how to cut ties/get over someone

Dodie- If you're crying rn keep crying
Me- crys harder

Whoever is watching this now - I love you and I'm crying along with you.

I keep coming back to this video. People guilt me for cutting ties, but they really hurt me and I needed to do it. They still come back to hurt me later through telling other people my weaknesses.

let's make a bow with all cut ties

I loved this video. It felt like we were sitting down, drinking coffee, and just chatting.☕️ Like I was getting advice from a friend.

dodie, you don't understand how much this means to much to me. my (now) ex boyfriend of four years broke up with me and it was because he loved me. and that made it extremely hard. and i wasn't expecting it. my heart hurts so much and i immediately went and watched this video after it happened cause i remember watching it before. thanks for being there for all of us and caring. it hurts but you made it a bit better. xoxo

4 years later and I'm sat here crying, watching this video to remind me that there's healing after friendships have fallen apart and that not speaking to certain people anymore indefinitely is for the best.

I'm sitting on my floor sobbing in their sweatshirt, why are humans so hard

Watching this almost a year later because I needed someone to talk me through what I'm experiencing. I remember watching this when it was uploaded and thinking "yeah, I'll come back to this when I'm going through something like that"... It helped. When you said at the end "if you're crying right now, keep crying", I did, and it helped. Thank you Dodie for being a sort of online support for all of us.

for anyone going through this right now, i'm proud of you. you are so so strong. you are amazing. you matter. you'll be okay (:

I got broken up with 12 days ago and it's been really difficult trying to move on from her. I am still crying every day. Luckily, this video and Dodie's songs are somehow soothing me as I go through this process. Thank you and love you always Dodie!

Today I finally cut ties with someone who has caused me a lot of pain, but watching this video helped me so, so much. Deep down I know it's the right decision, I will get over this, and I will be happier without her in my life.

I always always find my way back to this video after a breakup. Thank you dodie.

oh boy, I watched this when it came out two years ago, because it was relevant for me and now, two years later, I'm going over a very painful break up, and, again, this video popped into my head and once again, it's helping. Thank you dodie 🧡

thank you so much dodie for sharing this. exactly what I needed at this very moment. one day, when I look back at all the pain I’m feeling right now, I’m going to remember you and your words and how much this video has helped me realize a bunch of things. we love you 🌻

I straight up told a girl that I wanted to break ties off with her, because she had hurt me badly (badmouthing me with no reason to all of my close friends, lying to me about it, etc.) and she made it seem like it wasn't the best idea. she continued to say "if that's what you want," when in reality it was clear she wanted it too. we have a pretty healthy relationship, we took a break for about 6 months and she apologized for what she had done. sometimes I'm conflicted because its clear she is trying to make a change, but a lot of the time I'm still angry about what she did. I'm sure ill be okay, thanks for this dodie (even though I'm a whole 3 YEARS LATE WOAH)

I've been holding myself from crying for the past month and a half, and now that video helped me to realize that this is actually what I needed to do - to cry. Thank you, very helpful, exactly what I needed right now

I've watched this video at least over 15 times in the past few years and every time Im going through this sort of situation I always seem to come back to this video. You speak like a friend, its so comforting <3 thank u dodie

i was really worried when i saw the title, i thought she was going through this herself, and it kind made me realise how much i care about her even though i've never met her

i just finished watching this and i'm sobbing. i'm considering ending things with someone i love very much, and i really don't want to do it. but i feel like, especially after tonight, i need to. i really need to do this.

A year ago I watched this video and cried, and now several months later, im grateful and so much more happy after following your advice. Thank you so much Dodie, you are lovely!

I remember watching this when you uploaded it and thinking "this will never apply to me, everyone in my life is so good for me" and now i need this video more than ever. Thank you so much dodie.

Getting me through my first break up! Thanks so much, Dodie. I’ve always found a way to get better after watching your videos :)

This helps so much even though his name still rolls off my lips, his face is still burnt into my minds eye and the love I had for him is still in my heart :/

Dodie I think you should watch this again, it's soul medicine 💕💖

I remember watching this video when it came out and younger me having never cut ties with someone. 3 years later I forgot bout this video 4 months after cutting ties. This was very cathartic and helpful. Still healing. To anyone out there who sees this, you are loved

The only reason I have a problem with cutting people off is because I know they'll attain phsycological damage too. Just as they've given me. And I hate that about myself. That I'm too nice and loving to cut people off although their presence angers me to the point where I scream pointlessly in the cafeteria at lunchtime (at nothing and no one in particular). And such a thing like this is stressful when I have Regents coming up. (Regents is a series of tests that New York thinks is a great way to test knowledge of high schoolers. My school is special so we do it in middle school). I don't have the time or mental preparation for this. But I know that I have to do this (I can't go through another year with these toxic relations with these people).

after watching this video (and crying... alot) I deleted my ex off of everything. I need to realise that she doesn't want me and that's okay. the feelings I have are not mutual and I have to cut the ties that I ever had with her to be able to move forward. I think it's for the best.

thank you Dodie 💞

I love this video and I rewatch this video whenever I'm in a similar situation. thank you so much dodie ♡

I truly fell in love with my best friend. With all my heart. We met on a game and talked over Skype and it all continued from there. I was just so afraid of hurting her feelings that I never spoke a word when she had done something that hurt me (but I know it was always unintentional), plus we felt obligated to talk to each other all day without a break since that sort of established itself as a schedule and we were too afraid to switch it up, as that might hurt the other one. It collected over three years, and a few months ago we decided we had to stop talking because our friendship had just grown way too toxic. But everything about her... she lived a life I really wanted the whole time I've been alive; with good friends at a great school in a gorgeous country. She was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and so sweet and I was so scared of losing her. She honestly was my everything... she was fulfilling in the times where I felt reduced to nothing. I doubt that if we ever meet again the old traces of our memories together could be repaired and we could have something healthy. I just can't seem to let it go at that. I wish so badly I could've instead known her in real life... I know I keep hoping for something I'll never get as it's far too late. But it's so hard to leave something so painful AND so great at the same time behind.

I was recently on the other end of this, where I was the one who was cut off. Watching this has made me come to terms with the fact that even though it hurts, I will be okay. Thanks, Dodie!

Thanks for this dodie! Went through a breakup today, and needed this! 💛

When watching Dodie just sit and talk to the camera I feel like she's talking to me and like she's my friend even though she doesn't even know me and just that simple feeling is so comforting. Between that and how loving and helpful everyone in the comments is, I feel so overwhelmed by so much positivity.

i used this video to help me get over my very first breakup when i was 15, i’m 20 this year and i’m still using it for right now. it’s so beautiful and comforting and just thank you dodie for this <3 i’ll probably be watching this when i’m 30 lol

Dodie you're so inspirational, your advice is WONDERFUL! I needed this so much I love you.

I watched this video 2 years ago to help get over my first heartbreak. Watching it again to help with my second heartbreak. Thank you so much for this video, dodie. It really does help put things into perspective and focus on the bigger picture ❤❤

I wish I had a friend like you, Dodie. Sometimes my friends do not listen to me and they are just kind of there to be there. Someone like you being in peoples lives as good friends would be great. The best we have is your help and hard work now. Thanks Dodie!

"If you're crying right now, keep crying." Yes, I am crying. Because this helps so much. I was doing some of these things already, but it wouldn't stop to hurt. It still hurts. And hearing you say that it's going to be okay made me believe in that more. Thank you. Thank you so much.
It's still gonna be hard for me, because I was cut out of 6 people's lives who meant the world for me, and I was replaced, but I'm gonna be okay eventually. Hopefully.
Thank you, Dodie, for keeping my head up a little higher. Thank you so, so much.

i remember watching this the day it came out and wondering if i'd ever be able to use this advice. and now, im finally trying to cut ties with the most toxic friend ive ever had and now i found myself back here. thanks for everything you do, dodie.

I needed to hear this today. I put way too much energy and time into someone that I shouldn't have. I had some unmet expectations. We're probably not going to have a big chat. But that's okay. Respect and trust were not equal which I now know what the issue was. I'm glad I put myself "out there" and I'll do it again sometime sooner than later.

Dodie your channel has always been here when I needed it and this is evident now more than ever thank you❤️

Thank you for this video, Dodie ♥ I'm going through my first breakup and it feels so overwhelming. I hope I'll be okay someday.

This got me out of a really abusive relationship and I can't thank you enough

I don’t know how but you always manage to come up with the perfect video when I’m going through something. I appreciate this so much dodie, you’ve said pretty much everything I needed to hear. ❤️

When you uploaded this I couldn't relate. Now, it's like I told you what's going on and you're giving me advice on how to deal with this. Thank you dodie for being you. I love you ❤️

thank you so much, dodie. I’m in my lowest of my lows and this helps so much. I’m going through this with a friend, and I just want to say thank you. you’ve really helped

I went through cutting ties with a best friend/major crush who was actually really horrible to me and I had to give them up. It was awful. At the time I wasn't in the best mental state and I wasn't talking to anyone about it.
FOLLOW DODIE'S ADVICE. Everything she says is true but you will get through it.
I rang my other best friend crying, we skyped (while I cried), I never shut up about how much everything hurt.
But it gets better. So. Much. Better.

It was his birthday recently and I had completely forgot.
I call that progress.

After watching this I'm actually smiling sadly, as I did exactly this. I watched this before after cutting ties with someone I truly care...cared? about and I'm feeling better now. Much better with better people in my life. Thank you for the help, dodie <3

Hello Dodie! (Or everyone reading this) This is a wonderful, mostly because there's not a lot of advice out there for people to look up during this situation. I would like to bring up one thing; If the person you are with is very possessive or you fear they will yell/harm you if you try to bring up this subject, it might not be the best idea to have a chat with them. To be honest, it will most likely be better (not guaranteed, I'm not perfect) to walk out, stay with someone close or a safe place, and I would recommend seeking professional help, as it can be rather scary. Anyways, love the video!

Dodie, thank you for making this, I have been listening to this on repeat for the last few minutes and it's helping me, even if I don't realise it. Thank you!

I really needed this. I'm currently going through a pretty crap heartbreak, so this is so great thing to watch💕

she made this video at the best time for me and it literally applied to my situation so perfectly I really needed it 💖

Hey! So I'm coming from a different point of view on this, I understand that if you're cutting ties you want to maybe consult with them, but being on the receiving end of that was horrible. I was actually feeling the same way as this person was, but the way they went about it was just heart breaking. Basically telling me it was my fault that we fell out of a healthy friendship. If you're going to consult with them please just be polite. And if you're school with them, you can't really pretend they don't exist, because it just comes off as rude. I have cut ties with someone before, and I didn't consult them. I simply was still friendly to them but just slowly overtime distanced myself. We are still friendly to this day, and I don't regret it at all. It was better for me in the long run but just remember this person has feelings too and it might stir up a lot of drama amongst peers if you attempt to pretend they don't exist.

I watched this video before my first relationship and now watching it after my first relationship. Cried a little this time. I'm glad to know a year is more normal than a few months because it's been a few months and I don't feel healed. Thank you, Dodie xx

Thank you dodie. I cut ties with someone a few weeks ago that was toxic and I'm still dealing with it. I know it's for the best and it will be better and it is better actually, but it still hurts. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I hope you have a wonderful day. 😊

I got out of an abusive friendship a few months before this video was uploaded and I wish I could've seen it sooner. I think I could have used a bit of support and you know, just someone to tell me that I would be okay in the long run. I got over them anyway, but it was so painful and I felt so lonely. Thank you for making this video, I'm sure it'll help a lot of other people going through this. Love you always x

I always have to come back to this video for different people and damn it hurts, but it’s always helpful, thankyou x

I remember watching this when it first came out. I was in a very toxic friendship at the time and this video inspired me to end that relationship. Two days later I completely stopped talking to that person and cut them entirely out of my life. It’s been over a year and I’m okay. My self esteem is so much better and I’m so much happier.

I T W I L L B E O K A Y .

I cried a lot, but this is my favourite video forever.
Thanks Dodie♥️
I'll play this on replay to remember that all bad times will pass, wounds heal & time will help & that at last the only person that can make me (yourself) happy is me :) & that's fine because depending on someone sucks & it's toxic & hurting. People come & go, and there's always going to be that one friend that stays & loves you for who you are & really cares about you. I'll be fine with just 1 or 2 friends as long as our relationship is healthy, honest, loyal & full of love. I think I just write this as a catarsis. Lol.

I love how she posts this when I need it the most

I'm cutting ties with a girl who was one of my best friend for years and I'm going to see her every day in school but this video helped me so much and now I know it's for the better. Thank you Dodie!💛

I watched this last Christmas when I was going through a breakup and guess who’s back the same time a year later with a different guy

edit:
LOL back again ouch

i recently got out of a v toxic long term relationship and rewatched this video. it honestly feels like chatting with a friend and i appreciate that. dodie is so honest but also calming and i love that she keeps saying "it will hurt im sorry for that" it just feels real. thank you for helping me.

I just want you to know that I remember this video from the first time I watched it and I made a mental note to remember this for when I need it. Today I cut off my toxic friend and confronted her and I needed this video to make me feel better. I don’t necessarily feel bad about cutting her off for myself but I’ve been avoiding it because of concern for her mental health but today I came to the conclusion that if it doesn’t happen now it’s just going to build up and blow up. Thank you dodie everything you say always makes me feel better and I hope you know how much of a help you are to people.

dear Dodie.
thank you, you are a true inspiration thank you for being like a big sister, someone i can look up to an come to for advice (in a sense). i (not so recently) cut ties with someone whom i was in a platonic relationship with.
this person was very self conceited and liked telling me that she'd be the only person who will ever really and honestly care for me. she kept me insecure, so she'd feel better about herself and i'd keep coming back to her, (because only she cared... right?)
you were the one who finally made me pluck up the courage to cut her out of my life and for that i want to thank you. (oh my gosh i'm crying)
anyway. like you said, it hurts and on a daily i want to go back to her and talk to her, make excuses yo justify her actions to make her "not that toxic". and i can't because she is... but then my real friends (with whom I've now formed a much stronger bond) would remind me that i don't owe her anything
i guess i'm just trying to say thank you for being you and sharing your experiences they really do help people

I just started falling in love with this guy for the first time in years but I have severe abandonment issues & my mind has instantly supplied me with reasons on why He’ll never feel that way for me & why I don’t deserve it...this really sucks.

This was really nice to hear. Someone I considered my best friend recently cut ties with me, and so I'm really glad I came across this video. It's really hard, because I still have to see her every day, but I know I can get through it

I appreciate this video so much. I've rewatched it many times over the past 9 months in my process of getting over someone. I finally fully cut them off last month and it has been really good for me but it still hurts. I rewatch this every time I cry about it because it's a wonderful reminder that I'm doing the right thing and that It's ok.

When I first watched this, I had just been broken up with by a boyfriend of three years. I didn’t want to do anything Dodie said because I was in denial. More than a year later, I can strongly agree with everything she says. It took me a while, but eventually I did all of these things and I felt a lot better. And it took me a year to fully recover.

when Dodie said "if you're crying right now...." it made me laugh while i was in the middle of sobbing. really needed this video ❤️

thank you for making this..i was in an abusive relationship and I was struggling so hard to leave. now I have the help of family and friends and I've taken the proper steps to leave. blocking him on everything and blocking his number permanently at the phone company. I know it'll hurt but I have family and friends which I'm so thankful for. last night I watched this video crying and it helped a lot. everything you said in this video was completely true and I'll be watching it many times over again, especially on those bad days to help me get through it. so thank you so much for making this ♡

I've watched this before, during and after the end of a relationship and each time understood and appreciated everything said in this video all the more. You are a wise and smart lil bean dodes, tyvm for making shit like this to guide me and others. Okay bye

Thank you so much dodie. I've been watching this video a lot for the same situation. It's really helpful, I love you a lot

I watched this at the start of my break up. It’s been three months and I’m making a lot of progress without that person now. Thank you Dodie :)

Thank you so much for this video Dodie. I had a lot of really bad fall outs with the same friend, and this recent one was the one that did it. This has helped me so much.

genuinely thank you so much for this video it has helped me personally and when my friends are going through things like this even if they don’t know you i show this to them and it helps so much and i just am so grateful for this, thank you <3

tips
-write poems; just getting your feelings out in a understanding way has helped me a ton so try it even if you aren't poetic!
-crying & letting go; express the hurt and pain will help relief it. stop wearing something they gifted you with and throw it out or give it to a relative you trust and are close with.
-practice self love; just in general we should being doing this but looking up some healthy ways to help yourself grow will be better in the long run.

i'm beyond grateful for you and your videos and the people they attract. you and everyone in the comments are real and supportive and it gives me so much hope. thank you, dodie and fans of dodie.

Haha, two years after breaking off a really close friendship and I am glad to say that I followed a lot of Dodie's steps and... they've worked pretty well! Some days I look back on my decision and wonder if I was right, because it's in my nature to reflect on the shit I've done and occasionally, regret some of it. The one sad thing is that I dumped an entire year worth of a friendship as well as any possibility of a relationship, over a text. Cringe. And I'll never get closure. :^)

Hi, Dodie.
I just want to say how grateful i am to find this video when i'm scrolling through my youtube home. Thank you so much, you have no idea how much i need this. I'm in the process of getting over someone, and somehow i need reassurance that what i'm doing now it's a good thing for me and after i watch your video i'm feeling a little better. So i just want to say thank you so much❤️

I've recently become enemies with my best friend and have been going to therapy for more than a year to get over it, especially at Xmas time when my mental health hit me most and my "best friend" helped me last year. I just wanted you to know that this video really helped me and that no one is alone in their post-suffering relationships/ friendships/ etc...

YouTube recommended this to me exactly when I’m going through this exact situation, I’m so glad dodie says it takes time coz I felt so pathetic for still feeling rubbish months later, ugh heartbreaks hurt ❤️‍🩹

Hey Dodie, just wanted to let you know that this video came at an incredibly good timing for me. I just broke up with my boyfriend, of a year, a couple of days ago. It's bad but know it'll get better. Also, your EP has been on replay in my headphones since it came out! Absolutely love it! Keep up the fantastic work and thank you for your lovely words. ♥

4:01
That "you're gonna be okay". I needed that more than I realized. I started tearing up.

I cannot even begin to describe how much this has helped me. Thank you. I'm not going into details, I'm unsure of who out the of the people that I know watch your videos and may come across this comment, but recently I've had to cut ties with my best friend because everything ((as in, the way I felt and the fact that she basically stopped caring about me)) just got too much. Nobody, out of a couple of friends that I talked to about it, was able to fully talk to me about it. Listen, yes. Say anything back, no. Watching this video has made me feel 98.9% better and I can't thank you enough.
I was crying watching this video for two reasons:
1) when I tried to get over this person, I blocked them on everything and tried to talk to them. I thought I was doing the wrong thing. Of course, you're no therapist and your advice isn't always right but I'm so happy that the advice that you gave is the same as what I did because it reassured me that what I did was okay.
2) at one point I was listening really really intensely to everything you were saying. Then you told us that it was going to be okay and i juST LOST IT. For so long I've been waiting to hear somebody else say it and then BOOM you did and out came the tears and every last piece of emotion that came with the tears and omg I'm so dramatic.

I honestly love you so much Dodie. Thank you

I really needed this...thanks, Dodie. Love you! You are truly an amazing person!

I watched this video needing it almost 9 months ago, and rewatching it now, thank you so much. I didn’t follow all the tips exactly, because of the situation, but this video helped me so much back then and I can honestly say I feel so much between now

Dude
I literally
I can't right now
I'm going through this right now and I really really needed that
thank you very very much
It is very nice to know
that there are
others like
me

Thanks Dodie, this was wonderful to listen to, needed it 💕

thank you dodie for this wonderful video! it means the world to me and a lot of people <3

Ththank you dodie, I really needed this. I have a really toxic friendship with a girl who is not necessarily the best influence, and we both agreed a while ago that we aren't the best for each other. This is really helping me cope with losing her

Thank just helped me so much! Not even with a romantic relationship but I've had a bit of a fall-out with my friend group and I'm having trouble being okay with that because none of it really happened on my terms but I think I'm feeling better after watching this :)

I watched this a year ago when I wasn't going through this, it popped up on my recommended today, and it's perfect timing, thank you Dodie

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?! I fell better after all you said and... I just wanna say a big thank you, Dodie. Sadly, I don't have a person who can have a conversation with me now (cause I don't really have any friends really). Thank you for being so open, thank you for saying all this things to your audience.

I started crying right before you said it’s okay to cry. When I watch your videos I feel like you’re the only person on Earth who can possibly understand my feeling and calm me down. Thank you. So. Much.

i always seem to come back to this video every single time i go through something like this and it always makes me finally stop suppressing how i’m feeling and actually allows me to cry about it and be upset and move forward from it

you made this video the week im going through a 4 year breakup, i needed this more than anything.

i was having a hard time getting over my ex who broke up with me (over text i might add) and thought i would turn to the wise and kind words of my dear dodie, and i stumbled upon this video. thank you so much for your thoughts, its really nice to have a solid list of things to start with rather than just being like "im upset. im losing this person. what do i do. how do i cope??" you are such a wonderful ray of sunshine and i am immensely appreciative of you.

I watched this video a few months back.. I had an ex that I had been with for a year.. and after 8 months I still wasn't over him.. nothing was happening I just couldn't get over him.. and then I stumbled upon this video.. and it did wonders for me.. I can't tell you how thankful I am dodie!!! It pushed me up in the right direction!! and I went back to school and saw my ex and I didn't feel like crying.. my heart didn't really feel much at all for him really.. and I think I'm finally ready to let my heart love again! thank you dodie!^-^

I still remember watching this last November, I cried a lot and felt so hard to move on from her. But now I am able to smile and live my life happily coz past and experience only makes you stronger. I'm so grateful that i find this channel <3

Thank you so much❤️ This really helped me. I have to cut ties with my 'best friend' which I know since 7 years but she's always jealous when I'm doing something with other friends, talks behind my back and don't appreciate the things I archieve. The thing to write everything down and let them know will really help me I think

I just found this video, and I can't tell you how much this helped. I'm cutting ties with someone, and I need to take the final step. thanks dodie❤

It’s hard when I still love him and he still loves me :(

I have been watching you for almost a year now and watched this video when I began listening to your songs. I made a new friend who we will call Destiny, this year and she has watched you for a long time too. We're best friends and have a very healthy friendship. My school is a charter for the arts and she got in because someone else who we will call michelle, introduced her to it. "Michelle" has been in this school since last year and I've heard things about her which got me excited to meet her (since I have never had a class with her). I met her and she was pretty nice and we both love musical theatre. After a while she kind of became annoying and has become super clingy. I was also told that she lies a lot and is terrible with secrets which made me even more uncomfortable. I told "Destiny" about the fact that I didn't want to be so close of a friend to "Michelle" any more and asked what I should do. She told me to watch this, in which has given me an idea but, she is really sensitive and want to give it to her in the nicest way possible. I've tried to tell her that I don't wanna be that close to her but she kind of just ignored it a while later. If anyone can try to help me out asap please feel free to reply. Ily dodie thank you so much!

okayyy, so this video literally feels like a hug from a friend, and after a lot of tears I feel like this was the hug I needed. feeling like you're stuck in limbo when you still feel for someone and you know its coming to an end is incredibly difficult but everything is going to be okay and everything happens for a reason and every heartache is a lesson

What if the person you need to cut it off with somebody you fucking love who hurt you but you constantly forgive them but you just can't let go because you cant

I needed this more than ever today!! thank you Dodie!!!! <3

I recently ended a friendship that was toxic in both ways (me to her, her to me) and I was getting a bit teary eyed through the video, but when dodie said to cry and let it all out I broke down in tears, because everything she said was so true, I try to act like im not in pain but it hurts so much. I miss my friend but it was for the best.

