Dustin Padgett I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything while I’ve been in my worst state tbh. I tend to just not eat which Ik isn’t healthy. I’m so proud of dodie for being able to look after herself even when she feels so down because that’s one of the hardest things to do in my opinion
I can tell when I'm in a bad state of mind because I get the urge to go and buy bags and bags of candy. Just sitting on my couch, watching netflix and eating candy all day
Dustin Padgett life hack: if you’re constantly depressed, put healthy snacks at the front of your fridge so you’ll eat those and not an entire jar of peanut butter
Lilliana when I’m in a really bad place I either don’t eat at all or eat too much. I gained too much bcuz of it and then I started feeling insecure about my weight so I stopped eating
@Allison Bryant omg.. i just did that on saturday... ate em with tarragon basil salad dressing.but added the wasabi from my grocery store sushi i ate cuz i didnt feel like cooking. But carrots have the best crunch.. like its interrupting the shit thoughts. It used to be a bag of chips but carrots are my healthy go to......and cheap as chips
@o ya I hear ya.. me too ..gained too much..which is why im trying to eat carrots instead of chips now. But i just figured out this morning ..ive gained 70 lbs. 😶
For a lot of people, depression kind of makes everything taste the same, mentally. Like you can taste the difference, but you don't even care what it tastes like, you know? Because when you're depressed, you know that no matter how good the food tastes, it won't make things better. So you may as well eat healthy if you're not getting anything out of your ice cream experience.
Hah I'm sat here on the floor in a depressive episode eating a chocolate Easter egg that I don't want to eat and I feel kind of sick and I just want to be ok
My healthiest snack to eat while depressed is air lol i don't eat ANYTHING, its just the act, the physical PROCESS of eating is just too much, like I can't do it
I either eat everything I find or nothing. Like I go to the fridge and take whatever I like. I eat cereal, bread, candy and especially chocolate Or I don’t have an appetite. That’s been happening recently. I can’t eat breakfast. I only eat a little bit for lunch and dinner. Snacks hardly. But I drink hot chocolate EVERY. DAY. I drink water less than hot chocolate. Wow I’m so healthy omg 😮
4,108,624, 018 Seriously. I did that today. It was warm for the first time so I tried going to the park. Found everything grey and unmoving. Had to go back inside after a whike
Whenever I start to feel that pit of depression looming in I just come to this video so that I can have something to relate to. It actually really helps to make me feel less alone and helpless. Thank you Dodie.
Jill Stephenson i do the same thing, and you know what? us dodie fans have to have each other’s back and i feel so lucky to be a part of such an open and loving fan base.
I know this is an old comment, but dang this is what I do! Sometimes it just helps to know that someone else understands so clearly what you're going to. You know like someone to show that you're going to be okay even if your brain is being a jerk right now, but that what you're feeling right now is real and sucks.
i've never related to something so much in my entire life. i showed this video to my parents, and i think it really did help them understand my mental illness more. thank you dodie. i hope you're in a happy place.
Mornings when I'm feeling bad are the worst. Everything feels heavy physically and emotionally, it's a miracle I even drag myself out of bed those days
This have been my comfort video for years now. Whenever I feel sad or depressed I just watch this while eating snacks. Please dodie never delete this 😭
anyone else sometimes feels so bad that you're certain you have depression but then you think you're faking it and you feel stupid bc there's people out there with the actual illness, but again you relate to so many symptoms and you have no clue of what's going on :c
sometimes there can be a difference between feeling depressed and suffering from bouts of depressed / low mood, and 'depression' itself as a chronic illness. Nevertheless, if you experience symptoms of depression so severely or constantly that you wonder if you might have it, it might be worth seeing a doctor just to discuss? Hope you feel better xx
Also: bouts of low mood (if you feel that's what you may be experiencing) can be just as valid and debilitating as depression itself, so don't think you are stupid xx
jessica fernanda it happens to me with anxiety and depersonalisation my brain just goes like "shut up you're just trying to call attention" and I hate the fact that I maybe am.
natalie roy I've been like this for about 3/4 years and I honestly don't know what to do. Like do you guys feel this emptiness, constant numbness and the feeling of nothing inside you all the time? Like you'd rather not do anything at all but sleep?
mine feels a bit different but i definitely relate to those feelings a lot!! ive noticed lately i go from one complete extreme to another mentally, sometimes just within hours which really freaks me out uhg. when im in a down mood it feels exactly like what you said and i just wanna cry all the time but i cant bc i feel so empty, and sometimes that lasts for awhile but then sometimes i feel like decent right after?!? its really weird and really extreme this got really long oops sorry but idk what to do either sadly :/ watching youtubers and tv helps really forget about everything for awhile for me and forcing myself to get a complete 8 hours of sleep is really helpful!
jessica fernada- I thought that too until my parents got me a therapist for other things and she diagnosed me with depression. Now I am on meds and trying to figure how to become normal again. Whatever you do don't ever devalue your feelings.
natalie roy same I feel the exact same way! Like I could be wanting to burst out with tears but I can't because I'm feeling nothing, just emptiness and void. And sometimes after that I'm decent and feel okay but then I just go right back
yeah pretty much like right now actually. infact most people think these comments are for attention since i am trying to sort of express how i feel but quite frankly if i express myself i get told to kill myself/stop feeling this way/ignore the kill myself comments. i also get told disstract myself from feeling this way or stay away from anyone that upsets you and if that thing is not something you can stay away from ignore it.
jessica fernanda that's literally my entire train of thought during this video. Like today I was super tired and for a while 6 of school I felt terrible and then i felt happy for an hour and then I went back to sadness and i feel like if I were depressed I wouldn't have moments of happiness?? Like does that make sense? I don't know but basically all im saying is me too.
jessica fernanda I just had one of those moments where you read something that's been so perfectly put in words, that you've been subconsciously trying to for so long but haven't been able to. Thanks, and you're not alone. But, hey, at least we've got things like Dodie's videos and Viria's art to cheer us up.
I feel the same and it's so fucking annoying I never talk about how I feel because I make myself think that I'm faking it and that I'm fine but at the same time I'm not fine ugh
jessica fernanda Yes I tend to think that my problems are irrelevant and no one cares and that I'm making a big deal out of it. I just don't know anymore.
jessica fernanda I do it's so scary. But I went to the doctors and it turns out I have depression and anxiety so it's definitely worth a try if you relate to symptoms.
I FEEL THIS LITERALLY EVERY SECOND OF EVERDAY AND I LITERALLY CONVINCED MYSELF THAT I WAS ACTUALLY FAKING IT BUT IM SO GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE SO I KNOW THAT ITS JUST MY STUPID BRAIN
Sarah Marko SEE SOMEONE! I finally got diagnosed with depression and anxiety THANK GOD, but I'm still so anxious and have so little trust in everyone including myself, that I don't say enough to for people to understand what's going on. And with depersonalization I really REALLY HAGE BEEN STRUGGLING THIS MONTH AND LAST MONTH, and I'm still not diagnosed, so I keep telling myself I'm faking it just because I want to give myself excuses , when in reality it's probably much more likely that something is actually going on mentally that isn't in my control.
this thread. 💕 even just by seeing people agreeing to the main comment already feels enough to comfort me. what I tend to do now, now that I'm not so serious, though I still have my phases; is tell myself that it's okay. it's okay to feel like shit and it's okay if you don't seem "depressed enough" to fit to the label, because any ounce of it it's just not what anyone should go through. and things will be alright in the end.
For me its like certain days of emptiness. Like a blackhole inside my bod that sucks the energy out of me. Then there are the days that are like "I'm feeling kinda depressed" But then its like "No your not stop devaluating people with actual depression, you're just calling for attention shut up" and that sucks.
Yeah.. I was told by a teacher I talked to about it "I don't usually think this but I think your just putting on a front for attention" and that downed me even more. I get bad days constantly and the only "front" or "mask" I put on is a confident, crazy girl because under that mask, they wouldn't like what they would see.
jessica fernanda that is exactly what I'm like. I'm so scared to open up because if I get sad/depressed I'm worried people will think I've overreacted over nothing or that they think I'm asking for attention so I'm just so scared to tell people now because it's that or told off for feeling this way. People just get so angry about my sadness but I can't help it
I've been through emotional abuse from my father (note: I'm 15) and ever since 13 I've had depression like you know puberty frontal lobe etc that's the time where most mental illnesses start to take place. Now at the present moment, I don't really know how I feel for example my father doesn't really affect me anymore too much in a negative way I can openly talk about it. But I'm not happy either I can't find joy in things I used to when I was a kid. And I was discussing depression with one of my friends the other day and it made me contemplate whether it's actual genetic depression. My father, mother and uncle have all had or have depression. My mother doesn't anymore but my dad and uncle still do.. And I also relate to what you're talking about. The one thing I hate about it is you never know when it's going to be a bad day, or week, or month. It always comes randomly and it's unpredictable. It's making me too tired and exhausted to do school work and when I have a wave I just can't be motivated to care about anything. Please, can someone discuss this with me also sorry for the long paragraph.
I think that I might have depression but I'm really not sure. It's like what Dodie said, it feels as though everything goes dark in my head and as though it will be like it forever. I start to feel heavy in my chest and my breathing slows down and I breath heavy. But whenever I tell my family that I'm feeling like this, I always say "but it's not depression or anything". I know what normal sad is and this is different. But the problem is that I always tell myself that there's nothing wrong and now I'm worried if I tell my family, they might think that I'm faking it something.
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Z K2017-03-10 07:19:44 (edited 2017-03-10 07:21:07 )
I felt/feel like that, but then I realised one day......me denying that I have depression is kind of a depressing trait itself, because it's just reinforcing the idea that I'm not important and that I'm a sucky person for faking it.
it was that thought that push me to go see a GP, because they'd be able to say if it was just an over reaction or something actual. he explained that sometime there doesn't need to be a big reason, it could be something faulty in your genes that produces too less/too little of something. I always knew this, I just never could apply it to me (which, again, sign of depression/anxiety! )
so yeah, chances are, you aren't faking it and depression doesn't always need clean cut reasons. but if you are, it doesn't hurt to get a little more professional insight into it. worse comes to worse, they say you don't have it and things will just stay the same - which seems bad, but it can't get worse right?
jessica fernanda usually when you suspect depression, you may have some form of depression. Perhaps go see a doctor, it might help to talk to someone. I waited too long and fell really far down the well and it's so important to start early with therapy bc it helps
I was just like that and ended up getting diagnosed with a form of depression (called dysthymia). I think you should see a psychiatrist about that. It's like, it your throat hurts, it doesn't mean you have strep, but you'd still go to a doctor, right?
xoxo Itzel and this is how I am! Most of the time I feel like shit but then I have an hour of happiness and then I go back to feeling numb and spaced out. This makes me doubt what's actually wrong we me, or makes me think is there anything wrong in the first place? Like I doubt myself and think I'm just making it up?
jessica fernanda I definitely suffer from depression. It's been diagnosed and is being treated but I still feel like I'm faking it sometimes. Write down some notes on how you feel and how often and go speak to your doctor. They may offer advice on how to deal with those thoughts and feelings or they may say you're having a rough patch and want to check in with you in a month or two. Either way, going to see your GP will help. It can be scary but just the act of seeking help can lift so much of that weight. If you're not sure enough to see your doctor, seek out friends or family who suffer with it and just talk. Again, just getting things off your chest can help so much. I hope you're all okay. Be kind to yourself and take care x
natalie roy If it's been that long I'd go and see a doctor. Have you spoken to any friends or family about how you feel? Maybe they could go with you. If you haven't spoken to anyone, try and have a real conversation about it. Don't just mention it in passing. Arrange a time and say there's something you're struggling with or finding confusing and you need to talk about it. I hope things look up soon. Look after yourself xx
Shantel Potter Yes, absolutely. That is a huge part of depression. Does anybody know? Have you spoken to friends or family? Like I said to natalie roy, try and arrange to talk about it rather than mentioning it in passing, and see a doctor. You can take some notes because remembering all the things is hard. Take a friend if you need to as well. They're allowed to come into the consultation room with you if you want them there, and if you've spoken to them about how you've been feeling they might be able to help you put it into words. Take care x
Lisa Williams2017-03-10 10:08:31 (edited 2017-03-10 10:09:30 )
someone once said to me people have front teeth problems and back teeth problems. People can always see the front ones and help them out. but everyone especially people with (invisible illnesses like) depression, cant be seen in the back. one day those people that don't get it will experience what we will do or really learn about how it really is from someone close to them and realise that you can't just think yourself happy.
hey, i struggled with depression for about 8 years before i actually got help because i kept doubting myself and telling myself what i was experiencing wasn't real or wasn't "serious enough". you know yourself better than anyone and if you think something's not quite right, seek help if you can - book an appointment with your doctor, or your school or college counsellor. it might be nothing, but it also might be something. mental illnesses are extremely common, especially depression. it's not fun having one, but also having a diagnosis was extremely validating for me. plus everyone experiences mental illness differently and there are varying levels of it, so just because you don't feel exactly like other people do doesn't mean you're not valid.
That happens to me all the time but all my friends and family keep telling me that im making it up and that everyone goes through it so im scared of going to a psychologist because im afraid its true and im actually faking it but unconsciously
i do, i have friends who have much worse depression than me (i think) and i always question whether i actually have depression and worry that i'm not just faking it
Yeah... all the time... but trust me, it's worth talking so someone. My friends had been telling me for a few months to talk to someone so I FINALLY talked to the school psych. My boyfriend had to practically drag me in. I was sitting in the library sobbing into his shoulder before the appointment all "I'm fine I don't need a psych please don't make me she'll just say I'm being silly". Anyway, he kinda half forced me to go in, and I pretty much just cried in front of her for an hour, took some tests she gave me, and came out tentatively diagnosed as severely depressed.
Hey! yeah! (I'm sorry for my terrible english) I felt like that for 6 years. Then I met my current boyfriend who studies mental illness and explained to me that whatever you feel, you can get help for it. 'cause even when it's in fact not depression but you feel like shit without a reason (or with a reason), you can get help. Even when you do it for attention (I was always affraid that, that was me) you can get help because there must be a reason why you subconsciously (I don't even know if that's a word) feel like you have a lack of attention. I am now under treatment and further research for a disorder called borderline. It's still not going great but I finally have the feeling that I'm taken seriously and problebly the most important thing. I am recently allowing myself, to take myself serious. That's the message I guess xD Take yourself serious and get help. Love you all!!
I opened up to my friend ONCE and her response was that I was overreacting. After that I convinced myself that I was being dramatic and that I shouldn't compare myself to people who actually have mental illnesses
YES. A lot of the time. Also especially with my anxiety. It takes everything (and sometimes it still doesn't convince me enough) to tell myself that I have this, it's real, let's ride it through. I woke up in a panic attack today. What a thrill... So thankful it was short-lived and I could get out of my apartment and do something exciting. That doesn't always work, but it sure did today. #bulletdodged
Even as someone who has been officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I still get this all of the time. My therapist said it's actually one of the big symptoms of a lot of mental illnesses, which is part of the reason a lot of people don't seek help.
jessica fernanda yeah, that's happened to me where I stayed in bed for like 5 days and I was sad for no reason and felt like shit but I knew I never had depression and the same with anxiety, at school the counselor was saying things about they were worried I have anxiety but I didn't believe it until a few days ago when I actually looked up anxiety to see what it is on a base level and I was like, "Wait, so people don't freak out about these things?"
jessica fernanda yes thank you so much for putting it into words sometimes i wish that i was diagnosed with it just so that i was 100% aware of what exactly is wrong with me, if anything, because i really cant tell if I'm faking it or not which makes me feel even worse
Oh god I thought I was the only one! I talked about it to my parents but my dad is completely sure nothing's wrong but my mom says even she wasn't feeling this bad when she was younger and she had a lot of 'depressing' (she didn't have depression, but it was close) days so I don't know but I'll talk to a doctor soon
painfully true, and it doesn't help when other people tell you you're "being dramatic" or "thinking to deep into it" because let's say I actually DO have something wrong, I'm not going to take the steps to get better because I listen to those people and then it just... gets worse
this is me rn. it's 6am. i've been spilling out my feelings in my journal/diary for the past hour. i decided to watch different vids/ read diff sites to see if i am actually depressed. i think it's safe to say that- i do not know.
This is what I think everytime I have a panic attack or just start randomly crying. Like why the fuck are you crying? You have no reason to be crying while other people do so stop acting like this. I am on antidepressants but they don't work and then I end up thinking like it's because you aren't actually depressed. Others could use this more than you and you're just wasting it. Like all those bad things.
Vane happy It's embarrassing and scary yes, but your parents fucking love you. they want you to get help. would you rather tell your parents you need help or let them find out in some other way that you needed help? grow up and ask for help. i told my parents when i was 15 and im 21 now. ive made a lot of change in my life and my parents have been there for me. it changed my life, it will change yours.
you have no idea how relieved i am that i am not the only one who gets this, also, it does help now i am actually diagnosed, but before i got this all the time
jessica fernanda um yes. All the time. I feel that way about everything: depression, anxiety, ptsd, ADHD. Am i faking it? No. But I'm always afraid that I am
jessica fernanda Yeah I feel numb all the time but I always tell myself that I just don't know how to identify emotions, "of course that video made me happy, it makes everyone happy, you aren't numb, this is happiness... Totally" when I smile I can never tell if I actually want to and it's because I'm happy or if it just happened because I'm so used to faking them.
exactly, and it doesn’t help that once i caught my friend talking behind my back saying that she thought i was faking it and i feel like every now and then she drops kind of rude subtle hints at me about it and it doesn’t make me feel better at all
Yes, every day. I've felt like I'm probably depressed for a long time, years; and chronic depression runs in my family; but I always talked myself in circles about getting help for it for so long not thinking I was actually depressed and that it was self indulgent and an insult to people with "real" depression and I was/am being a horrible person and hopping on a bandwagon. It took a serious life event (unrelated) to get me into therapy where I then began to talk about this for real, and even though my therapist has diagnosed me with depression, I still constantly think I'm faking it or making it up. I have good days and think "well if you were able to do this why haven't you been doing it the whole time, lazy dumbass? You're not depressed." Watching this video made me feel similarly because I didn't relate to all the same symptoms. I obsess over things I've done wrong / my flaws, feel a heavy feeling in my chest, am constantly tired and lacking energy and motivation even though I have a lot of goals, and cry at random times and just feel sad and bored, but things can still cheer me up, and I can still tune out to a good show or some music. I don't feel the "brain fog" aspect. I tell myself all the time that I'm just lazy, and I'm still not even sure that isn't my only problem. I have no problem looking at others experiencing the same things and saying it's clearly depression, but I just can't apply it to myself without feeling like a disingenuous fraud. For the benefit of the many people commenting here, see someone if you feel like this. Not having it as bad as someone else doesn't make your problem invalid, and sometimes these feelings are literally symptoms of depression. I was diagnosed with "persistent depressive disorder" and literally cried tears of joy at feeling like I could relate to something for once the first time I saw the definition, but I talked myself into the fact that NO, I was just attention seeking and rotten within a week and didn't get the help because I just needed to "get over it." It's such a frustrating feeling because you literally just feel like a shitty person for existing, like you can't use depression to describe yourself because you don't feel like you're entitled to, but you also don't feel normal or good.
Thank you 💗 This is exactly how I feel and it makes me feel so empty. I think that I have dysthymia but then again how do I know? So I just fall into a pit of despair. When I was eleven my mother had me put into guidance counselling at my school and at the end of the year my councillor suggested for me to continue to have counselling. I never told my mum. I thought that I wasn't worth it. To this day I am still uncertain of my condition. I can't get myself to believe that this is real. I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
i took a quiz on depression two months and it said i am severely depressed. now i have the best friends ever to help me and i love them and i love writing music and i still cant love my life. i hAtE iT
YEaH!like okay ik this comment is from two years ago but i like it so idc. I've been diagnosed and have mdd, and have had mmmmmmselfharmmmmmissuesmmmm but i feel like i'm faking it and, idk i confused? I more just feel really really, REALLY sad, not confused or anything, but just super hopeless and awful, so just normal sadness ya know? SO YEAH I FEEL LIKE I"M FAKING IT AND-WhaTT. And i have a thyroid problem so I'm always really tired an i uugasflhdksghasfkj
and then i feel may be i have depression. 'cause everything i can think about happy times, is something when i'm really distracted. distracted through work. distracted through screens. distracted throughs sounds. but in my head it's always silence. a nothingness which feels so heavy. but then again, i think i'm faking it. 'cause real depression might not let me do that. it might not let me get distracted
jessica fernanda Dang. I didn’t know that other people feel this? Cause honestly when I’m feeling down (I’m pretty sure I don’t have depression) I feel so stupid and “oh woe is me” cause I just... Ughh. I feel like my “self hate” is like a call for attention?... Even though I try to hide it more or less?... I bet I’m gonna remember this comment later and be like “stop faking you’re fine”. Cause like I am?... But I’m not?... ivkdysnsjak I’m supposed to be fine. I bet I’m fine but my brain? I feel like I might have minor anxiety but then again, I feel like I shouldn’t assume that cause some people have major anxiety and mine is barely a problem? I just change my mind all the time either convincing myself that I’m fine, or feeling certain that I’m not...
Ok you know what, sorry. You can ignore this long rambly comment. ;w; I feel stupid now.
@Ella Wright but what if you feel this way and you constantly feel depressed anyways y'know what I mean..I'm a melancholy type i suppose but I also feel like I am taking it but I'm not? And those bouts you're talking about could be a type of manic or mania depression. But depression isn't always chronic. There is also situational depression but that's definetly not it it for me. Y'know I don't really know whats wrong with me bc I look up all of these things and i have these symptoms but don't want to talk to my mum about it bc I don't want her to think I'm faking or self diagnosising myself which I am but if I'm really feeling those symptoms wouldn't it make sense??!? And I feel like everything I'm self diagnosising is in contradiction to what I just looked at idk I'm weird and I'm sure there could be worse problems..
jessica fernanda yes I feel like this a lot like I have nothing really big to be depressed about but I am and my brain sometimes tells me I’m just calling for attention when I’m not it’s like my depression is depressed
I’m sorry to hear, remember, if u have a problem, weather it’s a diagnosed problem or not, no one should put u down about having a problem, that make sense?
I relate to this so much, thank you. I feel so stupid and alone when ever I start to think about why I am sad... it feels good to know that other people have the same sentiment.
Depression IS an illness. It's fucking terrifying how still it's a stigma in society and many make fun of it saying it's just a 'sadness' or 'overreaction to certain things'. Nooooo depression isn't a drama it's an actual illness just like heart disease, cancer, or hepatitis. MENTAL ILLNESS IS AN ILLNESS. I don't understand how many more years would it take for society to ACCEPT this thing. 😭
i went on multiple certified depression quizzes - basically what therapists ask you and use to determine if they actually want to help you out all said severely depressed and one redirected me to a suicide hotline list i still think im faking it, other people have it worse. im probably just being sensitive and it's been so long surely it'll pass soon
I go between being hopelessly optimistic to sad over stupid things. Like grandma dies? Who cares. Drop my icecream? Mental breakdown. I diagnose myself with being self absorbed
the part where you talked about going outside and still feeling depressed hit me hard. i love taking walks and i love looking up at the sky and seeing so many beautiful colors but when im feeling especially depressed that day, i try to take a walk but fails. nothing will motivate me like how the beautiful sky did the other day.
I’m a maladaptive daydreamer and it’s been taking over my life. I can’t do anything else but daydream. My parents don’t believe that being a maladaptive daydreamer is even a thing, let alone a problem. It’s been making me really depressed because all I’m able to do is just waste away my day in a daydream. I can’t focus in school or at home.
Alyssa L literally same; i just started seeing a therapist to help with/actually diagnose my anxiety, and i really want to bring this up but i’m scared, and it just takes up so much of my life and it’s so frustrating and i’m so sick of it, and i know i can do better than how i’m doing now, but i just feel like i’m drowning all the time and i don’t know how to deal with it hdkslzjdkls sorry that was so long
i used to think i was a maladaptive daydreamer, because i showed all the symptoms.
turns out the depression i had prior was causing me to dissociate a lot and i wasn’t daydreaming, i was just spacing out and thinking sad things :)
so basically i don’t have what i thought it had, so a year ago i would’ve written a comment saying i could relate sO mUcH, but i can’t. i don’t know what you’re dealing with. i hope you’re okay.
I have attention deficit disorder. Anxiety. And depression. This all contributes to the cute little universes in my brain. Or just scenarios. Really anything that could happen has been played through in my head a thousand times over. Sometimes I can’t sleep because of it. Sometimes I waste my morning or day because of it. So I get you man. I’m medicated for my anxiety and ADD but it still happens sometimes. So Here’s to the daydreamers club. I hope you get the help you need for it, weather it be a therapist, meds or just a friend. I can fill in on the last part if you’d like.
Em Wiebe I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety with other things but the main mental illnesses are those two and they affect me more than anything . Recently I was told that I was dissociating as well which I never really thought but it makes a lot of sense to me . I’m thinking maybe the daydreaming could be the way I disassociate from either stress or memories or anything of the sort .
Camron Stewart that makes sense. i dissociate because of stress and self hatred+the desire to harm myself. my brain turned itself off one day and said “yo, i’m not coming back til you accept yourself” and i responded “okay, then goodbye forever.”
I also had the same problem... if you haven't done this yet I would advise you to go to a therapist... that's what helped me. I was daydreaming so much I couldn't even concentrate on people talking with me anymore... it was literally destroying my life.
it's exactly the same for me, my ma doesn't really believe it's a thing, (and she's a psychiatrist, so jeez, what am I supposed to believe), and i guess the worst parts are that i've set the standard so high in my daydreams, how am i supposed to make them real (cause i always strive for that) and when reality just fkin slaps you in the face, and it's just too much. My advice, strive to make your dreams a reality. And when you start feeling better with your own self, try to step outside of the dream, let it go for a moment, and you'll see it's all still there, within you. Definitely have a creative outlet, whatever that may be, (for me, music helped a lot, it's the perfect balance of real and not real). Main point is, somehow try to feel better with yourself and your own life, regain some sort of control. Anyhow, sorry for the long comment, hope i helped even a little bit- you're not alone
I think i have the same thing..i didnt really know there was a name for it because i thought i was just being weird & making up scenarios in my head but watching them play out in real life but in my mind.
Thank you so much for writing this comment. Since I can remember, I've been daydreaming intensely in many different scopes of my life and I've always thought that maybe I had attention deficit disorder. When I read this, I got immediately identified with it. I've done some research and I think I should tell my therapist about it. I hope it has a solution: my life is drifting before me cause instead of living I prefer to imagine. Cheer up. You are not alone :)
To all Maladaptive Daydreamers and everyone who knows them "ITS A REAL THING" please get help, please learn about this disorder, learn coping strategies, keep a diary and try to figure what are your triggers, if you understand what your up against you can learn how to live and stay in reality, trust me, "I KNOW ITS HARD", BUT YOUR STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE, PUSH YOURSELF OUT OF YOURSELF. Please don't be so hard on yourself it's ok your gonna get better. I wish I could hold your hand and walk out......
Its hard being 'addicted' to daydreaming because to quit any addiction you need motivation. But each time you daydream it's so easy to convince yourself it it isn't harmful, because it literally isn't in the short term, it's the long term that is the problem. So that has to be the motivation. I've read stories about people in their 50s still stuck in this shit - unmarried, no social life, crappy job, just wait till the end of the day till they get back to their apartment to pace again till they collapse into their bed. Repeat next day. It's too late for them. Do you want that to be your life? You need to cut it the fuck out NOW and never look back. Or you're just gonna say I'll do it 'one more time' for the rest of your life.
Easier said than done? Yeah I know I can't quit either lol
ugh, me too. not that severe, but it distracts me from everyday life. i hate it. i want it to stop. i can't tell anyone about it, not even my therapist, because i also have severe social anxiety. i accepted it, but i want it to stop.
thankyou I just feel like time is what weighs me down. I'm scared of the time passing by and watching people leave. Our time is short, and i look back in the past and see how happy I was. I'm scared of time cause I don't spent time with my parents much cause they have to work all the time and I always wanted them to quit even if we didn't have money we are still together. My parents don't spent much time together cause my dad works in different areas of the country. my parents are deeply in love but separate from each other so we can have money to support ourselves plus both my parents had a terrible childhood with abuse and now they found love but they have to leave each other because of their children so they can support them. Of course they don't say that but I blame myself for what they go through and so I think I should pay them back with my life I have many dreams but I won't fulfil them so I can prepay my gracious and kind hearted parents.
@Aleksander Kulewski i hope things work out for you eventually. I wish you the best regardless of what you going through you'll get through it even though you feel the world is not on your side
@Daisy dupe this made me tear. Even what you going through you still somewhat sound strong though i hope things get better and you can see you parents more. Things will work out soon or later
I feel like I ask myself a lot of things, that I do not have the answers to. But someone mentioned to me today, that I have the answers. I am just waiting for someone to ask the right questions. Make sense? I do not know. lol
MysticVids omg yes I feel like my self and my brain are separated they are constantly talking and my brain wants to notice every single thing in the room and it doesn't shut up I can't even control myself sometimes because of everything around me I try to shut it out but my brain just won't shut up and stop thinking I can't function normally and Ihave to act my whole life to seem normal I don't even remember who I am anymore it's so annoying having to constantly try to override your brain thoughts to seem normal, I just want it to end, I'm not going to end it all because I need to meet dodie first, she helps so much with this and a few weeks ago I started living in the now I'm finding it easier to act happy, I still don't know where I am though x
MysticVids I kind of have this too- more internally when I evaluate what I've done and often two parts of my brain conflict with exhorted it's weird idk
to feel less lonely ill memorize scenes from my favorite musicals and act them out- and when i do my makeup, I always act like the mirror is a camera, as if i'm taking a video of myself doing a makeup look. which means i talk to myself 24/7. idk
I verbalize my inner dialogue out loud while alone in public places to avoid any possible social interaction with others because I'm already clearly in a deep conversation with myself. It's strategic word vomit. Also it just kinda happens, I just like that excuse.
No I do that all the time like my mind doesn't shut up and I make this thing where I'm talking to myself although I'm aware I'm not 2 in 1 but I'll spend hours talking to myself in the bathroom about the struggles as if I have a YouTube channel when I don't.
Francesca Conroy. ohmy goD i really thought i was the only one who split my brain into two parts like me and myself and ill talk to myself all the time like its a seperate person but part of myself
Yes omg especially when I'm feeling my worst my mind won't shut up and I'm just thinking to myself in deep conversation and on the verge of tears when from the outside it looks like I'm doing normal daily activities like I'm literally washing the dishes or something lmao
Every single minute of the day, my head starts to hurt because I'm always talking to myself in my head and the other part of my head keeps replying and it's CONSTANT.
My brain doesn’t switch off. I’ve thought any though possible to think. I’m surprised my brain hasn’t collapsed in on itself and created a black hole. Actually I think it has...
No u're not LMAO I talk to myself outloud its like there is another person with me but its just me and I have really serious conversations with myself XXXD sometimes I be like wait imma tell what happened or wait imma explain like that inner me is someone else omg u know what I mean right
I always talk to myself and ask myself things and I would answer out loud when I’m alone and I always felt like it was creepy but I couldn’t like not talk to myself.
write things down.You cam get some fascinating things that you can be proud of out of it.I sure am fascinated about what i think about when im alone in the night.
@Francesca I mean I relate to litterly everything of what you've said lmao and I don't really think that was dramatic but I am now really surprised cuz I thought you were not gonna reply to me because you commented that 3 YEARS ago
To anyone who’s depressed or otherwise feeling down: you are strong, you are not alone, there is help, and it’s gonna get better. I’m mentally sending u lots of love ❤️
Oh my god. I couldn’t find this video for over a year because it was unlisted... I just found it again... I use it to feel normal when I feel the exact opposite for all the same reasons she talks about... I need this video sometimes. I’m so so so thankful for it. Thank you Dodie.
To anyone who’s depressed or otherwise feeling down: you are strong, you are not alone, there is help, and it’s gonna get better. I’m mentally sending u lots of love ❤️
@shira n it feels like talking to someone who just understands how you feel.. and God knows how comforting it is to hear that you're not the only person in the world that feels like shit.
when I'm depressed I put on a comfy sweater get my edamame beans and watch this video. its not necessary uplifting but it makes me feel so much more understood then anything else which is really what I need.
Dodie. How are you??? I hope you are doing better. Please post and let us know. We love you. I love you. Im an old lady (52) and I fell in love with you accidentally as I was researching about La La Land and I found your awesome post about how much you love that movie. You remind me of my daughter. I see you have not posted in a week or so since this post, so please let us know how you are doing.
i dont want to be a downer but i'm not sure shes happier than ever, as dodie says travelling makes her a little disassociated. altho i do believe she is better than this video so thats definitely good <3 depression will always be a struggle once you have had it, you are aware you have the capability to go to that place. which is scary. however of course there are highs and lows so, there are definitely good days to live for <3
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Jeff The Killer2017-05-31 20:59:51 (edited 2017-05-31 21:00:46 )
Mary Carroll you sound so lovely, i dont have anyone to talk to i wish my family, friends (not even one) and ugh i am just going towards this point shes at.
I always go back to this video when I'm in a really hard time because it helps me feel less alone. thank you so much for putting this back up and sharing it with us.
I just watched your recent video, a classic beatles cover warmed my heart, but you said that you started to private or unlist your videos and I'm so thankful that you've only unlisted this one. Whenever I'm depressed, like today, I come back to your channel and especially this video because it's so comforting to hear you talk about this so openly and explain depression in the ways I want to. When I told my dad I felt like I had depression, I sent him this video to explain how I felt and he understood and I just- Thank you so much for sharing your life with us and I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch right now with how you feel you've portrayed yourself on the internet, but the portrayal of yourself that you've shared has helped me so much. xo
This person got the poem from this link, in which he did not take hours, but just minutes: https://www.poem-generator.org.uk Good luck proving me wrong.
dear god I think that is the first time I see someone writing this and it is so true so fleeping true. Good god I am not as alone as my brain keeps telling me thank you
I have the same problem so when I'm going through an episode I'll write memos or record memos of how I feel the best way I know how and then read/play it out for my therapist at the appointment. It's easier than me not remembering.
Yeah that happens to me as well. Which is why I normally describe what I’m feeling in my notes on my phone. I have pages and pages of just stuff that I’ve written whenever I’m feeling terrible. It’s almost become therapeutic in a way. I highly recommend it!
Happens to me all the time as well. I guess our brain is trying to block out the bad memories a little bit? That’s my case I think as I literally lose any memory of traumatic situations like almost instantly after they pass
HOLY SHIT. Yes..... You don't even understand how much better this comments thread me feel. I have doubted my depression was even real so many times because of this. It was literally the number 1 reason why I never went to therapy. Can't believe other people are the same....
Micka Lieta Yeah, I think it's dissociation. Happened when my dog died (I was a pretty huge dog person and pretty much loved my dog more than friends lol). I was surprisingly calm and apathetic about it all. I even tried to cry but just couldn't. Which was really weird cause I have an abnormally low threshold for tears normally and seeing my mom and sister crying should have made it easy. After about a week, I forgot what it was like to even have her around. It was absolutely strange and unexpected. Does this actually happen to people?
Macey King same with me it’s so hard to understand the feeling of it once it’s over & to remember it. While you are depressed it’s hard to talk to someone too because the feeling of it overwhelms with numbness and sorrow. :(
Hey guys i commented this a while ago and i remembered it the other day and spent hours looking for it lol. i just wanted to say that if you related to my comment at all, or this video at all it really does get better. I never thought it would for me but it did, just keep up with healthy coping mechanisms that work for you! Love you all! Stay safe!
Thanks for this, Dodie. I have depression and C-PTSD and some days I just feel trapped in shit. It’s really hard sometimes but I have good days and bad days. This is definitely what I feel like when I’m having a bad day, and I love you for making this to show what it’s really like. ❤️
i've come back to watch this video about four or five times since i was diagnosed with depression almost two years ago
when i'm feeling depressed and everything that usually makes me feel something just makes me mind-numbingly bored, it's comforting to hear that i'm not alone in this state of seemingly-endless emptiness
watched this video after dodie reacting to her 20 year old self. i’m so glad she’s doing a million times better than where she was around this time. she’s so successful and happy and content and she’s proud of where she is. i think we’re all proud of where she is today. <33
I've watched this video so many times throughout the years and I still come back here whenever I feel really low, it's like you remind me that you just just have to sway with depression and you're gonna be okay.
I made a metaphor for depression for my friend and I figured I should put it here for those of you that haven’t experienced it.
Imagine your life is like climbing a mountain. The top is your dreams and goals, happiness, marriage, whatever your final goal is. You climb the mountain with tools you have forged yourself, they are made of happiness, happy emotions, happy memories, all forged carefully to make your tools to climb the mountain, they are one of a kind, unique to everything else in the world.
You’re climbing the mountain will your tools, all is going well. Nothing in your life has disrupted you to climb the mountain and reach your ultimate goal. Then suddenly, without warning, something traumatic happens, an event, something somebody said, and you see a crack in one of your tools. You carry on, you think that one crack won’t do anything, but before you can climb even 3 metres higher the tool that was thought to be only cracked starts to crumble away. And then another traumatic event happens, your second tool cracks and again you try to climb again, and again it breaks and shatters. You look below you, into the mist and you can’t see the base of the mountain so you carry on, however your tools keep breaking and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t find the ingredients to forge more tools and there’s no way of getting to the top. You think about how far you’ve come and in one desperate last struggle you try to climb the rocks with your bare hands, and it happens. You slip.
You go tumbling back down the mountain, all those years of climbing, lost. You land at the bottom. It’s pitch black. Suddenly you can’t feel anything other than sadness. And you sit there, you have no energy other to lie at the bottom. You might try to find the emotions to make more tools and climb back up, but you can’t find any. Even if you do the forging is harder and more time-consuming than before. The tool ends up not even working. This is depression.
However, one day something happens, and you realise you can do it. And after millions of failed attempts at making a tool, you finally made one that works, you stare at it, you’ve forgotten the beauty of them, you marvel at it. And it happens again, you make another tool that’s good enough for the climb, eventually you gain back all the tools and the darkness begins to fade. However, your tools are different from before, they seem to show the scars of your time at the bottom, however these scars only make it stronger. And with refound strength you climb the mountain once again, from the bottom. But this time it’s different, this time you climb it a changed person.
In my case, it's different, though. You talk about a traumatic moment, something that happened or something that someone said... In my case, nothing happened. I don't remember a specific day but suddenly, I just became like this, feeling empty, nothing matters and every day looks the same and nothing will ever change. I won't kill myself but if I knew that I would die soon, I would feel relieved. In the meantime, I try to distract myself, I try to "not be there". I've talked with people about this and they all say "get help, go to a doctor. They have come up with good medecine nowadays, this could change your life". I don't disagree but have you forgotten that I'm depressed and being depressed means that I don't have the energy in me to get up, get ready, go to a doctor and then open up to him, find the courage to say the word "depression" (I know that nowadays, it's more accepted, better understood but still, I'm still afraid that someone might look at me and say or think "Really?! Stop being lazy and move your ass, just like everybody else. You're not special!") So yeah, I'll just stay here and keep watching Youtube videos. It helps to "disconnect" and "not be there".
@Sergio S. Yeah. Agreed. I don't struggle so badly anymore, but I still have my days though that really come without warning. I don't need somebody or something to trigger it. It just happens. I promise you though, as hard as it is to get up and do it, finding some help can really improve your quality of life. I recieved treatment and it honestly changed my life, and I think it could really help you.
This video is f***ing brilliant. Just the raw "here I am, and this is happening, and I have just enough presence of mind to film it." I appreciate that lots. Personally, I found SSRI's helpful. I mean, at first they just turned me into a big ball of numb, but after awhile that wore off. And then I didn't take them for a week, because I forgot to refill my prescription, and my brain was on the war path. So, I realized just how helpful the medication really is.
The beautiful irony in this video is how you assert that you are giving the viewer nothing, providing them with numb nothingness, when really for everyone that watches this and relates to it feels like you are giving them so much and I hope in at least some small way that can make you feel a little lighter when you are depressed and speak your mind
Ever since this video, tea and edamame is my sad snack that I have when I don't feel like eating due to sadness but I have to give myself some kind of nutrients :') Warm tea is very lovely and honestly helps in its own way uwu
I’ve had DPDR for 7 years. I totally feel everything you’re saying. Feeling drunk all the time. I also can’t take antidepressants because I get all the terrible side effects. Through the years I’ve learned to live with it. Some days I feel “70% clear” others I’m just holding on by a thread. But being a mother of twins has made me push myself and get better. I have hope now whereas before I didn’t.
I don't even know if I'm depressed or not. I understand Dodie perfectly but I'm not diagnosed, plus I'm pretty young, so I'm just so confused and sad all the time I just need a peace of mind
Random Randoms It'll be ok. Just try to appreciate the things you can, like great music and nice videos. Stay true to yourself and remember that people are here for you, including me. I wish you lots of luck.
you can experience depression at a very young age. if you relate to/empathize with this video you probably have experienced it. I don't know how young you are but please get ahead of it as soon as you can. I wish younger me had sought help but I just didn't know what I was facing. don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. 💜💚
Random Randoms even if you are particularly young doesn't mean you can still be depressed...my parents got divorced when i was 10 almost 11 and i felt depressed so it doesn't depend on age
talk to a doctor or a parent or a counselor. not people on the internet. we may want to help but a lot of us are also young, or biased, or just uneducated. you will only confuse yourself more and possibly go along without getting any actual help by listening to strangers tell you "you're not too young" or "yup, you're probably depressed" when they have no idea what's actually going on. you do and if you think something's wrong, tell someone who knows you/ can provide actual help.
childish green subhuman Ive tried talking to adults and they don't understand me. How am I supposed to understand what's happening to myself when no one can help me? It just keeps going in a circle. I try to talk to adults, they tell me what I'm supposed to feel, I don't know what to do. People here at least understand a little, but the adults here don't
LG Is that supposed to be a hate comment towards Doodie? Because I had already felt this way before I started watching Doodie. She helps me a lot, and I feel less hopeless when I watch her
Random Randoms you're fantastic and you deserve to be happier all the time, so try to help yourself by finding help professionally?? wishing you the best
First of all, i hope that you feel better and happy. I hope you can get help and feel good about all of this. This is really sad and i really hope that you can get better and find someone to confide in.
Nothing will be perfect. But you can be kind to yourself. One step at a time ((: (Please take care of yourself. I promise that things will be okay in the end. It's okay to take a moment. It's okay to not be okay. Just breathe.)
This was so relatable. It all feels too real and like everything is too much. Especially when nights are especially bad. I can't seem to properly sleep. I sleep at like 4 in the morning and bawl my eyes out every other night. It's easy to find things that kind of fill the hole i feel in my chest but it fades away far too quickly and i'm left chasing what seems to be happiness but in the end, i realize it's not. (If that makes any sense.) It's extremely difficult when i can feel the air passing through my lungs, but can't seem to feel like i'm actually breathing. Like my lungs don't exist and it's been stripped from my chest. I feel so lost all the time and find myself questioning everything about myself and everything i do. I can't get professionally diagnosed, either, as my parents both insist that mental illnesses are not real, and are just a choice. My mother even told me to kill myself, and it's not like i haven't thought about it either. Sorry for writing a novel, you probably don't care. But i guess i just needed to at least say it. (Again, if that makes any sense)
If anyone actually reads this far, i'd just like to say thank you. It means a lot. Xx
+Randoms Randoms sorry if I wasn't very sensitive, I was trying to lighten to mood I guess. I totally relate to your comment tho and I hope you feel better soon sweetie x
I started self harming at about age 13/14 because my granddad died and my parents separated when I was just about to turn 12. You're never too young to be depressed, it can happen at any age to anyone. CAMHS (Children and Adolescent Mental Health Services) are definitely something you should look in to. You can contact them or just try and talk to your doctor who can refer you, which is what I did. You'll get through it. Good luck
thank you all for the sweet comments. it's surprising reassuring that so many people feel the same. thank you so much for the kind words. im trying to get better, and i hope you are too.
I get it, and I also think age has nothing to do with it. It just makes it harder for you to explain to older people who will most of the time not take you seriously. I also don't know if I'm depressed. It's so irregular for me, some days I'm completely numb, I dont feel sad or happy, just empty. Some days I'm super emotional but other days, and I hope I can say most of the days, I'm 'fine'. But I always feel like dodie tried to describe, in a total different world than other people. I just know that there is something very wrong and at this point I would really like to see a therapist but I also dont want to explain that to my parents.
Thank you, I hope you do to! I started uni in a different city away from home this year, the friends that I have made here are amazing but I can't talk about that stuff to them, I just know they will not be able to relate. And I think talking about it is so important to stop it from taking over your whole mind. I am considering online therapy, if you're interested: https://www.betterhelp.com/ The first week is for free (:
What happens to me is one minute I'll be full of energy and I'm excited and I love everything and then the next I'll be tired and just done I feel a heavy weight in my chest and my brain just goes off against me-- another thing that happens is I get irritated and angry very easily sometimes. I also get paranoid and have trouble sleeping most of the time but again I am young and have never talked to someone about it- I don't want people, especially my family, to treat me like I'm fragile or saying that I'm overreacting and that I have no reason for this
holy fuck i get u so much. do u wanna talk? i feel like we could both discover some things, or at least feel not alone in this odd unclear Void of Sadness That You Are Unsure If It Is Depression Or Not. but your comment is 3 months old and i don't wanna touch up on anything kinda bad if you're in a good place right now. regardless, keep on killin it babe. i'm here and just as unsure as you are if you wanna hash it out xx
holy fuck i get u so much. do u wanna talk? i feel like we could both discover some things, or at least feel not alone in this odd unclear Void of Sadness That You Are Unsure If It Is Depression Or Not. but your comment is 3 months old and i don't wanna touch up on anything kinda bad if you're in a good place right now. regardless, keep on killin it babe. i'm here and just as unsure as you are if you wanna hash it out xx
Ellie King only doctors can diagnose you, as depression manifests in lots of different ways, i know the NHS have questionnaires about depression, anxiety, etc.. hope that helps you x
I'm like you. Everyone annoys me, nothing cheers me up, I want to cry and as I'm young I have to hide it. It sucks so much and I've never told anyone so yeah.
at age 10 i wasnt diagnosed but i knew i was depressed and later at 12 i was diagnosed so you should ask ur mum/dad/who takes care of you if you can get tested
same. I actually cried today when I was depressed and I was usually the fun of our group circle so we were all quiet and they kept asking me and I was so sensitive and then at one point I made them guilty so I ran to the bathroom and bawled my eyes out because I'm just not worth talking to. and I'm still 11. yes, I'm v v fuvked up.
Random Randoms Someone I can relate to. I used to self diagnose mental disorders on myself and try to be correct about simple sad days. The glorification of mental illnesses made me feel like jumping to conclusions of what could be wrong with me was cool and edgy or whatever. I feel guilty about it. I do have anxiety sometimes and many people have anxiety or will face anxiety at some point. I don't have severe daily anxiety disorder attacks. We all have happy and sad days. I'm sorry I just had to say my "story" i guess. Stay strong we all have bad days! ❤️
Mega Fetus you perfectly described how I feel most of the time. I knew something was wrong with me, because everyone else was happy without forcing it, and I had to make myself smile all the time until it was a habit. Before I consulted someone about this, I wanted to diagnose myself with some form of illness but I never really felt like was in a certain category? Because of my age and stuff, I was really insecure about saying I had depression or anxiety so I didn't open up about it, and as a result, the signs got more and more obvious but I never acknowledged them, and it's even harder to accept it now
Random Randoms I felt guilty about self diagnosis because I felt as though I was trying to be "edgy". I still feel guilty about it. We are happy and healthy beings! You are loved! Happy days, sad days for me seemed like a reason to make a scene out of myself. However, real depression and anxiety are different. I have minor anxiety from time to time but I promise you nothing is making you less human. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
So this is what people mean when they say she confuses her young audience because she 'romanticises' depression. It confused me for a while but you and this commnet of yours... I get it now.
Jojo Jojo don't dismiss mental health just because they're young.Young people with mental illnesses need to feel validated,not that their feelings don't matter because its puberty
It is perfectly normal to feel very low as a teenager, I think every teenager feels hopeless and depressed at various points. However, if it is affecting the majority of your days, and/or putting your health at risk, then it is always good to go to a doctor to see if it's something more serious. And, depressed or not, everyone should have a therapist!
Cerys D x I'm trying. I'm surrounding myself with happiness but the depressing feeling comes from my brain, not my surroundings. But there is a possibility it's because of my surroundings, so I'll be more aware. Thanks
Katelyn Fong I'm the same age and I'm not diagnosed. But I've checked similar stuff and it's really scary how much I can relate to it. Also depression in children IS possible, just that people forget about it.
EMMA LAROSE Thanks! I'm feeling ok, not the best but I've talked to a counsellor once or twice. It wasn't very useful regarding my improvement in mindset, but it's good to let out some feelings. I hope you get better, don't let your demons win
Raindrop ASMR that's a really good suggestion. I'll try to ask myself that, usually when I'm bored my mind goes hazy and the next thing I know I'm crying alone in my room
Sadie Oagile if you look up a few comments you will find that I was 'depressed' way before I watched dodie. She never confused me but maybe she did with others, that's fine with me
Sadie Oagile There is a H U G E difference between romanticizing a mental illness and being willing to talk about it openly. Practically nobody really wants to hear about it irl and I am so sick of it. Let her talk about how to deal with it in a healthy way for others
Random Randoms i feel the same way i'm always very confused about my emotions and sometimes i feel as if i might actually be depressed but i don't know how my brain works
Me too. Obviously I'm not going to self-diagnose with something as complicated as depression, but even if I wanted to, I can't go to a therapist or anything until after I'm 18 because my "mom" doesn't care.
That being said, I don't even want to go to one because I don't want to face the fact that I may have it. Some days I'll wake up and feel completely numb. Sometimes there's a reason, but more often than not there isn't. I'll motivate myself to take a shower, but I don't usually eat much at all (or I eat LOADS) and don't want to do anything except lay in bed and stare at a wall, which I've done before for almost an hour straight.
I need to get myself help, but even when I turn 18 I know I'll be too scared to do it. After all, why face a monster when I can just avoid it?
Rian Lewis I felt the same way for a long time. But I’ve talked about my feelings, first to a councilor and then to one of my close friends. I am not diagnosed, and I don’t want to be, so I understand how hard it can be. But maybe talking to someone will help you. It’s helped me, and I am happier.
that sounds a lot like bipolar but they shouldnt treat you differently this is the type of mind set i want to change with my videos.. you deserve t take care of your mental health... if we are not healthy on our brains how anything else would be ok?
"this constant longing for something." That is the one thing that has stuck around after my depressive episode after all the chaotic anxiety, sadness, hopelesness and despair faded.
It's hard to describe. The germans have a word that kinda encapsulates it. "Sehnsucht" But it feels like a negative version of that. It's not about improving ones life in search of an ideal experience, but more like a mourning. The only way I can describe it is like that feeling you get when you look at pictures of your grandparents and their dead friends when they were young. That feeling of sad melancholy about a period and time in a group of peoples lives that is gone. You'll never meet those people, they were and now they arent anymore. And it's a time, period and people you'll never experience. That, but you feel that about your own life. It's like living in past tense all the time. All you can see is pasts. And they're everywhere. It's like you're taking on everyones regrets, missed opportunities, failures and falls from grace. It's a really weird low-key hopeless feeling.
I love this video so much thank you for taking the time to talk about how you are feeling and sharing with us. It definitely gave me validation about the way I feel and specially the way you described how your brain doesn't feel that it's working and the lack of empathy between your functioning and depressed brains. I was relating so hard!
Thanks for making this and I hope you, me and others who are going through something similar find ways to cope with and manage this and are able to see life as vividly and be excited about it as before.
5:01 this is a timestamp for me because whenever my mind is really stuck in a current issue i always think "yeah... i don't know." so it's nice to hear dodie say the same thing too.
same but i hate seeing her sad it breaks my heart but im happy she made this video and opened up to us a bit i actually love her and i feel for her and i know you do to
I am here in 2020. This was the first video of dodie's I ever saw. I had been scrolling through YouTube trying to figure out why it felt like my brain was breaking. When I found this video I felt understood and not so alone. I now listen to all of dodie's music and love watching all of her content. We were both in a shit place then. I am glad you are doing well now dodie. I have also found my way with therapy and time, to a place where I can handle the heavy. Where I have a better understanding of why and how I went through what I did. Anyone watching this at any point in the future that is struggling, it will get better. I know it does not feel like it now, you do not have to suddenly be happy, but find the support where you can and know that you are cared for and not alone. Past, Present, and Future people will be where you are. Your feelings are valid, and you are worthy and loved.
this may be weird, but i think this may be my favorite dodie video. which is a very bold statement to make, as there are so many amazing dodie videos. but something about this video - the pure, unfiltered honesty - makes me realize that life happens. things happen, and life isn't perfect. there are so many other people that our society idolizes who are so, so perfect and photoshopped in every way possible. life seems like it should be perfect when you look at them. but this video brings me back down to earth. it makes me feel okay again, and not alone. thank you for this, dodie.
when this video came out i was at the lowest point in my life. i was so glad someone knew and understood what i was going through. it’s been about a year and i’ve never been so happy. i love you dodie, thank you for making me feel not so alone when i was depressed
Yeah, dementors are the best metaphor for depression. I find it's easier to explain depression when I compare it to dementors. Kudos to JK Rowling for creating them!
Lucy Glover actually yes! dark chocolate especially! Dark chocolate can boost serotonin levels from both the serotonin and L-tryptophan it contains, but also because it contains carbohydrates in the form of sugar! carbs/sugars can signal the body to produce more serotonin. so although it's not super significant like an SSRI, it is actually scientifically proven to help depression because of the serotonin! that's probably why J.K. included the chocolate bit ☺️
thankyouthankyouthankyou this video is what made me realize i had depression you were able to perfectly describe what was going on with my brain; i had thought i was just messed up so now, i'm working with my doctor to find an anti-depressant that works for me, (prozac hasn't worked, we'll see) i'm going to therapy every two weeks i'm learning to be kinder to myself
no. you don't understand. i did see a psychiatrist, but you have to realize that something is wrong before you visit the doctor. i am actually diagnosed.
Just Monika. read her whole comment. she’s working with her doctor. though i do agree people shouldn’t self diagnose, make sure they actually are before telling them not to.
@愛. 8 months late and this comment is so frustrating.. you have to have a sense of what's happening in your brain before seeing a psychiatrist. some people can't see someone for various reasons, and if you're feeling something, you're feeling it.
Depression is like having your body being present in the world but all of your senses feel there but they're numb, and your brain is just gone it's just empty
Betty Zetty same its like im in a hole trying to get out but the darkness consumes me and and it seems like all of the world was going on around me but I can't pick myself up to do anything or prioritise anything that I should be doing
Eva Is not cool I feel like I am in a labirent suddenly I am blind and cant see anything, I also cant talk and hear. I am asking for help but no one hears me and sees me like I hate this. Than I just sit there and give up. I feel so lonely.
Eva Is not cool it’s so frustrating trying to explain it to people especially because for me i get so hyper and seemingly happy around people but in reality i always feel like i’m just in a really boring dream all the time
I come back to this video on the really bad days to feel like someone is expressing what I feel unable to express in the moment. Please don't ever take it down. (Even though I have it mostly memorized at this point.) Love you, dodie.
This is so fascinating and helpful. Thank you for sharing. I'm eternally optimistic and I've always had a hard time understanding depression because it's such an abstract idea for me. I've always wanted to empathize with those around me, but like your mother, I just do my best to cheer them up. But you really explain it so clearly. Thank you for that. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. -Brian
Perfect Little Planet yes ! I'm the same I can never quite understand depression but this video really helped. I always just want to cheer people up but I know it doesn't really work 😕 just wish I could help
Just telling a depressed friend/loved one that you're there and along for the ride is helpful. It's okay to ask if there's something in particular they need, but just ask them in the moment. Thinking ahead can be scary or impossible during a depressive period. Knowing that there's someone around during even the crappiest times (when usually a depressed person feels worthless and unloveable on top of the rest of things) is really helpful over the long term. It doesn't make depression go away, but it's like a little life preserver holding us up when it feels like the depths want to take us. Signed, A Person with Over a Decade of Depression experienced
These comments creep me out honestly lol. The idea that there are some people that live their lives and haven't experienced feeling the way Dodie feels in this video creeps me out. And makes me a little angry, to be honest. Lol. But I mean good for you guys for wanting to have empathy for the people around you. That's nice.
It is extremely to understand until you experience it. I'm glad people like you are around who want to understand because I'm so sick of people telling me 'there's no reason for you to be depressed! Your life's great! Be happy!' When it's an illness just like any other illness. My best advice to you would be to let the individual know that you are there for them and check up on them when you can (trust me a 'how are you' is enough) and try to get them to get help.
@Tara I DO understand, you just completely misinterpreted my comment lol. I'm creeped out because it's weird that something is so hard to understand for some, while it's a daily part of life for others. I'm angry that some people have to feel like this while there are others in the world who have the privilege of NOT feeling like this. And no, I never have been in a situation where I felt like I couldn't understand what a depressed friend was going through. But I can still appreciate that people who CAN'T understand what their friends are going through, are trying to understand them better to help. Never said I had a problem with that. I just think it's sad that any of us need help at all. It's not fair that illnesses like this exist. Good people shouldn't have to feel bad every day, even when they have every reason to feel good. People like Dodie. That's why i'm angry.
I understand what is being said by both sides here. It must be as difficult to comprehend someone not understanding depression as it is for me to understand depression. I do agree that everyone has their own struggles though. Just because I don't suffer with depression doesn't make me privileged. I have my own issues that I have been working on for years now and I wouldn't wish them on anyone. It's hard because the way I get through things is to always try and think positively and I want to give that advice but for depressed people it doesn't work. This is why I can't understand it, it's why I can't really help even though I only have good intentions. It's why I tend to stay away from subjects like mental illness because I don't want to say something wrong and make people worse
Ah but the difference is that you can literally conquer EVERY OTHER PROBLEM in the world if you have a healthy brain. Literally. There are people who are poor, but are still happy, and therefore are living a fulfilled life. There are people with physical diseases, but have strong minds, therefore the ability to be happy even whilst sick. Not to mention someone who is poor may one day have money, and someone who is sick MAY find a cure to their illness. But there is no cure for mental illness. It either kills you in some way or you suffer until you're dead. So i'm going to have to correct you and state again that actually yes, it IS a privilege to not have a mental illness. If you have a healthy brain, you can find peace, no matter how bad life is for you. If you have an unhealthy brain, you will never find peace, no matter how GOOD life is to you. It is a literal curse. Sure, maybe she'll feel better soon. But then she'll feel bad again. And then worse. And then better. This cycle continues forever and there is no way around it. I'm pretty sure she's said this herself before. So. There's that.
Marissa Swain that's fine but I just want to make sure you understand that just because I have a healthy brain it doesn't mean I'm happy or am guaranteed to have a happy life. Just because I'm not depressed it doesn't not mean I'm not sad. Heathy people are not always happy. Not every poor person can feel fulfilled nor can every stick person fully come to terms with their illness. Through the way you have commented it seems you have a lot of animosity towards people who are not depressed which I do have to question.
Hey Hannah, sorry I hadn't even seen your comment. I was replying to Tara really, not you. But yes obviously not every person with a healthy brain is happy. I know that. We all have things that we go through. I'm simply saying that by having a healthy brain, you do have the ABILITY to be happy. After going through something difficult, it is more probable that you will be able to feel better again in a shorter amount of time, in comparison to someone dealing with a mental illness. Which isn't a bad thing, it's a great thing. And I don't have any animosity towards people without mental illness. I have it towards the world itself lol. I won't pretend i'm not bitter about it. But I wouldn't wish the torture on a mental illness on anyone. That's why I was trying to explain that in my original comment, I wasn't saying that I wish EVERYONE felt depressed. I was saying I wish NO ONE was.
Also I hadn't seen the part where you said you had been dealing with some issues for a long time yourself, until now. Sorry about that. I hope you're able to overcome whatever things that you've been going through one day. x
Marissa Swain ah that's okay sorry I hadn't realised. All I'll say is that although there isn't currently a cure for mental illness I hope you can at least see that there are many things that can help. Things that can break that cycle maybe not forever but at least for a little while. It's probably the depression talking when you can see no way out of it. But there are steps you can take to relieve it a little
rubs your head Gimme some of that eternal happiness. ; v ;
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Green Spikes2017-10-07 16:22:04 (edited 2017-10-07 16:23:46 )
Perfect Little Planet ||Very sensitive persons can feel depressed... Cause they think of everything and at the bad things SOMETIMES, you know.☺The thing that can make you feel better if you're depressed? DO SOMETHING. Anything. Phisical Exercise is good for mental health.😊||
i just ran across this video and I love it, simply because you just put into words exactly what I'm feeling currently. I genuinely searched 'I am sad' on youtube, and this video popped up. I feel seen, which is the most cliche phrase ever, but right now, it feels nice. It's good to know that I'm not alone (even though I know I'm not). Thank you.
I just love the vibe of your videos. Your voice, the environment you film in and the way you tell stories is so relaxing and makes me feel so chill and happy💖
I love that this video is back. It describes my feelings so well and I come back to it every ones in a while to feel less alone in this. We love this girl ❤️
Dodie, I know you're doing amazing things and you'll probably never see this, but I want you to know that this video helps me when I'm depressed feel just a tad less alone. I know you put this video on private and then unlisted it, but I just want you to know I appreciate this. I feel like I have someone to feel things with.
ive watched this video several times when i feel depressed , and its given me so much strength and i realise I'm not the only one in this situation. i love you dodie , thank you xxxx
i haven't been on this channel in a few years, but this video is something i'll never forget. i remember when it first got uploaded, and while i've never been diagnosed with anything, i could really resonate with what you were saying - it made me feel heard, like i wasn't alone, and i'll always feel grateful for that. sometimes when i'm sad, i'll check on your channel and look for this video again though with no luck. much to my surprise, i just found it's been unlisted and you can't imagine how happy i was to find it again! even if i'm not in the same place i was all those years ago, even if i am doing much better than before, knowing this video is still around and available feels like a huge safe place. i know this was random, but thank you sm and i hope you too are doing better. {:
I was at a friend's birthday party yesterday, and the entire time I was there I felt awkward and uncomfortable. Everyone was laughing and screaming and I felt like I wasn't really there. Then about halfway through the party, I snapped and completely shut down. We were all sitting in the living room and watching a movie, and I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was staring at the TV screen, I could hear what the characters were saying, I understood everything that was going on, and I could hear everyone laughing and joking around and I just felt so detached. One of my friends asked me what was wrong and I could hear her but I felt so distant so I just kept nodding and saying I was fine but I was so spaced out that I couldn't even bring myself back like I'm usually able to and it was one of the worst feelings ever because I felt like I was ruining my friend's birthday party with my detachment. I just wanted to be at home, and I felt so lonely, despite being in a room full of people.
I've been looking into that for quite a bit in the past month, and it lines up perfectly with how I feel. Not sure where to go from here, but it's comforting to be close to having a label; a reminder that what I'm feeling isn't my fault.
Adia Ivory that's called an off day. Definitely doesn't mean you have depression.
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Charlie R.2017-07-28 01:27:57 (edited 2017-08-04 04:53:39 )
Cerys D x I'm positive I don't have Depression or anything like that, I just wouldn't consider how I'm feeling an off day because this happens very frequently
This literally happened at my friends birthday party/sleepover to me and I broke down and cried, I tried to explain but I couldn't, I think one friend kinda understood but idk, I had just been hyper aware all day, alert to everything and it was a lot to process (i have Aspergers) I guess it was too much because my brain switched off and stopped processing information. I felt very detatched and isolated but I felt better after I had cried, had some food, talked to my friends. I felt shaky for a while but everything kinda went back to normal again.
Seph Kennedy actually, they’re edamame beans :) you can buy them in single serving bags. you empty them into a bowl, salt them as much as you please, and then microwave them and they’re a good snack for a healthy diet or when you’re depressed. i highly recommend them
i always come to this video when i’m feeling this type of depression like i know it’s chemical-based and not an over exaggeration of a situation i’d be going through. idk why but i feel less alone and feel a bit better when i watch this so thank you dodie <3
Oh my god. I’ve never heard someone put into words exactly what I was feeling, especially when you were talking about how physical the depression feels, like you can feel the chemical changes in your brain. I tried explaining this to so many doctors and they didn’t understand me. Thank you so much for this.
I can relate to most of what you said. I haven't been to a psychiatrist nor have I been diagnosed, but I have days just like this (today was one of them). Dodie, thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts with us, I think there definitely needs to be more awareness of mental illness. Though, I am sorry you are going through this, I am glad you can give some awareness to people. You may help other's who are struggling and aren't sure what's wrong find some help by maybe going to see a psychiatrist or something. Thank you!
Ive probably already said this but thank you for this video. I watch it when I’m having a depressed day and I empathize completely. So well explained. Just so well. Hope you’re having a good day.
I’m watching this for the 400th time because today was one of my bad days yet again. Just felt like commenting into the void that this is how I feel today and I need to remind myself that it’s okay to feel this way.
I love how real this video is. I honestly feel like this most days. Probably a bit selfish but it’s interesting to see someone else going through similar things. Makes me feel less alone.
i have watched this so many times, i already know what she will say and say it with her while i eat my edamame beans and drink sum tea. it doesn't magically make me feel better but it does give me some to distract myself with and not feel so alone.
lmao when i get depressed i dont wanna get dressed or showered, or out of bed and so i don't, until my anxiety goes um everyone is gonna think you're gross and lazy so i'm like FUKC SAK E
Zoe H that's actually really interesting tbh.when my depression is really bad i feel the need to do everything like showering or chores over and over again just so something feels normal
Zoe H I can strongly relate because being depressed just like takes all your energy until your left like a lump on the floor and i don't want to do anything...i'm a particularly depressed rn so yeah....honestly i don't want to do anything but of course i have to go to my dad's🤦🏽♀️wish me luck😓
when I'm feeling particularly depressed i dont wanna do anything. it's like I'm too physically weak to do anything. I also can't feel anything other than a kind of heaviness and weakness. it's weird how it takes all my energy to do nothing. literally nothing. I could sit on the floor and just be exhausted.
Zoe H For some reason, even though I'm extremely tired, I always have to take a really long shower when I'm depressed. Just because I'd rather feel depressed and clean then be depressed an smell like vagina
Zoe H yeah that's me right now. I just ran because I thought that could help for some reason and now I'm just gonna not shower and lay staring at my ceiling for hours. I hate the contrast between depression and anxiety because I want to just lay in my bed forever but I know that if I don't shower right now I'm gonna have acne and I hate it ugh
i'd like to point out to you that every single depression is different. some depressions last life times, some comes in waves. please decide to educate yourself even slightly on a topic before trying to tell people that they are wrong for something they may have experience with :)
depression, social phobia. if perfectionism prevents you from doing your tasks, your mind goes crazy, you panic, your body is affected in every possible way, heart racing, you want to vomit. you're afraid you won't keep up to your self-made too high expectations. in the end you've done nothing, not even the easiest task and feel like a failure..and that's another story
Neil Mcinnis you obviously never struggled with depression... depression doesn't just disappear when you decide to go on a walk or go out to eat!! Whether or not you are struggling with something in life, depression will come unannounced.It doesn't just disappear just because your mom is planning a trip!!! Depression is of course different for all people. People with depression ARENT SPOILED BRATS!!!!!!!!!
Same. And i feel so gross bc i havent showered in like three days all ive been doing is laying in bed and its so horrible. Like Im so depressed i feel numb and i dont even feel like an actual person anymore.
You're literally the First person ever that would actually understand how I feel. My mom is really kind and helps me a lot with my depression but she doesn’t understand... Im sorry that you have to feel like that but I'm relieved that im not the only one who feels like that
i know that this video was made in a dark place. and it was made years ago. and she doesn’t want people to see this side of her first off. but i watch this every time i feel depressed or just kind of sad in general. and it brings me a little bit up. so thank you for this video. i cry every time i watch it, but it’s good. i get something out of this video. and in case you ever see this, thank you.
I remember when they played a clip of this video in a panel at vidcon. You and three other people were talking about your impact on the youtube space. It was one of the most emotional days of my life. Once you saw the clip you cried, as it reminded you that you were depressed, and i couldnt handle it. I burst out crying, i was shaking, trying not to be loud. You looked over, saw me, and asked if i was okay with the best smile you could do. Thankyou dodie for making me cry. It may not seem like a good thing, but feeling something was really what i needed then. I love you and your videos, please feel better (everythin will be ok)
I work six days a week, and how you described what your brain feels like is exactly how I felt yesterday on my day off. I've been feeling fine the whole week, and had a bunch of stuff planned that I needed to get done I just woke up totally in a different head space and exactly as you described.. I wish I could control my brain 😢 but I also remind myself that it's okay to be kind to myself on those days and just go through the motions
Dotty, thank you for this video. I haven’t watched your videos in a while because life is crazy but this video has always stuck out to me. I personally do not have any diagnosed mental illnesses, nor do I believe I have any, but knowing someone I have looked up to and admired has rough days/weeks/months/etc really helps me when I have a rough day/week/month/etc.
i watch this video everytime i feel like this because in those moments i can relate to almost every single thing you're saying lol. makes me feel a little better, thanks
Ninidude amazing job!!! I've been about 3 years clean. I used to self harm when I was younger and I'm so proud of everyone who is at least 1 day clean!!
good for you! I hope you feel proud of yourself. you deserve it. you should treat yourself :) you are so strong and you should celebrate progress no matter how big or small:)
THATS FRICKEN GREAT! i've been a year clean and it feels amazing! every little milestone is a little closer to feeling yay about yourself and that is amazing
So proud of you xxxxxx I know how difficult it is to stop self harming but trust me, as soon as you hit a year of no self harm it some how becomes the easiest thing.
i've been seven months clean and broke it yesterday. this video described all my feelings. i am so proud of you for being clean, i hope it continues. much love 🌬💕
thewewguy8t88 no, never do that. so many people would be devastated if you did that. i would be devastated. dont let people do that to u. just block them haters out, if they really say those things, their opinion shouldnt matter.
It’s very phisical the sensation for me too. Specially when I feel right again, I can actually notice my brain feeling different, like itching even lol.
I don't have depression. At least I don't think so. At least... Well I'm not sure. But I get days when I'm just so.... So unmotivated to do anything. Everything is a hassle, and I feel like I'm bored, and empty, and nothing can fill that feeling.
I started to watch this video and once you started describing how you felt, I had to pause the video because I started to tear up. Because that's how I feel sometimes. That's how I feel right now. So I wrote this comment.
So thank you for this video Dodie, it's already making me feel better because it feels like you know exactly how my brain is feeling and you are talking about it. And I'm enjoying your voice, and listening to you, so thank you 💕
Jill Stephenson I relate 100% to this comment. I still really need to talk to my parents about it cuz I really need help. It's getting worse I think. I'm starting to think of ways I could die, and imagining the whole thing. I even think about hurting myself but I don't.
I hope your alright, remember that its okay to feel sad sometimes and that its all going to be alright in the end. you are loved and you are valued. love from the other side of the world.
@sleepyheadvinyl u should talk to anyone u trust, it may be teacher, friend, sibling, school's psychologists, literally anyone, u should tell them about the way u feel, tell them everything that will come to your mind
@sleepyheadvinyl u should never ignore the way u feel, mental health is so important, u need to talk to anyone about this, you're worth, beautiful, smart and ENOUGH just the way u are, u deserve to be the most happy YOU, u deserve all the happiness in the world, don't let anyone tell u that u don't
@lenjaminbang hi there :) I never saw all these replies on my comment until now. I still haven't done anything, but I'm about to go to university so I may pursue some resources there. I'm not quite as bad as I was before, but it's still not good. Thank you for being so kind and checking in
@jillyfish hi :) nice to hear that it's going at least a bit better, and university sounds exciting! Using their resources is a great idea! I wish you all the best :)
I am depressed today. I remembered about this video. I watched it. I remembered I'm not alone. Thank you Dodie. I'm going to go to bed now and try again tomorrow. x
"nothing is easy" GOSH that's exactly how i feel when i'm depresssed it's so suffocating it's ROUGH but i'm glad i'm not alone and that other people also feel this way
I absolutley love you. I listen to your music when i need to calm down. I remember you being so shy and unsure of yourself and then you gained all this confidence and became a star❤️❤️
For every friend I’ve reached out to, Ive described the heavy feeling I’ve had and nobody got it. And you described it exactly how I have. And now I know. Thank you.
I like watching these videos dodie makes on her anxiety and depression, helps me put things in perception and helps me think about what I’m going through when I need to.
This is exactly how I feel on my down days. Thankfully not very often now but today is one. I'm sitting on the couch drinking tea. That's all I'll be doing today! Hopefully tomorrow will be back to normal!
thank you for talking about your mental health stuff. i really needed a reminder today that i’m not alone in what i’m feeling. i know i’m depressed, i just never know how to describe how it feels. i feel like this will definitely help me communicate with my therapist. thank you again❤️
Honestly this video helps me... it is what I feel sometimes and of course I don't want others to experience depression, but there is comfort in seeing I'm not alone. It was very kind of you to share ❤
A year ago when I saw this video ,I had depression but didn’t really understand it but now after watching this again i feel a sense of fulfillment since the way you described it made me recognize that that’s exactly what I’m feeling so thank you
Guys, if you think you have depression and you really don't fit into every single detail Dodie is describing, it's still possible you may have depression.
You can have depression and get cheered up by things or not.
It just depends on you.
Everyone's different.
But before you come to conclusions, ask a therapist.
Definitely. People can have less severe or more severe kind of depression than she's going through. All valid. It's hard defining depression other than feeling blue, or feeling like giving up. When watching her, I'm like good for you, you got up and got yourself a healthy snack. You're miles ahead of me and my progress.
@A3NA67 yea. If so many people would stop pretending, the depressed people would have more people to talk to. Someone happy to shine a light near them. At least that's how I feel about the whole situation.
I found this video oddly comforting. I’m having a really low day and my depression seems to have crept up on me again, and it’s nice to see a video of someone just accepting that they are depressed and that it’s okay. I felt when I was watching it that you were like a depressed friend and we could just be depressed together. There are an abundance of videos out there on how to help depression, but sometimes I feel the need to just sit in my depression for a bit in order to move on. This video was helpful for that.
i love this video so much.. it is so comforting to know im not the only one who feels this way lol im so glad i saved it to a playlist some years ago i was sad i couldnt find it
what a great, great video!! just wow, this is extremely well done - i was able to really understand what you were talking about although i never suffered from depression etc. this was so good... :)
- i hated "choose happiness" when i was depressed because i was like THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO ME but now i realize that when you're not depressed this is actually a useful and valid saying!!! - i reallllllly felt the waterslide thing - thats the worst though, when you're home alone in bed, at least there are no expectations of happiness but when you're out surrounded by people who find happiness in the surroundings it just makes you feel more out of place & broken than your normal depressed self feels - i know that scared feeling that you'll never feel joy again & its so scary cause depression is so unpredictable
anyway, if going on medication is scaring you, (and you've tried everything else) i highly recommend it. they start you off on a low dose & if you're feeling okay they will increase it a bit. i went on zoloft (which is an SSRI) and it worked incredibly well for me!!! i'm not on it anymore & am no longer depressed!
i really really know how you're feeling, you're certainly not alone in these thoughts (which is something i wish i knew when i was going through this) and listen to your happy self & know that things will get better - life is a rollercoaster but when you're depressed the "downs" feel TOO DEEP thats why its SO important that you are ACTIVELY SEEKING help!!!
i don't know if you believe in God or not, but i do & i'm praying for you! <3
So in history we learn of the invisible hand It's basically where a higher power brings you down when you're high. And brings you up on your low Invisible hand it is keeping you in balance ig. So like it'll bring you down when you get your hopes up. But it will lift you up when you have no hope left But the thing about it is, when it drags you down, it eventually has to pick you back up
lea i went on zoloft (called sertraline usually in the UK) last year and it was the worst thing ive ever done. it DESTROYED my sleep (i literally slept about 1hr a night), i had horrific panic attacks (which werent a symptom of mine originally), i vomited, and i was unable to get out of bed for like 4 weeks.
medications unfortunately arent a quick fix for most people...they can be horrofically damaging and actually make thing worse.
my friend recently got given sertraline and she was similar to me. she was really ill for about 6 weeks....then she took an overdose of the pills as she felt suicidal.
please please please be careful with ssris. for a hell of a lot of people they are a TERRIBLE idea. stay in close contact with any dr that prescribes you, notice any worsening of symptoms...they say it takes about a month to get used to a med but dont put up with feeling like death for too long. if youre getting severe side effects then it probably isnt doing you much good.
look into the link between the gut mkcrobiota and depression....its really interesting and has some promising finds. focussing on my diet and thinking about my gut composition has really helped my mood recently.
hanzib31 wow, to have such horrid side effects on sertraline might be the doctors fault for not Starting her off slow with small doses and slowly go up. thats what i did and all i had was a bit of headache for a week or two. its still a quite “soft“ medication, but you have to build it up
I agree so much with this, for those with depression you cannot simply choose to be happy and so it just makes you hate yourself more when people say that you're not trying to be positive
Solid Gold i took 20mg which is a normalish starting dose. within 30mins of taking it I was feeling off...within 2 hours i was vomiting....my friend was started on 100mg (WAY too high) and was a total mess from the beginning. so mamy drs dont know enough about these things.. when my friend took the overdose the hospital ended up writing a letter of complaint to the dr for giving her such a high dose.
patients themselves need to do more research before taking these things as drs sometimes mess up unfortunately.
hanzib31 ive only ever taken sertraline so i dont know much about other antidepressants. seems like your body really didnt like the zoloft though. we all react differently to medication i guess!
i am depressed as well. i also suffer from ptsd ...i just want to thank you you are the reason i am seeing a therapist now .it was hard to accept that i had a problem i didnt think normal people needed someone to talk to so i held it all in and every once in a while i would have a bad "freak out" and lost alot of friends ...i just want you to know i love you so much for making these vids ! keep making them if you can! thank you dodie
The thing that upsets me most about my depression/anxiety is the fact that I know that when I get better I'm going to have to fix the mess I made (friendships that are going to shit and me messing up two years of uni). Of course I want to get better but thinking about the mess I'm going to have to clean up makes me anxious af.
leahkarlijn i feel the exact same, i'm losing one of my best friends and failed this school year and i know that these things won't go awaywhen i don't have depression and anxiety anymore and it scares me
leahkarlijn my depression took away a good portion of my childhood, and now being 15, and in high school, my anxiety and the aftermath (and on going) of my depression is fucking up this part of my life. It doesn't matter how optimistic I am, my mind is constantly at war with its self. I hope you are ok, you will be ok. Love from Australia.
one of my firneds went through something similar...we haven't seen each other for ages but I dont think our friendship has gone to shit, because I understand it's super hard for her to keep in touch.Ill be here for her when she's ready. I expect theres people there for you too, please dont worry. your health comes before everything.
sometimes i'm like that, I'm not depressed but I occasionally do feel bouts of depression. And then I just want to slip into that mental state forever because what's the point? If I try and stop it, I'll feel stress and sadness and anguish and irritation and guilt. Sometimes, it feels like I'd just rather feel nothing. I guess I haven't felt proper depression before.
leahkarlijn this is why I need to believe in a higher power. I don’t believe I can do a damn thing by myself. So I have to have faith that God is going to help me with these things and comfort me. It works for me. I don’t feel like I’m living this life by myself.
I relate to this on a spiritual level. I feel like Im always trying to recreate the past cause I was so happy then and I felt so excited about everything...
this video honestly helped me so much, theres just something so oddly therapeutic about someone describing exactly how you feel on the inside but at the same time knowing that if it will get better for them, it will get better for you. that's all.
i know this video isn't very positive. but everytime i feel lost i watch this, and somehow it's kind of calming me down, because dodie can just talk about it.
Thanks for being so open, this actually kind of helped. I decided to try just opening up voice memos on my phone and pretending to have a conversation about why I'm feeling so down and I feel a bit better now. Anyone out there who doesn't have a friend to listen to them atm maybe try this. let me know how it goes, you'll be okay.
Especially when you said "like I can't open my eyes wide enough" I FEEL THAT EXACTLY WHEN IM GOING THROUGH DPDR! It's like you're blind, you've put it exactly how I've tried to express it before 💓
my best friend recommended that i watch some of your videos on anxiety/depression after i had a panic attack in the bathroom at work the other day because i LITERALLY said the exact same thing you said at 2:25 to her and she told me i need to have empathy for myself so here i am crying at 12:30 am on a friday night and i’m just very thankful for this vulnerable video
This video was amazing, randomly popped up in my recommended and I just feel so bad for you, I don’t suffer from depression, well I hope I don’t but in some ways I felt and experienced what you said spiritually and I can only hope you get better and maintain for the rest of your life, may God bless you
It's terrible, I'm at a really low point and I'm actually about to try to tell someone about it right after this. I have no idea how to explain it other then it's like I'm a piece in a board game and I'm being moved around and reacting to things but I'm not the player who's making the decisions and feeling the emotions.
that's EXACTLY how i feel you put it into words so well. i've always described it as like im an npc in a video game with no control or feel of what im doing, im just doing what i was like. programmed to do
Laiah Clay it’s when your body just doesn’t obey you, like you’re trapped and forced to be sad no matter how bad you want to be happy as you are chained down by chemicals. It’s so weird and crazy.
lazy laiah also, Dodie has dpd (depersonalisation disorder or it’s at least something like that) which also means that it will amplify it for her and a lot of what she described was that
Don't feel bad for not knowing if you did. I used to think I knew what depression was until it hit me and I didn't even understand what was happening to me. I was an Ahole to several people I didn't realize were just crying for help. I thought they were just weird and being drama queens.. If I knew then what I know now.. It eats at me when i'm down too. People say to focus on the good but when you're at a low, it is almost impossible to do. All you think of are the bad things that have happened to you or that you've done. Because how can you possibly be worth anything. You're worthless and want to know someone cares, but you hide in your house and mask how you feel when your friends or family call or text because you don't want to scare them away or be a downer so often that they don't want to be around you anymore (which happens sometimes, at least in my experience.) Then before you know it, people stop calling and texting because you've been like this for years and they don't know why you aren't around anymore. Well that just makes those bad thoughts cement. It all must be true. Nobody cares about me right? I'll just continue to be alone. Sometimes you can feel like this for minutes, or sometimes days on end. I wouldn't wish the feeling on my worst enemy. In fact, my "best friend" supposedly struggled too and now I get to wonder if our friendship ended because they were actually a narcissistic snake like I want to think and like I called them, or if they were just in the same place I was and we tore eachother apart out of hurt. That's depression how i've come to know it, and that's the short version.
Sometimes it feels terrible and you become afraid of yourself and your mind. Other days you can’t feel at all and beg yourself to feel something, even pain. Then there are days where you completely check out and can’t even come to conclusions, you just sit there staring at a wall not moving for an hour b/c you’re too gone or you don’t feel like your capable. The worse days too me are where you dissociate/depersonalize and can’t recognize yourself in the mirror. Those days I can’t even look at myself and I don’t feel present- it just feels like complete and utter nothingness. At that point there’s no good reason to live. Anyways have a nice day :)
i used to watch this video so much to cope up with my depressive episodes & i haven't watched this in a while and now i'm bacc but things are surprisingly better than it was before
Is it odd that I watch this, and it’s slightly therapeutic? Like I always find myself watching this when I’m not feeling my best, and having her talk about all this openly genuinely helps me. It reminds me I’m not the only one feeling all these bad things, and that it will go by eventually and sometimes it’s okay for it to just be there.
I'm 5 months sober and 2 months clean from self-harm and I got tattoos recently to conceal them damn scars... Not symptom-free but still going with my therapy. Love you guys.
I have depression and this was really relatable. I have been having a depression episode off and on lately, right now included. I am a guy in my twenties btw, people tend to think it's just women or middle aged people. Nope. I feel so stupid all the time, sometimes there's even feelings of guilt. really it doesn't matter if they are justified, the feeling won't go away.
i remembered vaguely seeing this a bit ago but i didn’t watch it, however now that im really feeling the affects of this particular depressive episode i decided id give it a watch and ive never felt so understood. thank you for making this
I always come back to this video when I'm feeling depressed because it feels so good do have someone to relate to.
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ella jane2017-03-12 03:16:46 (edited 2017-03-12 03:18:18 )
ok can someone tell me if there's a reason for how i feel? a name or something? idk if it's "depression" bc i don't even feel that bad or that deep sadness associated with depression. but oftentimes i kind of feel like i have to make an effort to interact - like i'll be in a conversation and i hear the words but i have to make myself laugh. i go on the internet when i'm bored and read stupid buzzfeed articles and watch youtube and netflix but i still just feel this weird... boredom?? sort of blank and unfulfilled. idk it's not bad. it's kind of like what dodie was describing in the middle of the video but i'm not thatttt affected by it? maybe i'm just tired. i don't know
ukelella The first thing I noticed, a little while before I entered my full-on breakdown was that I was forcing myself to laugh in places where it used to be natural. Like it was a weird reflex even though I didn't actually feel happy like I used to. But I didn't think I counted as depressed because I just felt numb and exhausted all the time. Not sad, really, because I wasn't feeling much of anything. Eventually the anxiety caught up with me and filled the void in my chest, but it was always thoughts like "wouldn't it be nice if I just: [examples include everything from "passed out" to "got shot"] so that I could just... stop. Everything.". Because I just felt too tired for anything to be worth the effort it took. I want to tell you that it counts. Depression comes in a lot of different forms, and if it gets to the point where you can't feel happy anymore, then you deserve help.
thank you so much for this i am relating so much !! are you doing better bc this has been happening to me for a long time and i don't really know what to do at this point. it wrecks social situations for me and my anxiety is yikes but it's not really all-encompassing. it comes and goes in phases
ukelella The coming and going is honestly the worst thing for getting help! After the worst of it (when I had transferred back to a college near home -- yup, I ran away from all my new friends... oops) I had been feeling like crap for awhile and finally asked my mom to schedule a doctor's appointment. Then I felt fine for a little bit a couple weeks later and canceled it... and that happened a couple times. I only ended up actually going to see someone when the anxiety was consistently keeping me from falling asleep. I love sleep, so I had no patience for that! :P. With all that, actually getting to a doctor took a couple years after my original breakdown. WAY too long, but what's done is done. I AM doing a bit better, though. I ended up going on Wellbutrin (since a few people in my family were on it and liked it), and since it kicked in, the anxiety hasn't gotten so bad... Honestly, before my anxiety even started affecting my sleep, the littlest things would make me scream inside. And that was BEFORE winter! My mood always tanks when it gets cold. But, lucky for me, Wellbutrin is also shown to help with Seasonal Depression, and honestly, this winter has been really good, relatively speaking. I'm still mostly functional and I wake up a lot more awake with a couple hours less sleep than I usually need in the cold months. And I can handle little things just fine most of the time, even if big things still get to me. I still need to go see a therapist one of these days... I keep putting it off... But I've never been back to the low that I hit then, and that's really nice! :)
i mean i already have anxiety. depression runs in my family so i guess it might make sense. i've never really looked into what depersonalization is, but it might make sense in my case idk. my problem is that i only feel this way sometimes. i'm anxious a lot, but i only get in these moods usually at night or once in a while. it's never been like weeks of feeling gross ya kno
that's how I've been feeling lately. all I want to do is stay in my room all day and I'm always hopping from youtube to Netflix...like I'm trying to fill a void or something but it's not bad. it just feels empty.
ukelella literally my life although I think it's because... this is gonna get deep but I'll try make it short
My mom doesn't live with me also my nan makes fun of her IN FRONT OF ME oh yeah much more My grandad almost kidnapped me I live with my step mom little sister and big brother but not with my little brother My friend is a drama queen I hit her with a disc on accident and she tells her mom I'm a bitch I think my boyfriend is gay Nobody gets me
Yep I feel you. I feel too sad to do anything productive but then I wonder if I should try harder to do it because I'm so bored by everything else I do to try to fill my time. My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and we still love each other. But my drinking caused too many problems. It made me do and say things I can't relate to when I'm sober. I miss him so much and I haven't told anyone so I'm telling YouTube
Hello, this is my last term in college and I'm gonna explain the situation cause I don't know whether it's normal or not. I am literally an anti-social person with anxiety, I can't talk to people easily and I have nearly no friends at school, and I somehow managed to survive like this for about 4 years. But this term, as you said, I am feeling numb and exhausted all the time, like I have a big stone in my head. And I feel like I have no energy to go out or even do something. I can't concentrate on any of my responsibilities. This is the worst cause I have a lot of work needs to be done to graduate. Also I am getting angry very easily, feeling down and giving up easily. Most of the time I'm angry to myself for being a person like this, and I take my anger out on people around me, this ruins my relationships with everyone. I am sick of being alone and I really want to gradute! What should I do? Can anyone help me please :'(
trust me it's not my personality. i'm a very social person and an extrovert. just lately i haven't been able to get myself into any interactions or feel involved
ukelella I feel the same but I go on as usual and everything but, almost nothing intrigues me, art used to be my escape but it's starting to become a pressure since I want to maybe pursue it as a career and I need to improve, it just took the fun out and now everything is blank, blank faces blank papers, blank screens, I don't think I could be seriously diagnosed with anything it's just a constant state of boredom and numbness, I'm always longing for a person to come with interesting views or a striking personality to brighten up my life a bit but then I get mad at myself because I'm taking the friends I do have for granted idk I kinda just wanted to rant a bit maybe it's just my personality
A bit late, but you could very well be experiencing a mild depression. It can be very hard to realize that you're dealing with depression in the very early stages because it's so subtle.
For example, I was first diagnosed with depression when I was eleven. It came on suddenly and it came on strong. It was painful and all-consuming, but with proper treatment it went away after two years.
So from that point, from ages 13-15 I was fine and extremely healthy and happy. When I turned sixteen, the depression slowly started coming back, but I didn't realize it at the time because it started off so mild. I could go to school, I could take care of myself (study, do my homework, fix food for myself, and exercise), and I still enjoyed hanging out with friends and watching television, etc. But something just felt, "off." I felt bored, exhausted, and nothing was as exciting anymore. I thought I was just burned out from school, y'know?
I had this impression that depression was supposed to be horribly noticeable, because that was my very first experience with it. So when it came on so subtlety I didn't even realize that it was, in fact, depression.
Fast forward to when I was 17-18, and I realized that I was in fact depressed and that it was getting worse - *way worse. * I dropped out of traditional schooling and decided to homeschool for my senior year (because my anxiety couldn't cope otherwise). By the end of my senior year, I "flunked out" on homeschooling. I made perfect grades - all A's - but I didn't finish all of the coursework on time so I didn't graduate.
I couldn't get out of bed for weeks at a time, I couldn't bring myself to shower or brush my teeth (even if I wanted to), and I couldnt feed myself. I'd starve for a week at a time because I had no energy to make food for myself. Any time I would attempt to get out of bed, my body felt like a 100lb dead weight and it felt like I was moving in slow motion. I felt like I never slept even though I slept constantly.
The depression caused me to always be sick with a lowly cold or flu for most of each year. I'm twenty now and I'm still very sick, and I've left my house less than ten times in four years. I'm completely disabled and unable to work due to my depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. But I'm still trying to take care of myself and get my GED in the meantime. It's a real fight.
But the point of my story is that, if there's a chance that you feel that you have depression (even if it's just mild), you should really get checked out by a doctor. Because depression almost always worsens over time and it can get to the point to where it ruins your entire life. You have a much better chance at recovering very fast (with proper treatment) if you manage to catch it early and stop it in it's tracks.
Does all of this make sense? I know my comment is a mile long but I felt it was really important for you to understand this. This is what I wish I'd known years ago, but maybe my experience could help someone else and save them from the same grief that I went through. 💖💖
this is kind of how i felt in the beginning of this year and the past year or so. The only thing I can tell you is that I know it feels permanent and that you may never feel real joy again, but I promise that you will. Everything may seem fake and plastic in a way, but one day the veil will open and your eyes will widen once more, and you will be genuinely happy. I can't say I'm perfect right now, but I am working on it. I hope you feel better xx
I feel like this a lot too? Maybe a lot of people can relate to this type of thing? But, idk, I just feel sort of numb, even when doing things that I usually enjoy and it's worrying me. I don't know what's wrong...
This is exactly how I feel. Sometimes I feel like my life's a bore,and that I have to go out. I get sad when that happens But other times I don't mind being by myself.
ukelella i experienced this a lot last summer. i really think for me it was caused by loneliness and the fact that my "friends" didn't bring me as much happiness and joy as they used to ... i felt really lonely and that nothing was as much fun as it used to be and I didn't know if i would ever find people that I genuinely liked to be around. I still feel it quite a lot but realizing that that was it helped me a bit
i feel the same way and it's so nice to see that i'm not the only one feeling this way. i feel numb and my chest feels heavy. i don't make effort to smile nor talk. i just go on the internet or sleep when i'm like this. it's awful when i go to school, because there's so much thing that i have to force myself to do. smile, listen, talk, laugh. but i don't bother nowadays.
is it depression though? i really dont want to think that having this feeling; the numbess and emptiness is bc of it. because there's so many things to be grateful in my life that i feel i shouldn't behave in this way. i have my parents, i'm not poor, i have a small group of friends who care in a way, i'm healthy. my point is that there are things that i'm grateful for, but why am i feeling this way?
Sometimes, I have this feeling for short amounts of times. When I was small, it happened a lot. But lately it’s been happening more. Most of the time it only lasts for a few minutes. She perfectly described how it felt. I hope this doesn’t turn into a thing that lasts longer than a few seconds. If anyone has an explanation, please tell me! 😓😓
I'm not someone that deals with Major Depressive Disorder, y'know the typical and common depression that I know a lot of people deal with. I have dysthymia which is persistent depressive disorder, in other words high functioning depression. I've finally figured out a way to describe it:
Think of walking with shackles that have those balls that are attached to them. Now imagine everytime you ignore your problems, or unhealthy cope, or you're not feeling productive or worthy or in the moment that those little weighted balls get bigger and yet you're still walking upright. Think of all the times you supress yourself, or feel down, or make a mistake and hate yourself for it that those weights continue to grow in size until you are met with a mountain as big as them. Try climbing up that mountain. Imagine getting halfway up, only for your shackles to bring you back down to the bottom again. Imagine trying to jump over a hole in the middle of your path. You can't walk around it, so you have to jump. You make a headstart but are hit with the fact you have a lot of unfinished business to deal with but have had no motivation to. You jump and yet you never make it over until you learn to take the shackles off, only to repeat the process. Dysthymia is like a bug. That bug is a problem. You ignore it, and more come until you are basically inhaling them. You find the solution and then have another bug. You carry your baggage like there's nothing wrong. No one realizes that your stuck in your thoughts or that your empty because you can function. It's persistent depressive episode and an almost euthymic or apathetic state. You're numb. You're fatigued. You're depressed and no matter how many times you try to tell people, they'll tell you you're faking it.
Hello. It's new year's and I've relapsed so I come here so I won't feel so alone. Im sorry that this depression thing exists, but im grateful that there are people like Dodie and her lovely community who give comfort in shared suffering. So here's to a better 2019. Cheers, mate 💜
Thanks a lot. Sometimes I feel sad, anguished, lonely and unloved, but I know I'll wake up better because this is not my normal state. Overthinking from anxiety is more like my normal state. I'm scared of being depressed and this showed me the difference between an actual problem and some dark cloud moments everyone is allowed to have, especially during quarantine. Also, it's amazing how her voice is tired and she's not okay, but still she talks in her charismatic way. I admire her.
StephThePenguin Unless you're allergic to dogs, or you dislike puppies, or you're indifferent to them, or you don't feel as if you can look after it, etc. That's the problem with humans. Too many variables. I think the problem with depression is the belief things can be objectively bad, or just beliefs in general. Depersonalisation is fine, a 'person' is just a mechanism for the rest of the organism to survive, like the heart or lungs. People probably aren't what they think they are, haha. Feeling like things aren't real is alright, you can't actually prove that this universe is real/the base reality anyway. Being real doesn't give it anything extra. Human life is play pretend, but that's fine. I guess I'm a bit nihilistic, but I just find it funny. Maybe happiness is overrated. Sorry, long response. Also a late response, you probably won't see this, lol. :)
This is correct omg. Is it weird that I have been feeling depressed for the past two years and now I'm getting another dog but I'm not that excited even tho it's so cute? Relatable? Help?
Really hope you found a way to cope with this. I hope you're ok, and i'm sorry that you felt that way. If I knew you, I would tell you that I wanted nothing more than to talk to you every day, because it would make me feel better just knowing you were there and ok. I've gotten to know it too well too. If anyone is reading this, I just want you to know that you may not feel important to anyone but you're at a minimum important to me, a random stranger. You are loved. Thank you for this video if you see this. It helped me tonight.
You describe my symptoms and feelings perfectly. Maybe I was always depressed and the dp/dr came from it but now it very much seems that dp/dr causes a lot of my sadness and anxiety now. I’m better than I was a few months ago but damn it still can really get to me sometimes. It’s fucking nonsense and the only thing that helps is getting to vent about it from time to time and just put it into words like you do here. This video rules.
please dodie never put that video in private. i love it so much, it helped me a lot somehow. I actually watch it everytime I am feeling really bad and it helps me a lot . Thank you for making this video ilysm & please never delete it
I'm depressed today too. I've been depressed every day for almost a year now and... yeah, this. Not the depersonalisation stuff (I don't think?) but everything else... yeah. Exactly, you manage to say exactly what I'm feeling (as always). I spend all my free time endlessly scrolling through tumblr and just trying to make the hours disappear because I don't have the energy (emotional OR physical) to actually do anything.
If anyone's reading this I will say that pills are good. I was on them for a while and they did help me a lot (then I came off them and WELP). After all, depression is chemical imbalances in your brain, so chemical assistance to put it right does make a difference.
That's a common way to feel, but pills are really nothing to be afraid of. What they're doing is artificially giving you the things that your brain is failing to produce naturally, they don't (as fearmongers like to say) actually change anything about you or the way you are. If you were diabetic you would take insulin because you need it to function properly, right? It's the same with serotonin and depression; it can't really make everything worse because that's not how they work and without them you might be continuing to go without the things you sorely need.
(Just anecdotally, I took pills for maybe two years. No they didn't fix everything but they were a supplement to the therapy and the CBT and all the other stuff designed to fix you. The time that everything DID get worse? When I stopped taking them too soon. That was the thing that fucked me up.)
Well, they don't usually make things worse. (in fact, they can't unless you are allergic to them.. otherwise I'm pretty sure they just don't do anything.)
depression for me has been so bad that i have a hard time concentrating. i used to think i was just born with bad memory or something but over the years as my depression gets worse and worse , so does my memory. i can hardly remember anything. when the last time i saw a certain person was. if i locked my car. if i fed my cat. if i took my medication. depression is so awful . i think one major thing i hate most about depression is the fact that no matter what you do the sadness just doesn’t leave. it still stays and you just feel like a zombie. all numb and emotionless. i’ve become a bitter person over the years because of my depression . and it makes my heart hurt knowing that i hurt people and that i’m mean to them sometimes. and when they say “you’re mean” i just say “you don’t understand what i’m going thru” i feel like no one does. i never mean to hurt anyone, i just have a wall built up so high and i get so defensive about anything. i miss the old me and i’d do anything to get her back. she was so happy and full of life. never knew growing up and adulting would be such a sad time of my life
I watched this a few times when it was first uploaded, and I thought I got it - I have depression, I related to what you say about your brain feeling so heavy - but then when I was doing my gcses one evening i just felt so so insanely hopeless, and I lay on my bed with my feet dangling out the window and feeling the cold air and I Got it. That bit where dodie says “it’s so so bad” and kind of falls back a bit. I had never fully connected with that feeling until then. And it is, so, so bad - so horrifically hopeless and painful and heavy. I’ve now done my gcses, my a levels, am on a gap year now and will be going to university in September. I’m still depressed, I still have anxiety, I still need to go back to therapy, but right now I’m in New Zealand, travelling alone. My fifteen year old self, sat on that bed feeling so utterly alone and helpless, she did well and she wouldn’t believe that I’d survive the week, let alone four years - four years with some happiness too. And now I’m out as gay to my parents and brother and I’m on prozac, and it’s not perfect but it’s better.
Try to talk to someone, it’s a cliche because it’s true: it can get better
That’s what I feel. Depression meds, too scared since the last time I tried to commit suicide. Psychiatric dog, so much waiting and training and preparing that I’m trying to do. God I feel you Dodie, I feel you so hard.
The worst days are when you're emotionally depressed and chemically depressed. Like when your brain is messed up, and you have a lot on your plate, so you just hate everything, and you're unsatisfied by everything, and you just want to die. 😐 Thanks life.
The chemical depression always outweighs the emotional depression for me... and I hate it... I wish I could just feel emotion like normal people and not have the evil parasite in the background.
No one feels pain the same as someone else does, but I always come back to this video when I feel low and alone with my thoughts because you kinda just put it all into words. I can empathize with what you're saying and it makes me feel less alone. Everyone has different experiences and feelings but it's nice to find a community where mental illness is talked about realistically and not romanticised. I've loved Dodie for so many years now, she's really quite lovely. I hope anyone watching this knows that things do get better despite how clique it sounds, and that they also find comfort in community. ❤
YouTube recommended this to me like... 2 years later. Right at the end of a huge depressive episode after talking about my worst episode to a room full of mental specialists. Thought I was ready to talk about it, clearly wasn't the case and I spent about 5 weeks stuck in this exact headspace. It felt like treading through heavy waters.
It's been two years since I've had such a low episode for such a long time (although not as low as I had gotten back then) and it is so difficult to see the light at the end when everyday feels exactly the same. I'm out of that period again, and I'm on antidepressants that are actually helping me this time.
I know that these episodes are normal though, I just hate how long they can be from time to time.
Kit Kat13 fucking yes. My "hormones" have been bugging me since I was like 7.(technically still hormones but referring to how a parent means((usually meaning puberty) I'm 19 now. pretty sure it's not hormones. I feel like depression evolves with age as well from what I've noticed.
Do you all even know what hormones are? Biology 101 Depression is caused by hormones But hormones aren't only the things that make you horny or emotional as a teenager Hormones control many things, even your metabolism, your feelings, your growth... etc Depression has to do a hell of a lot with a disbalance of hormones Does that make it less important or awful to experience? NO It's a serious illness, it's important to seek help, and it's important to be emphatic about it I gave you the biology 101 point of view, just to correct you in all kindness. I can't know how you all feel, everyone is different, everyone experiences things in many ways, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you get better, even if it's just a bit each day. I love you. You all matter and I believe in you <3
yes I'm sure they know depression is hormones but i think they're referring to puberty hormones which parents or adults are always saying is the case of our "bad mood"..... hormones more like HORRORmones
But they are hormones! If you stop believing that depression is caused by enzymes released by our body, then you have no right to acknowledge it as a disease!
preach, sick of everyone thinking that I just want to skip school and class because everyone has bad days but for its pretty much everyday and hormones just don't make you feel that kind of way someone finally said it ! Kit Kat13 preach btw love your profile picture
Yes. I still haven't told my mum how I feel so she just tells me it's PMS. And yes it get worse during that time but that isn't why i'm feeling like that
This just popped up in my recommended and I’m glad. If you ever read this comment I want you to know that your video made me feel less alone about my feelings. Thank you
Yes! Yes! Yes! I've never called myself depressed (because any amount of emotion I used to think was weak) but this explains me. I just wake up and I'm not there. It's just blank and it doesn't feel temporary it feels forever.
Dodie as someone who also suffers from depression thank you for speaking up. The way you describe it is so perfect I am hoping more people are starting to understand the seriousness of depression and what it is like to have so I have huge respect for you for that. I refused medication for a long time and only saw myself getting worse, but have now been prescribed Sertraline and after about a month most of the side effects went. Their is no shame in medication, talk to your GP they're there to make you feel better after all.
I remember feeling something like this in high school. I was a teaching assistant and I remember looking at the rest of the students (from the corner of the room at my desk) and thinking that they looked so strange and fake, like they were robots. It would mainly happen when I was off the anxiety medication I was taking at the time, I would just see people from a very zoomed out perspective I guess? Like I was someone from another planet or something. It hasn't happened rarely now! Hopefully you can train your brain over time to get rid of these symptoms.
You've literally just described my exact state of mind I've been experiencing for the last 4 or 5 days. I woke up one day and I was just down. I don't know why. I could not tell you what triggered it. But I feel like I'm under water, and everything is dark, and nothing makes me feel anything - other than the anxiety, which is constant and won't leave me alone. It's more than just a "blah" feeling; it's like I'm empty and heavy at the same time. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to talk. I just want to sleep and pretend nothing exists.
Damn... That sounds awful! Personally I've never really understood depression, because I've always been a happy dude! Very rarely have days where I feel completely off! That's obviously a good thing! I could never imagine what it'd feel like, feeling like shit from the moment you wake up... Even on a day like today, I'm super ill struggling to sleep right now, but still happy! After watching your several videos on this sort of stuff, it has really opened my eyes to it! It sounds like a terrible thing to go through... And I just hope you can come out the better end of this and have those feelings you once had, and be able to enjoy life at every passing moment! <3
doddlevloggle Awww that's too kind Dodie! <3 See people like you don't deserve to feel down at all, as you are just a sweetheart! Hope all gets better for you, and have an amazing tour dude! Wish I could be there and meet you but oh well! Maybe next time! :D
Reece Maskrey Me too! ive never been depressed and my body can function on 5 hours of sleep ans still be awake by the end of the day with NO CAFEENE! just cause im happy :)
To all the folk that have said they feel the same as me, awesome! :D Keep being positive and I'm happy you're all well! To the folk that said they don't understand how I feel, I'm sorry to hear that, and I hope things become clear for you in the future and you find a solution to what's going on! :)
Reece Maskrey I like your mind set. Because you don't have something it's much better to empathise, rather then separate yourself, ignore it or choose not to believe it. So props to you. This is how we should see each other's problems 😄
Esmerelda Gonzales Exactly pal, every little helps! If I could say something that gives people that uplifting feeling and helps them out then so be it. I don't know the extent of how they feel but I'd like to help as much as possible! :)
How're you able to be depressed and still film your video's, express your sense of humor, and edit your videos, all the while getting your point across? Depression robs of my creativity and motivation leaving me with an empty feeling and at a complete loss for words.
Samuel Mott depression makes me feel the same. But sometimes I get angry because of my illness and start writing, somehow that helps me. Maybe making videos it's her escape
Silentype Student Producer you know depression, it comes and goes... at the end i guess you learn to live with it and what to do to take care of yourself.
Silentype Student Producer you just learn to accept it and hide it, im depressed and is diagnosed with severe depression but I still go to school normally.
Well yikes, that is pretty much my natural state. I can relate to this video on a spiritual level but it's all the time. It's not a bad day every once and a while. It's all the time.
fas513 First step, look out for therapy. If you already did, look out for people on the internet or irl (would be better) so you can share your feelings asap. No matter how much u hate people or whatever, try your best to text them once a day or if you have a good day, go outside together. It will be okay. This will not cure your problems but it will help a lot if continued regularly.
what really hit home for me was when she said 'oh its so bad. I'm so bad.' Depression makes you devalue your self worth and when thing are better you need to acknowledge that you are worth it. To anyone reading this know that once you get through this, and you will get through this, it will be less bad and you will realize that you're not so bad. Yes it sucks now, but it will pass, and when it does you will be so glad it did.
I can't believe that you found the words to describe the state, I struggle so much each time I try and can't always find the right words, but this is very cool to hear since it makes me feel a bit comprehended whenever I'm in those funks as well. Hope you're better now 3 years later c:>
I really felt this. I've only started to go to a therapist recently but I completely agree with how you're feeling. Just nothing is worth doing and you just feel like a heavy blob of bleh. I know this video was made 3 years ago as of writing this, but it just feels so true...
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S R2019-07-21 14:36:48 (edited 2019-07-21 14:37:08 )
Hey to all those depressed teen / kid I want to tell u that it’s gonna be ok and go to therapy it’s really help and even if your feeling lost and sad just know that it will be over soon and remember your beautiful and strong and talented an of someone said your not so he doesn’t know what he’s talking about 😌and take care of yourself
I'd just like to say that i admire how strong you are for even putting this video together on an off day like that. When i get to that point, i don't have the strength to do anything even if i think it would help me. I don't know how you felt or how you summoned up the energy and courage to put this video together for your viewers but thank you so much for sharing this and helping others to know that they're not alone. You are more than amazing and you definitely saved at least one person. So thank you again
The waiting thing is very relatable. I've been waiting 6 months for NHS counselling now. They literally gave me the suicide prevention helpline and were like "hang in there for a bit longer. It'll be around 6 weeks" 6 months later and many phone calls asking if they're forgotten me and I'm still waiting. ☹️
You spoke my mind today. Almost literally. I’ve been taking an snri for serveral years; works generally well except for off days like today. How are you now? I know this is an old post so I hope are better.
I may or may not have faffed around in Logic for 10 minutes for exactly that haha I know it's many months ago, but happy to share the audio if you reply ;)
Every word you said I have thought of and said, I deal with derealization depersonalization daily and depression and anxiety oh god thankyou for making me feel not alone. I literally said everything you had said in this and felt everything ughhht thankyou
Your voice and the things you say and sing are the ultimate comfort to me. The only reason I have YouTube premium is so that I can listen to you while I'm doing literally everything
It makes me so sad to think that everything you do you feel spaced out doing it, and that when I saw you in concert I feel bad that it's like you never got the full experience. I've had a few bad days before when I've been super spaced out and I know how it feels so shit. I just wish that I could help you 😢 💕 We love you, and if there's anything that your 'fandom' can do to help, I know we'll all pull through. Love 💚
Hey man, thank you for this. Really well said. The point about "my working brain and my non-working brain are so different, and they have no empathy for each other," was just brilliant. I never considered it a thing of empathy, but it really is. I can't /feel/ for the other side of me when I'm in one end. And the point about "stop checking" was also really new to me. Just a really relatable and awesome video, thank you. <3
Had a more depressive day today than usual, and this made me feel a better. This is a good explanation, thank you. Today feels like a grey space, or a veil is over my head, so I’m seeing everything through that grey veil.
Or like when you need glasses, and finally get glasses, you realize what you’re missing, like how detailed things like trees are.
That’s depression and for me medication is the glasses. I forgot to refill my prescription for over a month so the depression has kicked back in but hopefully I’ll be back to my goofy self soon.
When you said "Im sorry, Im depressed", I felt that really hard compared to the rest of the things that you said because while Im sure I don't necessarily have depression(that feeling more certain after your explanation of how it makes you feel), I find myself apologizing for when my stresses reach a verbal or visually physical level, and Im the type of person to laugh at my problems and not take them seriously. Someone said I shouldn't apologize for me not being my best, and you saying that triggered that memory. I was starting to forget that memory so thanks, you helped me remember something important 👍💖💜💙
i really admire people who can articulate their feeling and emotions because ive never been able to even understand myself let alone explain it to others
I always just listen to the Beatles(60s Beatles) when I'm feeling depressed Are usually just makes my body feel better I guess And my brain go white It's better to feel like that then feel nothing and have a blank mind
Omg it sounds super emo but when I am having a bad day/week/month I will just listen to my chemical romance over and over. They are like my comfort blanket because when I was 12 and felt so alone they understood how I felt ;-; so now I jsut get joy from hearing their music.
this video is so nostalgic for me (not bad or good, just oddly familiar) I was in a place like this roughly two years ago. it was mostly the "nothing makes me feel good, there's nothing I want to do, nothing is working" and crying when I would get home. I remember exactly how it felt, but I don't feel it nearly as often. Back then I was convinced antidepressants would make me feel "fake emotions" like I was meant to be depressed or something. old me was a silly pal. I'm doing loads better than I was then, but there were still good times. it was so rocky, very back and forth between feeling and the lack of it. in a way I feel like that time made me who I am, but if I had to go back I wouldn't ever want to go through that again.
On August 2018, I got depressed for the first time in my life and still going on up until now (it gets better). I used to be a happy and a very positive and mindful person and i never once doubt myself.
I've been searching for explanations of what i was going through but none of them fit my category. I still wouldn't be able to describe my depression..
Until you start telling how depression feels like, i never been more relieved in my life that i started tearing up. I think this the closest description to my depression
I don’t know how many times I’ve watched this. it just justifies depression is different for everyone, we all have different experiences and in different intensities. Some days we don’t want to get out of bed when others we can do everyday things and paint on an exhausting social face. Romanticisation of mental illness is a killer and makes those suffering feel worse, this video is an example of how even though sometimes people don’t look like it they could be suffering alone. We need to be upfront no matter how hard it can be.
I relate to this video so much i'm watching it all the time
then i realize that sucks because being depressed kills every little piece of joy in my life. I have so much envy of people who don't suffer from a mental ilness
so the lyrics inspired me a bit and i recorded myself singing this, and i thought i'd share it (i hope it's okay) here a link (there is 2 versions because well i'm not sure why but whatever the shortest is a bit better i think) https://soundcloud.com/user-86244028
UGH, girl, I'm in the exact same goddamn boat. Miserable. I'm comforted to know that many miles away someone understands my situation that I look up to so much. It's just a process. A process is neither good nor bad. It just is. This just is. And until we can fix it, we fight back. I believe in you. ❤️
well its nice that you can look up to her. i however can not look up to someone like this and it does not help to know someone miles away is in the same situation. i mean i may as well tell myself everytime i feel sad at least i am not a straving child in affrica or at least i am not dead for all the good knowing someone i do not even know and cant even speak too is feeling the same way i am.
thewewguy8t88 I think you're missing why it comforted me. It doesn't comfort me to think at least I'm not doing worse like children starving in Africa. It's important to reflect on that, but it's not comforting when you're already driving on a highway wondering how much it would actually hurt to slam into the wall beside you and feel finally peaceful, you know? This helped me because I've been waking up for months feeling all of her feelings, yesterday especially. And while I don't have depersonalization, I've had a hard time grasping reality because of these chemical things I can't control. A doctor told me recently I may need psychiatric treatment for bipolar disorder, and I don't have any means of seeking the treatment I actually need because of money. Even paying $30 for that visit is stressful. I felt comforted watching this because Dodie has been seeking treatment for herself for months, being told they don't know how to help her yet, and is still trying. That's why I look up to her. It's sometimes quite literally debilitating to feel this way, but her being so transparent about it helps me remember that I'm not crazy, just a little unbalanced. Removing stigma is something to look up to, I think.
well like i said it does not help me at all. i myself need support from someone i can relate too right now maybe thats selfish and wrong of me to say and makes me nothing but a selfish spoiled whinny brat who is throwing a temmper trantuim to say exactly what i want but i want support from someone i can realte too. thing about this video and most youtubers who make videos like this is they only give me half of what i want and half is not enough for me. and no one ever tires to give me fully what i need. and like i said the response is grow up and get over it you are not depressed you are just a tolder or baby throwing a temper traintrum. i am sick and tired of it. i am sick and tired of no one giving me support and just telling me ignore things or get over it or disstract yourself from feeling this way and never ever just supporting me telling me yes i feel the same way you do and its okay i get it and understand lets try to figure this out this out together.
thewewguy8t88 That's understandable! There's a lot to watch on here, many stories and many ideas that hopefully converge more with yours and can help you feel more related to. I understand you completely actually! I'm 21, and it wasn't until I was about 18 that I had a good relationship with my family and could talk about these thing without being called dramatic, annoying, a liar, a bitch, the list goes on. And I remember feeling all of these awful things like this as a very young girl. I'm lucky to have had that change in my life where I feel valid and not crazy talking about my mental health, perhaps yours isn't quite here yet, you know? Even if we're in different places and mind sets, don't be afraid to reach out every once in a while. I've been told I'm a good support system. Sending lots of well wishes your way. :)
thank you your comment helps me feel a bit better. but you are lucky to me you are right i am honestly happy for you to be able to feel better. i cant right now truth is i can but not stably like ironically i can be happy with my friends when i see them or talk to them sometimes because they kind of wont let me. and i dont want to be that way in front of them. i want to be postitive and happy in front of them and while i am with them. but when i am alone i have no real reason to be poistive or happy unless i am watching videos that do make me happy or playing video games but those last only so long before i get tired of those things and then where am i. i mean also slightly the same for music too(the typical thing that makes everyone happy when they are upset) to me its a disstraction not a means to stop feeling upset when i am upset and lonely i want and need support from other human beings i know that sounds different from most people and again i get an impression its a wrong way of feeling and typical advice i would get is i need profesional help. or i need to stay off the intnernet and disstract myself and yeah disstracting myself lasts only so long so it feels like professional help is the only thing that can work for me apparently to most people instead of i dont know like i said actually trying to be supportive and understanding like i can see you are doing right now :)
thewewguy8t88 There's no wrong way to feel about any of it. You kind of remind me of my friend, he's a recovering alcohol and pill addict (that's not the part that reminds me of you, lol) and he feels good when he's busy, when he's with friends, and then he gets alone and the demons crawl back out. He's so strong and hasn't slipped back in two years total sobriety, but he struggles. He's been doing really well lately though, sticking to self reflection, thinking about his life a little less personally and trying to find things and hobbies that do distract him. He teaches me so much every day about recognizing my own faults and my own struggles but not letting myself stop living for letting happiness in because of them. I think distractions are amazing, only if you're able to find some kind of independent, genuine enjoyment from them. I use videos and music for that too. :) Just remember that even if everything is not ideal, you have love in your life. That's pretty dang cool.
yeah thanks thats good to know actually about your friend i am happy to hear he is doing well and it makes me feel a tiny bit better to know someone else is expericing something like what i am exepriecing. like i said i feel like most people simpfly things to find an outlet for yourself and you will automatically be happy which i do not think its that simple since sometimes someone just does not have an outlet. like you said you have to find independent genunine enjoyment from something and i do and i can but truth is sometimes it only lasts for so long and even worse sometimes if i am not doing something i know can make me happy i get sad and upset and again people just tell me i am being a whiny baby. like i said rarely do people actually try to talk to me to understand why i am upset most people just tell me to stop being upset.
thewewguy8t88 That feels to me like people in your life probably don't have anything like depression, anxiety, etc to deal with themselves, at least not without tangible environmental cause, you know? My parents were very similar, my mom has never dealt with anything like this to this day, but my dad slipped a disk while he was unemployed and on top of feeling just kinda worthless and down in the dumps being out of work and hurt, his medications brought on a sort of induced depression and now he can understand me a little more. You're not whining, don't let anyone make you believe that. I think it's important you keep reaching out even if you get backlash, people minimize what they can't fully understand. It's not fair, but at least it puts some meaning to the madness.
yeah thank you your words honestly feel more vaidating to me then anything this girl puts in her videos. like despesiate the fact that she is a person talking to a camera honestly that is all this person feels like a person talking to a camera and its hard for me to relate to someone like that since while i am sure its not intentenal talking to a camera feels scriped like its not real where as you what you are typing feels and sounds real and guneune and like i said that means more then any words someone can say to a camera can. i wont lie i may have a simular issue where i cant fully understand why and how people can get commfort from a vlog but i am getting a bit more of context as to who this person is and why she may mean a lot to so many people. for me i cant get comfrot from people like her because of several personal reasons not because of her but because of my own personal experiences with people like her. people like her upset me to be honest and its because people like her do not try to show they are different and everyone expects me to to understand and have different expectiations when dealing with people like her. i expect/expected people like her when they say and act like they can relate to me to be like me and to want to interact with people who say they can relate to them but again i got told i was wrong for expecting that. and i understand why but that just causes more issues for me.
thewewguy8t88 That makes sense! There's lots of people on YouTube who have an insane amount of followers and people relating to them that I frankly can't begin to like or relate to. To no fault of their own, I just don't click with them, and maybe that's Dodie for you. I personally relate to her a lot, we're the same age, have similar likes and interest, senses of humor, and so on. I really enjoy hearing her thoughts and her content overall, but it's not as though everyone as to. She's not in the wrong for you not liking or relating to her, just as much as you're not in the wrong for feeling that way in the first place. You could be the most perfect delicious flawless peach in the entire world, and there will still be someone who just simply doesn't like peaches. There's to many of us for everyone to like and relate to everyone, haha. I live my life with neutral expectations for people, I don't expect anyone to understand me or enjoy me as much as I don't expect them to misunderstand me or dislike me. Makes life less complicated.
yeah for me i do not have neutral expectations which i was i did but i cant for me its all or nothing kind of thing. do not get me wrong there are people i enjoy following but they post content that is different and not as personal and is about topics i like and enjoy hearing people talk about. like its complicated for me people who talk more about their personal life as a topic more then anything seem empty to me and make me kind of sad because like i said i feel like if i was to do the same thing i would get told to kill myself because i was so bad. but i mean for i also can understand she built up a fan base before she was comfortable posting videos so it makes sense.
