This was the most helpful thing I think I’ve ever heard. You are better than my therapist


Saw you on Anna Akana's channel and watched this video at the right time! Thanks Dodie. I appreciate your advice.


I love you, I wish I knew you in real life. I know you’ve got a lot of admirers, but I really feel like we’re close even though we’ve never talked. you’re such a beautiful person all around, I really needed to hear this. ): I hope someday I can meet you


Came back to this video as I need to cut ties with a guy who friendzoned me, and I know I don't owe him anything to be friends with him. It hurts, as I want him to change his mind eventually but I know I will be torturing myself with thoughts like that and holding onto false hope. And I know I can't be just friends with him right now, and I have to let myself heal before I can think more logically about whether I actually want him as just a friend.
I've been told to take it as a compliment that he values my friendship more than just being "friends with benefits", but it still hurts as we got to that place in the first place.
Any advice would be great right now.


My friend and I decided to cut ties with one of our friends because she prioritized her relationship with her girlfriend over her friends. It took us so long to make this decision of cutting ties but we did it and we've both been crying and venting to each other because we be can both relate to what's happened and how our friend didn't even really care about us leaving her or that her relationship with her girlfriend is taking over her life and how her girlfriend acted towards me and my friend. I really wish I didn't feel this way after doing this but I do and I feel it's better for me and my friend that we cut her off but it's also made me feel angry and upset just knowing that she's okay while we're completely broken.

"This video has really helped me realize that you can't just get over it in a day it takes a while so I sent the link to my friend so that she understands it's okay to cry and vent about it."


That's it. Stay strong. Quit the Dark side of the Force now. I needed that talk. It's great. But it never healed properly in my case.


I'm crying so hard knowing he will be gone forever but i know it's for our own good both of us.
I'm having difficult time knowing what do i want I've been recently diagnosed with BPD and sever depression and i just can't handle this relationship right now and so does he, that what hurts the most.
Thank you for this video , you're so sweet. ❤❤


This was exactly what I needed. Thank you. So much. ily.


This video helped me a lot with this ex friend of mine. She left me and my really good friend Tori. I took it hard and I would tell this girl how I felt. She didn't seem to care what I said. She became a completely different person. And I miss her because she is not her at all.

Edit: she came back for a while but guess what, she is being really rude to me sooo came back to this vid lol.

Edit: hey so another one of my best friends just left me out of the blue. She means a lot to me and she blocked me on her cell and on her snap story. I asked her if she did and she was like noooo 😢 I rly don’t know what to do she was literally my (2nd) bestfriend and we had so much fun together we even went to Hershey Park together. I don’t know why she all of a sudden she just hates me please help

Update- she came back. Am I surprise? Nope

PersonYouDon'tKnow just shut her out and do what Dodie said

this is exactly what im going through and i have no clue as to what i should do


if anyone sees this that's going through a breakup or a tough falling out with a friend or whatever it is, know that it it will all be okay and you can be happy without this person and you will be happy without this person! have a good day/night


For the past couple months I've been telling my best friend that she had been kind of ignoring me for the past..forever. She said she'd try to pay more attention to me but she never did. So I started ignoring her and only then she noticed.

She then shut down into 'only speak of spoken to' mode and I kind of... stopped speaking to her. There were a bunch of other things that went wrong also- she made me feel awkward, depressed, she lied to me and then lied about not lying, and ultimately, over the period of time that I stopped talking to her, I realized I hated most things about her. Her personality, mannerisms, how she obsessed over things at an unhealthy level, and how she had no regard for personal hygiene. And she's been texting me wanting us to be friends again but I have to realize, that even through all of our fake good times, she was toxic. She still is.

Regarding your video- I don't want it to hurt. Not because I don't want to feel pain, I just don't want to feel pain for HER. She doesn't deserve my time, tears, and most certainly does not deserve my brains wandering thoughts about what was or what could be. But I do under the message that you tried to convey in your video.

So, thank you dodie. You always bring up the important issues.
Kisses! XOXO 😉 ❤


I was in a toxic relationship not romantic but a friendship and because of them I'm kinda terrified of having social media with people I know. These tips would've helped me back back then but back then I had no healthy relationships so


we broke up because we both need to focus on ourselves and grow as people, and we couldn't manage doing that and also being together. this pain feels so debilitating, I can't focus on anything. I honestly don't know how I'm going to survive my day to day life without him. I know it's for the best, but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it right now. thank you for this dodie :)


what if the cutting ties part isnt mutual??? what if only one person wants to get out???<br>you should make a video about the situation then dodie....

what if the cutting ties part isnt mutual??? what if only one person wants to get out???
you should make a video about the situation then dodie....

Harish Thangavel I've been the person who wants to get out before. They wouldn't leave me alone and it was hard, but they were a toxic person so I honestly didn't care about the emotions they're going through.

Mary Claire Moriarity this feels so bad for me, because I cut ties with someone without explaining it... I'm so sorry for u

Mary Claire Moriarity i dont know what to tell you but to just wait it out or to confront that person

Harish Thangavel I kind of feel like I'm going through that, and the other person won't tell me what's wrong

Harish Thangavel i'm going through the same thing except i'm the one who wants to cut ties with someone. if you're in the same situation, i guess that you shouldn't fight what you feel. if you feel like you have/want to say goodbye to someone, then do it. i don't think you have to talk it out with them. you just need to find closure, whether that's by writing them a letter, like dodie said, or simply just realizing "ah... maybe this person isn't meant to be a part of my life anymore". which is what happened to me. the moment i realized that, i just... went away from them. i knew they weren't going to change even after talking abt it (we've been 'arguing' for a few months now), but they texted me told me something that made me realize that we were too different to be friends. and it hurt me, but i did what i thought felt right and cut ties with them. and i don't regret it<br>i hope my comment helps you with what you're going through yourself! ^^

Harish Thangavel i'm going through the same thing except i'm the one who wants to cut ties with someone. if you're in the same situation, i guess that you shouldn't fight what you feel. if you feel like you have/want to say goodbye to someone, then do it. i don't think you have to talk it out with them. you just need to find closure, whether that's by writing them a letter, like dodie said, or simply just realizing "ah... maybe this person isn't meant to be a part of my life anymore". which is what happened to me. the moment i realized that, i just... went away from them. i knew they weren't going to change even after talking abt it (we've been 'arguing' for a few months now), but they texted me told me something that made me realize that we were too different to be friends. and it hurt me, but i did what i thought felt right and cut ties with them. and i don't regret it
i hope my comment helps you with what you're going through yourself! ^^

Harish Thangavel I think that's a case of the one getting out doing what's best for them. If you're that person you should never feel bad about it. Equally if you're the person they want to get away from, you need to find out if they're willing to talk it out with you and then you can come to a mutual understanding of space and separation or perhaps you working to improve the relationship

+Harish Thangavel I don't have any advice on that :P anyone else have anything?


This isn't a new video but it's been helping me a lot. My girlfriend left me and she said she does not have any feelings for me anymore. And that hurts more than I could have ever imagined. All the beautiful memories hurt. All the I love yous hurt. I really wanted her in my future, in my life, and I do love her. I love her still. And right now, it feels like I always feel. But I lived a beautiful relationship, and I don't regret that. I just wish it would've lasted a little longer. Bottom line, thank you for this Dodie. Thank you.


I keep coming back to this video. I’ve really needed this since the beginning of this year


I feel like having that "end goal" is so good but also it makes me feel like I'm kinda pretending the relationship never happened... say if I wanna look at one video of us together. Idk. It hurts though. That's all I know.


you're the sweetest little flower this video is so helpful thank u!!!


question: if the person you want to cut ties with is your father and you've already talked stuff through last year and given him another fucking chance because the talk we had a few months after that was great and I felt loved for the first time but that was the only time and he hasn't been much of a father figure since; I don't have to talk with him again do I? It will only make me fall back into the trap of staying in contact and end up hurt. He's pretty manipulative and lies about things that all my family members that lived with me and him agree on: he's been emotionally and physically abusive. <br>anyway great video, it's an important topic to talk about

question: if the person you want to cut ties with is your father and you've already talked stuff through last year and given him another fucking chance because the talk we had a few months after that was great and I felt loved for the first time but that was the only time and he hasn't been much of a father figure since; I don't have to talk with him again do I? It will only make me fall back into the trap of staying in contact and end up hurt. He's pretty manipulative and lies about things that all my family members that lived with me and him agree on: he's been emotionally and physically abusive.
anyway great video, it's an important topic to talk about

4everFinnick.CFBeautiful You have the right to set boundaries. If you don't want to see your Father, you should not have to. Boundaries! You should listen to the podcast Dear Sugar. I think you would find a lot of answers and solace in it. 💗

4everFinnick.CFBeautiful this person may be your father, but considering how quite frankly awful he sounds, that doesn't mean you have to remain in contact with him, it sounds like you've been hurt a lot and I think you owe it to yourself to remove toxic hurtful people from your life. Remain civil if you can't avoid him, but just slowly remove yourself from your emotional investment in him. I don't know your circumstance, but personally that would be what I would do. All the best xxx

the saddest thought that keeps coming back is if I'll ever really be free from him. My brother sees him sometimes and he has my number and he's on my facebook. He lives not too far away, what if I would cross paths with him in the future. Aah I hate what if questions.


