into such a bad brain place and I have a feeling that I might have a bit of social anxiety too because that would explain some of the days where I can't bear the thought of school because when I'm there I feel like everyone is constantly judging me and I hate it. I don't like days where I have food tech because I feel like I'm going to mess it up, I don't like doing tests because I feel like I know nothing and then I panic, I hate having to get into groups or if we don't have a seating plan because I feel like such an inconvenience and that no one wants to be with me.
5 likesIt was my birthday in December but I didn't do anything to celebrate because I didn't think that my 'friends' would want to come and I thought it would be awkward because I hate having any sort of attention and I felt like people would have joked about how bad it would have been and I doubted if they would even show up, so I didn't do anything. And yes I know that there's group chats that I'm not part of and yes I know that they meet up without me and yes it feels horrible when I know that for everyone else's birthday, we all paid £10 each to get them a decent present and my birthday was ignored and yes I know I sound stupid.
In two weeks I get to see Dodie on tour and I just hope that I get to say thank you to her for making me aware of my mental health and how it's a bit shit, but that I'm not the only one. I hope my bus gets better soon.
+Cwiddy1812 I've dealt with social anxiety and depression for seven years now and spend five of them not talking to anyone about the way I feel and keeping it all to myself. The best advise I can give you is to NOT do that. It really isolated me from everyone, especially the people I care about most and I've lost friends and missed out on so much because of my mental health problems. Looking back, I wish I had gone to therapy or just talked to someone about it much sooner because I would not have isolated myself so much and gone through everything alone. Please talk to someone you trust about all of this or look for another doctor/therapist that will take your issues seriously and not just dismiss them because "other people have it worse". Just because some people might suffer more does not mean your suffering is not valid or that you're not worth being listened to or helped, because you are! Simply discussing what's going on in your brain and receiving advise on how to deal with certain situations can really make a difference. I wish you the best of luck! :)
2 likesCwiddy1812 i can relate to every sentence. it's like we're in the same bus but im just to awkward to talk???
0 likesFania Taufiq same.
0 likesCwiddy1812 hello! i'm thankful to see you have updated, even though you're not feeling well still. i'm so sorry you're in a rough place, but it seems as though you want to be happy and have a colorful bus, which is awesome! although your mental state was written off as "confidence issues", what you're feeling is a problem. just because people are experiencing difficult situations as well, it does not mean that you don't deserve to receive help and learn to cope with all this. you know, the great thing about life is that someone can hop onto our bus at any given moment and show us things we never thought possible. i'm sure there are tons of people waiting to join you for the ride. so please talk to someone and tell them straight up how you feel and that you want so much more than emptiness and anxiety. don't give up on that bus full of color and love and excitement, okay? life is meant to feel that way. i feel so strongly that you're gonna get to a great place soon. if you need to talk, i'm here for you!
1 likeThis is exactly how I feel. I have thoughts of wanting to die/stop existing all the time but of course I'm not actually gonna do anything because I know I'm loved and I would feel guilty making my family & friends hurt that way. I have feelings of worthlessness and I feel like I'll never amount to anything, like my life isn't worth it. And I know of course that there are people out there who have it way worse, who would kill to be in my shoes but I'm such a weak person and I'm being crushed under all the stress of school and my home life. I'm at the point where I would rather die than have to go to school. I also find myself feeling waves of numbness and sometimes I don't even have the will to do anything besides lay down and scroll through my phone to distract myself and it scares me. I just feel that as I approach college and the "real world" I'll never be able to handle it because of the stress and life will never truly be enjoyable. I feel bad because sometimes I get so irritated when I see my friends talking or they try to talk to me and it's not even their fault, they did nothing wrong but then I sometimes also get so lonely it hurts and I don't have anyone to hold me or just tell me it's gonna be alright because I don't want to worry my friends/family if I tell them how I feel. Basically I just feel like a big baby who gets overwhelmed by everything while all the people I know are strong enough to hide it and fake being okay. My immediate family does have mental health issues but I don't want to diagnose myself. I'm gonna try to look for a professional and I hope it doesn't take too long. Sorry for ranting I just needed somewhere to get this down without telling someone I actually know.
0 likesIt's been over one year and this vlog has still remained my favorite vlog on the Internet. Thank you, Dodie.
109 likesyour burger metaphor literally just described depression better then any other cheesy metaphor i have ever heard
52 likesI'm not crying, my eyes are just sweating.
41 likesDodie I just want to say that you have impacted my life so much. I started my channel because of you. You are one of the only you tubers who is honest instead of pretending to be cheerful and perfect all the time. I know that telling you to cheer up won't make you any happier, but I just wanted to tell you that you have one hundred thousand people supporting you on this channel and even more on your main. So if you ever just feel like crap and want to vent, we won't judge you. Honestly this video made me tear up so much. It reminded me of when I first found your channel an watched your videos under the covers all night when I was supposed to be sleeping because I wanted to memorize the lyrics. I was in love. But that was when you were Doddleoddle. This is when you are Dodie clark, and I love you even more. Dodie is real. Dodie is a person who pulls you out of the dark to remind you that there are people out there like you. And for a brief moment, you are there. There is no border between you and the screen. Don't feel bad about being yourself. Don't feel like talking to us when you are sad makes us go away. Because other people make us pause, make us forget about our problems, and you help us connect. You help us realize that there are other people like us, who feel the same way, who think the same things. What you are putting out is more than just silly little song videos or funny blogs, It's comfort.
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+M O O N S H A R D AMEN. Truetruetrue. Omg you totally put that into words perfectly.
3 likesThis was the most honest and accurate video regarding depression and what those lesser moment are like that I have ever seen. Everything you said struck a chord in me, all of it was recognisable - the emptiness, the lack of feeling, the frustration at that lack of feeling.
192 likesI'm glad you're starting to feel things again - there's nothing better than realising you can feel the things that others around you have felt for ages once more (:
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@whoahchloe oh me oh my thank you <3
42 likesthis is now my favourite vlog of all time. of all youtube, really
26 likeslove you dodie and have a great burger/bus :)
omg when u danced it was so fucking cute????? im dead and gay
247 likesReplies (5)
bahahahah :D
1 like+Kathy Paw bud me too lmao
1 likeMe af.
1 like"i'm dead and gay" me too ???????
26 likeseve • lol. "I'm dead and gay".
6 likesThis is my favorite dodie video I think
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Yeah. It is.
21 likesI come here every time I remember this video exists. And every time I feel grateful.
66 likesAppreciate your honesty and attempts to explain such difficult feellings. Especially being mental health awareness week and all. I've done some very similar explaining recently - I know how hard it is :)
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@CrazyBeautifulLife58 is it!!!? ey, this worked out well :) xx
14 likes@doddleoddle Perfect timing! Shows we are 2 among many <3
1 likeI am currently feeling exactly like you right now: blank and colorless. I constantly feel like I need to either cry or scream do anything to try and get this feeling out of me and prove to myself that I still have emotions. Although I know my buss is not empty, I feel like I am sitting at the back row, all by myself and no one really knows I'm there because they haven't looked around to see me sitting in my own. Well, they must know I'm there because they saw me getting on the buss in the first place but after that the just, sort of forgot. This video is quite old now and by the looks of it you are, hopefully, better or at least getting better. Please can you tell me something, anything to give me some hope that one day soon, someone will turn around and see me sitting on the back seat. X
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I know you are probably hoping for Dodie's answer but I'm sorry, it's just me. I just wanted to tell you that you're awesome and that you can do anything you want if you believe in yourself. And you are not alone. You are supported by everyone and we love you. Have a good day ❤
6 likesI can really relate to the feeling grey section of this video. I felt/ still feel like all of my life has been a grey patch and I've never been truly happy. For example: I went on a once in a life time trip to America last year and it was a really awesome thing and should have been amazing, but looking back on it, my brain doesn't let me feel that happiness about it and doesn't give me the butterflies of excitement inside. I felt really guilty about it because it cost a lot of money and there are so many people that aren't lucky enough to have this experience and forced myself to feel those emotions I thought I should be feeling, I sometimes I still do. But I have realised and keep on realising that this is just the way my brain works and it's not my fault. I can't do anything about it other than keep looking for those things in life that give me these emotions and make me feel truly happy
7 likesThanks dodie, now I'm less stressed and you actually made me realize that not every day has to be the best day but that even the simplest days can be the happiest. 😊
15 likesI tried to write something in response to this, because this video's pure existence means a lot to me. Then again, just writing that is probably good enough
5 likesI love Bry and Candice. They seem like such kind and genuine people.
9 likesI had never cried over a burger in my life before
57 likesWatching this in 2021 because for me this is ✨nostalgia✨. Realizing I was 16 when I last watched this and living through what I thought would be the hardest part of my life (lol) has got me sobbing. Hahah. A mess. Also, I got a tattoo the day before I turned 20 for the exact same reason but I didn’t know where I had gotten the idea. I can’t believe that idea had been living in my brain subconsciously from this 5 year old video. I miss overdramatic 16 year old me that idolized Dodie. Still love you, Dodie.
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🖤
0 likesWeird, someone seems to be cutting onions every time I watch this video...
110 likesJust bought a travel card to stay on your bus please. You're wonderful and I hope you never ever forget that <3
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@Kezia Rose Newson :D :D :D
2 likesWow I remember first watching this when it came out I was 13, almost 14 years old. Now I’m 19, turning 20 like dodie in this video. Didn’t think I would make it this far but I’m so glad I did
3 likeswatched this again in the morning and cried my eyes out<3 dodie, I'm so glad you're finding happiness again, and I'm so happy that I was able to come and see you again ^.^ I love the end of this video as we all look so happy, and that was one of the happiest nights of my life.
2 likesHope to see you soon<3 xoxo
Quite honestly, this video made me feel nostalgic in a way I never have before. Thank you for helping me see the lives of those around me who are suffering with depression in a more more understanding way. Love you!
1 likeI like sitting at the back of your bus and singing 3 part harmonies with you. Maybe one day we'll find more than one song. EH EEEHH??? Lovely to see this in full. Very happy for dodester <3 Hopefully see you soon xxx
4 likesaww this video is great💜 I love u Dodie, and ik , depression is hard and can't go away easy. it sticks like glue. it feels like ur drowning and there's no one to save you. it feels like ur in a corn maze trying to find a way out but you can't seem to find a way out. it sucks. especially when ur as young as I. We just need to stay strong,and things WILL be okay💋
5 likesI'm not crying, you are.
30 likesYou're amazing... You bring so much joy to our lives!! We love you Dodie!!
1 likeCandice' reaction was so lovely when you saw your broken uke and she immediately said "You okay?"
1 likeI've only recently found you and I instantly fell in love. Also fairly recently I've been starting to understand your burger metaphor A LOT. I feel almost empty, but it's almost like I'm feeling all of these emotions, but they just seem to be dulled within my brain. It's as if my life is a painting. It used to be very bright and colourful, and still is, but to me it seems like it's faded over time. I feel like maybe it's depression but I'm not sure, and I don't want to insult all of the people who know they have it and are highly affected by it by saying that I have it when I don't. You have been such an inspiration to me over the past couple of months and I want to thank you for being so honest and down to earth. I love all of your music, and all of your videos. I am sure that you must get hundreds of messages like this but I think that you can never have too many positive comments. Thank you thank you thank you for everything you do for me and all of the rest of the amazing group of people that watch your videos and can relate to you. Keep doing what you're doing, you are amazing.
2 likesReading the last two lines of that description was a real eye opener. Thank you dodie. You are truly an amazing human.
1 liketo this day, this is one of my favorite videos on the internet. i always come back to it when i need it. dodie, you're wonderful.
1 likeI always imagine I have fairy lights in my heart. Recently, they have been flickering. I was waiting for the moment I would lose my temper, say something silly, for the fuses in the bulbs to blow; you have just switched the fairy lights on. They are shining with happiness and pride for you. Keep it up Dodie. Let the fairy lights shine on x
4 likesThis is my favourite video in the whole entire world. Dodie, thank you!
1 likeThank you for this, Dodie Clark
2 likesWoah that burger analogy is amazing! I've never really known how describe that feeling other than feeling as hollow as those chocolate bunnies at Easter. I'm glad you're starting to feel better xxx
1 likeThat metaphor hit me hard. I feel like my bus is empty, and it has been for a long time. Still i tell myself that i'm alright just enjoying the peace an quiet of this bus ride. Maybe that is not so. Maybe I should allow other people in. I guess i avoid thinking about this stuff. I guess i am glad that now i did. Thanks Dodie <3
173 likesReplies (6)
@MagikarpPoop <3333 fill your bus!
25 likes@doddleoddle Thanks Dodie. You're the best! <3
1 like@MagikarpPoop Your comment hit me hard. It's a tough ride but do your best! <3
1 like@Elli Angelidou Thanks! ♥︎
0 likes:)
1 like@MagikarpPoop i feel exactly the same
1 likeahhh can't stop watching this. Like the 4th time and still makes me well up but feel warm and fuzzy at the same time. Much love and many virtual hugs.
1 likeI have been a Doddleoddle fan from Day 1. This is one of my favorite videos of yours.
4 likesSometimes I feel like my bus is empty too, like I have a really great juicy burger and I don't taste any of it... and I feel so bad because I SHOULD be enjoying it and I SHOULD be having as much of a good time as the people around me seem to be having. Well. This video gave me hope, Dodie. That 1. Other people (like me, all musical and naturally optimistic and wut not) feel this way, and not that it is normal... but at least I am not alone, 2. It's OK to go get a tattoo or do something spontaneous even if you always told yourself you'd never do it, and 3. Being happy depends not on the circumstance, but how you FEEL inside. And sometimes it's alright to jump on a bouncy house and goof off and have good clean innocent fun, and it's also alright to be in crowded sweaty venues playing music for hundreds of strangers.
Anyway. I just wanted to tell you how much your videos mean to me. They are my bright spot. I follow your tweets and posts and vids because we are so similar, and your creativity and general "normal"ness (if that makes sense? Obviously you are not normal, but I mean you kind of are cus youre just feeling your way thru life like the rest of us) makes me happy and feel like I have something in common with someone else on my worst, most isolated days.
Keep posting and creating. You are an inspiration without trying to be, and honestly that is the best kind. <3
after hearing youve been privatizing some vloggle videos, i immediately came to check on this one. this video means a lot to me; it really started my journey of understanding my own mental health and it plays in the back of my head to this day. of course, i completely get if this isnt one youre comfortable leaving up, i just wanted to let you know how important it was/is to me and to thank you for making it. all the best to you:)
2 likesThank you for posting this Dodie. I just got out of hospital yesterday after being in for a few weeks after my mental illnesses took over my life and I never thought I would survive but somehow I have and it's still so so hard but seeing you talk about it makes me feel so much less alone. Lots of love to you and anyone else struggling 💕xxx
1 likeyou are super brave for making this video. It was info you didn't have to tell us but chose to. And I hugely appreciate that. :)
2 likesI'm working in mental health nursing at the moment and I know how hard depression can be. Good on you for pushing through
Dodie you're so inspiring! I always feel so positive about the future when I watch your videos. Thank you for following your dreams and inspiring us to do the same :)
0 likesi periodically come back and watch this video i just love it so much
5 likesEverytime i watch this video it makes me smile and feel happy :D
1 likeI've completely teared up, you're so wonderful!
1 likethanks dodie. ive been scared cause my family thinks i might have anxiety and that really really really terrifies me and so thanks for cheering me up and everything and i love you so yay :)
1 likeDodie, this was fudging amazing-tastic!!! :D You're so amazing and I feel you so much <3
0 likesI cried at this, I'm so happy that you're beginning to feel happier and I think that this video was wonderful <3
0 likesIt's 7:30am. I'm laying in bed bawling after watching this. You're a lovely person Dodie. <3
0 likesThis is honestly my favourite video ever! I cry every time I watch it :'(! I can't even begin to explain how beautiful the whole thing is! I love you Dodie xx
0 likesi love how honest this video is, i can honestly relate so hard to how you feel <3
0 likesThis was so beautiful and well put together, happy to see you feeling better <3
0 likes(Also I am actually Dr. Seuss ;)
dodie i can't put into words how beautiful this is <3 This helped so much, thank you ily
0 likesI'm so glad you're feeling better. Thank you for giving me hope Dodie
0 likesAnd your tour sounded mega awesome, and I'm so glad you're feeling happier, and I love every single one of your videos:):)
0 likesSeriously Dodie, this video caused so many emotions!
0 likesI'm so happy that you are getting better and I'm so proud of you❤️
you getting your uke smashed totally reminds me of Harry Potter's Nimbus 2000 getting crushed in the whomping willow which is sad and OH NOW IM EMOTIONAL
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@OfTheseDaydreams OH YEAH
50 likesI watch this every time I need something to help me feel motivated or hopeful and it never ever fails
0 likesI went through a similar thing last year, I felt pretty lost, this is so inspiring, thankyou for your lovely videos, sending you happy squishy vibes xox
0 likesMy best friend has been suffering from depression, I'm showing this to her.
0 likesYou are amazing dodie xx
love you dodie, this was brilliant, I'm oh so very proud of you!
0 likesYou just said every feeling I've ever had. You're truly my hero and I adore you. Keep driving that beautiful bus love❤️
0 likesMy dearest Dodie, I've seen this video about a hundred times & in May I was able to write a song with someone I love a lot. That song is called "life is a bus ride" because I've never been more inspired than by this beautiful video. I know the feeling you're describing & I feel like I need to say thank you. So thank you Dodie for hopefully not getting off my bus any time soon. X
2 likesJESUS YOUR HAIR WAS SO LONG
168 likesThis actually explains exactly how I've been feeling lately. Thank you for putting it into words. This makes me even prouder of you Dodie. Thank you for this.
0 likesThat description hit me so hard... Just crying my eyes out because I can relate so much. It's so easy to think you're out of that 'hole' though, then get dragged right back into it. Thanks for being honest Dodie, that's so brave of you but it can influence/ encourage so many people who need it. I respect you so much, thanks.
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@Sally Langan Gah I'm happy but also sorry you can relate!!!! it's not fun <3
18 likes@doddleoddle Not fun at all... just gotta fight through it,
0 likesI always watch this at my low times and it inspires me to find my ladder. So, thank you for all your videos they really do help. :-)
0 likesDodie honestly i love you so much, I have been going through the same thing you have and this just gave me so much hope to keep trying. Thank you for this, honestly ❤️
0 likesThank you for putting into words exactly how I'm feeling at the moment.
0 likesAs always some of the best content on this site :D. Endless kudos Dodie! This is a damn good bus! Keep your head up high :)
0 likesI've seen the whole thing 3 times, it's worth it we love you dodie <3
0 likesI love how honest you are
4 likesDodie, I've cried TWICE during this video. This was sooo good, honestly. Thank you for this 💕
0 likesThis video is amazing. Sometimes I feel so empty, so done and I can relate to everything you were talking about. I love you Dodie thank you <3
0 likesWatching dodie's troubles begin post ankle-death (0:50)
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Also, now having watched the video, ahh that was beautiful. So happy for you
0 likesBE MORE SPECIFIC NEXT TIME PLEASE I CRIED FOR AGES BECAUSE I HEARD ON ANOTHER COMMENT SHE WENT TO HOSPITAL AND I THOUGHT SHE DIED OH MY GOODNESS
0 likesI could just replay that ending forever oml-
1 likedodie you're so amazing.
you are loved by so many people and are such a big inspiration to almost everyone you meet.
you're talented, compassionate, so endearing and you just give off one of the most calm, positive energy.
please never stop doing what you're doing- you're one of the best people ever and I know I'm only one small person out of the entire world but I love you dodie, you're truly someone to admire and look up to <3
I'm so glad you're feeling better. We all love you, and can't wait until you're completely happy again! <3
0 likesFrankly, I cannot say I can relate to this video because I am very inexperienced when it comes to life. But I seriously fucking love this video so much. And I have to say Dodie, you're one of my favorite youtubers because you do things like this. It's not like you're sharing your entire life or something but you're showing your viewers things that really do help them through the tough times and it's just really nice. I don't know it just makes you seem more like a real person than just a normal, plastered on smile youtuber. I don't really have much of a point, but this video is important. It's really bloody important.
3 likesDoddie you just said it... That's all I can say. Thank you for being you xxx
2 likesI honestly really know the feel. This video was beautiful Dodie :) Keep climbing the ladder <3
0 likesWell this was pleasant :) I'm so happy you're having a good bus ride and that everything is shaping up. You really lived your life on this tour and all those ups and downs taught you something. Happy for you
0 likesTHIS HAS CHANGED MY LIFE U ARE AMAZING DONT FORGET THAT and I know mental health issues are crap (I have anxiety ) but keep doing what u love and what makes u happy xx
0 likeswhenever I'm having an extra bad day or generally feeling like crap I go to this video. It makes me feel less alone and it also helps me believe that one day everything will get better and I'll be the happy, confident person I was before
1 likethis is honestly my favorite video you've ever made and it makes me cry every time i watch it i love you soso much
0 likesI loved this video Dodie :) Oh and your hair looked absolutely amazing in this!!!
0 likesYou're never alone Dodie, and don't you forget it. We'll always be right here when you need us.
1 likeI feel so happy and tingly and asdfwjbjsdglkv
9 likesThank you, Dodie :)
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@***** :))
4 likesDodie!! This was so beautiful and amazing and I don't even what to say....this was just perfect ❤️❤️
0 likesI've never seen someone describe this feeling so accurately. What an amazing video, and what an amazing person you are. Thank you.
0 likesthis was so beautiful. Beyond words, Dottie. Thank you for sharing :)
0 likesYou're so beautiful, inside and out. <3 Thank you for being so raw with us, and for sharing your story.
0 likesThis is beautiful. The way she tells her story, how she felt and changed her view on situations (etc), everything about it is worth watching it again and again. I could write so much more.. but I shut up now.
2 likes(I know she won't read this, but still: ) Thank you for sharing that part of your journey with us. :)
I've had a few colourful, happy days myself recently too, and they've made me feel so good! I'm glad your colourful days are great memories for you too look back on, lots of love Xxx
0 likesTHAT WAS AMAZING AND NOW I FEEL LIKE CRYING AND I NEVER CRY BUT I ACTUALLY LOVE YOUR VIDEOS AND YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON STUFF. Ok bye
0 likesDodie, you're so real and amazing and it's so difficult to find people like you these days and that's why i love you <3
0 likesDodie, this was so raw and beautiful. You know theres an old saying, a tiny patch of blue sky is enough to make a sailor a pair of trousers. Odds are once you finally see that little bit of blue, the weather will fine up and the sun will slowly come out.
10 likesIm so glad to see that you are slowly finding your little bit of blue sky on a cloudy day.
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@Caitlin F :D wow!
3 likesthis video is so beautiful dodie thank you for being honest and wonderful <3 much love
0 likesI want to stay on your bus forever <3
50 likesThank you for this, Dodie! Everyone needs that "It Gets Better" message sometimes. Really, thank you. Sending you love and good vibes and happy to be on the bus with you!! <3
0 likesThis video is amazing! I cried, laughed and smiled like a loon but honestly you have made me feel so comforted and your burger theory and bus metaphor is so relatable! Thank you for being so inspiring and for sharing this video with the world! A huge thank you Dodie!!😘💗
0 likesI loved this video! The best part, however, when i opened the description i read your passage. I really saw what kind of person you are...thank you for adding such originality and beauty to this world, keep your head up ! XD
0 likesI just..wow. You're such an inspiration to me, Dodie. Love you ^.^ <3
0 likesDodie, it's 1am, I'm crying my eyes out and shaking on the corner of my bed. I just love you so much and I just can't. I'm so proud of you
0 likesThank you so much for sharing this with us. You deserve all the colours in the spectrum :)
0 likesThank you for making this <3 I had an experience similar to the bouncy castle day, when suddenly going on a carousel was like the best thing ever :)
0 likeswow as someone with depression this video hit me hard in the best way, I don't know wether to cry or smile :L
1 likeWhat a beautiful and honest video. Sending so much love and so many hugs your way x
0 likesThis means the world to me, thank you for sharing ❤
0 likesI was so into this whole video. u are a beautiful person with an amazing heart<3
0 likesOh my god, this hit me so hard. I've suffered with depression for two years now...and this just gave me an entirely new perspective. No, I won't be cured in a day, but thank you for this video it truly truly made me happier.
0 likesLove you Dodie
I laughed and cryed so much in this video, is not even normal <3 I love you Dodie
0 likesI almost cried at the end, I had been feeling the same way lately and this is so relateable to my situation, your videos bring me joy and I aspire to be like you, so, thank you <3 luv ya
0 likesI'm glad you're starting to feel better, lovely. and I'm glad you bus is full ^_^
7 likesI love you lots and lot and lots
also the adventure time piano is so so so cute
I don't know what else to say. I'm so proud of how far you've come
also #chibby (you cutie)
I know when I'm feeling down, I can come and just watch this video because it is so beautiful Thank you dodie- you have helped soo much!
0 likesily xxx
so so glad that you're feeling better now and seeing colour (and loving cats)!
0 likesyou're the lovliest :)
dodie i just want to let you know that this is one of my favorite videos you have ever posted. you are such a wonderful and inspiring person, and i am so grateful you take time to share your life with us on youtube. i'm so happy you are feeling better. xxxx
0 likesThis is probably my favourite video. It gives me goosebumps every time and makes me look forward too growing up no matter how scary it may seem. Thank you Dodie xx
0 likesOn another note, I've been going through much the same thing and have recently had to start going to a therapist for panic attacks and all that crap and she's just making me feel worse 😔
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@Isobel Dixon keep going until you find someone who works for you <3
18 likesthis is incredibly amazing i cried so much o my lord! you described depression so accurately and so beautifully i cant put it into words how much this video means to me, thank you doddie for being so crazy talented and lovely<3
0 likesI love the way you explain things in this video - especially the strangely accurate burger metaphor. I felt that really 'resonated' with me (whatever the hell that means). I'm so impressed you have the courage to open up like this and I only hope and pray things continue to turn around and you continue to see the positives and incredible joy in the world around you. :) xx Love from Australia
1 likethis is one of the most beautiful things i've seen in a long time...thanks, dodie :)
0 likesthis was an incredible video. i've felt like this for so long but never been told it's depression or anything but thank you for your life
0 likesOh Dodie this made me cry I love you so much and am glad to be on your bus xxx
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@redalert BEA I TOLD YOU TO SLEEP ( I love you )
10 likes(love you) xx
1 likeI loved this so much, I've been feeling this way recently and hopefully after next friday it will settle down a bit. You're not alone my wonderful pretty friend and soon (when I finish Uni) we should go out and chat and laugh and sing and do something wonderful and enjoy our adultness (metaphors n all).
0 likesPS. your bus will be a double decker in no time <3
You made me cry, Dodie. My life has been pretty down lately, and I can really relate to what you've said. You've helped me feel better, even if its just a tiny bit. I love you! ♥
0 likesThis may be my favorite video of yours because it's so genuine. I love the burger metaphor. That's exactly how I've experienced to depression
0 likesThis made me cry so much but I'm so so SO happy that your feeling hope and pure happiness Dodie. We all love you so much and I'll be on your bus ride forever <3
1 likethis is such a wonderful video, so honest and insightful. thanks dodie <3
0 likesThis is literally exactly how I feel in life right how. With the bus metaphor and everything I just started crying because I can relate to you so much.
0 likesAhh I love this, so incredible and emotional. I love you so much. I would give anything to ride your bus xx
0 likesDodes, this is amazing and this isn't just coming from an empty heart. I found you just recently and it's amazing how you've affected my life :) You inspire me and when I saw you, I thought about how you've been the realest Youtuber so far- that your channel isn't all perfection and etc. That bus has one late passenger, but I'm riding anyway :)
0 likesThe burger analogy is so accurate. Thank you for being honest and bringing this into discussion without shame. Love you.
0 likesYou worded this all so perfectly! So many emotions 😝 x
0 likesThis is like, the 3rd or 4th time I've watched this and it still just makes me feel fuzzy inside and happy and i just love seeing people doing things they've always wanted to and starting to feel better <3
0 likesGlad you're feeling colour again and I just wanted to let you know how beautiful you look in this video; the hair, the cardigan, the owl - so gorgeous :)
0 likesTHIS WAS BEAUTIFUL DODIEEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH
0 likesI'm so happy that I got a ticket for your bus. Thank you so much for doing so many things in favor of others Dodie. I love you and your videos.
0 likesFor some reason it felt so good when you talked about depression and that you actually started feeling again, and had some really good days. It gives me hope for my own future! Thank you dodie!!!!
1 likeI hope you are well! I love you!
This is how I've been feeling after I started school this year. For most of my life I've always been afraid to show my true colors and really express myself. I hated school because I was so afraid of being judged. But last year at school was one of the best years of my life so far because I had so many friends that loved me for who I am and I felt like I could be myself. Now I am back to being afraid of people judging me. I'm not happy but I'm not sad. I'm just blah. It's hard to be happy when your always paranoid that someone is laughing about you behind your back or judging you. It's hard to be happy when your hiding who you really are.
1 likeoh my god dodie I genuinely cried at the end. And I'm not a big crier, I could probably count on my fingers the amount of times something like this has moved me to tears.
18 likesI'm so glad you're starting to feel better, and it can only go up from here. Thank you for introducing me to the bus metaphor- it made me realise that although I may be going over some bumpy roads at the moment I have a bus full of amazing and wonderful people to support me! <33
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@avengingechelon oh lovely!!! Thank you so much <3 try and enjoy the bumps or some other metaphor that means good luck lol
13 likes<33
this made me really vvvv emotional. I have a feeling i kinda understand how you feel and i really hope you will feel a lot better as soon as possible.
0 likesthis was such a beautiful video and i cried my eyes out. i really love you dodie, you're great and please stay happy ♥
i absolutely love the way bry says ,"if you're going to break it, break it right"
0 likesI am incredibly happy for you! You are amazing, keep on rocking! I am honoured to have a seat on your bus!
0 likesI really admire the strength it must've took to both edit and upload this... I can relate to you so so much. So thank you, this video summed up a lot, and I'm so happy that you're feeling happy! I'm kinda in awe of you and I really can't fathom the fact that my best friend and I are going to see you and Bri perform here in NZ in like only a months time! AHHHHH x
0 likesOKAY I'M GONNA SLEEP NOW BUT I HAVE TEARS DOWN MY EYES I LOVE YOU
4 likesI appreciate you so much, every video I watch I fall more in love with your brain. You won't see this, but hey it's the thought that counts (:
0 likesHey Dodie! I'd just like to say thank you so much for this video, because I've been feeling especially shitty lately but watching this video has made me feel a bit better and a lot more hopeful :-)
0 likesI came back to this video having watched it 6 years ago . I remember crying and it bringing me so much comfort. Thanks Dodie 🥰
0 likesThis is such an amazing video, it has inspired me to love myself and I am so relieved that I have stumbled upon it. You have no idea how much I relate to this video, and I am so grateful for it. Thank you for sharing this video, and thank you for talking about everything so beautifully and honestly, and thank you for sharing such an inspirational journey with awesome metaphors, thank you doddlevloggle. This video means a lot.