Thank you so much dodie this video really helped

It had been 2 months since I did this with someone and I honestly thought I was just overreacting cause it’s been so long and then you said it might take a year and I’m like ugh that it’s gonna take that long, but I’m also glad to know that I’m not like crazy or something — thank you so much for this Dodie

When this video came out,it had been almost a year since my ex and I broke up and I still wasn't over him. And I was actually getting very legitimately depressed over this. I followed the tips in this video and now,I'm completely over him and we're completely just friends and I feel great. Thank you Dodie :)

I am going through something like this now and this video is ssooo helpful, thank you doddie

I watched this the night before I made the decision to cut ties with someone who was very toxic but I was also very close with and I cannot tell you how helpful it was<3

"I'm not a therapist" DODIE YES YOU ARE OML😂

this is amazing. thank you. i recently cut ties with one of my good friends because of how toxic she was being towards me. it was an unhealthy relationship, so much so that i felt myself suffocating. it was obsessive, almost, the way she couldn't let me go or insisted in going out with me everywhere, the way she followed everything i did and couldn't let me have anything for myself. it hurt to cut ties with someone i never dreamt i would lose, but ultimately, it came up to be a decision i don't regret. i feel free again, free to be with other people and friends, free to not feel controlled by somebody. i have made so many new friends over the course of this time and if you're reading this and are going through a similar relationship, i know how scary things can be to drop a relationship you spent so much time on. but it helped me so much, and it WILL help you too. don't hurt yourself anymore, cut those ties :)

Almost two years later this video is still just as impactful as when i first saw this back when it was posted. I've experienced this from both sides and it's completely heartbreaking, I've been the toxic person before without understanding that it was me not them. I've accepted that I've done so much wrong but i'm horrified that i put the person i loved through hell and experiencing the same thing she did from another person i thought i loved opened an old wound. I lived in fear of my last girlfriend after the one i was toxic to, i was scared to leave the house in case i saw her and my anxiety just went out of control. She'd threaten to kill herself if i wasn't constantly with her or behaving in a certain way that couples do but i knew i didn't love her and i wasn't comfortable with those things. The girl i made miserable was the only person i could talk to because of my mental health but i depended on her, i was jealous of how she could talk to other people and i didn't like not being able to talk to her but in doing so i never realised i restricted her or i didn't want to accept that i was to blame. I was to blame, i held her back but she's recovered and i will never hold her back again and i'm so glad she's okay because she's the last person on earth who would deserve to be sad. Now i see that she's happy and i'm so so proud of her, i haven't spoken to her in years because i don't want to hurt her again the way i did before and i hope that this is best for her. My mental health is crumbling but now i know what is toxic behaviour and i am changing, i only realised my mistakes watching this back in 2016 and watching it again i see how far i've come. If anyone reads this please just make sure you don't hurt the ones you care about and do what's best for both of you because to this day it's the worst thing i've done. Dodie's advice is really accurate for me and so are the comments so thank you.

"You're gonna be okay. Alright." that got me.. i teared up.. then if ur crying right now, keep crying. yup that started it THANKS

This video really helped, a lot.🙂I felt like I was talking to a friend who truly cares.

Love u dodie this advice was perfect... happy that I'm not alone or crazy for feeling the way I do abt someone

How can i just found out about your channel now, you're just perfect. I like your music, your personality, your vlog, everything. Your excitement and happiness are contagious and i really need it right now, thank you so much.

I cannot even begin to explain how important it is that this video popped up in my recommended section today. I always find your videos so helpful and I had no idea that this one existed. I'm happy I know now. Thank you Dodie. <3

I used to repeat this video again and again for weeks. I listened to it to go to sleep, when I was really sad. And now I returned to it and I'm so happy!! So so happy and proud of myself. I got over him and I feel sooo free. I still love him but it doesn't hurt, not a little bit.

Needed to rewatch this video today! Thanks for the advice Dodie! :)

The world is a brighter place for you being in it, Dodie. Thank you for being a kind, uplifting person :)

I just "broke up" with my best friend. This helped me so much. I love you so much dodie and you've made me so much happier

I love you Dodie, thank you so much for this kind of videos!

i had this really big fight with one of my friends and i didn’t know who to deal with it and when i saw this video i immediately removed him from snapchat and instagram. and cried for like an hour 😂😭. thank you so much for this Dodie!

All these comments, I feel so bad but happy at the same time to know that we all are finding comfort through this video. Her voice is so gentle and calm and I can't even. Sigh. Love can be a good thing but when it leaves it hurts so much. So much.

Thank you. This video is exactly what I needed to let go. ❤️

i remember when dodie uploaded this, and it made me realise how long ive been putting of and pushing down my thoughts about my best friends. wow. I'm glad that I've cut ties with her.

I really needed this video. I fought with my best friend and we've been friends for years. I know she's toxic for me but I still held on because the friendship I had with her was there for so long. She's ditched me and insulted me more times than I can imagine. She kicked me out of her house when I first told her I was bisexual. She used her boyfriend to look cool and fit in, called me a slut because my best friend was a dude. Called me a depressed freak who is obsessed with dramatic situations and likes attention. Even after this I remained her friend but I watched this video today and realised how much of a toxic person she is. I sent her a long text message and blocked her from all social media accounts and cried. Thank you dodie for being there more than she ever was.

youtube just recommended me this in the day i had the conversation with my best friend about our relationship. we need to take a break. I already talked to him 2 times in this year about this, but only now when i was sure i had feelings for him i could honestly speak about the situation. the harderst part of it all is that we love each other so much and it seems like we are neglecting the other's feeling. this already happened before and truly the only thing that made move on was all the topics you doddie said. it wasnt easy at the age, so won't be now, but i'm hope we'll be able to find a way to overcome the things without needing to pull us back from our friendship. thank you for the video, doddie, it comes in a freaking good time for me. peace and love

I've recently had to cut ties with a girl I thought was my best friend. Going through this I have some advice for all of you. Here we go: You don't need them in your life. I thought I could never live without them yet I'm still standing here stronger than ever. There will be those nights were you cry your eyes out and you wanna give up but those nights make you stronger. You are loved and you are cherished. Love the friends you have now and appreciate them and go to them in your time of need. No matter how hard it gets remember you are a warrior and you can get through this. I did and if I did then you can too. I bet whoever you are that you are a great and beautiful and you should be treated with respect and whoever your cutting ties with doesn't treat you like that so their not needed in your life. Stay around those who love you and get through this with them by your side.

I watched this a few months ago and it motivated me to cut ties with my closest friend who was very toxic and constantly hurt me so thanks:)

one of the best advice vids ever. im going through this rn and you’ve helped a lot. thank u

dodie i’m so glad i found this. ive just broken up with a friend i’ve had for about a year. i never realized how much it affected me for the things that she did, but in the long run i know it’s what’s best. it’s really difficult, because she was one of my only friends. over a year later i’ve finally realized how toxic it was and she didn’t even realize. the bullying was completely ok to her, she didn’t think it did anything to me at all. she’s still consistent on trying to get me to be her friend again and no matter how many times i say no she’s still trying. so i took your advice. all of it. i’ve been watching a lot of your videos again lately and, i don’t know. sorry for the rant <3

Thanks for this:) I'm kind of going through a breakup right now. Basically she wasn't in love with me anymore, and it just didn't work out overall. But we decided to stay close friends, and I'm actually seeing her again in like two weeks.
I thought this would work out fine, because we have pretty great chemistry and have a lot in common and stuff, and I thought it would be a shame to let that go.
But after watching this video, I'm kind of worried that we're just doing this because we're too scared to actually "get over" each other for real. Does anyone have any advice concerning this? Do you know, if it's possible to just go over to being friends right away? Or does it sound unhealthy to you? Have you been in the same situation? Would love to hear someones advice on this, and thanks in advance:)

Watching this on the verge of tears....I know it's time, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm broken.

If the relationship is one sided and you have had a chat with that person and they are dismissive of your needs and feelings and they don't seem to want to then, let go.
It's okay to let go of this person even for a short while( take as long as you need to) it will be much better for you mental well-being and you will like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

i hope this helps>:

Oh dodie. You have no idea how good it feels for you to be making this video, it feels like a best friend or a sister is talking to me and it's very comforting. I've been going through a sort of break-up because i was seeing a guy who told me he didn't want anything serious after two months which is not alot but it's still sucky... i miss him everyday but i know that this was gonna happen eventually. I'm kinda glad it was sooner than later. I just wish to be friends with him but i can't right now because it hurts, it stings. I just hope that maybe someday we can actually be friends and everytime that i look at him, it won't hurt like hell 😔
Thank you again, you da best.

I've had a 'friend' who I would talk with for hours on end on text or calling or just talking in person. She would dump all her problems on me and I would just let it happen, trying to solve every problem she threw at me. It went on for a year, with some weird breaks in between and I was in love with her for a while until I realized how manipulative she was being and I'm just now beginning to cut her out.
Watching you, Dodie, talk about this is making me feel better about myself when I felt guilty about leaving her. You've opened doors for me and showed me that it's okay to cut out someone I was so close with and release those emotions I've been repressing for so long.
So thank you, Dodie

I needed this SO MUCH. Thank you dodie 💗

I saw this a while ago, and it didnt apply to me so I wasnt that affected by it. Now I am going through this exact process, cutting ties with my first love because it’ll hold me back if I wont. So a friend, who is amazing just sent this to me cause she knows Im hurting. Thank you dodie for making this video, thank you friend for sending it to me :) I might be crying right now but its good, its gonna be okay. Can’f wait to see you preform in Bristol <3

5 months ago I watched this video, crying. the time and distance really works I feel 80% better now, it was one of the most hurtful processes I've ever expirienced. Thanks for this video, time does really work❤️ you, the one reading this, you'll get better ❤️❤️ its not the end of the World

In the summer of 2018, I cut ties with my best friends of 5 years. I grew up with these people and they were the only “best friends” I’d ever known.

Now, it’s March 2020 and I’ve been able to make many different small groups of friends that are kind and support me, no matter the challenge. This is especially new and beautiful considering that one of my ex-friends was quite jealous any time that any of us would make new friends, and, for that reason, none of us were ever able to.

If that person is reading this, I wish you all of the happiness in the world.
I wish you less pain than you gave me and more fulfillment than our years together has left me with.
I value all that we shared, but I’m proud that I’ve been able to move on from that toxic setting, and I hope you’re able to as well.


It can and will get better y’all. I’ve been able to grow from the pain, and sticking it out has been so much more rewarding than it would’ve been had I given up when my depression was at its worst.

I love you all and will adopt you as a friend on the spot when you cut them ties 💛💛💛

I really needed this... see, I'm going through this with a friend that I've known for only a year, almost two, but has come to be a really really important person in my life. This year we started having trouble and arguments at the beginning of the year. We had a huge fight around christmas and a few other friends got involved and that was that... then we had another huge fight and AGAIN other friends got involved (her best friend literally told of one of my best friends and cause her to be mad at me) but anyways... this fight kind of got the relationship go down hill wayyyy faster than it was before. She made a comment on something I said about my anxiety and she told me (basically, not directly.. this is how i took it.) that because this is involving her my anxiety or how the fight will affect me and my anxiety didn't matter because she was more important.. i wish now i could've told myself then and there this behavior isn't ok... but i didn't. So i talked to my teacher about it. I talked to my teacher because he understands and actually cares unlike most teachers in my school and i didn't want to talk to my friends about it because who knows who it'd get around to. We would keep getting into fights and life would get harder and eventually i just didn't feel the friendship anymore.. so I just changed my behavior when i was around her. Let me get this straight... i did not mean to change my behavior every time she came around, it just happened. So i decided one day when i heard her talking about me and one of my best friends to one of my best friends that that was the last straw. I guess i was a little bit over dramatic with it but i said something to her about it and told her we should take a break. (this was a week ago as i write this but thats ok) i felt so bad. I didn't cry, i couldn't pull myself to, i was just a mess. This showed on her face too, so i gave in.. I went back to her... i made myself do it. I have no idea what to do. Summer is almost here and I'm gonna be going into high school, as is she, and we're going to the same high school and I'm hoping maybe it'll branch off but i don't know if i should just end it or make myself stop it now or wait. I don't know if I'm over reacting or not. I just don't know... I've been through this type of thing before but it was far worse and that girl moved away so it was forced to end. I don't know how much sense this whole thing made but i hope it made a bit of sense because i really need advice... thanks for reading, much love! -Katie <3

its been nine months since I cut my best friend out of my life and it was really really tough for me. I've never had to do anything like it before and I didn't expect it to hurt so much for so long. Ultimately I know I was right to do it, and I think we've both been better since, but I still get moments when I remember some of the really great moments we had together. A big thing for me when I hit a particularly tough spot is I remind myself that sure, some of my best memories were with her, but there was a reason we don't talk anymore. it wasn't a healthy relationship in the end. I find it helps a lot to keep reminding yourself of who you cut ties with them in the first place because the desire to just forget about it and go back to them can be really overwhelming at times. This video was spot on though. Thank you for once again creating something that has helped me to feel more okay about myself and my own feelings and emotions :)

Thank you for making this video
It has helped a lot and I know it has helped a lot of other people xx

Oh my gosh I just found this video and it has helped me so much. I just had to cut ties with someone really important with me and I feel so much better with this advice! (also I'm crying so hard right now.)

I didn't know this is what I needed. Thank you so much Dodie, thank you.

Thank you dodie. Going through a really awful breakup now, I loved him so much and then all of a sudden he doesn’t love me and broke up with me in a text message. I won’t get into the rest as it won’t help but I’m going to try to be okay. Thank you

thx dodie, i have recently had to cut ties with my best friend. i realized how toxic she was and it has been really hard but i have come back to this video so many times and it has helped a lot ily <3

this really helped me when i was debating leaving my ex (we lived together) it was an awful time and this video was uploaded with such great timing, thanku so much dodes

You don't know how much this helped me. Everyday I tell myself that it's going to get better

I found Dodie when I was just starting to fall for my ex boyfriend and now I found Dodie again at the end of that relationship..

Thank you so much dodie. For about a year I’ve been trying to get over and cut someone out of my life because if I was with him I had no one else, he convinced me he was all I had and I was all he had but he always said and did awful things to me. I’ve been so happy now but every once and a while I still miss him. This helped so much just to know it’s gonna be okay and that this is normal and allowed.

dodie is like a big sister who sits and talks with you about things they've learned in her life.
I feel like she'd make you a cup of tea and just chat and listen to you.

Can I just say that your videos help me calm down and even get a bit happier.

You posted this video exactly on the day i cut ties with my toxic best friend and looking back i nvr thought i could be happy ever again but now ive met wonderful people in college and a lovely boy who likes me for who I am and I dont know what I would do without this video giving me strength that it will all pass soon and pain heals with time, im living breathing proof that it does get better so thank you so much dodie for being there for me youve helped me so much in growing with pain and moving on

I feel like people on the internet are better than the people in real life. I probably only feel this way because you can't see me nor I can see you. But then there is people you can see who want you to see them, they're comforting to watch and admire but I'm still scared because no one knows who I am.

looking back, this video came out on the day my now ex boyfriend decided to end our long term relationship. i used this as a crutch, and while i am coming back to it again now, i am able to see how much i've changed with both the aid of this video, and growing independently from him. thank you for giving me what i needed to move on

A few more specific tips -
When it comes to abusive friends, relationships who are online- just go without saying ANYTHING. Unfriend, block, unfollow, do everything.

If you don't know if someone is toxic to you, these are good signs ; they stress you out too much
They insult you when arguments happen and often go too far
They ignore you when you try to fix the toxic relationship, either ignoring the advice, putting blame on you, or etc.

There's other indepth info online, but SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE is what you gotta look for. Online relationships mostly result in emotional abuse, or sometimes sexual abuse if you feel obliged to do a certain task for them, like they've manipulated you to feel this way.

This really helped me. I REALLY needed to hear this.❤️

I love how right when I need this, I open up YouTube and see this. Thanks dodie! <3

I wish I had this video a few months ago as I cut ties with someone very toxic and it was quite messy and I feel terrible about it but thank you for uploading this so many people need it x

I’m going through something very similar with my ex-boyfriend, whom I just got out of a relationship with. He wanted to still be close friends right after the break up, but after a week of back and forth between torturing myself while watching him fall in love with my best friend or just get him out of my life, I chose the latter for myself, and after a long conversation with him, we both unfollowed each other on all social medias. I know this will be better in the long run, even though right now, it hurts like hell. This gave the courage to do all of this. And for that I cannot thank you enough.

Thanks Dodie. A really good friend of mine didn’t talk to me for about 9 months and when I finally saw him at camp, he pretended like I didn’t exist. Most of the session I spent crying. But I have a bunch of new, very loyal friends who are supporting me through it.

Just found this 2 years later and couldn't have come at a better time! Thank you Dodie!!!

I used to be friends with some people who weren't really that good for me and looking back I realise I felt negative all the time because I was friends with them and it was basically a one-way street at one point and it was just really toxic and escalated to bullying. I eventually cut ties with the people concerned and, three (almost four) years later, I'm glad I did and I'm grateful for what that whole experience taught me about myself and how healthy friendships and relationships in general should work. It was actually around this time that you posted this video and it really helped me a lot and it was a comfort to know that I wasn't the only one going through a situation like that. Thank you Dodie <3

Its hard to cut ties with someone when they are going through a tough time because you want to be there for them, but there is a point in time where there negativity starts getting to you and you can't do anything except cut ties. That is what I have learned over this year and a half of finding out who I am.

this helped me about 4 months ago with one of my best friends that i had for 9 years of my life. now i think i have to do this again with someone who i have been friends with for 6 years. leaving your friends that you feel like you have known for your whole life is the hardest thing to do but i will get through it just like i got through it with that friend i was friends with for 9 years.

i have watched this video at least 5 times. and each time i have watched this has made me realize how much i needed this video. when i first watched it, i had recently broken up with my boyfriend and at first it wasnt hard. but as time has gone on i've realized that what she's saying is true and very, very helpful. i didn't think i needed to unfollow him, i didn't think it would hurt this much, or that it would take this long. but watching this video has helped me realize that it does hurt and it does take time.
then there's the point where she says that you're gonna want to keep going back to them saying i'm hurting and that's exactly how i felt!
you depend on a person for so long and suddenly it just ends.
thank you dodie because this video has helped me so much. you are amazing!

It's my one year anniversary of cutting ties with my best friend! I had been friends with her for 10 years, we were as close as two people could be, and I was in love with her. She stopped talking to me and cut contact and it absolutely broke my heart, I knew I could either push to keep the friendship going or I could let it be and move on. I chose to move on and cut ties with her. I was absolutely broken because she was not only my first love (even though it wasn't reciprocated) she had been my friend for most of my life so it was like double heart break. Now I'm so unbelievably happy that it happened. The friendship was really bad for me. She was manipulative and the only reason I stayed with her for so long was because I was hoping that she would feel the same way and I couldn't let my fantasy go. When this first happened I felt like no one could ever understand how hard this situation was and that no matter what anyone said I would never get over it, but I did. It's going to take so much time. I didn't stop checking her Facebook and I friend her until about 6 months in. Just go at your own pace and remember that tomorrow you'll be one day closer to moving on completely.

Last week I cut contact with my father. It hurt but it was the best thing to do. My advice to any others going through this: Be strong, it will be okay again

I recently cut ties with a good friend and I see her everyday because of school& sometimes I want to turn to her and tell her a joke I heard or ask how her day's going but then I remember we don't talk anymore. It's been a month now& I was the one who initiated the end of the friendship but I had to. I wasn't happy with the friendship and it hurts. But I know in the end it'll feel much better getting rid of the toxicity

Literally came straight to this video right after my girlfriend broke up with me after 8 months and it really helped. Thanks a bunch, Dodie. ❣

i find myself coming back to this video every so often and honestly it’s been the best help♡

Replaying this and crying. Thank you, I really needed this. <3

I love you and I love that you exists to give so good advices!! also you have really great songs so it's a whole package!

im going through this at the moment.
it hurts so freaking much.

Thanks Dodie. You helped me get rid of a toxic friendship.

I love you so much you’re such a phenomenal person. You make me feel at ease.

Last night I think I ended my toxic friendship with one of my best friends. It feels like an open wound and I haven’t stopped crying. My friends literally came to my rescue and I love them so much ❤️ thank you so much for this video, I really needed it right now

My best friend and I have a lot of history. We've been through bullying,leaving friends,being alone and I thought we were friends forever.

But she did so many things behind my back:

Talked about me
Told my friends I didn't want to see them
Liked my Ex (who she's now in the flirty stages with only 2 months after we ended it)
Got extremely jealous when I would try and make other friends
Force me to be like her
Force me to make decisions I didn't want to
Force me to be a different person

Secondary school rolled around and she left me.

All alone without anybody and I was a puppy trying to find an owner.

She worried for so long about popularity she thought I would stick around but then I looked back and realised why am I still here?

Why am I still in this toxic friendship when there's so many more nice people I could be with

Let her be crazy and be 'popular'

Immediately after I left her she's come running back to me.

I'm still in the stages of confusion but I'm better now

And not outspoken for once 💗

Love Alicia xoxo

this is why i love dodie so much

I have a really bad habit of picking at scabs. I guess I do the same to myself emotionally, as well. I'm trying to get over someone who was never interested in me, and I needed to hear this. Thanks, Dodie.

this came up in my suggested at a time in my life where i’m considering breaking up with my long term boyfriend. i’m sobbing right now because it hurts so much but Dodie you’re so amazing what thank you so much for giving me faith that some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever

trying to get past a friendship. i’ve tried talking to her but she doesn’t want to. we fought and stopped being friends many times but the good times we had just masked all of that because they were so perfect. we planned parts of our future together and it feels impossible to go on without her. we both have mental illnesses and it felt so good to have someone who understood things that i was going through. this is going to fucking suck.

This was extremely helpful I love you Dodie

This is a really hard thing for me to do, and I value your opinions and advice as if you were my own friend (or mother, teehee), so thank you for making this video, you're an angel! ❤

Dear Dodie from the future and from this video, I am going through this right now over someone who I had a thing with but didn't have a label. He now has a girlfriend now and it still hurts be because I felt cheated on which I should feel anymore anyway. I thank you for this. I needed this. I now believe I will be okay ❤ I have become suicidal because of it but I realised my friends have been keeping me alive or trying to keep me alive for the past few days while I just wanted to end it coz it hurts so much. Thank you, Dodie
I will be okay ❤

I will watch this video probably a hundred times, thank you for being so nice,
you're like a really glowing angel. Thanks for saying all those things.

I watched this vid when you put it up, and loved it simply because I enjoy your videos but didn't have anything to apply it to. Fast forward to today, May 1st 2017, and I very very much am right in the middle of something like this, which makes this very helpful <3 the weird part was I'd forgotten all about this video, and AS I'm reading a text from the person I need to separate from asking me to hang out, and I'm struggling to say no and scrolling through youtube..... this 5 month old video for some reason comes up as suggested. so big thanks to the universe for reminding me of this, and to Dodie for posting it, it's showed up in an incredibly well timed way for me and i appreciate it a lot

thank you so much dodie. I'm going though a breakup and this helped a lot

"You don't need someone to fix yourself" got me emotional, I think I needed to hear that

I have been through this exact process but, like you said everything got better!

I remember watching this 3 years ago with no idea of what love was. The fact that this video popped up in my recommended so many years later is a sign. A sign It was a good thing I let go.

I’ve been sitting on this video for about 4 months now and I couldn’t even bare to press play on the video but this has made things a little bit more clear but I’m still going to have to take steps first before I decide what the best course of action is. Thank you very much Dodie :)

this showed up in my feed at the exact time in my life when I needed it. thank you dodie <3

I’ve recently been trying to break off a very toxic friendship with someone I’ve known my entire life and she keeps holding on. I can’t keep doing this anymore 😞

Going through this right now. Thanks, even gay friends have falling out. I ultimately love this person, but the interactions and communications have become toxic for me. So I walked away. And it still hurts. But it will be okay. We're both adults. Because I love him as a friend I didn't want to continue hurting him so I think it's best I let go of our friendship. (Currently crying)

A post to my future self...
I cut off my best friend recently, she wasn't toxic in a sense, we both loved each other very much but I was becoming obsessive over her. She was all I talked about, all I cared for, and all I ever depended on. Basically, the pure love we had in our friendship became toxic because we couldn't live separate lives from each other, even after we both moved to different countries. This video helps a lot and reminds me that there will be a day when this wound will heal and we may be friends again and that I have done the right thing, maybe even for the both of us.

This was so helpful! Thank you ♥️♥️

I'm rewatching this in 2018 because I have recently dealt with a toxic friendship. Not just a friendship-- but someone who was my BEST friend. Anyway. It really sucks because I want to tell her how rude she's coming off but that will only make things worse. 
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, Dodie, for this video. It means a lot.