I get you fam, Waiting sucks ass. I’ve had to wait to get my thyroid tested too just to convince my mom I might need to go to a therapist then I had to wait to see them, now I’m waiting for one of those dna test things to come back and see what I’m predisposed to genetically and wait til I’m 18 and in college to get help ughhhh
It's so great seeing a person u admire feel the feelings u do and show this side of themselves, but then u remember "Oh shit, it's not a fun feeling. I'm sorry it sucks." awkward shoulder pat
I used to watch this and feel the same way, had a lot of off days. Today for the first time I watched the video and didn't relate. I feel something like hope today. So in case you are wondering if you will get out of this pit of depression and despair - yes. there is hope.
I got so excited at the though of watching a specific show, and like halfway through I was like " I don't like this anymore" then I was like let me watch this other show that I really really really like but then I was like "ugh" I fell asleep and woke up and like my whole body was fucking HEAVY and I have like a cold yea but it's not a cold kind of sickness and then I cried and now I'm online so yea plus my apartment is dirty and I hate it and I'm like ok I gotta clean but now it's like really hard to get up so 🤷
If only I had seen this sooner I would've known I wasn't so alone in what I was feeling.. Everything, i mean literally everything you're saying is exactly how I felt for years before I started my medication (been on them for about a year now)! Like the part where you happy and convinced that everything is super, but then when you're sad you just wanna say 'fuck you' to your happy self for being in denial. Hope things are better for you now though, all my love to you Dodie!<3
It’s funny, cause Depression comes in so many different forms but yet everyone who talks about it can relate to the other people who describe it even tho they might all be going through different situations, it’s good to share these things with us, it helps to know you’re not alone
Joy Turina2018-03-14 14:57:56 (edited 2019-02-16 17:53:20 )
I want to cry really bad but i just cant lol Update: I learned how to correctly deal with my emotions and crying is like a routine to me now, talking about it is easier too Sending good energy to all of you!
I’ve gotten to that point lol crying used to feel like a release. Almost like when you have the stomach flu and want to puke cause you know you’ll instantly feel better. Crying used to do that for me feeling like this and now I don’t even have the energy to cry lol cause I know it won’t help. Or relieve anything. Which sucks. So now I have no release.
I know this video is old, but it is so relatable I had to comment. Thank you for being so open. Oh lord I have more blood work and other testing. I feel like a lab rat.
I have exactly the same thing Doddlevloggle, when I look at things in the distance I don't even recognise where I am and everything looks almost like a painting. It's very surreal. This all happened for me after a migraine aura. In fact, you can have chronic silent migraines without any head pain and get all these weird symptoms. It might be something to consider or mention to your doctor. I was diagnosed with migraine variant balance disorder aka vestibular migraine and a lot of people have exactly these symptoms. It could be that this is actually going on with you too, and yes, you can have a silent migraine aura without head pain for years!
I'm not sure if I'm depressed today. I just feel really bad so I don't go to work. But your voice is so beautiful, it makes me feel a tinge better. Thank you dodie, gonna share this to my depressed friends.
This reminds me of that one time when I was so depressed I wanted to die ( die , not kill myself... there is a difference 😗 ) and that feeling actually stayed for almost a week but after I stopped being depressed I couldn't believe that I actually wanted to die , like it didn't sound real that I felt that way , like I'm an optimistic person so it really shocked me , though I still have these days where I do get depressed for literally no reason ( mayhaps my period and hormones have a part to do with it 🙃 ) but that time I think it was the worst
Just one little thing about the medications. The sheet probably says it, but if it doesn't I want you to know. They're not an immediate fix, but at the right dose for a few weeks and slowly but surely you'll start to see improvements. I hope for you that you can find something soon that can help you feel a little bit less depressed on those depressed days. 💛💚💜
+++ came here to say this :) they're not "happy pills" and they do have side effects, but if just therapy isn't helping, a combination of the two might!
alittlemoreme sertraline destroyed me...and one of my friends more recently... i took it for 4 weeks last january ('16) and i didnt sleep, couldnt eat, was having panic attacks, vomiting and was just a big mess...way worse than without the meds. my friend had similar symptoms this year and recently tried to commit suicide by overdosing on them because she felf so shit on them. ssris are some intense drugs that can help...but can also ruin your life. be careful with meds. they can make things way worse.
hanzib31 did you talk to your doctor about this? With psyc meds it's really important to find the right type/dose and to see if you actually need them at all. Everyone reacts differently. The point of taking them is not to "cure" you from depression, your body very often does that by itself. The point is to make the process more bearable (or in extreme cases to stop the patient from doing anything that can't be undone). You should absolutely not have to stick through it and keep eating them, if they are making your depression worse :(
Sara yes i did. i took them for a few weeks as the dr said the side effects would most likely calm down...when they didnt, i stopped. he tried me on a few others but they did nothing...like i literally couldnt even tell id taken anything.
im aware of how theyre meant to work. ive studyed ssris and depression quite deeply in multiple courses Ive done via uni and via personal research. i know they work for some and not for others.
i just always feel the need to.let people know that they dont always help ...sometimes they make things worse. and people need to be careful with them. i know they arent a cure. and i was never expecting them to be...but i definitely wasnt expecting my whole body to totally reject them so much. it was scary. 😣
alittlemoreme i took mine for.. like 9 or 10 months. I felt no difference whatsoever. sometimes they even made me feel more anxious (i was taking them for social anxiety and depression).
Marie Diamandis yeah...citalopram was nasty for me too... im on fluoxetine now. which seems like its not too bad. ive only been on it for 2 weeks and it hasnt given me any crazy side effects.
This is the best explanation of depression EVER. It obviously feels different for everyone but to me this is just soo relatable and I feel like this is super easy for people without depression to understand and get an idea of what it feels like
i hope your okay dodie, look your always a good youtuber, you should just try to take some time off maybe?? that could be a great excuse because you might be stressed off out of being famous on youtube for uploading most of the time?? you should just try your best to be whoever you are, because your not the only one. i love you dodie, this is my message to you from eliot.
Stay strong, I’ve been in your position before it will get better I promise, stay strong stay happy, it will be a painful transition I promise you it will get better we all do
When she said, “ hey you’re feeling better, you’re going to feel better again, it’s a lie and I’m lying to myself and this is how I naturally feel” I felt that
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An Open Book2019-01-25 18:26:10 (edited 2019-01-25 18:39:16 )
I just thought that I was and am incredibly lazy. And that I’d have days that I’m just stupidly lazy and not want to do anything including eating, drinking, hygiene etc. but then I watched this video. And the more words came out of her mouth the more my eyes started to well up. Thank you for this. For posting this. This has helped me a great deal Edit: especially the bit about getting depressed in a social situation. And glazed eyes and just giving nothing.
meditation is the key to deppresion and also having goals in life and a purpose......i know how it feels to be depressed,tried it for years. for anyone struggling from deppression take my word for it please do the 2 things above.
I first heard your voice from this amazing sample of a song, "Blur.JPG" by Danke https://soundcloud.com/iamdanke/blur I cry almost everytime listening to it
I've watched this video like 3 times in the past 24 hours. You are just so eloquent and refreshingly candid and honest while talking about depression. I really appreciate you sharing so much of yourself and your emotions (or lack thereof) with us, the internet™. It helps me feel real and not like a bad human. Thanks, Dodie!
I know I just commented but as I keep watching the video it actually scares me how everything you’re describing is everything I went through. Especially the feeling “blind” part, it’s like everything is foggy and you literally can’t see. And before this depression I had over the summer I never really understood what depression was, I thought it was just kinda being sad but it’s SO much more than that. I had my thyroid tested and everything else too but everything came back normal. Depression is so insane, after experiencing it I just want to hold everyone else in the world that is dealing with it
I love you so much...I wish I could make videos about all of this stuff like you do but, Im terrified that it wont come out right. Like, I'll say the wrong thing or my anxiety will flare up and I'll start getting visibly nervous on screen and people will think Im a fucking weirdo or something. :(
come here a lot when im feeling stuck. helps a lot to hear someone else. and yes waiting waiting waiting, its been 14 months of trying to get treatment and im still getting sent away and referred and everything is a whirlpool
I feel like I'm talking to my friend on Skype and she's telling me a story and you don't reply to anything and they just carry on without ur approval and it's the best thing EVEr
please open your video to be subtitled, I'm a translator and I would love my friends to know you and to learn more about depression, and you always make good and real videos about it
we all love and are here for you dodie! you're beautiful kind and brave plus where would we be without dodie yellow! have a wonderful day I hope you're feeling better soon xxx
I get this so hard, 1 million percent. I've watched this video a few times. the last time was months ago when I thought everything was absolutely horrible and nothing felt right at all. Now everything is worse and it has been getting worse, now I finally get this video so hard and I understand the constant negative and the slapping yourself with the 'WHY WONT IT STOP!' it sucks. I just want it to stop. Fuck.
You know, I watched this years ago before I started having real mental health issues and didn't get it. I come back now while going THRU it with depression and anxiety and having to see a therapist. I get it now.
"I've got a secret for the mad in a little bit of time it won't hurt so bad"
Thank you so much for writing that song! I think I would have gone insane without it. I've had chronic fatigue syndrome for a bit over a year now and on my worst days, everything seems completely meaningless and hopeless. You and your songs help me through it by reminding me that it's when I'm healthy and happy I see the world clearly and my bad days will pass. Good luck with medication and therapy!
i’m not sure if i’ve commented here before but i keep going back to this video when i feel down. i don’t say depressed bc i’m not completely sure i even am and i don’t want to assume when lots of people have it worse than me.
but i recently made an internet friend and she vents to me about things and i’m fine with it bc she doesn’t rly have anyone to talk to abt this so i take the role. anyway these past two weeks has been shit, actually this whole quarantine is shit but these past few weeks were shittier than usual for multiple reasons. and she’s venting to me as usual & i wanna vent too but idk,, it just feels weird. i wanna be there for her y’know and i don’t wanna make her feel even more sad so i just let her talk.
i don’t wanna be a burden. i just kinda feel lost and numb and everything feels the same and i just keep doing the same things everyday and i’m fucking tired of all of it.
I thank you for being able to put those particular feelings into words because i find that so difficult to do. Mental illness fucking sucks and i feel your pain Dodie.
I really can relate with the part when you say "you know objectively". Because that's what happened to me, too. I study psychology in college. I have a fairly good understanding about myself. I'm very familiar with different types of mental illnesses since I learn thoroughly about them in class. And I also understand about self-care, self-acceptance, and yada yada yada all those things.
So it's very frustrating when at times, I felt so down. I'm more anxious than depressed, but it's still bad lol. And it sucks when you realize what's happening inside your brain and you actually know what's the right thing to do, but you keep falling to same hole over and over again. (Idk, I just rambling lol)
Anyway, for those who are reading, stay strong! :") Please seek help if you feel that you can't deal with it by yourself. It might be shitty today, and I can't guarantee you it won't be shitty tomorrow, but it will get better. Maybe not in the near future, but it will. It will.
jesus i feel this almost every day now. i have the odd hour where i actually feel happy, but then everything gets so bad afterwards, worse than when im usually depressed. i can’t see a doctor about anything because there is no way my parents will react well, so i have to wait until i can get help, which will probably be in a couple of years.
this is me right now, today. I’ve tried to get out cause it’s nice and sunny outside and most of the time that works, but my self esteem is low and my anxiety’s high and i don’t want to have any social interactions with anybody cause I don’t want them too see me. And then my anxiety kicks it’s way into my brain even more and reminds me to worry about things I need to do and it all just feels like one big mess of a cycle. ughhhhhhhhhhhh I should probably see a therapist I know but it’s hard for me to tell people how I feel and how they’ll react. I hugely appreciate you posting this video, it makes me feel less alone rn
To all those who experience symptoms of depression and want help, MEDS WORK! They work for most people. They've made me so much better. So much better. And if they end up not working for you, hey at least you tried and anyways, there are loads of different meds and maybe you'll find one with your doctor that helps you. (: I find people are so scared of medication. But it helps loads (:
ya but some people are afraid that they're gonna have to rely on the pill for the rest of their life to feel better. that's why my mom decided not to take them.
Shen Rushin I don't have personal experience with them but they gave me my brother back when I thought he was past the point of no return. Please, if you're thinking of trying them, do 🙏 Ps, I believe in and love you all, I really do ❤ you matter ❤
They do work, and none of them are the same!!! doeses are different person to person!!!!!!! I finally found the right one for me about 5 months ago and now I dont need it anymore. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE THEM YOUR WHOLE LIFE. Im off of it and I feel great. depression IS cureable!!!
Shen Rushin well i wish i could but my parents think depression is "just feeling sorry for yourself" and that its a fad and that's completely insane but they dont support me getting therapy or meds so im just surviving without them til i move out i suppose which is only in like 3 years but it feels like a life time
I really need them but my brother takes one for like distraction or something else and changes completely he is so serious and cold. I am afraid that it will change me, and my mother thinks that I am depressed but not that serious but I know it and I don't have money to a therapist anymore Oh god
Ren CC if you can get meds you should at least try them, i have tons of friends they help but i know one who had to switch between a few kinds because they changed him but he finally found a kind that works and they help him a lot
@Ren CC oh no! I'm sorry for your brother and I understand why you'd feel that way! Maybe you could talk with your personal doctor about side effects of antidepressants. Prozac (my understanding of it is) that it's a really low-risk kind of medication that is given to most people. You might want to look into that? Being not depressed is wonderful, I personally will put up with the possibility of side effects. And good luck with your life (:
Shen Rushin oh my god this is kinda unrelated but this comment reminded me to take my antidepressants tonight thank you so much for commenting this I would have forgotten otherwise
but meds dont cure it. you become dependent on them & the side affects could very well kick in & make you aggressive. I recommend self recovery & a therapist & keeping a journal but that's my opinion
Shen Rushin thing is, not all medications work for people. Most doctors just throw random chemicals together and call it a antidepressant, just like from Dave from boyinaband his medication works, but not as well as he wants it to, he's tried medication but it didn't work. As well with me, I've tried 10 different medications and the rest I can't take, so medications don't always work for people, so people rely on just the stuff that may help them and people to cheer them up, etc. sorry if i rambled on this is my opinion and a lot other people's view of depression and medications
Shen Rushin thanks!! I really need to make my mom understand that skipping school from sadness and weakness is not normal. I hope I get it through her head
@Tammy Dawson self therapy and therapists are great. I have a therapist and a journal and all that jazz. It's more a personal thing than anything, I just feel like I can only cheer my self up to a 75 percent and the meds improve my life all the way up to a 95 percent. But honestly, if people can get by with therapy, and journals, and self care, that's amazing
@JoBeth Rose i feel you. Only way I've been able to afford help is because of the decent healthcare I have in California. Money is such an issue for so many people and I wish it wasn't :( maybe you have a support counselor at your school? Youd have someone who knows about this stuff to talk to. You'd pay nothing and I've found that they're actually alright to talk to. (: good luck
Shen Rushin they worked for me too! now I am almost one year on meds and I'll soon start decreasing the amount so that's me getting better! everything is way better than it used to be.
it's so true, it's not a magic cure but with things like therapy and self care they can really help. It can take time to find the right one(s) and the right dosages but it's worth the trial and error. Also, on a good day you can look up some common ones and get an idea of what you're looking at in terms of timeframe and side-effects so you can make an informed decision, even if you are talking with the doctor on a super shitty day and honestly don't care in the moment.
Shen Rushin Meds haven't worked for me thus far but I'm glad they have worked for so many of you! I've tried 20+ different medications in different combinations while also doing CBT/DBT therapy.
When you eat snap peas (if that’s what they’re called) like the ones dodie are eating do you eat just the peas inside or can you eat the whole thing? Thanks lol
Hey Dodie, I love watching your videos about depression/mental heath cuz hearing you talk about how you deal with it and what helps makes me feel like I'm not alone and that everyone feels sad and lonely sometimes. So honestly, just thank you!
My mother always say "At the end of the day, no one can help you. Just choose happiness" She says that so easily but i feel so stuck... If there is a way to "choose happiness" then i would've done it right? Till this day, my mother still refuses to bring me to therapists cause she think its a waste of money and time...
I'm like you, over-feeling every little things, and I'm so happy I am cause I can get so freaking happy. I'm an eternal optimistic, and even with depersonalization and derealization, I kept this spirit. My therapist was like "You could go depressed", my friends were like "Could you become depressed" and I was like "No way. I'm way too much aware of all the amazing things in life, I could never get depressed". Well guess what you lovely sunny me ? It's been a week, and it's becoming harder and harder to remember how to be happy. Nothing makes you smile, nothing make you motivate. You have this really important exam tomorrow, and you just can't focus on studying, because everything is blurry, fuzzy, everything seems worthless and dreamy. And you're supposed to know 24 analysis by heart, and right now you can't even remember what I ate yesterday. Took you five minutes, but now you know: you ate mushroom, pepper and something else. Yep lovely sunny me, I love you but you where wrong. I know I will be okay, I know it. I know I can still have ten minutes where I'm suddenly alright, smiling and laughing. But right now, even writing this comments is costing me, and looking at you Dodie, just felt so relatable. I think I can pull myself back, and try to avoid to fall this deep, I think I can make it, I just have to seek for help right now and get back on my feet. But thank you so much, because seeing you talk about it felt so right, so heartwarming, and make me feel so less alone. Thank you
faszinating how talkative and entertaining and active you are, when you're depressed. I am not. I am then just a piece of flesh with fatty hair, stinky clothes, pimples, almost no mimic and talking even less than I usually do as an introvert.
I know this must be so hard, so thank you for pushing through it and sharing with the world. There needs to be so much more awareness and educating done on mental illness. A simple "cheer up" from friends and family is not gonna cut it (however well meant it is). So thanks for being so open and elaborate with the experience.
The worst feeling is when you survived on a sucidal stage, and aftr a year its all coming back, but this time youre stronger and you dont wanna die anymore, so you just watch ur life being wrecked and doing nothing..🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Hi dodie just wanted to say how much I appreciate your videos. I am going through something similar and it is horrible. What strikes me looking at Utube is how we are all creative intelligent people the best kind of people look how creative our brains are to get us to this state! But just wanted to say thanks I look at you and think we could be friends so many people are so boring shouldn't be so judgemental but you may agree?
I don't know why but every time I'm depressed I come back to this video. It's kind of comforting in a weird way. I've watched it so many times I lost count of it but every time it's kind of new and like I never watched it. It's weird. But I love it so much. You helped me so much with just a simple video of you sitting on the floor, eating and ranting about depression. so... Thanks
This... Wow. Um. I've been trying to put stuff into words for quite a while now. I feel a lot of this, quite a lot. I'm tired so often, pretty much every day, and it weighs down on me like my body is a thousand times heavier then normal. And the stuff you said about not feeling things... I get it. I get that too. The good news is that I'm getting counselling and I have a blood test on Monday. The bad news is that there's a 2 month waiting list for counselling.
I don't want to say I have depression. Once, I was feeling really bad and empty and heavy and I muttered to myself "is this what depression feels like?" And my friend heard and said, "no, it's much, much worse." That happened twice. I have a group chat with two friends, and I was feeling so bad and no one was online so I just started sending messages talking about how I was feeling. For an hour. then someone came online and we talked and she was supportive and wonderful, but I didn't hear anything from the other girl. She came online the next day and I asked her to go read the messages. She'd read them. She hasn't said anything.
I miss the days where I was happy most of the time. I miss the days when I didn't have to worry about not enjoying the things I love. I miss them and I don't know if I'll ever get them back.
But I have to believe that there will be a day where I say I'm okay and mean it.
every time I fall back into the dark and scary rabbit hole that my depression is, I come back to this video (mostly unintentionally) and I feel just a little bit less alone. It is kinda calming… I know that might be weird. I’m glad that Dodie decided to share this and decided to keep it online. What always gets me is this; “I just feel this constant longing for something and I’m not getting it. Suddenly nothing is easy, everything seems terrifying and difficult and complex and messy and heavy, like nothing is going to be okay ever again.” Those are the words I struggle and fail to say, the things I can’t express when my mind is just this numb, grey ball of confusion. I hate my depression. Either I feel nothing at all or I feel scared, because of the lack of emotions or my own disinterest in keeping myself functioning. I wrote down all the feelings I felt in the last few days (anxiety, sadness, anger, apathy and despair) and tried to find the reason for why I’m feeling what I feel. Makes it me feel better? No, but it keeps me busy.
I just love the way you talk about this depressed time you expierence. I feel the same way! I feel like I have been drinking :| literally... unreal and not right. Yea.... i must go to sleep now. Bay, peace!
When im depressed i also feel like im dreaming and unmotivated and i feel like reality is gone and im just stuck in a state where i feel dizzy and emotional and i cant get anything done, unfortunately this happens alot and idk how to help it
I'm sorry you're feeling down, but I just want to thank you for sharing this raw moment in your life. I feel everything you've ever felt and it's nice knowing I'm not the only one with these thoughts and feelings.
I feel like it's possible that I have the depersonalization thing, but I'm not really sure. I just really relate to what you're describing, that fear that you're never going to see the world the same and all the feelings and experiences are just going to be filled with nothingness. I could just be disassociating a lot as a side effect from my dysthymia but idk. It's so difficult to speak or express myself when I get like that and I don't want to make people feel like I've given up trying to talk and connect with them
I just, seeing real people with real problems is so helpful. Because I'm sitting in a room, surrounded by a mess, not knowing what's going to happen next. There's just so much that has gone wrong, that can go wrong, and it's terrifying. Last night there was an event, I won't go into detail, but pretty much everyone validated everything I've been feeling entirely inadvertantly, and there's that ache, and I didn't know where to go. So I put on a dress. And I put on your videos. And it feels okay
She seems to do well with sharing and being open with us and others. Sadly I am at the other end and often find talking to be hard and like it won't help anything. I wish I was more open like her tbh.
There are some people I can speak to, but others are like: "you're not depressed, you're just a bit upset", "you don't have anxiety, you're just shy/scared", "you don't have depersonalisation, you just spend too much time on the laptop"...not saying that everyone has to understand, but it just doesn't help.
that's awful of you to say. Maybe she does make money off of it, it doesn't take away from the fact that she's helping others and making others feel like they're not alone. Doctors get paid, but they help people live. Therapist get paid, but they help others get control of their mental illness. Dodie gets paid, because she is a role model and mentor, she brings people joy with her music, kindness, and ability to share painful emotions, to help others.
Therapy might help her be more open since she has discussed all of this with someone else and has a clear understanding of what she is going through and wants to help us know we are not alone.
Making videos help her, just like many other youtubers. Her fandom is really sweet and kind so she can feel ok talking about it, she knows she wont be judged by them and maybe she will be related to. That's how you speak openly about your depression.
Well, personally I feel like if someone's been depressed for so long to be okay with it, to come to terms with it, and to detach yourself from the illness, talking about it actually makes you feel better. For me, talking about it like it's a normal thing that people go through (because it IS; a lot of people go through it) makes it all seem less heavy and a wee bit more hopeful.
I see it as an outlet. I can see making a video as a beautifully cathartic, mind-easing process. Not sure if this was sarcasm or genuine want-to-know curiosity. But that's how I view it.
rory armstrong The reason why some people are scared to talk about it is that culture avoids it. If you grow up with a family that is open about it it's easier.
My problem is that on one of these days, i sort of go into this hyper reactive or angry state with others just so i can cut them off. I really want to be alone but i cant seem to get that and i just end up hurting the people i love.
Ps. Im just a teenager who isn’t taken seriously by anyone in this South Asian household so... any advice?
Im giving s thumbs up...not because I like that you are depressed..but because You have seemed to put words to how I feel for past 5 years or more.
Big hugs and a bag of edamame and a clink of our tea mugs Thank you for putting it all into words because Its been hard for me to explain....and the last time i wrote in a journal..it ended up being for 5 hours straight...and i ended up feeling worse cuz I started thinking of other times... Some people have actually gotten mad at me for bringing up old stuff.. but i cant help it. And i think well why am i apologizing.... obviously it still isnt resolved for me.. even if the other person is fine and has long moved on... and im doing circles around it trying to analize every bad situation....trying to figure out what happened. My usual conclusion...i made a bad decision...with good intentions..it seemed like a good idea at the time.... but unfortunately ..like those choose your own adventure books...i cannot go back to change anything. And I tell myself next time i will know better...
So sweet your mum brought u to water slides to cheer you up... Mine has not been so sweet. Its been more like tellin me to just get over it already...along with many along tge past few years.. which doesnt make me feel better.. but worse.. for not being able to.... or other people telling me.. happy is a choice. But i dont choose to be depressed. So i step back from people...mostly the people who make me feel worse aboit already feeling horrible.
I take my cat sized dog out. He is quiet and sweet and loves me unconditionally. And I think thats what I need... but dont have.
Anyway.. thank you for putting words to how im feeling too. Some days are easier....but getting my little dog out for his walks..also gets me out.. whether i want to or not...but at the end of tge walk .. i feel a bit better...not always.. but He needs to get out...and sometimes when Im upset...he paws at me... or licks my hand. And reminds me it will be ok.....lets go for a walk. Walk it off in an attempt to shake it off.
AD didnt make things better for me ...much worse really. So those are a no go for me.. but hope they work for others. Thyroid thing is there for me and I keep being told..once the levels are good.. you will feel better.
Im impatient... its now been years. And i miss the old me.... shes in there somewhere. So some days are bad but Im not giving up....but i may just allow my self to chill here for a bit... then take me and my little furry friend out for some much needed fresh air.
Thank you Im glas to have found you and your songs and this video. Cheers
Thanks for sharing this experience, Dodie. You have no idea how much these video's by you and people like you had helped me in realizing my experiences with depression are valid and real and incited me to seek therapy. You have a great community supporting you on your journey to better mental health and I am entirely behind you and your choices (medication or not). Speaking from my personal experience though, I've had a bit of luck with medication but only when I used it in combination with regular therapy sessions. Sending love and positive vibes your way.
You actually gave me a new insight! I think I am longing for something, but I do not know what that is! Thanks! P.S. I know this comment may not make much sense, but OK.
I watched this video a while ago and I shared it with a friend who has had depression since she was very young. At the time I was glad to find this because it made me feel like I could understand her better. And I think I did, in a more rational/logical way. Fast forward two years later and I find out I can actually understand how this feels, and gosh, it's hard but knowing it's something that happens to other people (and therefore not feeling crazy and alone) makes it all a bit better.
I can seriously feel the chemical part of my brian malfuctioning some days... which is something i'm sure I didn't undersatnd the first time I watches this. Thabk ypu for sharing.
it depends but honestly she is just explaining how it feels but there are ways to improve it. They are mechanisms that will make you improve.. your mom doesnt know cuz of the stigms that there is. But you can change it with the right brain excercises trust me.
Just took some frozen fruits out of the freezer and putted in a bowl then microwaved it before I watched this video. I love this mug btw, need one piano mug!
looking back at this video, i used to hate saying i felt the same or resonated because it felt as if i was robbing the person who was sharing with me how they felt. now being professionally diagnosed with depression and anxiety, some days when i feel awful have no empathy for myself because even after finally being diagnosed it feels like this weird prank or lie in where i dont really have these things. as if im a fraud and am forcing myself to endure this for the sake of attention or i am offending people who are mentally ill.
i'm not sure if you have depression (i mean how could i be sure lol) but if these feelings persist regularly or get worse make sure to tell someone or look for some sort of, healthy, help because if you ignore constant feelings of depression for too long of a time (that's what i did) it likely will get worse. but you very easily could just be feeling a little down at this point in your life which is perfectly normal! so don't get too worried or anything. i hope you feel better <3
I feel kinda the same thing. Like ' Wow you're just another person. The world changes very slowly. So slow, you might not reco´gnise it. You're not the one who changes the world or discoveres something.' Or I'm just annoyed of how I deal with people or with how I look or how I talk or my decisions. But then I push it all away and focus on homework, friend, family, shool and happy things so yeah. And most of the time I get out of that phase by telling myself 'You're only 15 you can't be depressed already. Stop thinking about it.' and it works.
Lilly Incookieble I have kind of been feeling the same for the past 2 days. So I have a best friend and she has another friend. But she maybe likes that friend more than me and what makes it worse is that I have been "fighting" (not like physically but we always like the same people and she has this weird tone in her voice when I speak to her.) for the past 4 years and she always wins. She is like a better version of me. Yesterday I cried about it for like 15 minutes and then I just went on with the day but I can't stop thinking about this thing. I wrote my best friend a message but she didn't see it yet. It's so complicated and I really want to talk to the girl I've been fighting with and just talk all about this but it would probably be really awk and I'm afraid I'll cry and she'll laugh at me. I am also a very sensible and slow person and whenever they tell me I'm doing something wrong I always cry. It's so fucking awful to smile when inside I'm feeling bad. I tell myself I am ridiculous and over-reacting and a crybaby and then it gets worse. My mind always wonders and it goes from one thought to another really fast. I just feel awful inside not even because I'm doing the thing wrong but because I'm a childish crybaby.
I remember watching this two years ago as a thirteen year old who thought she was going through something really tough. And now I actually am depressed trash
I was diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder (MDD or Clinical Depression) and I totally get what you're going through. I've been taking anti-depressants for the last two years and yeah, they've helped a lot because at the time, I was stuck in a severe depression and was afraid I would never be myself again.
Sometimes I have better days then others, some days I'm happy and positive but other days I'm insecure and hate myself for no good reason. And yes, this is depression. We have our good days and bad days.
I just want anyone to know that if you are suffering from depression/mental illness, you're not alone. I know at times it can be really hard and simple things may seem like the hardest things in the world but you have to keep pushing through it and remind yourself that what you're feeling at the moment isn't permanent. Be strong. It was really hard for me, being 14 at the time but I am now 16 and still going strong.
my depression got easier to live with since i dont fight against any emotion and put myself 1st and dont care bout someone not understanding me why I act the way I act
I've just imagine you recording it, in a quiet place. the depression kicks in when you're too alone or too many person due to in need of attention. i dunno bruh, maybe eat something.. like a DONUT
OMG THAAANKS!! I have severe depression, anxiety and BPD, and watching you coping so well makes me feel hope, I guess I will not kill myself this week, thanks for giving me a reason to wait a lil more days, maybe if I continue, therapy and medication will finaly help, don't know how to express how thankfull am I, can I send you a cute drawing? I don't even know in wich country you are, I don't even speak your language very well, but maybe one day day we met and I can buy you an icecream. Wanna be my new fp? (My BPD folks will relate ajjaja)
I relate to this, more than I kinda expected to? that's how it's like for me, I'm also extremely frustrated at myself. I get what you mean by the "working" and "nonworking" brain having no empathy for each other? it's a funny thing, but also sad. I too hate that it sucks the fun out of things and life is blurry and I feel as if I'm not properly living like I should be. what a waste! thank you for the relatable chat, remember you're not alone in this, similarly to how you make us feel (:
I relate to this video. Sometimes I can just have an absolutely shit day where my head doesn’t want to work and everyone around me is just like ‘cheer up! Don’t wallow in your sadness’ and I’m just like ‘I don’t want to do anything because I won’t get any feelings of it so I’ll just waste the day’ and it sucks when you’re 14 yk :/ oofffff
4:51 I've been depressed today so i tried to take a bath and treat myself with candles, a bath bomb and lavender oil . That's exactly how i felt. Just hot, bored and empty.
When I’m depressed my chest feels heavy and my head feels empty, I can’t laugh or smile, or feel happy, but if there is something to be sad about, it consumes me and all I can do is cry. Usually I just lie and bed and be bored though.
Those episodes can be anxiety or sadness, but don't confuse it with depression. Depression is way much more complex than feeling sadness for a moment. It's sucking up all the colour of life and leaving you empty. It's not like "Oh yeah yesterday I was so depressed"
I remember feeling absolutely hopeless. The sadness, the depression and the anxiety always came back, so why does the joy i feel now mean anything? I thought that feeling anything positive was pointless- id just be back down again in a little bit. (Spoiler alert, those thoughts brought me down quicker) I realized something though, sounds so obvious and insignificant, but this meant with a slight change of perspective, that the happiness comes back too. When i feel happy, i let myself enjoy it. I give myself permission to have it while it lasts. When im sad, i let myself experience it. The happy will come back, and i will be okay, just not right now. Sometimes i still struggle with looking at it like that, but theres a small part of me thats constantly there, loving that i have experienced hope, and waiting so patiently for me to feel it again.
This was a little too soppy for my usual comments and not as well written as id like it to be but man its three in the morning and im really hungry so i think im actually gonna eat the cheetos i got earlier alright have a good whatever time youre in right now later 🌈
I'm the same way when I get this way with people. I usually sit there and stare at the floor or some shit like that till my best friend asks if I'm OK. He's the only one who ever notices.
depression isn't just tough, it is like you are worthless and can't get out of bed and face the world. other than physically being able to make a cuppa or turn over in your bed, I'm ashamed to say I haven't showered for weeks when I'm in a depressive episode. I have derealisation and I am constantly in a state of daydreaming and people laugh and say I have my head in the clouds. but I don't want my head in the clouds, thanks for making this video dodie xoxo
The worst for me is when I can physically feel the bad mood. My chest gets all tight and painful, while my head feels totally empty. As you said, I have nothing. No emotions, good or bad. Just boredom and numbness and an achy chest that I can't seem to get rid of.
Everything feels numb... I feel that. And the “everything is not going to be ok” I understand how that feels. I’m glad you understand that the happy you will soon come back❤️❤️
After going to countless therapy sessions, my therapist has concluded that I have depression and anxiety as well as body dysmorphia and maybe others. And honestly, after so many nights of sobbing in my bedroom, Dodie's videos are the only thing that keep me from committing suicide.
sad thing is for the record someone once told me they would smile and grin and i actually died. only because i asked him if he would even care if i died while he was so sad for a youtuber who died. and apparently i am supposed to just ignore that type of comment. even though no one will ever say they would care if i died.
Please don't! You are an amazing person who deserves to live! You are SO MUCH more then you think and I want to help you in any way that I can! Things will get better and you CAN get though this! You might not think you can, but you can! Take life slow, one day at a time, and you will get though this!
Both of you and anyone else who needs it! I have also gone through hard times in my life and Now that I am feeling better I want to try to help as many people as I can! You are both AMAZING PEOPLE!!
No problem! If any of you ever need someone to talk to feel free to talk to me! We can talk back and forth here or you can pop over to my channel and comment there (you don't need to subscribe or anything) I am glad I am making you feel better!
You have the best attitude towards this feeling. You explain that you will feel it, you’re supposed to feel it, you’re supposed to be depressed, and that you’re not gonna fight it and just let it be the damn devil it is :) lol love u
I just had one of this day. Generally I am a strong person and overpass everything but today was just..... messy and I was a wreck. You who read this might not belive me but just writing this brought me a bit of relief☺️.
It's crazy to me that people can be depressed a certain day, I've never experienced that. Depression for me is a constant thing, I don't have breaks, it doesn't choose days.
I had a relapse this last month like 6 different days within the month?? Randomly. It is weird as you say. Because it is not constant so you have no idea if you should diagnose it as depression
I also make snacks aggressively when im in a low mood like just slightly slamming things onto the counter comes naturally and then I feel guilty afterwards and cue the self hatred
i’m not sure what it is about eating fruit or veggies when it’s bad brain time but it’s so therapeutic. like hey i cannot do anything about my state right now but let’s eat some fruit shall we
You're eating healthy, when I'm feeling that way (I'm here right now because I'm feeling that way so I looked up whether I'm depressed because I'm worried about myself) I down an entire bag of Trader Joes' apple sticks in a few minutes.
Also I would love to mindlessly watch videos on youtube, but I have work to do. I just feel really unmotivated and I had a large biology project due last week that I haven't even started.
“That’s why I get so hung up on the past. Because I felt it then but I don’t feel it now so I just want to go back to when I can feel again.” Never thought about it that way before, damn.
I feel ya.. My head feels stuck like... Its not working or dunno.. I started meds a week ago so i hope those will help somehow soon. Good luck with living!..
Your depression is different to my depression! I have weeks were I go untouched by my depression then it hits me a brick wall! My depression is sort of a I'm gunna die, I want to die, no one likes me, no one will care if I'm gone sort of thing... and then I cry and cry and cry... Just food for thought
that's how I felt for the last few years, and then one day I woke up and felt like a completely different person, I felt like an empty shell. I'd much rather feel the pain I used to, and actually cry rather than feel how I feel now :/
That is exactly what happens to me. It's like all of my insecurities come out and I start to think the same questions again and again like "Do my friends actually like me? Will I lose them for being such a mess? Why am I like this? Does eveyone think I'm lame? I can't even make a proper dinner I'm gonna fail in life" and I just feel very lonely and cry a lot
Unnamed mine was always a mixture of that kind and Dodie's. Sometimes I get relapses and usually when I do they're more like Dodie's depression but back when I was in the thick of it it was mostly like your depression. It gets better ok I hope you know that.
Tbh that sounds like Major Depressive Disorder. You can talk to your regular doctor about that, or see a specialist if thats within your means/what you prefer. Definitely tell someone (ANYONE) when you're in that place.
[I'm not a doctor, but I have a bachelors degree in psychology.]
Unnamed this happens to me too. It hits me in phases instead of on a daily basis. Where I will just feel completely numb to everything and not feel joy for a few weeks and then go back to being happy.
You as same as me, but the lastest depression that i got this morning (timezone) was weird, cause in the morning before i went out the class, my friend asked me gave her my paper work (she's not mean, she's nice), she wanted to copy because last extra class, she wasn't there. So in the evening, i forgot, i took a nap until 5:00pm (that's when my extra class start) and yeah, my dad told me to relax at home (we're late). So i took a bath, text my friend to appologise her and until 6:00pm, my depression hit me like you did something really bad, you lost her trust, you liar,... So I *cough" hurt myself. I have my mood back after play game with friends in the second extra class but it doesn't go away. (Sorry, it's too long)
Unnamed I'm the exact same way and I always get so scared that it's not actually depression and I keep getting told by people that it's not for the sole fact that mine works where there's nothing for a few hours or days or a week, then it hits me like a fucking truck out of absolutely nowhere. People just push it off as me being sad or something, but people who have ever felt the two, know the difference.
Pets help depression. Trying to laugh as much as you can. Comedies with family. Looking up your family tree history, doing things that are a part of your heritage, ancestry...like making a recipes your ancestors probably made. Counting your blessings. Thinking stuff like, "Well, at least I have two feet. Some people only have one or none." helps. & Music helps, too. This is my list that cheers me up, toughens me up. I'm actually learning to walk again after a car accident has had me down for months. So, I listen to this while I practice. @t ....& There's these you tube nature sound videos with a lot of birds singing, those help cheer me up. Getting out to where there's lots of trees and birds, less people. Here's life lines: @t
Ugh god some days I just don’t want to do anything but everything and I just wanna cry but there are no tears and I feel hopeless and afraid I’ll never be loved or happy again, but this video let’s me know I’m never alone, and so do you. I love you and thank you for all you do and continue to do.
lol when i get depressed i just sit. eat. and then contemplate life. then i tell myself how bad of a person i am. how everyone is perfect except me. then, the next day, i look into the mirror. i look into the mirror and i let them free. i let all the tears i had been holding in the day before roll down my face. crying into the sink with my head held down low in disappointment in myself because i am not perfect. then, when i am ready, i look up at myself and think; "you are not perfect. that is who you are. you are awesome, and you are you. in the end, that all you get. so cherish it. you are amazing and while everyone else is busy being perfect, you will be busy being your awesome, kind self." then i do the most amzing thing. i smile. i say to myself; "she is beautiful. she is me."
i've never related more. sometimes im like "am i depressed or am i just sad today?" but i do have depression. No matter how "happy" i am one day that sadness will still always be there
This is really beautiful but I would just like to remind you that other people are not perfect. I know how easy it can be for us to forget that the things we feel and the problems we go through, those around us go through them too. They just hide it. Just like we hide our problems from them, afraid of being judged, afraid of what they may think. I would just like for you to remember that you are really not alone. The people around you might not be going through the same stuff as you are but they have their issues too. The people who you consider perfect are probably also thinking ‘oh I’m so awful and I’m a terrible person and everyone hates me and I wish I was like her’. Get what I mean?? While you’re thinking about how everyone else is so much better than you I can guarantee you that lots of them are thinking about how everyone else is so much better than them.
I feel like I’m having energy drained out of me by every situation and even thoughts about doing simple things exhaust me. Without having the Energy to do anything, I feel worthless and weak and that’s the cycle I have to break out of somehow. Kratom helped with energy and anxiety but I don’t want to be dependent upon anything forever. I want to naturally feel stable.
Shloka Frank literally me two days ago. I've been pushing it away and everyone around me, including YHIS VIDEO is just showing me signs that I really need to just let myself be. The problem is with my current circumstances in being grounded that isn't possible and anything try to do while grounded just isn't enough, I feel like I just need a day to be able to do what I want my way how I used to before I got grounded, because without that routine, my life is a stressful mess and it's affecting my depression a LOT. Literally just I'm not able to any,ore. And everyone is telling me I need to just listen to my emotions and IM NOT LETTING MYSELF AND NEITHER ARE MY PARENTS
Dear Dodie, I've suffered with mental illnesses my entire life. When I was five years old I started to experience auditory and visual hallucinations that haunted me even in my dreams. As I grew, my symptoms became worse. I started to feel outside of my body, watching my life slip past me-Food tasted gray, the world seemed dull and out of focus, words became white noise. My depression festered in my chest to where I physically felt a whole there, something that couldn't be filled. I didn't tell anyone for years, tried to keep it inside and not burden anyone with it, but when I started self harming at the age of ten, I finally told my grandparents and they got me help almost immediately. I was in and out of hospitals for years, constantly having scans of my brain and needles poking into my skin. I became a "mystery case" to most of the doctors that worked with me. I felt so alone. I had no friends (Besides my best friend who had stayed with me since the age of eight) because no one wanted to deal with my constant depression and anxiety. My family, excluding my grandparents and mother, weren't much of a help; most of them were addicted to dangerous drugs and alcohol and fought with each other constantly. Books and writing were my only companions. I found solace within the words written between the pages, and the words that I wrote down on paper. Doctors were keen on figuring me out, diagnosing me with one thing after another until eventually there was a big stamp on my file that read, Mentally Disabled. For the next five and a half years, I was given almost every medication they could possible give me. When I was close to my sixteenth birthday they were nearly out of options. They told my grandma that eventually treating me would be pointless. And then they put me on a medication that changed my life. It took about a month, but suddenly the world cleared. I was in the car with my grandma, passing old country roads that I had seen thousands of times before, and out of nowhere, I could see. The houses were colorful and the sun blinded me with it's brightness and the grass looked so green. I began to sob uncontrollably. I could see and I could feel my own skin and I was in my body, a REAL person living in a REAL world. After that, the whole in my chest began to feel with real laughter and happiness and colors. It was magical. Sixteen years after living with bipolar disorder, psychosis, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, and OCD, I was a real person. I've written two novels and I'm currently getting them published, I have a girlfriend of whom I'm falling hopelessly in love with, my best friend is still my best friend and soul mate, and although my life is chaotic and weird, I'm happy. The reason for this message is to tell you that it DOES get better. It might take a while to find the right medication or to find what helps you the most, but Dodie, I promise it gets better. Don't give up. Keep your friends and family close, and never feel bad for your illnesses. You are a beautiful, wonderful person and you deserve happiness. Love, The girl who believes in you.
i am insanely lucky to say that i don't struggle with depression or anxiety or any of that, and while i do have my own unrelated issues, as every human does, i hope that anytime this happens to anyone it can end quickly because it doesn't seem very pleasant at all, and that of course it will happen and you can't stop it, you can at least wait it out, because the next day is always better than the one before. stay beautiful you random people :)
Rose Vasquez Hi Rose, funny, you're named as my least favorite flower (I just think that a rose is a cliché flower). Anyways, I was diagnosed with depression when I was 19, and some days are great, and others are absolute shit. I understand everything that she is saying, and it honestly makes me feel like I'm not alone, that someone like Dodie knows what it's like. So much for a "mopey" video.
You're over 19? I imagined a 12 year old after reading that first sentence. Anyway, has it ever occurred to you that everyone (not just you) has both great and terrible days. It's called part of life, not some special condition. Everyone has ups and downs, so suck it up and learn to deal with life. You're not special.
My main problem with her is that she doesn't seek solutions. She simply wallows--a huge giveaway that she's in it for attention, not a cure. And how convenient that she has a bundle of other problems and personality deviations. Think about it. Not only is she depressed but she's bi, anxious, depersonalized, detached, insecure, allegedly "going blind" in one video. Next she's going to have cancer. Whatever gets attention and feeds into her deep-seated belief that she's special.
Rose Vasquez most of those things are heavily interlinked. Depression is usually paired with anxiety, it's the most popular next to manic depression. Bisexuality is completely separated.
Rose Vasquez Terrible days? More like years. I just love trying explain depression to people, it's just great! Depression just feels like falling, just falling into nothingness, to the point where the sorrow and the pain is just numb. So numb that if you could just fade away you wouldn't feel a thing, just peace and quiet. So yeah, I guess you could say that I have had many terrible days.
I don't want to be another person ganging up on you, but I have something else to add that hasn't been addressed. She talks very directly in the video about how she is reminding herself that things will get better and she tried all of those things like going outside etc, but it's a chemical thing and there's really not much you can do but hang on and ride it out. This was just one video where she portrayed herself in a very low-functioning state but almost all of her other videos about depression are optimistic and about actively seeking solutions.
Rose Vasquez 'everyone has ups and downs', are you kidding me? It's a medically diagnosed disorder cause by a chemical imbalance in the brain. People don't have depression for attention, unfortunately you can't escape it, sometimes you want to reach out on a platform where u feel supported.
Sometimes wallowing in it IS the quickest cure, otherwise the feelings are just suppressed and bottled up for later.
Sometimes reaching out for attention IS a solution - attention in the most basic 'I want you to know I'm struggling and need help' sense, not an egotistical one.
'Anxious, depersonalised, detached, insecure' - pretty much all part and parcel of depression.
'Bi' - not exactly an inherent problem, but perhaps in her experience it's been a difficult journey figuring it all out amongst her mental health problems. Understandable really.
'Cancer' ... WHAT??? Such a massive, tangential leap. But oooh yes, such a CONVENIENT illness! Honestly, get a grip.
Rose Vasquez she clearly not looking for cure for her depression. Cause it's not like she making videos to help her feel better about her self or talking directly to the camera to give her self more confidence. It's so clear that she not doing this to help cure her depression. And depression is so not a condition where you feel depressed 5 times more then normal people are easy put into the mode or can suffer great mental damage from it if you don't address it and stay in the state for too long .
Rose Vasquez What's wrong with her wanting to let out all the shit she's been feeling? When you're depressed, attention is what most people want, because at that moment, they feel like they mean nothing at all. They doubt themselves often, but of course, you wouldn't understand because you've never experienced it.
Rose Vasquez You obviously don't watch her snapchats because she's always seeking help and with small changes (she got therapy, pills, YouTube etc) she gets better. The bad days get better there are less bad days
But of course she's just seeking attention for her medically diagnosed depression
Rose Vasquez she's gone to counsellors and therapists. When that doesn't work she uses making videos as her therapy and in extent it gives people (including me) who experience the same illnesses as her a place to go and just be without having to worry and feel as bad as usual.
The difference between sadness and depression (for me not everyone) is that sadness comes and goes and depression is there. It's a looming figure that is always there and is worse from time to time. Depression is heaviness and hopelessness. Depression is ruthless and merciless.
Please, next time you feel annoyed by people talking about their mental health issues , keep your thoughts to yourself and/or research about what they're saying.
Rose Vasquez chemical depression isn't just a bad day, it's where your brain simply isn't functioning properly due to chemical imbalances that cause mood changes. as well as this, it can link with anxiety leading to fear the oneself is sick in many other ways also. idk if it's been medically proven but typically people don't just have one mental illness but rather a few that go hand in hand (e.g. anxiety and depression, or manic depression etc) for example i myself struggle with depression (and other things), i also suffer from severe joint pain. i am working with my team to find out if the two are linked (it's not unknown for mental illness to link to or lead to other physical illnesses) but depression sure as hell makes the physical pain worse. so no she's not just clutching at diagnoses and claiming unnecessarily that she has a million and one different problems, because in actuality many of these problems (which i am positive she is aware of) can be linked and feed off one another. depression also can effect people differently, and the same person differently on different days. for example it is clear that 'venting' and reaching out to her audience is clearly a quick-working release and form of therapy for dodie. however for others that may not be the case. depression and anxiety can make a person feel unwanted and insecure, and pining for attention can be a key symptom of both. so her 'wallowing' isn't really her, but a factor and symptom of mental ill health. plus if you actually paid any attention (even in this video when she said she was having bloods done and had a referral to a clinic) then it's pretty darn clear she's reaching for help and solutions- which can sometimes be difficult with the NHS.
Rose Vasquez also being bi had nothing to do with this - being closeted can lead to illhealth due to isolation and it being generally a difficult time in someone's life, but this simply isn't the case right now. also you have failed to see the links between the symptoms you stated. anxiety and depression typically go hand in hand. being depersonalised and detached is also a symptom of severe depression. insecurity stems from anxiety. as for 'going blind' that can be linked to both as the fear part is anxiety-based as it is common to fear ones health and wellbeing with anxiety; but can also link to depression as depression can lead one to believe that the body is 'shutting down' and can create physical symptoms that there is a physical condition. please read before making ill educated comments.
Rose Vasquez everyone has good and bad days, but not everyone has depression. Depression is waaaaaay different from having a bad day. I've never had depression, thankfully, but at least I try to understand it. It's not something you can control. Literally nothing can cheer you up. Happiness is essentially nonexistent, I suppose you could say. There's nothing that gives you fulfillment. You feel there's no point to anything. Its different from when someone wants to be over dramatic and say "I wanna kill myself" when a minor inconvenience gets them down. Those people could still have aspirations and things to look forward to, whereas when you're depressed, there's nothing to look forward to. Once again, depression is uncontrollable. It's an actual disorder, and people like you saying shit like this are the reason nobody talks about it and people commit suicide. If we stopped treating depression like a joke and thinking that depressed people just want attention, we could help so many more people and even save their lives.
Rose Vasquez are you aware that everything you feel is chemical? If certain chemicals in the brain are missing, you feel like this. It's not in your control. That's clinical depression. And any kind of depression shrinks parts in your brain and physical effects. Since you're one of those people that need to see it physically with your eyes to understand something, this is for you. Having a "bad day" is completely different from having depression.
Rose Vasquez Omg I agree with every word. She is literally playing a sweet vulnerable gentle tumblr girl who is easily damaged and uses every mental condition which is easy enough to claim to have. Finally somebody gets it.
Celestial Demon You don't know what hate speech is, and also, I don't take any messages typed in all lower case seriously because it looks disgusting :-)
Rose Vasquez I think you just don't understand because you've never experienced it before. You think it's just a simpler thing because you've never felt as shit as depressed people do. You have to keep this in mind, don't just say really negative and mean things when you don't even know what you're talking about. :/
One time I felt like shit and my mom wanted to cheer me up by taking me to an event in a park nearby, I appreciate her trying but I really just wanted to lay in bed all day instead.
I’m watching this 2019 to feel something My ex friends birthday is tomorrow and it feel like a knife is cutting my soul And I feel guilty I don’t wanna go to school tomorrow
What!!! I'm chronically ill and what Dodie talks about with two minds, one good and one bad is true for me too. I see myself in all this so much it's scary. And my mind is healthier than my body at least
i love watching your videos. but sometimes these videos make me start thinking about how i'm feeling and then i check weather i'm okay. and then i discover taht i'm not okay. than i get sad
wheeeeep! don't watch. these vids are mostly for me, to document how I'm feeling. Life is wonderful. Please go make urself a microwave cupcake, or open and window and breathe in the fresh air. Luv u <3
When I’m depressed I just feel so exhausted and some what empty, like I could literally stare off into space and stay like that for hours. And sometimes I’ll feel like crying but I just won’t be able to ya know..
When it's chemical it's like: "My joy is silent. She has been silenced. She's in a coma and can't wake up no matter what. The lighting in my heart changes to a kitchen in the evening when the lights are off, its just about dimming and I'm in my heart's kitchen, missing joy and my contentedness because they are not in my little mind house. Everything has a sleepy blue lighting ."
i hate it when people say i feel depressed today or some rubbish like that, depression does not come and go you don’t just ‘wake up depressed’ depression stays there. i understand you’re trying to spread awareness but this isn’t the right way.
I’m watching this thinking about how I tell my mom that I am depressed but I now realize that she probably has a different meaning of depressed than what I mean like we’re not on the same page
Sometimes I have an on and off phase of depression like anxiety, my chest feels heavy and my mind just repeats realistically deceiving thoughts until I fully persuade myself for them to be true and when depression starts I just stay quiet with no words to express so I just small talk whenever someone mentiones me. But I am now taking these St Johns wort pills that slowly but I think surely work and I slightly feel better and feel I can still do fun and fulfilling activities.
that's actually rather comforting...I mean I hate when I'm being in that state....but I hate even more that I hate myself for questioning if it's even real >.> because sometimes it just shows up as unbelievable boredom, no satisfaction, no enjoyment in anything, nothing is good enough and everything is irritating....and the hopelessness is more about "I hate this, I don't want this, how can I ever get out of this?is this gonna be my life forever?"....well....so....watching your video, made me atleast feel like there is a spark of hope somewhere, that this might pass and that it's not just me....well...not that it's great that someone else has it...but...maybe you know what I mean.... not in a good place here right now...so hello there!
Everything from 1:52 - 2:50 Sooooo relatable damnit agghh
And 3:13 - I literally do this. That watching a TV show thing and just stopping because you can't keep it up anymore. And then I would avoid the things that would normally bring me joy because I don't want to taint it with my shitty mood
Currently, I don't know how I feel. It's so weird. The last days I was unusually tired and felt kind of... normal? That should be good, but after I didn't obsess over everything the alternative turned out to be indifference. I just don't know. I feel like I could be so much more productive without my usual lack of focus holding me back, but then I don't want to do anything. Usually I always feel under pressure and my problems with executive function just turn that into guilt instead of productivity and I don't enjoy stuff because it will be in the back of my mind. But now, I am just tired. Like, physically tired and weak. I tried putting my symptoms into an app that usually works really well diagnosing things like deficiency which will later be confirmed by a doctor, and the only thing it came up with was bipolar disorder. I just don't know. I will just have to go on, surprisingly meeting more friends then usual, doing more and being better without actually being there or feeling happy about. Now I made myself cry. I don't want to go back to constantly being told to do stuff. I need a break. I just have no clue what kind.
Jesus our Lord and savior loves you. He is always there for you. You can tell him anything. He can take your pain. There is hope in Jesus. In his words called the Holy Bible has amazing things in it that will bring joy. And healing. Phillippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Peace be with you. We love you friend. God bless you.
Okay yeah I get why people are pissed about people 'self diagnosing' themselves but think about it, how else do you know to get help if you don't think you're depressed? I look at it as people who are confused and reaching out for help, rather than people disrespecting or trying to downplay serious mental illnesses. Everyone's thoughts about themselves are valid ❤
Yeah. It pisses me off when people say that it just causes more problems when you self-diagnose. Of course no one should just type in, "What do headaches mean," on Google, but you know when your body isn't functioning right. If you keep thinking that something's wrong when it's not, then you have confirmed that you have a disorder that makes you feel like something is off all of the time.
Georgia Neill I totally get what you're saying and I agree that everyone's feelings are valid and that depression isn't something to be taken lightly, but I have met quite a few people who will jump at the chance to tell me that they're 'sad sometimes' or that they 'probably have mild depression because they feel sad a lot' because they see the sympathy that people who actually have depression get and want to jump on that wagon. The sad thing is, the people who want to feel special in that respect make everyone think that every kid who claims to have depression is lying. I just get frustrated when people try to call more attention to themselves through a means that shouldn't be used that way. All of that said, I would never disregard anyone's feelings if I don't know them personally. It's not my business to diagnose people I don't know.
my depression, is a bit weird, i feel like im in a black dark room, i feel like im dreaming, it's like everlasting silence, even when my family is laughing loud and screaming, i hear nothing. i went to a therapist, and nothing helped, my therapist did NOT understand what MY depression was. She thought it was a phase, and i told her it wasn't she brushed it off like i was just a sad 11 year old, (im 14 now) and i ended up not going anymore. but being sad, is way different from being depressed, definition of sadness is feeling or showing sorrow, depressed is in a state of general unappiness.
I kinda relate to this, 'cause everyday I can do things and fake happiness but I still feel like shit all the time and no, happy is not a choice, "fake it till you make it" doesn' t work when you are depressed, every single one of this statement is bullshit. Now I'm in a phase where I get very sad and spaced out almost everyday, then I feel so fucking angry about this because I should be happy, then I cry because of anger and I want to beat the shit out of people and destroy everything with a baseball bat. After this moments of rage I just cry because I disappointed myself and everyone around me and I usually cry myself to sleep while listening to the tv mumbling things that I can't understand cause I don't feel real at all. It's shit. It's just shitty. I woke up and had a panick attack today for no fucking reason at all. It's a huge pile of shit.
Cris Writer I'm so sorry you have to go through this. its awful, I'm going through it myself. but please hold on. if you're looking for a sign that you should stay, this is it. I know you can get through. it won't always be like this.
@Kermit Manson it has been like this for the past five years of my life, nothing changed, I still feel so bad about everything. I don't know how to fix me. I don't even think that I can actually be fixed, parts of me will always be broken. I won't kill myself anyway: funerals cost way to much and my family can't afford it, so yeah. Still thinking about the well being of everyone over mine. Good job me. ((I'm sorry for venting to you like this, it has been a really shitty day and I don't have a lot of people to talk about it around me))
Cris Writer sorry for the late reply. listen. not everyday over the past five years have been bad. what I do everyday, no matter how shitty I think the day was, I count 5 things that were good about the day, and 3 things that weren't. days aren't good and bad. they're just days. I'm proud of you for getting through these past five years. I'm sure it was awful at parts. but I still believe you can do it. things will change, but only if you have the courage to let them. sometimes as humans we get comfortable in our sadness and are wary to leave, seems stupid but its true. so break out of your comfort zone
Kermit Manson Today I feel a little bit better. I do try positive thinking, I did that "count things that were good today" for a long period of time, but I am so frustrated with my brain. I want it to work, I just want everything to work normally. Not even be happy, because I know that nobody can be always happy, but just normal. After five years I'm kinda just losing hope in everything. But I am still trying. I will always try my best to be stable and a little productive every day.
Cris Writer I'm so proud of you <3 I know how hard it is, I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, and psychosis for 4 years now, so I do know its like super shitty. you're doing well. you're doing amazing. normal doesn't exist. so dont stress about that anyway
Don't know if this will help but try to escape into anther world, by reading books, watching anime, tv shows etcetera etcetera. It worked for me but i don't know if it would help for you. Hope you get better soon
Some days I feel so heavy and my bones feel cold and I can’t get warm and when I’m around people or trying to live my life it’s like I’m a little tiny pebble swimming in my body and I’m trying real hard to get up to the surface and peak out of my eyes and see the world and see what’s happening if that makes sense.
Thats how im feeling right now. Its funny, just about a month ago i was as happy as ever, but every time the new year comes, i always get depressed. Every summer i get depressed. Why is it always that time? Summer and the end of the year. Is it because everyones out having a good time being happy while im stuck at home? I guess. I think i might have Seasonal affective disorder, which is a mood disorder characterized by depression that occurs at the same time every year. Its common, so i wouldnt doubt that i have it. I hate it. Its like all the life and spark was sucked out of me. Especially being around my friends at school who are always so happy and cheerful, they always know if something is wrong with me if im not my loud cheerful self lol. It takes so much of my energy and im constantly tired. Its like One moment i can think wow i actually feel good, and them seconds later im depressed all over again. I just wanna stay in bed all day. Cause whats the point? Its not like I'm doing anything. I dont have plans. So whats the point? Im just sad. I don't know why. I just am and i cant explain it. Of course it definitely isnt as bad as last year. Man, it nearly tore me and my dads relationship apart. But i know hes always there for me. He's all i really have tbh. But yeah, if any of you guys feel the same way then atleast im not alone 😂
Just don't get into regular drinking. That's when depression can really take you down.
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Khonsu the Core2018-06-02 19:47:57 (edited 2018-06-02 19:59:53 )
Me since the start of summer and I've stopped seeing my school friends. One day during the school year I went home and wasn't depressed for the first time in a long time and I cried about this girl I've fallen in love with and I still felt happy in some way because I wasn't depressed. Still sad as fuck but just not depressed. I just keep going back and editing and adding on to this. I also have ADHD so things already don't stimulate me as much as they should and with depression it makes me want to not move and to just sleep and be unconscious for a while because maybe when I wake up everything will be better. Don't really know how I'm feeling today. I think I'm in the middle. I think I'm depressed but I feel understood so it's not as bad.
While I was scrolling through the comments I noticed a lot of people that aggreed with dodie and were like "yup I am depressed, too". And I am not saying you're wrong because I don't know you and cannot judge you, but what I do think is that especially because young teenagers have access to all that information about mental illnesses in the internet without already being fully developed many of them develop a habit of thinking themselves into something until they really are affected by their thinking patterns. I am studying psychology and neuroscience (this doesn't make me a proffessional though) and guys, depression is not "today I feel depressed, tomorrow it's better". These are bad moods or depressive episodes. They are not nice, that is true, but they are not depression, and you better be glad you don't have to suffer from it. There is a dangerous romanticizing of mental illnesses going on - like you are not special, authentic, beautiful enough if you're not somehow mentally damaged. But mental illnesses are not cool, or nice, or like a necklace you put on to decorate yourself. Like dodie described, mental illnesses can be very physical and sometimes, depression can't be healed. Sometimes, doctors and psychologists stand there with nothing in their hands anymore, because the brain is too complex and unexplored and they can't go further with you. They don't have any treatments anymore. Depression differs from person to person but mostly it is a state of not eating, because food disgusts you, of seriously losing weight, of not sleeping or sleeping too much, but not because you are lazy or tired, but because you can't stand the daylight and nothing brings you joy anymore, and sleeping is similar to being dead. You don't go on Youtube, you don't watch series or TV, you're not even on the internet, because nothing interests you, you don't find the energy to do basically anything, not even the things you actually love, everything irritates you, makes you angry and sad, even if there is only a tiny thing standing in your way. This is depression, and it goes on for weeks and weeks and months and for some people for years or their whole life. Not for days. Depression doesn't go on holidays and comes back. Bad moods or Depressive episodes do. I have ambivalent feelings about dodie making a video about her being depressed, which involves making a plan, actually filming yourself talking about what is going on, then editing and uploading it. Like I said, I can't judge her because I don't know her and I am sure she has mental problems (especially with dissociation, I found her decription very authentic) and it is also not my business. She makes her inner life public though so this involves people having opinions about it. And I don't know ... the depression I had didn't allow me to have any idea for anything, let alone realizing an idea. And I am a creative person. But she can do whatever she wants to and I hope she will get better soon.
I'm a freshman at college. I moved here in a city miles away from home. The first month of college was ok i guess. I still had the motivation to study new stuff and meet new people. I enjoyed going to class. I reviewed for the exams and i pass all requirements. But then something happed and just like that, i woke up one morning to a feeling of nothing. I didn't felt anything. I went to school and avoided everyone. I didnt pay attention to lectures. A week passed and i'm still not ok. My friends are getting worried and i told them i'm ok and that i dont have a problem with them. I told them it's me. Exam week came and i didnt study at all because all that i have the energy to do was to drag my ass to class but bs mentally absent. I slept a lot. I didnt go out, i went straight to my apartment from class. I ate a lot too. Then came the giving of grades and i saw that i failed my exams. My morale got even lower. I become more quiet, i sleep more often, i did not respond to texts and chat messages. I enabled thr Do Not Disturb feature on my phone. Then suddenly, i wake up feeling better. I felt the warmth of thd sunlight on my face. I felt the urge to say send a good morning text to my parents. I came to school excited after a long time. I was hoping everything would go back to normal, but it did not. My friends drifted away and find othdr company. My grades are slipping and i understood less in class. I didnt know how to get my grades up again. Exam week came again and i actually studied this time. But i found it hard because i was mentally absent in the lectures on those topics. I fucked up my academic and social life and so now im struggling. Im always alone now. I havent had another episode but im always lonely now. Sometimes i wish that i could go back to not feeling anything at all because right now, it's so hard. It's hard to have a depressive episode then go back to normal after you snap out of depression. It's harder if you dont have anyone who understands what you're going through. Im not even diagnosed with depression, i just self-diagnosed so im not even sure if this is depression. I just wanted to share this. I feel you all, im going through the same thing as you.
This video is old and I very seriously doubt that you will see this comment but it is so genuinely...comforting to see someone else in the midst of depression.
This video was me for the last decade. I cannot even describe to you how much this is what I've been going through. Life is a lot better since a year ago and I NEVER thought I'd say that. I'm a musician too. It seems to affect us creative types the most. You're not alone, Dodie. Remember that when you feel really spaced out, I'm going through it too and so are many others. You are real, your brain is just hiding because life is scary. It'll be brave again one day. I hope you get the help at Maudsley. I'd love to go but I'm too far away. They have medications that directly targets DP/DR. SSRIs often don't really help it but everyone's different. It has worked for some. Hang in there, Dodes ❤
Omg I keep thinking about this. It's like there's a cure somewhere in London and I'm just lying in bed feeling crap when the thing that could make me better exists
I was in contact with a guy who was treated at Maudsley. I think he was an inpatient. He told me he was put on a drug for mood stabilisation (which is actually an epilepsy drug). My bipolar friend is on the same drug and it can help with OCD as well. She has done really well on it. The issue is, as with all medication, there are side effects. This particular drug can cause life-threatening rashes so what they do is they put you on a very low dose for a little while and monitor you gently upping it to safe levels. My bipolar friend has been on it for years and she has had no ill side effects and says it's saved her life and that she is as close to normal as possible on it. The guy I spoke to who trialed it at Maudsley did have the reaction and I don't think it worked out for him. But it's really different strokes for different folks, and your biochemistry is unique. What happens to one doesn't happen to the other. I've spoken to thousands upon thousands of folks suffering with DP/DR over the last decade since it happened to me. I advise never to go on nomorepanic.com to see all the people in the panic stage and the long-termers who are severely depressed, nihilistic and disillusioned. A long-termer is someone who hasn't sorted out the underlying issues and maybe cannot afford to or is reluctant to. If you're going to research it, research cured or stories of people who've gotten better. There's quite a few videos on youtube with great advice for DP/DR, people who've suffered it strongly for like 10 years who've come out of it.
The thing with DP/DR is that it is essentially a symptom of an underlying issue that needs to be addressed in therapy and then a life structure incorporated to work around it and make it so that you have all the tools in place for you to get better and stay better. It is extremely rare that it's a stand-alone problem so yes, therapy is key. You are real, and you are - and I mean this genuinely - not doomed, Dodie. Your brain is having a reaction in this way in order to keep you safe because it's mistaken life as a constant threat. It can be undone and don't let depression or nihilism lead you to believe it won't because it's a lie.
I really recommend mindfulness courses. Grounding techniques! Meditation is key, I believe. DP/DR tends to box you into a corner in your mind. I think I might even have the email of one of the psychiatrists that the in-patient guy sent me if you'd like me to forward it to you. I'll pop back with the name of the drug.
I do mindfulness for 10 minutes every day and a 30 minute body scan twice a week. I can not even convey how much it helps, not only just with anxiety but with life in general and with obsession over DP/DR as well which in turn is the best thing to stop so you can give your brain a rest and for a lot of folks it can lessen or help curb their DP/DR. I experience it still a bit but after hardcore DP/DR for years and panic during that whole time, obsessing over not being able to feel or enjoy anymore etc - I'm about 90/95% here most of the time. It fluctuates for me and there's always a bit about but I can have fun and experience things around it, which I never thought I would be able to do. I still struggle with blunted emotion a lot of times but I've noticed that because I'm expecting my DP/DR to keep me blunted, I stay blunted. When I have genuine, unexpected experiences the DP/DR doesn't get in the way because I'm not self-protecting or expecting grandiose experience of self. This hasn't happened till this year and as I mentioned, I'm notching up a decade with this 24/7. I had a moment of complete clarity in my Screenwriting class a few weeks ago and it was just absolutely joyus. Like, to know it can happen, y'know? I just gotta give myself time and keep working on it in a kind way rather than punishing myself emotionally for having it in the first place.
You cannot think your way out of DP/DR. Your brain sort of assumes it's a sort of equation type problem and it's desperately trying to figure out how to fix it, but the fix is not in the fixing - the fix is in the letting go.
People can take OmegaBrite to help lift depression but I don't know much about it so if you are considering, really do research it. Same with Lamotrigine, research the hell out of it and make sure you have a lot of support around you if you do decide to take it. Make sure you're aware of the risks with it and that it's something you're ready for. Desperation can make us make hasty decisions. I was always looking for a miracle cure in medication, but - and not to dampen your enthusiasm - I think it's actually more likely to be long-term internal work. Then again, I've never tried Lamotrigine. But my advice is to be cautious and wary of thinking a med can be the cure. Head meds come with side effects (I'm sure you know this but I just want to be real about it). You need CBT life structure in order to manage your brain's proclivity to dissociate long term for sure. Therapy is vital with this issue.
Absolutely best of luck to you, Dodes. Hope this helps <3
I get reoccuring depression as well and they stay for few months at a time.I've actually kinda gotten used to it I mean it still sucks and I still cry alot in bed but i know what to expect and I know it will get better some day. However my bf never had the experience and doesnt understand at all. He sometimes get fed up or frustrated with me or worse try to "cheer me up" with peptalks. He just doesnt understand the experience and i dont blame him I didnt either before I started suffering from it. Its just that when the person you feel the closest doesnt understand you at all it makes you feel 100 times worse because not only are you depressed, but now you are also feel alone and hate yourself
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Fatih Kan2019-07-23 23:40:48 (edited 2019-07-23 23:41:20 )
feeling pain is good. it means you're so much alive. But When You're deppressed you feel nothing because you stop living. not sorry not worry just emptiness.
whenever I'm depressed I just feel really really tired but I'm not actually tired....I wouldn't say I'm depressed but a few times a month I do get depressed if that makes sense ..
thank you for speaking up about this. I've been feeling like this everyday for the past three years, I don't even get excited for my birthday or meeting my friends. and it keeps me from doing things that I love, like playing instruments or singing lol and therapy hasn't worked for me
This is a very raw video and I love dodie but she did shoot this while she was in a depressive period so if you want to understand a bit better by someone also depressed you should watch daniel and depression or you can talk to me. Read on if want more bants.
I saw a video just before this one about her and dan's depression and bawled out my eyes thinking about my depression and then came here and felt a bit better so thank you dodie
Does anyone else have it where they feel depressed for what feels like forever but then they have a good day where you're maybe not happy, but you're just comfortable. So you think "hey this is great! Maybe I'm not depressed anymore" but then the next day it comes back?
I don't think I have depression.. but still.. I can relate to a lot of these things :/ I'm doing better now tho, but it was horrible a while back. But oh well, after the holidays it'll probably happen all over again
Depression feels like I'm in warm water and I just Don't want to get out cause I'd just rather stay depressed than feel better and fall again cause it just hits harder each time. I'm not gonna live long. I'm almost certain one day my life's just going to be ended by my own hands. I just haven't built up the courage yet.
I’m feeling it I don’t really know what to do it’s the weekend i feel like I want to sleep but I’m restless I keep trying to listen to music keep skip like I can’t I want to watch Netflix but stop watching I feel like I want to take bath but 15mins I’m getting out
Being depressed means not caring if you die, which causes you to not care about leaving the bed, eat, speak with people, drugs will be very attractive, strong feeling of guilt, lack of will power, anxiety, lack of energy, disruptive sleep and more, it lasts for months and it takes a really long time or sometimes never for the person to realize they're depressed, but it's noticable by others, now not all depression episodes come that strong, but it gets to that state if you continue with the same lifestyle or don't get treatment. Basically you can never say, today im depresses or this week or this month, it will be false, its just you're doing many things wrong, 2 things can tell you if you're depressed : 1. You really haven't cared if you died for months( since the thought of death occurs more while depressed) 2. You notice that for several months you can't follow just one routine and can't control yourself and organize yourlife with an extreme feeling of guilt all the time even over small things.
NFA78 I’ve had depression myself. So i know what it is and what’s it’s like. I don’t think her intention with this video was to spread false information. I think the point of this video is that you can be depressed, but have worse days than others. Her wording wasn’t right, obviously. Because depression isn’t something you just feel one day and then don’t the next, but it is something that can be awful one day and not so much in the next few, if you understand what i’m saying. A few years ago i was extremely depressed to the point i contemplated suicide and even attempted. Now, I’m better. i’m no longer taking meds for depression and i’m all around happier, but there are days i feel down like i did when i WAS. I hope this clears up what i said better. have a nice day/evening. xo
直美 Yes it is, but it is still different for everyone. Some people can’t even get out of bed, some people can still go about their days seemingly fine when really they are not.
Depression fucking sucks. That's all there is to say. I know it's different for everyone, but for me it feels like something that's constantly pushing down on me and looking over my shoulder. It's been progressively getting worse, despite my life is progressively getting better. I don't know. It just sucks. And there's nothing you can do about it sometimes. And she's totally right. You can't do anything. Everything feels boring. You're just in this void. And since there's nothing to do, you sit alone and think, which for those of you who aren't depressed, thinking alone while depressed can be harmful. So for me, I'm stuck with these negative thoughts about myself 100% of the time and nothing to do about it. And there are times when you feel like it might never get better. And that's fun because I've been this way since about August. There are sometimes things you can do to get your mind off of it, but there's not much. The best thing anyone can do is find someone who REALLY cares about you, and is willing to talk to you when you feel shit. It's those people who help the most
Watching this 2 years later, not wanting to leave bed unless for food. Feeling that no one wants me around. Sitting in a black room hoping everything and every thought stops. Life for some people is amazing but others life is a prison. I feel everything she says, therapists try really hard but nothing works I’m stuck in one place. Crying all night not getting sleep. My life has gone downhill and I don’t think it’s going back up.
I've gotten spaced out like four times? It's terrifying. I'd try splashing water on my face slap myself but nothing works you just have to live through it. Thankfully it goes away after I've slept I just understand dodie.
I’m going to end it all tomorrow. I wrote my suicide letters and have them away and my own letter is ready and on my table. I’ll finally have peace then. Thank you all and hope you figure out whatever you’re doing. ❤️
I wish you the same, I don't know what happened to you to go that far but you don't deserve this Think about the people who were there for you and know you like a friend or family... they still have love and attention to spread! Talk to them about your situation, I know this is not easy but they deserve to know your situation not too late...
@Darin Al-Faraj Did you talk to your closest people about this ? Now you're just trying to convince yourself to do it Please if you didn't do it already seek a little bit of strengh in you to talk you'll miss things in life that you'll probably like
Bakary K I’ve tried to talk out, but no one cares. I had 2 friends I really cared for, but they never cared for me, I could be dead and they won’t ever care to call me or ask me how I am. So I got rid of them and cut them off. They’re fake and poisonous people. My parents was really mean to me, they tortured me and beat me all the time I was a child. Hearing my mom telling my dad to “kill her, kill that whore” damaged me totally. I can’t trust anyone. I haven’t felt love and too scared to love anyone. I don’t even dare to get in a relationship. My whole life is a joke and a waste. I’m so ashamed of myself.
@Darin Al-Faraj You've been trough a lot already that unfair that a parent thinks of their child like that
You are ashamed of what you've done or because of what your entourage think of you ? Reach out for associations or you probably have a public number to call in this case where you live no ?
I cant help but wonder if living with Hazel doesnt help. Hazel and Jack, as brilliant as they are, are happy. They appear to be SO happy, and I know from personal experience that being so close to a happy couple, makes your sadness feel bigger. On the outside, we barely ever see Hazel, which makes me wonder how much she is around for her roommate and friend. I cant help it. I cant help but be worried that Dodie isnt getting the love and support a person often needs from someone in their own home. Or is she always alone.
I stay in all day with a heavy feeling all on my body ,, I feel so filtered as if I’m in a dream ,,I almost feel as if my body will shut down somehow ,, i dUnno
You have to let go. Understand the fact that you keep yourself ocupied with infinite loops, that consist of "why" questions. You ask them in hope of finding the answer to happines. When you feel depressed i don't think it's logical to find happiness if you don't feel it. Take it logicaly it will probably help you.
I thought it's just me. Like going into a trance or something. The people around me thinks that i am cool, that they want to be like me they said. What they dont know is that i am just tired of being me. Just like in Billie's lyrics, "i wanna end me" is my motto. Keeps muttering "fuck" and "shit" all day for no apparent reasons. This video made me feel good and bad at the same time. I dont want this anymore. I dont know if im depressed or just completely tired or something? I really dont understand anything. I want to stop school and just crumble to dust. I am sooo tireeddd af. I want to be me. Because today, i am not feeling myself. Again.
I hope you know that depression is actually addictive. So if you have been depressed once, It's like quicksand. It will try to pull you down again and it is up to YOU, and ONLY YOU to NOT let it pull you down again. Depression is a very addictive and I mean VERY addictive, state of mind.
I can definitely relate, some days I just absolutely can't human. but I love u and I hope u know that u r never alone. I'm suicidal and I cope with music, and when I feel down I put on ur album and let myself b sad in a healthy way
If you're stuck at the bottom, grow flowers there. Flowers may be edamame beans or comfy pajamas. You do not need to try and fix everything all at once, just be and take the little things that are somewhat okay. There will not always be an instant release, so donut get discouraged. Keep doin ya thing!
Idk i think i really needed this idk thank you for making this
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King Entity2019-07-24 07:39:39 (edited 2019-07-24 08:01:09 )
This year wasn't always the best for me my grandmother died then my oldest brother kicked my family out my sister almost was molested and now start having sex my two older brothers are ignorant and other is fool my mom and uncle died and my girlfriend moved to Maryland all I can say now is that god tried to make me happy
You can’t have a “daily” mood change so drastic that you called it depression. It’s sadness, you can’t say “oh yeah yesterday i was super happy, today im depressed”
looking on the bright side, you've managed to make yourself something to eat (which is even proper healthy) and you managed to wash your face before bedtime. that's some fucked up effort when depressed.
i was supposed to start seeing a therapist...now it feels like they don’t care about getting me my first session. they’re in shock that i feel this way.
@Tamara Miranda i know. what im meaning is that it's very easy to understand. like, im depressed and can't really explain it. i can't really explain it to people?? but she can.
I was too weak to feed myself today that was a low point. I am recovering badly from anorexia I travelled too long and now its too late to get food. I feel faint sometimes was under too much pressure. to remember to eat I feel crushed.
some girl in my grade tried to kill herself and even though i have depression (yes, i was diagnosed) i’ve never tried to kill myself and one day at school i was just having a huge depressive episode and i broke down all day and it was crazy. that girls (who tried to kill herself) best friend told me that if i was really depressed then i should kill myself. i-
Me throughout the life I had so far: Until 6th grade: ANGST ANGST ANGST and confusion. 7th and 8th grade: confused, still a bit angsty, insecure but happier. 9th grade: Awkward as hell, full of philosophical shit, depressed once or twice a month but mostly happy inside.
My Name me: 6: deathly depressed and emo 7 and 8: depressed but hiding it 9: better but anxiety ridden Start of 10th: sad and scared Getting to the end of 10th: I feel way better and I love all of my friends
Me: Until 7th: IM SO HAPPY 8th: ooo look at me I'm so cool gonna be a high schooler next year he he 9th: slow spiral into depression 10th: asks for help from a friend, goes to therapy, now feeling much better and really trying to take care of myself
I thought I knew depression, till I took that test they couldn’t diagnose but now I’m gonna go to a doctor. I...am just a kid would I know what I’m doing? ╥﹏╥
I would love to be your friend, I just love the way your brain works. I know im gnna have a shit week already and I don't even want to have a good week anymore.
sometimes I really just want to cry, but it just doesn't work & it's very frustrating because you do NOT know what do you want to do with yourself and your life..
i remember that when this was originally posted, i had no understanding of what she was explaining. i never finished the video because it made absolutely NO sense.
but now, after taking focalin for the first time, i completely understand. i was undoubtably the happiest girl on the planet during any social event, school day, or nights out with my friends. now im so scared that the way i feel now is how i was meant to feel. that my happiness was just a facade and i was just lying to myself and those around me. it scares me so much.
i had no other way of describing this feeling to my therapist, so thank you dodie clark for this description of how i feel, i really want this to go away and no 14 year old should have to go though this. no one should have to go through this.
Interesting to see. When I am depressed (which is almost always) but I mean REALLY badly depressed, I won’t eat, maybe I’ll just lay there and roll around in my bed all day. My phone will ring, I won’t check who it is. Somebody comes to the door, I won’t answer. The only thing I get up to do is use the restroom. I don’t have enough energy to cry but I’m certainly sad enough to. It’s different to see how other people are on their bad days.
I hate it when depression just starts creeping making you not wanna go out but just stay indoors ALL THE TIME because going out is too much of a hassle.
I find it so hard to make friends outside of school. I love school because I have so many friends and I get good grades and my teachers are nice to me. It’s summer and I have no one to hang out with, and nothing to do. Nothing anyone asks me to do is anything I can get myself excited about. I just want to wake up tomorrow and get ready. I want to go to school and see all of my friends. I don’t have anyone, and I feel so alone.
I wish my parents knew that i am depressed so they can take me to the doctor but i am scared i don't want them to worry so that's why i been keeping it all by myself
I've been struggling with these thought these exact thoughts. It's been so long it just feels like a part of my character and I don't know what to do. After at least two years of having this and having one really bad and long episode where it was so indescribable, I finally told someone. And it's just a crazy ride and I feel guilty about telling them and I'm trying so hard to just be happy but it's just so. I have moments where I want therapy, and others where I don't and I just don't know what to do anymore. My parents don't really think that highly of therapy either and I know if I told them they would tell me to just 'enjoy life' and I just don't know what to do anymore
T. G. I feel quite similar ... I haven't exactly told my parents but I have given hints and I think I want to tell them but also I don't because I don't want them to feel horrible. Also my mom seems to have problems with mentaly ill people, idk ...
And I really want to tell you: At least try. Try therapy. If it doesn't work for you, alright but at least you tried it out. It's worth it. Because there is a chance that it works for you.
Lockenbarbie Becca thank you <3 I think I might try to talk to my parents about therapy this month. Or, at least, someone. I hope you can do the same too I hope we both can find a way through this thank you <3
I hope things get better for you! If you are still in school you can try going to the counselor there! Most of them won't tell anyone about your visits if you don't want them too (unless you are thinking about self harm). I went through a hard time in my life and I feel like things would have gotten a lot better for me a lot faster if I had gone to talk to someone! YOU ARE AMAZING AND THINGS WILL GET BETTER!
Duck Puppet thank you <3 my school doesn't have a councilor I can talk to but I am definitely going to try talk to someone about it this month. Thank you so much <3
Its exactly how i feel right now and how it is... I would want to get threapy talk to my friends about it, but i cant i just... I live in a small town. If i would say it to my mom as how it is, she would say "dont worry ur not depressed, ur just 14 years old, you are just feeling sad, it will go away" also i dont feel like talking to my friends about it, kinda for the same reason, most of the times my friend jokes about these "young" people on the internet that pretend to be sad if they like broke up with their bf when they are 15 or something like that... im scared that if i tell him, he would just laugh.... plus we only meet on school he lives pretty far away from me.. My other friend lives even more far away... I dont really have anyone to spend a day with.. so i just exist somehow.
car radiø You're feelings are valid, alright? Your age doesn't matter. I understand that it's hard but please try to talk to someone. Wish you look and hope you'll get better. xx
There are different kinds of depression. Looks like yours is young and mild. I have battled debilitating depression since I can remember. I just turned 58. When I'm in that dark place I can't even shower
I've been on various SSR1s for the past 3 years or so and I couldn't recommend them highly enough. I started out on Fluoxetine (Prozac) and six months down the line that wasn't working. Then I tried Citalopram which again, didn't work. but now I've been on Serteraline for about two years and I don't know where I would be without it. I'm not saying everyone should depend on meds for happiness, but if you're feeling low on a general basis then sometimes it can just help you get through the worst bit, and when you're feeling better you can ween off them (like I'm doing right now) just don't immediately discount the idea because it makes you seem "crazy" - there's no shame in needing a little help to lift your 'rock bottom' to a little bit higher. like the treading water metaphor you used, sometimes and SSRI can help you stay afloat a little bit better. but if the first one you try doesn't work, don't give up, try a different medication or a different dose and eventually you'll find one that works for you and you'll get there. I believe in you <3
meme meme yes!! so many people don't want to try meds because they don't want 'false emotions' or to not feel like themselves but what a lot of people don't realise is that your mental illness is not you either. meds do make you feel more like yourself :D
I started Fluoxetine in November and I don't feel like it's working that much :/ I don't know whether I should ask to try others or wait it out, it's my exams soon and I don't want to have another adjustment period as they're super important. :(
I went through the same path as you, first Fluoxetine, then Citalopram and now Serteraline (100mg per day), how long was your adjustment period? I've been on it for a few months now and I dont feel like its doing much for me, but I'm not sure if its because of the adjustment or if its just not working for me
Lucy I've been on it for a couple of years now. I started at 20mg a day, then 50mg, then 100mg, but it didn't start having an effect on me until I increased the dose to 150mg (I've since brought it back down to 100mg and so far so good) so maybe you need to try a different dosage, the maximum is 200mg I believe
Thanks for replying, maybe I can talk to my doctor about going up a bit, I just really want to find something that works, good luck with your reducing I hope it works out well for you
Oh god, how do you have energy for talking to the camera when you feel like that? I cant even make myself to write anything down in my journal. Ohh. And I don't even know what IT is, because i'm too scared to talk about this to my therapist so I just tell her random things about everyday life ugh
I just had the biggest panic attack of my whole life like 30 minutes ago. I couldn’t even breath properly. The reason : I was depressed 2 years ago because of something really bad that happened. Since then, I hate myself. Like, I HATE myself. I can’t look at myself without wanting to throw up. There’s this boy I’m in love with and he found some pics of me when I had depression (I was fat as hell and I just looked reallyyyyy ugly in general). I was so ashamed of myself. I literally wanted to kill myself. He did tell me « you look amazing don’t worry » but I still got a really bad anxiety attack. I was about to hurt myself. I can’t describe the pain I’m going through right now and I feel like no one understands me. I have such a big obsession with the way I look and I can’t go out if I don’t wear makeup and jewellery and great clothes. I just feel like it’s gonna make me beautiful. I want people to tell me I am. Because that’s the only way I can feel a bit of confidence. I have no idea of what to do. Fuck.
Hey when you talk about this dark feeling of depression, is it like you have fog in your brain? Very random question but I really wanna know? Oh and this is a question to anyone I just...im lost (in myself) and I wanna know...?
Guys, I have bipolar I disorder. I’m always depressed. I’m always hopeless. I always feel nothing. I’ve been diagnosed. I’m not faking it. I was trying to be sarcastic. I’m sorry if you got it wrong.
If i am the root cause of your ailments... I apologize. If i had any part in your suffering... I apologize. I would like to put in footwork to make it better for you hear yet that might not be possible or realistic when all things are taken into account so i want to at least apologise. I may have had nothing to do with this yet i wouldn't be surprised if i overall had everything to do with it. I thought i was waking people up to what else is real out there and our disconnect here. I am used to my dreams beyond dreams and such and have been since a youngster if not also prior. I wish i took in the negative results that could take place though regarding my influences on others. I thought i was doing something good yet it seems i put you in a similar situation as myself. I do not relate to it all yet i worry i caused it all. I do not get the sight issues, maybe once in a blue moon yet i think i overall get non of that aspect. I tend to know when i am dreaming or awake yet i check the reality of that at times for sure. Much of that is do to me seeing and experiencing the future or past from my body or others or from anywhere out of body and all the other co-existing timelines and or dimensions don't likely help with bringing clarity. I definitely have the visual disconnect at times yet i think i am more used to it, as far as detail, color, texture and definition goes... I still crave to see the beauty of what i know exists elsewhere yet in body here. I want to see that beauty in my waking life and i want others to too. I still dot on you by the way. I will always love you and you have a special place in my heart. I am very sorry if i brought you torment. I want you to be happy and healthy and i want you to feel forever fulfilled and loved. I wish and hope you at least are or become content and much more than that after. I think i want to crash with you and hazel hayes some day. I might have dreamt with the lot of you and you both seem to be beautiful sweethearts and i could just see myself enjoying spending time with the likes of you both. I would be happy to spend time with either of you as well. I hope i haven't made life too much of a rollercoaster for you or anyone else and if i have i hope to change that as soon as possible... If i can and should. Ripple and butterfly effects and so forth hold me back from writing wrongs i want to because of other things and sometimes you could say it is just out of my hands if not something else because all have seemed to apply. I wish you the best and i love you. Thank you for the positive impact that you have had on my life. Sweet dreams to you, Love!
youre not depressed "today" youre depressed every day. its just hitting you harder on certain days. stop saying that depression is a once a week thing, or its something that everybody has once in a while. im tired of seeing everybody saying their depressed when really theyre having a bad day, or theyre sad. depression isnt a 1 day event.
please get help. nobody deserves to feel this way. i don't know your situation, but if there's a way you can find/receive help, please do it. speak to someone. good luck lovely
I'm really really really sad right now cuz my dad's dog might die which he's been here with us for 12 or 13 years and he cant even move his body but his eyes and we all are sad and scared for him to die.😞😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
i have days like today where i don't feel anything like sadness or happiness, etc but then i go in a spurt where i get really depressed and self harm and then a few minutes later i feel happy and then i go back to feeling nothing all in one day and i'm not really sure if i'm bipolar or something else because my mom won't take me to the doctors
God is what's missing that will fill the whole that leaves the emptiness. He will complete the picture. Jesus is what you have been longing for without realizing. I truly hope that you recover from this and I hope the same for everyone in the comments. I was at my lowest point and God pulled me out of it. I also hope this message isn't interpreted as a joke or is seen to be too formal or random or weird or all of the above because I realize there is this stereotype of Christians that causes people to dislike the religion for the people and not for God. I really hope this comment isn't interpreted in that way. Truly hope you feel better
Oui I felt that so bad the other day,,, I went to an ice skating place and I LOVE ICE SKATING and I felt nothing I was just cold and I wanted to go home,,, I fell down and instead of laughing I got so pissed
It's not always neccessarily depression, you may have adhd or even some kind of learning disability which developed with age and you may feel the symptoms of that. I'm not saying you're not valid because for sure you are, I'm just trying to help you so you can look these up and maybe that could help. (sorry if I didn't put it into words well, English can be tough sometimes as a foreign language :) )
I hope you get better Rovan. Sometimes it helps to go to a psychologist or psychiatrist. Just remember that you're strong and someday you will get through this. x
Rovan Ibrahim, I just figured I would mention that I have ADD (attention deficit disorder) and it's basically where you can't focus. it's kind of making my life terrible right now and I probably have depression too, but I've started taking medicine for it (Strattera and Vayarin). I just want to say that I hope you're doing better!
See every year from the 8th grade I always had a bunch anxiety and that gave me this dream feeling like I'm not real than later I found out it was dp. High school came I started heavily getting into psychedelics benzos, and pain pill (I don't like saying opiates, it sounds harsh hehe). So I'm still going through that river but I think maybe one day I can get through it and I think you can too man. School fucking sucks and it's not an easy time but you can make it through.
Today, i was really anxious and yeah.. Then i started to feel depressed and suddenly i felt like i was in a pit of depression. Im not very sure why.. I feel like.. Im scared of enotions and stuff and everything is just meh... Im scared that im faking it because.. I felt really good yesterday.. Well yeah... But today i realized stuff... It made me feel like a shit
And then after being at home all day being depressed and crying you are forced to go to a lesson with people you dont really like and have to make up a reason you didn't do the homework and try to pay attention to things that you dont give a damn about at the moment..
I just idk feel like I’m screaming but nobody can hear me, I really don’t know why even my best friends don’t see how bad it is going for me, I know I have no real problems but I just don’t feel fine or feel at all to be honest I’m just existing
depressed (today) u cant be depressed 1 day or under 1 week. depression is something that lasts in months possibly years Been depressed 7 years so i know what im talking about im 16 btw
I keep coming back to this when i am depressed because she just worded out everything in my brain which i don't wanna say cuz even that feels boring and useless at the end. This is comforting.
Hi Doddlevloggle, this is the first video that I stumbleupon when I typed in "I am depressed". To be honest at this moment I don't really care who reads this or anything. I just really want to put it down on writing or typing if you say so. I am honesty depressed. Honestly I free depressed because I don't know what I have in my life anymore. I have lost my path in life when my father passed away in high school. My father and I never really had a good relationship but I still considered him my father. Once my father passed away I really lost my way because I had not drive or even the money to go to college. So I took a gap year and just work. I finaly got into a community college and I was doing my best and was working at the same time. It was just not enough. I failed and left again and just ended up working. As I continued on with my life. I started doing stupid stuff because it was the only thing that made me happy such as drugs, alcohol, anything I can find. I was even more depressed when I received a DUI. I'm on my way to finishing up all the paperwork and everything on DUI so thats good. During that time thought I was lost and sad. To be honest I felt the closest friends in my life are not even my closest friends. We label each other as best friends but I don't even feel that way. Even some friends in my close circle are starting to question it. The funny thing is that I even question that before. I really wish my mental illness was not part of me. It has been part of me since high school I am 23 years old now. I am just really lost in the world and I don't know what to do. There is more I want to say but I guess I'll stay end here. Thanks for sharing your video, I understand from your point of view.
Haha...I feel the same way every day. But it started to annoy me that depression stops me from doing things that any other person would just do without thinking if it's worth my effort or not.
I can't tell between my happiness self and depression self, I think my depressed self is my always self. Idk, I've forgotten what different emotions feel like, I just want to die and curl up. I want to stay in bed and do nothing uck
I have Seasonal Depression and this winter has been the shittiest I've ever had. My brain has been in like a loophole and I'm just sad for no reason. My dad has this as well, so I'm using a light and I'm trying to get more sunshine, and I felt like just sleepy and just wanting to never do anything and my anxiety has been through the roof recently as well.
Yeah, sometimes when I wake up, I feel have no future, and that it'll be any day now before I take my own life. But I get good days, and sometimes I get neutral days, where it's kind of a mixture--like neapolitan icecream, you know? On those neutral days, my mood is so incredibly fickle. It could be carried off in any direction, from the smallest causes. I could be a little clumsy a few times one day, and it'd just destroy me for, like, 3/4 of that day. But sometimes you have those days where you wake up, and you just get sick of wallowing. You feel competitive, like you're in direct competition with yourself, and so you try to work up a rough list of things to do in your spare time--not necessarily a strict schedule, where you say: "I have to do this from exactly the mid-to-late afternoon". It's kind of more like: "Just do it when you're ready, but make sure you actually get it done before the end of the day". I find that I don't enjoy those actitivies nearly as much if I'm forcing myself to do them for the sake of a schedule, and enjoyment is sort of the key. You have fight in you, and you're ready to make a change, but without any outside support, like a family member or a friend, it becomes hard to continue listening to the supportive voice at the back of your head without getting sick of hearing it. It motivates you because it feels like someone else rooting for you, but you just get to that point where you can tell the difference between someone supporting you and you supporting you. You realize that it isn't someone else, but only yourself, and that only reminds you that you're alone. There's no one to see you where you are now, and there's no one to see you get passed it. It's fucking hard, and I wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy.
P.S. Here's a random poem:
I exist as I am, that is enough, If no other in the world be aware I sit content, And if each and all be aware I sit content.
I don't feel anything anymore. Only a few little things bring me some joy. But I miss the days when I was full of inspiration and excited about partying with friends, learning new stuff, doing things, traveling,... Now nothing interests me. Even relationships... Dating.. Intimacy...same patterns.. Same disappointments.. I don't even get heatbroken.. It all just bores me.
it's do annoying having extreme seasonal depression because just one (1) gloomy fucking day can make you feel like you never want to get out of bed and then the next day it's all nice & sunny & you're like "hahahaha i love life!! wow!! this is amazing!!"
I have depression and most of the time my day goes like this: Wakes up; I’m tired and I don’t want to leave Breakfast; i hate breakfast Morning; meh Lunch; no Let’s go outside? nope Afternoon: I’m still tired Diner: I guess I’ll have to eat something Oh great my family is home now, so I can chat to them, cuz I’ve been home alone all day(I’m not going to school rn). Nope, don’t do that either Night: I’m tired, but I can’t sleep
But I’ve started medication 2 days ago, and i might be going to a clinic. Soon? Idk. But I guess that’s pOsiTiVE
I’m not diagnosed and I’m to socially anxious to talk to someone about it but I’ll be fine at the beginning of the day and then all the sudden all the light will be sucked out of me. I won’t get excited and I’ll be unmotivated to do anything sooo yeah I’ll smile but my eyes are just kinda dead but yeah so idk what that means oh well
Bit wary of everyone in the comments diagnosing themselves with depression :/ always always go and talk to someone before assuming there's something absolutely and definitely "wrong" with you. (Quotation marks because there is nothing wrong with being depressed)
Amanda S I know it's very common. However, no one should self-diagnose fully. It's very easy to go through something and relate to someone else, but that can be extremely hindering to continued mental health. All I said was you should talk to someone rather than
Tiz Rae I absolutely see what you mean, and obviously it is preferable if you go see a mental health professional if you think you might be depressed. However, there are some people that can't access mental health services that easily for a variety of reasons, and their feelings aren't less valid or need any leas help - I honestly can't see any harm in recognizing symptoms in yourself if it means you can find coping methods for that specific illness online, and if you can find communities with similar problems that can support you. If you actively stay away from care because you prefer self-dxing, well, that might be a problem, but you aren't less depressed just because you can't afford treatment, for having parents who would disown you if you got in contact with mental health services (they exist) or because you are too scared to immediately talk to a doctor, for example.
I want to add that feeling depressed does not equal having a depression. Mental illness is never something to assume and self-diagnosing is so bad in so many ways
I mean I intended for it to be a joke. I am INCREDIBLY mentally unstable. However I am truly sorry if you found it upsetting, triggering or offensive in general. Thinking about it now I understand that you might be upset because I get quite upset when my class jokes about suicide. Once again I am sorry and I hope you are okay. Edit: I have deleted my previous comment. Sorry
The DSM is extremely subjective and it doesn't take much to get a diagnosis from a doctor. If someone is truly feeling like something isn't right and no one they know is experiencing similar things, why can't they self-diagnose to some degree? Some people benefit from putting a label on things so why not let them have a small amount of comfort if they're truly hurting?
Kirstin Huff Well, because if you slammed your finger in a car door, you cannot see what's going inside. You can google it and maybe have an idea, but unless you're a pro or have X-ray vision, you cannot know what you're dealing with.
If you're ill, you won't get better by self-diagnosing and creating treatments based on the Internet. Don't get me wrong, the Internet can give you really good tips, but here's the thing: what if you self-diagnosed yourself wrongly?
One of the most liberating moments of my life was getting diagnosed by a psychiatrist: with chronic deep clinical depression. I mean, it's hell and it comes and goes and when it comes, ITS HELL. But knowing what you have is the first step to recovery.
If you self-diagnose, you can never know. Only assume.
I get where you're coming from, but it's also often difficult to get a diagnosis (especially when you're a teen). For YEARS I was told I was just being a teenager and it's only after 4 years of counselling, daily panic attacks and two hospital admissions that I was FINALLY told I'd been suffering with severe anxiety. Yes, people should definitely see their doctor, but chances are if you think something's up - it probably is
the privilege of a professional diagnosis is pretty limited to like,,, white not poor (sometimes cishet) people. doctors are less likely to diagnose you with any mental illness if youre a person of color (ESPECIALLY if youre black), closeted kids cant always receive help without going into detail about what exactly makes them feel whatever way, if its coming from how people treat them because of thier orientation or internal feelings about it. poor people cant always afford therapy or meds or even taking time off of work. thinking self diagnosis is for idiots who read an article about depression once is very limiting. i was self diagnosed with depression for two years (as a still closeted girl of color with not very supportive parents) and i did a shit ton of research because i was so paranoid.
I kind of agree but at the same time you're the only one who knows how you feel Nobody else feels the exact same way as you do Only you see the world the way you see and that's okay
I would also like to say that some people can't afford to go talk to someone (in my case, my mom doesn't "believe in psychologists" AND we can't afford it). My point being, bashing on self diagnosis can tend to be a bit classist not everyone can afford that option.
Kayla Richelle sorry, I guess I was more referring to my UK based experiences. I didn't mean to bash anything, just said I was "wary" of self-diagnosing. Didn't mean to offend anyone.
Tiz Rae Disagree. I know my own brain well enough to KNOW that what I went through a few years ago was depression. I've spent months researching and the thing is my parents are the kind that would honestly yell at me if I told them about it much less asked to be diagnosed because I told them I had anxiety and they yelled at me.
Tiz Rae IM SORRY I DONT MEAN TO BE RUDE BUT I don't need someone telling me how I feel on the inside. I know how I feel. I don't need to go to someone that I don't feel comfortable talking to about such deep things so they can tell me what I already know. But I get your point. Sometimes people can think they're depressed because they might not know what depression really is. Or they can be attention seeking. I meant there's a lot that someone can misinterpret as depression. Maybe sometimes people overthink everything and they overthink their sadness. So it turns into this massive cloud of sadness that they've brought upon themselves.
Idk what I'm saying anymore. You never know what's going on someone head. Don't assume that they are self diagnosing or that they aren't actually depressed.
xnox I'm sorry if I didn't take it the way you meant or if I came of as rude,i really am. I took it the wrong way,I'm sorry. But yes,I do have experience with metal illness,I just want you to know I'm not romanticising it. I'm truly sorry I didn't understand.
just saying dude, but people dont go to therapy to be told that they have a problem, they go because they want it fixed. therapists won't just tell you that you're broken, you hand them the pieces and they'll put them back together with you. just saying.
You choose depression. I dealt with it for over 7 years now and the answer it's very easy..be depressed again and again till you litterally get borred and realise that the answer in the universe IS YOU!
Some people think that just because they don't feel motivated enough they are depressed. You lool really depressed, but like I see in the comments, some people really like to think they are depressed when depression is a way worse and complex state. It does not come and go. It isn't for a short time. It's a state where you feel trapped in day and night, every, single, day. Even when you feel happy you still feel emptiness. Depression does NOT equal sadness. Depression is lack of enthusiasm and fuel for life. Depression is incredibly lonely and dark, and it is not easy to get out of. To all of you 12 year olds that think they are depressed and post about it on instagram.
What are those beans called? My depression will last days upon days, and I will usually fall back on food, and its usually sweet food (Cinnamon Buns are my kryptonite), but I'd love to give healthy things a go instead.
I think they're snap peas or sugar peas. They're really good, I really like snapping them in half and eating the peas that are inside, it's kind of calming.
You know what I'm just going to get this out there that I have been in depression for 3 years and I'm 14. I feel like I'm not good enough and I doubt myself. I try to switch my life back around but I have no motivation to do so. It's like a trap that you can't escape. I had tried many times. I just want to change the way I am :/ sorry if this is cringie...
I watched this a while ago and I didn’t understand how she felt at all not one word but I watched it again now and I get it and it’s terrible and I wish I never had to understand
my way of describing my depression is: I'm running a marathon. I don't know how many people are running with me. I don't know how long it is. I don't know how far I've run, nor how far I have to go. I can't go off the track. I can't really do anything except run. And at some point, I can't anymore. I collapse. I fall down. I don't have nearly enough strength to get up. People go past me. No-one helps me up. All of my cells start withering and fading and I start to crumble. I literally cannot do anything. More people run past, some muttering that 'you should get up, stop being so lazy. after all, if I can run this race, you should too. there's nothing stopping you.' and i cant do anything.
QueeenBeee this is so beautiful and definitely one of the best comments I’ve read. I can’t describe how much I relate to this. Good luck. And go off the track on an off day. Give yourself a break.
1.) You feel so tired and your like f*ck everyone and everything.... you just want to crawl into the corner and die (not kill yourself.... You just want to die slowly. Don't sleep don't eat and don't drink NOTHING)
2.) I feel like I am so tired but I'm stuck in a small room (cold) and it's dark but that one light. That one light burns you every time you go to touch it but then you hear laughter from a small window on the opposite wall and you go to look out and there is joy and happiness out there but your stuck in this small *ss box and you wish you weren't. The thing is there is no door and no way to break that window because when you touch it... It's like fire so your stuck there forever alone and in the dark
Tilda Nilsson that’s not what she means. she has depression but some days she feels better but on this certain day she doesn’t feel good at all. a bit hard for me to explain lol.
Ok to start everyone gets depressed and wake up at odd hours for reasons they either don't want to understand or just can't do anything about. That's called clinical depression, you should ask your doctor to have your blood pressure checked or get an EEG done.........usuallly the meds they put you on Clonezopams, losartans, (if you're lucky a 420) etc they help more than SSRIs
You have no idea how much i get this, but the sentence i am depressed today feels wrong to me. For me it's more like, on days that i function and feel again, i am sort of on top of my depression for a few moments, hours or days. All the other days are just covered with a big black messy cloud that ruins everything you touch. Nothing makes it more bearable, it is what it is.
@doddlevloggle is this a random occurrence or can this be caused by something bothering you for a while now. I mean to ask, do you kinda know why you feel this way and are afraid to admit it to yourself or anyone else why it's so? Cause I feel so sometimes
Laura Kay2017-06-12 21:43:48 (edited 2017-06-12 21:45:14 )
I had brain surgery last year, and I've since been diagnosed with derealisation, anxiety and ptsd. I've been on a sick note for well over a year now and I've only just decided to go back to work. I'm so fricken scared! Some days I can't physically get out of bed because I don't sleep due to insomnia from my ptsd nightmares! I don't know what to do at all, and some days I do feel really depressed even though I've not been diagnosed... I don't want to be one of those ignorant people who diagnoses them self with a mental illness, and I don't particularly wanna have another one! They suck so hard, but I literally can't do anything some days! I'm on medication for my anxiety, but it's also an anti depressant! I don't know whether they're making me feel more depressed because I know they're specifically for depression... HALP
4:37 wowowowow i wish i could have that much positivity when i'm in a depressive pisode bcs when i am and remember those times when i was out of it and happy and wonder if i'll ever feel like that again i just want to kill myself bcs i feel like it's impossible huehep
The only thing I hate about being depressed is that people often tell me I can't be depressed because "You have it so much better than other people". And like, yeah, I do. But if we take the same theory and apply it to happiness, it changes perspectives. Someone else might have won the lottery today. Somebody, somewhere has just gotten their first job, or gotten a promotion. Someone just got to hold their newborn child for the first time, and someone probably got married today too. These people have it so much better than me, so I don't deserve to be happy. Doesn't quite feel right when you compare them, does it? Happiness or sadness is a personal feeling, and is entirely based on that persons situation. So, if you have a bad day, don't worry about it :) If we didn't have bad days, we'd never know when the good ones came around! ^_^
I’m always negative but I’m not necessarily always sad. I don’t say “I feel sad” I just flick it off. But then I have days in which I know I’m depressed, I wake up and my first thought is “fuck I woke up” and then I eat uncontrollably and cry for the rest of the day.
How can she talk about her depression and get all these views and when we all try to off our selves all we get is put in a damn hospital for a week? Where's the fairness?
What? She's a professional musician, so of course she is going to get views. If she attempted suicide she would likely get put in a hospital too. She's just expressing herself and people watched it.
i wonder if i actually have depression i’ve never been diagnosed with depression but it’s clear that i probably have depression and it’s really bad and i don’t wanna do anything but die and cry and stay in my bed all day and listen to songs and make myself feel worse but i can’t because i have school and stuff and other stupid things i have to do all the time and i rarely feel happy people say it’ll get better, but it never does, i always feel sad, cold, empty and alone and i don’t wanna do anything and whenever depression will come up in a conversation my mom just says “can’t they just decide to be happy?” and no that’s not how it works, do you think they want to feel terrible? No, they don’t want to and now i’m gonna start crying because i feel like a failure and it’s taken me 2 hours to do my math homework and it’s not even hard life is great
I always wake up in the morning and feel like I’ve been betrayed, depressed and exhausted... I’ve been going through some weird and tough times.... I feel depressed for no reason and just constantly eating ice and listening to sad music (if you think I mean ice cream well I don’t I mean ice like literally frozen water) I sometimes go outside at night lie on the lawn and look at the sky and count stars and when I lose count of them I get up and get some ice....is that weird or not?
I've been so depressed lately just from doing nothing, being sick, crying, puffed up eyes, not being able to see, stuffed nose, I just feel so terrible. =(
it was my biggest fault to think that whenever i'm stressed or anxious i shouldn't make that a 'big deal' because "oh it's just a common stress you will get over it!!" "you are a teenager so it's normal and just ignore it!!" i don't know that that mindset means whenever i'm feeling down i have to push and force myself to ignore (which is impossible) because 'it is not a big deal'. i stress because acne, friends, things i shouldn't worry about, anxiety and many more. every sunday i will get anxious automatically since the second i woke up until night because "tomorrow is the start of your anxiety". i used to try so hard to not absent in school but now i just want to fake my sickness so i won't go to school. the reason is never because i'm lazy but school is like the source of all of my problems. i found no one around me acts like me, feels like me or maybe i just don't know but that makes me so alone. i worry too much about past that people 99.9% doesn't even remember, i think about other people's feelings too much until i forget my own. "i shouldn't say that.. am i too harsh? they must think bad of me.. people will hate me... i'm a failure" one small mistake that no one cares can leads me to those careless thoughts. people think i'm overreacting and at first i thought so too but no i was wrong they are wrong they just don't understand
ISRS are really helpful, consider it. It's not like the happiness pill, otherwise everybody would take it. It's like you one day stop watching things so so so wrong, I mean, the world still sucks, but you don't wanna die for that. Just 6 months while you do other 'natural' things to feel better. At the begging I was scared I was going to stop being so sensitive, because that's my particular cause of depression, but no, I started to think clearer, maybe less emotional and more reasonable; but still sensitive.
warning.. talks about self harm I get like this a lot, but I have to go to school everyday. Idk how I do it. A few weeks ago I didn’t go to school for a week bc I felt so shit, but then it catches up on me because I have to catch up on the work I missed so I feel stressed and emotionally drained. I’ve reached out to school for help before but they’re not qualified and don’t help. Nothing feels real for me either; it’s like I’m seeing everything and experiencing everything but it’s just not real and like a dream or being high or something but I’ve dealt with depressive episodes for 3/4 years and for about a year I’ve felt numb and it really frustrates me because I don’t know how to feel and then I start spiralling and thinking about self harm. At the start of my “depression” (I haven’t yet been diagnosed) self harm was very much apparent and suicide has always been an escape for me, but I’ve learned to deal with it and realise how upsetting it would be for my family. I know I am loved and I have very supportive family and friends, but nothing seems to help. Some days I feel happier, but I’m ALWAYS feeling like I’m in a dream. Whereas other days I struggle to get out of bed, force myself for school, and then zone out in loud lessons, to the point where I can no longer hear and feel like I’m not there or in my body and someone has to snap me out of it. I have eczema which is not that big of a deal but I scratch when Im feeling sad or frustrated and I don’t even notice I’m doing it half the time until I start bleeding 🥺
Have any of you felt so low, so so low that nothing scares you anymore. Your nightmare can stand in front of you, stare you down and you just don’t give a shit?. So low that care is not part of you? Pls I need someone to relate too.
depression isn't a mood, you're not depressed one day and then another day yes, it's always there, you can't say ''I'm depressed TODAY'' I don't understand you lol..
raxahax at the begging of the video she mentioned that she wakes up everyday feeling like this.... Then when she stopped checking in she wasnt realizing it to this extent as often. Then today she didn’t even have to check in she just New that today specifically would be one of those days where it was to that extent.
You can be depressed on days. Some days your brain doesn't work right and nothing feels normal. She didn't say it was a mood, but you can have episodes of depression that come and go. I think it's just clinical depression that never goes away. People can feel depressed and different people can be diagnosed with depression. They can be separate.
do i want to leave a comment here ? hmmmmm. yea sure why not nobody gives a damn , they will help u , maybe not . just go for it and don’t be so obsessive over small things .
that was my thought process before typing this. is that normal ? maybe i don’t know , i’ve never talked to anyone about my problems , i just listen to theirs. this video means a lot to me because i realised i’m sad too. a lot. i never really want to do anything. it’s not really like who i used to be. i feel like someone flicked a switch and now i’m sad. a yea ago i was in a toxic friendship , she always blackmailed me with her ‘mental health issues’ i say that with quotation marks because she faked it i’m pretty sure .. yes i’m sure she did .. maybe i’m not sure but anyway she told me that if i didn’t hang out with her she would kill her self and she would self harm. i’m not friends with her anymore but i still see her in school and give her a warm smile but all i want to do is tell her how much she messed me up. one day i fell out with her. i told her that i couldn’t trust her (which i should have found out sooner with bucket fulls of red flags) and then she said that she was going to commit suicide. this hit me hard , not only because she was going to kill herself but because she blamed it on me. i found myself being roped back into that friendship again and i couldn’t bare it anymore so i finally called it off and it was really hard because we did have our good times but most were toxic and smokey , none were really fun and fresh. anyway now that i’m out of that friendship i’m very proud of myself for making the decision and i have moved on but there is this little- no sorry - massive part of my brain that always reminds me that i can’t do anything and i should stay at home and sometimes i can’t ignore it. i thought it was part of growing up and i’m only 13 but i feel like this part of me will never disappear and i will be this girl forever.
i want to get help but i can’t talk to my parents about it because they won’t understand , my friends think i’m faking it, and my cousin who i’m closest to in the world doesn’t care... or well she tells me listening to other people’s mental health problems is draining and she can’t bare it. not even for her own cousin. i’m really sorry about this but it might be healthy for me to put this out there and i would like it if people could talk to me about this because i feel drained and i need help and i know i do but i can’t find the right people .
a little sum up for the people who couldn’t be bothered to read this in detail : i’m sad a lot i feel drained and i was in a toxic friendship in which the “friend” piled all of her problems on me and blackmailed me saying if i left her then she would cut herself and one day she told me she was going to commit suicide because of me and that has stayed in my mind for a year now. i want to get help but people don’t understand and if i start to tell them then they just tell me it’s an age thing ( i’m 13) but i don’t feel like it is , i would say i’m much more mature than any of my friends and classmates , sometimes i say i should be 40 instead of 13 but anyway i just need someone to understand.
So I know I have depression but sometimes I think omg what if I’m faking it..how would I know like what if I’m over reacting and I’m going to get told that I’m lying, so yeahhh
Do you know the feeling that you really need a hug but you don't want to ask for it, because your friends would be worried so you just pretend to be okay, which leads to not getting the comforting hug you need so bad?
I hate being too good at lying about how I feel. I wish I could tell them that I really feel ugly and not good enough. When they tell me that I'm beautiful, I don't believe them. I want to believe them, I want to believe them so bad. But then I look in the mirror and my tiny confidence crumbles to pieces a disappears. I don't want to die but I don't want to live either.
I just found you and just here me out loud: I am depressed. I have tried starting a happy mindset, but just please life! Hand me something good for once. I always feel that one piece missing, in my heart. I always feel like life is an illusion, and one day I just won’t exist. I have sadly met depression at a very young age. I was in third grade and I felt like crap. I was scared, and I told my friend. I just want everyone to try to be the happiest you and just be you. I have learned that recently. 😌 I feel like I can just trust everyone here, and just be happy. Have a splendid day, ok?
What I hate the most is when I feel depressed during holidays. I've been in a low for about 2-3 weeks now and it's getting so bad. i'm basically in bed all day, i'm so fucking tired and i can't sleep during the night which is greeat. life feels so pointless right now. i wake up, feel like shit, eat something, go to bed again and after a few hours my mom comes in and complains that all i do is laying in bed. it just sucks because i just live. i wake up and the first thought i have is 'shit now i have to do that again' i have no motivation for anything and i'm really so scared that i won't be able to sleep tonight. wish me luck guys
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Replies (3)
Danny Gautama2018-08-26 15:23:31 (edited 2018-08-26 15:24:44 )
Lea Potter Hang in there Lea . You have been struggling for so long but you are still fighting. Depression is a liar . Do not believe it . You have to get up and say F Depression. This is your life . Be that change . Get up call your Doctor and tell him what’s going on . Talk to someone you trust . Celebrate the irreplaceable person you are .You have to have the will to get better . Do not let depression win . Go Volunteer or help out others and you will start to feel better . Eat foods that are high in b vitamins and healthy fats , Protein and greens . Do something that you are passionate about . Live your life like you are in charge . Depression is an unwanted guest and it needs to be kicked out .Love you . Danny
Danny wow thank you so much. It really means a lot that you took the time to read my comment and to reply. This is what I needed to hear. Thank you. I'm feeling a bit more hopeful now and I will try to get up now and do something useful. You are so right, I can't let my depression win. I'm more than this. Thank you again mate xx I hope you're doing well, take care
You should step out of yourself go help other people..learn to love yourself..there are beautiful things in this world and it is your responsibility to find them...
“Look how depressed I am.” -Dodie Clark. I feel like in this video you’re romanticizing depression. As someone who suffers from depression, I don’t like this video.