0 likesthis video made me laugh and cry and it was brilliant! I loved every moment of watching it, so thanks for being so honest
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@Bonnie Leigh // TeenyLittleBirds :)!!
2 likesWow, that last part had me in tears and I didn't even see them coming!
0 likesYou're so brave for telling us this, and I love your metaphors... I just wish I was as brave as you to talk about something that I find quite personal and hard to talk about,
How did you bring up the courage?!
You're an amazing human being Dodie and your videos bring a smile to my face, thank you for being you! xx
I get you so well!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, it makes me feel less alone. And you're incredibly brave for putting yourself out there so often and in such an immense way even though depression mostly makes you feel like hiding... I hope I can be as brave as you in two years when I turn 20 :) Cute Video!
1 likeI love you so much, wow. I relate to what you said so hard and it makes me really happy to know that you're starting to feel better. You're such a beautiful bundle of sunshine. <3
0 likesballing my eyes out.
0 likesNever have i ever had someone explain how i feel inside, honestly the most relatable video i've seen in a long time. Thank you Dodie! ♡
LOVE YOU
the burger analogy is so true it's the worst thing in the world ever and sometimes I can't even get to the point where the burger feels warm or looks good to me in any way but there are some days that break me out of it a little bit and your birthday was one of them it's one of the happiest times I've had in so long I don't think I've ever been surrounded by so many happy friendly people and getting to meet them and the fact that you seemed like you actually kinda were happy to see me idk man it was just the best time so thank you a lot a lot a lot for that sorry for the long comment idk it's almost 1am thank you sorry bye
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@NotJustBlonde oh zAAANNNAAHHHHH I adore you so much! Thank you for keeping my sane on that crazy crazy day <3
5 likesThat was lovely... I've lost quite a few friends and family as well recently, but your video really helped remind me of the importance of appreciation... You're spectacular; I hope your newfound happiness continues for a really long time <3
0 likesThe end of this video made me cry so much. You don't deserve to be depressed when all you do is make people smile. You are the best person ever and I hope you don't always feel like poo.
1 likeAlso, can all of us join the bus?
I feel like I dont have anyone on my bus at the moment and it's so crappy. This video made a lot of sense, thank you x
0 likesI'm so proud of you for sharing this! I am honored to be on your bus. As far as all of the feelings, me too. This is how I've been feeling for a long time.
0 likescant stop watching this video. i really find it difficult to explain what's happening in my damn brain and the way this whole video just flows together gives me a sense of security (ik that sounds super weird bc it's just a video but yeah...) thank you for everything dodie ^-^
2 likesHad no idea Dodie literally in tears, glad you had such a wonderful day!x
0 likesI've been so excited for this video since you first mentioned it and I definitely wasn't disappointed, this was so lovely and inspirational and awesome - love you lots 😊
0 likesDODIE!!!
0 likesThis video is so amazing and centering and I'm just kinda sitting here paralyzed. Thank you so much for being so freaking honest. The best videos are just sitting and talking. And thank you for just talking to us and showing us a bit of who you are. Love you!
i love you so much dodie, i feel the same way a lot of the time and this made me feel less alone about it, thank you for making this video.
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I'm having the worst experience of empty bus right now so I rewatched this. I don't really know what to do anymore it has been like this for the longest time and I don't see myself feeling normal or even happy any time soon. I am just not capable of filling my own bus. NEW ANALOGY i feel like life is like trying the beanboozled challenge (BEAR WITH ME), you don't know whether you'll get the nice tasting bean or the gross tasting one and everyone around you tells you that its worth playing for the few good ones you might come across but your luck sucks and you have a chain of bad tasting ones and for you its better not to even play the game at all, its not worth it.
1 likeI love your videos so much! I hope you feel better soon <3
0 likesThis was one of the most honest and incredible videos I have ever seen. I'm not going to pretend I know you well, but from what I have seen, I think you are truly wonderful human. Thank you for sharing this video with us, from the bottom of my heart I wish you the best.
1 likeSo I'm now going to be late since I'm sitting on my bed in tears after this ❤️ never forget how much we all love you and there are so many of us who understand the type of feelings you have gone through 💕✨
0 likesI wish I was on your bus :) you seem like such a lovely human. thank you for uploading this dodie x
0 likesOh wow, crying a lot rn.
0 likesThank you for letting me get on the bus, it's been the best journey I've ever been on :) love u x
Your Manchester gig was incredible Dodie! I had such a great time, you were so lovely and yeah, keep it up beautiful, you're seriously fantastic. xx
0 likesDodie,
0 likesI really appreciate you posting this video. I was going through a period of not feeling much at all and it was rough. It helped to see someone express my feelings exactly in a way that I couldn't explain to myself. I'm happy to say that I'm starting to taste the burger again. Thank you so much.
I feel like in the moment where dodie says, "what an awful metaphor" we see some of the most true dodie...
1 likeDodie this was amazing. It's also something that you now have to keep, forever and look back on whenever you want or need! I really enjoyed watching the little journey you took us all on, and we are all here to support you whatever road your bus goes down next! HUGS! XX
0 likesI love this video so much. You put into words so many of my feelings. I was at the Dublin gig, sorry if we overwhelmed you. I didn't get to say hi but I completely understand why. I glad you are starting to feel better and I want to give you a really big hug.
0 likesDodie, this was beautiful. Thank you for sharing how you actually feel instead of pretending to be okay. Depression is the worst feeling in the world, but you, I, and many other people, can get better. Because the world is amazing, and bright, and happy. It's full of adventures and wonderful friends- we just have to know where to look :) xx
0 likesYour videos have felt very different since you got back, in a great, weird, interesting way and I hope you are feeling better Dodie! So proud of you!
0 likesThis is one of my favourite videos of yours dodie :) you are so amazingly brilliant! I'm actually crying😂. Anyone who is on your bus is extremely lucky :)
0 likesI reallyreallyreally need to go to bed so I can't watch this BUT I did read your little letter in the description and like honestly how dare you make me tear up like that? No but seriously, you're such a great human and I can't wait to watch this first thing tomorrow morning because you are greatgreatgreat
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@Margot Vandersmissen Hi Margot :-)
1 like@Margot Vandersmissen sleeeeeep indeed! thank you for reading the letter :D I hope you like it tomorrow!
5 likes@doddleoddle HELLO update I just watched the video and honestly you're one of my favourite creators on this entire website and this video was GREAT, I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better!
1 likeThankyou so much for sharing. It's nice to know you're not alone :) so beautiful to see you happy Dodie x
0 likesI cried and smiled from this video. Thank you dodie for all the videos you've given everyone of us. It's not easy to openly say things like this but when you did and became happier I felt happy too and just thank you so much dodie :)
0 likesThe thing that got me through my teenage years, especially the later ones, was having an older friend who'd suffered much the same, but he'd come out on the other side okay and told me it would get better. And it did. And it still is. Things aren't perfect, but I'm 23 now, and rarely experience the deep dark depression I used to feel.
1 likeI feel it's important to get that message out there, that it does get better. It's probably one of the most helpful things you can believe, even if not always.
Stay strong, you'll make it through =)
I really really appreciate this video and your honesty and your somewhat awe inspiring look on life. Keep being you Dodie! Much love x
0 likesI am so in awe of how honest and real you are. Thank you so much dodie.
0 likesGIVES YOU A HUGE HUG
0 likesI know that feeling, I'm happy you're feeling better now :)
Oh dodie this made me cry 😢 I'm so so over the moon that you are happy, thank you for tour because it was one of the best nights and I hope to see you again really soon xxxx
0 likesoh dodie i have so so so much love and respect for you <3
0 likesI've never enjoyed watching a 20 minute youtube video so much. The editing, sharing little details such as the tattoo, but most of all the fact that everything you said here was so beautiful and the way you explained and shared the way you feel was htgrwefaibnjrsf. Keep doing what you do and stay strong, you clearly have many people who love you :)
0 likesthis is honestly one of my favourite videos on the internet i love it so much
0 likesI honestly had no idea how much I needed this video in my life. It's my new favorite. I will always come back to it whenever I'm having "those days". It has such great messages and agh I love it so much. Thank you so so much Dodie. Xxx
0 likesI love this so much. Love ya Dodie!
0 likesIt's nearly 5 am where I am and I'm just sat here on my bed crying my eyes out I'm so happy for you Dodie I'm not really sure what to say you just describe everything perfectly and your videos help me a lot thanks also I love you
0 likesYour videos make me so happy!! this is my favourite one yet! the burger metaphor was literally perfect aha I could relate so much. please carry on making videos like this you are a lovely human <3
0 likesThis metaphor describes my entire life! Thank you for being so raw, first time I've properly related about this :) <3
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Omg the second metaphor as well💓
0 likesI'm 25....and i feel so so old :( Btw i think this is one of my fav vids of yours simply because it feels very honest and true.
0 likesThis vlog is so amazing and inspiring. I really love it. I admire your courage. Sometimes I get stage fright just by watching big crowds in youtube videos lol .... Hundreds of people gives me anxiety, what's wrong with me? lol .. . Poor uke btw. that was horrible!! I know I'm a musician.
0 likesthis is now my favourite vlog of all time. of all youtube, really
0 likeslove you dodie and have a great burger/bus :)
Only just seeing this and I'm so proud of you! Remember all of us on on your bus and we're never getting off. You can't get rid of us that easy ;)
0 likesThis was so nice to watch! :) ❤️👏🏻
0 likesI appreciate you're ability to be vulnerable to help the community with an issue such as depression. It is difficult to articulate and so is misconstrued, people avoid discussing it as a result. But using your platform to raise awareness on personal issues is brave and so I just wanted to say, Thank you xx
4 likesReplies (1)
@Olivia Mitchell :)
1 likeThis made me cry so much, I hope you're happy dodie and I wish you all the luck in life
0 likesIt's so crazy watching this video back. I still relate to this so much and I think it really links to both depression and depersonalisation. This is exactly how I'm currently feeling about comic con, and I'm so scared because I want to enjoy it so much. This burger analogy explains my head very well, as do most of your analogies. I just wanna say, thank you for helping explain my own brain as well in addition to your own. You've helped me understand myself more, and become slightly more comfortable with what is actually possibly wrong with me. You've gr9 Dodie!
10 likesIs that a piano cover of BriBry's Adventure Time I'm hearing in the background...? Anywaaays loved this video and watched all of it. You're a fantastic person Dodie.
1 likeI think my heart just cried a little...the amount of things you said that I related to...I surprised myself. Thank you so much for making this, Dodie. From the bottom of my heart. Luf u <3
0 likesHoly shit this was incredible! This honestly was one of the best videos on YT I have ever seen (and I've seen a lot). How do you do it that you just stay genuine and yourself I love that. You are such an amazing person and a youtuber. You deserve it all and more and even though I've never even met you I feel so happy for you and "your bus full of lovely people" :)
0 likesThank you so much for sharing that Dodie, such an honest and beautiful video. Congrats! (You are so awesome and no one hates you!)
0 likesAs someone who feels their bus is empty after everyone I've sat with has gotten off, this is really refreshing and nice to hear, thank you so much!
0 likesOh dodie this literally hits me so hard i've been having such a rough rough time and seeing people like you and how you get through things calms me down so so much. People like you are such great things in this world, you serve as a reminder that no matter what things will get atleast a little bit better. Thank you, thank you for being here
0 likesI have to get up for my exams in 5 hours, and I'm sat here crying my eyes out. I find it so hard to explain what's going on in my brain sometimes, and it scares me when people find those words and I relate to them. It makes everything seem so much more real.
8 likesI'm terrified I'm not going to find my ladder, because every time I think I'm getting better, it gets so much worse.
I'm just glad I have someone as brave and amazing as you to look up to
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@Emily Pickup TRUST ME
6 likesyou will find a ladder!!!! if it's been a while and you can't find it please oh please book an appointment, reach out to someone
my friends helped me back up, but don't you dare stop until you find someone else who can help you!
xxx
I've tried Dodie, I've spoken to friends, I've seen counselors, nothing helps and inevitably I end up feeling worse because of it.
0 likesMaybe I'm just one of those people destined to not be happy.
@Emily Pickup It may not mean much, but I saw this and had to say, that I have not so long ago felt EXACTLY how you feel.
0 likesIt seems endless, it's so tiring, and it is so dark. But things can change so quickly, and you can feel good again.
Find someone, anyone, anywhere that understands you, and talk to them. In life, on the internet, even if it's in your head for now! Talk it through with someone who gets it.
And good luck.
Just know that it will get better. Keep pushing through. Try not to think in 'nevers' - try to change it to an if or a when. If you feel lonely on your bus, know that there are a million and one other people who know how you feel. They might be strangers, but they could be that person on the bus who gives up their seat because you look tired and that you should sit down.
1 likeOne of the best things about YouTube is that there is a huge community of people who you don't necessarily know, but are ready and willing to help you if ever you need it.
Stay strong. <3
The burger-depression analogy IS SO GOOD. I'm going to start using it when people don't understand, thanks dodes
0 likesI've been there. It's a pretty dark hole. But it's always great when you grow some wings and fly up out of it!! :) I'll always be thinking of you and I'm so happy for everything you've achieved x
0 likesI know I'm late finding your videos but this video is amazing. So raw. Great cuts. Full of emotions.
0 likesJust love it.
god Dodie you're so awesome xD! Super proud of you talking to people when feeling down, you're doing life right :)
0 likes- lots of love from a random stranger who doesn't know you but admires you loads for some reason xx
I totally understand the burger analogy.
12 likesBut I think that this goes for me as well as other people, but its like you spend the rest of your teenagehood trying to figure out which burger you want. You pick burgers after burgers and you keep sending them back because you don't like them. But the people around you suggest which burger that you should get and you try them out. All of your friends seem to be really happy with their burgers and your parents seem to order the same thing. You still don't know which one you want and once you finally figure out which burger you want, its time to leave the restaurant and they urge you to go to a, I don't know, Mexican restaurant. So you decide to take the burger out- to finish with other restaurants. And, yeah when you look back, you wish you kept the burgers. In the moment, the burger seemed really bland and gross but when you look back, it was the greatest burger you've ever tasted.
Replies (2)
@whoishahong DAMMIT WE SHOULD HAVE SOMETHING LESS EXPENSIVE
10 likes@whoishahong oh yeah, and if that burger is the best burger you've ever tasted but then you realize it wasn't even a really good burger after all? that's what i'm most afraid of. you hear people saying teenage years and high school years are the best days of your life and i sit here thinking what if i'm wasting my time and it will all just get even worse from here and what if in 5 or 10 years i don't even have anything to look back on? ugh scary stuff
2 likesSO PROUD OF YOU! :) I love you!! <3 xx Stay safe xx
0 likesThis was 20 min?!?!?!? I didn't even notice - I enjoyed every second of it. So raw and heartfelt <3
0 likesMe and my friend are in this video😁💖, I loved yours and BriBry's 2015 tour, and I love your tattoo, love you both💖
0 likesoh dodie i'm crying! this last week, i've started feeling good again, for the first time in a number of months. it feels like the dial's been switched back up, i don't know how or why this happened, but im so glad that it has. i could really relate, thank you for this video xxx
0 likesi've watched this video like a dozen times and every time i watch it want to give dodie a hug and talk to her about life like we're just two friends who trust each other with our thoughts and feelings
0 likesI try not to define my emotions so much by using the words of others but that burger metaphor and pretty much everything you said in this video was hard hitting as hell. I really cannot stress enough how vastly I appreciate your vulnerability.
2 likesyou are amazing Dodie,I love you<3
0 likesI enjoyed this so much, Dodie. You're such an exceptional person and when I watch anything you make I feel like a sponge soaking up all kinds of nutritious goodness.
10 likesAND DAT PRETTY LADY AT 15:00 MADE MY HEART GO BOOM BOOM.
Thank you for taking us along on your virtual bus ride - wherever it goes, I am glad to be on it with you!
0 likesSo that video made me cry. Really well-spoken and candid and I can relate a lot. Thank you for sharing! I'm glad you had a great time on tour!
0 likesdodie you make me so happy :) my world feels so much more colorful every time you show up in it!
0 likes12:20 "I'd had lines for weeks"
14 likesDodie for drug addict confirmed.
Replies (2)
@Prehistoricman lmao
8 likes@doddleoddle Now I feel sorry for posting something silly when everybody else is writing deep feels. It's amazing how you're replying to everybody! You're very good for that.
3 likesTell you what, 3 or 4 years ago, I felt pretty bad without showing much of it. I would be sad alone, and come back the next day without seeming any different. Last year or so, things have picked up so much. The people I'm around are much more supportive than they used to be, and negativity I do feel just isn't as bad. My ladder was a rather slow one, but thankfully I'm fine for now.
This is definitely one of my all time favourite dodie videos
0 likes!8:31 YESSSS thank you that made my day, it sums up what a large part of youtube has become!! Love you Dodie!!
0 likesReplies (1)
@MRgingerandiknowit01 18:31 lol i tried
0 likesI just really love steven okay like he is always so positive and happy in dodie's vlogs omG
0 likeswatching this again <3 STOP MAKING ME CRY DODIE! xx
0 likesI love this video, but I also really love your letter in the description! It does get better and the world is nice!
0 likesI love this video , I love that you found some happiness because you deserve that and so much more. So cheesy sorry but I love you x
0 likesaw it makes me so happy that you were able to finish the tour feeling genuinely happy. awk I feel like your mother even though I'm like 6 years younger than you aaghh
0 likesI watched this video at exactly the right time, I can see a bit more hope now than before. thank you for giving me a little push towards it xox
0 likesOMG I'm actually in tears right now, you have such a good way of putting words. My life goal is to one day collab with you, no joke. I love you so much Dodie!!!
0 likesAnd ps:
I would buy a million tickets just to be on that bus☺️❤️
This video spoke a lot to me, thank you for making it, Dodie.
0 likesThis made me tear up a little, because maybe now I understand myself and my feelings a little better... Anyways, a beautiful video, enjoyed it very much!
0 likesI'm so flippin proud of you for uploading this! ^-^
0 likesIt's the second time I watch this and I love it, one of your best videos. :)
0 likesThis explained things that have been happening in my head... Thank you
0 likesThis is just beautiful! Absolutely beautiful.
0 likes5 months later. Hope that happy feeling is still popping in, and staying for a while.
0 likesyou have such a wonderful way with words Dodie! I'm sorry you've felt like this, I have depression too and it is the worst thing ever but I'm glad we're both starting to see in colour now. This video gives me hope, really appreciate hearing your beautiful voice and the kind words you share <3
0 likesI was all happy and smiley and thought this was super cute and kinda sad and then you got to the end it just...struck a chord in me and now I'm crying.
0 likesI'm in tears. This video was amazing. I think it may be one of my favourite videos you have ever put up.everyone I watch you, I get really empathetic and its kind of amazing. When you talked about the call from Bri about your ukulele I got anxious and worried and when I saw it i genuinely felt down and sad because it's everywhere on your channel. When you went to the up and go event and out with friends I felt genuinely happy and excited. Your videos are amazing. Stay strong and keep up the amazing work.
0 likesI LOVED this, I hope you make more :)
0 likesBeautifully thoughtful video!
0 likesNot enough videos like this around!
This explains so greatly how depression is like and I think it would be a great message for people who don't take mental health seriously enough..
0 likesI wish you the best and we'll be on the bus if you're looking for us ♥ ♥
I watch this video a lot when I feel like I'm about to cry because it makes me feel better
0 likesThis Is Just Amazing. I Love You So Much. I Struggle With Depression And A Load Of Other Things. You Give Me Hope. I Love You.
0 likesThis was so ridiculously beautiful and heart-warming because it just felt so real. You're amazing, and I'm sorry you've had to go through all the shit that you've felt for the last few years. I'm sorry for everyone who has. Hell, everyone goes through shit, and there's no way around it, it's shit. So so glad you feel more optimistic now. I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through all this but also have so many people who love you but also rely on you. It must be tough being so amazing to all of us, but then being stuck with feeling shitty the moment you end the video. I just want you to know that we all love you, and I think you're amazing for being so open with us. It will help so many people. And if there's one thing I've learned in my 19 years hanging around this planet, is that there's nothing better than helping others. For them and for you. So much love sent your way :) xxx
4 likesReplies (2)
@Jamie Daly :) thank you thank you <3
1 like@doddleoddle you're so very welcome :) <3
0 likesjust thought i would let you know that you look incredibly lovely dodie x
0 likesI just went through so many emotions in such a short space of time gaaahhhh. Thank you for being so honest. You are wonderful and although I could feel your pain whilst watching that, I'm so glad that you're beginning to find your way back out of the hole. I think I am too, slowly, after 7 or so years. It's so refreshing. Keep going, fill that bus, and if anyone else gets off, remember that just leaves space for someone else to get on at the next stop xxx
1 likeIt's sad, but the only people I've found who can really understand depression are people who've had depression themselves :( This was a great video, Dodie xx
2 likesur metaphors are on point
0 likesbut seriously this was wonderful, i'm so glad things are looking up for you
#chibby same
5 likesbut dodie, I want you to know you mean the world to me. my life has been so very grey for so very long, but you really have added little dabs and tiny brushstrokes of colour to my grey empty canvas, and I hope that one day those little seemingly insignificant brushstrokes will build up, creating a vivid, colourful masterpiece.
see you soon, I hope to get off my empty bus and join you on your bus, that is, if I can find a space to sit down.
Replies (2)
@urbanangel <3
2 likes@doddleoddle <3 <3
0 likesThis video is so beautiful, I'm crying💖💖
0 likesThank you for uploading this. Like you said, depression isn't a quick fix, but your bus is never empty, you'll always have support <3
0 likesThat was a lovely video; can I say that when it deals with depression ? I think I should as you share the emotional battle of depression in a remarkably honest manner and you are amazing for doing so :)
0 likesThank you for this video. It gave me... hope, I guess it's what it is. Thank you so much for that!
0 likesI had never seen a video that had made me feel like I was so connected to someone until I watched this. I honestly felt like I've known you for years. Your ups and downs and everything in between. You are an absolutely amazing and inspiring woman. Might I mention that I play the uke because of you?! You are beautiful, intelligent, kind, and talented. I know a few words from someone you've never met won't make depression go away, but I have hope it will help you feel better. Keep on doing amazing things Dodie! I hope that one day I'll be able to meet you and give you the biggest hug that I've ever given anyone, not only because I'll be over the moon excited to see you, but also as a thank you, for being there for me, even though you don't know me. Love ya!! <3
3 likesReplies (1)
Omg I just found this comment again and it actually made me tear up. Little did I know I'd actually meet you a month after I posted that, and give you a huge hug and tell you how much you mean to me, and even get your signature and a few pictures. Thank you Dodie for being such a gem of a human being ❤️
1 likeThis made me cry Dodie.
0 likesNext time you feel alone remember that i'm in your bus xx
This was such a real and emotional video but in the most comforting way. I can relate to a lot of the things you said and to hear that you're starting to feel better gives me hope too xxx
0 likesp.s. where can I buy a ticket for your bus?
I get what you're saying, Dodie - I've done that plenty of times, when your brain just doesn't wanna connect with your emotions
0 likesI think your really great, inspirational, pretty, funny and cute and well you deserve better than what you have to deal with xx
0 likesstayed up for this even though I've got exams, I'm dedicated... hahaha
49 likesReplies (2)
@d0ntlookup with you on that!
1 like@Bootle Box. ahhh gang go to sleep! :'D
31 likesI am glad you found a bright day in the darkness of depression. I struggled with severe depression and understand the hopelessness it can force upon you, the rollercoaster ride of bleak and bright. Here is to many more days of color!
0 likesAlso, I love the green hair your friend has.
Dodie this is probably my favorite video youve ever made:)
0 likesWow can relate so much to this. I love you Dodie!
0 likesI'm so glad and happy for you that you're starting to feel better and I would really like to sit on your bus (n_n) take care!!
0 likesGenuinely cried there reading your letter in the description box. This video is amazing and I feel you, depression is really aweful and difficult. :( I've been so down lately that even my body started reacting strangely, my period stopped and I'm crying and having panic attacks all the time... Even though supposedly everything is fine. I'm 20, I study music, I'm co-directing and starring in an amazing musical, I'm going to Canada next year.. But I just can't seem to have my brain working. :( Thanks for this video <3
3 likesI don't know what to say other than I love you so much Dodie.<3
0 likesyou're so wonderful, Dodie!
0 likesThis is bloody beautiful! <3
0 likesDepression just kills me inside. I don't suffer from it but I was once very close to someone who was and I have a great understanding and empathy towards it and seeing you and this and the way you described it only enhanced my understanding and it kills me that people have to go through feeling that. The idea of it being inescapable and that someone is trapped without being able to do anything, just twists my insides and my heart. It hurts me to see someone go through this, I sincerely hope that the colour stays in your life, Dodie, I really do...
4 likesReplies (2)
@scottissuperawesome I'm holding on to it! Thank you so much and I'm sorry <3
2 likes@doddleoddle You have nothing to be sorry to me about, Dodie. Hang in there and stay strong! :)
0 likesDodie I love your videos so much! I also struggle with depression. I few years ago, I was the worst I have ever been. This video is such an amazing explanation of what that time in my life felt like. And even that bit at the end about the color coming back and looking at the pictures with happiness really hits me. There are still moments when I feel the depression kicking in but honestly it has made me so much more grateful for everything. I think of it as an unfortunate blessing because even though it was so hard and I didn't think I'd make it through the darkness, I have learned to live every day like it's the last. I know that's super cheesy and cliche. It's just when you cone so close to no longer being here...it makes every day a bit more spectacular. Thank you for being you and for being so inspirational and wonderful. <3 I really appreciate that you shared this with all of us :)
0 likesI loved this so much💛🙈it made me cry 😭
0 likesOh dodie, you're absolutely gorgeous, your videos have been touching me right in the tingles lately and I feel like we're similar, it's nice to see other people my age feeling like I do, I'm turning 20 in April this year, and I just wanted to tell you how much you inspire me <3 lots of love, Bonnie :)
0 likesI've never had depression and every day I appreciate that. However even for someone who has never experienced that kind of feeling over such a stretch of time I found that this still struck a chord with me. Perhaps its because I have seen people go through depression and overcome it, and I think that that is one of the most inspiring and beautiful things to witness. To see a persons strength and drive to overcome something like depression is truly humbling, so Dodie your video both humbled me and brought me to tears.
1 likeThis was the best 22. minuets and 19 seconds of my life.
3 likesahhhh i love this!!! you're amazing x
0 likesThis is beautiful 💖
0 likesActually probably one of the BEST youtube videos I have EVER seen :) I hope one day I get the pleasure of meeting you, you adorable, wonderful person, you!!!
0 likesi'm in tears like literally, i always feel like i can't enjoy the moment or i can't be happy, you resumed my life in the 2 last minutes of your video. I'd like to buy a ticket to get on your bus forever, to support you no matter what because you make me feel happy and i can't thank you enough. Love you so much and thank you
0 likeslove you dodie. never lose hope bab
5 likesI have severe anxiety, I can hardly leave my house. I look back on last Summer so fondly because I was so happy, but all of my friends have gone to uni or gone travelling and I feel so lonely on my bus. I hope you feel better soon, I hope I do too. This video was wonderful x
0 likesgoosebumps and tears. i love you so much dodie💘
0 likesUr channel is one of the best things ever. It's so amazing.
0 likesVideos like this are why YouTube should exist. Thank you for sharing this with us!
0 likesI wish this dodie could see 2020 dodie
5 likesThis video is beautiful in every way, just like you <3 <3
0 likesI love that you can talk about your depression so openly. I have depression and I try and use my music to help me and I love your original songs and covers. Also your channel is awesome! :P
0 likesI'm actually crying. I've felt this way for so long, years, and it just doesn't seem to be getting any better. Thank you for the smidgen of hope. I'll be back here daily.
0 likesYou are one of my favourite youtubers 💕 btw I was at the Dublin show in the front row and I saw myself in the vlog also it was so lovely meeting you
0 likesShe's so small. I want to hug her.
3 likesThis has to be one of the best, most honest and understated videos. That was just beautiful and so happy that you're happy now. Sending you hugs xx
0 likesThis made me feel, and cry, and I haven't felt anything or cried in what, 3 years? and this made me feel so.. hopeful. thank you. so much.
0 likesThat was so honest... Ty. We love you Dodie <3
0 likesFirst of all, Dodie I really love you. Honestly one of my favourite youtubers ever!
0 likesSecond, I love the font in the thumbnail. Does anyone know what it is? I want to make my hand writing like it.
Thanks :)
i have severe anxiety. i live my life in constant fear and forever looking over my shoulder. i avoid anything that makes me feel worried and seeing you social and really talkative to people, i envy you so much. i know there isn't anything you can do to help me or give me advice but i would like to ask you if you could, in anyway, advice me to be social despite of my social and general anxiety
2 likesi cried multiple times and am still crying. thank you for being you.
0 likes17:51 excuuse me, who is that handsome tanned guy?! ;D
0 likesThanks Dodie for being so honest. It's brave and I love what you wrote in the description. You are gonna be making others feel less alone.
I just love you Dodie. You are simply amazing.
0 likesOllie, Sam&Luke have a special place in my heart❤️😊
0 likesAny one else thinking about "the incident" when she jumped down from the hotel bunk bed?
45 likes1:03
Replies (3)
what is it???
0 likes+Anamika Mahesj recently she sprained her ankle jumping down from her loft bed, she passed out from the pain and when she got to the hospital they didn't even give her a splint to put it in or crutches
6 likesthis video was posted before she fell off the bed :)
3 likesThat funny random day is something you and bribry helped create for us, if I didnt go to that gig by myself then I wouldn't of met up with my mad friends and had the funniest train station moments and seen the bright colours around me. <3 thank you! X
1 likeThis is one of my favourite videos of all time, it takes so much courage to speak about your feelings to people, especially when it's thousands of people. I'm so happy for you, that you're starting to see how full your bus is and starting to see all the colours around you. Your metaphors and explanations hit home and it made me feel a lot better. Thank you for being so honest, and thank you for being you. xx
0 likesLove you, Dodie! I feel u! :)
0 likesThanks dodie for talking about things that no one else seems to, it makes me feel a little less crazy to know I'm not the only one
0 likesyou are so great
17 likesReplies (2)
i actually can't even deal with how unintentionally amazing this video it is. maybe its more unique to me because i've been in that exact tour world and stuff which is quite a weird thing to do anyway, but like i just related to everything you said like i've never related to anyone talking about this before? and also maybe i should just be texting you this or something but i feel like the world should know just HOW GR8 I THINK YOU R DODIE omg its like 2.23am wtf is going on ily goodnight xxx
12 likes@LaurenAquilinaMusic ah lauren words will never describe how much i lUV u
5 likesthank YOU for being just the bestest
<3
oh dodie. how i cry at this video. you are so amazing <3
0 likes3rd time I've watched this ❤ I cry every time!!!