I started to cry when you said I should let myself do it.
Btw I'm glad I found you, thanks.

I remember watching this quite some time ago, when I was in pain. I was friends with someone for almost a year i think, I thought they were my soulmate. This person knew every little detail about me, we were so so so close. And then earlier this summer, they just stopped replying to my messages. I thought it was nothing. But then i realized, that they were ignoring me completely. I messaged them on every social network, asking if they were okay, because I was just plain worried. But no response. I never found out why they cut me off like that, I never found out why they just suddenly decided that I shouldn't be a part of their life anymore, and for a while this really pushed me down. I never knew how hard it is to find closure without it being given. And then I found this video. I had doubted myself for weeks, and then I realized that it wasn't my fault. I would've done it in a healthy way, I'd never just ignore someone, someone that hadn't done anything. Thank you very much Dodie. At this point I'm pretty much over it, but this did teach me a lesson. I deleted them off of most of my social media, and it has made everything so much easier, not seeing subtweets about me feels great. Thank you. x

About 2 weeks ago I got broken up with by my fiance of 4 years. Now that I'm out of it I can see that it was an unhealthy relationship. I went homeless for a couple of days so i slept on a friends couch. That friend dropped everything and moved to a new place that i could live in. Its day two in out moving process and I'm so liberated . This video just solidified that I'm doing this right and I'll be okay. It hurts like hell losing somone you live to find out they were bad for you but I think it's worth it. I'll be okay

This is literally perfect because a girl I really liked broke me

This video is so true 😊 thank you Dodie🕊🐻

I'm trying to cut ties with somebody I was really close to, I actually dated, but I now see she's somebody who isn't good for me and during out relationship I was very cut off from everything and one else because of her. It's hard and I know I need to do it because I don't want to be pushed down any more, I want to be a free person. She, however, noticed the distance between us appearing and is trying to heal it (or was? Idk she has been acting different around me later in that aspect and I really hope she isn't dependant on me anymore). Thanks for this, Dodie, I think it will really help ❤

I know I'm late to watching this, but thank you. I'm currently going through a break up from a toxic breakup. Or I am at least because they lashed out and in my mind they forgot me. And for some reason that hurts more than anything because I'm dealing with paranoia every day. We had a really weird relationship where I was blamed for each problem and he was super clingy and possessive, and it brought back my depression and anxiety that I am still recovering from. Short story: I was in a dark place. ANYWAY, I prompted the break up, which was a long time coming in my mind. He was sad but understood, yet the next day he flipped the script, saying he broke up with me and started bullying from a far. Now my hands shake when I see him and I have a friend protect me if I know he's gonna be there, but my mind still romanticized our relationship, which also happened to be my first, so I'm dealing with the fact that I'm going to remember this forever. I've been questioning this decision because all the breakup videos I watch on YouTube say the person who broke up with the other person is in the wrong. But, this helped so much. You are probably never going to see this, but I still love you. Thanks Dodie 💕

I needed this soo so much. I know this isn't a recent video, but its still having an impact. Good job dodie!

I broke up with my first-ever-relationship-human at the end of September. She was my absolute best friend. I broke it off for many reasons and I think in the long run it was the best thing for both of us. It's been 2 months and I still think about it a lot. They don't tell you this but even if you are the one breaking up with someone, IT STILL SUCKS AND HURTS A LOT. It's important to grieve and recognize that it sucks but time and good friends will help you heal, just like ya said Dodes. Much love xo

Thank you for the help, and confidence. You're right. I'm healthier without them. :) <3

This is helping me come to terms with who I am as a person and that it is okay to feel the way I'm feeling, the person I was dating has long moved on. He never really cared about me because of how quickly he had moved on. I'm not over it yet because I still hurt from what happened but I am proud of how I handled things. I'm over him but not over what had happened. So thank you, things have been moving slow but they are slowly getting better

my boyf broke up w me today,, I've been crying for the last 3 hours and then i remembered the existence of this video and i came to rewatch it and i just want to thank dodie for literally saving my life by saying that it's okay to cry. i needed to hear all of this ty <3

hi! i love love love your videos you are such an amazing human being ive struggled w suicide and mdd my whole life im 26 now but watching your videos makes me feel, not so alone. xoxo so thank you. also what lens do you use if you dont mind me asking?

Thank you Dodie. This generally really helped me

I really needed this video. Thank you so so much. ❤

You’re honestly the only person who really gets things like this on a personal level I really feel like you know me

Honestly that fact that i see so much stuff like this going through socail media helps SO much. Like when i got dumped i thought to do this stuff just because i had exposure to it. And it makes it a lot easier. I really hope this becomea normalized

my childhood best friend became very toxic and after I broke ties with her. She got a group of girls that I didn't know to hate me and bully me for years.

three years later and still the most genuineness i have heard recently <3 i luv u and this, thank you

I'm crying :( but I'm so thankful for you and this video. You're lovely

This video has helped me so much. My girlfriend and I were together for 8 months and I broke up with her first because of an insecurity of mine, but I realized that I did make her happy after all. So, I asked her if we could get back together. But, then she basically told me with a smile on her face that she never really loved me. I loved her so much. She was my first love. She will always be my first love. I've cried so, so, so much. My heart feels broken. It aches. I have no idea what to do, but I know that I will get through it. I even wrote a song about it. That really helped me. Thank you dodie! I love you so much xoxo

I just broke up with my on-and-off-again boyfriend after 2,5 years of back and forth. It hurts, but I know now that it's what's best for me. This video helps me realize that I'll be ok. Thank you Dodie <3

i am so depressed rn and dodie makes me so happy

thank you so much dodie, today was the first day at school of not talking to my old best friend and it’s been absolute hell. thank you

sobbing I appreciate this. And the last one about the time thing made me feel so much secure about how longs its been and how long its taking me to get over this person. I was still crying over them after a month and my friend just made me feel like such shit for still hurting and its been probably 2 now and it is still so shocking to me? I'm still a little in shock and hurt. Lmao oh whale.

thank you so much dodie. i tried so hard to put this off even though i was told by everyone to do so by everyone. and then i saw this video and took it as a sign. and i slowly cut of contact with this person and i feel free now that i am over him. i cried a lot but now i feel more happier than i ever been in along time. thank you for reminding me not to press my feelings down and let all it out until it was gone xxxx

Can we take time to appreciate Dodie? She is a blessing to this world and helps so many people. :) I'm going through something really hurtful right now with someone I liked and this is helping a lot. Thank you. <3 :)

i'm trying to get through like not having my ex in my life anymore, we dated twice and i honestly felt like i couldn't survive without them but they were so, so toxic, like it's so hard but i know i'll get through it! if they'd leave me alone on social media it'd be easier but hhhh i've unfollowed them and everything, i will get over this eventually, thank you dodie <3

It's been a year and you still made me sob. What ya doing to me dodie, huh?!

When you said,”it’s going to hurt” I started sobbing.

I recently ended a relationship with my best friend. I had relied on her for everything and convinced myself that she was the only person I could trust. Eventually we started having fights over stupid small things (one time she started yelling at me because I was trying to defend someone). The last time she was mad at me because I didn't want to hang out. I had been gone from home for the entire week and I just wanted to sit down. She wouldn't listen to my explanation and told me that I had to make a choice. Either promise to do more stuff with her, or we weren't friends. I told her I needed time. The next day she called me and I didn't answer. I didn't answer because I didn't want her to scream at me like she had done the previous times. Soon after she told all of my friends how selfish and cruel and horrible of a person I was. We stopped talking and I turned to other friends. but everything reminds me of her, and I can't stop dreaming about her.
Thank you for making this video, dodie.

I just wanted to share a part of my life too, because cuting ties can only bring good things, even things you didn't expect to happen. I feel like it just applies to a break up situation, but maybe not :
My last girlfriend broke up with me after almost 3 years together. I had to leave our (her) appartment, and sleep on my friends couch for 4 month after that until I could get my own appartment. I was devastated and felt a lot of things : sadness, denial, anger... I embraced those feelings. It's important.

I had to keep touch with her because she still helped me and kept my stuff at her place, received my mail and I just couldn't "break up" with my 2 cats (that I left with her since I didn't have enough money and space for them, among other things).
Anyway, I was at my friends' for a while, and they helped me a lot. I stopped checking her FB after some time, and I shared my feelings with anyone who was ready to listen to me (my mom, strangers on the internet who are now realy good friends, my friends, my collegues...).

It was hard cuting ties, and I couldn't do it properly because of my situation but once I got back my stuff and had my own place, I only contacted her when I needed (forgot things there, still had some mail situation going on...). She sent me pictures of our/her/my cats from time to time because she knew I missed them, but nothing more.
And maybe after 7 or 8 months, I was okay, and asked her how she was doing. Since then we catch up on each other sometimes, she still send me pictures of my cats, we help each other and she supported me when girls played with me. I'm happy she's happy with her girlfriend, and she's happy I'm happy with mine.

We're kind of friends, I think. I don't know. But it doesn't hurt anymore and everything is just clear and simple and healthy.

So maybe, if you want to, you can keep touch with someone you loved :D. Just don't rush it, don't force it and take time for yourself. You'll be alright.

I remember I lost my only friends two years ago, and I came to this for help. Here I am, now, with some of the best people I could ever ask for. To be honest, they were kinda toxic.

im going through this right now.... its so hard.... thank you dodie... i love you

so, we have been friends for 2 years (he's a guy), I've had 3 boyfriends already but I've never trusted any of them more than I trusted this guy. we were truly inseparable, we chatted 24/7 and I could never get tired of him, we watched movies together (we started watching game of thrones recently dpfpdp). Then I started noticing that he shames me for things like collecting plastic bottles (to recycle them) or trying to drink more water (I downloaded an app to control my drinking discipline and he said that it's stupid or sum). I told him that we have to do something to our friendship and that it becomes unhealthy so he told me that everything was ok, so I've set my mind on rest for a week. Then we started arguing (about politics, we do that pretty often) and then suddenly it became more personal. He said that I'm 'presumptuos and disgusting'. I don't think that these are the words that I should hear from my best friend. I told him that we should break up and he agreed. I broke my heart and
I'm gonna miss him, but bitch I love myself more than I love him so I kinda did the right thing

I watched this a few days after me and my ex broke up a little less than a month ago.
I was the one who broke it off, and initially I didn’t know why I was doing it in the first place. I still liked him and enjoyed his presence, so then why did I feel so unhappy?
Then after some time, I realized some things that were wrong in the relationship that I didn’t see before, like how codependent we had become in such a short amount of time and how much I put my sense of self-worth into his perception of me.
It still fucking hurts, and I still think communicating how I felt throughout the relationship would’ve saved me from this happening, but I realize now that this wasn’t the worst choice. My self-esteem is still recovering and it hurts to not be able to talk to him, but I’ll make it.

Everything you have said are sooo true. Have cut ties with a special dear person to me, and have done all those things you have enumerated, and yes everything is OK now. I just went through the process and reminded myself of those people who genuinely cares and love me. ❤ everything heals and I know I have grown from that experience.

PS just discovered you and your channels and I'm totally hooked on your songs and Vlogs

Lately, I've cut ties with my best friend I've known for seven years. For a long time we've been inseparable but last few years were particularly difficult for me not to upset her so I ended up with being so scared of even talking about my opinions because I was either so fucking annoying and was CONSTANTLY complainining about something or (if my opinion was positive) I became addicted to some thing AGAIN and she was so fed up with my excitement she'd considered not to show me anything at all.
The worst thing is when I finally decided to let her go, it didn't hurt at all. I expected to be depressed for few months but I felt just free. So I just wonder how toxic our relationship must had been if I don't feel sorry at all.

Also, write a letter/text to them about how you feel even if you never send it.
This has helped me a lot.

Thank you. This video brought me back to earth at 4 in the morning when I was alone and breaking down. Thank you. That’s all.

Hey dodie! I love the background of this video (and I'm obsessed without your new ep:))

It's strange, I watched this video when it first came out and I couldn't really relate to this nor did I think I will ever will.

But I recently had to cut ties with an ex-partner and am finding that I am that it relates to me so much. We were only dating for a couple months, but we were friends for over 3 years. After the breakup my friend had become incredibly clingy and I stopped talking to her for a month. I tried talking to her again but only foubd that she was clingy as ever. She would often say how she hated that I left her alone for a month and if I didn't respond to her messages quick enough she would say that I wasn't trying hard enough and that she felt as though we were drifting apart. Maybe this doesn't sound like a lot, but to me it was giving me severe anxiety. I tried to tell her that I needed more space and that she was placing way too much pressure on me but would simply ignore it saying that she was feeling anxious too and that I needed to make more effort. I tried talking about how I was feeling a couple more time but she would always ignore it saying that she just wanted to be friends again and that I was making it difficult.

Ultimately I decided it was best that we cut ties. In the end I decided to send her a simple message saying that it was too much for me right now and I didn't feel happy being her friend. I almost regret not talking to her beforehand about it, however I know that I would have just stayed friends with her otherwise, causing me to feel more upset. Right now I am a mixture of feeling angry at her for everything she did and upset as she was one of the closest friends I had, but knew that I couldn't handle the stress of being friends with somebody who was so demanding.

Right now I'm just trying to spend time with people who are a lot more to me. While it can be difficult to talk about it find that by talking to my other friends about this has really been a huge help. This video has also helped me as it reminded me that what I am doing is the right thing. I hope that anyone else who is going through a difficult time due to cutting ties are okay and remember to take care of yourself.

i've watched this video countless numbers of times, just because its a really nice video to watch, but its never really applied to me. today one of my closest friends accused me of bullying her after she went through my laptop and bedroom drawers without my permission and everything has blown up in my face as i realize that i have to cut ties with her because she really just drags me down. wow lol i never thought this video would apply to me but here it is. its incredibly helpful tho and it calms me down a lot idk why haha

On behalf of me as well as everyone else who needed this, thank you

Thank you for this, Dodie x

I can express with words... how much I love the way you speak, the way you look, the way you express yourself , the way you smile...I can express with words how much I love u! you are my favourite youtuber and you deserve moreee subscribers !!?

I love you so much 😭 Such a pure and genuine person.

I was extremely stressed and had to cut ties with someone and I waited way to long to unfollow them on social media. I kept thing “well we are just acquaintances, acquaintances follow each other on social media” even though this person was toxic, I didn’t want to completely let go. However, every time I saw them make a post or I saw they liked my photo for some reason I felt pained. I needed to let go and seeing notifications on my social media from them was painful. Once I unfollowed them and blocked them things were a lot better. Also when I went through that time it was really rough because my friends didn’t care much and didn’t help me through it, which was upsetting. But I don’t have many friends so I talked to my mom who is my best friend and has always been there for me. So yes unfollow people you are trying to cut ties with and find someone you can talk to. Also thank you dodie for saying it’s okay to cry and feel your emotions because I tried to bottle them up for so long and that only made it worse. Best of luck to anyone else trying to cut ties, and do what makes you happy.

I’m watching a hell ton of your videos and I’ve always been that person who, people distance themselves from and I see that

I’m the toxic one, I’m not blaming myself for pity, I’m blaming myself because I know I’ve always been that person. But I’ve distanced myself from everyone, I didn’t fix it because I’m scared. I don’t have any friends, and I don’t talk to anyone other then the people in my home. I want friends, but I don’t want to hurt anyone else the way I did. I know that, it’s probably simple to just NOT be a shitty person.—but that’s the thing, I look back to myself a few months ago and I used to be kind, I used to let people in without overthinking everything, I used to play games with people and laugh, have conversations and I was a light hearted person.

But now, you see I tend to be self aware, I don’t know if it’s “anxiety” or me being paranoid but I notice when something’s wrong abt me or someone else. Recently I’ve, Ive noticed I’ve become colder? like, honestly I used to never swear but I find myself ranting while cursing. I snap and raise my voice at random times. I never yell at people, not my mom or lil sister. But I notice when I’m talking about something specific, my voice raises. Past year or so I’ve been pushing people away, at this point it’s so easy to cut ties with someone. I see myself as the bad guy, because [these involve online friends ++]

omeone to be rude and such, I thought I could help and be there for her. In the end, it resulted in her calling me a bitch, and idk some other things. I could’ve cut ties with her the second I started feeling bad because of her.

2) someone had left a few years ago, back then their boyfriend really missed them and I tried to find them because their boyfriend was also my friend and he meant a lot to me. Result? They called me creepy, I could’ve just waited because this person said that if I hadn’t found them, they would’ve came back and their boyfriend with suicidal for a while. I still don’t know how to handle this, it’s been 2 in a half years.

3) one of my last friends before I pushed everyone away [jan]
his best friend hated me, for being his friend. She talked shit about me, ranted about me to him, said I was stealing him away but I was just being a friend and he was my only close friend. Plus I wanted to be his friend for the longest time. I loved him, actually but we both knew that we would just be friends. [which I was fine with] but after, January? I just, I put myself on the spot, the blame, even if it was low, now it’s grown a lot. After I pushed him away, he made a new friend, he was happier, and his best friend came back. They are now good friends, thanks to my leaving, because if I was still his friend, she wouldn’t have came back. There’s so much more to add to this, but because I was his friend, his best friend got jealous and got hurt because of me, because I was his friend. He helped me a lot, I felt so weak and he was there. It hurt to push him away, but my absence got him so much better.

4) jul 2017 I got brave, said something about what happened to me and the result was

getting yelled at, saying it was my fault
seeing my mom cry so often
my gookum [grandma] called my mom a failure because I said something
I see my mom cry so often, it’s because of me and I said something
every one of my family members see me a lie, like I lied about what happened, but I wouldn’t lie about that
and there’s so much more, a lot more but I won’t get into that

5) Jan 9 of 2018 I tried to OD, same reason I did this jan 9th.
Result? My dad said it was my moms fault that I tried to OD, saying she should’ve hid the pills. From what they told me, they argued about the house and me. My dad said “this isn’t your house” or something and the next day my mom moved with my lil sister. It was only across the road and I live here now as well. But.
I know it would eventually come to this, but it was my doing that made my dad so angry he said things to my mom that got her to move the very fucking next day. Now my lil sister doesn’t even speak of my dad, we don’t even see him anyone. He’s never tried to be a dad, maybe a few times but that was only a few times. All of us are old enough to know, we are hurt by our dad. I’m mad at him, for a lot of reasons I won’t state. But I’ve always been the problem.

My mom blames herself, one time I had a break down and she said she was a failure, I felt so broke down. My lil sister is 8 and she already feels all the bad emotions you were supposed to feel at this age.

It’s my fault, I put myself in this spot. I’m only 14, turning 15 this June. Am I allowed to be this sad? Am I allowed to be this suicidal? is there something wrong with me? what the fuck do I do? I, don’t feel human sometimes. I feel like a walking time bomb, I have passions but I don’t know. I use art and video editing to cope with this loneliness and “sadness.”
But it’s all a huge cycle I’ve developed since 2016, and it hurts.

I barely eat, I sleep late and sometimes I stay away 24+ hours. I’m always tired and I just, I don’t want to be seen by human eyes.
But my mom pulls me out of that usually, I don’t understand why she’s still like this to me after everything I put her through.
I’m weak, and hurt. And I don’t know what to do anymore.
My break down last week, my mom started crying with me. Again, saying she was a failure, that she also doesn’t know what to do. She mentioned how I might miss my dad but I don’t. She threatened to put me back into counseling but I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t know if she will, I hope she doesn’t.

At this point, idk man.


This shit was long. Sorry. Don’t reply, please.

I am going through this myself right now, except we both still love each other a lot and it hurts a lot, and i'm in denial and lying a lot to my brain to make myself feel better. It's just really difficult because I'm not completely sure how far I should go to get over him because, we both still really want to be together but he just had a really hard time being in a relationship because of his mental health situation, so there's nothing I can do except accept it.

I'm in a situation like this with a beautiful person I know called Pizza. I used to hang out with Pizza all the time, but it started to get unhealthy for me and those around me. It was a tough choice but I'm finally starting to get away from Pizza. I even unfollowed Dominoes on Twitter. it was a tough choice, but I'm getting better.

Towards the end of 2016. My best friend (who I had been on and off with since we were pretty young) began to let her jealousy take over our friendship. I was so blind and wrapped up in the fact that I had a friend that I didn't realize that she had gone past a breaking point. She criticized me on almost everything I did. Again, I don't know if I just hadn't realized it before or if it had just gotten worse. What really set it off was when we had a whole conversation (or argument) about whether or not I was underweight. That argument caused me to realize how manipulative she had been. After that argument I developed bad anxiety and took a step back for a few days. In those few days she already found new friends. In the moment I was happy for her. My biggest fear was leaving her and her becoming as lonely as I felt. But now that I have had time away from that whole situation, I realized that she had decided that she couldn't wait a few days for me to get over something hurtful that she said. Now her friends can't hang out with her anymore because their parents found out about something she did. Part of me feels bad again; like there was something I did wrong, or that it's now my problem to fix. I'm worried about her. I still care about her, but I can't play her games anymore. I can't let her walk all over me again to leave me in the dust. I go to a small school, and everyone else has their group of friends. I really don't mind being by myself, but there are several parts of the day that become awkward because I have no one to hang with or I get in the way of other people sitting next to each other in class and things like that. I'm in eighth grade, so I'm graduating in a couple months. I'm soooooo looking forward to going to a big public high school where I am bound to make some real friends who I deserve. :)

I have watched this so many times the last few years. Thank you.

This video popped up right when I needed it. 💓 thanks dodie

This helped me soo much. Thank you ❤️

Dodie you should film a morning/ night routine , i find videos like that really calming for some reason lmao

I’ve always had problems cutting ties because I have an emotional attachment to everyone in my life even if I don’t admit it. My bestfriend of 7 years and me had a huge fight and stopped talking to each other but even before that we barely talked or rather they barely replied to me. Today i’ve decided i’m gonna message/call (haven’t decided) them and clearly voice my opinions on why this friendship isn’t working out I’m scared, sad, starting to regret but sometimes friendships just need to be let go.

This video helped me notice that I don't need a dude in my life that I've been with for a year and that I'm gonna be alright and it's gonna take time to heal:)

Thank you so so SO much. This video is so important and I really needed this. Thank you.

what do i do when i have a life problem? i read your book. or i watch your videos. or both! you’re so helpful and ily.

I was born without tear ducts Dodie, how can I cry!!! :(

Thank you for this video by the way. You are very sweet and seeing this truly made me feel better.

How strange that this video should show up in my feed. I'm going through the process of letting an ex go and and a friendship that turned toxic. This video is a much needed one. Thanks...

I had a hard time getting over my ex, I ended up unfollowing on all social medias however for a while I still kept looking back at pictures on his their Instagram which just made me hurt more. If I was in a place where we used to go together I'd try to say to my friend "me and blank came here for a date" and lucky for me every time I mentioned them my friend would stop me mid sentence. Cutting people out is such a hard and heart breaking thing to do but sometimes you've got to do it for the long run.

Thank you for this. I have a (I’m not gonna a call her a friend bc she’s not one) person that I know that is very very insensitive and was very rude after my grandma passed away. She calld me stupid every day and punches me and slaps me with books. I’m trying my best to cut ties with out hurting anyone’s feelings. Thank you for this 💕

I once met this girl online on a Minecraft server back in early 2012, we started chatting a lot and ended up getting incredibly close. She was just finishing up her exams in the Summer of 2013 and was about to go to college (high school for Americans) although she truly wanted to be a YouTuber at heart and loved filming and making videos, you may have heard of her as Leozaurable on here, although her channel isn't huge. She happened to go to the same college as a relatively big YouTuber at the time, some of you may have heard of TheGamingLemon (I think he had around 1M subs at the time, currently sat at about 3.4M) and she began to develop a lust for him. She talked to me about him all the time and I encouraged her to try her best to get close to him and such (as my friendship with her wasn't romantic, and I didn't want it to be), so she eventually did and one thing led to another and they started dating. Gradually she sorta' started speaking to me a lot less frequently and it felt uneasy, to say the least. She always told me she was busy, but from her active social media, it didn't seem like the odd Facebook chat would've been too much hassle. Eventually the messages got shorter, and further apart, and eventually she stopped talking to me completely. She had supported my channel as I'd supported hers, and the day, just last year, I knew it was truly over was when I checked my subscribers and she'd gone. Safe to say I was more than a little heartbroken. I guess the moral of the story is that moving on is crucial in keeping yourself sane. I tried desperately for months on end to reconnect with her, to no avail. The sooner you realise that it's over, and they're gone, the better. Sorry for the long story, just feels good to vent it out on occasion.

