when || dodie

"I'd rather date an idea" is now my relationship status.

im listening to this on the night before my 17th birthday and sobbing

To everyone in the comments saying now you're scared of getting older because that one line in this song freaked you out:

I'm 27, and it's really not that bad. I'd even go so far as to say it's much, much better. Sure, society romanticizes being young because it's freakishly obsessed with youth and is terrified of aging because it can't face it's fear of death, but honestly? You couldn't pay me to be 16 again. You start recognizing patterns and getting to know yourself and why you react to things the way you do, and you start anticipating your own needs and meeting them before they even manifest. You are finally free to meet the needs your childhood home never could - if you grew up in that sort of home - and you can break old beliefs and patterns around this and discover newer, happier paradigms you never knew existed. You get wiser and see through bullshit faster and tolerate less of everything that makes you wilt miserably and you actually know yourself well enough to know what those things are. You start to develop self respect and self esteem.

I mean, there's lots of terrible awful things too, like lows you never knew you could hit and really weird brain states and awful roommates and unbelievably tedious bureaucratic processes. But. You won't stop feel like you are essentially "you," nor will you lose your idealism if you really refuse to unhand it to anyone. My only real advice if you're 16? Learn some hands on skills and share your interests with other people. The enthusiasm and time for learning random skills fades a bit if I'm being real, and the confidence to poke your head out and declare what you love will too unless you nurture it. Okay I'm done being a grandma love you drink some water bye.

dodie's music makes me want to live my life to the fullest and be in love and just drink tea with fairy lights and play ukulele and sing with my friends and just be so in love with someone and just be so happy

dodie: *opens mouth*
me:STOP MAKING ME CRY

When she says "I'll never be 16 again" for the first time it seemed that her voice cracked like she was on the brink of tears and Dodie, so was I

I'm 14 and it scares me when I think that in a bit more years, this adolescence stage of mine will be over. Albeit back then I sat and wished I was 9 again, now that I think about it clearly, soon I'll be wishing to be 14 again. I've got to enjoy the time that's being laid in front of me, before it's all over. Sure, there's a bunch of anger and sadness dwelling in our minds at this age, but it's all the more of why our teen years are so amazing. We're experiencing all types of new emotions, and how amazing is it to feel your mind mature? Ok well I'm getting really emotional and all over the place so I'll just leave.

I was 14 when Dodie released this song, and hearing it again at 18 really did make a blinding change in my perspective. I watched 15, 16 and 17 fly by and now I’m asking “when?” Despite knowing that those years of my life are over.

"Gotta get it in my head, I'll never be sixteen again" almost makes me cry. I'm 16 and I feel like I'm wasting my youth. I've has severe depression and anxiety for 5 years now which makes me isolate myself, I barely have any friends. I've never gone to a party, never gotten drunk, never kissed anyone etc like everyone else my age does, all I do is staying at home. It feels like everyone else are having the time of their lives while I'm just glued to my bed.
(wow that got deep lmAO)

I have goosebumps all over my body

PETITION TO MAKE DODIE THE VOICE OF A DISNEY PRINCESS!!!
Someone should do this!

I am now terrified of wasting my time as a sixteen year old

When you thought what you were feeling could never be put to words but then dodie comes along and voices it so nicely. I can't stop coming back to this.

"Oh, yes" by Charles Bukowski

there are worse things than
being alone
but it often takes decades
to realize this
and most often
when you do
it's too late
and there's nothing worse
than
too late.

listening to this as a senior in high school who is currently sitting and watching time being taken away because of quarantine

This is giving me serious Dear Evan Hanson vibes

this song.
“i’ll never be 16 again” i feel like i’m wasting my youth.
“memories painted with much brighter ink”
“it’ll be over and i’ll still be asking ‘when?’”
“am i the only one wishing life away? never caught up in a moment, busy begging the past to stay”
a summary of what derealisation is like. i’ve been living with it for about 10 years now and i can barely remember what life without it was like.
“i’d rather date an idea, something i’ll never find” every relationship or date thing (whatever idk) failed and, even though i would love to be in a relationship and even though there was nothing wrong with the people i dated, i was always relieved afterwards.
somehow, this song sums up the things i struggle most with. and yet, it makes me feel better as, finally, i feel less alone, i feel understood.
thank you, dodie, you’re wonderful 💛

I listen to this song when I have panic attacks. I don't know why but it calms me down and I love this song. It will forever hold a place in my heart even as I get older and even if these panic attacks stop.

Here ya gooo


I think I've been telling lies,
cause I've never been in love.
Everyone falls for the sunshine disguise, distracted by who they're thinking of.

I'd rather date an idea;
something I'll never find.
Sure, I'll live in the moment,
but I'm never happy here
I'm surrounded by greener looking time.

Am I the only one
wishing life away?
Never caught up in the moment
busy begging the past to stay
Memories painted with much brighter ink;
they tell me I loved, teach me how to think.

I'll take what I can get
cause I'm too damp for a spark.
Kissing sickly sweet guys
cause they say they like my eyes
but I'd only ever see them in the dark.

I'm sick of faking diary entries,
got to get it in my head; I'll never be sixteen again
I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love
oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when.

Am I the only one
wishing life away?
Never caught up in the moment
busy begging the past to stay
Memories painted with much brighter ink;
they tell me I loved, teach me how to think.

I'm sick of faking diary entries,
got to get it in my head; I'll never be sixteen again
I'm waiting to live, still waiting to love
oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when
oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when.

This makes me feel. So much. <3

as a 17 almost 18 year old, who’s last year of being a kid was destroyed by this pandemic and many other things, ive gotta get it in my head that i’ll never be 16 again.

I have listened to this song so many times over so many years and felt I related to it because time was going by so fast. However, only recently in a state of derealization, and Dodie saying this song is related to depersonalization and derealization, have I seen it in a new light.

It's not about wishing you were 16 without responsibilities. It's wishing back to a time where you were actually in the moment and looking forward to the future. Don't get me wrong, the best days are 100% in front of us. But if you are living in a fog of derealization, you just wake up one day and months have gone by in an instant. And all the things you looked forward to is gone because it was giving you anxiety at the same time and triggered the derealization and you were "taken" from the moment to protect you of it. Yes, you have the memories because you actually lived them.. But did you truly live them?

returning to say that this is still my favourite dodie song. the idea of wishing for the future but hopelessly clinging to the past, creating a false version of myself in my diary so i can look back and see through rose tinted glasses the ‘best years of my life’. the string arrangement too, it’s perfectly melancholy.

I first listened to this at 15 and never really understood the line “I’ll never be 16 again” because I always thought why would I want to stay like this. Now I’m 18 and I can’t believe just how much I’d give to go back to a few happier times. Growing up is so damn hard.

every time dodie says "got to get it in my head; i'll never be sixteen again" i feel as if i've beEN PUNCHED IN THE HEART

"I'll take what I can get, cause I'm too damp for a spark"
Every now and then a line from a song will hit you so hard that you find yourself thinking about it when you f about your day to day life... this line hit me right in the guts... I have listened to this song every day for as long as i can remember and I still get goosebumps. Only an incredible song can make you question your life and how you live it.
Phenomenal 👌

“They tell me I loved, teach me how to think..” This line gets me every time. It’s like it’s been so long since I’ve felt like an actual person that I don’t even know how to act like one anymore. All my emotions are gone and everything I do feels wrong. I have to use my old memories, from before I was fucked up, as a reference point to tell me how to even function in society.

I used to listen to this when I was sixteen, now I came back to this song and I'm almost twenty... damn... I'm crying

This is now my favorite Dodie song— WOW!!!

i remember watching this at 14 years old and crying because the age 16 scared me shitless.

i'm 18 now. it all went well. just here to tell you that life will get better.

The music is over before she asks "when?" for the last time. I have many favourite parts of this song but I think that last part is one of my favourites for sure! So well done! xoxo

i’m listening to this the night before my 17th birthday and my boyfriend broke up with me less than a week ago. the thing is, i have been in love and i’m wishing to go back to when things were better. this song’s accuracy is beautifully painful

I am so so so ready for the new version of this song on her album! March can’t come soon enough!!

it's been a rough couple of weeks for me and my 17th birthday is coming up more quickly than i realized. this song hits me in all the right spots and im crying at work rn. i love you so much dodie

I showed this to my mom and she loves it. This song made me feel a way I didn't know was possible I looked at the world differently. A song effected me that much. Thank you, dodie it really means a lot.

honestly, this song gets more relatable the older I get, which is a little frightening.

Dodie: * hits one note *

Me: I would die for you. you’re so precious. You must be protected smol bean.