0 likesAll the metaphors in this hit home for me. I really hope you feel great as soon as possible. I hope you get as happy as you make people. I love you and so do lots more of us.
0 likesJust had a little sob. Dodie, you are one beautiful person. Thank you.
0 likesoh my lorddd dodie noo u sweet little fluffy donut
36 likesI literally love you. You inspire me a looooot. I feel my bus is empty, but there is one person that still has there ticket. But that person has just got on. I hope he will stay on for the rest of my miserable life. You help me get over with whatever is truly wrong with me. I am depressed. I don't want to live anymore. Im sick and tired of being ran over and treated like a maid or servant. I want to leave this world and just float where the wind takes me. But you Doddleoddle make me (:
1 likegosh thank you so so much. years in the past and your videos still make me cry. please never stop doing this, your videos really help me to figure out my depression and all that comes with it. I love you and wish you the best x
1 likethis vid is so sweet and I love this omg I love you dodie
0 likesDear doddle,
0 likesI sometimes feel just like you!
And I'm genuinely afraid that depression will beat me.
Whenever I go through these episodes, I think of committing suicide, and I'm scared that one day I will. But this video gave me hope to defeat this shit, so thank you soooooo much for making it.
ily <3
oh man I really love you
9 likesReplies (1)
@Hannah Penner oh man xxxxxx
9 likesDodie. Keep moving through the dark ally way. I promise you, you will get through it. <3 I cried multiple times while watching this . xx Keep Strong!
0 likesDodie, you are wonderful. Thank you.
0 likeswow dodie this was beautiful YOU are beautiful!!! I hope you can always look back at this and feel this same happiness that somehow shines through all the darkness of yesterday.. so much love for you <333
0 likes'my brain hasn't been working for the past year or two' this explains it perfectly, everytime you try to fix it and be happy, you can't because you brain doesn't allow you to, it just doesn't work and it's so frustrating because you can't understand why
0 likesthank you for this video dodie, it felt like a warm hug which i very much needed <3
I am not crying. Not crying. Not at all. Gosh.. I love you Dodie. I really do.
3 likesReplies (2)
Dobby, you are all over dodie's channel :))
0 likes@I'mSoDun I LOVE HER!!! <3 <3
3 likesDodie this video literally made my day, I love you and your videos and you just make me feel, well I can't explain how you make me feel but it feels so amazing, you just have something about you that makes me feel happy and uplifted x your beautiful, have a gorgeous voice and have the cutest personality. Don't worry about the people who have "left your bus" you have amazing friends who will be there for you any time and you have amazing fans! I'm pretty sure it is illegal to be as amazing as you are, but somehow you get away with it, just remember you're Dodie and there is no way anyone could possibly not love you <3 I know this probably makes no sense but I really can't explain it! love you loads Dodie, -Audrey
0 likesWow. This just makes it so clear. I've never suffered with depression and I know that because of that I won't understand it properly. I find not being able to understand so difficult because all I want to be able to do is help. You, Dodie, are the first person I've seen who has explained depression in a way that makes people who haven't suffered from it feel as though they aren't so far away from supporting those who are suffering. Thank you for helping us to understand more.
0 likesI really wish were friends. I feel like we relate on so many levels and it's a shame that we'll probably never get the chance to become friends because if we did I think we'd become great friends.
1 likeDodie, I just want you to know that you made a girl in Brasil happier :)
0 likescan you make a video about friendship? and brain not workingness? and making friends? Please ;-;
3 likesThis video is so beautiful, honest, and just everything. I understand how you feel so bad, and I just want to say thank you. Thank you Dodie for talking about this I appreciate it so much. I've quite a lot going on at the moment and my mood goes up and down all the time. And yes ''this should be fun, right?'' yes, for other people maybe, but I'm not enjoying it and I don't know why. I try to enjoy things and sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. But, Dodie, I appreciate your honesty, I've always done. You always make me feel better, so thank you. I'm glad you see positive things again, I slowly start seeing them as well and I hope everyone slowly does, I really do. We all deserve to live. <3
0 likesThank you so much for saying this, it's nice to know I'm not alone with these feelings. You will get to that place of happiness and genuineness. I promise, because you are just that awesome. I don't pretend to know you but you drive for emotions. You try to live to the fullest. You have no idea how much ur videos help me. Thank you
0 likesThank you I needed this video so much right now
0 likesKeep strong and I will try to do the same
btws I love u
I know you probably won't read this this but I just want to say~
1 likeI love you so much. Since I started watching your videos, I've felt so much better. Your videos have helped me (and many others) to feel happier and less alone. Thank you. I hope that you feel better very soon, as you deserve to be the happiest you can. We all love you so much, please never forget that.
cool now im crying
3 likesI love this video Dodie <3
0 likesYay congrats on 300,000 subscribers on this channel xx
2 likesOh Dodie, you made me cry but im so flippin happy for you. ily and all your content so much and youre just so amazing. <33
0 likesDodie you're an absolute Darling and i'm so proud of you xxxx
0 likesI didn't know a bus could make me cry so much.
3 likesWow, this video will mean more to people than you might ever know. Keep thinking colorfully dodie <3
0 likesthat lovely day you talk about, i can see that that day must be special. It looked lovely, i hope you have more days like that one, i hope everyone does. That day would have been my favorite day too. Stay happy dodie xx
0 likesdodie,i love you so much. This video is so good and i just have no words for this comment,i'm speechless <3
0 likesI genuinely finished watching this about twenty minutes ago and I didn't cry and I've been reading the comments and OH GOD NOW IM SOBBING
1 likeI missed you in Dublin!!!!!! Sorry!!!! I am crying literally😭
7 likesThank you Dodie, you absolute sweetheart you
0 likesThat ending really friggen got me cause I'm currently floating in that grey, blank, empty bus, but someday it will be full again, just like yours
1 likei'm watching this two years later and it still makes me cry
0 likesdodie I'm so glad I found your channel!!
0 likesJesus that Facebook messenger sound freaked me out I thought someone was hiding in my room
10 likesReplies (2)
@raisinthief lol sorry
7 likes+raisinthief i replayed the part a solid 3 times to see if it was the video.. i was spooked xD
1 likethank you dodie. this resonates with me right now
0 likestotally amazing, down to earth true video, one of very few i have seen from youtubers. I hope your life stays full now for long. i chose to say life instead of bus ;) xx
0 likesThis is your best video ever made and the end bit made me cry. It's so nice to finally find someone who understands and has the same things going on inside their head
0 likesLet's ignore the fact that i've cried for a thousand years
0 likesYour hair looks so good in this video wow, all fluffy<3
the burger thing reminds me of that spongebob episode
18 likesReplies (1)
I was just thinking that omg
1 likei almost teared up when i saw your ukulele that must have been heartbreaking
1 likeDODIE YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE A SPOT ON MY BUS
2 likesWow. That's all I can say really just.....wow. You are such an inspiration Dodie (cheesy yes I know) but it's true. I'm so glad that you had a good time on tour and that you are feeling better. Thank-you so much for your honesty and then positivity. And you're very right, mental disorders do suck! All I can say is that I am so happy for you and I'm so glad I am on your bus xox
0 likesThe description <3
3 likesTHIS IS ADORABLE AND CUTE AND SAD ALL AT ONCE OH MY GOD
0 likescrying everywhere. favourite video ever you're such a wonderful person dodie and you deserve so much x
0 likesThis was so beautiful, your description was such a gentle yet highly accurate approach to these darker feelings. This really struck a chord with me as I've followed your channel for three years now (Jesus Christ that's a while) and I am so happy you are starting to feel the warm bubbly feeling inside once more because honestly I know how feeling that after such a long time of feeling grey is so wonderful. <3
0 likesthis video just made my life. thank you for being an amazing person and youtuber. we all love you dodie<3<3<3<3<3<3
1 likewhat the fUCK IS THE SONG AT 5:55 (And yes I know I'm a peace of shit for commenting that on a video so serious)
9 likesReplies (2)
If you were still wondering I believe it's CARE by Bry :)
1 like+Erin Knox Thank yoooouuu
0 likesI love this so much 💝
0 likesi've been binge watching all your videos, and it's been a bit of a rough time for me. it's a kind of sadness, but i don't quite think it's depression. i've seen descriptions of what it is for other people, and one of the ones that struck out to me, was "It's as if the world is so grey that you can't breathe."
0 likesbut that's not what it is for me. for me, it's like i'm colorblind. and sometimes i have those glasses that fix it, but other time's i'll sit and stare at a door just wanting to think about something, but my mind is blank. or i'll stare at my lights until they start to blur because i want to see that not all change is bad.
but i don't know if it's depression or just my head.
Dodie we all love you and really hope you do continue seeing the colour...I mean there's a whole freaking rainbow of colours out there, and that's only the spectrum that we can see! I hope that life throws up rainbows on you and that you're like covered in that happy multicoloured slime. Like go swim in that slime Dodie. What an awful metaphor, Eh? @doddleoddle @doddlevloggle
0 likesI love the honesty in this video :)
0 likesnice video, but one complaint. why no Shakira?
5 likesReplies (1)
I think it's an inside joke but I'm not 100% sure. She's always been asked to sing shakira. 😄
1 likeI love you Dodie <3 thank you
0 likesThis is the most relatable video i have ever seen. Literally everything you said at the end is how i feel. I'd like to buy a ticket to be on your bus pls
0 likesIt makes me so incredibly happy that 3 of my favourite youtubers are now doing monthly Vlogs! :D I really admire how you were able to talk about what you're going through. I mean, a lot of people with depression find it hard to talk to even their best friend, and you just opened up to thousands of people. Also this vlog was just really well edited and really thought provoking and just incredible! Well done! :) <3
0 likesThe other day there was a talent show and me and my friend had too perform in front of the class and the class is all like people i know and everyone in my class is really nice and everything but for some reason I nearly fainted! I swear XD And like i could feel my legs "disappearing" and the adrenaline in my body just stoped honestly
1 likethis video genuinely made me happy
0 likesthank you
Definitely should be studying, but instead I watched all of this and this video is amazing and the last bit made me tear up a bit <3 Dodie you are lovely, and loved :)
0 likesDodie, I have enjoyed quite a few of your music videos and some of your other stuff, but this was... simply amazing! I haven't been so moved by a YT video in a long time. You are an amazing person and expanding your thoughts here for 20+ minutes, using simple but very effective metaphors... Brilliant! Hang in there, girl! You're doing great!
0 likesI want to give this video a million likes!
0 likesSo brave to share things like this so openly, even if it has taken a couple of years to figure stuff out, you're at the point where you can share and that is the biggest stepping stone for anyone in this hole!
😘😘😘😘much love Dodie!
i love dodie so much, this video was great ahh!
0 likesThis made my day <3
0 likesI know this is old and I'm late but posts and texts about deppresion don't actually help me but i cried reading yours dodie. Thank you so much for putting words in such a strong order.
1 likeI feel you. I wish I could have shared that day with you. Have a great beautiful wonderful life.
0 likesdodie, thank you for everything
0 likesI have been watching your videos for the last 3 years now and although I have never met you I feel that you have been a part of my life. I remember the first video of yours that I watched was your "Your Song" cover. I honestly watched that video at least 15 times! I have always looked up to you and respect just how real you are willing to be on your channel. I know there is still a lot of stuff you do not share but I appreciate just how public you have been with your music and your life. I personally do not know what it is like to have depression but my 2 closest friends have it and I am so glad that things are getting better for you <3 I think you are the most adorable and wonderful person on youtube and I hope the best for you. I hope to one day meet you but for now have a wonderful life :)
0 likes-Frank
WE LOVE YOU DODIE<3
0 likesIt's currently 7:23 am and I haven't gone to sleep at all, because I've of been binge watching your videos. I don't regret a single thing :) also this video has to be my favourite on the internet, it brings memories from I went to those venues
0 likesI'm currently travelling New Zealand with a friend and I'm having a really hard time enjoying this trip because I'm just g r e y and oh my god it felt s o good to watch this video because now I know that I'm not alone in this, thank u dodie-from-the-past u give me hope
0 likesI really needed to hear this right now, thankyou x
0 likesDodie I love this. I've been feeling the same the last few years, and I'm lucky enough to feel like my bus is filling up too! Life goes up and down soo much, so to people who are on an up- that's amazing, be in love with that, and don't be afraid of going down again, it happens but you will he okay and you will get back up. And people who feel like your bus is empty and that things are grey- you are strong and amazing and you never know what/who is ahead, you will get through it!
0 likesI'm watching this again because I need it, you described my last 8 months perfectly, I've been a mess and I get angry at myself for it because my life is amazing and everything is fine, but my brain keeps telling me that's not. A few days ago I started to see hope in things and have really amazing days with friends, and I hope that those feelings came to stay. I'm here with you Dodie, thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone <3
0 likesim half way through my geography assessment and now i just have random tear stains on my page from watching this. we are all here <3333333 love love love
0 likesI love you so much dodie❤️
0 likesDodie, you are the sweetest thing, if I ever meet you I will hug you so much (if that's okay of course).. and I can deffo relate to what you're saying!! xx
0 likesNo thank you Dodie it's officially the BEST bus 🌸❤️
0 likesIt's so good for you to share this story, it has such potential to help others. Well Done Dodie, you absolute star x
0 likesThe metaphor about the bus made me cry. Literally,I've felt like that quite often and I know how bad it is.
0 likesThank you for uploading this. I feel less alone.
0 likesOh Gosh, I love this video Dodie:) I felt that I was able to connect with you on a whole another level. I feel empty most of the time in situations where I should feel happy, excited. Or something at least. But, I feel none of those things. I look around and see everyone laughing and taking it all in and I just can't help but think, "Am I missing something?" "Why am I not happy? Is there something wrong with me?I wanna feel like that. "And then I start to feel really envious of the people around me who feel happy without even trying and then, the tears start. At the end, I feel even more lost, confused and sad than even before this whole thing started. Finally, the numbness sets in and I learn to live with it. I've been living with this feeling for a few years now and its not getting any better. Thank You for making this video and sharing a little bit of yourself. It has made me feel less alone.
0 likesp.s. the burger analogy described by situation perfectly.
so glad i watched this dodie <3
0 likesThis was beautiful and gave me hope.
0 likesI think you're a fantastic human being and I would love to get on your bus one day <3
0 likesYou are really beautiful and I love your videos. It's currently 3:20 am and I'm here watching your awesomeness. This video made me cry. Do you know where I can buy a bus ticket?
0 likesI love the bus metaphor. A good way of looking at it is seeing how many seats you have to be filled and thinking of all the cool people you can fill them with! (Also, this is my favourite video you've ever done)
0 likesI love you.
0 likesThank you so much for this.. I'm really trying to find a ladder but it looks like the hole just keeps getting bigger. It's been three years and only a few months ago I started to search for help.
I dont intend to give up, but having no motivation makes me feel stuck.
Thanks for this video. It made me feel happy for you.
Oh god, i genuinely care for you a lot and i think you're a beautiful and amazing person. Idk why but i never realised you had depression, idk if i maybe haven't seen any videos you've posted about it or if you don't talk about it, but I'd have never thought you had felt or still feel this way. We are here for you, we want you to feel as amazing as we think you are. I know how you feel about finding the happiest times in the 'less interesting' days. I think i find my happiness in those kind of days where i hang out with friends at sixth form as it hits me that I'm being a normal person, something i never thought I'd be. I love you so much and i hope you continue to feel better, but either way we are along for your glorious bus ride ;) x
0 likesThis video is so beautiful and emotional. The way you depicted how depression feels like so perfectly blows my mind, because I have also been having struggles with my brain for the past few years and don't know how to explain the war inside my brain to others. I am hoping to become a musician one day and you are the ultimate inspiration. Thank you, Dodie, for sharing your story with the YouTube community and to all the people going through the same battles as you. 💕
0 likesThis video was amazing @doddleoddle, you are so honest and it's genuinely inspiring. I've never heard depression described like that. Being someone who's never experienced it, it's not the easiest thing to get your head around, but you made it so understandable. Hopefully if anyone I know experiences anything like this I can be a better friend to them, and probably point them in the direction of this video aha :P
0 likesAnyway, I just wanted to say I hope you always remember how many people's lives you make better, Dodie, and you are never alone <3
Feeling the feels <3
0 likesI'm not gonna lie.. This teared me up! I'm really happy for you that the colours are brightening for you and that you're enjoying everything you're doing. You deserve everything good and I'm glad it's beginning to show for you!
0 likesSome people have bad days, others have bad times. These times doesn't have a limit and can go on for a week, a month, a year or even longer. It's the strong people who get through these bad times and the even stronger people who talks about it and help others through their own experiences.
You inspire me Dodie, there is no other way of putting it. I'm genuinely so happy for you! x
oh my god i love you so much this made me cryyyyyy. i understand completely what youre talking about and i feel like you explained it so great. you put how i feel and how lots of other people into words i love you so much
0 likesI love how honest you are, & how you don't pretend to be someone else you're not. Your a big role model for all ages, because you show us to be OURSELVES. YOU ARE THE BESTEST DODIE! xx
0 likesyou're inspirational <3
0 likesWow. Just wow. You truly are an inspiration Dodie. Very honored to be a fan.
0 likesDodie you put it into words so well and I'm so happy that you do. I'm crying because I love you and I never want you to be unhappy but I realize that you can't help it. No one can. But we love you always and well always be on your bus, even if that metaphor is crap :)
0 likesI've been dealing with depression for a very long time and other shit I'll spare you from hearing. But the end. It made realize how much good I actually have. I have this amazing family and loving boyfriend and great friends.
0 likesLife is terrible yet it's so beautiful and I forgot about the beautiful part. Thank you for reminding me.
you're such a beautiful person♡
0 likesYou are a beautiful human being with a wonderful spirit and I'm so sorry that you have to deal with depression. I know what it feels like when all of the happiness has gone.... it really sucks, but one day you will wake up and the black cloud will be gone. Your videos make my heart happy. I wish you the best! 😁
0 likesoh dodie I never thought someone could put how I feel to words so well.
0 likesTying in with your metaphor, I believe that I am in the groupie bus behind your bus, following your success and wishing you every happiness xxx
0 likesThank you so much for making this video. I have not experienced depression myself, but the burger analogy genuinely put it into perspective so very well. I have a few friends who are or have been depressed and I ALWAYS want to help them but I never truly know what to say or do, and it's really upsetting to see so many people that I care about dealing with grey worlds. Do you have any advice for people seeing depression from an external perspective?
0 likesAlso, thank you for getting on my bus a few years ago ^_^ it's probably one of the best things that have happened to me
gosh this filemm took a frightfully long time! It was quite worth it nonetheless. I wish you well dodie my dear
1 likeThis was...I don't know, really. But I'd argue it's one of your best videos, and some of the things you said feel so accurate.
0 likesIve just watched this now and everything has become clear like it's taken a while to try and break the wall down and now it's finally working and this video explains it ily <33
0 likesLove you dodie 💕
0 likesI feel ALL the things!! :')
0 likesevery time i watch this i just feel overwhelmed with everything
0 likesI come back to this video literally every week.
1 likethis is one of the best videos I've ever seen, seriously I'm sitting here sobbing because of how good it was. I absolutely adore you dodie and I'm so so happy and so so glad you're feeling happier now :') honestly I get you and it sucks so much when there's nothing but happiness and good things around you and you feel like this little dark miserable rain cloud but hey, there's hope I guess. you're absolutely wonderful + one of the best people in the world; I'm so glad you exist
0 likesThe ending was so beautiful C':
0 likesThanks for the tears Dodie. I'm enjoying this bus ride. Even if I'm nowhere near you. Xx
0 likesi still watch this video almost everyday, and it's weird because i don't really know why, i guess it gives me strength or something like that.. :/ ♥
0 likesI keep staying way into the am's binging this Chanel over and over... School going down but doddle going strong
0 likesI totally understand what you mean with that metaphor! I feel like that right ;-; with exams and everything too which adds soooososososo much more pressure and everything sucks but honestly I'd like you to know that you're absolutely wonderful and your videos always add colours into my grey moods c: <3
0 likesBreath and don't let your head take you too far away from yourself ❤️
0 likesThis was perfect, that's all I can say
0 likesYou're so wonderful. You're a light in my cave.
0 likesAwwwww.
0 likesHi im new to ur channel but that was such a great video and it was so relateable. <3
as my familys nickname for me was and always will be dodï it was weird hearing them sing happy birthday but it was also sooo heartwarming
0 likesThis video made me cry.. a lot! But I'm so happy that you are happy 😊 (p.s Im so sorry we were so loud at the dublin gig we were just very happy to see you Xx☺)
0 likesDodie I don't know you personally but one thing i know is that you're an AMAZING person. You've inspired me a lot and thank you for being so natural and so honest all the time. I frequently feel like i am alone in my bus but with this video, i want to believe that things can get better.
1 likeI am living in Paris and I Hope i'll get the chance to see your "bus" one day.
Merci pour tout.
Crying... This was really good dodie.. <3 c:
0 likesI feel my brain isn't working at the moment just like you said, and Dodie you just described it the best way and feeling like that is sucky
0 likesI cannot express how much I love this girl
0 likesGod dammit dodie! It's 2am and I'm all emotional now :') this is just so beautiful and honest. I dont think there are many people out there who admit that they're feeling down with themselves even when they "seem" to have everything they could want. I've suffered with depression for as long as I can remember (seriously, I remember being at least under ten and crying myself to sleep for reasons I didn't even know at the time), but you are a real encouragement, and I don't think that I really could've got through depression alive if it wasn't for your videos (it might sound sad since I'm just some person who you don't know behind a laptop) but YouTube has been the only thing that has ever seemed to be on my side. Thank you for the help Dodie, I really hope that you feel better too, I can't stand to see you upset x
0 likesDodie this really spoke to me. Everything from the feeling nothing when everything seems great and people getting off the bus, genuinely brought a tear to my eye. I hope you're happier now because you deserve it so much <3
0 likesWhat an awful metaphor, but what an awesome video. I can't help but smile watching you on tour, and someday I really wish I will be able to go to see you on one of your tours. :-D
0 likesI totally get this thankyou for showing me I'm not the only one ❤️
0 likesI wonder who told you the bus metaphor. Nevertheless, this video was absolutely beautiful and I'm now sobbing in a little ball of "???". Thank you for this :)
0 likesThis was so beautiful x
0 likesholy moley i love you and your videos and your bravery and i always comment that you 'seem' lovely because I always try to remind myself that we essentially see an edited version of creators on here but god damnit you are just bloody lovely
0 likesI've been going through a really dark time lately, a friend gave me a metaphors on depression and she said it's like a dementor taking away all of your happiness and making you feel unworthy and in loved and this is how I've felt for so long.
0 likesLike nothing will be good again but I've just sat and cried at this video because you have me the realisation that my 'bus' isn't empty and I've got so many people in my life that are good and loving and supportive.
Thank you Dodie for being one of the lights in what seems like this endless tunnel of darkness. What you do matters to so many of try to keep that in mind because there are thousands of people on your bus.
Happy Thoughts :) x
this video helped me create my film :)) thank you dodie!!
0 likesi love you and i love you're spirit and you make me feel okay
0 likesStay strong Dodie you're such an inspiration xxx
0 likesThis video is just... perfect... sends you all the love
0 likesI love ur videos and this 1 was pretty awesome xxx
0 likesthis is the first time ive heard something that totally and utterly describes my situation and brain and im ever so slightly emotional because ive just been like this eating my flavourless burgers for years now and now suddenly i find out people feel the same. thank you dodie, for making me feel less alone i guess :) x
0 likesYou're videos are amazing Dodie. You can manage to bring colour and joy to us with your music and all the other funky stuff you make, even when you feel shitty. You're so inspiring and wonderful and fabulous and omigosh thank you so much for what you do. Cheers for being a ladder for so many other people ^-^
0 likesCongratulations on becoming reanimated xx
1 likeJust Thank You. I really just can't thank you enough <3
0 likesI think that all I have to say and all that I can say is; thank you. You helped me tonight as I sat alone in my bed, writing song lyrics in my head, I've written one and it's called bus ticket. Thank you for that inspiration and thank you for the happiness I can finally hope to feel x
0 likesI am in tears, honestly this sums everything up perfectly. The burger metaphor is perfect! But with the bus thing, I feel like there are plenty of people on my bus but no-one really wants to be there, like a fucking replacement bus service or something. It gives me so much hope to see that you're starting to get better though!xxx
0 likesThe sweetest thing is when you were about to sing happy birthday to yourself but all your friends appeared and sang it with you
0 likesYou're always referencing the feelings of nothingness/blank/empty, and I always respect it but never really understand it, but that burger metaphor was actually really helpful to understand what you've been going through for so long. <3 <3
1 likethis was beautifully done.
0 likesomg, I've been crying for 2 hours, this really made me think
0 likesthis video really made me stop and smile so much, life isnt always smiley, some times you've gotta try to really push through the things that are holding you back and everyone who does that needs to recognize how great they are for doing so, and everyone who's struggling right now or in a weeks time, you're stronger than you think, however small or big the steps you take you're doing better than you once were, thank you so much Dodie, I hope you have a great day whether or not you see this
0 likesThis is my favourite video you has ever posted. I am in awe with how real you are, Dodie. You're are so beautiful and honestly one of my favourite people in the world. I have met you and you were so kind to me and I will never forget when we sung together. Thank you so much for just being you and inspiring me every single day of my life. I love you so much Dodie and I'm glad that you have an amazing beautiful bus. You are definately on my one! Thank you xx
0 likeslove jordern.
Dear Dodie,
1 likeI've watched the video (THE WHOLE VIDEO! Some people do watch the whole video) for the third time now. I had to think about the video a lot, because I can really relate to what you are saying actually.. What I want to say is, you can be whoever or whatever the fuck you want to be, no one can tell you what kind of video you should upload or who someone wants you to be. I really needed some time, to think about the video and everything you said, because I once felt the same way (it is better now, but not gone, but I'm good) and I just wanted to remind you that, you don't have to fulfill anyones needs, but yours. Yourself is the one that counts. (Sure, your family and friends n the ones you love <3 , but I mean like; someone who is telling you, what to upload, etc. hope you understand what I mean) You are amazing the way you are. I watch your videos everyday. When I'm feeling bad, your videos and your songs help me to get through a hard day (sounds cheesy but I REALLY mean it.) I just want to say that, whenever someones goes off your bus, it happens for a reason. If they do not want to continue the ride on your bus anymore, you FUCKING don't need them on your bus!! It is YOUR bus, and you can choose whom you want on there. This is what I have learned through the past 3 years. I just wanted to say, that you've done a great job, (even if I don't know you, but what I can see in your videos) and it is okay to not feel good sometimes. If you need someone to talk (I know you don't know me, and I don't know you but I just want to suggest it to you in case you don't have any to talk to, because they are foodshopping etc) you can talk to me any time!
I love your videos and you the way you are, and I will forever support you here from Germany!
Just remind yourself that you are good enough :)
Love,
Helene
P.S.: I can totally relate to the iceboater going through you veins, before stage!!!!! I ALWAYS DIE BEFORE I GO ON STAGE!!! :D
oh my god dodie you made me cry. i have always always envisioned you as the pinnacle of happiness. whenever i was feeling down i would always watch your videos just to hear your voice. i love you so much and i think its really cool the way you explained this entire experience for you. you are one of my biggest idols and i love you a lot
0 likesAll throughout the video I didn't really know where you were going with it, but in the end it kinda made me cry. I cried because I know exactly what you're going through, and that's what makes it so hard hitting. So I hope more than anything that you don't have to go through feeling alone for much longer <3
0 likesI've been dealing with depression for a while now and I am leaving my school I have been going to for 10 years and when you talked about the bus metaphor I crumbled a little.
0 likesI loved this video so much!
0 likesI couldn't imagine my ukulele being broken, I'd cry forever
0 likesI hope everything gets better. <3
0 likeslove the bus analogy, feel like it applies to me a lot rn.. great video :)
0 likesDodge Clark, my literal inspratinlon💞 the made me cry... a lot😭 but I really love you😘💖
0 likesthis is so beautiful
1 likeIt really hit me hard at the end,hell,I am still crying while typing this. And it was because I can relate to this so so so much and I just never want any one that I love to ever feel that pain,even if I never get to truely know them,I will forever wish the happiness upon them that they have given me. (:
0 likesjust found out about Dodie about a week ago and not only could relate to all the lyrics she sings about, but am genuinely proud of how much progress and obstacles she's overcome. DODIE YOU'RE WONDERFUL!
1 likeI LOVE THIS AND YOUR FRINGE IS AMAZING X
0 likesOMG first video I watched. So touching ❤️
0 likesYour metaphors make so much sense to me. I've had pretty bad depression for a few years now and I'm slowly starting to feel better about life and myself again. Your videos are always so cute and make me smile and I'm glad you felt brave enough to share this part of yourself with so many people. I hope you continue to go in a positive direction and be the smiley happy Dodie you deserve to be
0 likesyou are so honest and real with us all dodie, and it's so important to me that I can look up to people who are honest and real so thank you so much
0 likesyou are such a lovely person and trust me even if it's hard to feel like it now, your bus will be full and every passenger will be enjoying amazing dodie burgers (just a name of course cannibalism never helps anyone)
I've felt the same. I always thought I was a happy person, and yet for most of the past two years, I just haven't felt good. Not sick, not suicidal, just dreary. And yet this year and lately, it's felt like a dream. Sometimes I still feel down, but the moment I do, someone comes by. A friend telling me a horrid joke, calling about homework and end up talking about nothing for hours, or someone just coming and being beside me without reason. All I can say if you're not feeling the best is it's okay, and I hope you find that one day you look out and everything just seems bright.
0 likesSuch a great video!! Thanks for sharing ^.^
0 likesThank you. Thank you, thank you. I just got back to New Jersey from a week in England today, and realized that I spent my entire trip choking down a grey, sludgey burger. And I had a wonderful time, don't get me wrong. But looking back, it doesn't feel like anything. And I didn't know how to talk about it to other people without sounding ungrateful. But this helps so much, and while I'm so sorry that you've ever suffered this way, I want to thank you for sharing the way you feel, because it has made me feel less alone.
0 likeshi dodie! i know it's been a long time since you posted this video but i just wanted to say thank you so much. since like last easter (2014) i've felt kind of just empty and sad and as you said, nothing. like i've had great days, like the day i saw you and bethan and met you guys, that was a good day. but the rest of the time i could be doing anything but i'd feel nothing or just really sad, and i still do now. but honestly with this video i watched it and i think it helped me finally understand what's been wrong. so thank you so much, everyone else i've ever known who's suffered with depression has said 'no you're just sad' but yeah thank you for helping me to understand what's going on in my head xx
0 likesi just rewatched this and im actually sobbing
0 likesI love videos like this because I know I'm not the only one who suffers from anxiety and depression xxx thank you
0 likesi don't think i've cried so much this was beautiful
0 likesI can't sleep, but your videos make me calm and happy
0 likesyour letter is very special. thank you for sharing a little piece of you with me. one of my holes fills temporarily filled. thank you so much xo
0 likesI love the bus metaphor. I can relate to it soo much.