I watched this 2 years ago when I was in this situation and it was SO helpful
I'm back now I'm in good terms with the person but it was good to cut that person off then thank you so muchhh! <3

dodie, i love you i love you and i love you i can’t tell you how much i love you for saying everything i’m feeling right now , i LOVE YOU

This made me ball my eyes out after splitting with my boyfriend who was completely toxic. Mainly because this video made me realise so much, I don't need him, my life doesn't revolve around him. I felt broken without him but I'm not! Im a whole without him. I don't need him. I can do this!

I wish I had watched this video when I was going through my break up. Now I tell all these things to other people so at the very least I learnt from it but it was the hard way. I thought seeing my ex with other people on purpose would make me hurt and so somehow I'd get over it faster. Haha no. That was just torturing myself. I just got rid of social media as a whole because they weren't willing to talk to me to have closure as they had already moved on. I'm okay now, I don't like them and I think the way they handled it was quite frankly, shitty, but oh well. Getting rid of social media is a whole other thing though.

"supressing is not healthy" TELL THAT TO DAN

thank you for your wisdom dodie, you are so lovely

We were in a "long distance relationship" you could say, 2weeks ago she cut me off for another guy with no explanation whatsoever. I've cried over it twice since then. The reason being is I'm not sad about not being with her, I'm disappointed that I let her take advantage of my feelings, it seems like she just told me what I wanted to hear. Now I don't know if she ever really loved me the way she said. We shared personal details of our lives together, so there was feeling and trust there for the most part. I accepted every fucked up thing she told me about her life, and her family that most guys would have been out there and then, because I loved her. I guess being a good guy and wanting to do all these nice things girls SHOULD love like going for dinner, getting her flowers, cuddling, walking, etc just weren't good enough for her. Even though she said she wanted all those things. It seems when it came down to it, when I was due to fly to the US in three weeks on Nov 8th, she just got scared, wasn't down for a long distance relationship knowing that I would have to eventually leave, and settled for someone closer. She unfollowed and blocked me on almost everything. I dunno if she's having second thoughts and just won't contact me and wants me to come to her but I really don't know if I should, because she played me, wasted 4 months of my life being hopeful that a relationship would be a possibility, and wasted my money on flights that I can't get refunded on. But The lack of honesty is what hurts the most. She preached about it all the time, saying she'd always tell me the truth and then proceed to do the exact opposite. Tells me she has trust issues, then lies to me. Hypocrite. If thing had gone bad when I was over there it might have been even worse, but I'll always think what if... If she ever contacted me again, being the fool that I am I'd probably give a second chance at it honestly. But for now, it's her loss really, but I'm the one grieving.

This helped me so so much! Thank you

I just broke up with my best friend. Thank you for this video, it helped

Dodie Clark, you're my hero ❤

I really needed this. I did start crying and now I can’t stop

I had to do this exact thing my junior year of high school with my then-best friend. I was stupid and ghosted her instead of explaining anything which I regret now, but ultimately can’t change. I know it was the best decision for me though and I don’t regret cutting them off. I reached out years later to explain myself, but it didn’t help in the long run. Sadly though, this person made it their life mission to pin people against me in anyway possible afterwards. School, church, work, you name it. I even moved across the country to go to college and she actually reached out to people/roommates there too to try and make my life miserable. I understand she was hurt and I’m sad that I hurt her, but your mental health and being treated kindly is more important than sparing someone else’s feelings. So, for people who have been cut off, try to think of why they felt they needed to in the first place and keep an open mind. If someone feels the need to cut you from their life, its not something you need to or should hold onto forever. Move on and find people who are right for you and want you in their life! I know it can be hurtful to experience this, but it’s also important to respect someone’s decision to move on with their life without you. It’ll turn out okay for the both of you, with or without each other 💕

I broke up with my toxic ex. I was going to keep being friends, but I really couldn't deal with what they did to me. I kicked them out of my life.

Two things:
I'm coming to the realization that I need to do this with a close person in my life who I don't trust anymore because they outed me as Bi. This person is however not mentally stable enough for me to cut ties with them.. I don't think they will understand that this is what I need to do and I fear they will take it out on them self. It also doesn't help I see them everyday in person and the pain won't fully go away for a long time.

The other thing is one of my best friends in the entire world needs to do this with her boyfriend. I've been telling her for almost a year now he is toxic to her and she is being blinded by obsession. I have no clue how to convince her she needs to let go of him..

i know you probably dont check these but dodie you dont know how much this helped me. whenever im seeking for advice on a topic i look through your videos to see if you made anything to talk about it and this video has helped me so much. my boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago and its been the hardest thing in my life and i still am not over it. this video has helped soothe my soul so much, thank you for making content like this <3

I had to cut ties with someone very recently. It was so odd, we were great friends, probably best friends, and suddenly she just stopped contacting me or responding. I had to phone her mum to find out if she was alright.
Turns out she had decided to cut ties with everyone she knows "in real life" in order to dedicate 100% of her time with her online friends.
So on one hand I was relieved. I hadn't done anything wrong, and physically she was alright. But on the other I was pretty angry, as I assume anyone else would.
I'm still trying to put her behind me and move on, but it's tough. Best of luck to anyone else in similar situations.

hey dodie....Thanks for something like this. I would cry but all I feel is numb right now...I don't know maybe I cried too much already for her...But thanks, you rock

haha funny story. currently going through this situation at a young age with somebody who i feel absolutely in love with. i held in and suppressed for soo long and one day lost it and began sobbing in the bathroom stall. so ya its pretty lit.

Your actually amazing I’m going to watch this 10 times a day from now on 🎉🎉

There will be a day where you can say you're ok and mean it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I'm openly writing this after roughly 10 months since a very dear friend cut ties with me. This came to be as I was the one with intense feelings (which I recognised early one weren't necessarily healthy; very mess) and he wanted to start a new chapter given we're going (are now in) to university. In part of that change, he encouraged me to go seek professional help : I've had a struggle with mental health and was in a culture that had traditional views about it.

I'll be honest, I still do have a special part of him in my heart. I didn't take this goodbye well at first, I was very immature, somewhat disrespectful by trying to reach out, and recognised I was going through the 5 stages of grief. Ultimately, this was the best for me and he has every right to have made this decision.

Given my low self-worth and kinda 'man up' attitude, a majority of the time I was either suppressing or burying myself in the perceived guilt that 'I've ruined his life, I was too much, and honestly who would stay I'm a monster'.

Wasn't within the last month that I had a wake up call: that he didn't hate me, and ultimately he cut ties because he cares. That's all he's ever done and prolly ever will at this point. Plus I was finally honest with my CBT practitioner and got the root of my anguish.

Dodie telling me it will be okay is the best thing that could ever happen to me

I'm going through this and I have two "friends" and everytime I do a little mistake about somethig they make a big deal about it and become petty and it happens like all the time and they don't make it obvious that they're being mean but I can just tell and just because I'm in a lower set in maths than them dosent mean they can make fun of it and I'm going to try harder so I'm thinking about cutting ties with them and making new friends but loads of kids in my year are all drama queens so I don't even know if they'll like me but I guess you never know until you try to get to know them. But then when I try to get to know someone I have anxiety and no one ever approaches me so I think they wouldn't like me If I approached them but maybe I'm just paranoid. I just need a friend who understands me and i down to do everything together. (Except from drugs and all that bad stuff).

This was incredibly helpful
Thank you

Four months ago my best friend stopped talking to me. We got into this huge fight, and we were both in the wrong. We had so much fun together, after the fight I apologized a million times being sincere with every sorry. I told her something that was very personal, and she still continued slowly slipping away from me. I do not have any social media and she blocked me on I message. Now I don't think she will ever forgive me. She stopping to everyone in her grade including my other friends and I. She started to hang out with the grade 8's even though everyone of them hates her. (They all said they did). I can't even talk to her. But this video helped I need to let go she moved on and it is only fair if I can too. I think I am speaking for a lot of people when I say thank you so much. I found my knew best friend although I have never met her, I know her, her name is Dodie.

Woah. I found your videos today & they’ve all helped so much. I love you<3

This helped so much...thank you so much the ending made me laugh a bit

There was this girl who I was in a group of three with. We'd always hang out during school breaks including lunch breaks and she made sure we also only met up with her in our free time. She was extremely jealous and manipulative and somehow managed to destroy every good mood any of us ever had. Once, I met with the other friend without inviting her while she was on vacation and when she found out, she made it look like she was the victim and said "Look, I just want you to know I feel excluded" in the nicest way, while she had just been on two separate week-long vacations with the other friend. Although she literally constantly made us feel bad if we were happy about anything not involving her, by either telling us about her superior achievements or making us feel guilty because she hadn't done it, I didn't immediately realise something was wrong with our relationship. It was just how she was, a negative person. There were small moments like when she called me sexist for liking turtles or told me to choke for not understanding that by "we don't need to go there" she meant "if I am your friend, you go there with me", when she revealed personal information like my sexuality or my psychologist's results that she had forced me to tell her " because we are friends and friends do that" to complete strangers or cut off every conversation that didn't focus on her by either forcing empathy or pretending to be an expert and own the one real truth that invalidates all other opinions in the least appropriate situations. But she was always very careful not to cross a certain line too often, so that I'd doubt she was anything other than a good friend. It worked until me and the other friend went on a school trip without her (which wasn't our choice but we still avoided talking to her about it because our joy upset her). We befriended a girl from that group and finally felt free to complain about all these situations we had just accepted before and the other girl just asked us "Then why are you friends with her?" We didn't know. We were so caught up in our bubble that we didn't realise how bad it all sounded until we told someone new and we also had stories we hadn't told each other because they had become so normal. Then there was the Christmas party which I attended with her because we were in a club without the other friend, which by the way didn't bother her at all, where she put her head on my lap and made me uncomfortable in front of everyone and when I tried moving away she said, again, "friends do that". (She had previously made an approach at both of us and wanted a relationship, which we declined.) We stayed friends with her until Valentine's when she first told us she hates the day and how bad and commercialised it was and how ridiculous the other friend was for saying "it's also about friendship" then got angry because we didn't buy her a flower in our school and got angry again after not receiving one after we had asked her whether she wanted one to which her response was "no".
Long story short, we chose to write a letter out of fear we wouldn't manage to withstand her manipulation in a conversation. I even made a mind map of things we wanted to say. To be honest, at that time we didn't do it for her but I really wish she will learn how to have a real friendship one day. The worst part of it all was when we handed her the letter after school and she looked happy and said thank you. I felt like I was betraying her.
But I reminded myself why this friendship was toxic, how we had learned to keep anything we were happy about to ourselves and I looked at everything that had happened on the mind map. Honestly, I don't think I could have done it without my friend. She wrote the letter with me, came home with me after we handed it over so we could comfort each other and answer her phone call together and helped me not back out and take it all back.
And now I am happy with that decision and whenever I see her, I don't pity her but I get angry for all the time she didn't let me be happy and I feel like that's progress (although it can be hard because we have a common friend group).
If you are in a similar situation, please realise that friendships can be toxic and they can be bad. There is no excuse for someone to make you feel down or guilty everything you meet them. If you think about cutting someone out, not because it's easier than confronting your problems, but because they don't want to listen, do it. You are not anybody's punching bag and if they didn't listen the first twenty times you told them you felt uncomfortable, they probably won't. Stay safe!

i haven’t “cut ties” per se, we still interact quite often. but the fact that i didn’t cry watching this, gives me some hope. even though it still hurts like hell.

My friends all left me and it was not too bad untill my best friend just stopped interacting with me. And while we weren't dating, she was a really important part of my life for over 12 years
It's been a bit over 2 years. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even realize how much this impacted me. I still have dreams that we're friends and I can't bring myself to take down pictures of us I have on my walls.
And it's stupid cause it shouldn't be like this, friendships fade away all the time so why am I still hurting so much?

I have 2 main friends. One of which I liked. The one I liked tricked me into thinking that they liked me back by mouthing the words "I love you", getting me a rose on Valentines, and a bunch more of stupid shit I fell for. It was so hard because for a year I actually thought for the first time someone liked me. I'm only 14 and I know that I will have many more chances at relationships but since I'm transgender it's much harder to believe that. Anyway, I had to cut ties with that person I liked when I found out they asked someone else out to prom(we never were in a "relationship"). So that was fucking difficult..lets move onto my next closest friend. The next one is a toxic friend, they're always bringing me down and never wants to talk to me except whenever they are not in a good mood and needs someone to talk to (which ends up being me). Its pretty much a one-sided friendship but they're my only other friend. I've been considering cutting ties with them too for a couple of months but it's so freaking hard when they are my last actual friend and i have no one else to go for, not even my family because my parents are extremely strict and not good with having conversations and my siblings just wouldn't know what to say. I don't know what to do because cutting ties with the first person was hard enough being (for the most part) alone and my only other "friend" being constantly rude and annoying. I'm trying desperately to find other friends so that leaving my second them isn't as hard. This is incredibly long, thank you to anyone who could've possibly read and understood the mess of my emotions I wrote here.

I wish I could tell you how much this helped. :')

I’ve known and felt so much love for this guy for almost 8 years, although we’ve never met in person.
Skype call after Skype call, we became closer than ever in the beginning of our friendship. Up until maybe two years ago, he began to not speak to me. No calling, no texting, he unfollowed me on Facebook and Instagram as well as snapchat. He didn’t tell me why, and I still have no clue.
Fast forward to last summer, we talked on Skype every night until early in the morning for a week straight. We laughed and caught each other up on what happened during the time we didn’t talk, but, like before, he dropped all conversation with me without a reason. Still to this day, I have a habit of blaming myself for maybe saying the wrong thing and drove him off, but I also know that I’m not the one at fault.
It’s so incredibly hard. All my friends I need to forget about him and move on because I deserve better, but it hurts. I truly thought we had a connection, which he even said he felt that way multiple times.
Every once and a while I get a sharp pain in my chest because something will remind me of him. I can’t help but wonder if that happens to him too.
Thank you, dodie, for this video. I’ll be sure to come back to it whenever I need to.

this video helped a lot. I really want to manage to let a person go in my life for the better.

Just last night I had a meltdown about the first guy I ever felt this way about. I haven't felt this way towards ANYONE before and he meant the absolute world to me. This came up right when I needed it. I believe so much in closure and I believe that's why I need for me to feel at least a tiny bit better but he doesn't want to talk about it. It's been about a month and a half since the split and we have never talked about it. We already act like we were never in a relationship and he already has his new life and me as well so I can't really bring it up. I just don't know what to do. I just feel like cutting him off completely will heal something that could've been healed with closure.

I’m not sure why this video has resurfaced during a time where I need it most, but it’s a sign, and I’m going to try. I’ve been asking how to do this, and dodie, thank you.

tysm dodie. i recently broke up with my bf (around 4 weeks ago) b/c i finally saw the toxicity in the relationship. we're only friends now but i wanna cut him off of good one day. i feel free from him, but im looking forward to being more free.

I really needed this, thank you ❤️

Thank you, this has helped me so much. I was friends with this group of about 8 people and when they stopped talking to me it hurt. Now thanks to you, I think I will be able to cope a bit more. Thank you

This video made me cry but it’s helping me do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to

I cut ties with a friend who was around while I was still growing. We met freshman year of uni and she was a big part of me becoming me but the last semester of junior year till even today we drifted. I was becoming less and less a part of her life and felt like I was one the fringe of it instead of the circle where I once was. I guess I started to notice when she would invite friends to her condo and not me. I thought maybe it was my fault, that maybe I wasn't reaching out enough but I would invite her to places and suddenly she'd be too busy even though the entire week she was always out doing things. I never told her how I felt but I wrote a letter that perhaps one day I will give to her. I felt sad but also like I didn't lose her because she wasn't a big part of my life anymore anyway and so her not being in it didn't feel different and I think thats huge. Idk no one is gonna read this comment anyway but if cutting people off is as easy as it was for me they probably dont deserve your love anymore.

I needed this a lot now tbh. I have a very unstable mental health and I recently broke up with my boyfriend because it turns out he lead me on the whole time and didn't want a girlfriend. I miss him a lot because he helped me a great deal with my mental health and it hurts a lot that it ended and he can't be there for me. Thank u for this dodie , I have now u followed him and all his friends on social media and deleted all our pictures and I already feel better for doing it x

I DIDNT EVEN FINISH THE VIDEO YET AND I WANNA CRY. I HONESTLY NEEDED THIS SO MUCH

I cried through this whole video😂

Okay here's my story...

I previously have watched this like 40 times back when I broke up with my ex and it helped but that was before I realized I was bi or kinda came out to my self and then my friends. (Not yet parents) (keep in mind) long story short ... my best friend which I love more than life itself has moved away. And I would tell her everything we would fight our depression together and tell each other super personal things like DP stuff and therapy sessions almost with each other. And I grew to almost fancying her and it felt wrong but then I did and had a crush and over a year fell head over heels for her. She truly felt like my soulmate. And she dosnt know that I'm hurting and so if I block her because I want to move on she will be confused. Because the reason in blocking her is so I can move on. And my support group is HER so I'm stuck and I cant tell my parents that I'm silently suffering because they would kick me out seems like it by the way they talk. So I'm scared and stuck and worried


Please halp a gal out

i took this advice and i feel much better :) thank you!

What worked for me was realising I wasn't the one with the problem, or rather reminding myself. No contact helped a lot.

I could watch this video a 100 times and it would still helps me a 100 times uwu

I doubt you’ll see this comment cause this an older vid lol but this video helped me a year ago to cut ties with a really toxic friend and overall lead to me getting emotional help so thank you dodie !

Thank you for making this. At the moment I am trying to come up with a way to tell my somewhat girlfriend that I want to break ties. Yet I am afraid of how she will take it and react to it as she has a habit of self harming. I don't want to feel responsible for her suffering but being with her is severely affecting me mental state and I'm not happy with her anymore. If any of you have advice please respond as soon as you can, but if you don't that's fine. I'm sorry this is way too long.

I recently cut ties with a close friend of mine. After watching this video, it made me realize how many times I checked her instagram to try to prove to myself that she life was terrible because we weren't friends anymore. She is now unfollowed and I am moving on. This vid helped a lot

a very close friend of mine posted a post on her instagram about me, (she has over 900 followers), saying how i was toxic. i confronted her about it in a rude manner, as she had insulted me multiple times and left the comments on, so even more people could tell me how bad of a friend i was. she had blocked me on all accounts before she made this post, not wanting me to see it. it was my best friend who screenshotted it and sent it to me. after i told her how fucking hurtful this was, as i thought our friendship was going well, she told me 'you weren't even supposed to see it.' and didnt even try to talk it out with me, to see if i could somehow clean up my act. she once again blocked me, and about an hour after this, she messaged me saying 'sorry.' and i was, obviously, really upset still, and told her how i felt, and she called me 'cold' and 'constantly rude' and then blocked my phone number. she's still talking to a bunch of my closest friends and commenting on their posts ect. and i can barely look at their profiles. this girl used to be my girlfriend, and had never told me that anything i did or said bothered her, and i'm still so fucking upset about it.

this was basically just another side of the story.
please, if you think someone is toxic, tell them why and how they could improve. it really hurts when you dont know you're toxic.

i'm sorry, i just really had to get it out of my system.

I came back to this video cause I just broke with my boyfriend, it was the first and we really hurt each other while we were together. Funny thing, it hasn't been that hard for me to get over, at least, no since we broke up for good, I mean, we broke up a couple weeks ago, but we did still chat and we meet sometimes, now it's completely over, we don't talk or see each other anymore. What I try to say it's that things will get better and I try to remember that everyday, when it hurts, when it doesn't, when I talk about that with my friends, when I'm alone remembering everything. It will be fine and we'll get through this.

I needed this today. I didn't when you posted it, but I do now, and I wanted you to know (if you ever look at comments on old videos, which I assume you don't really, because my gosh there's a lot of them) that this is a good, helpful video. And also, when you asked at the end if I was crying right now - I had totally just grabbed a tissue to wipe away whatever was welling up, so... stop being so psychic :P

Watching Dodie videos is self care

This video is nearly a year old but I’ve just found it and fUCK I love it. So much. It’s helped me realise that I’m doing the right thing in cutting off my best friend of five years.
Ever since this girl and I became friends, she would subtly manipulate me into doing what she wanted. I had to only socialise with her, never anyone else. If I tried to socialise with someone else, she’d whisper poison into my ears and make up loads of reasons why they were an awful person, and I should stop hanging out with them.
I lost all my friends because of her and she used that to make me feel grateful to her for being the only person that stayed.
She tried to make me break up with my boyfriend (this was nearly four years ago now and we’re still together so that didn’t work lmao) because he was supposedly ‘possessive’ and taking me away from her. Then when it didn’t work, it was actually ME at fault, ME who was the root cause of her depression, and ME who was now the bane of her existence. Shortly after all of that, I reached out to her because I heard she was going through financial trouble (we were only 16 and I thought this was really fucked up and I cared about her SO MUCH). I helped her out and everything went back to ‘normal’. She was nice again for a few months but then she started getting controlling, making me fall out with all my new friends, encouraging me to fail my exams just so I would be in the same position as her, and just downright treating me like I was some kind of possession of hers...
I realised that this was unhealthy and distanced myself. I can’t go on like this; I’ve got my own life to live.
She realised what I was doing and posted loads of nasty, spiteful stuff about me online for her internet friends to read. It’s all lies but holy fuck it hurt.
However, it just proved to me that I’m right to do what I’m doing. So I removed her on all my social media.
I miss the good parts of our friendship but I’m better off this way.

Wahey I’ve typed way too long a paragraph here so that’s all folks.

The worst part of cutting ties (losing a friendship in my case) is wanting to go back to them. Sometimes all I want is to run back into that toxic relationship because it's familiar but I have to remember that they were bad for me. I have to realize that I'm so much better without them, but it's hard to not want to go to them and just spill all the things that have happened since I cut ties with them.

You have no idea how bad i needed this video ❤️

I needed this. I really did. Somehow i came across this video of yours and im glad i clicked. I am also glad you made it. Thank you(:

Its silly because I like my pain. I crave for sorrow and want to feel bad. I dont want to let go. I still love her. I dont want to forget the way she communicated, her dislikes, her personality and the way it rubbed onto me. I see her every day. Not really of course, but figuratively; I see her in stupid symbolic things like choclate milk and spiders, airports, yellow sweaters and golden brown curly locks. I see her in everything that I do, and every choice that I make. And I keep seeing people talk about how they don't need their exes, and how they're so much better off without them, and how their past relationships do not define them. But I do need her, and I'm not better off without her, and she does- or did- define me. She is all that I am. I could blame it on myself, and I do, but I know deep, deep down that I did everything to keep her in my grasp. I tried, I tried so hard and god it fucked me up so bad but it was worth it. It would have been worth it. She stopped giving me anything but replies without emotion and no effort at all. The most ironoc thing is that she doesn't care. Anymore, at least. It makes me wonder if she ever loved me at all. She told me that she had never been good with words, but I was, so I supposed it would add up. I guess it didn't. I had asked her 'What are we?' for countless of times, but everytime she told me that she didn't understand, and it had become clear after months of torture that she had decided that our relationship was over. She had decided that a long time ago. And sometimes I get mad because that decision wasn't hers to make. It shouldn't have been her, it should have been us. Not that I wouldn't have let her leave me if she said she wanted to, its just that she didn't even tell me. She was ready, she was done, but I was not. I'm not done yet. And sure I've tried to relight the 'flame' but I always knew that it didn't make sense. There was no reason to do it, it was useless and stupid and dumb and sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I wouldn't have met her. If I would have just shut up and not even try to talk to her. I loved her so much and I loved her so quickly, and I never thought it would end. When it did, I vowed myself to never love again.

It feels like you've read my mind and you're talking right to me!