I’m not sure why I am sharing this but here we gooooo, about 2 years ago I cut off a toxic friend but still went to the same school as them for about a year. I thought I did the right things but I think I have realised that I didn’t. I didn’t give her many reasons but I felt like she didn’t deserve them. My point is I now I find just being friends with someone really hard. I know there are some messed up things in my brain and it’s not all from this one experience with this one person however, I feel like I am worthless if someone I am friends with is better than me at one thing. This is stupid and I find it really hard to deal with but I think it comes from this old toxic friend always pitting us against each other and thinking that she always had to be smarter, prettier and more popular. I know this isn’t the most relevant to the video but I felt like I needed to share. Any advice on how to better my mindset on my self worth around my friends?


I cannot tell you how much I have watched this video and I still can't get over this guy and I think I really need help


currently going through a rough time with my relationship. i have a strong feeling we’re going to break up.
but i’m not crying.
i don’t feel like crying.
i feel like if it’s not going to get better, why stay with it. when we do breakup (will happen at some time) i know we’ll both find someone who we’ll be with forever.


Needed this now. I'm crying but thanks. <3


Had to refer back to this because of multiple friends saying that they didn't like me anymore. Thank you, Dodie. 💖


I cut my best friend out of my life around 2 years ago because she was very toxic, but in the process I lost all of my friends as they had all fallen into her toxic trap (dramatic lol) and ultimately I was seen as the bad friend and that is what they tell people. This person made my struggles with depression and anxiety even more of a struggle with me and the only reason I could think to keep them in my life was so I would not be lonely; and although now a big weight has been taken off of me I now have no one.
My anxiety has become worse now and I can't bring myself to let others in as the one time I had after this friend they did the exact same thing to me.
I don't want to look back on my teen years and have no memories other than of being in my room alone, but I'm almost 18 now and I can't seem to figure things out. Dodie, you make me feel like I have someone and that means so much to me;  I seen you live in Dublin this Wednesday and I cried so much because you've done so much for me and to be there for you was the most amazing feeling I have ever felt. Thank you so much Dodie, you mean the world to me x ( wasn't planning on writing this much but now I'm here crying whoopsss)


This is so true. Could be applied to friends also


Everyone: cutting ties with an ex

Me: cuts ties from my toxic mother 😐


what if the toxic reltaionship is with your parents?

Same deal. Just because they are your parents doesn't mean they are good for you. I know that's hard to hear, bc I've dealt with the same thing with my dad. It's definitely really hard, but sometimes it really is for the best

Jamie MacFarlane  Believe it or not my nephew came out as Bi a few years ago. I am sure he had the same fear as we are all christians and pretty conservative at that.  But, we love him and his boyfriend. My nephew started with his siblings then spoke to his parents then sent me an email, which I replied to and then called him to make sure he realized that the important thing is we are family. You know your family is there anyone you can begin to share with? I hope so. I hope they surprise you with a very loving and accepting responce. 😊💕

Gail Ryder that's good. Well my WHOLE family and relatives are extremely homophobic and I'm bisexual. That's the main thing. But yeah thanks for the advice, I'll keep casually bringing up gay rights and see how people react. :)

Jamie MacFarlane  Do you have a grandparent or an aunt or uncle that you could talk to? They may have some advice on how you can share some of your concerns about or hopefully with your parents. I know it can be very hard to talk to your parents some times about things that may be bothering you.  A few years ago I had missed my period (for several months) I was concerned because it may be a health issue my mother didn't understand she jumped to the conclusion that I was pregnant. Fortunately I was able to talk to my father who was then able to make my mom understand that there was no possibility of me being pregnant and she then made a doctors appointment for me. I was fine and it all worked out but I had to share the problem with my father first. Hope there is someone that you can talk to. It may seem impossible but take the first step and you may find the key to your problems.  Good luck!


For those of us who do not always have access to other people for whatever reason, writing or processing in your own way (eg. drawing, reading, etc) may be helpful, too.


I just found this video after my shit show of a weekend. I have a massive crush on one of my best friends, and have done for around 2 years. Except, I told a friend of mine, which I now regret, and she told him. Obviously, I got rejected. She posted my rejection to the group chat too. Not only have I been rejected but humiliated this weekend. I’ve no one to talk to as the group chat that found out don’t care, and my best mate is the one I confessed too. I just need time to heal, and had nowhere to vent, so, here we are. I just feel a gaping hole in my chest, like numbness. It’s so painful, and I didn’t ever realise that being rejected hurt this much, but thanks so much for this video dodie. You made me feel ok, and like it’s all gonna be okay. Thanks :)


I used to have a friend who I didn't realise was extremely toxic until it was too late. We met in fifth grade at an after-school choir program and I thought she was a good person when I only had to deal with her for an hour-ish once a week. We both enjoyed each other's company a lot, so it's needless to say that we were super excited when we found out we would both be attending the same middle school and then going to high school together. I was so excited to introduce her to my group of friends when we started sixth grade, and it somehow took me a while to realise that the rest of my friends really did not like this girl. For some reason, I was unable to pick up on how controlling, manipulative, and unable to compramise in any way, shape, or form this girl was, while the rest of my friends who had only known her for a few weeks were able to see it instantly.

I feel so stupid for not seeing the warning signs sooner, especially because of how the whole situation hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I used to be a competitive figure skater, so the sport obviously monopolized most of my free time. I was scheduled to go to sleepaway camp with this "friend" for a week, but I ended up giving up my registration for that week to go to the State Games of America. It was a pretty big deal to qualify for the State Games, considering it meant that I was one of the best skaters in New Jersey at my level. I messaged my "friend" about two weeks before we were supposed to go to camp to let her know that I wouldn't be there, and that was when it all started to go downhill. She texted me back about an hour later with "what the fuck why," so I told her that I was going to be out of the state that week, of course to which she replied demanding my reason for traveling from New Jersey all the way to Michigan for a week. I told her that I had a skating competition there, and she flipped out. She replied with "What the fuck Val why would you do this you know how much I've been looking foward to camp with you I can't believe you let your stupid skating get in the way of our friendship. " I was fine, really, it totally wasn't like I spent seven years of my life working my ass off on something I loved doing and had a passion for to the point where I would sacrifice spending time with my own family to go skate and practice and compete and perform and have the time of my life, just for someone I considered a close friend to shoot me through the heart with a flaming arrow just because I chose to go to a nationwide competition that I only qualified for once in seven years instead of spend a week with her in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of people I've never met before. That was a year ago and it still fucking stings to think about it. I thought we were friends, and then she went and stabbed me in the back and insulted the only thing that made me unique and different than everybody else.

We didn't talk for the rest of the summer. We get our schedules for the new school year, and lo and behold, we have 5 classes together. We avoided each other for the whole first three days, and then we were in the library for our English class and I commented on how I noticed that she had gotten her braces off. That was a mistake, since she took that as an invitation to come in and ruin my life all over again.

Fast foward to this past June. It's the eighth grade dance at a nightclub sort of place that the school had rented out for the whole evening. There were about 200 or so kids there. My "friend" had apparently spent the first hour-ish of the party sitting by herself on her phone, and then ended up leaving early in tears for what seemed like no reason. I didn't know about this until the next day, since I was busy having fun with my actual friends. The next day at school she seems really upset, so I ask her what's bothering her. No response. 4 classes later, we're walking to class and she says "I need to talk to you. Now." and proceeds to blame me for her not having fun at the dance. Her exact words were "Why were you avoiding me last night?... You didn't even bother to invite me over to dance with you... You could've at least texted me to ask if I was okay... Did you even notice I was gone?" I'm sorry, but sweetheart, if you ever end up finding this comment, you need to understand that you can't blame me for your lack of social skills. Also, you need to know that there were over 200 kids in that building at that time, so there was no way for me to realise you had left. Third of all, it seemed more like you were the one avoiding me since you spent the short amount of time you were there huddled in the corner staring at your phone with your headphones on whenever I happened to catch a glimpse of you.

Anyway, this "friend" told me that she is supposedly going to "leave me alone all summer." I honestly couldn't give less of a single fuck about her "leaving me alone," since I'm not really alone. I have plenty of other friends who actually are supportive of me and my passions, and actually are capable of understanding that it's not okay to latch onto someone and try to control whatever they do and hope they don't get tired of you. I unfollowed her on all of our social media, and I even took the extra step to block her on all of them, even the ones where I knew her username even though she didn't know mine just to make sure that she can never message me and try to ruin my life a third time.

The first time she hurt me, it took a long time to decide to give her a second chance. It was more painful than that one time I broke my arm the night before I was supposed to compete. To be completely honest, it completely changed how I felt about the sport. It gave the whole thing a sort of negative connotation and left me honestly scared to cancel plans or turn down invitations to hang out with my friends because of skating. All it took were those few texts and my whole outlook on something I was proud of and that made me confident and happy was flipped upside-down.

I never should have given her that second chance. I'm honestly glad that I'm cutting her out of my life for good.

I used to have a friend who I didn't realise was extremely toxic until it was too late. We met in fifth grade at an after-school choir program and I thought she was a good person when I only had to deal with her for an hour-ish once a week. We both enjoyed each other's company a lot, so it's needless to say that we were super excited when we found out we would both be attending the same middle school and then going to high school together. I was so excited to introduce her to my group of friends when we started sixth grade, and it somehow took me a while to realise that the rest of my friends really did not like this girl. For some reason, I was unable to pick up on how controlling, manipulative, and unable to compramise in any way, shape, or form this girl was, while the rest of my friends who had only known her for a few weeks were able to see it instantly.