Such a refreshing talent. You are going far.

I was 16 when this song was released. Now I’m 20, realizing that my youth is over and I’m an adult now. I’ve spent most of my adolescence dealing with depression, anxiety, and PTSD, so I didn’t get to have the stereotypical teenage experience. I find myself not wanting to take on the responsibilities that come with adulthood because I’m trying to cling onto a childhood I didn’t get to have. I remember first hearing this song four years ago and crying. I knew that I’d look back on those years and be sad because I didn’t get to live out “the best years of my life” like I should have. It still hits me hard, but I love this song nonetheless, and I love Dodie too.

i had to revisit this song after watching her video of depersonalization / derealization (the lyrics hit me like a truck more than ever)

going back to this version after listening to when in the ablum is... holy fuck

I first heard this song when I was 16. Hearing it on her new album all these years later really hits different

This song gives me chills every damn time I hear it !!!! So beautiful and sad and unfortunately relatable

the day we stayed up until 6am making snow angels unsure of our feelings is one of the best things to ever happen to me.

seeing you slowly fall for someone else right in front of me is the worst.

thank you for those beautiful memories. i know your feelings have changed but you will always be the first one that i felt the closest thing to love with. i left it until it was too late and im sorry. its my fault & i cant change it or do anything about it. this is my goodbye emily. you have my heart & you can break it a thousand times - i wont care because i love you. -A x

This wasn’t one of my favorites at the time it came out. A good song yes, but it didn’t make it onto any of my playlists. Now going through massive transitions, changing university, moving away from my childhood home, making new friends while old friends move away, this song really really hits different

i had a worse-than-usual mental breakdown over growing up last night (and i'm literally 16 what the heck) anyway, this song is really important to me because it reminds me i'm not alone with this entire hanging on to the past thing. so thank you dodie, you made my crisis slightly better. i love you so much and am so inspired by you every day. please never stop doing what you do! you're gonna change lives

these lyrics make me speechless

I'm gonna be 21 in 3 months and I'm sitting here, just missing the days back in fall 2017 when I just started college qwq I just want it all to come back: Having a job at the mall even though I was pretty horrible at customer service, collecting all the courage I could by talking to the cute boy in my science class, performing and writing spoken word at every chance I got, pushing myself into these uncomfortable situations to gain confidence, all the lovely classmates and professors I befriended. As much as I love life now, those were some prime days that I don't think I'll get again.
I know better days are coming, but ugh I'm just so reminiscent.

cannot WAIT for the reboot of this song in march!!!!!!!!!

For some reason this version hits different

"I'm too damp for a spark"
Melted

i haven't listened to this song in two and a half years, and damn it brought back a lot of memories. i listened to this song all the time over the summer of 2017. i remember crying myself to sleep so many times to this song. listening to it again reminds me of how much better I am now. yes i still have problems, and they are worse than the ones i had at that time, but the way i handled them back then was so unhealthy. this song is one of the handful that are time capsules for me.

this is an incredibly moving song, every time i hear it i start yearning for things that haven’t yet happened.

I was freshly 17 when the song first came out, now I'm 21 and couldn't relate more to this...

dodie, thank you so much for this song. i know its from ages ago but t really helps e nonetheless. i recently suffered from a relapse after just getting 'better'.
this song helped me express emotios, get back into singing and feel less alone. this song makes me feel heard and is genuiny just pretty! i wish more people could hear it and i wish more could feel how i feel when i hear this song.
i can confidently say, though still suffering from this relapse, im getting better 9just a little every day). thank you, dodie.

Feels like this should be in a theater production. Too good.

This is my absolute favorite song of yours. Because I can feel every single word in my heart. It puts my feelings to words so perfectly. I’m sure I left a comment a few years ago when I was 15, talking about how I felt, hoping that one day I’ll look back on it and realize how much I’ve changed. But I don’t think I have. I’m never in the moment, I’m always either looking back at the past or waiting for the future. I was happy once. I’m not happy now. I’m hoping that one day I’ll be happy again. I’m always in my head, reminiscing on happy times or imagining the happy moments I’ll have in the future, but never really trying to be happy right now. I though back then that this was just because of the major thing that happened in my life that killed my happiness, but now that’s it’s been a few years, I think this has become who I am. I’m constantly escaping to the past or the future and never living in the present. I think that if I’m ever going to be happy again, I need to try harder to face reality and live right now, no matter how difficult it is.

I love this so much. You can tell how much emotion dodie put into this. It sounds like something out of my head, like one of the things I write, and I think one of the reasons I love it may because it may be because it matches my style. The instrumentation is also perfect, and so beautiful, and that also matches me perfectly (I play viola). Overall, I have a feeling I will be rewatching this for the next few days. And probably be crying.

i have this lump in my stomach and listening to this makes me cry, which makes it better. thank you for this masterpiece

i didnt know this was an exsisting song till her audio book , which is GREAT btw listened it over 20 times

I remember when I was sat in your bedroom at 1am and we'd drunk too many drinks and you played me this song and it was so beautiful I wanted to cry because of how raw it was. You never fail to make me proud, this was beautiful <3

her voice with those strings..... still goosebumps

This song sounds like it should be I a broadway musical!!!😍😍😍😍😍😍

i haven't listened to this song for at least 4 years and just now i randomly came to think of it, and i remember crying to it those 4 years ago, and cried this time as well

"I'll never be 16 again" makes me cry so bad, I'm 14 and I'm honestly terrified of growing up, everybody says that this should be the best time of my life but I don't feel like it and I'm so afraid of wasting my youth.

WHENDERFUL

Superbly written song, both in terms of musical composition, arrangement, and of course lyric content.

when i first heard this song i was in 8th grade and the lyrics flew right over my head. i'm back now as a senior in high school and i still have all the lyrics memorized, i just finally understand them now. i literally can't stop crying :')

“everyone falls for the sunshine disguise, distracted by who they’re thinking of” WOW

i remember watching this at 14 years old and crying because the age 16 scared me shitless.

i'm 18 now. it all went well. just here to tell you that life will get better.

i remember watching this at 14 years old and crying because the age 16 scared me shitless.

i'm 18 now. it all went well. just here to tell you that life will get better.

I remembered this and wanted to listen again, so here I am 2021, the night before my 17th bday, under blanket, not knowing where all those emotions are coming from

When I listened to this song for the first time, I was excited about my teenagehood and thought of many adventures and amazing experiences I will have. This year, I'm turning 17. The lyrics resonate with me so much now that I only have a couple of months left as a 16 because I just feel like I wasted so much of my time. I guess I will continue asking when too.

I REALLY LIKE YOU music and you're voice is so beautiful too

holy shit this is hauntingly beautiful

Whenever I hear someone wants to be my age (in this case, I'm 16) I ask myself "what am I doing wrong?" cause I hate adolescense and I wished it would be over. Not because I'm little and I can't do so much stuff I'm not allowed but because I'm dealing with depression and I blame myself for it. It makes me anxious when people tell me I'm wasting wonderful years doing nothing for myself and withdrawing from my friends (that I think aren't real friends), and I really hope I don't think like that when I'm older. I just wished I grew up thinking "I'm happy where I am now and it's thanks to the things that I learned in the hard times".
But there's something that gives me hope (and if you feel like I do, you should watch it). It's a video called "The importance of an unhappy adolescense" by the school of life.
But sometimes not even that beautiful video eases my mind.
I hope you have a great life💞

Violin notes for this?

The interaction between the vocal lines and the strings in this song is absolutely beautiful and completely genius, the composition of those two lines working and complimenting each other is nothing short of perfect

I love waking up, grabbing coffee, and listening to this wonderful girl's music<33

excuse my language - but holy absolute fuck this is so captivating. literally in awe.

This song really encompasses what derealisation and depersonalization does to my anxiety

Esta canción dice todo lo que no soy capaz de decir sin llorar 🙃

Thank you, Dodie, for your music that is just so REAL. Thank you for sharing your heart, happiness, and heartaches with us and for helping us find something special to relate to. You're making a difference in many lives. <3

This is an amazing song to cry to

U played this to me and melanie nearly exactly a year ago today (4 more days lol) and I had a very quiet subtle cry and here I am STILL sheddin a tear over this song

Tomorrow’s my 17th birthday so I shall commemorate my last day as a 16 y/o by listening to this song for the emotional angst woop woop

This hits especially different with the ongoing pandemic too :T

Why do you have to make such relatable songs dodie!?! now I'm crying, I love you 😘

I'm thinking of doing a dance to this? I'm not sure if I'm aloud to use the music but I'm gonna make it about a robot girl who wants to love but also has depression and hatred for herself that becomes over bearing but then she sees love can be anything just through her eyes x

This is my favorite song you've ever written/performed. You're phenomenal, I relate to this song so much, thank you for writing your truth and sharing it with the world. Your music has been my savior for these past few weeks, especially. I haven't been doing so well... listening to your music makes me feel not alone and I love you for that. You're amazing, thank you for everything you do.