This one definitely isn't as serious as the other ones

But I needed this video to cut a streamer out of my life they were super toxic to me and I was just done with them :(

I told my teacher who’s only like 7 years older than me about so much stress and stuff to do with my gender, which I’d never really told anyone. Plus she helped me with so much, helped me tell my friends and family and she felt so comforting. I got kind of attached to her I think, I found her on facebook and she’s just fantastic. Now I’ve finished school and I’m not going to see her again I feel kinda cold. Even if I wasn’t in love with her I just wish I could stay friends with her. What’s worse is I could technically still go into school one day next week and see her, but I already gave her a bottle of wine and a card as we had our last chat. But when the school term ends and she isn’t there I’m scared for how I’ll feel

Ive had 2 good friends cut me off (at different stages of my life) out of nowhere with no explanation, including an ex partner who i was best friends with, and i have never felt so much pain

I AM crying but i dont have any friends to cry to$:

TRIGGER WARNING I wish I had this two years ago! there's a cutting ties lesson if you want to read this. my friend had really bad depression to the point that they would keep me up until three in the morning contemplating suicide while I tried to convince them not to. after a while, it got to the point where I couldn't focus on what I needed to, like school or my OWN emotions, and they would confess to me that they kept a blade in their locker at school or they would text me about "I think I'm going to do it tonight. just know it wasn't your fault" or something like that. after WEEKS of my family telling me I was acting different and my sister talked to me about cutting ties with them, I texted them one day. looking back on it, it was really aggressive and probably not the best to text them if they were having a bad day, but I had been DONE with them taking advantage of me and my emotions so, I told them to wake up and stop hurting people. it was really drawn out and lasted two hours but that's about the summary of it. I had cried and worried for weeks afterward, but they had stopped and it was SO MUCH EASIER to get through the day without having to worry over them. before we cut ties, it felt like they were beating me down with a sledge hammer, EVERY DAY! we're alright now, though I don't talk to them unless but we still go to the same school, so I know that they're okay. the thing is, you cannot be afraid to do it. if this person is toxic and beating you down, you HAVE to stop poisoning yourself. this person had changed the way I lived, changed my personality so it revolved around them. me and this person agreed that I needed time, and they backed off after a while. slowly, you will start to get better. it might not be immediately, but don't give up! healing takes time, and you don't want to mess with that process

i always let toxic people stay in my life, because i don't know how to let go of people

this helped me a lot thank you doodie <33

I did not regret watching this video. Thank you! It helped a lot

Recently, a very close best friend, who was like a sister to me, cut ties with me through a letter. She avoided me for months prior and I really tried my best reaching out, but she just disappeared. A couple months after, I'm still in the dark, lost, not knowing what the real reason was for her burning the bridge between us. I had a feeling that it was an incoming thing, considering that I have been a bad person the past year, but it still hurts so much. Now, I have no one to talk to when I see memes that I think she would relate to, or listen to songs that she likes, and I feel completely lost. I want to talk to my therapist about it, but as of the moment I can't.

JESUS I can't believe you've made a video about this because I really needed a video like this so much right now :(

I know this is from a year ago but I really needed this tonight. Thank you dodie

ive watched this video a year ago and since then i was able to get over someone who seemed to be haunting me for the rest of my life and this click of the video and having it in the back of my head probably helped thankyou so much i bet u can imagine a year ago i myself had a uncomfortably long comment with excuses but now i realise that i did it YAY

Dodie is so good at advice and is so nice and truthful.

I freaking love your voice.. Also I cannot stop watching your videos you're so lovely <3

What if this person is genuinely the only person outside of family that makes you feel is worth being alive for? What do you do then?

This dosent even apply for romantic relationships, I had a strong platonic relationship with an online friend once. Being friends with her was causing problems with my mother and I, I was constantly checking and holding my phone waiting for her to text back, i began ignoring my real life best friends friends for her. In the end she understood we needed to part and I said my goodbyes. Hopefully one day we can meet and I can apologize for leaving our friendship.

The guy I like told me he liked me and then just told me there would never be anything between us and said he thinks of me as a sister if anything. Thanks dodes.💛

I cut off ties with TWO of my bestest friends about a month ago and I still can't get over it, they made me feel bad about myself but I love them both, we used to be the bestest of friends but things went downhill. They were my only two best friends I trusted everything with. I just checked their social medias and yeah it is harder now, but thank you for your advice. I'm all alone now because well you see, I cut off all their friends as well because we would talk all together. I feel as if that was a dick move, I didn't even say anything. I don't want to go back but I feel like it, it hurts honestly. I won't be going back to them because I know it was a toxic friendship, we argued just about everyday. Oh well, I'll get through it, I hope.

Oh jeez I watched this video just after I cut ties with someone and they did the same to me.

Get ready for a bit of a vent/rant

So a friend of mine (I might even go as far as to call her my best friend) had an argument about something close to 4 months ago. She told me she was fine, but that ended up being a lie. Keep in mind this was at the end of the school year, as this fact is important. In around June, right after school got out she started being very aloof with me and not really answering my texts. I did ask her if I did something, or if there was a problem, but she always said no and brushed it off as the stress of her moving or just being busy. After a while I started to pick up on the fact that she was lying as she was with mutual friends of mine all the time and having an apparent blast. I told her how I felt, and described that I felt that I was being lied to, and that she was hurting my feelings greatly. She ended up going off on me about something I said during the argument that I didn’t mean in the least. It wasn’t very hurtful and it was something that I still believe she needs to get over. She told me that she has no desire to ever speak to me again and she ended up wishing me the best, telling me I was wasting my time trying to fix this issue and leaving me very hurt. I attempted 3 more times to fix this problem and every time she ignored me or told me she was too busy again. In the end I decided that this was ridiculous to be so upset over such a little issue and tried to deal with it once and for all. She read it, blocked me, and had her mother text me to leave her alone and that all this drama was worthless. I feel awful knowing that this “drama” was from me trying to fix a problem in a friendship I deeply cared about. Afterwards I blocked her on everything, deleted all photos of her, untagged myself from photos containing her and removed myself from all group chats with her in them. I still don’t know if it was the right decision but I really do miss our friendship and still cherish all the fun times we had together.


Sorry for all of this lol I just haven’t really had anyone to speak to about this :/
Hope u guys understand

I've been on the other side of this, where I was the one cut off. I wasn't told WHY, just a text saying "we shouldnt do this anymore". I didn't want to force anything so I just said "ok". This was 4 years ago and I still can't seem to get over it. So if you're going to cut ties with someone PLEASE talk to them and explain eveything. It's hell not knowing why, it really is. I havent spoken to this person since that conversation but I still think about it every day?? I feel like I'm grieving a death... and I'm not sure if that's normal.

Im really glad I watched this video before cutting ties (I was already planning on it), because now that the air is cleared with this person, it's so much harder to keep from texting him, but I know that it's still for the best.

Thank you for this video I have a toxic friend so this will help a lot

honestly its so hard to cut contact with someone
i loved someone once who i confided in a lot. i wanted to sit on the floor with them with a glass of red wine and learn everything about them in one night because they were so fascinating. like how dodie says in human, i literally and figuratively wanted to pick this person up, scoop them out and learn all their secrets.
and then we got into an argument.
we had a long and angry conversation and we went back and forth telling each other that the other is an awful retched person when two nights earlier we were pouring our hearts out toward each other
skip to today, i dont talk to them. i dont think about them. i do not care about them.
once again as dodie said in her book, that someone once told her that life is like a bus and people ride the bus longer than others do and some will ride the bus for years upon years and others will ride the bus for a few days.
this person rode the bus for a few months. i wanted them to get on the bus and never hop off but life has its ways and didnt do that. after they got off, many more people have come into my life that were so much better than they were.
for anyone reading this while they’re at the point where i missed that person, you’ll be okay.

Some teas and their smells make me feel things. Like Earl Gray makes me think of my old toxic girlfriend and friends because I used to drink it all the time, and also while texting my friends/gf. And it makes me feel a little hurt, because it was awful and I finally completely stopped talking to them one day and it was all over.

But what do I do if she confronts me and asks me why I don't want to be her friend any more? I've been trying to make her leave me alone but I don't want to be mean, but then again, she's toxic to my friendships and is preventing me from from making other friends. She's super clingy and i don't know what to do. Every time she asks me why we're not as close as we used to be I just chicken out and tell her that we're still friends (but I don't want us to be)
I'm sorry if that made no sense I'm just AAAAGH

Just recently cut ties with my now ex bf. I won't go into details but long story short the relationship was just very toxic. It went on for two years, and I honestly don't know how I dealt with that for so long. It was very very hard to accept that in order for me to move on and for me and him to grow...we needed to go our separate ways. It's very difficult but sometimes you just have to be kind to yourself and do whatever it takes to be happy. for you. :)

I’m so scared I won’t be able to get over him ): it just happened today, though we knew it was coming for a long time
I’m scared and hurt, but this helped a lot. Thank you so much.

I have a bit of a sticky situation. I recently (about a month ago) got my heart broken by a guy bc he has commitment issues + just in general a really bad home life and such so a relationship would be too hard. We agreed so stay close friends, and have been doing so- and honestly it's alright

BUUUT

Only because we have agreed to try and get back together in a years time (or we may not, I know time changes people but for now that's where both of us want to be) bc idk just by next year he would have graduated and the whole situation will just be less messy

So it's really weird

Because we both still quite obviously have feelings for eachother, there's still this platonic love and compliments and "flirting" but deep down so obviously has romantic routes. It sucks bc I'm the type of person who's very committed to things, whereas he is the opposite....but this is kind of a good thing bc I'm starting to realise my fear of abandonment and such when in relationships. I'm really hoping this year is a year of personal growth to work on ourselves alone, so hopefully when we are back together it's all happy.

But I'd be lying if that's all I thought. I'm terrified he will find someone else. Or it will get to the end of the year and I will still have feelings and he won't, or we will get back together but then he will just leave me again. Who knows that's probably my (as i mentioned earlier) abandonment issues.

If anyone could have any advice or words of comfort that would be really good! Pretty much no one in my life knows what to say to me lol

I have a tip: write it down! In a journal, notebook, or even on a napkin. For me it helps if it's more like a poem, but just spill your heart out. And if this helps, tear the page. Into tiny little bits. Sometimes it's therapeutic.

If they try to talk to you, try to contact you etc do NOT respond. Last year I ended a toxic friendship and after I ended the friendship this person continued to try and contact me. They would usually just text me something like "hi" or "hey" out of the blue but I made the choice not to answer any messages from them. About 3 months later they tried to contact me the same way on snapchat but I ignored them and they haven't tried to contact me lately. I have gotten "hate" from people close to this person, even gotten called "a fucking c*nt" but you just have to ignore what others may say because you did what was right for you. It may be tempting to bash this person or be petty but trust me DON'T. By shit talking them you come across as an asshole. And if someone thinks you're an asshole the they're less likely to believe that you ended a friendship for valid reasons and not just because you're an asshole who likes hurting people.

I needed this so bad I just ended a year long relationship and its bringing up memories of other ones and im just a mess right now

Its incredible how much I needed to hear this and...my youtube feed just showed me this video and wow. I really really needed this. Thanks

the thing is,,, i've always had this almost emotional/somewhat spiritual bond with my ex who had a lot of mental health problems. there were a lot of times where i'll just be living my life and then all of a sudden i knew there was something wrong with her. i then would text her and, every single time, something would be happening. but i always helped her through it. i remember one time i ended up walking two miles all the way to her place bc i knew she was having hallucinations (she has psychosis). but ever since we broke up bc she needed to focus on her mental health i keep getting these almost physical pains i always got whenever i felt there was something wrong with her but i can't do anything about it. and it really fucking hurts knowing i can't help her. it's like watching someone you love get tortured but your mouth is glued shut and you're glued to the ground

I'm at a point where I'm doubting my decision. I'm struggling with some mental health stuff and some of my friends aren't being the best and I'm starting to doubt whether I made the decision to cut ties with this person or was I pushed in that direction.

i don't think anyone will read this but if you do, thank you

i had to cut ties with someone a few years ago because every single fucking day she would make fun of my body. she would call me too skinny and flat chested, and it really hurt and it still does. but at the time it was difficult to part with her because she lived across the street from me. thankfully, last year we moved and i haven't talked to her since. i see her at school sometimes but i just ignore her. i'm much happier now, and cutting her out of my life was the best decision i made :)

i love you, dodie. you're amazing

My friend cut ties with me this week (it was the last thing i expected) i tried to cut ties with her last year but i ended up going back to her after a few months
AND HERE'S WHY: i was part of a group of friends that was toxic, but they literally follow each other around like soldiers and if i fall out with one of them , i fall out with ALL of them. And if there's tension, the weakest link will be cut (that'll be me). So i currently have 0 friends at school and no one to talk to. I feel like im alone in the ocean. Im already over half way through secondary school so there's no way i could join another group. If ANYONE is reading this please throw me a rope
Thanks for reading xx

Dude. Ur a kick ass. Thank you for the words. Ur amazing. Love you. I really needed to hear this. ❤️

I recently cut ties with my ex who wanted to be friends after breaking up with me and the only reason she wanted to be friends with me was because to her I was a back up plan. I soon became tired of her hardly being there for me and I knew I had to move on while being with my current boyfriend. I also grew tired of always growing feelings back for her..

every single of her videos are so comforting both for my mind and body especially her voice, does anyone knows what microphone she use?

Your voice and words are soft and considerate. This has definitely helped so many people

I'm also going through this with someone, I have decided recently that it is better for me and my mental state to just forget them. I'm still at the part where I just want to talk to them about how I'm feeling and about how I miss them and it hurts me so much to not talk to them but they just don't care anymore, especially seeing as this person used to be the one I cried too and tried to make me laugh whenever i was sad and gave me hugs. It's been about 3 months since we last spoke

Thanks for this! I'm still talking to my ex pretty abusive boyfriend. I know he's bad, but I still in a way want him. I'm really going to try to make things better for me. I need to realize he's not good in my life.

“If you’re crying right now keep crying”





single tear drops


😂😂😓

I had (or rather had) a friend who would talk to me all the time, and we would tell each other shit we’d never tell anyone else. However, a lot of the time if I wanted to go somewhere other than the cinema he’d conveniently ‘forget’, which I believed.
Three months ago we started at the same college, and he’d started to make other friends (which didn’t bother me because it’s his life and our schedules didn’t meet up during the day so we only shared one lunch together). He’d then organise going out with his friends, and in the time since we’ve started college he’s probably gone more places with them than he ever had with me and he the way he acts around them is so much more open and I feel,,, hurt.
I brought up the fact that he ignored me most of the time in favour of other people a month ago and he basically said that I was jealous and never said another word since. I guess he just outgrew me as soon as someone better came along rather than trying to stay my friend, despite all the effort I tried to put in these past 6 months to make sure we saw each other at l e a s t once a month but he couldn’t have given any less of a shit about it.

Aw, I'm still getting over a best friend who absolutely put me out of her life last year and I'm still getting over her 😫

This was the most helpful thing I think I’ve ever heard. You are better than my therapist

Saw you on Anna Akana's channel and watched this video at the right time! Thanks Dodie. I appreciate your advice.

I love you, I wish I knew you in real life. I know you’ve got a lot of admirers, but I really feel like we’re close even though we’ve never talked. you’re such a beautiful person all around, I really needed to hear this. ): I hope someday I can meet you

Came back to this video as I need to cut ties with a guy who friendzoned me, and I know I don't owe him anything to be friends with him. It hurts, as I want him to change his mind eventually but I know I will be torturing myself with thoughts like that and holding onto false hope. And I know I can't be just friends with him right now, and I have to let myself heal before I can think more logically about whether I actually want him as just a friend.
I've been told to take it as a compliment that he values my friendship more than just being "friends with benefits", but it still hurts as we got to that place in the first place.
Any advice would be great right now.

My friend and I decided to cut ties with one of our friends because she prioritized her relationship with her girlfriend over her friends. It took us so long to make this decision of cutting ties but we did it and we've both been crying and venting to each other because we be can both relate to what's happened and how our friend didn't even really care about us leaving her or that her relationship with her girlfriend is taking over her life and how her girlfriend acted towards me and my friend. I really wish I didn't feel this way after doing this but I do and I feel it's better for me and my friend that we cut her off but it's also made me feel angry and upset just knowing that she's okay while we're completely broken.

"This video has really helped me realize that you can't just get over it in a day it takes a while so I sent the link to my friend so that she understands it's okay to cry and vent about it."

That's it. Stay strong. Quit the Dark side of the Force now. I needed that talk. It's great. But it never healed properly in my case.

I'm crying so hard knowing he will be gone forever but i know it's for our own good both of us.
I'm having difficult time knowing what do i want I've been recently diagnosed with BPD and sever depression and i just can't handle this relationship right now and so does he, that what hurts the most.
Thank you for this video , you're so sweet. ❤️❤️

This really helped me. Thank you.

This was exactly what I needed. Thank you. So much. ily.

This video helped me a lot with this ex friend of mine. She left me and my really good friend Tori. I took it hard and I would tell this girl how I felt. She didn't seem to care what I said. She became a completely different person. And I miss her because she is not her at all.

Edit: she came back for a while but guess what, she is being really rude to me sooo came back to this vid lol.

Edit: hey so another one of my best friends just left me out of the blue. She means a lot to me and she blocked me on her cell and on her snap story. I asked her if she did and she was like noooo 😢 I rly don’t know what to do she was literally my (2nd) bestfriend and we had so much fun together we even went to Hershey Park together. I don’t know why she all of a sudden she just hates me please help

if anyone sees this that's going through a breakup or a tough falling out with a friend or whatever it is, know that it it will all be okay and you can be happy without this person and you will be happy without this person! have a good day/night

For the past couple months I've been telling my best friend that she had been kind of ignoring me for the past..forever. She said she'd try to pay more attention to me but she never did. So I started ignoring her and only then she noticed.

She then shut down into 'only speak of spoken to' mode and I kind of... stopped speaking to her. There were a bunch of other things that went wrong also- she made me feel awkward, depressed, she lied to me and then lied about not lying, and ultimately, over the period of time that I stopped talking to her, I realized I hated most things about her. Her personality, mannerisms, how she obsessed over things at an unhealthy level, and how she had no regard for personal hygiene. And she's been texting me wanting us to be friends again but I have to realize, that even through all of our fake good times, she was toxic. She still is.

Regarding your video- I don't want it to hurt. Not because I don't want to feel pain, I just don't want to feel pain for HER. She doesn't deserve my time, tears, and most certainly does not deserve my brains wandering thoughts about what was or what could be. But I do under the message that you tried to convey in your video.

So, thank you dodie. You always bring up the important issues.
Kisses! XOXO 😉 ❤️

I was in a toxic relationship not romantic but a friendship and because of them I'm kinda terrified of having social media with people I know. These tips would've helped me back back then but back then I had no healthy relationships so

we broke up because we both need to focus on ourselves and grow as people, and we couldn't manage doing that and also being together. this pain feels so debilitating, I can't focus on anything. I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive my day to day life without him. I know it's for the best, but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it right now. thank you for this dodie :)

what if the cutting ties part isnt mutual??? what if only one person wants to get out???
you should make a video about the situation then dodie....

This isn't a new video but it's been helping me a lot. My girlfriend left me and she said she does not have any feelings for me anymore. And that hurts more than I could have ever imagined. All the beautiful memories hurt. All the I love yous hurt. I really wanted her in my future, in my life, and I do love her. I love her still. And right now, it feels like I always feel. But I lived a beautiful relationship, and I don't regret that. I just wish it would've lasted a little longer. Bottom line, thank you for this Dodie. Thank you.

I keep coming back to this video. I’ve really needed this since the beginning of this year

I feel like having that "end goal" is so good but also it makes me feel like I'm kinda pretending the relationship never happened... say if I wanna look at one video of us together. Idk. It hurts though. That's all I know.

you're the sweetest little flower this video is so helpful thank u!!!

question: if the person you want to cut ties with is your father and you've already talked stuff through last year and given him another fucking chance because the talk we had a few months after that was great and I felt loved for the first time but that was the only time and he hasn't been much of a father figure since; I don't have to talk with him again do I? It will only make me fall back into the trap of staying in contact and end up hurt. He's pretty manipulative and lies about things that all my family members that lived with me and him agree on: he's been emotionally and physically abusive.
anyway great video, it's an important topic to talk about

I’m not sure why I am sharing this but here we gooooo, about 2 years ago I cut off a toxic friend but still went to the same school as them for about a year. I thought I did the right things but I think I have realised that I didn’t. I didn’t give her many reasons but I felt like she didn’t deserve them. My point is I now I find just being friends with someone really hard. I know there are some messed up things in my brain and it’s not all from this one experience with this one person however, I feel like I am worthless if someone I am friends with is better than me at one thing. This is stupid and I find it really hard to deal with but I think it comes from this old toxic friend always pitting us against each other and thinking that she always had to be smarter, prettier and more popular. I know this isn’t the most relevant to the video but I felt like I needed to share. Any advice on how to better my mindset on my self worth around my friends?

I cannot tell you how much I have watched this video and I still can't get over this guy and I think I really need help

currently going through a rough time with my relationship. i have a strong feeling we’re going to break up.
but i’m not crying.
i don’t feel like crying.
i feel like if it’s not going to get better, why stay with it. when we do breakup (will happen at some time) i know we’ll both find someone who we’ll be with forever.

Needed this now. I'm crying but thanks. <3

Had to refer back to this because of multiple friends saying that they didn't like me anymore. Thank you, Dodie. 💖

I cut my best friend out of my life around 2 years ago because she was very toxic, but in the process I lost all of my friends as they had all fallen into her toxic trap (dramatic lol) and ultimately I was seen as the bad friend and that is what they tell people. This person made my struggles with depression and anxiety even more of a struggle with me and the only reason I could think to keep them in my life was so I would not be lonely; and although now a big weight has been taken off of me I now have no one.
My anxiety has become worse now and I can't bring myself to let others in as the one time I had after this friend they did the exact same thing to me.
I don't want to look back on my teen years and have no memories other than of being in my room alone, but I'm almost 18 now and I can't seem to figure things out. Dodie, you make me feel like I have someone and that means so much to me; I seen you live in Dublin this Wednesday and I cried so much because you've done so much for me and to be there for you was the most amazing feeling I have ever felt. Thank you so much Dodie, you mean the world to me x ( wasn't planning on writing this much but now I'm here crying whoopsss)

This is so true. Could be applied to friends also

Everyone: cutting ties with an ex

Me: cuts ties from my toxic mother 😐

what if the toxic reltaionship is with your parents?

For those of us who do not always have access to other people for whatever reason, writing or processing in your own way (eg. drawing, reading, etc) may be helpful, too.

I just found this video after my shit show of a weekend. I have a massive crush on one of my best friends, and have done for around 2 years. Except, I told a friend of mine, which I now regret, and she told him. Obviously, I got rejected. She posted my rejection to the group chat too. Not only have I been rejected but humiliated this weekend. I’ve no one to talk to as the group chat that found out don’t care, and my best mate is the one I confessed too. I just need time to heal, and had nowhere to vent, so, here we are. I just feel a gaping hole in my chest, like numbness. It’s so painful, and I didn’t ever realise that being rejected hurt this much, but thanks so much for this video dodie. You made me feel ok, and like it’s all gonna be okay. Thanks :)

I used to have a friend who I didn't realise was extremely toxic until it was too late. We met in fifth grade at an after-school choir program and I thought she was a good person when I only had to deal with her for an hour-ish once a week. We both enjoyed each other's company a lot, so it's needless to say that we were super excited when we found out we would both be attending the same middle school and then going to high school together. I was so excited to introduce her to my group of friends when we started sixth grade, and it somehow took me a while to realise that the rest of my friends really did not like this girl. For some reason, I was unable to pick up on how controlling, manipulative, and unable to compramise in any way, shape, or form this girl was, while the rest of my friends who had only known her for a few weeks were able to see it instantly.