1 likeOh my, I am glad I didn't watch this at lunchtime. You are honestly one of the nicest you tubers I've ever met and I am so glad you are trying to help mental health. I want to write so much more but hey this isn't meant to be an essay. I am glad your getting your colour back and I hope you have loads of fun finding even better colours!
0 likesThis made me cry srsly and the letter! thanks for the ladder!
0 likesThis made me realise that what I have been feeling is most likely depression, however severe it may be. Ever since some of my bestest friends left my school it hasn't been the same. It's like they haven't got off my bus but they don't have a season ticket anymore, I barely ever see them, when I used to see them every day. The friends still at my school, some I barely see anymore, it's like they're on my bus but not very often and the people I end up having to hang around with, they're not dreadful, but i wish that they weren't on my bus all the time, particularly as one of them is quite negative and I think it has an impact on me. I hope this summer, I can fill up my bus again with the people I want, but I worry that I won't and that makes me sad. I feel like everyone around me is in colour and I'm in grey.
1 likeThis was a truly lovely video, the London gig and your birthday were lovely :) (apart from my anxiety but the happiness outweighs it)
I love your bus and all the people on it and I want a life ticket pls :)
Also, that adventure time instrumental was cute af. :3
I am very glad you are starting to feel better and long may it continue :)
xx
I think this is my favourite video of hers of all time.
0 likesI've watched this so many times and it never fails to make me cry. Does anyone know the name of the song at the very end of the video?
0 likesThis is wonderful, Dodie. i will send this video to my friends who don't understand depression and maybe you will help her get it
0 likesDodie, even though you don't know me, and I haven't had the chance to meet you in person, thank you for opening the door and letting me be one of the faceless people on you bus. For allowing all of us on your bus.
0 likesThe part where everyone sang you happy birthday made me cry I'm so scared I'm so scared I'm going to be and adult someday and I'm going to be old and I'm going to die I'm so afraid what the hell
1 likeThis is such a wonderful video! You are such a wonderful person! You make so many people happy even when you aren't necessarily happy yourself, that is something you should be incredibly proud of. I often feel alone even though logically I know that I'm not and it is a horrible, suffocating feeling because you want to just shake yourself and say "stop being so silly!!" but your brain just can't understand.
0 likesI'm glad you're starting to feel happy again ❤️
Something about this, like the brain thing, at the end, and the letter in the description, something in me connected, and I wanted to say thank you, for sharing, but it made me feel like someone was on my bus for once, thank you Dodie.x
0 likesThe last couple days of school I was asked "Who is your hero?" I replied "dodie"
0 likesyou are my favourite person, I also feel tainted with sadness even on good days, but watching your videos is like a break from it all and I love you so much, you are an amazing person, I wish I could tell you in person but when you were in Ireland I couldn't go to your gigs, really wish I could have gone 😔
I love you dodie💕
0 likesThis gave me chills!
0 likesWhat song were you dancing to?
0 likesOh and I'm so so so happy for you, Dodie. I don't know what to say honestly... I'll never leave that bus, Dodie (am i even in the bus or..? where can i buy that ticket? haha) I promise. love you loads <3
The metaphor got me...your video related to me, ily so much dodie💓
0 likesI hope that you start to have more happy days so that every day is a happy day :)
0 likesyou're such a perfect human being
0 likesI really needed to hear all of the things you said at the end of this video. Sometimes, I feel like my bus isn't even functional. I feel like sometimes it is broken down on the side of the road, and even the people on my bus are upset with me. But you're absolutely right, and I know things will get better. Colour will return to my life. I'm so extremely glad you exist, Dodie. You're beautiful, and so wonderful, and I hope you know that. xoxo
0 likesI feel so happy that you feel happy😊
0 likesi have steadily realized how full each of my days can be, and i don't think i've ever been more content in my life. also - here's another metaphor - i like to think of myself as a kinda sponge (?) and soak up as much of every day as i can. my yesterday's aren't weighing me down anymore.. they're lifting me up. i'm glad you've found a way through your wall too :)
0 likesI was fine and then I got to the end and I started sobbing
0 likesAfter just reading the description, here I am slightly crying with a tortilla in hand in my bed at 10 at night. Ugh what is my life
1 likei'm really really really really really proud of you, dodie. you can do this.
0 likesThe fact that you mentioned my hometown three times, oddly made me happy :) #Dublin
1 likethis made me feel. feel a lot, A LOT, of things. first, i wanted to scream and burst into tears because I've been feeling EXACTLY the same lately and it's so relieving to know that I'm not alone in this. then I started feeling sad because of your uke and everything that you had to deal with, but in a second I started feeling very proud and happy because you managed to pull through. it takes a fuck tone of courage and strength so hats off to you, mademoiselle. and now, I feel incredibly content. it's like all the little annoying thoughts in my head that are constantly buzzing about exams and life choices and problems with my family and my friends turning into people I can't talk to anymore just shut up. and I can breathe and think and tell myself I'll be okay. and this is very important and much needed. so, even if you (most definitely) eon't read this, I wanted to say thank you. thank you so much. you are amazing. keep going and never give up, no matter what happens in that bus. xx
0 likesI Loved the burger metaphor, it was epic to hear. I could relate so much.
0 likesI hope all the adventures you go on are full of color and happiness and that all the grey bits start to fade away
0 likesI can relate... SO much. I've been dealing with Depression for a year now and I've almost killed myself thinking this world couldn't offer anything but the grey- and emptiness I've felt because I simply couldn't remember good times. I'm now taking meds and it's slowly getting better although I'm still far from cured and happy :/ It's sad to hear that you have to deal with depression at the moment and I can only tell you: stay strong with me :)
1 likeStay strong Dodie c::
0 likesEmotinal 💕💕 But I love you, your fans love you so keep smiling until you really smile ✨✨
0 likesWow.... What a great video. I loved the metaphors so so much they really spoke to me, especially the burger one. I have had several memories like that and it's just like my brain wants to pick out all the bad parts of those times and forget about anything fun, and when my friends talk about those memories I feel emptiness and regret. I'm so glad someone else feels this way and had the courage to share it, it thought no one else felt this! Thanks Dodie, love you ❤️
0 likesThanks for that rigger warning actually 😂 I would've cried otherwise
0 likesAlways a very good thing when people speak openly about mental health. You are amazing and I hope you get your bus mojo back soon x
0 likesI cried. I'm sorry, I cried. I go through the same thing so often and I feel like no one around me understands it. My friends just say that if I'm not upset about anything then I'm fine. My mom actually told me that being depressed is stupid and a waste of time, which just made me feel like I was stupid and a waste of time. I've honestly been slowly getting happier since I discovered YouTube. It's full of people who are just like me and have been through the same things as me. It makes me feel far less alone, and far more understood. Every time that someone makes me laugh on YouTube, it makes my heart happy. It may sounds silly, but it makes everything brighter. Slowly my world is turning from complete blackness into a universe of color.
1 likeJust finished crying. This video is beautiful.
0 likesDodie your hair looks so lovely here! Do you use anything new?
0 likesI love you Dodie!
0 likesit's ridiculous how accurate the burger metaphor is, thinkin of u dodie <3
0 likesyou are just..so, so, so, amazing x
0 likesGorgeous video Dodie. I may not be on your bus, but I like to see it pass by once and a while. We don't know one another, we likely never will, but when I see your videos like this, so honest and open, I can't help but feel love towards a friend. I do hope happiness comes your way more often and you smile more and more each day. Love and blessings, Dodie.
0 likesThanks for being you.
I love the bus metaphor. I kinda feel like there are plenty of people in my bus but they're all sitting in the back together and I'm sitting in the front alone.
0 likesI'm a relatively new and therefore insignificant passenger on your bus but this whole video resonated a lot with me and I think you're amazing. Thank you for being so open about yourself and giving me an opportunity to reflect on my own stuff.
0 likesAll the best. <3
I only just discovered your channel today, you make the most amazing things :P
0 likesI can't believe you've been down New Zealand, no one ever comes here, lol! It'd be nice to meet you someday.
I have been much happier since i got on your bus and I'm very glad you are becoming happier too (: you're a wonderul human <3
0 likesThe honesty in this video, Dodie, was immense. You constantly amaze me (and I'm sure many others will agree) on how you explain the feeling you get when one goes into a depression. You get it. You allow other people to get it. Usually, I see people just bottle these things up and let it get the better of them. But with you having posted this video, you're telling people, as alone they may feel, they're not. :)
0 likesOh man. I just wanna give you a hugemongoose hug, right now! x
You can't watch this video and not feel connected to you. And I don't mean to sound cheesy or what not but I think you get it. I'm glad you uploaded this. You're not alone.
0 likesi loved that metaphor. i have depression and make metaphors about it :)
0 likesI've just realised watching that I have been going through depression for 4 years now. That's 1/5 of my life so far and it's horrible. It's just one of those things that affects everything I do now. I have no motivation to try doing the things I need to do just to get by, let alone the things I want to do, like starting a channel of my own here. I try to enjoy the little things and spend time with my friends when I feel mentally able to, which is becoming less and less as time goes on.
0 likesI guess this video has shown me that it genuinely does get better. Dodie, thank you for the songs you've written and your honesty about life. Thank you for the times I've met you and you've just been really kind. Thank you for this video. Than you for everything. If my brain was working correctly I'd probably be crying right now tbh
I was crying over that burger metaphor but then I started thinking of Supernatural when Dean was eating the burger in the leviathan episode and there was all the grey goop in it and I started laughing so hard. This video was an emotional rollercoaster but I LOVE IT so muchb
1 likeI think my problem is that I never let people on my bus. I just remain hidden in the back row on my laptop and block out everyone around me. Since I started work with some amazing happy people I think I'm slowly coming to see it's dark back here and I want to be with everyone else. <3
1 likeWas diagnosed earlier this year. Depression is shit. My friend taught me that you just had to power through in order to concur this disease. Never give up. I look forward to your Period vlogs (sounds so weird) #drunkenstupor
0 likesi cried... i mean it's casual.. but yeah I am just going to hug my cat now. And Dodie, You are wonderful!
0 likesI love your honesty
1 likeI can't even explain how much this video resonated with me Dodie, the burger metaphor, the bus, just your whole outlook on depression and life. You're so inspiring and you make me want to try harder to make my bus an amazing ride :D Thank you, and although I don't know you, from your videos I truly think you're a wonderful person and that you deserve happiness.
0 likesAh dodie, rewatching this again bc I can relate, and I'd totally forgotten about me being in it at 21.50, in your absolutely smitten top, with the biggest fkn smile on my face. i miss your n I miss you guys, but honestly just looking back on this, it gives me the same sense of happiness that I did in that moment. standing in a circle singing with three of my favourite people in the world (you, bry n my sister Rachel). I just keep thinking about how lucky I am.
0 likesah I'm a sentimental mess. hopefully see you soon<33
this helps quite a lot, especially your letter. Thanks
0 likesI understand exactly what your saying and it's like wow I'm not alone in this wut ✨
0 likesLove you Dodie, you've got this. Things can get pretty sucky for no reason sometimes, but (though I know I'm one of thousands) I'm here for you. :)
0 likesBest wishes,
Another internet buddy.
I like the metaphors. They were actually quite clear. They made me remember that even when I've gone off burgers (like real life ones - sometimes you'd just just prefer a taco), I always bounce right back to Byron, even if it takes a long time. (Other burger chains are available).
1 likeI wish I could sit on your bus.
0 likesThank you for making me feel not alone.
xxx
Dodie you are on point 👌🏼
0 likesaw Dodie this is a very touching video! how you feel better like soon!
0 likesI love you so much Dodie. I am amazed at how honest and strong you are on camera in this video. Yes there were clips that just looked like awful breakdowns but what made them strong is the clips later of you trying and doing things for yourself and asdkagh aghh you're such a special, lovely human. I never knew you had depression, and I'm honestly in shock because I became a fan months ago, and just recently binge watched most of your videos.. still not knowing about this absolute terrible grayness you have to live with. Thanks so much for all the metaphors because judging by all the comments from the gang it has helped massively. Remember everyday exactly what you said in the description about it getting better, and know we all appreciate what you do everyday. Love love love x ps, my birthday is april 11th as well c:
0 likesbinge watching dodie :)
0 likesAawwwww this video it was so truthful and amazing
0 likes19:28 has me dying laughing help omg idk why it killed me so much
0 likesoh god dodie I just realized that we are the same age.... I was sat here this entire time thinking that you were like 3 ears older than I am but nO
0 likesmy life has been filled with such unsuccess
you're so bloody cute, Dodie. you have my full support. I've been there. And you're going to have to push me off your bus because I wont be leaving any time soon <3
0 likesps soz about topshop
I'm so glad you are feeling better Dodie, you deserve to be the happiest girl in the world. You spend so much time making other people happy, you deserve to be too. Thank you for all you have done and for always putting a smile on my face even on a day when my burger tasted like mush <3 you're such an inspiration x
0 likesthis video actually helped me a crap ton. I'm only twelve and i have already been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I'm already on meds (yada yada yada). The description below the video describes how i've been feeling for the past 8 months now. I'm an only child with pretty awful friends but INCREDIBLE family. All my life i've wanted to move near my cousins and my mom and dad always say stuff like, "we'll talk about it later. It's most likely not happening, though." I know deep down that running away from my friends and town is just going to arouse larger problems, but I can't seem to think of any other idea! Today I asked my mom about moving and she said, "If we can get your anxiety sorted out by the end of the summer, then we'll talk." It was the stupidest thing to cry over but I felt like a bajillllliiiooonn weights had been lifted off of my shoulders. All I'm saying is that this video showed me that there are multiple ways to deal with depression etc. and that I should never completely give up. Thank you so much Dodie. You are my biggest inspiration.
0 likesLove you muchly Dodie <33
0 likesoh @doddleoddle i had no idea you were feeling this way .i hope the good feelings from tour stay with you for while !
0 likesps.can i get on the bus?
I know how that feels, last year everyone got off my bus but one friend and my family and it felt like I had no-one, but really they were just getting off to make room for the amazing people who got on, I just had to wait a few stops :) metaphors metaphors
0 likesWell now I think every one of your subscribers has just fallen in love with you so..there's that. <3
0 likesReplies (1)
@***** On a serious note though Dodie, I'm glad you're beginning to see the light around you. I know depression likes to blind people, or like how you said takes away the taste on what should be a good thing, I can only say we all support and love you. :) x <3
0 likesI really want to see more of the tour footage
0 likesI've played in that park at the end so many times :) never broken in though. Beautiful video. I want to be on your bus forever. 🌈😁🌸🌞
0 likesthis made me cry wow. This video actually kind of opened my eyes, that burger metaphor that you talked about is how I've been feeling quite a lot recently, but I never understood what I'm feeling, and just left it to simmer in my brain, trying to ignore it. It's a bit scary considering I'm only 16 and my life is great, just like that burger (beautiful A* metaphor there by the way), but it just feels empty sometimes. I hate myself for saying it though, because as I said, my life is so great and I have everything to be thankful for. I just keep having a great opportunity and then I don't enjoy it and feel like I've wasted it and ruined it for other people. My friends ask 'How was it?' and I fake a laugh and say it was great but it really wasn't. Ugh I just feel like I sound selfish whenever I think or say it. ANYWAY sorry for the rant to anyone who bothers to read this, but I feel like writing it down might help, so even if no one reads it, I might feel better ;)
0 likesthank you dodie for this video.
0 likesYour honesty and the way you worded everything and just everything about this video has left me in tears. I'm not great at wording things as beautifully and intelligently as you do but I just wanna say it's amazing that you're feeling better and I love you and your bravery and honesty and amazingness so much :) x
0 likesI love this bus :) it made my day
0 likesThat ending really friggen got me cause I'm currently floating in that grey, blank, empty bus, but someday it will be full again, just like yours
1 likeIts a Wednesday morning, and I hate Wednesdays and this video has given me hope that maybe today wont suck and that life isn't all bad and I love you and this made me cry a lot thanks for being so amazing with words :)
0 likesthe description is actually so relatable <3
0 likesThis video has hit me hard. I don't suffer from depression, but your videos always make me so god damn happy and I just never gave a second thought that you might not be feeling this genuine happiness too. I am so glad that colour is seeping back into your life and I hope it continues to increase in vibrancy and brightness. I know this video will help so many feel less alone, and make everyone else realise that they need to be more aware of those suffering around them. I hope your happiness grows so that you can feel as happy as you've made so many of your audience. I admire your courage so much Dodie <3
0 likesI call depression the greatest (as in biggest, not best) battle of them all: a battle against yourself.
0 likesStill, I've never had it diagnosed so maybe don't know what I'm on about, but whatever on Earth or Gallifrey I went through last year, I can relate to quite a bit of what some people say about it.
i needed this video at this exact moment
0 likesPlease make a newer update! I loved this so so much
0 likesI finally got around to watching this lol
0 likesThe burger analogy really hit home for me. This past weekend I performed my last marching band show of the year in a huge dome and I was so excited to feel this rush of excitement and pride and bittersweet, and throughout the performance I kept waiting and waiting but it never came. And when the show was over I was just like, "okay, that was fun, I guess." But I didn't really feel anything and it wasn't what I had hoped to feel and it was just disappointing
I shouldn't have watched this at 22:41 because I'm crying now and I probably can't stop. Thank you so much Dodie (!!!!!) for this message, I don't know why because I'm not feeling great but I know this will help me! need some sleep I think... x
0 likesDodie I love you more than I can put in words
0 likesI wanna give you a hug but I live in California 😔 Thanks for that Bus Ride Metaphor it makes sense to me (sad Ikr) A lot of people have left my bus and I'm sitting alone which sucks 😩... I also deal with depression and I'm getting help now 🤗 and I enjoy seeing your videos and singing with a ukulele (I bought myself a ukulele because of you and I love it) 💕you are beautiful and amazing and you make my day better💖
0 likesThe bus metaphor is everything I've ever tried to say and I cried because I've felt alone for so long recently and even though you don't actually know me, it feels like you do :) xx
0 likesI've been thinking about this all day. I think just by circumstance my bus has become a bit empty. I'm going to uni soon though and I'm hoping that will be a chance to fill it up again.
0 likesDodie I love your videos and I love you.
0 likesI love you Dodie, :)
0 likesi felt this video so deep down in my soul. you pretty much put into words what i couldn't say for the past four years. just before watching this video i had a conversation with a friend telling her that i feel like i'm in a hole i can't get out of. it's not that i don't try to be happy, believe me I do. but everytimes something stops me and at some points i couldn't even imagine what i would be without the sadness. it is really hard and sadly not a lot of people truly understand what it feels like. thank you for this video, stay strong, you're a wonderful human being ❤️
0 likesthis vid still means the world to me
2 likesdodie clark i absolutely adore you
0 likesI also have bouts of depression so I know how you feel Dodie, but just keep swimming :')
0 likesYou're amazing. Keep that bus going, moving. xo
0 likesDodie, this is one of the best videos I have ever seen, but please stop making my cry in front of my friends :) I'd do anything to get a ticket to ride your bus :)
0 likesTHIS IS MY FAVOURITE VIDEO ON THE ENTIRE INTERNET
0 likesI've only just found you on this wonderful crazy thing called YouTube and honestly I feel like I've none you my whole life. I'm in tears because for so long I've had this feeling but I didn't know what to call it or how to explain it to anybody until now. I felt crazy and stupid because I couldn't find anyone who could understand or comprehend what was going on. But this video...this video says it all. Thank you for this . Thank you for showing me I'm not crazy and maybe one day I can you in person and give you a big hug ✨💕ps kinda love that bus metaphor.
0 likesThis gave me hope for a better 'bus ride' in the future. :') Thank you...
0 likesThank you Dodie
0 likesThank you so much
Would you potentially be able to make a cut version of this? I watched the whole thing but I would love to have 20:36-22:19 to send to one of my best friends. It really hit home and perfectly describes how I've felt about a handful of people who have stuck by me through my depression and mental health problems. This video was lovely and I hope you find the tools you need to cope and find joy in life as well! <3
1 likeSometimes when there is something amazing that's happening or something remotely happy I just feel meh. Like kinda sad. It's so annoying bc I want to experience it to the fullest with everyone else who feels elated but I just don't feel happy. I know how you feel
0 likeseyes are welling up a tad... mostly because (and i know we aren't feeling the same thing because everyone is different) but you explained exactly how I'm feeling :) gotta hate a bland burger.
0 likesthis video makes me so happy ahh !!
0 likeswhen you said ice water inside my veins I understood my own feelings and omg
0 likesAHHH TESSA! <3 was not expecting her to pop up in this video! :)
0 likesThis was an awesome video. The bus thing was hella rad.
0 likesi forgot that i watched this video in its entirety and while watching it I realized that i did but I NEEDED TO SEE IT AGAIN. reading the description made me tear up (i would cry but i feel weak when i cry so my brain programmed itself not to do that. im overly self conscious BUT ANYWAY) because I'm getting out of this cave to see the sun. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA TALKING ABOUT DEPRESSION AND MENTAL ILLNESS STUFF IS WEIRD BUT I LOVE THAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING THAT MORE OFTEN AND IT COMFORTS ME KNOWING THAT YOU (someone who travels and sings and makes music and videos for a living while having great friends) CAN STILL FEEL THESE THINGS. sorry for typing in all caps, i just wanted to let u know that u inspire me to talk about my mental illness and are one of the ppl who help me embrace my true self. thank you dodie <3
0 likesThis video made me so emotional at the end for many reasons . I just wanted to say thank you too, you helped inspire me to start uploading on my own YouTube channel and do things I never thought I would like learn new instruments! I lie being creative on YouTube and hope one day I can be as good as you :) x
1 likeA few months ago, me and my friend joined a school comedy show. We had a skit making fun of The Voice, a popular U.K talent show. Went on, and my friend completely forgot his lines. I just nearly passed out and we had to stop after about two lines. I haven't able to go on stage since and, as person who is about to join a theatre group, I am sincerely fucked. Why did I leave this comment? I'm so weird....
2 likesDodie, I think you are a pure and wonderful human being
0 likesYour bus will never be empty because you have us! c: we love you!! <3
0 likesI'll always be on your bus with you Dodie. <3
0 likesstill one of my favourite vids ever
0 likesYou're so great and lovely and beautiful and you don't know how many people would love to be on your bus <3
1 like
0 likesI graduated high school today..and in the beginning I was happy, excited, and just ready to start a new chapter in my life. But it came towards the night and I just couldn't get myself to enjoy it. I didn't understand . I was surrounded by friends ( friends I consider family ) and laughter and just having a good time but I couldn't get myself to fully enjoy any of it. The problem isn't that I wouldn't see my friends again because I'll see them almost everyday , just a car ride away. The problem is .. I don't know the problem . I just can't enjoy today which makes me so mad I cry . This is the day I'm suppose to remember forever and tell me kids but I just can't fully be happy...
Dodie this was beautiful. And all of your metaphors that you use are all too true and I can relate to all of them (I hate using that phrase in this instance but I can't think of any other).
0 likesYou beautiful, beautiful person, I wish you all the happiness in the world
0 likesI can't get enough of your videos, Dodie. They genuinely mean so much to me. I'll listen to your music or watch your vlogs when I'm feeling sad or just when I'm bored. Your songs strike such a chord in me. I just.. care about you I guess, almost like a friend although, realistically you don't know me. And I appreciate you and all you do. You talk about things that are really near to my heart. I guess thank you is all, I hope you're doing well, always. ♥
0 likesOh my GOD DODIE! Im in tears, NEVER KICK ME OFF YOUR BUS DX
0 likeshas anybody else noticed a huge difference between dodie before short hair and dodie after short hair?
1 likeYou are a beautiful person, and although you may not realise it yet, you are making amazing changes in yourself and to those around you. Embrace the wonderful journey and enjoy it.
0 likesI feel like crap when I do this. My thoughts are the deepest and most empathetic when I'm tired af and in bed at 3 am, which also turns out to be when I feel closest to what I feel depression is like, because any other time of day I'm still thinking deep but mostly about other things (like youtubers and stuff) so I do not stop to check over myself and see if I have a serious problem or if I'm just sad at the moment. So sadly the problems that always come to me late at night (or really really early in the morning) are caused by what I forgot to do in the day. Sorry that was a random comment which I don't think belongs here but I just feel like showing my nighttime emotions before I fall asleep, wake up, and check if I should take my feelings seriously
0 likesDodie your bus will never be empty!! Even though I've never met you, you are too much of a thoughtful, kind, loving, caring and wonderful person to ever not have someone on their bus. People come in and out of our lives for a reason and it's sucky when someone leaves but that's just leaves more room for the best people 💜 It makes me so happy to see that you're feeling the colours and joy of life again, because you bring so much joy to other people, so you undoubtedly deserve it! It's actually because of you that I'm going to try to learn the ukulele after my exams ^.^ music is already a big part of my life (I play flute and piano) and I just wish I could be as talented as you! Much love x
0 likesDodie you make me smile. This video was incredible and your way with words is incredible and how genuine and sincere youre being with us is incredible. Like many people, unfortunately, I have been and still am where you were with your depression and sadness an emptiness. There's something about you that always makes me smile for no reason and honestly I can't even thank you enough for giving me a reason to smile even when there was no reason at all. Keep pushing through and it'll all get better and we will always be here for you, forever riding your bus. I love you so much and I'm really happy that you're feeling happy <3 xxx
0 likesi even cried over your uke </3
0 likesI just wanna hug you and ahh, just all the emotions. I admire you a lot Dodie and this has just increased that admiration! You are special! :) definitely one of my favourite YouTubers. I hate having those days where nothing is wrong but you can't help but feel like shit.
0 likesI am so glad to see you are becoming more happy!! :)
I do really admire you Dodie! Please never stop making videos, from ones like this to covers. You are amazing!
i think i'm finely coming closer to the ladder. Thanks for some extra hope. (⌒.⌒) I wish you the best xx
0 likesMy bus is almost empty. Love you Dodie .
0 likesdodie I love you <3
1 likeAnd I thank you as well ❤️
0 likesgosh I love you Dodie
0 likesDodie, I never really comment on youtube videos but I feel like I need to say thank you. This video didn't help me in the hugest way, but I just got back from my biology GCSE exam which I don't think went well, despite loads of revision over the past few months. I watched this video in my pyjamas while painting my nails to cheer myself up, and it was so uplifting (and my nails dried just as the video ended, which was satisfying). Obviously that isn't a particularly emotional or interesting story, but I felt the need to say that I'm glad you're feeling better, and I'm glad you make other people like me happy. Whoever ends up on your bus will be lucky to know you.
0 likesI may or may not have cried
0 likesBut Dodie i love you so much and i really hope you see more of those colourful happy days that are anything but blank. I'm here rooting for you :)
Really inspirational.
0 likesThis is beautiful
0 likesthankyou so much for your description, you have no idea how much this video how much YOU have helped thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou
0 likesThis video is important. Thank you for sharing.
0 likesThe burger thing. God I relate. Sometimes I can't even cry because there's so much nothing..
0 likesdodie Clark you beautiful human. I hope u are good now and I relate to a lot of the things u said In this and a lot of my friends have said the same. u have done really well to allow urself to be happy and u have Inspired me to stay happy💟
0 likesTHE END IS MAKING ME NEED TO CRY BUT I CANT AND IM GETTING SO MAD
0 likesWhat a great video xx
0 likesI didn't think I'd be crying this hard but here I am
0 likesAgain, I am SO SORRY for how everyone was in Dublin. I get that everyone was excited, but some people were just plain rude...
0 likesJust think you need a big hug Dodie. Sending you a hug xxx
1 likeI'm so so happy that you're feeling as if your getting better ^-^
0 likesI have symptons of depression and have told a couple of friends about it but they seem to brush it off as their idea of depression is that you have to cut. So idk whether I do have depression or not. The symptons are getting worse but still idk if it's depression. I'm honestly so confused. But it's getting worse slower that is would have gone if people like you didn't exist to brighten my day and give a moment of happiness, even if it's brief.
Thank you so much Dodie, not just from me but also from others feeling this way. x
I feel hope watching this Dodie. My bus is quite empty right now, but that isn't permanent.
0 likesThis has made me sob... WHY DODIE?! Oh my
0 likesmay your bus be always filled with happiness and color! :)
0 likesI have had a rubbish day and I probs failed my gcse French ( but who needs gcse French anyway !!) this video has made my day a lot better - thanks Dodie for making videos which make me smile :) but now back to revision ....
0 likesahhhhh. ah ah ah. this was super nice and it's actually kind of even nicer because i was having a not so good day, and then i watched this video and for the first two thirds i was like 'hey. this is making me feel a lot better. i am getting a lil bit of colour back today for now this is rly nice i hope this stays.' and then u started to talk abt feeling grey and i was like OH because i hadn't read the description yet, and i hadn't realised it was gonna go there, and so i started to cry when u got into talking abt that but it wasn't for bad reasons (well, depends ur point of view), it was like "oko kok kok this is exactly how i feel...oK" and i was freaking out a lil bit because i'd never related to anyone abt it before. and then at the end when u said u were feeling better everything had such a nice and warm feeling and my day ended up being a rAINBOW of colour when it seemed to be one of those days where nothing, not even six puppies and two kittens could take away the greyness. idk this whole comment has been a ramble but i sort of wanted to say that like a thank you? or something? idk thank u this was a rly cool thing to say (the description as well x) and ur. amazing. :)
0 likesthankyou for sharing this dodie, i understand that this must not have been easy for you but i appreciate this so much. i understand that even when you're surrounded by people, you can still feel alone, still feel crap and i'm not going to say that i thought i was the only one, because i know i'm not, but it makes me feel so much better to know that someone i look up to is going through the same thing and making it through. you sharing this 22 minute video has given me something to look back at when i feel like this and realise i'm not alone and that i can do it too. you're so amazing dodie and i appreciate you so much, thank you for showing me it's more than possible, and that it does get better❤
0 likesThis broke me in the best way.
0 likesDepression is like walking down a dark tunnel. others can see the light at the end of the tunnel which gives them motivation to carry on. While some can't see the light. when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, you become hopeless and began to lose faith.
0 likesMetaphors..... :(
This came at just the right time for me. I'm currently sat in the depression cave contemplating suicide and thinking about all the benefits it would bring to my fiends and families lives. But thank you for telling me about the ladder. I hope that I find mine soon.