Don't take anti depressents. I've been depressed since i was 12 and I refuse to take anti depressents. 4 of my friends are on anti depressants and they have all god worse. I think the medication does something quite bad to you and you still feel depressed while on them so I try mindfulness that actually helps. Please give mindfulness a try, there is an app called Headspace that has guided meditation which really helps. Meditation is really hard to do but if you keep at it it will eventually work and it will be amazing! Better than putting chemicals in your body that either make you worse or don't help. Use your brain against your brain to help you. You can even message me and I'll help You, I'm always up for helping people because I know how it feels so I'll understand you completly :)
I hope you're well. Keep your chin up, you're doing amazing!
"Don't take medicine but use this app for meditation". You and your friends are just failing at simple task of taking the medicine properly. Same as Dodie, who drank alcohol after taking antidepressants. And then you complain how bad influence it is. Jesus Christ.
What is it you're trying to say here? Is it that medication is better for you than meditation, because if that's what you're trying to say you're dreaming.
You clearly have no clue what you're talking about and don't know one single benefit of meditation. Which is fine, a lot of people don't but don't sit and tell someone they are wrong when you have no idea what you're talking about. That's dangerous.
@Dionne Clelland I know what I am talking about. I did a lot of meditation in the past using various techniques and I know that it won't help fight with depression. At least not without proper medication. So don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. You're the one spreading fake information.
You might have done different techniques but doesn't mean you done them right or even took other mindful habits into consideration. From what you're saying it looks like you done some meditation and didn't take your time to actually sit and properly meditate. The brain is such an amazing organ, you can and will help depression with meditation, you just have to have patience. It seems you didn't have patience which is why you feel meditation won't help depression. The brain can work wonders. (Through mindfulness and meditation)
@Dionne Clelland You obviously didn't have patience to read through the antidepressant's instructions, since they are designed to help people and they indeed do their job if the one taking them actually puts his/her mind into it and reads drugs' description.
I been feeling depressed for at least 2 week now it just doesn't seem like it get better I been trying to get myself to go out and do things but it not really same like it helping
can anyone help me? i kind of understand and experience this, the blackness dodie talks about near the beginning but i don't think i have depression. i've never been diagnosed, i mildly self harmed years ago but it was barely anything terrible. and this blackness only gets triggered when things not even terribly bad, but do get in my way, and i feel low. i get the whole longing thing, and i usually get "low" over things like exams and my potential to fail, sometimes social events, the fact that i'm not good enough for a specific thing, body image issues, not really having anyone to talk to about anything, and missing my friends because i moved. sometimes i just get low for really trivial reasons. i feel like i'm easily put down by small things. so what is that? is it just common sadness? if it is, i'd feel even more pathetic for commenting. rip me
i am very depressed. I hate it when people say they are depressed and they just say oh, im so sad. i have to blah blah blah. when in reality they have no idea how hard it is to be dragged down constantly by sadness and fear, its like being in a cage that is unlocked but you cannot get out because you have trapped yourself. I feel like my friend pretends to be sad for others not to feel bad because they say they are depressed but they are not. Depression sucks. for anyone who says that you are depressed, do research on depression because you might not even be depressed.
Ferrisvfx how about you watch her for her talent and stop focusing on her outer appearance. She is gorgeous inside and out and has a incredible singing voice. It’s kinda toxic to only be around for appearances.
but aww dodie i always hope that with these videos you're getting happier because i truly want you to be happy you are such a positive influence in my life
Does anyone get it where you feel depressed and you know you're depressed but you force yourself to do things (and hate it). But then you feel bad for feeling bad because its sunny and it would be a waste of a good day. But its not a good day because everything seems dull and uncomfortable, like you're out of your element even though everything's the same. I need to know if I'm alone in this. That's how I've felt all day and I hate it. Send help
So, if I feel like this a lot should I be seeing a therapist? I mean I feel like this the majority of my life, so should I get help or... Just work my way through it? I don't know on days like this my parents just think I'm being emotional, and after watching this and realizing that, yeah, I have depression. How will I let them know that like I might actually need help for this? I don't know anymore, I'll probably just work through it so they don't have to worry about me more than they already do.
Ella Hertzenberg Obviously you don't HAVE to do anything, but it certainly helps. I've been seeing a therapist for over a year now, and I didn't go to therapy for a specific diagnosis and haven't been diagosed with anything. I judt felt like it would improve my "life quality" (if that's the right term) It helps you understand yourself on a much deeper level and provides a certain sense of comfort that you can't get from anything else. You can confide in them about anything as they don't know anyone you might talk about so they are able to analyse the situation objectively and they always ask the right questions as it is their job. Coming to the convincing your parents however, that is slightly trickier, but still possible. I think the most important thing is expressing how normal therapy is and how even high functioning people who don't have any sort of mental illness can go to therapist for stress relief and such. There's a lot of stigma around therapy so make sure that they understand that not just severely ill and "crazy" a nonsensical but common word that others tend to associate with therapy seek psychological counseling. I'm 16, and at the beginning my mum was pretty sceptical about whether simple talking would solve my problems and she felt hurt because she thought I didn't trust her enough to talk about my issues with her. Making sure that your parents understand therapy isn't a chat with someone that you pay a lot of money for is crucial. Therapists are trained professionals, so they can make you comprehend and reveal things about yourself using several techniques that a mundane person cannot. It is also important to mention that there's no shame in going to therapy. You don't have to take medication, or have a proper diagnosis to need some guidance. I'm sure your parents will understand how it'll benefit you and allow you to try it out if you genuinely believe that it'll help and you express yourself honestly. Sorry for the length of this message, hope this helps xx
And just a quick addition, if things aren't seriously destroying your life or impairing your ability to function, you don't absolutely have to go to therapy so please go if you want to and believe that it can help you becoming a better person, not because you feel obliged to. 😊😊😊
Irmak Genc Thank you so much! You cleared up a lot of things for me, I'll talk to them about it and see what they think I should do. Once again, thank you!
Depression comes naturally your wife should understand you cant help it neither can she try to understand eachother and remember its not in your hand and if you can afford go to therapy
I am not sure if I am depressed. To be really honest - and I know this sounds like complete bullshit and probably is but anyways - I somehow want to be depressed. I don't know why. To identify my problems? To get attention? To have an excuse for my laziness? I don't know.
This "WHEEO" at 3:52 really confuses me... I have no idea where it's coming from... anyway - we all love you so much! And we'll always listen and will always be here for you! xx
FireAndFlame dodie has spoken before about how youtube is her outlet for how she is feeling. She wants to share to make people feel less alone and to make herself feel better. No human would pretend to be depressed.
@Georgia She shares shit because she demands attention. YouTube is her outlet? Don't forget about snapchat, twitter and instagram. She's the definition of oversharing. First words in this video: "Look how depressed I am." - highlighting to make people feel sorry about her. She's so depressed that she puts efford into making this movie and lies about it in the movie itself.
FireAndFlame she has made a full video about over sharing on social media. She explains it in why she shares so much
Also she speaks about her mental health journey a lot and has actually shown her journey with the different approaches she has taken to combat it including drugs and therapy. She’s not going to be lying about all that. No one would carry on that narrative for so long
@Georgia In one video she literally said that she needs her depression for her "art". She admitted it. Ask anyone with depression if they feel like they need it for some reason. No one wants that. Yet she wants and makes her persona all about it. Which person with depression acts like her?
FireAndFlame Yes, no one with depression wants it, obviously! She doesn’t want it, she just uses it for her art, there’s a big difference. It’s not like someone with depression can just go ‘you know what, I need to be depressed so I can use this emotion’ it’s more like ‘I’m feeling this way and I can’t help it but I can use this emotion for something’ Btw, going back to why she is making a video on this here is a direct quote from the oversharing video: It’s easier to talk to a camera. It’s like I wanna open up. I am talking and getting it out there technically to people but I’m talking to myself. I can’t see anyone’s reaction.
@DaMihiMortem LOTS of musicians and artists alike have used their bad mental state to create art. Songs, books, paintings, etc. She's not the only one.
It can get better and you can find yourself healed from that illness(that image can be not possible to even see, I understand I remembered this exact thought and I couldn't in any way belive or imagine that I could wake up in calm and safety). It's worth this unfair hard work to be healed and function and feel loved.
My worst mistake was turning to drugs. Legal drugs, but drugs no less. Drugs that make you dissociate... and I have a dissociative disorder. These drugs have since brought to the surface a panic disorder I haven’t experienced in years, and social anxiety which I didn’t think I experienced (I have GAD). I personally think some people need drugs when they’re depressed to be able to feel again, just so it motivates them to continue with the battle. I just managed to get myself addicted. And of course, professionals only want to treat the addiction first, and not the underlying issues
I am crying everything like every single thing. I can't find my pants i sit and cry, i can't pratice drawing,dance or music (which i love them so much) i sit and cry. My mom usually doesn't see me crying cause i don't want to make her upset. I can't talk with people anymore. This year was my first year in high school but i chouldn't feel like having friends at all. I am so fucking lonley. I didn't talk with any friend of mine for whole holiday. I stared to go fine art school which i work my ass of for geting there but i can't feel happy. I feel tired all the time i can't finish the things i stared to make. I feel scared and dirty. My family says "What happend your light in your eyes please don't be like this." İt's not like i wanted to be like this! Sometimes i just want to go as far i can so i can be alone. I feel like idiot cause i think that i am like this cause i just want attention. No one see how i actually feel. At nights i can't sleep cause i am thinking so much,when i almost sleep my hearts strats beat like crazy and my body starts to falter then i wake up. I stop trying to be happy. When people asks me like "What is the happiest moment in your life?' I can't anwser. Am i going to be ok? İs this normal?
Depression is a widespread condition, affecting millions of people, Christians and non-Christians alike. Those suffering from depression can experience intense feelings of sadness, anger, hopelessness, fatigue, and a variety of other symptoms. They may begin to feel useless and even suicidal, losing interest in things and people that they once enjoyed. Depression is often triggered by life circumstances, such as a loss of job, death of a loved one, divorce, or psychological problems such as abuse or low self-esteem.
The Bible tells us to be filled with joy and praise (Philippians 4:4; Romans 15:11), so God apparently intends for us all to live joyful lives. This is not easy for someone suffering from situational depression, but it can be remedied through God’s gifts of prayer, Bible study and application, support groups, fellowship among believers, confession, forgiveness, and counseling. We must make the conscious effort to not be absorbed in ourselves, but to turn our efforts outward. Feelings of depression can often be solved when those suffering with depression move the focus from themselves to Christ and others.
Clinical depression is a physical condition that must be diagnosed by a physician. It may not be caused by unfortunate life circumstances, nor can the symptoms be alleviated by one’s own will. Contrary to what some in the Christian community believe, clinical depression is not always caused by sin. Depression can sometimes be caused by a physical disorder that needs to be treated with medication and/or counseling. Of course, God is able to cure any disease or disorder. However, in some cases, seeing a doctor for depression is no different than seeing a doctor for an injury.
There are some things that those who suffer from depression can do to alleviate their anxiety. They should make sure that they are staying in the Word, even when they do not feel like it. Emotions can lead us astray, but God’s Word stands firm and unchanging. We must maintain strong faith in God and hold even more tightly to Him when we undergo trials and temptations. The Bible tells us that God will never allow temptations into our lives that are too much for us to handle (1 Corinthians 10:13). Although being depressed is not a sin, one is still accountable for the response to the affliction, including getting the professional help that is needed. “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name” (Hebrews 13:15).
Gian Giorgio Trissino Both I and J were used interchangeably by scribes to express the sound of both the vowel and the consonant. It wasn't until 1524 when Gian Giorgio Trissino, an Italian Renaissance grammarian known as the father of the letter J, made a clear distinction between the two sounds.
Hah I don't feel anything anymore no emotions like happiness or stress but my therapist says it's depression but I'm not sad or anything and she is going to talk to some other therapists so idk but because of this I have been able to stand up for myself with out feeling scared. There's a bonus. Everything gets better I know :)
I remember people telling me what is wrong with you are you depressed??? Are you sad??? Why are you always worried and low?? And I always used to deny it and say no!!!! I m happy, I am positive , I am fine. Today I realise I am not! I need help but I don't have the money, I am an Indian, Indian parents don't understand this illness they think I am just sad and stressed and will be fine, so they won't pay for treatment, I am scared!! I don't want to quit one day lay dead in bed and make my dad regret not paying attention to me. I hate him for not paying attention but I don't want him to blame him when I am gone. I still wish I am fine but I am clearly not.
I don’t think many people are truly predisposed to depression, at least not as many as doctors tell us. I don’t believe your chemicals become unbalanced for no reason. I spent years thinking there was something wrong with my brain. Then I realised there were lifestyle factors that came into play. Being inside, away from natural light all day will depress you. Sitting/lying around all day will depress you. Being alone will depress you. How can you not overthink yourself into existential anxiety in that situation? It’s normal. Having low self esteem and self-defeating, fatalistic thought patterns will depress you. I know it’s hard to overcome all these habits when you’re depressed, but the thing is, they further contribute to your depression. We’re social creatures whose happy chemicals do a little dance when we’re in the sun, socialising, being active, being present, keeping busy, and being kind to ourselves. Diet is another thing that comes into play. Eating lots of sweets and carbs is depressing. Most of us don’t eat enough good fats. I wish doctors didn’t lie to us and say “oh some people are just born this way. Here’s an SSRI” without warning you of all the side effects these drugs often cause. I’m not opposed to antidepressants but I think people should at least try to be aware of their lifestyle habits before dumping drugs into their system for an artificial mood boost. I don’t know you and your story, and I’m not necessarily referencing you when I say all this. Just anyone who might be reading
Tamires Almeida Im pretty sure they're Sugar Snap Peas! They're really nice with some salt or in a stir fry. :) EDIT; Sorry they are not actually that, they look like them though haha. She says what they are near the end, some sort of bean
you have to try them!!! they're so good! especially with a little salt sprinkled over them!!! you eat the beans inside the pod!! they serve them at most japanese restaurants & have some in the frozen section of trader joes!
They're edamame. It's a type of bean, and not sugar snap peas though they do look similar. The difference is mainly that you eat them cooked, and that they are not as sweet. (In fact they are typically served with salt to advance the non sweet taste) they are also not part of the pea family. Another difference is that you cannot eat the skin of an edamame bean, where you can on a sugar snap pea. You should try them with a bit of salt after being boiled, very tasty indeed. You pop the individual kernels out of the skin. (: also, if you wish to try sugar snap peas you can eat the skin as well. Some parts are a bit stringy. Happy pea and bean eating!
I know exactly how this feels. I go through these at this level about once or twice a year. It's usually almost as bad throughout the year though... At least I've started therapy and medication which helped me a ton. I think you described these episodes really well. Thank you Dodie. <3
Wow. I’ve never been able to explain what my depression feels like until now. It’s so weird and awesome to know that somebody out there feels nearly exactly the same way you feel. Makes you feel like you aren’t alone.. thank you for this. I woke up very depressed today, but this video eased it up a little bit.
I watch this on every one of my bad days and I want to thank you for making it because this is how I feel and it's described so well. On some days even knowing you're understood helps even if it's the smallest bit of feeling better, even if you're a -1 on the scale of 1-10 of happiness, even if I get to a 0, it helps. It's still bad but slightly better and that's small victories. I don't know if I explained this well tho. Most importantly - thank you so so much, Dodie.
I needed this video so much. I feel alone in my feelings when I get depressed, this is helping me feel not so alone. Thank you. This perfectly describes everything i feel
I can express how good it feels to watch something so honest. To feel like I can be honest. I’ve recently been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and trying to figure it out has been so hard
I relate to this a lot! It's so hard to explain it to other people, they're always like don't be sad, everything is ok, you'll be fine, look at everything you have, do something that cheers you up, etc etc and they don't get it so finding people that feel the same way it's a good thing! thanks for sharing!
I love this so much. I shouldn't say that but I do. When you mentioned the longing that never get satisfied, I really just had a moment of such deep relating to that sentence.
Whenever i try to explain what depression feels like to me i cant. And its really hard to get people who dont get it to get it. This video explained everything perfectly. idk you just said everything i try to say but cant quite find the words to. Thank you so much for making this video and i really hope you have less days like this
Im so glad you shared this, I think in this point I can really sympathize with you (not only in that but whatever). Thank you for the stuff you do. Bye
Personally, the hardest part of dealing with depression is watching my family trying their best to cheer me up while I just stand there completely empty and numb
Thank for being you I watch this whenever I'm feeling just as depressed as you in this video and it makes me laugh cause I relate way to much I love you
damn, I wish I was able to snack on healthy stuff like that when I’m feeling depressed. I usually end up binging and purging multiple times in a row. fun times
I originally watched this video when you first put it out and I didn't quite grasp it because I wasn't in a depressed sort of state at the time. I have depression and have for years. For me, it's one of those things where, when you're not depressed you don't know or really remeber how it feels. Then all at once it can hit you. Like you, it comes and goes and lately it's been pretty heavy and gross. Finding this video just opened my eyes and made me realize, it's truly not just me. Everything you said and described is exactly how I feel and how I get when I'm depressed. Thank you for sharing Doddie, I wish I could meet you and hug you and just have a deep conversation with you.
This is precious... i love u for making this bcuz this is how I feel some days (I never knew why tho), this clears things up so much and I love u so much
The way I describe depression (in my experience) is like being unwillingly inside a box and then after a few hours I just noticed I'm outside it and I'm free. Then the next day I wake up back inside the box and I have to wait an unspecific timer for me to miraculously go outside.
For some reason her voice and accent made me feel so happy and comfortable. And she literally didn’t even try and this video was still perfect I’m confused
I can relate to the longing part so much. I love performing and my dream is to make movies. But feeling hopless leaves me unable to even start working on anything really. I feel like I need things, but it feels like I will never get them. It used to feel temporary, but lately it's been my normal. And this is terryfing. I feel numb and just watch everything, I watch life pass me by. And the possibility of ruining my future because of that makes me also anxious. My dream is to get into acting/film school and I don't feel like I have the power in me to even try. This is so annoying. Thank you for sharing that.
ugh i relate to all of this so much...esp when you talked about derealization feeling like being blind. whenever im dissociated theres that feeling of not actually seeing anything thats in front of you! horrible sensation, like you can never really Get At whats going on, you cant look hard enough to SEE
I feel this 100% but I’m not diagnosed so I don’t feel like I can say I am depressed or depersonalized which only makes me feel worse. On top of that my friends bash me when I’m not happy and that just sinks me down more and it’s just all no bueno but hey at least I have your videos which help a t o n, thank you for making these💖
This is amazing. Also everyone look up Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). It numbs you and blocks you from your own emotions, and emotions are what make you feel alive, more connected to yourself/others/the world, what makes the world seem more real and "vivid". I've struggled with both CEN and various dissociative disorders including derealization / depersonalization. The world seems distant, foggy, life is pointless, and people can seem like hallow machines. Can I connect with them? Are they even real? Is this world real? I don't feel connected to anything, not even my own sense of self (I've changed something major about my identity about 5 times in the past year). CEN is at the root of a lot of people's issues, even if you feel you had a happy childhood. It can be extremely subtle, thus the more sensitive you are by nature the more susceptible you are to developing CEN. It's about receiving a lack of emotions growing up, not about active, direct abuse. But emotional neglect rewires, distorts, and rots your mind and soul. It can be healed though, it just can sometimes be hard to heal what we don't know is wrong. Emotional neglect/trauma is at the root so many problems in society.
i watch this every time i get a depressive/ anxiety episode and idk dodie putting into words EXACTLY what im feeling?! like i feel so so weird feeling these things (rotting! my brain really does feel rotting) i feel even more down bc im like wtf even are you but then i watch this and just knowing that im not the only one, as sad as it is that anybody else has to go through this, it just makes it... somehow more... medical? i guess? idk it just makes me feel more normal and sometimes i need this. also secrets for the mad always makes me cry when im like this so dodie just THANK YOU
I love you. I know you will never read this comment but I love you. I truly eternally love you, Dodie. You are my idol and inspiration. I love you I love you I love you
I feel exactly the same!!! Today was a good day and I hope that tomorrow will be good too, but to be honest: I have no idea if I will be able to go to school.....I hope so....
Greetings from Austria and than you for this Video! 😘
One thing I caught myself feeling lately is the fear of not being depressed anymore. Which is weird and ridiculous. But when you have depression for so long you kinda get yourself lost in it, like, what is the mental illness and what is just part of my personality, y'know? And despite depression being awfull and I optimistically treating it, I wonder: who am I gonna be without it?
I went to the doctor today and she confirmed that I am depressed. I feel like something has been validated for me but at the same time I'm thinking "shit, now there's no way around it. I have something really wrong with me." It is really not a good feeling. I'm going to a psychiatrist soon to talk to me and see about anti-depressants, but I just feel like shit.
So.... the way you explained the feeling of being depressed is honestly a bit scary to me. I feel like I've experienced the same things. Nothing seems real and all you can think of is the past when you had fun and then miss those times and want to be there...And long for those times to be real again, but they can't... I truly love you and your videos.... you are a person I look up to. You deserve far more than the most fancy-est teas in the world and the most joyous times. Keep trying to do things that make you happy. You have thousands of people who support and care about you. You do great, and you can't stop us from saying it.
May your days not always have a raincloud above them, and let some shine brighter than the sun.
I am drunk watching this and... the only thing that's hitting me is the fact that you've editted this to be beautiful still.... this is you... but it's still editted to be the better doddie... and I love it... Even though you are MESSED UP ... you still are able to fix it... to make a video about it... I'd love to do that one day...
"I'll go outside and I'll just feel hopeless. And like well this is shit. I don't want to be out when it's nice and feel nothing. I'll go back in!" Mood 2018 -Naila
I have depression, and a lot of the time I feel like I can almost relax, but there’s this thing, like this small gap that I always feel in my chest, and the fact that it’s always there means that I’m never happy. That’s the only way I can describe this, and still nobody gets it
For all of you guys saying that's not "real depression" please take into consideration that depression is different for every single person. Please don't judge someone else's depression based on your own. Just shhh
I didn’t have a ride to school today so I couldn’t go. It’s okay though because I really needed a break because I woke up and knew I was depressed. I’m very glad I got to have a free day and I’m not sure why but watching this makes me feel better when I feel like this.
I feel like you on your off day is me on a normal day. Which is kinda sad but I do try to find something to pick me up or help me feel better. Today wasn't one of those days so I searched for this video to see what it's like from another point of view. But even this wasn't the help needed. I have called hotlines and police stations looking for more help other than "suicide is not the answer" I have tried that and have come to that realization on my own but I feel down all the time because I am constantly getting picked on in my family. I am 27 and feel like I am not going to go anywhere or do anything important because I have only known this role of being the scapegoat or the "problem". All in all thank you for showing me another point of view.
This sounds rly dumb but whenever I’m feeling vry depressed and shitty I always just hear dodie’s voice when she’s like “GHHHH IM SO DEPRESSDDDD” in this vid and tbh same
I don't feel like living when I'm depressed.. no food! no sleep! no self-love! I just stay in my bed doing nthg and crying with no reason sometimes.. words can't describe more so have a nice day y'all
almost everyday I get these 'attacks' is what I call them...but I'm so unsure of what they are, I could get them at the most random times I just feel numb I feel like someone just pressed the 'shut down' button I feel so alone and like I don't wanna do anything sometimes...actually a lot of times I get them at school & when people ask me why I'm so sad I tell them "I'm fine, just a little tired" because I don't know how to explain it it's so hard, and this comment probably makes no sense but as I said I don't know how to explain it. (I know no one has the time to read this, but it just feels a bit better to put my feelings into words.)
when you have depression sometimes you feel like you have an empty soul .. there is noting you can do and there is noting to cheer you up .. the only way for it to move on no matter what (copping with it)l
What fucks me up about depression is the constant overthinking, in those days I just want my brain to be stupid, to not thinking about anything but of course it is impossible.
But depression isn't something that just comes and goes. You said you're depressed "today" but it doesn't work that way. Depression lasts at least 2 solid weeks. Otherwise it is just sadness.
I only got out of bed at 7h30PM today and my anxiety as at an all-time high. Blegh... and I'm bein forced to spend the weekend away from home, sharing a house with people I don't even freaking know. Kill me now.
Although I can’t relate to this 100% I came here for a reason Sometimes my mind just makes up a perfect storm and when something minor that isn’t even that bad happens to me, I loose it. All the chemicals and emotions along with the fear and anxiety, I just go down into a black hole and I can’t get out one thought will lead to another until I pull out the worst in me and I go into a depressive phase where I just think everything is my fault and my life doesn’t have a purpose and nothing seems okay.
Oh hey I'm back again. I think I figured something out; I don't have depression, because on the days where I'm depressed there is a cause for it and I know why I feel this way.
I’m back not cause I’m depressed but because I wanted to know what kind of beans she was eating cause they looked really good in this vid. I don’t rlly get depressed anymore thank god. This is character development lol
it's fucking sad im back here, a year later, still depressed. maybe a little more depressed this time. but she put it into words. its comforting to know someone else feels the same way that i do. i truly love dodie.
I don't think i have depression or anxiety or any mental illnes like this. I have a mixture of a few of them though. There are days when i feel very close to what you describe here. One day i had a really bad day when this mixed with anxiety and stress and i spent hours crying feeling i am useless, worthless, know nothing, can't do anything properly, have no skills at anything. Some days i feel perfectly normal. No sunshine any rainbows but also no storms and wind. Just a day. Calm. Then i have confusing days. I go through so many moodswings i don't even know who i am at the end of the day. Usually when i wake up feeling really good, give it an hour or two and i'll be trying not to cry without a reason. I have a few blocks(as i call them) in my mind. Those are things that i just try to avoid at any cost. For example, i start crying easily without a slight reason. The thing is, that i absolutely can't stand crying in front of people. That's a block fot me. My family knows it and we've made a rule that they won't mention when they see i'm about to cry. That really helps me keep the tears inside and feel less worthles. But when someone mentions it i just go into hysteria and start screaming at them. I have little to no control over this. The crying has been a big problem for me. The thing is anytime i feel slightly uncomfortable or i don't understand something i become super desperate which leads to tears. This is preventing me from getting angry. I always start crying out of desperation before i get to feel anger. The problem is, everybody needs to vent anger sometimes. I don't get to. I'm terrified it's just building up in me and i'm a timed bomb now. I belive that this might be why i break into hysterical screaming.
Btw i recomend everyone, even those who feel good to write down something like i did. Like a summary of your mental state. It really helps you put things into perspective because you need to find a way to understanding them before you can put it into words that other people would understand. Do not remind yourself of your mental state every day. Just once sum it up and it might help you find a way to cope with it or understand yourself (which makes you feel better)
anna lena sometimes people have depressive episodes Not everyone's depression is the same Sometimes with depressions, some days are a lot worse than others
this made me cry, I'm 12 and I feel like I'm slowly getting depression, and I'm scared like hell, I should be enjoying my fricking childhood, yet I get panic attacks and cry myself to sleep, it sucks it really sucks. my best friend is parting away because she found another friend who (funnily enough was our enemy and is now my bully) my ex best friend is wanting to become my friends again and I'm having social problems. my teacher chose me as a main character of a play and I can't say my lines whitout stuttering even when I'm alone let alone in a stage. I've been fighting with my mom a lot and ah I hate life a lot now.
Dalia Ahmed try to keep going, try to enjoy little things even if it doesn't work most of the time I think a lot that while I want something to be over already, I don't want my time to rush away as well. If you find something you enjoy for yourself between the horrible things, I think it helps. Honestly I can see how overwhelming your problems are. You can do it and they will pass, there will be new things that make life hard but you will get better at handling them until there will be no more tears. I discovered that most of my nights crying were because I valued opinions of others about me more than my own opinion. They still occur but the realization helped me? I know every situation is different, but maybe it will help you too
Please seek some help - go to a counselor at school or your doctor. Depression is very common and there are tools available to you to help you get through this difficult time! Being your age can really suck, but as a 20 year old who was depressed as a young teen I just want I express how important it is that you not attempt to go through any of this alone. It won't work and it's not worth it. Find a healthy therapeutic outlet and talk to a professional. Best of luck
Hi sweetheart! Don't be afraid, I was there when I was your age too. Deep breath, stay calm... think about every little things that make life so beautiful. Sun is out, you are able to walk, to talk, to see. You are here. Feel blessed for that. If you feel so terrible, talk to your parents, go to a terapist... it's really useful. My terapist saved me life! I'm 27 now, I didn't have an easy and fricking childhood or teenage years BUT I'm who I am today because of that, and I'm grateful for that too. A big hug to you! Seek for help if you need it!
it'll be okay! i know it doesn't seem like that now, but push on through and there will be light. I was in your situation at that age, not to devalue your emotions but puberty is dang hard. So don't be scared that you have depression, you're obviously going through a very tough time right now and your body and mind is reacting accordingly. Remember there is no evidence that this will last! Maybe talk to your teacher about the play if you can, there is no shame in being uncomfortable on stage! They are there to help you, as is your mom even though you've been fighting. Please try and talk to someone about how you're feeling and keep going my love xxx
please go and see a doctor about this: I had depression a while back and I just didn't realise that it wasn't normal to constantly feel that way so I didn't get the help I needed... after I went to the doctors and had an action plan, everything immediately started getting better. if you don't feel 100%, you deserve to get help to feel great again!!x
"I don't think I can tell my parents either, thanks peeps. you're the best but my parents are judgemental af"
STOP, dont think like this, never, ever, dont, stop, right now. Please talk to your parents and try to get a therapist or some kind of help, for the love of god. Btw this is coming from a 16 year old that experienced a "closet" (hidden) depression from ages 9 to 15, suicidal at 10, So I believe I know a thing or two about hidding depression, it is NEVER,ever a good idea to try and deal with a mental illness yourself (not saying you have one) or any type of mental stress, you're not a trained professional in dealing with these kind of problem nor anyone online is trust worthy to listen to 100%, including myself you can choose to not trust what I am saying, however if you do, then please tell your parents, becuase if only I spoke at age 9 my depression wouldn't have lasted 6 years, because I didn't speak it lasted to long, I was my own "therapist" and caused more damage than actually helping myself for about 5 years, seeing a professional help will greatly help you, so please, seek help, talk to your parents, explain them you're problem.
Hey darling, remember that it might be just your hormones coming up as you're going into puberty. But it's good if you'd talk to someone. Cause at your age it's hard to know where a grumpy teen mood ends and depression starts. And well, talking always helps:) Stay strong!
Dalia Ahmed a lot of young people are experiencing depression and anxiety and thst is including me. Im eleven and i feel like giving up but theres a lot of people there for you and just think positive. good luck!
The number one thing to remember is that you haven't even come close to starting life, there is so much left in life. I'm 21 and I haven't started life yet.
Dalia Ahmed I was like you when I was your age and honestly not much has changed since for me but I can tell you that it's normal for kids around your age to get depressed. you're not alone. Find friends that make you happy and motivate you to be the best version of yourself. Don't get caught up in toxic environments because you'll regret it later.
i'm 14 and i've been just like that for 2 years. i've realized that it has been easier to not have social interactions with people when you are feeling depressed. experiment with it and you will find a thing to do that will make it slightly easier.
Dalia Ahmed Hey there, sweetie. It sounds like your panic attacks are more connected to anxiety. What do you think about getting ahead of your issues and going to get some professional help? Maybe you can speak with your school counselor? If you don't really like how your session goes, don't give up. Find ANOTHER counselor. Ask for a recommendation from a teacher or your parents.
If you feel like you're going somewhere you don't want to go emotionally, you can stop that journey and turn it towards a different direction. YOU have that power. All you have to do is know how to use it. Good luck!
when i was 13 i got depressed 4 real and i basically finished junior high school depressed. i know there are bad, dark, sad, awful disgusting days where you feel like nothing is ever gonna get better, i´ve been there, i was there for two years. but things do change. i'm 16 now and looking back i can really see that all that shit that i was so frightened about,,, it literally means nothing now. it's very hard going through depression when you are so young, and yes it feels like you are wasting your time, like it is running out and in the future your childhood memories will make you want to throw up. but i can assure you, and though it sounds kinda cheesy, the best is yet to come, things get better, and someday you will notice that the sad is gone, and it no longer is part of your body and your mind and your soul, and you will laugh more, and you'll do things that will make you feel like you are here for a reason. i didn't believe in this stuff, i really used to deny this thought of me being okay. but time can cure some stuff, and i really hope you pee the sadness away very soon, focus on the good things, and maybe you think there are none, but there are!!!! maybe hidden! but they'll come!!!! okay okayyy you'll be fine, i love you and i want you to get better.
Dalia Ahmed same here...I'm 13 and am siverely bullied. I have anxiety attacks and it's so scary. I'm going to counselling and therapy and stuff. I feel dead inside. I'm losing all hope and u just don't know anymore
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Ava Williams2017-03-10 20:29:42 (edited 2017-03-10 23:34:32 )
Dalia Ahmed (or anyone else who is young, depressed, and wants help please read this whole thing is long and it sounds sad at first, but not at the end. I really want to help) I can understand how you feel. I am 15 years old and I struggle with depression and anxiety. A lot of people I have talked to about depression simply call it "teenage angst". They don't realize though that I've felt this way since I was 9 and I am officially diagnosed with it. My dad is a doctor he knows I had symptoms and that depression is very common. So know that yes, you are very young to feel this way, but other people have felt the same way at the same age. Also, at the age of 12, your social life starts to change dramatically. I've lost friends and gained new friends. But know that if someone decides to hurt you emotional or physically in any way, that they are not worth your time. People make mistakes, their mistake was leaving you. If you feel lost and like nobody supports your or feels the same way, know that your have worth and are not alone on this journey. The first thing you need to do is push yourself to find someone you are comfortable talking to, then ASK FOR HELP. Even if it's not depression and it actually is just hormones, ask someone for advice on just how to handle properly. Every adult has been a teenager before and can relate. But If you feel like you are depressed you need to fix it. Its scary. But I asked for help and everything is so much better than I thought it would ever be. PLEASE REMEMER: You are important. you are supported. please find help because it WILL help. And know that you can get through this. There is know cure for depression, but that doesn't mean that you don't have the power to fight it. You are loved, supported, and not alone. Stay alive and don't hurt yourself. People care. I care.That was long but I've learned to live life happy since I was 9 and I hope this helps anyone who reads this. : )
dont worry youre not getting depression its just bc youre going into the teenager state and your hormones are messing up your way of looking at things in life dont worry almost the exact same thing happened to me when i was about 13 and i wouldnt cry i ould just lie on my bed throughout the night every night because i didnt really feel like closing my eyes
thank you so much for the people above, I know it will get better and I know none of it will matter in a few months and such, but in the present I feel so shitty, I try to think and. be like okay listen you'll get better, get your stuff together.
I kinda felt like this at your age and I have only one advice: tell someone. When I was younger I felt bad because of everything and would also cry to my sleep and feel terrible everyday, but I would lie to people and say I was okay. And doing this messed me up so much, today I just can't talk to people, because I got used to hiding things. So talk. Tell your friends, your parents, siblings (if you have any), your teacher, anyone. Just don't shut it down by keeping it to yourself.
i am a miserable slytherin kind of sounds like me around that age. never went to a doctor to check wether I actually have depression (it wouldn't be too odd, my brother actually has some kind of depression. He doesn't talk about it so I don't know what kind but he's seeing a therapist for it) but I honestly feel like it got better. maybe it was just hormones? maybe I was in a bad situation and just felt really alone? (I've never been close to friends and family) just stick through it. don't panic about missing out on things!! you'we still at the beginning of your teens, you're not wasting your life. just keep calm and it's gonna be okay
I remember when I was twelve, I had just switched schools, so I'd lost all my old friends and was struggling to make new ones. I had three friends total, but I didn't like them very much back then, because they were always fighting and we didn't fit in with the rest of the class. Due to this, I couldn't fall asleep at night because I kept myself up with obsessive compulsive behaviour (I've never been officially diagnosed with OCD, but that's the best way I can describe it) and I would often start shaking heavily. It got to a point where I cried at least once a week and I felt terrible almost all the time. I was so scared that I'd never be happy again.
But then I went to a therapist, I worked through that obsessive compulsive behaviour and now it doesn't bother me anymore. :) I also have quite a large group of friends now and we never fight with each other, we usually praise each other behind each other's backs. So don't worry, you'll definitely be happy again! I can't tell whether you have depression, but even if you do, you definitely won't feel like this forever, okay? I would advise you to see a therapist if you aren't seeing one yet, because whether you have depression or not, that can be so helpful, especially when you're also struggling with panic attacks.
i am a miserable slytherin Aw this honestly describes exactly how I felt at around 12-13 (I'm turning 15 in the beginning of April). I remember I would cry myself to sleep and in the shower I would collapse on the floor and just shatter. I had moved around a lot as a kid plus was homeschooled so I lost a lot of friends so I was incredibly painfully lonely. My stomach hurt because I just wanted a friend. And I didn't (still don't tbh) have the best relationship with my mom either). I hated myself I hated my life and I was cast as the lead in my first play since I was maybe 8 and would have panic attacks every day before rehearsal. It hurts. It's like being stabbed in chest over and over again with your own mind. But listen to me right now... it's been about a year since the last time I felt like that because of my mental health. I've had relapses of course, which is normal, but I don't cry myself to sleep because I hate myself. I went to this theatre camp and I made so many amazing wonderful friends that I text to this day. And although I wasn't the lead this time, I managed to stand on that stage and successfully immerse myself in my character. Because you'd think being the lead in a play is trying to get everything perfectly, but it's not. If you mess up your lines, no one else knows. For all they know, you did that on purpose. What matters is that you keep going and do what your character would do. It's the same with real life. No one knows if you mess up ok because you were perfectly cast in your role for life. If you believe in a director, whether that's a God or the universe or anything, you need to trust it because the director always knows what they're doing. I'm doing my third play since that first one with panic attacks, and although I'm not the lead, I am a main character. I don't cry or panic anymore with every rehearsal. Quite the opposite actually. I leave that rehearsal with the biggest smile on my face while I dance and sing to the songs in the play. Trust me when I say it gets better. You won't feel this way forever. I'll be supporting you through all of that. You are good enough. Your feelings are valid and real. You don't deserve those feelings. But you're strong and brave for dealing with them. You'll get through.
Keep fighting I know it's not easy but it will be worth it <3 I've suffered from depression you just have to keep going. Get help if you need to, it's okay to ask for help! Keep fighting <3
i am a miserable slytherin yeh okay, therapists help. talking to people helps . I'm 12 too, but I fortunately don't suffer from depression. however, I do know the effect it has on people. trust me, instead of self-diagnosing yourself, get professional help
I understand that it might not be depression that I'm going through now, but I've noticed that about a few months ago I would just feel overwhelming sadness for a couple of hours and then it just goes away every once in a while and now it happens more often
hey, that must suck and i feel you from experience. i aint no therapist, but all i can say is keep it objective. dont let yourself feel like you are slowly digging yourself into a hole, because the further you dig the less you can see. i know this sounds kinda cheesy and futile, but believe me when i say it works. my hole was about 5 years deep, and i'm fourteen, but the euphoria i felt when i learnt to change my perspective is something everyone should feel one day. :))
i am a miserable slytherin okay but i'm 12 too and i feel exactly the same. i've been feeling like this for a while. it's just a sudden sadness and a feeling of not wanting to do anything, not seeing the point of it. it probably is something about changes and shit, but it is really overwhelming. just, know that you're not alone going through this. let's just hope it goes away as soon as possible. and yeah, get as much help as possible, don't got through this alone.
Almost the same thing happened to me in 6th grade. My two best friends started hanging out without me and i felt alone. I'm not gonna try and give you advice bc idk the whole situation but when i started feeling depressed i didn't get help and everything in my life suffered. I totally shut down, I wouldn't go anywhere, post anything, my grades dropped. Thankfully, my mom cared enough to notice and get me diagnosed. It didn't make me completely better but i made new friends, and got everything back on track. It does get better. its only been 4 years but im happy where i am.
(i am a miserable slytherin) hey!! it's okay! you're only twelve! 😊 I had this exact same problem when I was twelve and now I'm 16 and believe me, whatever it is that you're going through won't last a long time like you might think it will!! talk to the friend who wants to be your friend again. Don't avoid them! If they really care about you, they'll do something about that bully of yours 😊 chin up
Well, I'm kinda through this at the moment. They're days where I just feel like I don't matter and there's no point for me to be here but the way I cope is by just escaping into another by watching TV shows, anime, youtube, reading books, manga literally any form of escapism. Maybe that would work for you. I've also made some great friends due to these things as well.
i am so sorry :( i really really hope everything turns up and remember that you are cared for. (p.s. i love your profile pic :) scott the noodle is amazing)
Keep your head up, you won't know what happen, that moment when you break down is when depression win. I know it's hard, my fifteen ia a mess cause depresion. So does every ages that been through depressed. You can't get up and the thing is i believe in you. You will see a whole new you after this. Just prove those people that make you down, they are all wrong, you're precious person (yeah, i'm not know you but you know you know that yourself is precious)
another update, I talked with my best friend, she explained that she felt like I didn't care for her and felt hurt. I also talked to my bully I told her please stop and stuff and she explained that she was jealous that I've got friends and she's lonely and yada yada. I'm trying to fix things and so far its working slightly. the sadness still blows over sometimes, but I'm better. thank you everyone for your advice and help! ❤
I'm rarely depressed, but when I am, I'm tired, hungry, tired, sad, aching in my stomach and chest, and I don't have motivation to do anything that I find fun. Also, Im tired when I'm depressed. One day of depression caused me to find reading not very fun. Whyy. Mine is more of a physical depression than a mental depression...
I completly agree in what or how she isexplaining this feeling of depression but i think that she just shouldnt only talk about how it feel bad but show or do something to cope with it and help others to get out of that state..i make videos for people who dont know what it is and want to learn in how to live a live happier with a good mental health and also my videos are for those who struggle with any mental health issue.... through vlogs i can make u smile or through a talking video i can teach u something that i have learned .... sooo keep it up but use your voice to help people not unly understand but to get off a depression. loves and kisses
when I feel like I am sad I take off my pants and get under a blanket eat ice cream and if that dose not work get in the shower and cry then get out dress but don’t put your pants on
GO ON DRUGS! I'm amazed it's taken you so long. I'm on Sertraline and honest to god I've never felt better and I totally understand the whole feeling blind thing- and drugs sort that out entirely!!! You will look back on these videos and laugh, honestly!
How on earth can you say that. Oh my god. I have ADHD. And I hate my drugs. It's like living in a shell. I think of something but my body does something else. I've stopped taking drugs and they're better. My brother has depression and he hates the fact he has to take drugs in the morning. NEVER say useless shit like thay
to those saying drugs don't do anything: stop. Drugs may be Dodie's (or others reading these comments!) answer, as they were mine. If they don't work, then that is fine, but THEY MIGHT. don't try and put people off trying an important avenue of treatment x
yes!! i agree. they can definitely be super helpful but not necessarily. they're not a cure, but if they can help you get through everyday life, that's a fantastic thing!
Meds helped me at some point, then didn't. So, yeah, some people need meds, some don't. Some meds work on certain people, some don't. In my experience, meds don't do all the work. They help to a certain point, but you always have to work to sort out your stuff.
Cassie Leigh James yea I'm on Zoloft(?i think) and so far it has sorta been helping at least more than the other pills I've had but regardless u should try meds because even though it doesn't fix everything but it makes things more manageable:,)
I'm on sertraline 125mg and propanolol 40mg, they are helping me out to a point but I'm still really struggling with leaving my house and my feelings and basic function. What dosage are you on?
Ah see, Sertraline had the opposite effect. It was horrible and made everything worse, and I functioned even less. Works for some, deffffinitely doesn't work for others :P It's always worth a trial run I suppose. I imagine when it does work it's great.
Don't dismiss them entirely though. There's SO MANY individual and combos of drugs and everyone's chemistry is different. Don't let your bad experience deter you.
I was worried you meant drugs like cocaine and stuff, thankfully you didn't mean that. xD
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lol its judith2017-03-29 18:37:13 (edited 2017-03-29 18:50:06 )
can someone help me? first of all, im 11, i dont know if this is to do with hormones or something but i need help
i dont think the way im feeling is normal, if i do anything wrong or bad, i literally beat myself up for it, i feel so bad and guilty if i get, or do something wrong. today its not only that, some days i feel completely empty, nothing but sadness, my favorite bands like panic! at the disco and mcr dont help, paramore and all time low dont help, fall out boy and the brobecks dont help, neither do yellowcard and blink-182, not even twenty one pilots. it feels like im going on and on and on in my own thoughts and it wont stop, i feel like i never do anything right and im a waste of a life, i feel like if i never existed id never would have to feel this way and if i were nothingness, i wouldnt have emotions so i couldnt be sad. im ugly, im self-consious and im even embarrassed of my sexuality: bi. theres no point in living life, going to school, going to university, getting a job and then dying, eventually we'll all be dead and we'll all be forgotten. i cant have normal conversations with people without regretting everything i say, because i think i come off as i think everything is about me, even online, and im always chosen before people. looking up to people and having idols is hard, because i realise that they're better than me in every single aspect and are talented enough to lead a successful life, which i feel i cant do, i have no hobbies that im good at - im a disgraceful ukulele player (even after 6 months) according to my 15 year old brother, who is doing music for gcse's and is in a band, im a bad artist - turns out it stresses me even more because i cant do anything right, school is bad, i cant cook, i cant play sports because my co-ordination is bad and i have asthma, i cant dance and my anxiety is so bad i could never perform infront of people, i cant act, because im too shy, i cant even look after my hamsters properly. i dont want to live a wasted life, i dont want to be boring. but here i am, sitting infront of a computer screen in search of something that can make me feel better. my head hurts all the time because all i do is overthink and i think and think and think and i cant get myself out of the hole i have dug myself into. im so confused and sad all the time and i question reality and if this is all in my head and it never ever stops. smiling feels wrong and takes effort and im trapped inside my head and i cant just sit back and relax and relapse again because im trying so desperately hard to get out of my mind. i feel so spaced out from everything and anything and it doesnt even seem like my body belongs to me anymore, it feels like im just controlling it and its like a numb feeling but so terrifying. like dodie described, i feel like im longing for something, but im not getting it, my head feels black and it feels very physical. nothing feels real i dont even feel things, things that usually make me laugh just makes me.. i dont even know.. i feel bored but like i deserve that, but what did i do wrong? everything. Remember that time where you fucked up so badly!!! why does it all come back when i feel as shit as this why cant i just not feel emptiness while my head is about to burst and just enjoy the tiny and insignificant life im living i dont have the courage to talk to my family about this, i probably never will, they take depression as sadness because everyone uses it as a daily word and if i was depressed my parents would just say to ''be happy' but how the fuck am i supposed to be happy when my mind wants me to not be
honestly, its worrying how i can relate to dodie, its even more worrying how i have so much more to say, worrying how i cant put this into words
if anyone reads it this far, thankyou, i apologise for wasting your time on something that you'll forget about in the next 24 hours
I just feel so lost. But I never acknowledge it because I feel like if I say I’m depressed, it’s disrespectful to people who are going through worse situations. I don’t have any real world problems. My family is pretty ok. My friends are pretty ok. But I feel like there isn’t a point in anything. I have to give an important exam in a month and I am not prepared, but I don’t even want to be prepared because what is the point. I can’t get anything done. I’m a slightly above average person who has slightly above average achievements and that’s all my life will ever be.
I have bad days most of the time but sometimes I have a good day and I feel like I shouldn’t be able to have those good days I feel guilty for having a good day and I have no idea why
This is EXACTLY how I feel and it sucks so much. I absolutely hate it, but hating it isn’t going to help. My parents won’t take me to a therapist and I’ve considered hurting myself before. I don’t want to die, but I just want to disappear sometimes. Sometimes I just feel so empty and I feel like nothing matters. It is such a horrible feeling and I wish so much that it would go away. Anyone dealing with depression and/or any other mental disorder, please talk to a trusted adult to get help and don’t make the same mistakes I’m making. You’re amazing!! ❤️
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Sophie Leanne2017-03-10 15:42:46 (edited 2017-03-10 16:21:08 )
I'm depressed today, it's my birthday and literally no one gives a fuck. I even woke up and said "oh it's my birthday" it just doesn't feel the same anymore, people don't even acknowledge the fact that it's my birthday anymore. My mum has this shit job that works her from 4:30am-8:30pm so i didn't even see her when i woke up, like i use too. I went to school and i had no one to go around with, my friends were not there for me and i just want to cry. Also this girl who i had fallen out with, decided to ignore me and block me out. but today, she wishes me a happy birthday. i should be happy and thankful, but I'm not... because of the fact she ignored me all this time but then wishes me a happy birthday. I hate my life and i have no idea what I'm doing anymore, people ask me what are you going to do after sixth form and i really haven't got a clue. I feel like I'm just here for the ride. Anyways rant over.
Don't worry my dear! I have no idea what going through depression is like, so I don't know if any of this will be at all helpful, BUT STAY POSITIVE! There are people out there who are there for you and do love you, including random strangers who message you back on the internet!! You are a unique wild beautiful human being and you should be proud of that! Life's rough and is always going to be a bumpy ride, and you're never for sure gonna know what's going to happen next. But keep with it, take everyday as a challenge to show love to others and to notice when others are giving it. You're not always going to be happy, but you can always make the effort to love yourself and love others. I have no idea where I'm going with this, but I'm praying for you and I hope your day turns around, you beautiful human you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! P.S. none of my friends said anything about my past birthday either, but it was still a wonderful day, just celebrate you! I am so stinking bad at this xP
Happy Birthday! I understand what you mean, I remember I was with my family at Christmas and all I could think about was suicide. You're not alone! I hope you have a better birthday!!!
Happy birthday !! though it won't seems like it at the time every cloud has a silver lining. I believe things can get better if you keep looking forward
sophie leanne Happy birthday dear <3 I now how you feel. I'm felling literally the same a great amount of time. If you ever feel like shit dodie's community will be there for you. I promise. <33333
I feel you. It's my birthday too, eventhough it started pretty good, when my friends came over this afternoon someone made a bad joke that reminded me of this senslessness of life and my depression just hit me again. Birthdays are normal days, they pass by and there will be "another day of sun". Not today, maybe not tomorrow, but there will be happy days, where you see a sense in life. So Happy Birthday, if this means anything to you ♥
Sophie Leanne2017-03-10 21:21:57 (edited 2017-03-10 23:47:09 )
guys i can't thank you enough, really. you've all made me feel loved, i find it amazing how people I've never met or even talked too can make me so happy. Thank you so much.
sophie leanne happy birthday! i really wish you an incredible life. please please please treat yourself, and do not be hard on yourself. there really is light at the end of the tunnel.
sophie leanne Happy birthday! I know how tuff it can be when people ignore you and you don't feel valued🙁 but just know you are loved by someone out there even if you don't know them💖🎂🎊
sophie leanne this is late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY. i want you to know that i give a fuck and so do many other people, as you can see from all these wishes. i hope you're feeling better and that things look up for you. love you.
hey; hAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🎉🎈🎂🍾 even tho it seems you've had a crap day just.. take some time to just enjoy yourself? cuz i bet you're AMAZING. i know it sucks because i've been there - i've been in almost the exact situation. but time will pass and things will get better and you'll find people who care about you and appreciate you for the amazing being that you are. and until thr days get better, it doesn't have to suck. make sure you take time to just do whatever. treat yourself. stay in bed all day watching youtube. eat 4 pieces of cake. this time in your life will shape you into an incredible person. just make sure you take moments to just.. experience the journey and have some down days but also have some up days where you just do what you like. idk. this is what i'm learning. i genuinely hope your year gets better and by your next birthday things will be very different in a good way. xxx
sophie leanne happy birthday!! I know you feel this happened to me to but know that there's always someone who cares sometimes it someone small like the old lady you said Hi to today never forget and keep fighting!!
My birthday is in 2 days and I'm depressed. I dont want to wake up that day because I know its gonna suck and Im gonna be reminded of how excited I was before on my past birthdays. I dno.
sophie leanne it's a few days late, but you know what? Birthdays are the most important day of your life, and next birthday, just take the time so not worry about the future or the past or anything stressful, just focus on your wellbeing. Also, happy belated birthday, here's a little emoji cake, sorry it's not the real thing, but I don't know where you live. 🎂. Blow you the candles, hope your wish comes true
I scream this when I'm driving and listening to vessel because it's true and there's nothing we can do about it for the most part! Plus screaming is somewhat therapeutic for me b/c part of my depression comes from feeling invisible and not heard so yeah screaming helps even if no one can hear it
Oh yeah I'm not alone in this!!! My best friend{who is also depressed} and I just really want to find a forest nearby where we can just go and scream as loud as we want without freaking people out
Xquavius Ellison Exactly! Thank you! Why is it as human beings, we expect that other parts of our body will need help at some point but never our brain? Stomach hurts, take some medicine, etc. But yet we expect our brains to run for years without help at all?? That makes no sense to me. We need to end the stigma. It's okay to need help for our brains too.
Milla Grace mental illnesses should not be romanticized they are an illness, ill = sick; our brains are sick...but that is okay and we can fight through it
Oh fuck.. I don't want to be that guy but I pretty much think I'm depressed. I also know that there will be happy times but I also know that after them there will be bad times again. I procrastinate and not just on the average level even though I know that it will only make me feel worse. I just watch random things while only being half-present until I hit this breaking point and somehow can put myself to work. But when working I panic about all the stuff I procrastinate and think of fictional scenarios where I am in school and my teacher holds a high horse speech again, I tell her to cut it short because I want to only sit again on my chair and stop thinking about my classmates thinking how idiotic my behaviour is (I know it but in that moment I don't care) and I trigger exactly that. That happens in school and I don't know how to end my thoughts when working or just doing anything. I'm not suicidal, it isn't really helping, we are all going to die soon enough and speeding it up does nothing. Something like this happens in a cycle with different lengths and I would like to hear your stories and maybe tips on how to concentrate. This video in general is a gold mine and is already helping!
I haven’t been diagnosed by a doctor but i’ve taken test by depression and anxiety websites and they have all come back with mild depression i’m not gonna lie i’m happy at school but when i get home i just feel useless i don’t do sports cause i get anxiety i sit in my room alone watching videos then i’m in the shower and want to cry but the tears don’t want to come i make my self think i’m doing it for attention that i’m just a faker and i’m making up everything i just don’t want to do it anymore i just get sick off myself
two months ago i was diagnosed with anxiety..it was bothering me for maybe 4/5 years and I was quiet,I wasn't trying to find help.and then, in December it got serious and I started having panick attacks.at first I had them once a month, than 3 times a month, than a 6 times a month and than at least once a week.i am actually doing a test for depression in two days and I'm going to a psychiatrist for the first time so that they can give some medicine and I'm scared..I feel kinda alone and lonely because there's a lot of people that don't believe me!and there's one girl in my class that also has anxiety and panick attacks so at first we were really good friends bcs we are both new at the school we're going to.but..i didn't really get to know her very well.sadly, she is that mean girl that every class has..she talks lies about me, how I pretend I have anxiety and panick attack just because she is jealous or what idk?and she is so sure I am faking even tho my psychologist diagnosed me and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't send me to a psychiatrist if I didn't have anxiety...and now I'm scared to go back to school..idk what to do..
some people are just like that. I was the new kid a lot in elementary and I kind of got used to it so I was lucky because now I'm in high school and it doesn't bother me as much as it would if I had not learned to just let it go. nobody else knows what goes through your head, so they can NOT decide whether or not your anxiety is "fake". this girl may have been getting more attention due to people wanting to help her with her anxiety and now you have it too so it takes away from her "spotlight". I think the best thing you can do is just forget what she says, laugh about how she doesn't know what shes talking about, and make sure not to stoop to her level by talking trash about her. it might be hard now, but I promise it will get easier with time.
+Kaitlyn M thank you so much for your advise.it is REALLY hard for me to not speak trash about her and to stay quiet but i'm doing good haha i don't know if you're religious but there's one quote, one sentence that Jesus said when he was on the Cross and it goes something like this "God, please forgive them, they don't know what they're doing.". and it helps me..it makes me realise that she and the other classmates who are brainwashed by her (because she has to make sure I don't get any support haha) don't know me actually and instead of talking to me and asking me if that's true they chose to be her minions.but that's okay, they chose that and I'm not going to judge bcs just like they don't know me, I don't know them. I have my really good friends, the bestest friend you could ever find and my family and I believe that's all I need..it's not like they're necessary in my life :)
Hi, I have been wary of saying this so pls don't hate. I have a very happy life right now and I'm so grateful and lucky. How do I not get depression in future, because rn it seems like it's inevitable and there's no cause. I'm scared. I want to stay happy. Help pls.
I'm glad that you're happy right now, that is really great and I hope you keep that positivity throughout your life. Depression is a mental illness, which cannot really be prevented; you may start to have it in the future, and you may not. 1/5 people have some sort of mental illness, so the odds are that you probably won't. I hope that you stay happy!
Hello, in my opinion and experience, there are some things that you can do that have a high risk of messing up your equilibrium either all at once, or gradually, and other things you can do that can help you maintain it it. I can't speak to chemical depression and purely chemical induced states, but some experiences can change you in ways you might not want. The high risk things I would watch out for mainly revolve around relationships. Here's the advice:
1. Don't continue seeing anyone that you don't have an intuitively great gut feeling about. There is a reason for intuition, and your mind usually takes a while to catch up. Trust it. What you do can hurt others or hurt yourself if you are not careful. There are consequences that can last lifelong. Your intuition is the best tool for helping you to judge an uncertain situation.
2. If someone says, "trust me", it is quite possible that you shouldn't. Trust is earned, not given because someone asks for it. Trust yourself and what your intuition is telling you instead.
3. know/learn about yourself - spend some time to write down what your goals and boundaries are - boundaries so that you know what is ok and not ok with you. If you define them in advance and make them a priority, it will be harder for people to hurt you as they try to get things in life that they want for themselves. For goals, if you can figure out what it is that you want - e.g. go to a good school, stay happy, become an artist, anything, then you can make steps to achieve it. I think that setting and achieving goals of things that you truly want, deep down inside of you, will make you feel like you are on track with your destiny. I think if people feel like they are not living up to their potential, it is easy to feel sad, and this can compound and become more serious over time.
4. Be careful about drugs and drinking, or spending time with people that have a lifestyle that goes in this direction..drugs each have different qualities, and some can damage your mind. If your mind is damaged, your thinking and life will be altered too.
So all that I am saying is that bad-mediocre relationships and substances are the high risk things. To minimize risk to the maximum extent, avoid them - there are so many beautiful ways to spend time when you are happy. Enjoy the subtleties and build on the positive. It is much, much easier to build on happiness than to try to get it back once you have lost it.
I have way more advice but this is already a novel. I hope something in here might help you or someone. :) Best!
Hey I don't know if you will still read this, but I still wanted to give you this. You will never really be able to prevent yourself from getting a mental illness, but what you can do is to find our what you really need. Always, and I mean always, know what you need in certain situations. If what you do doesn't fit what you'll need you will be unhappy. So always take care of yourself. Remeber. You always have to care for yourself first. It might seem selfish, but you also have to see that you cannot help other if you can't help yourself. So always try to do what you need in that moment. :)
the best way to avoid become depressed is to treat your body, mind and self with the utmost respect. get a good amount of sleep, exercise and eat well, and try to tell yourself you deserve good things. i know lack of confidence is something we all struggle with, and my constant berating of myself and fear of uncertainty has lead to a pretty heavy two years of anxiety. basically treat yourself with care. also, an important part of being mentally healthy is not worrying about the future (i should know lmao). don't worry about becoming depressed in the future. you're not depressed now, and that's what matters, that's all you need to focus on--how you're feeling now. don't look to the future and worry about all the what ifs, take it from me, it only fucks you up more. learning to be content in where you are in the present moment is what will help you :)
Literally every time i’m depressed I watch this and it really helps to know i’m not alone ❤️ It motivates me to keep living - thanks for sharing dodie ❤️
Thank you so much for this, it's exactly what I needed. Never understood what or why I was feeling this and thought that I was the only one. So thank you Dodie, you truly are a magnificent human being.
Thank you for making this. Thank you for making something that I can go back to when I feel like what I feel isn't real. Thank you for creating a little place in the video where I don't feel so alone. Just...thank you.
I’ve watched this video at least about 30 times now. I watch it whenever I’m having a depressed day and it helps so much. I think I’ve watched it enough to already know what you’re going to say in the next moment, but I still come back because it gives me a sense of familiarity and a sense of being empathized with. So thank you dodie for explaining your feelings on this stuff
Dodie, thank you for making this video. What you're going through isn't pleasant but it's really helpful to hear that what I'm feeling be validated. Sometimes you just need to hear that you're not alone in how alone you feel
Ive felt exactly like this a lot recently. I've felt alone in what I'm going through. Relating to something this much is like finding a new friend with the same hobbies as you. It's not something happy exactly, but just the feeling of not being alone is helpful beyond what I can explain. I've found self-recognition through this. This video was like a good therapy session. Thank you.
I feel so much respect for you, dear dodie. It kills me to see you hurting. Thank you for being so open and so honest, some of us can relate to this more than you think, and personally, by watching your videos I've began to understand things about me that weren't completely clear. So thanks for your help... Big hug for you❤
i’m so glad that i discovered your channel. your authenticity is so important and helpful. i find so much comfort in listening to others talk about how they’re feeling because suddenly i’m not the only person that feels this way. thank you for being vulnerable for us. thank you
I'm so glad that there is someone else besides me on this Earth that makes lots of face expressions while talking. THANK GOD! THANK YOU DODIE FOR EXISTING! <3
It's so great that you can talk about it in such a objective and sort of "up" way. I'm glad you're better now(judging by your instagram feed). Keep trying to do things that bring you a feeling of contentment and if you ever feel like it's to much, it is okay to look for help. There's plenty of people out there for you. Including us!
It's amazing how you can put the right word to this very peculiar feeling. Anyway, thanks for this video, it's making more aware that I'm not the only one in this situation, more listening to my body and its response to my failures, and ... it's actually motivating me to make a song about it (because whynot). Ps : I've just discovered your channel and what you do is amazing. Keep going, you're great ;)
I found your videos today and have watched about 20 of them then this came up... It's the most"true"video I've watched in a long time. I've only recently started to learn about depression (after a recent back operation) and your videos were seriously helpful.
Best way I can explain it is that I desperately wish I could be a fly on the wall to watch someone like you for a week and know that the way I sometimes feel IS OK and know OTHER PEOPLE GO THROUGH IT TOO so your regular videos will now be a staple in my mental healthcare plan....
This is a rambling way to just say thank you! Really... Thank you!
Thank you so so so much for this video I watch it every day that I feel depressed and it always makes me feel better . I’ve seen this video a total of probably 20 times at least and I love every second of it and of you❤️❤️❤️❤️
i relate so hard. ive had the roughest months of my life lately but im still here. treading water even though i dont want to. may 2018 give us all a break.
I didn't know this is how depression is. I've had moments like this lately and i keep denying myself that i am depressed and that i'm just lonely but yeah, this is exactly what i've been feeling lately lol
My heart died a bit when Dodie said 'please don't let me be depressed for tour'. But for some reason it made me feel grateful for the fact that I would never know what she is going through
This is so real and very relatable and everything you said about trying to be happy to push through the depressed state. It’s horrible I know. Taking pills is not something I wanted to do ever. But after going through three crazy horrible things in three months I had to because I was literally going crazy in my mind. And it was the best thing I ever did. I’m on sertraline tablets and I’ve never been more thankful for them, I feel so much better. I hate being depressed and not finding anything fun.. I am so glad you made this video but it’s finally shown the real side to it that no one sees. Thank you. 💗💗
My big thing with depression is my body feeling very heavy. Especially my feet and head. The head part, you explained. I got these really high quality boots this weekend. They're very waterproof and warm which is great because when I walk to the bus for school my feet aren't wet and I'm not miserable. These boots are Thicc though, so I'm kind of always dragging my feet and my steps are clompy and I always trip on stairs. But I've had days like that in normal shoes, too. If anyone out there has worn new heavy boots that's kind of what depression feels like except you can take off the boots whenever you like
I thought I knew what depression was i thought it was extreme like crying and wanting to die and then I realised I get the same feeling as Dodie once or twice a week which is quite worrying tbh
Very relatable. 1:10 - 2:08 was just on point. But it kinda makes me feel a bit better and less "insane" when I make myself clear that this is just my head messing around with me.
I'm a native Spanish speaker, I'm also a fan of mental health and those things... Weird, uh? I love your videos, and I love how you describe how things work out in your body and mind.
Ok but in all seriousness now tho even tho I’m super late and no one will see this but still, u r not alone Dodie we are all here for you and we love you so much. Be happy for us and live your happy life and live good okay? We love you so much! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Now watching this I wonder how many people are actually depressed. You explained it really well and to the people who are sad and say “I’m depressed” aren’t really most of the time. Dodie is just me most days tbh. This video is me
This. THIS. THIS. How has she perfectly described it? This is exactly how I feel like, 90% of the time. Which is shit but whatever. And this was perfect.
i remember watching this like eight months ago and being amazed at how accurately i related. but now looking back on watching this I can't find what bit i related to? which is good i'm so glad i don't feel this way (every day) anymore
what's changed: i now know what SSRI's are and have gone back to camhs (after literally just refusing to go to group therapy 2 years ago) because other certain stuff (not depression) has gotten worse and i'm now more mature about it and realise i need to talk to people without sugar-coating it and refusing help. i'm glad my mental state depression wise has improved.
like I have a different way of thinking about things now which are more mature because THIS THING has been a long term thing that i've just gotten so fed up of having panic attacks over and crying over
Depression feels like an Outerbody experience...almost like a movie...it's like your soul talks to you on a daily like why are you feeling like this...and then your brain captures moments when you were at peace ....depression man smh
I feel like this a lot and everyone always just tells me “you’re lazy” or “it’s all in your head”. Sometimes people just don’t understand until they go through it themselves
This may kill the whole point of advocacy and if everyone did it, it would create a ton of embittered unkind receptionists, but if you are desperate to see that specialist, you should be able to ask who you were referred from your primary care give because it may actually be someone specific. I live in Canada with universal health care and work with folks who are low-income, typically have addictions and concurrent health issues, so when I get someone who is like, I cannot wait, I call the health provider who made the referral, ask for the person the referral was made to, and while as a private citizen I can't say whether they will give the contact information out, from just their name you may be able to sus out the contact deats and go ahead with contacting them directly and do the thing of being like, I really need support. Now, all of this may be insurmountable when super depressed or even far to vulberable when not, so possibly having someone else in your life you trust advocating for you may just go a ways. Like, you be there to be like hey, my representative here will talk to you and I give that consent, step out of the room, and then the other person can take over and be like we were wondering where they are in the referral process, if there is an estimation of wait time, and then whatever the response, give a little summary of the need to see someone sooner if it feels too far away. Hell, the person that calls on your behalf, just call em' you advocate. The person on the other line doesn't have to know they are your aunt or some random person. Sometimes even referrals are lost and that is a part of the delay. Just happened today with a client of mine that was referred 3 weeks prior and she now has an appointment for next week (partially because the receptionist feels probably guilty about the referral being missed).
I always feel like this, especially at school due to my Social Anxiety. I constantly have to ask for reassurance from my friends. I also have OCD where I get horrible intrusive and paranoid thoughts. Sometimes when I ask my friends if they hate me they get rude and annoyed but I can't help it...
I just had a friend leave me because they saw me as narcissistic, I can't help having to constantly ask if my friends like me. It's not my fault I cry when everyone else is talking to eachother and nobody is talking to me. I'm not lazy because I decide to miss school from a panic attack. I'm not pathetic if I can't take part in an event after I've had an anxiety attack about how many people are going to be there.
I always feel so pressured in social situations, recently another friend has organized us in a team for a challenge in my business class. We get given £10 and keep whatever profit we get. I find it extremely difficult to say 'No' to things so I agreed. My friend arranged that we go out together to buy tons of cake supplies and set up a stall in town and at school. I tried explaining that I couldn't do it but they got angry at me and said that I wasn't helping at all. I can't help being so scared to leave the house, I don't want to put myself through the countless hours of stress from over worrying about what to wear, who to tell, how to get to the location, what to say, what to make, what to sell, how to act and how to even cope.
I'm sorry if this is unreadable, I think that it's good to unload and rant.
As a psychologist who has never had depression before, I realize that I cannot fully understand what depression is like, but I try very hard to understand what someone is going through. I don't try to solve the problem (I know that can be very frustrating to someone who is depresssed), I just sit down and listen to them and talk to them. I am not a therapist, but I give hugs to anyone who wants them and I try to make people as comfortable as I can. Always seek to understand rather than fix, and remember you never have to apologize for how you feel. :) <3
Dodie I'm like you. I enjoy life and all but depression though. I might be all energized and happy one day and then the day after I'm a depressed piece of shit. Honestly I don't know anymore.
laughing so hard you could fall over when anything even slightly funny happened. being so sad inside but trying so hard to compensate by showing the world how happy you are. depression was never an on and off thing, but some days hurt less than others. I'm only praying for the day this weight lifts off of all of us for good, and we achieve happiness once and for all.
Being depressed is very new to me. I just feel like I’m existing. I don’t wanna do anything. I don’t care about my school work, the cleanliness of my room, the opinions of my parents. The only thing that kinda makes me feel better is working myself to death.
I woke up feeling like this. I kept hitting the snooze button for 4 hours. My parents literally had to drag me out of bed at 2:30 pm to take a shower and eat. I’m stuck on my couch not wanting to talk to anyone thinking just like how dodie was thinking here. I deal with depersonalization episodes and that’s happening today as well. I know these days occur. I deal with thyroid problems, anxiety, depression. I’m medicated for all of them. Even though I feel good most of the time now, these days happen. Just gotta wait for the good times to return.
A tip for derealisation/depersonalisation: my therapist taught me to ground myself every time I get caught up in that awful mindset, so I would focus on an object far away and take in exactly how it looks, describing it like I was writing it in a story; then I imagine how it would feel if I was to be holding the object, the temperature, the surface, is it rough or smooth? Then imagine crushing/scratching/generally interacting with the object and think about how that would sound; imagine lifting the object to your nose and giving that guy a whiff, what does it smell like? is it pleasant or offensive? I usually skipped over taste because I would be staring at a leaf or something, but you can imagine tasting the object if you really want. I’m now disassociation free and feeling connected to life and experiencing how I should be :)
Tbh iv gotten so much better because of you Dodie Doodle 💙 If you ever need to talk I’m here even though I’m just one more fan who would love to talk to you in any way i can we all seriously care about you
i remember watching this with a normal functioning head when i was younger and i never understood this video. now, with my more fucked up head i understand this so much...
my therapist calls my depression "an escape addict" I want to live in bed and not wake up from sleep but I don't want to die. my depression too is physical and I get tension in my head and head aches.sometimes I feel that no one understands and when they don't I get mad and angry dodie please respond
Yep, me. I don't have depersonalisation but when I wake up and my depression kicks in I don't want to leave my bed. But I have to, because I'm twelve and go to school. So, when I go to school I can't focus in my lessons properly. It's not like I'm sad or angry, but just plain emotionless.
Some days when I get so severely depressed I lie in bed all day and cry and cry and cry. My depression can get so bad at times that I can’t even go to school nor get out of bed. :(
And im here for like 7 days not feeling depressed and say "This don't feel right." I'm not ready to feel fine for a straight 7 days because once you feel depressed again itll feel more bad. This is a record for not feeling depressed. Like literally 7 days without it doesn't feel so right.
this actually tells a lot about her condition, like the feeling of being spaced out and not feeling awake etc.
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night mime2017-12-30 16:01:56 (edited 2017-12-30 16:02:47 )
I can relate a lot, i have good days and bad days too, luckily today is a good day and I'm gonna sleep around my friends house which i haven't done in forever since I've been venting for the past year, it's so annoying since last year on new years eve i was supposed to have a good time with my family but i ended up feeling anxious and depressed and just went to my room and hid, hopefully i won't be the same this year aha 😅😊
Last year I think I suffered from depression. I never got diagnosed since I never got help. The doctor asked. I hesitated. Then I lied. I sometimes remember something my dad told me that I guess is true. "You might be upset now but its okay. Youll be bubbly and happy in the morning" theres always this bliss when you first wake up. No matter what goes wrong, there is always a bit of sweetness. That sweet will go sour someday, so you find another place to feel home, where the fruit are fresh and there is new, sweeter berries. Its okay if something goes sour. Just find a new sweet.
Wanting to go back to who you used to be... Feeling like someone stole a part of you And wondering if you will ever get it back again. I totally that. Thought I was the only one.
Oh dodie. I just wanted to check up on you! I hope you are at your best today! I’m a little late to this vid. But is sure do hope you are feeling better my friend. (and idol but You know)
there was a ad with horses and a guy trying hard and not getting sleep before this vid and it actually helped me with my sleep and made my depression a lil less worse
I am always open if you wanna share tips or just talk about this rare condition I also suffer from ♥️ never forget you still can live a happy life with it
I don’t know what I have. Sometimes I just am struck with me not feeling happiness. I’ll do something and feel not good. Or sometimes One little thing will go wrong and I’ll start hyperventilating and freaking out for no reason and I don’t know why. It doesn’t help that I’m surrounded by negativity either. Or that some of my friends don’t really hang out with me at my house. They would start talking to someone else in particular and start laughing and wheezing and shouting and having fun without realizing that I’m there too. I don’t like to talk about my feelings with other people because they won’t understand. All they’ll do is hug me and say it was something they did and that they would try to do better. It makes me not happy when that happens too me. I already know that once I tell someone something it would go all around school from people telling other people. This probably really boring I’m sorry but I just don’t know what to do or label my self with anything because I feel like it would be too dramatic.
Normally I'm lucky cause when it kicks in I'm at home but the other day I was at school and one class I was fine then the next one my teacher was late so I just sat on the ground against the wall my friends asking what was wrong and I just didn't wanna answer and then the rest of the day I felt like that, it was great!!!! ( not ) Anyway... if anyone read this, have a nice life!
I fucking cried. I’m in the middle of a depressive episode. You did and said everything I did... I’m so scared that i will never be okay again. & the hope I once had is gone and im so mad that people say I matter! If I do, then why aren’t they there for me when I had screamed for help? Oh I should snap out of it, right? Cos it’s all in my head? All that don’t let get to your head and be fucking strong bullshit. I seeked help and tried fighting for my own life, and to hear people say that I should be EVEN more stronger than that is fucking insulting.
Then the world says: What a negative attitude you have! Simply pull yourself together. Don't you know only you have the power to change this behaviour? Decide that you're not going to be like this! It's a choice! Change your point of view. Breathe! Think positive! Go to the gym! Don't you know it's all in your head? And always remember, other people have it worse.
aaaaaaaaah this is so right. This is what it feels like.
I mean in the summer, sometimes I just manage to live in the moment... for like an hour... you know when there are games at the pool that require your full attention and all that. And then, suddenly, when it stops, everything comes back. I remember very well my cousin telling me "but you were having so much fun earlier" yeah but now it's not earlier anymore. And as soon as the cheering voices stopped the music came back into my head, so loud that I had to put in my earphones and listen to it. The music is generally one of the many depressing songs I know by heart. These days I've gone back to the Downward Spiral. Actually today was A Warm Place...
I think I've also reached a new level this year, not being able to get out of bed at times. Like literally unable to get up, provided I'm able to move at all. It's not nice. Not nice at all.
But yeah, I've gone into this periodic thing where every... I don't know how long (trying to figure out actually, but I need more time to confirm that I'm right) it'll come back. I guess it's not so much of a natural state, more like of what happens half the time. Well it used to be the normal state. Now I've managed to get it further away. I guess. Now that I think about it it's always present in the back of my mind. But I see it more as weather. Maybe cause the name I put on it was the fog (you know, they advise you to do that, like Churchill called his depression his black dog...). Maybe it's cause I've grown to hate strong winds cause they've been associated too many times with things going wrong and this led me to consider them the bringers of depression. But... it's just... waves. I don't know.
I realise no one's going to read this, it's a comment on Youtube and it's way too long but I'll write it anyways.
Thanks for sharing this Dodie, it's nice to realise I'm not that alone in feeling the way I do.
Got more of an anger problem though. Tendency to just go mad after a while when things annoy me. Like I can keep watching shows if they really bore me when I'm depressed cause afterwards they'll just start pissing me off and I'll just want to smash my laptop (or whatever I'm watching the show on) on the wall or throw it out the window. Funny it doesn't do it so much with games though. Those I just lose all energy and cannot play and stop playing. Probably has to do with the difference between passively watching a show against actively playing.
But I do tend to become aggressive when I'm depressed and I'm starting to wonder if there's anything against that.
But I agree with you that when it comes in social situations, it's bad. It tends to happen a lot to me at parties (last year it was almost all the time) and I just shut down and sit in a corner and it gets worse and I just have to leave before I become way too touchy and aggressive or just depressed beyond measure... yeah. Memories of not happy times coming back.
I don't know why this happen, it's weird. And I've done psychology. But I don't have a clue how the fuck this works. How some situations can just turn so bad and everything just feels wrong and boring and annoying...
Hope there'll be a way to make this better one day :/
Somehow I came back to this vid. I was gonna comment, I saw my old comment, I decided to answer to it. So I guess this is an update? Eh.I somehow got 3 likes on the original comment but no one will read this anyways, right?
Yeah. So. SSRI. Been there, done that. Or should I say am there doing that? Escitalopram. Works ok. That anger I realised I mentioned? It's now manageable. Maybe it's also related to my bereavement/grief trauma-like thing that was still very fresh 8 months ago. Maybe I finally moved passed the second stage.
But yeah. Spaced out. Well I don't know if it's gotten worse or if I've just been noticing it more, if it's that I've gone back to uni and the lack of sleep came back contrary to this summer (and last term where I almost never had 9 am lectures) but… it's definitely here. And I'm not sure if it was gradual since a while back or if it started in September when I got on SSRI but it's been kinda around the same time… but then again, so have a lot of things.
Yeah. I know you've tried AD, Dodie, you mentioned it in the derealisation video and you've also mentioned the… magnetic field thing (I can't remember the name). Wish it was easier for me to get access to those but French living in Aberdeen all the way up north in Scotland with no easy access to transport to get to Edinburgh if even some appointment was found there and anyways no time to do so and nothing in my little village in the middle of nowhere back home in France with virtually inexistant public transport and only a month or two at best spent home… well yeah. That's shit.
There's uni counselling. You can't take more than 4 sessions per term. So that's nice. Maybe I'll talk to my GP next term and try to get a therapist if this keeps going on. Idk. Maybe that'd eventually help? Eh.
At least I've got a couple friends to talk to. So that's nice.
I hope that you've been doing better.
I don't know why I'm posting that.
I guess it's to serve as a reminder. Maybe in a couple years I'll stumble upon these and remember. A bit like a journal. But for everyone to see. For once I'm ok with that.
Wow, way to devalue every 14 year old female’s problems. I know they are usually around the age where they feel like shit, but saying that is really demotivating to 14 year old suffering from depression and anxiety or literally anything else. This probably isn’t even a big deal to most people, but I’ve heard too many times that I’m just a 14 year old girl that is just begging for attention. Just my two cents
It’s interesting to find out there’s people out there who aren’t depressed every day, and only depressed once in a while. I’ve been continuously depressed everyday, never stops. Had no idea some people with depression don’t experience it every day.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression and have been taking medication for two years now and I experience days where I am depressed and other days when I am more positive or not depressed at all. Maybe seeing a therapist or taking medicine might help because it most certainly helped me. And also, that's because there are different kinds of depression. Mental Illness is a fascinating topic that I think more people should talk about. I do hope you feel better and get help 💞
Like I want to hang out with friends but I don't want to talk to anyone and I'm hungry but I don't see a point in eating when I'm gonna die anyone someday and like I wanna read but I don't wanna finish the book like I feel so dull and nothing is making me laugh and I just can't do anything right now
Weethetniet its not bad , but it's better to be professionally diagnosed. If you are pessimistic on purpose for attention, and call yourself depressed , that's not cool. And other times you might have another mental illness that's not depression
Weethetniet it’s not necessarily a bad thing but it creates a lot of problems for people who are professionally diagnosed with certain types of depression. Stereotypes created by young, immature people who are convinced they are "depressed" can caused others to not take these topics seriously.
I haven’t been diagnosed with depression, because I have been diagnosed with social anxiety and I’m terrified to go get diagnosed. I’m pretty sure I have it. I self harm. I hate myself. Most days I can’t get out of bed. And much much more.
Hunter Adams no, it's not. Depression it's the capibilty of think exaggeratedly pessimistic without any hope so that males you think "why i need to keep trying?"; Is like your mind lying to you about that everything it's wrooong forever but it's not. And Well, you can been sad just for think deeply things. I know it because I had been un both sides.
Depression isn’t seeing the world from a gray veil, it’s when you believe that the veil has been taken away and all you can see is the truth. But you’re really just caught up in your head and on your perspective, which is often absolutely irrational and overwhelmingly blown out of proportion. It’s not a beautiful thing, depression is an issue people rarely talk about, which is why I’m glad Dodie made this video. If it just helps one person who doesn’t struggle with depression understand, then it’s awareness.
I think both are right. Yes you overthink a lot in the bad way. The thoughts are negative all the time. But at the same time, it gives u a way to think deeply (of course, in a negative way). However, this is not a good thing for ur head. Putting u down always is frustrating and is really bad
squidward tentacles dude... your living/financial situation often has absolutely nothing to do with your mental health... nothing to do with weakness, just chemical imbalance.
squidward tentacles I also live in a very rough place, but that doesn't naturally translate into the mental state of the people living there. It can hit anyone, anywhere.
I need the people who are depressed but still achieving things like going to school everyday or maintaining a decent social live and pursuing some hobbies to tell. Me. How do you do that? Are you forcing yourself or do you just have a sheer survival will, how do you manage it? I'm serious I need some advice because I'm trying really hard and nothing seems to work :(
somersks. it could be off and on, more days are worse than others. It's not like you're all happy and cheery all the time with one bad day. It's always there but sprouts out at certain times.
You really can. I mean you seem to feel empty everyday, but that's not how depression works for a lot of people. For a lot of people, including myself, there's some good days and there are days when you're an empty unmotivated piece of shit that isn't really feeling a paticular emotionn, just being miserable. But there definitely can be days where you feel fine.
"I feel this constant longing for something, and I'm not getting it." I know I may get some dislikes for this, but I feel like I was led here to write this comment for someone. If you have a longing for something in your life, I have the answer. Jesus. Jesus fills the void. I and many others can attest for this. But that's not what's important. I just want you to know that Jesus loves you and if you have something missing in your life, it's Him.
MinnieMuffins people shouldn't be disliking this. I personally don't believe in any religion, but it doesn't give me the right to not respect others religions. And I think it's great that people can find hope in something.
i feel like this is like trying to make depression cute in a weird way. she has her hair all curled and in this cute top bun, a cute sweater, a small little snack and watching tv. depression is not even leaving bed, not showering, eating, etc. it's not cute like this. i understand you had good intentions making this but whatever its not like this for me at least
maybe thats how you think of this; you see the cute of the sweater and the bun and the fun of the tv show and the snack. dodie, at least in this state, probably didn't. depressed people try to do what's normal or amusing for them in an attempt to cheer themselves up. it's like you're playing a character; the 'happy' version of you likes wearing this sweater, so the depressed version of you tries to mimic that.
Dodie I don't want to sound patronising or anything so I'm really sorry if this sounds bad I don't mean it to! But for me having a faith & believing in God gives me so much hope and joy and purpose. I look at the universe and I think how can this all be by chance? For me, opening my mind to God is what makes me fulfilled and realise that everything is here for a reason and we have purpose and are loved. Idk just thought I'd throw that out there. Thank you for sharing how you have been feeling on low days because your vids are very raw & real and I think that's so important. I love you ❤️
annarchy i believe in God but it doesn't give me any joy or sense of purpose because sometimes I feel like everything is just shit now and it always will be. I'm just waiting for an uncertain death and hoping for a good eternal afterlife but I would still feel depressed because I don't have a choice what if I don't want eternity but would be punished for killing myself ? I didn't ask to be born I have chronic eczema on my face since I was 6 so I hate summer and I've never had any friends so what is my purpose?
Kit I agree with you. Religion can help in some sense but depression is an illness of the mind. The chemical imbalance needs to be reset and so do the psychological issues and for both of those therapy is necessary. I know religion can help in times of sadness but please people don't ever tell someone whos depressed to 'pray it away' because just like you can't pray a broken bone away you cannot pray depression away either.
Rita Leci I agree completely. I'm pretty Christian and have depression, and on bad days I kinda just do what dodie does and accept it, knowing that it'll go away. But also, on those days I can feel God reminding me that you don't have to feel 100% okay 100% of the time! I mean, no one does. I don't like the mantra that being Christian=being happy all the time, because if I never felt down I don't think I'd be able to be very compassionate, and that wouldn't make a very good Christian or just person in general, really.
She never said to pray her depression away, I'm a Christian and when I struggle with depression the facts that God has purpose for my life and I wouldn't want my family to feel that pain are usually the only things that keep me alive during that time. No matter how purposeless I feel I know the truth and I have something to hold onto.
Cassandra Naranjo I know, but to me it sounded like they meant remembering God's plan would make it go away. I was just trying to explain it in a way that encompassed both the reality of depression and the presence of God. Your assessment of it was a lot better than mine, actually, thank you.
Kit It isn't safe to assume that everyone's faith in God is blind.... Through everything that's changed in my life, through depression and losing friends and family and my own self changing, the only constant that's been is God. He's the only thing that has always come back to help me up. All the other stuff you mentioned is absolutely very important, but that doesn't make God any less real or important.
I so value this comment, and most of the responses. Jesus came to give us real life, hope, purpose... and that doesn't mean we don't experience pain or illness (mental included!). In the days you're depressed, that is valid- and God's got truth for you, and He will carry you through it.
It's interesting that you say blind faith, and it hurts my heart to hear your experience with faith- Jesus came because we can never "make" our lives worth something- He says we already have great worth! By grace I live, and I don't have to try to be enough. God is in the practical and present with you in the dark hours. He doesn't erase that all right now, but He's here with you and He'll bring you through it. God gives us hope-- but He also gives us therapists, medicine, support... <3
Just something to think on, thanks for sharing your perspective-Kit.
When I was depressed for a few years, the sweetest times were in some of the worst of times- I am thankful that God sits with us in our pain, He cares for every big and small hurt. On the days you can't get out of bed, He loves you most, He's there, caring and giving grace, as ever before.
Juliette, on your most hurting days, remember that there's nothing you could ever do to make Jesus love you more or less, His love for you is and always will be more than we can ever fathom. I hope you're reminded of His love for you tonight.
i am happy for you that you are feeling better through that, but to me religion kind of ruined me. i still have depression and anxiety but mentally leaving the church (my parents still force me to go and i have to lie about believing) made me feel sooo much better. am i the only one? my life would be so much better if religion wasn't constantly being shoved down my throat (not talking about you im talking about society and my family)
annarchy karsi 00 I can totally see where both u guys are coming from. there's a difference (and I seriously don't want to be offensive or patronizing at all) between religion and going to God for relief. think of it this way: religion says 'do.' it's forceful and rules about how to be 'good.'. God is a voice that knows how to listen and when to speak comfort into someone's life. so yeah just didn't want to pick between a side or anything and didn't want to make this seem like an argument or anything
annarchy you shouldn't feel ashamed that you found something that makes you happy/ works for you. many people use therapy, medication, exercise, etc... and religion is no different. I personally am not that religious but I hate the stigma people have around those who are.
Read the new testament. It won't cure your depression but it'll show you the truth of what's going on in our world. Best of luck to all of you. Fight on.
Hello my beauties. If y'all are interested in mental health awareness my bestie has designed and released amazing designs for Spark Support charity. The newest one being 'The seratonin starry night sky' I already have 2 tshirts and for such great prices. All the money goes to the charity. She makes no profit at all. Go check it out 💜💜💜
depression doesn't just go away if you eat ice cream. in my experience, it actually makes it worse to sit around pigging out because then at the end of the day i feel even more like absolute garbage
i like to run when i feel extra depressed, because the strain of my body makes me feel something, and i can feel good about doing something that's good for me
No treatment for depression should be complete if food sensitivities are not considered. Depression is a symptom of gluten sensitivity. Non-organic dairy products can also have the same effect. To know if this is your issue, simply avoid both all wheat products and all conventional dairy products for a week. This will cost you nothing & involves no medication. If necessary, avoid all dairy. A complete elimination diet is also a good idea if needed. Gluten sensitivity is a frequently misdiagnosed problem because Drs tend to treat only individual symptoms. Meds may not fix them. Good luck.
To me, depression is like that. Some days it’s like a rose thorn in a bears hand and other days it is the bear. She means how it’s so much worse today. That is so hard to describe.
I don't know her personally but she's talked alot about her depression. Also depression and being depressed are different. Depression-a chemical in balance of serotonin and other "happiness" inducing brain fluid. Depressed - a synonym for sad or solemn
???? Js sorry if this has been repeated There are different types of depression that can switch on and off. You can have good days and bad days. Shes been diagnosed. Its chemical. Sorry I don’t really understand What are you implying?
She has been diagnosed? She has depersonalization? She has every right to use depressed as an adjective and since she's been experiencing this for such a long time the word has probaboy become not such a big deal
Religion is wonderful. But faith doesn't always heal everything. Depression is an illness and should be treated. But I love being Christian because it gives me hope...it gives me purpose. It makes me happy. And isn't that worth it?
agreed. I found hope in life from God. everything made sense and i feel less scared and sad and angry of the world with Him. its so much more better, even with occasional depression its infinitely better than before. Im a Jesus freak! stay alive |-/
You can't exactly force someone to believe in someone they don't believe in, plus religion isn't going to magically cure a mental illness such as depression, you need physical medical aid for that. I understand you're trying to help though :D
Twenty øne Phans No one is forcing anyone. Some suggested therapy. Some suggested medication. Some suggested faith. It doesn't become "forcing" just because it's the one you don't agree with.
Me as well. I have anxiety, OCD, derealization, Tourette's and ADD. While you may not feel physically better sometimes, there's a hope in Christ that can lift a weight from you. So in a way, I feel like when you spiritually feel better, you can mentally feel better. Sometimes I pray for God to take away my derealization. Sometimes He does, sometimes He doesn't. But I know His will is perfect, so when the answer is "wait" or "not now", I know it's for a reason, and I can rest in that. :)
See, the interesting thing about this is that since you're praying to a non-existent god, you're actively putting yourself into a positive mindset without realizing it. Since you think there's a god who loves you, your brain accepts this love and uses it as fuel for happiness.
I went to reconciliation and I was really scared as I finally told the priest I believe in God and I love Jesus but I don't follow or support the Catholic Church. I thought he would hate me for it but he told me he thought I was very brave and that Jesus is always proud of me and he's my friend and loves me so dearly. I always cried right there and then because this amazing priest totally lifted my burdens
HannahLouisiana I know, I wasn't trying to be mean, it's just that with mental disorders religion will not work for everyone, and there are better ways to try and solve it. I was in no way trying to attack them, sorry if it sounded that way.
amirite Nobody here is being unsympathetic. Some people are expressing their own views, but nobody is doing it in an angry or hurtful way. People can talk about religion without it being mean and this person isn't receiving hate. <3
amirite Nobody here is being unsympathetic. Some people are expressing their own views, but nobody is doing it in an angry or hurtful way. People can talk about religion without it being mean and this person isn't receiving hate. <3
amirite Calm down, nobody was being disrespectful at all. We were expressing our opinions just like they were expressing theirs. They can believe in what they want, and so can dodie and everyone else. I was just saying that dodie might not believe in a god and that they should be respectful of that (though it didn't seem to come out that way, and for that i apologize).
IvanIsn'tHere maybe i shouldn't have said "everyone" whoops oh well anyways have a good day, i am going to go watch more videos about lin-manuel miranda now
+Twenty øne Phans im sorry, but may i point out that you used the exact words 'you can't exactly force someone'?? just dont jump to conclusions, please. thanks :)
abbuturtle Yeah, that was my fault, I'm not exactly the best with words, but i didn't mean to say this person forced anyone to believe in their religion. Sorry!
Sorry, but I always feel like if people who say they're depressed but still can get themselves to talk and make a video or even write a book about it, it can't be that bad. In my experience a main symptom of depression is that you can't do ANYTHING but lie in bed and try to sleep forever. As long as you still can go on with your day somehow it's "only" a light version. Just my personal opinion with no claims to being right or whatever.
It's almost like everyone's minds are different, and experience things differently. Crazy, I know.
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Claudius Buser2017-03-10 23:10:01 (edited 2017-03-10 23:11:52 )
That is obviously both true that we experience things differently cuz we are different people and that there are different types of depression. But these "helpful" commentators didn't get my point. But it is hard to convey.
In my opinion you can still do some things even when at the lowest of moods. All Dodie is doing here is talking to herself and a vague bit of editing. Both aren't being done to the highest of energy so I don't see how it means she has light depression? This was uploaded around midnight so for all we know she had been in bed all day prior to this. Not saying you're wrong but I disagree with your opinion.
SideOrderOfBeef I never claimed anything about her specific state. But I get that it could be interpreted like this. My "observation" was of a general nature about all these youtubers for example who can even turn their handicap into a business or something, which is a contradiction in my opinion.
This comment is quite offensive to me. Yes ofc that's what you want to do, but some people can't. They have to get up and try their best to get through the day.
Buser, if you watched Dodie regularly you would see that this video was recorded and produced in a very different way than some of her other videos where she WASN'T in this state while working on them. There is a difference. Some people have high tolerances and can force themselves to do things. Especially since it's essentially her job to do so. I personally can't do shit other than lie in bed and eat junk when i'm going through a wave of depression but that doesn't mean her sickness isn't as valid as mine because she can express what she's going through in a productive way.
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Claudius Buser2017-03-11 02:27:02 (edited 2017-03-11 02:36:51 )
Marissa Swain again, I never said anything claiming HER depression is not valid. I'm just saying in general if one of the main symptoms of major depression is you lack will to live or do anything and theses youtubers can even make videos about exactly that. Then logically deducible the cutout for major depressive episode isn't reached. It's coincidence that I wrote this under one of her videos, could've written it about anyone's video or book or whatever about crippling depression. But again I'm far from rating anyone's symptoms.
Claudius Buser I get what you're saying,yeah it's true. But it's more than healthy to write or film about it because you're expressing yourself in some sort,and I find that helpful.
Honestly you can do a lot of activities and still be depressed, you can be at a party, you be on a date, you can be alone at a park, you can go to work, etc. I used to do all those things and still feel depressed inside. My depression was constant and I traveled with it but now thankfully I'm ok but either way you can still do things and be depressed
It's however, really helpful and healthy to analyze your feelings and making videos can be therapeutic. Yes, sometimes I have that, I space out, cry and just...exist without doing anything, but even for me, depression acts out in different ways. Some of my worst days I have fake laughed, done stuff, talked to people and at the same time been on a verge of death, really. Symptoms vary even within yourself, coming from someone who has had different degrees of depression for over a decade now. I do sometimes "envy" in a weird way people, who function with depression, but it's ridiculous in the end.
Lucy Wallis Sorry but it sounds like you're invalidating her depression. Even a series of episodes can have 'higher' points. This is obviously a very different Dodie and even her movements seem sluggish. This is no way to live.
Sorry but I am just a psychology student and even I know that 'marked distress + significant impairment of daily life = mental disorder'. She has been diagnosed and is currently seeking treatment. What more do you want?
If you're not trying to invalidate her depression, I don't understand why you felt the need to write this comment. To me, it sounds like you're trying to say that she's not as bad as she's making out to be, or that there are people out there who have 'worse' depression than her (judging from where you say 'it can't be that bad', in reference to people who can make videos while depressed, such as Dodie can). But the way I see it, you can't say that some people's depression is 'worse' than others, as, like many people have pointed out, everyone has different symptoms, and you can't understand how bad someone else's depression is, even if you're going through it yourself, as you probably have difference symptoms. Even during the epitome of my depression when I wanted to die, I was still able to go to school and get work done, and come out of it with decent grades. I think this is a case in point that some people are able to motivate themselves, even in the height of depression, to do things for whatever reason. While many people do have the 'lie in bed and try to sleep forever' symptom set, those people do not necessarily have 'worse' depression than those who don't.
I know, depression symptoms can't be quantified as stated several times. again, I'm not talking about her, but in general that's my observation. If one symptom of major depression is you can't't do ANYTHING BUT LIE IN BED, CAN'T GET UP etc so if you can get on with your day and studies and whatnot as if you were not depressed, then you are lucky and got a kind that doesn't have those debilitating symptoms...Or you are strong enough to fight them, then I say more power to you, fortune favors the brave.
I'm not sure. I mean, it depends on how you look at it. I certainly don't have that, I keep quitting things and restarting and quitting and restarting again as my depression comes and goes--and sometimes I feel like people with high-functioning depression are lucky because they still manage to get their shit together. But from what I read, people with high-functioning depression could be just as unhappy and even as suicidal (clinical depression is about chemical imbalance in your brain so how things work is probably different in everyone?) which means it could be more dangerous.
Claudius Buser to be honest I think you are being deliberately inflammatory as many people above have explained why you are so mislead and you are still not getting it. There is also a WEALTH of information available on and off the net so you can educate yourself further rather than going on on and saying the same things. But in short, just because you can function sometimes does not make your depression 'better' 'worse' or 'lucky'. A person can work day in and day out and then take their own life. They might appear to be functioning but the depression is still there. It is really not that hard to understand.
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Claudius Buser2017-03-17 15:17:38 (edited 2017-03-17 15:19:40 )
Natalie Binns oh man, serenity now. Seems to me you want to be inflamed or whatever you call that. I can only try so many times to explain that what you're claiming is not what I'm doing, that's why it seems like I'm repeating myself. Well, I feel most of the commentators get how I mean it. So let's leave it at that since we're obviously communicating on different wavelengths.
I think this is kind of irresponsible? I feel terrible for dodie, it's awful to feel this way and it's fine if she wants to talk about her problems and educate people, but she knows that she's got a massive audience who may well be in a vulnerable position, and saying all this without any advice or urge to get help or constructive ideas feels like she's ignoring her responsibility as a public figure. I know she may not be able to say anything positive right now, but she should also be aware of the influence she has on the well-being of others.
Education is not faking. Education is showing both sides of a coin. Education is showing what else she can say even when at times she feels like this. Do you really think now is the time to critisize her?
Rebecca Stenlake I agree that it's important for her to share her experiences and be honest, and I know that when I had depression I found it comforting to hear that other people felt the same way as I did, but I also know that if someone like dodie had just said at the end of their video "if you feel like this, please get some help" I would have got the support I needed and started getting better a lot sooner
Hi. I am an extremely depressed and anxious person. Currently planning my death (don't worry I've never actually tried and never will I just need to fill this emptiness by making up completely random plans like hanging myself with helium balloons. I mean, come on, helium balloons?! That'd be a great way to go). Anyway I am a person "in a vulnerable position" imo and seeing this video by Dodie makes me feel better. I know that someone else is going through the exact same things as me and that makes me want to die less. It is also a form of therapy for Dodie unbottling her problems so her brain doesn't explode. And what's more she gets loads of support from lovely people.
She mentions IN THIS VIDEO that she's in therapy and has mentioned in many other videos that she is getting help and is in contact with medical professionals and is going to therapy regularly and is getting help. So that message is there. But even when you're getting help, you still have shit days. This was her sharing hers and the reality that treatment is not a cure and that it can take a long time to find a plan that will actually help you get better.
She takes her influence on others very seriously and this video is a part of that.
VL She has given lots of advice in many other videos, talked about therapy, how and where to find help from others and how to try to make yourself feel better. This video, though, might not have given any kind of advice, but made me feel a little better in a way I cant really explain. The bad days are exactly like this – pessimism feels like plain reality and trying to be positive just makes you feel worse, and that It's your fault that you feel pain because you are too weak to get better for your own sake. So, I dont know, this kind of made me feel like I am not alone in this? Of course It's just my point of view.
Please stop making a MENTAL ILLNESS look like a cute, fun thing. You literally don’t take medication yet ( at the time this came out) so I mean you aren’t severely depressed are you Hun
Papa John I don't think so. She likes to share how she feels with her audience and in my opinion I love it. It feels nice to feel that you are not the only one. Everytime somebody talks about I don't know why you guys keep commenting OmG ShE iS sO fAkE yOu aRe nOt dEpReSsEd. You don't know how she feels You Cant read mind
Savannah Craft I agree! when she was saying "longing for something" I kept thinking.. I use to be there! Until I found Jesus and everything made sense!
+Beck Styles He is. And He loves you. If you did your research, you would know that he did exist on Earth and was a prophet by dictionary standards. Even if you don't believe it's the word of God, the Bible is one of the best-kept records of all time in terms of lineage and such. He loves you. He died for you. He can help you.
So I'm Christian myself (well my parents are and I go to a Christian school but sometimes I just dont know what to believe) and I'm bi. But I know LGBT isnt really accepted, so I'm very curious what you think and if you have any tips for me. Love Lydia
Lydia Winchester me too, I have literally the same exact circumstances. I've just realized that He loves me no matter what, and should want me to be happy
+Lydia Winchester I understand where you're coming from. I love Dodie so much, but she is bisexual, and I don't agree with her. My Jesus came for those who are lost and in need of saving. When he came to earth, he hung with the people who were living in sin, not those who were already righteous. That doesn't mean you are a bad person if you are bisexual, but it does mean you are living in sin in God's eyes. I would do some Bible research and soul searching to find out if this is really a way God can use you to your full potential. Spread the love! - Savannah
rae He does. Jesus and God are the same. Jesus is the physical version (you could say) of God, who was on Earth and caused all of the jazzy snazzy stuff. I assure you, he is. Also, I get depressed once in a while, but less than Dodie. In that time, I don't feel like doing ANYTHING but sleep and eat. It's decreased a lot. I've become much more positive, optimistic. Jesus gives me a lot of hope, and I'm not afraid of anything anymore (I used to be afraid of so much....)
+Savannah Craft, listen, I'm all for practicing your religion and if God makes you live your life better, then all the power to you, but she wants medical help. MEDICAL. It doesn't seem like she wants Jesus. In other videos, she's talked about her inability and lack of desire for religion. That is fine. And as for her bisexuality, she isn't living in sin. lgbt+ people have had too many people tell us that we're in need of fixing, or we are sinners. And I hate to break it to ya, but if you refer to people who aren't cishets as 'living in sin' you're homophobic. Cut and dried.
Racist Puff, thank you. I do love Dodie, I support her channel, I do covers of her songs, and I all around just love what she is producing. I don't agree with her lifestyle, and I think Jesus could give her some relief. He gave me hope, love, and peace, so I suggest you check him out. I repeat, not church people, JESUS. He hung out with those he didn't agree with, and no one forced them to follow him. We are all living in sin and no one is perfect. I don't care what you are living in, what you support, or what you do in your life, JESUS CAME FOR YOU. He loves you if you're gay, bi, purple, or blue. I just shared some advice that has helped me, but people have come at me for it. Just like you have freedom of speech, I DO TOO. Christians should not be excluded for speaking their minds.
Caitlin Morrison. It was just a suggestion. No reason to get upset. I did not say that Christians can't have depression, just that religion might help. Hope you have a blessed day
Could be gayer2018-02-18 00:50:56 (edited 2018-02-18 00:53:19 )
I fill the same all the time and tried to tell some one my friends said oh it's nothing and I always fell like crying and I'm so sad and I can't do anything about it p.s I cried seeing people sad herts me
I can relate to this SO WELL but I just want you to know that when your anxiety , depersonalisation or depression really gets you down then just know that we’re here for you dodie and that we love you xxx
It's so interesting (for me, at least) to watch this when I'm feeling healthy and when I'm feeling really gross. The things that stick out to me are different and it's fascinating. I agree with everything you're saying. Right now, I'm feeling really good and excited for my future. Thank you for making this and for everything that you do! 💛
This is so good, when you talked about how you feel on depression days, I started crying. I thought I was the only one that felt that way a lot, and I know that's cliche and s***, but I really never thought that anyone else properly struggled with it.
I’ve been trying to explain to my parents how I’m feeling and I may send this video to them because it completely puts every single little feeling I’m feeling into words. Thank you dodie
I want to be a physiatrist/therapist when I'm older, your videos really help me with my work. Also, my best friend has depression, you help me help her. ❤️
Thank you so much for this Dodie. I want to show it to my dad so he can hopefully understand me better. People in my family have a tendency to assume I’m lazy. This will help. I love you.
thank you for being so open about this. i love you so much. this is how i feel all the time (i have depression) and i just. GOD I'm so glad to hear someone expressing exactly what i'm feeling.
The entire time I was watching this I was like “YES YES EXACTLY” you explained it so well. I can never explain my depression. I’m the same way. Except maybe a bit more tears.
I've been having a bad day and i somehow found my way back to this video to feel validated, its so easy to think you're alone and no one would understand how you're feeling but you make me feel understood and i wish i could explain my thoughts and feelings as well as you but no matter what i appreciate you and am so grateful for you and your videos
I remember when you posted this, I was really depressed during that period of time and I would go to this video so much. Ahh I'm starting to tear up just typing this, I'm gonna stop, but what I wanted to say out of that is, dodie... you've helped me more than you can imagine, it's still bad for me but you still help soooo much
The most relatable things I've ever seen after diagnosed with depression. Yeay! That's my life everyday now! Thanks Doddie. 😄 I wish I could just ask people to see this and understand my struggle.
currently feeling depressed all over again... watching this i realize that it’s okay to seek help. you’ve helped me realize i’m not alone. thank you, i love you!!!
You just articulated every little thing. Like, holy shit. It just hit me that this is like a real standardized thing that other people feel the exact same way.
Gosh this entire video is such a good vocalization of chemical depression. I agreed with every single thing you said. It sucks feeling depressed and knowing there is no real reason for it, and not being able to change it. You know you're going to feel better again, and yet you can't actually convince yourself of it... even though you do know it's true? It's like having two brains.
Wow, this is so relatable because your describing it so well, and I feel like this way a lot too, to all the people think they know what depression is, or what it feels like you have no idea
This is absolutely what happens to me. Just recently I spent ALOT of money on a night out with my significant other and ended up being depersonalized the entire time. It really hurt to not enjoy something as much as I could have if it wasn't an off day. This happens so often I feel like I'm at such a loss of what life could truly be. I blamed myself for it originally, but I am slowly coming to terms with this mental illness I've been stuck with. I'm grateful someone with such influence is willing to talk about depression and denationalization and educate the internet on mental illness. Thank you Dodie.
Thank you for posting this. I might just record myself talking on a bad day too... it could be a nice way to vent maybe??? This has been really nice to watch. Thank you again.
i too struggle with derealization and am currently in counseling, which helps, but yeah. some days i wake up and the world looks foggy and nothing seems real and some tea with edamame feels like the only thing that helps? it's weird how that works isn't it… so after watching this vid, i associate tea and edamame with comfort when i'm feeling particularly spaced out. thank you dodie <3
Hey everyone, I knew some of you have been feeling down or having negative emotions and have a hard time expressing how you feel into positive ways. That is why I have created an awareness project that brings light to these feelings and issues that are so prevalent into today’s society. If you are interested, or know someone who might be, you can go to my youtube channel and watch some of the videos that talk about these things. I always have other social media platforms that you can find in the description under my first video “Suicide Awareness and Prevention Project”. Maybe some of the content will help you or someone you know! These are still new and so I am still working on uploading videos discussing different topics. But I hope this serves the public well! Stay strong everyone!
This reminds me of the first real depressed moment I remember. I went to John and hank green’s need con and it was supposed to be fun. But I was depressed that weekend and highly annoyed that I couldn’t find it fun.
i relate to this so much... some days im like that, empty and void, and others there is like a animal of negativity inside of me trying to burst through my skin...
There are days or moments when I would feel like this and just constantly space out even more than usual then I'd just try to hide it by saying that I'm feeling sick. I just didn't want to talk and explain to people because nothing could cheer me up anyways.. I always thought that "oh I'm just sad and overreacting. I'm far from depressed" but then I watched this and it hit me hard.. I don't want to say I'm depressed because I'm not yet diagnosed but what Dodie said was accurate..
could you make more videos about depersonalisation and derealisation? because all I ever hear about is, people having it in phases. I have it for 2 years straight now.. like chronical. And I'm so curious how you deal with it, considering you've got it for 4 years now.
Also I'm really enjoying your videos. You're the cutest girl ever :)
I have to admit, around 4:20 (hahaha) I couldn’t help but to burst out sobbing. All day I’ve just felt absolutely awful for no good reason and just to have this feeling I didn’t even know I was feeling put into words was so.... relieving. I feel like dodie speaking about her feelings just helps me realize my own and just.... thank u dodie.... you’re the bisexuality + mental health awareness icon we deserve ❤️❤️
I don’t feel like going into detail, but my friend attempted suicide two weeks ago and I was there. I was there through everything, right after she texted that she took two bottles of pills. I won’t get to see her until November 15, aka about another month. I was already depressed but now I’m also longing for something I cant have, and I relate to this so much, and this is literally my entire thought process to a tee and it’s scary how much I relate to you.
I've come across people in my life who say that being depressed is 'stupid' and just your way of getting attention from people but that's not true. I suffer through depression and it's not a easy thing to deal with but hearing your story and my other favourite YouTubers (Mainly Dan Howell) helps me see that having depression is just a part of you that will always live and something that is okay to have. My friends have depression worse than I do and I try to help (which leads to my own problems) them. I know this is really late but thank you for posting this. Whenever I get depressed I know who to watch - From a huge ball of mess Ella
This is so amazing. I started showing signs of depression in 3rd grade. I’m serious. My mom’s mom has bipolar depression (i didn’t know that till i was probably almost 16.) My mom had to live with it her whole life, she very very much didn’t want me to fall down the same path (her mom was so gone, she doesn’t even realize something is wrong. It’s the saddest thing ever. I wish I could help. My mom at 6 started COOKING her own dinner, she made eggs a lot.) She also knew, kids when they hit the beginning of puberty can experience depressive episodes due to hormones and putting those kids on antidepressants can make their brain rely on them, when their brain will fix itself all by itself when it gets the hormones under control. Sooooo, my mom kinda ignored/tried to get me to do stuff when i was going through this. I understand now what she was doing, but when it was happening i felt very misunderstood. That poem by Sabrina B(something) about depression when she says “MOM ITS NOT THAT EASY TO HAVE FUN WHEN YOU DONT REALLY WANT TO HAVE FUN” (something like that) me 2 all day. I spent basically a year and a half of my life in my room (my mom tried so hard she really did this was on me) and then i wanted to kill myself so bad. She finally sat me down what do you feel most of the time? nothing how often a day do you get happy? not every day? and when i do it only lasts about 5 seconds, i try really hard for you to make you happy, but sometimes i can’t okay, i know baby, how many days a week do you feel happy feelings? 3 maybe 4 on a good week when was the last time you really truly felt happy, i know you know how real happy feels? before 3rd grade?
then she gave me a long talk about how it wasn’t my fault and it’s like how a diabetic doesn’t make insulin i soon after was put on antidepressants
i was SOOOO happy my mom would cry and say she hadn’t seen me that happy in YEARS
i would still have “depressed” days, i didn’t understand. I was taking my meds like i was supposed to, what’s wrong? I found out it’s normal, when i have those days though it’s hard for me to continue taking them. I had a struggle with that for maybe a year. I’m better now. I also still have just “sad” days. It’s the sad I used to get before being depressed.
This explains so well what depression felt like for me. I hope whomever is reading this never feels what depression feels like, it’s so heavy and tiring. At the same time, nothing at all, throw anxiety in (my mom doesn’t believe in medicating anxiety, so i deal with panic attacks etc myself,) you also feel anxiety about nothing that you don’t care about. It’s terrible, please don’t romanticize it.
this made me cry because I feel everything about this especially about wanting to go back and feeling everything when you feel nothing anymore. my feelings are so forced now as if im trying to be happy for other people but when im alone im just blank, like a mannequin or something absolutely no emotion.
This is so relatable. If people just say, oh watch your favourite movie or eat your favourite snack, but you can't. Anything that makes you feel happy and excited, has no effect on you when you're depressed. You always just feel sad and meh. But I got over it. And I hope everyone gets through it too!! Xxx 😊💕❤
I'm not depressed, but after watching this I related A LOT. Maybe a little more than I should've. Especially since I'm a very happy person half of the time. Do you have some advice to deal with this?
I have an under-active thyroid and my doctor said that was probably the reason I felt so shitty yay. I always wonder, if it was just a situational factor, such as my mum trying to kill herself (that happened twice, yay), would it be easier to climb out of the hole? It's in my brain, it's deep down into my genetic code, so how the hell do I escape it? Depression and mental illness is literally a part of my DNA, so how do I escape? If it was purely situational, would I be able to think "okay, I can escape the black"? :)
i am very depressed and suicidal at the moment, but i have a quick question for anyone who would like to answer. is it normal to not be able to cry sometimes? like your so sad but you just can't cry?
Sometimes I feel like I'm not awake and everything feels really weird and when it happens I start feeling really sad because It's like this cloud of weird dreamyness has sucked the fun out of everything but I don't think I'm depressed because it only happens when I'm in the middle of doing something really fun and it lasts for 15mins to 1hr and I don't really know what to do 🙃😞
I love u dodie, i hope u know that, u actually have no idea who i am. I wish the best for u.
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sydney noel2017-11-11 07:19:51 (edited 2017-11-11 07:37:48 )
hEY LET'S RANT So, the way Dodie describes her perspectives and thoughts and just how it feels to be her and in her mind when she's in this state- that's how I feel all of the time. Every now and then I have these little moments of clarity, but normally everything is just a giant mass of bland. I don't get "happy", I don't get "sad". I just get "ugh". I always feel so dazed and uncomfortable, and I just can't pull satisfaction from anything. You know when you're a kid and you have those nightmares where there's nothing particularly scary going on, but everything seems distorted and obscure and scary? that's how i feel all the time. and my mind is like a split universe. i'll have two separate trains of thought going at the same time. one will be responsible and positive while the other is just like a blanket of negativity thrown over my head. and i'm annoyingly laughy and jokey at school, with my friends, and i know that i'm annoying. the only reason i put on that front is because if i don't, i'll just be so blank and so uncomfortable and paranoid and if that's how i present myself, i'll be alone and sad and aaaa. i remember one time at school in sixth grade, i was giggling like mad over barely anything just to seem normal, to try and make myself feel like i was "happy", and looking beside me to see the one friend i had just giving me an awful stare. i knew at that moment that i was truly a mess, because for the first time in a while the bland, numb feeling sort of broke, and i just started to cry. i felt like i had physical weights on my chest. i had to get up and leave, and pretend that i was sick so that my poor mother could leave work despite her boss screaming at her to come and get me. ugh. just- how do you express these feelings to someone just to know that someone knows about it and seemingly cares, even if it's just them trying to be nice, without being an attention whore? i get enough attention, i don't want people to be troubled over me at all when they have to worry about themselves and the people that deserve affection and understanding, but am i wrong to want some for myself? i don't know, i guess i wish that i had someone who could make me feel anything but this, but i know that it isn't a storybook, that can't happen, it's me and my mind and no single human can fix that. nobody can fix the fact that i always feel like everything around me is moving at double speed and i'm stuck in slow motion. i feel like i can't focus and i don't feel like the things around me aren't real- i feel like i'm the one that isn't real. i feel like i'm just part of someone, and i can't function normally. i don't understand myself or who i am, and everything is too much and i'm such an immature child about this.
wow why is that my brain typed up in a youtube comments section goddamn oops
everytime i try to tell my mum i feel depressed, or literally anything about my mental health, her answer is "you're just going through puberty. maybe you're just gonna get your period again soon." she doesn't understand mental health issues. i have a brother, and he has mental issues as well and all my parents do to try and help him is take him to doctors and take medicines. im 5 years younger so they don't take my issues as seriously and it makes life ten times more painful when i don't have anyone to come to for help.
3:28 once my parents tried to cheer me up when I was depressed, they took me to go see the ocean and to go see the city, and I felt like an asshole when I didn't want to leave the car and i didn't get anything good and fun from that trip, I felt really bad
When I’m feeling depressed, I’m not really where I am physically emotionally. For example, at school, I’m there, I talk to my friends and stuff, but I just feel so disconnected, like I’m just walking through life instead experiencing it. I don’t eat, I barely talk unless I have to (Like when my friends start talking to me), and I just..I don’t know. I can’t really put in all into words..
To me, depression is like a 500pound object is sitting on me that I can not even breath or enjoy anything. Even worse is when people try to help and ask what is the reason, but you don't even know. Its just there, following you dragging you where ever you go. If Im feeling happy, laughing or enjoying something even for 10 seconds I am grateful even when its gone. It sucks. It really sucks.
i feel like this a lot. But one of my friends said that maybe its because i am comparing myself to Dodie or trying to be like her since i look up to her so much. i do not know what is going on with me or my mind. Sometimes i just feel nothing or unsatisfaction with little droplets of sadness, then my dad gets mad at me. It usually happens when i have martial arts class that my dad teaches, and it always sucks because i just feel so empty and he gets mad at me because i look like a "zombie". If i try to explain it he will just get mad and confused because i don't really know how to explain it and he will think its a phase or i am watching too many videos or something. But the fact that i know a lot about mental health for my age should be a bit concerning or the fact that i have brought up suicide or major deppressive disorders or different mental health dissorders and issues should probably concern him at least a tad to think of my mental state. or at least i would think so
i don't suffer from depression. any mental illness at all. it's just that, today, after smiling at everything, out of nowhere, my brain just starts thinking about everything else technically irrelevant in my short life. out of nowhere i want to talk to someone, the topic doesn't really matter, i want to feel surrounded. i am currently upstairs, listening to "paris" by the 1975 on loop, i don't want to go downstairs, i don't want to practice guitar for a presentation i'll be doing. i want to feel "full".
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Cas Loves2017-11-03 23:33:08 (edited 2017-11-03 23:36:18 )
I'm sorry you feel bad, but you're reeeeaally selling me on those beans.
For those who dont know what real depression is. This is it. Its not just feeling sad. Its feeling tired And hopeless. Sad is not even close to being depressed, depression makes you feel like you arent really here. I have depression. And its never that im sad. Theres nothing to be sad about. Im just tired, feeling like the things or people around me arent actually there. And feeling hopeless and then i end up crying(sometimes) because of it. Ugh it sucks honestly.
I have an eating disorder, and sometimes I wake up, and I just want to lay back down and sleep the whole day away because I feel disgusting and fat. But I can’t do that, because I have to go to school, and I have to take tests, and I have to get up. I recently went to my therapist and she got on the subject of how it might have started. I had told her before “I don’t really think anything happened.” But because I was so depressed and felt so gross, I realized, there was that starting place. My sister with autism, eats plenty of food, sometimes way more than needed, and she gained weight. I got scared. My mother was watching a show with skinny girls and said that that can only be achieved by oatmeal and apples a day. My mother told me I’d never be as skinny as my friend because that’s not my body. So me falling into this disorder, was me controlling myself, and basically saying “I’ll show you.” I am writing this, and feeling silly, hoping no one sees this, hoping no one notices me because I don’t want others to see my silly moments. But I’m writing this, because I want someone to see this. Now I am quite conflicted and annoyed with myself for this vent or whatever this is... ~Sincerly, Jay D. P.S. If you’ve read this...hello
no way is this relatable... you're depressed, and i totally understand that as someone who also suffers. but, this is not a 9-5 job where you HAVE to wake up and follow that strict routine. i have mornings where i don't want to, but i know i have to... so, learn about that actual routine. you can wake up, have this feeling and be allowed to have space to take care of yourself... maybe record a video... or tweet that you can't. what about us that are living the socially "normal" life? what about us that must wake up, deal with depression and get on with work....