I feel so stupid for not seeing the warning signs sooner, especially because of how the whole situation hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I used to be a competitive figure skater, so the sport obviously monopolized most of my free time. I was scheduled to go to sleepaway camp with this "friend" for a week, but I ended up giving up my registration for that week to go to the State Games of America. It was a pretty big deal to qualify for the State Games, considering it meant that I was one of the best skaters in New Jersey at my level. I messaged my "friend" about two weeks before we were supposed to go to camp to let her know that I wouldn't be there, and that was when it all started to go downhill. She texted me back about an hour later with "what the fuck why," so I told her that I was going to be out of the state that week, of course to which she replied demanding my reason for traveling from New Jersey all the way to Michigan for a week. I told her that I had a skating competition there, and she flipped out. She replied with "What the fuck Val why would you do this you know how much I've been looking foward to camp with you I can't believe you let your stupid skating get in the way of our friendship. " I was fine, really, it totally wasn't like I spent seven years of my life working my ass off on something I loved doing and had a passion for to the point where I would sacrifice spending time with my own family to go skate and practice and compete and perform and have the time of my life, just for someone I considered a close friend to shoot me through the heart with a flaming arrow just because I chose to go to a nationwide competition that I only qualified for once in seven years instead of spend a week with her in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of people I've never met before. That was a year ago and it still fucking stings to think about it. I thought we were friends, and then she went and stabbed me in the back and insulted the only thing that made me unique and different than everybody else.

We didn't talk for the rest of the summer. We get our schedules for the new school year, and lo and behold, we have 5 classes together. We avoided each other for the whole first three days, and then we were in the library for our English class and I commented on how I noticed that she had gotten her braces off. That was a mistake, since she took that as an invitation to come in and ruin my life all over again.

Fast foward to this past June. It's the eighth grade dance at a nightclub sort of place that the school had rented out for the whole evening. There were about 200 or so kids there. My "friend" had apparently spent the first hour-ish of the party sitting by herself on her phone, and then ended up leaving early in tears for what seemed like no reason. I didn't know about this until the next day, since I was busy having fun with my actual friends. The next day at school she seems really upset, so I ask her what's bothering her. No response. 4 classes later, we're walking to class and she says "I need to talk to you. Now." and proceeds to blame me for her not having fun at the dance. Her exact words were "Why were you avoiding me last night?... You didn't even bother to invite me over to dance with you... You could've at least texted me to ask if I was okay... Did you even notice I was gone?" I'm sorry, but sweetheart, if you ever end up finding this comment, you need to understand that you can't blame me for your lack of social skills. Also, you need to know that there were over 200 kids in that building at that time, so there was no way for me to realise you had left. Third of all, it seemed more like you were the one avoiding me since you spent the short amount of time you were there huddled in the corner staring at your phone with your headphones on whenever I happened to catch a glimpse of you.

Anyway, this "friend" told me that she is supposedly going to "leave me alone all summer." I honestly couldn't give less of a single fuck about her "leaving me alone," since I'm not really alone. I have plenty of other friends who actually are supportive of me and my passions, and actually are capable of understanding that it's not okay to latch onto someone and try to control whatever they do and hope they don't get tired of you. I unfollowed her on all of our social media, and I even took the extra step to block her on all of them, even the ones where I knew her username even though she didn't know mine just to make sure that she can never message me and try to ruin my life a third time.

The first time she hurt me, it took a long time to decide to give her a second chance. It was more painful than that one time I broke my arm the night before I was supposed to compete. To be completely honest, it completely changed how I felt about the sport. It gave the whole thing a sort of negative connotation and left me honestly scared to cancel plans or turn down invitations to hang out with my friends because of skating. All it took were those few texts and my whole outlook on something I was proud of and that made me confident and happy was flipped upside-down.

I never should have given her that second chance. I'm honestly glad that I'm cutting her out of my life for good.

I don’t know, whether this video still applies to me but last year my best friend and I broke up and it hurt me so so much. I went through a period of deep confusion and emotion and I don’t know what was happening but in the end I decided it was too hard for me to stay friends with her. I think I blame her but she’s always been there for me and she didn’t mean to hurt me. In the end I think I was at fault, not her but I still blame her and that makes me a bad person. I don’t know if I or she did anything wrong and all my other friends are still friends with her so it just makes me feel worse

i'm cutting ties with my best friend who ghosted me during one of the most difficult moments of my life and when i wrote her a long text explaining exactly how her ignoring me (but keeping contact with everyone else) has made me feel- she wrote back saying she was depressed and doesn't want her friendship to end and that she will always be there for me but can't tell me when she can reply to my messages again (which is so hypocritical - i don't understand) Reading her text made me feel bad and I told her I would wait until she was ready to talk but after a while I thought about it and I didn't understand why I was trying to make her feel better when she hurt me to begin with- so I immediately unfriended her and unfollowed her on all my social media platforms but I still have so many pictures of us together and have so many urges to tell her about my day or something. I spilled all of my personal problems to her because I trusted her and she made me feel so much better but all of a sudden out of the blue she would not respond to me anymore and I just want a reliable best friend who will always be there for me, you know? I thought we would be friends forever, but clearly she made better ones and forgot all about me


btw thank you so much dodie- this really helped me and encouraged me to keep on moving on <3 ily

My best friend had a crush on and talks to (daily) a guy that has done and does do unhealthy, awful things (to himself and to others). After much back-and-forth, I’ve told her that my comfort is no longer important and that she should take time away from me to decide what she’s comfortable with, since she’s the one that may end up in a relationship with this toxic person. If she interprets that as me making her choose between myself and the boy that makes her happy, I’ve told her that I’m a shitty friend that doesn’t deserve her anyway. I’m muting her for a week. No more, no less. After that, she can say whatever the hell she wants. Now we wait.

I really really needed this. Thank you.

thank you 😭 dodie thank you that was what I needed! And you are so pretty 😭

Prettyyyyy late to find this video lmao but...

I'm considering cutting ties with someone who is kinda drifting away from me and my other friends. In a miss understanding, I thought this person blocked me. I started bawling, and I felt a giant weight have been lifted off my shoulders. I knew that it was a sign that maybe it was time to stop. Turns out they didn't block me (I kinda wish they did in a way which is a red flag). So I think I'm going to have to sit down and talk to her about it.

To anyone else going through any situation like this, I wish you the best of luck and happiness. I know you can get through it. I believe in you. <3333

what do you do when you live in a small town and the person is supposedly a "best friend" (cause she thinks she is) but we dont have nothing in common anymore, just a group of "friends" (who haven't talk to me in years, just when we bump on the street or they invite to a casual bday party) and years of school memories? i dont know what to do but she's not the person i knew anymore and thats fine, people change, but now she's kind of toxic to me.....
i need to get more friends cause holy shit i might have only 3 that save, and in thise 3 i have 1 that i trust entirely
i think im not very good at living (anxiety and shyness keep me from it)

I wish I came back to this video when my ex dumped me a few hours before New Years. I've moved on from it now, but I know this would've helped me so much

its been almost two months since I've been apart from my ex, due to complications we could only give closure about three weeks ago. There were a few further complications after, where we contacted each other and he stopped and I obviously got upset, he then realised I had been on his social media and did quite a mean thing but I've decided to just let it go, thats when I blocked him on everything. I felt so proud, but since then its felt like my heart has broken again and again, I also gave in at one point and I think I may have found out that theres another girl starting to take a rise. It hurts, but I know now that I really want to move on because staying where I am is only making things worse. Today I can say has been the worst I've felt since we broke up, and I'm hoping theres sun at the end of this storm.

No video has or will ever bring me as much comfort as this one.

That was the most precious thing could listen thank you 😊 ( Brasil love ya )

dont drink too much alcohol before dodie uploads a kinda sad video, kids. it'll make u even more emo than usual

I’m on the verge of ending a 17 year friendship with a girl I class as my own sister !! Others tell me walk away but it’s not easy it’s destroying me as she can be an amazing person but also very cold I know she is toxic and I’m doing wrong by talking to her still but I hurt so much I can’t describe it

I had to cut ties with my ex-boyfriend after I broke up with him, he'd been kinda emotionally abusive and then he became depressed which only made him worse. But he was still in love with me after we broke up, so he started stalking me on facebook. He liked every post I'd ever made since I joined, and started joining groups that I was a part of even if they didn't interest him at all. I ended up blocking him and telling him to back off, which made him angry and probably hurt him, but in the end, it helped both of us. We're good friends now and are able to spend time with one another, so yes, cutting ties help a lot some times.

I have this one friend who has been getting into partying, vaping, alcohol, and “hooking up” with other people, and I’m not sure if I should still be around her. Ever since grade four or five we were really close and we trusted each other and we would tell each other A LOT of our private thoughts. She was one of my closest friends. She was also like this social butterfly and she had a lot of energy and half the boys in my grade liked her. She was never mean to anyone and was never mean to me, although of course we could be a little annoying to each other at times. She always went to me if she wanted to get out of a situation and needed advice or felt bored or uncomfortable during recess while people were in groups talking. We were pretty close, like I said before. Then all of a sudden she started to talk about these boys who would text her and ask her for “pictures” of herself (you know what I’m talking about), boys who wanted to “hook up” with her, some of her friends outside of school that drank or vaped, and started listening to all this weird rap music that I don’t think she listened to before (although music tastes can change, I get it). These much sketchier girls at my school started hanging around her and talking to her more often and trying to involve her in their gross conversations and trying to get her to tell them private stuff about her social life and blah. I got a little worried, so I was like, “okay, don’t vecome sketchy!” and it was kind of a joke. Then she would ask me for my advice and have to keep thinking about it and kept asking me about it. This one guy that she kind of liked but not really because clearly he was an f boy wanted to “hook up” with her, and she didn’t know whether to say yes or no. I said, “I think it’s best if you say no. If you have to ask someone else’s opinion about this and you’re feeling doubts about it then definitely don’t do it. Also, you’re like 13! Slow down!! Just my opinion.” She and the boy we’re close friends for a long time though. ANYWAY, time passed, and she eventually did not do it. I went away for schooling in a different country for 3 months, and I heard from my other really close friend that my friend was chasing boys around during recess, got a really jerky boyfriend for a week and then broke up with him, dared people to kiss, threw a Halloween party and let people bring alcohol, vape and tried to hook up with my friends brother. Maybe All this happened because I wasn’t there?? Idk. I just feel like I kind of “mom” her, and most of the time it works out, but she just doesn’t take my advice. We haven’t texted each other in a little while now and I’m still in the other country, and I don’t really know how she’s doing. Now none of the boys really like her, even though that’s not really important. She used to be like this innocent fun loving happy person, but now she has the reputation of a sketchy party kid or something. I’m sorry this was so long and so roughly written, but my question is, should I cut ties with her?? I don’t miss her as much as I thought I would... and I think we might just be burdens to each other. I’ve tried to not get her into trouble even when she did, I tried. Soooo...? Maybe strangers on the internet can tell me what to do?? Idk but thanks for reading this whole darn thing 😂

ive been friends w someone for 8 years and they just ditched me i dont know what to do i love her so much but she keeps telling me that im horrible im not good enough we have had many fights so now were not friends and im getting over her its hard yes but i will get through it ik i can

Do you think it's necessary to cut ties if you're in love with your best friend but they said that it would never happen and you're not right for each other? I still like being his friend and being his friend isn't necessarily hurting me, but it's just making me very confused and a little sad

It is ten months after this video came out, and it at this time applies to me. My boyfriend has lied to me, a big lie. And he does not care for me like I do for him. He has hurt me many times. I broke up with him about three weeks ago and it just keeps hurting. I am here for advice. I love everyone around me and it helps. I am trying to love myself. But I see him every day in school and it is so upsetting. I miss him. I miss being in a relationship. I’m trying so hard to get out of this loop.

It wasn't until she said "you might be crying right now" that I realized how badly this actually hurts. It's going to be hard, but I know it's for the best. This really freaking sucks!! A LOT!! But I know that I'm stronger than this pain and hurt. I will get through it, and it's all going to be for the best.

I'm not crying, I'm sweating through my eyes

this video is old but i love it. i had to leave a really close friend because they were toxic for me and it really hurts. i want to forget about them and im just torturing myself everytime i check their social media. i need to stop but its hard. we were so close and one day i felt like my whole world came crashing down. i had to leave them because they lied to me and picked on me but i let them do it. and thats the part that sucks. even though this is a lot for me, ever since i left my "friend," nothing can stop me. i feel so much better and i dont have to worry about them. theres a part of me that cares but i need to forget and move on.

i think writing this out really helped me to see what i want to do. thank the lord for this video and for such a great community that i can share my thoughts with <3

i'm becoming close friends with my ex.

she broke my heart into thousands of pieces and i was literally close to suicide. i don't know why us being closer feels better than being apart, but it does.
i'm so confused ??

All my friends stopped talking to me because i was a toxic person. Its was hard because it was so sudden and i see them everyday in my class, highschool makes this incredibly hard, but i know i had to stop talking to them because i will continue to hurt them and they will continue to hurt me.

I watched this when it came out and now I’m watching this when it’s actually happening and I’m losing someone bc she’s choosing people over me and I’m a hurt thing

I need to vent, so here I am:
I'm in love with my best friend she knows, I confessed to her 4 months ago and it was fine, she said she didn't feel the same and I thought wasn't too crushed but I was. I recently texted her
'goodnight I love you' as a friendly reminder that people care about her because she struggles with depression and she said she was uncomfortable with saying I love you even though I had said on multiple occasions that (actual quote from my message) "I don't mean it romantically btw
I liked you but that doesn't mean I would do something like that
It would be childish and shallow" she keeps thinking everything I say is romantic. Turns out she now has a girlfriend. She deals with major depressive disorder and she refused to get help I would feel guilty about leaving her but i don't want to spend another minute getting discusteed looks from her and getting shamed for normal things.
I feel like I ruined our friendship, should I cut ties? Forever?

To get over someone: try your hardest to tell yourself that is over. That's the first big step. Reality check. This works with getting over a straight person, too. Especially.

What if you are alone? What if you honestly don't have anybody to talk to and don't have friends?

I love her so much, she’s like a drug I can’t withdraw from, I feel like I can never love another girl as much as her, or even look at another girl the way I look at her. She showed me happiness, love, she picked me up, she gave me life, she gave me hope, and once I stood up, she dropped me, and now I feel like I can never stand up again. I watch her hopelessly as she moves on with life, happily like nothing, like we were nothing. Like everything she ever said to me meant nothing. Am I not good enough? Am I worthless? Am I incapable of being loved? She said she fell for me, she said she fell for me but she can’t have me, she said we can’t be together because of my religion, because of my beliefs, because of my broken family and the fact that her parents wouldn’t accept me. Is that love? I told her I would sacrifice everything for her and fight through anything to be with her and face anything, because that’s what you do for people you love, but she said she can’t take the risk of being with me if it’s not a 100% that we will end in happily ever after. She didn’t even give me a chance. I have the most pure intentions for this girl in my heart, I wanted to give her everything and do anything for her, make her the happiest girl in the world. She picked me up and threw me down. I feel broken, I feel empty, worthless, I wanna talk to her but I can’t anymore because there is nothing to talk about, it hurts me every time I see her, I don’t know if I’ll ever be fine again, like she took a part of me.

I know I’m late to the party, but you have no idea how much I needed to see this. I’m literally crying.I don’t know if you’ll see this, but thank you so much

I had to leave a friend not too long ago. I did the same thing a year ago until I went back to them. Never again will I do that. This is the time I cut ties off and leave it that way. I still have trouble admitting I was emotionally abused and once my brain admitted this and I stopped lying to myself nothing really bad was going on I felt this immense anger I had bottled up for years. I was as patient as I could possibly be the whole time. I’m surprised with myself at how I allowed myself to be treated in such a way. I’m having a hard time getting over my friendship. I think of it everyday. The anger has faded though and now I’m just kinda sad. I forgive her though. I always will forgive her no matter how she manipulated me. I’ll never let her know what she’s done. But now I’m able to go and do what I want and I feel free you know. I’m lighter. I’m happier and I have hope

This video is so fantastic but it makes me cry everyyyyyyy time :(

I recently cut ties with me (ex) best friend because she was making me feel horrible and bad about myself but now I have some of the best friends and even though I literally cried for a day I'm in the happiest place I could be is so to everyone who's going through this it will get better

Found this so late but its exactly what I needed right now <3 thankyou so much

I couldn’t finish this video but I forced myself to do that ... yeah I’m over the cries and the grief because my tears dried up .. I got over her but people around me keep asking me about what happened assuming that I did something wrong to her because she spread rumors and I chose to stay silent in respect to the friendship we had.. my grades used to go up like 98 out of 100 but now it’s starting to go lower ... I never missed any school day but now I at least miss 1 day of school per week ... I barely sleep and I get black under eyes so often that I think it became permanent... every time I see her I try to avoid her ...she doesn't care and even tries to walk beside me so she can show me that I'm a lonely person... I have no friends that I can speak to ... she was my only friend but all she did is make me feel embarrassed that I had no friends.. she told me that I was scared of being alone which is kind of true ... the nightmare that I was running from had caught up with me and wrapped me into its darkest whole ... I hate that she is happy after what she had done to me .. how can she forget what she had done? ... I’m speechless... I’m surrounded by eyes and glares that haunt me through the night... their whispers pierce my ears as they talk about me... their looks that shreds my pride into pieces... I am no longer the same person I was... I am not worthy of living anymore...



So why am I not dead by now ?

I want to get over this girl. She never really did do anything wrong, but she had told me that she doesn't feel the same way about me. I don't want to keep hurting myself over this girl but I also don't want to just cut off contact with her completely because we have an alright friendship and my life has just about completely revolved around her for the past couple months. This made me feel a bit better, re-watching some of your videos always make things feel alright~

I feel so weird watching this video because earlier today was internally debating on whether to cut ties with this friend who's done nothing friend like recently

Okay but I really really needed this rn. A week ago I was broken up with and today would of been our 1 year. It hurts but it’s good to see things from her view. I was given no closure, nothing. That was it.

If you need to, forgive. It helps. But make sure you are ready, it will probably take a while ❤️

I'm crying now😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭it's so painful but I'm trying, and it IS getting better. Know that you're not alone.

One thing to add is to forgive yourself if you slip up. But don't feel like it's better to be in the storm/mess, remember if you fall down 7 times you have to get up 8 times. Lastly one other thing that helped me is not to be consumed by the hate and the anger it's alright to feel angry but it's more helpful if you let the anger 'clean the cut out' and use self-love to heal it. As Whitney Houston once said "learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all". It will be a lot easier to heal if you are kind to yourself rather than being angry <3

i thought you were actually cutting real manly ties and talking about how to get over someone but i am pleasantly surprised and very wrong

after breaking up with my ex after being on and off since may, i really needed this video. i don’t think that i will ever stop loving her. but we’re both gonna wait until the pair of us are better until we talk again. it just hurts the most because she was my first everything&the only person that promised me that they wouldn’t leave. but she did. i still love her and i never will stop. it’s gonna kill me to know that she’s moved on with someone else, but it’s for the best. i hope and pray that our paths meet again one day and we date forever because i genuinely think that she is the one. if you wanna talk or become friends my snapchat is michaela.swales

I know this video was a while ago and no one is going to read this but this might help you in step 3, having an end goal. You were in a toxic relationship. You would of had to end it at one point. Don't hold on to them because eventually you are going to realize again that you have to cut ties, and it will hurt more the second time. I hope this (even though it's barely anything) helped someone. Bye bye!

I'm just about to breakup with my gf this helps so much thanks Dodie

ily dodie. glad i still have this saved.

I have a problem. One of my closest friends is in a lower grade than me. I know a lot of people in every grade. She (the bff) said that these two girls were Extremely mean to her. starting crazy, hurtful rumors, ignoring her, stuff like that. (She also asked me to not tell the people being mean that she told me they did that) The girls are my friends, but we're not that close. I can sort of imagine them being mean, but it's hard. Should I just cut ties with the girls I'm not that close with, because I do trust the other, closer, friend, or should I talk to the two girls about if they did that my bff said they did?

I would have done this if I watched this a few months back. But looking at my life now, I would say I didn't make a completely bad decision for sticking around. Me and my (former) boyfriend broke up officially and we had one or two days off without any contact with each other, yet when it came to closure it was all really good. We are really good friends now! But I do feel that yearning and longing sometimes. I guess I just have to deal with it and let it go when I'm ready.

some friends aren't worth keeping but that's ok sometimes you have to let go 🌹

I watched this in a time of need coincidentally the same time you posted it and I became friends with one of them again and now things are starting to be how they were before I cut ties/they said extremely rude things to me so here I am again...

Okay so almost two years ago, i received a birthday present from someone that I no longer talk to for various personal reason and it's coming up to my birthday and I still have this present and I need advice on what to do as the gift reminds me of how good things were between us back then and then I'm reminded of how different things are now and it still hurts me to look at said gift. Any advice ? Update: almost a whole 24 hours later, I now know what i should do about it. Thank you for the vid Dodie, this is one that I come back to when something's happened or when I have a big social decision to make ❤

It took me a loooonggg time to break up with & get over my ex because I was scared, I didn't have ANY close friends that I could go to and complain or hang out and have fun, but in the end its all worth it, I'm so much happier now.
Even so, I loved this video so muchhh...

What if you have a toxic sibling? I have a twin sister who makes my life really difficult. Sometimes I kind of like her, but then she’ll go and attack everything about me, and she takes all her insecurities out on me. I used to want to help her, but it’s like she doesn’t even want it. In the end she makes me feel awful about myself. She knows what she’s doing, and eventually I end up attacking back, and it’s just an awful cycle that’s been going on for years. How would I even cut her out of my life? We’ve tried to talk it out before, but it never lasts. Because we’re twins we always end up ‘sharing’ friends, which upsets me even more because it means I have to hang out with her more. I don’t remember the last time I talked to my friends one on one, because we are always together. We go to the same schools, live in the same house, ride the same bus. Sometimes we try to hang out but it ends up with both of us wanting to kill each other; there’s no escape. I don’t know what to do anymore. This relationship has been messing with my life since I was fourteen.

Thank you so so much Dodie.. ❤️

its cruel & funny, how at the date this video was upload & seen by me i was like "man, sounds so hard & difficult, I can never even imagine myself passing for that with the love of my life, I don't wanna do that... in fact i'm not gonna do it causes that is not going to happen" y felt sad and cold... but distant from it.


...now, july 2017, after almost 2 months since break-up, youtube poped this again & man... wow, so much wisdom (hard wisdom, the kind that seem even "Not possible"), so much harsh & tuff & cold in reality that how it was in the thinking...


...sorry for the long comment, im just in a bad day, where i've been feeling that "its not possible" it hurts more than it should, but this gave me hope, cause some of those steps has already been walked, so... thank you, in days like these, you just want to feel listen & understood by someone else and you did that for me.

Cuddles.

I love dialogue and I learned a few months ago that that’s the best way of fixing problems, specially emotional ones with people but the thing is, my so called friends are making me feel really bad right now, putting me down emotionally and one of them is being physically aggressive for the past weeks and I just can’t talk to them cause when I try they just laugh. I really think it’s because they are males and were taught to not be emotional so when they are hurt they just repress it, but that’s just not how I work. I think i’m gonna just slowly disappear from their lives cause I can’t take it anymore, it’s been like this for over a year. I know writing all of this in a youtube section isn’t the best thing I could have done about it but I really don’t trust a single person and I haven’t been to the therapist for so long now. Sorry about that.

I have 2 friends. 1 of them is very toxic to me.. I just don't know if I can't live without him but I can't live with him too.. This is hard

i watch this everyday to become stronger but doddie can you make an updated version

I’m really lost right now. In my situation, I’ve had a crush for months, but she never knew I liked her, and I just wanted a relationship. She’s not really with me on a “spiritual level” though. She believes in things I don’t, which will become a major issue in the future, so I decided to not even ask her out. I just stepped back because it wasn’t meant to be, and I can’t deal with that. I’m trying to find a way for this video to apply to me but all the tips will leave her confused, like “why did he unfollow me?” She isn’t even toxic and she isn’t aware I had feelings so there’s no way I can cope with this without accidentally hurting HER. I need help please!! <3

the thing about closure is crucial. really. i didn’t get closure. when my best friend and the person who made me believe they loved me, which made me love them, texted me late at night and told me that he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. that he hated me. without the closure i needed to move on with this and just let it go like he was suggesting, i kept trying to talk about it. it resulted in me getting more hurt each time.

"You have plenty of friends"
NOPE.