I feel so stupid for not seeing the warning signs sooner, especially because of how the whole situation hit me in the face like a ton of bricks. I used to be a competitive figure skater, so the sport obviously monopolized most of my free time. I was scheduled to go to sleepaway camp with this "friend" for a week, but I ended up giving up my registration for that week to go to the State Games of America. It was a pretty big deal to qualify for the State Games, considering it meant that I was one of the best skaters in New Jersey at my level. I messaged my "friend" about two weeks before we were supposed to go to camp to let her know that I wouldn't be there, and that was when it all started to go downhill. She texted me back about an hour later with "what the fuck why," so I told her that I was going to be out of the state that week, of course to which she replied demanding my reason for traveling from New Jersey all the way to Michigan for a week. I told her that I had a skating competition there, and she flipped out. She replied with "What the fuck Val why would you do this you know how much I've been looking foward to camp with you I can't believe *you let your stupid skating get in the way of our friendship.* " I was fine, really, it totally wasn't like I spent seven years of my life working my ass off on something I loved doing and had a passion for to the point where I would sacrifice spending time with my own family to go skate and practice and compete and perform and have the time of my life, just for someone I considered a close friend to shoot me through the heart with a flaming arrow just because I chose to go to a nationwide competition that I only qualified for once in seven years instead of spend a week with her in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of people I've never met before. That was a year ago and it still fucking stings to think about it. I thought we were friends, and then she went and stabbed me in the back and insulted the only thing that made me unique and different than everybody else.

We didn't talk for the rest of the summer. We get our schedules for the new school year, and lo and behold, we have 5 classes together. We avoided each other for the whole first three days, and then we were in the library for our English class and I commented on how I noticed that she had gotten her braces off. That was a mistake, since she took that as an invitation to come in and ruin my life all over again.

Fast foward to this past June. It's the eighth grade dance at a nightclub sort of place that the school had rented out for the whole evening. There were about 200 or so kids there. My "friend" had apparently spent the first hour-ish of the party sitting by herself on her phone, and then ended up leaving early in tears for what seemed like no reason. I didn't know about this until the next day, since I was busy having fun with my actual friends. The next day at school she seems really upset, so I ask her what's bothering her. No response. 4 classes later, we're walking to class and she says "I need to talk to you. Now." and proceeds to blame *me* for her not having fun at the dance. Her exact words were "Why were you avoiding me last night?... You didn't even bother to invite me over to dance with you... You could've at least texted me to ask if I was okay... Did you even notice I was gone?" I'm sorry, but sweetheart, if you ever end up finding this comment, you need to understand that you can't blame me for your lack of social skills. Also, you need to know that there were over 200 kids in that building at that time, so there was no way for me to realise you had left. Third of all, it seemed more like you were the one avoiding me since you spent the short amount of time you were there huddled in the corner staring at your phone with your headphones on whenever I happened to catch a glimpse of you.

Anyway, this "friend" told me that she is supposedly going to "leave me alone all summer." I honestly couldn't give less of a single fuck about her "leaving me alone," since I'm not really alone. I have plenty of other friends who actually are supportive of me and my passions, and actually are capable of understanding that it's not okay to latch onto someone and try to control whatever they do and hope they don't get tired of you. I unfollowed her on all of our social media, and I even took the extra step to block her on all of them, even the ones where I knew her username even though she didn't know mine just to make sure that she can never message me and try to ruin my life a third time.

The first time she hurt me, it took a long time to decide to give her a second chance. It was more painful than that one time I broke my arm the night before I was supposed to compete. To be completely honest, it completely changed how I felt about the sport. It gave the whole thing a sort of negative connotation and left me honestly scared to cancel plans or turn down invitations to hang out with my friends because of skating. All it took were those few texts and my whole outlook on something I was proud of and that made me confident and happy was flipped upside-down.

I never should have given her that second chance. I'm honestly glad that I'm cutting her out of my life for good.


I don’t know, whether this video still applies to me but last year my best friend and I broke up and it hurt me so so much. I went through a period of deep confusion and emotion and I don’t know what was happening but in the end I decided it was too hard for me to stay friends with her. I think I blame her but she’s always been there for me and she didn’t mean to hurt me. In the end I think I was at fault, not her but I still blame her and that makes me a bad person. I don’t know if I or she did anything wrong and all my other friends are still friends with her so it just makes me feel worse


i'm cutting ties with my best friend who ghosted me during one of the most difficult moments of my life and when i wrote her a long text explaining exactly how her ignoring me (but keeping contact with everyone else) has made me feel- she wrote back saying she was depressed and doesn't want her friendship to end and that she will always be there for me but can't tell me when she can reply to my messages again (which is so hypocritical - i don't understand) Reading her text made me feel bad and I told her I would wait until she was ready to talk but after a while I thought about it and I didn't understand why I was trying to make her feel better when she hurt me to begin with- so I immediately unfriended her and unfollowed her on all my social media platforms but I still have so many pictures of us together and have so many urges to tell her about my day or something. I spilled all of my personal problems to her because I trusted her and she made me feel so much better but all of a sudden out of the blue she would not respond to me anymore and I just want a reliable best friend who will always be there for me, you know? I thought we would be friends forever, but clearly she made better ones and forgot all about me

btw thank you so much dodie- this really helped me and encouraged me to keep on moving on  <3 ily

Thank you! I never really told anyone except for her more than a brief summary of what had been going on, so you replying and caring and saying you are proud makes me so happy, it's a very small thing but it really does help a lot, thank you <3

thank you for sharing something so personal. i teared up reading this. i'm so happy you're in a healthy head space now and reconnected with your friend. it was hard for me to sympathize with my friend because online, she was having so much fun with her new friends and it made me bitter. but now, i can only wish her the best and perhaps i will reconnect with her in the future. again thank you for sharing this and i'm so proud of your recovery and strength

I feel like this could be how I made my best friend feel...
I had not been depressed or anything, but I was thinking about cutting quite a lot. That was before we got friends. Then she asked me if I could help her in math and so we became friends and close friends and best friends, and even though I didn't talk to her about the issues I had had, I somehow stopped thinking about cutting and was a happier person altogether. I kept thinking if it wasn't for her, I would be depressed. So naturally, I was really grateful to have her. More than that, I have never had many friends, while she is good with people, she is popular, and she is pretty, and she is smart, and she is creative, and she is a good friend, and she is like basically everything you could wish for. It's hard to grasp how awesome I found her.
Well, I did have a bit of a depressive episode eventually. The way it started was cutting and incredibly low self esteem. Like, I really thought of myself as a horrible person, worse than anyone else and impossible to like, let alone liked by an angel like her. I was kind of fine with other friends, I had had lots of time to get used to them, but I was only friends with that angel for half a year. Also, they were not as perfect, so it was not as impossible to be liked by them.
In the beginning when she told me she appreciated our friendship, I wondered when I had lied to her. After that I just didn't believe hey anymore. I tried continuing our friendship without her knowing the mess that was my brain, but it was torture. Every single gesture of her turning away from me or something like that became the obvious sign she hated me and was annoyed and simply to nice to tell me. I don't know anymore if this is true but it definitely felt like I approached her more often than she approached me. I told her once, and could not believe her reassurances, being the mess I was. My emotional state kept getting worse and I cut more, my motivation was completely gone and I found it hard to see happiness and purpose in my life.
One day I just decided I would avoid her for a bit. I could not get better with her around, and I could not be friends with her before having gotten better, even though I really really love her and never wanted to lose her. I set myself a goal of not being down more often than twice in a month, and even though I never reached that goal, I felt better. Even before I set that goal, I had tried putting some distance between us for maybe a month or two because I felt sorry for her having to be friends with me, so in total we had been rather distant for two or three months.
When I was better, I tried just continuing where we left off when my depressive episode came in the way. Well, as I never told her about this, turns out not to be easy. It felt like all of the unsaid things were hovering between us like a wall she couldn't see. At least we talked again, but nothing more than small talk. Yeah, I know - I should have told her. Of course I should have. But this was hard enough to admit to myself, let alone say it out loud, let alone tell someone, let alone tell someone like her. Somehow I managed to text her about it. I can't recall ever having been as nervous as I was then.
It's hard to put into words how happy I was when I managed tell her what she needs to know and she didn't hate me afterwards and didn't hate me before and now we can finally talk openly again.
I'm not proud of what happened. I am well aware it was because of me and by now I am sane enough to know it can't have been a pleasure for her as well. This isn't over yet, I can't see her the way I did before and sometimes, I feel the distance again, but it's so much better. My image of her is not the same, I still love her, but I don't idolise her as much anymore. I can still be insecure, but I don't hate myself, and I believe people when they say they like me. Having managed to rebuild this friendship is probably one of the best things that have ever happened to me
Your story reminded me of that. I just feel like your friend and I have behaved rather similarly, and at least for me, it was not at all dislike of my friend - quite the opposite.

Freya Whale also if it's any help, this shows none of us are alone. we can all relate to each other's experiences and relationships.