Ew, there are some really disgusting people on the comments. I can’t wrap my head around how people think that dodie is romanticising this, or over reacting. I don’t understand how people don’t believe you are depressed. It’s really gross
MmmmmmmugggHHHH I've been telling myself all day I'm just In a mood but fuck im depressed. Don't worry it's not just based on this video I have this feeling a lot and it was great to listen to someone be depressed with me but fuCK I'm depressed. Also I'm writing an informative essay on you because you're a huge inspiration to me
My feelings are weird. Everyday seems like a dream and that everything i Have is not enough and that my life is just a boring floating dream. i feel worthless and sad all the time yet i can laugh like a normal person, i just can’t be happy. I stay in my head, daydreaming situations like a dream inside of a dream. Everything is just so painted and fake and nothing ever feels like it is enough. Like there is something that was taken away. i don’t feel heavy, i just feel it at the front of my mind, nagging, but like a screen. It’s so weird and hard and i constantly feel like that’s how it’s always going to feel. Like I’m forcing that on myself. And you want to know what’s worse. My brain keeps wanting all the bad things. All the good things in life now seem plain and unneeded. My brains saying, “Depression would be better, it will make you needed. You need it” Everyday it says that i would be better off suffering from a mental or physical illness. Someone tell me if you feel this too. i don’t want to be alone.
Technically, depression is not a feeling or something that can ever go away. If you actually have the mental illness, you always have it and will always have it once you develop it. Also, it is not sadness or feeling down. It's very different. So, if you have depression, you don't feel it just one day of your life. That means you don't have depression, you're just sad/feeling down. Yes, you don't feel it every single day, but if you have it you don't just feel it once or twice or every once in a while.
Omgggggggg u speak my mind!!! Ahahhaahah sorry it’s shouldn’t be funny, but when i find someone speaking what my mind does, it feels like an inner joke for me. N it makes me laugh.... its like talking to one of my friend who have it too...... ermmmmm...oookaaay..Im being all weird now. Anyway, nice to meet you!
today was a bad day for me, for no reason. it’s like i fell into a dark whole a couple years ago and i still haven’t found my way out. i just stay in bed all day, bored out of my mind but unsatisfied by everything. i can’t even bring myself to make food, open my curtains, take a shower, brush my teeth. it sucks. i just cry until i have none left to give and then i feel guilty, but i still can’t get out of bed. it really sucks.
I have a few things to say... I'm craving beans which I had for lunch but I want more I'm depressed and usually I have a few people to talk to but I feel alone at this point I can't be bothered doing much atm, tomorrow is supposed to be great but I'm feeling anxious and unexcited about it Please kill me I need professional help but last time I approached my mum about it she thought I was just really sad and didn't believe me so I'm still stuck in this low
11 months later and i'm worse, in a different situation. i'm lonely and scared and i don't have anyone left to really call a friend and the ones i do are teetering on a line and if we slip it's over.
I hate being a chemically emotionally student cuz my parents don't get it and I have to go to school everyday and I'm at school nothings going in I'm just writing things that's pointless I hate it so much
I sometimes think of the song Youth from Daughter. When I am depressed, I just accept it and do what my Depression tells me to do. It fades away bcs happiness comes back the next day when I finally can fall asleep. I think its wrong to block it, it will just make it worse for yourself
I think it's different for everyone tho when I'm feeling depressed if I think about it I just feel worse and it lasts longer but if I try and distract myself it's like my brain forgets about it? Idk how to describe what I'm thinking 😂
Can you choose anything else but depression ? And have you chosen something else ? Have you been successful ? That is the question. You do have a very bleak look on depression .It’s sad to see and hear. But you sure talk a lot and only if you can take a more positive view instead .
It’s currently day 5 of an intense depression. Not sure what triggered it, I’m just nothing. Anti depressants aren’t working. This is my 7th type of drug. Modern medicine isn’t working. I’m a hair away from dropping out of uni, even though I have 1 single course to complete before I graduate with a maths teaching degree. Maths makes no sense anymore. It’s useless, just like everything else. My psychologist keeps telling me to distract myself. Why would I distract myself from reality. We are all going to die.
arihana She actualy is confusing it because its not something you have one day and other day you dont it just keeps going every day maybe she is sad but she is not depressed.
I'm judging without knowing a person's state? Dude you're literally saying that she can't be depressed because she isn't experiencing it in the same way that you are. Depression isn't the same for every person, she clearly experiences it differently. And I don't think that you believe it's easy to treat, I'm just saying that if it were as simple as being exactly the same across the board, it'd be much easier to come up with solutions for it.
slay girl, talking about mental illness is so so important. if you're depressed and feel you can't talk as animatedly or factually as dodie don't be scared, it's okay. just sharing alone will help you a tiny bit, hearing other stories will make you feel less alone. sometimes all you can do is remember it is temporary, you aren't alone and there's so many people out there who love you
??? Wtf. You feel depressed today? Or maybe feel sad today? Depression is a condition, it never goes away... Lol wtf is this shyte. But I do feel bad how you were feeling sad that day.
When you feel depressed, think about the millions around the world who are starving, cold, miserable, uneducated, powerless, and realise the opportunities and advantages you can enjoy, there, your life isn't so shit after all. Defeat your own ego.
This has helped me so much! You explain yourself/feelings SO well it's amazing. Even though this wasn't your best day you still had so much positivity!!
Thank you for posting this Dodie. I find this video really comforting for some reason and it's really relaxing to watch, you're such a genuine person and I love that so thank you!
when I'm depressed I watch your videos. They make me smile and I always feel better. Is like I'm not alone anymore, there are people who feel the same. Thank you, Dodie, although you aren't going to see this, for been how you are. I love you
honestly, you have just voiced everything I've always wanted to say for me, and it gives me a release better than anything else has ever given me, thank you so much for this (i'm not saying i am glad you felt that way of course, but I am glad you shared because it has helped so many people and I am so grateful so thank you so so much)
Dodie, this video has helped me so much! You have just put into words exactly what I feel when I'm having one of those bad days and, though I am sorry that you have to go through this, I am also glad that I am not alone in this. Thank you so so much
This video has helped me realize that the emptyness I feel constantly may be depression. It had crossed my mind but I never really related to something so much because people never talk so openly about it. So thank you, Dodie, for being so open. <3
Wow, this is the best video I've found to show how I feel when I'm depressed. I really like when people make "in the moment" videos because they are always so much more real and accurate (because no matter how much we remember we always describe bad times differently on good days) and it really shows the truth of the moment.
I was diagnosed with severe depression last year, on my down days I feel quite different than this, but eating the random peas was something I could definitely relate to haha. Kudos for making a video about it!
By the way - I cannot recommend SSRIs highly enough!!! Medication changed my life, it made my ups more frequent and my downs more bearable and less debilitating.
I watch this video over and over again in my depression state just because i feel like you're the only one i can relate to and that makes me feel slightly better. love you <3
i just came across this video and its crazy that literally everything i have ever felt when I'm having a bad day and feeling depressed you put into words so perfectly. sometimes it makes me feel more hopeless and lost because i don't even know how to explain how I'm feeling but you do it so well, thank you for this video
This made me feel better actually, I have to keep remembering that depression isn't just my curse and that we have a community of us all wanting to die together
I feel like you're the only person who's ever described how I felt perfectly in terms of depersonalisation and how life in the past felt vivid and full of colour and now the world literally feels fake. It's scary and I hate it.
I always watch this video when my depression kicks in, it's a kind of relief (in the strangest way) to know that someone else's feels the way you do. It decreases that loneliness by the tiniest bit but I'd rather that than not at all
I send people this video whenever I can't explain how I'm feeling because this 100% sums it up. I love you and thank you for making me feel less alone.
I feel exactly the same way, sometimes I just need to here it from someone else. Obviously I'm still not cheered up after this vid but it helped me with the whole "you aren't actually alone, you just feel isolated"
Dodie, you are so inspirational and brave to put this out on the internet. I could never understand what you were going through then, and I accept that, but I could see that even though it must have been so hard, you are smiling, laughing slightly, cracking jokes on and off. That. Is. Incredible. You go girl!
Damn I love videos like these, honestly. I'm not diagnosed but I've been thinking that I'm having depression since a couple years. If I wasn't already thinking that, this Video would've probably been the moment where I'd realize it bc I can absolutely identify with it: Sometimes I wake up and just know that today I won't be doing anything but nothing and laying around. This neverending boredom, this emptiness, this "It's alright tomorrow it'll be okay again" stuff - I know it too. Thanks for making this video. It helps others to realize that they're not alone with their problems and that they most likely have depression - It's so good and relieving to finally find an answer to the question "why do I feel like this (again)?"
I still enjoyed listening to you. I feel the same as you do. That's how depression is. You Described it perfect. So it was good to listen to you. I got a blood test to and nothing showed up.
Great video. Like you said at the beginning... it's okay to be depressed anyone who doesn't experience it at sometime in their life is probably lying. That probably doest make sense and I have probably said probably WAY too many times but it is OKAY! X ❤
Never ever could explain how exactly how I felt but she said it 100% perfect . Especially the checking in the morning part. I feel like I don't see life the same. Can relate 1000%.
what i always find best for when im feeling down is to just let it happen instead of trying to make myself happy. if i just let my depression/sadness free flow, then i feel like it'll be over a lot sooner.
I've had depression for as long as I can remember. Some days are okay. Some are horrid. It's a complete and heavy numbness. Everything feels like a dream. Floaty, and unreal.
dodie. i am truly so sorry you have to deal with dp / dr , i know how you feel and its horrible. nothing feels real, i just want to say thank you , you make me feel normal
this is everything ive ever wanted to say and so much more. I just found your channel today and I love you already. A little over two years ago I was diagnosed w depression and anxiety (fun amirite ladies) and um i kinda fucked up my life and a year behind in school now and a good day is rare but amazing. idk youre never gonna read this but in the past hour i have watched so many of your videos and its given me a little bit of hope. a little bit of hope that things will be okay eventually, and i could never repay you.
New subscriber! There's something calm about you. I like how you seem true to yourself. It's refreshing! :) Looking forward to watching more of your vids
I can relate to all of this. Including the watching Rick and Morty bit at the beginning. Most days I can smile through the pain and be okay, whatever that means, some days I just can't. It doesn't hurt, it just feels like nothing, but then I realize that I feel like nothing and I hate myself.
Dear Dodie, Thank you: For pulling me out of the most dark lonely and horrible time of my life, For teaching me to accept my indifferences, For making these videos that make me realise I am as normal as everyone else, For letting me know it is okay to love whoever I want to, For being your lovely, beautiful and talented self. Many thanks Sylvie
I've never heard anyone quite be able to put across how depressive days feel like the most glum and grey days in the world the way Dodie has here. It's like a someone has drained the milkshake out of a cup and just left you with an empty container. I really hope that things start to improve for Dodie and anyone else struggling with this soon. It sucks. I've been there too much and too often, but still managing to find a path to slightly better things. In fact I'm doing a mental health recovery series on my channel is anyone wants to check it out, I do one specifically about depression here: https://youtu.be/2iIphv1vGeE Have a good day everyone, and if it's not a good just have a day that's okay too. Keep fighting ❤️
I understand how Dodie feels. There are just those moments where you wake up and feel like you are not yourself and you're not functioning correctly. I feel that way today and other days. There are sometimes when I just want to be by myself in my room but I'm not depressed then. But there are other times when I don't want to do anything and not deal with anyone and that's when I'm depressed.
I've only experienced depersonalisation/derealization once, and it was absolutely horrible. It lasted for a week or two, and it got so scary I had a terrible panic attack and my mum took me to the doctor because I kept insisting that something was really wrong in my brain (I didn't know what it was back then). Thankfully it went away after the attack was over, but damn, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Recently, I've been going through a lot of stress, panic and sadness over so many things. Two of my closest friends have ditched me, and they were even talking about every tiny thing they hate about me on an Instagram livestream. I clicked on it, thinking "Oh I love their live streams!" They didn't see I had joined it, so they continued talking. Then, when they finally saw I was there, they said, "OH SCREW THE B!TCH IS HERE!" Then, it ended. I'm panicking about secondary school, constantly. I can't have detention. I have dance every night. I MUST remember my books, but I'll spend a whole morning checking I have them. I HAVE to remember to eat something, and not spend my lunch break reading, researching or doing homework. I'm terrified of having fun, because I might forget to do something. I don't want to get lost, I have tests on the first day back. I keep trying to change my mind set, but I can't. Whenever I want to talk to my parents about it, I freeze up... It's not depression. I know it isn't. I doubt it's anxiety. I don't know what it is. It's just constant fear of rejection and doing things wrong...
Your videos remind me of the old days on YouTube where people just talked to a camera about themselves. I LOVE it! Are you still dealing with depersonalization/derealization? I get the same way you do while depressed, I just don't care about anything and want to sleep forever.
okay nvm, you answered it in the video. gee I'm so sorry :( I feel the same way, I'm so happy someone understands, but I'm so terribly sorry you understand.
jada lora2017-08-18 07:57:37 (edited 2017-08-18 07:58:43 )
Holy shit holy shit holy shit. I feel the same way. I've always thought it was just me. I don't understand what this feeling is, or how to conquer it, but it's similar to what you're talking about. I don't feel like I'm fully awake, or alive. I feel like my mind and body are just waiting for something that I don't know anything about, and it's driving me to be emotionless, and tired all the time. I'm only 13, and my parents aren't very understanding, at all, so I don't talk to them about personal stuff. I feel like I need to be somewhere else all the time, and all my emotions are there at the place I don't know. My parents won't sign me up for help, so I have no one to talk to.
I thought that no one understands me and that it can't be that bad, I can't have depression. But after hearing you talking about makes me think that maybe it's more than just feeling down. I can get myself up from that if it's light and not very deep but for some time I couldn't even stop crying to get to the next class and I went home tears rapidly going everywhere, snot all over my facd because I didn't have a paper with me. It was horrible, nothing felt real, everything is weird because how in the hell do people have brains and they do stuff like invent and discover electricity. Existential stuff was thightly stuck to that same thing. And for the first time I feel that it might be normal, that it can happen and I can find love and happiness and that someone understands me. I wish I had a friend like you, you are amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you
I come back to this video so much. Right now I'm in a very bad place. I've been on meds for months, none of them are working. It feels like there's no getting out of this. And I'm very sick of peoples "it will get better!" viewpoint. Obviously it is nice to hear that, even if you don't believe it. But sometimes I just need to know someone has truly felt what I feel, and I'm not alone. So then I come to dodie.
Hey, I feel you're talking about Brain Fog more than depression, since I had each of them on its own and I had them together, they're different, but I can be depressed and sad while having a clear head! That's why I am talking about Brain Fog, as also I can get foggy in the days when I felt good.
I woke up today and I was like.. so happy and in a second everything changed and it just turned from feeling happy to feeling so so sad and like, with no point and I just didn't know what to do and I felt ..nothing but when I watched your video I just.. I still feel like, nothing but.. at least I don't feel alone.
I wish more than anything that I could talk with you about DP/DR. I've had it since July 2015, but I've learned so much about it, and about myself with it, and I've developed such an appreciation for it and where I am now in life because of it. I still suffer with it, and have some days so much worse than others, but I don't ever get depressed about it. (just for other unexplainable reasons), and I don't ever panic anymore about it. I haven't had a DP/DR related panic attack in so long. I'd love to just chat about this. I'd love to try to help a little. Much love and light to you dear Dodie. <3
This is actually me this entire summer and still am. I have been a huge ball of depression and, sadly, depression makes me a bit bitchy because I'm mad at myself for not being like I normally am. Thus, this makes me bitchy to other people. Depression sucks so much!
same. I think I've gotten depression over this summer. Emotionless, numb, and everything is anxious physically. But emotionally I'm just nothing. I don't even know anymore. I gotta go drink some tea.
I remember like... 3 years ago? I was reading this fantasy book about a world where once you turn 16 you get surgery to look like a beautiful perfect version of yourself, and the main character find out once she got the surgery that her and all these people were being kind of drugged to make themselves duller, kind of uncomprehending of the world? And then she and her friend found out once that when they didnt eat their (drugged) food, after a while when their hunger really kicked in they suddenly had this moment where it felt like a layer of cellophane was peeling from their eyes and they could see and understand everything clearly and be in the moment and that really stuck with me and it also the moment im waiting for
Would it be okay if I wrote down what she's says and give it to my doctor? I just can't articulate how I feel and this describes it perfectly. That wouldn't be like plagiarism would it? I'm not sure how that works.
I wanted to comment on your "will I feel spaced out in the future?" video but I can't find it :(. I felt spaced-out most of my 20's, alot of times after eating. Iron deficiency can do that, or low sugar. But after I was 26, it went away. Weird. Hope it goes away for you too. The feeling of "Reality" is very sweet, and addicting, like you always want to feel it again, but it really is fleeting (for me, anyhow). Your spirit is good, and you are loved by MANY. I will look forward to more videos from you. You are the part of the Glue that keeps humanity together, you really are, <3.
This 100% just described my past two weeks. Last week everything was so good and then yesterday I started feeling, well nothing. and today was just straight up hell. it feels like I'm not fully awake, I just wanna not be here. Everything seems hopeless and colorless. I don't bother trying anymore and it feels like it's never going to get better. it will tho, and I know that. but right now it just feels like nothing. and that has made my anxiety worse. my eyes will start stinging and I just blink a lot and it's hard to look someone in their eyes. I kinda wanna talk to a theraphist and maybe even get some medication. but my mom doesn't belive me and won't take me. she only makes jokes about it. Ik that sounded super depressing but, I had to get it out somewhere
I feel like there is a giant black and blue pit in my chest and things just fall into it, and it feels all heavy but empty and hurts but also numb and I have lived with this pit for five years. Some days I feel okay, others I don't and I keep telling myself that I will feel good again but it is hard to forget that I will also feel bad again.
i'm in college now my second year and i always feel this way when i'm far away from home i wasn't that happy back in morocco but not as the same way here i tried everything weed alcohol i even tried extasie the day before today but it messed me up so much you can't even imagine fodd doesn't make me feel better going out either and i try so hard to open up to my friends but they don't fucking understand and think that m just sad or making stuff up honestly no idea what they think about me i didn't go to school this week and i feel so bad about it i really need help but i don't know where can i get it
so I literally just found this channel and already it's the most relatable thing ever. and when I say 'just found' I mean like 2 minutes ago. also it's 2 am so can you tell how far up I am on the fuck-my-life-o-meter? (I'm sorry this comment is such a mess idk what I'm doing anymore)
When ever i ask my parents to get me tested for depression they just say i want attention or that im not trying to be happy. I havnt left my room in days because i just dont have the strength to do anything. My parents get mad at me for feeling depressed. And when my mum gets mad, she hits me. I used to self harm and my dad yelled at me while my mum just said "I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed" when they found out. It sucks feeling unloved and like you don't belong. But its even worse when you cant do anything about it.
I don't know why I'm sad all the time now. Im perfectly fine when I'm with other people but as soon as I'm home by myself in my room I get so sad and tired not sleepy just tired. I don't think I'm depressed I just am sad. I don't want to do anything anymore because it's not the same. I don't know why I just am
I am crying right now because I typed "am I depressed" on the search and found your vid. It is so relatable...I am in bed. I work night shifts, 12 hour at a time. My next one is coming over the weekend. I hope I will drag myself out of bed and join a spinning class in about 2 hours. It is now 4 pm, I woke up around 3 AM and all I did is eat and slip back to bed and feel like crying, and guilt af....Love from the States. No, I don't have active suicidal ideations but sometimes, I feel like "not existing" would be much better.
Idk when I get really really bad I dissociate and everything feels cold and and empty and hazy and I'm so tired I just have to lay down on the floor because it feels like my body is being crushed by some sort of freezing cold fog :( anyways I'm with u dod we'll get better together also meds are helpful
I felt depressed after going through a heartbreak. I'm ok now but I tear up periodically and freeze up whenever it crosses my mind. It ruined me during my finals for the end of the year. I couldn't think of anything except him shattering my heart into a million pieces. I felt like I was mourning a death. I couldn't read, because my brain could not process words when thoughts and memories of him flooded my mind. Smiling felt like a chore, unnatural and weird for a while. And when I would see him in the halls, I felt like I was walking on invisible stairs. I felt like I was going to fall down. My breathing and heart rate quickened, and I had uncontrollable shakes. I felt like an elephant had decided to pull up a chair and take a seat on my chest. I felt actual pain in my heart, and I'm not trying to be poetic here. I still need help and it's been three months. At least I can distract myself now. I don't feel the intense pain, but I do long for him periodically. I sound crazed, don't I? I hate how I feel this way towards another person and he didn't care enough to let me down easy. It surely implies many things about his character, but I can't shake the thought that I still feel like I am in love with him. I feel betrayed and lost. Dodie, you understand, right?
I feel like I'm the only one who blames my constant cycle of sadness and worry on hormones... because these days everytime you're young and crying in front of someone, it's hormones. Or maybe it's just me being brainwashed into thinking it is.
I honestly can't tell if I'm depressed or not because it's just the same all the time. I'm unmotivated, and I fell this almost physically painful pressure on my chest that won't go away. I don't know. I just don't want to feel it anymore.
I'm sorry I don't know why I decided to make this about me. Sorry. I'm done
wait dodie!! Do you also have thyroid problems?? Bc I have an under active thyroid (hashimoto's disease) and derealize like all the time and maybe there's a connection?
It's hard to be depressed as a teen, even harder than it is already, because people will keep saying "it's just a teenage depression, get over yourself, in a few days you'll feel better". like they're not even trying to understand that I sometimes feel sad or angry because of hormones and some days I will feel like the most worthless piece of crap on this planet, like I'm a tiny, sad speck in a giant space, weighed down to the ground, forced to do nothing, forced to stay low and keep walking even though I want to break down and cry. I've had an argument recently with two of my "friends" and it was over text and they kept accusing me of things and I tried to say stop it, you can't even see what you are doing. They didn't see how I was crying my eyes out, not being able to breathe, not being able to think anything except for "you're worthless. they are right. you are a terrible person." I said to one of them "do you know what you are doing right now" and she said "yeah, you're having a breakdown" and kept cutting me with accusations and insults. She said id casually, too. Like "who cares if you have a breakdown, I want to say this to you right now, you need to understand how mad I am at you". I ended up calling another friend and calmed myself down, but the feeling wasn't gone. It always takes at least a full night to get rid of the feeling. But this time I know it won't go away completely.
I dunno what it is, people irritate me so quickly, i dont smile, i struggle to enjoy things, i wanna be in bed all day and i wear my headphones for probably about 5 hrs a day. I always see the bad side of things and lately ive been panicking about a lot of pointless things
Omg 4:16 to 4:31 is how I feel most of the time and I absolutely hate it. Does anyone know how to help me feel happiness and how to have fun again. It's like I'll have days where nothing will cheer me up. For example 2016 Christmas I didn't feel excited at all and it felt wrong 😪😭
I live in a a very sexist environment, I'm a teenage girl and a huge feminist, but no matter how many battles I fight within my friends, family, and teachers, trying to just show them I'm not helpless. I've been shamed for my period, harassed for my sexuality, a boy even threatened to raped many times. But when I try to reach out for help, try to get some justice, I'm told it's me just being dramatic, it's hormones. It's my fault. I'm at war with myself. Some parts of me tell me to let it go, or that I am being dramatic, other parts are screaming to get up and do something, and others just want to hide in my bed, and cry. I think I'm depressed, but then again, maybe I am being dramatic. I'm so painfully aware of my existence that I've lost who I am. Now I'm just a dark collage of voices in my mind that bicker and yell like children. Ha, I guess they are right, I am dramatic, look at that sentence I just wrote.
I can feel like Dodie sometimes but I don't really know if I have depression. I don't really say "hey, I have this mental illness!!" because I'm not sure. Sometimes I can feel like my whole body is heavy, I don't want to do anything, I don't shower, I eat just because I have too but I don't enjoy the food. When I'm actually sad the first thing I can think of is "I want to kill myself". I almost had eating desorders, too. I don't feel comfortable in places with lot of people, or parties, but if I don't go I feel really sad because I think I'm just letting my teenager years go away. I'm not even sure about this but I think one time I had a panic attack (And I say I'm not sure because I don't really know how it is supposed to feel). I keep a lot of things for myself, I don't tell my family and it makes me feel like shit but I feel that if I say something I'll fuck everything up. I have lots of insecurities with my body, with my face, with my personality. Sometimes I feel like I only am here to make people feel bad. I don't know if this is normal (I'm 15 years old) or if it is depression. I remember being sad since I was 8 because I didn't have more than one friend, I had this girl who I think hated me, and when I grew up people (even my friend) will make fun of me for my body. Then my friend made another friend and since I was 12 I'm feeling like this, but every time is worse. I'm not the kind of person who just talks about it, but I feel like I need help.
Idk if I'm depressed, broken or just being dramatic. Since I started back at school (year 10) I constantly feel like everyone is judging me and everyone hates me and I just feel rly self conscious all the bloody time and especially this past week I feel like I've just sort of flatlined emotionally and I'm emotionally drained I just can't focus or do anything productive and I'm stressing about my future like 'am I going to fail my GCSEs?' 'am I taking the right GCSEs?' and 'wtf am I going to do in my future?' one of the worst things is that it's my birthday in almost a week (Oct 2nd wahey) and I don't feel up to having a party or at the very least celebrating with close friends and now I'm just waffling on please send help and if you've read all of this then congratubloodylations you now know wayyyy too much about my sad broken little life I'm sorry 🙃
I know what im feeling but at the same time i cant help but think im over reacting and it will be over soon but when i waje up everyday i know its not over and i dont think a normal person would climb intp a closet to have a panic attack because the person in rhe next room is shouting but maybe im just being crazy or making myself believe but how could i do that and if i was then it wouldnt constantly be on my mind like i feel nothingness and emptiness and confusion but im just not working like i used to and i jyst wish i wasnt so crazy but im kibda half diagnosed cause im not talking to anyone but i have been reffered but wgat if it jyst stops. Does thst mean that im attention seeking. I dobt kmow anymore. I jyst want to be nornal tbh...
I now this is a old video but I feel the same way I fell like I have depersonalization but I'm young and can't tell my parents we are old fashion and I expect therapy to be expensive and I'm poor so I deal with it
okay no matter how weird this is gonna sound, but I'm just gonna say: Satan is a father of lies. who has eyes, let them see. probably does not make sense at all, I get that, (it never used to make sense to me in the past either), but it hopefully will make sense, and it will make even a rainy, depressed day into an amazing day. (: What we all feel (and I bet we all have "these" days - some of us less often then the others) is one great lie. We weren't made to feel that way. We weren't made to think that way. We were created for something bigger than that, for something bigger than we could ever understand. have a great day
@doddlevloggle "Twinkle twinkle tear drops ...They all are sparkling around your eyes...drawing its mark down your cheeks...Most beautiful of which is your honestiness ..." nothing but xo...xo...xo <3 :)
I don't want to be me and I'm ashamed of that but I can't do this anymore. It depresses me but I don't have 'depression' . Ugh what am I even doing I just want attention
I am depressed and i worry so much and im scared my friend will try to hang himself again and im sorry this comment makes you sad. I don’t know what to do with myself and most days i feel nothing. Like I am nothing. I don’t want to die because my family could never recover but I want to stop existing for a while
The way you articulate this is amazing!! The part about happy mind and depressed mind not having empathy for each other...wow...resonated deep with me x
"I just feel this constant longing for something and I'm not getting it." That's exactly that. You've described absolutely perfectly what I feel (If I can talk about feeling anything at all). I've been dealing with depression for years and that's hard. I love those kind of videos. Thank you for sharing what you feel: makes me feel less lonely.
I didn't know what depression really was and I thought I've been having just more sad days but this video describes me and my life... thanks 🙏🏼 maybe this will help - me and more people to get more educated and get help 🙏🏼 stay strong xx
Literally, this is the first video about depression that I have found that truly describes depression without it being over the top or emotional, or anything like that. I love this. Thank you
I feel you sisss. I also think you're the bravest person I know for being so open at your channel and let us see the genuine you. I like you :) You're awesome. B'bye!
This is such an important video. I have felt exactly like that for the past month but I just brush it off thinking I can't be depressed, I don't have real reason to be depressed. You being so open helps so many people.
When you said "I just feel this constant longing for something, and I'm not getting it." That completely resonates with me. I feel this practically all the time. Wow.. I might be depressed. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to show a tough day. You helped me see that I may possibly be depressed. So thank you
I appreciate you. It feels like no one understands until they speak on it. Spreading awareness and helping stop the stigma all with your voice, you did that. Take it day by day baby!!!!
I'm going through this exact thing again. Last time I watched this I was on the upswing, and now I'm on the way way downswing. But this helped. When I get like this I feel alien and in a foreign land no matter what I do, but this made me feel slightly less alien. So thank you.
you're wonderful i teared up cause that's exactly how i feel sometimes and struggling with that in such a young age is terrible i luv ya you inspire me to be someone better every day i started to sing cause of you and was encouraged to follow my dream cause of you again you're wonderful
Wow this was amazing to see. To know someone else feels this way. That I'm not alone when I'm like this. Which is like all the time. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing 💛
Omfg yes. The difference between the chemical and emotional depression. I mean I know in reality they coincide but HOLY FUCK I've been looking for too long at how to describe the difference properly. You put it...EXACTLY into words. Thank you dodie. Love you and hope you all the best💖✨
i keep coming back to this video because its so relatable. There are days in which i feel so unmotivated and messy, but im glad im not the only who goes through this.
Wow, even when you're depressed you are so precious and you still care. I have had my first bouts and experiences with depression over the past 3 years I would say. I feel alot better now, but I still have moments that are similar to what you described. It is bizarre to feel this way, when for years I never did. And I can relate to you when you were saying I want to go back, or I remember when I was content like every day for a really long time. Where did that go? The weird thing for me now is it is like a roller coaster. I have days where I feel amazing and everything runs smooth and I have so much energy and go all day and other days where I feel like I can't do anything. It is so strange to me. Anyhow. I do anything and everything to stay UP. Looking after ourselves is SO important. I love that you were eating green beans while you're depressed. That to me is huge. It means you still care about yourself
The best advice I give myself when I try so hard to feel like I did before is, allow yourself to feel this way, it's ok to not feel ok, and then I let myself sleep more, not shower, not go outside and everything I feel like doing. Maybe it'll help not to think you have to fix how you feel just let it be, it's ok, it's good it's part of being you.
Dodie. I love ur music and u!! I love who u are and what ur about. U remind me of myself so much. I feel exactly how ur feeling everyday and I am only 14. I don't know what's real anymore and I feel blind. I have help but it feels like it's going to take 1 billion years to "fix" me. I just want u to know that I know how u feel and everything u are going through is the same as me. Love u dodie ❤️
After watching this video I went to my kitchen and got myself a nice cup of ice water and took out some healthy food(mangoes, celery, tomatoes) because you were eating some of those green things and it made my insides feel good. So I went and ate some good stuff and I'm feeling much better now. Thank you.
Oh my god this video makes me feel like I'm not alone. Like you have no idea how much this is helping me out. I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I'm so sick of people saying that it's hormones or mood swings and it's really annoying and ugh I'm so sick of all of this
dont know but my eyes are tearing , thank you for explaining how I feel , I'm bad at expressing my feelings , that depressed me the most no one could understand what's in my head , hope you have a good day 💜
Okay, so this is my first time watching your videos and i can honestly say that this is me a lot. I understand you. I subscribed because i relate to you like so hard lmao.
I honestly needed this video rn because it shows that I'm not alone in the position I'm in. Thank you Dodie for making me feel less alone with how I feel and with my depression. Thank you so so much and I know you wont see this but we all loe and appreciate you and are happy to have you alive, thanks for all that you do!!! stay safe and look after yourself <3
When I get as low as you talk about here, I put no expectations on myself, I just think in the moment, and listen to my favourite music while I wait to sleep so my mind won't start to wander or get stressed out. X
I just now found your channel and I love it because you're honest and not faking your appearance for others. I love you ^^ for being yourself <3 stay strong
It's so nice that you post these things and don't just show people the best parts of your life, you are actually real and share your low points and show us that it's okay to be open about these things. I love you so much aaahh ❤️
I always feel like this around the first and last parts of a school year. Along with the middle of the year when I'm not motivated for anything. I don't want to leave my room. I don't want to talk to my family. I don't know why, and it sucks.
This video puts into words every single thing I've been thinking about, but never knew how to articulate. Wow. I just, I'm so happy you're willing to be so transparent about things like this, cause a lot of times people (like me) just try to repress it which just makes it worse, and listening to people (like you) talk about it without trying to hide anything means so much. I can't put into words how thankful I am for this video, and It makes me feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you Dodie:)
i love this video. it makes me feel better about having bad depressed days. like i shouldn't make myself feel worse for having a bad day i should just keep trying and i should remember that i was happy and i can be happy i again.
whenever i imagine what it mist have been like for people to be depressed before people had discovered what it was/that it was a real mental disorder, a chemical imbalance at that, i can't help but think about how a hundred years from now people are going to be getting full proper treatment for things we still cant really understand/fix (like depersonalization) and are gonna look back at those of us suffering rn and say, "wow, cant imagine how they managed." stay strong.
HUNNY! I have been dealing with this for quite some time, same thing you have described. Except mine sort of sprung up out of smoking weed (which i will never do again). But i have learned to do the things that scare me, to put myself in situations where i fear i am going to feel the worst, just so i can truthfully remind myself that i am in control. Recently ive been trying to put my phone down more. It makes me feel like i am here on earth more than in my head. So often it feels like no one understands where my head is at, not even me, but ive found comfort in realizing that there are people, like yourself, who share the same feelings as me. I am not alone. Most of the time its like the air around me is thick, like the world and this life are parts of a video game where my emotions are raging and are never all in one place at one time, as if they have the control of me. At its peak i begin to question my own existence, am i here?, is this really me?, where am i?, and thoughts like those are the most frightening. Try to touch things when you feel that way, sometimes i close my eyes and i actually feel like i can see and feel things more clearly, which i understand sounds odd, but these are some things that have helped me. Ive never understood mental illness until i contracted one. Life is outta hand, so messy and painful, confusing and beautiful, but you just have to know somewhere deep inside of you that you will come out of it. Know that you will get out of it, and you are never all that far from feeling "real". You are real and beautiful, and there is an unbelievable harsh reality that depersonalization brings with it, but i am happy to have seen life through this lens, it has taught me immense things about myself. Anyways, i could go on for days about this, but i love the person you are, you inspire me, and you are not alone.
Wow I love this so much! So honest. If anyone wants to check out a spoken word I wrote on my depression, it's on my channel. I need to post the other poem I wrote before that one as well!
That's exactly how i am when im depressed. There's days where im at my happiest and i feel like everything is gonna be okay and the next day i just feel like im in a black hole. and it seems like nothing is gonna get me out and i have the same feeling of needing something but not knowing what i need and its frustrating because it seems like nothing is ever gonna help and I feel so empty inside that I just lay there, not doing anything but lay there and stare at my wall and be clouded with my thoughts. Im not writing this so people can pity me but im writing it so people know they aren't alone and that depression is something real not a "trend". So for the people who fake being depressed because you think its "cool". Im glad YOU can "turn off" your depression whenever you please.
I woke up one day and realized I hadn't felt depressed in months. I hadn't struggled with depression long-term.... so I don't think this will be the case for everyone. But it happened to me. I don't remember it happening... or why or how but I just realized it hadn't been a thing in a really long time. Since then I still get the odd day that can be accurately described by the events in this video... but it's rare. Hopefully that gives some people hope.
wow...I haven't known this channel for long but looking at her other videos it is so different...I've never seem her like this all gloomy and down never even heard her swear and, I just saw another side to her.
Just the state of my room when I'm depressed compared to when I'm healthy is so so different. Food wrappers everywhere, old towels and dirty clothes covering every bit of carpet, cluttered desk, unmade bed, tons of water glasses accumulating on my bedside table. And my anxiety wont let me sleep in a gross messy room so I'm always extra tired and yeah. High five for mental illness ://
I kid you not you have described everything that goes through my head and what I feel when I have these days. Wow I always thought no one understood you have proved me wrong. Shit thank you
When I'm depressed, I barely do anything. But if I get myself to get up and get showered and open my shades and go outside, I feel a lot better. Sometimes if I eat too much food and regret eating grossly during the day, I get in bed around 6pm and lay there till I fall asleep 5 hours later... so yeah
i kinda love this though. like, of course im sorry you have to deal with this because it sucks. but this is such a real representation of depression. its not poetry and tea, its not horrific and gory... its very boring and shitty. its VERY eating edemame beans in the middle of your floor, trying to read a pamphlet and then going to bed.
Medication is pretty amazing. It can take a while to find a treatment that works for you (and it takes about a month for it to kick in), but when you do, your whole world changes. I was on the fence about meds as well, but when I had a severe depressive episode at the same time I lost health insurance (I'm not in the UK) I became pretty desperate to try anything that would just make me feel better. Now that I'm in a healthy place I find it stunning that so many people who have histories of severe, chronic depression won't try medication. It seriously works.
I understand the part when you said you're not depressed you think things like "How was I ever depressed" or stuff like that. When i'm happy I feel the same way about when I was depressed where I cannot remember what it felt like or how I could've been so low before when I feel so normal other times.
So I'm on a Dodie binge and I'm not sure if I should watch her happy/music videos because even though the music is amazing and makes me feel really good, and her general vibe is so nice, I know I'll get super jealous of how beautiful and talented and perfect she is, and I'll fall into the hole of loving my idols while also being so angry with them. I'll literally be on YouTube watching Dodie and Tessa and all of my others faves and internally battling with myself for how I feel. Urgh. Lovely video though, I've watched it so many times at this point and it never stops being relatable. Hope you're doing well, Dods. 💕
Girl I know what it is, it's quite normal in the last few months and I felt like you feel like your brain can not cling to absolutely nothing and you feel like your head weighs a lot, and it's all you Seemingly indifferent and stupid, but as I said, it is quite normal and will not last forever as soon as I get it right, and you will be fine
That happened last year, it felt like a dream. My mind wasn't where it was supposed to be.. and I was sad that week so that created depression! Yay me e.e
coming from a depressed person, I didn't know that there were circumstances where depression shuts on and off. is this the chemical side or life event and attitude side? not a sarcastic comment, I'm dead serious.
my mom thought my depressed was cured after i stopped taking my medicine (doctor didnt tell me to, i just did) and i am at a point i can live without it without being on the edge of killing myself but i still am very depressed which was a shock to her lol
my depression works so diffrenty compared to a lot of people ,i make my self go out and exlpore the world sand show my family and friends a happy me but then once i get alone i curl up in a dark corner and let everything negative get into my head .
I know this so well. And i hate the time when i'm so painfully sarcastic to others, because they don't get what i feel... And it hurts when they're trying to chear you up.. but you just can't and then they are sad for you.
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the void2017-07-11 17:08:57 (edited 2017-07-11 17:09:59 )
I hate people who say 'ohh, my life would be so much better if I didn't have depression or anxiety' like, you have the perfect life... you don't have depression or anxiety, you can do things I can't, i can't even talk to certain people or do certain things without having a breakdown whereas you do it like it's nothing! Or when people say they're depressed because they're upset, you don't know how it feels to have to drag yourself out of bed every morning and fight through the days...
After five years, I'm finally not depressed after figuring out im transgender. and im getting on hormones soon, which is better than when i used to do hardcore drugs lol. so thats cool.
this is so me and i never know what to do when i feel depressed. i don't really like to talk about it with others and i think the only person who knows about how i feel is my best friend but she worries a lot so i can't really talk about it with her. i just know that she won't really listen and she would only just think about the whole thing not really listening to what i say. all she thinks about is MY FRIEND IS DEPRESSED! and not how i feel. so yeah
Can you make a video about how to tell if you have depression/feel depressed or not? Like what is the difference between having depression or just feeling depressed
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Anna I2017-07-06 18:40:34 (edited 2017-07-06 18:46:45 )
love that video for some reason idk... it just feels so real
literally when i enter The Spiral™ i can't face even leaving my bed so i just legit lie there with my laptop balanced on my stomach, watching louis theroux on netflix (for the 700th time) with a milk carton, belvita soft bakes, pure strawberry nesquik powder, sticky rib pot noodle and doritos and dairy milk, bored eating my way thru the day, with my gross hoodie that reeks of stale smoke and grimy sports direct trackies, my room smells of ash and my bed is disgusting and probs sweaty as coz ive been lying in it all day, and my unwashed hair goes matted and gross from being tied into the same bun for 5 days straight.
oh geez i get the same thing where everything just feels like it's not there? like i'm just far away from everything that's happening sometimes i'll snap out of it and i'm like "oh right everything's real i forgot" but it'll last for like a few seconds i'll go back to it osetimes i legitimately believe any second reality just gonna break and i'm gonna be like "yep i knew this was all fake" of course it doesn't happen but yeah
today is one of those days. i feel heavy and bored. everything i do is just an action. im feeling no satisfaction from the things that usually make me smile. just saying here now i feel uncomfortable and im experiencing this longing feeling where, no matter what i do, im not fufilled. i havent brushed my teth today. nor have i taken my asthma medication. so now im jsut going to go to bed and listen to this owl which randomly started hooting during the making of this comment. ~ a depressed british bean <3 (sorry. i needed escape)
I've been feeling depressed for about 6 years and I keep thinking why ain't I happy I'm whole and I have a family that loves me so why do I feel worthless without a purpose. Everyone seems to have their life figured and I feel stuck. I always check my mood in the morning I always check my mood. I hate when I feel happy because I know it's not going to last and it's not because of certain situations I just fucking do that it's like I love being sad which I don't but I can't find any other reason for feeling this is way it is so frustrating. I stay in pajamas all day and to avoid conversations like "Hey Diana how are you" I lock myself in my room even eating seems difficult. I can't sleep and in the morning I can't get up. I'm glued to my bed. College rn seems like a drag I have finals and I feel like I can't even pick up my pencil. I just want to fucking be a normal happy person. why is it so hard? Am I making it hard? and if I am why? why do I do that because I just don't feel in control of anything anymore.
I feel some of what you are saying but mine is to do with me missing routine, I have finished my a levels and I miss the business in my routine. I know that it's because I'm bored and I want to go out and do things but can't afford to do things that I know will stop my boredom. Ugh... Yea sorry had to get that off my chest But I know it's not depression, I've seen family members depressed so I do know that what I am feeling isn't depression, I'm just bored
In the same space right now - not only physically ill and waiting for scans, but mental illness is being a right bastard. At the point where I'm trying so many tips and tricks to get myself out of this big dip but it just frustrates me more when they don't work. And like, things have been great, but then bloody terrible things have happened this year too, and I just can't really seem to feel anything but sad, hopeless numbness. Either that or something really great will happen and then afterwards my swing back into a depressive state gets worse. I just want to get better and I think because I'm ill, my meds aren't working like they should.
when you opened the fridge i thought youll try fit in it. i do that. why idk i just do and i just sit and its not good for my food and the doors open and its cold but i just sit in my fridge with all of content on the floor in front of me.
lol i just feel like giving no emotion towards anything I do like i usually just have an annoyed expression with everything but im not sad, mad, happy or anything. just no emotion. like i don't even really find anything funny/happy/sad anymore, YEET WHAT ARE FEELINGS 🤷🏻♀️
I'm so down right in this moment it's 1am and I just woke up because I fell asleep at 8pm. I feel so lonely right now that's why I came here (to feel understood?) I just wanna watch some Ghibli(is that how it's written) movies while eating some peas but I have last day of school tomorrow Idk if I'll go tho my friends are at some party right now without me. I couldn't go because of physical problems(pain etc.) and at first a friend told me she would stay at home with me and I was so happy but then she told me she would go to the party because she didn't want to upset our other friends. I think that's why I'm in this situation right now? That's just such a bad reason to be depressed I can't force my friends to stay in with me but still I'm so sad that they went why am I such a bad person I don't get it? What's wrong with me
I thought I was the only one who felt this. I thought I was insane. but then I got diagnosed with major depression and now I have an eating disorder. I don't have any motivation anymore. it's effort for me to even watch TV or go to the bathroom. I don't want to sleep but at the same time I'm tired. I don't want to go out. I don't want to do anything. I feel nothing. it's like the world is against me and is punishing me for having depression. I try not to harm myself but it's just too hard. yes my username is lmao kill me because I always say it as a joke. only if they knew I was actually being serious. I laugh it off. act happy with friends but at night I cry on my own not knowing what to do. I've had suicidal thoughts I can't stop them from appearing. please someone tell me what to do
My girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me recently. and i got soo sad and depressed since just the other day, when i found out she had cheated on me with a guy a couple days before she broke up with me. Since i found out i have been so down and sad and just "broken" now. I dont know what to do, how to react. Was it my fault? did i fuck up? could i have changed this somehow?
U know what fuck it this is late as fuck but I need to rant lmaoo when I'm depressed I don't wanna do anything I don't want to shower, I don't want to get dressed and I always ALWAYS forget these feeling aren't normal it's not normal to not feel anything and I always forget that depression comes in so many ways so I always bring myself down by thinking what if I'm subconsciously faking it what if I'm just really lazy, there's people out there who have it way worse and it's so annoying to have these thought cause it feels like your being invalidated and you never know where to place yourself and it's just ughhhhhh
"Look how depressed I am" because depression can be seen through what you look like. You're so depressed you made a video about it. Also you've curled your hair because you're so depressed, right? "Ohh it's so bad".
2017. Or the year YouTube goes to shit and more and more youtubers expose their first world problems to their young audience. You're making such a big deal of your 'depression' I doubt you even know what you're talking about.
I think u are still lucky, u should thanks god. Before i go to the therapist, i can't even eat or walk to the kitchen. I slept on my bed all day, my mom bring food and water to my room and i just ate them a little little litte bit. I lost sooo much weight, my hand fill by a bunch of scars. and i thanks god, because i slowly became better. and at least i'm not kill myself yet... 😊
That is the healthiest snack I've ever seen someone have when they are depressed.
7057 likesReplies (45)
One time after I had a panic attack and ate an entire bag of carrots
272 likesDustin Padgett I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything while I’ve been in my worst state tbh. I tend to just not eat which Ik isn’t healthy. I’m so proud of dodie for being able to look after herself even when she feels so down because that’s one of the hardest things to do in my opinion
79 likesI eat like 2 bags of cheetos or bergers
29 likesim literally in a depressed mood and eating cheetos
14 likesI'm eating pancakes while having an existential crisis after barely eating for a few days because I'm so tired:)
14 likesWhen I'm down I just stop eating lmao
10 likesthen again, i would eat anything when i'm in a depressive episode.
7 likesDodie: beans
11 likesMe: bucked of icecream, 10 muffins, 7 twinkies, 12 lollypops and 2 liters of chocolate milk (hot)
😛
Lol true when I'm depressed I'm like very unhealthy I'm like eating lots of pizza and a can of coke or eat lots of cookies
6 likes@Allison Bryant that actually sounds awesome
2 likesWhat is she eating again?
1 likeSame thing i thought
1 like@Chelsea Padilla Edamame beans. They are often used in asian cooking I think?
1 likeI can tell when I'm in a bad state of mind because I get the urge to go and buy bags and bags of candy. Just sitting on my couch, watching netflix and eating candy all day
5 likesG.I Joe literally me too
0 likesExactly! I usually eat Doritos and Chips XD
0 likesDustin Padgett life hack: if you’re constantly depressed, put healthy snacks at the front of your fridge so you’ll eat those and not an entire jar of peanut butter
2 likeshonestly i do the same though. i mean everything tastes like nothin anyway. might as well be healthy
0 likesmya i’m exactly the same. i’ll either spend the day sitting next to the fridge or the kitchen will become my worst enemy
0 likesand tons of make up
0 likesWhen I'm deppressed I binge eat frozen peas...
0 likesIkr, when I'm in a depressed mood i eat cup noodles
0 likesLilliana when I’m in a really bad place I either don’t eat at all or eat too much. I gained too much bcuz of it and then I started feeling insecure about my weight so I stopped eating
1 likeWhen I have my daily break downs I eat an entire jar of marmite lmao
0 likes@Allison Bryant omg.. i just did that on saturday... ate em with tarragon basil salad dressing.but added the wasabi from my grocery store sushi i ate cuz i didnt feel like cooking.
0 likesBut carrots have the best crunch.. like its interrupting the shit thoughts. It used to be a bag of chips but carrots are my healthy go to......and cheap as chips
@Chelsea Padilla edamame beans in the pods. Yum
0 likes@o ya I hear ya.. me too ..gained too much..which is why im trying to eat carrots instead of chips now. But i just figured out this morning ..ive gained 70 lbs. 😶
0 likesFor a lot of people, depression kind of makes everything taste the same, mentally. Like you can taste the difference, but you don't even care what it tastes like, you know? Because when you're depressed, you know that no matter how good the food tastes, it won't make things better. So you may as well eat healthy if you're not getting anything out of your ice cream experience.
2 likesWhen I'm depressed I just don't want to eat and it happens a lot
0 likesI usually eat chocolate
0 likesHah I'm sat here on the floor in a depressive episode eating a chocolate Easter egg that I don't want to eat and I feel kind of sick and I just want to be ok
0 likesI eat..... Sooooo unhealthy.
0 likesDustin Padgett I eat like popcorn and shit and she’s eating that damn that’s actually good for her
1 like@Laz Tir i had cheetos earlier today
0 likes@Allison Bryant amen to that.
0 likesIm suffering from Severe Depression and Im eating Seafood Scampi
0 likesThat i cooked by the way
0 likesMy healthiest snack to eat while depressed is air lol i don't eat ANYTHING, its just the act, the physical PROCESS of eating is just too much, like I can't do it
0 likesI literally eat so much when I get depressed lmfao 💀
0 likesI eat grapes when I’m depressed because eating unhealthy makes me hate myself and I can’t take anymore of that.
0 likesI either eat everything I find or nothing.
0 likesLike I go to the fridge and take whatever I like. I eat cereal, bread, candy and especially chocolate
Or
I don’t have an appetite. That’s been happening recently. I can’t eat breakfast. I only eat a little bit for lunch and dinner. Snacks hardly. But I drink hot chocolate EVERY. DAY. I drink water less than hot chocolate.
Wow I’m so healthy omg 😮
Dustin Padgett right. I just ordered junk food to be delivered. I personally couldn’t make a video if I were depressed
0 likesYeah. Pretty healthy. I suppose it is probably nice though as edamame bean pods have a nice crunch. Very satisfying.
0 likesIt is kinda fun to eat too, like, it pops into your mouth.
0 likesActually I eat cucumbers when I'm depressed😂😂😂 or belly peppers :/
0 likes"i'll just go outside and feel hopeless"
3913 likesThat part hit me so much.
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4,108,624, 018 Seriously. I did that today. It was warm for the first time so I tried going to the park. Found everything grey and unmoving. Had to go back inside after a whike
29 likessadlife ☹️
1 likesame
1 likeJust let the grim reaper take you all away the grim reaper will make y'all happy 🙂
0 likes@Corona Virus The reaper will come for us all eventually
0 likesIt is better to go outside and look at the horizon. See that there is something bigger. Or observe a leaf flying in the wind, that is also nice:)
1 likeFun fact: every time I watch this, I pull out some frozen veggies and eat with you
3733 likesReplies (7)
That's adorable
82 likesWhat kind may I ask?
30 likesThat makes me happy
19 likesEvery time? How much do you watch this 😂
25 likes@Cuppa Tae lmao
4 likesI hope you cook them lol
8 likesThat's like the most subtle supportive and empathetic thing
7 likesWhenever I start to feel that pit of depression looming in I just come to this video so that I can have something to relate to. It actually really helps to make me feel less alone and helpless. Thank you Dodie.
1159 likesReplies (4)
Jill Stephenson
10 likesi do the same thing, and you know what? us dodie fans have to have each other’s back and i feel so lucky to be a part of such an open and loving fan base.
i hope you’re alright.
I know this is an old comment, but dang this is what I do! Sometimes it just helps to know that someone else understands so clearly what you're going to. You know like someone to show that you're going to be okay even if your brain is being a jerk right now, but that what you're feeling right now is real and sucks.
4 likesJill Stephenson If you ever want to talk, I think i can help you. I’m here for you in those tough times.
1 likeahaha i forgot about this comment. I'm back for the same reason today :')
0 likesThat 'clap, clap, clap, snap, clap' is the coolest signature move.
434 likesI love your honesty.
Finish your beans.
You're not alone.
Keep going. 🎸 🎸 🎸
Replies (1)
I often do a clap-snap pattern when I’m frantically trying to remember something
0 likesi've never related to something so much in my entire life. i showed this video to my parents, and i think it really did help them understand my mental illness more. thank you dodie. i hope you're in a happy place.
1285 likesi come back to this video everytime i have a day like this and it always seems to comfort me in just the right ways
10 likesthis video brings me so much comfort and it always has and probably always will.
11 likes"Some days you wake up and your brain is so heavy, you can't help but notice it."
430 likesWow, I've never had my depression described better. Amazing.
Replies (1)
Mornings when I'm feeling bad are the worst. Everything feels heavy physically and emotionally, it's a miracle I even drag myself out of bed those days
4 likesThis have been my comfort video for years now. Whenever I feel sad or depressed I just watch this while eating snacks. Please dodie never delete this 😭
5 likesanyone else sometimes feels so bad that you're certain you have depression but then you think you're faking it and you feel stupid bc there's people out there with the actual illness, but again you relate to so many symptoms and you have no clue of what's going on :c
9172 likesReplies (235)
jessica fernanda thank you thank you thank you for putting this into words
614 likesjessica fernanda 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
47 likessometimes there can be a difference between feeling depressed and suffering from bouts of depressed / low mood, and 'depression' itself as a chronic illness. Nevertheless, if you experience symptoms of depression so severely or constantly that you wonder if you might have it, it might be worth seeing a doctor just to discuss? Hope you feel better xx
259 likesAlso: bouts of low mood (if you feel that's what you may be experiencing) can be just as valid and debilitating as depression itself, so don't think you are stupid xx
151 likesjessica fernanda it happens to me with anxiety and depersonalisation my brain just goes like "shut up you're just trying to call attention" and I hate the fact that I maybe am.
311 likesjessica fernanda All the freaking time.
31 likesjessica fernanda SAME LITERALLY ME ALWAYS
34 likesbeen feeling this way for the past 5 months ://
43 likesYESSSS
17 likesnatalie roy I've been like this for about 3/4 years and I honestly don't know what to do. Like do you guys feel this emptiness, constant numbness and the feeling of nothing inside you all the time? Like you'd rather not do anything at all but sleep?
124 likesmine feels a bit different but i definitely relate to those feelings a lot!! ive noticed lately i go from one complete extreme to another mentally, sometimes just within hours which really freaks me out uhg. when im in a down mood it feels exactly like what you said and i just wanna cry all the time but i cant bc i feel so empty, and sometimes that lasts for awhile but then sometimes i feel like decent right after?!? its really weird and really extreme this got really long oops sorry but idk what to do either sadly :/ watching youtubers and tv helps really forget about everything for awhile for me and forcing myself to get a complete 8 hours of sleep is really helpful!
59 likesjessica fernada- I thought that too until my parents got me a therapist for other things and she diagnosed me with depression. Now I am on meds and trying to figure how to become normal again. Whatever you do don't ever devalue your feelings.
26 likesnatalie roy same I feel the exact same way! Like I could be wanting to burst out with tears but I can't because I'm feeling nothing, just emptiness and void. And sometimes after that I'm decent and feel okay but then I just go right back
22 likesjessica fernanda yes. all. the. time.
11 likesyeah i feel like people think that about me all the time.
4 likesyeah pretty much like right now actually. infact most people think these comments are for attention since i am trying to sort of express how i feel but quite frankly if i express myself i get told to kill myself/stop feeling this way/ignore the kill myself comments. i also get told disstract myself from feeling this way or stay away from anyone that upsets you and if that thing is not something you can stay away from ignore it.
16 likesTHANK YOU SO MUCH. I thought I was the only one feeling this way... like I was crazy or something...... I feel like this all the time.
16 likesare you talking to me.
8 likesjessica fernanda that's literally my entire train of thought during this video. Like today I was super tired and for a while 6 of school I felt terrible and then i felt happy for an hour and then I went back to sadness and i feel like if I were depressed I wouldn't have moments of happiness?? Like does that make sense? I don't know but basically all im saying is me too.
24 likesjessica fernanda I just had one of those moments where you read something that's been so perfectly put in words, that you've been subconsciously trying to for so long but haven't been able to. Thanks, and you're not alone. But, hey, at least we've got things like Dodie's videos and Viria's art to cheer us up.
22 likesVarun Srivastava yes that's true ^.^
3 likesI've been officially diagnosed with chronic depression and I still feel like this
13 likesI feel the same and it's so fucking annoying I never talk about how I feel because I make myself think that I'm faking it and that I'm fine but at the same time I'm not fine ugh
42 likesLiterally me right now
5 likesjessica fernanda I RELATE OMFG I RELATE AND I HATE IT
8 likesOMG YES
3 likesjessica fernanda yep
2 likesjessica fernanda Yes I tend to think that my problems are irrelevant and no one cares and that I'm making a big deal out of it. I just don't know anymore.
22 likeseveryday
1 likejessica fernanda I do it's so scary. But I went to the doctors and it turns out I have depression and anxiety so it's definitely worth a try if you relate to symptoms.
7 likesI FEEL THIS LITERALLY EVERY SECOND OF EVERDAY AND I LITERALLY CONVINCED MYSELF THAT I WAS ACTUALLY FAKING IT BUT IM SO GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE SO I KNOW THAT ITS JUST MY STUPID BRAIN
20 likesjessica fernanda same
2 likesSarah Marko SEE SOMEONE! I finally got diagnosed with depression and anxiety THANK GOD, but I'm still so anxious and have so little trust in everyone including myself, that I don't say enough to for people to understand what's going on. And with depersonalization I really REALLY HAGE BEEN STRUGGLING THIS MONTH AND LAST MONTH, and I'm still not diagnosed, so I keep telling myself I'm faking it just because I want to give myself excuses , when in reality it's probably much more likely that something is actually going on mentally that isn't in my control.
11 likesthis thread. 💕 even just by seeing people agreeing to the main comment already feels enough to comfort me. what I tend to do now, now that I'm not so serious, though I still have my phases; is tell myself that it's okay. it's okay to feel like shit and it's okay if you don't seem "depressed enough" to fit to the label, because any ounce of it it's just not what anyone should go through. and things will be alright in the end.
18 likesYes!
1 likeFor me its like certain days of emptiness. Like a blackhole inside my bod that sucks the energy out of me. Then there are the days that are like "I'm feeling kinda depressed" But then its like "No your not stop devaluating people with actual depression, you're just calling for attention shut up" and that sucks.
24 likesYESYESYES
1 likejessica fernanda OMG YES!!!
2 likesI thought I was alone. This comment and all the replies have helped me feel less deserted
15 likesYeah.. I was told by a teacher I talked to about it "I don't usually think this but I think your just putting on a front for attention" and that downed me even more. I get bad days constantly and the only "front" or "mask" I put on is a confident, crazy girl because under that mask, they wouldn't like what they would see.
16 likesjessica fernanda that is exactly what I'm like. I'm so scared to open up because if I get sad/depressed I'm worried people will think I've overreacted over nothing or that they think I'm asking for attention so I'm just so scared to tell people now because it's that or told off for feeling this way.
10 likesPeople just get so angry about my sadness but I can't help it
jessica fernanda yes <3
2 likesI've been through emotional abuse from my father (note: I'm 15) and ever since 13 I've had depression like you know puberty frontal lobe etc that's the time where most mental illnesses start to take place. Now at the present moment, I don't really know how I feel for example my father doesn't really affect me anymore too much in a negative way I can openly talk about it. But I'm not happy either I can't find joy in things I used to when I was a kid. And I was discussing depression with one of my friends the other day and it made me contemplate whether it's actual genetic depression. My father, mother and uncle have all had or have depression. My mother doesn't anymore but my dad and uncle still do.. And I also relate to what you're talking about. The one thing I hate about it is you never know when it's going to be a bad day, or week, or month. It always comes randomly and it's unpredictable. It's making me too tired and exhausted to do school work and when I have a wave I just can't be motivated to care about anything. Please, can someone discuss this with me also sorry for the long paragraph.
1 likeI think that I might have depression but I'm really not sure. It's like what Dodie said, it feels as though everything goes dark in my head and as though it will be like it forever. I start to feel heavy in my chest and my breathing slows down and I breath heavy. But whenever I tell my family that I'm feeling like this, I always say "but it's not depression or anything". I know what normal sad is and this is different. But the problem is that I always tell myself that there's nothing wrong and now I'm worried if I tell my family, they might think that I'm faking it something.
2 likesI felt/feel like that, but then I realised one day......me denying that I have depression is kind of a depressing trait itself, because it's just reinforcing the idea that I'm not important and that I'm a sucky person for faking it.
6 likesit was that thought that push me to go see a GP, because they'd be able to say if it was just an over reaction or something actual. he explained that sometime there doesn't need to be a big reason, it could be something faulty in your genes that produces too less/too little of something. I always knew this, I just never could apply it to me (which, again, sign of depression/anxiety! )
so yeah, chances are, you aren't faking it and depression doesn't always need clean cut reasons. but if you are, it doesn't hurt to get a little more professional insight into it. worse comes to worse, they say you don't have it and things will just stay the same - which seems bad, but it can't get worse right?
jessica fernanda usually when you suspect depression, you may have some form of depression. Perhaps go see a doctor, it might help to talk to someone. I waited too long and fell really far down the well and it's so important to start early with therapy bc it helps
3 likesjessica fernanda yesyesyes
1 likeI was just like that and ended up getting diagnosed with a form of depression (called dysthymia). I think you should see a psychiatrist about that. It's like, it your throat hurts, it doesn't mean you have strep, but you'd still go to a doctor, right?
5 likesxoxo Itzel and this is how I am! Most of the time I feel like shit but then I have an hour of happiness and then I go back to feeling numb and spaced out. This makes me doubt what's actually wrong we me, or makes me think is there anything wrong in the first place? Like I doubt myself and think I'm just making it up?
7 likesyep all the time
1 likejessica fernanda yes. It's in words
1 likejessica fernanda yes :c idk what i am sometimes
1 likeme rn
0 likesyou put my thoughts into words I feel like this about depression and anxiety
2 likesjessica fernanda I definitely suffer from depression. It's been diagnosed and is being treated but I still feel like I'm faking it sometimes. Write down some notes on how you feel and how often and go speak to your doctor. They may offer advice on how to deal with those thoughts and feelings or they may say you're having a rough patch and want to check in with you in a month or two. Either way, going to see your GP will help. It can be scary but just the act of seeking help can lift so much of that weight. If you're not sure enough to see your doctor, seek out friends or family who suffer with it and just talk. Again, just getting things off your chest can help so much. I hope you're all okay. Be kind to yourself and take care x
3 likesnatalie roy If it's been that long I'd go and see a doctor. Have you spoken to any friends or family about how you feel? Maybe they could go with you. If you haven't spoken to anyone, try and have a real conversation about it. Don't just mention it in passing. Arrange a time and say there's something you're struggling with or finding confusing and you need to talk about it. I hope things look up soon. Look after yourself xx
0 likesShantel Potter Yes, absolutely. That is a huge part of depression. Does anybody know? Have you spoken to friends or family? Like I said to natalie roy, try and arrange to talk about it rather than mentioning it in passing, and see a doctor. You can take some notes because remembering all the things is hard. Take a friend if you need to as well. They're allowed to come into the consultation room with you if you want them there, and if you've spoken to them about how you've been feeling they might be able to help you put it into words. Take care x
1 likeYes.
0 likessomeone once said to me people have front teeth problems and back teeth problems. People can always see the front ones and help them out. but everyone especially people with (invisible illnesses like) depression, cant be seen in the back. one day those people that don't get it will experience what we will do or really learn about how it really is from someone close to them and realise that you can't just think yourself happy.
7 likesjessica fernanda that is exactly what i feel like
1 likejessica fernanda
0 likesJupp just about now actually...
hey, i struggled with depression for about 8 years before i actually got help because i kept doubting myself and telling myself what i was experiencing wasn't real or wasn't "serious enough". you know yourself better than anyone and if you think something's not quite right, seek help if you can - book an appointment with your doctor, or your school or college counsellor. it might be nothing, but it also might be something. mental illnesses are extremely common, especially depression. it's not fun having one, but also having a diagnosis was extremely validating for me. plus everyone experiences mental illness differently and there are varying levels of it, so just because you don't feel exactly like other people do doesn't mean you're not valid.
3 likeswelcome to my life :/
0 likesi feel like this is me with anxiety stuff :')
1 likeuhhhhg it"s awful i really hate it wen it happens. And i feel like i am going crazy.
0 likesi have anxiety so crippling that i sometimes cant go to work/school but somehow at the same time im convinced that im faking it
7 likesi sure am socially anxious and it plays with my mood a LOT, i'm not even doubting that i am (socially anxious) but same with depression :(
0 likesthat's me for the past three years but there are times when I'm so happy it's abnormal lmao what to do
0 likesThat happens to me all the time but all my friends and family keep telling me that im making it up and that everyone goes through it so im scared of going to a psychologist because im afraid its true and im actually faking it but unconsciously
8 likesjessica fernanda this is actually me
0 likesi do, i have friends who have much worse depression than me (i think) and i always question whether i actually have depression and worry that i'm not just faking it
0 likesjessica fernanda All the time
0 likesjessica fernanda yes
0 likesYES!!
0 likesi'm experiencing so many symptoms of depression but i don't want to make my family worry about me because i'd feel hella guilty if i did
2 likesThanks for putting into words
0 likesjessica fernanda accurate
0 likesLottie Millar same
0 likesjessica fernanda Oh dear that's actually me I didn't think other people feel this too
3 likesYou just explained exactly how I feel
0 likesYeah... all the time... but trust me, it's worth talking so someone. My friends had been telling me for a few months to talk to someone so I FINALLY talked to the school psych. My boyfriend had to practically drag me in. I was sitting in the library sobbing into his shoulder before the appointment all "I'm fine I don't need a psych please don't make me she'll just say I'm being silly". Anyway, he kinda half forced me to go in, and I pretty much just cried in front of her for an hour, took some tests she gave me, and came out tentatively diagnosed as severely depressed.
2 likesSoooo it's worth it :D
YES YES YES YES YES
0 likesme rite now. It's annoying!
0 likesjessica fernanda YES YES OMG YES☝☝☝👏👏👏
0 likesYES YES YES
0 likesme toooo
0 likesactually yes though
0 likesHey! yeah! (I'm sorry for my terrible english)
8 likesI felt like that for 6 years.
Then I met my current boyfriend who studies mental illness and explained to me that whatever you feel, you can get help for it. 'cause even when it's in fact not depression but you feel like shit without a reason (or with a reason), you can get help.
Even when you do it for attention (I was always affraid that, that was me) you can get help because there must be a reason why you subconsciously (I don't even know if that's a word) feel like you have a lack of attention.
I am now under treatment and further research for a disorder called borderline. It's still not going great but I finally have the feeling that I'm taken seriously and problebly the most important thing. I am recently allowing myself, to take myself serious.
That's the message I guess xD Take yourself serious and get help. Love you all!!
I opened up to my friend ONCE and her response was that I was overreacting. After that I convinced myself that I was being dramatic and that I shouldn't compare myself to people who actually have mental illnesses
5 likesjessica fernanda I can honestly relate to this so much. I'm afraid I'm just overthinking all of these signs and/or symptoms and I don't know anymore 😔
0 likesjessica fernanda not even kidding, this describes me perfectly.
0 likesjessica fernanda this is actually me
0 likessame.
0 likesjessica fernanda don't worry same 😭
0 likesTHAT HAPPENS TO ME
0 likesYes omg yes
0 likesevery single fucking day
0 likesOH MY GOD, YOU PUT IT IN WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
0 likesFuck this is my mental state in a nutshell
0 likesT H A N K Y O U!!! oh my goshhh i relate soooomuch
0 likesjessica fernanda that's a sign of depression
0 likesjessica fernanda YES I was waiting for something like this SO RELATABLE
0 likesi relate to this so much omg
1 likethat's exactly how I feel
0 likesjessica fernanda yeah I hate that when you feel the littlest bit better you feel so guilty because you question if it's real
3 likesjessica fernanda literally same
0 likesyes
0 likesYES. A lot of the time. Also especially with my anxiety. It takes everything (and sometimes it still doesn't convince me enough) to tell myself that I have this, it's real, let's ride it through. I woke up in a panic attack today. What a thrill... So thankful it was short-lived and I could get out of my apartment and do something exciting. That doesn't always work, but it sure did today. #bulletdodged
4 likesEven as someone who has been officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I still get this all of the time. My therapist said it's actually one of the big symptoms of a lot of mental illnesses, which is part of the reason a lot of people don't seek help.
1 likeI feel like this and its kind of comforting that other people feel the same way but I also want to hug you all 💕💕
2 likesI really didn't know other people felt like this. Thank you
2 likesyup that's me
0 likesjessica fernanda dude yes
0 likesjessica fernanda, I feel the same exact way.
0 likesjessica fernanda every time I get out of a funk, I feel like I was faking the whole time and that I'm not actually depressed :((
2 likesjessica fernanda y e s.
0 likesjessica fernanda yeah, that's happened to me where I stayed in bed for like 5 days and I was sad for no reason and felt like shit but I knew I never had depression and the same with anxiety, at school the counselor was saying things about they were worried I have anxiety but I didn't believe it until a few days ago when I actually looked up anxiety to see what it is on a base level and I was like, "Wait, so people don't freak out about these things?"
2 likesjessica fernanda yes thank you so much for putting it into words sometimes i wish that i was diagnosed with it just so that i was 100% aware of what exactly is wrong with me, if anything, because i really cant tell if I'm faking it or not which makes me feel even worse
1 likeexactly
0 likesjessica fernanda situational depression is a thing 👉👉
0 likesokay you just explained my thoughts just now wow
0 likesSame, this always pisses me off
0 likesYes, I always feel like that!! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one, oh my goodness!
0 likesjessica fernanda Omfg I know what you're talking about
0 likesUgh same :(
0 likesOh god I thought I was the only one! I talked about it to my parents but my dad is completely sure nothing's wrong but my mom says even she wasn't feeling this bad when she was younger and she had a lot of 'depressing' (she didn't have depression, but it was close) days so I don't know but I'll talk to a doctor soon
0 likespainfully true, and it doesn't help when other people tell you you're "being dramatic" or "thinking to deep into it" because let's say I actually DO have something wrong, I'm not going to take the steps to get better because I listen to those people and then it just... gets worse
0 likesSomeone said it.
3 likesthis is me rn. it's 6am. i've been spilling out my feelings in my journal/diary for the past hour.
0 likesi decided to watch different vids/ read diff sites to see if i am actually depressed.
i think it's safe to say that- i do not know.
jessica fernanda Go see a doctor. Don't be scared to get help.
0 likesThis is what I think everytime I have a panic attack or just start randomly crying. Like why the fuck are you crying? You have no reason to be crying while other people do so stop acting like this. I am on antidepressants but they don't work and then I end up thinking like it's because you aren't actually depressed. Others could use this more than you and you're just wasting it. Like all those bad things.
2 likesevery day of my life..
0 likesjessica fernanda every day :(
0 likesjessica fernanda everyday
0 likesand it's worst when you can't go to get diagnose because you don't know how will your parents react if you tell them "can i go to a psycologist?"
9 likesjessica fernanda everyday of my life
0 likesVane happy It's embarrassing and scary yes, but your parents fucking love you. they want you to get help. would you rather tell your parents you need help or let them find out in some other way that you needed help? grow up and ask for help. i told my parents when i was 15 and im 21 now. ive made a lot of change in my life and my parents have been there for me. it changed my life, it will change yours.
2 likesjessica fernanda YES YES YES YES
0 likesyou have no idea how relieved i am that i am not the only one who gets this, also, it does help now i am actually diagnosed, but before i got this all the time
2 likessame. I need a therapist tho or something because i actually got the strong urge to hurt myself earlier today so maybe im not faking it. idk
1 likethank you thank you thank you I'm not alone
0 likesjessica fernanda um yes. All the time. I feel that way about everything: depression, anxiety, ptsd, ADHD. Am i faking it? No. But I'm always afraid that I am
1 likejessica fernanda oh god you describe me 24/u
0 likesI get anxiety worrying about if my anxiety is over dramatic and I just don't know what to think of myself.
1 likeOh my god, I really did feel stupid about it and to see that many people can relate to your comment blows my mind.
1 likethe most relatable thing I've ever read, exactly that
0 likesomg same
0 likesfirst Person that unterstand me
0 likesjessica fernanda Yeah
0 likesI feel numb all the time but I always tell myself that I just don't know how to identify emotions, "of course that video made me happy, it makes everyone happy, you aren't numb, this is happiness... Totally" when I smile I can never tell if I actually want to and it's because I'm happy or if it just happened because I'm so used to faking them.
All. The. Time. 😩
0 likesYep
0 likesyou might actually have some kind of depression but idk
0 likesexactly, and it doesn’t help that once i caught my friend talking behind my back saying that she thought i was faking it and i feel like every now and then she drops kind of rude subtle hints at me about it and it doesn’t make me feel better at all
0 likesI’m feeling this right now
1 likeYes, every day. I've felt like I'm probably depressed for a long time, years; and chronic depression runs in my family; but I always talked myself in circles about getting help for it for so long not thinking I was actually depressed and that it was self indulgent and an insult to people with "real" depression and I was/am being a horrible person and hopping on a bandwagon. It took a serious life event (unrelated) to get me into therapy where I then began to talk about this for real, and even though my therapist has diagnosed me with depression, I still constantly think I'm faking it or making it up. I have good days and think "well if you were able to do this why haven't you been doing it the whole time, lazy dumbass? You're not depressed."
0 likesWatching this video made me feel similarly because I didn't relate to all the same symptoms. I obsess over things I've done wrong / my flaws, feel a heavy feeling in my chest, am constantly tired and lacking energy and motivation even though I have a lot of goals, and cry at random times and just feel sad and bored, but things can still cheer me up, and I can still tune out to a good show or some music. I don't feel the "brain fog" aspect. I tell myself all the time that I'm just lazy, and I'm still not even sure that isn't my only problem. I have no problem looking at others experiencing the same things and saying it's clearly depression, but I just can't apply it to myself without feeling like a disingenuous fraud. For the benefit of the many people commenting here, see someone if you feel like this. Not having it as bad as someone else doesn't make your problem invalid, and sometimes these feelings are literally symptoms of depression. I was diagnosed with "persistent depressive disorder" and literally cried tears of joy at feeling like I could relate to something for once the first time I saw the definition, but I talked myself into the fact that NO, I was just attention seeking and rotten within a week and didn't get the help because I just needed to "get over it." It's such a frustrating feeling because you literally just feel like a shitty person for existing, like you can't use depression to describe yourself because you don't feel like you're entitled to, but you also don't feel normal or good.
Thank you 💗
0 likesThis is exactly how I feel and it makes me feel so empty. I think that I have dysthymia but then again how do I know? So I just fall into a pit of despair. When I was eleven my mother had me put into guidance counselling at my school and at the end of the year my councillor suggested for me to continue to have counselling. I never told my mum. I thought that I wasn't worth it. To this day I am still uncertain of my condition. I can't get myself to believe that this is real.
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Bless
💗💗
okay this iS SO RELATABLE I-
0 likesHere
0 likesi took a quiz on depression two months and it said i am severely depressed. now i have the best friends ever to help me and i love them and i love writing music and i still cant love my life. i hAtE iT
0 likesIKR OMG AHHHHHHHHHH I JUST WANNA CRY AHHHHHHHHHH LIFE IS JUST SO BAD! WELL JUST SO STRESSFUL!!!
0 likesYEaH!like okay ik this comment is from two years ago but i like it so idc. I've been diagnosed and have mdd, and have had mmmmmmselfharmmmmmissuesmmmm but i feel like i'm faking it and, idk i confused? I more just feel really really, REALLY sad, not confused or anything, but just super hopeless and awful, so just normal sadness ya know? SO YEAH I FEEL LIKE I"M FAKING IT AND-WhaTT. And i have a thyroid problem so I'm always really tired an i uugasflhdksghasfkj
0 likesand then i feel may be i have depression. 'cause everything i can think about happy times, is something when i'm really distracted. distracted through work. distracted through screens. distracted throughs sounds. but in my head it's always silence. a nothingness which feels so heavy. but then again, i think i'm faking it. 'cause real depression might not let me do that. it might not let me get distracted
0 likesjessica fernanda omg what i was thinking the same thing about myself as I read this...
0 likesYes!
0 likesjessica fernanda OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH CAN RELATE
0 likesjessica fernanda Dang. I didn’t know that other people feel this? Cause honestly when I’m feeling down (I’m pretty sure I don’t have depression) I feel so stupid and “oh woe is me” cause I just... Ughh. I feel like my “self hate” is like a call for attention?... Even though I try to hide it more or less?... I bet I’m gonna remember this comment later and be like “stop faking you’re fine”. Cause like I am?... But I’m not?... ivkdysnsjak
0 likesI’m supposed to be fine. I bet I’m fine but my brain? I feel like I might have minor anxiety but then again, I feel like I shouldn’t assume that cause some people have major anxiety and mine is barely a problem? I just change my mind all the time either convincing myself that I’m fine, or feeling certain that I’m not...
Ok you know what, sorry. You can ignore this long rambly comment. ;w;
I feel stupid now.
The fucking Guilt is the worst.
1 likeI couldn't have put it better myself
0 likesI've never read anything more relatable. Thank you!
0 likesGlad I’m not alone
0 likesTHANK YOUUUU I NEEDED THISS to think i thought i was alone😳😩😩
0 likesi feel like im faking it but then i think about it and i cant process the thought into my brain
0 likesbeen feeling like this for a few years except its like a constant bad feeling
0 likesjessica fernanda yes yes yes yes yes
0 likesjessica fernanda Tmi.. jeez
0 likesYes
0 likesYes
0 likesHoney yes
0 likesYes oml that was with my paranoia
0 likes@Ella Wright but what if you feel this way and you constantly feel depressed anyways y'know what I mean..I'm a melancholy type i suppose but I also feel like I am taking it but I'm not? And those bouts you're talking about could be a type of manic or mania depression. But depression isn't always chronic. There is also situational depression but that's definetly not it it for me. Y'know I don't really know whats wrong with me bc I look up all of these things and i have these symptoms but don't want to talk to my mum about it bc I don't want her to think I'm faking or self diagnosising myself which I am but if I'm really feeling those symptoms wouldn't it make sense??!? And I feel like everything I'm self diagnosising is in contradiction to what I just looked at idk I'm weird and I'm sure there could be worse problems..
0 likes@Ella Wright sorry I know I'm late
0 likesThen you feel selfish.
0 likesI don’t want to be selfish.
jessica fernanda yes I feel like this a lot like I have nothing really big to be depressed about but I am and my brain sometimes tells me I’m just calling for attention when I’m not it’s like my depression is depressed
0 likesHow did you read my mind?
0 likesMe.
0 likesi feel like this with any bad feeling that i have felt and it just
0 likesRRRR
jessica fernanda and you’re scared to get diagnosed incase you’re wrong
0 likesI THOUGHT I'M THE ONLY ONE SJSJJSJSJS
0 likesEvery fucking week
0 likes@Amali Perry-Falvey
0 likesExactly
I’m sorry to hear, remember, if u have a problem, weather it’s a diagnosed problem or not, no one should put u down about having a problem, that make sense?
1 likeI've felt like this for years
1 likeUh no
0 likesWe Are Like The Sea! Low Tide, High Tide!
0 likesRachel Carnegie ME
0 likesExactly how I feel.
0 likesword💙
0 likesBasically
0 likeswow i thought i'm only like that. Kinda feel better there r more but still not happy bc more people feel that shit
0 likesSame I was actually diagnosed but ignore everything because of the same
0 likesjessica fernanda wow i thought i was the only one tysm for putting this into words
0 likes@Rachel Carnegie meeeeee
0 likesI relate to this so much, thank you. I feel so stupid and alone when ever I start to think about why I am sad... it feels good to know that other people have the same sentiment.
0 likesjessica fernanda can anyone explain this for me
0 likesI thought I was the only one omg 😥😥😭😭
0 likesjessica fernanda definitely see a psychiatrist if you feel like you’re depressed then take a clinical test
0 likesIt's me!
0 likesyes yes.
0 likesohmyfuckinggoodnesseverysingledayofmyfuckinglife
0 likesMe too
0 likesDepression IS an illness. It's fucking terrifying how still it's a stigma in society and many make fun of it saying it's just a 'sadness' or 'overreaction to certain things'. Nooooo depression isn't a drama it's an actual illness just like heart disease, cancer, or hepatitis. MENTAL ILLNESS IS AN ILLNESS. I don't understand how many more years would it take for society to ACCEPT this thing. 😭
0 likesliterally taking antidepressants and still feel like i’m “faking it”
1 likei used to feel that way until i got diagnosed with depression. it's always better to go to a psychologist and check what's going on.
0 likeswhoa. that hits home
0 likesThank you I’ve been feeling this forever
0 likesjessica fernanda i thought i was the only one
0 likesOmg thats literally me
0 likesMy therapist told me that if you are worried about faking it, it means you're not and you're valid
0 likesjessica fernanda nahhhh 😢that hit me home
0 likesi went on multiple certified depression quizzes - basically what therapists ask you and use to determine if they actually want to help you out
1 likeall said severely depressed and one redirected me to a suicide hotline list
i still think im faking it, other people have it worse. im probably just being sensitive and it's been so long surely it'll pass soon
jessica fernanda this is so relatable.
0 likesthat’s me, i just feel completely invalid
0 likesAaaannnd that was such a call out post for my life dude
0 likesI go between being hopelessly optimistic to sad over stupid things. Like grandma dies? Who cares. Drop my icecream? Mental breakdown. I diagnose myself with being self absorbed
1 likeomg that's me
0 likesme. i want to speak to someone but i know they'll say it isn't depression. i'm not sure if i even have depression. but it feels so much like it.
1 likeHoly shit yes thank you for putting it into words
0 likesjessica fernanda yesssssssssssssssssss
0 likesMild depression
0 likesYES.
0 likes@Sarina Hanai exactly!!
0 likesExactly. This is a reason to go to the doctors and get diagnosed.
1 likeWhat's up RED?
0 likesYes. Yes.
0 likesokay. this is literally me. you state my whole life.
0 likeswhy is this video so calming, I've never really struggled with severe depression or mental illness, something about this video is just so relaxing
43 likesthe part where you talked about going outside and still feeling depressed hit me hard. i love taking walks and i love looking up at the sky and seeing so many beautiful colors but when im feeling especially depressed that day, i try to take a walk but fails. nothing will motivate me like how the beautiful sky did the other day.
79 likesI’m a maladaptive daydreamer and it’s been taking over my life. I can’t do anything else but daydream. My parents don’t believe that being a maladaptive daydreamer is even a thing, let alone a problem. It’s been making me really depressed because all I’m able to do is just waste away my day in a daydream. I can’t focus in school or at home.
576 likesPeople don’t realize what a problem it is.
Replies (24)
Alyssa L literally same; i just started seeing a therapist to help with/actually diagnose my anxiety, and i really want to bring this up but i’m scared, and it just takes up so much of my life and it’s so frustrating and i’m so sick of it, and i know i can do better than how i’m doing now, but i just feel like i’m drowning all the time and i don’t know how to deal with it hdkslzjdkls sorry that was so long
38 likesWe are the same person.
10 likesi used to think i was a maladaptive daydreamer, because i showed all the symptoms.
22 likesturns out the depression i had prior was causing me to dissociate a lot and i wasn’t daydreaming, i was just spacing out and thinking sad things :)
so basically i don’t have what i thought it had, so a year ago i would’ve written a comment saying i could relate sO mUcH, but i can’t. i don’t know what you’re dealing with. i hope you’re okay.
I have attention deficit disorder. Anxiety. And depression. This all contributes to the cute little universes in my brain. Or just scenarios. Really anything that could happen has been played through in my head a thousand times over. Sometimes I can’t sleep because of it. Sometimes I waste my morning or day because of it. So I get you man. I’m medicated for my anxiety and ADD but it still happens sometimes.
22 likesSo Here’s to the daydreamers club. I hope you get the help you need for it, weather it be a therapist, meds or just a friend. I can fill in on the last part if you’d like.
Em Wiebe I was diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety with other things but the main mental illnesses are those two and they affect me more than anything . Recently I was told that I was dissociating as well which I never really thought but it makes a lot of sense to me . I’m thinking maybe the daydreaming could be the way I disassociate from either stress or memories or anything of the sort .
1 likeCamron Stewart
10 likesthat makes sense. i dissociate because of stress and self hatred+the desire to harm myself. my brain turned itself off one day and said “yo, i’m not coming back til you accept yourself” and i responded “okay, then goodbye forever.”
I have that same issue
1 likeI also had the same problem... if you haven't done this yet I would advise you to go to a therapist... that's what helped me.
3 likesI was daydreaming so much I couldn't even concentrate on people talking with me anymore... it was literally destroying my life.
it's exactly the same for me, my ma doesn't really believe it's a thing, (and she's a psychiatrist, so jeez, what am I supposed to believe), and i guess the worst parts are that i've set the standard so high in my daydreams, how am i supposed to make them real (cause i always strive for that) and when reality just fkin slaps you in the face, and it's just too much. My advice, strive to make your dreams a reality. And when you start feeling better with your own self, try to step outside of the dream, let it go for a moment, and you'll see it's all still there, within you. Definitely have a creative outlet, whatever that may be, (for me, music helped a lot, it's the perfect balance of real and not real). Main point is, somehow try to feel better with yourself and your own life, regain some sort of control. Anyhow, sorry for the long comment, hope i helped even a little bit- you're not alone
5 likesOMGGGGG IM THE SAME WAY
0 likesHey, If you ever want to talk, i can help you. I’ve been through a lot. Don’t worry, you’re opinion matters, not anyone elses.
1 likeAlyssa L this might be inappropriate but I promise I’m not making fun or anything, I’m just curious if you are a Pisces? Ik it’s a dumbass question 😅
1 likeI think i have the same thing..i didnt really know there was a name for it because i thought i was just being weird & making up scenarios in my head but watching them play out in real life but in my mind.
0 likesThere's no way out for me that's If why I have so many scars
1 likeThank you so much for writing this comment. Since I can remember, I've been daydreaming intensely in many different scopes of my life and I've always thought that maybe I had attention deficit disorder. When I read this, I got immediately identified with it. I've done some research and I think I should tell my therapist about it. I hope it has a solution: my life is drifting before me cause instead of living I prefer to imagine. Cheer up. You are not alone :)
3 likesThat's what I do all the time just drift and day dream I feel so alone no friends family don't CARE
0 likesi felt this
0 likesTo all Maladaptive Daydreamers and everyone who knows them "ITS A REAL THING" please get help, please learn about this disorder, learn coping strategies, keep a diary and try to figure what are your triggers, if you understand what your up against you can learn how to live and stay in reality, trust me, "I KNOW ITS HARD", BUT YOUR STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE, PUSH YOURSELF OUT OF YOURSELF. Please don't be so hard on yourself it's ok your gonna get better. I wish I could hold your hand and walk out......
3 likesIts hard being 'addicted' to daydreaming because to quit any addiction you need motivation. But each time you daydream it's so easy to convince yourself it it isn't harmful, because it literally isn't in the short term, it's the long term that is the problem. So that has to be the motivation. I've read stories about people in their 50s still stuck in this shit - unmarried, no social life, crappy job, just wait till the end of the day till they get back to their apartment to pace again till they collapse into their bed. Repeat next day. It's too late for them. Do you want that to be your life? You need to cut it the fuck out NOW and never look back. Or you're just gonna say I'll do it 'one more time' for the rest of your life.
3 likesEasier said than done? Yeah I know I can't quit either lol
Omg Same....I thought that’s normal ...I have this like always I don’t even have a day where I don’t do this...shit
0 likesSame ..
0 likesIt's hard live with that no one care abaut this and no one think that this is a problem
0 likesMaybe u have ADHD
0 likesugh, me too. not that severe, but it distracts me from everyday life. i hate it. i want it to stop. i can't tell anyone about it, not even my therapist, because i also have severe social anxiety.
0 likesi accepted it, but i want it to stop.
Hey person scrolling
3757 likesTake care of yourself okay? You'll get through it
Replies (55)
Awh thanks
10 likesJessica Ramoganyaka thank you
4 likesThank you
3 likessame goes to u [:
3 likesJessica Ramoganyaka thank you
3 likesThank you
2 likesThanks I really needed that today
2 likesThanks xx
2 likesJessica Ramoganyaka I love you
2 likesAawww thx Back at you 😊👍
1 likeThanks, you too <3
1 likeThanks... im going thru my years im elleven and i really needed that thanks (deppresion)
1 likethe ‘okay’ made me cringe, but thank you
4 likesThank you.........
0 likeslol no
0 likesstop saying that like HOWS T HAT GOJNA HEKP
0 likesThanks, I read it just in a moment when I feel like my life is going straight to fcked up :/ U created a small smile on my face <3
1 likeThank you.
1 likeYou’ve honestly bought me to tears.
God, I feel so bad.
Thank you
1 likeJessica Ramoganyaka 😢thank you, that actually made me tear up.
1 likeThanks
1 likethankyou I just feel like time is what weighs me down. I'm scared of the time passing by and watching people leave. Our time is short, and i look back in the past and see how happy I was. I'm scared of time cause I don't spent time with my parents much cause they have to work all the time and I always wanted them to quit even if we didn't have money we are still together. My parents don't spent much time together cause my dad works in different areas of the country. my parents are deeply in love but separate from each other so we can have money to support ourselves plus both my parents had a terrible childhood with abuse and now they found love but they have to leave each other because of their children so they can support them. Of course they don't say that but I blame myself for what they go through and so I think I should pay them back with my life I have many dreams but I won't fulfil them so I can prepay my gracious and kind hearted parents.
1 like@Aleksander Kulewski i hope things work out for you eventually.
1 likeI wish you the best regardless of what you going through you'll get through it even though you feel the world is not on your side
@Daisy dupe this made me tear. Even what you going through you still somewhat sound strong though i hope things get better and you can see you parents more. Things will work out soon or later
0 likesNoope
0 likes❤️
2 likesThanks, that one actually helped me a bit... I needed that today
0 likesIts funny when you feel so alone that a simple comment can make you smile, thanks random internet user
2 likes.....
0 likesJessica Ramoganyaka thank you❤️ take care yourself
2 likesI won't. Life is shit. You won't. Life is shit. Embrace misanthropy and depression.
0 likesJessica Ramoganyaka thank you, I don’t think I will though.
0 likesouch
0 likesJessica Ramoganyaka thank you too 🙏
0 likesThank you
0 likesI’ll try. It’s not going to get me back to college, though.
0 likesThanks you're so nice
0 likesI dunno about that
0 likesThis made me cry
0 likesThis is cute 🤗❤️
0 likesThank you...I needed that
1 likeJessica Ramoganyaka yes
0 likesThanks, you to.
0 likesThanks
0 likesI hope so
0 likesWhen I started scrolling, I didn't expect to cry (but, like, in a good way)
0 likesIly
0 likesYou too... Please :)
1 likeI love you
0 likesThank u!
0 likesThank youu!! Ahaha
0 likesIt's 6-32 in the morning here as I scroll now, and thank you.
0 likesNo. I won't.
0 likesThank you 🥺
0 likesI love you
0 likesAm I the only one who's in a constant discussion with myself?
8300 likesReplies (96)
Hello it me
636 likesMysticVids Me too
22 likesMysticVids you put it in a sentence. Thank you 😅
36 likesme too
10 likesNo, I talk to myself almost all day, most of the time I'll have the conversations in my mind.
164 likesI feel like I ask myself a lot of things, that I do not have the answers to. But someone mentioned to me today, that I have the answers. I am just waiting for someone to ask the right questions. Make sense? I do not know. lol
60 likesI swear i talk to myself more than any other person on a daily basis... glad im not the only one lol
106 likesMysticVids technically any thought you think you speak to yourself in your brain. But also yes. I feel you.
9 likesYes! sometimes it feels like i am my own best friend???
57 likesMysticVids omg yes I feel like my self and my brain are separated they are constantly talking and my brain wants to notice every single thing in the room and it doesn't shut up I can't even control myself sometimes because of everything around me I try to shut it out but my brain just won't shut up and stop thinking I can't function normally and Ihave to act my whole life to seem normal I don't even remember who I am anymore it's so annoying having to constantly try to override your brain thoughts to seem normal, I just want it to end, I'm not going to end it all because I need to meet dodie first, she helps so much with this and a few weeks ago I started living in the now I'm finding it easier to act happy, I still don't know where I am though x
35 likesnope me 2
0 likesMysticVids I kind of have this too- more internally when I evaluate what I've done and often two parts of my brain conflict with exhorted it's weird idk
8 likesYeah I catch my self thinking "I've literally been dead inside for two weeks" and then my regular self is like "Woah, wtf who am I?" . Noice.
23 likesdoesnt everyone do that?
0 likesMysticVids that's kinda how thoughts work yeah
1 likein fact. that's exactly how thoughts work so all of you saying how relatable this is... it's because you're a human with thoughts. congratulations.
15 likesMysticVids check out A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, he will really help! It's a book btw ☺️
1 liketo feel less lonely ill memorize scenes from my favorite musicals and act them out- and when i do my makeup, I always act like the mirror is a camera, as if i'm taking a video of myself doing a makeup look. which means i talk to myself 24/7. idk
9 likeswhat nots I do that all the time! Especially the makeup thing.
0 likesI verbalize my inner dialogue out loud while alone in public places to avoid any possible social interaction with others because I'm already clearly in a deep conversation with myself. It's strategic word vomit. Also it just kinda happens, I just like that excuse.
7 likesNo I do that all the time like my mind doesn't shut up and I make this thing where I'm talking to myself although I'm aware I'm not 2 in 1 but I'll spend hours talking to myself in the bathroom about the struggles as if I have a YouTube channel when I don't.
11 likesFrancesca Conroy. ohmy goD i really thought i was the only one who split my brain into two parts like me and myself and ill talk to myself all the time like its a seperate person but part of myself
5 likesYes omg especially when I'm feeling my worst my mind won't shut up and I'm just thinking to myself in deep conversation and on the verge of tears when from the outside it looks like I'm doing normal daily activities like I'm literally washing the dishes or something lmao
19 likesomg yes!!!!!!!!!!
1 likeMysticVids O my gosh me too!
1 likeEvery single minute of the day, my head starts to hurt because I'm always talking to myself in my head and the other part of my head keeps replying and it's CONSTANT.
5 likesI'm the only person I talk to and get scared because sometimes I think I'm thinking out loud
2 likesMysticVids HOLY FUCK IT'S NOT JUST ME
4 likesMysticVids meee
0 likesYES OHMYFUCK I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME
1 likeMysticVids meeeee like my mind is like "bitch what are you doing" that's my bestfriend up there
2 likesMy self in my head bullies me they are all my unfiltered thoughts towards myself so it kinda feels like it is somenone else
2 likesno
0 likesMy brain doesn’t switch off. I’ve thought any though possible to think. I’m surprised my brain hasn’t collapsed in on itself and created a black hole. Actually I think it has...
1 likeOMG ALL MY LIFE IS THIS SENTENCE WTF
0 likesSame here!!
0 likesMe as well
0 likesI guess depression has many angles to it.
0 likesNo u're not LMAO I talk to myself outloud its like there is another person with me but its just me and I have really serious conversations with myself XXXD sometimes I be like wait imma tell what happened or wait imma explain like that inner me is someone else omg u know what I mean right
0 likesI always talk to myself and ask myself things and I would answer out loud when I’m alone and I always felt like it was creepy but I couldn’t like not talk to myself.
0 likesnoo i do i too
0 likeswrite things down.You cam get some fascinating things that you can be proud of out of it.I sure am fascinated about what i think about when im alone in the night.
1 likeNope, I do the same.
0 likesHoly fuck I thought I was crazy
0 likesNo me too
0 likesSamee
0 likesMe too. Glad to know I’m not the only one
0 likesnope.
0 likesYeehaw
0 likesnope
0 likesThat’s called thinking.
0 likesMysticVids same!
0 likesNo, I do it too. It's I have 20 little me's in my head with different mindsets in constant arguments over what I should do.
0 likesThe doctors say I'm normal in that regard so...
It's like i'm telling myself bad things. And then battling myself from the bad things that i am telling myself. Doe sthat make sense???
1 likeNo
1 likeIm so glad more people are being open about this because Ive felt so weird my whole life lol
1 likeMysticVids same
0 likesAbsolutely not
0 likesMe
0 likesI am talking to myself right now as I am writing this
0 likesMeeeee
0 likesMe too. Same
0 likesno
0 likesno
0 likesNope im here aswell
0 likesNo your not alone sis
0 likesMysticVids you know what you need to raise up
0 likesMysticVids no
0 likesBro me to lmfao
0 likes✋✋✋✋✋
0 likesthat is literally me..do you have insta? maybe we can chat
0 likesOmg me too
0 likesHoly fucking shit I thought I was the only one who felt this way
0 likesNo you're not.
0 likesYes! I'm starting to think it's not good, but part of me takes pride in this self consciousness, I dont know if it's good or bad xD
0 likesNah mate your not alone
0 likesme too
0 likesI have conversations with myself or people I imagine so no.
0 likesIt is good if you try to understand yourself better:)
0 likesStraight up. Always been like that. Constant internal monologue.
0 likesno im constantly discussing shit with myself
1 likeI have this too
0 likes@Francesca omg I relate so much to you and I don't why but I kept laughing the whole time bcz of how you described it
2 likesIsraa Nairi omg lol 3 years ago I posted that and I’ve just read it now and I was so dramatic
1 like@Francesca I mean I relate to litterly everything of what you've said lmao and I don't really think that was dramatic but I am now really surprised cuz I thought you were not gonna reply to me because you commented that 3 YEARS ago
0 likesindubitably
0 likesNope me too
0 likesYour problem
0 likesTo anyone who’s depressed or otherwise feeling down: you are strong, you are not alone, there is help, and it’s gonna get better. I’m mentally sending u lots of love ❤️
1 likeMe 😍
0 likesNo :/
0 likesNope ✋
0 likesme 24/7
1 likeThirstyspirit SAME OMG i only talk to my self lmao
0 likesNo wagyyy too lazy to fix that goodbye
0 likesYour not alone
0 likesOh my god. I couldn’t find this video for over a year because it was unlisted... I just found it again... I use it to feel normal when I feel the exact opposite for all the same reasons she talks about... I need this video sometimes. I’m so so so thankful for it. Thank you Dodie.
4 likesTo anyone who’s depressed or otherwise feeling down: you are strong, you are not alone, there is help, and it’s gonna get better. I’m mentally sending u lots of love ❤️
23 likesthank god she brought this video back
584 likesReplies (10)
Harvard Bum my thoughts exactly
5 likesWhat?
2 likesI’m confused
1 like@phia she made this video private, then turned public again
15 likesIkr I literally watched it almost every time I felt really depressed. It helps kind od
26 likes@shira n it feels like talking to someone who just understands how you feel.. and God knows how comforting it is to hear that you're not the only person in the world that feels like shit.
8 likesit's unlisted now. hope she's okay.
4 likesI can’t find her la la land vid I miss it
0 likes@Chris Rendon you can maybe find it in this playlists, where all her videos are - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL31nh1C8jGJAFLr8NlO_vYI25vaIchgMQ
4 likesor specifically this:
https://youtu.be/LaNmw6Jesiw
@olive green olive I love u more than the world u wonderful person
0 likeswhen I'm depressed I put on a comfy sweater get my edamame beans and watch this video. its not necessary uplifting but it makes me feel so much more understood then anything else which is really what I need.
11 likesthank you
Dodie. How are you??? I hope you are doing better. Please post and let us know. We love you. I love you. Im an old lady (52) and I fell in love with you accidentally as I was researching about La La Land and I found your awesome post about how much you love that movie. You remind me of my daughter. I see you have not posted in a week or so since this post, so please let us know how you are doing.
1736 likesReplies (11)
Mary Barbachano this is so cute ✨
72 likesDaniel Lawson...have you heard from Dodie? Is she ok? lol Thanks for your comment. I just love that cute Brit!!!
56 likesyeah she's fine
34 likesshes actually more than fine bc she's in japan touring so i think she's happier than ever
lol its judith WAIT SHES IN JAPAN
20 likesi dont want to be a downer but i'm not sure shes happier than ever, as dodie says travelling makes her a little disassociated. altho i do believe she is better than this video so thats definitely good <3 depression will always be a struggle once you have had it, you are aware you have the capability to go to that place. which is scary. however of course there are highs and lows so, there are definitely good days to live for <3
69 likesDan's Hobbit Hair I have seen u in Dan's comments
12 likesMary Carroll You seem like a truly lovely person. I hope you are doing well too.
70 likesMary Carroll you sound so lovely, i dont have anyone to talk to i wish my family, friends (not even one) and ugh i am just going towards this point shes at.
15 likesaaww I fell in love with dodi also.. and I said I was an oldie.. 45. I'm glad to see someone of similar age bracket here x
3 likesMary Barbachano This is kind of unrelated, but hot damn, if only I could look that good at 52! You're not an oldie at all though :)
0 likesYou're not old!! :)
1 likeI always go back to this video when I'm in a really hard time because it helps me feel less alone. thank you so much for putting this back up and sharing it with us.
3 likesI just watched your recent video, a classic beatles cover warmed my heart, but you said that you started to private or unlist your videos and I'm so thankful that you've only unlisted this one.
16 likesWhenever I'm depressed, like today, I come back to your channel and especially this video because it's so comforting to hear you talk about this so openly and explain depression in the ways I want to. When I told my dad I felt like I had depression, I sent him this video to explain how I felt and he understood and I just- Thank you so much for sharing your life with us and I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch right now with how you feel you've portrayed yourself on the internet, but the portrayal of yourself that you've shared has helped me so much. xo
Roses are red,
186 likesViolets are blue,
Attitudes are caring,
And so are you.
Orchids are white,
Ghost ones are rare,
Rapidity is amazing,
And so is your hair.
Magnolia grows,
With buds like eggs,
Surfaces are smooth,
And so are your legs.
Sunflowers reach,
Up to the skies,
The house is beautiful,
And so are your eyes.
Foxgloves in hedges,
Surround the farms,
Hands are skinny,
And so are your arms.
Daisies are pretty,
Daffies have style,
Your atmosphere is friendly,
And so is your smile.
Roses are beautiful,
Just like you.
hope this cheers u up took me hours to make
Replies (6)
@Klo Lem no problem :)
2 likesI'm thinking a lot of things about this... none of which make me happy. I'm sorry... truly I am.
1 likei'm so sorry.. it doesn't work sorry ;-;
0 likesThat’s fine just seek out what makes u happy
2 likesAnd good luck with your adventure to recovery
This person got the poem from this link, in which he did not take hours, but just minutes: https://www.poem-generator.org.uk
7 likesGood luck proving me wrong.
Sorry it took you hours because it didn't help
0 likesWhy are her eating noises so pure and adorable?!
273 likes😱😱😱
Replies (3)
Weirdest thing I've ever read
15 likes@mushroomeli LMAO
1 likeomg i asked myself why i am not annoyed by the sound even though usually i get mad at sounds like these even if it‘s only someone who breathes loudly
5 likesSometimes i can literally feel it but after it’s over i can never understand or remember the feeling of it
4846 likesReplies (33)
same! and when i try to explain it to my therapist, i never know what to say because I CAN’T REMEMBER UGH
156 likesWOAH SAME okay I’m writing this comment down lol bc I can never explain it
32 likesdear god I think that is the first time I see someone writing this and it is so true so fleeping true. Good god I am not as alone as my brain keeps telling me thank you
52 likesI have the same problem so when I'm going through an episode I'll write memos or record memos of how I feel the best way I know how and then read/play it out for my therapist at the appointment. It's easier than me not remembering.
32 likesMe too
2 likesMacey King yes! yes 1000×
1 likeThank FUCK I’m not the only one
7 likesYeah that happens to me as well. Which is why I normally describe what I’m feeling in my notes on my phone. I have pages and pages of just stuff that I’ve written whenever I’m feeling terrible. It’s almost become therapeutic in a way. I highly recommend it!
11 likesYeah, this is exactly what i think. I'm not alone anymore, thanks!
3 likesHappens to me all the time as well. I guess our brain is trying to block out the bad memories a little bit? That’s my case I think as I literally lose any memory of traumatic situations like almost instantly after they pass
9 likesMe too
2 likesHOLY SHIT. Yes..... You don't even understand how much better this comments thread me feel. I have doubted my depression was even real so many times because of this. It was literally the number 1 reason why I never went to therapy. Can't believe other people are the same....
11 likesMicka Lieta Yeah, I think it's dissociation. Happened when my dog died (I was a pretty huge dog person and pretty much loved my dog more than friends lol). I was surprisingly calm and apathetic about it all. I even tried to cry but just couldn't. Which was really weird cause I have an abnormally low threshold for tears normally and seeing my mom and sister crying should have made it easy. After about a week, I forgot what it was like to even have her around. It was absolutely strange and unexpected. Does this actually happen to people?
5 likesMacey King omg that’s creepy it’s the exact same with me
2 likes+Macey King SAME
0 likesSome days the feeling is there,and other days it’s like it never happened,but deep down you know you experienced the feeling,you know?
5 likesMacey King same with me it’s so hard to understand the feeling of it once it’s over & to remember it. While you are depressed it’s hard to talk to someone too because the feeling of it overwhelms with numbness and sorrow. :(
2 likesthis is so true
0 likesMacey King - yesS 👏🏼👏🏼
0 likesFUCK. You put it into words! I’m sorry for cussing but your comment hit me like a truck
3 likesOmg same
0 likesMe too
1 likethis is so true!
1 likeTOTALLY SAME
1 likeMacey King yess!!!!!
0 likesThis is the most relatable comment omggg. I hope you are fine💖
1 likeomfg same
0 likesme too!!!
0 likesThis is so trueee😥
0 likesMacey King omggggg trueeee
0 likesYes yes yes
0 likesMacey King oh my fucking shit YES
0 likesHey guys i commented this a while ago and i remembered it the other day and spent hours looking for it lol. i just wanted to say that if you related to my comment at all, or this video at all it really does get better. I never thought it would for me but it did, just keep up with healthy coping mechanisms that work for you! Love you all! Stay safe!
0 likesThanks for this, Dodie. I have depression and C-PTSD and some days I just feel trapped in shit. It’s really hard sometimes but I have good days and bad days. This is definitely what I feel like when I’m having a bad day, and I love you for making this to show what it’s really like. ❤️
2 likesi've come back to watch this video about four or five times since i was diagnosed with depression almost two years ago
5 likeswhen i'm feeling depressed and everything that usually makes me feel something just makes me mind-numbingly bored, it's comforting to hear that i'm not alone in this state of seemingly-endless emptiness
Replies (1)
yo i'm back
1 likeand this time my dad's watching with me because i wanted him to know what depression is like and also what dodie is like yeet
watched this video after dodie reacting to her 20 year old self. i’m so glad she’s doing a million times better than where she was around this time. she’s so successful and happy and content and she’s proud of where she is. i think we’re all proud of where she is today. <33
16 likesI've watched this video so many times throughout the years and I still come back here whenever I feel really low, it's like you remind me that you just just have to sway with depression and you're gonna be okay.
2 likesthis is the most relatable video I've ever watched. Thank you so much for this.
2315 likesReplies (3)
Lily Oh same
2 likesLily Oh Same here
0 likesSame!!!
0 likesI made a metaphor for depression for my friend and I figured I should put it here for those of you that haven’t experienced it.
237 likesImagine your life is like climbing a mountain. The top is your dreams and goals, happiness, marriage, whatever your final goal is. You climb the mountain with tools you have forged yourself, they are made of happiness, happy emotions, happy memories, all forged carefully to make your tools to climb the mountain, they are one of a kind, unique to everything else in the world.
You’re climbing the mountain will your tools, all is going well. Nothing in your life has disrupted you to climb the mountain and reach your ultimate goal. Then suddenly, without warning, something traumatic happens, an event, something somebody said, and you see a crack in one of your tools. You carry on, you think that one crack won’t do anything, but before you can climb even 3 metres higher the tool that was thought to be only cracked starts to crumble away. And then another traumatic event happens, your second tool cracks and again you try to climb again, and again it breaks and shatters. You look below you, into the mist and you can’t see the base of the mountain so you carry on, however your tools keep breaking and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t find the ingredients to forge more tools and there’s no way of getting to the top. You think about how far you’ve come and in one desperate last struggle you try to climb the rocks with your bare hands, and it happens. You slip.
You go tumbling back down the mountain, all those years of climbing, lost. You land at the bottom. It’s pitch black. Suddenly you can’t feel anything other than sadness. And you sit there, you have no energy other to lie at the bottom. You might try to find the emotions to make more tools and climb back up, but you can’t find any. Even if you do the forging is harder and more time-consuming than before. The tool ends up not even working. This is depression.
However, one day something happens, and you realise you can do it. And after millions of failed attempts at making a tool, you finally made one that works, you stare at it, you’ve forgotten the beauty of them, you marvel at it. And it happens again, you make another tool that’s good enough for the climb, eventually you gain back all the tools and the darkness begins to fade. However, your tools are different from before, they seem to show the scars of your time at the bottom, however these scars only make it stronger. And with refound strength you climb the mountain once again, from the bottom. But this time it’s different, this time you climb it a changed person.
You can overcome depression.
Thank you.
Replies (8)
❤❤❤❤
2 likesSuperb!
2 likesIn my case, it's different, though. You talk about a traumatic moment, something that happened or something that someone said... In my case, nothing happened. I don't remember a specific day but suddenly, I just became like this, feeling empty, nothing matters and every day looks the same and nothing will ever change. I won't kill myself but if I knew that I would die soon, I would feel relieved. In the meantime, I try to distract myself, I try to "not be there". I've talked with people about this and they all say "get help, go to a doctor. They have come up with good medecine nowadays, this could change your life". I don't disagree but have you forgotten that I'm depressed and being depressed means that I don't have the energy in me to get up, get ready, go to a doctor and then open up to him, find the courage to say the word "depression" (I know that nowadays, it's more accepted, better understood but still, I'm still afraid that someone might look at me and say or think "Really?! Stop being lazy and move your ass, just like everybody else. You're not special!") So yeah, I'll just stay here and keep watching Youtube videos. It helps to "disconnect" and "not be there".
15 likesOkay I just cried. And will print it or something.
1 likeThis made me cry fr
0 likes@Sergio S. yeah same
0 likes@Sergio S. Yeah. Agreed. I don't struggle so badly anymore, but I still have my days though that really come without warning. I don't need somebody or something to trigger it. It just happens. I promise you though, as hard as it is to get up and do it, finding some help can really improve your quality of life. I recieved treatment and it honestly changed my life, and I think it could really help you.
2 likesWoah😭😭
0 likesThis video is f***ing brilliant. Just the raw "here I am, and this is happening, and I have just enough presence of mind to film it." I appreciate that lots. Personally, I found SSRI's helpful. I mean, at first they just turned me into a big ball of numb, but after awhile that wore off. And then I didn't take them for a week, because I forgot to refill my prescription, and my brain was on the war path. So, I realized just how helpful the medication really is.
28 likesI was recently diagnosed with depression but every now and then I come to this video to feel less lonely. I love you, Dodie.
9 likesWhen I’m depressed and get nothing out of everything, I always come back to this video for comfort ❤️
2 likesThis is looks like me writing in my journal everyday. Depression sucks.
27 likesReplies (1)
Especially in 2020😀
2 likesThe beautiful irony in this video is how you assert that you are giving the viewer nothing, providing them with numb nothingness, when really for everyone that watches this and relates to it feels like you are giving them so much and I hope in at least some small way that can make you feel a little lighter when you are depressed and speak your mind
154 likesEver since this video, tea and edamame is my sad snack that I have when I don't feel like eating due to sadness but I have to give myself some kind of nutrients :') Warm tea is very lovely and honestly helps in its own way uwu
7 likesI’ve had DPDR for 7 years. I totally feel everything you’re saying. Feeling drunk all the time. I also can’t take antidepressants because I get all the terrible side effects. Through the years I’ve learned to live with it. Some days I feel “70% clear” others I’m just holding on by a thread. But being a mother of twins has made me push myself and get better. I have hope now whereas before I didn’t.
7 likesReplies (1)
Brittney Dawn you must be a strong women give yourself that.
0 likesI don't even know if I'm depressed or not. I understand Dodie perfectly but I'm not diagnosed, plus I'm pretty young, so I'm just so confused and sad all the time I just need a peace of mind
2421 likesReplies (88)
Random Randoms It'll be ok. Just try to appreciate the things you can, like great music and nice videos. Stay true to yourself and remember that people are here for you, including me. I wish you lots of luck.
43 likesRandom Randoms trust me just because your young doesn't mean you can't get depressedx
77 likesRandom Randoms same
2 likesDon't feel like you can't have depression just because you're young and I suggest going to a therapist if you feel depressed most of the time
38 likesyou can experience depression at a very young age. if you relate to/empathize with this video you probably have experienced it. I don't know how young you are but please get ahead of it as soon as you can. I wish younger me had sought help but I just didn't know what I was facing. don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. 💜💚
22 likesRandom Randoms even if you are particularly young doesn't mean you can still be depressed...my parents got divorced when i was 10 almost 11 and i felt depressed so it doesn't depend on age
6 likessadly you're never young enough
24 likestalk to a doctor or a parent or a counselor. not people on the internet. we may want to help but a lot of us are also young, or biased, or just uneducated. you will only confuse yourself more and possibly go along without getting any actual help by listening to strangers tell you "you're not too young" or "yup, you're probably depressed" when they have no idea what's actually going on. you do and if you think something's wrong, tell someone who knows you/ can provide actual help.
16 likeschildish green subhuman Ive tried talking to adults and they don't understand me. How am I supposed to understand what's happening to myself when no one can help me? It just keeps going in a circle. I try to talk to adults, they tell me what I'm supposed to feel, I don't know what to do. People here at least understand a little, but the adults here don't
10 likesLG Is that supposed to be a hate comment towards Doodie? Because I had already felt this way before I started watching Doodie. She helps me a lot, and I feel less hopeless when I watch her
5 likesi feel exactly the same
5 likesRandom Randoms you're fantastic and you deserve to be happier all the time, so try to help yourself by finding help professionally?? wishing you the best
1 likeRandom Randoms I feel exactly the same
3 likessame, I'm always confused and glazed over and sad but i don't even know if theres something wrong
8 likesexactly me
2 likesFirst of all, i hope that you feel better and happy. I hope you can get help and feel good about all of this. This is really sad and i really hope that you can get better and find someone to confide in.
14 likesNothing will be perfect. But you can be kind to yourself. One step at a time ((:
(Please take care of yourself. I promise that things will be okay in the end. It's okay to take a moment. It's okay to not be okay. Just breathe.)
This was so relatable. It all feels too real and like everything is too much. Especially when nights are especially bad. I can't seem to properly sleep. I sleep at like 4 in the morning and bawl my eyes out every other night. It's easy to find things that kind of fill the hole i feel in my chest but it fades away far too quickly and i'm left chasing what seems to be happiness but in the end, i realize it's not. (If that makes any sense.) It's extremely difficult when i can feel the air passing through my lungs, but can't seem to feel like i'm actually breathing. Like my lungs don't exist and it's been stripped from my chest. I feel so lost all the time and find myself questioning everything about myself and everything i do. I can't get professionally diagnosed, either, as my parents both insist that mental illnesses are not real, and are just a choice. My mother even told me to kill myself, and it's not like i haven't thought about it either. Sorry for writing a novel, you probably don't care. But i guess i just needed to at least say it. (Again, if that makes any sense)
If anyone actually reads this far, i'd just like to say thank you. It means a lot. Xx
+Randoms Randoms I used to have a fish called peace of mind but he died so I don't have peace of mind either
10 likes+Randoms Randoms sorry if I wasn't very sensitive, I was trying to lighten to mood I guess. I totally relate to your comment tho and I hope you feel better soon sweetie x
2 likesShona Mc09 I actually found your joke funny
3 likes+Random Randoms aha thanks, I'm glad
1 likeRandom Randoms I know exactly how you feel, I hope you feel better and things turn around for you! ❤
2 likesRandom Randoms im 12 but medicaly depressed you cant be too young.
8 likesSame
1 likeI started self harming at about age 13/14 because my granddad died and my parents separated when I was just about to turn 12. You're never too young to be depressed, it can happen at any age to anyone. CAMHS (Children and Adolescent Mental Health Services) are definitely something you should look in to. You can contact them or just try and talk to your doctor who can refer you, which is what I did. You'll get through it. Good luck
17 likesElliot hulse made a great video on this topic. Anybody suffering from this should definitely check it out
3 likesRandom Randoms me too
1 likesame :(
0 likesI could just copy paste this comment, this is me rn
4 likessame
0 likesRandom Randoms I have the same problem.
0 likesMe too
0 likesI thought I was alone on this
1 likeRandom Randoms same
1 likeRandom Randoms I feel the same
2 likesRandom Randoms me everyday
1 likethank you all for the sweet comments. it's surprising reassuring that so many people feel the same. thank you so much for the kind words. im trying to get better, and i hope you are too.
7 likesI get it, and I also think age has nothing to do with it. It just makes it harder for you to explain to older people who will most of the time not take you seriously. I also don't know if I'm depressed. It's so irregular for me, some days I'm completely numb, I dont feel sad or happy, just empty. Some days I'm super emotional but other days, and I hope I can say most of the days, I'm 'fine'. But I always feel like dodie tried to describe, in a total different world than other people. I just know that there is something very wrong and at this point I would really like to see a therapist but I also dont want to explain that to my parents.
13 likesI'm sorry but Doodie just made me laugh a lot
3 likesIsabel Vda i literally can't explain how much i relate to your comment. 💕 you can get through this, you can find a way out. i can too.
2 likesThank you, I hope you do to! I started uni in a different city away from home this year, the friends that I have made here are amazing but I can't talk about that stuff to them, I just know they will not be able to relate. And I think talking about it is so important to stop it from taking over your whole mind. I am considering online therapy, if you're interested: https://www.betterhelp.com/
0 likesThe first week is for free (:
Same.
1 likeSame. But it's not just today, it's been at least a month.
1 likesame it's been for forever though
1 likeabby all we see is nothing for forever
0 likesSame
1 likeWhat happens to me is one minute I'll be full of energy and I'm excited and I love everything and then the next I'll be tired and just done I feel a heavy weight in my chest and my brain just goes off against me-- another thing that happens is I get irritated and angry very easily sometimes. I also get paranoid and have trouble sleeping most of the time but again I am young and have never talked to someone about it- I don't want people, especially my family, to treat me like I'm fragile or saying that I'm overreacting and that I have no reason for this
6 likesmy mom has made a doctors appointment for me next week.