I liked the bit where dodie sang and played the piano

Everything about this song is beautiful, Dodies voice, the meaning of the song, the emotion, everything;) makes me cry every time, thank you Dodie :)

i always come back to this. life really sucks right now i just need a good cry to my favorite song

this released when i was 14 & i understood to an extent, but now that i’m nearly 20? this song hits different. now excuse me while i sweat through my eyes some more.

Revisting this after the release of the new studio version ❤

"Never caught up in the moment, busy begging the past to stay" I'm shattering.

Wow Dodie <3 Your so incredible! This is my favourite song of yours, your so incredible and beautiful and talented, i really hope i can meet you one day! Your pretty much the perfect image of who i want to be when i'm older :) keep on inspiring everyone and being you! xoxo

We all want to grow up until we do.

Edit: 3 years later and it was just my 17th birthday, lmao I'll never be 16 again

quarantine started when i was 16, and I'm now 17. this is my new cry song

This songs just taken a new meaning for me. Ive just turned 16 a week ago and I've found out I might never be going back to school because the schools are closing this Friday and no gcses. The sad thing about it is I don't be able to say goodbye to my friends because I'm off on self isolation, I was sat crying for a good 4 hours yesterday at the thought of not going back. Me and my friends "will never be 16 again" we might not see eachother again, the finality and erasable reality is really scary, we cant go back. I know it's a small issue and nothing to cry over compared to the issues in the world right now but I can't help but feel upset at how this school year has possibly ended. If anybody reads this I hope that you are safe and well and that this little rant hasn't brought your mood down. Everything will probably work out eventually, it's just getting thought that's the difficult part. Stay safe, love you ♡♡

"I'm waiting to live; still waiting to love" that line broke me. I have all of these fantasies and dreams and things i want to happen, but I always think that it'll happen "eventually", rather than trying to live in the now.

Came to listen to this again after the livestream 💛

When anyone asks me, "what song best describes you?" this is the song I always give. From the moment I first heard this song up to now, no other song got me like this. Thank you, Dodie.

I listened to this song first when I was 14. I was sickly afraid of growing up. I didn't want to waste away the beautiful years of my youth. I'm now 18. I'm going to college in a few months and I had a similar crisis to my 14 year old self. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of growing older. Listening to this song reminds me I'm not the only one growing up, I'm not the only one having to live my life. And I can tell my 14 year old self that it's okay; you didn't waste away your youth. It was crazy and wonderful and awful all at the same time and I don't regret a thing. I hope my 23 year old self can say the same thing to me now.

thank you, this is helped me to see although it's not exactly like my life that there are people going through something similar. My childhood has just never seemed exist and my happiness has just disappeared, my life has never seemed to have happy smiles in it. Your songs are all I think about now and they have brought light to the dark dark world I seem to be stuck in. So thank you, as I probably wouldn't be here without you. Never give up <3<3<3

This is lovely, Dodie. I love strings.

PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS WITH HEADPHONES ON YOU CAN THANK ME LATER

I was not quite 16 when this song came out, and I am now 17 and I feel sometimes like I didn't do anything while I was 16. I know eventually something big and exciting will happen but it seems like I'm just kind of existing and waiting for a big "there it is" moment, yk? and I feel like this song captures that feeling perfectly

i keep coming back to this. when i was seventeen, the first time i heard this, missing my childhood. when i was eighteen, wondering if i should regress as much as i did, isn't it unhealthy? and now, nineteen, unable to adapt to all these new responsibilities -- of course i take care of my duties -- but nothing looks as good as it did through my five year old eyes. nothing looks beautiful. the novelty of this world is gone. and i'm wondering, when is real life beginning? the one people say is exciting, full of love, full of adventures?

I remember watching this when I was 14 I loved this song but I never quite related to the song so much until now. I feel like we have this idea planted into our head that when you are 16 that’s the best time of your life. That by then you should be falling in love and enjoying every minute of it when in reality sometimes that’s just not the case.

i remember listening to this right before i turned 17 and now i’m about to turn 20 and it still hits just as hard

THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS

This song is so beautifully haunting I love it.

I feel like this could be in a Disney movie

"I'll never be sixteen again" is one of my favorite lines, but it gives me chills to think about it in context with this song and Dodie's depersonalization, since she's said that she started feeling like she was in a dream around 17. Such a raw, emotional song - I listen to this and just cry. Dodie, this song is to me what "Novels" is to you. Thank you for this.

I struggle with dp/dr and dissociation and this helps me so much. Thanks dodie!

"am i the only one wishing life away"
dodie hits me every time i return
thank you

Listened to this when I was 16 coming to terms with my sexuality and realizing I was wasting my time pretending to be in love. I’m 18 now and alone but happier with myself.

i relate to this because i’m constantly wishing for the feeling i had during my childhood and since my memory is so bad it feels like an old and dear friend is dying and i can’t handle it bc my present is so much more desolate than my past. depression sucks ass

i can see Dodie as a disney princess who doesn't have a love interest but she has a little animal companion and writes songs on her spare time

this song always brings me chills. it’s so amaZING!!

I was 16 when this came out. I'm now nearly 21. Strange, time actually exists lol

Dodie, you saved my life. This song just changed me. Please continue writing songs. You uploading makes my mental health improve. Thank you for saving me <3

"I'll never be sixteen again." Such a beautiful piece, Doddie. T_T <3

Re-watching multiple times: so beautiful song; I love it so much!!! xx

coming back to this as an 18 year old after having listened to it religiously being 15 hits different

It's been a while since I've listened to this song. Meant a lot to me in high school. I felt like a background character in my own life, for multiple reasons. And I didn't see a way to live beyond that, even with the love of my partner/datemate/whatever gender-neutral word you want to use.

And then college started. I had the space to be a full person for once, and lots of people around me liked that full person, and they wanted that full person to be around them.

Then my mom died and I pulled myself back into a shell, and when I tried to be a full person again, COVID happened and we had to start social distancing. Haven't physically been around my friends or partner in months.

Discord servers and Zoom calls are okay, but it's so hard to not truly be present with anybody after finding out how good it feels. It's even harder not knowing when I'm going be able to be with the people I love again without hurting them in the process.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just a random 20-year-old, listening to a song that made her cry when she was 16. Had a chance to live and love and now I'm asking when I'll have another chance. Funny how that works.

I am currently 16 and I relate to this

Oh my gosh! I love this. You are so precious, Dodie.

it’s currently 2019 and no other song could compete with the utter art that is this song PERIODT

THIS SONG MAKES ME CRY!
I can relate so much! Its crazyyyy!

one of my new favorite dodie songs :) can't believe I haven't heard it before!

MY EP COMES OUT TODAYYYY ALL AROUND THE WORLD

this song hits different after you come out as a lesbian after having exclusively male relationships and constantly being confused about your identity

A superb piece of art! Soulful and smart.

Her voice is honestly both amazing and soothing

2:11 this part is not from this world😍😍
Even Steven Wilson couldn't do this better.

i'm turning 16 in just under 10 minutes, it felt fitting to go back to this. i've seen this song live twice, and no matter how many times i listen to it i always break down at 'gotta get it in my head, i'll never be sixteen again'. growing up is so scary? i'm goingt to be closer to 20 than 10, which i hate. i feel like i'm wasting my teens, and i'm not getting the whole exciting coming of age story that everyone seems to expect. idk i just feel weird and apprehensive about what's going to come next. sorry for ranting i just needed to get this out <3

I’m going to make my sister listen to this the night before her 17th birthday

the album version just doesn't measure up to this one. maybe it's the fact that i had nearly half a decade to cry to this version on loop

it's been 4 years, and I've come full circle to feel like this again

...What is this.. this water coming out of my eye sockets?!??! DODIE THIS IS INCREDIBLE

i remember listening to this when it came out. I was 14 & never thought I’d relate to “gotta get it in my head, I’ll never be sixteen again” as much as I do know, 4 years later. I’m in tears.

Beautiful string arrangement and performance! Love it!

I was about 16 when I went to a youth theatre adaption of "Peter Pan" with my mum. It was not really about the creepy boy who invites children to his island where they take parts in questionably honorous fights, but more about growing up. More or less the play talked about the same thing as this song, living in future and past, fear of what will come, not wanting to let childhood go. I felt very understood, but when we left my mum was shocked. Especially when I confirmed having similar thoughts about growing up.