Caitlin So the exact same thing happened to me a couple weeks ago hence why I'm here it's so weird to see how similar people are and how they hurt people

<3 <3 i feel this so much. when i became friends with my ex-best friend, i was extremely insecure and quiet and she was just effortlessly cool and had the type of personality that automatically attracted people to her. she was always more popular than me, but i didn't care. i felt honored that she would hang out and talk to me all the time. she made me feel comfortable whenever she was there with me. but i realize now how i too was at fault- i put her on a pedestal because i lacked so much confidence in myself. i never told her any of this and looking back, we never really talked much about our personal problems in much depth. i felt as if my personal problems all went away when i was with her. when we went our separate ways, we promised to keep in contact and we did for a while. and it was really nice. she made new friends and she told me about them and i was happy for her, even though i had a very hard time making friends at my school. then she started talking to me less and less and when i was going through an extremely rough time and spilled all of my personal problems to her, she finally pulled out of the friendship altogether. this was a huge blow to my confidence, which i already did not have a lot of , and i felt bitter towards her new friends (who also blocked me on social media when i reached out to them asking if my ex-best friend was okay) and i just felt so so lost. now having spent a lot of time away from her and gaining more confidence in myself and making new friends on my own, i realize it wasn't a healthy friendship.  i'm grateful for who she was to me and i hope she appreciates all that i did for her, but we probably should have been more honest and personal to one another from the beginning. i still miss her and i often wonder if she cares about me at all but it's all in the past now. i wished her well and goodbye while she said nothing.

i hope you find friends who love and appreciate you just as much as you love and appreciate them <3 you'll be okay. try not to look at your ex-friend on social media because it'll just make you feel worse. i sometimes see all of my ex-best friend's pics on her public instagram and it never makes me feel any better. hit me up if you ever need to talk.

oh , man can i relate? I have a friend who i loved so much. I had never had a friend like her and loved her beyond reason and words. We're going to separate schools and she has made so many new friends. She seems so happy and i went through a huge phase where i got bitter and jealous and angry because we've drifted apart. I loved her so much and however much i try to contact her, it doesn't seem like she's doing the same for me. It's hurting so much because i follow her on all social media and seeing her post with her new friends is a huge jab in the gut. she's a good person but i dont think she ever felt the way i did about her. i miss her so much. but i need to accept the fact that i can't change anything and it's so fucking hard because i loved her so much and i think i still do. it's painful, but i see hope in things will be okay again. ahhh i miss her, but she doesn't seem to miss me

Anonimė that was good of you to put yourself first and decide that he just wasn't right for you. I hope you find someone who does fully appreciate you and cares for your mental health.

Kathleen Stemmerich same with me:( I was best friends with one guy from my class and he was so sweet and supportive, but one day everything stopped. he started talking with another girl and just pushed me away. it was heart breaking. i was crying. a lot. then I moved on and forgot about him (which was hard, because I see him everyday in school), he decided to text me (it was about two months ago). i was so happy. the problem was that he is my best friend crush, so I didn't knew what to do, but I was still replying to his texts and talking to him. I felt good. he was interested in me. in my mental health. but sometimes if I told something important for me, he would laugh at it and say it's not a big deal. but I had to care about everything he said. I had to always listen to him, because I'm that type of person. after a week, I felt like I was starting to be addicted to him, like I was before. so I started thinking about it and realised, that I don't really want him in my life. he is always playing some games (like doesn't to tell me something, but then I just give up and don't care about it anymore, he starts to talking about it). one day he promised me to tell me something, so I waited for him to go to the shower (even though I really wanted to go to sleep, but I still waited for him). then he came back he decided to tease me and don't tell me it. i was done. I ignored him. he texted me about 50 messages on Snapchat and Messenger. about 30minutes later he gave up and said 'I won't text you even if I really wanted to'. so we stopped talking (we still collect streaks on snapchat, but that's it). at first, i was thinking that i did a mistake, but right now, I'm feeling like I did a right thing. yes, he did make me feel good sometimes, but I don't want to be friends with someone, who doesn't try to understand my problems, but I have to always understand his. I sometimes really want to text him, but then I think 'what would it change? he still be the same'. so, yeah. that's my story. good luck to you guys! i hope you will find someone who really cares about you♡

no we were best friends in elementary and middle school but went off to different high schools. she probably would not have ghosted me if we went to the same school because i have a feeling we would have stayed friends. and oh no i'm sorry to hear that. i hope you surround yourself with people who are there for you and appreciate you and keep you away from any toxicity.

Caitlin So do you still see her in person? i would love to do this but my toxic friends are in my classes

Kathleen Stemmerich if you figure out a solution, do tell :')

Kathleen Stemmerich i understand you soo much, I'm going through a similar thing...Even though you love/like someone, you should really be aware how they're affecting you. I had a relationship where I constantly felt like I had to lie to my friends and family and even though he made me feel great when we were together, all in all I was  behaving badly to everyone  else. but it's so fucking hard to stop thinking about it, man

Omg I thought I was the only one. So I kind of dated a boy and then we broke up (which the reasons don't matter as much) and we became friends. I want to say I'm suprised that it wasn't awkward at all but you know he's my ex so it was weird at times but most of all okay. Anyways one day he just stopped. Nothing. We stopped texting, and he never spoke to me. It seemed like every moment I just wanted to open up to him about my day and just talk to him again. The worst part is I still love him and like I said the reason why we broke up was understandable now I was just angry back then. So now I'm just hanging for dear life because this urge to text him is so painful. I have hundreds of letters to him just confessing that I love him and that I'm just sorry, I know that it won't do any good though. I know that I should "cut ties" with him after he impacted me. That sounds normal when you love someone, they are supposed to do that. But the way he impacted me was different, I started isolating myself and becoming very depressed. I would always miss the happy things in my life just wasting my time thinking about him. And after he left I really got time to think that yes I might love him but I don't need him. And sometimes I don't want him after he hurt (emotionally) me. "If he wanted to talk to me, he would". Right?

Caitlin So omg I'm in the exact same position

I am going through a similar issue. My best friend bossed me around for a long time, clawed on my insecurities (while being aware of them) while treating everyone else nicely with empathy. I confronted her and she told me that she didn't mean to do so and apologized. Some time in the weeks that followed she started ignoring me and when I asked her about it, she told me I was really rude to her and that one of my playful comments hurt her. That's when I decided I didn't want her in my life. I still have pictures of us on my social media and it makes me hurt to see the trust and friendship we used to have. :(

Caitlin So <br>literally I feel like I wrote this comment myself because it describes //exactly// how my best friend treated me and what I did

Caitlin So
literally I feel like I wrote this comment myself because it describes //exactly// how my best friend treated me and what I did

Caitlin So it's getting easier. But it's still sad. I get depressed sometime but yeah

Xxii MissyiixX aw hope things are okay and nope I dont have snapchat

aw thank you for this. and I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time as well. I hope you feel better soon. <3  My best friend and I had a really great relationship- she was the nicest person I ever met. We told each other our hardships before and supported one another immensely. We always promised to be there for each other no matter what.. even when we were going to different schools. We kept in contact for 2 years but even then I felt something different. It just wasn't the same talking to her through a screen and not being able to see her face or hear her voice again. I missed her a lot and she said she missed me too. But I felt like she found a better group of people at her new school and just .. i guess didn't enjoy talking with me anymore. I don't know. The very last time I heard her voice, I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and I called her up and bawled to her and she was there on the other end, listening and reminding me to breathe. Even though I hadn't talked to her in a while, I was so thankful that she was there to pick up and help me calm down. I still am grateful for that and the other things she did for me.. nothing will ever change that. After that incident, we talked more but that a few months later, she wasn't as active anymore but I never thought much about it. I just thought that she was busy.. (even though I could see she was still online and posting things -- I didn't think too much about it) Unfortunately, the problem I was upset about got a lot worse and I did not know how to handle the situation on my own so I tried to reach out to her again but .. to no avail.  I sent her countless messages and she kept leaving me on seen.. I KNOW she saw them.. she just chose to ignore them. Yet she responded to all her other friends' comments on her posts.. except mine. Her silence made me feel so alone and rejected and .. i just didn't know what to do with myself. So I just tried my best to keep my head up on my own and eventually I got through it.. it still is a problem but not as much anymore. Sometimes.. ghosting is understandable, I get that. You need to get rid of someone toxic in your life but don't want to confront them... if it was someone toxic, that person was never really your 'best friend.' but this was definitely my best friend and i loved her dearly.. we even called each other sisters and she just cut all ties with me just like that.. with no explanation.. especially after she knew I was going through a really tough time.. if she had told me anything (like she had her own problems to deal with or needed some space- I would be disappointed but not hurt. I would understand but she did not have the decency to tell me anything whatsoever, which was why it was so frustrating.) Even now I still consider her my best friend, but I can no longer wait until it's convenient for her to talk to me again. I feel like the best thing for me to do is move on.

I'm in the same situation, but I am the friend who got depressed. I stop talking to the guy who I considered my best friend and we used to tell everything to each other, but sometimes he was really mean to me, he used to laugh at me whenever I told some tragedy had happened or had passed through a rough time. But when he was in a similar situation I had to be the perfect friend supporting him. And if it wasn't already bad, we used to hang out with another group of friends, and everybody was mean with each other almost all the time. I couldn't stand this anymore, so I suddenly stop talking to them, sometimes I feel bad for no answering the texts or calls from my “best friend”, sometimes I miss him because he didn't use to be like that a year ago. Anyway, what I'm trying to say if you didn't act like that with your best friend or something,   no offence intended since I don't know you. But you should try to see through their perspective, and if you consider you did nothing wrong the don't feel bad, I know how it feels, but it's for the best. I hope you're okay and feeling better ❤

but it's also hard because she was my best friend-- so i never told anyone really how much this hurts because she was my BEST FRIEND... i told her everything!