0 likesI'm crying omg Dodie you are literal perfection like you know just how to put these random thoughts into words so perfectly and omg. Like I cannot even describe how perfect the end of this video was. I'd give anything to be able to just sit and talk too you about life. You have so much life experience and just seem like you'd be an absolutely amazing person to speak with. I love you so much, and please never stop doing what you do<3
0 likesYour description box is really something <3
0 likesYou are your own person and that makes you beautiful. Don't feel down, instead try to see the beauty that this world holds. Every day can be as beautiful and filled with happiness as that one special day off that you had. :)
0 likesMY GOD THIS VIDEO WAS AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER
1 likeThe ending really got to me and I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up. Thank you dodie for being so open and also I'm just genuinely so happy that you're starting to get back on your own two feet. There's nothing that makes me happier than when the people who make me feel better are getting better themselves. You've gone through so much and you aren't finished yet but you figuring this all out seems to be working well. <3
0 likesI'm so glad she has her little group of friends
0 likesoh gosh I didn't think this would make me emotional an yet I'm sat here crying my little eyes out! This video was so reassuring as I've had many days like these and it's weird and it feels like it's just me. like everyone else doing fine and I'm the odd one. (Which obviously isn't true but that's how it feels.) and I'm not sure where I'm going with this but I guess I'm just really glad I decided to watch this video as it made me feel as if this state that I'm in is only temporary and that's what I needed right now.
0 likesNerves are the shittest feeling but it's also sooo satisfying for me because it makes me a bit hyper and just happy which is really not like me cuz I'm really shy so nerves are shitty but great for me 😂
1 likeyour videos are making me cry way too much
0 likesDODIE WHY YOU MAKE ME CRY
0 likesdodie. this. was. so beautiful.
0 likesI love the piano at the end <3
0 likesI relate so much omg
0 likesThe fact that I realised you were at the side of the academy 2/3 at the bit where you were talking about getting a tattoo, makes me realise i've spent way too many hours round there waiting for bands and queing for gigs. Worth it though, gutted I couldn't go to this tour :( looks like it was so fun!
0 likesYears ago I was with my family going to the London Dungeons and freaked and ran away to that park while they went in but went back and didn't run away last year!!!!
0 likesStrength, happiness, success x
0 likesDodie, if you ever feel like you're sitting on a bus with no one else next to you and you're all alone. Think about who's driving the bus. Get up, and start driving, Missy. <3
0 likesI cried at the end without really realizing first. I'm not somebody who cries a lot but the thing is I always had a small bus and I love that bus but I finished schooo now and I'm scared that bus will be left with just me
1 likeThat was an amazing metaphor. I have realized that I'm kind of going through the same thing.. I've been very unhappy for the past few months. I've been putting on a hypothetical mask. This mask is a fake personality. It's got bits and pieces of me but there just scraping the surface. I stay in my room to try and breathe. Take off my mask and just breathe. My family doesn't like it. They think I'm just staying on the Internet and wasting my time. I don't know how to tell them. I feel like if I tell them then I'm sounding like a drama queen. I don't want to tell them so I have to let go of people. I try not to get close so I spill. I have only cried in front of one of my friends and someone passed away. I don't like this person. I'm way to mature for her and she makes me so infuriated. My family doesn't like to see me sad so I only cry when their gone or when I'm supposed to be going to sleep. It might come from my fear of expressing myself. I'm not a doctor/therapist.
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(It wouldn't let me type anymore) I don't want to see one. I know if I do I'll have to tell everyone because I'll change. Then I'll start to lose people. People will start being all nice to me and being all sappy and crap. I don't need your sympathy. It makes me mad because their just being all sweet but it gets annoying. I have some close friends that I almost pour out on. I don't though because I'm too mature for them and if I cry they won't react well. Their guys. They aren't comfortable being a shoulder to lean on. All of the girls are drama queens. I don't know who to talk to. I was a VERY big liar as a kid so my parents don't have much trust. I don't like crying. I don't. It makes me feel weak and frail. I'm a strong person. I usually just pull through the tears. It's gotten harder. I'm crying writing this. Whenever one of my family members catches me crying they always ask why I'm crying. I don't want to tell them so I say that I don't know.
0 likes{Again} I isolate myself when I can't take it anymore. I cry and cry and think. Whenever someone finds me crying I make up excuses. It's not fun doing this. I hate it. I just want to wake up one day and not put on the mask and everything be okay. No stupid sympathy. I want to hop back on the same train with the same people and everyone be happy. So thank you for making me realize what I'm feeling is real. Thank you so so much. I can't express it enough. Thank you.💕
0 likes-Payton
i'm just a few years older than u but i remember when i was closer to your age a lot of people were getting off my bus too. i think its just that point in your life and your friends' lives where everybody is really becoming who they're going to be for the rest of their lives and it's just how things are going to be from now on. it helped me find more of the really good ones too tho. and i cant say i made the wrong decision in getting rid of the bad ones, even if it hurts more than anything else
0 likesThank you for getting on my bus Dodieeeee
0 likesI was diagnosed with minor depression in December last year. It was a bit of an emotional day, and weeks after that. People didn't believe me, one of my closest friends said "at least it's not major depression and you don't need counselling like me." From a friend, this hurt so much. I haven't had the same approach with her since. I don't like her as much at all anymore. Dodie, this video made me feel better about the situation I've been in with people recently, and the thoughts I have just constantly had throughout. I love everything you do, and you're such an outgoing person and seem so happy. The way you explained the last bit of this video about depression made it so relatable, and to know there is someone else out there who is basically feeling / felt the same, makes me feel a little better. Dodie, thank you for this video. You're an amazing person ❤️ With hugs, abi x x x
0 likesDodie I am feeling exactly the same way right now and I really don't know what to do. It feels as if all my friends are happy but I am sad and it is not even about anything in particular. I really don't know what to do and I am so confused about it all. Glad you are feeling better. Watching your videos is the only bit of happiness I get in a day. Thank you so much for the little bit of sunshine you share that helps me to get up in the morning
0 likesThat bus metaphor hit so close to home. I feel like my bus is currently pretty empty & I really, really hope there'll be people joining me soon.
0 likesYou were so good in Belfast. I am so sorry to hear about your uke its really sad. I'm very sentimental with my guitar so if that happened to me I would probably cry. (A lot)
0 likesBy the way cute tattoo
the bit where you showed you guys walking around near the london eye and sneaking into the park filled me with this great sense of like, fantastical adventure. i don't know how to describe it really, i just know i've had that feeling myself whenever me and my friends would find ourselves getting into things and just being young and carefree and whimsical. as someone who suffered from depression and depersonalization in the past, those were the times that were just so emotionally healing, like big bright spots of light shining in through the clouds. it made life interesting; adventurous. even though this was over two years ago, i'm glad you got to experience something like that. once you feel that kind of light, it's always there in your memory, even if it's toned with sadness from nostalgia. you can recognize how amazing that time was while it happened and appreciate it for all it was. i'm only 22 but i feel like that sense of youth i had at 19/20 is gone. it was such a special time for growth and i'm hoping to get that feeling again someday soon.
0 likesI think one of the most important things about depression is talking about it, because even though you don't want to do anything, I Know from my own experience that it's when your at the bottom of the pit that you need people the most. My depression was a result of ocd and anxiety and for me, being alone was the worst thing (even though normally I don't mind being in my own company) talking about it is so underrated. I hope you're doing ok Dodie :) xxxx
0 likesYou are so right about the feeling of depression being like, never ending. That was the hardest thing for me to explain to people- there was no silver lining or light at the end of the tunnel. It was dark and I thought it always would be.
0 likesI'm in a good, stable place. For me, counseling helped a lot! And I got it for free through my school! So thankful for it to this day. Thanks for your honesty!
I've never officially been diagnosed with any form of depression, but over the course of this year, I've had way more dips in mood than I've recognised having before, and I feel like it could well be a possibility that I've been experiencing it.
0 likesI do like the bus metaphor, but for me, the worry I have is that the bus is moving slowly and I have no idea where it's taking me. And I have people on this bus who are telling me that I have the power to drive it to where I want to go, but any time I pick up speed, I worry I'll crash and burn and have to stop myself.
What I mean is, I feel I can relate to this more than I would have in another time of my life. I guess part of being an adult is recognising that, as long as you have the right people on your bus, the ride can be a little bit easier. And seeing the friends you have, they seem like good people to me.
that was beautiful
0 likesYou are fucking awesome. Seriously :)
0 likesI've watched this whole video too many times.
0 likesPlease read the description guys. xxx I love you dodie
0 likesYour best video in a long time, or ever.
0 likesholy crap! my friends and I have been hooligans in that playground late at night too
0 likesthats my fav metaphor now thanks for making me emotional
0 likesI have no words. I love this and you so much.
0 likeshi, i don't know if you will ever read this, but i just wanted to say that you are such an amazing person, your videos all ways put a smile on my face :) but i know that i could never help how you are felling but you have helped me a lot. i understand how you felling and i;m glad you are finally seeing light and felling happy.. this video is so sad but so is the description..
0 likesDodie, I love you
0 likesI don't really know how to put this into words, but this video, it gives me hope, I seem to always come back to this. It's like you give me the energy through video (wHaT?!) and I can kind of see things clearer, the bus metaphor, I'm still waiting for more people to hop on; I've lost more or less all my passengers, especially over the past 2 months, but I'll be moving on to a new chapter in September; and I really hope that'll get things moving
0 likesI hope you're okay dodie, and I'm so glad that you have shared this with us; it gives me satisfaction that there is a broken community all around me, and that I will eventually be able to reach out; things will get better, even if I don't know when.
Thank you for always being that person that can give me hope, and for sharing this small broken part of you. It has helped me so much so far, and I'm hoping you'll continue to help me in the future
(n ya this was posted over a year ago but bruh I'm still loving it) ❤️❤️xxxxxxxx
I went to the park you broke into with my school in primary school 3 years ago. Jesus Christ nostalgia
0 likes19:48 Dodie I think you're sounding more Irish than American :'D
0 likesIn all seriousness, this is my favourite video of you so far. <3
I'm very often afraid that, at certain moments, I won't be able to appreciate my burger as much as other people. Well, I'm technically terrified of people pointing out their excitement and try to avoid it by all means. It is becoming an issue lately, and I need to sort it out. Thank you for sharing!
I don't really know who you are. I just randomly found you one day and started watching your videos. You are so fun and vibrant, despite your brain's greyscale issues. You remind me of a good friend of mine who passed away a few years back. You look and act just like her. This was very powerful and inspiring. I just want to say that you make a difference and I hope that means something to you. Don't waste it. You are incredible. You are insecure. You are human. Keep inspiring.
0 likes18:30
0 likesim glad dodie was able to enjoy that burger that day （╹◡╹）♡
Omg 22 mins of my favourite person 😱😻❤️
1 likeI turned 20 recently 10th April to be exact hahaa. i Felt exact same panic that oh gosh i'm not a teen i'm an adult lol... R.I.P Ukulele Glad you had a nice birthday and such a sweet tatoo!
0 likesDodie Clark I love you so damn much. Believe me I know that depression is not an easy thing to deal with, let alone come out of. I just wanted to let you know that you are a beautiful, successful and original you, and that's what's brilliant. As you say, people may get off your bus, but just by looking at the comments you can tell that there are many people that never will. Candice and BriBry are such lovely people and I'm sure they will love you forever more.
0 likesSo I guess what I'm trying to say is that no matter if you see it or not, your bus will always be full of people prepared to paint your world in vibrant, beautiful colour once again <3333
i related so much to the burger metaphor
0 likesand you looked adorable in the bouncy castles!!
keep being you!!
love you!!
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finished the video, im crying now. i want to hug you so much. and i hope someday we all find the ladder
0 likesFuckkkk that message in the description box. Today I have been feeling like crap and reading that made me feel so fucking good. THANK YOU.
0 likesto this day i still cry watching this video just cauz i relate to a few things in it ily dodie <3 (also i would like to apologise for dublin...... i was one of the screaming people.... I KEPT TELLING PEOPLE TO BE QUIET THOUGH SO I COULD HEAR YOU!!!) So i guess i kinda helped??? :'D ino this was from may like last year but when i went to the concert i felt like i was in one big family because everyone one was so lovely and kinda help me forget about a few things that still kinda 'haunt' me today if youd say that. so thank you (and bry + candice) for everything because if it wasnt for yous i wouldnt have found the best friends i could possibly have! lol cya at sitc 2016 ;D
0 likesI literally let out so many tears watching this, good ones and bad ones. What you've said in this video is completely relatable to me and probably many others. & Life sometimes (although great and wondrous and exciting) just doesn't seem happy or right or anything at all, but sometimes you get those days that push you forward and make you stronger. & dodie, just to add, you are such an inspiration and the amazing things you do make you so strong and courageous. Gosh if I had to get up on stage dodie I think i'd break down even if just 1 person was in the crowd >.< so yeah umm... I don't know where I was going with this but I wanted to say it. You're not alone. There is always light in the darkness. &btw your London show was fantabulous, Thank you for the experience, I grant myself lucky that I was able to hear and see you in person. c: xx
0 likesdodie aaahhh i love you so much <3
0 likesthis made me cry dodie omg
0 likesAaaarrrggh thank you for that letter - the video was a little long, but I watched it all and it was good :) - but that letter? That was what I needed
0 likesI'm still crying and I watched this an hour ago. I get the bus metaphor Dodie I ride on the damn thing every day. I have a great life I know this but all I ever feel is shit so I spend a lot of time trying to make others happy here and on my social media stuff. I have clinical depression, if you even think you have depression go and talk to someone. Talk to a school counselor, a doctor, a minister, whoever you trust. It will help I promise. TTFN. Oh Thanks Dodie now I really, really, really like you.
0 likesloved the video so much!!! i gotta ask what is the piano song that starts around 20:40? it's so pretty i need to know
0 likesi know a lot about the torturous, prolonged silence of this. i hope you are okay.
0 likesthank you. this gave me hope
0 likesAs a fellow, but also younger performer who has social anxiety lol. This video meant so much to me, especially considering that loads of people think performers can't be anxious, but it's different. You're an entirely different on stage (or in front of a camera)
0 likesNeedless to say.
I love you. You're great. Thanks for making this.
I'm honestly so happy for you dodie :)xxx
0 likesdepression is the worse thing thats happened to me but recovery and seeing the colour back in my life is hands down the best decision i have ever made! x
0 likesthat burger thing was a very good analogy. On my birthday I had a lot of...anxiety I guess which was a little bit new to me because i'd never had anything that bad. I would just have small waves of shakiness and my face getting really red and it being a little hard to breath on tests and when I was worried about something big and intense. But from when the day started I just felt like I was out of it and I was living through everything but their was a big foggy bubble excluding me out. A lot of people were wishing my a happy birthday and my whole english class even sung to me even though all of them really didn't know who I was. Then all of my amazing friends decorated my locker to the most extravagant thing ever. But then i just felt so isolated and out of it, not to mention I was really shaky and just kind of scared all day. When I told my mom about this she really didn't understand why it affected me so much. I loved that everyone cared about me and was so nice but I would have been fine with one little happy birthday from my closest friends and then have the day go on normally. It was just very overwhelming because this year is my first at a new, really big school and I just wanted people to forget I existed for a little bit so it could go back to normal. I just wanted to be alone. I'm not sure I really understood what happened either because everything was so nice but I just wanted no part of it. Does anyone know what this means?
0 likesIt's so, so lovely to see someone who understands what it's like. Obviously, everyone's experience of depression/mental illness is different, but I could relate to this video so, so much and I am so happy you uploaded this. I'm not very good with words and I know I don't know you in real life, I can only see the side of you that you choose to show the internet, but this video gave me so much hope for the future, especially considering this is exam period (in my final year of sixth form). You are truly a sweet, amazing person and you just made me so, so happy. I hope you stay happy as well, you really deserve it. So much love for you right now, Dodie <3
0 likesI don't know what to say... I can't tell you I know exactly what you mean and be all #relatable because fuck I'm not you, I don't have a huge fan base and all of this pressure to be amazing. I want to tell you that you are amazing, I don't even know whether that will help or add to the pressure or just blow over your head like 'meh'. But I feel like I should end this with a metaphor though, one that my Fairy Godmother Sally told me when I was suffering.
0 likesWhen eating and elephant, do it in small chunks. Just do it one step at a time. Some days you won't be able to eat a whole lot, and that's okay. Some days you'll feel like eating more than you should, and that's okay too. Eat the elephant however you feel fit, don't worry about what other people think of you, they're not you, and they're living their life in their own way just like you are.
P.s. I'm actually a vegetarian so please don't eat an elephant.
I don't really have a way with words and I find it really hard to express myself in english, but I'll try.
0 likesDodie,
You are so special. You are my favourite person on youtube and I know I don't really know you or have spoken to you directly , we're like a shitload of miles away but you give my life so much colour. Depression is hard to define but you expressed it perfectly. Just this big black hole inside of you that you try to ignore because your life is fine as it is but really you don't see it and everyone's happy and cheerful and no one understands. But you do, and you make it so much better and much less darker. Your videos give me so much hope, and I'm so glad you're feeling better because you deserve all the happiness in the world. So so much. Don't ever think otherwise and remember all the people who love you and are here for you. Thanks for making my hamburger a little bit tastier. love you.
Hope that you are doing well, Dodie!This made my morning from a horrible night of mental problems, thanks for sharing your videos on the interwebs.
0 likesThis is brave of you to talk about dodie. It's so important for people to talk about this topic and I'm so pleased that you're talking about it. Your explanation of depression at the end was perfect. Thank you, I'm sure this will help so many! Keep fighting, your days will get brighter and stay brighter!
0 likesthe burger analogy wow i feel this so hard !!
0 likesDodie thank you for this video. I really relate to what you're going through and I'm in a big deep dark hole right now. But this video has made me feel a bit better knowing I'm not alone in this blank tasteless world. You're really brave and strong for telling all of us what you're going through and it gives me hope. maybe I'll be able to get over the fear of telling others about this hole I'm in and being abandoned . You really do touch peoples lives with your words and songs and I want you to know that you are amazing and I love you. You are truly inspiring
1 likeThis should totally be a main channel series dude
0 likesThat bus metaphor fits my life perfectly right now. All my life my bus has been empty and sad then one day, not that long ago, it suddenly started to fill and it was happy and everything was good. But now everyone is getting of the bus and those who are still on it are only on it when it suits them. My bus is never good enough for them. The few months where people were riding my bus were the happiest months of my life.
0 likesyou just made me cry. I recently turned 20 and lets say my birthday was a mess. Not that it couldn't have been good there were people who wanted to spend time with me and everthing but at some point i just kind of snaped and everything went downhill. I came home and as soon as the door shut i startet crying not knowing why. Thank you for talking openly and beeing so cute :) and also excuse my shitty english
0 likesThank you for being the best bus ride companion :)
0 likesthank you for this.
0 likesthis video,I cannot describe my feelings towards it. I have these phases of where I feel just empty,grey and just empty. and I find myself sitting or walking through the school corridors for example,completely blank. I'm not happy and I'm not sad I'm just,empty. and at the moment I'm happy,and I'm scared these empty feelings will come back. but I come poetry relate to the bus analogy oh my goodness I relate to it so much to it. I cried at the end of this video,it was so so true and ah I can't.
0 likesYou are such a refreshment in my life right now I know that sounds a little wacky and I'm not quite sure why I used that word but you are. I'm dealing with people in my life who I have loved trusted and built friendships with who are now feeling far away and fake the best way I could describe it...is all of the ppl I felt knew me and I thought were my best friends now feel like first level strangers. And you have this utmost realness to you that can only be described as refreshing. Thank you for making me feel very much not alone:) you bring a greatness to YouTube that seemed unattainable.
0 likesI'm gonna be honest, I don't really comment on youtube videos ever but this time I had to, this video is possibly the most creative, honest and beautiful film I have seen on this sight, videos like this are the reason that I still have hope for this website, the internet really can provide people with beautiful things and dodie, your creativity and the work that went into this is inspiring, thank you for always trying. x
0 likesi am watching this before school and i am sobbing how dare you
0 likeshey! this was uploaded on my birthday :D very nice video. very sad about your uke
0 likesI feel like I may have depression. Recently I just feel like when I look back on things, I can't think of anything happy. I feel like every day is just trying to make it to the next one without an emotional breakdown. It's gotten to the point where there are only 2 people I actually like to be around and even then if I had to choose between them and watching youtube videos all day, I would probably pick youtube. I honestly think I have some kind of mental disability but when I talk to my parents about getting help they say "Aww you're fine...
2 likesyou're only 12"
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I know this comment is kinda old and you might be all better now or whatever but I just wanted to say 12 year old me could totally relate to you. I just want to tell you something that I really wish I could tell 12 year old me. Talk to someone about your feelings. They may not be exactly depression but whatever they are they're valid and they mean something. Talk to your friends and let them know how you're doing. Keeping things inside isn't good. Your mental health is super duper important. Hang in there. I know it doesn't seem like it but it gets better. Anyway, there's your random piece of advice from this stranger on the Internet. You are loved and you deserve to be happy :)
0 likesThanks so much it really means a lot. Honestlyy life feels like a train wreck right now but honestly I've just been looking forward and hoping for the best. :D Thanks stranger on the Internet.
0 likes+Bella Loperena Hey. So I don't know if that will help you in any way but I just wanted to remind you you are beautiful and you'll get through this. Stay strong, you ARE loved. :)
0 likesLove u. Let's all stay on this bus as long as possible.
0 likesI think you are one of the most inspirational people I have ever seen. This video alone has helped me, with its 'awful' metaphors and bouncy castles. For a long time, I didn't really feel like doing things, no matter how fun they sounded. This video has made me both say yes to more things and know that I'm not going to feel completely better after one attempt. It's amazing how one video has made me feel like this, because there was a point when I didn't think anything could make me feel better.
0 likesBoth those metaphors are perfect.
0 likesI enjoy when people can words especially when they are so poetically and beautifully said and written. Even more so I enjoy that the words resonate so deeply in my mind/soul. Even if I find myself unable to verbalize or explain my situation, hearing yours is so nice and comforting. It makes me feel like feeling like this (or not feeling) is legitimate and more importantly, okay. Thank you for existing and blessing the world of me and others with your internet/tangible presence.
0 likesHead up Dodie xx
0 likesPlease come to America, your singing is magical<3
0 likesI love you so much Dodie! If you ever want to remove me from your bus you are going to have to use a lot of force..but I hope you won't x
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@Ellie Taylor <33
3 likesIts 12 at night and I have school tomorrow but watching this video was so worth it! I've been in a dark place the past couple months because someone I knew for years and who I cared about deeply decided to hop off my bus but then come back and leave again. He played mind games and left me feeling useless and worthless. I was so used to crying myself to sleep it felt unnatural not to but recently I've been feeling better and the other day I found myself crying because I was so happy. Just genuinely happy. A Couple of months ago I would have never believed that I would be out of the dark hole but I am! It takes awhile but you get there in the end! Thank you for posting this video! It helped me realize that we're not alone, I love you and your music and just everything! Thank you for being you :)
0 likesah god dodie I love you so much
0 likesYou are so beautiful in every way.
0 likesA lot of the time it feels like I am riding that bus alone too and I've felt that most of my teenage life, but I'm trying to be more open and to allow things to run unplanned - I am not a spontaneous person at all. It's hard to try and fix yourself when what caused the fear and pain was my mind's way of protecting myself, but these past few days something has clicked inside of me and I have managed to avoid massive panic attacks which allowed me to experience the world a little differently. And I am massively proud of myself.
0 likesI think it's hella cool that you were so open in this video because it's nothing anyone should be ashamed about. From great heights one must fall but when you begin to get better you become so much stronger. x
This is really amazing! Does anyone know the song at 5:56 ?
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@arcticstrokes That song sounds extremely chill, yet no one in the comments seems to know the title of it...
0 likes@karatemonkey124 Yeah true. So frustrating it sounds like such a lovely song!
0 likesThis made me cry
0 likesJESUS CHRIST when the sad piano music started playing and you started explaining how your brain hasn't been working properly and when the depression hits you and you start crying it made me start crying too DAMNIT. I love you so so much dodie and it physically pains me to see you be immensely depressed and sad i wish it would just go away damnit you don't deserve any of this i wish you the best and i really REALLY more than anything want you to feel that genuine happiness all the time D: xxxx
1 likeIt's amazing how young are you and still have that vision for life(not only your great methaphors :D I love your videos on sexuality for example and your song 'paint', that clearly shows how u feel about make up). I found your chanel and that video a month ago, no I watch that video again because it's brilliant. I cried, because I feel your pain. It feels like so many people are depressed that sometimes I sit in my room and wonder what is wrong, am I wrong? I think "what if it's your imagination" but I realize-there is no imagination its all real. Worst of all u can't know what it is. It's just grey, and not 50 shades of grey-simply one stupid shade that makes your heart and your brain hurt. I t's not even pain. It's like a big mash-up of guilt, sadness and insecurity, and rearly you have those days when you feel happy, Your vids really helped to find a new view of life, one really close to mine. One that made me feel normal, because, honestly I often asked myself if i was crazy... I loe your original songs, I love your covers. I love it all. Thank you for everything. You are one truely inspiring person! <3
0 likesDamn, girl. Might have to file this video in with Allie Brosh's comics. Hopefully your brain has caught up to the fact that good Dodies shouldn't feel bad.
0 likesI really want my bus to feel full again.
1 likeYeah, people come and go from our lives. It's hard, but we gotta get used to it. :D
0 likesI relate a lot to your video and the bus and burger metaphors. I hope this doesn't sound rude, but it's kind of comforting to have someone I look up to, to be able to indirectly help me with this situation, because they've been through it. And ever though you don't know me, and you probably never will, I want to thank you for being one of the rings on my small ladder, and for being on my bus, even if you're not aware of it. And I hope to one day have friends as amazing as yours. Thankyou for everything Dodie.
0 likesLove Killian. :3
Last year my depression was really bad. I couldn't really feel happy anymore, and that caused social anxiety cause I didn't know how to hang out with my friends. Then one day it was my friend's birthday party and I had to go even though I didn't want to, and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
0 likesIt was a turning point for me? I felt happy again. It wasn't that everything was magically better, but it made me realize that I could be happy.
I'm so sorry for what you've been going through, but I'm glad you're finding your little moments of happiness :)
this made me cry
0 likesI truly hope you have a long and happy life. I hope i have one too. But i might not live for so long since i have diabetes. I am very young but i am in pain mentally and physically. You help me get through it all. You are a wonderful person. I hope one day i get ti meet you in person. That would be a dream come true. Please respond back. My name is Michelle (:
1 likeOk so I haven't had depression but like most people, I've had them days where the burger is no where near as tasty as it should be, and the days where the bus feels empty now and then (I love these metaphors, I've never heard any as understandable and #relatable before). Luckily, I've always found the ladder quickly. But this video is so lovely to know your experiences and also to be aware of that if it ever did happen, I'm not alone.
0 likesThis video made be tear up so bad (at college too!!) and in parts it was sad tears because no one should have to feel that way and it should always be the best burger ever and a bus full of the best people ever, but sometimes it just isn't and its heartbreaking to see you, someone I admire and love so much, to go through this - its what make us all human I suppose. BUT there were happy tears because you are climbing that ladder and god damn I know you'll reach the top!! You are surrounded by so many lovely people that will help and support you and love you so much and I hope they continue to do that for you. I hope you're reaching the stage that every burger is the best burger ever, and that the bus is full but only of the people you truly want in your life that will always be there for you when the burger loses its taste now and then.
BASICALLY, this video was brilliant and I love it when you're your self and with the people are truly a blessing to you. I love you lots and lots, thank you for everything, and here for you <333333
p.s #chibby is the best ship ever and thank you for being the reason i talk to so many wonderful people online including them xoxoxoxox
I can relate so much to this video 💜 The metaphors weren't crap you summed it up just perfect I love you dodie and I love this video I apologise for the loudness at the Dublin gig my ear drums were sore too 😂 I spent most of my time thinking Shh I can't hear Dodie 😂 Hope you liked your chipsticks I loved meeting you for the second time and not crying like a complete spanner this time 😁 I will forever be on your bus and follow you on your journey
0 likes22 MIN OF DODIE??? HECK YEAH
0 likesYou'd think the happy birthday would be more in tune. So cute tho XD
0 likesI'm turning 19 this week and i am freaking out!!!!
0 likesI listened to a poem on someone who loved their friend and the friend was suicidal. I started to cry because its so hard to not want to hurt anyone but you feel so stuck, and you know it will get better, but it will be a while, like YEARS until it will DEFINITELY be better. And I know that it may be sooner than that but its too blurry to know. I love you so much and I'm sorry that mental illness has to be such a bitch!! I have anxiety and I know you posted this video a LONG time ago and you probably won't see this but you help me with your songs and covers and videos in general, so...thanks :)
0 likesWonderful x
0 likesDodie, this video was absolutely brilliant. Seriously it's rare to find someone with such a perfect way of describing mental health issues and everything there just struck a chord with me and how I've been the last few months. Seriously proud of you girl and it's lovely to see you slow making your way out of it. There's nothing like it when you start to taste the burger again ;)
0 likesI wish you all the luck and love I can offer xx
what a beautiful metaphor.
0 likesI know that feeling of nerves in your belly. It's a swirly twirly terror of a tornado in your stomach xD not a fun time!
0 likesthank you for letting me ride your bus and thanks for riding mine :)
0 likesI know you put this out a couple of months ago but I haven't watch it till now, sorryyyy. But thank you, the metaphor you said about the burger, is so completely right. I have felt like complete shit for a couple of years now and it will be an amazing day and it's so great but it just feels so bleak, all grey and crappy and I don't know and I've never understood it I've just thought, "well I'm a weirdo why don't you feel so bloody pumped in this moment". I don't want to claim I have something without diagnosis from a professional but I have felt depressed for the last few years of my life and i haven't particularly told anyone. Well I did, I told my mum this one evening when I was a bit upset but she totally disregarded it and nothing more has happened since. I want to go sort out what's wrong with me and seek proper help but I haven't the guts, I thought by telling my mum she might do something so I could go to the doctors and talk things over to find out what's really wrong with me.
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+The FaultInOur_Wifi_ It's so sad that you had to defend yourself in this comment bc you're not diagnosed, that you have to fear people won't believe you. But you don't have to defend your feelings as if they aren't real when they aren't written on a paper by some doctor. Just wanted to tell you you are not alone and that you are worth it. Stay strong x
1 like@Lola Lovely You truly are lovely, thank you
0 likesI have felt nothing for... Well, for a while now. I have temporary bursts of happiness, but mostly I feel as if someone has turned off the lights in a big room, and taken the light switch away. It's horrible. But I'm trying to find my own sources of light. Thank you for giving me my temporary bursts of Happiness these past few weeks, I'm waiting for the day I get my true happiness <3
0 likesim still deeply in love with this video
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you are literally the only person that helps me with pretty much everything, and i thank you for that. i love you lots dodie.
0 likesThis made me cry. Dont ask.
2 likesas a dubliner id like to say that our crowd attitude is loud asf lol good luck at The Button Factory in October (sad i didnt get tickets 😧)
0 likesWhy are you AMAZING?!?!?!?!?