"But why?", she asked. "Growing up is so much fun! It's an adventure! You gather more and more freedom, you can decide your own life, be independent. I love being an adult."
Now my mum's adulthood has probably been a very happy one, she got to study, found a husband, spend at least half the time in a secure job and got three children. But she also struggled, was unemployed for quite some time, had to fight for her father to support her, studied one of the most exhausting subjects there are, and when she tells me about her studies, it is clear that she had much fun, but not really money to spend. There was already climate change, the cold war, high unemployment; loads of reasons to be worried. But still she tells it like it was an adventure and she is continuing to do so. Life is fun, life is there to be lived.

I find that admirable and I don't know why I struggle to see life the same way my mum does. Why I feel this song so deeply and constantly worry about the future or wish for the past to return. I wish I was more like her, I believe she has found the meaning of life.

it's 2018 and I'm still in absolute tears over this. I know that this isn't what the song is necessarily about but I can't help but listen to this song and think that this is me waking up everyday feeling the same doing the same routine with a face painted on to get through the day only to end up back in my bed wondering when I'll be able to feel alive again. Some days feels so robotic and I'm always wishing for the day I'll somehow wake up and be able to tell the people I've owed explanations to for the longest time of why I seem like today is never enough, and the idea of tomorrow being different seems like something I can no longer have.

I can never get to the end of this song without having to stop it and sob my eyes out cos the lyrics explain how I've been feeling for the past few years and knowing that I'm not the only one who's ever felt this way, is weird and sorta comforting in a way but it also brings a lot of emotions to the surface and idk if that's good or bad.

Did u just open my brain and sing it to me? Yes you did.

I almost forgot i had this song in my Phone. I'm relistening to it again ❤

This has quite honestly turned into one of my favorite songs of all time. Every time I come back to this song, I just collapse into tears. The honesty and the rawness is all wrapped up together into one song; it’s truly a moment that brings out all these emotions within me. It’s just so haunting and evocative, but it’s also so calming and soothing.
This song has even inspired me to start writing again and I’m grateful for that little spark of motivation.
Thank you for all you do, Dodie. I appreciate you so much.

im turning 16 in a month...im glad i heard this so i cherish what i have till its gone

i want dodie to be the voice of the next disney princess!

2:17 never fails to give me chills. I remember I first heard this song live and it was just the piano and I was, for lack of a better word, shooketh

I accidentally clicked this and it came on while I was on the verge of tears looking at myself in the mirror as I washed my hands, and it was such an important moment, fuck, this song is amazing

es la canción más hermosa que he oído :,) <3

I’ve come back here a few days before my 18th birthday lying on the floor at 3am in a state of shock that my childhood passed me by like this. I enjoyed it and didn’t take it for granted but I spent so much of it depressed and suicidal - and while that wasn’t my fault, I’m angry all the same. Existence is fleeting, and I am existential now I’ve been confronted by my own mortality.

im younger than 16 why do i cry at 'i'll never be sixteen again' gO D

Kate Bush wrote the song “The man with the child in his eyes” at the age of 15, there’s something similar going on here.

this song used to make me cry, now it shows me how much I’ve grown.

I remember listening to this song when i was 16, when i was in love, grateful for life and looking forward to the future, wondering if my happiness would last by the time i turned 20
Now i'm almost 20 seeing everyone around me so put together and organized, in loving and healthy relationships, and i'm the only one who keeps looking back, living in past happiness and asking when

This is so amazing I came by it on Spotify and can't stop listening to it <3 <3 <3

gorgeous

Used to listen to this on repeat, thought i could relate but now it’s really catching up to me. The most impossible version of yourself to reach is what you imagined yourself to grow up to be. 4 years, jesus.

i listened to this as the clock ticked over to my sixteenth birthday... beautiful

This song touches my heart and describes perfectly something I've never been able to explain. Thank you for this❤️

I had just turned seventeen when this video came out. Now I’m 21 years old and this hits even harder than it did then.

Dodie, you're the only person in this whole YouTube scene who'd I'd identify as a musician before a YouTuber. I know that other YouTubers try their hand at songwriting and performing, but you deliver so much more, because not only have you got your lyrics down to a tee, but you've also mastered the musical arrangement. I mean, that instrumental bridge from 2:11-2:51 sounds more like a film score than anything. It's sorta like a dark twist in an otherwise sweet song, which reflects the lyrics perfectly. The whole thing is absolutely flawless, and it shows how much you care about giving your lyrics the musical accompaniment they deserve. Bravo.

P.S. This is the first time I've commented on a video in like 2 years lol

i showed this song to my class for a project when i was a freshmen and i remember telling them that we so often wish for the past to stay. a few years later, i listened to this a few hours before my 17th birthday. the “i will never be 16 again” part brought me to tears bc i’ve always been one “begging for the past to stay.” T__T welp now i’m going to be 18 in a few months /:

This song is so beautifully simple and scarily accurate <3 thank you for making music, it helps me so much in expressing myself and honestly writing music

The line ‘I’ll never be 16 again’ gave me so many emotions

Oh man. I barely cry at anything even when I most feel like it. Even when I feel super emotional I don't cry easily but this one song was an exception. Just a lil tear was managed and I'm so proud. I love dodie's music but this is the first it made me shed a tear. :')

how does she not have 3 million subscribers, honestly?

This is my most played song on Spotify for 2017. Totally deserves it.

I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING

I was 20 when I first heard this song, and it broke my heart so entirely because I was so sure I had lost something or that I would never be young "enough" again, and growing up was fucking terrifying and lonely and I wasn't ready, and like Dodie I experience different types of dissociation that I didn't understand at the time. But it's been 3 years, and I'm starting to get there, back from 16, so much has changed and it's been hard and scary and I feel so much less trapped than I have felt in my whole life. You guys have so much time. You haven't wasted anything, you were where you had to be, and you have time

this song feels like winter to me and i'm in love with it and all the different feelings it brings

My god...
Found this in my playlist today. I still love it so much I could explode! <3
I hope Dodie never stops making music. It's such a food for the soul.

it hurts how much i relate to this song

my friends and i performed this for our music assessment, and it went amazingly! thank you, dodie, for such an amazing piece of music ^^

always will and forever be my favorite song. for how many times i've heard it, tears always come falling down.

thank you, Dodie

It's midnight right now which means it's my birthday which means I'm officially 17. I have to admit I had a big cry when you said "I'll never be 16 again."

Shit, this is the story of my life. Wonderfully arranged! Haunting vocals. 😍

I am in love with all your music Dodie. I'm bingeing on it this week for your concert. Much love, friend

This music gives me the chills. Great lyrics Dodie. I love you

One of the most relatable songs I've ever heard. Dodie has a way of reaching into your soul and vocalizing everything you feel through music.

Dodie, you probably won't read this. When I was listening to the ep yesterday, I realized something. As of the moment I right this, I am seventeen, even though I have only been seventeen for about 5 minutes now. And I'm realizing that all of my happiest memories are in the past. My choir trip, jam sessions, jazz camp, getting my uke, getting accepted to university with my friends, planning a future in another city with a few of my closest friends. I'm realizing that that excitement will never happen again. I think this song hit hard. I am waiting for so many things while still trying to go back to my few happy moments. This song means a lot to me, because I want to stop faking diary entries and stop waiting to live. Thank you for this song, because it's how I was living. I'll never be sixteen again but as of now I am seventeen and i will try to start to live. Even when I'm depersonalized and gone from the world, I will try to remember that I am alive and even thought my happiest memories were last year, even if I don't fall in love or live an amazing adventure, that I will have good moments. And even though his song fills me with melancholy and worry, I want to thank you for it. Thank you, Dodie. (im still in disbelief that the ep came out the day before my birthday)

"I'm too damp for a spark" is such an underrated lyric ❤

I come back to this every now and then, I just love the song so much.

i don't think i've ever related to the lyrics of a song so much. just cried for an hour

This sounds like something from a musical

Incredible.

I'm completely in love with this song in particular! I keep listening to the rest of your EP over and over as well. You're so talented and so lovely! I can't wait for all of your future albums!

OH MY GOD YOUR VOICE IS SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL IT MAKES ME CRY ON THE INSIDE! YOU ARE GREAT KEEP GOING

This actually the most underrated song EVER ❤️This means so much to me

Thank you Dodie, for making me realize something with this. I can't explain how much this opened my eyes on my feelings. Thank you.