My best friend had a crush on and talks to (daily) a guy that has done and does do unhealthy, awful things (to himself and to others). After much back-and-forth, I’ve told her that my comfort is no longer important and that she should take time away from me to decide what she’s comfortable with, since she’s the one that may end up in a relationship with this toxic person. If she interprets that as me making her choose between myself and the boy that makes her happy, I’ve told her that I’m a shitty friend that doesn’t deserve her anyway. I’m muting her for a week. No more, no less. After that, she can say whatever the hell she wants. Now we wait.


thank you 😭 dodie thank you that was what I needed! And you are so pretty 😭


Prettyyyyy late to find this video lmao but...

I'm considering cutting ties with someone who is kinda drifting away from me and my other friends. In a miss understanding, I thought this person blocked me. I started bawling, and I felt a giant weight have been lifted off my shoulders. I knew that it was a sign that maybe it was time to stop. Turns out they didn't block me (I kinda wish they did in a way which is a red flag). So I think I'm going to have to sit down and talk to her about it.

To anyone else going through any situation like this, I wish you the best of luck and happiness. I know you can get through it. I believe in you. <3333


what do you do when you live in a small town and the person is supposedly a "best friend" (cause she thinks she is) but we dont have nothing in common anymore, just a group of "friends" (who haven't  talk to me in years, just when we bump on the street or they invite to a casual bday party) and years of school memories? i dont know what to do but she's not the person i knew anymore and thats fine, people change, but now she's kind of toxic to me.....
i need to get more friends cause holy shit i might have only 3 that save, and in thise 3 i have 1 that i trust entirely
i think im not very good at living (anxiety and shyness keep me from it)

I'm in the same situation rn, but I'm still in school and she's in almost all of my classes and idk what to do.

Eli 19 exactly! sometimes it hurts me to see that my old best friend dont even talk to me anymore and has other better friends. its life and its sad but yeah i guess its normal <br>there will always be someone who you can trust, we cant lose faith

Eli 19 exactly! sometimes it hurts me to see that my old best friend dont even talk to me anymore and has other better friends. its life and its sad but yeah i guess its normal
there will always be someone who you can trust, we cant lose faith

The problem is that the person you think is "the real one" may change and hurt you too. You must be prepared to be abandoned  even for the people you trust the most. It doesn't mean you can't trust no one, but it's healthy to be aware of that

S Rule i think time is the answer. the people you dont have things in common just "fade away". the good memories keep them alive and make us miss a certain time, but we all change and we all have to accept that some things dont last forever.
only time show us who are the real ones, but the hard thing is accept that nothing comes easily, unfortunately :(
but im happy you're on your way already, it feels so good when you realize the ones you can trust. it gives us hope that things might be better

Eli 19 i hope you do too! and it helped me too so thanks 💙 im always on Dodie's comment section so if you want to chat, i'll be right here hahaha

nilleheltne i need to expose myself more, im really scraed of those things :(

Luna Feliz you just made my day with this incredible advice, thannk you so much. i believe things will be better but i am so scared of new things that i keep attached to the old and comfortable ones, even if they dont make me happy anymore. but the hope you gave me by being honest and preparing myself to whats about to come is so important to me, so thank you again 💙

Luna Feliz I love this advice. Thank you so much

itsmemoony As someone who's been in your situation, go ahead and cut ties. Make a vow to yourself that you'll just be alone for awhile, and maintain a healthy relationship with yourself. I'll be honest, I had an identity crisis when I finally accepted I'd be leaving this person behind, because a whole chunk of my identity was "her best friend" and I didn't know what to do with myself for a very long time. Get over the idea that you have to have a group of friends at all times, you don't, you can transition. This doesn't mean you have to be mean to anyone, or be bitter toward the people who've hurt you, and if anyone asks "hey you don't seems to talk to us anymore" you can always say "I'm taking some time for myself" and they'll probably judge you, but it'll be okay because that's exactly why you're leaving them. Once you accept that you don't really have to deal with people who bring you down, and that you can find happiness in yourself, pets, books, or the Internet, the friendships that you make from then on become a hell of a whole lot more valuable, because chances are those people came and saw something in you and chatted you up first despite your shyness or you gathered up the courage to say hi because you saw something in them. And I'll be honest, you probably won't meet these people right away, but when you do, you'll be in a much better place. I promise.

I hope you find someone who likes the same things as you. Good luck! And this little chat has helped me a bit, so thanks

Eli 19 thats the ideal party for me hahahaha

My "parties" are basically me + a friend or a book + coffee in the afternoon😏

Eli 19 everyone keeps saying that i need to go to parties or ill be excluded and blah and its so terrifying for me. but ok, i wont suffer in anticipation.  thank you for being so kind and i wish you all the most beauriful things too 💙 ps: YES BLUE HEARTS they are the best hahaha

Shia Marie it will get better, i know it! sometimes things are hard but its life, we just have to keep moving! hope you find your way out 💙

itsmemoony Thank you! You don't need to like what everyone else like to have friends. It's better to have a few great friends than a lot of shity people around you. I hope you get better  and I wish you the best in your new life💙 PS: I love blue hearts too

same situation for me.... it sucks but i know things will get better

Eli 19 first of all, congrats on the graduation 💙
second, i think ill try to do that... i graduated 4 years ago but i still didn't managed to get into college, but next year ill probably start vet school, which is in another city and ill try my best to make new friends. its hard when you're not that type who likes parties and drinking, which is an important part of being social accepted.
but im sure you'll find great friends next years, you're doing a great job already on cutting her, something that i feel incapable of doing so yeah, you're brave! it will hurt for some time but it'll be alright 💙

itsmemoony I know, I was doing the same. Now that I am about to graduate I decided to ignore her as much as I can, it hurts a LOT but I think it's the best for me. Just try to talk with someone else about it. I found comfort in another friend

Eli 19 it sucks right? i dont know what to do, and im that kind of idiotic person that acts normal when she eventually remembers that i exist to ask me a favor or watheaver


I wish I came back to this video when my ex dumped me a few hours before New Years. I've moved on from it now, but I know this would've helped me so much


its been almost two months since I've been apart from my ex, due to complications we could only give closure about three weeks ago. There were a few further complications after, where we contacted each other and he stopped and I obviously got upset, he then realised I had been on his social media and did quite a mean thing but I've decided to just let it go, thats when I blocked him on everything. I felt so proud, but since then its felt like my heart has broken again and again, I also gave in at one point and I think I may have found out that theres another girl starting to take a rise. It hurts, but I know now that I really want to move on because staying where I am is only making things worse. Today I can say has been the worst I've felt since we broke up, and I'm hoping theres sun at the end of this storm.


No video has or will ever bring me as much comfort as this one.


That was the most precious thing could listen thank you 😊 ( Brasil love ya )


dont drink too much alcohol before dodie uploads a kinda sad video, kids. it'll make u even more emo than usual


I’m on the verge of ending a 17 year friendship with a girl I class as my own sister !! Others tell me walk away but it’s not easy it’s destroying me as she can be an amazing person but also very cold I know she is toxic and I’m doing wrong by talking to her still but I hurt so much I can’t describe it

I'm in similar situation (also around 17 years of friendship)


I had to cut ties with my ex-boyfriend after I broke up with him, he'd been kinda emotionally abusive and then he became depressed which only made him worse. But he was still in love with me after we broke up, so he started stalking me on facebook. He liked every post I'd ever made since I joined, and started joining groups that I was a part of even if they didn't interest him at all. I ended up blocking him and telling him to back off, which made him angry and probably hurt him, but in the end, it helped both of us. We're good friends now and are able to spend time with one another, so yes, cutting ties help a lot some times.


I have this one friend who has been getting into partying, vaping, alcohol, and “hooking up” with other people, and I’m not sure if I should still be around her. Ever since grade four or five we were really close and we trusted each other and we would tell each other A LOT of our private thoughts. She was one of my closest friends. She was also like this social butterfly and she had a lot of energy and half the boys in my grade liked her. She was never mean to anyone and was never mean to me, although of course we could be a little annoying to each other at times. She always went to me if she wanted to get out of a situation and needed advice or felt bored or uncomfortable during recess while people were in groups talking. We were pretty close, like I said before. Then all of a sudden she started to talk about these boys who would text her and ask her for “pictures” of herself (you know what I’m talking about), boys who wanted to “hook up” with her, some of her friends outside of school that drank or vaped, and started listening to all this weird rap music that I don’t think she listened to before (although music tastes can change, I get it). These much sketchier girls at my school started hanging around her and talking to her more often and trying to involve her in their gross conversations and trying to get her to tell them private stuff about her social life and blah. I got a little worried, so I was like, “okay, don’t vecome sketchy!” and it was kind of a joke. Then she would ask me for my advice and have to keep thinking about it and kept asking me about it. This one guy that she kind of liked but not really because clearly he was an f boy wanted to “hook up” with her, and she didn’t know whether to say yes or no. I said, “I think it’s best if you say no. If you have to ask someone else’s opinion about this and you’re feeling doubts about it then definitely don’t do it. Also, you’re like 13! Slow down!! Just my opinion.” She and the boy we’re close friends for a long time though. ANYWAY, time passed, and she eventually did not do it. I went away for schooling in a different country for 3 months, and I heard from my other really close  friend that my friend was chasing boys around during recess, got a really jerky boyfriend for a week and then broke up with him, dared people to kiss, threw a Halloween party and let people bring alcohol, vape and tried to hook up with my friends brother. Maybe All this happened because I wasn’t there?? Idk. I just feel like I kind of “mom” her, and most of the time it works out, but she just doesn’t take my advice. We haven’t texted each other in a little while now and I’m still in the other country, and I don’t really know how she’s doing. Now none of the boys really like her, even though that’s not really important. She used to be like this innocent fun loving happy person, but now she has the reputation of a sketchy party kid or something. I’m sorry this was so long and so roughly written, but my question is, should I cut ties with her?? I don’t miss her as much as I thought I would... and I think we might just be burdens to each other. I’ve tried to not get her into trouble even when she did, I tried. Soooo...? Maybe strangers on the internet can tell me what to do?? Idk but thanks for reading this whole darn thing 😂


ive been friends w someone for 8 years and they just ditched me i dont know what to do i love her so much but she keeps telling me that im horrible im not good enough we have had  many fights so now were not friends and im getting over her its hard yes but i will get through it ik i can

lowkey rubee ohh ty that’s so sweet cuz  it’s nit just that friend my whole friend group ditched me and I wanted to rant to someone but everyone was there friend and I just wanted someone to hug me and tell me it’s ok to be sad but ty I rlly appreciate it

You are good enough. Never let anybody tell you otherwise.