0 likesIf this video was just a big metaphor, it would be a fucking brilliant metaphor that shows people what life is like. I'm so happy you made this. Too many more bus journeys to come, stay yourself because that's the best you can be :) ( that was cringey soz )
0 likesi love you doddle
0 likesOmg i LOVE LOVE YOUR CHANNELS so much u are like my favorite you tuber ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! UR SONG paint is dah bom. And i just sub today and how do u send letters. THXS SO MUCH FOR BEING A YOUTUBER UR AMAZING
0 likesI can totally relate to the burger metaphor... Cause there are like days that are special and great and are supposed to be the best days of my life but I don't enjoy them even if I really try and I really want to but I just don't. But then there are days in which nothing extraordinary happens, it's all the same with the same people and well.. A day like every other, but most of the time days like that end up being like the best days of my life. I don't know why because when I look back to all the joy and fun I had on those days I keep wondering "why was did day so great because.. Nothing extraordinary or special happened?" It's not that I'm complaining but I'm saying that you can find joy in every single day. When you wake up maybe you will have no idea that at the end of that same day you will find yourself smiling and not wanting it to end. I don't even know where I want to get by saying all this soo.. But hey maybe tomorrow could be the best day of ur life who knows
1 likewow i'm just sat here crying now because for the past year or so my bus has been empty. I'm trying to see my life in a better light but its hard when you feel nothing. Maybe i should talk to someone.
0 likesi'm in tears right now but okay I know you wont see this because well this is just about 7 months late,., anyways a friend told me about your channel a few weeks ago and I only just started watching you yesterday morning ive been watching so many of your videos (honestly too many I need to chill its been 6 hours) and you seem like such an AMAZING person and you're just wonderful from the way you carry yourself to the way you treat other people, your music is incredible and yeah okay I'm notorious for not being able "to English" and I just kind of suck at wording things in general basically thank you for being dodie and for being a role model to so many people :')
1 likeI think all the colour analogies you make are really accurate. Like I've been struggling with depression for about 5 years now, and more recently I'm at a point where everything is just grey. Like from the age of about 15 to like 18 things were like black. And now things are grey. Like I'm not crying all the time or suicidal like I used to be, but I just feel really grey. Like I'm just existing not living. I just really want some bloody colour. Like, don't get me wrong, sometimes I do have colour. Sometime's I'll go like months and everything will be really colourful. But at the moment it's just really grey
0 likesyou are such a beautiful human
0 likesI love you and your videos so much ugh I want to be your friend so bad and you were so so lovely when I met you in Birmingham and argh what is this madness
0 likesdepression suckssss, for me it's like being happy for a while, then suddenly being sad and not really understanding why i'm sad or how to be happy again. but beep beep, can I get on your bus. let's be friends.
1 likePlease never forget that your bus will never BE empty, you have lots of people in your life that love you and would do anything to make you feel better, you are loved :)
0 likesMy brain doesn't work too- but I hope one day it will :)
0 likesthank you, i needed that.
0 likesOmg what was the ice cream you were eating, THAT. LOOKS. AMAZING!
0 likesgrowing up goals = breaking into parks and giant bouncy castles :)
1 likeThis was really inspiring, my bus is constantly stopping to let people on and off all the time. There's not many people that have stayed since they first got on, even if some of those who joined me are still there now, there has probably been periods where they got off. And that's sad because it's easy for them to just get off. I have been battling depression tonnes, and I find that the people on the bus don't really understand the route my bus has taken. Ugh life
0 likesDodie you seem to be a really positive person and I'm sad that you have to go through this alone and that you couldn't enjoy all the experiencies you lived. I literally cried when I saw the ukelele destroyed, I can imagine how much it mean to you. You are so inspiring, you are the one that encouraged me to start my channel and to follow my passion when everyone said to me that I shouldn't do it. I hope that you feel better know and that the bus is full of loving people. Remember that nobody has to go through difficult times alone. I love you so so much!
0 likesThis video is so touching...I dont know why.
0 likesI'll always be on ur bus Doddie I promise 😘
0 likesHey, you probably wont see this now since this is kind of an old video, but thank you so much for sharing this. I have been feeling so bad and the people around me either dont understand it or are too wrapped up in their own lives to see how awful i'm doing. This video however made me feel better about it like, even though i might feel like crap, i'm not the only one. Also like the fact that you, an amazing person as far as im concerned, have felt this way, makes me feel slightly less crappy? Like i wish you didnt have to deal with it at all, but it does make me feel better :/. So thanks for sharing this :)
0 likesMuch love xx
0 likesCongrats on your happiness!!
0 likesDodie I don't know if you will see this or not but even if you don't this couldn't have helped more I stumbled across this at the right time at uni and I get stressed and panic and really struggle at times today major deadline day and just don't cope very well and I guess I do have good days and bad day but it is videos like this that I'm not on my own that really help get through the rough
0 likesI love dodie
0 likesDodie we are all on your bus. You will need a forklift to get me off your bus. I seriously love you because it sometimes felt like you were on the only person on my bus but now I have a full bus and I have to give you credit for it. Metaphors so many metaphors. Is it bad to say this feels like The Fault In Our Stars xxxxx
0 likesAww Dodie, rip Ukulele
0 likesdo you say hello to people at every show? im most likely coming to see you guys at sydney in June and im really excited but im not sure what to expect.
0 likesI want to get on your bus but unfortunately I'm too far away and even online I'm always so awkward and at a lost for words 😬 This video taught me a lot and YOU've taught me a lot so thank you for inspiring me to keep on playing the uke (I play guitar and piano like you too hehe) I love you and wish you all the best in the future. You're a young adult now, you've got so much time to experience more, yet you're at the age where you already know a lot and you can do anything you want, so go for it. Wishing you all the happiness in the world xx <3 :)
0 likesOW my heart is crying
0 likesIf you feel anxious lye on the floor it will help your blood flow and calm you down
0 likesDepression is shit :( so is anxiety and OCD :( I wish I could just switch brains with someone
0 likesI hope you realise your bus was never empty, everyone was just upstairs waiting for you :)
0 likesWhen I first saw this, I had no idea what chibby was but looking back at it now CHIBBY IS LIFE
0 likesim in love with this video wowowowow
0 likeswow make a song based on this burger metaphor because it rocks
2 likesim so happy right now
0 likesoh god THE TEARS
0 likesOh my god, the ukulele😭
0 likesI keep coming back to this video.
1 likedodie i cannot begin to describe how much you have influenced me. i connect with you in a way that someone should connect with a best friend or a sibling even though we have not properly met. i have suffered from brain issues as well such as migraines, memory issues, mental issues in my brain (depression, anxiety, and panic attacks and stuff) and you truly help me. to calm myself from panic attack i love to listen to your soothing songs (vie en rose, pas de deux, riptide cover, etc.) bc it calms me. (trigger warning-ish) ive suffered from self harm and you have helped me conquer that and be stronger. youre so intelligent, kind, and funny. you inspire me with your vlogs and main channel uploads and i love it. you fill up this whole in my heart and i can never thank you enough. you've inspired me to be a better version of me; to try harder and reach a little higher in life. you've introduced me to music and i love to write music and sing now and i want to be a performer when i grow up. its far fetched but i want to dream big like you have. one day i want to upload covers and reach for the things i want. i want to be happy and care free, i want to be what you've inspired me to start becoming. i love you and you're videos very very much. thank you, love. xx
0 likesWhere to start ... This Veda is incredible. I mean it's so unique but I understand completely because at 17 I have been on that exact bus. I I can't say i know exactly how you are feeling however I know that feeling and it really isn't nice. Many people have left my bus and I realised that depression will always brake things however it can also make you that little bit stronger. Dancing has kept me going all this years and it there so when do I do feel like this I can take my emotions and I can make one giant routine however I want to whatever music and dance like no one is watching because you just need to have that one thing in life that is there for you. You are so inspirational and you should be extremely proud, because being able to put out a video like that takes courage I know as I've tried but I have never seen some one as determined and outgoing as yourself :) your bus ride will get better, it just takes time !!!!!! Xxxxx hope this helps ( not so great at advice XD)
0 likesI want a tattoo in the same place. How much did it hurt though? Like, really, tho
0 likes20?!!! Omgod I was sure you were older, you are too wise to be only 20!!
0 likesI don't think I'll ever get off your bus, Dodie. Your bus is like those buses with curtains and AC and heating and wifi. Your bus is the best. <3
0 likes1. You are so wonderful. 2. This video was beautiful 3. That hamburger metaphor perfectly describes the past two years of my life. 4. The people in the comments of your videos are so lovely which is probably because you attract other intelligent, lovely people. 5. Remember that even though we don't really know you, humans kind of have an intuition, and I can honestly tell you that you are an amazing human being who is very special and creates things that genuinely matter.
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This got so soppy but that's just how I feel right now...
0 likesDodie Clark I couldn't be more proud of you for making this. Mental health isn't an easy topic to talk about especially with all the stigma, but I'm really glad you're being open and honest.
0 likeshopefully everyone watching this will have the courage to remain strong. we will definitely continue to support you not matter what.
also you've explained it all perfectly with the bus and burger metaphors
I will always be on your bus ❤️
0 likesEverybody probably thinks I'm just some 12 year old who is over exaggerating but this single video has changed my life for the better. It has made me think the i can have a happy life and i can be what i want to be and nobody can stop me. To be honest for the first tim in about 5 years i feel actually under control of myself, Thank you.
0 likes:') i'm trying not to cry ahh
0 likesawesome video!
0 likeshears the word band mationed I play drums, if you need anyone( who doesnt understand things sometimes) well it, pick me! pick me!
"METAPHOR" will be a good title to this vid... damn feels i have to punch a kitten to feel manly again
0 likeseven me, an asperger without feelings had a quiet moment at the end. 0.0
0 likeslmao, I was just watching this video and I noticed that when you were climbing that bed that that's the same hotel that I've stayed in. At least I think lol. It looks so similair. (mine was in New Castle lol) Okay this is random. Love your video's btw <33
0 likesthat is wonderful
0 likesI love her hair here!
0 likesI dont even... i cant put this into words...
0 likeso.o...Just wow. You opened up to such an incredible degree, so I'm gonna open up a little bit. I used to have manic depression (self-diagnosed, but only in the last several years. In other words, it took me decades to make new realizations about this). You may or may not have manic depression. Hell, I don't even know what the "current" label for it is. Try to remember that there might not be any external forces making you depressed. In other words, it's your own brain. I don't know how people feel about saying that it is an imbalance of certain brain chemicals, but that's what it is sometimes. Awareness is a good first step. It's just some brain cells in rebellion making a fuss with some chemicals. Part of me believes in feeling your feelings, don't try to shut them off or deny them. On the other hand, being aware can change how they affect you, kinda put the brakes on them somewhat. I myself slowly grew out of my manic depression over decades. The manic highs were like seeing in color when everyone else sees in black and white. How do you explain color to a person born blind? Honestly, it's going to sound weird, but I dearly miss those manic highs. One thing to keep in mind: the peaks lead to valleys, and the valleys lead to peaks. You might not have manic depression, but I hope this helps.
0 likesOh my god you went to Belfast?!?!?!!!! I used to live there but recently moved to Norway 😭😭😭😭😭
0 likesI'm glad you've found colour😊
I'm not crying you're crying
2 likesAww, Dodie... You don't know me and you probably never will. We've met before (at Hedy's old shool and on the first day of comic con) I'll be the girl on the bus in the corner you never notice but will always be there. Mega feels watching this, I love you Dodie, you're the best and you will always have fans like us that will continue to support you through the shadows of our rooms even if it seems like we aren't there.
0 likessooooo much love for this vid omgg loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
0 likesI'm actually crying
0 likesdoddie u are my ladder
0 likesI'll ride your bus and I will never ever leave 💕😭
1 likethat burger analogy.... was so accurate
0 likesI met some great friends at your meet and greet! Xxx
0 likesI am the 1000th comment... Don't know why I wanted you to know that, but it looks like a nice number :)
0 likesI love you Dodie... This video was so full of feelings and I have felt it, I know what you mean, cuz I am suffering from this blank feeling these days, it has been for couple of years tbh, but I want to happy, I want to feel that I have some people who are setting next to me in my bus. I wish you happiness and I wish I'll be like you one day :)
Lots of love xx
Yo about Dublin, you should just go to a concert in Dublin and experience being in the crowd because I don't know what it is but like EVERY concert is always like that everyone's always hyped idk what it is?? Sorry if we freaked you out though!! you were fab and it was lovely meeting you again !
0 likesI just want to give everyone the biggest hug, I'm the biggest sop
0 likesOMG YOU USED MY FOOTAGE :D THANK YOU
0 likesI coughed at the same time as you haha
0 likesyou have a sock bunny! n_n I made a few for my nephew and niece like 2 months ago :D
1 like...the video hasn't started and it was the first thing I noticed, sorry for the offtopicness :P :)
OMG when u cried!
0 likesMah poor heart sank :,p
The music at the end though... Please stop making me cry Dodie!! But I'd but like a trillion tickets for your bus xxx
0 likesDodie,
0 likesI'm not sure how much this will mean as personally others trying to sympathize with me works either really wonderfully, or really terribly, but hopefully you understand what I mean when I say I understand some of what you're dealing with. You are an absolutely brilliant person. I've been subscribed to your channel for quite some time now, and you're one of the few people that I watch on a regular basis. I absolutely adore you, your music, style, and essentially everything else that is so simply YOU. I am so beyond glad that you've started feeling better, and I hope you continue to feel better!!! You've helped me so much in regards to all my silly luggage, and I can't express that enough. Stay adorable, mkay?:)
Well, I'm crying
0 likesi cried at the burger analogy
0 likeswhere did she get her cute duvet cover from? I need to know aghhhhh!!!
0 likesI just saw myself omg 💕💕💕💕
0 likesthat ending tho
0 likesThe worst is when you know it'll coming back. And then it comes back and you try to ignore it, but it doesn't work... aw. But I try my best to live! :)
0 likesHellooo Hiyaaa yup I felt like I should leave a comment because I may have possibly cried lolwat I am super glad we are becoming friends and stuff it is super great and I am glad you were able to enjoy that day I hope that you are starting to feel better and stuff but yeah that day was sossososo good and needs to happen again ok I shall stop now hopefully seen you soon yup love you byee <3 xxx
0 likesps burger description was very super good amazing way to describe it to people
tfw u cry ur eyes out over a youtube video,, seriously though dodie fvck i love u, we all love u n i hope u realise ur bus is the best in town <33
0 likes17:06-17:08 cutest thing ive ever seen
0 likesyou're such a cute! and i love how inteligent you're aaaaahhh marry meee.i am sorry abouth that your ukulele..died and all this stuff what happend to you..but MARRY ME ANYWAY
0 likesbigUp from Czech :)
Your welcome for being on the bus that everyone else is on, enjoy the ride, admire the view @)----- smell a rose, and have fun. One question.. am i correct on the fact that your best day ended in south bank Australia? #ilovebrisbane
0 likesI want to be on your bus lmao that sounds like a euphemism
0 likesthe burger metaphor is now my favourite thing ever
0 likesDon't worry dodie I was planning on crying anyway
0 likesThe bus metaphor is the thing that hit me the most. I isolate myself from people and I always have since my dad abandoned me and my family. My bus is the school bus no one wants to get on because they know the hell that bus will take you to but there are those few people who are excited for the journey of that bus not the destination. Many people have not even tried to get on my bus, some people have got on the bus but then I sit next to them and we talk through half of the journey and all of a sudden there's a pothole in the road and people run scared but there's those kind, loyal people who stay on the bus just to see where it takes them. I feel like my bus has been empty for a long time with me just sitting in the back seat but maybe I just need to jump into the drivers seat and let my bus fill up and not care who gets off but care about who stays on. Ly Dodie ❤️
0 likesI am not a person to cry. But Dodie, this video has made me cry harder than I have cried in years. It pains me to see such wonderful people go through things like this. I guess the reason this video made me so sad is that I relate to it so badly. I got diagnosed with depression when I was 13. I had no clue what depression was, but apparently I had it. Then I got the answer to why I´d been feeling like hell for most of my life. I´m still convinced I grew up too fast, I never felt like I had a childhood. From the very beginning, all I´ve been doing is worrying, and holding things in. A year ago I told myself I´d beaten depression, it was out of my life and it wasn´t coming back. Oh god I was wrong. For a few months now something has been wrong, with both me and my mindset, and it wasn´t until now I realised why. I just feel so lost. I´m lost in a city filled with my demons. I can´t move out before I´m done with my education. That´s five more years of this dreaded place. As I said when I hit my lowest point, I can´t recover in a city filled with memories. Wherever I go my past is there to haunt me. I feel like I am trapped in a box filled with my demons, and there´s no way out. Gosh I´m so sorry, this comment wasn´t even supposed to be about me. Here I was trying to write something about you, Dodie, about how you are one of the strongest and most inspiring people I know about, and it turned in to a huge "woe is me" rant. I´m sorry. I wish you the best of luck and happiness. Dodie, you deserve nothing but the best. I hope you´ll never forget that if you ever feel lost, you have countless friends (and strangers on the internet, like me) to turn to. They will, without a doubt, listen to you, and be a shoulder to cry on. You´re never alone.
0 likesWHY WAS LUKe wearing a Christmas jumper?😂💞
0 likesI love the part in the lift at 7:57 onwards. Jokes
0 likesyou're an adorable precious cinnamon roll kthxbye <3 can't even handle it
0 likesOkay so usually I don't write really long comments or comment in general because it can be bleh but there is one thing that I did make up a while back. It was a situation where I nearly lost a friend. At the moment I was in extreme panic and it to all I had in my body to say everything I could but let me get on with it. So let's say the situation or life itself is like a rope of some kind. The rope is tied to the knob of this sealed door. At the moment it can't be opened when your far away. But that's when you grab on to make your first pull. Along the way you get rope burns and sometimes it will get tiring. And that still means your allowed to give yourself a break, but it's important not to let go of the rope. There is always something or someone, (possibly a friendly ghost lol) that's behind you, and it can or cannot be noticeable but it's there. Continuously climbing at your own pace on this rope you can start to notice that the door is unlatching. The minute you notice that it is should at least bring up your strength on that rope. Eventually, you'll get to that door. How you interpret your opening is up to you, but it will definitely be something fresh. Sorry this is length for a semi old video. But I thought it could be helpful and I certainly hope it does seem helpful. One more thing: there is this random quote I found that definitely adds up to all of this "your current situation is not your final destination".
0 likesAwww, the meet and greet was at my concert!!
0 likesDODIE CLARK HAS BEEN IN THE SAME PARK AS ME OMGGGG
0 likesoh gosh im crying
0 likesIronically you're eating a burger. So how did that burger taste this time dodie?
1 likeOMG when adventure time is one at the end i started crying it got too much omg
0 likesThis is weird but when i had covid i ate a burger and it tasted like nothing and the analogy in this video is exactly what i thought of
0 likesI know this is a bit random but - where did you get that cool vest from?
0 likesi feel like my bus is filled with ghosts, people whom i know are there for me, but i can't seem to reach them. (continuing with the metaphors) idk lately i've just felt like life is moving too fast and i can't keep up with anything. there's bursts of colour in some days, but in others i feel so grey and black, but i feel an obligation towards the people i'm with, that i have to act happy and be funny. thank u for showing me that it's possible to feel grey in moments where u 'should' feel colours. i thought i was the only one (which sounds silly, i know). i'm so so glad that u are on the road of feeling better with your bus full of people, love u ♥
0 likesYour bus will NEVER be emty because we all love you no matter what
1 likepls say I'm not the only one who wants to go on the bus and refuse to not leave
0 likesdublin crowds are the absolute best!
0 likesI'm wearing the same owl t-shirt right now ^^
0 likesDear Dodie, I know it sucks because I've been there, but I also know how good it feels when you've overcome it and you start feeling good again. Just think about how many people stop their lives for a few minutes to watch your videos, and you're having an impact in all of our lives and we're learning things from you and it's good, it's so good because we (or at least I) don't see you as someone above us, you're more like a friend, and it's great! You're the kind of people I'd love to hang out with! Also, your hair looks amazing, really really amazing!
0 likessorry to hear about Dublin.... i wasnt there, but i know irish people can be really overwhelming. i think we are generally a pretty loud, boistrous people. i hope it wasnt unpleasant for you <3 ily
0 likesReplies (1)
also, im really sorry about your uke, that sucks. i would cry so much if anything happened to mine.
0 likesYour so intelligent with the metaphors! How much for a bus ticket?
0 likesI love your hair!--
0 likesBest video of my life
0 likes14:00 I would submit most people are lying about how good the burger tastes
0 likesI've got extreme crowd anxiety...
1 likei have the same shirt as you! Good choice x
0 likeskurt cobain had the same felling ;)
0 likeslove u doddle
I love you <3
0 likesi'm back for more feelings
0 likesYeah I actually love you.
1 likeI have depression and I've been sectioned (section 3) so I'm currently in a adolescent psychiatric unit :( it's shit, I'm here because I tried to kill myself 3 times in a month, two large overdoses and then I went to a multi storey car park and was sat on the edge but police came and grabbed me :( I've been here for 3 months and I have 3 more months until my section ends, but even then I might not be discharged! I'm in a unit in Cambridge but I live in Bournemouth so it's 5/6 hours away. it's such a horrible environment being in a unit, because how can i get better when I'm surrounded by mentally ill people who are (unintentionally) triggering and horrible 😓 I just want to get out lmao but there's no chance of that for another 3 months
2 likesReplies (1)
+Laura Davies Hey i know my words cant change anything for you but I just thought you should know that right now just this second im giving you a bit of my strength so that maybe you can get out of there faster...
0 likesIf you're going to leave the cough in then use it to sync the audio. No need for the clap.
0 likesI have a cold.
Did you keep your ukulele?
0 likesI got a picture with the drummer omg💕💕💕
0 likesmy bus feels a bit pointless rn, their's maybe only 3 people on it and no one's sitting beside me. i hope more people get on your bus and only the bad leave. i imagine your bus has a floor that's covered in cushions and everyone sings softly and have heart to hearts. i want to be on that floor of your bus so bad!! and it's white covered in coloured polka dot (sorta like the the plane on come outside lol (i think my bus might actually be a plane; no one can get on bc it's thousands of feet away from people 😕)) i hope you continue getting better, you seem like a lovely, wonderful person!! 💕💗💓
0 likes60,000 people is a big bus, but we're all gonna try and get on it if we can :D
0 likeshow do people with depression live. seriously everyone who has a mental illness should get a pestigious award or something. I have mild to moderate depression, anxiety, bipolar, and I don't even shower, brush my teeth, or really take care of myself at all. I can not imagine what it is like to have a severe mental illness. my tip: force yourself to be around good people.
0 likesI need her hair in this video.
0 likes💜
0 likesI need a girl to hold forever I'm so lonely.
2 likesReplies (2)
you'll find someone! xx
0 likesshe will come, eventually. but try to enjoy right now. spend as much time as you can with good people
0 likesHaha, sammy would be the best boom guy 😂
0 likeswell i cried
0 likesI love you :) <3
0 likeswow. I have felt like my bus was empty for so long because why let people on when you know they're going to get off again? why would they want to stay on a cold, sad, grey bus when they cold be on a warm, happy, colourful bus? I have felt like shit for the past year or two and this week hasn't been great and this day was pretty horrible but I knew you could cheer me up while I was crying. for years I have felt like no one understood me and that i was completely alone in my cold, sad cave but after watching this video i'm starting to think maybe someone does understand, maybe i'm not alone and maybe I should let people on my bus if they want. I want to thank you dodie, for making me feel better and brightening my day and just being you, I love you so much <3 i'm gonna leave now because this is too cheesy
0 likesI love you so much
0 likesI LOVE YOU
0 likesI love you so much
0 likesIt's always hard to say goodbye to people who leave the bus... Sometimes it does feel like the bus is empty. I think it's a great metaphor! And good things don't taste as good as they should, sometimes. But even though the bus might seem empty, I've learned that people can seem invisible to you, but that they're actually still there. Okay, some people really leave one way or the other, and don't come back. But some of them are only hiding behind a corner. :) I know that when I feel bad and I actually really need a hug from a friend, I try not to bother anyone with it, I keep it to myself. Which is stupid, of course, but it's something that comes naturally. But friends do not KNOW you need them if you don't tell them. They might not have a clue that you feel sad, if you keep hiding it away and don't let it show. And only if they know, they can give you that much needed HUG and make you feel better. :) I don't say it's easy
0 likesand I know it's a clichébut asking for help or talking about things can make your heart and head feel lighter. And most importantly it makes you realise that the bus is NOT empty, and friends can appear from behind a corner, who hadn't left you alone in the bus after all. :)Wow this is long haha. You just got me thinking... which is a sign that this was a very good video and I think you're really brave putting it out on the internet like this! I remember when I turned 20 I felt so old, haha. (I'm 21 - and though it's supposed to be a special birthday, turning 20 felt stranger and more important than turning 21 haha) Have a good 21th year, Dodie! Who knows, some more truly happy days might lie ahead! <3 And ps I'm so sorry about your ukelele, that really really sucks... it looked horrible!! Stupid people who drop boxes on instruments! ^£&""@(%$!!!:'(
I never want to get of your bus :'D
0 likesWait... DODIE WAS IN MELBOURNE!?!
1 likeI'm just now watching this and kicking myself for not watching it sooner.
2 likesthe tears
1 likeThank you
1 likeNo one's on my bus so I just fill the seats with food. sigh
0 likesThank you
0 likes"Then I called my mum."
1 likeHeLlo MUm I hAVe A tATtOO
I love you.
1 like<33
1 like<3
0 likes<3
0 likes1:00
3 likesit's a LOFT BED
I cried
0 likesYour shirt😍😍whered you get it?
0 likesi love you so so much.
0 likesThis made me cry?????
1 likeI feel like maybe I should accept that some people have gotten off my bus and that maybe they'll never buy a ticket again. But I need to stay on the bus to reach my destination. Did that makes sense? It did to me. Idk
0 likesi cried.
0 likesI have the same shirt❤️😄
0 likes💜💜💜
0 likeswhat's the song she was singing at 3:45? it sounds so familiar and it's driving me crazy
0 likesTHE MUSIC
1 likeI NEED IT
Dublin....
0 likesTHE SCREAMS OF DEATH!!!
Dublin...AAAAAAHHHHHHHH
That burger thing though, literally never summed it up better.
0 likesDoes anyone know where the version of Adventure time that is played at the end of this video is available ?
0 likesDepression sucks so bad dodie i know and on sunday night i stsyed up till 5:45 am because i could not sleep at all but if you can feel better i can too xx
0 likesI had a ticket for the Aberdeen show, unfortunately I had to work that night so didn't get to go
0 likesI love you.
0 likesDoes anyone know what song Dodie is dancing to at 5:59?
0 likes12:09 Made me check my messenger, silly Dodie :p
0 likescan i have a bus ticket to dodieville please?
0 likes"what an awful metaphor" lol
1 likeI've done the exact same thing in that park at southbank
0 likesHey thanks for this and how was that burger?
0 likesi just want to find my awesome brilliant bus too
1 likeYou're younger than me???? Well that was a weird piece of information.
0 likesI love you.
1 likeFrom: that venezuelan girl you wont see on the coments
She named so many places in Ireland why didn't I know about this, why couldn't I go why! What!
0 likesI feel kinda like you but it's not constant. Like I would be fine then I would feel like shit for a few days then I'd be fine again for like a couple days then a few days of shitiness then I'd be fine etc., but it's really annoying and sad and fucking confusing I don't know what I'm feeling half the time and idk. Just wanted to say something. You've really been an inspiration for me, thank you dodie!! :)
1 likeWhat was the song Dodie was dancing to at 5:58?
0 likesvery nice video
0 likesHonestly, you've explained this better than ANYONE I've ever heard try to explain it before. It's not easy to just "be happy!" like everyone tells you to and sometimes even something that you logically know should be fun or happy or whatever just ISN'T. I think that's something so many people don't realize when they're trying to dole out advice. I'm so glad that you made this video, and even more glad that you're coming out of the depression pit yourself. x
0 likesI don't usually cry at things. It's just not something I do. But I think it's the honesty behind this video that gets me...
0 likesGAHHH hugs!!! soo many hugs!!!!
0 likes💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
0 likes0:49 ITS LOFT BED DODIE
0 likesDodi this video really touch me because really you are my favorite YouTuber and I love you because you are creative and happy and funny and you give good advice at the end of the video and I sometimes I relate to you and I say you are not alone all of your fans including me love you and if I had munny I would buy lots and lots of ticket to be on the bus with you and even if you don't read this I love you and you're my favorite YouTuber because when I'm BORED or down ill say hey lets see if doddleoddle did a new video and that cheers me up and I got something to say to you keep doing you're videos and you're songs because you are very talented and don't lose hope and yeah love you and have a colorful🌈 , wonderful 😺 and shiny day☀, night🌙, week🌄, year🌅, infinity ⊂x⊃ (I tried to do the infinity sigh but it turned like that.😶😳😏 Oh 🐳)
1 likeWhere did u get ur dress and cardigan from cause I love it so kick
0 likes3:32 I wish they had twisters in America
0 likes(HUG)
0 likesI HAVE THAT TOP BY THE WAY XX
0 likesthis is interesting omfg lel
0 likes<3 <3 <3 <3
0 likesstill on the bus, lol <3
0 likesI need tons of bus tickets.
0 likes"I just got on"
2 likes( bus metaphor )
The bus is empty your on your own the world is gone but the uver part of that metaphor is the bus is never empty and you just have to look to find the others you have a barrier but barriers were meant to be broken and if you look in you will find the way to break that barrier I know how to break mine but I can't, don't do that to your self break free I can see you have the power use it don't give up it will take a long time but to give up will make it harder in the future I Know this and I say this to all with depression good luck to you
0 likesADVENTURE TIMEEEEEE
0 likesLuv u. <3
0 likeswA HEY YOU CAN KIND OF SEE ME AND MY MOTHER IN THE DUBLIN CLIP NICE
2 likesI love you
0 likes6:05 < anybody know what song was playing there?
0 likesTHE MAN IN THE BACKGROUND IM LAUGHIJOGND
0 likesCome to Madrid,please! ;)
0 likes♡♡♡♡
RIP dodie's ucklele :(
0 likesI've got the same singlet as you!!!!!!
0 likesWhat was the thing you sung with the small group of girls at the beginning?
0 likesread the letter in the description !!!
0 likesWhats that piano song in the background at the end?
0 likesily. so much. <3 thnx
0 likesMy bus; it's pretty empty but there's cool music. Yeeh. cx
0 likesWhat does the tattoo look like whaaaat does it look likeeee
0 likesWhat's the name of that person at 2:10? so handsome ♥
0 likesI think… I think I was insufferable
2 likesReplies (1)
and yet we all still here so u must be doing something right 💀💪
0 likesDamn... We're the same age O.o I'm a touch older, (had to add that, October here haha) so obviously much smarter ;) moahahaha!
0 likesIt was soo important that someone would say that depression isn't logical. No matter how great your life is, you just can't enjoy it. Once I told someone about my brain and mindset the person was like "don't be silly and stop feeling sorry for yourself, there are people with real problems". I do know that I'm blessed but I can't just stop feeling crappy, it's not that I once said "Hey let's just start having depressed thoughts!" I just feel like people don't understand that a mental disorder is an illness just like any other illness and no one would tell a visibly sick person to stop complaining. so thank you dodie. thank you so much. i really love your videos and your honesty and i think you are just an incredibly cute and lovely person so thank you for this video and just thank you for being you. sorry if i bored anyone reading this, i just needed to get that out.