I liked it before the music even started playing💕

Out of all of the amazing and creative and touching songs she has ever written... this song always makes me cry the most and it’s honestly in my opinion her best song

This song speaks to my soul. GOOSEBUMPS. The strings and your voice is GOLD <3

"I think I've been telling lies
Cause I've never been in love.
Everyone falls for the sunshine disguise, distracted by who they're thinking of."

me, who called myself bisexual for about three years in hopes that maybe one day I would fall in love and is now coming out as aro/ace: 👁👄👁

I always seem to find myself coming back to this song every few months. It's so sad how hard I can relate to this

This song is so beautiful!😍 I love it and the lyrics are amazing...

Every time I hear this I think: "Wow, two of my favorite things, Dodie and Cello"!

I obviously love all the beauty and sadness of this song but I can never unhear "busy begging the past to stay" as "busy begging the pasta 'stay!'"

Just hearing the opening for this song makes me want to cry it's SO GOOOD AHHH

"Sure I'll live in the moment, but I'm never happy here"

"Never caught up in the moment"

"Im waiting to live, been waiting to love"

"It'll be over and I'll still be asking *when*"


As a person who knows what chronic DRDP feels like, the level of relation is uncanny.

this sounds like it could be on the frozen soundtrack! 😊 i love you so much dodie 💛 xxxx

This is so wonderful! One of my absolutely favourites, dodie. You are amazing! And one of my role models <3

i've been listening to this song since it has came out; it was the first song i listened to on my 16th birthday. dodie has been a consistent part of my life for over five years; her music, even when i was too young to understand a lot of it, has gotten me through some extremely tough times - and she honestly saved my life, because her music made me feel like i was heard. but at age 16, this song has become my favorite again. i have always found comfort in the fact that 'well, at least i'm not sixteen. i still have time,' and this song really helps grasp my fear of growing older. i feel like i've wasted so much time, but hearing someone who is twenty, also feel like this, i'm sure that i'm not alone. thank you, dodie.

I'm not sure how I missed this when it first came out. Thank you spotify.

such a heart wrenching theme.

wow. i was 15 when i first heard this song. i am now 19 and still love it - although it has very different feelings behind it now

By far my all time favourite Dodie song <3

This is such a vast step up in production. I said it before but holy hell, this EP is gonna be huge.

I love this song ❤️ I can relate to all of your songs!!! ❤️❤️❤️

oh my goodness dodies voice with those awesome string I’m my heart is POUNDING

this song breaks my heart every time. its so amazingly beautiful but also so painfully close to home

this song killed me physically and emotionally thank you and goodbye

I'm just imagining Hazel walking in on the mini string quartet happening in the living room and just going "sigh, alright..."

If you're 16 and listening to this please enjoy it. You might feel like shit, but you don't know how much you'll miss it. Or maybe I'm just romantizing it.

one day before my 17th i was crying a lot listening to this
why am i not living my best life?

Beautiful written, sung and presented ❤

How have I only heard this now? ?I've just bawled my eyes out! This got me good in the heart ! 😢😢

This EP is gonna change the game

Every dodie song is a spiritual experience. Wow.

this was My song when i was 16, and now I'm almost 20 and i hate how much i still relate to it

I think this is my favourite song of yours AND I LOVE ALL YOUR SONGS

This song is so beautiful and underrated. When has the most amazing, relatable and true lyrics everyone feels. "Wishing life away, never caught up in the moment, busy begging the past to stay."
I feel like this all the time, and I'm sure we all wish our lives away, especially when we're young, and don't realise what we have until it's gone. Musically, this song is also genius. I think Dodie composed the parts for violin and cello as well. It's sad and nostalgic and soft. It's raw. My favourite part is the bit where the key changes and it goes all dark and strange and you get goosebumps even if you've heard it loads of times. Honestly, this song is a masterpiece, and will always remain a favourite of mine.❤

I'm not even sixteen yet but I relate to the song. Yeah I'm like 2 years old I haven't lived life blah blah but I still get nostalgic. To times when I was actually happy

This song, along with Party Tattoos, helped me realise how to stop wishing to be beautiful and talented. All your songs have taught me self love and I know this is cheesy but I need to say thanks because from the place that you brought me up from, my life could have been in danger. Thanks to you, I love myself. You saved me. 💖

This is so GOOD!! I love Dodie so fricking much


(Also this song really fits Lance Mclain :3)

This still remains as my favorite song you have ever written.

this song still makes me so emotional but not in the way it used to. I'm only just 16 now, and while things aren't perfect I'm a lot happier than I was when I first heard this song. to anyone who is crying to this song because they're afraid, i promise you it does get better. you still have so much time, you haven't peaked and there is SO much you're going to get to do. hang in there <3

why do i relate to this song so !!! much !!! like im just waiting for things to happen but it's like i need to make them happen bc no one's gonna do it for me ugh

This is honestly the one Dodie song I can relate to the most, you are a beautiful soul girly💕💫

I've played this song so many times, I love it so much

Still one of my favorites from dodie! 💛

Just hearing this for the first time....I'm blown away how beautiful and haunting this is! Chills

I miss 2014. Sure, it doesn't seem that long ago, but so much has changed. Back then, I was so much happier and less worried. My parents didn't argue, or at least not enough for me to notice. My studies never stressed me out and I actually enjoyed school. Even my friendships were at its strongest, and conversations weren't hard to make. Piano still felt like a passion, not something I was forced to do. Oh, the things I would to go back. Sorry for a bit of a ramble. Long story short, I relate to this song so much.Thank you, Dodie.

This is entirely me. I can't believe how well you've captured all the same feelings I have into one song.

This song, I don’t even know how to phrase it, it flows through my veins when I hear it, so powerful, so amazing x

This song is slowly turning into one of my all time favourites. So flipping good.

this song is life :') I love your voice so much

Dodie, this is beautiful. So many feelings in such a short time, thank you for creating and uploading this. We need more music like yours in the world <3

i listen to this song today and get so much nostalgia. late bus rides home looking out the window through thick condensation. walks home in my big yellow coat and the street lamps lighting my path because the sun has set at 4pm. feeling of being inadequate and isolated from people who loved the most. christmas lights and snow days. i have this deep pit where certain dodie songs just surge up from and give me this sense of nostalgy

Omg I love this song soooo much!!its absolutely beautiful!!💛💛😭😭

this is seriously one of the most beautiful songs ever written. It's so wonderful to listen to and you're a great singer.

I keep coming back to this it’s the most amazing thing I LOVE this

Dodie, please please PLEASE share the sheet music with us fellow musicians! Love you and your music you are an inspiration to me and many others as well. <3

Absolutely beautiful!! I love it, keep doing what you're doing Dodie!!!❤️

i literally listened to this once and it was instantly my favorite song

1:56 - 2:05 cello part wow! 🎶😍

I’ve been on a dodie binge for the past 2 months. Is it healthy? I don’t know. Do I care? Not one bit. Carry on precious girl

wow Dodie... I've never cried at a song before, but you've done it. I hope you're proud of this wonderful masterpiece

wow. this is breathtaking oh my good god i’m in shock.
this deserves 10000x more appreciation and recognition

When the meaning of this song hit me, i started sobbing. I’m scared of growing up, I want to stay young forever.

Listening to this again as a 16 year old is a much more painful experience than when I was 13 wow. Dodie got me through some rough times back when I was 12/13 and in a state of perpetual existentialism but I was always reassured while listening to this that I didn’t really have to worry too much because I wasn’t 16 yet, and wouldn’t regret the time I felt I was wasting back then. Now I don’t really think like that, or at really tho that’s another problem, but the memories this song holds for me will always be really dear to me

Honestly, my fav song from dodieeeeee 💛💛💛💛
I just relate so much and I love the background music tooo
Gives me goosebumps

you're not a cliche and therefore I can actually relate to your songs and just thank you so much for that

Oh my this is gorgeous! 😭😩😻

This one is my favorite!!! Love you dodie!!!

happy almost birthday when! this song has helped me so much. thank you dodie.

