The burger metaphor though... I was depressed for about 4 years on and off and was okay for a while then got a chronic illness which is just as fun as it sounds. I've had it for 3 years now (I'm 19) and when I first got it I started towards depression again. Luckily I recognised it in myself and I'm still working on it but thanks for putting my feels into words.<br>Glad you enjoyed Manchester! I missed it because of uni work and was absolutely gutted so it was a little sad to see you filming by the SU just next to where I live :( buuut there'll be another chance I'm sure :) which tattoo shop did you go to? I really want a small/delicate one like yours and was thinking Holier Than Thou which is where I got my daith piercing but idk if they too small tatts or if it's priced by time or whatever cause they seem to be the go hard or go home types haha xxx

The burger metaphor though... I was depressed for about 4 years on and off and was okay for a while then got a chronic illness which is just as fun as it sounds. I've had it for 3 years now (I'm 19) and when I first got it I started towards depression again. Luckily I recognised it in myself and I'm still working on it but thanks for putting my feels into words.
Glad you enjoyed Manchester! I missed it because of uni work and was absolutely gutted so it was a little sad to see you filming by the SU just next to where I live :( buuut there'll be another chance I'm sure :) which tattoo shop did you go to? I really want a small/delicate one like yours and was thinking Holier Than Thou which is where I got my daith piercing but idk if they too small tatts or if it's priced by time or whatever cause they seem to be the go hard or go home types haha xxx

@BlahBlahRainbowFish I went to made in manchester! they were alright ^_^

and I'm sorry you couldn't come! I'm sure I'll be back :) good luck with everything! x


Holy fuck, that burger analogy was absolutely spot on!

@doddleoddle I've been there, stay strong <3

@Dannon Day thank you! it literally just came to me on the bus back from cardiff x


It always rains the hardest on people who deserve the sun. Good Luck


the burger analogy. the fucking burger analogy, dodie. you are so so smart for coming up with that. because that is exactly how i feel when i'm with people everyday. i hate it so much that when i'm with people that i like and i should be having a good time, i can't. i just feel so alone all the time. and sad, but not really sad. just like empty nothingness. and tired and done with everything. i don't know how to explain it. and i've done some really bad stuff and even though i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, i'm glad you are starting to find yours. thank you for putting my thoughts into words.<br>you're lovely x.

the burger analogy. the fucking burger analogy, dodie. you are so so smart for coming up with that. because that is exactly how i feel when i'm with people everyday. i hate it so much that when i'm with people that i like and i should be having a good time, i can't. i just feel so alone all the time. and sad, but not really sad. just like empty nothingness. and tired and done with everything. i don't know how to explain it. and i've done some really bad stuff and even though i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, i'm glad you are starting to find yours. thank you for putting my thoughts into words.
you're lovely x.


All hail Dodie Clark one of the strongest people one this planet. She can do anything and so can we. Also how much are those bus tickets I want one.


Still in the cave, and it's cold and awful and dark, but I think this feels like someone threw me a torch and now I can see a bit better and maybe I can find that ladder?


yeahhh,i cried.i don't have many words prepared.<br>for all the people who've fallen down the black holes;there is a ladder somewhere in there.i can PROMISE you there is.and I'll tell you why I'm so sure there is one.It's you,my sweet friend.You are the ladder.You have unlimited power in you.You have the ability to shine brighter than all the stars combined.You,in your own self,are a whole damn Universe.Take as long as you need,wonderful being of light.Look for yourself,knock on those rocks,look up and down and back up again,cry until you run out of tears.And then cry some more.Do whatever you feel is right,and good for you.Don't beat yourself up.You ARE enough.You always have been and always will be.I know that right now the gray cloud of hopelessness is blocking your view,and I know that you maybe won't believe my words until you find this out on your own,but MY GOD.Your power is endless.When the time comes,when you'll feel ready;you'll know exactly how to get out of there.Don't rush it.Let it swallow you up and spit you back out.If there's one thing I can swear to you,it's this: you will come out of there stronger than ever.you will come out of there as an improved you.You've just forgotten who you are for a while.And that's completely okay.Take your time..take your time...take your time..