0 likesthere are electric ukuleles
0 likesWhat's the song at 5:56?
0 likesu are great okay okay
0 likesThey say it gets better but it's not working....
0 likesoh mY GOD CHIBBY
0 likesAAHH BRY IN THE BACKGROUND 1:32 I MET HIM IN OCTOBER
0 likesWow.
0 likesThank you for this Dodie, your honesty and bravery is truly admirable. This video was an eye opener, and the first time I've heard what I am feeling put into such accurate words. I'm glad you are feeling better, and I'm grateful to see that there is still hope out there.
1 likeThis moved me so much. I'm so glad that you are starting to feel better now, Dodie :)
1 likeYou really are such an amazing and inspiring person! I met you ages ago at George Reece's album launch gathering and you are so approachable and cool :) Take care of yourself!
I LOVE YOUR HAIR IN THIS VIDEO AHHH
1 likeI stayed up for this and then you made me cry dodie why 😂 this was really very beautiful x
1 liketake care x
2 likesReplies (1)
@Jasmine Irq :) :)
2 likesthis is probably my favourite video that you have ever created, i loved this a lot
2 likesI love love love this! Cause I can relate I was kinda going through some brain not working time lately and feel its finally working again :)
1 likeDodie, this is beautiful. I cried when I watched this. Thank you for being on my bus. 😋
1 likeReally really loved this ❤️❤️ The burger metaphor was really great and I love how open you're being! A lot of people will relate to this video, so you might be that little drop of colour for them! 😊
1 likePs I like the rabbit on your bed 😜
I'm so glad I waited for this, this is honestly one of my favourite videos on YouTube and I know it was probably really hard putting it out there, and I think you're really brave to, I am so glad I waited, it was worth it :)
1 likeYou continue to amaze and inspire me just by being you and I think that's beautiful. We all love you Dodie x
1 likeJust to get this out of the way, I fucking love you. This is the most really and honest video that I have seen yet it meant so much. U are an inspiration with literally everything you do and I just want to thank you for being Dodie <3
1 likeur so amazing dodie. ive had depression for a year now. i thought i was getting better but now im in a slump again. and when youre in a slump, and i slump's not much fun, un-slumping yourself is not easily done. but you have made me remember that you can have good days, and hope and happiness can still be felt, you just have to wait a little while. i wish i could come and meet you in auckland but im not allowed ): so i guess ill have to admire you from a far :) xxxx
1 likeI love this video more than any other video on the internet. I can relate so much and I know exactly what you're going through.. I actually shed a little tear towards the end.
1 likeP.s. the metaphors were perfect :)
Thank you so much for sharing Dodie, your bravery will never be overlooked :) I remember this feeling well, and I think we both know that things are better on the other side of this stupid uphill climb :) Thank you for sharing your story with those that may really need to hear it now :) hugs
1 likeI just turned 20 on the 1st of May too and it does feel very weird. I'm glad that you're starting to feel and get better. I got slightly teary at the end I must say. Some people have also got off my bus recently but the ones that have stayed on have been amazing and I've got closer with them. Love you so much. <3
1 likeThis was a really lovely video Dodie <3
1 likeGods, dodie, this was beautiful.
1 likeIve just watched this before i go to the funeral of a close family member, and . . . I can feel the tingles running up and down my spine.
This was so real and so great . . . Im so glad your bus is full now. And im hoping everyone can have people like the ones you've met, and i hope things continue to get better for you. <3
i adore you, dodie. i relate to that description so much, although i have been getting better lately. your videos (and meeting you at playlist definitely made me happy for a while) helped/are helping in getting me through mental illness soo much and distracting me when i need it/can't sleep and stuff. stay strong <3
1 likeyou... and this and YOU and ALL OF YOU... have been the sunshine for me on this awfully rainy terribly horrible no good day
2 likesI really really hope you feel better soon Dodie <3 here's to many more bouncy castle days! You bring so much happiness to your viewers, you deserve to feel that same happiness yourself. Just remember that some of the best days of your life haven't happened yet - so always look forward to the future! It is full of hope 😊 <3
1 likeDodie you are an amazing inspiring person. Your bus will always be full. Be happy. ^_^
1 like+ well down Dodie for powering through
1 likeKeep going
You can get through this
Proud ❤️
This is beautiful dodie so so beautifully put :') what isn't so beautiful is the fact I am watching this at 2 in the morning being sick...:) but this has brightened me up, thank you so much :D
1 likeyou are such a lovely human being and i am so beyond proud of you
1 likeim so sorry about your ukulele!! You have inspired me in so many ways and i love metaphors. I loved the one at the end the best
0 likesDodie, this means a lot because I am kind of going through the same thing and I'm stuck. It's nice to know other people have amazing lives but sometimes just can't appreciate it cause their brain you know is shitty and annoying. This kind of gave me some much needed hope...so thanks I guess <3
0 likes-Kay
wow that was beautiful. Mental Illness sucks but I'm glad you're starting to feel better. keep doing what u do bro
0 likesOmg :( I'd cry for about that long <3 I love my little ukertin
0 likesYOU SAID FECK IN THE DESCRIPTION THE IRISH ARE COMING FOR YOU YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I AM RIGHT NOW 🍀
0 likesI have never heard someone describe how I feel so perfectly. The burger metaphor was the perfect explanation to a lot of grey days in my life that I couldn't explain. And the bus one as well. You have so many people on this bus of yours Dodie, and it almost seems ridiculous to feel alone while on it. But I understand completely. Thank you for truthfully sharing your thoughts <3
1 likedodie i love you! i love how honest you are with us. i love how when you find that bit of colour you are so appreciative and i love how you treat your friends and how you treat your viewers. and i love your adorable voice that you say isn't big or special but which we think is absolutely glorious anyway. i love your stupid sense of humour and your lovely sister and the fact that you wanted to share this with us. and i hate the fact that this message sounds like something out of a crappy film but i'm trying to put across how much i appreciate you. this made me cry, but happy tears, because i'm glad that you're feeling better again. thank you for sharing this.
2 likesReplies (1)
@Miriam Gallacher :) :) :)
1 likeGod I needed this, Dodie <3 Thank you for helping even though you didn't know you were, and you probably don't have any ideas on how this helped but just...thank you. Much love xx
0 likesDidn't think I'd be tearing up at the end of this video, was worth it though, great video :)
1 likeWell, now I'm lying in bed crying because of how beautiful this video was instead if revising or sleeping like a non-internet kid :D
1 likeThis was so lovely. Like it was sad and happy and it made me feel nostalgic for those kind of days where you just goof around with friends.
0 likesGreat video Dodie and the letter in the description was amazing so so so happy you are feeling better <3 <3
1 likeawh Dodie im so proud that you made this. i'm glad you're feeling better and i know what its like to be swirling into what feels like a never ending pit of gray. im so glad to have discovered you and i hope one day i get to meet you and tell you how much you've helped me.
1 likeThank you Dodie. you are so loved and your bus is overflowing <3
This was so well done and so beautiful. It completely captures what depression feels like but also what hope feels like. Xx
1 likeReplies (1)
@Annalise Keller awwww
2 likesthank you x
Oh my goodness! Dodie I've only started watching your videos the past few weeks but absolutely love your channel and your songs hit me so hard I really feel them resonate within me. You describe some of my feelings that I can't even put words to. You have a voice like an angel and seem like such a lovely person! This video is another I feel the same way as you sometimes, and it's so hard because knowing you're missing out only makes you feel guilty & worse - it sucks an unbelievable amount :( I'm really really happy to hear that you are finding happy times now and those bouncy castles look AWESOME! Wish we had that sort of thing here!
1 likeSending love and best wishes from little old Perth in Australia:) xx
I honestly started crying at this because it's such a raw and personal video but it was still beautifully made. I'm always impressed with what you put out xx
2 likesReplies (1)
@Jenny Fizzy <3
0 likesI am going to re watch this video to make me smile!! love seeing Dodie happy
0 likesI'm in tears of how brilliantly amazing this is c,:
0 likesah dodie youre such an inspiration! youre one of my favorite youtubers <3 just letting you know that youre amazing and awesome and i know you get told that all the time but still c:
0 likesThankyou. Thankyou so freaking much for summing it all up in such a beautiful and eloquent way. I have felt so completely alone, as though no-body would get how I was feeling at the time, but you have pretty much just described the exact same.
2 likesThis right here is the reason that I love youtube. Reading the tag last night, watching this video now and seeing a range of others and just seeing that people are out there that actually do understand and they can work through it.
I'm just rambling now because I have 0 cohesive thoughts so I'm sorry but thank you so much again. I hope you're okay and that I can see you again soon! <3
Replies (2)
@Jamie Faulkner :)! Oh my goodness what a wonderful comment. I love you xx
2 likes@doddleoddle I need a ticket to your bus xx
0 likesThis video reminds of how much I love just sitting around and having great conversations with people and messing around. Unfortunately that doesn't happen that often but when it does it feels amazing.
0 likesThis video was the first youtube video I've ever seen where I felt that even though I don't know you, and even though this is just 22 minutes of an entire month of your life, I could feel that you're a real person and not just a face on a screen. Thank you thank you this was the most beautiful touching thing I've ever seen in my life. This video shows how there is always hope in this world, that it's so big and yet the smallest thing can brighten and change your day. Thank you Dodie for sharing this. PS sorry for all the cheese :)
1 likeThis is an amazing video. It's quite an honest insight into the trials and tribulations of doing something you love. It also shows how genuine you are by being that honest to everyone.
1 likeIt was devastating to hear the feelings you went through and see the teary-eyed footage but I'm happy to see that you're on the other side of a heavy raincloud.
It was the loveliest thing meeting you after the Dublin gig and having the same high-pitched reaction to seeing each other. I know I may have hopped on the bus only a lil' while ago, but I've got my ticket 'til the last stop. Keep being awesome, Dodie, and keep moving forward. :}
This is my favorite video you have ever made.
2 likesi love you dodie! keep being great and i'm glad you're getting better!
0 likesThank you. I need this and it really touched me. I've been having issues with depression and yeah thank you.
0 likesthank you for making this. i really needed this. I feel like no one is on my bus right now and it's frustrating. anyway lots of love <3
0 likesI'm so glad that you are feeling happier. Depression continues to break me... but I'm truly hoping that I can feel better someday too.
0 likesThe letter in the description made me tear up a bit. I'm lucky enough to have found my ladder with the help of some amazing people, but that was fairly recently, and one of my biggest fears is finding myself in a cave again.
1 likePowerful stuff 😢
1 likeStay strong 😘
I lost two family member really suddenly this week and your vedims are a really nice boost to get me through the day thank you so much ilu ❤️
0 likesI'm so pleased you're starting to feel better. I'm proud of you for uploading this and being so frank and open and lovely. Keep looking after yourself, keep creating beautiful things, surround yourself with people you love. Hugs - you are wonderful! <333
1 likeReplies (1)
@WeAreAllMadHere96 thank you so much!
2 likesThis was wonderful!!
1 likeThis video is one of the best I've seen, and I've seen A LOT. You are amazing Doddie and this video feels so real. It's just like we got to meet you, or meet a part of you we didn't really knew I guess? I love you and you are such an inspiration to me. Keep it up ! Xxx
0 likesOh my goodness Dodie I just read the description and the tears just came right back. Mental health is so confusing and it is so difficult when this happens to someone. Your video has really made me feel like there are more than only one person in the world that are feeling this way. You have helped me so much and I just want you to always feel happy. I know we have never met and probably never will (😞), but I just want you to know something. There are so many people that you have helped, including me, just by sharing your talent and complete amazingness on the Internet. You are such a wonderful person and someone like you should never have to go through this pain.
1 likeXoxo
Nearly cried, a damn good description of depression. Stay strong x
1 likeReplies (1)
@Macbury18 <3
0 likesThis was so worth staying up for :)
1 likeThank you so much dodie for being apart of my life. I have been subbed 4 only a short while, but it has been so so amazing. You are one of the realist, best youtubers I know and just thank you for letting me be apart of your bus . xxxx
0 likesi love you, dodie. being on your bus has made me a very happy person, even though i've only been on it for about a year. loving the ride so far xx
0 likesThis video was so extremely beautiful, I'm so sorry that you felt so low in the past but you need the low points to appreciate the high points in your life! (I think or maybe that just sounds stupid idk) This video really inspires me to do want I want, no matter what. You're travelling the world with people you love, sharing music and memories with people who adore you and I don't know its just an eye opener that we can really do anything with our lives. Just know whenever you're sad that I'll always be on your bus and a stranger you can rant to (@adambrxwn) if you need to. I love you and your videos and I'm so glad you're feeling better again! <3
1 likeReplies (1)
@d0ntlookup gahh thank you x
1 likeThank you for this. You put into words what I have difficulty expressing. Depression is ugly, but you give me hope.
0 likesThat bus metaphor is so sad yet so true. It literally hit me hard in the feels :')
0 likesDodie, ever since I started watching your videos, I've thought of you as this wonderful bright, beautiful and inspiring person. The kind of person who is kind and considerate and grasps every moment and cherishes it. Thank you for sharing all you're going through with us, I feel like your bravery inspires me to try and makes me admire you even more. I know how you feel when you say that your brain won't let you be happy, I'm the same, but the moments of happiness when you remember how strong your hope can be or how beautiful a sun-washed field, the sea or the people around you are, it feels worth it. Everyone deserves to be happy and depression can be so consuming but I feel like the silver lining is, when you have joy, it's simple and special and worth every chest pang and tear.
0 likesP.s. Sorry for being so sappy and cheesy and I'm so glad your life has colour again.
Wonderful video Dodie, I understand what you are going through, and how confusing, hopeless and tiring it can be.
1 likeI myself have lived with depression and anxiety for most of my life, depression mainly getting worse in the last five years. But, there is hope, and I am getting better. I have started seeing Physiologists and other mental support people, along with this I am now taking medication (as much as it pains me to rely on medication, for me, it works).
I have felt like I see the world through a grayscale filter for years, like I am never alive, never awake, only dancing the dance of life as an empty shell, a fake facade.
But once again, for the first time in years I am starting to wake up again, remembering that there is happiness, there is life and that I can actually feel things.
I find myself appreciating even sad moments, as for so long I have felt nothing.. nothing but fleeting pain.
There is life and there is feeling, there is hope and reason to stay alive. Live, love and do anything that makes you feel good, no matter how small. And maybe just maybe it will light the spark inside you once again.
P.s. You are wonderful, and do wonderful things. You're caring, and you help people with videos like this.. even if it's just one of your songs helping them feel just a little bit of light in the dark.
I'm closing on the last week as a 20 year old and know exactly how you feel. When I turned 20, I went to the roof of one of the building at my university and just kinda cried for a little.
1 likeThe bus metaphor is really a really good one, right now at university it feels like theres a constant shuffling of people getting on and off at different times and with such brevity at times that I haven't been able to describe it fully. There's also a lot more inviting people on and being rejected which is very different. Sometimes it feels like people get on and off so fast and now it's just a game of reminding myself that I'm ok riding the bus alone. It's happened before and I will be ok as long as it keeps moving forward.
I have panic attacks a LOTTTT and your videos really help me a lot Dodie. You brighten up my day every time you upload a video!
0 likesOh, you are so incredible Dodie. I admire you so so much
0 likesBeautiful video. Thank you for sharing your metaphorical bus with us. I'm sure some of this wasn't easy to talk about, but I'm so glad you're starting to feel better!
0 likesIts strange to watch this and hear you say this as it feels so close to my own thoughts. Its also so lovely to hear such honesty from you and to hear the truth, which many other youtubers would never share. Im really happy to have you on my bus Dodie and I hope you dont get off any time soon.
0 likesWow Dodie! I'm glad you shared this with us and it has helped me understand depression more.
0 likesI'm sorry if this is off topic, but are you going to Playlist Live??
Never comment on anything ever, been a viewer for a while. But this, this video is important. Thank you <33
2 likesDodie, you are one of my favourite people in the world! I can't explain in such few words but you inspire me to be different and kind and to be myself. I'm glad I stumbled across both of your channels because I literally wouldn't be the person I am today. Thank you for being you and thank you for your brilliant and lovely contribution to this world <3 x
0 likesThis was so lovely dodie <3
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@JacquieVlogsHere :)
0 likesI enjoyed every single second of this video
1 likeYou're a courageous human Dodie, we love you so much and there's a lot a lot a lot of us! I hope it keeps feeling better!
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@Charlotte Russell Aw charlotte! thank you xx
2 likesI've literally only known your channel for maybe 4 days now and it has become my favorite channel and I cannot stop listening to your songs so I'm glad you are starting to feel better and hopefully it gets better from here because you deserve to feel happy
0 likesMy absolute favourite video you have ever made! This made a bad night ok again. <3
0 likesDodie,please when you're on tour again and if you end up in Ireland,allow me to give you the biggest hug ever, I hope your bus picks up the bestest passengers and you have the best time with them :)
1 likeDodie Clarke.. You give me hope. I love your video it made me feel better and I adore your metaphors bc now I understand something I didn't before ❤️
0 likesOmg this had me in tears I've been feeling like shot recently I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and people just seem to jump in and out of my bus when they want a free ride NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY I WAS TRYING TO BE COOL AND INCORPORATE THE METAPHOR
1 likeDodie, this is amazing. To see you feeling depressed makes me so sad to know there's not a lot I can do. But let me tell you this: you've helped me and many people with depression and anxiety. remember your asmr video? I used to pull all-nighters, even with my meds, because of my anxiety and depression. But since you told your audience about that, it's been wonderful sleeping. I don't know how many times I can thank you on behalf of me and tons of others for helping me through this horrible disorder. I hope you feel better soon, I love you.
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@stella grace aw man
1 likethis means so much to me!
thank you <3
<3
0 likesThank you for sharing this Dodie. I can very much relate to how you were feeling on your birthday w/ the burger metaphor (amazing btw). I've been feeling like that for a long time when in situations I should actually be enjoying. It's made me feel a litter better knowing I'm not alone in the way I feel. I'm happy that you are feeling better now. You deserve to be happy ❤
0 likes~
Also I'm 19, turning 20 next year! 😥 I hope this year takes its time! I'm not ready for this lol
This whole video was so full of awesomeness and amazing days and yet you had me crying at the end. You are such a colourful, bubbling person and I'm so sorry you felt grey, sad, tired of everything, alone. I know it's an illness and not necessarily a personal opinion - if that's even the right word for what I mean - but I'm really, really happy you're feeling better and that you know you're not alone. Neither in this state of mind nor on your bus ride. And I'm proud to be a person on this bus, even though I'm way in the background, maybe more of a little bug on one of the windows, sending positive comments. But you'll get through it, and at some point you'll be able to enjoy every single burger again.
1 likeLove you, okay? xx
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@Wisperwynd you're so on my bus
2 likesand you're like
a cool bug
like a ladybird
<333
@doddleoddle I'm so proud to be the coolest ladybird on your bus <33 And we'll pass shitty grey tunnels together x
0 likesNever stop being you dodie
1 likeThank you so much for sharing this.
0 likesWow, thank you so much Dodie, honestly. Your videos have inspired me so much to just try and get out of bed in the morning and face the day, even when I can't. This year has been especially bad for me, I feel like Ive lost my ability to care, I know that I do, but at the same time I can't and so I just push people away so they dont get sucked down with me. Skipping school, failing exams, it just keeps piling on, the stress, self pity, self hate, everything. But your videos help to lift the burden, even in those minute long clips, you make me feel colour, like you said at the end, and you'll never know how much that means to me. Thank you, you'll always have a seat saved next to me on my bus. <3
0 likesoh my im crying this was really great actually oh man
0 likesI can't tell you how happy I am I randomly came across one of your videos 3 weeks ago. I've barely been watching your videos that long but I know you are an awesome person and you deserve all of your fans. You give me hope whenever you post a video like this so thank you. (:
0 likesDodie, I've watched this video twice now, and it's left me in tears.I've been through similar things. Like while everyone else seems to be having the time if there life, your kind of just sat there thinking "Why is this so amazing? It's kinda cool, but what's the big deal?" For me the worst thing about it all is that, I strive to be independent, and i struggle with trusting people, which makes it really hard to tell the people I love and care about what I feel and what I'm going through. I'm afraid I'll be seen as weak, but I'm slowly beginning to realize, dealing with depression, anxiety, or any mental or physical illness doesn't mean your weak. It's shows you are strong, and that you can keep going. For me, it means that I'm different, in a good way, and that I means that I'll be strong enough to achieve whatever my heart desires. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with me, and I think it's important to remember that. Being different, in my eyes, is amazing and should be embraced. It show you can do something others can't,so just because you're struggling now, doesn't mean your future will be any less bright. ❤
0 likesThe best times in life is when we don't expect to be happy, but we are. Sometimes it takes nothing at all, from a stranger being the first person to make you smile, to moving to the other planet, anything can make you feel better, and I'm glad something has. You always seem to put on this front of being happy and energetic, even if you're not. You deserve to be happy Dodie, we all want you to be, we love you. And any and all of us will be here by your side, no matter when, where or what, we will be.
1 likeThank you so so so much for this video Dodie. I too have this wall in front of me and I remember around last year I used to look around my wall, and just see pure happiness and friends. But no matter what I did I couldn't pass this wall and I was stuck in sadness and regret. I'm so happy that I've recently jumped over my wall and living my life like I really should. I think I should thank you Dodie for helping and believing in every single one of us no matter if we were across our wall or not. You even helped some of us jump over our walls. Thank you so much, Dodie.
0 likesyou really pinpointed how i feel a lot of time v your metaphors :+) i lov this video so much
0 likesI was keeping myself from crying during the video but when i read the letter in the description i started crying. and thank you dodie, thanks for being so inspiring and putting a smile on my face when i watch your videos and see how beautiful, amazing and talented you are. you are such an inspiration and just a lovely human in general. so thanks for being great. xxxxxxxxx
0 likesNow i'm sobbing, thanks. I guess I can say my mind has stopped working too. But at least I can join your bus and meet new people to make me happy. Dodie you make me happy. I barley know you I'm just a screen for you but you make me so happy. Thanks <3
0 likesDodie, I've been following you for about 3 years now, and as someone who suffers from depression myself, I have been able to recognize the journey you've been taking. I have always admired you for videos such as these, and I haven't commented anything about them before, but I feel as though I have to now... You have made me feel not alone. You have made me feel less isolated, because I know that someone else out there thinks and feels such horrible things. These videos help me, they help us, and I hope they help you. Your music is medicine, as are you, even though it's hard to feel like it. We're in this together. Thank you for this. Thank you for being.
1 likeyou're so important, loveliest dodie
1 likeThis is so nice. I've also struggled with depression, and I could really relate to a lot of this video. I'm so glad you're feeling better, and I'm so proud of you not only for pushing through but also for sharing your story. Even though its a bit cliche "it will get better" is such an important message because even when its back for just a day or even a couple hours it feels (to me) like its always been this way and always will, even though thats just not true. So again, you're so strong and wonderful and I hope your depression stays for a very long time. :)
0 likesThis is the best video I've seen in a really long time (along side BriBry's latest video on cutcakenotwrists). :3 thank you!
0 likesCan I just say thank you for sharing your life and your thoughts and feelings so openly with basically a bunch of strangers? You didn't need to be so honest, you could have made a video with all the happy bits and pretended everything was perfect, but you didn't, and I really appreciate it.
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@***** ahhh I enjoy sharing my life :) <3 thank you x
0 likesI completely know the feeling of just not being able to enjoy anything. When I look back on a trip I took with my marching band from earlier this school year I see this great trip that coulda been great but all I feel is sad because I was I such an awful place & bad stuff sorta happened too. I hope you start having more and more days like that colorful one, Dodie. I love you:)
0 likesI think a lot of us can speak from experience and remind you that depression comes and goes but I hope that this wave of yours is little and drains away (and stays away!) fast because you seem so lovely and I wish you the upmost happiness <3
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@MancIsSo4YearsAgo the depression was a giant wave! like a friggin tsunami! but I think i'm just bobbing along for now and it's quite nice, and hopefully it'll stay :D
1 like@MancIsSo4YearsAgo I use far too many metaphors
3 likesThis actually made me really excited to see u and Bri when ur in Adelaide next month. And I know from watching evan's vid to bring u some Redskins! Lol
1 likei've been suffering with depression for a while now. there always seems to be this grey cloud over my head that's keeping me from enjoying the sun i see everyone else in. i can't seem to shake the feeling honesty. i really hope one day i'll be happy again.
0 likesI'm bipolar. I've been battleling it for more than ten years now, sometime with success, sometime not so much... Your video shows that mental illnesses happen, that they are something to live with both as a daily fight and as a marathon. I think it's really brave of you to speak about it, to aknowledge the akwardness and vulnerability that comes with it, the magic of the beautifull moments of relief. I wish someone would have talked to me about it when i was younger, i would have felt less lonely and weird at times. It is a shattering realisation when you grow up that there is no "grown up" stage, no certainty or clear path to get the sense of. There is just a slow, very slow, construction of a few convictions about what is life, what is love, what is hapiness... A fragile skeleton on which we all try to gather as much sense about life and good people as we can. That's not much string to cling to but i believe it's enough to make of life, if you're brave enough to be true to it, and we all can see that you are. So, thank you and good luck doddie!
0 likesThe bus metaphor at the end was beautiful. I'd be lying if I didn't say I teared up a bit.
0 likesfirst off, thank you and I'm so proud of you I can't even put it into words (like OH MY GOD I feel like your mom I'm just so happy that you are happier and getting happier) second, thank you for this. I may or may not have cried a bit towards the end there, but I totally understood it and what you were saying and the little video clips just got me. thank you for just I don't know.. talking about it and being one of my very favorite people ever in the world.
0 likesmuch love 💕
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@Gwendolyn heiler thank you! xxx
0 likesWords cannot describe how I feel about this video. In April,and even this month, I have been depressed. I'm slowly getting better because I have learned that talking to someone or anything, especially a camera, is the best way for me to feel better. Depression frumping sucks but it's all worth the pain when you finally feel happy again.
0 likesI've never met you but you're awesome. And all your fans love you, your videos brighten up my day and you're my favourite Youtuber and if I knew you as a person, probably that too.
0 likesGood lord I cried so much in this video I think I've created a new river
1 likeAnd I've decided to name it Dodie's happiness because it was all blocked up with grey sludge and now it flows more freely and the water is clean and fresh and sparkly and there are kind good fish swimming in it.
LOL SO CHEESY IM SORRY I'M JUST REALLY REALLY GLAD YOURE FEELING BETTER
LIKE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY GLAD
#METAPHORESAREACTUALLYTHENEWBLACK
I haven't watched the video yet, as I know I'll end up in pieces and I have a therapy appointment tomorrow, but thank you for this video Dodie. You are truly wonderful person and I'm so happy that you're beginning to feel good again. My ups and downs are less frequent and the positive thoughts are lasting longer than the bad ones so I think I'm starting to get better too. We've got this; we can all kick depression's arse.
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@Marianne Lamb good luck!!! x
2 likesYou put words into beautiful sentences.
0 likesI should be sleeping... but it was worth staying up for to see you happier Dodie. This was such a lovely message, that is so important to share. You are fabby... x
0 likesThis is beautiful.
0 likesListening to this while writing a ginormous research paper was not a good idea bc now i'm crying and it's hard to see to type. I hope you're feeling better, Dodie! you deserve the whole entire world. And i would like one ticket for the Dodie bus pls. that sounds like a fun bus ride.
1 likeMy god this was amazing
0 likesI love love love that burger analogy, it hits the nail on the head!!
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@daneesaur thank you!
1 likeDodie, firstly you made me cry and I really want to give you a massive cuddle and say that everything will be okay.
0 likesThank you for posting this video. You just summed up the feeling I've been trying ti understand and more recently explain for a while. I've watched my little brother struggle with Mental Illness for the past 3 and a half years and have seen him try to end his fight when he's got stuck at the bottom of his hole and he has no sign of a ladder. It's not a nice feeling and its very hard to understand how he feels as I 'm not in his brain. More recently I have been feeling grey too ( I like that metaphor). but I too think I've turned a corner and had my day in the sun and found my rainbow of bright and beautiful colours again.
Mental Illness', Stress, Death, Cancer, and all the things that cause people to be depressed are all completely shit. But knowing that there are people around you that love you, that care about you and that make you properly smile when you can't remember how to really makes a difference.
Thank you for posting this video, I think it is very brave and must have taken a lot for you to share this with the world.
Mental illness and in particular depression are stigmitised and shouldn't be. It's important that people understand what they are feeling is being felt by other people too. Nobody is alone. Nobody is beyond help. Nobody should need to end there fight.
Remember it's okay to not be okay.......
Dodie, this is my favourite video of yours. The piano cover of Adventure Time at the end made me feel extremely emotional and was gorgeously played, and even though I know you can never really love someone you don't know because you don't see the real them, you see what they choose for you to see, I really do feel very strongly for you and I love that you trust us enough to share this with us. It's brave and I'm so happy that you're conquering the wall that for all we know could be weeping with cast off ideas and dreams, but there's always time for a new beginning. You're limitless.
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I wish I knew why you never notice me. You're my favourite. I can't hold it against you though. You're full of wonder and you bring light to my life. Good luck in the future.
0 likesI'm crying, Dodie you are such a wonderful wonderful person and you are so talented and idk I hope you have a lot more colorful days and also was that a piano version of adventure time at the end?
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@Kristina Schumacher it was :D
2 likesI get this. Depression has been my life for at least 6 years mind you I'm 16 at the moment. I always liked the rubber band metaphor talking about snapping back and it being worse after being happy. I've had an empty bus for most of my life and now because of high school I finally have some people on my bus and it's scary to have people, most don't get it that someone can get used to being alone but I did and I feel like that's how I'm meant to live. I don't know this got strange quickly anyway I want to say I love this video and I hope we are on each other's busses. I love you I hope to meet you one day ❤️❤️
0 likesi love this video! :))
0 likesI didn't know how young you were. Oh my goodness you have so much heart and spirit. I live in a tiny city in the middle of the united states and your life is full of so many adventures.