1 like@im so josh dun w u and same
1 likeRandom Randoms same...
0 likesholy fuck i get u so much. do u wanna talk? i feel like we could both discover some things, or at least feel not alone in this odd unclear Void of Sadness That You Are Unsure If It Is Depression Or Not. but your comment is 3 months old and i don't wanna touch up on anything kinda bad if you're in a good place right now. regardless, keep on killin it babe. i'm here and just as unsure as you are if you wanna hash it out xx
4 likesholy fuck i get u so much. do u wanna talk? i feel like we could both discover some things, or at least feel not alone in this odd unclear Void of Sadness That You Are Unsure If It Is Depression Or Not. but your comment is 3 months old and i don't wanna touch up on anything kinda bad if you're in a good place right now. regardless, keep on killin it babe. i'm here and just as unsure as you are if you wanna hash it out xx
3 likesEllie King only doctors can diagnose you, as depression manifests in lots of different ways, i know the NHS have questionnaires about depression, anxiety, etc..
2 likeshope that helps you x
justine a YES PLEASE. I'm doing fine now, genuinely, but there are always days where I feel exhausted from life. How are you coping with this feeling?
3 likesBonnie omg I just realised my mistake, thanks for correcting me 😂
1 likeI'm like you. Everyone annoys me, nothing cheers me up, I want to cry and as I'm young I have to hide it. It sucks so much and I've never told anyone so yeah.
2 likesat age 10 i wasnt diagnosed but i knew i was depressed and later at 12 i was diagnosed so you should ask ur mum/dad/who takes care of you if you can get tested
1 likesame. I actually cried today when I was depressed and I was usually the fun of our group circle so we were all quiet and they kept asking me and I was so sensitive and then at one point I made them guilty so I ran to the bathroom and bawled my eyes out because I'm just not worth talking to. and I'm still 11. yes, I'm v v fuvked up.
0 likesRandom Randoms ive been depressed since 9 years old. Age had nothing to do with it ☺
0 likesRandom Randoms Someone I can relate to. I used to self diagnose mental disorders on myself and try to be correct about simple sad days. The glorification of mental illnesses made me feel like jumping to conclusions of what could be wrong with me was cool and edgy or whatever. I feel guilty about it. I do have anxiety sometimes and many people have anxiety or will face anxiety at some point. I don't have severe daily anxiety disorder attacks. We all have happy and sad days. I'm sorry I just had to say my "story" i guess. Stay strong we all have bad days! ❤️
3 likesRandom Randoms And depression can always be controlled and helped. You are loved! ❤️❤️❤️
1 likeMega Fetus you perfectly described how I feel most of the time. I knew something was wrong with me, because everyone else was happy without forcing it, and I had to make myself smile all the time until it was a habit. Before I consulted someone about this, I wanted to diagnose myself with some form of illness but I never really felt like was in a certain category? Because of my age and stuff, I was really insecure about saying I had depression or anxiety so I didn't open up about it, and as a result, the signs got more and more obvious but I never acknowledged them, and it's even harder to accept it now
7 likesRandom Randoms I felt guilty about self diagnosis because I felt as though I was trying to be "edgy". I still feel guilty about it. We are happy and healthy beings! You are loved! Happy days, sad days for me seemed like a reason to make a scene out of myself. However, real depression and anxiety are different. I have minor anxiety from time to time but I promise you nothing is making you less human. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
3 likesSo this is what people mean when they say she confuses her young audience because she 'romanticises' depression. It confused me for a while but you and this commnet of yours... I get it now.
2 likesthat is puberty love!
0 likesI'm the same way. Not diagnosed but my therapist that my dad made me go to basically said that I'm depressed
0 likesJojo Jojo don't dismiss mental health just because they're young.Young people with mental illnesses need to feel validated,not that their feelings don't matter because its puberty
3 likesIt is perfectly normal to feel very low as a teenager, I think every teenager feels hopeless and depressed at various points. However, if it is affecting the majority of your days, and/or putting your health at risk, then it is always good to go to a doctor to see if it's something more serious. And, depressed or not, everyone should have a therapist!
4 likesI . Feel . The . Exact . Fucking . WAy .
2 likesRandom Randoms stop surrounding yourself with depressing stuff. It's possible you're forcing it on yourself
3 likesCerys D x I'm trying. I'm surrounding myself with happiness but the depressing feeling comes from my brain, not my surroundings. But there is a possibility it's because of my surroundings, so I'll be more aware. Thanks
7 likesSMILE BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE AN AMAZZING PERSON
0 likesRandom Randoms ask yourself a question -- are you depressed or bored? Usually you're bored :(
2 likesall the depressed guys turn up bc people just assume you're gay or crazy, haha isn't that just fun
2 likesKatelyn Fong I'm the same age and I'm not diagnosed.
3 likesBut I've checked similar stuff and it's really scary how much I can relate to it.
Also depression in children IS possible, just that people forget about it.
DerpyTheBananaG Minecraft&More ahahahh heyy phandom
0 likesL Lawliet I really hope that's what's happening to me.
0 likesEMMA LAROSE Thanks! I'm feeling ok, not the best but I've talked to a counsellor once or twice. It wasn't very useful regarding my improvement in mindset, but it's good to let out some feelings. I hope you get better, don't let your demons win
0 likesRaindrop ASMR that's a really good suggestion. I'll try to ask myself that, usually when I'm bored my mind goes hazy and the next thing I know I'm crying alone in my room
0 likesSadie Oagile if you look up a few comments you will find that I was 'depressed' way before I watched dodie. She never confused me but maybe she did with others, that's fine with me
1 likeSadie Oagile There is a H U G E difference between romanticizing a mental illness and being willing to talk about it openly. Practically nobody really wants to hear about it irl and I am so sick of it. Let her talk about how to deal with it in a healthy way for others
1 likeRandom Randoms i feel the same way i'm always very confused about my emotions and sometimes i feel as if i might actually be depressed but i don't know how my brain works
2 likesRandom Randoms same
0 likesRandom Randoms mental illness does not depend on age and i hope you figure this all out you lovely person
1 likeMe too. Obviously I'm not going to self-diagnose with something as complicated as depression, but even if I wanted to, I can't go to a therapist or anything until after I'm 18 because my "mom" doesn't care.
0 likesThat being said, I don't even want to go to one because I don't want to face the fact that I may have it. Some days I'll wake up and feel completely numb. Sometimes there's a reason, but more often than not there isn't. I'll motivate myself to take a shower, but I don't usually eat much at all (or I eat LOADS) and don't want to do anything except lay in bed and stare at a wall, which I've done before for almost an hour straight.
I need to get myself help, but even when I turn 18 I know I'll be too scared to do it. After all, why face a monster when I can just avoid it?
Rian Lewis I felt the same way for a long time. But I’ve talked about my feelings, first to a councilor and then to one of my close friends. I am not diagnosed, and I don’t want to be, so I understand how hard it can be. But maybe talking to someone will help you. It’s helped me, and I am happier.
0 likesthat sounds a lot like bipolar but they shouldnt treat you differently this is the type of mind set i want to change with my videos.. you deserve t take care of your mental health... if we are not healthy on our brains how anything else would be ok?
0 likeswhat do you mean by she romanticise depression?
0 likesuGh thanks for putting this into words; exactly how i feel.
0 likesLove the candor in this video. This is EXACTLY how I feel on my depressed days.
7 likesBut I think having the mindfulness that it’s temporary and a “chemical thing” is huge.
“It feels like I can’t open my eyes wide enough” - so fricken relatable.
"this constant longing for something."
14 likesThat is the one thing that has stuck around after my depressive episode after all the chaotic anxiety, sadness, hopelesness and despair faded.
It's hard to describe. The germans have a word that kinda encapsulates it. "Sehnsucht"
But it feels like a negative version of that. It's not about improving ones life in search of an ideal experience, but more like a mourning.
The only way I can describe it is like that feeling you get when you look at pictures of your grandparents and their dead friends when they were young. That feeling of sad melancholy about a period and time in a group of peoples lives that is gone. You'll never meet those people, they were and now they arent anymore. And it's a time, period and people you'll never experience.
That, but you feel that about your own life.
It's like living in past tense all the time.
All you can see is pasts. And they're everywhere. It's like you're taking on everyones regrets, missed opportunities, failures and falls from grace.
It's a really weird low-key hopeless feeling.
I love this video so much thank you for taking the time to talk about how you are feeling and sharing with us. It definitely gave me validation about the way I feel and specially the way you described how your brain doesn't feel that it's working and the lack of empathy between your functioning and depressed brains. I was relating so hard!
2 likesThanks for making this and I hope you, me and others who are going through something similar find ways to cope with and manage this and are able to see life as vividly and be excited about it as before.
5:01 this is a timestamp for me because whenever my mind is really stuck in a current issue i always think "yeah... i don't know." so it's nice to hear dodie say the same thing too.
2 likesI wish. I wish I could just sit and talk with Dodie and her followers.
990 likesAnd we would just talk and talk and cry and laugh for hours. together.
*sigh* I feel so lonely
Replies (18)
H. Moon dodie support group
31 likesThat would be nice
3 likesLet's start a group chat... who's in?
9 likesTyra Lauren yesss I'm in
3 likesTyra Lauren I'm in !
3 likesH. Moon 😔😔
0 likesI'm in
4 likesTyra Lauren super late but I’m in
2 likesI didn't see a link at all so I went ahead and made one. Hope you guys will join! Here's the link: https://discord.gg/ZcAgRZc
3 likesWAH DUDES IM SORRY I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO TIME
1 likeTHANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING ONE ILY IM SORRY D':
2 likesTyra Lauren No problem! See you there :)
2 likestalk to me babes
0 likesH. Moon same. Just exactly same.
0 likessame but i hate seeing her sad it breaks my heart but im happy she made this video and opened up to us a bit i actually love her and i feel for her and i know you do to
0 likesH I am so lonely too.
0 likesHoly shit that would be amazing (late reaction but i love this vid)
0 likesDon’t worry in here for you #DODIECOMUNATY
0 likesi’m glad she’s speaking out about her feelings, it’s radiating awareness and making the rest of us feel like we are not alone. thank you
1 likeI am here in 2020. This was the first video of dodie's I ever saw. I had been scrolling through YouTube trying to figure out why it felt like my brain was breaking. When I found this video I felt understood and not so alone. I now listen to all of dodie's music and love watching all of her content. We were both in a shit place then. I am glad you are doing well now dodie. I have also found my way with therapy and time, to a place where I can handle the heavy. Where I have a better understanding of why and how I went through what I did. Anyone watching this at any point in the future that is struggling, it will get better. I know it does not feel like it now, you do not have to suddenly be happy, but find the support where you can and know that you are cared for and not alone. Past, Present, and Future people will be where you are. Your feelings are valid, and you are worthy and loved.
3 likesthis may be weird, but i think this may be my favorite dodie video. which is a very bold statement to make, as there are so many amazing dodie videos.
3 likesbut something about this video - the pure, unfiltered honesty - makes me realize that life happens. things happen, and life isn't perfect. there are so many other people that our society idolizes who are so, so perfect and photoshopped in every way possible. life seems like it should be perfect when you look at them.
but this video brings me back down to earth. it makes me feel okay again, and not alone. thank you for this, dodie.
Watched this a few times and managed to both laugh and cry. Thank you, this was healing.
1 likeam i the only one that is now craving peas
1493 likesReplies (19)
lil Potato TV no same here
13 likeslil Potato TV oh wow thanks for reminding me now I'm hungry 😂
9 likesthat edamame tho
52 likesNope 😩
1 likelil Potato TV NO YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE😂😂😂😀
3 likesThat's edamame lmao
12 likesEdamame... also known as snap PEAS
6 likesSend Help i have a phobia of them. No joke
3 likesalexbutnotreally Omg I never knew that!
1 likeyeeees!
1 likeits edamame
3 likesSend Help no not at all
1 likeSend Help no
1 likeshe is eating edimame and it's amazing so in I sense I'm also craving peas...... I guess . no I just want edimame
2 likesDans Quiff i went to the grocery store with my mum to get peas after this
1 likeNopeee 😥
1 likenopee
1 likeWho would of known i'd get this many likes omg
0 likes@oli barnes No, that's a different thing. Edamame is soybean.
0 likesI added this video to my “how to cope with my depression” playlist. I always come here when I’m feeling down and it helps me a lot!
2 likesThanks, darling ❤️
I love this video. I was just getting out my depression when I first watched it. I never felt so completely understood.
2 likeswhen this video came out i was at the lowest point in my life. i was so glad someone knew and understood what i was going through. it’s been about a year and i’ve never been so happy. i love you dodie, thank you for making me feel not so alone when i was depressed
1 likethis is my favorite video of yours. i love coming back to it remembering that i'm not alone ❤️ i love you dodie
0 likesdepression is like dementors
1178 likesReplies (16)
if i'm not wrong dementors were based on depression
84 likesYeah, dementors are the best metaphor for depression. I find it's easier to explain depression when I compare it to dementors. Kudos to JK Rowling for creating them!
75 likesyup dementors were based on J.K. Rowling's depression when she lost her mother from multiple sclerosis complications... it's a very very good metaphor
117 likesTRU
2 likesautumn luna So we should all eat chocolate?
29 likesautumn luna yeah,j.k's depression was inspiration for them. Basically the human(but not really human) incarnation of depression
10 likessigh if only i'm not a muggle then i would expCETO PATRONUM ITS ASSSS
12 likesregienaxo g very true, when u get the dementors eat chocolate :) it helps
7 likesSo true
4 likesregienaxo g DEMENTOR, DEMENTOR!
1 likeI agree
0 likesEXPECTO PATRONUM
11 likesJK actually wrote/created dementors after her own experiences with depression
20 likesSo true
0 likesOceanne Li
0 likesWooowwww
Lucy Glover actually yes! dark chocolate especially! Dark chocolate can boost serotonin levels from both the serotonin and L-tryptophan it contains, but also because it contains carbohydrates in the form of sugar! carbs/sugars can signal the body to produce more serotonin. so although it's not super significant like an SSRI, it is actually scientifically proven to help depression because of the serotonin! that's probably why J.K. included the chocolate bit ☺️
0 likesThis helped me so much. You literally described everything I've been feeling and it's so comforting to know I'm not alone in all of this
0 likesI hope she doesn't delete this video I come here everytime im depressed and I feel less alone
6 likesPlease never delete this video. It’s helped so many of my friends. You’re amazing, Dodie ❤️
0 likesDark seems much brighter with people like you. Hopes and love for everyone friends! I will not successfully try to sleep
14 likesThis is how I feel all the time. I feel like you’re having a conversation with me and it kinda helps. Thanks
1 likethis is really how I felt while my depression, thanks for therapy, medicine and your videos it almost passed away)
2 likesthankyouthankyouthankyou
82 likesthis video is what made me realize i had depression
you were able to perfectly describe what was going on with my brain; i had thought i was just messed up
so now, i'm working with my doctor to find an anti-depressant that works for me, (prozac hasn't worked, we'll see)
i'm going to therapy every two weeks
i'm learning to be kinder to myself
thank you for kickstarting my recovery
Replies (6)
Clare no,,, sweetie please don’t self diagnose ???? see a psychiatrist?????
5 likesno.
12 likesyou don't understand.
i did see a psychiatrist, but you have to realize that something is wrong before you visit the doctor.
i am actually diagnosed.
clare
0 likesyay!!! i hope you find something that works :)
also, i like your profile picture. studio ghibli is what i watch during depressive episodes.
Just Monika.
5 likesread her whole comment. she’s working with her doctor. though i do agree people shouldn’t self diagnose, make sure they actually are before telling them not to.
@愛. 8 months late and this comment is so frustrating.. you have to have a sense of what's happening in your brain before seeing a psychiatrist. some people can't see someone for various reasons, and if you're feeling something, you're feeling it.
6 likesJust Monika. reading is fundamental, use it.
0 likesIt's incredible how you described exactly how I feel.
4 likesDepression is like having your body being present in the world but all of your senses feel there but they're numb, and your brain is just gone it's just empty
1059 likesReplies (14)
Eva Is not cool yup
0 likesEva Is not cool
14 likesDepression for me is like im drowning and asking for help but no one can see me or help me
Eva Is not cool yes totally. I m depress
0 likesBetty Zetty same its like im in a hole trying to get out but the darkness consumes me and and it seems like all of the world was going on around me but I can't pick myself up to do anything or prioritise anything that I should be doing
10 likeswhen you're falling in a forest, and there's nobody around. all you want is for somebody to find you
2 likesEva Is not cool I feel like I am in a labirent suddenly I am blind and cant see anything, I also cant talk and hear. I am asking for help but no one hears me and sees me like I hate this. Than I just sit there and give up. I feel so lonely.
0 likesRebornImmortal DEAR EVAN HANSEN
0 likesNow I know that I'm depressed. I just never really thought I was because so many people make it so mainstream.
1 likeEva Is not cool this is exactly how it feels
0 likes❤ ✨ Do agree 🙏very true.😔 trapped in place sometimes ..round and round xx
0 likesEva Is not cool yes thank you for finally saying it for what it is. Its just really hard to explain it to people who don't have depression.
0 likesEva Is not cool it’s so frustrating trying to explain it to people especially because for me i get so hyper and seemingly happy around people but in reality i always feel like i’m just in a really boring dream all the time
0 likesI find colours less vivid.
0 likesIdk if this is normal but mine feels wayyy sadder than everyone is describing :/
0 likesevery time I’m depressed I watch this video and it helps me feel less empty and lonely. Thanks dodie 💞
0 likesThank you for putting this into words. I hope you're feeling good and light today.
2 likesAlso, such a mood watching rick&morty and eating beans
still so grateful this video exists. it’s nice to have somewhere where i’m understood when i’m feeling this way too. you put my feelings into words.
1 likeI come back to this video on the really bad days to feel like someone is expressing what I feel unable to express in the moment. Please don't ever take it down. (Even though I have it mostly memorized at this point.) Love you, dodie.
1 likeThis is so fascinating and helpful. Thank you for sharing. I'm eternally optimistic and I've always had a hard time understanding depression because it's such an abstract idea for me. I've always wanted to empathize with those around me, but like your mother, I just do my best to cheer them up. But you really explain it so clearly. Thank you for that. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. -Brian
1160 likesReplies (19)
Perfect Little Planet yes ! I'm the same I can never quite understand depression but this video really helped. I always just want to cheer people up but I know it doesn't really work 😕 just wish I could help
17 likesJust telling a depressed friend/loved one that you're there and along for the ride is helpful. It's okay to ask if there's something in particular they need, but just ask them in the moment. Thinking ahead can be scary or impossible during a depressive period. Knowing that there's someone around during even the crappiest times (when usually a depressed person feels worthless and unloveable on top of the rest of things) is really helpful over the long term. It doesn't make depression go away, but it's like a little life preserver holding us up when it feels like the depths want to take us. Signed, A Person with Over a Decade of Depression experienced
32 likesNoah Thank you for the added advice. And in the future if you need a life preserver, just come back to this thread. I'm here for you. -Brian
11 likesThese comments creep me out honestly lol. The idea that there are some people that live their lives and haven't experienced feeling the way Dodie feels in this video creeps me out. And makes me a little angry, to be honest. Lol. But I mean good for you guys for wanting to have empathy for the people around you. That's nice.
28 likes@Tara, no of course not. Quite the opposite, I wish no one had to feel depressed.
10 likesMarissa Swain... uh, so you want other people to feel depressed? What the hell?
0 likesSylvyi, can you read? Lol. I said I wish NO ONE had to feel depressed.
6 likesIt is extremely to understand until you experience it. I'm glad people like you are around who want to understand because I'm so sick of people telling me 'there's no reason for you to be depressed! Your life's great! Be happy!' When it's an illness just like any other illness. My best advice to you would be to let the individual know that you are there for them and check up on them when you can (trust me a 'how are you' is enough) and try to get them to get help.
8 likes@Tara I DO understand, you just completely misinterpreted my comment lol. I'm creeped out because it's weird that something is so hard to understand for some, while it's a daily part of life for others. I'm angry that some people have to feel like this while there are others in the world who have the privilege of NOT feeling like this. And no, I never have been in a situation where I felt like I couldn't understand what a depressed friend was going through. But I can still appreciate that people who CAN'T understand what their friends are going through, are trying to understand them better to help. Never said I had a problem with that. I just think it's sad that any of us need help at all. It's not fair that illnesses like this exist. Good people shouldn't have to feel bad every day, even when they have every reason to feel good. People like Dodie. That's why i'm angry.
6 likesI understand what is being said by both sides here. It must be as difficult to comprehend someone not understanding depression as it is for me to understand depression. I do agree that everyone has their own struggles though. Just because I don't suffer with depression doesn't make me privileged. I have my own issues that I have been working on for years now and I wouldn't wish them on anyone. It's hard because the way I get through things is to always try and think positively and I want to give that advice but for depressed people it doesn't work. This is why I can't understand it, it's why I can't really help even though I only have good intentions. It's why I tend to stay away from subjects like mental illness because I don't want to say something wrong and make people worse
2 likesAh but the difference is that you can literally conquer EVERY OTHER PROBLEM in the world if you have a healthy brain. Literally. There are people who are poor, but are still happy, and therefore are living a fulfilled life. There are people with physical diseases, but have strong minds, therefore the ability to be happy even whilst sick. Not to mention someone who is poor may one day have money, and someone who is sick MAY find a cure to their illness. But there is no cure for mental illness. It either kills you in some way or you suffer until you're dead. So i'm going to have to correct you and state again that actually yes, it IS a privilege to not have a mental illness. If you have a healthy brain, you can find peace, no matter how bad life is for you. If you have an unhealthy brain, you will never find peace, no matter how GOOD life is to you. It is a literal curse. Sure, maybe she'll feel better soon. But then she'll feel bad again. And then worse. And then better. This cycle continues forever and there is no way around it. I'm pretty sure she's said this herself before. So. There's that.
1 likeMarissa Swain that's fine but I just want to make sure you understand that just because I have a healthy brain it doesn't mean I'm happy or am guaranteed to have a happy life. Just because I'm not depressed it doesn't not mean I'm not sad. Heathy people are not always happy. Not every poor person can feel fulfilled nor can every stick person fully come to terms with their illness. Through the way you have commented it seems you have a lot of animosity towards people who are not depressed which I do have to question.
0 likesHey Hannah, sorry I hadn't even seen your comment. I was replying to Tara really, not you. But yes obviously not every person with a healthy brain is happy. I know that. We all have things that we go through. I'm simply saying that by having a healthy brain, you do have the ABILITY to be happy. After going through something difficult, it is more probable that you will be able to feel better again in a shorter amount of time, in comparison to someone dealing with a mental illness. Which isn't a bad thing, it's a great thing. And I don't have any animosity towards people without mental illness. I have it towards the world itself lol. I won't pretend i'm not bitter about it. But I wouldn't wish the torture on a mental illness on anyone. That's why I was trying to explain that in my original comment, I wasn't saying that I wish EVERYONE felt depressed. I was saying I wish NO ONE was.
1 likeAlso I hadn't seen the part where you said you had been dealing with some issues for a long time yourself, until now. Sorry about that. I hope you're able to overcome whatever things that you've been going through one day. x
1 likeMarissa Swain ah that's okay sorry I hadn't realised. All I'll say is that although there isn't currently a cure for mental illness I hope you can at least see that there are many things that can help. Things that can break that cycle maybe not forever but at least for a little while. It's probably the depression talking when you can see no way out of it. But there are steps you can take to relieve it a little
2 likesPerfect Little Planet that's the same with me!
1 likerubs your head Gimme some of that eternal happiness. ; v ;
0 likesPerfect Little Planet ||Very sensitive persons can feel depressed... Cause they think of everything and at the bad things SOMETIMES, you know.☺The thing that can make you feel better if you're depressed? DO SOMETHING. Anything. Phisical Exercise is good for mental health.😊||
1 likeI've had depression and anxiety ever since I was eight so I can relate but my parents didn't understand. Ugh I feel dead
1 likei just ran across this video and I love it, simply because you just put into words exactly what I'm feeling currently. I genuinely searched 'I am sad' on youtube, and this video popped up. I feel seen, which is the most cliche phrase ever, but right now, it feels nice. It's good to know that I'm not alone (even though I know I'm not). Thank you.
2 likesI just love the vibe of your videos. Your voice, the environment you film in and the way you tell stories is so relaxing and makes me feel so chill and happy💖
0 likesI love that this video is back. It describes my feelings so well and I come back to it every ones in a while to feel less alone in this. We love this girl ❤️
0 likesDodie,
0 likesI know you're doing amazing things and you'll probably never see this, but I want you to know that this video helps me when I'm depressed feel just a tad less alone. I know you put this video on private and then unlisted it, but I just want you to know I appreciate this. I feel like I have someone to feel things with.
my favourite kind of people are those who can put into words things that i can't
1901 likesReplies (1)
Karupé I'm in. (please).
0 likesive watched this video several times when i feel depressed , and its given me so much strength and i realise I'm not the only one in this situation. i love you dodie , thank you xxxx
0 likesWhenever I feel sad I just snack on beans and have a cup of tea with Dodie ❤
0 likesThanks Dodie for explaining depression at the best of your ability. So relatable. You are so amazing!
0 likesi haven't been on this channel in a few years, but this video is something i'll never forget. i remember when it first got uploaded, and while i've never been diagnosed with anything, i could really resonate with what you were saying - it made me feel heard, like i wasn't alone, and i'll always feel grateful for that. sometimes when i'm sad, i'll check on your channel and look for this video again though with no luck. much to my surprise, i just found it's been unlisted and you can't imagine how happy i was to find it again! even if i'm not in the same place i was all those years ago, even if i am doing much better than before, knowing this video is still around and available feels like a huge safe place. i know this was random, but thank you sm and i hope you too are doing better. {:
2 likesI was at a friend's birthday party yesterday, and the entire time I was there I felt awkward and uncomfortable. Everyone was laughing and screaming and I felt like I wasn't really there. Then about halfway through the party, I snapped and completely shut down. We were all sitting in the living room and watching a movie, and I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was staring at the TV screen, I could hear what the characters were saying, I understood everything that was going on, and I could hear everyone laughing and joking around and I just felt so detached. One of my friends asked me what was wrong and I could hear her but I felt so distant so I just kept nodding and saying I was fine but I was so spaced out that I couldn't even bring myself back like I'm usually able to and it was one of the worst feelings ever because I felt like I was ruining my friend's birthday party with my detachment. I just wanted to be at home, and I felt so lonely, despite being in a room full of people.
207 likesReplies (11)
Adia Ivory I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN
7 likesa potato I'm so glad I'm not the only one!!!
3 likesAdia Ivory 😊
3 likesAdia Ivory that's a lil thing called depersonalization
3 likesI've been looking into that for quite a bit in the past month, and it lines up perfectly with how I feel. Not sure where to go from here, but it's comforting to be close to having a label; a reminder that what I'm feeling isn't my fault.
5 likesAdia Ivory that's called an off day. Definitely doesn't mean you have depression.
1 likeCerys D x I'm positive I don't have Depression or anything like that, I just wouldn't consider how I'm feeling an off day because this happens very frequently
4 likesAdia Ivory what the fuck taht happens to me ive never heard of anyone talk about this before, do you know what it is???
2 likesTyla Z From what I've looked up, it's called Depersonalization. Derealization is also connected with it as well, but not everyone experiences both.
2 likesThis literally happened at my friends birthday party/sleepover to me and I broke down and cried, I tried to explain but I couldn't, I think one friend kinda understood but idk, I had just been hyper aware all day, alert to everything and it was a lot to process
2 likes(i have Aspergers) I guess it was too much because my brain switched off and stopped processing information. I felt very detatched and isolated but I felt better after I had cried, had some food, talked to my friends. I felt shaky for a while but everything kinda went back to normal again.
I really understand you. It only happens sometimes so I know I don't have depersonalisation, but it sucks
0 likesI always manage to find my way back to this video, and every time I'm simply astounded at the idea of green beans as a comfort food.
4 likesReplies (1)
Seph Kennedy
1 likeactually, they’re edamame beans :) you can buy them in single serving bags. you empty them into a bowl, salt them as much as you please, and then microwave them and they’re a good snack for a healthy diet or when you’re depressed. i highly recommend them
i always come to this video when i’m feeling this type of depression like i know it’s chemical-based and not an over exaggeration of a situation i’d be going through. idk why but i feel less alone and feel a bit better when i watch this so thank you dodie <3
0 likesYou're so relatable and true, in a way just so pure and lovely.
3 likesOh my god. I’ve never heard someone put into words exactly what I was feeling, especially when you were talking about how physical the depression feels, like you can feel the chemical changes in your brain. I tried explaining this to so many doctors and they didn’t understand me. Thank you so much for this.
0 likesI can relate to most of what you said. I haven't been to a psychiatrist nor have I been diagnosed, but I have days just like this (today was one of them). Dodie, thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts with us, I think there definitely needs to be more awareness of mental illness. Though, I am sorry you are going through this, I am glad you can give some awareness to people. You may help other's who are struggling and aren't sure what's wrong find some help by maybe going to see a psychiatrist or something. Thank you!
118 likesReplies (1)
Have you been to your GP?
0 likesThank you dodie for describing what you feel so well. It really helps me, thank you
0 likesyou're describing exactly how I feel Dodie. thank you for this video
0 likesThis is super relatable and it's cool that she posted this because it makes me feel less alone
2 likesIve probably already said this but
0 likesthank you for this video. I watch it when I’m having a depressed day and I empathize completely. So well explained. Just so well. Hope you’re having a good day.
I’m watching this for the 400th time because today was one of my bad days yet again. Just felt like commenting into the void that this is how I feel today and I need to remind myself that it’s okay to feel this way.
5 likesI love how real this video is. I honestly feel like this most days. Probably a bit selfish but it’s interesting to see someone else going through similar things. Makes me feel less alone.
0 likesHi thanks for checking in,
2833 likesIM STILL A PIECE OF GARBAGE
Replies (19)
yaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
16 likesWhen did I give you permission to make a biography about me?
39 likesXLost MemoriesX
13 likesbill wurtz is my man
insert applause here
12 likesHey how did Bill Wurtz appear here😂
4 likesI love garbage! The best part about garbage...is digging for treasures.
2 likesIf you're garbage, can I take you out?
3 likesWe could make a religion out of this
3 likesI like your pfp
0 likesLife
0 likes@faith milne Just chill. It's a joke.
0 likesThat is literally my name
0 likesAs someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am now obligated to pick you up. Is seven okay?
0 likesPineapplix I love how I’ve seen like three pick up lines about his phrase lmao
0 likesit’s called a garbage can, not a garbage can’t!
0 likes@Yash Khurana smooth
0 likessame energy
0 likesDo you feel better now? How are doing?
0 likesSame
0 likesi have watched this so many times, i already know what she will say and say it with her while i eat my edamame beans and drink sum tea.
7 likesit doesn't magically make me feel better but it does give me some to distract myself with and not feel so alone.
lmao when i get depressed i dont wanna get dressed or showered, or out of bed and so i don't, until my anxiety goes um everyone is gonna think you're gross and lazy so i'm like FUKC SAK E
3303 likesReplies (47)
Zoe H Omg same
2 likesZoe H that's actually really interesting tbh.when my depression is really bad i feel the need to do everything like showering or chores over and over again just so something feels normal
21 likesZoe H exactly
1 likeZoe H omfg literally
1 likeZoe H The worst part is you feel heavy and don't wanna move even though you really want to.
18 likesZoe H me too
0 likeslegit this so much i come across as functioning most of the time but inside i'm just like 'lol fuck this everything is shit'
13 likesZoe H Sounds like me tbh.
1 likeZoe H I can strongly relate because being depressed just like takes all your energy until your left like a lump on the floor and i don't want to do anything...i'm a particularly depressed rn so yeah....honestly i don't want to do anything but of course i have to go to my dad's🤦🏽♀️wish me luck😓
7 likeswhen I'm feeling particularly depressed i dont wanna do anything. it's like I'm too physically weak to do anything. I also can't feel anything other than a kind of heaviness and weakness. it's weird how it takes all my energy to do nothing. literally nothing. I could sit on the floor and just be exhausted.
9 likesZoe H For some reason, even though I'm extremely tired, I always have to take a really long shower when I'm depressed. Just because I'd rather feel depressed and clean then be depressed an smell like vagina
2 likesZoe H im always depressed. depression is like a normal too me
0 likesZoe H EXACTLYYYY. ITS SO ANNOYING
1 likeBlue Clouds same
0 likesZoe H yeah that's me right now. I just ran because I thought that could help for some reason and now I'm just gonna not shower and lay staring at my ceiling for hours. I hate the contrast between depression and anxiety because I want to just lay in my bed forever but I know that if I don't shower right now I'm gonna have acne and I hate it ugh
3 likesZoe H yeah. too tired to accomplish something, too anxious not to feel pressured to.
1 likeZoe H I feel you
0 likesyou do realise that not a single person here said that they are only sad for one day?
7 likesi'd like to point out to you that every single depression is different. some depressions last life times, some comes in waves. please decide to educate yourself even slightly on a topic before trying to tell people that they are wrong for something they may have experience with :)
18 likessaaamme
4 likesZoe H
0 likesI was about to comment that
Zoe H SAME
2 likesZoe H same though
0 likesZoe H same
0 likesdepression, social phobia. if perfectionism prevents you from doing your tasks, your mind goes crazy, you panic, your body is affected in every possible way, heart racing, you want to vomit. you're afraid you won't keep up to your self-made too high expectations. in the end you've done nothing, not even the easiest task and feel like a failure..and that's another story
5 likesZoe H relatable
0 likesZoe H same
0 likesNeil Mcinnis chill
2 likesNeil Mcinnis you obviously never struggled with depression... depression doesn't just disappear when you decide to go on a walk or go out to eat!! Whether or not you are struggling with something in life, depression will come unannounced.It doesn't just disappear just because your mom is planning a trip!!! Depression is of course different for all people. People with depression ARENT SPOILED BRATS!!!!!!!!!
0 likesAnnaliese Laupp calm down
0 likesBlue Jay ???
0 likesthis is me everyday
0 likesZoe H THIS IS ME TOO
0 likesSO FUCKING RELATABLE
5 likesOkay me. Everyday.
2 likesZoe H same
0 likesZoe H same
0 likesSame. And i feel so gross bc i havent showered in like three days all ive been doing is laying in bed and its so horrible. Like Im so depressed i feel numb and i dont even feel like an actual person anymore.
3 likesZoe H
1 likesame
Zoe H I relate SO MUCH ohmygod
0 likesZoe H same, I literally got up at 2 pm today and only cause I was scared my mum would think I'm lazy.
1 likeme too
0 likesZoe H c
0 likesWhen I'm depressed, I just have a full on existential crisis and don't get out of bed.
0 likesZoe H same lol
0 likesActually me
0 likesZoe H me too
0 likesI've been dealing with my depression since I was 13 years. I totally get where you are coming from.
0 likes“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Jesus ( Matthew 11:28)
2 likesYou're literally the First person ever that would actually understand how I feel. My mom is really kind and helps me a lot with my depression but she doesn’t understand... Im sorry that you have to feel like that but I'm relieved that im not the only one who feels like that
2 likesi know that this video was made in a dark place. and it was made years ago. and she doesn’t want people to see this side of her first off. but i watch this every time i feel depressed or just kind of sad in general. and it brings me a little bit up. so thank you for this video. i cry every time i watch it, but it’s good. i get something out of this video. and in case you ever see this, thank you.
3 likesI remember when they played a clip of this video in a panel at vidcon. You and three other people were talking about your impact on the youtube space. It was one of the most emotional days of my life. Once you saw the clip you cried, as it reminded you that you were depressed, and i couldnt handle it. I burst out crying, i was shaking, trying not to be loud. You looked over, saw me, and asked if i was okay with the best smile you could do. Thankyou dodie for making me cry. It may not seem like a good thing, but feeling something was really what i needed then. I love you and your videos, please feel better (everythin will be ok)
266 likesReplies (1)
I love her so much, she can forget about her own troubles to make sure others are ok :)
12 likesI work six days a week, and how you described what your brain feels like is exactly how I felt yesterday on my day off. I've been feeling fine the whole week, and had a bunch of stuff planned that I needed to get done I just woke up totally in a different head space and exactly as you described.. I wish I could control my brain 😢 but I also remind myself that it's okay to be kind to myself on those days and just go through the motions
2 likesDotty, thank you for this video. I haven’t watched your videos in a while because life is crazy but this video has always stuck out to me. I personally do not have any diagnosed mental illnesses, nor do I believe I have any, but knowing someone I have looked up to and admired has rough days/weeks/months/etc really helps me when I have a rough day/week/month/etc.
0 likesi can't thank you enough for sharing this video!!! it makes me feel so much less alone with what i feel almost every day:)
0 likesi watch this video everytime i feel like this because in those moments i can relate to almost every single thing you're saying lol. makes me feel a little better, thanks
0 likesactually today im 3 months clean from self harm
3380 likesReplies (154)
<3
19 likesyou're doing so well❗💖
41 likesNinidude congratulations !! :))
15 likesKeep it up dude :)
14 likescongrats!!! proud of u!!!
21 likesNinidude that's awesome! Congratulations!!
9 likesAwe that's amazing keep it up <3
10 likesThat's amazing. I hope you're proud of yourself because I don't even know you and I am. You must be so strong keep going! <3
10 likesThat's amazing! You are so strong :)
5 likesThat's incredible! Congratulations! You're so strong!
4 likesYou're doin amazing!!!
3 likes<3 <3 <3
3 likesNinidude YAY im so proud of you, even thought i dont know you❤️
5 likesNinidude Congratulations! Keep going! I believe in you. :)
5 likesI don't even know you but I'm proud of you. That's so brave of you. You're so strong.
6 likesI AM SO FREAKING HAPPY TO HEAR THAT.
7 likesyay! keep it up! i believe in you!
3 likesNinidude omg im so proud of you stay strong and know you are AMAZING
2 likesOh my goodness congrats!!! I'm really proud
3 likesNinidude amazing job!!! I've been about 3 years clean. I used to self harm when I was younger and I'm so proud of everyone who is at least 1 day clean!!
7 likesNinidude I'm!!so!!proud???
2 likeseven though i don't know you i am so proud of you and i hope one day i can say the same for myself. <3
4 likesNinidude we're all proud of you!
2 likesNinidude hell yeah!!!! Good for you buddy
2 likesThat's amazing! I don't know you, but you're amazing and I'm proud of you. You are so strong, things get better. Best of luck! xx
1 likeProud of you xx
2 likesgood for you! I hope you feel proud of yourself. you deserve it. you should treat yourself :) you are so strong and you should celebrate progress no matter how big or small:)
4 likesgood for you<333
1 likecongrats!! keep it up, stay strong xx
2 likesNinidude i'm so happy for you❤
1 likeNinidude good job fren I'm proud stay alive
1 likeNinidude congrats!!!!!!! I'm really happy for you even though I don't know you
1 likeaaaa i'm so proud of you!!
0 likesYayyyyy!!!!♥️
0 likesYou are so strong and amazing ahhh I'm so happy for you yes you can do it and before you know it, it'll be a year clean :)
0 likesI'm 3 years clean!!! You're doing so great!!!
1 likegood job <3
0 likesNinidude i'm so proud of you!!! that's amazing <3
0 likesNinidude even though I do not know you, you seem like a good person. congrats and keep up the good work!❤
0 likestoday i am 8 months clean <3 stay strong
3 likesGood luck on the journey ahead.
1 likeNinidude m good job!!!!!
0 likesCongratulations!!!
0 likesThat's so awesome! Keep at it I know it's difficult but you can do it!! Well done so far! 😄
1 likeNinidude that's great! congrats!
0 likesI'm proud! 💕
0 likesNinidude good job hon! I'm proud of you!
0 likesThat is AWESOME. You must be so proud of yourself for keeping this fight until now. Keep going my friend :)
0 likesI AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU! 💕
0 likesNinidude I'm so proud of you!!!
0 likesNinidude Congrats!!! That's absolutely wonderful, good for you <3
1 likeNinidude congratulations that's huge!! The beginning is the hardest part and you've done it, there is no doubt you'll be able to keep it up❤❤
2 likesTHATS FRICKEN GREAT! i've been a year clean and it feels amazing! every little milestone is a little closer to feeling yay about yourself and that is amazing
1 likeNinidude nice!! I'm close to 6 months free of most types of self harm
4 likesgood job ^-^ x
0 likesNinidude i'm 6 months tomorrow :)))
2 likesNinidude congrats, I'm proud of you :)
1 likeNinidude 3 days for me
6 likesYAY!! proud of u!!
0 likesNinidude happy for you
0 likesNinidude I'm proud of you
0 likesSo proud of you xxxxxx I know how difficult it is to stop self harming but trust me, as soon as you hit a year of no self harm it some how becomes the easiest thing.
1 likeI know this because next month I'm 2 years clean
1 likeNinidude I was two weeks clean today but stuff...happened
1 likeNinidude Good job mate 👍👍 keep it up
1 likeNinidude I'm almost 2 weeks clean! Congrats :))
4 likesNinidude good job man ♥
0 likesheh. I'm almost a month clean, and nothing has ever helped me through this as much as Dodie's videos have.
1 likei've been seven months clean and broke it yesterday. this video described all my feelings. i am so proud of you for being clean, i hope it continues. much love 🌬💕
2 likesNinidude Good going! I'm really happy for you.
1 likeNinidude well done stay strong 💗
0 likesNinidude stay strong<3
0 likesNinidude good job stay strong lovely❤️❤️
1 likeNinidude I'm so proud of you! :)
2 likesIt's been about a year for me :) It is possible, and I fully believe in you ❤️#WeAreStrong
5 likesNinidude thats so great!
0 likesNinidude well done xx
0 likesNinidude YAY! Keep it up <3
0 likesNinidude I'm so proud of you, today is my 220th day and some days I don't even think about it <3
1 likeNinidude well done 😃😄👍👏💕💖💗💝💜💙❤💟💞💓
0 likesNinidude proud pf you <3
0 likesNinidude I'm 2 years! Well done. keep it up ☺
1 likewell you seem to be the only one who seems to care.
0 likesNinidude well done that's amazing
0 likesNinidude so proud of you 💙
0 likesNinidude I'm proud of you!
0 likesNinidude congratulations I'm so happy for you
0 likesNinidude congrats friend <3
1 likecongrats !! <3
0 likesNinidude congratulations! Well done!
0 likesthat's amazing oh my gosh well done <333
0 likescongratulations! ♥
0 likesKeep it up, I'm so proud!✨
0 likesThat's amazing, I'm soo happy for you! ✨
0 likesThis is amazing. Keep going you can do that. You can be proud.
1 likeYou're fricking great! Keep going <3
0 likesthat's so good!!! keep it up!!
0 likesI'm so proud of you! Keep going, you are important! 💗
0 likesawesome!!!!! keep it up, youre amazing!
0 likesthx for all the support fwendos ^-^
3 likesthewewguy8t88 no, never do that. so many people would be devastated if you did that. i would be devastated. dont let people do that to u. just block them haters out, if they really say those things, their opinion shouldnt matter.
2 likesNinidude this is incredible, keep going!! You can do this:)))
0 likesYAYAY IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
0 likesNinidude ❤️❤️❤️
1 likeNinidude thats amazing ❤️
0 likesCongrats for all the people who are getting clean! i am very proud of yall
8 likesNinidude Thanks X (10 weeks clean :D)
5 likesyayy, stay strong
1 likeNinidude amazing! Please keep it up ❤️
0 likesThis is the most positive comment thread I've seen on this site. It's been a year! I hope you're doing well
0 likesCongratulations love
0 likesJust keep fighting the depression monster and use the power of prayer, ask God to carry you.
0 likesI'm so proud of u congrats!
0 likesAyyyyyyyy! Good job!
0 likesNinidude welldone it’s tough but your getting through it very proud x
0 likesSo friggin proud of you wow! <3
0 likesHang in there u are loved and you can love. Give yourself one thing to focus on. A food, a book, something to keep you here. You can do it! <3
0 likesi don't know how you're doing now but
1 likeim still so proud of you
Ninidude I hope you made it clean still today but it’s ok to have bad days, we all have them
0 likesJust remember your are not alone and it will be ok ❤️ even if you didn’t make it to a year I’m proud of you <3
Ninidude
1 likeyay! i hope you’re feeling okay now, and if not i hope you get there one day. i’m not clean from self harm but i’m trying to quit.
Ninidude sooo good, I’m happy for you
0 likesIdk u but i'm so proud of you
0 likesReplying 2 years in advance, hope you're still keeping this up. I've been there <3
0 likesi know this was 2 years ago but congrats!! hope you're doing well <3
0 likesWELL FUCKING DONE! IM SO PROUD! ALL MY POTATOS ARE PROUD TOO!
0 likesim really late but good for you!
0 likesNinidude I am so proud of you. Keep going. You got this !
0 likes<3
0 likesNinidude good for you!!!!!
0 likesWow lovey! Hope you’re still doing well!
0 likesNinidude congratss
0 likesthat's amazing. I really hope you keep it up.
0 likesNinidude, great job! Hope I can make it there too!
0 likesgreat job!!
0 likesHow r u now? Did u ever go back? I need some advice bout it
0 likesTwo years later. How are you feeling? Still clean? It’s okay if not, we can always start again. Let me know, I’m curious. Xx
0 likesGood keep staying clean
0 likesohhh ❤❤
0 likesohhh ❤❤
0 likesYay!!!! It's been almost a year. But recently I have a feeling that it won't be long before I start again.
0 likesI self harmed today after being clean for more than 1 year. I usually dont write these things in social media but...I'm depressed and I don't care.
0 likes@Fernanda __ dw I relate
0 likesThat's amazing! I'm late on this, but I hope you're still going strong!!! That's a very, very hard thing to do. You have my respect
0 likes😍😍😍 you're amazing!!!!!
0 likes@Ziggorro currently a week clean
0 likes@Ziggorro I'm trying not to so I promise
0 likesWoop woop 🙌🏻🙌🏻 that's so amazing:)) like u :)
0 likes❤❤❤
0 likesawee good job!
0 likeshope you’re doing well
0 likesHero💔💔
0 likesI hope that's 3 years now :)) ♥️♥️
0 likesim late, but that's amazing :)
0 likesVery late but congrats :) I hope you're keeping it up! How are you doing? <3
0 likesYour singing my life with your words. PTSD is the troll on my shoulder. Thanks for sharing your experience. ✌❤
0 likesI watch this same video everytime I'm in the middle of a depressive mindset, and it helps somewhat, thank you so much😘😔
2 likesthis video always gives me an open space to feel and feel a little less isolated in my experience, even though they’re different. thanks 💛
0 likesIt’s very phisical the sensation for me too. Specially when I feel right again, I can actually notice my brain feeling different, like itching even lol.
1 likeI don't have depression. At least I don't think so. At least... Well I'm not sure. But I get days when I'm just so.... So unmotivated to do anything. Everything is a hassle, and I feel like I'm bored, and empty, and nothing can fill that feeling.
874 likesI started to watch this video and once you started describing how you felt, I had to pause the video because I started to tear up. Because that's how I feel sometimes. That's how I feel right now. So I wrote this comment.
So thank you for this video Dodie, it's already making me feel better because it feels like you know exactly how my brain is feeling and you are talking about it. And I'm enjoying your voice, and listening to you, so thank you 💕
Replies (13)
Jill Stephenson I relate 100% to this comment. I still really need to talk to my parents about it cuz I really need help. It's getting worse I think. I'm starting to think of ways I could die, and imagining the whole thing. I even think about hurting myself but I don't.
52 likesHey how's it going now? Did you talk to your parents or go to see a doctor?
9 likesThats called being human :)
4 likesThis is me in a comment
2 likesI hope your alright, remember that its okay to feel sad sometimes and that its all going to be alright in the end. you are loved and you are valued. love from the other side of the world.
5 likesYou are depressed, you're literally starring depression in its face
4 likesme too i kept tearing up as she described some things which happen to me ❤
0 likes@sleepyheadvinyl u should talk to anyone u trust, it may be teacher, friend, sibling, school's psychologists, literally anyone, u should tell them about the way u feel, tell them everything that will come to your mind
2 likes@sleepyheadvinyl u should never ignore the way u feel, mental health is so important, u need to talk to anyone about this, you're worth, beautiful, smart and ENOUGH just the way u are, u deserve to be the most happy YOU, u deserve all the happiness in the world, don't let anyone tell u that u don't
3 likes@sleepyheadvinyl i hope u will be okay soon
3 likesJill Stephenson I feel the same exact way
0 likes@lenjaminbang hi there :) I never saw all these replies on my comment until now. I still haven't done anything, but I'm about to go to university so I may pursue some resources there. I'm not quite as bad as I was before, but it's still not good. Thank you for being so kind and checking in
1 like@jillyfish hi :) nice to hear that it's going at least a bit better, and university sounds exciting! Using their resources is a great idea! I wish you all the best :)
0 likesYou seem to be the only youtuber who records their audio separately, and I appreciate that.
3 likesI am depressed today. I remembered about this video. I watched it. I remembered I'm not alone.
0 likesThank you Dodie. I'm going to go to bed now and try again tomorrow. x
"nothing is easy" GOSH that's exactly how i feel when i'm depresssed it's so suffocating it's ROUGH but i'm glad i'm not alone and that other people also feel this way
9 likesDude, thanks for this! My therapist tells me not to fixate on my depression as well. I still need a lot of work but the medicine helps
1 likeThank you so much for making this! 🙏🏻
3436 likesReplies (13)
Janet Devlin Didn't think I would see you here.Hello :)
21 likesJanet Devlin hi, Janet!! 😮😊
2 likesJanet Devlin didn't think I'd see you here!
1 likeJanet Devlin hey Janet :) love ya and I needed this to
1 likeHey Janet, I loves you ❤
1 likeJanet Devlin i watch your audition whenever I'm anxious and need to calm down. Your voice is one of my favorites ever and I absolutely love you
2 likesI love this ❤️
1 likeI love your music!!
1 likeYOU WAS ON THE FOOKIN X FACTOR N THAT
0 likesJANET ILYSM
0 likesAahhh janettt
0 likesI absolutley love you. I listen to your music when i need to calm down. I remember you being so shy and unsure of yourself and then you gained all this confidence and became a star❤️❤️
1 likeJanet Devlin you're welcome
0 likesFor every friend I’ve reached out to, Ive described the heavy feeling I’ve had and nobody got it. And you described it exactly how I have. And now I know. Thank you.
0 likesI like watching these videos dodie makes on her anxiety and depression, helps me put things in perception and helps me think about what I’m going through when I need to.
0 likesThis is exactly how I feel on my down days. Thankfully not very often now but today is one. I'm sitting on the couch drinking tea. That's all I'll be doing today! Hopefully tomorrow will be back to normal!
1 likethank you for talking about your mental health stuff. i really needed a reminder today that i’m not alone in what i’m feeling. i know i’m depressed, i just never know how to describe how it feels. i feel like this will definitely help me communicate with my therapist. thank you again❤️
0 likesDesde que vi esse vídeo pela primeira vez sinto uma vontade absurda de legendar. Ele é necessário, sou apaixonada por ele.
0 likesHonestly this video helps me... it is what I feel sometimes and of course I don't want others to experience depression, but there is comfort in seeing I'm not alone. It was very kind of you to share ❤
0 likesA year ago when I saw this video ,I had depression but didn’t really understand it but now after watching this again i feel a sense of fulfillment since the way you described it made me recognize that that’s exactly what I’m feeling so thank you
0 likesi relate to this so much. i’ve never felt so understood.
3 likesGuys, if you think you have depression and you really don't fit into every single detail Dodie is describing, it's still possible you may have depression.
478 likesYou can have depression and get cheered up by things or not.
It just depends on you.
Everyone's different.
But before you come to conclusions, ask a therapist.
Replies (7)
This comment was needed
13 likesDefinitely. People can have less severe or more severe kind of depression than she's going through. All valid. It's hard defining depression other than feeling blue, or feeling like giving up. When watching her, I'm like good for you, you got up and got yourself a healthy snack. You're miles ahead of me and my progress.
9 likesNah y’all don’t have depression stop thinking it’s cool
5 likes@A3NA67 noice 🙌
1 likeThank you
0 likes@A3NA67 yea. If so many people would stop pretending, the depressed people would have more people to talk to. Someone happy to shine a light near them. At least that's how I feel about the whole situation.
0 likesI've been told by multiple counselors, multiple suicide hotline people and almost everyone that I talk to...
0 likesshit this brought me to tears. i’ve never heard someone so accurately explain what clinical depression feels like
2 likesThis feels like this is the best description of how I feel most of the days
3 likesI feel understood right now
Thanks :)
I love this and I have much love for you for verbalizing what seems to be such a difficult thing to do! Much appreciation to you love
0 likesi dont think i'd have the energy to make a video on a bad day like this....major props
1 likeI found this video oddly comforting. I’m having a really low day and my depression seems to have crept up on me again, and it’s nice to see a video of someone just accepting that they are depressed and that it’s okay. I felt when I was watching it that you were like a depressed friend and we could just be depressed together. There are an abundance of videos out there on how to help depression, but sometimes I feel the need to just sit in my depression for a bit in order to move on. This video was helpful for that.
0 likesI come back to this a lot. I find eating the beans does help a lil
8 likesi love this video so much.. it is so comforting to know im not the only one who feels this way lol im so glad i saved it to a playlist some years ago i was sad i couldnt find it
1 likewhat a great, great video!! just wow, this is extremely well done - i was able to really understand what you were talking about although i never suffered from depression etc. this was so good... :)
0 likes- i hated "choose happiness" when i was depressed because i was like THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO ME but now i realize that when you're not depressed this is actually a useful and valid saying!!!
234 likes- i reallllllly felt the waterslide thing - thats the worst though, when you're home alone in bed, at least there are no expectations of happiness but when you're out surrounded by people who find happiness in the surroundings it just makes you feel more out of place & broken than your normal depressed self feels
- i know that scared feeling that you'll never feel joy again & its so scary cause depression is so unpredictable
anyway, if going on medication is scaring you, (and you've tried everything else) i highly recommend it. they start you off on a low dose & if you're feeling okay they will increase it a bit. i went on zoloft (which is an SSRI) and it worked incredibly well for me!!! i'm not on it anymore & am no longer depressed!
i really really know how you're feeling, you're certainly not alone in these thoughts (which is something i wish i knew when i was going through this) and listen to your happy self & know that things will get better - life is a rollercoaster but when you're depressed the "downs" feel TOO DEEP thats why its SO important that you are ACTIVELY SEEKING help!!!
i don't know if you believe in God or not, but i do & i'm praying for you! <3
Replies (9)
<3!!!!
79 likesyessss I was just about to comment something extremely similar to this. bless you jesus freak! :D
4 likesSo in history we learn of the invisible hand
0 likesIt's basically where a higher power brings you down when you're high. And brings you up on your low
Invisible hand it is keeping you in balance ig. So like it'll bring you down when you get your hopes up. But it will lift you up when you have no hope left
But the thing about it is, when it drags you down, it eventually has to pick you back up
lea i went on zoloft (called sertraline usually in the UK) last year and it was the worst thing ive ever done. it DESTROYED my sleep (i literally slept about 1hr a night), i had horrific panic attacks (which werent a symptom of mine originally), i vomited, and i was unable to get out of bed for like 4 weeks.
3 likesmedications unfortunately arent a quick fix for most people...they can be horrofically damaging and actually make thing worse.
my friend recently got given sertraline and she was similar to me. she was really ill for about 6 weeks....then she took an overdose of the pills as she felt suicidal.
please please please be careful with ssris. for a hell of a lot of people they are a TERRIBLE idea. stay in close contact with any dr that prescribes you, notice any worsening of symptoms...they say it takes about a month to get used to a med but dont put up with feeling like death for too long. if youre getting severe side effects then it probably isnt doing you much good.
look into the link between the gut mkcrobiota and depression....its really interesting and has some promising finds. focussing on my diet and thinking about my gut composition has really helped my mood recently.
hanzib31 wow, to have such horrid side effects on sertraline might be the doctors fault for not Starting her off slow with small doses and slowly go up. thats what i did and all i had was a bit of headache for a week or two. its still a quite “soft“ medication, but you have to build it up
1 likeI agree so much with this, for those with depression you cannot simply choose to be happy and so it just makes you hate yourself more when people say that you're not trying to be positive
1 likeSolid Gold i took 20mg which is a normalish starting dose. within 30mins of taking it I was feeling off...within 2 hours i was vomiting....my friend was started on 100mg (WAY too high) and was a total mess from the beginning. so mamy drs dont know enough about these things..
0 likeswhen my friend took the overdose the hospital ended up writing a letter of complaint to the dr for giving her such a high dose.
patients themselves need to do more research before taking these things as drs sometimes mess up unfortunately.
i think i was just unlucky...
hanzib31 ive only ever taken sertraline so i dont know much about other antidepressants. seems like your body really didnt like the zoloft though. we all react differently to medication i guess!
0 likesSolid Gold nope sertraline was not my friend...fluoxetine did nothing for me either 😂 guess im just not a meds person ☺
0 likesi am depressed as well. i also suffer from ptsd ...i just want to thank you you are the reason i am seeing a therapist now .it was hard to accept that i had a problem i didnt think normal people needed someone to talk to so i held it all in and every once in a while i would have a bad "freak out" and lost alot of friends ...i just want you to know i love you so much for making these vids ! keep making them if you can! thank you dodie
0 likesi am crying now because i realize that i’m not alone in my head, thank you for sharing your experience, much love ❤️
0 likeswatched this multiple times now. everytime i feel depressed i watch this and i feel less lonely knowing i am not the only one feeling this way
1 likeevery time I have one of these days I watch this video and its more comforting than you'll ever know
13 likesThe thing that upsets me most about my depression/anxiety is the fact that I know that when I get better I'm going to have to fix the mess I made (friendships that are going to shit and me messing up two years of uni). Of course I want to get better but thinking about the mess I'm going to have to clean up makes me anxious af.
425 likesReplies (7)
leahkarlijn i feel the exact same, i'm losing one of my best friends and failed this school year and i know that these things won't go awaywhen i don't have depression and anxiety anymore and it scares me
6 likesyou put what i feel in to words so perfectly 👏🏻
1 likeleahkarlijn my depression took away a good portion of my childhood, and now being 15, and in high school, my anxiety and the aftermath (and on going) of my depression is fucking up this part of my life. It doesn't matter how optimistic I am, my mind is constantly at war with its self. I hope you are ok, you will be ok. Love from Australia.
1 likeExactly me right now (and me on and off for the past several years)
0 likesone of my firneds went through something similar...we haven't seen each other for ages but I dont think our friendship has gone to shit, because I understand it's super hard for her to keep in touch.Ill be here for her when she's ready. I expect theres people there for you too, please dont worry. your health comes before everything.
2 likessometimes i'm like that, I'm not depressed but I occasionally do feel bouts of depression. And then I just want to slip into that mental state forever because what's the point? If I try and stop it, I'll feel stress and sadness and anguish and irritation and guilt. Sometimes, it feels like I'd just rather feel nothing. I guess I haven't felt proper depression before.
0 likesleahkarlijn this is why I need to believe in a higher power. I don’t believe I can do a damn thing by myself. So I have to have faith that God is going to help me with these things and comfort me. It works for me. I don’t feel like I’m living this life by myself.
0 likesI relate to this on a spiritual level. I feel like Im always trying to recreate the past cause I was so happy then and I felt so excited about everything...
0 likesyou’re so funny ❤️and i can relate - sometimes the heaviness in my chest is too much
0 likesI have been in a really really depressed state for 2 weeks (which is not me usually) so thank you for releasing this. It brings comfort ❤️
0 likesthis video honestly helped me so much, theres just something so oddly therapeutic about someone describing exactly how you feel on the inside but at the same time knowing that if it will get better for them, it will get better for you. that's all.
0 likesEvery time I go back to being depressed, I always watch this video because it helps me feel like I have someone else who knows how I feel
225 likesReplies (1)
Claire Adams same
0 likesThis video really helped me understand my friend a lot more! Thank you so much for making this video!
0 likes"Today, i didnt have to check"
0 likesAnd
"Its very chemical. It feels very physical."
Spot fucking on.
i know this video isn't very positive. but everytime i feel lost i watch this, and somehow it's kind of calming me down, because dodie can just talk about it.
0 likesThanks for being so open, this actually kind of helped. I decided to try just opening up voice memos on my phone and pretending to have a conversation about why I'm feeling so down and I feel a bit better now. Anyone out there who doesn't have a friend to listen to them atm maybe try this. let me know how it goes, you'll be okay.
0 likesyou just put
397 likeseverything I've felt and everything that I'm feeling
Into words
Replies (1)
Especially when you said "like I can't open my eyes wide enough" I FEEL THAT EXACTLY WHEN IM GOING THROUGH DPDR! It's like you're blind, you've put it exactly how I've tried to express it before 💓
18 likesmy best friend recommended that i watch some of your videos on anxiety/depression after i had a panic attack in the bathroom at work the other day because i LITERALLY said the exact same thing you said at 2:25 to her and she told me i need to have empathy for myself so here i am crying at 12:30 am on a friday night and i’m just very thankful for this vulnerable video
0 likesYou explain and portray depression so well in this video that i keep coming back to it when ever I am depressed just to relate and be understood
0 likesI relate to this soooo much! Thanks for being so honest. I just started my own channel to talk about my own experience depression.
0 likesThis video was amazing, randomly popped up in my recommended and I just feel so bad for you, I don’t suffer from depression, well I hope I don’t but in some ways I felt and experienced what you said spiritually and I can only hope you get better and maintain for the rest of your life, may God bless you
0 likesI always thought I knew what depression was but...I realized that I have NO idea 😐
2750 likesReplies (19)
Laiah Clay well it's always good to educate yourself, there's nothing wrong with figuring out what exactly it is and recognizing it when it happens
272 likesIt's terrible, I'm at a really low point and I'm actually about to try to tell someone about it right after this. I have no idea how to explain it other then it's like I'm a piece in a board game and I'm being moved around and reacting to things but I'm not the player who's making the decisions and feeling the emotions.
146 likessame
2 likesthat's EXACTLY how i feel you put it into words so well. i've always described it as like im an npc in a video game with no control or feel of what im doing, im just doing what i was like. programmed to do
29 likesThanks for educating yourself, it's important to know what to do for others❤️
9 likesYeah, it’s really not fun :( but it’s good that you are educating yourself about it
2 likesThat's the thing, those who don't suffer from it simply can't understand what it feels like
4 likesLaiah Clay it’s when your body just doesn’t obey you, like you’re trapped and forced to be sad no matter how bad you want to be happy as you are chained down by chemicals. It’s so weird and crazy.
5 likesYou're so fucking lucky
8 likesImlaiah 7 it's different for everyone
1 likewhere you feel nothing in anything
0 likeslazy laiah also, Dodie has dpd (depersonalisation disorder or it’s at least something like that) which also means that it will amplify it for her and a lot of what she described was that
0 likesSame here, I know it now and it's difficult to figure out.
0 likesLucky you
0 likesYou're lucky...
0 likesyou're one lucky girl if you hadn't an idea what depression was. it sucks.
0 likesDon't feel bad for not knowing if you did. I used to think I knew what depression was until it hit me and I didn't even understand what was happening to me. I was an Ahole to several people I didn't realize were just crying for help. I thought they were just weird and being drama queens.. If I knew then what I know now.. It eats at me when i'm down too. People say to focus on the good but when you're at a low, it is almost impossible to do. All you think of are the bad things that have happened to you or that you've done. Because how can you possibly be worth anything. You're worthless and want to know someone cares, but you hide in your house and mask how you feel when your friends or family call or text because you don't want to scare them away or be a downer so often that they don't want to be around you anymore (which happens sometimes, at least in my experience.) Then before you know it, people stop calling and texting because you've been like this for years and they don't know why you aren't around anymore. Well that just makes those bad thoughts cement. It all must be true. Nobody cares about me right? I'll just continue to be alone. Sometimes you can feel like this for minutes, or sometimes days on end. I wouldn't wish the feeling on my worst enemy. In fact, my "best friend" supposedly struggled too and now I get to wonder if our friendship ended because they were actually a narcissistic snake like I want to think and like I called them, or if they were just in the same place I was and we tore eachother apart out of hurt. That's depression how i've come to know it, and that's the short version.
0 likesSometimes it feels terrible and you become afraid of yourself and your mind. Other days you can’t feel at all and beg yourself to feel something, even pain. Then there are days where you completely check out and can’t even come to conclusions, you just sit there staring at a wall not moving for an hour b/c you’re too gone or you don’t feel like your capable. The worse days too me are where you dissociate/depersonalize and can’t recognize yourself in the mirror. Those days I can’t even look at myself and I don’t feel present- it just feels like complete and utter nothingness. At that point there’s no good reason to live. Anyways have a nice day :)
0 likesYou can never fully understand until you feel it yourself
0 likesi used to watch this video so much to cope up with my depressive episodes & i haven't watched this in a while and now i'm bacc but things are surprisingly better than it was before
2 likesI'm so glad YouTube recommend this video to me because I feel exactly like you are describing here and your words kind of helped filling the void.
0 likesIs it odd that I watch this, and it’s slightly therapeutic?
0 likesLike I always find myself watching this when I’m not feeling my best, and having her talk about all this openly genuinely helps me.
It reminds me I’m not the only one feeling all these bad things, and that it will go by eventually and sometimes it’s okay for it to just be there.
Thank you for sharing this. It’s nice being able to relate.
0 likeskeep being amazing dodie
107 likesThis video is so great it’s just a calm relaxing video to watch. I love this.
0 likesI'm 5 months sober and 2 months clean from self-harm and I got tattoos recently to conceal them damn scars... Not symptom-free but still going with my therapy. Love you guys.
0 likesI have depression and this was really relatable. I have been having a depression episode off and on lately, right now included. I am a guy in my twenties btw, people tend to think it's just women or middle aged people. Nope. I feel so stupid all the time, sometimes there's even feelings of guilt. really it doesn't matter if they are justified, the feeling won't go away.
2 likesI come back to this video regularly because it helps me feel comforted, like a huge 😊💓
0 likesAlmost feels like listening to myself. Honestly didn't know these feelings were linked to depression for years :| Thanks for sharing.
0 likesi remembered vaguely seeing this a bit ago but i didn’t watch it, however now that im really feeling the affects of this particular depressive episode i decided id give it a watch and ive never felt so understood. thank you for making this
0 likesThis is how I feel daily. For the past almost 10 years I’ve felt more this way than not. It’s a miserable feeling for me.
1 likeI always come back to this video when I'm feeling depressed because it feels so good do have someone to relate to.
0 likesok can someone tell me if there's a reason for how i feel? a name or something? idk if it's "depression" bc i don't even feel that bad or that deep sadness associated with depression.
424 likesbut oftentimes i kind of feel like i have to make an effort to interact - like i'll be in a conversation and i hear the words but i have to make myself laugh. i go on the internet when i'm bored and read stupid buzzfeed articles and watch youtube and netflix but i still just feel this weird... boredom?? sort of blank and unfulfilled.
idk it's not bad. it's kind of like what dodie was describing in the middle of the video but i'm not thatttt affected by it?
maybe i'm just tired. i don't know
Replies (37)
ukelella The first thing I noticed, a little while before I entered my full-on breakdown was that I was forcing myself to laugh in places where it used to be natural. Like it was a weird reflex even though I didn't actually feel happy like I used to. But I didn't think I counted as depressed because I just felt numb and exhausted all the time. Not sad, really, because I wasn't feeling much of anything. Eventually the anxiety caught up with me and filled the void in my chest, but it was always thoughts like "wouldn't it be nice if I just: [examples include everything from "passed out" to "got shot"] so that I could just... stop. Everything.". Because I just felt too tired for anything to be worth the effort it took. I want to tell you that it counts. Depression comes in a lot of different forms, and if it gets to the point where you can't feel happy anymore, then you deserve help.
66 likesthank you so much for this i am relating so much !! are you doing better bc this has been happening to me for a long time and i don't really know what to do at this point. it wrecks social situations for me and my anxiety is yikes
25 likesbut it's not really all-encompassing. it comes and goes in phases
ukelella The coming and going is honestly the worst thing for getting help! After the worst of it (when I had transferred back to a college near home -- yup, I ran away from all my new friends... oops) I had been feeling like crap for awhile and finally asked my mom to schedule a doctor's appointment. Then I felt fine for a little bit a couple weeks later and canceled it... and that happened a couple times. I only ended up actually going to see someone when the anxiety was consistently keeping me from falling asleep. I love sleep, so I had no patience for that! :P. With all that, actually getting to a doctor took a couple years after my original breakdown. WAY too long, but what's done is done.
19 likesI AM doing a bit better, though. I ended up going on Wellbutrin (since a few people in my family were on it and liked it), and since it kicked in, the anxiety hasn't gotten so bad... Honestly, before my anxiety even started affecting my sleep, the littlest things would make me scream inside. And that was BEFORE winter! My mood always tanks when it gets cold. But, lucky for me, Wellbutrin is also shown to help with Seasonal Depression, and honestly, this winter has been really good, relatively speaking. I'm still mostly functional and I wake up a lot more awake with a couple hours less sleep than I usually need in the cold months. And I can handle little things just fine most of the time, even if big things still get to me. I still need to go see a therapist one of these days... I keep putting it off... But I've never been back to the low that I hit then, and that's really nice! :)
SAME i always feel most anxious and just not good at night and in the winter. glad you're feeling better doe
12 likesukelella Thanks!! :) Good luck!!!
8 likesukelella i'm not exactly trained to diagnose you, but it could be a bit of depersonalisation. either that or straight up depression and anxiety
11 likesi mean i already have anxiety. depression runs in my family so i guess it might make sense. i've never really looked into what depersonalization is, but it might make sense in my case idk. my problem is that i only feel this way sometimes. i'm anxious a lot, but i only get in these moods usually at night or once in a while. it's never been like weeks of feeling gross ya kno
13 likesthat's how I've been feeling lately. all I want to do is stay in my room all day and I'm always hopping from youtube to Netflix...like I'm trying to fill a void or something but it's not bad. it just feels empty.
26 likesSAME
3 likesEniola Folarin you legit just described me
8 likesukelella literally my life although I think it's because... this is gonna get deep but I'll try make it short
4 likesMy mom doesn't live with me also my nan makes fun of her IN FRONT OF ME oh yeah much more
My grandad almost kidnapped me
I live with my step mom little sister and big brother but not with my little brother
My friend is a drama queen I hit her with a disc on accident and she tells her mom I'm a bitch
I think my boyfriend is gay
Nobody gets me
Yep I feel you. I feel too sad to do anything productive but then I wonder if I should try harder to do it because I'm so bored by everything else I do to try to fill my time. My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and we still love each other. But my drinking caused too many problems. It made me do and say things I can't relate to when I'm sober. I miss him so much and I haven't told anyone so I'm telling YouTube
4 likesNot everything has to have a name or diagnosis, it's just your personality, I'm the sAme, I don't really like interacting unless I'm in the mood etc.
2 likesHello, this is my last term in college and I'm gonna explain the situation cause I don't know whether it's normal or not. I am literally an anti-social person with anxiety, I can't talk to people easily and I have nearly no friends at school, and I somehow managed to survive like this for about 4 years. But this term, as you said, I am feeling numb and exhausted all the time, like I have a big stone in my head. And I feel like I have no energy to go out or even do something. I can't concentrate on any of my responsibilities. This is the worst cause I have a lot of work needs to be done to graduate. Also I am getting angry very easily, feeling down and giving up easily. Most of the time I'm angry to myself for being a person like this, and I take my anger out on people around me, this ruins my relationships with everyone. I am sick of being alone and I really want to gradute! What should I do? Can anyone help me please :'(
3 likestrust me it's not my personality. i'm a very social person and an extrovert. just lately i haven't been able to get myself into any interactions or feel involved
1 likei'm in a similar ish situation. or mainly just feeling a similar way.
0 likesukelella has anything in your social life changed? I was an extrovert in secondary school but left and just quietness down a lot x
0 likesukelella quietened*
0 likesa little bit, but i think thats more of a result of the mindset i'm in rn. maybe what i'm feeling is anxiety idk
1 likeukelella I feel the same but I go on as usual and everything but, almost nothing intrigues me, art used to be my escape but it's starting to become a pressure since I want to maybe pursue it as a career and I need to improve, it just took the fun out and now everything is blank, blank faces blank papers, blank screens, I don't think I could be seriously diagnosed with anything it's just a constant state of boredom and numbness, I'm always longing for a person to come with interesting views or a striking personality to brighten up my life a bit but then I get mad at myself because I'm taking the friends I do have for granted idk I kinda just wanted to rant a bit maybe it's just my personality
4 likesA bit late, but you could very well be experiencing a mild depression. It can be very hard to realize that you're dealing with depression in the very early stages because it's so subtle.
6 likesFor example, I was first diagnosed with depression when I was eleven. It came on suddenly and it came on strong. It was painful and all-consuming, but with proper treatment it went away after two years.
So from that point, from ages 13-15 I was fine and extremely healthy and happy. When I turned sixteen, the depression slowly started coming back, but I didn't realize it at the time because it started off so mild. I could go to school, I could take care of myself (study, do my homework, fix food for myself, and exercise), and I still enjoyed hanging out with friends and watching television, etc. But something just felt, "off." I felt bored, exhausted, and nothing was as exciting anymore. I thought I was just burned out from school, y'know?
I had this impression that depression was supposed to be horribly noticeable, because that was my very first experience with it. So when it came on so subtlety I didn't even realize that it was, in fact, depression.
Fast forward to when I was 17-18, and I realized that I was in fact depressed and that it was getting worse - *way worse. * I dropped out of traditional schooling and decided to homeschool for my senior year (because my anxiety couldn't cope otherwise). By the end of my senior year, I "flunked out" on homeschooling. I made perfect grades - all A's - but I didn't finish all of the coursework on time so I didn't graduate.
I couldn't get out of bed for weeks at a time, I couldn't bring myself to shower or brush my teeth (even if I wanted to), and I couldnt feed myself. I'd starve for a week at a time because I had no energy to make food for myself. Any time I would attempt to get out of bed, my body felt like a 100lb dead weight and it felt like I was moving in slow motion. I felt like I never slept even though I slept constantly.
The depression caused me to always be sick with a lowly cold or flu for most of each year. I'm twenty now and I'm still very sick, and I've left my house less than ten times in four years. I'm completely disabled and unable to work due to my depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder. But I'm still trying to take care of myself and get my GED in the meantime. It's a real fight.
But the point of my story is that, if there's a chance that you feel that you have depression (even if it's just mild), you should really get checked out by a doctor. Because depression almost always worsens over time and it can get to the point to where it ruins your entire life. You have a much better chance at recovering very fast (with proper treatment) if you manage to catch it early and stop it in it's tracks.
Does all of this make sense? I know my comment is a mile long but I felt it was really important for you to understand this. This is what I wish I'd known years ago, but maybe my experience could help someone else and save them from the same grief that I went through. 💖💖
Shalee Michelle
2 likesI hope things get better for you soon, sweetheart. I know it's so unbelievably tough, but please keep going. Be kind to yourself.
I understand. I think its anxiety, i have horrible anxiety and its thousand times worse than yours.
0 likesthank you so much. Since I posted this comment, things haven't improved much. I think I need to tell someone.
6 likesok this is the most relatable thing i've ever read, because i'm obviously not depressed but i get in a mood, just like what you described
1 likethis is kind of how i felt in the beginning of this year and the past year or so. The only thing I can tell you is that I know it feels permanent and that you may never feel real joy again, but I promise that you will. Everything may seem fake and plastic in a way, but one day the veil will open and your eyes will widen once more, and you will be genuinely happy. I can't say I'm perfect right now, but I am working on it. I hope you feel better xx
1 likethank you so much. that means a lot
1 likeukelella I feel the same
0 likesthis is how I feel
1 likeI feel like this a lot too? Maybe a lot of people can relate to this type of thing? But, idk, I just feel sort of numb, even when doing things that I usually enjoy and it's worrying me. I don't know what's wrong...
1 likeThis is exactly how I feel. Sometimes I feel like my life's a bore,and that I have to go out. I get sad when that happens But other times I don't mind being by myself.
1 likesame omg
0 likesukelella i experienced this a lot last summer. i really think for me it was caused by loneliness and the fact that my "friends" didn't bring me as much happiness and joy as they used to ... i felt really lonely and that nothing was as much fun as it used to be and I didn't know if i would ever find people that I genuinely liked to be around. I still feel it quite a lot but realizing that that was it helped me a bit
2 likesi feel the same way and it's so nice to see that i'm not the only one feeling this way. i feel numb and my chest feels heavy. i don't make effort to smile nor talk. i just go on the internet or sleep when i'm like this. it's awful when i go to school, because there's so much thing that i have to force myself to do. smile, listen, talk, laugh. but i don't bother nowadays.
0 likesi feel like i'm going to end up in the same situation as you. any tips to avoid?
1 likeis it depression though? i really dont want to think that having this feeling; the numbess and emptiness is bc of it. because there's so many things to be grateful in my life that i feel i shouldn't behave in this way. i have my parents, i'm not poor, i have a small group of friends who care in a way, i'm healthy. my point is that there are things that i'm grateful for, but why am i feeling this way?
2 likesElaina Kleven depression is not a feeling?
0 likesWhenever I feel really bad I watch this video because it makes me feel less alone thank you for that.
0 likesI revisit this video a lot when I’m down and it helps me rationalise each time
0 likesThis actually said all the things i feel, thank you
0 likesSometimes, I have this feeling for short amounts of times. When I was small, it happened a lot. But lately it’s been happening more. Most of the time it only lasts for a few minutes. She perfectly described how it felt. I hope this doesn’t turn into a thing that lasts longer than a few seconds. If anyone has an explanation, please tell me! 😓😓
1 likeI'm not someone that deals with Major Depressive Disorder, y'know the typical and common depression that I know a lot of people deal with. I have dysthymia which is persistent depressive disorder, in other words high functioning depression. I've finally figured out a way to describe it:
42 likesThink of walking with shackles that have those balls that are attached to them. Now imagine everytime you ignore your problems, or unhealthy cope, or you're not feeling productive or worthy or in the moment that those little weighted balls get bigger and yet you're still walking upright. Think of all the times you supress yourself, or feel down, or make a mistake and hate yourself for it that those weights continue to grow in size until you are met with a mountain as big as them. Try climbing up that mountain. Imagine getting halfway up, only for your shackles to bring you back down to the bottom again. Imagine trying to jump over a hole in the middle of your path. You can't walk around it, so you have to jump. You make a headstart but are hit with the fact you have a lot of unfinished business to deal with but have had no motivation to. You jump and yet you never make it over until you learn to take the shackles off, only to repeat the process. Dysthymia is like a bug. That bug is a problem. You ignore it, and more come until you are basically inhaling them. You find the solution and then have another bug. You carry your baggage like there's nothing wrong. No one realizes that your stuck in your thoughts or that your empty because you can function. It's persistent depressive episode and an almost euthymic or apathetic state. You're numb. You're fatigued. You're depressed and no matter how many times you try to tell people, they'll tell you you're faking it.
Hello. It's new year's and I've relapsed so I come here so I won't feel so alone. Im sorry that this depression thing exists, but im grateful that there are people like Dodie and her lovely community who give comfort in shared suffering. So here's to a better 2019. Cheers, mate 💜
0 likesthis is amazing you put all the things I couldn't make out to say into words
1 likeThanks a lot. Sometimes I feel sad, anguished, lonely and unloved, but I know I'll wake up better because this is not my normal state. Overthinking from anxiety is more like my normal state. I'm scared of being depressed and this showed me the difference between an actual problem and some dark cloud moments everyone is allowed to have, especially during quarantine. Also, it's amazing how her voice is tired and she's not okay, but still she talks in her charismatic way. I admire her.
0 likesI saw a really brilliant way of defining depression on reddit today while I was just looking for something to pick me up.
364 likes"If someone kills your puppy, you feel shit, that's sadness.
If someone gives you a puppy, you feel shit, that's depression."
Replies (2)
StephThePenguin Unless you're allergic to dogs, or you dislike puppies, or you're indifferent to them, or you don't feel as if you can look after it, etc.
12 likesThat's the problem with humans. Too many variables. I think the problem with depression is the belief things can be objectively bad, or just beliefs in general. Depersonalisation is fine, a 'person' is just a mechanism for the rest of the organism to survive, like the heart or lungs. People probably aren't what they think they are, haha. Feeling like things aren't real is alright, you can't actually prove that this universe is real/the base reality anyway. Being real doesn't give it anything extra. Human life is play pretend, but that's fine. I guess I'm a bit nihilistic, but I just find it funny. Maybe happiness is overrated. Sorry, long response. Also a late response, you probably won't see this, lol. :)
This is correct omg. Is it weird that I have been feeling depressed for the past two years and now I'm getting another dog but I'm not that excited even tho it's so cute? Relatable? Help?
0 likesThank you for being so open about this. It's more helpful than you know.
6 likesReally hope you found a way to cope with this. I hope you're ok, and i'm sorry that you felt that way. If I knew you, I would tell you that I wanted nothing more than to talk to you every day, because it would make me feel better just knowing you were there and ok. I've gotten to know it too well too. If anyone is reading this, I just want you to know that you may not feel important to anyone but you're at a minimum important to me, a random stranger. You are loved. Thank you for this video if you see this. It helped me tonight.
1 likeThis spoke to exactly how I feel, thank you
0 likesI have at least watched this 50 times while I'm sad
6 likesYou describe my symptoms and feelings perfectly. Maybe I was always depressed and the dp/dr came from it but now it very much seems that dp/dr causes a lot of my sadness and anxiety now. I’m better than I was a few months ago but damn it still can really get to me sometimes. It’s fucking nonsense and the only thing that helps is getting to vent about it from time to time and just put it into words like you do here. This video rules.
0 likesDodie you have helped me so much just being yourself and not being scared to do so! I love you!
0 likesplease dodie never put that video in private. i love it so much, it helped me a lot somehow. I actually watch it everytime I am feeling really bad and it helps me a lot . Thank you for making this video ilysm & please never delete it
1 likeThis is how I've been feeling during this quarantine :(
8 likesI'm depressed today too. I've been depressed every day for almost a year now and... yeah, this. Not the depersonalisation stuff (I don't think?) but everything else... yeah. Exactly, you manage to say exactly what I'm feeling (as always). I spend all my free time endlessly scrolling through tumblr and just trying to make the hours disappear because I don't have the energy (emotional OR physical) to actually do anything.
59 likesIf anyone's reading this I will say that pills are good. I was on them for a while and they did help me a lot (then I came off them and WELP). After all, depression is chemical imbalances in your brain, so chemical assistance to put it right does make a difference.
Replies (4)
Maggie Standage-Bowles I can't trust pills, I'm scared they'll make everything worse :(
2 likesThat's a common way to feel, but pills are really nothing to be afraid of. What they're doing is artificially giving you the things that your brain is failing to produce naturally, they don't (as fearmongers like to say) actually change anything about you or the way you are. If you were diabetic you would take insulin because you need it to function properly, right? It's the same with serotonin and depression; it can't really make everything worse because that's not how they work and without them you might be continuing to go without the things you sorely need.
3 likes(Just anecdotally, I took pills for maybe two years. No they didn't fix everything but they were a supplement to the therapy and the CBT and all the other stuff designed to fix you. The time that everything DID get worse? When I stopped taking them too soon. That was the thing that fucked me up.)
I promise that that's unlikely! they've helped my mental health symptoms so much, I'm a much better person now that I take mine.
1 likeWell, they don't usually make things worse. (in fact, they can't unless you are allergic to them.. otherwise I'm pretty sure they just don't do anything.)
1 likedepression for me has been so bad that i have a hard time concentrating. i used to think i was just born with bad memory or something but over the years as my depression gets worse and worse , so does my memory. i can hardly remember anything. when the last time i saw a certain person was. if i locked my car. if i fed my cat. if i took my medication. depression is so awful . i think one major thing i hate most about depression is the fact that no matter what you do the sadness just doesn’t leave. it still stays and you just feel like a zombie. all numb and emotionless. i’ve become a bitter person over the years because of my depression . and it makes my heart hurt knowing that i hurt people and that i’m mean to them sometimes. and when they say “you’re mean” i just say “you don’t understand what i’m going thru” i feel like no one does. i never mean to hurt anyone, i just have a wall built up so high and i get so defensive about anything. i miss the old me and i’d do anything to get her back. she was so happy and full of life. never knew growing up and adulting would be such a sad time of my life
7 likesI love these videos because none ever wants to talk to me about how I feel and listening to someone who feels the same as me so it makes me happy
0 likesI watched this a few times when it was first uploaded, and I thought I got it - I have depression, I related to what you say about your brain feeling so heavy - but then when I was doing my gcses one evening i just felt so so insanely hopeless, and I lay on my bed with my feet dangling out the window and feeling the cold air and I Got it. That bit where dodie says “it’s so so bad” and kind of falls back a bit. I had never fully connected with that feeling until then. And it is, so, so bad - so horrifically hopeless and painful and heavy. I’ve now done my gcses, my a levels, am on a gap year now and will be going to university in September. I’m still depressed, I still have anxiety, I still need to go back to therapy, but right now I’m in New Zealand, travelling alone. My fifteen year old self, sat on that bed feeling so utterly alone and helpless, she did well and she wouldn’t believe that I’d survive the week, let alone four years - four years with some happiness too. And now I’m out as gay to my parents and brother and I’m on prozac, and it’s not perfect but it’s better.
3 likesTry to talk to someone, it’s a cliche because it’s true: it can get better
this is the video i watch whenever I'm depressed so i can remember I'm not alone thank you for making this
0 likesI hope you feel better soon dodie, you have the support of thousands . we love you xx
17 likesOmg this video helped me a lot with my mental health when I was 15 and I’m so glad it’s back
2 likesYou literally just described how I feel almost every night when I try to go to sleep.
1 likeSometimes I come back and listen to this when I’m sad so I don’t feel alone
0 likesThis is the most relatable video i've seen in the past months..
99 likesDamn, this made me cry I never knew I could relate to this
28 likesI didn't know how much I wanted this feeling to be put into words but it did and I needed it and it feels like its just right
0 likesThat’s what I feel. Depression meds, too scared since the last time I tried to commit suicide. Psychiatric dog, so much waiting and training and preparing that I’m trying to do. God I feel you Dodie, I feel you so hard.
0 likesas shitty as it is to feel this way and to watch someone else go through this,
0 likesit’s so helpful to know that other people feel this way, too.
The worst days are when you're emotionally depressed and chemically depressed. Like when your brain is messed up, and you have a lot on your plate, so you just hate everything, and you're unsatisfied by everything, and you just want to die. 😐 Thanks life.
713 likesReplies (2)
Rad Ravenclaw I hate that
1 likeThe chemical depression always outweighs the emotional depression for me... and I hate it... I wish I could just feel emotion like normal people and not have the evil parasite in the background.
9 likesTo everyone here who are battling depression i send you all love and light.
4 likesthis made me feel less alone in my misery... thank you for that!
4 likesNo one feels pain the same as someone else does, but I always come back to this video when I feel low and alone with my thoughts because you kinda just put it all into words. I can empathize with what you're saying and it makes me feel less alone. Everyone has different experiences and feelings but it's nice to find a community where mental illness is talked about realistically and not romanticised. I've loved Dodie for so many years now, she's really quite lovely. I hope anyone watching this knows that things do get better despite how clique it sounds, and that they also find comfort in community. ❤
0 likesYouTube recommended this to me like... 2 years later. Right at the end of a huge depressive episode after talking about my worst episode to a room full of mental specialists. Thought I was ready to talk about it, clearly wasn't the case and I spent about 5 weeks stuck in this exact headspace. It felt like treading through heavy waters.
0 likesIt's been two years since I've had such a low episode for such a long time (although not as low as I had gotten back then) and it is so difficult to see the light at the end when everyday feels exactly the same. I'm out of that period again, and I'm on antidepressants that are actually helping me this time.
I know that these episodes are normal though, I just hate how long they can be from time to time.
Anyone else tired of hearing "it's just hormones"? You know it's not, and you know if it were hormones you wouldn't be like this.
690 likesReplies (23)
Kit Kat13 preach! I hate being told that
13 likesKit Kat13 fucking yes. My "hormones" have been bugging me since I was like 7.(technically still hormones but referring to how a parent means((usually meaning puberty) I'm 19 now. pretty sure it's not hormones. I feel like depression evolves with age as well from what I've noticed.
18 likesKit Kat13 I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 6. "Hormones"
6 likesKit Kat13 me sameee
2 likesfinally. someone said it.
3 likesDo you all even know what hormones are? Biology 101
26 likesDepression is caused by hormones
But hormones aren't only the things that make you horny or emotional as a teenager
Hormones control many things, even your metabolism, your feelings, your growth... etc
Depression has to do a hell of a lot with a disbalance of hormones
Does that make it less important or awful to experience? NO
It's a serious illness, it's important to seek help, and it's important to be emphatic about it
I gave you the biology 101 point of view, just to correct you in all kindness. I can't know how you all feel, everyone is different, everyone experiences things in many ways, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you get better, even if it's just a bit each day. I love you. You all matter and I believe in you <3
it is literally hormones. Depression is an unbalance of chemicals in your brain.
29 likesyes I'm sure they know depression is hormones but i think they're referring to puberty hormones which parents or adults are always saying is the case of our "bad mood"..... hormones more like HORRORmones
22 likesKit Kat13
2 likesYou kinda know when it's hormones because hormones are different to depressioness (that's not a word but idgaf)
Kit Kat13 it's all anyone tells me
1 likeyes omg it's so annoying
0 likesBut they are hormones! If you stop believing that depression is caused by enzymes released by our body, then you have no right to acknowledge it as a disease!
3 likesrashi mohan i musnt of worded it right, i think we all mean that it's when people say "ur just on your period you'll get over it"
4 likesI hate being told "you are doing it for attention" or "everyone thinks they're depressed"
9 likesyes.
0 likesMy hormones just consist of anger..thats it.
0 likesPreach
0 likespreach, sick of everyone thinking that I just want to skip school and class because everyone has bad days but for its pretty much everyday and hormones just don't make you feel that kind of way someone finally said it ! Kit Kat13 preach btw love your profile picture
1 likeOmg yesssss my CAMHS cousllor is like it’s low mood due to your hormones 🙄
0 likesSame x
0 likesYes. I still haven't told my mum how I feel so she just tells me it's PMS. And yes it get worse during that time but that isn't why i'm feeling like that
0 likesoml yes. My mum tells me that when im having an anxiety attack and i want to tell her that it's not. just hormones.
1 likebut i love my mum too...
Yes, I can relate. I hate how everyone keeps saying that to me. If it was truly hormones, then I wouldn't attempted ending my own life.
0 likesThis is the most relatable video i've ever seen. Thank you.
5 likesi watch this video everytime im depressed and it makes me feel like im not alone
0 likesThis just popped up in my recommended and I’m glad.
0 likesIf you ever read this comment I want you to know that your video made me feel less alone about my feelings. Thank you
Yes! Yes! Yes! I've never called myself depressed (because any amount of emotion I used to think was weak) but this explains me. I just wake up and I'm not there. It's just blank and it doesn't feel temporary it feels forever.
0 likesDodie as someone who also suffers from depression thank you for speaking up. The way you describe it is so perfect I am hoping more people are starting to understand the seriousness of depression and what it is like to have so I have huge respect for you for that. I refused medication for a long time and only saw myself getting worse, but have now been prescribed Sertraline and after about a month most of the side effects went. Their is no shame in medication, talk to your GP they're there to make you feel better after all.
30 likesSome people think depression is just being sad. It’s kinda funny cuz you just feel empty. Great video by the way. Very relatable.
2 likesthis is an amazing video to send to a loved one who doesn’t understand what’s going on with you
0 likesI watch this video when I’m depressed and want company. I feel like we’re spending time together, eating edamame beans and talking about our feelings.
0 likesThanks for making me feel a bit more sane 🤧❤️
1 likeevery time i feel heavy, i return to this video. thank you so so much, dodes. ily lots.
689 likesReplies (2)
Lauren Jewel same here :)
0 likessame
0 likesI need youtubers like you because otherwise i feel crazy about my depression. Thank you ❤
0 likesI've got Borderline Personality Disorder, and you just described exactly how I feel
0 likesSeeing Dodie watching Rick and Morty caused me to now have a crush on her not because of the show its because it was so random. Sending Hugs.
1 likeI remember feeling something like this in high school. I was a teaching assistant and I remember looking at the rest of the students (from the corner of the room at my desk) and thinking that they looked so strange and fake, like they were robots. It would mainly happen when I was off the anxiety medication I was taking at the time, I would just see people from a very zoomed out perspective I guess? Like I was someone from another planet or something. It hasn't happened rarely now! Hopefully you can train your brain over time to get rid of these symptoms.
0 likesYou've literally just described my exact state of mind I've been experiencing for the last 4 or 5 days. I woke up one day and I was just down. I don't know why. I could not tell you what triggered it. But I feel like I'm under water, and everything is dark, and nothing makes me feel anything - other than the anxiety, which is constant and won't leave me alone. It's more than just a "blah" feeling; it's like I'm empty and heavy at the same time. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to talk. I just want to sleep and pretend nothing exists.
75 likesReplies (2)
Courtney Cloud "Empty and heavy." I knowwwwww
0 likeschanel&tae yup
0 likesHonestly, one of the realest video’s on YouTube! Thanks for making it... 🙏🏼
0 likesi come back to this video every day my depression has taken over me, to know i am not alone and that it’s ok to have an off day
0 likesWhen I’m depressed I always watch this video ALWAYS. It reminds me that it will pass.
0 likesI actually love this. Don’t be sorry, you should make more videos like this. We can relate and want to know you better
0 likesDamn... That sounds awful! Personally I've never really understood depression, because I've always been a happy dude! Very rarely have days where I feel completely off! That's obviously a good thing! I could never imagine what it'd feel like, feeling like shit from the moment you wake up... Even on a day like today, I'm super ill struggling to sleep right now, but still happy! After watching your several videos on this sort of stuff, it has really opened my eyes to it! It sounds like a terrible thing to go through... And I just hope you can come out the better end of this and have those feelings you once had, and be able to enjoy life at every passing moment! <3
126 likesReplies (10)
Ah but you are so kind and empathetic <3 you inspire me!
55 likesdoddlevloggle Awww that's too kind Dodie! <3 See people like you don't deserve to feel down at all, as you are just a sweetheart! Hope all gets better for you, and have an amazing tour dude! Wish I could be there and meet you but oh well! Maybe next time! :D
9 likesReece Maskrey Me too! ive never been depressed and my body can function on 5 hours of sleep ans still be awake by the end of the day with NO CAFEENE! just cause im happy :)
1 likeI'm so jealous dude!!! I have no idea what it's like to have a healthy brain.
5 likesyeah i feel like that all the time.
1 likeReece Maskrey that's awesome! I hope that you stay happy and healthy your whole
2 likesIife😊
To all the folk that have said they feel the same as me, awesome! :D Keep being positive and I'm happy you're all well! To the folk that said they don't understand how I feel, I'm sorry to hear that, and I hope things become clear for you in the future and you find a solution to what's going on! :)
2 likesReece Maskrey I like your mind set. Because you don't have something it's much better to empathise, rather then separate yourself, ignore it or choose not to believe it. So props to you. This is how we should see each other's problems 😄
3 likesEsmerelda Gonzales Exactly pal, every little helps! If I could say something that gives people that uplifting feeling and helps them out then so be it. I don't know the extent of how they feel but I'd like to help as much as possible! :)
0 likesReece Maskrey You're lucky, the one good thing from my depression is that I know what other people are going through and I can help them more.
0 likesWhen i got my diagnosis my sister told me that i was in the presence of a dementor at all times(i'm a potterhead). It helped a LOT
0 likesman im upset this video is unlisted. i used to come back to it all the time, and here i am again.
22 likesI love this, relate to this, and appreciate the real ness 👌🏻
0 likesher voice is so soothing it makes me want to watch this forever
0 likesHow're you able to be depressed and still film your video's, express your sense of humor, and edit your videos, all the while getting your point across? Depression robs of my creativity and motivation leaving me with an empty feeling and at a complete loss for words.
318 likesReplies (5)
Samuel Mott depression makes me feel the same. But sometimes I get angry because of my illness and start writing, somehow that helps me. Maybe making videos it's her escape
30 likesSilentype Student Producer you know depression, it comes and goes... at the end i guess you learn to live with it and what to do to take care of yourself.
8 likesSilentype Student Producer you just learn to accept it and hide it, im depressed and is diagnosed with severe depression but I still go to school normally.
6 likesLiterally I don't even get out of bed, I don't talk, I don't move, there is no life
12 likesyeah muscles like typing is so hard when your depressed and moving OM
2 likesI love that you have a sense of humor about yourself. That helps, thank you.
0 likeseverything she’s saying is a 100% accurate .
2 likesThere is hell in hello
12 likesThere is an end in friend
There is a lie in believe
There is over in lover
But...
There is a GOOD in GOODBYE
“Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.” It is exactly that. This is insanely relatable. I needed this today.
0 likes"No ones natural state should be this bad."
363 likesWell yikes, that is pretty much my natural state. I can relate to this video on a spiritual level but it's all the time. It's not a bad day every once and a while. It's all the time.
Replies (4)
Same
0 likesfas513 First step, look out for therapy. If you already did, look out for people on the internet or irl (would be better) so you can share your feelings asap. No matter how much u hate people or whatever, try your best to text them once a day or if you have a good day, go outside together. It will be okay.
6 likesThis will not cure your problems but it will help a lot if continued regularly.
Me too..
0 likesSame af..
0 likesThis video came out 2 years ago but still hope you feeling better dodie!
0 likeswhat really hit home for me was when she said 'oh its so bad. I'm so bad.' Depression makes you devalue your self worth and when thing are better you need to acknowledge that you are worth it. To anyone reading this know that once you get through this, and you will get through this, it will be less bad and you will realize that you're not so bad. Yes it sucks now, but it will pass, and when it does you will be so glad it did.
1 likeI can't believe that you found the words to describe the state, I struggle so much each time I try and can't always find the right words, but this is very cool to hear since it makes me feel a bit comprehended whenever I'm in those funks as well. Hope you're better now 3 years later c:>
0 likesI really felt this. I've only started to go to a therapist recently but I completely agree with how you're feeling. Just nothing is worth doing and you just feel like a heavy blob of bleh. I know this video was made 3 years ago as of writing this, but it just feels so true...
0 likesHey to all those depressed teen / kid I want to tell u that it’s gonna be ok and go to therapy it’s really help and even if your feeling lost and sad just know that it will be over soon and remember your beautiful and strong and talented an of someone said your not so he doesn’t know what he’s talking about 😌and take care of yourself
13 likesReplies (1)
This made me cry! I really needed to hear this today <3
0 likesThis is exactly how I feel almost every day and I have a history of self-harm but I don't have depression because I've never been tested
0 likesHalfway through the vid I just bursted into tears because I knew exactly what she was explaining felt like
0 likesI'd just like to say that i admire how strong you are for even putting this video together on an off day like that. When i get to that point, i don't have the strength to do anything even if i think it would help me. I don't know how you felt or how you summoned up the energy and courage to put this video together for your viewers but thank you so much for sharing this and helping others to know that they're not alone. You are more than amazing and you definitely saved at least one person. So thank you again
0 likesI keep coming back to this video because I relate so much. Never heard someone explain it like this before.
0 likesThe waiting thing is very relatable. I've been waiting 6 months for NHS counselling now. They literally gave me the suicide prevention helpline and were like "hang in there for a bit longer. It'll be around 6 weeks" 6 months later and many phone calls asking if they're forgotten me and I'm still waiting. ☹️
0 likesI really like this video. I'm so sorry you have to feel this way, but by making this you made people like me feel not so alone on our off days.
0 likesLiterally exactly how it feels to be depressed
2 likesI relate to her so much she is literally explaining my life
119 likesi felt and understood everything you said in that video and cannot thank you enough for making it
0 likesYou spoke my mind today. Almost literally. I’ve been taking an snri for serveral years; works generally well except for off days like today. How are you now? I know this is an old post so I hope are better.
1 likeReplies (1)
I believe she's been in a pretty alright place recently and she seems to be pretty good.
1 likei’m sorry but i need that “WAY-OOO” at 3:52 as my new text notification
850 likesReplies (10)
Ikr
6 likesI know how!
30 likesTurn this video into an MP3 file and then crop it to only play the WAY-OOO, then upload it onto a ringtone app : )
I AM GOING TO DO THIS!!!
3 likesI may or may not have faffed around in Logic for 10 minutes for exactly that haha I know it's many months ago, but happy to share the audio if you reply ;)
3 likesAlong The Lanes could u share it with me please?
0 likes@Along The Lanes me please :)
0 likes@Along The Lanes hey can you share the audio to me too please?
0 likesAlong The Lanes hey could you please share the audio with me too :)
0 likes@Along The Lanes heyy I would love to have ist too!!
0 likesAlong The Lanes ooh, share please!
0 likesEvery word you said I have thought of and said, I deal with derealization depersonalization daily and depression and anxiety oh god thankyou for making me feel not alone. I literally said everything you had said in this and felt everything ughhht thankyou
0 likesThis felt more of a Mukbang video than of a depression video.
2 likesThis is a comfort video of mine. I see you have it unlisted but please never private or delete it.
1 likeYour voice and the things you say and sing are the ultimate comfort to me. The only reason I have YouTube premium is so that I can listen to you while I'm doing literally everything
0 likesIt makes me so sad to think that everything you do you feel spaced out doing it, and that when I saw you in concert I feel bad that it's like you never got the full experience. I've had a few bad days before when I've been super spaced out and I know how it feels so shit. I just wish that I could help you 😢 💕 We love you, and if there's anything that your 'fandom' can do to help, I know we'll all pull through. Love 💚
0 likesHey man, thank you for this. Really well said. The point about "my working brain and my non-working brain are so different, and they have no empathy for each other," was just brilliant. I never considered it a thing of empathy, but it really is. I can't /feel/ for the other side of me when I'm in one end. And the point about "stop checking" was also really new to me. Just a really relatable and awesome video, thank you. <3
17 likes4:10 - 4:40
0 likesAs someone suffering from derealization/depersonalization that hit me hard. I feel that exact thing all the time, and it fucking sucks.
Holy shit I can relate so hard to you. Not even half way through this video and I already subscribed 💕
0 likesHad a more depressive day today than usual, and this made me feel a better. This is a good explanation, thank you. Today feels like a grey space, or a veil is over my head, so I’m seeing everything through that grey veil.
0 likesOr like when you need glasses, and finally get glasses, you realize what you’re missing, like how detailed things like trees are.
That’s depression and for me medication is the glasses. I forgot to refill my prescription for over a month so the depression has kicked back in but hopefully I’ll be back to my goofy self soon.
Thank you for sharing this :)
When you said "Im sorry, Im depressed", I felt that really hard compared to the rest of the things that you said because while Im sure I don't necessarily have depression(that feeling more certain after your explanation of how it makes you feel), I find myself apologizing for when my stresses reach a verbal or visually physical level, and Im the type of person to laugh at my problems and not take them seriously. Someone said I shouldn't apologize for me not being my best, and you saying that triggered that memory. I was starting to forget that memory so thanks, you helped me remember something important 👍💖💜💙
0 likes"I feel this longing for something and i'm just not getting it" so accurate!!!!
120 likesi really admire people who can articulate their feeling and emotions because ive never been able to even understand myself let alone explain it to others
0 likesI always watch this when I’m depressed, for some reason it helps
0 likesYou explain it so well. Thank you
1 likeThis is actually rlly calming
1 likeI always just listen to the Beatles(60s Beatles) when I'm feeling depressed
64 likesAre usually just makes my body feel better I guess
And my brain go white
It's better to feel like that then feel nothing and have a blank mind
Replies (5)
Sorry that was so unbelievably depressing
1 likeI'm usually very happy person. Very yellow, blue, green, and orange
Usually very dodie yellow? Also, why do you prefer the old Beatles music? (Please tell me you get the reference)
2 likesPizza and other foods i was about to adress the same question
0 likesPizza and other foods OH GOD THAT SHORT FILM MADE ME CRY
0 likesOmg it sounds super emo but when I am having a bad day/week/month I will just listen to my chemical romance over and over. They are like my comfort blanket because when I was 12 and felt so alone they understood how I felt ;-; so now I jsut get joy from hearing their music.
0 likesCongrats im so proud of you!
0 likesI lost my grandad and my grandpa 1 week ago. I feel so guilty cause I was so mean to them.
2 likes😢😓😭😔
I could not relate more. I love this video. Thank you for uploadinggg.
0 likesthis video is so nostalgic for me (not bad or good, just oddly familiar) I was in a place like this roughly two years ago. it was mostly the "nothing makes me feel good, there's nothing I want to do, nothing is working" and crying when I would get home. I remember exactly how it felt, but I don't feel it nearly as often. Back then I was convinced antidepressants would make me feel "fake emotions" like I was meant to be depressed or something. old me was a silly pal. I'm doing loads better than I was then, but there were still good times. it was so rocky, very back and forth between feeling and the lack of it.
0 likesin a way I feel like that time made me who I am, but if I had to go back I wouldn't ever want to go through that again.
I'm speechless.
0 likesOn August 2018, I got depressed for the first time in my life and still going on up until now (it gets better). I used to be a happy and a very positive and mindful person and i never once doubt myself.
I've been searching for explanations of what i was going through but none of them fit my category. I still wouldn't be able to describe my depression..
Until you start telling how depression feels like, i never been more relieved in my life that i started tearing up. I think this the closest description to my depression
I don’t know how many times I’ve watched this. it just justifies depression is different for everyone, we all have different experiences and in different intensities. Some days we don’t want to get out of bed when others we can do everyday things and paint on an exhausting social face. Romanticisation of mental illness is a killer and makes those suffering feel worse, this video is an example of how even though sometimes people don’t look like it they could be suffering alone. We need to be upfront no matter how hard it can be.
0 likesI always come back to this video on days like this. And I feel this so hard rn
0 likesI relate to this video so much i'm watching it all the time
0 likesthen i realize that sucks because being depressed kills every little piece of joy in my life. I have so much envy of people who don't suffer from a mental ilness
i wrote a little poem/song about depersonalization. it's not good but i'm still learning how to write:
796 likesfeel again
another day goes past another
everyday is just a blur
how i wish i could just go back
go back to how things were
nothing feels real anymore
the world seems so thin
all i want is just one thing
and that's to feel again
no one seems to understand
that somethings wrong with my brain
is something really wrong with me
or am i just insane?
AGAIN, ITS NOT THE BEST BUT IM LEARNING
Replies (42)
no ones gonna see this but i thought i'd share anyway
3 likesPeople are seeing it :) Thanks for sharing
3 likesThat was actually amazing. :)
3 likesPlease continue it or write more it's amazing ❤
3 likesthis is really profound and I really like it, keep writing, you're very good at it!!
1 likethanks everyone, it really means a lot :)
2 likes• reagan • no fren that's so good! Definitely keep it up!
1 likei really like ur profile pic
1 like• reagan • fren this is awesome and beautiful,keep working you're amazing!
1 likeThat's a wonderful poem! At least you are expressing yourself and that's ok :)
4 likesBeautiful writing, Regan <3 You're so not alone with thinking and feeling this.
4 likes• reagan • please sing that and finish it. today is the worst for ne and I can't stop crying.
2 likes• reagan • I love it
2 likesThat influence by tøp is awesome. but man yeah I got you, that is really good, I like it!
2 likes• reagan • WAIT REAGAN IS THAT U
1 likeThatTVaddict t ill work on it more after school, i hope your day gets better :)
1 likeuncle cordy WHATS YOUR NAME
1 likeTHIS IS IT. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS
1 likeI will admit I thought you were referring to me even though I haven't written anything yet.
1 likeEvery poem can be sang as a song, have you tried it with yours? has a ring
2 likes• reagan • holy shite i relate too much heck
1 likeNightyNightcore ive tried but i can't find the right tune yet
0 likes• reagan • it's so beautiful! stay alive |-/
1 likeI wanna sing that so bad
1 like• reagan • WAUW its amazing!
2 likes• reagan • oh my gosh. i read that to the tune of addict with a pen what is my life. that is awesome though! i reminds me of tøp
2 likesso the lyrics inspired me a bit and i recorded myself singing this, and i thought i'd share it (i hope it's okay)
1 likehere a link (there is 2 versions because well i'm not sure why but whatever the shortest is a bit better i think) https://soundcloud.com/user-86244028
Purple Navy the link isn't working :( i really wanna hear it!
2 likesPurple Navy AHHH THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY
1 likeawww thank you :D
1 likeThis is really good !
3 likes• reagan • this is very good xx and we pretty much have the same name !! this is so uncommon for me
2 likesTHIKS IS SO GOO D SOMEONE MAEK A SONG OUT OF RBIS PLEASE
1 likePhil's Eyelash im actually working on it right now! i'm going to play it on ukulele and i'm figuring out chords atm :)
1 likeoh my god i just realized i said "does past another" instead of "goes past another" ITS FIXED NOW BUT BDHXHABXB
2 likesThis is wonderful. Totally depicts how depersonalisation feels. Thank you for putting it into words xx
2 likesreally great, keep writing :)
2 likesThis is so beautiful!!! It's so nice when someone mirrors exactly what you're feeling through art
2 likesthank you guys, reading all your kind messages really made my day :)
4 likes• reagan • Really great poem! Very relatable
1 like• reagan • that is amazing, I have no idea what to say
1 likewhen i feel down or discouraged i just come back here and read all of your comments, they make me so happy and motivated :)
0 likesYou make eating green beans look delicious
2 likesI worry every time you make this video public. Are you okay right now, Dodie? Do you need someone to talk to?
1 likeI started to tear up on how relatable this is 💔💔💔
0 likesThis sounded like a beautifully sad song 😭❤️
0 likesUGH, girl, I'm in the exact same goddamn boat. Miserable. I'm comforted to know that many miles away someone understands my situation that I look up to so much. It's just a process. A process is neither good nor bad. It just is. This just is. And until we can fix it, we fight back. I believe in you. ❤️
28 likesReplies (14)
what a nice attitude! definitely fight back!! <3 <3
5 likeswell its nice that you can look up to her. i however can not look up to someone like this and it does not help to know someone miles away is in the same situation. i mean i may as well tell myself everytime i feel sad at least i am not a straving child in affrica or at least i am not dead for all the good knowing someone i do not even know and cant even speak too is feeling the same way i am.
0 likesthewewguy8t88 I think you're missing why it comforted me. It doesn't comfort me to think at least I'm not doing worse like children starving in Africa. It's important to reflect on that, but it's not comforting when you're already driving on a highway wondering how much it would actually hurt to slam into the wall beside you and feel finally peaceful, you know? This helped me because I've been waking up for months feeling all of her feelings, yesterday especially. And while I don't have depersonalization, I've had a hard time grasping reality because of these chemical things I can't control. A doctor told me recently I may need psychiatric treatment for bipolar disorder, and I don't have any means of seeking the treatment I actually need because of money. Even paying $30 for that visit is stressful. I felt comforted watching this because Dodie has been seeking treatment for herself for months, being told they don't know how to help her yet, and is still trying. That's why I look up to her. It's sometimes quite literally debilitating to feel this way, but her being so transparent about it helps me remember that I'm not crazy, just a little unbalanced. Removing stigma is something to look up to, I think.
1 likewell like i said it does not help me at all. i myself need support from someone i can relate too right now maybe thats selfish and wrong of me to say and makes me nothing but a selfish spoiled whinny brat who is throwing a temmper trantuim to say exactly what i want but i want support from someone i can realte too. thing about this video and most youtubers who make videos like this is they only give me half of what i want and half is not enough for me. and no one ever tires to give me fully what i need. and like i said the response is grow up and get over it you are not depressed you are just a tolder or baby throwing a temper traintrum. i am sick and tired of it. i am sick and tired of no one giving me support and just telling me ignore things or get over it or disstract yourself from feeling this way and never ever just supporting me telling me yes i feel the same way you do and its okay i get it and understand lets try to figure this out this out together.
0 likesthewewguy8t88 That's understandable! There's a lot to watch on here, many stories and many ideas that hopefully converge more with yours and can help you feel more related to. I understand you completely actually! I'm 21, and it wasn't until I was about 18 that I had a good relationship with my family and could talk about these thing without being called dramatic, annoying, a liar, a bitch, the list goes on. And I remember feeling all of these awful things like this as a very young girl. I'm lucky to have had that change in my life where I feel valid and not crazy talking about my mental health, perhaps yours isn't quite here yet, you know? Even if we're in different places and mind sets, don't be afraid to reach out every once in a while. I've been told I'm a good support system. Sending lots of well wishes your way. :)
0 likesthank you your comment helps me feel a bit better. but you are lucky to me you are right i am honestly happy for you to be able to feel better. i cant right now truth is i can but not stably like ironically i can be happy with my friends when i see them or talk to them sometimes because they kind of wont let me. and i dont want to be that way in front of them. i want to be postitive and happy in front of them and while i am with them. but when i am alone i have no real reason to be poistive or happy unless i am watching videos that do make me happy or playing video games but those last only so long before i get tired of those things and then where am i. i mean also slightly the same for music too(the typical thing that makes everyone happy when they are upset) to me its a disstraction not a means to stop feeling upset when i am upset and lonely i want and need support from other human beings i know that sounds different from most people and again i get an impression its a wrong way of feeling and typical advice i would get is i need profesional help. or i need to stay off the intnernet and disstract myself and yeah disstracting myself lasts only so long so it feels like professional help is the only thing that can work for me apparently to most people instead of i dont know like i said actually trying to be supportive and understanding like i can see you are doing right now :)
0 likesthewewguy8t88 There's no wrong way to feel about any of it. You kind of remind me of my friend, he's a recovering alcohol and pill addict (that's not the part that reminds me of you, lol) and he feels good when he's busy, when he's with friends, and then he gets alone and the demons crawl back out. He's so strong and hasn't slipped back in two years total sobriety, but he struggles. He's been doing really well lately though, sticking to self reflection, thinking about his life a little less personally and trying to find things and hobbies that do distract him. He teaches me so much every day about recognizing my own faults and my own struggles but not letting myself stop living for letting happiness in because of them. I think distractions are amazing, only if you're able to find some kind of independent, genuine enjoyment from them. I use videos and music for that too. :) Just remember that even if everything is not ideal, you have love in your life. That's pretty dang cool.
0 likesyeah thanks thats good to know actually about your friend i am happy to hear he is doing well and it makes me feel a tiny bit better to know someone else is expericing something like what i am exepriecing. like i said i feel like most people simpfly things to find an outlet for yourself and you will automatically be happy which i do not think its that simple since sometimes someone just does not have an outlet. like you said you have to find independent genunine enjoyment from something and i do and i can but truth is sometimes it only lasts for so long and even worse sometimes if i am not doing something i know can make me happy i get sad and upset and again people just tell me i am being a whiny baby. like i said rarely do people actually try to talk to me to understand why i am upset most people just tell me to stop being upset.
0 likesthewewguy8t88 That feels to me like people in your life probably don't have anything like depression, anxiety, etc to deal with themselves, at least not without tangible environmental cause, you know? My parents were very similar, my mom has never dealt with anything like this to this day, but my dad slipped a disk while he was unemployed and on top of feeling just kinda worthless and down in the dumps being out of work and hurt, his medications brought on a sort of induced depression and now he can understand me a little more. You're not whining, don't let anyone make you believe that. I think it's important you keep reaching out even if you get backlash, people minimize what they can't fully understand. It's not fair, but at least it puts some meaning to the madness.
0 likesyeah thank you your words honestly feel more vaidating to me then anything this girl puts in her videos. like despesiate the fact that she is a person talking to a camera honestly that is all this person feels like a person talking to a camera and its hard for me to relate to someone like that since while i am sure its not intentenal talking to a camera feels scriped like its not real where as you what you are typing feels and sounds real and guneune and like i said that means more then any words someone can say to a camera can. i wont lie i may have a simular issue where i cant fully understand why and how people can get commfort from a vlog but i am getting a bit more of context as to who this person is and why she may mean a lot to so many people. for me i cant get comfrot from people like her because of several personal reasons not because of her but because of my own personal experiences with people like her. people like her upset me to be honest and its because people like her do not try to show they are different and everyone expects me to to understand and have different expectiations when dealing with people like her. i expect/expected people like her when they say and act like they can relate to me to be like me and to want to interact with people who say they can relate to them but again i got told i was wrong for expecting that. and i understand why but that just causes more issues for me.
0 likesthewewguy8t88 That makes sense! There's lots of people on YouTube who have an insane amount of followers and people relating to them that I frankly can't begin to like or relate to. To no fault of their own, I just don't click with them, and maybe that's Dodie for you. I personally relate to her a lot, we're the same age, have similar likes and interest, senses of humor, and so on. I really enjoy hearing her thoughts and her content overall, but it's not as though everyone as to. She's not in the wrong for you not liking or relating to her, just as much as you're not in the wrong for feeling that way in the first place. You could be the most perfect delicious flawless peach in the entire world, and there will still be someone who just simply doesn't like peaches. There's to many of us for everyone to like and relate to everyone, haha. I live my life with neutral expectations for people, I don't expect anyone to understand me or enjoy me as much as I don't expect them to misunderstand me or dislike me. Makes life less complicated.
0 likesyeah for me i do not have neutral expectations which i was i did but i
0 likescant for me its all or nothing kind of thing. do not get me wrong there
are people i enjoy following but they post content that is different
and not as personal and is about topics i like and enjoy hearing people
talk about. like its complicated for me people who talk more about their
personal life as a topic more then anything seem empty to me and make
me kind of sad because like i said i feel like if i was to do the same
thing i would get told to kill myself because i was so bad. but i mean
for i also can understand she built up a fan base before she was
comfortable posting videos so it makes sense.
thewewguy8t88 I feel like if you get any kind of following that's likely though, which is awful and disheartening. :/
0 likesit really is which is one reason its disscoruaging to actually try to make videos.
0 likesits like she's reading my unreadable thoughts and emotions for me. ahh thank you
0 likesI get you fam, Waiting sucks ass.
0 likesI’ve had to wait to get my thyroid tested too just to convince my mom I might need to go to a therapist then I had to wait to see them, now I’m waiting for one of those dna test things to come back and see what I’m predisposed to genetically and wait til I’m 18 and in college to get help ughhhh
i keep watching this because thats exactly how i feel and it helps
0 likesi can relate to this so much, it's weird but i felt better watching your video. Thanks
0 likesIt's so great seeing a person u admire feel the feelings u do and show this side of themselves, but then u remember "Oh shit, it's not a fun feeling. I'm sorry it sucks." awkward shoulder pat
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Emily Schoenborn solaaarr
0 likesThis hit parts of me, I didn't know existed. I literally related to every word of this.
0 likesI used to watch this and feel the same way, had a lot of off days. Today for the first time I watched the video and didn't relate. I feel something like hope today. So in case you are wondering if you will get out of this pit of depression and despair - yes. there is hope.