yeahhh,i cried.i don't have many words prepared.
for all the people who've fallen down the black holes;there is a ladder somewhere in there.i can PROMISE you there is.and I'll tell you why I'm so sure there is one.It's you,my sweet friend.You are the ladder.You have unlimited power in you.You have the ability to shine brighter than all the stars combined.You,in your own self,are a whole damn Universe.Take as long as you need,wonderful being of light.Look for yourself,knock on those rocks,look up and down and back up again,cry until you run out of tears.And then cry some more.Do whatever you feel is right,and good for you.Don't beat yourself up.You ARE enough.You always have been and always will be.I know that right now the gray cloud of hopelessness is blocking your view,and I know that you maybe won't believe my words until you find this out on your own,but MY GOD.Your power is endless.When the time comes,when you'll feel ready;you'll know exactly how to get out of there.Don't rush it.Let it swallow you up and spit you back out.If there's one thing I can swear to you,it's this: you will come out of there stronger than ever.you will come out of there as an improved you.You've just forgotten who you are for a while.And that's completely okay.Take your time..take your time...take your time..


Oh Dodie, this was so bloody bittersweet. You are not alone, I know the feeling seems greater than the actuality but, I hope you will always be able to remember that. I know it will be tricky, that is why I want to keep saying it: you will always have someone there for you.

Also, I am extremely flippin' proud of you for uploading this. Bravo to you always m8 💜


I don't have the brain power to write a proper coherent comment rn but this was an amazing video  and I'm so glad things are starting to feel a little better <3 (ps i love the piano adventure time) (pps manchester was the best because i was there obvs)


So... The tour claimed Dodie's Ukulele and a piece of Bry's tooth. I AM SO SORRY. But anyway, you were amazing so thank you.<br>I'd just like to say that I came to the Belfast show not really knowing much about you or Bry, but I left with the greatest memories and a signed poster from people (even Gary) I had not fully appreciated earlier that day. By the end of the show I could tell I was officially a fan because I got nervous before getting signatures ;] I guess what I'm trying to say is; here's to new experiences, finding new wonderful things to enjoy with people and LET'S ALL RIDE THE FUCKING BUS. Wishing you all the best x

So... The tour claimed Dodie's Ukulele and a piece of Bry's tooth. I AM SO SORRY. But anyway, you were amazing so thank you.
I'd just like to say that I came to the Belfast show not really knowing much about you or Bry, but I left with the greatest memories and a signed poster from people (even Gary) I had not fully appreciated earlier that day. By the end of the show I could tell I was officially a fan because I got nervous before getting signatures ;] I guess what I'm trying to say is; here's to new experiences, finding new wonderful things to enjoy with people and LET'S ALL RIDE THE FUCKING BUS. Wishing you all the best x

@YouBoob149 hahaha it did! ahhh you're as wonderful as your username :'D


Ahh jesus okay I'm just gonna apologise in advance because I know how long this comment is going to be and nobody is gonna read this because it's going to be so long and dull but flippin eck i need to type. I don't cry a lot and so when I do, it's because something has connected with me deep down and, yeah, this video did just that. I turned 20 around the same time as you and so much of what you said hit me so hard. I went to Florida for two weeks last year and while it's full of so many incredible memories, there were times when it just didn't feel like I was expecting it to feel. It just felt blank. On the first day, we went to the Magic Kingdom and I felt nothing. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, I don't know, but I have this thing sometimes where I will just completely blank out. My body just goes on autopilot and I can't concentrate. My mind goes off and suddenly the day is done and it doesn't feel like it's happened. I feel no excitement or anything, it's just empty. That evening, we watched the fireworks over the castle and I walked away from my group of friends, and I stood there, and I watched those fireworks and it was beautiful and I was in a place I'd wanted to go my entire life, and I cried. I cried a lot. In fact, I cried all the way back to the house we were staying in, so for a good hour or two. And it was because I felt nothing at all. So much anticipation and nothing. And even now I look back and it gets me down. I may never be able to go again and I feel like I ruined it for myself.

And watching this video just hit me with all that I guess. I know it's a common thing, but just hearing somebody else explain it and use their words to describe exactly what you've been feeling is hard hitting.