Fate is Strange ty we’re not friends anymore and now I’m over it I feel better cause I don’t feel guilty and don’t is in bed and wonder what’s  wrong w me cause now Ik nothing is cause I shouldn’t worry abt what other people think of me I am worth so much  more although It still haunts me I can get through it ty for the support all the best w u btw if u feel they r acting immaturely give them little hints because when Ik just say it it hurts trust me but if  u rlly feel that way it’s ok be honest but In a nice way

DJ_StarLight_ I believe in you, you’re worth more than that. I’ll admit I’ve been on the opposite end where I was the person acting immaturely but I was the one who ended up completely breaking off the friendship. If you can see no future of the friendship improving no matter how much effort you feel you put into it, it’s not worth it


Do you think it's necessary to cut ties if you're in love with your best friend but they said that it would never happen and you're not right for each other? I still like being his friend and being his friend isn't necessarily hurting me, but it's just making me very confused and a little sad

Katie true.  at least he is nice about it

Ali McCammack he's really nice about it and straight forward about how he feels and I think that's what makes it more confusing

doddlevloggle aw thank you for the thoughtful response you're lovely <3

Katie if they are being completely inconsiderate of your feelings then yes. if they are being a nice person about it then idk. but definitely if they aren't being good to you

+Katie I think that's for you to decide :P have a think on it. Chat to friends about it. If you feel like you're being damaged by them, then it might be something to consider. <3


It is ten months after this video came out, and it at this time applies to me. My boyfriend has lied to me, a big lie. And he does not care for me like I do for him. He has hurt me many times. I broke up with him about three weeks ago and it just keeps hurting. I am here for advice. I love everyone around me and it helps. I am trying to love myself. But I see him every day in school and it is so upsetting. I miss him. I miss being in a relationship. I’m trying so hard to get out of this loop.


It wasn't until she said "you might be crying right now" that I realized how badly this actually hurts. It's going to be hard, but I know it's for the best. This really freaking sucks!! A LOT!! But I know that I'm stronger than this pain and hurt. I will get through it, and it's all going to be for the best.


I'm not crying, I'm sweating through my eyes


this video is old but i love it. i had to leave a really close friend because they were toxic for me and it really hurts. i want to forget about them and im just torturing myself everytime i check their social media. i need to stop but its hard. we were so close and one day i felt like my whole world came crashing down. i had to leave them because they lied to me and picked on me but i let them do it. and thats the part that sucks. even though this is a lot for me, ever since i left my "friend," nothing can stop me. i feel so much better and i dont have to worry about them. theres a part of me that cares but i need to forget and move on.

i think writing this out really helped me to see what i want to do. thank the lord for this video and for such a great community that i can share my thoughts with <3


i'm becoming close friends with my ex.

she broke my heart into thousands of pieces and i was literally close to suicide. i don't know why us being closer feels better than being apart, but it does.
i'm so confused ??

I hope everything works out the best for you, whether things succeed in your relationship or out of it. <br>X

I hope everything works out the best for you, whether things succeed in your relationship or out of it.
X

update- she asked me out again, shes started to have feelings again in the past 3 months! and i didn't know! I have had lingering feelings i've been trying to shove back down for so long. I'm so relieved and happy.!

I'm exactly the same, yes she's hurt you, but you love her, and she's a good person in your eyes, she's changed you and shaped you into who you are. If you believe this is the best thing for you, then you do you, but hear yourself up for possible heartbreak in the future. <br>Best wishes

I'm exactly the same, yes she's hurt you, but you love her, and she's a good person in your eyes, she's changed you and shaped you into who you are. If you believe this is the best thing for you, then you do you, but hear yourself up for possible heartbreak in the future.
Best wishes


All my friends stopped talking to me because i was a toxic person. Its was hard because it was so sudden and i see them everyday in my class, highschool makes this incredibly hard, but i know i had to stop talking to them because i will continue to hurt them and they will continue to hurt me.


I watched this when it came out and now I’m watching this when it’s actually happening and I’m losing someone bc she’s choosing people over me and I’m a hurt thing


I need to vent, so here I am:
I'm in love with my best friend she knows, I confessed to her 4 months ago and it was fine, she said she didn't feel the same and I thought wasn't too crushed but I was. I recently texted her
'goodnight I love you' as a friendly reminder that people care about her because she struggles with depression and she said she was uncomfortable with saying I love you even though I had said on multiple occasions that (actual quote from my message) "I don't mean it romantically btw
I liked you but that doesn't mean I would do something like that
It would be childish and shallow" she keeps thinking everything I say is romantic. Turns out she now has a girlfriend. She deals with major depressive disorder and she refused to get help I would feel guilty about leaving her but i don't want to spend another minute getting discusteed looks from her and getting shamed for normal things.
I feel like I ruined our friendship, should I cut ties? Forever?


To get over someone: try your hardest to tell yourself that is over. That's the first big step. Reality check. This works with getting over a straight person, too. Especially.


What if you are alone? What if you honestly don't have anybody to talk to and don't have friends?

You have individual power to do everything else on the list. Plus, you know yourself better than anyone else, so you know how to heal yourself best. You got it, man. :)

Hannah O'Rourke such a good idea lol
my twitters @starstruckpml (sorry im a Dan and Phil fan)

also my names Hannah too 👍🏻

Hannah O'Rourke thats such a good idea! my dm is always open too - twitter is @thieuhh :)

You'll always find someone, maybe they won't fully understand, but people will be there eventually

exactly you guys we're all here for each otherrrr

Paul Kodiak the internet can be a good place to make friends! I'll be your friend :)

PersonYouDon'tKnow maybe we could talk to each other? Gc

You can always talk to me if you need anything :) It is hard but you just have to weigh out the good against the bad in the relationship :(

exactly! i have no one else and i dont know what to do about it. this relationship i am in makes me so unhappy and horrible, but i have no one else


I love her so much, she’s like a drug I can’t withdraw from, I feel like I can never love another girl as much as her, or even look at another girl the way I look at her. She showed me happiness, love, she picked me up, she gave me life, she gave me hope, and once I stood up, she dropped me, and now I feel like I can never stand up again. I watch her hopelessly as she moves on with life, happily like nothing, like we were nothing. Like everything she ever said to me meant nothing. Am I not good enough? Am I worthless? Am I incapable of being loved? She said she fell for me, she said she fell for me but she can’t have me, she said we can’t be together because of my religion, because of my beliefs, because of my broken family and the fact that her parents wouldn’t accept me. Is that love? I told her I would sacrifice everything for her and fight through anything to be with her and face anything, because that’s what you do for people you love, but she said she can’t take the risk of being with me if it’s not a 100% that we will end in happily ever after. She didn’t even give me a chance. I have the most pure intentions for this girl in my heart, I wanted to give her everything and do anything for her, make her the happiest girl in the world. She picked me up and threw me down. I feel broken, I feel empty, worthless, I wanna talk to her but I can’t anymore because there is nothing to talk about, it hurts me every time I see her, I don’t know if I’ll ever be fine again, like she took a part of me.


I know I’m late to the party, but you have no idea how much I needed to see this. I’m literally crying.I don’t know if you’ll see this, but thank you so much


I had to leave a friend not too long ago. I did the same thing a year ago until I went back to them. Never again will I do that. This is the time I cut ties off and leave it that way. I still have trouble admitting I was emotionally abused and once my brain admitted this and I stopped lying to myself nothing really bad was going on I felt this immense anger I had bottled up for years. I was as  patient as I could possibly be the whole time. I’m surprised with myself at how I allowed myself to be treated in such a way. I’m having a hard time getting over my friendship. I think of it everyday. The anger has faded though and now I’m just kinda sad. I forgive her though. I always will forgive her no matter how she manipulated me. I’ll never let her know what she’s done. But now I’m able to go and do what I want and I feel free you know. I’m lighter. I’m happier and I have hope


This video is so fantastic but it makes me cry everyyyyyyy time :(


I recently cut ties with me (ex) best friend because she was making me feel horrible and bad about myself but now I have some of the best friends and even though I literally cried for a day I'm in the happiest place I could be  is so to everyone who's going through this it will get better


Found this so late but its exactly what I needed right now <3 thankyou so much


I couldn’t finish this video but I forced myself to do that ... yeah I’m over the cries and the grief because my tears dried up .. I got over her but people around me keep asking me about what happened assuming that I did something wrong to her because she spread rumors and I chose to stay silent in respect to the friendship we had.. my grades used to go up like 98 out of 100 but now it’s starting to go lower ... I never missed any school day but now I at least miss 1 day of school per week ... I barely sleep and I get black under eyes so often that I think it became permanent... every time I see her I try to avoid her ...she doesn't care and even tries to walk beside me so she can show me that I'm a lonely person... I have no friends that I can speak to ... she was my only friend but all she did is make me feel embarrassed that I had no friends.. she told me that I was scared of being alone which is kind of true ... the nightmare that I was running from had caught up with me and wrapped me into its darkest whole ... I hate that she is happy after what she had done to me .. how can she forget what she had done? ... I’m speechless... I’m surrounded by eyes and glares that haunt me through the night... their whispers pierce my ears as they talk about me... their looks that shreds my pride into pieces... I am no longer the same person I was... I am not worthy of living anymore...