I love it Dodie keep it up

THIS SONG IS SO PRETTY AND GORGEOUS AND ELEGANT AND EVERYTHING I NEEDED YET DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I NEEDED IT TIL THIS VERY MOMENT!!!!!! THANK YOU

"i think i've been teeling lies,
'cause i've never been in love"
that hurt way more than it should've

Everything Dodie does is just beautiful

honestly my favourite song from you and it feels like it just came out yesterday

I always come back to this and it always makes me cry, I feel it SO much

i can't stop crying bloody hell dodie this is beautiful (and this may be the billionth time watching but i'm still crying)

this song is SO gorgeous, especially the part around 2:20 where it has the haunting oohs, I absolutely love that section

I have this song on repeat <3

i first heard this song when i had just turned seventeen a few months prior. now that i'm 20 and feeling like i'm back in the same mental state as when i was sixteen, it hits so much harder

Relistening to this song bc it’s a bop, this year is a mess kinda wanna fast forward button and skip a year so just listening to every Dodie song

This is beautiful x

I may only be 13 but the amount of times I’ve cried to this song.. it- everything about it is so personal to me. And it’s beautiful

Thank you for getting me through a night of revision dodie

i first listened to this song at 14 while i was in an abusive relationship. i thought i was genuinely in love at the time but in reality it was manipulation and it left me with so much trauma. idk what being in love is supposed to be like and i'm honestly scared to fall in love now. but i long for it like crazy. listening to this song at 19 and now i finally truly understand

this song hits so deep as it’s literally exactly how i feel

Two days until dodie's EP comes out and I can listen to this basically 24/7!

this sounds so warm and pretty🥺

for some reason my heart breaks at the fact that compared to the stars, dodie doesn’t get nearly enough recognition. i mean all these pop stars or other singers, most of them, can’t write songs like she does? don’t get me wrong, i love taylor swift and ariana grande and all but their lyrics seem very thoughtless compared to dodie’s. every line seems so carefully crafted. her music is so dynamic. she’s creating magic which gets buried under songs which seem like repetition of other or the writer’s own songs. and the lyrics are not even half as thoughtful, creative and magical as dodie’s.

I relate so much it hurts...this is such a beautiful song💙

it's nearly been a year and I'm still in love with this song

I'm not even going to lie I'm blubbing like a big ol' baby

This is a brilliant song! Congrats!!! Well done!

This song gives me chills......and feels........

BUT IT IS SO DAMN GOOD AND ITS MY FAVORITE SONG OFF ALL TIME.

I love the line “memories painted with much brighter ink” even though I sometimes long for the past to come back, it wasn’t actually as good as I remember. I’d rather keep moving forward, though sometimes I forget.

i always come back to this song when i feel as though no one understands how i feel. a song has never made me feel as much as this song does. thank you dodie

STOP. I SHAVED LAST NIGHT YOU CANT GIVE ME GOOSEBUMPS LIKE THAT. IT HUUUURTS

Lyrics

I think I've been telling lies
Cause I've never been in love.
Everyone falls for the sunshine disguise, distracted by who they're thinking of.

I'd rather date an idea;
Something I'll never find.
Sure, I'll live in the moment,
But I'm never happy here
I'm surrounded by greener looking time.

Am I the only one
Wishing life away?
Never caught up in the moment
Busy begging the past to stay
Memories painted with much brighter ink;
They tell me I loved, teach me how to think.

I'll take what I can get
Cause I'm too damp for a spark.
Kissing sickly sweet guys
Cause they say they like my eyes
But I'd only ever see them in the dark.

I'm sick of faking diary entries,
Got to get it in my head; I'll never be sixteen again
I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love
Oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when.

Am I the only one
Wishing life away?
Never caught up in the moment
Busy begging the past to stay
Memories painted with much brighter ink;
They tell me I loved, teach me how to think.

I'm sick of faking diary entries,
Got to get it in my head; I'll never be sixteen again
I'm waiting to live, and waiting to love
Oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when.
Oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when.

I love your music Dodie!!! <3

I love this. It sounds like it belongs in Lord of the Rings in a way. It's dramatic and sad with just a hint of mystery and wonder.

I've listened to this song so many times but in my teenage moment just now the words finally lit up clearer than they ever have. It's so beautiful.

This song is so beautiful but it hurts so much just because I really don't want to grow up at all. I don't want the future because it terrifies me, I just want the glorified image of the past that I have in my head. But the truth is, it's nothing short of nostalgia and nostalgia is probably one of the biggest liars on the planet. The past is never as good as we think it is.

this kinda reminds me of when I had anorexia
it brings tears to my eyes every time I watch it, reminding me about what I did to myself for months

this is one of the most profoundly beautiful things I have ever heard

This song hits different when you are 16

This reminds me of an old Ellie Goulding song. It gives me chills it's just so beautiful, the lyrics really speak to me

there aren't a lot of love songs about those who aren't in love - for those who are lonely, wondering what's wrong with them, wondering if they are worthy of love. They aren't a lot of these songs, so Dodie, thank you for making this song for those who aren't too sure if they're good enough and for those who are waiting for when they stop asking 'when'. proud of you x.

it's been 6 months and I'm still in love with this 😍

This is amazing and sounds like Olafur Arnold's living room sessions

In a way, this song kinda describes how my love life went. I didn't really fall in love with the guy, I just fell in love with the idea of love.
I guess platonic love is more up my alley since my friendships always feel stronger than a romantic relationship.

This is beautiful. Yes to me putting this in a playlist so I can't lose it

THIS IS INCREDIBLE THIS MIGHT BE MY NEW FAVORITE SONG OF YOURS I'M SO PROUD OF YOU DODIE

My heart...my heart ughh...I love Dodie so much...I love this song so much...why is she so underrated?? She deserves a lotttttt ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

This song relates to me so much 😢

gosh this makes me cry every time i listen

I love this song. I think it sums you up pretty well, Dodie.

"I'll never be sixteen again I'm waiting to live, still waiting to love, oh it'll be over, and I'll still be asking when," ....... reading the lyrics of this song and relating it back to your depression, anxiety, depersonalization video on doddlevloggle, and I can hear your feelings in this music! its truly amazing, such great songwriting i luv u so much <3

this is a masterpiece.

I loved this!! Amazing!

I’ve never related to a song’s lyrics more. This made me cry 😭

this is my favourite song currently, thank you Dodie

Will your EP be on Spotify?

This is so painstakingly relatable.❤️😭

I'm listening to this the day before my 17th birthday bc it popped into my head...Now I'm crying bc I'll never be 16 again
Damn you dodie :(

I just turned 17, and i had months without listening to this. And God I'm in tears

an aromantic anthem.

i had so many feelings while listening to this song, mostly feeling of loss, and at the same time, not alone. i cried a bit in a few lines. I knew you really liked going back and thinking about the past, Dodie. So when you sang about "I'll never be sixteen again" I knew it was because you wished to go back to the age. And it's funny, and a bit heartbreaking, because when i heard the same line, my body reacted with a heave of relief. I reached rock bottom during that age, so when i heard it, it's more of "thank god i'll never be sixteen again". Crazy how life and circumstances work and influence how different everyone's perspective is. Thank you for this song.

I sing this and my friends think I'm strange cuz I'm only 12 and saying "I will never be 16 again" is strange😂

listening to this on my last night of being sixteen. thank you for such a wonderful song.

everyone crying over the line about never being 16 again, but I never really idealized that part of my life. but "im waiting to live, im waiting to love, it'll be over and I'll still be asking when" fucking shatters me into pieces I'm just always waiting to feel better and it seems like I never will

This is the most touching and most beautiful song that has ever reached my ears

I've been playing this on repeat :(

I listen to this song all the time since the day she upload it and I can't believe how much time has passed.. Thank you dodie

i relate to this song so much, it makes me sad that i cannot enjoy things after other fun things. i remember the day after the taylor swift concert i was super depressed even though we were supposed to be having fun that day

This is still my absolute favorite (tied with 6/10) because I just relate to it so much.

Homecoming was a few nights ago, and during it I realized how old I am now. I tend to live in the past, so it hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized it's no longer Freshman year, I'm going to be going to college in a little over a year. I don't like growing up, but I can't stop it from happening, so I need to get it in my head that I need to live in the moment.

dodes. i cant get across how much i love you and everything that you do. i just bloody love you a lot. you posess such unique beauty and talent that just makes me ponder everything and i always remember that no matter what happens i will always have your comforting voice and smile to soothe me and calm me when i an at my most upset. the breathtaking beauty of everything you do and say and make is just amazing to me. and i know you say not to idolise you because you are a problematic human like everyone else, but you are a very special problematic human to me <3. you're never going to read this but i just wanted to say it.
also, im bisexual too (im 12) and i can really relate you. you are an amazing role model for young girls like me. keep doing what you do.

Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of love from Evie x

This song is absolutely brilliant. "Memories painted in much brighter ink" is such an amazing and accurate line.

every time i listen to one of your songs i feel like crying. it's just a wonderful feeling! keep up the great work, dodie!

I was 16 when this song came out and the lyrics just hit a bit different now that I’m almost 19.

This is a very pretty arrangement with the strings backing it makes it so much better 😍

Dodie, please release the sheets for this masterpiece!