You are so good at giving advice like agh i wish i was as knowledgeable as you gawd

how come have i just discovered this video nor how much didn't I realise that i need this even after hearing the same advice many times 😭

Ohh myy godddd!.. I've literally done all those procedures already ... But still was feeling kind of guilty cuz he at last actually texted 'your wish' when I texted that last closure message... I thought I am gonna regret it..as it's my decision on whole.. I cried for 2 days straight..but this video clarified everything... It was not my decision.. it was SITUATIONAL.. where he & his toxicity was absolutely involved..making me feel bizarre about myself for 3 years straight! Too much! I did the right thing.. even tho I'm sobbing RN.. but now IK.. I'll heal even if it'll take months.. Thank you so much for such amazing video & all the other persons in comment section for sharing your anecdotes... Every little word was too supportive..❤️

Dose anyone else do this when im not around him i would just say get over him but when i see him i just fucking get excited

Thank you dodie

i just dropped one of my friends that I've been friends with got years and i needed this video thank you so much

i tried following all the advices and put in a mindset to be able to deal with the situation i'm going trough, i just want to let this go somewhere cause sadly i don't have anyone right now to listen to me, i'm sorry if it gets too sad.
this year i came to a new school cause i was having problems in the old one, i really thought that the one i'm at right now would be a lot better and that i would have a lot of new healthy friendships, but i was wrong. i've met three girls and at first it was really nice, they were nice to me and they seemed to like me, i was so so happy cause at the time i was cutting ties with another toxic friendship and i felt like these girls were a good thing in my life. after 3 months it started to feel different, it was little details like ending sitting with someone i don't even talk to cause they didn't remember to save a place for me in class or just watching something in their phones and not showing me unless i asked to, it got me really upset but i kept going cause i was so depressed at the time that even if they were mean to me i'd take it cause i was completely alone.
the thing got worse, there was times when they answered to my messages being rude and i told them to not talk to me like that cause i was being nice with them, but they told me that it was just me, that they weren't being rude or anything, ofc they didn't apologise for making me feel bad or having that interpretation of their texts even if it wasn't their intention, i mean why would they apologise for a misunderstanding when it's better to say it's my fault yknow.
so, it got worse. i remember one day that one of the girls had to go home to pick up her lunch and it's really close to school so we went there with her, but then the other 2 girls wanted to left and don't wait for her. of course i was, idk mad? cause we were supposed to wait for her and they wanted to left, so i waited there alone and when she came back she apparently told the other two girls to leave. at this point i was really mad cause they were being so unnecessary rude and it got me so upset that they didn't really care abt her to not wait just 5 minutes and leave even if she told her to do so. after that we went to get our food and when we finished eating i got up to go buy ice cream, and when i came back they told me that they wanted to talk w me. they said there were things they didn't like abt me, that i get mad abt everything so easily and things like that. i still think abt this to this day cause i can't believe they really punished me for being just nice and wanting them to be like that with me too and to not exclude me from their stuff, for just wanted them to be EDUCATED and at least wave their fucking hands when we're saying goodbye, they don't even do that.
i've decided to get them out of my life today cause it's getting too toxic, i discovered that they had/have a group chat and they've talked shit abt me several times, today was the birthday of one of them and she didn't invited me but the other 2 girls went, i was even afraid of asking if she was going to do something cause i knew she was capable of excluding me to that level, i even didn't went to school last tuesday cause i we had a fight and i was so hurt and sad that i started crying before getting out of the car and it's even worse when i KNOW she doesn't care abt me, she doesn't cry or gets sad when we fight cause she likes to do all those things to me and i hate her for that.
idk how to end this but it's late and im tired, sorry if this isn't well redacted or something english is not my first language and i don't want to check up if i misspelled something cause i might cry lol. also, sorry for doing this so long

I'm doing that right now with two people...it's so difficult because you always recognise their lack of presence, and at the same time you always feel bad for prioritising them over others...it hurts so badly

I'm in love with someone who I've been with for 3 years. I'm so in love with him, but he's hurt me so many times and I always forgive him, always. He claims he loves me too, but I know deep down he doesn't, but stupid me fell in love with a horrible person. Thank you so much for this video. 😢💖

God this is exactly what i needed thank you

how come it seems like sometimes boys can get over or push over a relationship or a girl or a situation so easily???

As soon as she said: " if you are crying, keeo crying." I just started to sob, tbh

I recently cut ties cause basically a friend I knew wouldn't forgive me for my past mistakes, like they had hurt me hard too, but I decided to forgive them, cause I really wanted things to work out for us, but basically down the line they told me they could never forgive me for what I did. So I knew they weren't healthy for me cause that's not what friends do to each other and it still hurts cause I really cared for them, but it was toxic and unhealthy.

So i haven’t told anyone else this cos I’m young and embarrassed about it and don’t normally talk to my friends about this and definitely not my family but I need to tell someone. So there was this girl I kind of met on holiday and for some strange reason I felt connected to her. I think it’s because she reminded me of another girl I loved when I was like 11 haha. That girl was the closest thing I’ve ever had to a girlfriend. The reason I’m finding it so hard to get over her is because I barely met her (we spoke like a few times). I knew her first name and before I even heard her talk I had that unexplainable connection that I couldn’t suppress. Anyway, afternoon few days, I left without saying goodbye, without any contact and just a memory of what she looked like and the certainty that we’re never gonna meet again. I like to think she liked me but who knows I guess. I just wish it turned out differently, like somehow I’d found an excuse to have a proper conversation or found out a contact detail so I could keep in contact at least until I got over her. Any help would be appreciated because I’m not used to this. I’ve barely ever talked to girls so never experienced anything like this before and I need someone’s advice or just someone to read this and reply would make it better.

My best friend has slowly been distancing themselves from me and I’ve finally realised that they don’t want to be friends anymore. It hurts so much because this person was the closest friend I’ve ever had and it just sucks. I only have a small amount of friends, so I just feel so isolated, but this helps knowing that I won’t feel like this forever and I’m doing the best thing possible

Today, my boyfriend was suposed to come back from a party so that we could go see a movie since tonight and tomorrow is our 3 years anniversary. He just came home, it's 22:00 , he stayed 5 minutes and then went away because he's high as fuck and told me he "just don't want to talk " to me right know. I'm at home, crying, because during the week he works, and during the week end he's taking drugs with his friends . I've lost all my friends and they don"t answer my calls because I was busy trying to save my couple. Yay, i'm alone, and everytime i try to cut ties with my bf, I end up getting back with him because i'm scared of being alone.

So I had this friend and in this story we are calling her Holly.

So I met Holly in kindergarten along with her friend Skylar(skylar is still my friend). I can't remember much of Holly being my friend in kindergarten through fourth grade because she was the shy kid in elementary school also she wasn't in my classes. But then in our last year of elementary school in fifth grade we got closer. Even though it wasn't that long ago I can't remember because it's replaced with sadness. Holly was still shy in fifth grade but I had known her better now (even though at the time I didn't realize it was anxiety bc it wasn't a thing to me). That summer when we were going to middle school, Holly and I were basically inseparable. We hung out nearly every day and we talked on FaceTime when she went home. School starts. Holly and I only have one class together but that's fine, I have other friends, she has other friends. Everything was fine and dandy. In about January/February Holly kind of drifted away for a bit which made me really sad because we talked a the time and now she barely talked to me. But it's fine it's all fine she started talking to me again and now it was back to fine and dandy. We were best friends we told each other nearly everything. Holly was sort of a "bad" influence I guess you could say. She kissed boys, I thought no one should have a boyfriend at this age. But I wasn't in school one day and the next day at school I found out that she had moved. My best friend. The one Who told me everything. Gone. Without a sound. Without a goodbye. I was devastated. I was so confused. She had told me they always thought of moving but this was two months before she moved. No other information until school had ended. After school had ended I found out that she didn't move and they had just recently put their house on the market. So she really just didn't finish the rest of the school year for unknown reasons (i suspect that she was suspended). Also I was left with being depressed for about a month. So yay.

I really needed this, thank you.

for those of us who don't have friends, it can help to talk to a supportive family member (if there is one), or maybe a counselor, teacher, a priest? or if you just don't wanna talk, you could write it all down. it really helps clear your mind. also focus on the things that you love, be it music, art, cooking, sports, movies, whatever it may be. utilize these feelings to create/achieve something wonderful. and most importantly, remember to take care of yourself! i know you may feel like sleeping all day and may be nauseous at the thought of food, but your body will thank you. eat a warm meal, take a shower, go for a walk, do some stretching, organize your space, go shopping! whatever might help make you feel like yourself again. best of luck!!

I broke up with my ex because he was so dependent on me for his own happiness. He needed me to be happy. In a way,he kinda subconsciously blamed me every time he wasn’t happy. And we loved each other a lot. He was my first love. I poured a year and almost 5 months of myself into that relationship and I had to cut it off. I broke up with him just last week. And I know this video was made awhile ago,I watched it when I had to cut ties with my best friend and I’ve just come back to it. And it really does help to hear someone say “it’s gonna take time,but it’s gonna get better”. Breakups are tough. Even if you’re the one who ended it sometimes. But you just have to deal and try and move on.

Dodie is the best pep talker ever

We broke up so sudden. I loved him for 8 years and we were together for 6years. This video is so therapeutic

you're amazing, dodie

I cut ties with my best friend and I find myself wishing she was still my friend everyday. I always find myself trying to text her then realising we don't talk while hovering over the send button, but I know my current friends are so much better for me

it's an old video, but exactly what I needed rn. thank you. ♥

this video really helped me. thank you so much!<3

last year was a cutting ties year as I found out a lot of unfaithful bitches in my social group, I just felt nauseous whenever I saw them, I am quite sick of it. Thanks Dodie for being mentor to us 💞💞💞,not much youtubers care about their followers. Dodie is truly one of a kind.

I'm watching this video almost every night at the moment. Just got broken up with... I know it's for the best, and I need it, but I'm hurting so much

a few months ago i started to develop a friendship with a boy and we quickly became best friends. he ended up leading me on for almost 2 months, and i am in so much pain. the fact that someone flirted with me and made me feel good and lovable and then walked right out. i put so much time and care into this person, and all i got in return was heartbreak. i feel used. i feel insecure. i'm afraid i'll never be loved again. i'm afraid he never loved me to begin with. i'm regretful for being so kind and for letting this person hurt me. i just want this pain to go away. i hope one day i can come back to this comment and feel relieved that the pain is gone

I know this is an old video but felt like commenting anyway. This video made me think, not cry. Thinking about a person I love a lot but don't know in what way I love her but I know she only likes me as a good friend.
For anyone reading this, got any tips for stuff like this?.
When you don't really wanna cut ties with someone that does respect your feelings, still is well.. there (at times..college is a bitch) and has helped you through depression yet has hurt you in some way... Known this person for 5years, she's been a great friend. ~Loony

Why am I crying? I have not even cut ties with anyone!!! I just cry so much. I am sorry. That was such a nice video. (I loved that Russian actsent at the end) I say as a sob my little heart out!

I just came back to this video after cutting ties with a really loved friend ... Because I'm in such pain and i need some Dodie

“if you’re crying right now, keep crying.”
me, in public, putting on sunglasses: send help

im doing this bc i feel like it might help even though the situation isn’t the same, basically me and my best friend of 3 years just drifted apart. we talked non stop and we’re inseparable, but when we joined high school we went down separate paths (him swim me band) I had quit swim for a little to do band but when marching season was over he just started completely ignoring me, he had got a new gf but i dont to believe that is why since he had gfs before. i tried a few times to get back to how we were but he always is dry or doesn’t carry out the convo. now I have to see him all the time since I joined swim again and it used to be fun but now it’s different. idk why but it hurts so bad that we don’t talk at all anymore, I don’t know what to do. i feel like crying every time someone bring him up. but my other best friend doesn’t get it when I try to tell her abt it, no one understands, or maybe they do and I’m the one in the shadows. i really just don’t want to let go, but it might be for the best. we just never really ended things.

I was broken up with recently, And I've actually done most of the things said in this video, but I'm actually terrified I'll run into my ex.

You just told me the things I needed to hear

how do you deal with getting over someone you're still in love with? context: my boyfriend is going to uni, im staying for year 13. i hate the idea of holding him back from the whole process of growing at uni, so i want him to let go. is that even possible?

Thank you sooo mich you help me to come over my ex girlfriend

Oh lord, I'm back again to this video and I need to cut ties with a friend who's making my anxiety worse. She also has anxiety and it is so triggering for me. Its making me feel worse about my job and life when I talk with her, its so negative and I NEED positivity for my mental health

I wish I had friends as smart as you but most people are stupid and immature at 15

K, so I need a bit of help.
About three or four years ago, I met this girl online who was about two years older than me. At first we just chatted every once in a while, but eventually we grew closer and started talking more. I know she's around my age because we have voice chatted and video chatted, and I can tell she's a tween. The thing is, even though we claim we're best friends, I feel like we're not that close. We have shared a couple moments, and we do know each other pretty well, but I feel uncomfortable talking to her about certain subjects that I'm comfortable to talking about with my other friends (like religion, sexuality, touchy things like that) that aren't my "best friends." I don't like to start conversations in general sometimes with her because she never lets me leave. Sometimes I'm forced to stay up to 2 or 3 am just to keep talking. I love her and sometimes she makes me laugh, but she's just really controlling and sometimes manipulative. She's not really sympathetic either, and when I tell her that I'm depressed or upset, she just says "K?" I have brought up that she's not that sympathetic to her once, and her reply was "Please don't leave, I don't want to lose another friend," which I just... I don't know how to reply to. I always assure her that we're friends, but she seems to doubt it. She says she doesn't have any friends irl, and also has anxiety, depression, and I think asbergers, so I feel guilty whenever I say I'm busy and can't talk. She's actually really funny and smart, and she's always on when I message her. She's also stood up for me and protected me, but other times she just teases me with no mercy. I just feel like she needs me more than I need her, and that if I leave, that she'll feel hopeless.
So is this toxic, or am I being a jerk?

I think I've been toxic to a really close friend. And we ended the friendship. It hurts so fucking much until now. But I'm full of remorse. I'm deeply sorry. I don't know what to do.

I know I need to cut ties with my main friendship group. It's really difficult but ik it's for the best. They make me sad and hurt a lot more than they make me feel happy

my ex best friend and i were really really close in such a short amount of time. closer than ive ever been with anyone. i loved her. she loved me. we eventually started drifting apart and i could see that and it hurt so bad to watch her slip through my fingertips. we kept getting into fights. she meant so much to me and it was so scary to think that we were actually fighting. we kept betraying my trust and i did that to her too. she went behind my back and i loved her. she replaced me. i did the same to her because i thought it would be the only way to make myself feel better. we decided to not talk to each other anymore, and it worked for a while. and then she messaged me saying she wanted to fix things again. we did and it worked for a little bit. until the cycle repeated itself over and over. i kept getting hurt and hurting her in return. i felt like i deserved every bit of hurt i was feeling. two days ago we cut ties again. i miss her, but this is for the best and i know it's right

but what if this person is always with your healthy freinds and you see them everyday

Honestly, as someone who's struggling with self-discipline, I've got to say this sound like great life advice in general. Thx for that dodes

Mixed issues. I have a group of friends. One of them I've fallen madly in love with. We are never going to happen and there's not a day i dont think about the person. I need to let go.

our relationship was so toxic all i want to do is escape but i hurt him a lot and he doesnt want me to go

I'm not sure if you know how much this helps me, I thank you very much.

I'm trying to figure out if I need to cut ties with someone.

Thank you, I really needed this right now...

thank you Dodie. I'm doing this tomorrow. ohgoddd

I love you dodie ❤️ thank you

I was just watching a few of your videos and damn you talk about some important things and I wish I could just watch your videos all night long

Thank you so much Dodie!!

Thank you... this helped so much

feeling pretty awful at 1am and just googled this topic looking for some kind of comfort and found this video and need to vent. I met a girl on an online chat room when we were both young, this was about 9 years ago (?) and is probably the only person I ever truly had a connection with. over the years we got intimate and shared things with each other I've never shared with anyone else.

when we first started talking we were both in high school and we grew up together, we would skype everyday for hours on end answer just got closer over time. she left for university at Cambridge and I left school and got a job l. when we were younger we would always talk about the future and what we thought we would be doing in 5 or 10 years time, about how we could be together. I miss those times a lot and it fucks me up thinking about it.

when she left for university she was not in the best headspace. she was having troubles at home with family and confidence issues that she couldn't get around. I didn't understand what she was going through and I wasn't really a great friend at the time. I felt every conversation we had was dominated by her own insecurities projecting onto me. she was very introverted and I think she needed some support because she told shy to ask for it. looking back I wish i acted differently

over time we started talking less and less, during the years of her at university we would try to talk everyday but it was difficult. she was bogged down with lectures and exams and I was working a lot so we didn't have a lot of time for each other. we argued a lot when we did talk over really stupid things and we cut ties with each other a few times but we always gravitated back to the same routine we'd fallen into.

I got back from work one evening after a really bad day and wasn't in the mood to be bogged down by her problems so I spoke to her like shit, that was the last time we spoke . I still have the skype logs on my computer and read through them every once in a while as the last contact we ever had, it fucks me up knowing she was hurting and she relied on me as her only out

im 22 now. this was 3 and a half years ago and I'm still not over it. to lose the only person you regularly talk to is suffocating, I feel like any semblance of my personality has completely washed up ever since. I was never a social person and didn't make friends easily, so to lose your only friend is something I've never truly gotten over. she didn't use social media so I've never been able to contact he directly, only the names of the friends and family she told me about in conversation but it never amounts to anything.

I often go on sprees of listening to the music we used to listen to for hours on end to at least try and feel something. I leave voicemails to her old phone that have probably never been listened to. I think at a certain point I got past being angry or upset and just settled on realising I'll never speak to her again, and that I'll probably have to live with trying to be ok with that. I just hope she's happy now whatever she's doing, even if it's not with me

I'm going to cry myself to sleep now, later

Okay. Ive had to cut ties with 2 people. One of them stalked me because they loved me. The other i had known for 11 years and they started to bully my best friend.

It took so long. One of them threatened to kill themselves if I cut off ties with them. The other started to shit talk me.

For a few seconds I thought this video was going to be about literally cutting ties what am I doing with my lifs

i just broke up with someone who i would’ve done anything for. they felt like the love of my life and i wanted to be able to stay with them forever. in my eyes they were perfect to me but in reality the relationship often made me feel sad and anxious over time. i wish things were different and i wish my mental health wasn’t awful.

my friend joe made me watch this everyday for a week 2 years ago and now theyre making me do it again HAHAHAHAH

How do i cut ties with someone whos friends with all of my best friends

This is hard because even though the way I was thinking before wasn’t good, the person was not toxic. It’s not fair to me to just stop being their friend, but it’s hard to be mentally and emotionally distant from someone I still share so much with.

how to get over some one
go to an aeronautical school
learn to fly
when you start flying you are over everyone

this is exactly what i need, thank you

My best friend sarah and me broke up and I'm really stressed about it and this helped a lot

what if you have a friend who is suicidal and is making you feel horrible by texting you things like "I want to die". what if you want to let them go because you can't take much more but, you're so scared of being alone and you don't have anyone else. what if that person is the only one you have but you just can't survive with them

you need to leave but you're too scared of being alone

what do I do then?

I recently cut ties with my old best friend. It was honestly a toxic friendship. But, when I was with her, I was friend's with her friends and for the first time I actually had a group of friends. Now, I have no idea what this next year is going to bring. If I'll even have friends. Sometimes when I hear something that makes me think of her, I really want to text her and tell her. Sometimes I want to tell her that sometimes I was only with her for the friendships she brought along. Looking back, I'm really glad we aren't friends. I'm still nervous for school, but worse case, I'll make new friends. 🙂

Thanks dodes I actually for the first tip or whatever I spaced out a bit thinking about this person bc they r a friend and when I hang out with other friends they get jealous and make me feel guilty by saying oh your hanging out with this person I say I can hang out with u and she says no I say ok after I talk to these people I wanted to talk she says why did u talk to them

Or another time when she started a conversation and asked why me and her were having this bicker and I said u started it because she started the entire conversation but then she blames it on me and I told her before you r just mad at me because you can’t handle the fact that you r wrong sometimes and she completely backs this up by saying no I am not wrong sometimes especially when WE r bickering I get mad and start getting sassy and go away then she comes over to me like nothing happened then when I am still mad she gets mad at me for not getting over something that she started and this is the only “friend” that I always get into arguments the most about the most stupid of things

I know that this is an old video, but I have recently had to cut out one of my closest friends who refuses to stop being friends with my partner's rapist. Other than this one thing, he is a great person. It's been super hard, but I just can't have him in my life.

Didn't think I'd ever have to come back to this, but I'm glad it exists lol

i just broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years, we've been together through so much and through our entire adolescence basically. i realized i do not share his feelings anymore but i love him so much as a person and my only real and best friend
i'm so scared he will cut ties and never talk to me again. i wish we would be able to be on good terms again in the future. i just cant picture my life alone but continuing the relationship would not have worked out for me (us). i made him so sad and probably devastated, i know i need to give him time to figure things out but i just miss him so much. i feel like no one else is there for me the way he was. even though i made the right decision and i wasn't an asshole about it and its not my fault in the end, i just feel so bad. i am so scared i will be alone forever now. i'm 18, trans and he is the first person that ever truly loved me and cared for me. i can't convince myself that i'll just find someone else because of my prior experience.

i want dodie to be my therapist </3

dodie eh um anjo

this is why i love you dodie xx

I know I‘m just a nobody, but thanks for your thoughts! I don‘t even know why I‘m sharing this...well I know...there are no friends who are listening and I‘m drunk at the moment...
Thank you for your last words...I can cry now...

i'd do this but i'm scared the person will kill themselves. it hurts to talk with this person but i can't live with the blame

the person i’m dealing with makes me feel sad and brings down my self esteem everyday i see her or just generally talk to her “ur a pussy” “stop being sensitive” she always makes me feel sad and brings me into dangerous situations and is a bad influence she made me smoke weed and drink she said you made me steal this but she stole it herself i wasn’t there she just brought it up and made me do it, whenever we are in a fight she brings up all the stuff that i’ve done wrong but really she’s the one who is leading me into this whenever i’m paranoid or talking about my problems she’ll bring up her own and she’ll act like i’m not there she constantly screams at me and generally makes me feel like shit so pretty much it’s impossible to fight with her and whenever we do, her mom gets involved and brings up how she cuts herself how she has adhd how she has depression makes me feel like if u stop talking to her she’ll kill herself and it’s even harder because she’s family. what do i do, should i just stop taking to her after time just become less and less her friend because if i do “break up with her” all the stuff will come out and i don’t want my parents to know all the horrible shit i’ve done. what. do. i. do. please someone respond and tell me what i should do.

Thank you so so much for this <3

Thank you :) this means a lot

I didn't realize how much I actually needed this

I tried to send this to my friend but I accidentally sent the underwear ad instead.

okay so let me tell you all a story.

So I have had this friend for around three years now, since 6th grade/year 6 and now we're going to be in 9th grade/year 9 together. We already know that we have at least two classes together as freshmen, so that doesn't really help, but this past year has been the worst year of my life while being her "best friend." She constantly talks about me behind my back and even says mean things to my face (to which she hasn't apologized for anything), rubs all of her awards in my face, thinks that she's better than me and everyone else just because she's "special," and worst of all, pretends to be my friend. She always invites my other best friend (who is the kindest, purest person I have ever met) to everything and leaves me behind. She once ignored me the entire summer because she assumed I would be busy THE ENTIRE SUMMER, when in reality, I was alone all summer. I told her and she got mad, saying that I'm playing the victim card and that she doesn't have to invite me to everything that she does. In my eighth grade year I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I can't be friends with someone as toxic as her. She acts like the most perfect girl around all of her teachers, but in reality, she is a disgusting human being. She only values herself and her one best friend who is too nice to stop being friends with her. I feel like I can't talk to anybody because my friend group is all connected, and they wouldn't appreciate me trying to cut ties because "Noooo, she's so sweet though!" because, No. She. Isn't. and it really sucks. I'm pretty much stuck in this friendship with her, because if I try to stop being friends with her, she'll spread rumors and lies about me so no one will be my friend. Just like she wants. I can't talk to her about it either, because she'll get all defensive and then she'll try to be sad and hurt so I won't not be friends with her. I've only really told one person and they agree with me, but they aren't as close of friends (even though she has also talked about said person in a negative way) and so it doesn't really affect her as much but she's willing to support me if something happens. I want to start brand new in high school, but I have no idea how and I don't know if I can keep going like this. If I cut ties with her, I risk losing almost everyone in my social life and I'm not ready to deal with that kind of isolation. Not now, or ever, really.