 So why am I not dead by now ?


I want to get over this girl. She never really did do anything wrong, but she had told me that she doesn't feel the same way about me. I don't want to keep hurting myself over this girl but I also don't want to just cut off contact with her completely because we have an alright friendship and my life has just about completely revolved around her for the past couple months. This made me feel a bit better, re-watching some of your videos always make things feel alright~


I feel so weird watching this video  because earlier today was internally debating on whether to cut ties with this friend who's done nothing friend like recently


Okay but I really really needed this rn. A week ago I was broken up with and today would of been our 1 year. It hurts but it’s good to see things from her view. I was given no closure, nothing. That was it.


If you need to, forgive. It helps. But make sure you are ready, it will probably take a while ❤


I'm crying now😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭it's so painful but I'm trying, and it IS getting better. Know that you're not alone.


One thing to add is to forgive yourself if you slip up. But don't feel like it's better to be in the storm/mess, remember if you fall down 7 times you have to get up 8 times. Lastly one other thing that helped me is not to be consumed by the hate and the anger it's alright to feel angry but it's more helpful if you let the anger 'clean the cut out' and use self-love to heal it. As Whitney Houston once said "learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all". It will be a lot easier to heal if you are kind to yourself rather than being angry <3


i thought you were actually cutting real manly ties and talking about how to get over someone but i am pleasantly surprised and very wrong

jennimoo this is something amandaschronicles would do

same here, i wouldn't mind watching that tho aha

jennimoo ok i wasn't the only one to think this and i'm not insane well that's good

Haha I thought the title meant how to cut a ribbon tie XD

I'm glad I'm not the only person who thought this


after breaking up with my ex after being on and off since may, i really needed this video. i don’t think that i will ever stop loving her. but we’re both gonna wait until the pair of us are better until we talk again. it just hurts the most because she was my first everything&the only person that promised me that they wouldn’t leave. but she did. i still love her and i never will stop. it’s gonna kill me to know that she’s moved on with someone else, but it’s for the best. i hope and pray that our paths meet again one day and we date forever because i genuinely think that she is the one. if you wanna talk or become friends my snapchat is michaela.swales


I know this video was a while ago and no one is going to read this but this might help you in step 3, having an end goal. You were in a toxic relationship. You would of had to end it at one point. Don't hold on to them because eventually you are going to realize again that you have to cut ties, and it will hurt more the second time. I hope this (even though it's barely anything) helped someone. Bye bye!


I'm just about to breakup with my gf this helps so much thanks Dodie


ily dodie. glad i still have this saved.


I have a problem. One of my closest friends is in a lower grade than me. I know a lot of people in every grade. She (the bff) said that these two girls were Extremely mean to her. starting crazy, hurtful rumors, ignoring her, stuff like that. (She also asked me to not tell the people being mean that she told me they did that) The girls are my friends, but we're not that close. I can sort of imagine them being mean, but it's hard. Should I just cut ties with the girls I'm not that close with, because I do trust the other, closer, friend, or should I talk to the two girls about if they did that my bff said they did?

sit and have a chat with the girl that's getting treated like crap. only she can have a firm say in this situation...and if u both come to a conclusion...which u will, eventually, just talk to the other girls about how mean they are being. If they take it in the right sense, then u get to keep all your friends. If not, hey...you atleast figured out who is being toxic, right?

Alyssa Morgan Tell her that you know the girls who are hurting her, and ask if you can pretend you found out another way.

Alyssa Morgan I don't know if this will be helpful at all, but I'm in a similar situation with one of my friends, and I sat her down and asked her what she wanted to happen. There wasn't much I could do to help when she asked for it because of who she had conflict with but I talked to her and we found a temporary solution. Basically, I think that most of all what your close friend thinks should happen matters, so talk to them about what they want, since this is about them.

Alyssa Morgan If your closest friend told you not to tell anyone, then you should listen to her. If she wants to do somethig about it, you will be by her side, but it has to be her decision


I would have done this if I watched this a few months back. But looking at my life now, I would say I didn't make a completely bad decision for sticking around. Me and my (former) boyfriend broke up officially and we had one or two days off without any contact with each other, yet when it came to closure it was all really good. We are really good friends now! But I do feel that yearning and longing sometimes. I guess I just have to deal with it and let it go when I'm ready.


some friends aren't worth keeping but that's ok sometimes you have to let go 🌹


I watched this in a time of need coincidentally the same time you posted it and I became friends with one of them again and now things are starting to be how they were before I cut ties/they said extremely rude things to me so here I am again...


Okay so almost two years ago, i received a birthday present from someone that I no longer talk to for various personal reason and it's coming up to my birthday and I still have this present and I need advice on what to do as the gift reminds me of how good things were between us back then and then I'm reminded of how different things are now and it still hurts me to look at said gift. Any advice ? Update: almost a whole 24 hours later, I now know what i should do about it. Thank you for the vid Dodie, this is one that I come back to when something's happened or when I have a big social decision to make ❤


It took me a loooonggg time to break up with & get over my ex because I was scared, I didn't have ANY close friends that I could go to and complain or hang out and have fun, but in the end its all worth it, I'm so much happier now.<br>Even so, I loved this video so muchhh...

It took me a loooonggg time to break up with & get over my ex because I was scared, I didn't have ANY close friends that I could go to and complain or hang out and have fun, but in the end its all worth it, I'm so much happier now.
Even so, I loved this video so muchhh...

@catnipevrdn No problem, That really sucks :( Im sorry thats happened to you! I generally just tried to do the things that I enjoyed doing, and it's hard to do after loosing someone but if you have a hobby that you like doing then try and get involved in it as much as possible, for me it was art/painting/drawing/making youtube videos..
If you can, try and find friends online or join a community, it can be hard but its a lot easier to make friends online that in person, especially if you have a hobby or passion in common..
Being productive, for me, was one of the best things..

I hope I helped..?? Sorry if this is useless for you, If you want to talk about anything feel free to message me on youtube or somewhere else?? Best of luck ;////;

AmberAndGolden i dont mean to be rude or make you uncomfortable but since you didnt have friends to go to after the break up how did you deal with it? cause im kinda going throught that,actually i had to cut ties with the only person i considered my friend and its lonely af and whenever i try to get close to other people i keep comparing them to her and thinking that its not gonna work and it feels awful but i dont know what else to do


What if you have a toxic sibling? I have a twin sister who makes my life really difficult. Sometimes I kind of like her, but then she’ll go and attack everything about me, and she takes all her insecurities out on me. I used to want to help her, but it’s like she doesn’t even want it. In the end she makes me feel awful about myself. She knows what she’s doing, and eventually I end up attacking back, and it’s just an awful cycle that’s been going on for years. How would I even cut her out of my life? We’ve tried to talk it out before, but it never lasts. Because we’re twins we always end up ‘sharing’ friends, which upsets me even more because it means I have to hang out with her more. I don’t remember the last time I talked to my friends one on one, because we are always together. We go to the same schools, live in the same house, ride the same bus. Sometimes we try to hang out but it ends up with both of us wanting to kill each other; there’s no escape. I don’t know what to do anymore. This relationship has been messing with my life since I was fourteen.


its cruel & funny, how at the date this video was upload & seen by me i was like "man, sounds so hard & difficult, I can never even imagine myself passing for that with the love of my life, I don't wanna do that... in fact i'm not gonna do it causes that is not going to happen" y felt sad and cold... but distant from it.

...now, july 2017, after almost 2 months since break-up, youtube poped this again & man... wow, so much wisdom (hard wisdom, the kind that seem even "Not possible"), so much harsh & tuff & cold in reality that how it was in the thinking...

...sorry for the long comment, im just in a bad day, where i've been feeling that "its not possible" it hurts more than it should, but this gave me hope, cause some of those steps has already been walked, so... thank you, in days like these, you just want to feel listen & understood by someone else and you did that for me.

Cuddles.


I love dialogue and I learned a few months ago that that’s the best way of fixing problems, specially emotional ones with people but the thing is, my so called friends are making me feel really bad right now, putting me down emotionally and one of them is being physically aggressive for the past weeks and I just can’t talk to them cause when I try they just laugh. I really think it’s because they are males and were taught to not be emotional so when they are hurt they just repress it, but that’s just not how I work. I think i’m gonna just slowly disappear from their lives cause I can’t take it anymore, it’s been like this for over a year. I know writing all of this in a youtube section isn’t the best thing I could have done about it but I really don’t trust a single person and I haven’t been to the therapist for so long now. Sorry about that.