0 likesI got so excited at the though of watching a specific show, and like halfway through I was like " I don't like this anymore" then I was like let me watch this other show that I really really really like but then I was like "ugh" I fell asleep and woke up and like my whole body was fucking HEAVY and I have like a cold yea but it's not a cold kind of sickness and then I cried and now I'm online so yea plus my apartment is dirty and I hate it and I'm like ok I gotta clean but now it's like really hard to get up so 🤷
5 likesI relate to this. I used to be so happy and grateful but now my lows are getting worse and death looks peaceful. Death has become a goal and a dream.
0 likesI always come back to this video when I’m going through my depressive episodes. Hi, I’m back.
1 likeIf only I had seen this sooner I would've known I wasn't so alone in what I was feeling.. Everything, i mean literally everything you're saying is exactly how I felt for years before I started my medication (been on them for about a year now)! Like the part where you happy and convinced that everything is super, but then when you're sad you just wanna say 'fuck you' to your happy self for being in denial. Hope things are better for you now though, all my love to you Dodie!<3
0 likesThe only thing I can say, is that I feel exactly this way
0 likesI just never get tired of this video <3
0 likesIt’s funny, cause Depression comes in so many different forms but yet everyone who talks about it can relate to the other people who describe it even tho they might all be going through different situations, it’s good to share these things with us, it helps to know you’re not alone
0 likesThank you, I think I need to see a therapist because I’ve felt like this for a while
2 likeswhen she started to discribe how she felt with her depression, i really felt like someone knew how i felt to. i felt the exact same way that she felt
0 likesI feel the urge to give you a huge hug
5 likesI want to cry really bad but i just cant lol
170 likesUpdate: I learned how to correctly deal with my emotions and crying is like a routine to me now, talking about it is easier too
Sending good energy to all of you!
Replies (6)
Joy Turina I’m so sorry it’s gotten to that point.
0 likesExactly ugh this is my life
0 likesI’ve gotten to that point lol crying used to feel like a release. Almost like when you have the stomach flu and want to puke cause you know you’ll instantly feel better. Crying used to do that for me feeling like this and now I don’t even have the energy to cry lol cause I know it won’t help. Or relieve anything. Which sucks. So now I have no release.
3 likessometimes a cry can give temporary healing to those negative thoughts.
0 likesFeel ya.. I lost some of ny friends because depression.. I cried but i didnt feel like.. Anything. Sadness a little bit.. Dunno...
2 likesJoy Turina reading this makes me so happy! I’m glad you’re doing better
0 likesi always come back to this video when I have these days. you remind me that i'm not the only one.. love you dodes
0 likesI know this video is old, but it is so relatable I had to comment. Thank you for being so open. Oh lord I have more blood work and other testing. I feel like a lab rat.
0 likesI always watch this when I'm feeling depressed. Like now!
6 likesI have exactly the same thing Doddlevloggle, when I look at things in the distance I don't even recognise where I am and everything looks almost like a painting. It's very surreal. This all happened for me after a migraine aura. In fact, you can have chronic silent migraines without any head pain and get all these weird symptoms. It might be something to consider or mention to your doctor. I was diagnosed with migraine variant balance disorder aka vestibular migraine and a lot of people have exactly these symptoms. It could be that this is actually going on with you too, and yes, you can have a silent migraine aura without head pain for years!
0 likesI'm not sure if I'm depressed today. I just feel really bad so I don't go to work. But your voice is so beautiful, it makes me feel a tinge better. Thank you dodie, gonna share this to my depressed friends.
0 likesYou've described my depression exactly. :(
0 likesThis reminds me of that one time when I was so depressed I wanted to die ( die , not kill myself... there is a difference 😗 ) and that feeling actually stayed for almost a week but after I stopped being depressed I couldn't believe that I actually wanted to die , like it didn't sound real that I felt that way , like I'm an optimistic person so it really shocked me , though I still have these days where I do get depressed for literally no reason ( mayhaps my period and hormones have a part to do with it 🙃 ) but that time I think it was the worst
1 likeI never felt this relatable with anything in my life
3 likesJust one little thing about the medications. The sheet probably says it, but if it doesn't I want you to know. They're not an immediate fix, but at the right dose for a few weeks and slowly but surely you'll start to see improvements. I hope for you that you can find something soon that can help you feel a little bit less depressed on those depressed days. 💛💚💜
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yup!!!
1 like+++ came here to say this :) they're not "happy pills" and they do have side effects, but if just therapy isn't helping, a combination of the two might!
1 likealittlemoreme sertraline destroyed me...and one of my friends more recently...
2 likesi took it for 4 weeks last january ('16) and i didnt sleep, couldnt eat, was having panic attacks, vomiting and was just a big mess...way worse than without the meds.
my friend had similar symptoms this year and recently tried to commit suicide by overdosing on them because she felf so shit on them.
ssris are some intense drugs that can help...but can also ruin your life.
be careful with meds. they can make things way worse.
hanzib31 did you talk to your doctor about this? With psyc meds it's really important to find the right type/dose and to see if you actually need them at all. Everyone reacts differently. The point of taking them is not to "cure" you from depression, your body very often does that by itself. The point is to make the process more bearable (or in extreme cases to stop the patient from doing anything that can't be undone). You should absolutely not have to stick through it and keep eating them, if they are making your depression worse :(
0 likesSara yes i did. i took them for a few weeks as the dr said the side effects would most likely calm down...when they didnt, i stopped. he tried me on a few others but they did nothing...like i literally couldnt even tell id taken anything.
0 likesim aware of how theyre meant to work. ive studyed ssris and depression quite deeply in multiple courses Ive done via uni and via personal research. i know they work for some and not for others.
i just always feel the need to.let people know that they dont always help ...sometimes they make things worse. and people need to be careful with them.
i know they arent a cure. and i was never expecting them to be...but i definitely wasnt expecting my whole body to totally reject them so much. it was scary.
😣
hanzib31 I agree, the drugs should be the last option. I can imagine it being very scary :/ hope you're feeling better!
1 likealittlemoreme i took mine for.. like 9 or 10 months. I felt no difference whatsoever. sometimes they even made me feel more anxious (i was taking them for social anxiety and depression).
1 likehanzib31 I had such a bad experience on citalopram! Just had like the worst 6 months of my life. They made everything so much worse :/
0 likesMarie Diamandis yeah...citalopram was nasty for me too... im on fluoxetine now. which seems like its not too bad. ive only been on it for 2 weeks and it hasnt given me any crazy side effects.
0 likesAccurate description of how i felt for 10years of my life till i started medication and therapy then i became a normal human being.
0 likesI fit into EVERYTHING SHE SAID (Especially the waiting list with NHS, I'm going through that atm its pretty frustrating)
0 likes4:18- 4:39 i literally hate how i cried because of how much i can emotionally relate to that rant
0 likesThis is the best explanation of depression EVER. It obviously feels different for everyone but to me this is just soo relatable and I feel like this is super easy for people without depression to understand and get an idea of what it feels like
0 likesi hope your okay dodie, look your always a good youtuber, you should just try to take some time off maybe?? that could be a great excuse because you might be stressed off out of being famous on youtube for uploading most of the time?? you should just try your best to be whoever you are, because your not the only one. i love you dodie, this is my message to you from eliot.
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She's said that she finds making videos gives her purpose and is really therapeutic for her. So maybe more regularly would be good? :)
13 likesI’m so glad this exists cause I needed to hear it from someone that they have it too
0 likesStay strong, I’ve been in your position before it will get better I promise, stay strong stay happy, it will be a painful transition I promise you it will get better we all do
0 likesI'm so thankful I haven't had a serious episode in years, but it's still hard.
0 likesI have been feeling like this, every single day, for 4+ weeks straight. Somebody please, please help me. I'm so tired.
2 likesawwe i hope you feel better Dodie ❤
16 likeseverything i have felt for many years in one video.
0 likesWhen she said, “ hey you’re feeling better, you’re going to feel better again, it’s a lie and I’m lying to myself and this is how I naturally feel” I felt that
1 likeI just thought that I was and am incredibly lazy. And that I’d have days that I’m just stupidly lazy and not want to do anything including eating, drinking, hygiene etc. but then I watched this video. And the more words came out of her mouth the more my eyes started to well up.
0 likesThank you for this. For posting this. This has helped me a great deal
Edit: especially the bit about getting depressed in a social situation. And glazed eyes and just giving nothing.
I always see this video when I am depressed cause she says everything I want to say and can’t tell anyone
1 likeI love how you talk about this. It makes me feel a bit better somehow
78 likesmeditation is the key to deppresion and also having goals in life and a purpose......i know how it feels to be depressed,tried it for years. for anyone struggling from deppression take my word for it please do the 2 things above.
1 likeGod damn! Preach it! So true. Everything. I wonder how it feels to not be depressed
0 likesI first heard your voice from this amazing sample of a song, "Blur.JPG" by Danke
0 likeshttps://soundcloud.com/iamdanke/blur
I cry almost everytime listening to it
This is exactly what I feel and think everyday
0 likesI've watched this video like 3 times in the past 24 hours. You are just so eloquent and refreshingly candid and honest while talking about depression. I really appreciate you sharing so much of yourself and your emotions (or lack thereof) with us, the internet™. It helps me feel real and not like a bad human. Thanks, Dodie!
13 likesThank you for this video. This is insanely relatable unfortunately.
0 likesFeel the same way. It’s a struggle daily. This world is just getting worse. It’s extremely hard to find happiness or purpose now.
6 likesThis is honnestly one of my favorite videos on Youtube🤷♀️
0 likesI know I just commented but as I keep watching the video it actually scares me how everything you’re describing is everything I went through. Especially the feeling “blind” part, it’s like everything is foggy and you literally can’t see. And before this depression I had over the summer I never really understood what depression was, I thought it was just kinda being sad but it’s SO much more than that. I had my thyroid tested and everything else too but everything came back normal. Depression is so insane, after experiencing it I just want to hold everyone else in the world that is dealing with it
0 likesI love the snappy intros :D
1657 likesReplies (1)
I y a n a that’s ironic
0 likesI love you so much...I wish I could make videos about all of this stuff like you do but, Im terrified that it wont come out right. Like, I'll say the wrong thing or my anxiety will flare up and I'll start getting visibly nervous on screen and people will think Im a fucking weirdo or something. :(
0 likesi always come back to this video when i’m sad :)
0 likes2:07 3:52 and 4:57 You managed to make things less depressing.
41 likescome here a lot when im feeling stuck. helps a lot to hear someone else. and yes waiting waiting waiting, its been 14 months of trying to get treatment and im still getting sent away and referred and everything is a whirlpool
4 likesI feel like I'm talking to my friend on Skype and she's telling me a story and you don't reply to anything and they just carry on without ur approval and it's the best thing EVEr
144 likesReplies (1)
Same
0 likesi love this sm like i love everything about it ❤️
0 likesI wish I could have depressed days from time to time.
0 likesCause this video is me every day.
please open your video to be subtitled, I'm a translator and I would love my friends to know you and to learn more about depression, and you always make good and real videos about it
0 likesYou’re so good at describing this holy hell :’’’’(
0 likeswe all love and are here for you dodie! you're beautiful kind and brave plus where would we be without dodie yellow! have a wonderful day I hope you're feeling better soon xxx
4 likesI get this so hard, 1 million percent. I've watched this video a few times. the last time was months ago when I thought everything was absolutely horrible and nothing felt right at all. Now everything is worse and it has been getting worse, now I finally get this video so hard and I understand the constant negative and the slapping yourself with the 'WHY WONT IT STOP!' it sucks. I just want it to stop. Fuck.
0 likesdodie, have you ever had anyone think you may have bipolar? i'm sending my love. hold on.
0 likesYou know, I watched this years ago before I started having real mental health issues and didn't get it.
0 likesI come back now while going THRU it with depression and anxiety and having to see a therapist.
I get it now.
I relate to you so much! I have so much derealization, which makes me depressed and hopeless..
0 likes"I've got a secret for the mad
3 likesin a little bit of time it won't hurt so bad"
Thank you so much for writing that song! I think I would have gone insane without it. I've had chronic fatigue syndrome for a bit over a year now and on my worst days, everything seems completely meaningless and hopeless. You and your songs help me through it by reminding me that it's when I'm healthy and happy I see the world clearly and my bad days will pass. Good luck with medication and therapy!
"feel like I cant open my eyes wide enough" wow I have had that exact feeling!
0 likesThis is how I felt yesterday. Definitely.
5 likesi’m not sure if i’ve commented here before but i keep going back to this video when i feel down. i don’t say depressed bc i’m not completely sure i even am and i don’t want to assume when lots of people have it worse than me.
2 likesbut i recently made an internet friend and she vents to me about things and i’m fine with it bc she doesn’t rly have anyone to talk to abt this so i take the role. anyway these past two weeks has been shit, actually this whole quarantine is shit but these past few weeks were shittier than usual for multiple reasons. and she’s venting to me as usual & i wanna vent too but idk,, it just feels weird. i wanna be there for her y’know and i don’t wanna make her feel even more sad so i just let her talk.
i don’t wanna be a burden.
i just kinda feel lost and numb and everything feels the same and i just keep doing the same things everyday and i’m fucking tired of all of it.
I absolutely love your sweater. Sorry, I know this is supposed to be a semi-serious/ serious video but like THAT'S A REALLY HECCIN NICE SWEATER
0 likesI thank you for being able to put those particular feelings into words because i find that so difficult to do.
3 likesMental illness fucking sucks and i feel your pain Dodie.
I really can relate with the part when you say "you know objectively". Because that's what happened to me, too. I study psychology in college. I have a fairly good understanding about myself. I'm very familiar with different types of mental illnesses since I learn thoroughly about them in class. And I also understand about self-care, self-acceptance, and yada yada yada all those things.
0 likesSo it's very frustrating when at times, I felt so down. I'm more anxious than depressed, but it's still bad lol. And it sucks when you realize what's happening inside your brain and you actually know what's the right thing to do, but you keep falling to same hole over and over again. (Idk, I just rambling lol)
Anyway, for those who are reading, stay strong! :") Please seek help if you feel that you can't deal with it by yourself. It might be shitty today, and I can't guarantee you it won't be shitty tomorrow, but it will get better. Maybe not in the near future, but it will. It will.
The "like my chest is heaving, like I'm longing for something I'm not getting" kinda fucking hit me as I feel like that right... now so
0 likesjesus i feel this almost every day now. i have the odd hour where i actually feel happy, but then everything gets so bad afterwards, worse than when im usually depressed. i can’t see a doctor about anything because there is no way my parents will react well, so i have to wait until i can get help, which will probably be in a couple of years.
0 likesthis is me right now, today. I’ve tried to get out cause it’s nice and sunny outside and most of the time that works, but my self esteem is low and my anxiety’s high and i don’t want to have any social interactions with anybody cause I don’t want them too see me. And then my anxiety kicks it’s way into my brain even more and reminds me to worry about things I need to do and it all just feels like one big mess of a cycle. ughhhhhhhhhhhh I should probably see a therapist I know but it’s hard for me to tell people how I feel and how they’ll react. I hugely appreciate you posting this video, it makes me feel less alone rn
0 likesTo all those who experience symptoms of depression and want help, MEDS WORK! They work for most people. They've made me so much better. So much better. And if they end up not working for you, hey at least you tried and anyways, there are loads of different meds and maybe you'll find one with your doctor that helps you. (: I find people are so scared of medication. But it helps loads (:
297 likesReplies (39)
preach, meds saved my life.
11 likesLottie Smith - SAME
3 likesYes. They are waaay too stigmatized.
4 likesya but some people are afraid that they're gonna have to rely on the pill for the rest of their life to feel better. that's why my mom decided not to take them.
7 likesShen Rushin I don't have personal experience with them but they gave me my brother back when I thought he was past the point of no return. Please, if you're thinking of trying them, do 🙏
2 likesPs, I believe in and love you all, I really do ❤ you matter ❤
They do work, and none of them are the same!!! doeses are different person to person!!!!!!! I finally found the right one for me about 5 months ago and now I dont need it anymore. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE THEM YOUR WHOLE LIFE. Im off of it and I feel great. depression IS cureable!!!
2 likesGeorgina Drake that's amazing. That's so great
0 likesheisenburger exactly!
0 likesShen Rushin well i wish i could but my parents think depression is "just feeling sorry for yourself" and that its a fad and that's completely insane but they dont support me getting therapy or meds so im just surviving without them til i move out i suppose which is only in like 3 years but it feels like a life time
1 likeI really need them but my brother takes one for like distraction or something else and changes completely he is so serious and cold. I am afraid that it will change me, and my mother thinks that I am depressed but not that serious but I know it and I don't have money to a therapist anymore
2 likesOh god
Ren CC if you can get meds you should at least try them, i have tons of friends they help but i know one who had to switch between a few kinds because they changed him but he finally found a kind that works and they help him a lot
2 likesAnna Kuykendall Thanks! I'll try it when I have the opportunity
1 like@Ren CC oh no! I'm sorry for your brother and I understand why you'd feel that way! Maybe you could talk with your personal doctor about side effects of antidepressants. Prozac (my understanding of it is) that it's a really low-risk kind of medication that is given to most people. You might want to look into that? Being not depressed is wonderful, I personally will put up with the possibility of side effects. And good luck with your life (:
3 likesthank you all for your comments, I'm about to start taking meds, but I was kinda worried. this really helped.
0 likes@Josefina oh of course! Dodie's comments sections are always so supportive I love it! Lol
1 likeShen Rushin I'm glad they work for you. Been down those paths for the last 20+ years without luck.
0 likesShen Rushin oh my god this is kinda unrelated but this comment reminded me to take my antidepressants tonight thank you so much for commenting this I would have forgotten otherwise
6 likes@Hannah Sexton that's great! Dude I always forget to take mine at night lol... I normally just take them in the morning because I forget so much
0 likesBelinda Weber aww.. I hope you find something else in your life that helps (: and good luck with your life (:
0 likesbut meds dont cure it. you become dependent on them & the side affects could very well kick in & make you aggressive. I recommend self recovery & a therapist & keeping a journal but that's my opinion
5 likesShen Rushin thing is, not all medications work for people. Most doctors just throw random chemicals together and call it a antidepressant, just like from Dave from boyinaband his medication works, but not as well as he wants it to, he's tried medication but it didn't work. As well with me, I've tried 10 different medications and the rest I can't take, so medications don't always work for people, so people rely on just the stuff that may help them and people to cheer them up, etc. sorry if i rambled on this is my opinion and a lot other people's view of depression and medications
1 like@Anna Keutsch nice! That's great.
1 likeShen Rushin thanks!! I really need to make my mom understand that skipping school from sadness and weakness is not normal. I hope I get it through her head
4 likes@Tammy Dawson self therapy and therapists are great. I have a therapist and a journal and all that jazz. It's more a personal thing than anything, I just feel like I can only cheer my self up to a 75 percent and the meds improve my life all the way up to a 95 percent. But honestly, if people can get by with therapy, and journals, and self care, that's amazing
1 like@Awkward Pizza the input is great. And yeah.. there is always another side to things, sadly.
1 likeDON'T DO MEDS!!!
0 likesShen Rushin I'm currently on a 4 month waiting list for a psychiatrist, so it's good to hear that finally I might find a solution :)
2 likes@Winterholidaylights I really hope you find the solution you've been waiting for! (: good luck
0 likesShen Rushin I want to be on meds so much but I don't have the money and my dad said that depression isn't real and I'm just seeking attention. :(
0 likes@JoBeth Rose i feel you. Only way I've been able to afford help is because of the decent healthcare I have in California. Money is such an issue for so many people and I wish it wasn't :( maybe you have a support counselor at your school? Youd have someone who knows about this stuff to talk to. You'd pay nothing and I've found that they're actually alright to talk to. (: good luck
2 likesShen Rushin they worked for me too! now I am almost one year on meds and I'll soon start decreasing the amount so that's me getting better! everything is way better than it used to be.
1 likeEccentric Dreams why???
0 likesShen Rushin thanks!
0 likesit's so true, it's not a magic cure but with things like therapy and self care they can really help. It can take time to find the right one(s) and the right dosages but it's worth the trial and error. Also, on a good day you can look up some common ones and get an idea of what you're looking at in terms of timeframe and side-effects so you can make an informed decision, even if you are talking with the doctor on a super shitty day and honestly don't care in the moment.
0 likes@Cat Caffeine preach
0 likesShen Rushin Meds haven't worked for me thus far but I'm glad they have worked for so many of you! I've tried 20+ different medications in different combinations while also doing CBT/DBT therapy.
0 likesShen Rushin mine made me more depressed... whenever i took them I'd get furious.."why do I do this to make me happy, I hate this" so I threw them away
0 likesLorelei Watson Have you tried CBD oil?
0 likesShen Rushin I'm on the strongest dose of mine and they're still doing nothing🙃
0 likesI rewatch this whenever I'm sad
1 likeWhen you eat snap peas (if that’s what they’re called) like the ones dodie are eating do you eat just the peas inside or can you eat the whole thing? Thanks lol
0 likesIt doesn't matter if I'm depressed or not. I can't afford to get help anyway
0 likesBut this is nice of u to educated people on this
I am watching this in quarantine and as soon as I started watching it, it started raining.
0 likesMood
i feel like i just had a really good chat with a friend. thanks dodes. Hope youre feeling better soon man. <3
3 likesI’ve never seen someone hit it so spot on
0 likesthis is exactly how i feel
2 likesThanks Doddie, it makes me feel better.
0 likesthis is me every single day😂
0 likesHey Dodie, I love watching your videos about depression/mental heath cuz hearing you talk about how you deal with it and what helps makes me feel like I'm not alone and that everyone feels sad and lonely sometimes. So honestly, just thank you!
3 likesMy mother always say "At the end of the day, no one can help you. Just choose happiness" She says that so easily but i feel so stuck... If there is a way to "choose happiness" then i would've done it right? Till this day, my mother still refuses to bring me to therapists cause she think its a waste of money and time...
7 likesI'm like you, over-feeling every little things, and I'm so happy I am cause I can get so freaking happy. I'm an eternal optimistic, and even with depersonalization and derealization, I kept this spirit. My therapist was like "You could go depressed", my friends were like "Could you become depressed" and I was like "No way. I'm way too much aware of all the amazing things in life, I could never get depressed".
0 likesWell guess what you lovely sunny me ? It's been a week, and it's becoming harder and harder to remember how to be happy. Nothing makes you smile, nothing make you motivate. You have this really important exam tomorrow, and you just can't focus on studying, because everything is blurry, fuzzy, everything seems worthless and dreamy. And you're supposed to know 24 analysis by heart, and right now you can't even remember what I ate yesterday. Took you five minutes, but now you know: you ate mushroom, pepper and something else. Yep lovely sunny me, I love you but you where wrong.
I know I will be okay, I know it. I know I can still have ten minutes where I'm suddenly alright, smiling and laughing.
But right now, even writing this comments is costing me, and looking at you Dodie, just felt so relatable.
I think I can pull myself back, and try to avoid to fall this deep, I think I can make it, I just have to seek for help right now and get back on my feet. But thank you so much, because seeing you talk about it felt so right, so heartwarming, and make me feel so less alone.
Thank you
2:13 oh my god. I never imagined that anyone else experienced it the same way I did. Thank you
1 likefaszinating how talkative and entertaining and active you are, when you're depressed. I am not. I am then just a piece of flesh with fatty hair, stinky clothes, pimples, almost no mimic and talking even less than I usually do as an introvert.
0 likesI know this must be so hard, so thank you for pushing through it and sharing with the world. There needs to be so much more awareness and educating done on mental illness. A simple "cheer up" from friends and family is not gonna cut it (however well meant it is). So thanks for being so open and elaborate with the experience.
3 likesYep...this is honestly me...every damn day...but I never have the feeling of getting better...
0 likesThe worst feeling is when you survived on a sucidal stage, and aftr a year its all coming back, but this time youre stronger and you dont wanna die anymore, so you just watch ur life being wrecked and doing nothing..🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
8 likesthat lil clap clap nice to meet you i'm depressed intro was the greatest thing. i wish i was this sweet while depressed
0 likesthanks for putting it into words
3 likesHi dodie just wanted to say how much I appreciate your videos. I am going through something similar and it is horrible. What strikes me looking at Utube is how we are all creative intelligent people the best kind of people look how creative our brains are to get us to this state! But just wanted to say thanks I look at you and think we could be friends so many people are so boring shouldn't be so judgemental but you may agree?
0 likesI don't know why but every time I'm depressed I come back to this video. It's kind of comforting in a weird way. I've watched it so many times I lost count of it but every time it's kind of new and like I never watched it. It's weird. But I love it so much. You helped me so much with just a simple video of you sitting on the floor, eating and ranting about depression. so... Thanks
0 likesReplies (1)
back again
0 likesDon’t think I could relate to anything more in this world than this 🙃
0 likeswatching this after listening to Before the Line for the sixth time today and crying :)
1 likeEvery tunnel ends in light. Those are the words responsible for me still being here today.
0 likesi started crying while you were talking because i physically felt it in my chest because i know the feelings fuck
1 likeThis... Wow. Um. I've been trying to put stuff into words for quite a while now. I feel a lot of this, quite a lot. I'm tired so often, pretty much every day, and it weighs down on me like my body is a thousand times heavier then normal. And the stuff you said about not feeling things... I get it. I get that too. The good news is that I'm getting counselling and I have a blood test on Monday. The bad news is that there's a 2 month waiting list for counselling.
0 likesI don't want to say I have depression. Once, I was feeling really bad and empty and heavy and I muttered to myself "is this what depression feels like?" And my friend heard and said, "no, it's much, much worse." That happened twice. I have a group chat with two friends, and I was feeling so bad and no one was online so I just started sending messages talking about how I was feeling. For an hour. then someone came online and we talked and she was supportive and wonderful, but I didn't hear anything from the other girl. She came online the next day and I asked her to go read the messages. She'd read them. She hasn't said anything.
I miss the days where I was happy most of the time. I miss the days when I didn't have to worry about not enjoying the things I love. I miss them and I don't know if I'll ever get them back.
But I have to believe that there will be a day where I say I'm okay and mean it.
Thank you, Dodie.
every time I fall back into the dark and scary rabbit hole that my depression is, I come back to this video (mostly unintentionally) and I feel just a little bit less alone. It is kinda calming… I know that might be weird. I’m glad that Dodie decided to share this and decided to keep it online. What always gets me is this; “I just feel this constant longing for something and I’m not getting it. Suddenly nothing is easy, everything seems terrifying and difficult and complex and messy and heavy, like nothing is going to be okay ever again.” Those are the words I struggle and fail to say, the things I can’t express when my mind is just this numb, grey ball of confusion. I hate my depression. Either I feel nothing at all or I feel scared, because of the lack of emotions or my own disinterest in keeping myself functioning.
0 likesI wrote down all the feelings I felt in the last few days (anxiety, sadness, anger, apathy and despair) and tried to find the reason for why I’m feeling what I feel. Makes it me feel better? No, but it keeps me busy.
This was recommended to me rn when I'm depressed today thank you for this
12 likesI just love the way you talk about this depressed time you expierence. I feel the same way! I feel like I have been drinking :| literally... unreal and not right. Yea.... i must go to sleep now. Bay, peace!
2 likesIt's like she put my thoughts into words
1 likeWhen im depressed i also feel like im dreaming and unmotivated and i feel like reality is gone and im just stuck in a state where i feel dizzy and emotional and i cant get anything done, unfortunately this happens alot and idk how to help it
1 likeI'm sorry you're feeling down, but I just want to thank you for sharing this raw moment in your life. I feel everything you've ever felt and it's nice knowing I'm not the only one with these thoughts and feelings.
3 likesI feel like it's possible that I have the depersonalization thing, but I'm not really sure. I just really relate to what you're describing, that fear that you're never going to see the world the same and all the feelings and experiences are just going to be filled with nothingness. I could just be disassociating a lot as a side effect from my dysthymia but idk. It's so difficult to speak or express myself when I get like that and I don't want to make people feel like I've given up trying to talk and connect with them
0 likesI feel empty and feel like I'm living in a dream and not waking up
3 likes3:54 - 4:40 i started crying because this is me for the past few weeks
4 likesI just, seeing real people with real problems is so helpful. Because I'm sitting in a room, surrounded by a mess, not knowing what's going to happen next. There's just so much that has gone wrong, that can go wrong, and it's terrifying. Last night there was an event, I won't go into detail, but pretty much everyone validated everything I've been feeling entirely inadvertantly, and there's that ache, and I didn't know where to go.
0 likesSo I put on a dress.
And I put on your videos. And it feels okay
how can you speak so openly about your depression?
655 likesReplies (12)
Some people are better at expressing themselves than others.
33 likesShe seems to do well with sharing and being open with us and others. Sadly I am at the other end and often find talking to be hard and like it won't help anything. I wish I was more open like her tbh.
18 likesSo people don't feel like they're alone
18 likesThere are some people I can speak to, but others are like: "you're not depressed, you're just a bit upset", "you don't have anxiety, you're just shy/scared", "you don't have depersonalisation, you just spend too much time on the laptop"...not saying that everyone has to understand, but it just doesn't help.
34 likesthat's awful of you to say. Maybe she does make money off of it, it doesn't take away from the fact that she's helping others and making others feel like they're not alone. Doctors get paid, but they help people live. Therapist get paid, but they help others get control of their mental illness. Dodie gets paid, because she is a role model and mentor, she brings people joy with her music, kindness, and ability to share painful emotions, to help others.
55 likesTherapy might help her be more open since she has discussed all of this with someone else and has a clear understanding of what she is going through and wants to help us know we are not alone.
7 likesrory armstrong ikr its such a personal thing for me
2 likesMaking videos help her, just like many other youtubers. Her fandom is really sweet and kind so she can feel ok talking about it, she knows she wont be judged by them and maybe she will be related to. That's how you speak openly about your depression.
25 likesIt's also kind of like talking to yourself in front of a camera about your depression
6 likesWell, personally I feel like if someone's been depressed for so long to be okay with it, to come to terms with it, and to detach yourself from the illness, talking about it actually makes you feel better. For me, talking about it like it's a normal thing that people go through (because it IS; a lot of people go through it) makes it all seem less heavy and a wee bit more hopeful.
10 likesI see it as an outlet. I can see making a video as a beautifully cathartic, mind-easing process. Not sure if this was sarcasm or genuine want-to-know curiosity. But that's how I view it.
8 likesrory armstrong The reason why some people are scared to talk about it is that culture avoids it. If you grow up with a family that is open about it it's easier.
42 likesMy problem is that on one of these days, i sort of go into this hyper reactive or angry state with others just so i can cut them off. I really want to be alone but i cant seem to get that and i just end up hurting the people i love.
0 likesPs. Im just a teenager who isn’t taken seriously by anyone in this South Asian household so... any advice?
Can relate on so Many levels, it's scary
0 likesI used to write on my walls so much that my parents painted the wall I write on with chalkboard paint lol
3 likesI have never heard anyone describe this so accurately
0 likesI LOVE THE "Wayo!" IM LAUGHING SO HARD😂😂 ily dodie!!
215 likesReplies (4)
i love your profile picture
5 likesTwentyoneplanes |-/
2 likesYAS CLIQUE
0 likesThis isn't a joke
0 likesNever has my off days been so accurately portrayed...
4 likesIm giving s thumbs up...not because I like that you are depressed..but because You have seemed to put words to how I feel for past 5 years or more.
1 likeBig hugs and a bag of edamame and a clink of our tea mugs
Thank you for putting it all into words because Its been hard for me to explain....and the last time i wrote in a journal..it ended up being for 5 hours straight...and i ended up feeling worse cuz I started thinking of other times...
Some people have actually gotten mad at me for bringing up old stuff.. but i cant help it.
And i think well why am i apologizing.... obviously it still isnt resolved for me.. even if the other person is fine and has long moved on... and im doing circles around it trying to analize every bad situation....trying to figure out what happened. My usual conclusion...i made a bad decision...with good intentions..it seemed like a good idea at the time.... but unfortunately ..like those choose your own adventure books...i cannot go back to change anything. And I tell myself next time i will know better...
So sweet your mum brought u to water slides to cheer you up...
Mine has not been so sweet.
Its been more like tellin me to just get over it already...along with many along tge past few years.. which doesnt make me feel better.. but worse.. for not being able to.... or other people telling me.. happy is a choice.
But i dont choose to be depressed.
So i step back from people...mostly the people who make me feel worse aboit already feeling horrible.
I take my cat sized dog out.
He is quiet and sweet and loves me unconditionally. And I think thats what I need... but dont have.
Anyway.. thank you for putting words to how im feeling too.
Some days are easier....but getting my little dog out for his walks..also gets me out.. whether i want to or not...but at the end of tge walk .. i feel a bit better...not always.. but
He needs to get out...and sometimes when Im upset...he paws at me... or licks my hand.
And reminds me it will be ok.....lets go for a walk. Walk it off in an attempt to shake it off.
AD didnt make things better for me ...much worse really. So those are a no go for me.. but hope they work for others.
Thyroid thing is there for me and I keep being told..once the levels are good.. you will feel better.
Im impatient... its now been years.
And i miss the old me.... shes in there somewhere. So some days are bad but Im not giving up....but i may just allow my self to chill here for a bit... then take me and my little furry friend out for some much needed fresh air.
Thank you
Im glas to have found you and your songs and this video.
Cheers
I always come back to this video when I'm no happy
2 likesThis made me laugh. I hope you're feeling better
0 likesThanks for sharing this experience, Dodie. You have no idea how much these video's by you and people like you had helped me in realizing my experiences with depression are valid and real and incited me to seek therapy. You have a great community supporting you on your journey to better mental health and I am entirely behind you and your choices (medication or not). Speaking from my personal experience though, I've had a bit of luck with medication but only when I used it in combination with regular therapy sessions. Sending love and positive vibes your way.
5 likesYou actually gave me a new insight! I think I am longing for something, but I do not know what that is! Thanks!
1 likeP.S. I know this comment may not make much sense, but OK.
Much love, bye!
thanks to you i bought some edamame and it’s pretty good
2 likesDodie it’s been two years and I love you
0 likessometimes i feel heavy, unmotivated and just like a sad blob. not sure if that’s depression but it happens a lot.
1 likeI watched this video a while ago and I shared it with a friend who has had depression since she was very young. At the time I was glad to find this because it made me feel like I could understand her better. And I think I did, in a more rational/logical way. Fast forward two years later and I find out I can actually understand how this feels, and gosh, it's hard but knowing it's something that happens to other people (and therefore not feeling crazy and alone) makes it all a bit better.
1 likeI can seriously feel the chemical part of my brian malfuctioning some days... which is something i'm sure I didn't undersatnd the first time I watches this. Thabk ypu for sharing.
When someone says depression doesn't exist I tell them how happy I am that they've never experienced it. Because I wish that state on no one.
0 likesthis is how i am today and i feel like its never gonna end. but it will;
0 likesthe phrase "yea I don't know" sometimes is the only way to describe a certain feeling
0 likesi just wish my mum would understand lmao. she always tells me how i feel is just "all in my head" and i'm like well yeah ??????? obviously ???????
290 likesReplies (2)
theisabelmiller yes. I wish my Mam and sister would just get it
3 likesit depends but honestly she is just explaining how it feels but there are ways to improve it. They are mechanisms that will make you improve.. your mom doesnt know cuz of the stigms that there is. But you can change it with the right brain excercises trust me.
0 likesI’ve always tried looking for the words to explain it to my friends and family now i have those words
0 likesJust took some frozen fruits out of the freezer and putted in a bowl then microwaved it before I watched this video. I love this mug btw, need one piano mug!
0 likeslooking back at this video, i used to hate saying i felt the same or resonated because it felt as if i was robbing the person who was sharing with me how they felt. now being professionally diagnosed with depression and anxiety, some days when i feel awful have no empathy for myself because even after finally being diagnosed it feels like this weird prank or lie in where i dont really have these things. as if im a fraud and am forcing myself to endure this for the sake of attention or i am offending people who are mentally ill.
1 likeThis is literally how i feel everyday
0 likesI don't know if I have depression, but sometimes I feel so hopeless, my chest is heavy, and I feel darkness
131 likesI don't know.
Replies (5)
Elize E <3
0 likesi'm not sure if you have depression (i mean how could i be sure lol) but if these feelings persist regularly or get worse make sure to tell someone or look for some sort of, healthy, help because if you ignore constant feelings of depression for too long of a time (that's what i did) it likely will get worse. but you very easily could just be feeling a little down at this point in your life which is perfectly normal! so don't get too worried or anything. i hope you feel better <3
16 likesSarah Last Name yes!! ^^ that is wonderful advice
2 likesI feel kinda the same thing. Like ' Wow you're just another person. The world changes very slowly. So slow, you might not reco´gnise it. You're not the one who changes the world or discoveres something.' Or I'm just annoyed of how I deal with people or with how I look or how I talk or my decisions. But then I push it all away and focus on homework, friend, family, shool and happy things so yeah.
1 likeAnd most of the time I get out of that phase by telling myself 'You're only 15 you can't be depressed already. Stop thinking about it.' and it works.
Lilly Incookieble I have kind of been feeling the same for the past 2 days. So I have a best friend and she has another friend. But she maybe likes that friend more than me and what makes it worse is that I have been "fighting" (not like physically but we always like the same people and she has this weird tone in her voice when I speak to her.) for the past 4 years and she always wins. She is like a better version of me. Yesterday I cried about it for like 15 minutes and then I just went on with the day but I can't stop thinking about this thing. I wrote my best friend a message but she didn't see it yet. It's so complicated and I really want to talk to the girl I've been fighting with and just talk all about this but it would probably be really awk and I'm afraid I'll cry and she'll laugh at me. I am also a very sensible and slow person and whenever they tell me I'm doing something wrong I always cry. It's so fucking awful to smile when inside I'm feeling bad. I tell myself I am ridiculous and over-reacting and a crybaby and then it gets worse. My mind always wonders and it goes from one thought to another really fast. I just feel awful inside not even because I'm doing the thing wrong but because I'm a childish crybaby.
1 likeI remember watching this two years ago as a thirteen year old who thought she was going through something really tough.
0 likesAnd now I actually am depressed trash
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Both are valid, love
0 likesI always come back to this video when I’m depressed
0 likesDo you think there is a connection between the changeable nature of human moods akin to weather systems?
0 likesI was diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder (MDD or Clinical Depression) and I totally get what you're going through. I've been taking anti-depressants for the last two years and yeah, they've helped a lot because at the time, I was stuck in a severe depression and was afraid I would never be myself again.
0 likesSometimes I have better days then others, some days I'm happy and positive but other days I'm insecure and hate myself for no good reason. And yes, this is depression. We have our good days and bad days.
I just want anyone to know that if you are suffering from depression/mental illness, you're not alone. I know at times it can be really hard and simple things may seem like the hardest things in the world but you have to keep pushing through it and remind yourself that what you're feeling at the moment isn't permanent. Be strong. It was really hard for me, being 14 at the time but I am now 16 and still going strong.
You are loved. Stay positive! ❤
Wow I feel this all the time didn't know it was depression tbh I didn't know what depression felt like
0 likesmy depression has been bad for the past few months and i relate to every single thing you're saying. damn.
0 likesmy depression got easier to live with since i dont fight against any emotion and put myself 1st and dont care bout someone not understanding me why I act the way I act
1 likeMy brain feels so heavy and tight at the moment. Something is just broken in my brain.
4 likesYou can put words to what I feel better than I can
0 likesI've just imagine you recording it, in a quiet place. the depression kicks in when you're too alone or too many person due to in need of attention. i dunno bruh, maybe eat something.. like a DONUT
1 like
0 likeswatching this cuz today I’m depressed yayyyhow have I only just found this videoEdit: also, she’s eating edamame beans whilst I’m sat here w/ a fistful of Reece’s pieces, who is as healthy as her when they’re depressed 😂
This makes me wanna stand up and get some snap peas but I know that they wouldn’t taste as good as they look
0 likesI'm rewatching this video because I am also depressed and eatin edamame beanz. I always come back to this video. I love u
1 likei’m struggling with the same thing. my videos have been about my journey & this video really helped me. 💕 if y’all wanna see stop by.
1 likeOMG THAAANKS!! I have severe depression, anxiety and BPD, and watching you coping so well makes me feel hope, I guess I will not kill myself this week, thanks for giving me a reason to wait a lil more days, maybe if I continue, therapy and medication will finaly help, don't know how to express how thankfull am I, can I send you a cute drawing? I don't even know in wich country you are, I don't even speak your language very well, but maybe one day day we met and I can buy you an icecream. Wanna be my new fp? (My BPD folks will relate ajjaja)
0 likesI relate to this, more than I kinda expected to? that's how it's like for me, I'm also extremely frustrated at myself. I get what you mean by the "working" and "nonworking" brain having no empathy for each other? it's a funny thing, but also sad. I too hate that it sucks the fun out of things and life is blurry and I feel as if I'm not properly living like I should be. what a waste! thank you for the relatable chat, remember you're not alone in this, similarly to how you make us feel (:
0 likesI've never found something so relatable :o
0 likesI relate to this video. Sometimes I can just have an absolutely shit day where my head doesn’t want to work and everyone around me is just like ‘cheer up! Don’t wallow in your sadness’ and I’m just like ‘I don’t want to do anything because I won’t get any feelings of it so I’ll just waste the day’ and it sucks when you’re 14 yk :/ oofffff
0 likesi feel you, dodie
0 likesliterally me everyday
2 likeswoah what you described is exactly how i feel sometimes
0 likesi never know when im depressed, if i ever actually been one
0 likesits frustrating not knowing where the root for all of your emotions are.
makes it harder to dissect it, probe at it, try to find a way around it.
I love this video. It helps me realise that I’m not the only one
0 likesThis just sounds like growing up. Childhood is vivid, adulthood is... dull
0 likesits been 4 months and ive been feeling like this (even worse) every second...
0 likesHmm im depressed everyday, its hard especially when you want to have fun but you cant.
58 likesReplies (3)
You and me both😖
0 likesIsaac Smith your beautiful and it’s gonna be ok
0 likesIsaac Smith not reallt depress like i want to have fun but people are judging for my actions but thats fine, because im mean-
1 like4:51 I've been depressed today so i tried to take a bath and treat myself with candles, a bath bomb and lavender oil . That's exactly how i felt. Just hot, bored and empty.
0 likesaw I can relate ,keep fighting ,just dont use drugs
0 likesWhen I’m depressed my chest feels heavy and my head feels empty, I can’t laugh or smile, or feel happy, but if there is something to be sad about, it consumes me and all I can do is cry. Usually I just lie and bed and be bored though.
477 likesReplies (3)
Those episodes can be anxiety or sadness, but don't confuse it with depression. Depression is way much more complex than feeling sadness for a moment. It's sucking up all the colour of life and leaving you empty. It's not like "Oh yeah yesterday I was so depressed"
10 likesLiv Is Lame me too
1 likeAnd then people try to cheer you up and you’re like 😫😖😩
0 likesSometimes my logic of the day doesn't triumph over my current lack of motivation
1 like3:55 omg i have literally the same problem and i struggle A LOT
1 likeI remember feeling absolutely hopeless. The sadness, the depression and the anxiety always came back, so why does the joy i feel now mean anything? I thought that feeling anything positive was pointless- id just be back down again in a little bit. (Spoiler alert, those thoughts brought me down quicker) I realized something though, sounds so obvious and insignificant, but this meant with a slight change of perspective, that the happiness comes back too. When i feel happy, i let myself enjoy it. I give myself permission to have it while it lasts. When im sad, i let myself experience it. The happy will come back, and i will be okay, just not right now. Sometimes i still struggle with looking at it like that, but theres a small part of me thats constantly there, loving that i have experienced hope, and waiting so patiently for me to feel it again.
0 likesThis was a little too soppy for my usual comments and not as well written as id like it to be but man its three in the morning and im really hungry so i think im actually gonna eat the cheetos i got earlier alright have a good whatever time youre in right now later 🌈
I'm the same way when I get this way with people. I usually sit there and stare at the floor or some shit like that till my best friend asks if I'm OK. He's the only one who ever notices.
0 likesdepression isn't just tough, it is like you are worthless and can't get out of bed and face the world. other than physically being able to make a cuppa or turn over in your bed, I'm ashamed to say I haven't showered for weeks when I'm in a depressive episode. I have derealisation and I am constantly in a state of daydreaming and people laugh and say I have my head in the clouds. but I don't want my head in the clouds, thanks for making this video dodie xoxo
0 likesDepression eats me alive right now
6 likesThe worst for me is when I can physically feel the bad mood. My chest gets all tight and painful, while my head feels totally empty. As you said, I have nothing. No emotions, good or bad. Just boredom and numbness and an achy chest that I can't seem to get rid of.
0 likesI love her accent
4 likesDamn this is relatable.
156 likesYou just took the words out of my mouth
0 likesEverything feels numb... I feel that. And the “everything is not going to be ok” I understand how that feels. I’m glad you understand that the happy you will soon come back❤️❤️
0 likesI always find myself coming back to this video
2 likesI’m writing my research paper on depression so I came back to this video
0 likesAfter going to countless therapy sessions, my therapist has concluded that I have depression and anxiety as well as body dysmorphia and maybe others. And honestly, after so many nights of sobbing in my bedroom, Dodie's videos are the only thing that keep me from committing suicide.
65 likesReplies (20)
Eliza Hamilton things will get better bbs, just keep breathing 💕
3 likesEliza Hamilton hello fellow Hamilton fan. Please don't kill your self. That would be really sad
8 likeswhat. are you serious...its ironic because for me videos made by people like this are a reason i feel upset.
0 likesif i told you i felt the same way appart from the only thing keeping me from you know what is dodies videos would you actually care.
0 likessad thing is for the record someone once told me they would smile and grin and i actually died. only because i asked him if he would even care if i died while he was so sad for a youtuber who died. and apparently i am supposed to just ignore that type of comment. even though no one will ever say they would care if i died.
0 likesPlease don't! You are an amazing person who deserves to live! You are SO MUCH more then you think and I want to help you in any way that I can! Things will get better and you CAN get though this! You might not think you can, but you can! Take life slow, one day at a time, and you will get though this!
0 likeswho are you talking too eliza or me.
0 likesBoth of you and anyone else who needs it! I have also gone through hard times in my life and Now that I am feeling better I want to try to help as many people as I can! You are both AMAZING PEOPLE!!
0 likesthank you what you are saying makes me feel a bit better right now :)
0 likesNo problem! If any of you ever need someone to talk to feel free to talk to me! We can talk back and forth here or you can pop over to my channel and comment there (you don't need to subscribe or anything) I am glad I am making you feel better!
1 likehey thanks i sent you a message :) on your channel :)
0 likesstay strong, you're loved by a universe of those who understand you
1 likeare you talking to me or to eliza.
0 likesDuck Puppet curious, what worked best for you?
0 likesyou'll get through it!!
0 likesStay alive, love <3
1 likewere you talking to me or eliza
1 likeEliza Hamilton please stay alive for my dog, he likes to meet people in the street
0 likesYay! I hope I can try to be that person who helps you get through the hard times! You are SO IMPORTANT and I hope you know that!
0 likesthank you like i said right now i feel like i could use someone to talk too right now.
0 likesI don’t even have to watch this video to say that this is my solid mood-
0 likesYou have the best attitude towards this feeling. You explain that you will feel it, you’re supposed to feel it, you’re supposed to be depressed, and that you’re not gonna fight it and just let it be the damn devil it is :) lol love u
4 likesthis video is my safe place
6 likesi dont even have a happy self except when im on drugs lol. thats me like 90% of the time
0 likesI just had one of this day. Generally I am a strong person and overpass everything but today was just..... messy and I was a wreck. You who read this might not belive me but just writing this brought me a bit of relief☺️.
0 likesIs actually what I feel. Really need to go to doctors.
0 likesThis is literally me all the time...
3 likes... that's probably bad
You can see the tears running down her face☹
2 likesThis came out on my birthday last year. Yup. I'm glad that I found this.
0 likesnote to anyone who doesn't have depression: you can't cheer a person in a depressive episode up. don't try, it just looks sadder than it is.
0 likesEverytime i feel depressed i watch this video
0 likesHealthiest MUKBANK ever!!
0 likesFEEEEEL THIS SO HARD. So hard to even try and look up when your alone ALLLLL THE TIME. Need some friends. "Like someone sucked out the fun"
0 likesWell at least you're positive about it. Heh
0 likesAlso I am eating frozen vagitables rn. They make me happy. I'm not very happy anyways but you make me happy because you're so positive and cheerfully.
My problem is i feel like this every single day
1 likeThere is nothing more beautiful than a woman who is in her "at home" look
0 likesI finally found the perfect and most vivid definition of depression. You are amazing, cheer up buttercup!
3 likesI just rewatched this and I can’t believe I never noticed the « not my chair not my problem » now that’s a THROWBACK
0 likesThis video is so relatable thank you so much
0 likesIt's crazy to me that people can be depressed a certain day, I've never experienced that. Depression for me is a constant thing, I don't have breaks, it doesn't choose days.
0 likesReplies (1)
I had a relapse this last month like 6 different days within the month?? Randomly. It is weird as you say. Because it is not constant so you have no idea if you should diagnose it as depression
0 likes...Exactly how life feels right now
2 likesIm so glad someone was able to put it into words
36 likesThat is the healthiest depression snack I’ve ever seen.
0 likesMy SSRI meds have helped me a lot but they gave me some bad affects at to high of a dose (I think 75 mg)
0 likesthis is how my depression works too, with the brain feels different thing
0 likesMy ex never understood what being depressed was like. He used to get mad at me and yell whenever I told him I’m depressed.
1 likeIt's how my anxiety is. It's always there but I'm not anxious all the time
0 likesi feel this 🤷🏻♀️
2 likesI wrote to my happy self and its basically like 2 different people. Funny thing is, happy me doesnt ever have the idea of writing to sad me.
1 likeI also make snacks aggressively when im in a low mood like just slightly slamming things onto the counter comes naturally and then I feel guilty afterwards and cue the self hatred
0 likeswhat a perfect timing, I'm also feeling down today so i feels good to know that I'm not alone
5 likesReplies (1)
btw i didnt said i was depressed cause i understand that depression is something way more complicated than just sadness
0 likesI feel the same exact way except I am not able to eat when I'm depressed 😭😭
0 likesi’m not sure what it is about eating fruit or veggies when it’s bad brain time but it’s so therapeutic. like hey i cannot do anything about my state right now but let’s eat some fruit shall we
1 likeHer voice = <3
0 likesHonestly same, sometimes sleeping and laying in bed makes time go faster
0 likesYou're eating healthy, when I'm feeling that way (I'm here right now because I'm feeling that way so I looked up whether I'm depressed because I'm worried about myself) I down an entire bag of Trader Joes' apple sticks in a few minutes.
0 likesAlso I would love to mindlessly watch videos on youtube, but I have work to do. I just feel really unmotivated and I had a large biology project due last week that I haven't even started.
That's how I feel everyday
0 likes“That’s why I get so hung up on the past. Because I felt it then but I don’t feel it now so I just want to go back to when I can feel again.” Never thought about it that way before, damn.
0 likesI feel ya.. My head feels stuck like... Its not working or dunno.. I started meds a week ago so i hope those will help somehow soon. Good luck with living!..
0 likesYour depression is different to my depression!
480 likesI have weeks were I go untouched by my depression then it hits me a brick wall!
My depression is sort of a I'm gunna die, I want to die, no one likes me, no one will care if I'm gone sort of thing... and then I cry and cry and cry...
Just food for thought
Replies (27)
Unnamed yep. Then I have to go and continue my day like I'm not actually dying inside
11 likesUnnamed IT MIGHT BE POISONED
5 likestwentyonephanics the stOMACH IN MY BRAIN
4 likesAira Aala throws up onto the page
4 likesUnnamed omg same literally most of the time I'll be fine and then suddenly everyyyyy intense depressing feeling is pushed together at once
2 likesUnnamed saaaaame
0 likesI'm a guy btw just showing that mental health affects men too! The stigma man up need to go
6 likes+Nour Al Rifaie does it bother anyone else that someone else has your name...
6 likesI'll care if you're gone.. it's horrible to think that someone gives their life away
5 likesSame. I just cry and cry and cry until my head feels like it's going to explode from all the negative thoughts
1 likethat's how I felt for the last few years, and then one day I woke up and felt like a completely different person, I felt like an empty shell. I'd much rather feel the pain I used to, and actually cry rather than feel how I feel now :/
3 likesOn another note: I would care if you were gone!
That is exactly what happens to me. It's like all of my insecurities come out and I start to think the same questions again and again like "Do my friends actually like me? Will I lose them for being such a mess? Why am I like this? Does eveyone think I'm lame? I can't even make a proper dinner I'm gonna fail in life" and I just feel very lonely and cry a lot
1 likeUnnamed S A M E
0 likesOhMyLucia this is my exact thoughts daily. Just constant worry and panic that no one likes me and I'm nobody's friend I'm just. There
1 likeUnnamed same
0 likesUnnamed that's called a extastenchal crises
0 likesurbestfriendrin that's not what an existential crisis is..
2 likesUnnamed mine was always a mixture of that kind and Dodie's. Sometimes I get relapses and usually when I do they're more like Dodie's depression but back when I was in the thick of it it was mostly like your depression. It gets better ok I hope you know that.
1 likeI get that sometimes too
0 likesTbh that sounds like Major Depressive Disorder. You can talk to your regular doctor about that, or see a specialist if thats within your means/what you prefer. Definitely tell someone (ANYONE) when you're in that place.
2 likes[I'm not a doctor, but I have a bachelors degree in psychology.]
Unnamed this happens to me too. It hits me in phases instead of on a daily basis. Where I will just feel completely numb to everything and not feel joy for a few weeks and then go back to being happy.
4 likesUnnamed yes! There's different kinds of depression
0 likesYou as same as me, but the lastest depression that i got this morning (timezone) was weird, cause in the morning before i went out the class, my friend asked me gave her my paper work (she's not mean, she's nice), she wanted to copy because last extra class, she wasn't there. So in the evening, i forgot, i took a nap until 5:00pm (that's when my extra class start) and yeah, my dad told me to relax at home (we're late). So i took a bath, text my friend to appologise her and until 6:00pm, my depression hit me like you did something really bad, you lost her trust, you liar,...
0 likesSo I *cough" hurt myself. I have my mood back after play game with friends in the second extra class but it doesn't go away.
(Sorry, it's too long)
Just because i broke a promise and it leads to depression
0 likesYeah me too
0 likesSAME
0 likesUnnamed I'm the exact same way and I always get so scared that it's not actually depression and I keep getting told by people that it's not for the sole fact that mine works where there's nothing for a few hours or days or a week, then it hits me like a fucking truck out of absolutely nowhere. People just push it off as me being sad or something, but people who have ever felt the two, know the difference.
1 likePets help depression. Trying to laugh as much as you can. Comedies with family. Looking up your family tree history, doing things that are a part of your heritage, ancestry...like making a recipes your ancestors probably made. Counting your blessings. Thinking stuff like, "Well, at least I have two feet. Some people only have one or none." helps. & Music helps, too. This is my list that cheers me up, toughens me up. I'm actually learning to walk again after a car accident has had me down for months. So, I listen to this while I practice. @t ....& There's these you tube nature sound videos with a lot of birds singing, those help cheer me up. Getting out to where there's lots of trees and birds, less people. Here's life lines: @t
0 likesUgh god some days I just don’t want to do anything but everything and I just wanna cry but there are no tears and I feel hopeless and afraid I’ll never be loved or happy again, but this video let’s me know I’m never alone, and so do you. I love you and thank you for all you do and continue to do.
0 likesI literally related to everything you said in this video haha
0 likesThank You for this vid. I'm feeling unmovable today..
0 likeslol when i get depressed i just sit. eat. and then contemplate life. then i tell myself how bad of a person i am. how everyone is perfect except me. then, the next day, i look into the mirror. i look into the mirror and i let them free. i let all the tears i had been holding in the day before roll down my face. crying into the sink with my head held down low in disappointment in myself because i am not perfect. then, when i am ready, i look up at myself and think; "you are not perfect. that is who you are. you are awesome, and you are you. in the end, that all you get. so cherish it. you are amazing and while everyone else is busy being perfect, you will be busy being your awesome, kind self." then i do the most amzing thing. i smile. i say to myself; "she is beautiful. she is me."
541 likesReplies (7)
Im crying, this is so beautiful
14 likesBaconater 28 thank you!
2 likesBaconater 28 THIS IS BEAUTIFUL OMG
1 likei've never related more. sometimes im like "am i depressed or am i just sad today?" but i do have depression. No matter how "happy" i am one day that sadness will still always be there
5 likesThis is really beautiful but I would just like to remind you that other people are not perfect. I know how easy it can be for us to forget that the things we feel and the problems we go through, those around us go through them too. They just hide it. Just like we hide our problems from them, afraid of being judged, afraid of what they may think. I would just like for you to remember that you are really not alone. The people around you might not be going through the same stuff as you are but they have their issues too. The people who you consider perfect are probably also thinking ‘oh I’m so awful and I’m a terrible person and everyone hates me and I wish I was like her’. Get what I mean?? While you’re thinking about how everyone else is so much better than you I can guarantee you that lots of them are thinking about how everyone else is so much better than them.
4 likesBaconater 28 But im not awesome, i am fat, fat and nothing else.
0 likesBaconater 28 I will try that the next time I get depressed
0 likesI feel like I’m having energy drained out of me by every situation and even thoughts about doing simple things exhaust me. Without having the Energy to do anything, I feel worthless and weak and that’s the cycle I have to break out of somehow. Kratom helped with energy and anxiety but I don’t want to be dependent upon anything forever. I want to naturally feel stable.
0 likesWatching this while I've spent the hole day in bed cuz I was to pathetic to get dressed or leave... CAN REALTE.
0 likesI like the lighting it looks calm :)
0 likesMy working mind and my not working mind are completely different and have no empathy for each other .....wow , that hit my soul
0 likesSometimes you just wake up and feel like poo because that's what your brain has decided to do
329 likesReplies (15)
Shloka Frank you should make that a song
1 likeDown by Dodie Clark 😉❤️
6 likesSpooky Scary Skeletons that's actually what dodie said in one of her video's (down)
1 likeShloka Frank oh, i havent listened to down yet sorry
1 likeSpooky Scary Skeletons there's nothing to be sorry about 🤗
0 likesShloka Frank omg i was thinking of that too
3 likeshanna ;)
0 likeswhy am I rhyming
5 likesJoëlle Weetjewel I was waiting for someone to comment that
0 likesShloka Frank literally me two days ago. I've been pushing it away and everyone around me, including YHIS VIDEO is just showing me signs that I really need to just let myself be. The problem is with my current circumstances in being grounded that isn't possible and anything try to do while grounded just isn't enough, I feel like I just need a day to be able to do what I want my way how I used to before I got grounded, because without that routine, my life is a stressful mess and it's affecting my depression a LOT. Literally just I'm not able to any,ore. And everyone is telling me I need to just listen to my emotions and IM NOT LETTING MYSELF AND NEITHER ARE MY PARENTS
0 likesaye dpppp hai fandom
0 likeslaian munther ✋🏻
0 likesShloka Frank that's exactly what I was thinking when she began that statement :)
5 likes+Alex Lester (Alex) Damn, for how long have you been grounded?
0 likesahhhhhhh!!! throwback loll
0 likesI almost always feel unmotivated to do anything so I guess I'm either really lazy or depressed cause I'm kinda feeling down
0 likesI feel this everyday :/
0 likesOhhhhhhh dodie I’m sorry that you are depressed ❤️❤️
0 likesI wanna get
3 likes“Nice to meet you, I’m depressed” and then a semicolon under it tattooed on my arm
Dear Dodie,
5 likesI've suffered with mental illnesses my entire life. When I was five years old I started to experience auditory and visual hallucinations that haunted me even in my dreams. As I grew, my symptoms became worse. I started to feel outside of my body, watching my life slip past me-Food tasted gray, the world seemed dull and out of focus, words became white noise. My depression festered in my chest to where I physically felt a whole there, something that couldn't be filled. I didn't tell anyone for years, tried to keep it inside and not burden anyone with it, but when I started self harming at the age of ten, I finally told my grandparents and they got me help almost immediately.
I was in and out of hospitals for years, constantly having scans of my brain and needles poking into my skin. I became a "mystery case" to most of the doctors that worked with me. I felt so alone. I had no friends (Besides my best friend who had stayed with me since the age of eight) because no one wanted to deal with my constant depression and anxiety. My family, excluding my grandparents and mother, weren't much of a help; most of them were addicted to dangerous drugs and alcohol and fought with each other constantly. Books and writing were my only companions. I found solace within the words written between the pages, and the words that I wrote down on paper.
Doctors were keen on figuring me out, diagnosing me with one thing after another until eventually there was a big stamp on my file that read, Mentally Disabled. For the next five and a half years, I was given almost every medication they could possible give me. When I was close to my sixteenth birthday they were nearly out of options. They told my grandma that eventually treating me would be pointless. And then they put me on a medication that changed my life.
It took about a month, but suddenly the world cleared. I was in the car with my grandma, passing old country roads that I had seen thousands of times before, and out of nowhere, I could see. The houses were colorful and the sun blinded me with it's brightness and the grass looked so green. I began to sob uncontrollably. I could see and I could feel my own skin and I was in my body, a REAL person living in a REAL world. After that, the whole in my chest began to feel with real laughter and happiness and colors. It was magical.
Sixteen years after living with bipolar disorder, psychosis, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, and OCD, I was a real person. I've written two novels and I'm currently getting them published, I have a girlfriend of whom I'm falling hopelessly in love with, my best friend is still my best friend and soul mate, and although my life is chaotic and weird, I'm happy.
The reason for this message is to tell you that it DOES get better. It might take a while to find the right medication or to find what helps you the most, but Dodie, I promise it gets better. Don't give up. Keep your friends and family close, and never feel bad for your illnesses. You are a beautiful, wonderful person and you deserve happiness.
Love,
The girl who believes in you.
I seen this video, now I don’t feel so alone.
1 likeHey I get nostalgic bc of my depression sometimes too 👍
0 likes"...al...right? Let's get you a blood test??"
10 likesI didn't know this was a generic response but they told me the exact same thing omg
when i’m depressed i cant leave my bed or shower for many days.
4 likesi am insanely lucky to say that i don't struggle with depression or anxiety or any of that, and while i do have my own unrelated issues, as every human does, i hope that anytime this happens to anyone it can end quickly because it doesn't seem very pleasant at all, and that of course it will happen and you can't stop it, you can at least wait it out, because the next day is always better than the one before. stay beautiful you random people :)
37 likesi relate to this so much
0 likesYa sure it ain't just a mix between melancholy and sadness?
0 likesi feel like this most of the time...
2 likesI’m not mad at you I am mad at myself. I need that on my forehead
2 likesARE THOSE TEAR STREAKS ON YOUR FACE, DODIE?!?!?!? :'(
445 likesReplies (37)
Milagros Ceja yeah...
46 likesEliza Pancakes hi Eliza
10 likesDon't feed into her self-wallowing. That's what she wants.
9 likes^don't feed into their negativity. they just want attention
99 likesIf I wanted attention, I would make mopey videos and post them on YouTube. It's sad that you fall for this stuff.
3 likesRose Vasquez Hi Rose, funny, you're named as my least favorite flower (I just think that a rose is a cliché flower). Anyways, I was diagnosed with depression when I was 19, and some days are great, and others are absolute shit. I understand everything that she is saying, and it honestly makes me feel like I'm not alone, that someone like Dodie knows what it's like. So much for a "mopey" video.
53 likesYou're over 19? I imagined a 12 year old after reading that first sentence. Anyway, has it ever occurred to you that everyone (not just you) has both great and terrible days. It's called part of life, not some special condition. Everyone has ups and downs, so suck it up and learn to deal with life. You're not special.
0 likesMy main problem with her is that she doesn't seek solutions. She simply wallows--a huge giveaway that she's in it for attention, not a cure. And how convenient that she has a bundle of other problems and personality deviations. Think about it. Not only is she depressed but she's bi, anxious, depersonalized, detached, insecure, allegedly "going blind" in one video. Next she's going to have cancer. Whatever gets attention and feeds into her deep-seated belief that she's special.
4 likesRose Vasquez most of those things are heavily interlinked. Depression is usually paired with anxiety, it's the most popular next to manic depression. Bisexuality is completely separated.
40 likesRose Vasquez Terrible days? More like years. I just love trying explain depression to people, it's just great! Depression just feels like falling, just falling into nothingness, to the point where the sorrow and the pain is just numb. So numb that if you could just fade away you wouldn't feel a thing, just peace and quiet. So yeah, I guess you could say that I have had many terrible days.
29 likesI don't want to be another person ganging up on you, but I have something else to add that hasn't been addressed. She talks very directly in the video about how she is reminding herself that things will get better and she tried all of those things like going outside etc, but it's a chemical thing and there's really not much you can do but hang on and ride it out. This was just one video where she portrayed herself in a very low-functioning state but almost all of her other videos about depression are optimistic and about actively seeking solutions.
29 likesAww I SEE THEM ;-;
6 likesRose Vasquez 'everyone has ups and downs', are you kidding me? It's a medically diagnosed disorder cause by a chemical imbalance in the brain. People don't have depression for attention, unfortunately you can't escape it, sometimes you want to reach out on a platform where u feel supported.
48 likesHeather Marie Exactly, thank you.
6 likesIt's her hair
4 likesYou. LITERALLY. have NO idea. Give me strength.
22 likesSometimes wallowing in it IS the quickest cure, otherwise the feelings are just suppressed and bottled up for later.
Sometimes reaching out for attention IS a solution - attention in the most basic 'I want you to know I'm struggling and need help' sense, not an egotistical one.
'Anxious, depersonalised, detached, insecure' - pretty much all part and parcel of depression.
'Bi' - not exactly an inherent problem, but perhaps in her experience it's been a difficult journey figuring it all out amongst her mental health problems. Understandable really.
'Cancer' ... WHAT??? Such a massive, tangential leap. But oooh yes, such a CONVENIENT illness! Honestly, get a grip.
Rose Vasquez you say she is not seeking solutions when she was getting therapy and was recently trying antidepressants. Mkay.
18 likesChloee Xx she has mascara streaks if you look closely
1 likeRose Vasquez she clearly not looking for cure for her depression. Cause it's not like she making videos to help her feel better about her self or talking directly to the camera to give her self more confidence. It's so clear that she not doing this to help cure her depression. And depression is so not a condition where you feel depressed 5 times more then normal people are easy put into the mode or can suffer great mental damage from it if you don't address it and stay in the state for too long .
3 likesRose Vasquez What's wrong with her wanting to let out all the shit she's been feeling? When you're depressed, attention is what most people want, because at that moment, they feel like they mean nothing at all. They doubt themselves often, but of course, you wouldn't understand because you've never experienced it.
7 likesRose Vasquez You obviously don't watch her snapchats because she's always seeking help and with small changes (she got therapy, pills, YouTube etc) she gets better. The bad days get better there are less bad days
5 likesBut of course she's just seeking attention for her medically diagnosed depression
Rose Vasquez she's gone to counsellors and therapists. When that doesn't work she uses making videos as her therapy and in extent it gives people (including me) who experience the same illnesses as her a place to go and just be without having to worry and feel as bad as usual.
5 likesThe difference between sadness and depression (for me not everyone) is that sadness comes and goes and depression is there. It's a looming figure that is always there and is worse from time to time. Depression is heaviness and hopelessness. Depression is ruthless and merciless.
Please, next time you feel annoyed by people talking about their mental health issues , keep your thoughts to yourself and/or research about what they're saying.
Rose Vasquez chemical depression isn't just a bad day, it's where your brain simply isn't functioning properly due to chemical imbalances that cause mood changes. as well as this, it can link with anxiety leading to fear the oneself is sick in many other ways also. idk if it's been medically proven but typically people don't just have one mental illness but rather a few that go hand in hand (e.g. anxiety and depression, or manic depression etc) for example i myself struggle with depression (and other things), i also suffer from severe joint pain. i am working with my team to find out if the two are linked (it's not unknown for mental illness to link to or lead to other physical illnesses) but depression sure as hell makes the physical pain worse. so no she's not just clutching at diagnoses and claiming unnecessarily that she has a million and one different problems, because in actuality many of these problems (which i am positive she is aware of) can be linked and feed off one another. depression also can effect people differently, and the same person differently on different days. for example it is clear that 'venting' and reaching out to her audience is clearly a quick-working release and form of therapy for dodie. however for others that may not be the case. depression and anxiety can make a person feel unwanted and insecure, and pining for attention can be a key symptom of both. so her 'wallowing' isn't really her, but a factor and symptom of mental ill health. plus if you actually paid any attention (even in this video when she said she was having bloods done and had a referral to a clinic) then it's pretty darn clear she's reaching for help and solutions- which can sometimes be difficult with the NHS.
6 likesRose Vasquez also being bi had nothing to do with this - being closeted can lead to illhealth due to isolation and it being generally a difficult time in someone's life, but this simply isn't the case right now. also you have failed to see the links between the symptoms you stated. anxiety and depression typically go hand in hand. being depersonalised and detached is also a symptom of severe depression. insecurity stems from anxiety. as for 'going blind' that can be linked to both as the fear part is anxiety-based as it is common to fear ones health and wellbeing with anxiety; but can also link to depression as depression can lead one to believe that the body is 'shutting down' and can create physical symptoms that there is a physical condition. please read before making ill educated comments.
5 likesRose Vasquez everyone has good and bad days, but not everyone has depression. Depression is waaaaaay different from having a bad day. I've never had depression, thankfully, but at least I try to understand it. It's not something you can control. Literally nothing can cheer you up. Happiness is essentially nonexistent, I suppose you could say. There's nothing that gives you fulfillment. You feel there's no point to anything. Its different from when someone wants to be over dramatic and say "I wanna kill myself" when a minor inconvenience gets them down. Those people could still have aspirations and things to look forward to, whereas when you're depressed, there's nothing to look forward to. Once again, depression is uncontrollable. It's an actual disorder, and people like you saying shit like this are the reason nobody talks about it and people commit suicide. If we stopped treating depression like a joke and thinking that depressed people just want attention, we could help so many more people and even save their lives.
4 likesRose Vasquez are you aware that everything you feel is chemical? If certain chemicals in the brain are missing, you feel like this. It's not in your control. That's clinical depression. And any kind of depression shrinks parts in your brain and physical effects. Since you're one of those people that need to see it physically with your eyes to understand something, this is for you. Having a "bad day" is completely different from having depression.
2 likesRose Vasquez Omg I agree with every word. She is literally playing a sweet vulnerable gentle tumblr girl who is easily damaged and uses every mental condition which is easy enough to claim to have. Finally somebody gets it.
0 likesCelestial Demon You don't know what hate speech is, and also, I don't take any messages typed in all lower case seriously because it looks disgusting :-)
0 likesMidnight Misfit Love you too baby girl xoxo or are you non binary? Probs xoxo
0 likesjackie those are tear streaks dude
1 likeDid you not read the title of the video
1 likeThey want attention and that's exactly what you're giving them. Just stop already.
2 likesTasty pørk cutlet bøwl My pronouns are she/her thanks.
0 likesRose Vasquez I think you just don't understand because you've never experienced it before. You think it's just a simpler thing because you've never felt as shit as depressed people do. You have to keep this in mind, don't just say really negative and mean things when you don't even know what you're talking about. :/
0 likesI almost think they are, but they might be the shadows of her hair on her face.
0 likesRose Vasquez wow, who hurt you
1 likeRose Vasquez she's just vlogging??
0 likesMy anger therapist diagnosed me with high-functioning depression. Great.
0 likesWhen I’m depressed it just feels like nothing, like I don’t matter and everything I usually love is meaningless. It sucks so much
0 likesI find it so fucked up that ‘being a teenager’ and having depression is regarded as the same thing.
0 likesI have this feeling all the time
0 likesSome days you just wake up and you feel like poo
1195 likesCause that is what your brain has decided to do
(Anybody got the reference?)
Replies (13)
agirlhasnoname 14 Yes! I love that song
4 likeswhat's the reference from...?
3 likeschrissy hates toast. a video on a channel, i think from the beginning of her song "downer"
3 likesD O W N
3 likesBarack Omerkel it's down, but you almost got it😊
1 likeWhy am I rhyming?
12 likesagirlhasnoname 14 that song makes me feel understood, most of dodie's songs do.
1 likeY e s
0 likesD
1 likeO
W
N
Down
0 likesYESS DOWN
0 likesSing it to the friends theme tune
0 likesEEEEEY
1 like"My working head and my not working head don't have sympathy for each other at all." Ouch, I felt that. 😔
0 likesWhen i am depressed my chest is in pain
0 likesI have so many things in my head about me
That i am the worse
Tha everything is my fault
Etc
Sometimes i hurt myself
Or cry
Or i am trying to not cry
Today i said
I am going outside
And do something
Maybe do exercises
Or anything
Ride on skateboard
But
Right niw i am in bed
Painting
But i have a break
And i am watching your video
i relate a lot to this
0 likesOne time I felt like shit and my mom wanted to cheer me up by taking me to an event in a park nearby, I appreciate her trying but I really just wanted to lay in bed all day instead.
0 likesWow. I have never related to someone this much. I thought I was alone, ha. Guess not 🙃
2 likesThe sad part is when I guilt trip myself for feeling unhappy :< It's never ending
0 likesI’m watching this
3 likes2019 to feel something
My ex friends birthday is tomorrow and it feel like a knife is cutting my soul
And I feel guilty I don’t wanna go to school tomorrow
this is just too relatable
0 likesWhat!!! I'm chronically ill and what Dodie talks about with two minds, one good and one bad is true for me too. I see myself in all this so much it's scary. And my mind is healthier than my body at least
3 likes4:16 I feel you 💔
0 likeswoah this is how i feel 24/7
0 likesI just wanna eat green beans and drink tea with you
0 likesIf there is just one Video I could save from YouTube...this would it be!thank you sooo much!!
0 likesi love watching your videos. but sometimes these videos make me start thinking about how i'm feeling and then i check weather i'm okay. and then i discover taht i'm not okay. than i get sad
134 likesReplies (9)
noot noot I'm sorry :/ it'll get better soon love. God bless you ❤ l-/ also I love your profile picture xD
2 likeswheeeeep! don't watch. these vids are mostly for me, to document how I'm feeling. Life is wonderful. Please go make urself a microwave cupcake, or open and window and breathe in the fresh air. Luv u <3
61 likesdoddlevloggle honestly. your reply has made me so happy and made me forget about anything i was feeling. thank you so much. love you ❤
5 likesdoddlevloggle you're so sweet. hope things start to get better. ❤
1 likedoddlevloggle you're so wonderful
2 likesdoddlevloggle thankyou
0 likesnoot noot I'm not ok (I promise)
6 likesI really hope someone gets thisAesthetically Blue saaame. killjoys everywhere
1 likeAesthetically Blue I GET IT DADDY
0 likesI love this girl. she said my brain.
0 likesWhen I’m depressed I just feel so exhausted and some what empty, like I could literally stare off into space and stay like that for hours. And sometimes I’ll feel like crying but I just won’t be able to ya know..
0 likesWhen it's chemical it's like:
0 likes"My joy is silent. She has been silenced. She's in a coma and can't wake up no matter what. The lighting in my heart changes to a kitchen in the evening when the lights are off, its just about dimming and I'm in my heart's kitchen, missing joy and my contentedness because they are not in my little mind house. Everything has a sleepy blue lighting ."
you desc. of depression matched how i feel often so yeah i think im gonna talk to a therapist about that
0 likesLove ya dodes 💕
55 likesReplies (1)
Don't worry about anything. There's only one way to go when you hit the very bottom. Up. Don't give up yet.
17 likesI love these videos and I love you!!!!
0 likesThis is how i feel like today :'(
0 likesDepression feels like you're a dead husk that's still able to walk around.
0 likesi hate it when people say i feel depressed today or some rubbish like that, depression does not come and go you don’t just ‘wake up depressed’ depression stays there. i understand you’re trying to spread awareness but this isn’t the right way.
2 likesDoes anyone ever feel so sad and heavy that it physically hurts. Like a balloon covered in nails expanding in your chest :/
1 likeI’m watching this thinking about how I tell my mom that I am depressed but I now realize that she probably has a different meaning of depressed than what I mean like we’re not on the same page
0 likesI feel empty every day and I don't know what to do about it...
0 likesjuST- aH. the hair is beautiful. yes. 10/10
4 likesSometimes I have an on and off phase of depression like anxiety, my chest feels heavy and my mind just repeats realistically deceiving thoughts until I fully persuade myself for them to be true and when depression starts I just stay quiet with no words to express so I just small talk whenever someone mentiones me. But I am now taking these St Johns wort pills that slowly but I think surely work and I slightly feel better and feel I can still do fun and fulfilling activities.
0 likesthat's actually rather comforting...I mean I hate when I'm being in that state....but I hate even more that I hate myself for questioning if it's even real >.> because sometimes it just shows up as unbelievable boredom, no satisfaction, no enjoyment in anything, nothing is good enough and everything is irritating....and the hopelessness is more about "I hate this, I don't want this, how can I ever get out of this?is this gonna be my life forever?"....well....so....watching your video, made me atleast feel like there is a spark of hope somewhere, that this might pass and that it's not just me....well...not that it's great that someone else has it...but...maybe you know what I mean....
0 likesnot in a good place here right now...so hello there!
This is a good video to watch before turning off your device and going to sleep at 2AM
1 likeReplies (1)
I did that, but at 2AM procrastinating about an assignment that was due the next day. That was when I first watched this.
1 likeI relate I like do the same thing when I get in my depressive episodes
0 likesThis is so real. Thanks for sharing
0 likesMost relatable thing I've ever seen
0 likesEverything from 1:52 - 2:50 Sooooo relatable damnit agghh
0 likesAnd 3:13 - I literally do this. That watching a TV show thing and just stopping because you can't keep it up anymore. And then I would avoid the things that would normally bring me joy because I don't want to taint it with my shitty mood
SSRI's made me feel okay but not happy. I didn't feel depressed but I didn't feel happy. And then once I quit the withdrawals were so so so bad
0 likes"I have to be kind to myself " For some reason, this helps me feel so much better.
28 likesI love Edamame and tea!!! Let's be best friends!!!
0 likesI hope she's okay today
0 likesCurrently, I don't know how I feel. It's so weird. The last days I was unusually tired and felt kind of... normal? That should be good, but after I didn't obsess over everything the alternative turned out to be indifference. I just don't know. I feel like I could be so much more productive without my usual lack of focus holding me back, but then I don't want to do anything. Usually I always feel under pressure and my problems with executive function just turn that into guilt instead of productivity and I don't enjoy stuff because it will be in the back of my mind. But now, I am just tired. Like, physically tired and weak. I tried putting my symptoms into an app that usually works really well diagnosing things like deficiency which will later be confirmed by a doctor, and the only thing it came up with was bipolar disorder. I just don't know. I will just have to go on, surprisingly meeting more friends then usual, doing more and being better without actually being there or feeling happy about. Now I made myself cry. I don't want to go back to constantly being told to do stuff. I need a break. I just have no clue what kind.
0 likesJesus our Lord and savior loves you. He is always there for you. You can tell him anything. He can take your pain. There is hope in Jesus. In his words called the Holy Bible has amazing things in it that will bring joy. And healing. Phillippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
0 likesPeace be with you.
We love you friend.
God bless you.
Okay yeah I get why people are pissed about people 'self diagnosing' themselves but think about it, how else do you know to get help if you don't think you're depressed? I look at it as people who are confused and reaching out for help, rather than people disrespecting or trying to downplay serious mental illnesses. Everyone's thoughts about themselves are valid ❤
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Yeah. It pisses me off when people say that it just causes more problems when you self-diagnose. Of course no one should just type in, "What do headaches mean," on Google, but you know when your body isn't functioning right. If you keep thinking that something's wrong when it's not, then you have confirmed that you have a disorder that makes you feel like something is off all of the time.
7 likesGeorgia Neill I totally get what you're saying and I agree that everyone's feelings are valid and that depression isn't something to be taken lightly, but I have met quite a few people who will jump at the chance to tell me that they're 'sad sometimes' or that they 'probably have mild depression because they feel sad a lot' because they see the sympathy that people who actually have depression get and want to jump on that wagon. The sad thing is, the people who want to feel special in that respect make everyone think that every kid who claims to have depression is lying. I just get frustrated when people try to call more attention to themselves through a means that shouldn't be used that way. All of that said, I would never disregard anyone's feelings if I don't know them personally. It's not my business to diagnose people I don't know.
5 likesLiterally. My first step in being diagnosed was telling the doctor "I think I'm depressed". How else do you really get a 'formal' diagnosis?
2 likesMkkio Harts is this directed at me or in general?
0 likesThis video mad me cry with laughter and then with sadness
12 likesBut I too love edamame
my depression, is a bit weird, i feel like im in a black dark room, i feel like im dreaming, it's like everlasting silence, even when my family is laughing loud and screaming, i hear nothing. i went to a therapist, and nothing helped, my therapist did NOT understand what MY depression was. She thought it was a phase, and i told her it wasn't she brushed it off like i was just a sad 11 year old, (im 14 now) and i ended up not going anymore. but being sad, is way different from being depressed, definition of sadness is feeling or showing sorrow, depressed is in a state of general unappiness.
1 like4:31 - 4:36 words i live by smh so trueeee
1 likeThis is like literally my mind !!
0 likesI kinda relate to this, 'cause everyday I can do things and fake happiness but I still feel like shit all the time and no, happy is not a choice, "fake it till you make it" doesn' t work when you are depressed, every single one of this statement is bullshit.
46 likesNow I'm in a phase where I get very sad and spaced out almost everyday, then I feel so fucking angry about this because I should be happy, then I cry because of anger and I want to beat the shit out of people and destroy everything with a baseball bat. After this moments of rage I just cry because I disappointed myself and everyone around me and I usually cry myself to sleep while listening to the tv mumbling things that I can't understand cause I don't feel real at all.
It's shit. It's just shitty. I woke up and had a panick attack today for no fucking reason at all. It's a huge pile of shit.
Replies (7)
Cris Writer I'm so sorry you have to go through this. its awful, I'm going through it myself. but please hold on. if you're looking for a sign that you should stay, this is it. I know you can get through. it won't always be like this.
0 likes@Kermit Manson it has been like this for the past five years of my life, nothing changed, I still feel so bad about everything. I don't know how to fix me. I don't even think that I can actually be fixed, parts of me will always be broken.
0 likesI won't kill myself anyway: funerals cost way to much and my family can't afford it, so yeah. Still thinking about the well being of everyone over mine. Good job me.
((I'm sorry for venting to you like this, it has been a really shitty day and I don't have a lot of people to talk about it around me))
Cris Writer I relate :/
1 likeCris Writer sorry for the late reply. listen. not everyday over the past five years have been bad. what I do everyday, no matter how shitty I think the day was, I count 5 things that were good about the day, and 3 things that weren't. days aren't good and bad. they're just days. I'm proud of you for getting through these past five years. I'm sure it was awful at parts. but I still believe you can do it. things will change, but only if you have the courage to let them. sometimes as humans we get comfortable in our sadness and are wary to leave, seems stupid but its true. so break out of your comfort zone
1 likeKermit Manson Today I feel a little bit better. I do try positive thinking, I did that "count things that were good today" for a long period of time, but I am so frustrated with my brain. I want it to work, I just want everything to work normally. Not even be happy, because I know that nobody can be always happy, but just normal. After five years I'm kinda just losing hope in everything.
0 likesBut I am still trying. I will always try my best to be stable and a little productive every day.
Cris Writer I'm so proud of you <3 I know how hard it is, I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, and psychosis for 4 years now, so I do know its like super shitty. you're doing well. you're doing amazing. normal doesn't exist. so dont stress about that anyway
3 likesDon't know if this will help but try to escape into anther world, by reading books, watching anime, tv shows etcetera etcetera. It worked for me but i don't know if it would help for you. Hope you get better soon
1 likeSome days I feel so heavy and my bones feel cold and I can’t get warm and when I’m around people or trying to live my life it’s like I’m a little tiny pebble swimming in my body and I’m trying real hard to get up to the surface and peak out of my eyes and see the world and see what’s happening if that makes sense.
0 likesWhen you have a chance to be still. Silently, intentionally, ask God to say something to you.
0 likesWtf this is my life for years. I thought everything is "normal" I mean i dont even know it any other way. I dont want to have a depression....
0 likesMy advice is:
0 likesLet it go, and hold on to that feeling.
I used to be depressed, I'm better now, but once in a while I'll have a bad day and on those days I can relate to this so much
5 likeslove you dodie♡
hope you're feeling okay again ♡♡
I understand this soooo much.
2 likesThats how im feeling right now. Its funny, just about a month ago i was as happy as ever, but every time the new year comes, i always get depressed. Every summer i get depressed. Why is it always that time? Summer and the end of the year. Is it because everyones out having a good time being happy while im stuck at home? I guess. I think i might have Seasonal affective disorder, which is a mood disorder characterized by depression that occurs at the same time every year. Its common, so i wouldnt doubt that i have it. I hate it. Its like all the life and spark was sucked out of me. Especially being around my friends at school who are always so happy and cheerful, they always know if something is wrong with me if im not my loud cheerful self lol. It takes so much of my energy and im constantly tired. Its like One moment i can think wow i actually feel good, and them seconds later im depressed all over again. I just wanna stay in bed all day. Cause whats the point? Its not like I'm doing anything. I dont have plans. So whats the point? Im just sad. I don't know why. I just am and i cant explain it. Of course it definitely isnt as bad as last year. Man, it nearly tore me and my dads relationship apart. But i know hes always there for me. He's all i really have tbh. But yeah, if any of you guys feel the same way then atleast im not alone 😂
1 likeJust don't get into regular drinking. That's when depression can really take you down.
0 likesMe since the start of summer and I've stopped seeing my school friends. One day during the school year I went home and wasn't depressed for the first time in a long time and I cried about this girl I've fallen in love with and I still felt happy in some way because I wasn't depressed. Still sad as fuck but just not depressed. I just keep going back and editing and adding on to this. I also have ADHD so things already don't stimulate me as much as they should and with depression it makes me want to not move and to just sleep and be unconscious for a while because maybe when I wake up everything will be better. Don't really know how I'm feeling today. I think I'm in the middle. I think I'm depressed but I feel understood so it's not as bad.
0 likesWhile I was scrolling through the comments I noticed a lot of people that aggreed with dodie and were like "yup I am depressed, too". And I am not saying you're wrong because I don't know you and cannot judge you, but what I do think is that especially because young teenagers have access to all that information about mental illnesses in the internet without already being fully developed many of them develop a habit of thinking themselves into something until they really are affected by their thinking patterns.
5 likesI am studying psychology and neuroscience (this doesn't make me a proffessional though) and guys, depression is not "today I feel depressed, tomorrow it's better". These are bad moods or depressive episodes. They are not nice, that is true, but they are not depression, and you better be glad you don't have to suffer from it. There is a dangerous romanticizing of mental illnesses going on - like you are not special, authentic, beautiful enough if you're not somehow mentally damaged.
But mental illnesses are not cool, or nice, or like a necklace you put on to decorate yourself. Like dodie described, mental illnesses can be very physical and sometimes, depression can't be healed. Sometimes, doctors and psychologists stand there with nothing in their hands anymore, because the brain is too complex and unexplored and they can't go further with you. They don't have any treatments anymore.
Depression differs from person to person but mostly it is a state of not eating, because food disgusts you, of seriously losing weight, of not sleeping or sleeping too much, but not because you are lazy or tired, but because you can't stand the daylight and nothing brings you joy anymore, and sleeping is similar to being dead. You don't go on Youtube, you don't watch series or TV, you're not even on the internet, because nothing interests you, you don't find the energy to do basically anything, not even the things you actually love, everything irritates you, makes you angry and sad, even if there is only a tiny thing standing in your way. This is depression, and it goes on for weeks and weeks and months and for some people for years or their whole life. Not for days. Depression doesn't go on holidays and comes back. Bad moods or Depressive episodes do.
I have ambivalent feelings about dodie making a video about her being depressed, which involves making a plan, actually filming yourself talking about what is going on, then editing and uploading it. Like I said, I can't judge her because I don't know her and I am sure she has mental problems (especially with dissociation, I found her decription very authentic) and it is also not my business. She makes her inner life public though so this involves people having opinions about it. And I don't know ... the depression I had didn't allow me to have any idea for anything, let alone realizing an idea. And I am a creative person.
But she can do whatever she wants to and I hope she will get better soon.
I'm a freshman at college. I moved here in a city miles away from home. The first month of college was ok i guess. I still had the motivation to study new stuff and meet new people. I enjoyed going to class. I reviewed for the exams and i pass all requirements. But then something happed and just like that, i woke up one morning to a feeling of nothing. I didn't felt anything. I went to school and avoided everyone. I didnt pay attention to lectures. A week passed and i'm still not ok. My friends are getting worried and i told them i'm ok and that i dont have a problem with them. I told them it's me. Exam week came and i didnt study at all because all that i have the energy to do was to drag my ass to class but bs mentally absent. I slept a lot. I didnt go out, i went straight to my apartment from class. I ate a lot too. Then came the giving of grades and i saw that i failed my exams. My morale got even lower. I become more quiet, i sleep more often, i did not respond to texts and chat messages. I enabled thr Do Not Disturb feature on my phone. Then suddenly, i wake up feeling better. I felt the warmth of thd sunlight on my face. I felt the urge to say send a good morning text to my parents. I came to school excited after a long time. I was hoping everything would go back to normal, but it did not. My friends drifted away and find othdr company. My grades are slipping and i understood less in class. I didnt know how to get my grades up again. Exam week came again and i actually studied this time. But i found it hard because i was mentally absent in the lectures on those topics. I fucked up my academic and social life and so now im struggling. Im always alone now. I havent had another episode but im always lonely now. Sometimes i wish that i could go back to not feeling anything at all because right now, it's so hard. It's hard to have a depressive episode then go back to normal after you snap out of depression. It's harder if you dont have anyone who understands what you're going through. Im not even diagnosed with depression, i just self-diagnosed so im not even sure if this is depression.
0 likesI just wanted to share this. I feel you all, im going through the same thing as you.
This video is old and I very seriously doubt that you will see this comment but it is so genuinely...comforting to see someone else in the midst of depression.
0 likesOof I felt that thanks for explaining the things I feel that is unexplainable for me
0 likesOk, I’ve finally got a video to show people when they try to tell me they know what depression is like even though it’s obvious they have no clue
0 likesThis video was me for the last decade. I cannot even describe to you how much this is what I've been going through. Life is a lot better since a year ago and I NEVER thought I'd say that. I'm a musician too. It seems to affect us creative types the most. You're not alone, Dodie. Remember that when you feel really spaced out, I'm going through it too and so are many others. You are real, your brain is just hiding because life is scary. It'll be brave again one day. I hope you get the help at Maudsley. I'd love to go but I'm too far away. They have medications that directly targets DP/DR. SSRIs often don't really help it but everyone's different. It has worked for some. Hang in there, Dodes ❤
6 likesReplies (6)
Oh wow?!!?! Do they!? Omg
1 likeHoly shit I am NOT GIVING UP. I WILL get referred there
5 likesOmg I keep thinking about this. It's like there's a cure somewhere in London and I'm just lying in bed feeling crap when the thing that could make me better exists
6 likesI was in contact with a guy who was treated at Maudsley. I think he was an inpatient. He told me he was put on a drug for mood stabilisation (which is actually an epilepsy drug). My bipolar friend is on the same drug and it can help with OCD as well. She has done really well on it. The issue is, as with all medication, there are side effects. This particular drug can cause life-threatening rashes so what they do is they put you on a very low dose for a little while and monitor you gently upping it to safe levels. My bipolar friend has been on it for years and she has had no ill side effects and says it's saved her life and that she is as close to normal as possible on it. The guy I spoke to who trialed it at Maudsley did have the reaction and I don't think it worked out for him. But it's really different strokes for different folks, and your biochemistry is unique. What happens to one doesn't happen to the other. I've spoken to thousands upon thousands of folks suffering with DP/DR over the last decade since it happened to me. I advise never to go on nomorepanic.com to see all the people in the panic stage and the long-termers who are severely depressed, nihilistic and disillusioned. A long-termer is someone who hasn't sorted out the underlying issues and maybe cannot afford to or is reluctant to. If you're going to research it, research cured or stories of people who've gotten better. There's quite a few videos on youtube with great advice for DP/DR, people who've suffered it strongly for like 10 years who've come out of it.
0 likesThe thing with DP/DR is that it is essentially a symptom of an underlying issue that needs to be addressed in therapy and then a life structure incorporated to work around it and make it so that you have all the tools in place for you to get better and stay better. It is extremely rare that it's a stand-alone problem so yes, therapy is key. You are real, and you are - and I mean this genuinely - not doomed, Dodie. Your brain is having a reaction in this way in order to keep you safe because it's mistaken life as a constant threat. It can be undone and don't let depression or nihilism lead you to believe it won't because it's a lie.
0 likesI really recommend mindfulness courses. Grounding techniques! Meditation is key, I believe. DP/DR tends to box you into a corner in your mind. I think I might even have the email of one of the psychiatrists that the in-patient guy sent me if you'd like me to forward it to you. I'll pop back with the name of the drug.
I do mindfulness for 10 minutes every day and a 30 minute body scan twice a week. I can not even convey how much it helps, not only just with anxiety but with life in general and with obsession over DP/DR as well which in turn is the best thing to stop so you can give your brain a rest and for a lot of folks it can lessen or help curb their DP/DR. I experience it still a bit but after hardcore DP/DR for years and panic during that whole time, obsessing over not being able to feel or enjoy anymore etc - I'm about 90/95% here most of the time. It fluctuates for me and there's always a bit about but I can have fun and experience things around it, which I never thought I would be able to do. I still struggle with blunted emotion a lot of times but I've noticed that because I'm expecting my DP/DR to keep me blunted, I stay blunted. When I have genuine, unexpected experiences the DP/DR doesn't get in the way because I'm not self-protecting or expecting grandiose experience of self. This hasn't happened till this year and as I mentioned, I'm notching up a decade with this 24/7. I had a moment of complete clarity in my Screenwriting class a few weeks ago and it was just absolutely joyus. Like, to know it can happen, y'know? I just gotta give myself time and keep working on it in a kind way rather than punishing myself emotionally for having it in the first place.
0 likesYou cannot think your way out of DP/DR. Your brain sort of assumes it's a sort of equation type problem and it's desperately trying to figure out how to fix it, but the fix is not in the fixing - the fix is in the letting go.
The drug is named Lamotrigine and when referred, you want Dr. Elaine Hunter. Her direct address, email and telephone number is on here - http://www.kcl.ac.uk/ioppn/depts/ps/research/neurobiologialmechanisms/depersonalisationresearchunit.aspx
Maybe send a letter for self-referral?
People can take OmegaBrite to help lift depression but I don't know much about it so if you are considering, really do research it. Same with Lamotrigine, research the hell out of it and make sure you have a lot of support around you if you do decide to take it. Make sure you're aware of the risks with it and that it's something you're ready for. Desperation can make us make hasty decisions. I was always looking for a miracle cure in medication, but - and not to dampen your enthusiasm - I think it's actually more likely to be long-term internal work. Then again, I've never tried Lamotrigine. But my advice is to be cautious and wary of thinking a med can be the cure. Head meds come with side effects (I'm sure you know this but I just want to be real about it). You need CBT life structure in order to manage your brain's proclivity to dissociate long term for sure. Therapy is vital with this issue.
Absolutely best of luck to you, Dodes. Hope this helps <3
I'd be depressed too if I owned a MacBook. 😉
0 likesI get reoccuring depression as well and they stay for few months at a time.I've actually kinda gotten used to it I mean it still sucks and I still cry alot in bed but i know what to expect and I know it will get better some day. However my bf never had the experience and doesnt understand at all. He sometimes get fed up or frustrated with me or worse try to "cheer me up" with peptalks. He just doesnt understand the experience and i dont blame him I didnt either before I started suffering from it. Its just that when the person you feel the closest doesnt understand you at all it makes you feel 100 times worse because not only are you depressed, but now you are also feel alone and hate yourself
0 likesfeeling pain is good. it means you're so much alive. But When You're deppressed you feel nothing because you stop living. not sorry not worry just emptiness.
0 likes30 seconds in and know that I love you
1 likeKeep us updated. <3 I really do wish the best for you, and hopefully therapy will work something out.
3 likeswhenever I'm depressed I just feel really really tired but I'm not actually tired....I wouldn't say I'm depressed but a few times a month I do get depressed if that makes sense ..
0 likesSometimes when I feel depressed I just wish that I don't wanna be happy anymore
0 likesOne of the best videos I’ve ever seen.
0 likesI’m depressed ☹️ I’m just so lost man that’s what I feel, I’m just confused about everything I guess idk
1 likethank you for speaking up about this. I've been feeling like this everyday for the past three years, I don't even get excited for my birthday or meeting my friends. and it keeps me from doing things that I love, like playing instruments or singing lol and therapy hasn't worked for me
3 likesi hope you feel better at your pace, a big hug from a shy fan
0 likesThis is a very raw video and I love dodie but she did shoot this while she was in a depressive period so if you want to understand a bit better by someone also depressed you should watch daniel and depression or you can talk to me. Read on if want more bants.
0 likesI saw a video just before this one about her and dan's depression and bawled out my eyes thinking about my depression and then came here and felt a bit better so thank you dodie
Thx for sharing. Really glad I'm not alone like this
0 likesI'm depressed every day
3 likesHaha oh why do I laugh at myself? Because I can relate.
0 likesDoes anyone else have it where they feel depressed for what feels like forever but then they have a good day where you're maybe not happy, but you're just comfortable. So you think "hey this is great! Maybe I'm not depressed anymore" but then the next day it comes back?
0 likes'Your brain is so heavy, you can't help but notice it'. This totally sums up when I my mood is really low.
0 likesIdk about everyone else but I'm currently balling rn. Just hearing her explain her experience reminded me of me and idk ;(
0 likesFor me I dont wanna lay in bed I wanna run away from everything..
1 likepoor dodie we love you :(
0 likesI don't think I have depression.. but still.. I can relate to a lot of these things :/ I'm doing better now tho, but it was horrible a while back. But oh well, after the holidays it'll probably happen all over again
0 likesHol up... You can microwave beans? I've been siting here for hours with nothing to eat and I never even... I gotta go microwave some beans!
0 likesDepression feels like I'm in warm water and I just Don't want to get out cause I'd just rather stay depressed than feel better and fall again cause it just hits harder each time. I'm not gonna live long. I'm almost certain one day my life's just going to be ended by my own hands. I just haven't built up the courage yet.
0 likesBDE- big dementor energy
2 likesI’m feeling it I don’t really know what to do it’s the weekend i feel like I want to sleep but I’m restless I keep trying to listen to music keep skip like I can’t I want to watch Netflix but stop watching I feel like I want to take bath but 15mins I’m getting out
0 likesYep, I've definitely been there before.
0 likesWhenever I go there it feels like I never left.
But depression isn't daily, its comes as monthly episodes, lasts for months
5 likesReplies (8)
NFA78 it’s different for everyone
0 likes@emma it's not tho, depression isn't felt daily, depression is a long-term struggle, not a daily mood
2 likesBeing depressed means not caring if you die, which causes you to not care about leaving the bed, eat, speak with people, drugs will be very attractive, strong feeling of guilt, lack of will power, anxiety, lack of energy, disruptive sleep and more, it lasts for months and it takes a really long time or sometimes never for the person to realize they're depressed, but it's noticable by others, now not all depression episodes come that strong, but it gets to that state if you continue with the same lifestyle or don't get treatment.
1 likeBasically you can never say, today im depresses or this week or this month, it will be false, its just you're doing many things wrong,
2 things can tell you if you're depressed :
1. You really haven't cared if you died for months( since the thought of death occurs more while depressed)
2. You notice that for several months you can't follow just one routine and can't control yourself and organize yourlife with an extreme feeling of guilt all the time even over small things.
NFA78 I’ve had depression myself. So i know what it is and what’s it’s like. I don’t think her intention with this video was to spread false information. I think the point of this video is that you can be depressed, but have worse days than others. Her wording wasn’t right, obviously. Because depression isn’t something you just feel one day and then don’t the next, but it is something that can be awful one day and not so much in the next few, if you understand what i’m saying. A few years ago i was extremely depressed to the point i contemplated suicide and even attempted. Now, I’m better. i’m no longer taking meds for depression and i’m all around happier, but there are days i feel down like i did when i WAS. I hope this clears up what i said better. have a nice day/evening. xo
0 likes直美 Yes it is, but it is still different for everyone. Some people can’t even get out of bed, some people can still go about their days seemingly fine when really they are not.
0 likes@emma you're brave for sharing these things, i'm glad you feel better, you're right and have a nice day aswell :)
1 likeemma no it’s not
0 likesLane Thomas read my other replies we’ve gone over this ??
0 likesCoQ10 is great for head fog which counters feeling detached. Its just an OTC supplement.
0 likesDepression fucking sucks. That's all there is to say. I know it's different for everyone, but for me it feels like something that's constantly pushing down on me and looking over my shoulder. It's been progressively getting worse, despite my life is progressively getting better. I don't know. It just sucks. And there's nothing you can do about it sometimes. And she's totally right. You can't do anything. Everything feels boring. You're just in this void. And since there's nothing to do, you sit alone and think, which for those of you who aren't depressed, thinking alone while depressed can be harmful. So for me, I'm stuck with these negative thoughts about myself 100% of the time and nothing to do about it. And there are times when you feel like it might never get better. And that's fun because I've been this way since about August. There are sometimes things you can do to get your mind off of it, but there's not much. The best thing anyone can do is find someone who REALLY cares about you, and is willing to talk to you when you feel shit. It's those people who help the most
2 likesWatching this 2 years later, not wanting to leave bed unless for food. Feeling that no one wants me around. Sitting in a black room hoping everything and every thought stops. Life for some people is amazing but others life is a prison. I feel everything she says, therapists try really hard but nothing works I’m stuck in one place. Crying all night not getting sleep. My life has gone downhill and I don’t think it’s going back up.
0 likesI've gotten spaced out like four times? It's terrifying. I'd try splashing water on my face slap myself but nothing works you just have to live through it. Thankfully it goes away after I've slept I just understand dodie.
15 likesI’m going to end it all tomorrow. I wrote my suicide letters and have them away and my own letter is ready and on my table. I’ll finally have peace then. Thank you all and hope you figure out whatever you’re doing. ❤️
0 likesReplies (6)
I wish you the same, I don't know what happened to you to go that far but you don't deserve this
0 likesThink about the people who were there for you and know you like a friend or family... they still have love and attention to spread! Talk to them about your situation, I know this is not easy but they deserve to know your situation not too late...
My life is just a waste and and I’m a complete shame.
0 likes@Darin Al-Faraj Did you talk to your closest people about this ? Now you're just trying to convince yourself to do it
0 likesPlease if you didn't do it already seek a little bit of strengh in you to talk you'll miss things in life that you'll probably like
Bakary K I’ve tried to talk out, but no one cares. I had 2 friends I really cared for, but they never cared for me, I could be dead and they won’t ever care to call me or ask me how I am. So I got rid of them and cut them off. They’re fake and poisonous people. My parents was really mean to me, they tortured me and beat me all the time I was a child. Hearing my mom telling my dad to “kill her, kill that whore” damaged me totally. I can’t trust anyone. I haven’t felt love and too scared to love anyone. I don’t even dare to get in a relationship. My whole life is a joke and a waste. I’m so ashamed of myself.
0 likes@Darin Al-Faraj
0 likesYou've been trough a lot already that unfair that a parent thinks of their child like that
You are ashamed of what you've done or because of what your entourage think of you ?
Reach out for associations or you probably have a public number to call in this case where you live no ?
If you need to talk I'm still here
0 likesSo I thought I didn’t have depression anymore...
0 likesI guess I was wrong
I’m depressed now and I want to make the heaviest chocolate cake
0 likesThe disassociation is REAL. I don’t feel real. I don’t know how this will end.
0 likesI think this video is important because not everyone can be happy all the time
0 likesI literally did not get out of bed for 2 days, literally just watching YouTube
0 likes4:09 - 4:30 hits too close to home >_<
1 likeI didn’t know this is what depression was
0 likesI cant help but wonder if living with Hazel doesnt help. Hazel and Jack, as brilliant as they are, are happy. They appear to be SO happy, and I know from personal experience that being so close to a happy couple, makes your sadness feel bigger. On the outside, we barely ever see Hazel, which makes me wonder how much she is around for her roommate and friend. I cant help it. I cant help but be worried that Dodie isnt getting the love and support a person often needs from someone in their own home. Or is she always alone.
3 likesI stay in all day with a heavy feeling all on my body ,, I feel so filtered as if I’m in a dream ,,I almost feel as if my body will shut down somehow ,, i dUnno
0 likesDodie watching Rick and Morty is my aesthetic
3 likesYou have to let go. Understand the fact that you keep yourself ocupied with infinite loops, that consist of "why" questions. You ask them in hope of finding the answer to happines. When you feel depressed i don't think it's logical to find happiness if you don't feel it. Take it logicaly it will probably help you.
0 likesoh my gosh i wish this weren't so relatable
0 likesHey Dodie can I write a song out of what you said I've been trying for so long trying to express what I've been feeling and this I exactly it
39 likesReplies (1)
Cloe Dominguez can you comment the song when it done I think a lot of people would like to hear it ❤️😘
3 likesI can relate to this so much ;-;
0 likesI thought it's just me. Like going into a trance or something. The people around me thinks that i am cool, that they want to be like me they said. What they dont know is that i am just tired of being me. Just like in Billie's lyrics, "i wanna end me" is my motto. Keeps muttering "fuck" and "shit" all day for no apparent reasons. This video made me feel good and bad at the same time. I dont want this anymore. I dont know if im depressed or just completely tired or something? I really dont understand anything. I want to stop school and just crumble to dust. I am sooo tireeddd af. I want to be me. Because today, i am not feeling myself. Again.
0 likesI hope you know that depression is actually addictive. So if you have been depressed once, It's like quicksand. It will try to pull you down again and it is up to YOU, and ONLY YOU to NOT let it pull you down again. Depression is a very addictive and I mean VERY addictive, state of mind.
0 likesI watched this all the time and then I forgot it - "Out of sight out of mind"
2 likesSad it's unlisted..
Edit: Yaaay :D
Now I can go back to being depressed again...
I can definitely relate, some days I just absolutely can't human. but I love u and I hope u know that u r never alone. I'm suicidal and I cope with music, and when I feel down I put on ur album and let myself b sad in a healthy way
3 likesI went on fluoxetine and it made me shit for like a month and then I felt normal. So that was good
0 likesVery relatable
0 likes"not my problem." that part, I swear it sounded like Al Pacino on scarface
0 likesThis is comforting
0 likesYeah I’m pretty depressed gonna see if I can end it soon good luck hopefully you can do better than me
0 likes👏 nice 👏 to 👏 meet you 👏 I’m 👏 depressed 👏
0 likesIt's just a feeling and then fuel it with thoughts change thought pattern and focus
0 likesthats why I drink caffeine and alcohol. Coffee in the morning to make me happy and lift me up. Alcohol to numb myself in the evenings.
0 likesI could hear you speak for hours.
0 likesHere we go again. Mental breakdown is bacc and so I am here
0 likesI feel literally like she says.
0 likesrelatable as hell
0 likesi had really bad depression like last year but now im feeling better
3 likeswhoever has to go through any kind of mental health,
you can do it. if i, a thirteen year old girl, can do it, so can you. days will be bad, but there will be a sunshine at the end!
The fact that you stopped watching and didn't finish it... Accurate. That's me.
0 likesI always thought maybe the older you are, the better my mindset will be but... in reality it's not at all
1 likethis is how i feel
0 likesif i meet you in person & your depressed can i give you a hug even though you wont get much from it?
0 likesgives Dodie and everyone in the comments a big hug
6 likesCan you do a colab with Dan Howell about this plz❤❤
0 likesThis explained so much.
0 likesjeez that's literally what i feel that's 100% person me i mean i can't believe someone feels as i do
0 likesYep. No worries...its alway's the ass end of thing's that make us happy.
0 likesI havent figured it out either. 😎
If you're stuck at the bottom, grow flowers there. Flowers may be edamame beans or comfy pajamas. You do not need to try and fix everything all at once, just be and take the little things that are somewhat okay. There will not always be an instant release, so donut get discouraged. Keep doin ya thing!
3 likesReplies (1)
Aw. I love that
2 likesDo you think a dog could be a good friend?
0 likesSometimes I just really hate myself.
1 likeAm I the only one who is relating to this way more than what's healthy?
0 likesIdk i think i really needed this idk thank you for making this
1 likeThis year wasn't always the best for me my grandmother died then my oldest brother kicked my family out my sister almost was molested and now start having sex my two older brothers are ignorant and other is fool my mom and uncle died and my girlfriend moved to Maryland all I can say now is that god tried to make me happy
0 likesYou can’t have a “daily” mood change so drastic that you called it depression. It’s sadness, you can’t say “oh yeah yesterday i was super happy, today im depressed”
4 likesReplies (2)
That's what I was thinking, this is what I call fake depression... Now everyone thinks they're depressed bc they feel sad one day...
2 likes@Beck Styles could it be I'm talking in general? Maybe
0 likesI don't sleep because I know tomorrow is another day... It always comes... The sun goes up the sun goes down, this shit will never end
1 likelooking on the bright side, you've managed to make yourself something to eat (which is even proper healthy) and you managed to wash your face before bedtime. that's some fucked up effort when depressed.
1 likeeating row beans what an idea :) I never tried
0 likesYou’re pretty and wealthy, thank you
1 likei was supposed to start seeing a therapist...now it feels like they don’t care about getting me my first session. they’re in shock that i feel this way.
0 likesI gotta stop checking. Also I’m now craving edamame
3 likesReplies (1)
Same !
0 likesthat's pretty fucking accurate
0 likesSo true, this is positive video !!
0 likesI relate to this video sista
0 likesyour voice looks like the Amy voice, I like it
0 likesdon’t be upsetti have some spaghetti
741 likesReplies (13)
didnt dil say that
3 likesdont be upset i can bring u speghett
17 likesdon't toucha my spaghet
7 likesKate James sambady is in dis HAWS
0 likesto forgetti your regretti
5 likesSpaghetti, ha, bbq chips and fig newtons.
1 likeI regretti the spaghetti
9 likestheraddestdude we need more ppl like u, lmao u cheered me up ❤️
0 likesIs that the sequel to pasta is good life is SAD
0 likesYES
0 likesyum dude
0 likesSpaghetti is grose
0 likesmore espresso less depresso
0 likesyou described depression perfectly.
1 likeReplies (2)
Cause she's depressed :c
1 like@Tamara Miranda i know. what im meaning is that it's very easy to understand. like, im depressed and can't really explain it. i can't really explain it to people?? but she can.
0 likesI was too weak to feed myself today that was a low point. I am recovering badly from anorexia I travelled too long and now its too late to get food. I feel faint sometimes was under too much pressure. to remember to eat I feel crushed.
0 likesI can relate
0 likessome girl in my grade tried to kill herself and even though i have depression (yes, i was diagnosed) i’ve never tried to kill myself and one day at school i was just having a huge depressive episode and i broke down all day and it was crazy. that girls (who tried to kill herself) best friend told me that if i was really depressed then i should kill myself. i-
2 likesReplies (2)
This story made me upset I'm really sorry that happened.
1 likeClover :3 aw no it’s fine i’m sorry it made you upset :(
1 likeMe throughout life
191 likesK-5th grade: fine
6th: DEPRESSED AS ALL HELL
7th: I'm half depressed and half anxious
8th: ANXIOUS AS ALL HELL
Replies (13)
My Name I NEVER NOTICED BUT SAME THO
0 likessame except everything went downhill in 7th grade
2 likesjoshdunwithlife seventh grade is when everything goes downhill for everyone, my friend
9 likesMy Name freshman year is THE WORST
1 likeMy Name K-8 for me so far.....HAPPY AF. i am 97% happy, 2% sad, and 1% angry
0 likesMy Name lol me it all went to shit at 7th grade
1 likesame here
0 likesMines like this...
4 likesK-6th grade: fine
7th: ANXIOUS SO BADLY
8th: WORSE THAN 7th, GREAT
9th: NOW ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED, YAY
Me throughout the life I had so far:
6 likesUntil 6th grade: ANGST ANGST ANGST and confusion.
7th and 8th grade: confused, still a bit angsty, insecure but happier.
9th grade: Awkward as hell, full of philosophical shit, depressed once or twice a month but mostly happy inside.
My Name me:
3 likes6: deathly depressed and emo
7 and 8: depressed but hiding it
9: better but anxiety ridden
Start of 10th: sad and scared
Getting to the end of 10th: I feel way better and I love all of my friends
Me:
0 likesUntil 7th: IM SO HAPPY
8th: ooo look at me I'm so cool gonna be a high schooler next year he he
9th: slow spiral into depression
10th: asks for help from a friend, goes to therapy, now feeling much better and really trying to take care of myself
exactly me tf
0 likes5th: no friends
0 likes6th: Jumping off the walls
7th: Jumping off the walls
8th: jumping off the walls
9th: reality, anxiety and depression enter
I felt this and I don’t understand, I kinda know how I feel but I don’t know what to do about it
0 likesI thought I knew depression, till I took that test they couldn’t diagnose but now I’m gonna go to a doctor. I...am just a kid would I know what I’m doing? ╥﹏╥
0 likesIdk how many times i have watched this anymore
0 likesShe’s so intelligent
0 likesHonestly first video I have seen from your channel... I subscribed
0 likesloved it
0 likesI’d make ramen instead of sweet peas. yeah I know I’m so unhealthy
0 likesSo, i'm not the only one. Thanks Doddie.
0 likesjust a drop in my sea of beer please
0 likesI would love to be your friend, I just love the way your brain works. I know im gnna have a shit week already and I don't even want to have a good week anymore.
0 likeswow you r saying all the facts
0 likessometimes I really just want to cry, but it just doesn't work & it's very frustrating because you do NOT know what do you want to do with yourself and your life..
1 likei remember that when this was originally posted, i had no understanding of what she was explaining. i never finished the video because it made absolutely NO sense.
3 likesbut now, after taking focalin for the first time, i completely understand. i was undoubtably the happiest girl on the planet during any social event, school day, or nights out with my friends. now im so scared that the way i feel now is how i was meant to feel. that my happiness was just a facade and i was just lying to myself and those around me. it scares me so much.
i had no other way of describing this feeling to my therapist, so thank you dodie clark for this description of how i feel, i really want this to go away and no 14 year old should have to go though this. no one should have to go through this.
But why did this almost make me cry..?
0 likesIt helps to investigate what triggers these changes.
0 likesvery much feeling this video lately
0 likesOmg the amount of blood tests I’ve had
0 likesi watched this video everyday for the past week
0 likesInteresting to see. When I am depressed (which is almost always) but I mean REALLY badly depressed, I won’t eat, maybe I’ll just lay there and roll around in my bed all day. My phone will ring, I won’t check who it is. Somebody comes to the door, I won’t answer. The only thing I get up to do is use the restroom. I don’t have enough energy to cry but I’m certainly sad enough to. It’s different to see how other people are on their bad days.
0 likesah i keep coming back to this again this video is SO IMPORTANT.
0 likesI wish I ate vegetables when I was depressed 😔
0 likesI hate it when depression just starts creeping making you not wanna go out but just stay indoors ALL THE TIME because going out is too much of a hassle.
0 likesi’ve been suffer with depression for 5 years now ....
0 likes“Who paid for that goddamn chair? That’s not my chair”
0 likesI have never related this much to anything in my whole life
1 likeReplies (1)
Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaame
1 likeRick and Morty is my cup of depressing tea
0 likes4:10 🥺 feel that rn
0 likesI find it so hard to make friends outside of school. I love school because I have so many friends and I get good grades and my teachers are nice to me. It’s summer and I have no one to hang out with, and nothing to do. Nothing anyone asks me to do is anything I can get myself excited about. I just want to wake up tomorrow and get ready. I want to go to school and see all of my friends. I don’t have anyone, and I feel so alone.
0 likesI was ready to reach a month clean of self cutting until yesterday happened....
0 likes100% the case with depersonilisation, 2 different selfs :D
0 likesI'm depressed every day
0 likesI heard that it could be because you're lacking testosterones, I'm not sure though. Maybe you can try this out?
0 likesI related to this so much
0 likesThis Is relatable
1 likeWait I'm lost. Do you have bipolar disorders to check everyday if you're depressed or not?
0 likesIf this is how you are when you’re depressed, I would always want you depressed. jk be happy. Smile laugh be crazy
0 likesI wish my parents knew that i am depressed so they can take me to the doctor but i am scared i don't want them to worry so that's why i been keeping it all by myself
1 likeReplies (1)
Same
0 likesI've been struggling with these thought these exact thoughts. It's been so long it just feels like a part of my character and I don't know what to do. After at least two years of having this and having one really bad and long episode where it was so indescribable, I finally told someone. And it's just a crazy ride and I feel guilty about telling them and I'm trying so hard to just be happy but it's just so. I have moments where I want therapy, and others where I don't and I just don't know what to do anymore. My parents don't really think that highly of therapy either and I know if I told them they would tell me to just 'enjoy life' and I just don't know what to do anymore
54 likesReplies (9)
T. G. I feel quite similar ... I haven't exactly told my parents but I have given hints and I think I want to tell them but also I don't because I don't want them to feel horrible. Also my mom seems to have problems with mentaly ill people, idk ...
3 likesAnd I really want to tell you: At least try. Try therapy. If it doesn't work for you, alright but at least you tried it out. It's worth it. Because there is a chance that it works for you.
Lockenbarbie Becca thank you <3 I think I might try to talk to my parents about therapy this month. Or, at least, someone. I hope you can do the same too I hope we both can find a way through this thank you <3
2 likesT. G. Good luck with that <3
2 likesyes, I do hope so, too. thank you! <3
I hope things get better for you! If you are still in school you can try going to the counselor there! Most of them won't tell anyone about your visits if you don't want them too (unless you are thinking about self harm). I went through a hard time in my life and I feel like things would have gotten a lot better for me a lot faster if I had gone to talk to someone! YOU ARE AMAZING AND THINGS WILL GET BETTER!
2 likesDuck Puppet thank you <3 my school doesn't have a councilor I can talk to but I am definitely going to try talk to someone about it this month. Thank you so much <3
2 likesYAY! I think it will help you feel better!
1 likeIts exactly how i feel right now and how it is... I would want to get threapy talk to my friends about it, but i cant i just... I live in a small town. If i would say it to my mom as how it is, she would say "dont worry ur not depressed, ur just 14 years old, you are just feeling sad, it will go away" also i dont feel like talking to my friends about it, kinda for the same reason, most of the times my friend jokes about these "young" people on the internet that pretend to be sad if they like broke up with their bf when they are 15 or something like that... im scared that if i tell him, he would just laugh.... plus we only meet on school he lives pretty far away from me.. My other friend lives even more far away... I dont really have anyone to spend a day with.. so i just exist somehow.
0 likescar radiø You're feelings are valid, alright? Your age doesn't matter. I understand that it's hard but please try to talk to someone. Wish you look and hope you'll get better. xx
2 likesLockenbarbie Becca hey, thank you..
0 likesI wish I could feel sad like I used to cuz now I’m just numb
0 likesDid anyone else hear the Mario intro at 0:18 ?