Thank you for reading this if you did. I needed to get some of this off of my chest.

I just broke up with a very good friend of mine that I loved so so so much. They were my pen pal and I moved to another country in a city close to them, only for a year on a scholarship which gave us a very short time to be able to meet up. It was a lucky coincidence that I could finally meet my important friend! But they refused to. So I had to let them go. My friend told me they’ll still be open to talk, they won’t block me or cut me off if I decide not to talk to them, that they’ll be there if I need them again later and it makes this even more difficult. ... it would be easier if they would be angry at me too ... But I know it’s for the best.

So I need to watch this video everyday now :’)

Thanks for it Dodie ❤️

i had a bestfriend
we've been friends for more than 10 years
we do almost everything together
we travel overseas together, we lived together for 3 years
then .. i dont know what happened we just suddenly fell apart
one morning I woke up and realize I dont have a bestfriend anymore
i dont know who started it, what started it
was it me who cut ties? was it her? i dont know
i dont know what to say when people ask me about her, we used to be always together so people got used to asking where is the other one when we are not together
but now i dont even know anything about her
it just hurts to think that the person you used to call your bestfriend, that one person who knows you more than you know yourself suddenly becomes a stranger

Okay so I guess I’m gonna rant??
So, this girl and I both liked each other so we started dating. It was perfect. Nothing could ever ruin it.
She broke up with me.
I acted like it was fine and she said she still wanted to be friends so we stayed close. So I distanced myself a little telling myself I was over her and there was nothing too it, but I only pushed it to the back of my brain. I accidentally got to close and fell for her again. We’re really close friends and I don’t want to end that. She flirts with me but I don’t know if she means it or not. Honestly, I just don’t know what to do.

that was wonderful. i am still fighting with my breakup six months ago, not because i still love him, but because he hurted me in so many ways. after only one or two weeks (or maybe just days) he got in a new relationship with a now former friend of mine who he always said that she is just his best friend and like a sister to him. And that after i was jealous of her for several months because of diffrent things and he always said the same thing. Even after the break up he dared to say to me, that i mean a lot to him and that he never cheated or lied. but considering how everything went i just can't believe that, because it is not possible that nothing happend before that between them. the only thing i regret is, that i never really told him what i really thought and now it is too late because he doesn't see his mistakes...
And i never planned to write such a long comment and turn this into a therapy, but i guess i needed to write it down. So brave you if you decided to read through this^^

I'm going through this now and it hurts so Much

im going through a breakup and i really needed this

My ex messaged me today saying she wanted to be my friend, but I know for both of us it isn’t the best thing at all. But now I feel so harsh for saying no we shouldn’t what do I do!

Realising that cutting off ties with a friend yesterday wasn't a good idea because NOW I HAVE THIS I'M THINKING THAT I DID ALL THE WRONG THINGS AHHH

I don't want to break up with him but it's something we both agreed on. After a year and half of going out I fell in love and I just can't accept that it took so long to fall in love with him and it's come to this point and it's over.

i broke up with my parter a while ago because i was in a terrible mental state. i told them that it wasn’t permanent and that i needed time to fix myself. we talked and were still friends during this time but then when i was ready to talk about our relationship it all went downhill. they played the victim in the situation and made it seem like i treated them badly when it was because of my anxiety, and we both knew that. they brought all our other friends into it and had them all come at me. anyway, i didn’t want to cut ties, but we had to. with them AND the rest of my friends. it’s a couple months later now and i was nearly over it, but now i have a class with the person that they’re currently dating and it’s gotten so much more painful. me and her are very friendly with each other but i’m constantly thinking about my old partner now and what they might say about this situation and what they do together. i wonder if they even know if been talking to their partner. and i keep thinking about all our common interests and the fact that we could really still get a long amazingly as friends (we were best friends in the past). anyway, i’m hoping i can get past this, i just wish i could still be friends with them.

What's strange is my ex is the one that introduced me to dodie and now I'm watching this, wondering if she did after she left me for someone else.

I don't know how to cut ties with my ex, seeing as though he's my best friend's brother. We still talk about him, I follow his siblings on social media, I still see him quite often. I liked him a lot, and I told him deep shit and trusted him, but he broke up with me in a letter. He made his brother (my best friend) give it to me. What a jerk. He goes from girl to girl, but somehow in my mind I still like everything about him. His hair, his voice, just him. I want him. I felt open with him. But all that's shit now. No going back because it'll just be shittier. It's impossible to cut ties, and I'm just stuck constantly feeling impaled by self hatred everytime I see him.

a have a friend who i was very close with for a long time. we didn’t fight about anything big, it was always something small that we laughed about immediately after.

that was all until i moved. our cities were close by but not close enough for me to see her as much as i’d wanted. we could no longer fight about small things, it always felt like that fight would be the end of it. that wasn’t true until i fought with her again yesterday. i said some things that i should feel bad about but i definitely don’t. she said things that hurt like hell, and she was always the only one who could hurt me as much as she always did. i came to the realization that i wasn’t happy in our friendship, i could not be happy in our friendship, and she failed to care about me until i attempted suicide . and i attempted it a lot. she never intercepted it, she never started conversations, it was always me telling her i was down again and her telling me she didn’t know what to say. over and over. she never even tried to say anything, her excuses were always that she was bad with feelings and couldn’t help me, when all i needed was for her to try.

i neglected to watch this video for a long time. i didn’t want to put this idea in my head that i needed to cut ties with anyone, when the person i needed to finish with was right there, in the body of my best friend.

i’m sending her a letter tomorrow. i can’t bear to text her because she’d 100% message back with an eye roll emoji and then something like “I DONT WANT TO TALK TO YOU”. i need to stop putting myself through a friendship that consistently includes me feeling hurt. i need to stop surrounding myself with people who keep me up at night hating myself because they said something that hurt. i need to stop letting people turn me into the enemy.

Thanks for this video , I need this right now

I had a “ friend “ we were friends since 5th since I started getting bullied I only had her and one other girl the other girl didn’t get accepted so I only had one then I met another girl and we three were “ best friends “ and she had hacked into a account I spent money on and blamed it all on someone else and also she lied to me and didn’t let me talk to the other girl because she wanted the other girl to herself keep in mind me and the other girl are way closer than she will ever be so I got mad and she started telling the other girl fake stuff about me and im taking her life away which doesn’t make any sense since I only study and talk about the work and she says im a bad friend and she also says that I don’t want to see her bad side which is referenced to riverdale and she has said that many times to another girl and she hasn’t done anything to her for a year and im talking her away from the other friend even though she dosent own her and also because I too her spot even tho we don’t have assigned seat and also she copies me and it getting annoying should i cut her off my life?

i am trying to fall out of love with my crush who is now dating one of my friends, and i dont think i have had this much hurt since i broke up with my girlfriend of 9 months.

My (now ex-) boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. We'd only been going out for 2 months, but it feels longer. I loved him, I dunno if maybe it was just platonic or if it was really romantic love, but now that the relationship is over, I've lost one of my best freinds. We used to talk about everything and I don't know what I'm going to do when he's not there. I hope we stay freinds, but I don't know if that can happen now. Going back to school in a month is going to be hard, seeing him in most of my classes will hurt. I know I'll eventually get over it, but he was my first boyfriend, and right now, it feels like I never will.

i still wonder if it was the right thing to end it with my ex but i just have to remember it wasn’t normal for me to cry at least 5 times a night because of how he made me feel

i'm not even going through this. well, I guess I am. I don't know. but I still cried. I still couldn't stop crying. it still hurts and I don't even know what hurts anymore

these things i already know, but' it's 10x more bearable watching you talk about it x

:) x

Boyfriend of 7 years left me via text last night.. I needed this..

I want to cut ties with someone, they're one of my old friends who are toxic and I can't be around their personality they just drag me into all of this unnecessary drama. They have manipulated me into thinking I caused mental health issues for them and that and she fed me lies about other people that were my family and people I cared about. But she has just recently lost one of her oldest friends and boyfriend because of this problem and I don't want to cut ties because of her mental health. She has caused me stress and sleepless night and I feel like I had to tip-toe around her. She still has multiple friends but I still feel guilty and horrible...

My mother was dating somebody and it was toxic, they didn't talk at all for at least 2 years, they would ALWAYS fight.. and recently they've been talking again, i'm quite scared.

I know it’s been a while since this video was posted but I need some advice. How do you get over someone that you see everyday at school?

My ex and I were dating for a year and we broke up because he didn’t love me anymore but he still wants to be friends. It’s been a month since we broke up and it still hurts so fucking much. And I know that I need to stop talking to him but idk how since we see and talk to each other everyday. And I still love him.

Last night I told the girl that I love I need time to think about everything. She's blaming me because I need time to care for myself. I'm angry and destructive to myself and I just need to learn to love myself first. I hate how she only wants a relationship. Does she care? I just want everything to stop

My only friend is mad at me and I've done nothing wrong.. I even made her a cake for her to forgive me but she told me straight to my face "I don't want you're fucking cake" she's semi ok with me now but I can't deal with her treating me like a rat but if I let her go than I have no friends and I will be alone my freshman year of high school.. Any advice?

since others are, im going to rant here.


i met a girl in 6th grade- well our moms had met over facebook and we went to the same school and started talking. we had became really close, having sleepovers all the time, she would always come over to my house on wednesdays after school, and we would text for ours, about anything really- school, crushes, harry potter, miraculous ladybug, roblox, you know. normal things 11 year olds talk about.


then in february of 2017, our moms got into a fight, about our friendships, which meant that my best friend and i stopped being friends. but that time, we both still cared about each other, and wanted to be friends again. in may we became friends again, after i had given her a note secretly at lunch the day before.


everything was perfect again, we were close as ever. everything was that way until march of last year.


she had moved schools, and had became so busy with homework and her other friends, and she was in the school musical there. slowly, she just stopped caring. we barely talked and i blamed myself, like i normally do. but in june, our friendship was almost exactly like it was before. just careless, and happy. we talked every day just about, and went to the park a lot to see each other.


then, after i had come back from choir camp in july, where i had met some new friends who i right away was close to. i had talked to her about them once, and suddenly she thinks i don't love her anymore. in fact, she also said "IF YOU LOVE ME LET ME GOOOO" very clearly quoting This Is Gospel by P!ATD. and, we use to play minecraft a lot. she asked me the monday after i came back from camp (i got back on a saturday) if i wanted to play. i said no, because i was still too tired and trying to adjust back into everything. if you go to a camp that you love a lot you'd know what i mean. anyways, she was just like "okay whatever talk to you eventually" after she had tried to convince me and kept saying no. the same thing happened the next night, except my mom had the laptop (we use to share one) so i obviously couldn't go on. then the next day, she blocked me on Hangouts, instagram, wattpad and discord. without any say. it was so bad, i couldn't stop crying. it was over. i distracted myself over the next few days- luckily i saw panic! at the disco that saturday (july 14th) but after that it went back to hurting. i know she was bad for me, but i still just miss her. i miss the memories really. but im glad she left, because otherwise i wouldn't be who i am. also, a lyric that reminds me so much of her is "i cried tears you'll never see, so fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean and leave me be" because that's exactly how it was.


point is, i wish i had cut ties with her myself, but im glad she did because i never would have had the courage to anyways

My girlfriend has recently (past few months) been mean to me and only been selfish, I don’t understand what’s happening and I’ve done all the work and she still acts like me texting her is the worst thing in existence. I am trying to cut ties for a while. She’s my best friend and it’s so hard because I love her but honestly, I need to be away from this pain. Thank you for sharing this Dodie, this helped so much.

It's been a year and a half and im still not over her , she was the only person that loved me for who I was the only person that understood me and tried to fix me.
My life is in shambles and I'm depressed , there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her.

Getting into a relationship when youve been through a traumatic childhood is the worst , you unknowingly begin to imprint on the person you're with and when it ends , its like your whole world dies along with them .

I don't know when this suffering will end but I'm trying

dodie darling please dont private this, so many people need this <3

Why are you so good with words?

It’s been more than a year and I still think about my ex a lot. I go through our old messages sometimes and it makes me depressed as shit lol. I’m content with myself.. or maybe I’m not. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I go through this cycle of being confident and thinking I’m over it and then being isolated and alone again. Every month for the past year. Any advice?

I actually just found out that my Crush doesnt like me back...i Know this isnt nearly as bad as giving up a relationship, but...I'm crying really bad atm. I really liked him and i want to get over him...thank you for the Video...and i will try.

Thank you for this❤️

Thank u so much
This was really helpful

Ugh I have to see the person I'm trying to get over every day kms

See how you helped my best friend. You’re helping me now.

almost all my friends are toxic and I have no one to go to if I do cut ties with them

I think I need to break up with my boyfriend. Neither of us are happy anymore and it's just...sad. There are times when I'm happy but there's so many where I'm not and I just don't think it's worth it anymore. Well stay friends but still, he's my first boyfriend so it hurts. This video helped a lot and made me feel a bit low comfort. Thank you dodie ❤️

as i checked the date you uploaded this, i was not a subscriber of yours because i haven't heard of you until about two months ago, anyways, you posted this when i would've needed it the most. happy in a relationship, i still have lingering feelings for my ex, who i still haven't gotten around to stop loving. really, it hurts, it hurts bad. this video made me realize i should do something now, and stop living in the past. i'll cry, i'll cry a lot, i'll finally get around to deleting their number, all the messages, the pictures, and unfollowing them on all social media. i'll take the things that remind me of them to the place that reminds me the most of them and throw them into the waterfront. it's going to be hard, but just know that you are the one that gave me the motivation to finally do these things. thank you so much dodie ♡

Idk how many comments ive left on this video but whatever i just want to thank dodie for a video like this. This kind of advice coming from her means so much sosososo much. I come back to this to remind my self where i am in the healing process and that even though I've barely started after what 2 months that at least ive started something. I've stopped talking to the person im cutting ties with completly for 2 months which has been hard. im not sure if it's the right thing but I've made it this far. Tonight i was looking at photos with her and it hurt so much. I need to stop doing that. I need to. My chest feels so tight and my throat feel so like bsjjjsnsnsndkkdknn. But i will be fine

I've done this before but am watching this for the future. Thank u :)

I've been in a long distance relationship for 2 years. We're meant to be closing the distance in less than 4 weeks. But he isn't a nice person. He tells me things like "I'm a nice person, I just can't be nice to you" and "How i feel about you is how I could feel about anyone", I flew to the U.S from Australia 3 times for him in less than a year. He lies about stupid things like he told me his ex (who he was with when we first met) was a stalker, broke into his Mums house, and constantly insulted him, turns out she was extremely nice. He told me everyone at his work was making disrespectful sexual jokes about me, which obviously upset me and made me feel uncomfortable, yelled at me for it, turns out it wasn't true. He constantly needs to make me feel like I'm worthless "because I'm out of his league" according to him. And my happiness doesn't mean anything to him but I have to make him happy even if what's upsetting him has nothing to do with me. I know the likelihood of him changing is next to impossible and it's probably for the best to cut ties, especially since when he comes here I'll be the one working and supporting him. I also have a heart condition and had minor heart attacks from stress, he says that he had nothing to do with the stress and my health problems are just another thing he needs to worry about. I may need heart surgery and instead of being worried about me or being there for me all he said was "Great, you'll be out of work and I'll need to find a job". He's nothing like this in person though which makes it so hard. I know this is alot to read and no one will probably even bother but I need help..

I wish I saw this sooner. My boyfriend just dumped me because apparently, he's too tired of hurting me.

i don't know if i should cut ties with this friend i have. i mean everyone around me is telling me it's like an abusive relationship, i mean it hasn't been as bad lately but idk every time i hang out with her i'm just not happy.. at all. like i love her, she was like a sister but i don't think it's healthy but i'd be hard for me since i've never cut someone out of my life and i'm a very forgiving person and i've known her and been best friends with her for 12 years. idk i really need advice

I've been avoiding to watch this video, since I watch every dodie video. But now my girlfriend and I have broken up and I think I'm ready.

You're better than any therapist i've had girl.. ilu2 ;--;

This helped me more than.. it'll be what.. a billion years of therapy okay.. a lot, alot of therapy and they just kept making me drink tea and saying stupid shhhh that didn't help me. they've made me 10 times worse and legit it's you and a couple of other peoples that have dragged me outta the hell I was in more so than they ever did.

I needed this. Thank you

My problem is that I want to cut ties with my whole class. This is a small class so if I cut ties, I won't be talking with anyone. So I'm waiting for graduation and just walk away silently. And no they don't deserve my explanation, they are just toxic.

Half way through doing this rn, it sucks, basically theres this girl, who for years I was BEST friends with, but she essentially used me all the time, and blamed me for all her problems, and like used me as her therapist, like I have my own shit to deal with, and other stuff too but I won't go into details, but now she's realised I'm tryna get away lol and has started slagging off all my good pals to me and is tryna get back in and I cannot let her it's bad for my mental health I can't.

I unfollowed him in everything today and now I'm watching this and it kind of really gave me courage to do this properly from now on

i fell in love with someone 4 years ago. he was my best friend at the time, but kept coming and leaving out of my life, which hurt me a lot, and i never fully realized i loved him in a romantic way. a year ago, he came back again and told me all this time he had been in love with me and just didn't know how to deal with it. i didn't trust him right away, i kept a wall over my heart. still, our "thing" progressed and i just couldn't help but bring my guard down, i knew things would end some day so i decided to live our romance to the fullest and make the most out of it.
it was amazing, like i was truly happy for the first time in my life.
months later, we still weren't "officially" dating, but he started becoming distant again. i decided to confront him and find out what was happening, only to be told that he couldn't be with me anymore. it hurt like a motherfucker but i accepted it because i knew we couldn't last forever. i tried to be friends with him but he kept replying and ignoring me, until january of this year when he never replied and i never sent another message to him.
in november of last year i found out he was seeing someone else (by stalking his facebook) and everything was so official and all those beautiful things he had once said to me were now directed to someone else.
i was NOT angry at him for finding someone else, i think that's actually healthy, but because their relationship started so so so shortly after our "thing" ended, i couldn't help but wonder if he had actually never fallen in love with me, because you can't fall out of love in 2 months... you just can't get over someone you reeeally love that fast.
the lies and the illusion are what kills me.
i felt/feel incredibly foolish.
it's been over a year since we came back into my life and our "thing" started. i was doing so much better at recovering from the heartbreak, but my mental health has slowly worsened over the past months and when im at my darkest place, i can't help but cling on to those who hurt me and repeating the cicle.
i was in a path of getting over him and i've just lost my way.
objectively, i know that we will never get back, that i deserve someone who loved me better, that i am just fond of the memories and that they don't actually represent him.
but there's this tiny bit of... hope.
and it's destroying me.
but alas, this too shall pass.

He doesn't need closure so I'm being as selfish as I need to be with this. This love/obsession is ruining my life and it will always be unrequited 💔

I brokeup with my "friend" but it was an ongoing effort to be friends. I tried my best but he was just so dominating, narcissist and overall a toxic person.He said things that hurt me,even though I said that whatever you'll say will only hurt me. I just wanted him to listen and understand my point of view,but no! He was freaking narcissist and said the meanest things. The thing that annoyed me the most was is that he always pretends to forget what he said and just point fingers at me

I really needed this but it hurts to unfollow them on social media..

Well so I knew this person for a year and a half. He was a really close friend and my boyfriend. We broke up. He ended up hurting me thrice. Each time I felt like someone had ripped my heart out and burned it brutally beaten it up and put it back inside. But now finally We don't talk anymore. He's dating someone else now. I was in depression for two months but now I have a few depressive episodes..I am getting better. Thank you Dodie.
~As if venting everyday in my journal wasn't enough.

Okay actually thank you. I needed this video.

A friend of mine just fought with me and I keep begging him to forgive me although I think he’s kind of toxic. But he’s always with my friends who I want to get close to but it’s so hard because he doesn’t even talk to me and every time I try to talk to him he just cuts me off in the middle of the sentence and says that he doesn’t care.i don’t know what to do. Also my best friend is a really good friend of his and she knows him better than me and I’m scared he’s gonna make her hate me some how. I honestly don’t know what to do. It’s so hard for me to talk in class or something bc I’m scared of what he will say.

This video had been in my recommended for so long and only just now did I watch it. I really needed to hear this though. But I can't cut off this guy that I used to like, he's dating a friend of a friend of mine and I see him every so often and stuff. So I just can't get over him

It usually takes about a year

is going to see the person in a year

Thank you so much for this.

this is what i needed today thank you

I’m letting go of my best friend because she has s a toxic person. I used to think toxic people were just awful humans, but sometimes they can be the nicest person you know.

one of the best friends ive ever had is kinda slipping away and making new friends and im really happy for her but she never wants to hang out with me and all and none of my friends really ever do. and then when we do hang out something typically makes me get this sort of detached feeling of loneliness despite the group setting and i don't know if i should cut ties and i always end up trying to earn their attention back but at least this video will be there if i decide that is the route i should take

Dodie cut ties to all the hufflepuffles she has left :`(

I'm so stressed :(( I deleted them from everywhere, and I was happy for those few days , then I thought about them again. And it's all come back! All the crying, the emotions, my head is so compact right now and I can't think of anything else :(( I'm now speaking to them again, and it's the worst thing but I love it. I want to ignore the, but it's so hard.

the person I used to consider my "best friend" cut ties with me completely. Maybe he should have watched the video and followed the advice of having an open chat or writing a letter. Because he left without saying a word and completely out of the blue and I never saw him again

this is actually really good advice lol

I needed this. Thank you

my ex boyfriend of two years and I broke up in February and I am still madly in love with him but he's over me and I don't know how to move on ;-;

Coming back to this video now because I need it and it’s gonna help

i don’t want to let go. i love her so much. but it hurts me so much to see what she’s doing and saying to other people. it’s a lose-lose either way :(

I had a two bestfriend and they ditched me they said I was really mean to them.. We also fought sometimes but I loved them like sisters I am really hurt they didn't even try to save our relationship they just ditched me they said that they were friends with me out pity cause I had no friends they said that my words hurt them how am I supposed to know if you don't tell me? I know that they hate me never even liked me but why do I miss THEM? I can't see how they can be so happy without me being there. I got new friends and I love them soo much but I also miss my old friends but I just can't get over them it's been 5 months since it happened

I finally unfollowed my friend on social media today who I have been in love with for years. This came up on my recommendations so I guess it’s a sign.

I don't think I'll ever love anyone ever again due to the hurt and stress I experienced.

what if the person you love is ur friend and they want to keep in touch with you but this has happened to you before and you know that it won't end up well and it will just hurt even more. But they don't believe that and they feel hurt that you have such little faith in this relationship but you're just trying to make the experience less painful. How do you explain it to them?

when i watched this video all i thought was “take notes this is how you heal from the MCR breakup”

I haven't cut ties but I've tried distancing myself. However, she kind of caused a big mess in my friend group so it might be time for all of us to either confront her, cut her off, or both

Since i started school I've had this girl as my ( former) best friend but lately shes been being mean, she calls my best friend mean things because he likes to wear dresses amd is constantly criticising me and if i dont hang out with her she gets mad at me, although shes constantly ditching me for other people. Whenever I'm not at school the next day all she talks about is how much fun she had without me, its like she doesnt realise how much it hurts to see how replaceable i am.

how to cut ties with cuties

My best friend recently became toxic and I had to unfollow her and cut her out after being basically sisters and hanging out every week to cutting her out has been hard but I’m slowly getting better mentally after unfollowing her form social media and moving on

I don't really have many friends at the moment, but it's nice reading other people's comments.. I hope it works out for you all.

I was in love with someone. I thought he might like me too. But no. He’s gay. I still love him. At least we’re still great friends

Thank you Dodie x

My best friend isn't being the greatest person right now and I kinda don't want to be in the friendship anymore, but if she turns around and starts acting like her old self again and it's too late, I'll feel even worse. I need a little advice. Also thank you for making this, it really helped.