I love your music Dodie! Great job as usual 💓💓💓💓

My favourite Dodie song, one of my all time favourite songs❤

when she starts to sing the ooo's i get chills and feel like i wanna cry because the strings sound so fricken amazing with her and she sounds regal omg

This song reminds me of a dramatic realisation in the form of a beautiful song in a musical. I seriously listen to this song on repeat, it is so beautiful. Thank you so much

doddie has to be the most underrated youtuber in the world and that makes me so mad i can't even.

shit i turn 22 in less than a week and my heart is aching listening to this

i keep coming back when im at my lowest from time to time, from 2017 til now. i remember finding about dodie and her songs and found huge comfort in them, since i didn't know someone could feel the same way i do. sadly, even after the pandemic, i still feel the same stuck-ness i cannot seem to escape from. i know the answer is in me but i just... can't. im still grateful to now at least im not the only one

Amazing! Sounds great! Good job!

"I'll take what I can get, cos I'm too damp for a spark, kissing sickly sweet guys because they say they like my eyes, but I'll only ever see then in the dark." Dodie, once again describing what's happening in my life perfectly.

I'm 18 and this fucked me up. honestly, all of these are my thoughts and wow this is so relatable!!! I'm so scared I'll waste my life, I'm 18 and I have never been in love, I never had anyone in love with me, I never went to a party. what am i doing? I'm 18 but all these years I have only dreamed and never really lived

I love this song


Edit from a year later: God I miss 2018 it was so much earlier than now

the lyrics in this song are so powerful, and the piano and strings background arrangement adds to that level

This one gets me right in the feels!!!

This song is gorgeous and has helped to me to remember to focus on the present, and all the good things in my life.

Got to get it in my head; I'll never be sixteen again

hit me like a train

i’m just finding this and wow. it’s so good,, it gives me shivers

the more I listen to this the more I love it

This is my favourite song of yours!!

I can hear the keys being pressed at the start and it's like a subtle drumbeat its BEAUTIFUL

This piece is a showstopper. Thank you.

Whenever I hear Dodie's songs I just want to give her a big hug

I cannot get enough of this song! It's so beautiful xx

This has been my favorite song of yours since I first heard it when it came out. I listen to it all the time and always came up with one meaning for it in my head. But today I listened to it and it clicked that its about depression and everyone telling you that everything is fine when it's not. When you just want to go back to how you were, but you can't, because she is gone. I can't even remember what I used to think it was about but wow I'm crying all over again now. You are my favorite song writer and you somehow always have a song that relates to me at any given moment. Thank you for sharing your music with us.

every time i listen to this song it's like i'm listening to it for the first time. i still get goosebumps listening to this

I'm just imagining Hazel walking in on this and being like, "I'VE GOT WORK TO DO, DODIE!"

goosebumps every time

This has got to be my favourite song of yours

DODIE YOU'RE PERFECT I LOVE YOU <3

This is honestly how I feel a lot, dodie expresses it sooooooo well!! I've never known how to express it but this is perfect.
I probably shouldn't feel like this tho, i'm not even 16 but i dooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm gonna be 17 in a week and this song has kinda thrown me through a loop and I am really realizing that I don't get to be 16 again and that I am almost grown and I'm gonna be out on my own soon and that is just a terrifying thought to me but it is probably good that I am realizing it now instead of later...

this song means so much to me

thank you dodie.

A woman in advanced choir sang this song with such emotion, great song 😊

I bought a violin because of this.

I love the strings <3

Speaking as a songwriter: I have always wanted to write a song about wanting to go back and having that longing to even have that chance to rewatch my memories, but hearing this song, I couldnt have found a better way to express these feelings. These lyrics touch every bit of my emotions, I love your music, I think "Human" and "Would you be so kind?" stand right next to my new favorite song "When"

Speaking as a musician: The accompaniment for this song is so brilliant and captivating that I could close my eyes and imagine you high up in a tower, over looking the sunset on the ocean, it paints the perfect pictures along with the piano. It deepens the tone of the overall song, and it is amazing.

Speaking as a fan: Dodie, you never fail to amaze me with every song that you write, you make me want to pick up my guitar and start again. I'm glad that somebody is standing for the rest of us who may be too small or afraid to speak out. Love you always and I can't wait for the future now that I have had my moment of realization, thanks to this song <3

Music is real life magic <3

Thank you for this song, Dodie. Thank you so much.

am I the only one that relates to this song way too much?

Im waiting to love, when everyone has already been in like, many relationships.
I feel like somethings wrong with me,
because im told to live my life.
ive even pretended to love because everyone was talking about it.
and I was almost convinced.
I want to love, but I cant find anyone who gives a burst of color.

this song is still brutally underrated

will your ep be out before 2017?? where will i be able to get it?? i need it i'm so excited & this is beautiful & yes i love it

21 and this song is honestly me at all times. Painfully, painfully real. Here's to hoping I can soon open my eyes and stop thinking that happiness only exists in the past!!

This song is so beautiful. With the string instruments, the piano, her voice, and her lyrics just go together so smoothly and absolutely gorgeously <3

i feel like im constantly wasting my time and it feels like i will die tommorow, with nothing accomplished, a life denied by love. i know im just a ordinary lonely tennager but sometimes i listen to this and i think the song was made for me.

easily one my favorite of your songs.

I have actually been listening to this on loop for the last three hours, that's how much I love this song. DODIE IS TOO GOOD.

Instead of being afraid I'll waste my time now by making mistakes, I'm more afraid I'll do so by not making enough mistakes.
I just come here when I'm scared

this actually makes me cry its so beautiful

Oh my, this song makes my heart hurts. I relate, especially to to the f i rat two voices. And dodie's voice is to emotional and beautiful it brought tears to my eyes.

I absolutely love this song, in fact I preformed it for my talent show 2 weeks ago & the crowd went crazy for it. its on my channel if anyone reading wants to check it out. Dodie is a freaking musical genius & Im so happy I covered/preformed this song

If I just had an 8th of Dodie's talent I would be happy with myself

This is the type of music I wanna listen to eryday

I legitimately love this song.

Dodie this is so beautiful! I have nonstop been listening to your ep! Your voice is so pure and soft and I love you so much! When you make your full album I'm so getting it! I hope you have a lovely day, and just know you make me happy everyday.❤️

I looovveee this song!

Is it just me who thinks dodies would suit the John Lewis advert so well!? Amazing song. So excited for the EP!! xx

oh my GOSH i will never ever get over this song i love it so so much

It sounds like something that would be in a musical :)

Good ass vocals like these make me cry, they make me cry happy tears😱😭😆

WHEN IS ON BUILD A PROBLEM AAAAAAA

Absolutely majestic.

i can never cry with this song. i can only sit and feel a dull ache as the idea of this song passes through my head. it's too solid for my heart. i can't carry the weight. i can't.


damn it, dodie, how are you able to bear the weight of your own feelings?

I have never related more to a song in my entire life.

I remember the first time I heard this song. It was a bad day until I play it, you know? Like if you knew it and somehow tell me that everything would be fine.
This song makes me feel in a story I've never live. And, Dodie, you just don't know how grateful I am to you for incluided it on your EP. I just... can't explain it all.

4 years on and I still feel the same

First time I heard the lyrics, I thought they were
"Never caught up in the moment,
Busy baking the pasta,
Say never is painted in much brighter ink"
The actual lyrics are much more heartbreaking <3

that moment when you realize that dodie is your coping mechanism

I do my solo to this song for dance❤️

This is my all time favorite dodie song

How is this so incredibly relatable. My goodness I love it

Whenever i feel down,I listen to this and i feel much better! :)

You're are fantastic, amazing, brilliant, awesome, cool and great!

I've waited three years since I've found this song to say "Gotta get it in my head, I'll never be 16 again" and really mean it.

I love youuuu so much its ARGH and this song just hit me right in the feels. seeing how you can't go back to being sixteen again sucks (though I'm not yet 16) but then again, your diction is so powerful. U NEED AN AWARD FOR ALWAYS HITTING MY FEELS

Beautiful song and incredible mixing. Please tell me I'll be able to buy a physical version of your EP online??? I'm one of the weirdos that doesn't like buying downloads :P

this song hits my soul deeply in a place i'm extremely ashamed of

I'm obsessed with this song ugh dodie you've done it again you have made me cry on the bus to school.

Dodie, I love your videos soooo much, your voice is so amazing and you are so talented!!! I love your songs!!!(sorry if i said something wrong, im Brazilian and still learning english)

saw you on September 11th. still so amazed and grateful for what I got to see at my experience of you and Tessa’s concert.

THIS TOTALLY BELONGS ON BROADWAY OR SOMETHING ITS SO BRILLIANT

This song reaaaallyyy hits different now I'm older

this one has to be my all time favourite

Please please PLLLLEEEEEEEAAAASE do a VEVO video on this song!