On another note, seeing you and your friends and being so so so happy kinda got me with such an array of emotions. That part when you're in the park with Ella and Steven looked like such bliss. And while I have friends, incredible incredible friends, I've never really experienced a friendship like that. I only get to see them once a week at rehearsals, or talk to them over the phone, and they're all too busy to meet up. If we do, it'll just be at a house, and I don't know, there's a part of me that's a little jealous I guess, tbh, of you and your friends, and there's a part of me that wishes so hard that I was in that park with you guys that night and feeling the joy you were all feeling and I hope so much that I get to have moments like that. Being the same age as you all is strange for me. I guess because it feels wrong to look up to you all, it's almost like a friendship that I want to be part of but can't, I can only watch it vicariously :') And that's totally cool, I guess that's just the nature of YouTube and vlogging! Just hopefully spontaneity and joy like you guys had there will come to me sometime too! But as well as that, it made me so happy. To see you and everybody so so happy, like properly happy, it's just such a joy. Especially after everything and the feelings you've been having.

I don't really know what I'm saying anymore. I'm just ranting words and sobbing aha! Seeing everybody else's comments here too, seeing such similar emotions and feelings, it's a little heartbreaking. Combine that with all of the YouTuberHonestyHour tweets from yesterday too... Gosh I just want to give everybody a hug. I have a habit of becoming really emotionally invested in people. If my friends, or even other strangers are upset, it makes me sad too.

I should stop typing, I'll just end with the way I always like to by saying that Dodie hi yeah you're pretty freakin' cool. I hope the world throws a lifetime of incredible moments your way. And when you're down, and if you ever don't want to upload a video, or have no inspiration, or you're worried that it won't be uploaded in time, please don't worry. You do you first. Make sure Dodie is happy, we all understand and we all care.


I'm really really bad at trying to word things and I'm really just quite an awkward person which doesn't help but I'm going to try so I'm SO sorry if any of this comes out offensive or ignorant I don't even know I promise that is NOT the intention...
Around about two and a half years ago, although I haven't been diagnosed, I am 110% certain I had depression. And your metaphors touched me because they were just soooo so accurate! The taste of nothing whilst others around you are licking their fingers describes depression ,for me anyway, perfectly. And looking back now I was such a different person. I remember the first time I was genuinely happy in about a year and a half was mcflys concert and I just cried because I was so happy and id been dreading going for about six months because I was adamant that it would taste of nothing. It literally feels like the life has been sucked out of you! The scariest thing for me was that it started becoming addictive which is such a disgusting way to put it, but I lost hope in ever being happy again, I didn't talk to anyone and pushed EVERYONE away and then felt even worse because I felt like I had no one but depression is a strange and complicated thing and I can't even remember much because my mind is erasing those couple of years it could be as though I didn't ever live them. This part im worried may come across as ignorant but this is my personal story so don't take this the wrong way.
I remember waking up and deciding I was going to be happy that day and I was going to be in a positive mindset even when things went wrong. That was about six months ago. Every single day I feel like I am clinging to the edge of black soil with yellow light above me to stop myself from falling down into the blackness and its a constant battle. I don't personally think that depression ever goes away we can only learn how to control it but it takes so so so much energy to do so.
It kills me that someone so lovely and genuinely nice and talented like you can feel this way. The mind is a terrifying thing and I'm so happy you are surrounded by amazing people because for me that helped so much. It's weird how much I care about someone who I've never met and really know nothing about but I want you to be happy and content more than anything. Also before I go, please please please do not let YouTube to stress you out we all appreciate the time and effort you put into it. I love you ridiculous amounts Dodie. R x

You have no idea how much it means that you replied, your channel has become my life and makes me insanely happy, I'm just so sorry that you're going though this. I basically just cried because you replied and it made me happier and I was really nervous about posting that but I feel comforted now and I keep rambling x

@Rhiannon Charles Oh my goodness you were SO right when you say it's almost addictive!!! It's like in that mindset you can't help but think of negative things!

I'm so sorry you went through this but I'm so proud that we're both getting better too! x


WHY CANT I GO TO ONE OF YOUR CONCERTS. BLAH


https://youtu.be/VyaLHLofF3s?t=1168 - this bit made me laugh for like 5 minutes.


Was singing the Phineas and Ferb theme tune in Glasgow?


Is it Bryony 'Paperlilies' Matthewman in the background at 6:21?


If its a pinky swear I have to believe you then


Hey Dodie!