I have 2 friends. 1 of them is very toxic to me.. I just don't know if I can't live without him but I can't live with him too.. This is hard

Joshler hey, sorry i'm a little late i'm just here to sympathize. i'm in the exact same boat, not many friends (2 near me but 2 others that are like long distance friends) and one of the friends happens to be my ex. for certain reasons he decided that it would be best to kick me out of his life. i can't be mad at him, but i am so very upset. we can both get through this as hard as it is. get rid of the toxic friend and find yourself and then you'll find new people.

Joshler, I'm literally in your seat right now.<br>Unfortunately I've been stuck in this seat for the past year and a half trying to figure out what to do.

Joshler, I'm literally in your seat right now.
Unfortunately I've been stuck in this seat for the past year and a half trying to figure out what to do.

Joshler I understand. The only "friend" I have at school is very toxic and negative about everything. My other friend is technically a family member but that other friend is there for you to lean on and maybe your family is too. I know what it's like to feel alone, and I see why you're hesitant to cut ties. I'm doing the same thing and I'm not looking forward to being alone at school. If you ever need a friend to lean on, message me and I'm praying for you😊

if this person is no longer bringing happiness to your life and you have already talked to them, gave them a second chance and they kept being toxic to you, it means is time to move on. Youre not being a bad person for cutting ties with them, you are taking care of yourself and you deserve people that respect you and praise you not people that bring you down. If you havent already try talking to your friend, maybe they dont even notice they behave like this. I wish you all the best, im sure you are going to be able to get over this situation :)


i watch this everyday to become stronger but doddie can you make an updated version


I’m really lost right now. In my situation, I’ve had a crush for months, but she never knew I liked her, and I just wanted a relationship. She’s not really with me on a “spiritual level” though. She believes in things I don’t, which will become a major issue in the future, so I decided to not even ask her out. I just stepped back because it wasn’t meant to be, and I can’t deal with that. I’m trying to find a way for this video to apply to me but all the tips will leave her confused, like “why did he unfollow me?” She isn’t even toxic and she isn’t aware I had feelings so there’s no way I can cope with this without accidentally hurting HER. I need help please!! <3


the thing about closure is crucial. really. i didn’t get closure. when my best friend and the person who made me believe they loved me, which made me love them, texted me late at night and told me that he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. that he hated me. without the closure i needed to move on with this and just let it go like he was suggesting, i kept trying to talk about it. it resulted in me getting more hurt each time.


@Cait  really needed this today. just lost a bunch of friends and don't really have anyone. thank you.

I think it's way more comforting for people giving advice to be like; "Yep. You might not have anyone who cares about you right now but that's not an excuse for you not to care about yourself." Because some people truly ARE alone- but even those people are still going to be okay.

Tanaka Ree I don't like the kind of people that are like "you have supportive friends and great people around you" it just makes me feel that people never understand anything

I'm sure you'll meet someone great soon <3


You are so good at giving advice like agh i wish i was as knowledgeable as you gawd


how come have i just discovered this video nor how much didn't I realise that i need this even after hearing the same advice many times 😭


Ohh myy godddd!.. I've literally done all those procedures already ... But still was feeling kind of guilty cuz he at last actually texted 'your wish' when I texted that last closure message... I thought  I am gonna regret it..as it's my decision on whole.. I cried for 2 days straight..but this video clarified everything... It was not my decision.. it was SITUATIONAL.. where he & his toxicity was absolutely involved..making me feel bizarre about myself for 3 years straight! Too much! I did the  right thing.. even tho I'm sobbing RN.. but now IK.. I'll heal even if it'll take months.. Thank you so much for such amazing video & all the other persons in comment section for sharing your anecdotes... Every little word was too supportive..❤


Dose anyone else do this when im not around him i would just say get over him but when i see him i just fucking get excited

Thank you dodie


i just dropped one of my friends that I've been friends with got years and i needed this video thank you so much


i tried following all the advices and put in a mindset to be able to deal with the situation i'm going trough, i just want to let this go somewhere cause sadly i don't have anyone right now to listen to me, i'm sorry if it gets too sad.
this year i came to a new school cause i was having problems in the old one, i really thought that the one i'm at right now would be a lot better and that i would have a lot of new healthy friendships, but i was wrong. i've met three girls and at first it was really nice, they were nice to me and they seemed to like me, i was so so happy cause at the time i was cutting ties with another toxic friendship and i felt like these girls were a good thing in my life. after 3 months it started to feel different, it was little details like ending sitting with someone i don't even talk to cause they didn't remember to save a place for me in class or just watching something in their phones and not showing me unless i asked to, it got me really upset but i kept going cause i was so depressed at the time that even if they were mean to me i'd take it cause i was completely alone.
the thing got worse, there was times when they answered to my messages being rude and i told them to not talk to me like that cause i was being nice with them, but they told me that it was just me, that they weren't being rude or anything, ofc they didn't apologise for making me feel bad or having that interpretation of their texts even if it wasn't their intention, i mean why would they apologise for a misunderstanding when it's better to say it's my fault yknow.
so, it got worse. i remember one day that one of the girls had to go home to pick up her lunch and it's really close to school so we went there with her, but then the other 2 girls wanted to left and don't wait for her. of course i was, idk mad? cause we were supposed to wait for her and they wanted to left, so i waited there alone and when she came back she apparently told the other two girls to leave. at this point i was really mad cause they were being so unnecessary rude and it got me so upset that they didn't really care abt her to not wait just 5 minutes and leave even if she told her to do so. after that we went to get our food and when we finished eating i got up to go buy ice cream, and when i came back they told me that they wanted to talk w me. they said there were things they didn't like abt me, that i get mad abt everything so easily and things like that. i still think abt this to this day cause i can't believe they really punished me for being just nice and wanting them to be like that with me too and to not exclude me from their stuff, for just wanted them to be EDUCATED and at least wave their fucking hands when we're saying goodbye, they don't even do that.
i've decided to get them out of my life today cause it's getting too toxic, i discovered that they had/have a group chat and they've talked shit abt me several times, today was the birthday of one of them and she didn't invited me but the other 2 girls went, i was even afraid of asking if she was going to do something cause i knew she was capable of excluding me to that level, i even didn't went to school last tuesday cause i we had a fight and i was so hurt and sad that i started crying before getting out of the car and it's even worse when i KNOW she doesn't care abt me, she doesn't cry or gets sad when we fight cause she likes to do all those things to me and i hate her for that.
idk how to end this but it's late and im tired, sorry if this isn't well redacted or something english is not my first language and i don't want to check up if i misspelled something cause i might cry lol. also, sorry for doing this so long


I'm doing that right now with two people...it's so difficult because you always recognise their lack of presence, and at the same time you always feel bad for prioritising them over others...it hurts so badly


I'm in love with someone who I've been with for 3 years. I'm so in love with him, but he's hurt me so many times and I always forgive him, always. He claims he loves me too, but I know deep down he doesn't, but stupid me fell in love with a horrible person. Thank you so much for this video. 😢💖


God this is exactly what i needed thank you


how come it seems like sometimes boys can get over or push over a relationship or a girl or a situation so easily???

i know this is over a year old, but I just wanted to say that we do indeed hurt, and while I’m not sure about other guys, I would certainly be mourning over cutting a toxic friend, even if they were ruining my life. as dodes said in the video, it’s like a cocaine addiction; you feel lonely, dead, and moody all the time. it’s just that most guys barely show it or reveal it.

Trust me they cant... atleast all of the time... - A Male

Not really, I cried everyday for months before getting over her.

believe it or not, guys can feel too. they just don't show it. same with me, haha (although i'm not a dude). guys don't like expressing their feelings at all, but i'm sure they're hurting at some level. guys can actually be just as or maybe sometimes even more emotional than girls.


As soon as she said: " if you are crying, keeo crying." I just started to sob, tbh


I recently cut ties cause basically a friend I knew wouldn't forgive me for my past mistakes, like they had hurt me hard too, but I decided to forgive them, cause I really wanted things to work out for us, but basically down the line they told me they could never forgive me for what I did. So I knew they weren't healthy for me cause that's not what friends do to each other and it still hurts cause I really cared for them, but it was toxic and unhealthy.


So i haven’t told anyone else this cos I’m young and embarrassed about it and don’t normally talk to my friends about this and definitely not my family but I need to tell someone. So there was this girl I kind of met on holiday and for some strange reason I felt connected to her. I think it’s because she reminded me of another girl I loved when I was like 11 haha. That girl was the closest thing I’ve ever had to a girlfriend. The reason I’m finding it so hard to get over her is because I barely met her (we spoke like a few times). I knew her first name and before I even heard her talk I had that unexplainable connection that I couldn’t suppress. Anyway, afternoon few days, I left without saying goodbye, without any contact and just a memory of what she looked like and the certainty that we’re never gonna meet again. I like to think she liked me but who knows I guess. I just wish it turned out differently, like somehow I’d found an excuse to have a proper conversation or found out a contact detail so I could keep in contact at least until I got over her. Any help would be appreciated because I’m not used to this. I’ve barely ever talked to girls so never experienced anything like this before and I need someone’s advice or just someone to read this and reply would make it better.


My best friend has slowly been distancing themselves from me and I’ve finally realised that they don’t want to be friends anymore. It hurts so much because this person was the closest friend I’ve ever had and it just sucks. I only have a small amount of friends, so I just feel so isolated, but this helps knowing that I won’t feel like this forever and I’m doing the best thing possible