My Brain (tour diary)

Description YT

yo gang, I'm writing a letter to you down here;

http://www.youtube.com/doddleoddle

so like

depression is really REALLY shit. All I have been thinking about for the past two years was how CRAP i felt. The clip where i look really ugly in like the last section was me in Melbourne, where it was 4am and evan was sleeping and I literally cried for like 5 hours because I couldn't sleep because I just felt so DONE with life. I was adventuring the world, across the planet and I felt SO like sick and sad and tired and angry and NOTHING. It was the worst. Mental illness is so annoying because you know objectively you're fine, but your brain will just not WORK! It's missing something and it's like you're full of holes. Or rather you have one big hole. You're just fucking EMPTY and there's a big black hole inside you and everyone else around you is laughing and smiling and living and you're like all of these colourful people hate me because I am GREY and SAD and TIRED and SHITTY. It's been the worst because my life has been so cool but I haven't been able to enjoy it for soooo longgg.

BUT.

Like I said in the video. I'm starting to feel BETTER
i genuinely never thought it was possible! I'd crawled down into this little depression cave and I was like getting back up is impossible!!! It's cold and dark and I don't even know how I got down here so how the feck do I get back up?!?! I was SO ready to give up hope and like
idk
it was so shit
but like
I'm seeing positives and everything and i like broke down yesterday bc dottie posted a video on happiness and i realised that i'm starting to feel it again

guys
depression people
please
don't give up hope
your depression cave is SO shit right now look honestly i know
BUT THERE IS A LADDER SOMEWHERE

and you might need someone to help you up it! like a doctor, or a therapist or something
but holy crap please don't stop until you find that ladder because remember when life was worth living?! dude I have news IT STILL IS
it was so good once and it will be again
pinky swear

xoxoxo

(if you need a ladder)
http://www.mind.org.uk/