This is probably a stupid, hopefully not patronising suggestion, but: Exercise! This may sound crazy, but look at what you were doing on that day you were feeling better about life - running around a giant inflatable obstetrical course in the sunshine with your friends.

We all know there isn't a quick fix for that feeling when the sun is shining, but it may as well be raining. But maybe what your missing, day in day out, is that child like exhilaration of running around a playground or scrambling all over climbing frames - that physical exhaustion at the end of the day that allows you to sleep like a baby, that rush of adrenaline and fire that come from your heart racing. All of which comes from exercise - enjoyable exercise! Getting your heart racing and the blood rushing through you with a smile on your face. I don't know if it'll work for you, but if I ever feel terrible, I force myself to jump on my bike and go for a ride (I'm a Londoner, it's suicidal, I know) sometimes I come back feeling even worse, but most of the time I feel like I have done something productive and freeing. It gets you thinking about something else for a while and blows away all the cobwebs. Maybe join a climbing or rowing club, go swimming, ride your bike (somewhere not too dangerous) - it's just an idea.

If nothing else, I hope you feel better soon.


Can i have a seat on that bus? seems like a awfully rad bus


That burger story hit home <br>Mental illness sucks

That burger story hit home
Mental illness sucks


And yes mental illness sucks. Having dealt with depression,  really bad anxiety and a self harm addiction,  I know what you mean about finding that ladder. I'm finally coming out of this after like 7ish years. (I'm 15) and almost celebrating a year self harm free. Anyone who's still in that place, hang on cause it may take time but it doesn't last forever


hehey this was posted on my birthday, ye😊


At around 15:50 all I could think about was gerard way idk why


you came to dublin?? ugH I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW


Dodies message:

To You:

so like

depression is really REALLY shit. All I have been thinking about for the past two years was how CRAP i felt. The clip where i look really ugly in like the last section was me in Melbourne, where it was 4am and evan was sleeping and I literally cried for like 5 hours because I couldn't sleep because I just felt so DONE with life. I was adventuring the world, across the planet and I felt SO like sick and sad and tired and angry and NOTHING. It was the worst. Mental illness is so annoying because you know objectively you're fine, but your brain will just not WORK! It's missing something and it's like you're full of holes. Or rather you have one big hole. You're just fucking EMPTY and there's a big black hole inside you and everyone else around you is laughing and smiling and living and you're like all of these colourful people hate me because I am GREY and SAD and TIRED and SHITTY. It's been the worst because my life has been so cool but I haven't been able to enjoy it for soooo longgg.

BUT.

Like I said in the video. I'm starting to feel BETTER
i genuinely never thought it was possible! I'd crawled down into this little depression cave and I was like getting back up is impossible!!! It's cold and dark and I don't even know how I got down here so how the feck do I get back up?!?! I was SO ready to give up hope and like
idk
it was so shit
but like
I'm seeing positives and everything and i like broke down yesterday bc dottie posted a video on happiness and i realised that i'm starting to feel it again

guys
depression people
please
don't give up hope
your depression cave is SO shit right now look honestly i know
BUT THERE IS A LADDER SOMEWHERE

and you might need someone to help you up it! like a doctor, or a therapist or something
but holy crap please don't stop until you find that ladder because remember when life was worth living?! dude I have news IT STILL IS
it was so good once and it will be again
pinky swear

xoxoxo


whats the name of the song she was dancing to backstage ??


You know Dodie, you probably won't even read this comment but I feel like I have to say something. I'm sitting here at 3:30am, watching this video & reading your letter again and crying. Again. You can think burger & bus metaphors are cheesy or stupid but damn, they're so accurate. You put that in words and all I could do was to agree and nod. I felt like something's wrong with me since a long time, but videos like this make me realise what's going on and that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I didn't want to believe in it, but I might be depressed. Some people say "how can you have a depression? You have an awesome life..." but they can't see what's going on in your head, they can't feel that emptiness (I hate this feeling so so much), they can't see you crying behind closed doors. Currently I feel like my brain isn't working and there's that mentioned by you big wall in front of me. Feeling like crap everyday sucks, feeling empty and shitty and sad sucks. Crying actually without a reason, but not being able to stop, sucks. I'm really glad you're starting to feel better and I wish you all the best, because you deserve it, you're amazing and brave. I wish you to enjoy life, like REALLY enjoy, feel these beautiful moments and have brilliant days and amazing people on your bus.