15 likesReplies (1)
Nice
2 likesSame page with u girl.. I know exactly how u feel..
0 likesThis is me everyday I deeply hate myself
0 likesThis was so good..
0 likesSame
2 likesWhat do you call it when I get highs and the lowest lows 10x in 1 day every day...
0 likesWhat are you going to do? Its not about your accomplishment when you feel happy but if you are still able to push in days like this one
0 likesI have the same problem. Everything feels blurry and fuzzy and far away. It’s so weird and I hate it. I’m having one of my good days tho
0 likesI personally like being depressed because I have an excuse to tell myself as to why I’m not achieving anything
0 likesMe everyday:
4 likes“I don’t give a DaMn! Well I kinda do...”
UwU depression is sooo cute
3 likesIt seems everybody is depressed, and it seems to help with my depression ?
4 likesI feel pretty good today :P
1 likeReplies (1)
Good
0 likesThere are different kinds of depression. Looks like yours is young and mild. I have battled debilitating depression since I can remember. I just turned 58. When I'm in that dark place I can't even shower
0 likesI understand this, i get this so much.
0 likesI've been on various SSR1s for the past 3 years or so and I couldn't recommend them highly enough. I started out on Fluoxetine (Prozac) and six months down the line that wasn't working. Then I tried Citalopram which again, didn't work. but now I've been on Serteraline for about two years and I don't know where I would be without it. I'm not saying everyone should depend on meds for happiness, but if you're feeling low on a general basis then sometimes it can just help you get through the worst bit, and when you're feeling better you can ween off them (like I'm doing right now) just don't immediately discount the idea because it makes you seem "crazy" - there's no shame in needing a little help to lift your 'rock bottom' to a little bit higher. like the treading water metaphor you used, sometimes and SSRI can help you stay afloat a little bit better. but if the first one you try doesn't work, don't give up, try a different medication or a different dose and eventually you'll find one that works for you and you'll get there. I believe in you <3
16 likesReplies (8)
yes!! I'm on sertraline atm and i feel so much more like myself!
0 likesmeme meme yes!! so many people don't want to try meds because they don't want 'false emotions' or to not feel like themselves but what a lot of people don't realise is that your mental illness is not you either. meds do make you feel more like yourself :D
2 likesI started Fluoxetine in November and I don't feel like it's working that much :/ I don't know whether I should ask to try others or wait it out, it's my exams soon and I don't want to have another adjustment period as they're super important. :(
0 likesI was first on Fluoxetine and now I'm on Citalopram but I feel like it's not longer working. Maybe I'll ask my doc for trying Setraline.
0 likesholly definitely worth asking, it's just a case of trial and error until you find one that works with your own brain chemistry
0 likesI went through the same path as you, first Fluoxetine, then Citalopram and now Serteraline (100mg per day), how long was your adjustment period? I've been on it for a few months now and I dont feel like its doing much for me, but I'm not sure if its because of the adjustment or if its just not working for me
0 likesLucy I've been on it for a couple of years now. I started at 20mg a day, then 50mg, then 100mg, but it didn't start having an effect on me until I increased the dose to 150mg (I've since brought it back down to 100mg and so far so good) so maybe you need to try a different dosage, the maximum is 200mg I believe
0 likesThanks for replying, maybe I can talk to my doctor about going up a bit, I just really want to find something that works, good luck with your reducing I hope it works out well for you
0 likesfelt this wow
0 likesI feel exactly
0 likesIce cream? No, ok. Well, ok... Feelings... Very good feelings
0 likesOh god, how do you have energy for talking to the camera when you feel like that? I cant even make myself to write anything down in my journal. Ohh. And I don't even know what IT is, because i'm too scared to talk about this to my therapist so I just tell her random things about everyday life ugh
0 likesDoddie is me when I’m depressed ❤️
12 likes4:07!!! Yesss the only reason I’m depressed & scared!!!
0 likesYou're the first person to put it into words....
0 likesI just had the biggest panic attack of my whole life like 30 minutes ago. I couldn’t even breath properly. The reason : I was depressed 2 years ago because of something really bad that happened. Since then, I hate myself. Like, I HATE myself. I can’t look at myself without wanting to throw up. There’s this boy I’m in love with and he found some pics of me when I had depression (I was fat as hell and I just looked reallyyyyy ugly in general). I was so ashamed of myself. I literally wanted to kill myself. He did tell me « you look amazing don’t worry » but I still got a really bad anxiety attack. I was about to hurt myself. I can’t describe the pain I’m going through right now and I feel like no one understands me. I have such a big obsession with the way I look and I can’t go out if I don’t wear makeup and jewellery and great clothes. I just feel like it’s gonna make me beautiful. I want people to tell me I am. Because that’s the only way I can feel a bit of confidence. I have no idea of what to do. Fuck.
1 likeHey when you talk about this dark feeling of depression, is it like you have fog in your brain? Very random question but I really wanna know? Oh and this is a question to anyone I just...im lost (in myself) and I wanna know...?
0 likesMe, too, Dodie. I’m not even kidding. Let’s be depressed together!
288 likesReplies (5)
Girl of Many Vloggities stop. Depression is not fun and edgy. Get a life.
34 likesAn Intellectual She is depressed? She's not being edgy? What? Maybe you get a life?
5 likes(glorifying mental illnesses is a real problem these days )if you do have one or more of them pls get a professional help and be better!!
6 likes@Trve Milk Maybe she was joking like.. She is depressed and joking kinda??.. Dunno.. Or it can be what you said
1 likeGuys, I have bipolar I disorder. I’m always depressed. I’m always hopeless. I always feel nothing. I’ve been diagnosed. I’m not faking it. I was trying to be sarcastic. I’m sorry if you got it wrong.
0 likesI really understand how this is.
0 likesFirst 40 secs are my brains 24/7
0 likesIf i am the root cause of your ailments... I apologize. If i had any part in your suffering... I apologize. I would like to put in footwork to make it better for you hear yet that might not be possible or realistic when all things are taken into account so i want to at least apologise. I may have had nothing to do with this yet i wouldn't be surprised if i overall had everything to do with it. I thought i was waking people up to what else is real out there and our disconnect here. I am used to my dreams beyond dreams and such and have been since a youngster if not also prior. I wish i took in the negative results that could take place though regarding my influences on others. I thought i was doing something good yet it seems i put you in a similar situation as myself. I do not relate to it all yet i worry i caused it all. I do not get the sight issues, maybe once in a blue moon yet i think i overall get non of that aspect. I tend to know when i am dreaming or awake yet i check the reality of that at times for sure. Much of that is do to me seeing and experiencing the future or past from my body or others or from anywhere out of body and all the other co-existing timelines and or dimensions don't likely help with bringing clarity. I definitely have the visual disconnect at times yet i think i am more used to it, as far as detail, color, texture and definition goes... I still crave to see the beauty of what i know exists elsewhere yet in body here. I want to see that beauty in my waking life and i want others to too. I still dot on you by the way. I will always love you and you have a special place in my heart. I am very sorry if i brought you torment. I want you to be happy and healthy and i want you to feel forever fulfilled and loved. I wish and hope you at least are or become content and much more than that after. I think i want to crash with you and hazel hayes some day. I might have dreamt with the lot of you and you both seem to be beautiful sweethearts and i could just see myself enjoying spending time with the likes of you both. I would be happy to spend time with either of you as well. I hope i haven't made life too much of a rollercoaster for you or anyone else and if i have i hope to change that as soon as possible... If i can and should. Ripple and butterfly effects and so forth hold me back from writing wrongs i want to because of other things and sometimes you could say it is just out of my hands if not something else because all have seemed to apply. I wish you the best and i love you. Thank you for the positive impact that you have had on my life. Sweet dreams to you, Love!
0 likesFinally.. someone who fucking gets me!!
0 likesGod derealization and depersonalization accompanied by anxiety/depression is the absolute worst and most uncomfortable
1 likeReplies (1)
i'm feeling like this too and it's rare too see people feeling the same
0 likes5:03 I thought I was the only one who did this. Why do I do this?????
0 likesThis helped me alot
0 likesyoure not depressed "today" youre depressed every day. its just hitting you harder on certain days. stop saying that depression is a once a week thing, or its something that everybody has once in a while. im tired of seeing everybody saying their depressed when really theyre having a bad day, or theyre sad. depression isnt a 1 day event.
0 likesI'm literly balling my eyes out I relate so much
385 likesReplies (3)
I hope you have a way to get help and feel better soon ;-;
5 likesplease get help. nobody deserves to feel this way. i don't know your situation, but if there's a way you can find/receive help, please do it. speak to someone.
12 likesgood luck lovely
themagic fairy same girl :(
2 likesThere will be a day where you can say you’re ok and mean it. I promise you.
0 likesReplies (1)
it'll all make sense again
1 likeShe just swear like me sometimes : )
0 likesI look exactly like you oml
0 likesI've never heard her cuss so much omg
0 likesthis is just how i've been feeling these days.
3 likesReplies (1)
Alice Rguez same
0 likesThe title is me every day
0 likesI'm really really really sad right now cuz my dad's dog might die which he's been here with us for 12 or 13 years and he cant even move his body but his eyes and we all are sad and scared for him to die.😞😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
1 likei have days like today where i don't feel anything like sadness or happiness, etc but then i go in a spurt where i get really depressed and self harm and then a few minutes later i feel happy and then i go back to feeling nothing all in one day and i'm not really sure if i'm bipolar or something else because my mom won't take me to the doctors
0 likesI don't even know how to feel anymore
0 likesthe fact that dodie isn't happy makes me really sad : ( dodes only deserves happiness
3 likesFeel ya
0 likesGod is what's missing that will fill the whole that leaves the emptiness. He will complete the picture. Jesus is what you have been longing for without realizing. I truly hope that you recover from this and I hope the same for everyone in the comments. I was at my lowest point and God pulled me out of it. I also hope this message isn't interpreted as a joke or is seen to be too formal or random or weird or all of the above because I realize there is this stereotype of Christians that causes people to dislike the religion for the people and not for God. I really hope this comment isn't interpreted in that way. Truly hope you feel better
0 likessertraline is the loml, I think trying medication could be worth it :)
0 likesOui I felt that so bad the other day,,, I went to an ice skating place and I LOVE ICE SKATING and I felt nothing I was just cold and I wanted to go home,,, I fell down and instead of laughing I got so pissed
0 likesI have the same problem I cant focus on anything I already failed two years of high school
441 likesReplies (8)
Rovan Ibrahim dont worry ik how u feel
3 likesIt's not always neccessarily depression, you may have adhd or even some kind of learning disability which developed with age and you may feel the symptoms of that.
3 likesI'm not saying you're not valid because for sure you are, I'm just trying to help you so you can look these up and maybe that could help. (sorry if I didn't put it into words well, English can be tough sometimes as a foreign language :) )
Fanni Tóth I just looked it up and I have every symptom lol
2 likesthanks for your help
Rovan Ibrahim maybe try talking to your parents, older sibling, or a teacher whom you trust. i hope you'll get better soon!
0 likes@Fanni Tóth I will thanks!
3 likesI hope you get better Rovan. Sometimes it helps to go to a psychologist or psychiatrist. Just remember that you're strong and someday you will get through this. x
5 likesRovan Ibrahim, I just figured I would mention that I have ADD (attention deficit disorder) and it's basically where you can't focus. it's kind of making my life terrible right now and I probably have depression too, but I've started taking medicine for it (Strattera and Vayarin). I just want to say that I hope you're doing better!
7 likesSee every year from the 8th grade I always had a bunch anxiety and that gave me this dream feeling like I'm not real than later I found out it was dp. High school came I started heavily getting into psychedelics benzos, and pain pill (I don't like saying opiates, it sounds harsh hehe). So I'm still going through that river but I think maybe one day I can get through it and I think you can too man. School fucking sucks and it's not an easy time but you can make it through.
0 likesTook the words that I couldn’t put together..
1 likeOmg! Thoose feelings are excatly what I’m feeling
0 likesI love you for this
0 likesMe. Every day. Ugh this is too relatable whyyyyyy
0 likesokay dodie before this even starts just know we all love you okay :(
4 likesReplies (2)
alex Power aka, "I need to get my comment in while the number of comments are few enough that she'll respond" 😂
1 likeKasai the Fire Mage yes exactly 😂😂
0 likesyoutube recommended this to me. youtube knows me so well.
0 likesI have been so so bloated and it gets my down, I don’t know how to fix it, I hate my self. I just haven’t felt ok for along time
0 likesToday, i was really anxious and yeah.. Then i started to feel depressed and suddenly i felt like i was in a pit of depression. Im not very sure why.. I feel like.. Im scared of enotions and stuff and everything is just meh... Im scared that im faking it because.. I felt really good yesterday.. Well yeah... But today i realized stuff... It made me feel like a shit
0 likesOh my goodness can you just microwave frozen peas or whatever those green things are called in english
0 likesBy the way you speak what's in my mind🙌
Replies (1)
Melody R. Firelove Edamame
0 likesNine months later, watching this once again... yep, that happens
74 likesfucking hell i needed this
0 likesYo but you can't be depressed for a day.....
1 likeAnd then after being at home all day being depressed and crying you are forced to go to a lesson with people you dont really like and have to make up a reason you didn't do the homework and try to pay attention to things that you dont give a damn about at the moment..
0 likesVitamin D3 10000 iu a day helps SO MUCH with depression
0 likes“hello my name is dodie, and i’m depressed today”
0 likesI just snort hot cheetos when im depressed
1 likeReplies (1)
Well i mean rip to your nose but whatever works i guess
0 likesI just idk feel like I’m screaming but nobody can hear me, I really don’t know why even my best friends don’t see how bad it is going for me, I know I have no real problems but I just don’t feel fine or feel at all to be honest I’m just existing
1 likei related to thus so much.
3 likesIm depressed too!
1 likedepressed (today)
0 likesu cant be depressed 1 day or under 1 week.
depression is something that lasts in months possibly years
Been depressed 7 years so i know what im talking about im 16 btw
It'll all make sense again
0 likesI thought you were Sarah from buzzfeed at first x ur gorgeous
1 likeThis is me everyday what?
0 likesmy life in 6 minutes
0 likesRELATABLE AF
0 likesWhen are you guys going to decide to feel better? You can, you just aren’t.
3 likesI keep coming back to this when i am depressed because she just worded out everything in my brain which i don't wanna say cuz even that feels boring and useless at the end. This is comforting.
0 likesHi Doddlevloggle, this is the first video that I stumbleupon when I typed in "I am depressed". To be honest at this moment I don't really care who reads this or anything. I just really want to put it down on writing or typing if you say so. I am honesty depressed. Honestly I free depressed because I don't know what I have in my life anymore. I have lost my path in life when my father passed away in high school. My father and I never really had a good relationship but I still considered him my father. Once my father passed away I really lost my way because I had not drive or even the money to go to college. So I took a gap year and just work. I finaly got into a community college and I was doing my best and was working at the same time. It was just not enough. I failed and left again and just ended up working. As I continued on with my life. I started doing stupid stuff because it was the only thing that made me happy such as drugs, alcohol, anything I can find. I was even more depressed when I received a DUI. I'm on my way to finishing up all the paperwork and everything on DUI so thats good. During that time thought I was lost and sad. To be honest I felt the closest friends in my life are not even my closest friends. We label each other as best friends but I don't even feel that way. Even some friends in my close circle are starting to question it. The funny thing is that I even question that before. I really wish my mental illness was not part of me. It has been part of me since high school I am 23 years old now. I am just really lost in the world and I don't know what to do. There is more I want to say but I guess I'll stay end here. Thanks for sharing your video, I understand from your point of view.
0 likesHaha...I feel the same way every day. But it started to annoy me that depression stops me from doing things that any other person would just do without thinking if it's worth my effort or not.
8 likesI wish I could have days where I could just be depressed and not be so depressed I can barely function and still having to function
0 likesOh shiiii that's what I feel. But I don't know If I was depressed
0 likesI can't tell between my happiness self and depression self, I think my depressed self is my always self. Idk, I've forgotten what different emotions feel like, I just want to die and curl up. I want to stay in bed and do nothing uck
0 likesbitch i'm always like this
0 likesI like this vid like it's small things that let u know someone was depressed their hair good vid
0 likesadorable c:
0 likesMy brain will do this bc of a chemical imbalance
0 likesI am depressed at the moment. Not depression, just the actual definition of depressed.
0 likesI can't even explain how much this video means to me
1 likeI feel you
0 likesI have Seasonal Depression and this winter has been the shittiest I've ever had.
14 likesMy brain has been in like a loophole and I'm just sad for no reason. My dad has this as well, so I'm using a light and I'm trying to get more sunshine, and I felt like just sleepy and just wanting to never do anything and my anxiety has been through the roof recently as well.
Replies (1)
Use vitamin D supplement then
0 likesSame
0 likesAm I depressed if I feel bored and unmotivated to leave my bed every single day? Like I don’t enjoy anything like I used to
0 likesYeah, sometimes when I wake up, I feel have no future, and that it'll be any day now before I take my own life. But I get good days, and sometimes I get neutral days, where it's kind of a mixture--like neapolitan icecream, you know? On those neutral days, my mood is so incredibly fickle. It could be carried off in any direction, from the smallest causes. I could be a little clumsy a few times one day, and it'd just destroy me for, like, 3/4 of that day. But sometimes you have those days where you wake up, and you just get sick of wallowing. You feel competitive, like you're in direct competition with yourself, and so you try to work up a rough list of things to do in your spare time--not necessarily a strict schedule, where you say: "I have to do this from exactly the mid-to-late afternoon". It's kind of more like: "Just do it when you're ready, but make sure you actually get it done before the end of the day". I find that I don't enjoy those actitivies nearly as much if I'm forcing myself to do them for the sake of a schedule, and enjoyment is sort of the key. You have fight in you, and you're ready to make a change, but without any outside support, like a family member or a friend, it becomes hard to continue listening to the supportive voice at the back of your head without getting sick of hearing it. It motivates you because it feels like someone else rooting for you, but you just get to that point where you can tell the difference between someone supporting you and you supporting you. You realize that it isn't someone else, but only yourself, and that only reminds you that you're alone. There's no one to see you where you are now, and there's no one to see you get passed it. It's fucking hard, and I wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy.
0 likesP.S. Here's a random poem:
I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content.
(Walt Whitman)
Replies (1)
Thank you. Stay alive for the gifts life has preserved for your future
0 likesI don't feel anything anymore. Only a few little things bring me some joy. But I miss the days when I was full of inspiration and excited about partying with friends, learning new stuff, doing things, traveling,... Now nothing interests me. Even relationships... Dating.. Intimacy...same patterns.. Same disappointments.. I don't even get heatbroken.. It all just bores me.
0 likesyour making them peas look good
198 likesReplies (6)
bell b they are good
6 likesExactly. I don’t even like snap peas (I like frozen mini peas or whatever they are) but they look good.
0 likes@Elena Gibbons I think it's edamame, not snap peas? I'm not sure though.
0 likesamiablehacker huh. I still probably wouldn’t like them though 😂
0 likesElena Gibbons i’m eating them for the first time rn (i don’t like many vegetables) and they strangely taste like potatoes, which is good
0 likesthose are edamames
0 likesit's do annoying having extreme seasonal depression because just one (1) gloomy fucking day can make you feel like you never want to get out of bed and then the next day it's all nice & sunny & you're like "hahahaha i love life!! wow!! this is amazing!!"
0 likesI have depression and most of the time my day goes like this:
0 likesWakes up; I’m tired and I don’t want to leave
Breakfast; i hate breakfast
Morning; meh
Lunch; no
Let’s go outside? nope
Afternoon: I’m still tired
Diner: I guess I’ll have to eat something
Oh great my family is home now, so I can chat to them, cuz I’ve been home alone all day(I’m not going to school rn). Nope, don’t do that either
Night: I’m tired, but I can’t sleep
But I’ve started medication 2 days ago, and i might be going to a clinic. Soon? Idk. But I guess that’s pOsiTiVE
i hope you're better now
0 likesone day clean from self harm after 4 years
0 likesthank you thank you thank you for sharing this
0 likesThe past couple of comments I’ve read are so kind and sweet or just plain funny best comment section ever
0 likesThis is my everyday :^/
0 likesWe all are enough gorgeous!!!!
0 likesDODIE I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING AND HAD TO DROP WHAT I WAS DOING but I love you so it's all good 💖💖💖
3 likesAnd I thought this was normal
1 likeCant watch this right now or I'll be even more depressed
0 likesI’m not diagnosed and I’m to socially anxious to talk to someone about it but I’ll be fine at the beginning of the day and then all the sudden all the light will be sucked out of me. I won’t get excited and I’ll be unmotivated to do anything sooo yeah I’ll smile but my eyes are just kinda dead but yeah so idk what that means oh well
0 likesNOT MY CAR NOT MY PROBLEM WHAT A REFERENCE
1 likeBit wary of everyone in the comments diagnosing themselves with depression :/ always always go and talk to someone before assuming there's something absolutely and definitely "wrong" with you. (Quotation marks because there is nothing wrong with being depressed)
805 likesReplies (23)
Amanda S I know it's very common. However, no one should self-diagnose fully. It's very easy to go through something and relate to someone else, but that can be extremely hindering to continued mental health. All I said was you should talk to someone rather than
44 likes+
84 likesTiz Rae I absolutely see what you mean, and obviously it is preferable if you go see a mental health professional if you think you might be depressed. However, there are some people that can't access mental health services that easily for a variety of reasons, and their feelings aren't less valid or need any leas help - I honestly can't see any harm in recognizing symptoms in yourself if it means you can find coping methods for that specific illness online, and if you can find communities with similar problems that can support you. If you actively stay away from care because you prefer self-dxing, well, that might be a problem, but you aren't less depressed just because you can't afford treatment, for having parents who would disown you if you got in contact with mental health services (they exist) or because you are too scared to immediately talk to a doctor, for example.
39 likes"there is nothing wrong with being depressed"
11 likesof course there is.
xnox no,as in youre not irregular or frightning or mental for having depression. Youre still a human.
8 likesI want to add that feeling depressed does not equal having a depression. Mental illness is never something to assume and self-diagnosing is so bad in so many ways
13 likesI mean I intended for it to be a joke. I am INCREDIBLY mentally unstable. However I am truly sorry if you found it upsetting, triggering or offensive in general. Thinking about it now I understand that you might be upset because I get quite upset when my class jokes about suicide.
3 likesOnce again I am sorry and I hope you are okay.
Edit: I have deleted my previous comment. Sorry
The DSM is extremely subjective and it doesn't take much to get a diagnosis from a doctor. If someone is truly feeling like something isn't right and no one they know is experiencing similar things, why can't they self-diagnose to some degree? Some people benefit from putting a label on things so why not let them have a small amount of comfort if they're truly hurting?
8 likesKirstin Huff Well, because if you slammed your finger in a car door, you cannot see what's going inside. You can google it and maybe have an idea, but unless you're a pro or have X-ray vision, you cannot know what you're dealing with.
7 likesIf you're ill, you won't get better by self-diagnosing and creating treatments based on the Internet. Don't get me wrong, the Internet can give you really good tips, but here's the thing: what if you self-diagnosed yourself wrongly?
One of the most liberating moments of my life was getting diagnosed by a psychiatrist: with chronic deep clinical depression. I mean, it's hell and it comes and goes and when it comes, ITS HELL. But knowing what you have is the first step to recovery.
If you self-diagnose, you can never know. Only assume.
Tiz Rae well. there is. it's an issue which needs to be checked up on.
0 likesTiz Rae exactly! Like when people diagnose themselves with OCD or anxiety
4 likesI get where you're coming from, but it's also often difficult to get a diagnosis (especially when you're a teen). For YEARS I was told I was just being a teenager and it's only after 4 years of counselling, daily panic attacks and two hospital admissions that I was FINALLY told I'd been suffering with severe anxiety. Yes, people should definitely see their doctor, but chances are if you think something's up - it probably is
25 likesthe privilege of a professional diagnosis is pretty limited to like,,, white not poor (sometimes cishet) people. doctors are less likely to diagnose you with any mental illness if youre a person of color (ESPECIALLY if youre black), closeted kids cant always receive help without going into detail about what exactly makes them feel whatever way, if its coming from how people treat them because of thier orientation or internal feelings about it. poor people cant always afford therapy or meds or even taking time off of work. thinking self diagnosis is for idiots who read an article about depression once is very limiting. i was self diagnosed with depression for two years (as a still closeted girl of color with not very supportive parents) and i did a shit ton of research because i was so paranoid.
6 likesI agree with you 190%
0 likesI kind of agree but at the same time you're the only one who knows how you feel
0 likesNobody else feels the exact same way as you do
Only you see the world the way you see and that's okay
I would also like to say that some people can't afford to go talk to someone (in my case, my mom doesn't "believe in psychologists" AND we can't afford it). My point being, bashing on self diagnosis can tend to be a bit classist not everyone can afford that option.
1 likeKayla Richelle sorry, I guess I was more referring to my UK based experiences. I didn't mean to bash anything, just said I was "wary" of self-diagnosing. Didn't mean to offend anyone.
0 likesTiz Rae No, I totally understand that. No harm done. We don't all have the same life situations granted we're not even from the same continent.
0 likesone more like and you'll have 666 likes, someone like it
0 likesTiz Rae Disagree. I know my own brain well enough to KNOW that what I went through a few years ago was depression. I've spent months researching and the thing is my parents are the kind that would honestly yell at me if I told them about it much less asked to be diagnosed because I told them I had anxiety and they yelled at me.
7 likesTiz Rae
2 likesIM SORRY I DONT MEAN TO BE RUDE BUT
I don't need someone telling me how I feel on the inside. I know how I feel. I don't need to go to someone that I don't feel comfortable talking to about such deep things so they can tell me what I already know.
But I get your point. Sometimes people can think they're depressed because they might not know what depression really is. Or they can be attention seeking. I meant there's a lot that someone can misinterpret as depression. Maybe sometimes people overthink everything and they overthink their sadness. So it turns into this massive cloud of sadness that they've brought upon themselves.
Idk what I'm saying anymore.
You never know what's going on someone head. Don't assume that they are self diagnosing or that they aren't actually depressed.
xnox I'm sorry if I didn't take it the way you meant or if I came of as rude,i really am. I took it the wrong way,I'm sorry. But yes,I do have experience with metal illness,I just want you to know I'm not romanticising it. I'm truly sorry I didn't understand.
1 likejust saying dude, but people dont go to therapy to be told that they have a problem, they go because they want it fixed. therapists won't just tell you that you're broken, you hand them the pieces and they'll put them back together with you. just saying.
9 likesdodie was watching Rick and Morty just gotta put that out there
0 likesI am depressed everyday
0 likesあー好きこの動画
0 likesJeez it’s like echoing my every day yeet
0 likesI just want to hug you, it will get better I promise, we are all here for you 💕
3 likesI love you too dodie....
0 likesi’m 3 weeks clean today ..... i want to make it months
0 likesYou choose depression. I dealt with it for over 7 years now and the answer it's very easy..be depressed again and again till you litterally get borred and realise that the answer in the universe IS YOU!
0 likesSome people think that just because they don't feel motivated enough they are depressed. You lool really depressed, but like I see in the comments, some people really like to think they are depressed when depression is a way worse and complex state. It does not come and go. It isn't for a short time. It's a state where you feel trapped in day and night, every, single, day. Even when you feel happy you still feel emptiness. Depression does NOT equal sadness. Depression is lack of enthusiasm and fuel for life. Depression is incredibly lonely and dark, and it is not easy to get out of.
0 likesTo all of you 12 year olds that think they are depressed and post about it on instagram.
Me too!!!!! Except like everyday :) :)
1 likeLiterally me.
1 like4:01 (but really this entire video)
0 likessome 👏 one 👏 said 👏 it👏
What are those beans called? My depression will last days upon days, and I will usually fall back on food, and its usually sweet food (Cinnamon Buns are my kryptonite), but I'd love to give healthy things a go instead.
0 likesReplies (2)
I think they're snap peas or sugar peas. They're really good, I really like snapping them in half and eating the peas that are inside, it's kind of calming.
1 likeDowzerWTP72 Edamame Beans 👍
0 likesYou know what I'm just going to get this out there that I have been in depression for 3 years and I'm 14. I feel like I'm not good enough and I doubt myself. I try to switch my life back around but I have no motivation to do so. It's like a trap that you can't escape. I had tried many times. I just want to change the way I am :/ sorry if this is cringie...
3 likesi fcking love the way u said it so fcking honest and simple
0 likesi hope today s the happy u:)
same
0 likesI watched this a while ago and I didn’t understand how she felt at all not one word but I watched it again now and I get it and it’s terrible and I wish I never had to understand
0 likesNice editing
0 likesmy way of describing my depression is:
73 likesI'm running a marathon. I don't know how many people are running with me. I don't know how long it is. I don't know how far I've run, nor how far I have to go. I can't go off the track. I can't really do anything except run. And at some point, I can't anymore. I collapse. I fall down. I don't have nearly enough strength to get up. People go past me. No-one helps me up. All of my cells start withering and fading and I start to crumble. I literally cannot do anything. More people run past, some muttering that 'you should get up, stop being so lazy. after all, if I can run this race, you should too. there's nothing stopping you.'
and i cant do anything.
Replies (4)
QueeenBeee this is so beautiful and definitely one of the best comments I’ve read. I can’t describe how much I relate to this. Good luck. And go off the track on an off day. Give yourself a break.
4 likesthat is the best description I’ve ever heard
3 likesthis comment made me cry because you and dodie are the only people who have described it so well
1 likeTwo other ways to describe it....
0 likes1.) You feel so tired and your like f*ck everyone and everything.... you just want to crawl into the corner and die (not kill yourself.... You just want to die slowly. Don't sleep don't eat and don't drink NOTHING)
2.) I feel like I am so tired but I'm stuck in a small room (cold) and it's dark but that one light. That one light burns you every time you go to touch it but then you hear laughter from a small window on the opposite wall and you go to look out and there is joy and happiness out there but your stuck in this small *ss box and you wish you weren't. The thing is there is no door and no way to break that window because when you touch it... It's like fire so your stuck there forever alone and in the dark
u still look cute tho. i look really ugly when i'm depressed.
0 likesWhen i feel depressed its hard to get up from bed.
0 likesI saw the title and went “ugh same-“
0 likesExactly!!! :')
0 likesFr me every damn day
0 likesDepressed isn’t something you are for a day, wtf
3 likesReplies (2)
Tilda Nilsson that’s not what she means. she has depression but some days she feels better but on this certain day she doesn’t feel good at all. a bit hard for me to explain lol.
1 likeThat’s exactly what I was thinking holy fuck
0 likesas if u had read my mind :( depersonalization/derealisation is horrible, it has ruined so many beautiful things for me
0 likes2:08 Lol! I just skipped to that moment!
4 likesDepression makes me lazy and feel hopeless. I hate it....i bought meds but I'm afaird of over dosing on it if I feel too shitty
0 likesOk to start everyone gets depressed and wake up at odd hours for reasons they either don't want to understand or just can't do anything about. That's called clinical depression, you should ask your doctor to have your blood pressure checked or get an EEG done.........usuallly the meds they put you on Clonezopams, losartans, (if you're lucky a 420) etc they help more than SSRIs
0 likesYour a beautiful person like woah
0 likes... i got diagnosed with depression 2 weeks ago :'/
0 likesI'm only depressed because I have a long distance relationship and I barely see her now I'm moving overseas so now its years before i see her
0 likesok but I thought you were Steve Harrington from stranger things in the thumbnail
1 likeHey I’m depressed and bisexual too!
0 likesi am offended that you used a capital letter in the title
5 likesdoes anyone have any tips to not check how I'm feeling? please?
0 likesIt be like that sometimes...
0 likesme everyday
0 likesme everyday
0 likesYou have no idea how much i get this, but the sentence i am depressed today feels wrong to me. For me it's more like, on days that i function and feel again, i am sort of on top of my depression for a few moments, hours or days. All the other days are just covered with a big black messy cloud that ruins everything you touch. Nothing makes it more bearable, it is what it is.
45 likesAnyone else here from quarantine? I don't think I'm depressed but like I'm sitting here eating frozen corn and this is such a MOOD
0 likesIf a couple is depressed will they be together or leave?
0 likes@doddlevloggle is this a random occurrence or can this be caused by something bothering you for a while now. I mean to ask, do you kinda know why you feel this way and are afraid to admit it to yourself or anyone else why it's so? Cause I feel so sometimes
0 likesReplies (1)
Try doing some research and you can find lots of information about depression and the causes and affects.
1 likeMe:sees the title ,me too
0 likesI had brain surgery last year, and I've since been diagnosed with derealisation, anxiety and ptsd. I've been on a sick note for well over a year now and I've only just decided to go back to work. I'm so fricken scared! Some days I can't physically get out of bed because I don't sleep due to insomnia from my ptsd nightmares! I don't know what to do at all, and some days I do feel really depressed even though I've not been diagnosed... I don't want to be one of those ignorant people who diagnoses them self with a mental illness, and I don't particularly wanna have another one! They suck so hard, but I literally can't do anything some days! I'm on medication for my anxiety, but it's also an anti depressant! I don't know whether they're making me feel more depressed because I know they're specifically for depression... HALP
54 likesReplies (2)
Maybe your antidepressants are not the right ones? I think sometimes you have to try different ones till you find the ones that are working
0 likesSpecial Kay wow if you dont mind me asking what happened during the surgery that gave you PTSD?
0 likesme everyday
0 likesOh my gosh, I definitely got triggered watching this. I felt every word and it took me BACK. 🥺
0 likesWhy I still don't have a microwave? I would at least eat sth XD
0 likes4:37 wowowowow i wish i could have that much positivity when i'm in a depressive pisode bcs when i am and remember those times when i was out of it and happy and wonder if i'll ever feel like that again i just want to kill myself bcs i feel like it's impossible huehep
0 likesThe only thing I hate about being depressed is that people often tell me I can't be depressed because "You have it so much better than other people". And like, yeah, I do. But if we take the same theory and apply it to happiness, it changes perspectives.
3 likesSomeone else might have won the lottery today. Somebody, somewhere has just gotten their first job, or gotten a promotion. Someone just got to hold their newborn child for the first time, and someone probably got married today too. These people have it so much better than me, so I don't deserve to be happy. Doesn't quite feel right when you compare them, does it?
Happiness or sadness is a personal feeling, and is entirely based on that persons situation. So, if you have a bad day, don't worry about it :) If we didn't have bad days, we'd never know when the good ones came around! ^_^
I’m always negative but I’m not necessarily always sad. I don’t say “I feel sad” I just flick it off. But then I have days in which I know I’m depressed, I wake up and my first thought is “fuck I woke up” and then I eat uncontrollably and cry for the rest of the day.
0 likesHow can she talk about her depression and get all these views and when we all try to off our selves all we get is put in a damn hospital for a week? Where's the fairness?
1 likeReplies (1)
What? She's a professional musician, so of course she is going to get views. If she attempted suicide she would likely get put in a hospital too. She's just expressing herself and people watched it.
0 likesi wonder if i actually have depression
0 likesi’ve never been diagnosed with depression but it’s clear that i probably have depression and it’s really bad
and i don’t wanna do anything but die and cry and stay in my bed all day and listen to songs and make myself feel worse but i can’t because i have school and stuff and other stupid things i have to do all the time
and i rarely feel happy
people say it’ll get better, but it never does, i always feel sad, cold, empty and alone and i don’t wanna do anything
and whenever depression will come up in a conversation my mom just says “can’t they just decide to be happy?” and no that’s not how it works, do you think they want to feel terrible? No, they don’t want to
and now i’m gonna start crying because i feel like a failure and it’s taken me 2 hours to do my math homework and it’s not even hard
life is great
You're lovely 🕊️💞💜💞🕊️
1 likeHow did you put that in words holy fuck
0 likesim feeling less today
2 likesSigh when this is your normal state
0 likesI think I need some help......
0 likesI always wake up in the morning and feel like I’ve been betrayed, depressed and exhausted...
I’ve been going through some weird and tough times....
I feel depressed for no reason and just constantly eating ice and listening to sad music (if you think I mean ice cream well I don’t I mean ice like literally frozen water)
I sometimes go outside at night lie on the lawn and look at the sky and count stars and when I lose count of them I get up and get some ice....is that weird or not?
I've been so depressed lately just from doing nothing, being sick, crying, puffed up eyes, not being able to see, stuffed nose, I just feel so terrible. =(
3 likesExactly this :"(
0 likesit was my biggest fault to think that whenever i'm stressed or anxious i shouldn't make that a 'big deal' because "oh it's just a common stress you will get over it!!" "you are a teenager so it's normal and just ignore it!!" i don't know that that mindset means whenever i'm feeling down i have to push and force myself to ignore (which is impossible) because 'it is not a big deal'. i stress because acne, friends, things i shouldn't worry about, anxiety and many more. every sunday i will get anxious automatically since the second i woke up until night because "tomorrow is the start of your anxiety". i used to try so hard to not absent in school but now i just want to fake my sickness so i won't go to school. the reason is never because i'm lazy but school is like the source of all of my problems. i found no one around me acts like me, feels like me or maybe i just don't know but that makes me so alone. i worry too much about past that people 99.9% doesn't even remember, i think about other people's feelings too much until i forget my own. "i shouldn't say that.. am i too harsh? they must think bad of me.. people will hate me... i'm a failure" one small mistake that no one cares can leads me to those careless thoughts. people think i'm overreacting and at first i thought so too but no i was wrong they are wrong they just don't understand
0 likesReplies (1)
I find that unless u have it you probably aren't going to u Der stand what it's like
0 likesISRS are really helpful, consider it. It's not like the happiness pill, otherwise everybody would take it. It's like you one day stop watching things so so so wrong, I mean, the world still sucks, but you don't wanna die for that. Just 6 months while you do other 'natural' things to feel better. At the begging I was scared I was going to stop being so sensitive, because that's my particular cause of depression, but no, I started to think clearer, maybe less emotional and more reasonable; but still sensitive.
0 likes𝗔 𝘃𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗼 : exists
0 likes𝘆𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗯𝗲 (three years after ) : your recommends!!!
warning.. talks about self harm I get like this a lot, but I have to go to school everyday. Idk how I do it. A few weeks ago I didn’t go to school for a week bc I felt so shit, but then it catches up on me because I have to catch up on the work I missed so I feel stressed and emotionally drained. I’ve reached out to school for help before but they’re not qualified and don’t help. Nothing feels real for me either; it’s like I’m seeing everything and experiencing everything but it’s just not real and like a dream or being high or something but I’ve dealt with depressive episodes for 3/4 years and for about a year I’ve felt numb and it really frustrates me because I don’t know how to feel and then I start spiralling and thinking about self harm. At the start of my “depression” (I haven’t yet been diagnosed) self harm was very much apparent and suicide has always been an escape for me, but I’ve learned to deal with it and realise how upsetting it would be for my family. I know I am loved and I have very supportive family and friends, but nothing seems to help. Some days I feel happier, but I’m ALWAYS feeling like I’m in a dream. Whereas other days I struggle to get out of bed, force myself for school, and then zone out in loud lessons, to the point where I can no longer hear and feel like I’m not there or in my body and someone has to snap me out of it. I have eczema which is not that big of a deal but I scratch when Im feeling sad or frustrated and I don’t even notice I’m doing it half the time until I start bleeding 🥺
0 likes... Am I the only one who heard the Mamrie Hart "Ah Oh!" @3:50
0 likesHave any of you felt so low, so so low that nothing scares you anymore. Your nightmare can stand in front of you, stare you down and you just don’t give a shit?. So low that care is not part of you? Pls I need someone to relate too.
0 likesI related to this video too much :(
0 likesI resonated with every single word. Holy shit.
0 likesdepression isn't a mood, you're not depressed one day and then another day yes, it's always there, you can't say ''I'm depressed TODAY'' I don't understand you lol..
1 likeReplies (2)
raxahax at the begging of the video she mentioned that she wakes up everyday feeling like this....
0 likesThen when she stopped checking in she wasnt realizing it to this extent as often. Then today she didn’t even have to check in she just New that today specifically would be one of those days where it was to that extent.
You can be depressed on days. Some days your brain doesn't work right and nothing feels normal. She didn't say it was a mood, but you can have episodes of depression that come and go. I think it's just clinical depression that never goes away. People can feel depressed and different people can be diagnosed with depression. They can be separate.
1 likeis this goblin dodie?
7 likesedamame mukbang !!
0 likes“Look how depressed I am I don’t even care about the background” well if that isn’t the most millennial thing I’ve heard
90 likesReplies (1)
It does say a lot tho for a YouTuber obsessed with aesthetic and having everything beautiful
8 likesI'm depressed all the time help me
0 likesI hope this will pass.
0 likesSame here.
0 likesI feel tired of tying to h happy
I’m always depressed I’m just empty and heavy Everyday
0 likesThat penguin in the background looks like he gives good hugs.
3 likesI thought that this was a short film...
0 likes6:12 same I'm just like there's nothing to say
0 likesi hope you feel better
0 likesIm depressed too
0 likesif you stood up, you could do comedy.
0 likesdo i want to leave a comment here ? hmmmmm. yea sure why not nobody gives a damn , they will help u , maybe not . just go for it and don’t be so obsessive over small things .
1 likethat was my thought process before typing this. is that normal ? maybe i don’t know , i’ve never talked to anyone about my problems , i just listen to theirs. this video means a lot to me because i realised i’m sad too. a lot. i never really want to do anything. it’s not really like who i used to be. i feel like someone flicked a switch and now i’m sad. a yea ago i was in a toxic friendship , she always blackmailed me with her ‘mental health issues’ i say that with quotation marks because she faked it i’m pretty sure .. yes i’m sure she did .. maybe i’m not sure but anyway she told me that if i didn’t hang out with her she would kill her self and she would self harm. i’m not friends with her anymore but i still see her in school and give her a warm smile but all i want to do is tell her how much she messed me up. one day i fell out with her. i told her that i couldn’t trust her (which i should have found out sooner with bucket fulls of red flags) and then she said that she was going to commit suicide. this hit me hard , not only because she was going to kill herself but because she blamed it on me. i found myself being roped back into that friendship again and i couldn’t bare it anymore so i finally called it off and it was really hard because we did have our good times but most were toxic and smokey , none were really fun and fresh. anyway now that i’m out of that friendship i’m very proud of myself for making the decision and i have moved on but there is this little- no sorry - massive part of my brain that always reminds me that i can’t do anything and i should stay at home and sometimes i can’t ignore it. i thought it was part of growing up and i’m only 13 but i feel like this part of me will never disappear and i will be this girl forever.
i want to get help but i can’t talk to my parents about it because they won’t understand , my friends think i’m faking it, and my cousin who i’m closest to in the world doesn’t care... or well she tells me listening to other people’s mental health problems is draining and she can’t bare it. not even for her own cousin. i’m really sorry about this but it might be healthy for me to put this out there and i would like it if people could talk to me about this because i feel drained and i need help and i know i do but i can’t find the right people .
a little sum up for the people who couldn’t be bothered to read this in detail : i’m sad a lot i feel drained and i was in a toxic friendship in which the “friend” piled all of her problems on me and blackmailed me saying if i left her then she would cut herself and one day she told me she was going to commit suicide because of me and that has stayed in my mind for a year now. i want to get help but people don’t understand and if i start to tell them then they just tell me it’s an age thing ( i’m 13) but i don’t feel like it is , i would say i’m much more mature than any of my friends and classmates , sometimes i say i should be 40 instead of 13 but anyway i just need someone to understand.
katie x
That is lol.. im depressed everyday
0 likesShe's crying.. and I'm 2 years late again.
0 likesSo I know I have depression but sometimes I think omg what if I’m faking it..how would I know like what if I’m over reacting and I’m going to get told that I’m lying, so yeahhh
0 likesyoutube recommend sending signals 😂😂
0 likesi wove you with all my heart
0 likesa depression clinic/treatment/thing ad just popped up on the video omg youtube you did that
2 likesI'm here f9r you we are all cause we love you!!!!
7 likesi feel like this most of the time?
1 likeReplies (1)
Same
0 likesDo you know the feeling that you really need a hug but you don't want to ask for it, because your friends would be worried so you just pretend to be okay, which leads to not getting the comforting hug you need so bad?
0 likesI hate being too good at lying about how I feel. I wish I could tell them that I really feel ugly and not good enough. When they tell me that I'm beautiful, I don't believe them. I want to believe them, I want to believe them so bad. But then I look in the mirror and my tiny confidence crumbles to pieces a disappears. I don't want to die but I don't want to live either.
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Little Bangtan Direction
0 likessame
It feels shit
How are you feeling now ?
0 likes6 fucking months clean bois lets gooo
0 likesI just found you and just here me out loud: I am depressed. I have tried starting a happy mindset, but just please life! Hand me something good for once. I always feel that one piece missing, in my heart. I always feel like life is an illusion, and one day I just won’t exist. I have sadly met depression at a very young age. I was in third grade and I felt like crap. I was scared, and I told my friend. I just want everyone to try to be the happiest you and just be you. I have learned that recently. 😌 I feel like I can just trust everyone here, and just be happy. Have a splendid day, ok?
3 likesWhat I hate the most is when I feel depressed during holidays. I've been in a low for about 2-3 weeks now and it's getting so bad. i'm basically in bed all day, i'm so fucking tired and i can't sleep during the night which is greeat. life feels so pointless right now. i wake up, feel like shit, eat something, go to bed again and after a few hours my mom comes in and complains that all i do is laying in bed.
1 likeit just sucks because i just live. i wake up and the first thought i have is 'shit now i have to do that again' i have no motivation for anything and i'm really so scared that i won't be able to sleep tonight.
wish me luck guys
Replies (3)
Lea Potter Hang in there Lea . You have been struggling for so long but you are still fighting. Depression is a liar . Do not believe it . You have to get up and say F Depression. This is your life . Be that change . Get up call your Doctor and tell him what’s going on . Talk to someone you trust . Celebrate the irreplaceable person you are .You have to have the will to get better . Do not let depression win . Go Volunteer or help out others and you will start to feel better . Eat foods that are high in b vitamins and healthy fats , Protein and greens . Do something that you are passionate about . Live your life like you are in charge . Depression is an unwanted guest and it needs to be kicked out .Love you . Danny
0 likesDanny wow thank you so much. It really means a lot that you took the time to read my comment and to reply.
0 likesThis is what I needed to hear. Thank you. I'm feeling a bit more hopeful now and I will try to get up now and do something useful.
You are so right, I can't let my depression win. I'm more than this. Thank you again mate xx
I hope you're doing well, take care
Anytime Lea .Good Luck #LEA THE CHAMPION.
1 like0:18 skillz
0 likesAren't we all?
0 likesGood luck getting out of there girl
0 likesi dont even do that much. i dont get off bed. havent in 2 months. i havent seen anyone in 2months or talked
0 likesYou should step out of yourself go help other people..learn to love yourself..there are beautiful things in this world and it is your responsibility to find them...
0 likes“Look how depressed I am.” -Dodie Clark. I feel like in this video you’re romanticizing depression. As someone who suffers from depression, I don’t like this video.
0 likesSeems interesting but I can't stand people who talk and chew at the same time. Arg.
0 likesDon't take anti depressents. I've been depressed since i was 12 and I refuse to take anti depressents. 4 of my friends are on anti depressants and they have all god worse. I think the medication does something quite bad to you and you still feel depressed while on them so I try mindfulness that actually helps. Please give mindfulness a try, there is an app called Headspace that has guided meditation which really helps. Meditation is really hard to do but if you keep at it it will eventually work and it will be amazing! Better than putting chemicals in your body that either make you worse or don't help. Use your brain against your brain to help you.
0 likesYou can even message me and I'll help You, I'm always up for helping people because I know how it feels so I'll understand you completly :)
I hope you're well. Keep your chin up, you're doing amazing!
Replies (6)
"Don't take medicine but use this app for meditation". You and your friends are just failing at simple task of taking the medicine properly. Same as Dodie, who drank alcohol after taking antidepressants. And then you complain how bad influence it is. Jesus Christ.
0 likes@DaMihiMortem
0 likesWhat is it you're trying to say here? Is it that medication is better for you than meditation, because if that's what you're trying to say you're dreaming.
@DaMihiMortem
0 likesYou clearly have no clue what you're talking about and don't know one single benefit of meditation. Which is fine, a lot of people don't but don't sit and tell someone they are wrong when you have no idea what you're talking about. That's dangerous.
@Dionne Clelland I know what I am talking about. I did a lot of meditation in the past using various techniques and I know that it won't help fight with depression. At least not without proper medication. So don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. You're the one spreading fake information.
0 likes@DaMihiMortem
0 likesYou might have done different techniques but doesn't mean you done them right or even took other mindful habits into consideration. From what you're saying it looks like you done some meditation and didn't take your time to actually sit and properly meditate. The brain is such an amazing organ, you can and will help depression with meditation, you just have to have patience. It seems you didn't have patience which is why you feel meditation won't help depression. The brain can work wonders. (Through mindfulness and meditation)
@Dionne Clelland You obviously didn't have patience to read through the antidepressant's instructions, since they are designed to help people and they indeed do their job if the one taking them actually puts his/her mind into it and reads drugs' description.
0 likesHi depressed peeps! Just a lil reminder, you are full of worth soon you’ll find it
1 likeAhh this video is me rn
0 likesI been feeling depressed for at least 2 week now it just doesn't seem like it get better I been trying to get myself to go out and do things but it not really same like it helping
0 likesI felt like nobody could actually relate to exactly this
5 likesI just be as depressed as I can be till that gets boring.
0 likesall the enneagram type fours in the chat
0 likeswait I thought this was deleted
3 likesi watch this video so much
1 likecan anyone help me? i kind of understand and experience this, the blackness dodie talks about near the beginning but i don't think i have depression. i've never been diagnosed, i mildly self harmed years ago but it was barely anything terrible. and this blackness only gets triggered when things not even terribly bad, but do get in my way, and i feel low. i get the whole longing thing, and i usually get "low" over things like exams and my potential to fail, sometimes social events, the fact that i'm not good enough for a specific thing, body image issues, not really having anyone to talk to about anything, and missing my friends because i moved. sometimes i just get low for really trivial reasons. i feel like i'm easily put down by small things. so what is that? is it just common sadness? if it is, i'd feel even more pathetic for commenting. rip me
3 likesReplies (1)
justine a You should seek professional help. It won't hurt to just talk to a nice person in real life. ❤️ Much Love.
0 likesi am very depressed. I hate it when people say they are depressed and they just say oh, im so sad. i have to blah blah blah.
0 likeswhen in reality they have no idea how hard it is to be dragged down constantly by sadness and fear, its like being in a cage that is unlocked but you cannot get out because you have trapped yourself. I feel like my friend pretends to be sad for others not to feel bad because they say they are depressed but they are not. Depression sucks. for anyone who says that you are depressed, do research on depression because you might not even be depressed.
i only watch her because shes beautiful.
1 likeReplies (1)
Ferrisvfx how about you watch her for her talent and stop focusing on her outer appearance. She is gorgeous inside and out and has a incredible singing voice. It’s kinda toxic to only be around for appearances.
0 likesU cant be depressed for 1 fking day and the other day ur not depressed
3 likesReplies (1)
r/gatekeeping
0 likesmoze po polsku napisy włączysz
0 likesis binging on dodie vids all day waits for an upload leaves to get food dodie posts
3 likesReplies (1)
but aww dodie i always hope that with these videos you're getting happier because i truly want you to be happy you are such a positive influence in my life
0 likesMe too 😩 I feel horrible. I hope they can fix me because I cannot live like this. I have derealization, depression because of it, anxious everyday.
0 likesIm sad and it’s not okay i swear it’s not okay and it’s not okay to be not okay
0 likesYour out of bed! LOL
0 likesTHC my friend
0 likesOh man do I know those little whimperings hahah depression is a crappy friend and it'd be cool if he didn't want to hang out so much.
74 likesif you sing will be cool
0 likesAm I the only one that loves those soybeans shes eating except I peel the thin skin off after I squeezed the bean outta the pod?
0 likesDoes anyone get it where you feel depressed and you know you're depressed but you force yourself to do things (and hate it). But then you feel bad for feeling bad because its sunny and it would be a waste of a good day. But its not a good day because everything seems dull and uncomfortable, like you're out of your element even though everything's the same. I need to know if I'm alone in this. That's how I've felt all day and I hate it. Send help
0 likesThis is real this is me today
0 likesi relate:/
82 likesReplies (2)
this is actually exactly what i've been feeling lately put into words
18 likesBeth Marie me too man :(
7 likesI feel so depressed rn and to be honest I just want to die but at least I only have like 9 hours left of my life
0 likesWeird flex but ok...
4 likesyou sound like my ex :D
0 likesi am
0 likesSo, if I feel like this a lot should I be seeing a therapist? I mean I feel like this the majority of my life, so should I get help or... Just work my way through it? I don't know on days like this my parents just think I'm being emotional, and after watching this and realizing that, yeah, I have depression. How will I let them know that like I might actually need help for this? I don't know anymore, I'll probably just work through it so they don't have to worry about me more than they already do.
11 likesReplies (4)
Ella Hertzenberg Obviously you don't HAVE to do anything, but it certainly helps. I've been seeing a therapist for over a year now, and I didn't go to therapy for a specific diagnosis and haven't been diagosed with anything. I judt felt like it would improve my "life quality" (if that's the right term) It helps you understand yourself on a much deeper level and provides a certain sense of comfort that you can't get from anything else. You can confide in them about anything as they don't know anyone you might talk about so they are able to analyse the situation objectively and they always ask the right questions as it is their job. Coming to the convincing your parents however, that is slightly trickier, but still possible. I think the most important thing is expressing how normal therapy is and how even high functioning people who don't have any sort of mental illness can go to therapist for stress relief and such. There's a lot of stigma around therapy so make sure that they understand that not just severely ill and "crazy"
3 likesa nonsensical but common word that others tend to associate with therapyseek psychological counseling. I'm 16, and at the beginning my mum was pretty sceptical about whether simple talking would solve my problems and she felt hurt because she thought I didn't trust her enough to talk about my issues with her. Making sure that your parents understand therapy isn't a chat with someone that you pay a lot of money for is crucial. Therapists are trained professionals, so they can make you comprehend and reveal things about yourself using several techniques that a mundane person cannot. It is also important to mention that there's no shame in going to therapy. You don't have to take medication, or have a proper diagnosis to need some guidance. I'm sure your parents will understand how it'll benefit you and allow you to try it out if you genuinely believe that it'll help and you express yourself honestly. Sorry for the length of this message, hope this helps xxAnd just a quick addition, if things aren't seriously destroying your life or impairing your ability to function, you don't absolutely have to go to therapy so please go if you want to and believe that it can help you becoming a better person, not because you feel obliged to. 😊😊😊
3 likesIrmak Genc Thank you so much! You cleared up a lot of things for me, I'll talk to them about it and see what they think I should do. Once again, thank you!
3 likesI'd say, if your unsure get a therapist. It's better to work your way though something with a supporter, than alone.
0 likesI’m depressed..I told my “wife” Mia and it was she was disappointed in me for being depressed..any advice
0 likesReplies (2)
Depression comes naturally your wife should understand you cant help it neither can she try to understand eachother and remember its not in your hand and if you can afford go to therapy
1 likeShould have used comas oh well
0 likesI feel bad I am sorry for you 😔😕
0 likesdepressed yet she still has the motivation to make a video
0 likesI love you
1 likeme too I’ve had a pretty horrible day
0 likesCool 🖒
0 likesI am not sure if I am depressed. To be really honest - and I know this sounds like complete bullshit and probably is but anyways - I somehow want to be depressed. I don't know why. To identify my problems? To get attention? To have an excuse for my laziness? I don't know.
0 likeswelcome to another episode of why is this on my recommended does youtube know something?
0 likesThis "WHEEO" at 3:52 really confuses me... I have no idea where it's coming from...
3 likesanyway - we all love you so much! And we'll always listen and will always be here for you! xx
wtf XD I dont check my anxiety I just know >.>
0 likesYou are depressed, yet you make a video about it. Legit as fuck.
0 likesReplies (7)
FireAndFlame dodie has spoken before about how youtube is her outlet for how she is feeling. She wants to share to make people feel less alone and to make herself feel better. No human would pretend to be depressed.
0 likes@Georgia She shares shit because she demands attention. YouTube is her outlet? Don't forget about snapchat, twitter and instagram. She's the definition of oversharing.
0 likesFirst words in this video: "Look how depressed I am." - highlighting to make people feel sorry about her.
She's so depressed that she puts efford into making this movie and lies about it in the movie itself.
FireAndFlame she has made a full video about over sharing on social media. She explains it in why she shares so much
0 likesAlso she speaks about her mental health journey a lot and has actually shown her journey with the different approaches she has taken to combat it including drugs and therapy. She’s not going to be lying about all that. No one would carry on that narrative for so long
@Georgia In one video she literally said that she needs her depression for her "art". She admitted it. Ask anyone with depression if they feel like they need it for some reason. No one wants that. Yet she wants and makes her persona all about it. Which person with depression acts like her?
0 likesFireAndFlame
0 likesYes, no one with depression wants it, obviously! She doesn’t want it, she just uses it for her art, there’s a big difference. It’s not like someone with depression can just go ‘you know what, I need to be depressed so I can use this emotion’ it’s more like ‘I’m feeling this way and I can’t help it but I can use this emotion for something’
Btw, going back to why she is making a video on this here is a direct quote from the oversharing video:
It’s easier to talk to a camera. It’s like I wanna open up. I am talking and getting it out there technically to people but I’m talking to myself. I can’t see anyone’s reaction.
@DaMihiMortem LOTS of musicians and artists alike have used their bad mental state to create art. Songs, books, paintings, etc. She's not the only one.
0 likes@amiablehacker And how many of them brag about their depression every few minutes? How many of them admit that they need it? I bet not many.
0 likesMy natural state is that bad.... 😕
0 likesDoes it ever actually get better?
0 likesReplies (1)
It can get better and you can find yourself healed from that illness(that image can be not possible to even see, I understand I remembered this exact thought and I couldn't in any way belive or imagine that I could wake up in calm and safety).
0 likesIt's worth this unfair hard work to be healed and function and feel loved.
Suddenly Pineapples...
0 likesMy worst mistake was turning to drugs. Legal drugs, but drugs no less. Drugs that make you dissociate... and I have a dissociative disorder. These drugs have since brought to the surface a panic disorder I haven’t experienced in years, and social anxiety which I didn’t think I experienced (I have GAD). I personally think some people need drugs when they’re depressed to be able to feel again, just so it motivates them to continue with the battle. I just managed to get myself addicted. And of course, professionals only want to treat the addiction first, and not the underlying issues
0 likesI am crying everything like every single thing. I can't find my pants i sit and cry, i can't pratice drawing,dance or music (which i love them so much) i sit and cry. My mom usually doesn't see me crying cause i don't want to make her upset. I can't talk with people anymore. This year was my first year in high school but i chouldn't feel like having friends at all. I am so fucking lonley. I didn't talk with any friend of mine for whole holiday. I stared to go fine art school which i work my ass of for geting there but i can't feel happy. I feel tired all the time i can't finish the things i stared to make. I feel scared and dirty. My family says "What happend your light in your eyes please don't be like this." İt's not like i wanted to be like this! Sometimes i just want to go as far i can so i can be alone. I feel like idiot cause i think that i am like this cause i just want attention. No one see how i actually feel. At nights i can't sleep cause i am thinking so much,when i almost sleep my hearts strats beat like crazy and my body starts to falter then i wake up. I stop trying to be happy. When people asks me like "What is the happiest moment in your life?' I can't anwser. Am i going to be ok? İs this normal?
0 likesReplies (1)
You will be okay.
0 likes03:47 AHAHAHAHA AWWWW
0 likesI love you 💛✨🎶
20 likesReplies (1)
Jessica.loves.to.sing ur cute
0 likesHuh. Don't think I should have watched this. I feel even worse. What a shit day. X(
0 likeswow, im not alone...
0 likesDepression is a widespread condition, affecting millions of people, Christians and non-Christians alike. Those suffering from depression can experience intense feelings of sadness, anger, hopelessness, fatigue, and a variety of other symptoms. They may begin to feel useless and even suicidal, losing interest in things and people that they once enjoyed. Depression is often triggered by life circumstances, such as a loss of job, death of a loved one, divorce, or psychological problems such as abuse or low self-esteem.
0 likesThe Bible tells us to be filled with joy and praise (Philippians 4:4; Romans 15:11), so God apparently intends for us all to live joyful lives. This is not easy for someone suffering from situational depression, but it can be remedied through God’s gifts of prayer, Bible study and application, support groups, fellowship among believers, confession, forgiveness, and counseling. We must make the conscious effort to not be absorbed in ourselves, but to turn our efforts outward. Feelings of depression can often be solved when those suffering with depression move the focus from themselves to Christ and others.
Clinical depression is a physical condition that must be diagnosed by a physician. It may not be caused by unfortunate life circumstances, nor can the symptoms be alleviated by one’s own will. Contrary to what some in the Christian community believe, clinical depression is not always caused by sin. Depression can sometimes be caused by a physical disorder that needs to be treated with medication and/or counseling. Of course, God is able to cure any disease or disorder. However, in some cases, seeing a doctor for depression is no different than seeing a doctor for an injury.
There are some things that those who suffer from depression can do to alleviate their anxiety. They should make sure that they are staying in the Word, even when they do not feel like it. Emotions can lead us astray, but God’s Word stands firm and unchanging. We must maintain strong faith in God and hold even more tightly to Him when we undergo trials and temptations. The Bible tells us that God will never allow temptations into our lives that are too much for us to handle (1 Corinthians 10:13). Although being depressed is not a sin, one is still accountable for the response to the affliction, including getting the professional help that is needed. “Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name” (Hebrews 13:15).
Gian Giorgio Trissino
Both I and J were used interchangeably by scribes to express the sound of both the vowel and the consonant. It wasn't until 1524 when Gian Giorgio Trissino, an Italian Renaissance grammarian known as the father of the letter J, made a clear distinction between the two sounds.
I'm surprised I'm not seeing any comments advising against SSRIs
0 likesHah I don't feel anything anymore no emotions like happiness or stress but my therapist says it's depression but I'm not sad or anything and she is going to talk to some other therapists so idk but because of this I have been able to stand up for myself with out feeling scared. There's a bonus. Everything gets better I know :)
6 likesPast generations:
2 likes2019: I'm depressed today
1.6 MILLION VIEWS
I remember people telling me what is wrong with you are you depressed??? Are you sad??? Why are you always worried and low?? And I always used to deny it and say no!!!! I m happy, I am positive , I am fine. Today I realise I am not! I need help but I don't have the money, I am an Indian, Indian parents don't understand this illness they think I am just sad and stressed and will be fine, so they won't pay for treatment, I am scared!! I don't want to quit one day lay dead in bed and make my dad regret not paying attention to me. I hate him for not paying attention but I don't want him to blame him when I am gone. I still wish I am fine but I am clearly not.
0 likesPoor little thing, I am depressed my every fucking day
0 likesI don’t think many people are truly predisposed to depression, at least not as many as doctors tell us. I don’t believe your chemicals become unbalanced for no reason. I spent years thinking there was something wrong with my brain. Then I realised there were lifestyle factors that came into play. Being inside, away from natural light all day will depress you. Sitting/lying around all day will depress you. Being alone will depress you. How can you not overthink yourself into existential anxiety in that situation? It’s normal. Having low self esteem and self-defeating, fatalistic thought patterns will depress you. I know it’s hard to overcome all these habits when you’re depressed, but the thing is, they further contribute to your depression. We’re social creatures whose happy chemicals do a little dance when we’re in the sun, socialising, being active, being present, keeping busy, and being kind to ourselves. Diet is another thing that comes into play. Eating lots of sweets and carbs is depressing. Most of us don’t eat enough good fats. I wish doctors didn’t lie to us and say “oh some people are just born this way. Here’s an SSRI” without warning you of all the side effects these drugs often cause. I’m not opposed to antidepressants but I think people should at least try to be aware of their lifestyle habits before dumping drugs into their system for an artificial mood boost. I don’t know you and your story, and I’m not necessarily referencing you when I say all this. Just anyone who might be reading
0 likesI've been to a mental hospital and need anti depressents. But u really don't need to be checked if u have depression. Lololololololol
0 likesF
0 likesI'm going to a residential home cuz nothing's working and my mental state just keeps getting worse and worse it fucking sucks
0 likes3:58 oh that’s what that is
0 likeshey dodie, what were you eating? I've never seen that in my life
8 likesReplies (16)
Tamires Almeida Im pretty sure they're Sugar Snap Peas! They're really nice with some salt or in a stir fry. :) EDIT; Sorry they are not actually that, they look like them though haha. She says what they are near the end, some sort of bean
0 likes@Water Needed she just said it was beans! now I'm confused
0 likesTamires Almeida Yea I'm not sure haha (read edited previous comment <3)
0 likes@Water Needed I think we both commented before watching the whole thing 😂
2 likesIt's edamame. I think they're technically young soybeans. They're really great
6 likesTamires Almeida soybeans, they are called edamame.
1 like@Rebekah Gentry never heard of it in my entire life, wow
0 likesyou have to try them!!! they're so good! especially with a little salt sprinkled over them!!! you eat the beans inside the pod!! they serve them at most japanese restaurants & have some in the frozen section of trader joes!
1 like@lea I don't like beans at all :/
0 likeslol nevermind don't try them HAHAHAHA
1 like@lea and I'm pretty sure I will never be able to find them here 😂
0 likesThey're edamame. It's a type of bean, and not sugar snap peas though they do look similar. The difference is mainly that you eat them cooked, and that they are not as sweet. (In fact they are typically served with salt to advance the non sweet taste) they are also not part of the pea family. Another difference is that you cannot eat the skin of an edamame bean, where you can on a sugar snap pea. You should try them with a bit of salt after being boiled, very tasty indeed. You pop the individual kernels out of the skin. (: also, if you wish to try sugar snap peas you can eat the skin as well. Some parts are a bit stringy.
5 likesHappy pea and bean eating!
@MarbleGray thank you!
0 likesNo problem.. I just read that over and that was a very long winded comment. I suppose I lean towards writing long things. (:
0 likes@MarbleGray it's alright! I liked it :)
0 likesAlrighty. (:
0 likesim bored *huh, lets be depressed today*
0 likesSo here is the real talk..
0 likesI just watch this every day that I feel depressed just so I can feel that someones feels the same way. Thank you, Dodie.
0 likesI know exactly how this feels. I go through these at this level about once or twice a year. It's usually almost as bad throughout the year though... At least I've started therapy and medication which helped me a ton. I think you described these episodes really well. Thank you Dodie. <3
0 likesI've never related to you and felt so close to you than right now. You're so incredible. Thank you! ❤️
0 likesnothing can help me feel so much less lost and unhappy as this video helps. thank you, dodie
0 likesWow. I’ve never been able to explain what my depression feels like until now. It’s so weird and awesome to know that somebody out there feels nearly exactly the same way you feel. Makes you feel like you aren’t alone.. thank you for this. I woke up very depressed today, but this video eased it up a little bit.
0 likesThanks for making this! Felt like you read out of my mind ❤
0 likesI watch this on every one of my bad days and I want to thank you for making it because this is how I feel and it's described so well. On some days even knowing you're understood helps even if it's the smallest bit of feeling better, even if you're a -1 on the scale of 1-10 of happiness, even if I get to a 0, it helps. It's still bad but slightly better and that's small victories. I don't know if I explained this well tho. Most importantly - thank you so so much, Dodie.
0 likesI love you dodie. I know you’re feeling okay now, but you’re okay. Everything’s okay. Depression episodes is okay. We’re okay <3
0 likesi constantly come back to this video when I'm depressed and it somehow helps a lot. makes me feel not as alone.
1 likeI needed this video so much. I feel alone in my feelings when I get depressed, this is helping me feel not so alone. Thank you. This perfectly describes everything i feel
0 likesthis will always be one of my favorite dodie videos
0 likesI can express how good it feels to watch something so honest. To feel like I can be honest. I’ve recently been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and trying to figure it out has been so hard
0 likesI relate to this a lot! It's so hard to explain it to other people, they're always like don't be sad, everything is ok, you'll be fine, look at everything you have, do something that cheers you up, etc etc and they don't get it so finding people that feel the same way it's a good thing! thanks for sharing!
0 likesThis is beautiful! 💞
0 likesI zoned out for a sec and came back to you describing the exact feeling that I was having and it was perfect thank you
0 likesI love this so much. I shouldn't say that but I do. When you mentioned the longing that never get satisfied, I really just had a moment of such deep relating to that sentence.
1 like4 months later and I'm rewatching it 💝💖💗💞💘💓💕 love you dodie, thank u soo much for everything! What would I do without you tbh
0 likesYou made everything clear for me, I knew it wasn’t just my natural state I had been feeling for so long
0 likesThank you for putting words on my feelings ❤
0 likesWhenever i try to explain what depression feels like to me i cant. And its really hard to get people who dont get it to get it. This video explained everything perfectly. idk you just said everything i try to say but cant quite find the words to. Thank you so much for making this video and i really hope you have less days like this
0 likesIm so glad you shared this, I think in this point I can really sympathize with you (not only in that but whatever). Thank you for the stuff you do. Bye
0 likesAMEN, this is the only thing today making me smile while being depressed. It's so accurate and even funny when you can relate
2 likeseverything you said is so true, i’ve never known how to describe it but this is exactly it.
0 likesI’m proud of her. When I’m depressed I can barely even stand up and she’s making a YouTube video.
0 likesI always watch this when I’m on bad days and if people don’t understand how I am I get them to watch this .....it always helps
1 likePersonally, the hardest part of dealing with depression is watching my family trying their best to cheer me up while I just stand there completely empty and numb
0 likesI think Dodie is the most real YouTuber I know, and I love it 🖤🖤
0 likesThank for being you I watch this whenever I'm feeling just as depressed as you in this video and it makes me laugh cause I relate way to much I love you
0 likesShe gives me hope because she seems like the most positive depressed person I’ve seen😀
0 likesIt’s so nice to know someone else feels this way
0 likesdamn, I wish I was able to snack on healthy stuff like that when I’m feeling depressed. I usually end up binging and purging multiple times in a row. fun times
0 likesI always come to this video when i feel bad again, it makes me feel like i am not lonely
0 likesI originally watched this video when you first put it out and I didn't quite grasp it because I wasn't in a depressed sort of state at the time. I have depression and have for years. For me, it's one of those things where, when you're not depressed you don't know or really remeber how it feels. Then all at once it can hit you. Like you, it comes and goes and lately it's been pretty heavy and gross. Finding this video just opened my eyes and made me realize, it's truly not just me. Everything you said and described is exactly how I feel and how I get when I'm depressed. Thank you for sharing Doddie, I wish I could meet you and hug you and just have a deep conversation with you.
0 likesThis is precious... i love u for making this bcuz this is how I feel some days (I never knew why tho), this clears things up so much and I love u so much
0 likesThe way I describe depression (in my experience) is like being unwillingly inside a box and then after a few hours I just noticed I'm outside it and I'm free. Then the next day I wake up back inside the box and I have to wait an unspecific timer for me to miraculously go outside.
0 likesFor some reason her voice and accent made me feel so happy and comfortable. And she literally didn’t even try and this video was still perfect I’m confused
0 likesI can relate to the longing part so much. I love performing and my dream is to make movies. But feeling hopless leaves me unable to even start working on anything really. I feel like I need things, but it feels like I will never get them. It used to feel temporary, but lately it's been my normal. And this is terryfing. I feel numb and just watch everything, I watch life pass me by. And the possibility of ruining my future because of that makes me also anxious. My dream is to get into acting/film school and I don't feel like I have the power in me to even try. This is so annoying.
0 likesThank you for sharing that.
i relate so much, you literally can feel it
0 likesugh i relate to all of this so much...esp when you talked about derealization feeling like being blind. whenever im dissociated theres that feeling of not actually seeing anything thats in front of you! horrible sensation, like you can never really Get At whats going on, you cant look hard enough to SEE
0 likesi usually can't relate to anyone around me, so its good being able to find comfort on a random person's words. thank you, doodle.
0 likesthanks for making this it helps me get through my depression
0 likesI understand this so much. I never had the words to articulate this feeling
0 likesI feel this 100% but I’m not diagnosed so I don’t feel like I can say I am depressed or depersonalized which only makes me feel worse. On top of that my friends bash me when I’m not happy and that just sinks me down more and it’s just all no bueno but hey at least I have your videos which help a t o n, thank you for making these💖
0 likesI was feeling really bad today and this made me feel immediately better
0 likesThis is amazing. Also everyone look up Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). It numbs you and blocks you from your own emotions, and emotions are what make you feel alive, more connected to yourself/others/the world, what makes the world seem more real and "vivid". I've struggled with both CEN and various dissociative disorders including derealization / depersonalization. The world seems distant, foggy, life is pointless, and people can seem like hallow machines. Can I connect with them? Are they even real? Is this world real? I don't feel connected to anything, not even my own sense of self (I've changed something major about my identity about 5 times in the past year). CEN is at the root of a lot of people's issues, even if you feel you had a happy childhood. It can be extremely subtle, thus the more sensitive you are by nature the more susceptible you are to developing CEN. It's about receiving a lack of emotions growing up, not about active, direct abuse. But emotional neglect rewires, distorts, and rots your mind and soul. It can be healed though, it just can sometimes be hard to heal what we don't know is wrong. Emotional neglect/trauma is at the root so many problems in society.
0 likesThis is so brave of you. Sometimes, on worse days, i grow quiet for so long that i forget how to form sentences .
0 likesThis is amazing and accurate. Thank you
0 likesDon’t be sad Dodie
0 likesWe all love youuuuuuuuu
Thank you for this. It also reminded me I need to take my meds tonight. I was about to go to sleep without taking them
0 likesThank you for making this I’m watching this again because Ive been really really depressed lately again,thank you
0 likesi watch this every time i get a depressive/ anxiety episode and idk dodie putting into words EXACTLY what im feeling?! like i feel so so weird feeling these things (rotting! my brain really does feel rotting) i feel even more down bc im like wtf even are you but then i watch this and just knowing that im not the only one, as sad as it is that anybody else has to go through this, it just makes it... somehow more... medical? i guess? idk it just makes me feel more normal and sometimes i need this. also secrets for the mad always makes me cry when im like this so dodie just THANK YOU
0 likesTHIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL.
0 likesYou’ve posted this on my birthday. I feel you girl
0 likes“look at her-!” SUMMER YES.
0 likesthat was literally my first instinct.
i hope you feel good, i love youuuu!
Thank you for your authenticity (and enduring creativity!).
0 likesI felt this way today , thank you
0 likesDont worry dodie, you'll be fine. :)
0 likesthis is pretty much my favorite video on the internet 💛
1 likeI adore your hair and this is a fab video 🌻❤️
0 likesI love you. I know you will never read this comment but I love you. I truly eternally love you, Dodie. You are my idol and inspiration. I love you I love you I love you
0 likesI feel exactly the same!!! Today was a good day and I hope that tomorrow will be good too, but to be honest: I have no idea if I will be able to go to school.....I hope so....
0 likesGreetings from Austria and than you for this Video! 😘
I feel this way some days too. There was one day in particular where it was so bad I did nothing to try and fix it.
0 likesOne thing I caught myself feeling lately is the fear of not being depressed anymore. Which is weird and ridiculous. But when you have depression for so long you kinda get yourself lost in it, like, what is the mental illness and what is just part of my personality, y'know? And despite depression being awfull and I optimistically treating it, I wonder: who am I gonna be without it?
0 likesWow. That was powerful.
0 likesThis is so refreshing <3
0 likesFunny or sad I don't know but your video has made me feel better because I feel depressed right now. I know exactly how you have explained.
0 likesI'm surprised at how much I relate to this.
0 likesI feel exactly how you feel honestly
0 likesFor I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
0 likesIsaiah 41:13 NIV
My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the Lord ; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.
Psalms 84:2 ESV
God can help you through your depression. He helped me through mine. Trust Him. He loves you so much and wants you.
I go here every time I feel depressed.
1 likeI went to the doctor today and she confirmed that I am depressed. I feel like something has been validated for me but at the same time I'm thinking "shit, now there's no way around it. I have something really wrong with me." It is really not a good feeling. I'm going to a psychiatrist soon to talk to me and see about anti-depressants, but I just feel like shit.
0 likesI don't know how many times I've watched this but it makes me realise I am not the only one and ahh dodes ily your so inspiring khvtssbj
0 likesSo.... the way you explained the feeling of being depressed is honestly a bit scary to me. I feel like I've experienced the same things. Nothing seems real and all you can think of is the past when you had fun and then miss those times and want to be there...And long for those times to be real again, but they can't... I truly love you and your videos.... you are a person I look up to. You deserve far more than the most fancy-est teas in the world and the most joyous times. Keep trying to do things that make you happy. You have thousands of people who support and care about you. You do great, and you can't stop us from saying it.
0 likesMay your days not always have a raincloud above them, and let some shine brighter than the sun.
This was great ❤️
0 likesYou can be proud that you could actually get up, get food and make a video
0 likesWhen i watch i think eh i dont have depression. Then when im having an episode i don't even question it. Its just there.
0 likesI can relate to this so much
0 likesThese videos are helping me so much! Oh god i'm so sad right now...
0 likesI miss being a lil kid those were my happy moments.
0 likesI am drunk watching this and... the only thing that's hitting me is the fact that you've editted this to be beautiful still.... this is you... but it's still editted to be the better doddie... and I love it... Even though you are MESSED UP ... you still are able to fix it... to make a video about it... I'd love to do that one day...
0 likes"I'll go outside and I'll just feel hopeless. And like well this is shit. I don't want to be out when it's nice and feel nothing. I'll go back in!" Mood 2018 -Naila
0 likesI have depression, and a lot of the time I feel like I can
0 likesalmostrelax, but there’s this thing, like this small gap that I always feel in my chest, and the fact that it’s always there means that I’m never happy. That’s the only way I can describe this, and still nobody gets itThank you so much for making this video!!!
0 likesI watch Rick & Morty when I'm depressed, too.
0 likesFor all of you guys saying that's not "real depression" please take into consideration that depression is different for every single person. Please don't judge someone else's depression based on your own. Just shhh
0 likesI love you, thank you for your honesty
0 likesi love you for being so sincere, but i'm so sad you have to deal with that bullsh*t
0 likesThank you so much. I relate so much. Thank you
0 likesI didn’t have a ride to school today so I couldn’t go. It’s okay though because I really needed a break because I woke up and knew I was depressed. I’m very glad I got to have a free day and I’m not sure why but watching this makes me feel better when I feel like this.
0 likesAwwww honey I hope you feel better x
0 likesThis was the first video of Dodie I ever watched
0 likesI feel like you on your off day is me on a normal day. Which is kinda sad but I do try to find something to pick me up or help me feel better. Today wasn't one of those days so I searched for this video to see what it's like from another point of view. But even this wasn't the help needed. I have called hotlines and police stations looking for more help other than "suicide is not the answer" I have tried that and have come to that realization on my own but I feel down all the time because I am constantly getting picked on in my family. I am 27 and feel like I am not going to go anywhere or do anything important because I have only known this role of being the scapegoat or the "problem". All in all thank you for showing me another point of view.
0 likesThat rant had me crying
0 likesThis sounds rly dumb but whenever I’m feeling vry depressed and shitty I always just hear dodie’s voice when she’s like “GHHHH IM SO DEPRESSDDDD” in this vid and tbh same
0 likesThx for making this when you were explaining how you feel when you know your depressed I know how you feel cause I also do the same things
0 likesComing back to this video when I feel down
0 likesOmg this is the first video I've watch and she's sooo adorable
0 likesI can relate to your pain...
0 likesI don't feel like living when I'm depressed.. no food! no sleep! no self-love! I just stay in my bed doing nthg and crying with no reason sometimes.. words can't describe more so have a nice day y'all
0 likesI'm feeling like this, now I feel something. Thanks :o, I feel something!
0 likesalmost everyday I get these 'attacks' is what I call them...but I'm so unsure of what they are, I could get them at the most random times I just feel numb I feel like someone just pressed the 'shut down' button I feel so alone and like I don't wanna do anything sometimes...actually a lot of times I get them at school & when people ask me why I'm so sad I tell them "I'm fine, just a little tired" because I don't know how to explain it it's so hard, and this comment probably makes no sense but as I said I don't know how to explain it. (I know no one has the time to read this, but it just feels a bit better to put my feelings into words.)
3 likesI'm hoping you live happily ever after... if you love food plz come to Malaysian...
0 likesdear Dodie Clark, this is gonna be a good day and here's why
0 likeswhen you have depression sometimes you feel like you have an empty soul .. there is noting you can do and there is noting to cheer you up .. the only way for it to move on no matter what (copping with it)l
0 likesDepression is long moment sometimes even years,but please not one day
1 likeFeeling this way right now. Felt this way for forever..don’t know if it’s gonna get better and I’m thinking maybe it’s just my personality.
0 likesthis is how i am all the time only i have way less energy
0 likesi relate a lot to this (seriously like the accuracy is weird) but i guess i don't have the visual part
0 likesIt is bad that I feel like this all the time?
0 likesive never related to something more in my entire life
0 likesI'm always depressed.
1 likeLITERALLY ME DEFINED IN A VIDEO THIS IS SO REASSURING
1 likeSo I know this video is a lil on the older side, but to everyone who drops by: what do you do for someone who’s depressed??
0 likesOk that's me everyday ...
0 likesYou could try fingerpainting. ..idk seeing lots of colours blend together gives me so much happiness... btw I'm just like you . Much love.
0 likesoh, that came at the perfect timing!!!!!
2 likesWhat fucks me up about depression is the constant overthinking, in those days I just want my brain to be stupid, to not thinking about anything but of course it is impossible.
0 likesIf what she said in the video is depression... then I have been depressed for 2 months. Which is weird because my life is okay right now...
0 likesme everyday🤦🏻♀️
0 likesThis is so true.
0 likesBut depression isn't something that just comes and goes. You said you're depressed "today" but it doesn't work that way. Depression lasts at least 2 solid weeks. Otherwise it is just sadness.
0 likesthis is the best video on this topic i have ever seen
0 likespartly it's an ASMR video :D
0 likesI only got out of bed at 7h30PM today and my anxiety as at an all-time high. Blegh... and I'm bein forced to spend the weekend away from home, sharing a house with people I don't even freaking know. Kill me now.
0 likesI relate thank you I guess
0 likesAlthough I can’t relate to this 100% I came here for a reason
0 likesSometimes my mind just makes up a perfect storm and when something minor that isn’t even that bad happens to me, I loose it. All the chemicals and emotions along with the fear and anxiety, I just go down into a black hole and I can’t get out one thought will lead to another until I pull out the worst in me and I go into a depressive phase where I just think everything is my fault and my life doesn’t have a purpose and nothing seems okay.
I don’t even know what I’m saying goodnight guys
Replies (4)
Hello I'm back for the same reason
0 likesHey I'm back, you know what that means 😛☺️♥️💋☝️😝💕🙏
0 likesOh hey I'm back again. I think I figured something out; I don't have depression, because on the days where I'm depressed there is a cause for it and I know why I feel this way.
0 likesI’m back not cause I’m depressed but because I wanted to know what kind of beans she was eating cause they looked really good in this vid. I don’t rlly get depressed anymore thank god. This is character development lol
0 likesYes
0 likessomeone put it into words.
0 likesoh nice. edamame are my go-to depression snack
0 likesReplies (1)
it's fucking sad im back here, a year later, still depressed.
0 likesmaybe a little more depressed this time.
but she put it into words. its comforting to know someone else feels the same way that i do. i truly love dodie.
“I am depressed today”
1 likeMe: cries cause dodie deserves to be happy
Next video suggested
“Daniel and depression”
me: cries cause dan is too special to be sad
if Phil comes out with a depression video I swear to god imma lose it
I don't think i have depression or anxiety or any mental illnes like this.
0 likesI have a mixture of a few of them though.
There are days when i feel very close to what you describe here. One day i had a really bad day when this mixed with anxiety and stress and i spent hours crying feeling i am useless, worthless, know nothing, can't do anything properly, have no skills at anything.
Some days i feel perfectly normal. No sunshine any rainbows but also no storms and wind. Just a day. Calm.
Then i have confusing days. I go through so many moodswings i don't even know who i am at the end of the day. Usually when i wake up feeling really good, give it an hour or two and i'll be trying not to cry without a reason.
I have a few blocks(as i call them) in my mind. Those are things that i just try to avoid at any cost. For example, i start crying easily without a slight reason. The thing is, that i absolutely can't stand crying in front of people. That's a block fot me. My family knows it and we've made a rule that they won't mention when they see i'm about to cry. That really helps me keep the tears inside and feel less worthles. But when someone mentions it i just go into hysteria and start screaming at them. I have little to no control over this.
The crying has been a big problem for me. The thing is anytime i feel slightly uncomfortable or i don't understand something i become super desperate which leads to tears. This is preventing me from getting angry. I always start crying out of desperation before i get to feel anger. The problem is, everybody needs to vent anger sometimes. I don't get to. I'm terrified it's just building up in me and i'm a timed bomb now. I belive that this might be why i break into hysterical screaming.
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Btw i recomend everyone, even those who feel good to write down something like i did. Like a summary of your mental state. It really helps you put things into perspective because you need to find a way to understanding them before you can put it into words that other people would understand.
0 likesDo not remind yourself of your mental state every day. Just once sum it up and it might help you find a way to cope with it or understand yourself (which makes you feel better)
I wish i could allow myself to treat myself softly and kindly but nope
0 likesSame
0 likesSame
0 likes@me when I don’t have my antidepressants
0 likesi love your video but you're either depressed in general or you're having a bad day. but you're not 'depressed today'.
0 likesReplies (1)
anna lena sometimes people have depressive episodes
1 likeNot everyone's depression is the same
Sometimes with depressions, some days are a lot worse than others
I need to show this to people because Im just so bad at explaining this.
0 likes♥️ Thankyou
0 likesI want to give you a massive hug
3 likesMe everyday
0 likesthis made me cry, I'm 12 and I feel like I'm slowly getting depression, and I'm scared like hell, I should be enjoying my fricking childhood, yet I get panic attacks and cry myself to sleep, it sucks it really sucks. my best friend is parting away because she found another friend who (funnily enough was our enemy and is now my bully) my ex best friend is wanting to become my friends again and I'm having social problems. my teacher chose me as a main character of a play and I can't say my lines whitout stuttering even when I'm alone let alone in a stage. I've been fighting with my mom a lot and ah I hate life a lot now.
172 likesReplies (64)
It'll be okay. :)
1 likeI hope it does because I'm done.
7 likesDalia Ahmed keep fighting
4 likesDalia Ahmed try to keep going, try to enjoy little things even if it doesn't work most of the time
4 likesI think a lot that while I want something to be over already, I don't want my time to rush away as well. If you find something you enjoy for yourself between the horrible things, I think it helps.
Honestly I can see how overwhelming your problems are. You can do it and they will pass, there will be new things that make life hard but you will get better at handling them until there will be no more tears.
I discovered that most of my nights crying were because I valued opinions of others about me more than my own opinion. They still occur but the realization helped me? I know every situation is different, but maybe it will help you too
Please seek some help - go to a counselor at school or your doctor. Depression is very common and there are tools available to you to help you get through this difficult time! Being your age can really suck, but as a 20 year old who was depressed as a young teen I just want I express how important it is that you not attempt to go through any of this alone. It won't work and it's not worth it. Find a healthy therapeutic outlet and talk to a professional. Best of luck
8 likesHi sweetheart! Don't be afraid, I was there when I was your age too. Deep breath, stay calm... think about every little things that make life so beautiful. Sun is out, you are able to walk, to talk, to see. You are here. Feel blessed for that. If you feel so terrible, talk to your parents, go to a terapist... it's really useful. My terapist saved me life! I'm 27 now, I didn't have an easy and fricking childhood or teenage years BUT I'm who I am today because of that, and I'm grateful for that too. A big hug to you! Seek for help if you need it!
11 likesDalia Ahmed you should probably spend less time on the internet
0 likesit'll be okay! i know it doesn't seem like that now, but push on through and there will be light. I was in your situation at that age, not to devalue your emotions but puberty is dang hard. So don't be scared that you have depression, you're obviously going through a very tough time right now and your body and mind is reacting accordingly. Remember there is no evidence that this will last! Maybe talk to your teacher about the play if you can, there is no shame in being uncomfortable on stage! They are there to help you, as is your mom even though you've been fighting. Please try and talk to someone about how you're feeling and keep going my love xxx
3 likesDalia Ahmed Friendship thing: Almost same thing for me. STAY STRONG FREN! 😊
1 likeplease go and see a doctor about this: I had depression a while back and I just didn't realise that it wasn't normal to constantly feel that way so I didn't get the help I needed... after I went to the doctors and had an action plan, everything immediately started getting better. if you don't feel 100%, you deserve to get help to feel great again!!x
2 likesTamara Williams internet makes me happy, my frienda are better than the friends I have irl
0 likesI don't think I can tell my parents either, thanks peeps. you're the best but my parents are judgemental af
4 likes"I don't think I can tell my parents either, thanks peeps. you're the best but my parents are judgemental af"
12 likesSTOP, dont think like this, never, ever, dont, stop, right now.
Please talk to your parents and try to get a therapist or some kind of help, for the love of god.
Btw this is coming from a 16 year old that experienced a "closet" (hidden) depression from ages 9 to 15, suicidal at 10, So I believe I know a thing or two about hidding depression, it is NEVER,ever a good idea to try and deal with a mental illness yourself (not saying you have one) or any type of mental stress, you're not a trained professional in dealing with these kind of problem nor anyone online is trust worthy to listen to 100%, including myself you can choose to not trust what I am saying, however if you do, then please tell your parents, becuase if only I spoke at age 9 my depression wouldn't have lasted 6 years, because I didn't speak it lasted to long, I was my own "therapist" and caused more damage than actually helping myself for about 5 years, seeing a professional help will greatly help you, so please, seek help, talk to your parents, explain them you're problem.
It's normal for 12 year olds to feel upset. When I was that age I thought I had depression. It went away, so I guess I didn't.
1 likeDalia Ahmed you're profile pic goals, and so life goals, you can retire now xd
1 likeHey darling, remember that it might be just your hormones coming up as you're going into puberty. But it's good if you'd talk to someone. Cause at your age it's hard to know where a grumpy teen mood ends and depression starts. And well, talking always helps:)
4 likesStay strong!
Dalia Ahmed a lot of young people are experiencing depression and anxiety and thst is including me. Im eleven and i feel like giving up but theres a lot of people there for you and just think positive. good luck!
0 likesThe number one thing to remember is that you haven't even come close to starting life, there is so much left in life. I'm 21 and I haven't started life yet.
0 likesTell your mom what's going on. These exact words and how it makes you feel
0 likesDalia Ahmed I was like you when I was your age and honestly not much has changed since for me but I can tell you that it's normal for kids around your age to get depressed. you're not alone. Find friends that make you happy and motivate you to be the best version of yourself. Don't get caught up in toxic environments because you'll regret it later.
2 likesDalia Ahmed u won't believe me now, but in a few months none of it will matter.
3 likesi'm 14 and i've been just like that for 2 years. i've realized that it has been easier to not have social interactions with people when you are feeling depressed. experiment with it and you will find a thing to do that will make it slightly easier.
2 likesStay Alive
Dalia Ahmed Hey there, sweetie. It sounds like your panic attacks are more connected to anxiety. What do you think about getting ahead of your issues and going to get some professional help? Maybe you can speak with your school counselor? If you don't really like how your session goes, don't give up. Find ANOTHER counselor. Ask for a recommendation from a teacher or your parents.
1 likeIf you feel like you're going somewhere you don't want to go emotionally, you can stop that journey and turn it towards a different direction. YOU have that power. All you have to do is know how to use it. Good luck!
when i was 13 i got depressed 4 real and i basically finished junior high school depressed. i know there are bad, dark, sad, awful disgusting days where you feel like nothing is ever gonna get better, i´ve been there, i was there for two years. but things do change. i'm 16 now and looking back i can really see that all that shit that i was so frightened about,,, it literally means nothing now. it's very hard going through depression when you are so young, and yes it feels like you are wasting your time, like it is running out and in the future your childhood memories will make you want to throw up. but i can assure you, and though it sounds kinda cheesy, the best is yet to come, things get better, and someday you will notice that the sad is gone, and it no longer is part of your body and your mind and your soul, and you will laugh more, and you'll do things that will make you feel like you are here for a reason. i didn't believe in this stuff, i really used to deny this thought of me being okay. but time can cure some stuff, and i really hope you pee the sadness away very soon, focus on the good things, and maybe you think there are none, but there are!!!! maybe hidden! but they'll come!!!! okay okayyy you'll be fine, i love you and i want you to get better.
1 likeDalia Ahmed same here...I'm 13 and am siverely bullied. I have anxiety attacks and it's so scary. I'm going to counselling and therapy and stuff. I feel dead inside. I'm losing all hope and u just don't know anymore
1 likeDalia Ahmed (or anyone else who is young, depressed, and wants help please read this whole thing is long and it sounds sad at first, but not at the end. I really want to help) I can understand how you feel. I am 15 years old and I struggle with depression and anxiety. A lot of people I have talked to about depression simply call it "teenage angst". They don't realize though that I've felt this way since I was 9 and I am officially diagnosed with it. My dad is a doctor he knows I had symptoms and that depression is very common. So know that yes, you are very young to feel this way, but other people have felt the same way at the same age. Also, at the age of 12, your social life starts to change dramatically. I've lost friends and gained new friends. But know that if someone decides to hurt you emotional or physically in any way, that they are not worth your time. People make mistakes, their mistake was leaving you. If you feel lost and like nobody supports your or feels the same way, know that your have worth and are not alone on this journey. The first thing you need to do is push yourself to find someone you are comfortable talking to, then ASK FOR HELP. Even if it's not depression and it actually is just hormones, ask someone for advice on just how to handle properly. Every adult has been a teenager before and can relate. But If you feel like you are depressed you need to fix it. Its scary. But I asked for help and everything is so much better than I thought it would ever be. PLEASE REMEMER: You are important. you are supported. please find help because it WILL help. And know that you can get through this. There is know cure for depression, but that doesn't mean that you don't have the power to fight it. You are loved, supported, and not alone. Stay alive and don't hurt yourself. People care. I care.That was long but I've learned to live life happy since I was 9 and I hope this helps anyone who reads this. : )
4 likesdont worry youre not getting depression its just bc youre going into the teenager state and your hormones are messing up your way of looking at things in life dont worry almost the exact same thing happened to me when i was about 13 and i wouldnt cry i ould just lie on my bed throughout the night every night because i didnt really feel like closing my eyes
2 likesthis is completely unrelated to your actual comment but
2 likesDO I SEE A FELLOW PENTAHOLIC OR IS IT JUST ME?
Severus Snape professor I've felt like this for a long time
0 likesCarys Davies YES
0 likesthank god I don't feel suicidal, its just feeling constantly tired and not wanting to do anything, NOT procrastinating just lost interest in life
1 likeA2beautyphase hahahaha..... no
0 likesthank you so much for the people above, I know it will get better and I know none of it will matter in a few months and such, but in the present I feel so shitty, I try to think and. be like okay listen you'll get better, get your stuff together.
1 likeI kinda felt like this at your age and I have only one advice: tell someone. When I was younger I felt bad because of everything and would also cry to my sleep and feel terrible everyday, but I would lie to people and say I was okay. And doing this messed me up so much, today I just can't talk to people, because I got used to hiding things. So talk. Tell your friends, your parents, siblings (if you have any), your teacher, anyone. Just don't shut it down by keeping it to yourself.
2 likesi am a miserable slytherin kind of sounds like me around that age. never went to a doctor to check wether I actually have depression (it wouldn't be too odd, my brother actually has some kind of depression. He doesn't talk about it so I don't know what kind but he's seeing a therapist for it) but I honestly feel like it got better. maybe it was just hormones? maybe I was in a bad situation and just felt really alone? (I've never been close to friends and family) just stick through it. don't panic about missing out on things!! you'we still at the beginning of your teens, you're not wasting your life. just keep calm and it's gonna be okay
0 likesI remember when I was twelve, I had just switched schools, so I'd lost all my old friends and was struggling to make new ones. I had three friends total, but I didn't like them very much back then, because they were always fighting and we didn't fit in with the rest of the class. Due to this, I couldn't fall asleep at night because I kept myself up with obsessive compulsive behaviour (I've never been officially diagnosed with OCD, but that's the best way I can describe it) and I would often start shaking heavily. It got to a point where I cried at least once a week and I felt terrible almost all the time. I was so scared that I'd never be happy again.
0 likesBut then I went to a therapist, I worked through that obsessive compulsive behaviour and now it doesn't bother me anymore. :) I also have quite a large group of friends now and we never fight with each other, we usually praise each other behind each other's backs. So don't worry, you'll definitely be happy again! I can't tell whether you have depression, but even if you do, you definitely won't feel like this forever, okay? I would advise you to see a therapist if you aren't seeing one yet, because whether you have depression or not, that can be so helpful, especially when you're also struggling with panic attacks.
Panic attacks are the worst! Could you try seeing someone to help?
0 likesi am a miserable slytherin Aw this honestly describes exactly how I felt at around 12-13 (I'm turning 15 in the beginning of April). I remember I would cry myself to sleep and in the shower I would collapse on the floor and just shatter. I had moved around a lot as a kid plus was homeschooled so I lost a lot of friends so I was incredibly painfully lonely. My stomach hurt because I just wanted a friend. And I didn't (still don't tbh) have the best relationship with my mom either). I hated myself I hated my life and I was cast as the lead in my first play since I was maybe 8 and would have panic attacks every day before rehearsal. It hurts. It's like being stabbed in chest over and over again with your own mind. But listen to me right now... it's been about a year since the last time I felt like that because of my mental health. I've had relapses of course, which is normal, but I don't cry myself to sleep because I hate myself. I went to this theatre camp and I made so many amazing wonderful friends that I text to this day. And although I wasn't the lead this time, I managed to stand on that stage and successfully immerse myself in my character. Because you'd think being the lead in a play is trying to get everything perfectly, but it's not. If you mess up your lines, no one else knows. For all they know, you did that on purpose. What matters is that you keep going and do what your character would do. It's the same with real life. No one knows if you mess up ok because you were perfectly cast in your role for life. If you believe in a director, whether that's a God or the universe or anything, you need to trust it because the director always knows what they're doing. I'm doing my third play since that first one with panic attacks, and although I'm not the lead, I am a main character. I don't cry or panic anymore with every rehearsal. Quite the opposite actually. I leave that rehearsal with the biggest smile on my face while I dance and sing to the songs in the play. Trust me when I say it gets better. You won't feel this way forever. I'll be supporting you through all of that. You are good enough. Your feelings are valid and real. You don't deserve those feelings. But you're strong and brave for dealing with them. You'll get through.
0 likesKeep fighting I know it's not easy but it will be worth it <3 I've suffered from depression you just have to keep going. Get help if you need to, it's okay to ask for help! Keep fighting <3
0 likesi am a miserable slytherin yeh okay, therapists help. talking to people helps . I'm 12 too, but I fortunately don't suffer from depression. however, I do know the effect it has on people. trust me, instead of self-diagnosing yourself, get professional help
1 likeI understand that it might not be depression that I'm going through now, but I've noticed that about a few months ago I would just feel overwhelming sadness for a couple of hours and then it just goes away every once in a while and now it happens more often
1 likehey, that must suck and i feel you from experience. i aint no therapist, but all i can say is keep it objective. dont let yourself feel like you are slowly digging yourself into a hole, because the further you dig the less you can see. i know this sounds kinda cheesy and futile, but believe me when i say it works. my hole was about 5 years deep, and i'm fourteen, but the euphoria i felt when i learnt to change my perspective is something everyone should feel one day. :))
0 likesKeegan thank you so much, that's great idea.
0 likesi am a miserable slytherin okay but i'm 12 too and i feel exactly the same. i've been feeling like this for a while. it's just a sudden sadness and a feeling of not wanting to do anything, not seeing the point of it. it probably is something about changes and shit, but it is really overwhelming. just, know that you're not alone going through this. let's just hope it goes away as soon as possible. and yeah, get as much help as possible, don't got through this alone.
1 likeAlmost the same thing happened to me in 6th grade. My two best friends started hanging out without me and i felt alone. I'm not gonna try and give you advice bc idk the whole situation but when i started feeling depressed i didn't get help and everything in my life suffered. I totally shut down, I wouldn't go anywhere, post anything, my grades dropped. Thankfully, my mom cared enough to notice and get me diagnosed. It didn't make me completely better but i made new friends, and got everything back on track. It does get better. its only been 4 years but im happy where i am.
1 likei am a miserable slytherin :( so sad for someone has bestfriend but they feel like they weren't there even though they did
1 likeI RELATE SO SO MUCH
3 likes(i am a miserable slytherin) hey!! it's okay! you're only twelve! 😊 I had this exact same problem when I was twelve and now I'm 16 and believe me, whatever it is that you're going through won't last a long time like you might think it will!!
1 liketalk to the friend who wants to be your friend again. Don't avoid them! If they really care about you, they'll do something about that bully of yours 😊 chin up
Well, I'm kinda through this at the moment. They're days where I just feel like I don't matter and there's no point for me to be here but the way I cope is by just escaping into another by watching TV shows, anime, youtube, reading books, manga literally any form of escapism. Maybe that would work for you. I've also made some great friends due to these things as well.
2 likesi am so sorry :( i really really hope everything turns up and remember that you are cared for. (p.s. i love your profile pic :) scott the noodle is amazing)
1 likemaybe your friends could help you and you just don't know it?
0 likesi am a miserable slytherin I hope you feel better soon 😘 if you need to talk you can join me and my death eaters. We have cookies 🍪🍪
1 likei am a miserable slytherin same here, but I hope we can live through it
0 likesLord Voldemort no thanks voldy moldy, even tho I'm a Slytherin I ain't a death eater
1 likeKeep your head up, you won't know what happen, that moment when you break down is when depression win.
0 likesI know it's hard, my fifteen ia a mess cause depresion. So does every ages that been through depressed.
You can't get up and the thing is i believe in you. You will see a whole new you after this.
Just prove those people that make you down, they are all wrong, you're precious person (yeah, i'm not know you but you know you know that yourself is precious)
update,, things took a turn for the worse :))
0 likesi am a miserable slytherin what happened??!!
0 likesthe bullying got worse and I can't enjoy my hobbies anymore, or anything really.
0 likeshave you try to get help from the police?
0 likesHoang Thi Minh Anh why?
0 likesanother update, I talked with my best friend, she explained that she felt like I didn't care for her and felt hurt. I also talked to my bully I told her please stop and stuff and she explained that she was jealous that I've got friends and she's lonely and yada yada. I'm trying to fix things and so far its working slightly. the sadness still blows over sometimes, but I'm better. thank you everyone for your advice and help! ❤
1 likeI just wonder if they could help, the bully
1 likejust nevermind, i can tell that's you felt better when you talked to the bully :)
1 likeAt least, you make a step forward and i'm so glad that happened !!!
Hoang Thi Minh Anh oh, its not serious to THAT point, thank god. also thsnks fpr your concern, i appreciate it
0 likesHey man, fuckin’ same. It’ll be ok.
0 likesYou
0 likesAre
The
Best.
lol now I what depression is feels like and now I realize I have it
0 likesReplies (1)
Rachel Elizabeth Lovegood don’t self diagnose
0 likesThank you for this goddamn
0 likesI have this every day.i feel bad and not ok.
4 likesMe everyday just depressed
0 likesRelatable
0 likesI'm scared that may I won't be able to go back again. 😔😔😔😔
are dodie and dan like distant cousins or something cause thEYRE SO SIMILAR
0 likesI just realized my Queen was watching Rick and Morty
0 likesI'm rarely depressed, but when I am, I'm tired, hungry, tired, sad, aching in my stomach and chest, and I don't have motivation to do anything that I find fun. Also, Im tired when I'm depressed. One day of depression caused me to find reading not very fun. Whyy. Mine is more of a physical depression than a mental depression...
7 likesn e r v o u s a n d s c a r e d
0 likesI completly agree in what or how she isexplaining this feeling of depression but i think that she just shouldnt only talk about how it feel bad but show or do something to cope with it and help others to get out of that state..i make videos for people who dont know what it is and want to learn in how to live a live happier with a good mental health and also my videos are for those who struggle with any mental health issue.... through vlogs i can make u smile or through a talking video i can teach u something that i have learned .... sooo keep it up but use your voice to help people not unly understand but to get off a depression. loves and kisses
0 likesdon't be sad, be dodie yellow mellow
3 likeswhen I feel like I am sad I take off my pants and get under a blanket eat ice cream and if that dose not work get in the shower and cry then get out dress but don’t put your pants on
0 likes3 Months clean :)
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Betsie Lynch I'm so happy for you!
0 likesFreak Show Thank you x
0 likesBetsie Lynch that's amazing ❤️
0 likesMichela Doran Thank you very much ❤
0 likesCongratulations, keep it up! We're all here for you and your journey.
2 likesRebecca Ogden Thank you xx
1 likeBetsie Lynch keep it up chap!
2 likesWhat r you eating dodie, looks healthy. Is it?
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Tigerlily 09 edamame
1 likeThanks 😄
0 likesGO ON DRUGS! I'm amazed it's taken you so long. I'm on Sertraline and honest to god I've never felt better and I totally understand the whole feeling blind thing- and drugs sort that out entirely!!! You will look back on these videos and laugh, honestly!
66 likesReplies (12)
not necessarily, drugs don't work for everyone
27 likesHow on earth can you say that. Oh my god. I have ADHD. And I hate my drugs. It's like living in a shell. I think of something but my body does something else. I've stopped taking drugs and they're better. My brother has depression and he hates the fact he has to take drugs in the morning. NEVER say useless shit like thay
20 likesim on sertraline for anxiety snd its amazing!!!
5 likesto those saying drugs don't do anything: stop. Drugs may be Dodie's (or others reading these comments!) answer, as they were mine. If they don't work, then that is fine, but THEY MIGHT. don't try and put people off trying an important avenue of treatment x
41 likesyes!! i agree. they can definitely be super helpful but not necessarily. they're not a cure, but if they can help you get through everyday life, that's a fantastic thing!
1 likeMeds helped me at some point, then didn't. So, yeah, some people need meds, some don't. Some meds work on certain people, some don't. In my experience, meds don't do all the work. They help to a certain point, but you always have to work to sort out your stuff.
11 likesCassie Leigh James yea I'm on Zoloft(?i think) and so far it has sorta been helping at least more than the other pills I've had but regardless u should try meds because even though it doesn't fix everything but it makes things more manageable:,)
0 likesI'm on sertraline 125mg and propanolol 40mg, they are helping me out to a point but I'm still really struggling with leaving my house and my feelings and basic function. What dosage are you on?
1 likeAh see, Sertraline had the opposite effect. It was horrible and made everything worse, and I functioned even less. Works for some, deffffinitely doesn't work for others :P It's always worth a trial run I suppose. I imagine when it does work it's great.
3 likesDon't dismiss them entirely though. There's SO MANY individual and combos of drugs and everyone's chemistry is different. Don't let your bad experience deter you.
5 likesI like Wellbutrin! <3
0 likesI was worried you meant drugs like cocaine and stuff, thankfully you didn't mean that. xD
2 likescan someone help me?
3 likesfirst of all, im 11, i dont know if this is to do with hormones or something but i need help
i dont think the way im feeling is normal, if i do anything wrong or bad, i literally beat myself up for it, i feel so bad and guilty if i get, or do something wrong. today
its not only that, some days i feel completely empty, nothing but sadness, my favorite bands like panic! at the disco and mcr dont help, paramore and all time low dont help, fall out boy and the brobecks dont help, neither do yellowcard and blink-182, not even twenty one pilots. it feels like im going on and on and on in my own thoughts and it wont stop, i feel like i never do anything right and im a waste of a life, i feel like if i never existed id never would have to feel this way and if i were nothingness, i wouldnt have emotions so i couldnt be sad. im ugly, im self-consious and im even embarrassed of my sexuality: bi. theres no point in living life, going to school, going to university, getting a job and then dying, eventually we'll all be dead and we'll all be forgotten. i cant have normal conversations with people without regretting everything i say, because i think i come off as i think everything is about me, even online, and im always chosen before people. looking up to people and having idols is hard, because i realise that they're better than me in every single aspect and are talented enough to lead a successful life, which i feel i cant do, i have no hobbies that im good at - im a disgraceful ukulele player (even after 6 months) according to my 15 year old brother, who is doing music for gcse's and is in a band, im a bad artist - turns out it stresses me even more because i cant do anything right, school is bad, i cant cook, i cant play sports because my co-ordination is bad and i have asthma, i cant dance and my anxiety is so bad i could never perform infront of people, i cant act, because im too shy, i cant even look after my hamsters properly. i dont want to live a wasted life, i dont want to be boring. but here i am, sitting infront of a computer screen in search of something that can make me feel better. my head hurts all the time because all i do is overthink and i think and think and think and i cant get myself out of the hole i have dug myself into. im so confused and sad all the time and i question reality and if this is all in my head and it never ever stops. smiling feels wrong and takes effort and im trapped inside my head and i cant just sit back and relax and relapse again because im trying so desperately hard to get out of my mind. i feel so spaced out from everything and anything and it doesnt even seem like my body belongs to me anymore, it feels like im just controlling it and its like a numb feeling but so terrifying. like dodie described, i feel like im longing for something, but im not getting it, my head feels black and it feels very physical. nothing feels real
i dont even feel things, things that usually make me laugh just makes me.. i dont even know.. i feel bored but like i deserve that, but what did i do wrong? everything. Remember that time where you fucked up so badly!!! why does it all come back when i feel as shit as this
why cant i just not feel emptiness while my head is about to burst and just enjoy the tiny and insignificant life im living
i dont have the courage to talk to my family about this, i probably never will, they take depression as sadness because everyone uses it as a daily word and if i was depressed my parents would just say to ''be happy' but how the fuck am i supposed to be happy when my mind wants me to not be
honestly, its worrying how i can relate to dodie, its even more worrying how i have so much more to say, worrying how i cant put this into words
if anyone reads it this far, thankyou, i apologise for wasting your time on something that you'll forget about in the next 24 hours
Replies (1)
You need to speak to someone. A counselor, a parent, a grandparent, etc. Please, get help. You aren't crazy. This sounds like depression.
2 likesRick and Morty! Yay!
0 likesI know this is off topic but those green beans sound and look good but I hate green beans
3 likesYou're not depressed, you just need a guy to make you feel like a woman again.
0 likesdepressed today?
0 likesdepression is not for a day
I just feel so lost. But I never acknowledge it because I feel like if I say I’m depressed, it’s disrespectful to people who are going through worse situations. I don’t have any real world problems. My family is pretty ok. My friends are pretty ok. But I feel like there isn’t a point in anything. I have to give an important exam in a month and I am not prepared, but I don’t even want to be prepared because what is the point. I can’t get anything done. I’m a slightly above average person who has slightly above average achievements and that’s all my life will ever be.
0 likesIf this is where someone’s normal brain should be at then where is mine
0 likesI have bad days most of the time but sometimes I have a good day and I feel like I shouldn’t be able to have those good days I feel guilty for having a good day and I have no idea why
6 likesReplies (1)
I agree. I swear, everytime I catch myself laughing I feel guilty for it, even though most of the time I feel pretty shit.
0 likessame old dodie we love
10 likesomg, this
0 likesBananas help. I promise.
125 likesReplies (11)
of course. good source of potassium
8 likesImma eat a banana brb (hi fam)
1 likeBts helps :)
2 likesAnd Hamilton as well I mean amirite? :)
3 likesYour username is gold 🙋🏻♀️
0 likesIt depends on where you put the bananas. : /
0 likesJames West wHat
0 likesBananas with pesto
1 likethats like saying vines cure depression lol
0 likesJessica is a Messica That's a bit mean but yeah.
1 likenunjoon And so does using sensible ways.
0 likespet i cried over a kfc i think ive got it worse
0 likesThis is EXACTLY how I feel and it sucks so much. I absolutely hate it, but hating it isn’t going to help. My parents won’t take me to a therapist and I’ve considered hurting myself before. I don’t want to die, but I just want to disappear sometimes. Sometimes I just feel so empty and I feel like nothing matters. It is such a horrible feeling and I wish so much that it would go away. Anyone dealing with depression and/or any other mental disorder, please talk to a trusted adult to get help and don’t make the same mistakes I’m making. You’re amazing!! ❤️
1 likeI'm depressed today, it's my birthday and literally no one gives a fuck. I even woke up and said "oh it's my birthday" it just doesn't feel the same anymore, people don't even acknowledge the fact that it's my birthday anymore. My mum has this shit job that works her from 4:30am-8:30pm so i didn't even see her when i woke up, like i use too. I went to school and i had no one to go around with, my friends were not there for me and i just want to cry. Also this girl who i had fallen out with, decided to ignore me and block me out. but today, she wishes me a happy birthday. i should be happy and thankful, but I'm not... because of the fact she ignored me all this time but then wishes me a happy birthday. I hate my life and i have no idea what I'm doing anymore, people ask me what are you going to do after sixth form and i really haven't got a clue. I feel like I'm just here for the ride. Anyways rant over.
284 likesReplies (57)
sophie leanne happy bday ! I know the feeling lol :,(
2 likesIts my birthday too😊
2 likesmine always like that. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
1 likeVictoria MacDonald Happy Birthday twin😙
0 likeshappy birthday love. someone will care about you
2 likesDon't worry my dear! I have no idea what going through depression is like, so I don't know if any of this will be at all helpful, BUT STAY POSITIVE! There are people out there who are there for you and do love you, including random strangers who message you back on the internet!! You are a unique wild beautiful human being and you should be proud of that! Life's rough and is always going to be a bumpy ride, and you're never for sure gonna know what's going to happen next. But keep with it, take everyday as a challenge to show love to others and to notice when others are giving it. You're not always going to be happy, but you can always make the effort to love yourself and love others. I have no idea where I'm going with this, but I'm praying for you and I hope your day turns around, you beautiful human you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! P.S. none of my friends said anything about my past birthday either, but it was still a wonderful day, just celebrate you! I am so stinking bad at this xP
3 likeshey honey, happy birthday!! everything will be better, I promise. (and I really really mean this!)
2 likesHappy Birthday! I understand what you mean, I remember I was with my family at Christmas and all I could think about was suicide. You're not alone! I hope you have a better birthday!!!
1 likei just got yelled at all day on my birthday (it was the 8th). im cyberschooled now so i dont ever have anyone to talk to :///
2 likesHappy birthday !! though it won't seems like it at the time every cloud has a silver lining. I believe things can get better if you keep looking forward
2 likessophie leanne happy birthday!!! I wish i could be friends with you! I love you
2 likessophie leanne Happy birthday dear <3
1 likeI now how you feel. I'm felling literally the same a great amount of time. If you ever feel like shit dodie's community will be there for you. I promise. <33333
Happy birthday<33
1 likesophie leanne happy birthday!!!!<3333
1 likeI feel you. It's my birthday too, eventhough it started pretty good, when my friends came over this afternoon someone made a bad joke that reminded me of this senslessness of life and my depression just hit me again. Birthdays are normal days, they pass by and there will be "another day of sun". Not today, maybe not tomorrow, but there will be happy days, where you see a sense in life. So Happy Birthday, if this means anything to you ♥
2 likesHappy birthday! xxx
1 likeHappy birthday 💕
1 likesophie leanne happy birthday and I'm so sorry...I don't know if this matters since I'm just a random stranger, but I'm here for you
1 likeHAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
1 likegosh i hope you've had a great day
1 likeguys i can't thank you enough, really. you've all made me feel loved, i find it amazing how people I've never met or even talked too can make me so happy. Thank you so much.
6 likessophie leanne I am glad that we could cheer you up <3
2 likesHappy birthday again!!! <3333333
Happy Birthday! I don't know how you feel, but if you need anyone to talk to, you can ask me :)
1 likesophie leanne happy birthday! You are valued and loved and always remember that
1 likealways remember how even if you don't think people care around you there's others that do xxxxxxxxxxx
1 likeAw, I'm glad we all helped!! Have a wonderful day!! We all luv ya!! ;)> XD
1 likesophie leanne Happy birthday!!! Sending birthday hugs! 💕🙂
1 likesophie leanne happy birthday beautiful!! i'm glad you exist ❤️✨💕
2 likessophie leanne HEY ITS MY B DAY TO AND I CARE B DAY BUDDY
2 likespoor you
0 likessophie leanne happy birthday! i really wish you an incredible life. please please please treat yourself, and do not be hard on yourself. there really is light at the end of the tunnel.
1 likesophie leanne I care it's you're birthday
1 likeHAPPY BIRTHDAY🎉🎉have a gudden x
sophie leanne Happy birthday! I know how tuff it can be when people ignore you and you don't feel valued🙁 but just know you are loved by someone out there even if you don't know them💖🎂🎊
1 likesophie leanne HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
1 liketoday is also my birthday :)
1 likeI'm so sorry sophie happy late birthday bby get well
1 likesophie leanne HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! If it's any comfort all of us are here for you and will send you smiley face emojis and cake. 😊😊😊🎂🎂🎂
1 likehappy birthday my dude! this community is always here for you!
2 likessophie leanne Happy birthday, it's okay to not know what you're going to do after sixth form, you have so much time to decide x
1 likesophie leanne a very happy birthday to you.❤ I hope you have a great year ahead, and stay strong, life gets better. 💙
1 likehey i do give a fuck
1 likehappy birthday sweetie <3 i promise you things will get better. try to stay safe and treat yourself kindly. <3
sophie leanne this is late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY. i want you to know that i give a fuck and so do many other people, as you can see from all these wishes. i hope you're feeling better and that things look up for you. love you.
1 likesophie leanne :( that's so sad.
1 likehey; hAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🎉🎈🎂🍾 even tho it seems you've had a crap day just.. take some time to just enjoy yourself? cuz i bet you're AMAZING. i know it sucks because i've been there - i've been in almost the exact situation. but time will pass and things will get better and you'll find people who care about you and appreciate you for the amazing being that you are. and until thr days get better, it doesn't have to suck. make sure you take time to just do whatever. treat yourself. stay in bed all day watching youtube. eat 4 pieces of cake. this time in your life will shape you into an incredible person. just make sure you take moments to just.. experience the journey and have some down days but also have some up days where you just do what you like. idk. this is what i'm learning. i genuinely hope your year gets better and by your next birthday things will be very different in a good way. xxx
2 likesHappy late birthday <3 !
1 likeHappy late birthday!! 💖
2 likeshappy birthday♡♡♡
2 likeshappy belated birthday!!!! I'm so sorry you feel like this right now and I'm sending a massive hug to you!! Look after yourself as best you can dear x
1 likesophie leanne happy birthday!! I know you feel this happened to me to but know that there's always someone who cares sometimes it someone small like the old lady you said Hi to today never forget and keep fighting!!
1 likeMy birthday is in 2 days and I'm depressed. I dont want to wake up that day because I know its gonna suck and Im gonna be reminded of how excited I was before on my past birthdays. I dno.