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@Melissa Dudley Should also mention that you're a lovely person, and it's perfectly alright for you to experience times when your brain isn't working. Not that a comment from a random person matters or anything. I just feel love from your feelings and that's why you're so talented and brilliant. <3
0 likesright now nobody is really on my bus and the driver seems like a dick, but just watching this, and like, seeing that everything seems to work out in the end gives me so much hope. you might not realise the impact you've had on 17 y/r old boys life, but you've helped. alot. sounds so weird typing this knowing i haven't even spoke to you before and it seems weird to say that only your online persona has helped me through tough times.. its crazy to think you are only 3 years older than me but yet you've helped so many people. I just love this community so much. this probably made no sense, but i had to say something.. so yeah, um, Thank you so much Dodie :')
1 likedodie, dodiedodiedodiedodie....you are amazing and genuine and overall a magical human. i just want to say thanks for everything, and this video along with dotties has made me realize some things about me and my brain and all the mushy gushy feelingy stuff blablahblah
0 likesi am happy that you're happy and i hope you continue to be happy, because you deserve it!! you truly do! you make me happy when skies are greyyyy. sry for that ahha but yeah i think vedim was a brilliant idea, keep it up you beautiful human you! be happy, stay true, and dont forget to be awesome! :) xx
Without sounding patronising can I just say how amazing and brave this was. I know there's this weird sense of control that comes from making your life and your brain look shiny and happy on the outside, but I think it's only when you acknowledge how shit everything feels can you start to deal with it.
0 likesObviously I don't know you, but it comes across so naturally that you're just a good person and try really hard to be happy and bring that happiness to other people's lives. Trust me when I say I know that feeling of frustration and devastation when, despite all those efforts, you just can't feel the joy in life. You can see it, objectively as you put it, but it's just outside your realm.
I feel really hesitant saying this, because I feel I have no right to, but sometimes medication is the best option. I was on an antidepressant for 8 months and it was really the best decision I ever made. Sometimes you just need to take a break that sadness and get some perspective.
All the love!
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@Eileen g a wonderful, intelligent comment! thank you x
0 likesI love you dodie
1 likeDODIE I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT WITH THE BURGER YOU LIKE LOOK BACK AND YOU'RE LIKE WHY WAS THAT NOT A GOOD DAY FOR ME?? EVERYTHING SHOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD AM I BEING STUPID?? BUT YOU JUST WEREN'T QUITE THERE AND EVERYONE ELSE SEEMED TO ENJOY IT SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU DID AND IT MAKES YOU WANT TO CRY BC ALL YOU WANT IS TO BE ABLE TO HAVE A GOOD MEMORY OF THAT DAY BUT YOU DON'T
1 likeoh Dodie, you really know how to get me... sitting in here in tears. I'm so so happy that you're starting to feel better. you are one of the most loveliest people I've ever had the privilege to meet and you deserve all the happiness in the world <33
0 likesalso, the bus metaphor hit me hard. My bus used to be so full, like a party bus, but right now I feel my bus is really empty and I'm on a massive bumpy, curvy country road. I know that one day, hopefully soon, my bus may be busy again but until then I'm so so thankfully for people like you, and bri and candice for all the little things. just the music and videos and tweets and being so lovely to me when I've meet yous, just keeps me going and hoping that, one day, the bus will fill up again and the party will restart <33
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@Victoria Maitland make a party in your bus! I'll come!!!
1 like<3333
Thank you for making this. I hope the burger stays delicious.
0 likesI reaaaallly should be sleeping now, but ohh well haha. I didn't know you that you have depression until this video, I'm the same here- I have it and it runs in the family along with anxiety. I'm so glad you found the ladder, I hope I will too soon (and hopefully before my last 5 years of being a teenager are gone). Also wooo cats (^_^)~
0 likes*trigger warning* Thank you for talking about this. The way you described/illustrated being depressed was great, I relate so so much! You really are incredibly inspiring, dodie. You've given me a lot of positivty through your videos, and now knowing you've dealt with these types of issues, I'm even more appreciative. I also deal with depression, and I actually almost committed suicide in January and ended up at an mental health facility where I was diagnosed. Since then I've gotten on medication and started therapy.But I am just now in the last few weeks truly starting to remember what life is about, and feel happy again. To anyone who's struggling, I promise you even when depression has you going through hell, things WILL turn around for your, and that burger will be HELLA delicious with extra cheese and bacony goodness. <3
0 likesI'm so sorry to see that happen to your uke. I know the connection I have between me and my uke and would be devastated if it was destroyed.
0 likesI feel like i've been in the same place for awhile now too. of course i've had days that have lifted me up and i've seen some color but then it's gone. it's back to grey and bleh and it's frustrating. i've gotten better since the end of 2014 but i've always felt doubt and i've left most of the past but sometimes i can't help but to revisit the past and let it haunt me for a bit. so i do know how you've felt and oh my goodness does it suck. but enough of that. you're videos bring me happiness and they fill me with hope. you remind me of the friends i have and the places i want to see and the things i want to do. now go get some sleep, and love you <3
0 likesThis really hit home. Such a beautiful video. Crying.
0 likesReplies (1)
@Jack Hawkins <3
0 likesThis resonates with me so much. I feel greyness sometimes and the struggle feels quite intense, especially when you can't explain it to everyone else or be good for everyone else. I think you sum the feeling up pretty well, and I can see so much hope in your voice. I hope the feeling lasts, or that if you struggle with the grey again, at least you will still have the memory of vivid colour. I'm with you on this one Dodie, proud to be a subscriber. <3
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+Isy I don't know if anyone has seen this but I've just realised that, for the first time in my life, I'm able to admit I might have depression. I was looking for videos on depression/sadness made by my favourite creators and I came back across this. I'm going to the GP in the next few days, funny how the world works. Thank you so much Dodie, really.
0 likesLots of love from Edinburgh, Is x
not so much a bus ride as a Magical Mystery Tour!
1 likeOh my gosh Dodie this is so nice ily xxxxxxxxxxxxx
1 likeI lost it at your little note at the bottom. At first I didn't know why I was crying, then I realized I was just so happy that you were finally feeling better because I have been in the same shitty place for the past couple of months. For me things are starting to look a little brighter as well. Although my brain is not working completely quite yet, you've helped me see that this can't and won't last forever. I cannot thank you enough for changing my life. Keep on doin you :)
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@rvcupcake14 xxx!!!!
0 likesWhy you gotta make me cry Dodie
0 likes"or you've written your username wrong ..don't do that"
1 likeim so sorry #me
also I'm so glad u can see yourself getting happier, even if it is only a little bit at a time bc u are so wonderful and u deserve to be happy and mental illness sucks. I love u soso much and I am so proud of u !!
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@Zoë Walker lol yes you
2 likesahahah thank you zoe!! x
Dodie, omg, you've responded to most all of the comments on here and that, to me makes you Queen BAE. Don't respond to this. Get your sleep. The content of the video and your letter has filled me up w/hope. Pinky swear accepted, thank you.
1 likethank you Dodie
0 likesDear Dodie, you are one of the most truly inspirational Youtubers I have ever ever seen and I am so glad I get to watch you grow into such a strong, more confident, really lovely person, inside and out (oh god I sound a bit paedophillic(if that's even a word)) aHhhh you are a God damned fabulous human being, even when you have every reason to be upset, you still smile and aLwAySs put others before yourself and wow, there's not many people like you left on this cruel earth.. Hmm I wonder if we could make loads of Dodie clones and I swear the world would be a much much much (multiplied by 183837743838) better place ahhhh ...if only💭💭 but then there's all the ethical issues with cloning and all that jazzzzz.... (Biology revision brain sorry) wow, you're such a blooming inspiration to everyone, you show us that, yes, mental illnesses DO suck, however there's always going to be a ladder to climb out of the deep abyss of feelings and thoughts and that ladder may be hard to reach, but you CAN reach it (metaphors are life m8) ps you'll always be a part of my amazing bus of amazing people, and I'll never leave that bus... Ah, and people will come and leave our buses, some who we thought would stay forever and never leave our sides... And then there are some who we put so much time and effort into and then we don't get it back, welllll, they can hop off at the next stop! AHHH SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING DEEPNESS BUT I CAN't EXPRESS HOW STRONG YOU ARE, WELL DONE FOR NOT GIVING UP, SEE, YOU C A N do THIS AND YOU ARE WORTH EVERY PLACE IN THIS WORLD, STAY SNAZZY XxxxX
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@Katherine Lee aww :D thank you!
1 likeWhy did I cry watching this?
2 likesGod Dodie your letter hit me right there... This video kind of opened up my eyes a little bit. I am surrounded by all these awesome freaking people that love me and want me to be happy but I just can't bring myself to do it. Smiling seems like a hardship, let alone enjoying myself which feels like a chore. People ask me what's wrong and I just don't know what to say because there really is nothing wrong. I'm being sad for the sake of being sad and it's just such a part of my human nature now that I don't know how to stop. I love you so much, and your videos are one of the little rays of sunshine in my life, and it kills me that you're going through this. I'm so happy that you're getting better though, because people like you shouldn't have to deal with this.
0 likesGeez sorry I just wrote a book but thanks if you stuck with me. Love you Dodie. <3333
you wonderful person, its good to hear things are getting better. Also is the piano version of adventure time you had in the background at the end something you did or can it be found somewhere else?
0 likesDodie are you ever going to tour in America?! I adore you and your music but I live all the way over in New York! Just curious, no pressure!
0 likesI had the same 'burger feeling' after my bat mitzvah. I never really understood it but you manage to put it in to words so thank you!! <3
Sometimes a candle shines brighter than a strobe light.
0 likesWhat I mean is, sometimes it's the simple things that show us how awesome the bigger things are. For me, it was seeing the finale of Poirot and the same year meeting David Suchet that really cemented in my mind that I'm definitely getting better. I keep going because I know there are more things in my life to look forward to like that. Big things, like meeting people who inspire me, and little things, like sunny days, starry nights, and lazy afternoons.
Okay, Winnie-the-Pooh reference wasn't fully intentional. But fitting. So so fitting.
You shared so many things on this single video, that a proper comment would have to be a wall of text, so to keep it tight and actually readable:
1 likeYou are a very mature person, conscious of your feelings, and knows how to put yourself into other people's shoes. It's amazing how you apologize about not being able to spend more time with your fans, even though I'm sure that most likely all of them appreciated their time with you a lot. I need to add that it's nice to see you embracing the beginning of your adulthood. Many people kinda freakout when this happens.
It's awesome to know how much you could enjoy so much the day you broke into the park. One thing is getting a day off but still having some part of your work with you, maybe putting some pressure onto your shoulders, but that day looked like you could enjoy yourself and your friends with no worries at all, and that makes a big difference.
To finish this huge comment that I was planning to be a lot shorter, let me take a ride into the bus metaphore (badjokeisbad) and say that you're a captivating person, and you don't need to worry because as you said, your bus is full of people who'll always wish you the best that's out there for you to have.
I'm sorry if I couldn't write anything shorter, but after going through 20 mins of your feelings and experiences, this is the shortest I could write.
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@brianpso I really enjoyed reading this, actually :) thank you!
1 likeI love you. Bit much to say in a comment but after that video... wow.
1 likeThe burger metaphor though... I was depressed for about 4 years on and off and was okay for a while then got a chronic illness which is just as fun as it sounds. I've had it for 3 years now (I'm 19) and when I first got it I started towards depression again. Luckily I recognised it in myself and I'm still working on it but thanks for putting my feels into words.
0 likesGlad you enjoyed Manchester! I missed it because of uni work and was absolutely gutted so it was a little sad to see you filming by the SU just next to where I live :( buuut there'll be another chance I'm sure :) which tattoo shop did you go to? I really want a small/delicate one like yours and was thinking Holier Than Thou which is where I got my daith piercing but idk if they too small tatts or if it's priced by time or whatever cause they seem to be the go hard or go home types haha xxx
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@BlahBlahRainbowFish I went to made in manchester! they were alright ^_^
1 likeand I'm sorry you couldn't come! I'm sure I'll be back :) good luck with everything! x
Holy fuck, that burger analogy was absolutely spot on!
1 likeReplies (2)
@Dannon Day thank you! it literally just came to me on the bus back from cardiff x
0 likes@doddleoddle I've been there, stay strong <3
0 likesIt always rains the hardest on people who deserve the sun. Good Luck
0 likesthe burger analogy. the fucking burger analogy, dodie. you are so so smart for coming up with that. because that is exactly how i feel when i'm with people everyday. i hate it so much that when i'm with people that i like and i should be having a good time, i can't. i just feel so alone all the time. and sad, but not really sad. just like empty nothingness. and tired and done with everything. i don't know how to explain it. and i've done some really bad stuff and even though i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, i'm glad you are starting to find yours. thank you for putting my thoughts into words.
1 likeyou're lovely x.
All hail Dodie Clark one of the strongest people one this planet. She can do anything and so can we. Also how much are those bus tickets I want one.
0 likesyay! tessa i love tessa
2 likesStill in the cave, and it's cold and awful and dark, but I think this feels like someone threw me a torch and now I can see a bit better and maybe I can find that ladder?
0 likesyeahhh,i cried.i don't have many words prepared.
1 likefor all the people who've fallen down the black holes;there is a ladder somewhere in there.i can PROMISE you there is.and I'll tell you why I'm so sure there is one.It's you,my sweet friend.You are the ladder.You have unlimited power in you.You have the ability to shine brighter than all the stars combined.You,in your own self,are a whole damn Universe.Take as long as you need,wonderful being of light.Look for yourself,knock on those rocks,look up and down and back up again,cry until you run out of tears.And then cry some more.Do whatever you feel is right,and good for you.Don't beat yourself up.You ARE enough.You always have been and always will be.I know that right now the gray cloud of hopelessness is blocking your view,and I know that you maybe won't believe my words until you find this out on your own,but MY GOD.Your power is endless.When the time comes,when you'll feel ready;you'll know exactly how to get out of there.Don't rush it.Let it swallow you up and spit you back out.If there's one thing I can swear to you,it's this: you will come out of there stronger than ever.you will come out of there as an improved you.You've just forgotten who you are for a while.And that's completely okay.Take your time..take your time...take your time..
Oh Dodie, this was so bloody bittersweet. You are not alone, I know the feeling seems greater than the actuality but, I hope you will always be able to remember that. I know it will be tricky, that is why I want to keep saying it: you will always have someone there for you.
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Also, I am extremely flippin' proud of you for uploading this. Bravo to you always m8 💜
1 like@Francesca Georgiou thank you!!!! x
1 likeI don't have the brain power to write a proper coherent comment rn but this was an amazing video and I'm so glad things are starting to feel a little better <3 (ps i love the piano adventure time) (pps manchester was the best because i was there obvs)
0 likeshi i love you so much dodie
1 likeThank you :)
1 likeSo... The tour claimed Dodie's Ukulele and a piece of Bry's tooth. I AM SO SORRY. But anyway, you were amazing so thank you.
1 likeI'd just like to say that I came to the Belfast show not really knowing much about you or Bry, but I left with the greatest memories and a signed poster from people (even Gary) I had not fully appreciated earlier that day. By the end of the show I could tell I was officially a fan because I got nervous before getting signatures ;] I guess what I'm trying to say is; here's to new experiences, finding new wonderful things to enjoy with people and LET'S ALL RIDE THE FUCKING BUS. Wishing you all the best x
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@YouBoob149 hahaha it did! ahhh you're as wonderful as your username :'D
1 like@doddleoddle no u.
0 likes❤️
1 likethank you.
1 like<3
0 likesAhh jesus okay I'm just gonna apologise in advance because I know how long this comment is going to be and nobody is gonna read this because it's going to be so long and dull but flippin eck i need to type. I don't cry a lot and so when I do, it's because something has connected with me deep down and, yeah, this video did just that. I turned 20 around the same time as you and so much of what you said hit me so hard. I went to Florida for two weeks last year and while it's full of so many incredible memories, there were times when it just didn't feel like I was expecting it to feel. It just felt blank. On the first day, we went to the Magic Kingdom and I felt nothing. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, I don't know, but I have this thing sometimes where I will just completely blank out. My body just goes on autopilot and I can't concentrate. My mind goes off and suddenly the day is done and it doesn't feel like it's happened. I feel no excitement or anything, it's just empty. That evening, we watched the fireworks over the castle and I walked away from my group of friends, and I stood there, and I watched those fireworks and it was beautiful and I was in a place I'd wanted to go my entire life, and I cried. I cried a lot. In fact, I cried all the way back to the house we were staying in, so for a good hour or two. And it was because I felt nothing at all. So much anticipation and nothing. And even now I look back and it gets me down. I may never be able to go again and I feel like I ruined it for myself.
0 likesAnd watching this video just hit me with all that I guess. I know it's a common thing, but just hearing somebody else explain it and use their words to describe exactly what you've been feeling is hard hitting.
On another note, seeing you and your friends and being so so so happy kinda got me with such an array of emotions. That part when you're in the park with Ella and Steven looked like such bliss. And while I have friends, incredible incredible friends, I've never really experienced a friendship like that. I only get to see them once a week at rehearsals, or talk to them over the phone, and they're all too busy to meet up. If we do, it'll just be at a house, and I don't know, there's a part of me that's a little jealous I guess, tbh, of you and your friends, and there's a part of me that wishes so hard that I was in that park with you guys that night and feeling the joy you were all feeling and I hope so much that I get to have moments like that. Being the same age as you all is strange for me. I guess because it feels wrong to look up to you all, it's almost like a friendship that I want to be part of but can't, I can only watch it vicariously :') And that's totally cool, I guess that's just the nature of YouTube and vlogging! Just hopefully spontaneity and joy like you guys had there will come to me sometime too! But as well as that, it made me so happy. To see you and everybody so so happy, like properly happy, it's just such a joy. Especially after everything and the feelings you've been having.
I don't really know what I'm saying anymore. I'm just ranting words and sobbing aha! Seeing everybody else's comments here too, seeing such similar emotions and feelings, it's a little heartbreaking. Combine that with all of the YouTuberHonestyHour tweets from yesterday too... Gosh I just want to give everybody a hug. I have a habit of becoming really emotionally invested in people. If my friends, or even other strangers are upset, it makes me sad too.
I should stop typing, I'll just end with the way I always like to by saying that Dodie hi yeah you're pretty freakin' cool. I hope the world throws a lifetime of incredible moments your way. And when you're down, and if you ever don't want to upload a video, or have no inspiration, or you're worried that it won't be uploaded in time, please don't worry. You do you first. Make sure Dodie is happy, we all understand and we all care.
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@Joel Blundell <3 (Idmd you!)
0 likes@doddleoddle <3 I got it, thank you!
0 likesI'm really really bad at trying to word things and I'm really just quite an awkward person which doesn't help but I'm going to try so I'm SO sorry if any of this comes out offensive or ignorant I don't even know I promise that is NOT the intention...
0 likesAround about two and a half years ago, although I haven't been diagnosed, I am 110% certain I had depression. And your metaphors touched me because they were just soooo so accurate! The taste of nothing whilst others around you are licking their fingers describes depression ,for me anyway, perfectly. And looking back now I was such a different person. I remember the first time I was genuinely happy in about a year and a half was mcflys concert and I just cried because I was so happy and id been dreading going for about six months because I was adamant that it would taste of nothing. It literally feels like the life has been sucked out of you! The scariest thing for me was that it started becoming addictive which is such a disgusting way to put it, but I lost hope in ever being happy again, I didn't talk to anyone and pushed EVERYONE away and then felt even worse because I felt like I had no one but depression is a strange and complicated thing and I can't even remember much because my mind is erasing those couple of years it could be as though I didn't ever live them. This part im worried may come across as ignorant but this is my personal story so don't take this the wrong way.
I remember waking up and deciding I was going to be happy that day and I was going to be in a positive mindset even when things went wrong. That was about six months ago. Every single day I feel like I am clinging to the edge of black soil with yellow light above me to stop myself from falling down into the blackness and its a constant battle. I don't personally think that depression ever goes away we can only learn how to control it but it takes so so so much energy to do so.
It kills me that someone so lovely and genuinely nice and talented like you can feel this way. The mind is a terrifying thing and I'm so happy you are surrounded by amazing people because for me that helped so much. It's weird how much I care about someone who I've never met and really know nothing about but I want you to be happy and content more than anything. Also before I go, please please please do not let YouTube to stress you out we all appreciate the time and effort you put into it. I love you ridiculous amounts Dodie. R x
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@Rhiannon Charles Oh my goodness you were SO right when you say it's almost addictive!!! It's like in that mindset you can't help but think of negative things!
1 likeI'm so sorry you went through this but I'm so proud that we're both getting better too! x
You have no idea how much it means that you replied, your channel has become my life and makes me insanely happy, I'm just so sorry that you're going though this. I basically just cried because you replied and it made me happier and I was really nervous about posting that but I feel comforted now and I keep rambling x
0 likesWHY CANT I GO TO ONE OF YOUR CONCERTS. BLAH
0 likesFuck i love this video
0 likesYou need a hug hugs
0 likeshttps://youtu.be/VyaLHLofF3s?t=1168 - this bit made me laugh for like 5 minutes.
0 likesWas singing the Phineas and Ferb theme tune in Glasgow?
1 like#MEGAFAMEDODIEFACE
2 likesReplies (1)
@MayfenFilms! yaaaaah!
2 likesIs it Bryony 'Paperlilies' Matthewman in the background at 6:21?
0 likesyup, i love u
0 likesIf its a pinky swear I have to believe you then
0 likes12:09 I checked my phone :D
0 likesHey Dodie!
0 likesThis is probably a stupid, hopefully not patronising suggestion, but: Exercise! This may sound crazy, but look at what you were doing on that day you were feeling better about life - running around a giant inflatable obstetrical course in the sunshine with your friends.
We all know there isn't a quick fix for that feeling when the sun is shining, but it may as well be raining. But maybe what your missing, day in day out, is that child like exhilaration of running around a playground or scrambling all over climbing frames - that physical exhaustion at the end of the day that allows you to sleep like a baby, that rush of adrenaline and fire that come from your heart racing. All of which comes from exercise - enjoyable exercise! Getting your heart racing and the blood rushing through you with a smile on your face. I don't know if it'll work for you, but if I ever feel terrible, I force myself to jump on my bike and go for a ride (I'm a Londoner, it's suicidal, I know) sometimes I come back feeling even worse, but most of the time I feel like I have done something productive and freeing. It gets you thinking about something else for a while and blows away all the cobwebs. Maybe join a climbing or rowing club, go swimming, ride your bike (somewhere not too dangerous) - it's just an idea.
If nothing else, I hope you feel better soon.
Can i have a seat on that bus? seems like a awfully rad bus
0 likesThat burger story hit home
1 likeMental illness sucks
And yes mental illness sucks. Having dealt with depression, really bad anxiety and a self harm addiction, I know what you mean about finding that ladder. I'm finally coming out of this after like 7ish years. (I'm 15) and almost celebrating a year self harm free. Anyone who's still in that place, hang on cause it may take time but it doesn't last forever
1 like18:34 BUT IT IS D:
0 likeswow
0 likeshehey this was posted on my birthday, ye😊
0 likesle feels
0 likesAt around 15:50 all I could think about was gerard way idk why
0 likesyou came to dublin?? ugH I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
0 likesDodies message:
1 likeTo You:
so like
depression is really REALLY shit. All I have been thinking about for the past two years was how CRAP i felt. The clip where i look really ugly in like the last section was me in Melbourne, where it was 4am and evan was sleeping and I literally cried for like 5 hours because I couldn't sleep because I just felt so DONE with life. I was adventuring the world, across the planet and I felt SO like sick and sad and tired and angry and NOTHING. It was the worst. Mental illness is so annoying because you know objectively you're fine, but your brain will just not WORK! It's missing something and it's like you're full of holes. Or rather you have one big hole. You're just fucking EMPTY and there's a big black hole inside you and everyone else around you is laughing and smiling and living and you're like all of these colourful people hate me because I am GREY and SAD and TIRED and SHITTY. It's been the worst because my life has been so cool but I haven't been able to enjoy it for soooo longgg.
BUT.
Like I said in the video. I'm starting to feel BETTER
i genuinely never thought it was possible! I'd crawled down into this little depression cave and I was like getting back up is impossible!!! It's cold and dark and I don't even know how I got down here so how the feck do I get back up?!?! I was SO ready to give up hope and like
idk
it was so shit
but like
I'm seeing positives and everything and i like broke down yesterday bc dottie posted a video on happiness and i realised that i'm starting to feel it again
guys
depression people
please
don't give up hope
your depression cave is SO shit right now look honestly i know
BUT THERE IS A LADDER SOMEWHERE
and you might need someone to help you up it! like a doctor, or a therapist or something
but holy crap please don't stop until you find that ladder because remember when life was worth living?! dude I have news IT STILL IS
it was so good once and it will be again
pinky swear
xoxoxo
whats the name of the song she was dancing to backstage ??
0 likesSorry bout that ~ love Dublin XD
0 likes:)
0 likesYou know Dodie, you probably won't even read this comment but I feel like I have to say something. I'm sitting here at 3:30am, watching this video & reading your letter again and crying. Again. You can think burger & bus metaphors are cheesy or stupid but damn, they're so accurate. You put that in words and all I could do was to agree and nod. I felt like something's wrong with me since a long time, but videos like this make me realise what's going on and that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I didn't want to believe in it, but I might be depressed. Some people say "how can you have a depression? You have an awesome life..." but they can't see what's going on in your head, they can't feel that emptiness (I hate this feeling so so much), they can't see you crying behind closed doors. Currently I feel like my brain isn't working and there's that mentioned by you big wall in front of me. Feeling like crap everyday sucks, feeling empty and shitty and sad sucks. Crying actually without a reason, but not being able to stop, sucks. I'm really glad you're starting to feel better and I wish you all the best, because you deserve it, you're amazing and brave. I wish you to enjoy life, like REALLY enjoy, feel these beautiful moments and have brilliant days and amazing people on your bus.
0 likesI love cats.
1 likeYOU WENT TO IRELAND faints
0 likesDodie I cried so friggin much at the end. I can relate a lot, just want to let you know we all love you x
2 likesP.S. RIP ukulele, we'll all miss you x
this is incredibly relevant to my life right now and I must say it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.
1 likeStay wonderful Dodie X
I am very proud of you, coming from a similar situation I know its tough. As always love all you do and I'm hoping for more happiness to come :) <3
1 likeDodie okay just reading the description and im crying ur so frickin great ily <3
2 likesHey Dodie, been watching you for a short while, found you on hiive and been enjoying your videos since, and I just wanted to say that I read the description of this video and it really did help me feel a little glimmer of happiness. I just thought you would like to know that you made a difference to my day, so thank you. Keep doing what you do and all that jazz :)
1 likeDefinitely worth the wait; thank you for this dodie <3
1 likeseeing you on tour in Birmingham was one of the best nights of the year so far! Glad you had fun on tour and thank you for making me smile :)
1 likethis is so sweet :) im glad things are getting better <3
1 likeDodie! I just want to give you a massive HUG!
2 likesall you need to be is happy and im really proud to say that myself and thousands of others can be apart of your bus journey. thank you for being you xx
1 likethis is just what I needed after such a hard, long day at school. Thank you so much, Dodie.
0 likesYou're more important than sleep love you xx💞
2 likesI love this video so much. I may have cried a bit. I love you Dodie and I'm glad that you've found happiness again. Xx
1 likeReplies (1)
@The_Magical_Mermaid xxx
1 likeI'm watching this tomorrow bc i'm tired but I'm proud of you and I love you so much and thank you. Depression sucks and it always will be there but there are ways we can make it through this x
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@Lilly Piper : )
1 likeLol I was front row at the Dublin show and met you for the second time afterwards. The show was amazing but horrible people behind me gave me a panic attack before I met you, so now I barely remember it :( but the show was amazing and the meet and greet means so much so thanks 💕
1 likeI'm one dedicated person Dodie, I've stayed up this late even with a maths exam tomorrow! I hope I can manage on about 6 hours sleep xx
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@Angel Rebecca ahhh gosh no!! sleep more plz xx
4 likesI was hoping you'd upload this tonight :D thanks Dodie x love you lots you know :) Xxx
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@Ellen J-D xxx
1 likeI love you Dodie Clark. At this moment it time I truly love you.
1 likexxx
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@Lucy D x<3
1 likeThank you dodie x
1 likeDefinitely worth waiting up for! <3
2 likesReplies (1)
@Carly May Kavanagh aww thank you!
2 likesI really appreciated the letter. Thanks Dodie.
1 like1. ur so cute 'n great I love this even after watching just 5 minutes of it
1 like2. its may not april ?
exhausted but i have no exams tomorrow (thank u @ god)!!! i lov you and you are wonderful and strong and brilliant. keep doing you.
1 likeWorth the wait 💕
1 likeThis is definitely worth sleep deprivation
1 likeYesssss I can sleep now 😸 well first watch this ☺️
1 likeSorry about Dublin :D it was scary for me be our I am small so I got pushed, squished and I had panic attacks.. But I still loved it :)
1 likeFecking sobbed cause you talked about a bus I need to sleep
4 likesReplies (1)
@***** lol
3 likesThank you. <3
1 likeI have an exam soon... I should be in bed. But I enjoyed this
1 likeN'awww, we have the same top yay. I love your cardigan, may I ask where you got it from?
0 likesWHY DID YOU NOT POST THIS TO DODDLEODDLE?!!
0 likes<3
0 likesReplies (1)
@Nomes F <3
1 likeI WAITED !!!
0 likesReplies (2)
You're adorable💞
1 like@***** tTHNKZZ
1 likeWas refreshing the wrong channel but so so excited the anticipation
1 likeReplies (1)
@Rhiannon Charles lol
0 likesHow did I not notice Ollie in this video
0 likes7:40 thats sammy paul behind the camera right
0 likesCan I sit next to you on your bus 🚌😊
0 likes1:45 George Orwell :D
0 likes#CHIBBY
0 likesWhere was that bouncy castle day??
0 likesPlease can I be on your bus? I'll be your friend :)
0 likes5:58 SONG?
0 likesi wantt friends now
1 likeb-but this video is 22 minutes. THIS IS UNFAIR.
0 likesReplies (3)
@ChaplinONLINE ;watches anyway, why not. Didn't need sleep anyway
0 likes@ChaplinONLINE You know what. That was actually worth. And that bouncy castle looked hella fun! BD
1 like@ChaplinONLINE hahahah well done for sticking through!
0 likesUr rlly pretty bye
0 likescolor and hope
0 likesWas good
0 likesim sorry this is so irrelevant but i have the same top and now im never going to stop wearing it ok sorry again sorry
0 likesCory's birthday last year...😰
0 likesDodie = Carsexual
0 likesburger metaphor is the best
0 likesWhat song was Dodie dancing to?
0 likesReplies (3)
Care, by Bry :)
0 likesThanks!
0 likesno worries! you should listen to pieces by Bry as well, if you like care. all his songs are very beautiful.
0 likesGive me your hair pls
0 likesCHRISTY MOORE OMG!!!!!!!OOOOO LISDOONVARNA
0 likesTravelodge hehe cheap and cheerful
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Said this even before you mentioned it because i saw the artwork haha
0 likesMan depression sucks.
0 likesGGGAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
0 likesDUBLIN
0 likesI HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW
0 likes18:34 UNSUBBED.
0 likescry
0 likesOmg you know ohitsjustkim?
0 likesHate to be rude but aren't u suppose to say who inspired the video
0 likesDublin
0 likesMuch**
0 likesyayzz
1 likeI'd like to be on the bus
2 likesReplies (2)
@***** gareth you're on the bus in a wonderful way x
3 likesthanks friend, I feel honoured
0 likes