Dodie I cried so friggin much at the end. I can relate a lot, just want to let you know we all love you x<br>P.S. RIP ukulele, we'll all miss you x

Dodie I cried so friggin much at the end. I can relate a lot, just want to let you know we all love you x
P.S. RIP ukulele, we'll all miss you x


this is incredibly relevant to my life right now and I must say it's reassuring to know I'm not alone. <br>Stay wonderful Dodie X

this is incredibly relevant to my life right now and I must say it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.
Stay wonderful Dodie X


I am very proud of you, coming from a similar situation I know its tough. As always love all you do and I'm hoping for more happiness to come :) <3


Dodie okay just reading the description and im crying ur so frickin great ily <3


Hey Dodie, been watching you for a short while, found you on hiive and been enjoying your videos since, and I just wanted to say that I read the description of this video and it really did help me feel a little glimmer of happiness. I just thought you would like to know that you made a difference to my day, so thank you. Keep doing what you do and all that jazz :)


Definitely worth the wait; thank you for this dodie <3


seeing you on tour in Birmingham was one of the best nights of the year so far! Glad you had fun on tour and thank you for making me smile :)


this is so sweet :) im glad things are getting better <3


Dodie! I just want to give you a massive HUG!


all you need to be is happy and im really proud to say that myself and thousands of others can be apart of your bus journey. thank you for being you xx


this is just what I needed after such a hard, long day at school. Thank you so much, Dodie.


You're more important than sleep love you xx💞


I love this video so much. I may have cried a bit. I love you Dodie and I'm glad that you've found happiness again. Xx


I'm watching this tomorrow bc i'm tired but I'm proud of you and I love you so much and thank you. Depression sucks and it always will be there but there are ways we can make it through this x


Lol I was front row at the Dublin show and met you for the second time afterwards. The show was amazing but horrible people behind me gave me a panic attack before I met you,  so now I barely remember it :( but the show was amazing and the meet and greet means so much so thanks 💕


I'm one dedicated person Dodie, I've stayed up this late even with a maths exam tomorrow! I hope I can manage on about 6 hours sleep xx

@Angel Rebecca ahhh gosh no!! sleep more plz xx


I was hoping you'd upload this tonight :D thanks Dodie x love you lots you know :) Xxx


I love you Dodie Clark. At this moment it time I truly love you.<br>xxx

I love you Dodie Clark. At this moment it time I truly love you.
xxx


I really appreciated the letter. Thanks Dodie.


1. ur so cute 'n great I love this even after watching just 5 minutes of it<br>2. its may not april ?

1. ur so cute 'n great I love this even after watching just 5 minutes of it
2. its may not april ?


exhausted but i have no exams tomorrow (thank u @ god)!!! i lov you and you are wonderful and strong and brilliant. keep doing you.


This is definitely worth sleep deprivation


Yesssss I can sleep now 😸 well first watch this ☺


Sorry about Dublin :D it was scary for me be our I am small so I got pushed, squished and I had panic attacks.. But I still loved it :)


Fecking sobbed cause you talked about a bus I need to sleep


I have an exam soon... I should be in bed. But I enjoyed this


N'awww, we have the same top yay. I love your cardigan, may I ask where you got it from?


WHY DID YOU NOT POST THIS TO DODDLEODDLE?!!


Was refreshing the wrong channel but so so excited the anticipation


How did I not notice Ollie in this video


7:40 thats sammy paul behind the camera right


Please can I be on your bus? I'll be your friend :)


b-but this video is 22 minutes. THIS IS UNFAIR.

@ChaplinONLINE hahahah well done for sticking through!

@ChaplinONLINE You know what. That was actually worth. And that bouncy castle looked hella fun! BD

@ChaplinONLINE ;watches anyway, why not. Didn't need sleep anyway


im sorry this is so irrelevant but i have the same top and now im never going to stop wearing it ok sorry again sorry


no worries! you should listen to pieces by Bry as well, if you like care. all his songs are very beautiful.


CHRISTY MOORE OMG!!!!!!!OOOOO LISDOONVARNA


Said this even before you mentioned it because i saw the artwork haha


Hate to be rude but aren't u suppose to say who inspired the video


@***** gareth you're on the bus in a wonderful way x