I'm writing a book, and this song is the one that I imagine as the theme in the film adaptation. I play it on repeat. Thank you for existing.

wOAH DODIE ARE YOU TRYINg to KILL ME WITH THIS AMAZING SONG

This song....every time I listen to it, I feel like a warm blanket is pulled over me in the middle of winter.

So incredibly beautiful!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!😍😍😍😱😱😱😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕

An instrumental of this song would sound amazing.

this song makes me feel like i need to do more with my life and my youth but i dONT KNOW WHAT

"I'll never be sixteen again." I dont really know why but this lyric hit me hard. I just turned 16 a few weeks ago. I guess it just reminds me that i still have lots of things im gonna experience and i'll always be asking questions about anything and everything. Also that I should be fully present and live in the moment so that i dont regret it. I wont ever be as young as i am right now ever again. This is beautiful dodie. Its 4am and this helps.

Cello and dodie's voice... ahh my heart

The strings add so much........ so moving and beautiful

Pure art 💕

this is the most beautiful piece of art I'm crying

Honestly, 2:03 to 2:51 is unlike anything I have ever heard before. One of my favourite bits of music ever written. And I actually mean that.

i’m about to turn 17 in a few days and “gotta get it in my head i’ll never be 16 again” is really hitting me

I love this song so much it gives me life

I heard this song on the day you bought it out and today I finally didn't cry! - Just!

I relate to this song, but more towards the relationship stand of it. I really do hope to be in a relationship someday. I'm the biggest shipper you'll ever meet and all adorable romances just cause my heart to swell like a fluffy marshmallow. I've never experienced that feeling in a more personal way, though. I've never dated anyone and I rarely get crushes. I'm not extremely desperate to find someone, it's not all I think about, but things such as this song take me back to my current crush, my longing for the relationships I read about in books and see in movies. It makes me want more than ever to hold someone's hand and cuddle with them while watching a movie, or warm hugs after I've had a bad day. It's not about constantly dating people, it's just about the experience. Perhaps I'll never date again once I do it once. Perhaps knowing what it's like from more than works of fiction or examples from real life will be enough, but nonetheless, I want to be in a relationship at least once.

every time i listen to this i get chills and i cry it's so beautiful and i just love it so much

God this song is so beautiful, I’m crying

Does anyone know the piano notes for this? I’d love to learn it!

seeing this song live 3 days ago was an absolutely life-altering experience. dodie, you are incredible. seeing you live was one of the experiences i will never, ever forget

This is absolutely beautiful

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DODIE!

To the 16 year olds, a list of my regrets:
-Being too self conscious to openly like what I like
-Thinking rejection from a boy is the worst possible scenario
-Being too shy/quiet in general
-Not taking dual enrollment tbh

I thought 6/10 was the most relatable song I've ever heard...I stand corrected :) Everytime I hear both songs I get a feeling that cannot be explained, only felt.

Everything was beautiful! But let's take sometime to appreciate 2 of the hardest instruments (specially the violin) the vibratos were amazing... I keep on wondering my she keep using her bow tiled to the left instead of straight (I don't play cello... yet) ugh both so good!

This sounds like a Disney princess anthem but it still has like a contemporary feel to it! It's incredible!!!!

i was 16 when i first heard this song now im 21 and it hits even harder now 😭😭💔💔

2:43 Shaky bow strikes again. Amazing song!

This song makes me want to play my cello again.

Ok I wasn’t an amazing fan of your music before this wow, this is actually gorgeous

This should be a musical, like this is the end song and in the musical pas de deux should like be the main frame- the musical could be called pas de deux OMG THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN AGSHHSAGFH

literally have never heard more of a beautiful song

Whilst I'm having a mental break down this song started playing and I started sobbing so loud AHH

This song has so much meaning to me. I did a cover of it myself and ended up nearly crying my first time through, as I wanted to record it all the way through like she did. It just resonates so much with me, I feel like Dodie has a way of rewriting my life into her songs. Her words are so beautiful.

GOD I LOVE THIS SONG

Dodie, you will never see this, but I just want to tell you that this song has saved my life. I know that this is yours and for you but it rings so true to me and it's just the most beautiful, tasteful thing. I'm so proud of you and watching you and your music grow is lovely. All I can say is thank you really.

For some reason, I feel like this should be in a musical

Literally my heart is BLEEDING

My favourite part is 2:13 to 2:40, so beautiful and chilling

I cant ever stop listening to this song and the cello part is a part i want to learn so bad ahh so beautiful

I love this song dearly but I have to emotionally prepare myself so I don't break into tears, it's so beautiful.

i seriously can’t comprehend that this was 4 years ago. i wasn’t even 16 when this came out . and now i’m nearly 20. fuck. i was singing this thinking i could relate back then but shocker ! i wanna go back

I love this. I'm tearing up right now. As a cellist and a singer, I'm very happy to see this exists

"I'm sick of faking diary entries" ~that part gets me every time

this song is too damn beautiful, I feel an obsession coming on

honestly her songs are so beautiful. i love that she talks about real things and not just guys/girls. she is a true artist.

Left me with goosebumps and tears

This is my cousins fav song! :3

I've been stuck living in the past for a year. Turning 17 was one of the most upsetting events in my life because being 16 was the last time I felt I'm living. Regrets are all I have now.
But I have promised myself to move on. I have moved on, yet get pulled back in the same bottomless pit several times

I RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH! I often cry about how my life has passed by me and how i will never get that time back.

The orchestral part from "am I the only one..." to "teach me how to think" and the oohs is absolutely stunning. Those chords and harmonies are beautiful. This whole song is stunning.
dodie, this ep is just the beginning

sounds like it should be in a musical tbh it’s really good

Dodie your music speaks to my soul.

listening to this at almost 23 and really really missing when I was 16-20. I feel like I'm wasting my youth and I'm seeing all you actual babies in the comments, y'all have so much time ahead of you

eu te amo tanto <3

I felt like 16 was the only age I was good at and every year since I've been slowly drowning. I hate how much I relate to this and I hate that I feel like I'm waiting for my life to start.

i found this song when i was 13 and i just thought it sounded so pretty. now i’m almost 19 and terrified of losing my youth, of losing my time.
but we’re all still so young and there’s so many good memories ahead. we just need to hang on a little longer and we’ll see that 16 isn’t the last time.

This is probably my favourite dodie song. It makes me feel all kinds of things. I have chills all over my body from this incredible performance! The lyrics and the music are just so stunning.

omg. I'm dead. I love this song

I love this song I always listen to it, it will never get old because it's sooo true and relatable. We won't be young forever and we need to live but sometimes is hard to tell wether your doing what will make you happy. I love this song so much

Memories painted with much brighter ink. This is actually me. Memories always seem so much more beautiful than the real experience but if you always try to recreate memories you can never simply appreciate the moment. This is something I'm trying to learn, but its so much easier said than done. Thank you for that breathtaking song! Your music never ceases to inspire.

This song reminds me of that one dream I had where an old man was ushering people inside a building to escape from a tornado, but his mind processed things late, so he was swept up by the tornado, but was still ushering people inside.

this is absolutely beautiful

This song describes me so well right now. The past wasn't perfect, but I miss how some things used to be.

I'm sitting in my university library at 12:49 am crying and listening to this song over and over. So pretty, so moving, so true.

Dodie, you look really cute in those glasses, the song is perfect and your voice is beautiful. Thank you

This is. So. Good. <3

I'm actually crying this is beautiful.

...When you just turned 17 last week and this song is already super relatable

i absolutely love this song and it's been 3-4 years ever since i first listened to it. i still remember myself wondering what i'd be doing when i was 16.

and the lyric "i'll never be 16 again" hits lowkey hard for me, too. the pandemic started when i was 14 and now i'm turning 16 🧍‍♂️ two years have passed and i feel like i still have the mind and experiences of a 14 year old.

i'm so scared that i'm losing the best years of my life because of this virus. i'm waiting to live, waiting to love. i'm so tired of having to sleep through everyday and go through the same routine at home :( i wish it'd end, or atleast lessen before i even reach 20.

Hi Dodie!
Is there any chance to buy/get the sheet musics for the strings and the piano??
Because we (two of my friends and myself) would love to play the song in the exact same arrangement for our winter-concert at school!
And this song is so inspiring!!!! <3

as someone who's just recently turned 16 the 'i've gotta get it through my head, ill never be 16 again' line really hits me hard and makes me want to try and make the most of the rest of my teenage years. ugdhsjai this whole song just hits me so hard jesus