1 likesophie leanne Im late but happy birthday! And everything will be fine in time, promise🤞🏼 always try to stay positive❤
1 likesophie leanne it's a few days late, but you know what? Birthdays are the most important day of your life, and next birthday, just take the time so not worry about the future or the past or anything stressful, just focus on your wellbeing. Also, happy belated birthday, here's a little emoji cake, sorry it's not the real thing, but I don't know where you live. 🎂. Blow you the candles, hope your wish comes true
4 likessophie leanne Happy birthday!! Everything's gonna be okay. Sending virtual hugggg! xx
3 likesThat freaking sucks. I honestly relate to that story too much. Happy Birthday, girl! Stay strong xoxo
1 likei cried the day i turned 14 q few days ago, your not by yourself
2 likesOh no
1 likesophie leanne thats me for all my birthdays (つд⊂)ｴｰﾝ its tough
0 likesIs the snap and claps your intro!?
0 likessame
4 likesReplies (1)
:)
0 likesOMG MOOD
0 likesOur Brains Are Sick & That's Okay.
346 likes|-/
Replies (15)
Xquavius Ellison Oh my gosh yes
4 likesXquavius Ellison |-/
1 likeI scream this when I'm driving and listening to vessel because it's true and there's nothing we can do about it for the most part! Plus screaming is somewhat therapeutic for me b/c part of my depression comes from feeling invisible and not heard so yeah screaming helps even if no one can hear it
4 likesInAWorldOfOctobers 108
0 likesEXACTLY!!!
Oh yeah I'm not alone in this!!! My best friend{who is also depressed} and I just really want to find a forest nearby where we can just go and scream as loud as we want without freaking people out
5 likesXquavius Ellison l-/
0 likesthat used to be my whatsapp status until whatsapp decides to have a freaking 24hr story which has z e r o use to it. anyways
5 likes|-/
Jaz ohmygosh same!!
1 likeJaz man i hate f*cking stories they're taking over all the internet
1 likeXquavius Ellison Exactly! Thank you! Why is it as human beings, we expect that other parts of our body will need help at some point but never our brain? Stomach hurts, take some medicine, etc. But yet we expect our brains to run for years without help at all?? That makes no sense to me. We need to end the stigma. It's okay to need help for our brains too.
0 likesMilla Grace He says "our" and he says that it's okay.
3 likesMilla Grace mental illnesses should not be romanticized they are an illness, ill = sick; our brains are sick...but that is okay and we can fight through it
3 likes+Milla Grace it is literally mental ILLNESS. And there's nothing wrong with that
0 likesXquavius Ellison tru tru
0 likes@N/ A
0 likesOur minds are the most crucial
hugs
163 likesReplies (1)
Jah Mia bless you
1 likeOh fuck.. I don't want to be that guy but I pretty much think I'm depressed. I also know that there will be happy times but I also know that after them there will be bad times again. I procrastinate and not just on the average level even though I know that it will only make me feel worse. I just watch random things while only being half-present until I hit this breaking point and somehow can put myself to work. But when working I panic about all the stuff I procrastinate and think of fictional scenarios where I am in school and my teacher holds a high horse speech again, I tell her to cut it short because I want to only sit again on my chair and stop thinking about my classmates thinking how idiotic my behaviour is (I know it but in that moment I don't care) and I trigger exactly that. That happens in school and I don't know how to end my thoughts when working or just doing anything. I'm not suicidal, it isn't really helping, we are all going to die soon enough and speeding it up does nothing. Something like this happens in a cycle with different lengths and I would like to hear your stories and maybe tips on how to concentrate. This video in general is a gold mine and is already helping!
7 likesi just realized that she was watching rick and morty
6 likesI haven’t been diagnosed by a doctor but i’ve taken test by depression and anxiety websites and they have all come back with mild depression
0 likesi’m not gonna lie i’m happy at school
but when i get home i just feel useless i don’t do sports cause i get anxiety i sit in my room alone watching videos then i’m in the shower and want to cry but the tears don’t want to come i make my self think i’m doing it for attention that i’m just a faker and i’m making up everything i just don’t want to do it anymore i just get sick off myself
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT
6 likesReplies (1)
ok i didnt realise it was a sad video sry - i just saw rick and morty lol
7 likesWait does she sing "losing soulmates?"
4 likesReplies (3)
Cleo Dependegast yep
1 likeLolita yes! It's called "Sick Of Losing Soulmates" and it's on her "Intertwined" ep :) 💛
1 likeemily renae I've been watching her since I posted that comment( lol addicted )and yeah I caught on 😂 but thanks
1 likeI’ve watched this 4 times now oops
0 likesUhgggg I have literally 60 problems on a test I have to correct but Dodie uploaded so.... Guess which one I chose
9 likesEdit:I've only done 5....
Replies (1)
Aquarius & Aries 6362 same. |-/
2 likesYou watch Rick and Morty too?! :D
7 likestwo months ago i was diagnosed with anxiety..it was bothering me for maybe 4/5 years and I was quiet,I wasn't trying to find help.and then, in December it got serious and I started having panick attacks.at first I had them once a month, than 3 times a month, than a 6 times a month and than at least once a week.i am actually doing a test for depression in two days and I'm going to a psychiatrist for the first time so that they can give some medicine and I'm scared..I feel kinda alone and lonely because there's a lot of people that don't believe me!and there's one girl in my class that also has anxiety and panick attacks so at first we were really good friends bcs we are both new at the school we're going to.but..i didn't really get to know her very well.sadly, she is that mean girl that every class has..she talks lies about me, how I pretend I have anxiety and panick attack just because she is jealous or what idk?and she is so sure I am faking even tho my psychologist diagnosed me and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't send me to a psychiatrist if I didn't have anxiety...and now I'm scared to go back to school..idk what to do..
0 likesReplies (2)
some people are just like that. I was the new kid a lot in elementary and I kind of got used to it so I was lucky because now I'm in high school and it doesn't bother me as much as it would if I had not learned to just let it go. nobody else knows what goes through your head, so they can NOT decide whether or not your anxiety is "fake". this girl may have been getting more attention due to people wanting to help her with her anxiety and now you have it too so it takes away from her "spotlight". I think the best thing you can do is just forget what she says, laugh about how she doesn't know what shes talking about, and make sure not to stoop to her level by talking trash about her. it might be hard now, but I promise it will get easier with time.
0 likes+Kaitlyn M thank you so much for your advise.it is REALLY hard for me to not speak trash about her and to stay quiet but i'm doing good haha i don't know if you're religious but there's one quote, one sentence that Jesus said when he was on the Cross and it goes something like this "God, please forgive them, they don't know what they're doing.". and it helps me..it makes me realise that she and the other classmates who are brainwashed by her (because she has to make sure I don't get any support haha) don't know me actually and instead of talking to me and asking me if that's true they chose to be her minions.but that's okay, they chose that and I'm not going to judge bcs just like they don't know me, I don't know them. I have my really good friends, the bestest friend you could ever find and my family and I believe that's all I need..it's not like they're necessary in my life :)
0 likesI want to KNOWWW you; your awesome
0 likesWAYO
495 likesShit I feel worse now
0 likesNobody has finished the vid yet.
5 likesWhen I'm depressed I lock myself in the toilet and just cry and debate if I should drink the bleach near me
1 likei’m late but omg
109 likesRICK AND MORTY—
this is relatable what
so am i, love
17 likesnigga im depressed everyday
0 likesShe has tear stains :(
0 likesyou need Jesus☺Shalom
0 likeslol I can't sleep and I have school tomorrow ahhhhhh
5 likesHi, I have been wary of saying this so pls don't hate. I have a very happy life right now and I'm so grateful and lucky. How do I not get depression in future, because rn it seems like it's inevitable and there's no cause. I'm scared. I want to stay happy. Help pls.
30 likesReplies (6)
I'm glad that you're happy right now, that is really great and I hope you keep that positivity throughout your life. Depression is a mental illness, which cannot really be prevented; you may start to have it in the future, and you may not. 1/5 people have some sort of mental illness, so the odds are that you probably won't. I hope that you stay happy!
12 likesHello, in my opinion and experience, there are some things that you can do that have a high risk of messing up your equilibrium either all at once, or gradually, and other things you can do that can help you maintain it it. I can't speak to chemical depression and purely chemical induced states, but some experiences can change you in ways you might not want. The high risk things I would watch out for mainly revolve around relationships. Here's the advice:
9 likes1. Don't continue seeing anyone that you don't have an intuitively great gut feeling about. There is a reason for intuition, and your mind usually takes a while to catch up. Trust it. What you do can hurt others or hurt yourself if you are not careful. There are consequences that can last lifelong. Your intuition is the best tool for helping you to judge an uncertain situation.
2. If someone says, "trust me", it is quite possible that you shouldn't. Trust is earned, not given because someone asks for it. Trust yourself and what your intuition is telling you instead.
3. know/learn about yourself - spend some time to write down what your goals and boundaries are - boundaries so that you know what is ok and not ok with you. If you define them in advance and make them a priority, it will be harder for people to hurt you as they try to get things in life that they want for themselves. For goals, if you can figure out what it is that you want - e.g. go to a good school, stay happy, become an artist, anything, then you can make steps to achieve it. I think that setting and achieving goals of things that you truly want, deep down inside of you, will make you feel like you are on track with your destiny. I think if people feel like they are not living up to their potential, it is easy to feel sad, and this can compound and become more serious over time.
4. Be careful about drugs and drinking, or spending time with people that have a lifestyle that goes in this direction..drugs each have different qualities, and some can damage your mind. If your mind is damaged, your thinking and life will be altered too.
So all that I am saying is that bad-mediocre relationships and substances are the high risk things. To minimize risk to the maximum extent, avoid them - there are so many beautiful ways to spend time when you are happy. Enjoy the subtleties and build on the positive. It is much, much easier to build on happiness than to try to get it back once you have lost it.
I have way more advice but this is already a novel. I hope something in here might help you or someone. :) Best!
ParadigmRabbit thank you so much. this really helped me. I hope that you're happy now and in future as well :)
2 likesLAUREN Thanks Lauren, I am really happy to hear that
1 likeHey I don't know if you will still read this, but I still wanted to give you this. You will never really be able to prevent yourself from getting a mental illness, but what you can do is to find our what you really need. Always, and I mean always, know what you need in certain situations. If what you do doesn't fit what you'll need you will be unhappy.
3 likesSo always take care of yourself. Remeber. You always have to care for yourself first. It might seem selfish, but you also have to see that you cannot help other if you can't help yourself. So always try to do what you need in that moment. :)
the best way to avoid become depressed is to treat your body, mind and self with the utmost respect. get a good amount of sleep, exercise and eat well, and try to tell yourself you deserve good things. i know lack of confidence is something we all struggle with, and my constant berating of myself and fear of uncertainty has lead to a pretty heavy two years of anxiety. basically treat yourself with care. also, an important part of being mentally healthy is not worrying about the future (i should know lmao). don't worry about becoming depressed in the future. you're not depressed now, and that's what matters, that's all you need to focus on--how you're feeling now. don't look to the future and worry about all the what ifs, take it from me, it only fucks you up more. learning to be content in where you are in the present moment is what will help you :)
5 likesHow on earth do you pronounce your yt name??
0 likesI completely followed what you're talking about :/
0 likesLiterally every time i’m depressed I watch this and it really helps to know i’m not alone ❤️ It motivates me to keep living - thanks for sharing dodie ❤️
0 likesThank you so much for this, it's exactly what I needed. Never understood what or why I was feeling this and thought that I was the only one. So thank you Dodie, you truly are a magnificent human being.
0 likesThank you for making this. Thank you for making something that I can go back to when I feel like what I feel isn't real. Thank you for creating a little place in the video where I don't feel so alone. Just...thank you.
1 likeI’ve watched this video at least about 30 times now. I watch it whenever I’m having a depressed day and it helps so much. I think I’ve watched it enough to already know what you’re going to say in the next moment, but I still come back because it gives me a sense of familiarity and a sense of being empathized with. So thank you dodie for explaining your feelings on this stuff
0 likesDodie, thank you for making this video. What you're going through isn't pleasant but it's really helpful to hear that what I'm feeling be validated. Sometimes you just need to hear that you're not alone in how alone you feel
0 likesThis helped me so much. Thank you Dodie.
0 likesIve felt exactly like this a lot recently. I've felt alone in what I'm going through. Relating to something this much is like finding a new friend with the same hobbies as you. It's not something happy exactly, but just the feeling of not being alone is helpful beyond what I can explain. I've found self-recognition through this. This video was like a good therapy session. Thank you.
0 likesWhen I'm depressed I come here and I watch this video and I feel less lonely. Thank you dodie, you help me to make order in my mind.
0 likesI feel so much respect for you, dear dodie. It kills me to see you hurting. Thank you for being so open and so honest, some of us can relate to this more than you think, and personally, by watching your videos I've began to understand things about me that weren't completely clear. So thanks for your help...
0 likesBig hug for you❤
i’m so glad that i discovered your channel. your authenticity is so important and helpful. i find so much comfort in listening to others talk about how they’re feeling because suddenly i’m not the only person that feels this way. thank you for being vulnerable for us. thank you
0 likesDodie I love you so much thank you I'm so down right now and all of these videos are so helpful to know I'm not the only one that feels this
0 likesI'm so glad that there is someone else besides me on this Earth that makes lots of face expressions while talking. THANK GOD! THANK YOU DODIE FOR EXISTING! <3
0 likesIt's so great that you can talk about it in such a objective and sort of "up" way. I'm glad you're better now(judging by your instagram feed). Keep trying to do things that bring you a feeling of contentment and if you ever feel like it's to much, it is okay to look for help. There's plenty of people out there for you. Including us!
0 likesI just love how you never are the only person with different feelings. It makes me feel better somehow.
0 likesOmg ive never been able to describe how i feel yet you did it so perfectly!!!
0 likesIt's amazing how you can put the right word to this very peculiar feeling. Anyway, thanks for this video, it's making more aware that I'm not the only one in this situation, more listening to my body and its response to my failures, and ... it's actually motivating me to make a song about it (because whynot).
0 likesPs : I've just discovered your channel and what you do is amazing. Keep going, you're great ;)
I found your videos today and have watched about 20 of them then this came up... It's the most"true"video I've watched in a long time. I've only recently started to learn about depression (after a recent back operation) and your videos were seriously helpful.
0 likesBest way I can explain it is that I desperately wish I could be a fly on the wall to watch someone like you for a week and know that the way I sometimes feel IS OK and know OTHER PEOPLE GO THROUGH IT TOO so your regular videos will now be a staple in my mental healthcare plan....
This is a rambling way to just say thank you! Really... Thank you!
G
This video helped me so much so I hope that knowing that makes you happy for a second in some way ❤️
0 likesThank you so so so much for this video I watch it every day that I feel depressed and it always makes me feel better . I’ve seen this video a total of probably 20 times at least and I love every second of it and of you❤️❤️❤️❤️
0 likesThis video was very informative for me and it helps so much understand my friends around me dealing with this.
0 likesDodie I stayed home from school today because of a lot of things, but my mental health was so shit and this describes what I'm feeling today thank you
0 likesi relate so hard. ive had the roughest months of my life lately but im still here. treading water even though i dont want to. may 2018 give us all a break.
0 likesI was having a bad day. Thank you for making me feel less alone.
0 likesYou r amazing. We all feel you.☺️
0 likesI feel this.Also I'm proud of you taking care of yourself
0 likesYou are so effortlessly, naturally beautiful, prettiest person I've seen this year by a mile !
0 likesI didn't know this is how depression is. I've had moments like this lately and i keep denying myself that i am depressed and that i'm just lonely but yeah, this is exactly what i've been feeling lately lol
0 likesToday I watched this video and now I understand depression-days are normal in my life. Thank you.
0 likesMy heart died a bit when Dodie said 'please don't let me be depressed for tour'. But for some reason it made me feel grateful for the fact that I would never know what she is going through
0 likesThis is so real and very relatable and everything you said about trying to be happy to push through the depressed state. It’s horrible I know. Taking pills is not something I wanted to do ever. But after going through three crazy horrible things in three months I had to because I was literally going crazy in my mind. And it was the best thing I ever did. I’m on sertraline tablets and I’ve never been more thankful for them, I feel so much better. I hate being depressed and not finding anything fun.. I am so glad you made this video but it’s finally shown the real side to it that no one sees. Thank you. 💗💗
0 likesMy big thing with depression is my body feeling very heavy. Especially my feet and head. The head part, you explained. I got these really high quality boots this weekend. They're very waterproof and warm which is great because when I walk to the bus for school my feet aren't wet and I'm not miserable. These boots are Thicc though, so I'm kind of always dragging my feet and my steps are clompy and I always trip on stairs. But I've had days like that in normal shoes, too. If anyone out there has worn new heavy boots that's kind of what depression feels like except you can take off the boots whenever you like
0 likesI thought I knew what depression was i thought it was extreme like crying and wanting to die and then I realised I get the same feeling as Dodie once or twice a week which is quite worrying tbh
0 likesever since this video, edamame and tea have become my favorite little munchie to have while im writing
0 likesWatching this made me relise. Even Dodie needs hugs and pickle jars full of tea oo yess and someone to understand
0 likesVery relatable. 1:10 - 2:08 was just on point. But it kinda makes me feel a bit better and less "insane" when I make myself clear that this is just my head messing around with me.
0 likesI'm a native Spanish speaker, I'm also a fan of mental health and those things... Weird, uh? I love your videos, and I love how you describe how things work out in your body and mind.
0 likesanytime i am feeling d o w n, i just watch on of your videos. after that, i would be a smol happy bean! :D
1 likeOk but in all seriousness now tho even tho I’m super late and no one will see this but still, u r not alone Dodie we are all here for you and we love you so much. Be happy for us and live your happy life and live good okay? We love you so much! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
1 likeThank you so much for sharing ♥ makes me feel not so alone
0 likesNow watching this I wonder how many people are actually depressed. You explained it really well and to the people who are sad and say “I’m depressed” aren’t really most of the time. Dodie is just me most days tbh. This video is me
0 likesThis is better than watching a movie right now. It's so raw, real life. I like it <3
0 likesthank you so much for this and for all you do.
0 likesI love this so much I have a therapist too and people judge me and I don’t know why but it really helps
0 likesThis.
0 likesTHIS.
THIS.
How has she perfectly described it?
This is exactly how I feel like, 90% of the time. Which is shit but whatever. And this was perfect.
i remember watching this like eight months ago and being amazed at how accurately i related.
0 likesbut now looking back on watching this I can't find what bit i related to? which is good i'm so glad i don't feel this way (every day) anymore
what's changed: i now know what SSRI's are and have gone back to camhs (after literally just refusing to go to group therapy 2 years ago) because other certain stuff (not depression) has gotten worse and i'm now more mature about it and realise i need to talk to people without sugar-coating it and refusing help.
i'm glad my mental state depression wise has improved.
Replies (1)
like I have a different way of thinking about things now which are more mature because THIS THING has been a long term thing that i've just gotten so fed up of having panic attacks over and crying over
0 likesi don’t have to talk to my therapist anymore i’ll just show her this because you just spoke my mind you’re lovely
0 likesDepression feels like an Outerbody experience...almost like a movie...it's like your soul talks to you on a daily like why are you feeling like this...and then your brain captures moments when you were at peace ....depression man smh
1 likeI feel like this a lot and everyone always just tells me “you’re lazy” or “it’s all in your head”. Sometimes people just don’t understand until they go through it themselves
0 likesThis may kill the whole point of advocacy and if everyone did it, it would create a ton of embittered unkind receptionists, but if you are desperate to see that specialist, you should be able to ask who you were referred from your primary care give because it may actually be someone specific. I live in Canada with universal health care and work with folks who are low-income, typically have addictions and concurrent health issues, so when I get someone who is like, I cannot wait, I call the health provider who made the referral, ask for the person the referral was made to, and while as a private citizen I can't say whether they will give the contact information out, from just their name you may be able to sus out the contact deats and go ahead with contacting them directly and do the thing of being like, I really need support. Now, all of this may be insurmountable when super depressed or even far to vulberable when not, so possibly having someone else in your life you trust advocating for you may just go a ways. Like, you be there to be like hey, my representative here will talk to you and I give that consent, step out of the room, and then the other person can take over and be like we were wondering where they are in the referral process, if there is an estimation of wait time, and then whatever the response, give a little summary of the need to see someone sooner if it feels too far away. Hell, the person that calls on your behalf, just call em' you advocate. The person on the other line doesn't have to know they are your aunt or some random person. Sometimes even referrals are lost and that is a part of the delay. Just happened today with a client of mine that was referred 3 weeks prior and she now has an appointment for next week (partially because the receptionist feels probably guilty about the referral being missed).
1 likeI always feel like this, especially at school due to my Social Anxiety. I constantly have to ask for reassurance from my friends. I also have OCD where I get horrible intrusive and paranoid thoughts. Sometimes when I ask my friends if they hate me they get rude and annoyed but I can't help it...
0 likesI just had a friend leave me because they saw me as narcissistic, I can't help having to constantly ask if my friends like me. It's not my fault I cry when everyone else is talking to eachother and nobody is talking to me. I'm not lazy because I decide to miss school from a panic attack. I'm not pathetic if I can't take part in an event after I've had an anxiety attack about how many people are going to be there.
I always feel so pressured in social situations, recently another friend has organized us in a team for a challenge in my business class. We get given £10 and keep whatever profit we get. I find it extremely difficult to say 'No' to things so I agreed. My friend arranged that we go out together to buy tons of cake supplies and set up a stall in town and at school. I tried explaining that I couldn't do it but they got angry at me and said that I wasn't helping at all. I can't help being so scared to leave the house, I don't want to put myself through the countless hours of stress from over worrying about what to wear, who to tell, how to get to the location, what to say, what to make, what to sell, how to act and how to even cope.
I'm sorry if this is unreadable, I think that it's good to unload and rant.
It's crazy watching this and listening to her describe how she sees the world after she posted the video about her derealization.
0 likes1:37 YES. I have been trying to find the right words to explain how I'm feeling and I think you said it: messy.
0 likesAs a psychologist who has never had depression before, I realize that I cannot fully understand what depression is like, but I try very hard to understand what someone is going through. I don't try to solve the problem (I know that can be very frustrating to someone who is depresssed), I just sit down and listen to them and talk to them. I am not a therapist, but I give hugs to anyone who wants them and I try to make people as comfortable as I can. Always seek to understand rather than fix, and remember you never have to apologize for how you feel. :) <3
0 likeslove this video so much 🌸
2 likesIt’s so good and weird relating to everything she’s saying. It’s never happened before. This feels strangely okay.
0 likesAlso, bottom right is that Hugsy- Joeys penguin from Friends??
Dodie I'm like you. I enjoy life and all but depression though. I might be all energized and happy one day and then the day after I'm a depressed piece of shit. Honestly I don't know anymore.
0 likesI feel this every day
0 likeslaughing so hard you could fall over when anything even slightly funny happened. being so sad inside but trying so hard to compensate by showing the world how happy you are. depression was never an on and off thing, but some days hurt less than others. I'm only praying for the day this weight lifts off of all of us for good, and we achieve happiness once and for all.
0 likesI always come back to this video when I’m depressed
0 likesBeing depressed is very new to me. I just feel like I’m existing. I don’t wanna do anything. I don’t care about my school work, the cleanliness of my room, the opinions of my parents. The only thing that kinda makes me feel better is working myself to death.
1 likeThis is so relatable oh my god! thank you!!!!
0 likesi needed this so so so much. thank you.
0 likesI woke up feeling like this. I kept hitting the snooze button for 4 hours. My parents literally had to drag me out of bed at 2:30 pm to take a shower and eat. I’m stuck on my couch not wanting to talk to anyone thinking just like how dodie was thinking here. I deal with depersonalization episodes and that’s happening today as well. I know these days occur. I deal with thyroid problems, anxiety, depression. I’m medicated for all of them. Even though I feel good most of the time now, these days happen. Just gotta wait for the good times to return.
0 likesyou clearly described how i feel most of the time...should i get worried about myself?
0 likesI'm kinda surprised that dodoe goes through my daily and just tries her best and, on the opposite, here I am, negative and tired. Lol
0 likesA tip for derealisation/depersonalisation: my therapist taught me to ground myself every time I get caught up in that awful mindset, so I would focus on an object far away and take in exactly how it looks, describing it like I was writing it in a story; then I imagine how it would feel if I was to be holding the object, the temperature, the surface, is it rough or smooth? Then imagine crushing/scratching/generally interacting with the object and think about how that would sound; imagine lifting the object to your nose and giving that guy a whiff, what does it smell like? is it pleasant or offensive? I usually skipped over taste because I would be staring at a leaf or something, but you can imagine tasting the object if you really want. I’m now disassociation free and feeling connected to life and experiencing how I should be :)
0 likesThis how I feel everyday
0 likesIs it bad that I watch this every time I have a day like this?
0 likesTbh iv gotten so much better because of you Dodie Doodle 💙
0 likesIf you ever need to talk I’m here even though I’m just one more fan who would love to talk to you in any way i can we all seriously care about you
Wow I just realised I have depersonalisation, someone actually explaining how I feel I thought I was the only one who got like this
0 likesi could never put this into words. thankyou.
0 likesIts harder when you're forced to go to school than on weekends or something
0 likesI understand depression so well now...
0 likesi remember watching this with a normal functioning head when i was younger and i never understood this video. now, with my more fucked up head i understand this so much...
0 likesi didn't think i would relate to this this much...
0 likesmy therapist calls my depression "an escape addict" I want to live in bed and not wake up from sleep but I don't want to die. my depression too is physical and I get tension in my head and head aches.sometimes I feel that no one understands and when they don't I get mad and angry dodie please respond
0 likesYeah this is true, my mood everyday
0 likesI'm literally crying right now. Maybe I have to talk to someone.
0 likeswow-way to put depression into words.. I think I've been depressed for a while now and it has caused me to eat to fill the never-ending hole inside.
0 likesHi, Dodie my depressive state is caused from Schizophrenia. you are doing honey.
0 likesWhen I’m sad I binge and regret it later, that makes me sad. Lol it’s a vicious cycle
0 likesI never knew someone felt the exact same way...
0 likesYep, me. I don't have depersonalisation but when I wake up and my depression kicks in I don't want to leave my bed. But I have to, because I'm twelve and go to school. So, when I go to school I can't focus in my lessons properly. It's not like I'm sad or angry, but just plain emotionless.
0 likesSome days when I get so severely depressed I lie in bed all day and cry and cry and cry. My depression can get so bad at times that I can’t even go to school nor get out of bed. :(
1 likeDarn now I want some peas in the pod still
0 likesComing from my experience
0 likesDepression: just eating thats all it is constant eating and feeling exactly how she explains
Anorexia: dont eat ya fat pig even if ur only 100 pounds when you should be 120
But is depressed all the time so its a constant binge then regret and hatred towards myself
And im here for like 7 days not feeling depressed and say "This don't feel right." I'm not ready to feel fine for a straight 7 days because once you feel depressed again itll feel more bad. This is a record for not feeling depressed. Like literally 7 days without it doesn't feel so right.
0 likesI relate so much to this video
0 likesAgreed w everything you’ve said
0 likesWhen I'm genuinely sad and crying I can't breathe
1 likeLike the weight in my chest is so bad I can't breathe and I panic and I can't breathe more
God, I am depressed. I have this wierd feeling all the time and it's been a year but I'm only 16 and I don't want to be... depressed
0 likesThis is me, everyday.. but I‘m okay.
0 likesthis actually tells a lot about her condition, like the feeling of being spaced out and not feeling awake etc.
0 likesI can relate a lot, i have good days and bad days too, luckily today is a good day and I'm gonna sleep around my friends house which i haven't done in forever since I've been venting for the past year, it's so annoying since last year on new years eve i was supposed to have a good time with my family but i ended up feeling anxious and depressed and just went to my room and hid, hopefully i won't be the same this year aha 😅😊
0 likesLast year I think I suffered from depression. I never got diagnosed since I never got help. The doctor asked. I hesitated. Then I lied. I sometimes remember something my dad told me that I guess is true. "You might be upset now but its okay. Youll be bubbly and happy in the morning" theres always this bliss when you first wake up. No matter what goes wrong, there is always a bit of sweetness. That sweet will go sour someday, so you find another place to feel home, where the fruit are fresh and there is new, sweeter berries. Its okay if something goes sour. Just find a new sweet.
0 likesThis is the most real video I've seen.
0 likesWow
So relatable it hurts:(
0 likesMy depressive episodes are normally spent sleeping. I went to bed at 9:00 on the 25th and woke up now.
0 likesI want to hug you I can relate so much
0 likesRandomly looking on YouTube for videos to cheer me up. I think I've found one
0 likesI’ve been depressed every day.
0 likesWanting to go back to who you used to be... Feeling like someone stole a part of you And wondering if you will ever get it back again. I totally that. Thought I was the only one.
0 likes"so I woke up today and I'm like yeah, I'm depressed"
0 likesOh dodie. I just wanted to check up on you! I hope you are at your best today! I’m a little late to this vid. But is sure do hope you are feeling better my friend. (and idol but You know)
0 likeswow okay I can relate
0 likesthere was a ad with horses and a guy trying hard and not getting sleep before this vid and it actually helped me with my sleep and made my depression a lil less worse
0 likesThis is the type of girl I am gonna have to marry. "Normal" girls are too much to handle, lol
0 likesWhen I’m depressed I can’t even speak.
0 likesOh my god the depression is my best friend
0 likes2:24 to 2:34 bc you just cant. U just cant "choose" happiness.
0 likesYa I feel you
0 likesi feel like this today
0 likesI am bullied and I am always depressed and that’s my life
0 likes“I’m still spaced out. Still don’t feel awake” I started crying ??
0 likesbeing an adult is depression
0 likesAwe who else could see dodies tear streaks on her face
0 likesDepressed dodie swears more.
0 likesAnd watches rick and morty thats kewl
I am always open if you wanna share tips or just talk about this rare condition I also suffer from ♥️ never forget you still can live a happy life with it
0 likesHuh. I've felt that before. Like once lol. Maybe twice... idk.
0 likesI tried to watch this. I REALLY DID. But the mouth noises really kept me from doing it. Someone PLEASE tell me what she talks about
0 likesGot any advice for someone dating someone else with depression?
0 likes#relateable
1 likeI don’t know what I have. Sometimes I just am struck with me not feeling happiness. I’ll do something and feel not good. Or sometimes One little thing will go wrong and I’ll start hyperventilating and freaking out for no reason and I don’t know why. It doesn’t help that I’m surrounded by negativity either. Or that some of my friends don’t really hang out with me at my house. They would start talking to someone else in particular and start laughing and wheezing and shouting and having fun without realizing that I’m there too. I don’t like to talk about my feelings with other people because they won’t understand. All they’ll do is hug me and say it was something they did and that they would try to do better. It makes me not happy when that happens too me. I already know that once I tell someone something it would go all around school from people telling other people. This probably really boring I’m sorry but I just don’t know what to do or label my self with anything because I feel like it would be too dramatic.
0 likesyou eat vegtables when you are deppressed.... ooh thats cute....it takes me more than 5 extra kilograms added to my body to get over my deppresion
0 likesNormally I'm lucky cause when it kicks in I'm at home but the other day I was at school and one class I was fine then the next one my teacher was late so I just sat on the ground against the wall my friends asking what was wrong and I just didn't wanna answer and then the rest of the day I felt like that, it was great!!!! ( not )
0 likesAnyway... if anyone read this, have a nice life!
Literally my life 😒
0 likesGiiiiiiiiiirl ya purfect!!! fuck them haters. Don't let the haters stop you from doing your thaaaang
0 likesShe was watching Rick and Morty 😂💓
0 likesI fucking cried. I’m in the middle of a depressive episode. You did and said everything I did... I’m so scared that i will never be okay again. & the hope I once had is gone and im so mad that people say I matter! If I do, then why aren’t they there for me when I had screamed for help? Oh I should snap out of it, right? Cos it’s all in my head? All that don’t let get to your head and be fucking strong bullshit. I seeked help and tried fighting for my own life, and to hear people say that I should be EVEN more stronger than that is fucking insulting.
0 likesyea me too dodie :(
4 likesI am depressed everyday
0 likesThen the world says: What a negative attitude you have! Simply pull yourself together. Don't you know only you have the power to change this behaviour? Decide that you're not going to be like this! It's a choice! Change your point of view. Breathe! Think positive! Go to the gym! Don't you know it's all in your head? And always remember, other people have it worse.
0 likesI think everyone is a little depressed more so others. I think we all can relate.
16 likesYou watch Rick and Morty 😄 me too
77 likesReplies (2)
Lol i thought it was bobs burgurs
0 likesSinéad Reichenberg Wubulubadubdub!
1 like>I am depressed today
0 likes>today
the absolute current state of """depression"""
Everyone here is like
52 likes"Same"
Me
"Can't relate 😐"
Replies (5)
But I love you so much dodie😊
2 likesThat's good
21 likesJadeisunderage I'm glad
12 likesSame
0 likesJadeisunderage good for you, you're spared of one of the worst feelings in the world
28 likesDodie: Lol stop killing ur self
2 likesMe: laughs crap I’m a bad person I’m going to go die now😅
aaaaaaaaah this is so right. This is what it feels like.
3 likesI mean in the summer, sometimes I just manage to live in the moment... for like an hour... you know when there are games at the pool that require your full attention and all that. And then, suddenly, when it stops, everything comes back. I remember very well my cousin telling me "but you were having so much fun earlier" yeah but now it's not earlier anymore. And as soon as the cheering voices stopped the music came back into my head, so loud that I had to put in my earphones and listen to it. The music is generally one of the many depressing songs I know by heart. These days I've gone back to the Downward Spiral. Actually today was A Warm Place...
I think I've also reached a new level this year, not being able to get out of bed at times. Like literally unable to get up, provided I'm able to move at all. It's not nice. Not nice at all.
But yeah, I've gone into this periodic thing where every... I don't know how long (trying to figure out actually, but I need more time to confirm that I'm right) it'll come back. I guess it's not so much of a natural state, more like of what happens half the time. Well it used to be the normal state. Now I've managed to get it further away. I guess. Now that I think about it it's always present in the back of my mind. But I see it more as weather. Maybe cause the name I put on it was the fog (you know, they advise you to do that, like Churchill called his depression his black dog...). Maybe it's cause I've grown to hate strong winds cause they've been associated too many times with things going wrong and this led me to consider them the bringers of depression. But... it's just... waves. I don't know.
I realise no one's going to read this, it's a comment on Youtube and it's way too long but I'll write it anyways.
Thanks for sharing this Dodie, it's nice to realise I'm not that alone in feeling the way I do.
Replies (2)
Got more of an anger problem though. Tendency to just go mad after a while when things annoy me. Like I can keep watching shows if they really bore me when I'm depressed cause afterwards they'll just start pissing me off and I'll just want to smash my laptop (or whatever I'm watching the show on) on the wall or throw it out the window. Funny it doesn't do it so much with games though. Those I just lose all energy and cannot play and stop playing. Probably has to do with the difference between passively watching a show against actively playing.
0 likesBut I do tend to become aggressive when I'm depressed and I'm starting to wonder if there's anything against that.
But I agree with you that when it comes in social situations, it's bad. It tends to happen a lot to me at parties (last year it was almost all the time) and I just shut down and sit in a corner and it gets worse and I just have to leave before I become way too touchy and aggressive or just depressed beyond measure... yeah. Memories of not happy times coming back.
I don't know why this happen, it's weird. And I've done psychology. But I don't have a clue how the fuck this works. How some situations can just turn so bad and everything just feels wrong and boring and annoying...
Hope there'll be a way to make this better one day :/
Somehow I came back to this vid. I was gonna comment, I saw my old comment, I decided to answer to it. So I guess this is an update? Eh.I somehow got 3 likes on the original comment but no one will read this anyways, right?
0 likesYeah. So. SSRI. Been there, done that. Or should I say am there doing that? Escitalopram. Works ok. That anger I realised I mentioned? It's now manageable. Maybe it's also related to my bereavement/grief trauma-like thing that was still very fresh 8 months ago. Maybe I finally moved passed the second stage.
But yeah. Spaced out. Well I don't know if it's gotten worse or if I've just been noticing it more, if it's that I've gone back to uni and the lack of sleep came back contrary to this summer (and last term where I almost never had 9 am lectures) but… it's definitely here. And I'm not sure if it was gradual since a while back or if it started in September when I got on SSRI but it's been kinda around the same time… but then again, so have a lot of things.
Yeah. I know you've tried AD, Dodie, you mentioned it in the derealisation video and you've also mentioned the… magnetic field thing (I can't remember the name). Wish it was easier for me to get access to those but French living in Aberdeen all the way up north in Scotland with no easy access to transport to get to Edinburgh if even some appointment was found there and anyways no time to do so and nothing in my little village in the middle of nowhere back home in France with virtually inexistant public transport and only a month or two at best spent home… well yeah. That's shit.
There's uni counselling. You can't take more than 4 sessions per term. So that's nice. Maybe I'll talk to my GP next term and try to get a therapist if this keeps going on. Idk. Maybe that'd eventually help? Eh.
At least I've got a couple friends to talk to. So that's nice.
I hope that you've been doing better.
I don't know why I'm posting that.
I guess it's to serve as a reminder. Maybe in a couple years I'll stumble upon these and remember. A bit like a journal. But for everyone to see. For once I'm ok with that.
Thank you ;-; ♡
0 likes14 year old females have entered the chat
7 likesReplies (1)
Wow, way to devalue every 14 year old female’s problems. I know they are usually around the age where they feel like shit, but saying that is really demotivating to 14 year old suffering from depression and anxiety or literally anything else. This probably isn’t even a big deal to most people, but I’ve heard too many times that I’m just a 14 year old girl that is just begging for attention. Just my two cents
3 likesAnd than you have to go to school at 7 am
6 likesI had to stop the video at 4.36 because i was getting really anxious and uncomfortable 😕
0 likesIt’s interesting to find out there’s people out there who aren’t depressed every day, and only depressed once in a while. I’ve been continuously depressed everyday, never stops. Had no idea some people with depression don’t experience it every day.
3 likesReplies (1)
I was diagnosed with clinical depression and have been taking medication for two years now and I experience days where I am depressed and other days when I am more positive or not depressed at all. Maybe seeing a therapist or taking medicine might help because it most certainly helped me. And also, that's because there are different kinds of depression. Mental Illness is a fascinating topic that I think more people should talk about. I do hope you feel better and get help 💞
0 likesLike I want to hang out with friends but I don't want to talk to anyone and I'm hungry but I don't see a point in eating when I'm gonna die anyone someday and like I wanna read but I don't wanna finish the book like I feel so dull and nothing is making me laugh and I just can't do anything right now
3 likesReplies (1)
Liz.L SAME. It’ll pass though. I just always know it’ll come back and I get even more depressed. Death sounds so relaxing
0 likeshi depressed today im dad
9 likesokay but summer smith likes girls and i’m thriving on it
0 likesThe amount of people self diagnosing in the comment section
36 likesReplies (5)
L Lawliet is that a bad thing?
1 likeWeethetniet its not bad , but it's better to be professionally diagnosed. If you are pessimistic on purpose for attention, and call yourself depressed , that's not cool. And other times you might have another mental illness that's not depression
12 likesWeethetniet it’s not necessarily a bad thing but it creates a lot of problems for people who are professionally diagnosed with certain types of depression. Stereotypes created by young, immature people who are convinced they are "depressed" can caused others to not take these topics seriously.
3 likeslara arif I agree with this :)
0 likesI haven’t been diagnosed with depression, because I have been diagnosed with social anxiety and I’m terrified to go get diagnosed. I’m pretty sure I have it. I self harm. I hate myself. Most days I can’t get out of bed. And much much more.
0 likesYOU'RE NOT DEPRESSED, MAKING A VIDEO IS BEING PRODUCTIVE AND BEING PRODUCTIVE IS A SIGN OF NOT BEING DEPRESSED
5 likesReplies (4)
Bipolar Depressed here, you clearly have no idea how depression works lol
0 likes@french fries I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING PAST 6 MONTHS, SIR! I KNOW WHAT IT IS AND STILL GOING THROUGH.
0 likesYeah but like,,, there are different levels of severity. Making a youtube video doesn’t mean shes not depressed
0 likeswtf
0 likesI feel like depression is a side product of the capibilty to think deeply.
209 likesReplies (6)
Hunter Adams no, it's not. Depression it's the capibilty of think exaggeratedly pessimistic without any hope so that males you think "why i need to keep trying?"; Is like your mind lying to you about that everything it's wrooong forever but it's not.
43 likesAnd Well, you can been sad just for think deeply things. I know it because I had been un both sides.
hannah-joy walker exactly, mental illness it's nothing beautiful
17 likesDepression isn’t seeing the world from a gray veil, it’s when you believe that the veil has been taken away and all you can see is the truth. But you’re really just caught up in your head and on your perspective, which is often absolutely irrational and overwhelmingly blown out of proportion. It’s not a beautiful thing, depression is an issue people rarely talk about, which is why I’m glad Dodie made this video. If it just helps one person who doesn’t struggle with depression understand, then it’s awareness.
27 likesI think both are right. Yes you overthink a lot in the bad way. The thoughts are negative all the time. But at the same time, it gives u a way to think deeply (of course, in a negative way). However, this is not a good thing for ur head. Putting u down always is frustrating and is really bad
9 likesPlease don't romanticize depression
6 likesI don’t think so.
1 likeLondon is so depressing move to cali
54 likesReplies (12)
squidward tentacles cali is crazy though
6 likesAna Hélène eh
0 likeslol when i lived in malibu i was at my worst deppression-wise, now i live in london and i've never been happier!
1 like+squidward tentacles
7 likesyou obviously don't know what depression is :)
Matty Reymoor yes i do i live in South central haha
1 likesquidward tentacles dude... your living/financial situation often has absolutely nothing to do with your mental health... nothing to do with weakness, just chemical imbalance.
6 likesAlicia Sydney I'll be happy with more money! I'll buy myself some love too (:
1 likesquidward tentacles
2 likesI also live in a very rough place, but that doesn't naturally translate into the mental state of the people living there. It can hit anyone, anywhere.
squidward tentacles well my medicine is legal there aka weed 😁
1 likeeveryone in russia is depressed lol
4 likeshell no, move to japan or the philippines.
7 likessquidward tentacles no London is great
0 likesNo. Depression isn’t a daily thing...
0 likes2 views and 106 likes
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Teal W. YouTube, go home you're drunk
9 likesTeal W. seriously like wtf
0 likesTeal W. 3 views, 1k likes 😂
3 likesTeal W. Its cause it only counts a view when you pass 30 seconds I think, and lots of people like before watching it all.
1 likeooo, 421 likes and 2 views now
2 likesTeal W. i love youtube
1 likeyes, becaues that's whats important about this video and it doesn't happen with literally every video
7 likeswait... that seemed right for a seccond.
0 likesdepression is not a feeling
3 likesI need the people who are depressed but still achieving things like going to school everyday or maintaining a decent social live and pursuing some hobbies to tell. Me. How do you do that? Are you forcing yourself or do you just have a sheer survival will, how do you manage it? I'm serious I need some advice because I'm trying really hard and nothing seems to work :(
0 likesI just feel guilty and sad like i have done something wrong and i feel sick i dunoo
0 likesyou can't just be depressed one day... i say this as someone who suffered from horrific, crippling depression that led me to be sectioned.
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somersks. it could be off and on, more days are worse than others. It's not like you're all happy and cheery all the time with one bad day. It's always there but sprouts out at certain times.
7 likesYou really can. I mean you seem to feel empty everyday, but that's not how depression works for a lot of people. For a lot of people, including myself, there's some good days and there are days when you're an empty unmotivated piece of shit that isn't really feeling a paticular emotionn, just being miserable. But there definitely can be days where you feel fine.
2 likesi have chronic depression and there are certainly days that suck harder than normal like dodie's described in the video.
1 likeDementors get you girl!
1 like"I feel this constant longing for something, and I'm not getting it." I know I may get some dislikes for this, but I feel like I was led here to write this comment for someone. If you have a longing for something in your life, I have the answer. Jesus. Jesus fills the void. I and many others can attest for this. But that's not what's important. I just want you to know that Jesus loves you and if you have something missing in your life, it's Him.
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say it louder for the people in the back
9 likesMinnieMuffins people shouldn't be disliking this. I personally don't believe in any religion, but it doesn't give me the right to not respect others religions. And I think it's great that people can find hope in something.
5 likesI used to be catholic but BOOM this void Dodie talks about unfilled me and now I can't believe in anything...
0 likesI think i feel like this every day but i dont kjow what is normal
0 likesAnyone know what camera she uses?
0 likesSo dramatic
4 likesi feel like this is like trying to make depression cute in a weird way. she has her hair all curled and in this cute top bun, a cute sweater, a small little snack and watching tv. depression is not even leaving bed, not showering, eating, etc. it's not cute like this. i understand you had good intentions making this but whatever its not like this for me at least
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Bailey Brooks exActly
0 likesBailey Brooks have you watched her other videos please dont leave your opinion from watching a single video
2 likesUh. yeah true but i eat alot..
0 likes@Lesley Polanco true
0 likesmaybe thats how you think of this; you see the cute of the sweater and the bun and the fun of the tv show and the snack. dodie, at least in this state, probably didn't. depressed people try to do what's normal or amusing for them in an attempt to cheer themselves up. it's like you're playing a character; the 'happy' version of you likes wearing this sweater, so the depressed version of you tries to mimic that.
2 likesDodie I don't want to sound patronising or anything so I'm really sorry if this sounds bad I don't mean it to! But for me having a faith & believing in God gives me so much hope and joy and purpose. I look at the universe and I think how can this all be by chance? For me, opening my mind to God is what makes me fulfilled and realise that everything is here for a reason and we have purpose and are loved. Idk just thought I'd throw that out there. Thank you for sharing how you have been feeling on low days because your vids are very raw & real and I think that's so important. I love you ❤️
64 likesReplies (16)
God is more than your ups and downs ♥
4 likesannarchy i believe in God but it doesn't give me any joy or sense of purpose because sometimes I feel like everything is just shit now and it always will be. I'm just waiting for an uncertain death and hoping for a good eternal afterlife but I would still feel depressed because I don't have a choice what if I don't want eternity but would be punished for killing myself ? I didn't ask to be born I have chronic eczema on my face since I was 6 so I hate summer and I've never had any friends so what is my purpose?
1 likeKit I agree with you. Religion can help in some sense but depression is an illness of the mind. The chemical imbalance needs to be reset and so do the psychological issues and for both of those therapy is necessary. I know religion can help in times of sadness but please people don't ever tell someone whos depressed to 'pray it away' because just like you can't pray a broken bone away you cannot pray depression away either.
14 likesRita Leci I agree completely. I'm pretty Christian and have depression, and on bad days I kinda just do what dodie does and accept it, knowing that it'll go away. But also, on those days I can feel God reminding me that you don't have to feel 100% okay 100% of the time! I mean, no one does. I don't like the mantra that being Christian=being happy all the time, because if I never felt down I don't think I'd be able to be very compassionate, and that wouldn't make a very good Christian or just person in general, really.
3 likesShe never said to pray her depression away, I'm a Christian and when I struggle with depression the facts that God has purpose for my life and I wouldn't want my family to feel that pain are usually the only things that keep me alive during that time. No matter how purposeless I feel I know the truth and I have something to hold onto.
5 likesCassandra Naranjo I know, but to me it sounded like they meant remembering God's plan would make it go away. I was just trying to explain it in a way that encompassed both the reality of depression and the presence of God. Your assessment of it was a lot better than mine, actually, thank you.
0 likesdaggernrose your english is perfect there xx
1 likeKit It isn't safe to assume that everyone's faith in God is blind.... Through everything that's changed in my life, through depression and losing friends and family and my own self changing, the only constant that's been is God. He's the only thing that has always come back to help me up. All the other stuff you mentioned is absolutely very important, but that doesn't make God any less real or important.
2 likesI so value this comment, and most of the responses. Jesus came to give us real life, hope, purpose... and that doesn't mean we don't experience pain or illness (mental included!). In the days you're depressed, that is valid- and God's got truth for you, and He will carry you through it.
1 likeIt's interesting that you say blind faith, and it hurts my heart to hear your experience with faith- Jesus came because we can never "make" our lives worth something- He says we already have great worth! By grace I live, and I don't have to try to be enough. God is in the practical and present with you in the dark hours. He doesn't erase that all right now, but He's here with you and He'll bring you through it. God gives us hope-- but He also gives us therapists, medicine, support... <3
0 likesJust something to think on, thanks for sharing your perspective-Kit.
When I was depressed for a few years, the sweetest times were in some of the worst of times- I am thankful that God sits with us in our pain, He cares for every big and small hurt. On the days you can't get out of bed, He loves you most, He's there, caring and giving grace, as ever before.
0 likesJuliette, on your most hurting days, remember that there's nothing you could ever do to make Jesus love you more or less, His love for you is and always will be more than we can ever fathom. I hope you're reminded of His love for you tonight.
i am happy for you that you are feeling better through that, but to me religion kind of ruined me. i still have depression and anxiety but mentally leaving the church (my parents still force me to go and i have to lie about believing) made me feel sooo much better. am i the only one? my life would be so much better if religion wasn't constantly being shoved down my throat (not talking about you im talking about society and my family)
2 likeskarsi 00 Same! :)
0 likesannarchy karsi 00 I can totally see where both u guys are coming from. there's a difference (and I seriously don't want to be offensive or patronizing at all) between religion and going to God for relief. think of it this way: religion says 'do.' it's forceful and rules about how to be 'good.'. God is a voice that knows how to listen and when to speak comfort into someone's life. so yeah just didn't want to pick between a side or anything and didn't want to make this seem like an argument or anything
1 likeannarchy you shouldn't feel ashamed that you found something that makes you happy/ works for you. many people use therapy, medication, exercise, etc... and religion is no different. I personally am not that religious but I hate the stigma people have around those who are.
0 likesBeck Styles If that's what you believe, fine. But don't make their belief seem like such a bad thing. Thank you for the over all useless input.
1 likeRead the new testament. It won't cure your depression but it'll show you the truth of what's going on in our world. Best of luck to all of you. Fight on.
0 likesHello my beauties. If y'all are interested in mental health awareness my bestie has designed and released amazing designs for Spark Support charity. The newest one being 'The seratonin starry night sky' I already have 2 tshirts and for such great prices. All the money goes to the charity. She makes no profit at all. Go check it out 💜💜💜
1 likehttps://www.sparksupport.co.uk/product-category/clothing/francesca-lane/
Your going about curing your depression all wrong you don't eat green peas to cure your depression. You eat ice cream 🍦🍧=happiness
18 likesReplies (6)
sweetie no...
11 likesoof... that wasn't tasteful
8 likesdepression doesn't just go away if you eat ice cream. in my experience, it actually makes it worse to sit around pigging out because then at the end of the day i feel even more like absolute garbage
10 likesCelestial Demon lol if I ate ice cream whenever I was depressed I would be even fatter than I already am (if that’s possible)
1 likeYah i’d get diabetes if i ate ice cream everytime i was depressed
2 likesi like to run when i feel extra depressed, because the strain of my body makes me feel something, and i can feel good about doing something that's good for me
2 likesNo treatment for depression should be complete if food sensitivities are not considered. Depression is a symptom of gluten sensitivity. Non-organic dairy products can also have the same effect. To know if this is your issue, simply avoid both all wheat products and all conventional dairy products for a week. This will cost you nothing & involves no medication. If necessary, avoid all dairy. A complete elimination diet is also a good idea if needed. Gluten sensitivity is a frequently misdiagnosed problem because Drs tend to treat only individual symptoms. Meds may not fix them. Good luck.
0 likeshonestly makes me sick how she’s using it as an adjective to just be thrown out there
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chelsea she's not though
3 likesCynthia Ken and how isnt she?
0 likeschelsea How is she?
5 likesShe's describing her feeling let her
12 likesShe's describing how she feels. She's allowed to say she has Depression or is Depressed, especially if she's been diagnosed with Depression.
21 likesikr, i don't have depression and i haven't been diagnosed or anything but it annoys me as well for some reason
1 likeTo me, depression is like that. Some days it’s like a rose thorn in a bears hand and other days it is the bear.
0 likesShe means how it’s so much worse today. That is so hard to describe.
I don't know her personally but she's talked alot about her depression. Also depression and being depressed are different. Depression-a chemical in balance of serotonin and other "happiness" inducing brain fluid. Depressed - a synonym for sad or solemn
3 likeschelsea ikr?? She barely had any idea what the medication was all about, surely she would know??
0 likeschelsea I don’t think of it like that because she genuinely IS depressed.
1 like????
1 likeJs sorry if this has been repeated
There are different types of depression that can switch on and off. You can have good days and bad days. Shes been diagnosed. Its chemical. Sorry I don’t really understand What are you implying?
She has been diagnosed? She has depersonalization? She has every right to use depressed as an adjective and since she's been experiencing this for such a long time the word has probaboy become not such a big deal
1 likeMaybe you should try Jesus. He changed my life completely 😊.
49 likesReplies (29)
no
38 likesSantiago Lizarazo Religion does not solve problems like these for everybody. Maybe it helped you, but it's more than just a choice.
41 likesReligion is wonderful. But faith doesn't always heal everything. Depression is an illness and should be treated. But I love being Christian because it gives me hope...it gives me purpose. It makes me happy. And isn't that worth it?
26 likesJesus, therapy, medication, and a community of people who love me changed my life completely!!!!!!!!
12 likesIvanIsn'tHere yes, it does. If you truly let God into your life He changes everything completely and if you ask him to help you with anything he will.
3 likesagreed. I found hope in life from God. everything made sense and i feel less scared and sad and angry of the world with Him. its so much more better, even with occasional depression its infinitely better than before. Im a Jesus freak! stay alive |-/
7 likesIvanIsn'tHere They were just making a suggestion based on personal experience.
3 likesYou can't exactly force someone to believe in someone they don't believe in, plus religion isn't going to magically cure a mental illness such as depression, you need physical medical aid for that. I understand you're trying to help though :D
13 likesI love this comment bc I was raised Christian. Jesus fucked me up man. That shit is too deep.
0 likes+Twenty øne Phans they're not forcing anyone lol.
10 likesTwenty øne Phans No one is forcing anyone. Some suggested therapy. Some suggested medication. Some suggested faith. It doesn't become "forcing" just because it's the one you don't agree with.
12 likesJesus might not give me physical treatment, but at least he gives me hope :)
10 likesWasn't trying to say they did, I just meant faith might not be the right answer for dodie considering she herself doesn't believe
3 likessame 😊 I'm still insecure and things but Jesus is pretty cool
2 likesMe as well. I have anxiety, OCD, derealization, Tourette's and ADD. While you may not feel physically better sometimes, there's a hope in Christ that can lift a weight from you. So in a way, I feel like when you spiritually feel better, you can mentally feel better. Sometimes I pray for God to take away my derealization. Sometimes He does, sometimes He doesn't. But I know His will is perfect, so when the answer is "wait" or "not now", I know it's for a reason, and I can rest in that. :)
4 likesSee, the interesting thing about this is that since you're praying to a non-existent god, you're actively putting yourself into a positive mindset without realizing it. Since you think there's a god who loves you, your brain accepts this love and uses it as fuel for happiness.
5 likesI went to reconciliation and I was really scared as I finally told the priest I believe in God and I love Jesus but I don't follow or support the Catholic Church. I thought he would hate me for it but he told me he thought I was very brave and that Jesus is always proud of me and he's my friend and loves me so dearly. I always cried right there and then because this amazing priest totally lifted my burdens
3 likesSantiago Lizarazo just dont.
4 likesHannahLouisiana I know, I wasn't trying to be mean, it's just that with mental disorders religion will not work for everyone, and there are better ways to try and solve it. I was in no way trying to attack them, sorry if it sounded that way.
0 likesIvanIsn'tHere You're fine, not upset just wanted to add
0 likesMaddie P I can't tell if this is satirical or if you think that He could actually do anything.
0 likesamirite Nobody here is being unsympathetic. Some people are expressing their own views, but nobody is doing it in an angry or hurtful way. People can talk about religion without it being mean and this person isn't receiving hate. <3
0 likesamirite Nobody here is being unsympathetic. Some people are expressing their own views, but nobody is doing it in an angry or hurtful way. People can talk about religion without it being mean and this person isn't receiving hate. <3
0 likesamirite Calm down, nobody was being disrespectful at all. We were expressing our opinions just like they were expressing theirs. They can believe in what they want, and so can dodie and everyone else. I was just saying that dodie might not believe in a god and that they should be respectful of that (though it didn't seem to come out that way, and for that i apologize).
0 likesTwenty øne Phans
0 likeswell i mean i didn't rlly direct anything at you srry if it seemed that way and srry that i get ticked off easily lol
IvanIsn'tHere
0 likeswell i mean there are people directly saying no and that God isn't real to this person but ok
IvanIsn'tHere
0 likesmaybe i shouldn't have said "everyone" whoops oh well
anyways have a good day, i am going to go watch more videos about lin-manuel miranda now
+Twenty øne Phans im sorry, but may i point out that you used the exact words 'you can't exactly force someone'?? just dont jump to conclusions, please. thanks :)
0 likesabbuturtle Yeah, that was my fault, I'm not exactly the best with words, but i didn't mean to say this person forced anyone to believe in their religion. Sorry!
0 likesSorry, but I always feel like if people who say they're depressed but still can get themselves to talk and make a video or even write a book about it, it can't be that bad. In my experience a main symptom of depression is that you can't do ANYTHING but lie in bed and try to sleep forever. As long as you still can go on with your day somehow it's "only" a light version. Just my personal opinion with no claims to being right or whatever.
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It's almost like everyone's minds are different, and experience things differently. Crazy, I know.
58 likesThat is obviously both true that we experience things differently cuz we are different people and that there are different types of depression. But these "helpful" commentators didn't get my point. But it is hard to convey.
1 likeIn my opinion you can still do some things even when at the lowest of moods. All Dodie is doing here is talking to herself and a vague bit of editing. Both aren't being done to the highest of energy so I don't see how it means she has light depression?
11 likesThis was uploaded around midnight so for all we know she had been in bed all day prior to this. Not saying you're wrong but I disagree with your opinion.
SideOrderOfBeef I never claimed anything about her specific state. But I get that it could be interpreted like this. My "observation" was of a general nature about all these youtubers for example who can even turn their handicap into a business or something, which is a contradiction in my opinion.
2 likesYeah that's fair enough my bad for that.
0 likesThis comment is quite offensive to me. Yes ofc that's what you want to do, but some people can't. They have to get up and try their best to get through the day.
2 likesBuser, if you watched Dodie regularly you would see that this video was recorded and produced in a very different way than some of her other videos where she WASN'T in this state while working on them. There is a difference. Some people have high tolerances and can force themselves to do things. Especially since it's essentially her job to do so. I personally can't do shit other than lie in bed and eat junk when i'm going through a wave of depression but that doesn't mean her sickness isn't as valid as mine because she can express what she's going through in a productive way.
4 likesMarissa Swain again, I never said anything claiming HER depression is not valid. I'm just saying in general if one of the main symptoms of major depression is you lack will to live or do anything and theses youtubers can even make videos about exactly that. Then logically deducible the cutout for major depressive episode isn't reached.
0 likesIt's coincidence that I wrote this under one of her videos, could've written it about anyone's video or book or whatever about crippling depression.
But again I'm far from rating anyone's symptoms.
Claudius Buser there is a type called high-functioning depression
4 likesClaudius Buser I get what you're saying,yeah it's true. But it's more than healthy to write or film about it because you're expressing yourself in some sort,and I find that helpful.
4 likesHonestly you can do a lot of activities and still be depressed, you can be at a party, you be on a date, you can be alone at a park, you can go to work, etc. I used to do all those things and still feel depressed inside. My depression was constant and I traveled with it but now thankfully I'm ok but either way you can still do things and be depressed
5 likesdepression acts different in everyone. get over it. aaaaaaa
1 likethat bit of wisdom is also true and I AM over it. Why so much aggression in the replies? annoying.
0 likesIt's however, really helpful and healthy to analyze your feelings and making videos can be therapeutic. Yes, sometimes I have that, I space out, cry and just...exist without doing anything, but even for me, depression acts out in different ways. Some of my worst days I have fake laughed, done stuff, talked to people and at the same time been on a verge of death, really. Symptoms vary even within yourself, coming from someone who has had different degrees of depression for over a decade now. I do sometimes "envy" in a weird way people, who function with depression, but it's ridiculous in the end.
4 likesLucy Wallis Sorry but it sounds like you're invalidating her depression. Even a series of episodes can have 'higher' points. This is obviously a very different Dodie and even her movements seem sluggish. This is no way to live.
1 likeSorry but I am just a psychology student and even I know that 'marked distress + significant impairment of daily life = mental disorder'. She has been diagnosed and is currently seeking treatment. What more do you want?
WritingSchiozo101 as stressed several times, I'm not invalidating anything.
0 likesKit everything I state is only my personal truth or experience with no claim of being true for anyone else.
0 likesIf you're not trying to invalidate her depression, I don't understand why you felt the need to write this comment. To me, it sounds like you're trying to say that she's not as bad as she's making out to be, or that there are people out there who have 'worse' depression than her (judging from where you say 'it can't be that bad', in reference to people who can make videos while depressed, such as Dodie can). But the way I see it, you can't say that some people's depression is 'worse' than others, as, like many people have pointed out, everyone has different symptoms, and you can't understand how bad someone else's depression is, even if you're going through it yourself, as you probably have difference symptoms. Even during the epitome of my depression when I wanted to die, I was still able to go to school and get work done, and come out of it with decent grades. I think this is a case in point that some people are able to motivate themselves, even in the height of depression, to do things for whatever reason. While many people do have the 'lie in bed and try to sleep forever' symptom set, those people do not necessarily have 'worse' depression than those who don't.
2 likesI know, depression symptoms can't be quantified as stated several times. again, I'm not talking about her, but in general that's my observation.
0 likesIf one symptom of major depression is you can't't do ANYTHING BUT LIE IN BED, CAN'T GET UP etc
so if you can get on with your day and studies and whatnot as if you were not depressed, then you are lucky and got a kind that doesn't have those debilitating symptoms...Or you are strong enough to fight them, then I say more power to you, fortune favors the brave.
Natalie Binns well ok, please elaborate, at least a bit. Don't just tell people they're wrong and leave it at that. Not very helpful.
5 likesHi! Try googling high-functioning depression, that might help :)
0 likesDisa Tannos exactly what I'm trying to say. If you've got the high functioning kind you're " in luck".
0 likesI'm not sure. I mean, it depends on how you look at it. I certainly don't have that, I keep quitting things and restarting and quitting and restarting again as my depression comes and goes--and sometimes I feel like people with high-functioning depression are lucky because they still manage to get their shit together. But from what I read, people with high-functioning depression could be just as unhappy and even as suicidal (clinical depression is about chemical imbalance in your brain so how things work is probably different in everyone?) which means it could be more dangerous.
1 likeClaudius Buser to be honest I think you are being deliberately inflammatory as many people above have explained why you are so mislead and you are still not getting it. There is also a WEALTH of information available on and off the net so you can educate yourself further rather than going on on and saying the same things.
0 likesBut in short, just because you can function sometimes does not make your depression 'better' 'worse' or 'lucky'. A person can work day in and day out and then take their own life. They might appear to be functioning but the depression is still there. It is really not that hard to understand.
Natalie Binns oh man, serenity now. Seems to me you want to be inflamed or whatever you call that. I can only try so many times to explain that what you're claiming is not what I'm doing, that's why it seems like I'm repeating myself. Well, I feel most of the commentators get how I mean it. So let's leave it at that since we're obviously communicating on different wavelengths.
0 likesme too dodie. me too.
0 likesNooo I don’t like seeing the cry marks on your face 😞😞😢🧡I love you doodle
0 likesI think this is kind of irresponsible? I feel terrible for dodie, it's awful to feel this way and it's fine if she wants to talk about her problems and educate people, but she knows that she's got a massive audience who may well be in a vulnerable position, and saying all this without any advice or urge to get help or constructive ideas feels like she's ignoring her responsibility as a public figure. I know she may not be able to say anything positive right now, but she should also be aware of the influence she has on the well-being of others.
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Education is not faking. Education is showing both sides of a coin. Education is showing what else she can say even when at times she feels like this.
40 likesDo you really think now is the time to critisize her?
Rebecca Stenlake I agree that it's important for her to share her experiences and be honest, and I know that when I had depression I found it comforting to hear that other people felt the same way as I did, but I also know that if someone like dodie had just said at the end of their video "if you feel like this, please get some help" I would have got the support I needed and started getting better a lot sooner
5 likesHi. I am an extremely depressed and anxious person. Currently planning my death (don't worry I've never actually tried and never will I just need to fill this emptiness by making up completely random plans like hanging myself with helium balloons. I mean, come on, helium balloons?! That'd be a great way to go).
53 likesAnyway I am a person "in a vulnerable position" imo and seeing this video by Dodie makes me feel better. I know that someone else is going through the exact same things as me and that makes me want to die less. It is also a form of therapy for Dodie unbottling her problems so her brain doesn't explode. And what's more she gets loads of support from lovely people.
She mentions IN THIS VIDEO that she's in therapy and has mentioned in many other videos that she is getting help and is in contact with medical professionals and is going to therapy regularly and is getting help. So that message is there. But even when you're getting help, you still have shit days. This was her sharing hers and the reality that treatment is not a cure and that it can take a long time to find a plan that will actually help you get better.
66 likesShe takes her influence on others very seriously and this video is a part of that.
VL She has given lots of advice in many other videos, talked about therapy, how and where to find help from others and how to try to make yourself feel better.
4 likesThis video, though, might not have given any kind of advice, but made me feel a little better in a way I cant really explain.
The bad days are exactly like this – pessimism feels like plain reality and trying to be positive just makes you feel worse, and that It's your fault that you feel pain because you are too weak to get better for your own sake.
So, I dont know, this kind of made me feel like I am not alone in this? Of course It's just my point of view.
Please stop making a MENTAL ILLNESS look like a cute, fun thing. You literally don’t take medication yet ( at the time this came out) so I mean you aren’t severely depressed are you Hun
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Papa John do you watch her other videos
1 likeSoozie Plays yes they’re awful, it’s my opinion hunty she acts like a 12 yr old going through their tumblr phase
1 likePapa John I don't think so. She likes to share how she feels with her audience and in my opinion I love it. It feels nice to feel that you are not the only one. Everytime somebody talks about I don't know why you guys keep commenting OmG ShE iS sO fAkE yOu aRe nOt dEpReSsEd. You don't know how she feels You Cant read mind
2 likeswait - just because you don't take medication doesn't mean you aren't depressed??
2 likesSoozie Plays yes exactly??¿
1 likeSoozie Plays
2 likesEXACTLY.
Papa John so you have to be severely depressed and taking medication or else you aren’t depressed? Seriously? Depression is different for everyone.
1 likeShe very clearly is not making it look “cute”
2 likesJesus guys. Give Jesus a chance to change your depression. Just try. Not church people, just Jesus. The Bible. Give him a chance.
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Savannah Craft preach!
6 likesSavannah Craft I agree! when she was saying "longing for something" I kept thinking.. I use to be there! Until I found Jesus and everything made sense!
5 likes+Beck Styles He is. And He loves you. If you did your research, you would know that he did exist on Earth and was a prophet by dictionary standards. Even if you don't believe it's the word of God, the Bible is one of the best-kept records of all time in terms of lineage and such. He loves you. He died for you. He can help you.
4 likesSo I'm Christian myself (well my parents are and I go to a Christian school but sometimes I just dont know what to believe) and I'm bi. But I know LGBT isnt really accepted, so I'm very curious what you think and if you have any tips for me. Love Lydia
3 likesLydia Winchester me too, I have literally the same exact circumstances. I've just realized that He loves me no matter what, and should want me to be happy
2 likes+Lydia Winchester I understand where you're coming from. I love Dodie so much, but she is bisexual, and I don't agree with her. My Jesus came for those who are lost and in need of saving. When he came to earth, he hung with the people who were living in sin, not those who were already righteous. That doesn't mean you are a bad person if you are bisexual, but it does mean you are living in sin in God's eyes. I would do some Bible research and soul searching to find out if this is really a way God can use you to your full potential. Spread the love! - Savannah
4 likesSavannah Craft depression has to do with chemicals in your head, not with a god. Sometimes people don't need religion and thats okay.
11 likesjesus doesn't exist though?
2 likesrae He does. Jesus and God are the same. Jesus is the physical version (you could say) of God, who was on Earth and caused all of the jazzy snazzy stuff. I assure you, he is.
0 likesAlso, I get depressed once in a while, but less than Dodie. In that time, I don't feel like doing ANYTHING but sleep and eat. It's decreased a lot. I've become much more positive, optimistic. Jesus gives me a lot of hope, and I'm not afraid of anything anymore (I used to be afraid of so much....)
+Savannah Craft, listen, I'm all for practicing your religion and if God makes you live your life better, then all the power to you, but she wants medical help. MEDICAL. It doesn't seem like she wants Jesus. In other videos, she's talked about her inability and lack of desire for religion. That is fine. And as for her bisexuality, she isn't living in sin. lgbt+ people have had too many people tell us that we're in need of fixing, or we are sinners. And I hate to break it to ya, but if you refer to people who aren't cishets as 'living in sin' you're homophobic. Cut and dried.
3 likesRacist Puff, thank you. I do love Dodie, I support her channel, I do covers of her songs, and I all around just love what she is producing. I don't agree with her lifestyle, and I think Jesus could give her some relief. He gave me hope, love, and peace, so I suggest you check him out. I repeat, not church people, JESUS. He hung out with those he didn't agree with, and no one forced them to follow him. We are all living in sin and no one is perfect. I don't care what you are living in, what you support, or what you do in your life, JESUS CAME FOR YOU. He loves you if you're gay, bi, purple, or blue. I just shared some advice that has helped me, but people have come at me for it. Just like you have freedom of speech, I DO TOO. Christians should not be excluded for speaking their minds.
2 likesRacist Puff well i'm an atheist, so jesus and god don't really help?
1 likeCaitlin Morrison. It was just a suggestion. No reason to get upset. I did not say that Christians can't have depression, just that religion might help. Hope you have a blessed day
0 likesI'm an atheist and could care less about religion.
0 likesI don’t think it’s a good I can relate so freaking much oh well
0 likesnot my chair, not my problem is what i say.
0 likesI eat Frozen peas lol
0 likesweird depression food
0 likesI fill the same all the time and tried to tell some one my friends said oh it's nothing and I always fell like crying and I'm so sad and I can't do anything about it p.s I cried seeing people sad herts me
0 likesSAME
0 likesToday I spent the whole day laying on the floor on my phone please help me
0 likesCan you get depression or can you only be born with it?
0 likesReplies (1)
itsLilo You can develop it when traumatic events occur or just because of how your brain is dysfunctional
0 likesahem ahem...i love rick and morty
0 likesr e l a t a b l e
0 likesI love you
0 likesvirtual hugs all round
0 likesur like dan howwel the girl version! he also spends everyday in bed! eat less food everyday! ok. thats nothing too put a "!" mark on each sentence
0 likesI HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION
0 likesI love you
0 likesYou are awesome
0 likesAYYYY I HEAR RICK AND MORTY
0 likesI love u
0 likes5:37 lmao
0 likesблять, как я здесь оказался,ахах?
0 likesatleast ur eating healthy lol
0 likesSAMEEEEEEE
0 likesHello my name is Sylvie and I’m depressed E V E R Y day
0 likesMy problem is I can't feel anyt
1 likeAfter Pcos I feel depressed quite a lot and nobody can relate or understand. My husband is amazing but I can't help it uffff. Don't OK I guess. 😒
0 likesI can relate to this SO WELL but I just want you to know that when your anxiety , depersonalisation or depression really gets you down then just know that we’re here for you dodie and that we love you xxx
1 likeIt's so interesting (for me, at least) to watch this when I'm feeling healthy and when I'm feeling really gross. The things that stick out to me are different and it's fascinating. I agree with everything you're saying. Right now, I'm feeling really good and excited for my future. Thank you for making this and for everything that you do! 💛
0 likesThank you for making this! This is exactly how I feel and will continue to feel for a while. xo
0 likesThank you for putting into words how I feel and being able to show my parents this, so they can somewhat understand how I feel xx
0 likesI've watched this video like 7 times and I always come back to it and I love it thanks Dodie for being sooo real
0 likesThis is so good, when you talked about how you feel on depression days, I started crying. I thought I was the only one that felt that way a lot, and I know that's cliche and s***, but I really never thought that anyone else properly struggled with it.
1 likei'm on a dodie marathon while drawing and it's... it's very calming. thank you dodie :)
0 likesI’ve been trying to explain to my parents how I’m feeling and I may send this video to them because it completely puts every single little feeling I’m feeling into words. Thank you dodie
0 likesI want to be a physiatrist/therapist when I'm older, your videos really help me with my work.
2 likesAlso, my best friend has depression, you help me help her. ❤️
Thank you so much for this Dodie. I want to show it to my dad so he can hopefully understand me better. People in my family have a tendency to assume I’m lazy. This will help. I love you.
0 likesIt’s nice to know one of my idols also goes to therapy. Thank you for making this Dodie
0 likesFeely feeling. I love you Dodie. You have taught me so much
0 likesthank you for being so open about this. i love you so much. this is how i feel all the time (i have depression) and i just. GOD I'm so glad to hear someone expressing exactly what i'm feeling.
1 likeThe entire time I was watching this I was like “YES YES EXACTLY” you explained it so well. I can never explain my depression. I’m the same way. Except maybe a bit more tears.
0 likesUgh I needed this. Thanks Dodie❤
1 likei can relate to this on so many levels..... thank you dodie!!! <3
0 likesI always come back to this video when im going through a dark day/time. Makes me feel less alone. Thankyou.
0 likesI'm going to show this to my parents. They're so amazing, but I just think this will help them even more. Thank you.
0 likesI've been having a bad day and i somehow found my way back to this video to feel validated, its so easy to think you're alone and no one would understand how you're feeling but you make me feel understood and i wish i could explain my thoughts and feelings as well as you but no matter what i appreciate you and am so grateful for you and your videos
0 likesI remember when you posted this, I was really depressed during that period of time and I would go to this video so much. Ahh I'm starting to tear up just typing this, I'm gonna stop, but what I wanted to say out of that is, dodie... you've helped me more than you can imagine, it's still bad for me but you still help soooo much
0 likesThe most relatable things I've ever seen after diagnosed with depression. Yeay! That's my life everyday now! Thanks Doddie. 😄
0 likesI wish I could just ask people to see this and understand my struggle.
Thank you Dodie for making this❤
0 likesTo be honest, this is my favourite video by Dodie. 💖
0 likescurrently feeling depressed all over again... watching this i realize that it’s okay to seek help. you’ve helped me realize i’m not alone. thank you, i love you!!!
0 likesI can relate to everything you’re saying, thank you for posting this
0 likesOh my god I love you so much. All of us will always love you Dodieeee 💘
0 likesthis video describes my situation perfectly thank you dodie
0 likesI adore the way you express yourself in the words you choose and how you see things. you’re such a beautiful person dodie <3
0 likesYou just articulated every little thing. Like, holy shit. It just hit me that this is like a real standardized thing that other people feel the exact same way.
0 likesIdk why but whenever I feel depressed I always go click on one of Dodie’s videos,I don’t care which,just to hear her soft and lovely voice.
0 likesI couldn’t explain how I feel when I’m depressed but U perfectly explained it thank you
0 likesGosh this entire video is such a good vocalization of chemical depression. I agreed with every single thing you said. It sucks feeling depressed and knowing there is no real reason for it, and not being able to change it. You know you're going to feel better again, and yet you can't actually convince yourself of it... even though you do know it's true? It's like having two brains.
0 likesWow, this is so relatable because your describing it so well, and I feel like this way a lot too, to all the people think they know what depression is, or what it feels like you have no idea
0 likesThis is absolutely what happens to me. Just recently I spent ALOT of money on a night out with my significant other and ended up being depersonalized the entire time. It really hurt to not enjoy something as much as I could have if it wasn't an off day. This happens so often I feel like I'm at such a loss of what life could truly be. I blamed myself for it originally, but I am slowly coming to terms with this mental illness I've been stuck with. I'm grateful someone with such influence is willing to talk about depression and denationalization and educate the internet on mental illness. Thank you Dodie.
0 likesThank you for posting this. I might just record myself talking on a bad day too... it could be a nice way to vent maybe??? This has been really nice to watch. Thank you again.
0 likesJust had a depressive episode.. this video somehow made me a bit happier and happier overtime :)
0 likesi too struggle with derealization and am currently in counseling, which helps, but yeah. some days i wake up and the world looks foggy and nothing seems real and some tea with edamame feels like the only thing that helps? it's weird how that works isn't it… so after watching this vid, i associate tea and edamame with comfort when i'm feeling particularly spaced out. thank you dodie <3
0 likesi have honestly never listened to/seen something so relatable and it's kinda sad but it's also kinda reassuring in a weird way.
0 likesat least there are good days sometimes
I just found this channel and I'm so happy I did this video made me feel really good!
1 likeI heard her song sick of losing soulmates and now I'm here. I love the style of her vlogs.
0 likesno ones ever explained my head as much as you have. that longing feeling never goes away
0 likesthis is exactly what depression feels like. I have never heard it described so well.
0 likesI'm so thankful someone put it into words. Thank you
0 likesI relate to everything you said in this. Especially when you said you look ahead of you an everything looks ‘painted on’
0 likesHey everyone, I knew some of you have been feeling down or having negative emotions and have a hard time expressing how you feel into positive ways. That is why I have created an awareness project that brings light to these feelings and issues that are so prevalent into today’s society. If you are interested, or know someone who might be, you can go to my youtube channel and watch some of the videos that talk about these things. I always have other social media platforms that you can find in the description under my first video “Suicide Awareness and Prevention Project”. Maybe some of the content will help you or someone you know! These are still new and so I am still working on uploading videos discussing different topics. But I hope this serves the public well! Stay strong everyone!
0 likesLove this video so much I love learning about mental illnesses and how they affect people
0 likesShe looks so much happier in her recent video I’m so proud ❤️
0 likesThis reminds me of the first real depressed moment I remember. I went to John and hank green’s need con and it was supposed to be fun. But I was depressed that weekend and highly annoyed that I couldn’t find it fun.
0 likesThis is exactly how I feel. I just wish I could tell someone.
0 likesThis feeling and description it just relates to me on such a high level I can’t even believe it
0 likesi relate to this so much... some days im like that, empty and void, and others there is like a animal of negativity inside of me trying to burst through my skin...
0 likesit sucks that i relate to this but i do. thank you at least for sharing so all of us know we are not alone <3
0 likesThere are days or moments when I would feel like this and just constantly space out even more than usual then I'd just try to hide it by saying that I'm feeling sick. I just didn't want to talk and explain to people because nothing could cheer me up anyways.. I always thought that "oh I'm just sad and overreacting. I'm far from depressed" but then I watched this and it hit me hard.. I don't want to say I'm depressed because I'm not yet diagnosed but what Dodie said was accurate..
0 likesI've never had someone describe exactly how I feel.
0 likesthis is such a good video, i dont even like dodie but this was great
0 likesI swear she explains it So Fricking well I understand exactly how she feels and now I understand my emotions
0 likesI never knew how to describe it and wow, this is exactly it
0 likescould you make more videos about depersonalisation and derealisation? because all I ever hear about is, people having it in phases. I have it for 2 years straight now.. like chronical. And I'm so curious how you deal with it, considering you've got it for 4 years now.
0 likesAlso I'm really enjoying your videos. You're the cutest girl ever :)
Love from germany xoxo
I have to admit, around 4:20 (hahaha) I couldn’t help but to burst out sobbing. All day I’ve just felt absolutely awful for no good reason and just to have this feeling I didn’t even know I was feeling put into words was so.... relieving. I feel like dodie speaking about her feelings just helps me realize my own and just.... thank u dodie.... you’re the bisexuality + mental health awareness icon we deserve ❤️❤️
0 likesthis is the best video on the internet.. fight me. she literally described me on certain days
1 likeAmazingly explained xx
0 likesThanks for taking the time to make this. Really needed to see it.
0 likesI don’t feel like going into detail, but my friend attempted suicide two weeks ago and I was there. I was there through everything, right after she texted that she took two bottles of pills. I won’t get to see her until November 15, aka about another month. I was already depressed but now I’m also longing for something I cant have, and I relate to this so much, and this is literally my entire thought process to a tee and it’s scary how much I relate to you.
0 likesMan you put it all in the best words.
0 likesLOVE the raw emotion
0 likesI've come across people in my life who say that being depressed is 'stupid' and just your way of getting attention from people but that's not true. I suffer through depression and it's not a easy thing to deal with but hearing your story and my other favourite YouTubers (Mainly Dan Howell) helps me see that having depression is just a part of you that will always live and something that is okay to have. My friends have depression worse than I do and I try to help (which leads to my own problems) them. I know this is really late but thank you for posting this. Whenever I get depressed I know who to watch - From a huge ball of mess Ella
0 likesThis is so amazing. I started showing signs of depression in 3rd grade. I’m serious. My mom’s mom has bipolar depression (i didn’t know that till i was probably almost 16.) My mom had to live with it her whole life, she very very much didn’t want me to fall down the same path (her mom was so gone, she doesn’t even realize something is wrong. It’s the saddest thing ever. I wish I could help. My mom at 6 started COOKING her own dinner, she made eggs a lot.) She also knew, kids when they hit the beginning of puberty can experience depressive episodes due to hormones and putting those kids on antidepressants can make their brain rely on them, when their brain will fix itself all by itself when it gets the hormones under control. Sooooo, my mom kinda ignored/tried to get me to do stuff when i was going through this. I understand now what she was doing, but when it was happening i felt very misunderstood. That poem by Sabrina B(something) about depression when she says “MOM ITS NOT THAT EASY TO HAVE FUN WHEN YOU DONT REALLY WANT TO HAVE FUN” (something like that) me 2 all day. I spent basically a year and a half of my life in my room (my mom tried so hard she really did this was on me) and then i wanted to kill myself so bad. She finally sat me down
0 likeswhat do you feel most of the time?
nothing
how often a day do you get happy?
not every day? and when i do it only lasts about 5 seconds, i try really hard for you to make you happy, but sometimes i can’t
okay, i know baby, how many days a week do you feel happy feelings? 3 maybe 4 on a good week
when was the last time you really truly felt happy, i know you know how real happy feels?
before 3rd grade?
then she gave me a long talk about how it wasn’t my fault and it’s like how a diabetic doesn’t make insulin
i soon after was put on antidepressants
i was SOOOO happy my mom would cry and say she hadn’t seen me that happy in YEARS
i would still have “depressed” days, i didn’t understand. I was taking my meds like i was supposed to, what’s wrong? I found out it’s normal, when i have those days though it’s hard for me to continue taking them. I had a struggle with that for maybe a year. I’m better now. I also still have just “sad” days. It’s the sad I used to get before being depressed.
This explains so well what depression felt like for me. I hope whomever is reading this never feels what depression feels like, it’s so heavy and tiring. At the same time, nothing at all, throw anxiety in (my mom doesn’t believe in medicating anxiety, so i deal with panic attacks etc myself,) you also feel anxiety about nothing that you don’t care about. It’s terrible, please don’t romanticize it.
I relate so much and I don’t know what to do about it most of the time
0 likesYou're making depression look like a good thing. I find this video really problematic and it made me really angry.
0 likesI always watch this when I'm depressed.
0 likesthis made me cry because I feel everything about this especially about wanting to go back and feeling everything when you feel nothing anymore. my feelings are so forced now as if im trying to be happy for other people but when im alone im just blank, like a mannequin or something absolutely no emotion.
0 likesDodie...have you ever tried natural medicines like medicinal marijuana?
0 likesThis is so relatable. If people just say, oh watch your favourite movie or eat your favourite snack, but you can't. Anything that makes you feel happy and excited, has no effect on you when you're depressed. You always just feel sad and meh. But I got over it. And I hope everyone gets through it too!! Xxx 😊💕❤
0 likesI'm not depressed, but after watching this I related A LOT. Maybe a little more than I should've. Especially since I'm a very happy person half of the time. Do you have some advice to deal with this?
0 likesi'm reading secrets for the mad and i just finished reading this and i can just imagine this dodie writing it
0 likesI have an under-active thyroid and my doctor said that was probably the reason I felt so shitty yay. I always wonder, if it was just a situational factor, such as my mum trying to kill herself (that happened twice, yay), would it be easier to climb out of the hole?
0 likesIt's in my brain, it's deep down into my genetic code, so how the hell do I escape it? Depression and mental illness is literally a part of my DNA, so how do I escape? If it was purely situational, would I be able to think "okay, I can escape the black"?
:)
“My working head and my not working head are so different and they don’t have EMPATHY for each other at all” I feel this on so many levels.
0 likeswow this is so relatable thanks for making this
0 likesThat "I love you" made my day <3 thanks
0 likesThis is exactly like me. I really wish I could meet you and be best friends with you 😞
0 likesThis is exactly how I feel today
0 likesI just about lost my shit at "not my chair not my problem," I haven't heard a Drinking Out of Cups reference in years hahaha
0 likes1:30 I started tearing up in front of my friends cause I feel that way almost everyday, yes I’m with my friends because they drag me out of my house
0 likes"Problem is, today, I didn't have to check" The way she said that and the tone of her voice has me crying in the club
0 likesI can relate to this so much.
0 likesthis is how I'm feeling today for sure. 4pm. haven't left my bed.
0 likesShe's so awesome
0 likesAnd this video was only earlier this year... :_( I hope everything's okay now Dodie <3
0 likesi am very depressed and suicidal at the moment, but i have a quick question for anyone who would like to answer. is it normal to not be able to cry sometimes? like your so sad but you just can't cry?
0 likesthank you so much for describing my thoughts.
0 likesomg finally someone I can relate to
0 likes"My working head and my not working head....and they don't have empathy for each other at all" TRUTH.
0 likesI feel exactly the same
1 likeI love this thank you 💗💗💗
0 likesSometimes I feel like I'm not awake and everything feels really weird and when it happens I start feeling really sad because It's like this cloud of weird dreamyness has sucked the fun out of everything but I don't think I'm depressed because it only happens when I'm in the middle of doing something really fun and it lasts for 15mins to 1hr and I don't really know what to do 🙃😞
0 likesi honestly relate to this too much.
0 likesOmg I relate so much but I have trouble communicating it so I showed this to my mom to have her understand
0 likesyou literally described my life
0 likesI love u dodie, i hope u know that, u actually have no idea who i am. I wish the best for u.
1 likehEY LET'S RANT
0 likesSo, the way Dodie describes her perspectives and thoughts and just how it feels to be her and in her mind when she's in this state- that's how I feel all of the time. Every now and then I have these little moments of clarity, but normally everything is just a giant mass of bland. I don't get "happy", I don't get "sad". I just get "ugh". I always feel so dazed and uncomfortable, and I just can't pull satisfaction from anything. You know when you're a kid and you have those nightmares where there's nothing particularly scary going on, but everything seems distorted and obscure and scary? that's how i feel all the time. and my mind is like a split universe. i'll have two separate trains of thought going at the same time. one will be responsible and positive while the other is just like a blanket of negativity thrown over my head. and i'm annoyingly laughy and jokey at school, with my friends, and i know that i'm annoying. the only reason i put on that front is because if i don't, i'll just be so blank and so uncomfortable and paranoid and if that's how i present myself, i'll be alone and sad and aaaa. i remember one time at school in sixth grade, i was giggling like mad over barely anything just to seem normal, to try and make myself feel like i was "happy", and looking beside me to see the one friend i had just giving me an awful stare. i knew at that moment that i was truly a mess, because for the first time in a while the bland, numb feeling sort of broke, and i just started to cry. i felt like i had physical weights on my chest. i had to get up and leave, and pretend that i was sick so that my poor mother could leave work despite her boss screaming at her to come and get me. ugh. just- how do you express these feelings to someone just to know that someone knows about it and seemingly cares, even if it's just them trying to be nice, without being an attention whore? i get enough attention, i don't want people to be troubled over me at all when they have to worry about themselves and the people that deserve affection and understanding, but am i wrong to want some for myself? i don't know, i guess i wish that i had someone who could make me feel anything but this, but i know that it isn't a storybook, that can't happen, it's me and my mind and no single human can fix that. nobody can fix the fact that i always feel like everything around me is moving at double speed and i'm stuck in slow motion. i feel like i can't focus and i don't feel like the things around me aren't real- i feel like i'm the one that isn't real. i feel like i'm just part of someone, and i can't function normally. i don't understand myself or who i am, and everything is too much and i'm such an immature child about this.
wow why is that my brain typed up in a youtube comments section goddamn oops
everytime i try to tell my mum i feel depressed, or literally anything about my mental health, her answer is "you're just going through puberty. maybe you're just gonna get your period again soon." she doesn't understand mental health issues. i have a brother, and he has mental issues as well and all my parents do to try and help him is take him to doctors and take medicines. im 5 years younger so they don't take my issues as seriously and it makes life ten times more painful when i don't have anyone to come to for help.
0 likes3:28 once my parents tried to cheer me up when I was depressed, they took me to go see the ocean and to go see the city, and I felt like an asshole when I didn't want to leave the car and i didn't get anything good and fun from that trip, I felt really bad
0 likesWhen I’m feeling depressed, I’m not really where I am physically emotionally. For example, at school, I’m there, I talk to my friends and stuff, but I just feel so disconnected, like I’m just walking through life instead experiencing it. I don’t eat, I barely talk unless I have to (Like when my friends start talking to me), and I just..I don’t know. I can’t really put in all into words..
0 likesI have literally watched this 3 times now
0 likescrap i relate to this too much right now
0 likesTo me, depression is like a 500pound object is sitting on me that I can not even breath or enjoy anything. Even worse is when people try to help and ask what is the reason, but you don't even know. Its just there, following you dragging you where ever you go. If Im feeling happy, laughing or enjoying something even for 10 seconds I am grateful even when its gone. It sucks. It really sucks.
0 likesi also feel like i’m in a dream and weird
0 likesi also feel like i’m in a dream and weird
0 likesi also feel like i’m in a dream and weird
0 likesi feel like this a lot. But one of my friends said that maybe its because i am comparing myself to Dodie or trying to be like her since i look up to her so much. i do not know what is going on with me or my mind. Sometimes i just feel nothing or unsatisfaction with little droplets of sadness, then my dad gets mad at me. It usually happens when i have martial arts class that my dad teaches, and it always sucks because i just feel so empty and he gets mad at me because i look like a "zombie". If i try to explain it he will just get mad and confused because i don't really know how to explain it and he will think its a phase or i am watching too many videos or something. But the fact that i know a lot about mental health for my age should be a bit concerning or the fact that i have brought up suicide or major deppressive disorders or different mental health dissorders and issues should probably concern him at least a tad to think of my mental state. or at least i would think so
0 likesI've never related to something more in my life
0 likesi don't suffer from depression. any mental illness at all. it's just that, today, after smiling at everything, out of nowhere, my brain just starts thinking about everything else technically irrelevant in my short life. out of nowhere i want to talk to someone, the topic doesn't really matter, i want to feel surrounded. i am currently upstairs, listening to "paris" by the 1975 on loop, i don't want to go downstairs, i don't want to practice guitar for a presentation i'll be doing. i want to feel "full".
0 likesI'm sorry you feel bad, but you're reeeeaally selling me on those beans.
0 likesFor those who dont know what real depression is. This is it. Its not just feeling sad. Its feeling tired And hopeless. Sad is not even close to being depressed, depression makes you feel like you arent really here. I have depression. And its never that im sad. Theres nothing to be sad about. Im just tired, feeling like the things or people around me arent actually there. And feeling hopeless and then i end up crying(sometimes) because of it. Ugh it sucks honestly.
0 likesI think I relate to this.
0 likesI usually eat plain slices of bread when I’m on a depressed day
0 likesWhat do other people eat
DODIE I GET THESE DAYS WAY TOO OFTEN
0 likesI'm depressed like this everyday 😞😕
0 likesthis hit so so close to home.....
0 likesHow can you be depress if you were watching rick and morty?
0 likesLook at me
I love this video. It's very real.
0 likesI have an eating disorder, and sometimes I wake up, and I just want to lay back down and sleep the whole day away because I feel disgusting and fat.
0 likesBut I can’t do that, because I have to go to school, and I have to take tests, and I have to get up.
I recently went to my therapist and she got on the subject of how it might have started.
I had told her before “I don’t really think anything happened.” But because I was so depressed and felt so gross, I realized, there was that starting place.
My sister with autism, eats plenty of food, sometimes way more than needed, and she gained weight. I got scared. My mother was watching a show with skinny girls and said that that can only be achieved by oatmeal and apples a day. My mother told me I’d never be as skinny as my friend because that’s not my body.
So me falling into this disorder, was me controlling myself, and basically saying “I’ll show you.”
I am writing this, and feeling silly, hoping no one sees this, hoping no one notices me because I don’t want others to see my silly moments.
But I’m writing this, because I want someone to see this.
Now I am quite conflicted and annoyed with myself for this vent or whatever this is...
~Sincerly, Jay D.
P.S. If you’ve read this...hello
To be strong 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
0 likesno way is this relatable... you're depressed, and i totally understand that as someone who also suffers. but, this is not a 9-5 job where you HAVE to wake up and follow that strict routine. i have mornings where i don't want to, but i know i have to... so, learn about that actual routine. you can wake up, have this feeling and be allowed to have space to take care of yourself... maybe record a video... or tweet that you can't. what about us that are living the socially "normal" life? what about us that must wake up, deal with depression and get on with work....
0 likesI relate dotie!
0 likesShe's so cute and small and perfect
0 likesEw, there are some really disgusting people on the comments. I can’t wrap my head around how people think that dodie is romanticising this, or over reacting. I don’t understand how people don’t believe you are depressed. It’s really gross
0 likesI related to this so much.
0 likesI wish I saw this at 12. Youtube literally launched the year I turned 12.
0 likesMmmmmmmugggHHHH I've been telling myself all day I'm just In a mood but fuck im depressed. Don't worry it's not just based on this video I have this feeling a lot and it was great to listen to someone be depressed with me but fuCK I'm depressed. Also I'm writing an informative essay on you because you're a huge inspiration to me
0 likesI relate to this s omuch an evryhting you said jus really made me feel understood and less alone. thanks so much
0 likesI wish everyone understood this.
0 likesMy feelings are weird. Everyday seems like a dream and that everything i Have is not enough and that my life is just a boring floating dream. i feel worthless and sad all the time yet i can laugh like a normal person, i just can’t be happy. I stay in my head, daydreaming situations like a dream inside of a dream. Everything is just so painted and fake and nothing ever feels like it is enough. Like there is something that was taken away. i don’t feel heavy, i just feel it at the front of my mind, nagging, but like a screen. It’s so weird and hard and i constantly feel like that’s how it’s always going to feel. Like I’m forcing that on myself. And you want to know what’s worse. My brain keeps wanting all the bad things. All the good things in life now seem plain and unneeded. My brains saying, “Depression would be better, it will make you needed. You need it” Everyday it says that i would be better off suffering from a mental or physical illness. Someone tell me if you feel this too.
0 likesi don’t want to be alone.
I’m feeling really depressed right now and it’s so close to Christmas I’m scared I won’t enjoy it
1 likeI related to every single word she said
0 likesU cant be depressed for just one day
0 likesI’m having one of these days. 🌝
0 likesCompletely straying from the topic of this video, but I just realized Dodie was watching Rick and Morty at the beginning of this... yeah
0 likesI have never related to a video so much before
0 likesI can tell by her eyes she has been crying...
0 likeshow do i know if im depressed? i feel like this on my bad days, but depression is such a tabu and i dont wanna be that "teenager". So how?
0 likesI wanna eat peas now AND I DON'T HAVE ANY
0 likesWhere can I get that mug
0 likessame
0 likesTechnically, depression is not a feeling or something that can ever go away. If you actually have the mental illness, you always have it and will always have it once you develop it. Also, it is not sadness or feeling down. It's very different. So, if you have depression, you don't feel it just one day of your life. That means you don't have depression, you're just sad/feeling down. Yes, you don't feel it every single day, but if you have it you don't just feel it once or twice or every once in a while.
0 likesI could never agree more and I'm so relating to this.
0 likesReplies (1)
Same it seems like I'm crazy,chill or just basically drunk as fuck
0 likesi love you
0 likesstay safely grounded you amazing anteater
Omgggggggg u speak my mind!!! Ahahhaahah sorry it’s shouldn’t be funny, but when i find someone speaking what my mind does, it feels like an inner joke for me. N it makes me laugh.... its like talking to one of my friend who have it too...... ermmmmm...oookaaay..Im being all weird now. Anyway, nice to meet you!
0 likesi want to be friends with her hahaa
0 likesSo.. I'm depressed?
0 likesYou can't just be depressed for just a day it's not on or off its there and it stays there....but no hate :/
0 likesME TOO ILY DODIE
0 likesIm depressed😭 im always sad
0 likesIm depressed😭 im always sad
0 likesWait..... sometimes I felt this like just I....feel gross just I am.. just a other world like...space
0 likesDid a non love song get inspiration from this?
0 likesHeard this from
0 likesBlur.jpg
Great song
0:06 i think ur depressed from setting up these camera angles
0 likesI'm happy u don't cut like me dodie he the best u make me happy
0 likesI didn't think other people felt like me....mmh
0 likestoday was a bad day for me, for no reason. it’s like i fell into a dark whole a couple years ago and i still haven’t found my way out. i just stay in bed all day, bored out of my mind but unsatisfied by everything. i can’t even bring myself to make food, open my curtains, take a shower, brush my teeth. it sucks. i just cry until i have none left to give and then i feel guilty, but i still can’t get out of bed. it really sucks.
0 likesI wonder if she exercises
0 likesI have a few things to say...
0 likesI'm craving beans which I had for lunch but I want more
I'm depressed and usually I have a few people to talk to but I feel alone at this point
I can't be bothered doing much atm, tomorrow is supposed to be great but I'm feeling anxious and unexcited about it
Please kill me
I need professional help but last time I approached my mum about it she thought I was just really sad and didn't believe me so I'm still stuck in this low
Replies (2)
Oh and don't say try talk to my dad because he will just get mad at me like he does about everything serious I feel (:
0 likes11 months later and i'm worse, in a different situation. i'm lonely and scared and i don't have anyone left to really call a friend and the ones i do are teetering on a line and if we slip it's over.
0 likesSame Dodie.... same
0 likesI feel depressed today because I’m lonely at school I don’t know why ughhh
0 likes'i dont give a dang'
0 likes'well, i kinda give a da--"
(ik im late)
WHY DO YOU EAT THE OUTSIDE AAAH
0 likesI hate being a chemically emotionally student cuz my parents don't get it and I have to go to school everyday and I'm at school nothings going in I'm just writing things that's pointless I hate it so much
0 likesYeah, that's it
0 likesHi........
1 likeyep
0 likesi feel gross and yuck in my brain
0 likesWeirdly comforting?
0 likesI hate depression . I WANT A FUCKING CURE ALREADY.
0 likesnot my chair not my problem!!
0 likesThank you so much.
0 likesTry feeling good is not a lie to yourself is yourself trying to be okay
0 likesI sometimes think of the song Youth from Daughter. When I am depressed, I just accept it and do what my Depression tells me to do. It fades away bcs happiness comes back the next day when I finally can fall asleep. I think its wrong to block it, it will just make it worse for yourself
0 likesReplies (1)
I think it's different for everyone tho when I'm feeling depressed if I think about it I just feel worse and it lasts longer but if I try and distract myself it's like my brain forgets about it? Idk how to describe what I'm thinking 😂
0 likesSounds a bit bipolar tbh
0 likesTux is hidden on the bottom right ;p
2 likesMy fish died and im depressed
0 likesplease adopt me
0 likesI don’t know who tell that I think I have depression
0 likesThis is my favourite video
0 likesWAYOO!
1 like4:20 same
0 likesI love you. thank you
0 likesDear Tumblr, don't glorify depression.
2 likespoison doesn't sound too bad
0 likesCan you choose anything else but depression ? And have you chosen something else ? Have you been successful ? That is the question. You do have a very bleak look on depression .It’s sad to see and hear. But you sure talk a lot and only if you can take a more positive view instead .
0 likesanyone else here from Daniel and Depression?
0 likesam i the only one who got this on my recommendation? sign?
0 likesI’ve never fucken related to anything in the whole world.
0 likeshi
0 likesIt’s currently day 5 of an intense depression. Not sure what triggered it, I’m just nothing. Anti depressants aren’t working. This is my 7th type of drug. Modern medicine isn’t working. I’m a hair away from dropping out of uni, even though I have 1 single course to complete before I graduate with a maths teaching degree. Maths makes no sense anymore. It’s useless, just like everything else. My psychologist keeps telling me to distract myself. Why would I distract myself from reality. We are all going to die.
0 likes:(
0 likesHeavy chest is the worst feeling.
0 likesi get u :(
0 likesU should say '' I'm sad today'' cuz depressed is.. Idk..
1 likeReplies (1)
Well she was just speaking the truth. She was depressed.
2 likesExactly
0 likesNo hate but you are confusing sadness with depression that is a very severe mental illnes
1 likeReplies (4)
Marcela Kawaii thank god im not the only one
1 likeMarcela Kawaii she knows it’s a severe mental illness... she has it. She isn’t confusing sadness with depression.
1 likearihana She actualy is confusing it because its not something you have one day and other day you dont it just keeps going every day maybe she is sad but she is not depressed.
0 likesI'm judging without knowing a person's state? Dude you're literally saying that she can't be depressed because she isn't experiencing it in the same way that you are. Depression isn't the same for every person, she clearly experiences it differently. And I don't think that you believe it's easy to treat, I'm just saying that if it were as simple as being exactly the same across the board, it'd be much easier to come up with solutions for it.
1 likeIf you think this is what depression looks like you are dull
1 likeI hougnt this was sarah from buzzfeed
0 likesmukbanggg
0 likeswoah
0 likesNo one asked
0 likesReplies (2)
Yet you watched it anyway...
0 likes@amiablehacker nah I didn't I got bored
0 likesDo you know what started it?
0 likesI am depressed every day
0 likesslay girl, talking about mental illness is so so important. if you're depressed and feel you can't talk as animatedly or factually as dodie don't be scared, it's okay. just sharing alone will help you a tiny bit, hearing other stories will make you feel less alone. sometimes all you can do is remember it is temporary, you aren't alone and there's so many people out there who love you
0 likes??? Wtf. You feel depressed today? Or maybe feel sad today? Depression is a condition, it never goes away... Lol wtf is this shyte. But I do feel bad how you were feeling sad that day.
0 likesReplies (1)
There are different types of depression
0 likesWhen you feel depressed, think about the millions around the world who are starving, cold, miserable, uneducated, powerless, and realise the opportunities and advantages you can enjoy, there, your life isn't so shit after all. Defeat your own ego.
0 likesThis has helped me so much! You explain yourself/feelings SO well it's amazing. Even though this wasn't your best day you still had so much positivity!!
0 likesI literally was crying the whole video, because this is exactly how i feel.
0 likesThank you so much, Dodie for this video. 💕
Thank you for posting this Dodie. I find this video really comforting for some reason and it's really relaxing to watch, you're such a genuine person and I love that so thank you!
0 likeswhen I'm depressed I watch your videos. They make me smile and I always feel better. Is like I'm not alone anymore, there are people who feel the same. Thank you, Dodie, although you aren't going to see this, for been how you are. I love you
0 likeshonestly, you have just voiced everything I've always wanted to say for me, and it gives me a release better than anything else has ever given me, thank you so much for this (i'm not saying i am glad you felt that way of course, but I am glad you shared because it has helped so many people and I am so grateful so thank you so so much)
0 likesDodie, this video has helped me so much! You have just put into words exactly what I feel when I'm having one of those bad days and, though I am sorry that you have to go through this, I am also glad that I am not alone in this. Thank you so so much
0 likesThis video has helped me realize that the emptyness I feel constantly may be depression. It had crossed my mind but I never really related to something so much because people never talk so openly about it. So thank you, Dodie, for being so open. <3
0 likesI wish I could articulate my feelings as well as you can. Also, thank you for being open about your mental health. It means a lot to me
0 likesWow, this is the best video I've found to show how I feel when I'm depressed.
0 likesI really like when people make "in the moment" videos because they are always so much more real and accurate (because no matter how much we remember we always describe bad times differently on good days) and it really shows the truth of the moment.
You put every. single. damn thing I feel when I'm depressed into words. Thank you.
0 likesI was diagnosed with severe depression last year, on my down days I feel quite different than this, but eating the random peas was something I could definitely relate to haha. Kudos for making a video about it!
0 likesBy the way - I cannot recommend SSRIs highly enough!!! Medication changed my life, it made my ups more frequent and my downs more bearable and less debilitating.
I watch this video over and over again in my depression state just because i feel like you're the only one i can relate to and that makes me feel slightly better. love you <3
0 likesI relate with every word in this, I love you dodie and I wish you the best
0 likesi just came across this video and its crazy that literally everything i have ever felt when I'm having a bad day and feeling depressed you put into words so perfectly. sometimes it makes me feel more hopeless and lost because i don't even know how to explain how I'm feeling but you do it so well, thank you for this video
0 likesThis made me feel better actually, I have to keep remembering that depression isn't just my curse and that we have a community of us all wanting to die together
0 likesI feel like you're the only person who's ever described how I felt perfectly in terms of depersonalisation and how life in the past felt vivid and full of colour and now the world literally feels fake. It's scary and I hate it.
0 likesI always watch this video when my depression kicks in, it's a kind of relief (in the strangest way) to know that someone else's feels the way you do. It decreases that loneliness by the tiniest bit but I'd rather that than not at all
0 likesThis is a really helpful video for me on days when I'm feeling depressed <3
0 likesI send people this video whenever I can't explain how I'm feeling because this 100% sums it up. I love you and thank you for making me feel less alone.
0 likesI feel exactly the same way, sometimes I just need to here it from someone else. Obviously I'm still not cheered up after this vid but it helped me with the whole "you aren't actually alone, you just feel isolated"
0 likesDodie, you are so inspirational and brave to put this out on the internet. I could never understand what you were going through then, and I accept that, but I could see that even though it must have been so hard, you are smiling, laughing slightly, cracking jokes on and off. That. Is. Incredible. You go girl!
0 likesThis was super eye-opening and just THANK YOU for talking about how it feels...
0 likesI've been diagnosed and I'm SOO happy someone can put it into words
0 likesDamn I love videos like these, honestly. I'm not diagnosed but I've been thinking that I'm having depression since a couple years. If I wasn't already thinking that, this Video would've probably been the moment where I'd realize it bc I can absolutely identify with it: Sometimes I wake up and just know that today I won't be doing anything but nothing and laying around. This neverending boredom, this emptiness, this "It's alright tomorrow it'll be okay again" stuff - I know it too. Thanks for making this video. It helps others to realize that they're not alone with their problems and that they most likely have depression - It's so good and relieving to finally find an answer to the question "why do I feel like this (again)?"
0 likesIt makes me feel so comfortable to know that other people are going through the same things I'm going through
0 likesI watch this everytime I'm questioning whether I'm alone in a shotty situation because this video gives me a sense of comradery
0 likesThis video is so honestly brutal. And I love dodie so much for making this. Sending love
0 likesI love how real this video. This is completely the way I feel as well
0 likesThis is the most accurate thing ever i love you so much and thank you for this, stay strong❤
0 likesThis is the most accurate video I have watch in my entire life 💟thank you xx
0 likesThank you ..for well making this video, it makes me feel not so alone after all 💙
0 likesI actually have depression and everything you said is exactly how I feel.
0 likesI still enjoyed listening to you. I feel the same as you do. That's how depression is. You Described it perfect. So it was good to listen to you. I got a blood test to and nothing showed up.
0 likesGreat video. Like you said at the beginning... it's okay to be depressed anyone who doesn't experience it at sometime in their life is probably lying. That probably doest make sense and I have probably said probably WAY too many times but it is OKAY! X ❤
0 likesI appreciate that you can put these feelings in to words. For those of us who can't figure out what to say.
0 likesNever ever could explain how exactly how I felt but she said it 100% perfect . Especially the checking in the morning part. I feel like I don't see life the same. Can relate 1000%.
0 likeswhat i always find best for when im feeling down is to just let it happen instead of trying to make myself happy. if i just let my depression/sadness free flow, then i feel like it'll be over a lot sooner.
0 likesI really hope you are feeling better, thanks for posting this I feel it helps somehow, I hope it helps you ❤
0 likesThis was the video that introduced me to Dodie. This is the one that made me practically fall in love with her.
0 likesHer mind and spirit.
I love both bc she's so real and honest about how something's affecting her.
Her openness to speak made me love her.
The fact that she shared her mind with us was what initially made me love her.
So I couldn't understand at first how people could find the reason I love her, as a reason NOT TO love her.
But I guess some people just can't filter out what they hear and not let it cloud their thoughts.
I've had depression for as long as I can remember. Some days are okay. Some are horrid. It's a complete and heavy numbness. Everything feels like a dream. Floaty, and unreal.
0 likesI like how you ate peas in pods for snack.
0 likesYou've inspired me greatly
dodie. i am truly so sorry you have to deal with dp / dr , i know how you feel and its horrible. nothing feels real, i just want to say thank you , you make me feel normal
0 likesthis is everything ive ever wanted to say and so much more. I just found your channel today and I love you already. A little over two years ago I was diagnosed w depression and anxiety (fun amirite ladies) and um i kinda fucked up my life and a year behind in school now and a good day is rare but amazing. idk youre never gonna read this but in the past hour i have watched so many of your videos and its given me a little bit of hope. a little bit of hope that things will be okay eventually, and i could never repay you.
0 likesNew subscriber! There's something calm about you. I like how you seem true to yourself. It's refreshing! :) Looking forward to watching more of your vids
2 likesI am so depressed today. This helps me cope. I'm not the only one, and this video helps me remember that.
0 likesThis video is actually very relatable, thank you
0 likesI can relate to all of this. Including the watching Rick and Morty bit at the beginning. Most days I can smile through the pain and be okay, whatever that means, some days I just can't. It doesn't hurt, it just feels like nothing, but then I realize that I feel like nothing and I hate myself.
0 likeseven though Dodie has no idea who i am i feel like she's the older sister i never had ♡
0 likesDear Dodie,
0 likesThank you:
For pulling me out of the most dark lonely and horrible time of my life,
For teaching me to accept my indifferences,
For making these videos that make me realise I am as normal as everyone else,
For letting me know it is okay to love whoever I want to,
For being your lovely, beautiful and talented self.
Many thanks
Sylvie
yep, that's how it is for me. these depression episodes suck, but thanks for helping me feel less alone ~
0 likesI'm really proud that you could actually
0 likesMake yourself something to eat
When I'm depressed I don't make myself food etc...
Her hair is just making me smile because she is completely okay with how she looks at the moment
0 likesI've never heard anyone quite be able to put across how depressive days feel like the most glum and grey days in the world the way Dodie has here. It's like a someone has drained the milkshake out of a cup and just left you with an empty container. I really hope that things start to improve for Dodie and anyone else struggling with this soon. It sucks. I've been there too much and too often, but still managing to find a path to slightly better things. In fact I'm doing a mental health recovery series on my channel is anyone wants to check it out, I do one specifically about depression here: https://youtu.be/2iIphv1vGeE
0 likesHave a good day everyone, and if it's not a good just have a day that's okay too. Keep fighting ❤️
I love this!!! You're so cute ❤️
0 likesI understand how Dodie feels. There are just those moments where you wake up and feel like you are not yourself and you're not functioning correctly. I feel that way today and other days. There are sometimes when I just want to be by myself in my room but I'm not depressed then. But there are other times when I don't want to do anything and not deal with anyone and that's when I'm depressed.
0 likesI've only experienced depersonalisation/derealization once, and it was absolutely horrible. It lasted for a week or two, and it got so scary I had a terrible panic attack and my mum took me to the doctor because I kept insisting that something was really wrong in my brain (I didn't know what it was back then). Thankfully it went away after the attack was over, but damn, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
0 likesperfectly explained of what it feels like
0 likesRecently, I've been going through a lot of stress, panic and sadness over so many things. Two of my closest friends have ditched me, and they were even talking about every tiny thing they hate about me on an Instagram livestream. I clicked on it, thinking "Oh I love their live streams!" They didn't see I had joined it, so they continued talking. Then, when they finally saw I was there, they said, "OH SCREW THE B!TCH IS HERE!"
0 likesThen, it ended.
I'm panicking about secondary school, constantly. I can't have detention. I have dance every night. I MUST remember my books, but I'll spend a whole morning checking I have them. I HAVE to remember to eat something, and not spend my lunch break reading, researching or doing homework. I'm terrified of having fun, because I might forget to do something. I don't want to get lost, I have tests on the first day back. I keep trying to change my mind set, but I can't. Whenever I want to talk to my parents about it, I freeze up... It's not depression. I know it isn't. I doubt it's anxiety. I don't know what it is. It's just constant fear of rejection and doing things wrong...
This puts so much into words
0 likesI can relate to everything you're saying.
0 likesYour videos remind me of the old days on YouTube where people just talked to a camera about themselves. I LOVE it! Are you still dealing with depersonalization/derealization? I get the same way you do while depressed, I just don't care about anything and want to sleep forever.
0 likesReplies (2)
okay nvm, you answered it in the video. gee I'm so sorry :( I feel the same way, I'm so happy someone understands, but I'm so terribly sorry you understand.
0 likes"I've felt drunk the last 4 years of my life..." hahah. 😭
0 likesI thought I was the only one who felt this way 😭
0 likesI just really love this video❤️
0 likesHoly shit holy shit holy shit. I feel the same way. I've always thought it was just me. I don't understand what this feeling is, or how to conquer it, but it's similar to what you're talking about. I don't feel like I'm fully awake, or alive. I feel like my mind and body are just waiting for something that I don't know anything about, and it's driving me to be emotionless, and tired all the time. I'm only 13, and my parents aren't very understanding, at all, so I don't talk to them about personal stuff. I feel like I need to be somewhere else all the time, and all my emotions are there at the place I don't know. My parents won't sign me up for help, so I have no one to talk to.
0 likesYou literally just described how I feel
0 likesIt makes me so sad that you're depressed and sad because you're so amazing and don't deserve to have depression
0 likesWatching this whilst crying and eating peas 👌
0 likesI thought that no one understands me and that it can't be that bad, I can't have depression. But after hearing you talking about makes me think that maybe it's more than just feeling down. I can get myself up from that if it's light and not very deep but for some time I couldn't even stop crying to get to the next class and I went home tears rapidly going everywhere, snot all over my facd because I didn't have a paper with me. It was horrible, nothing felt real, everything is weird because how in the hell do people have brains and they do stuff like invent and discover electricity. Existential stuff was thightly stuck to that same thing. And for the first time I feel that it might be normal, that it can happen and I can find love and happiness and that someone understands me. I wish I had a friend like you, you are amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you
0 likesI love this ❤️
0 likesI come back to this video so much. Right now I'm in a very bad place. I've been on meds for months, none of them are working. It feels like there's no getting out of this. And I'm very sick of peoples "it will get better!" viewpoint. Obviously it is nice to hear that, even if you don't believe it. But sometimes I just need to know someone has truly felt what I feel, and I'm not alone. So then I come to dodie.
0 likesGod I feel this entire video. My down days are like this, but with more wallowing and laughing at my pityfull crying.
0 likesHey, I feel you're talking about Brain Fog more than depression, since I had each of them on its own and I had them together, they're different, but I can be depressed and sad while having a clear head! That's why I am talking about Brain Fog, as also I can get foggy in the days when I felt good.
0 likesI woke up today and I was like.. so happy and in a second everything changed and it just turned from feeling happy to feeling so so sad and like, with no point and I just didn't know what to do and I felt ..nothing but when I watched your video I just.. I still feel like, nothing but.. at least I don't feel alone.
0 likesI wish more than anything that I could talk with you about DP/DR. I've had it since July 2015, but I've learned so much about it, and about myself with it, and I've developed such an appreciation for it and where I am now in life because of it. I still suffer with it, and have some days so much worse than others, but I don't ever get depressed about it. (just for other unexplainable reasons), and I don't ever panic anymore about it. I haven't had a DP/DR related panic attack in so long. I'd love to just chat about this. I'd love to try to help a little. Much love and light to you dear Dodie. <3
0 likesToday I found your channel. It's like a ray of sunshine. 🌼🐌
0 likesThis is actually me this entire summer and still am. I have been a huge ball of depression and, sadly, depression makes me a bit bitchy because I'm mad at myself for not being like I normally am. Thus, this makes me bitchy to other people. Depression sucks so much!
0 likessame. I think I've gotten depression over this summer. Emotionless, numb, and everything is anxious physically. But emotionally I'm just nothing. I don't even know anymore. I gotta go drink some tea.
0 likesI remember like... 3 years ago? I was reading this fantasy book about a world where once you turn 16 you get surgery to look like a beautiful perfect version of yourself, and the main character find out once she got the surgery that her and all these people were being kind of drugged to make themselves duller, kind of uncomprehending of the world? And then she and her friend found out once that when they didnt eat their (drugged) food, after a while when their hunger really kicked in they suddenly had this moment where it felt like a layer of cellophane was peeling from their eyes and they could see and understand everything clearly and be in the moment and that really stuck with me and it also the moment im waiting for
0 likesWould it be okay if I wrote down what she's says and give it to my doctor? I just can't articulate how I feel and this describes it perfectly. That wouldn't be like plagiarism would it? I'm not sure how that works.
0 likesI wanted to comment on your "will I feel spaced out in the future?" video but I can't find it :(. I felt spaced-out most of my 20's, alot of times after eating. Iron deficiency can do that, or low sugar. But after I was 26, it went away. Weird. Hope it goes away for you too. The feeling of "Reality" is very sweet, and addicting, like you always want to feel it again, but it really is fleeting (for me, anyhow). Your spirit is good, and you are loved by MANY. I will look forward to more videos from you. You are the part of the Glue that keeps humanity together, you really are, <3.
0 likesThis 100% just described my past two weeks. Last week everything was so good and then yesterday I started feeling, well nothing. and today was just straight up hell. it feels like I'm not fully awake, I just wanna not be here. Everything seems hopeless and colorless. I don't bother trying anymore and it feels like it's never going to get better. it will tho, and I know that. but right now it just feels like nothing. and that has made my anxiety worse. my eyes will start stinging and I just blink a lot and it's hard to look someone in their eyes.
0 likesI kinda wanna talk to a theraphist and maybe even get some medication. but my mom doesn't belive me and won't take me. she only makes jokes about it.
Ik that sounded super depressing but, I had to get it out somewhere
I relate to this, so much.
0 likesNo one's state should naturally be the way you felt but sadly, that is mine and then some. Hope you feel better soon!
0 likesYou know your depressed when your watching rick and morty and at the same time having an existential crisis
0 likeshaving depression is like you’re constantly going through a really bad break up
0 likesWow you are SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERSON INSIDE OUT✨
0 likesMe: am I depressed, what's happening!
0 likesReality: oh wait it's my anxiety and I'm due for my period tomorrow....
But what she said in this video is still accurate for me
I love you. You are going to be okay. I am depressed a lot. But it is ok. You will get through this.
0 likesSometimes I just..lie in my bed. Curtains closed. Door locked. No light. And I just lie there.
0 likesFor the whole day.
you are so beautiful and i am sure that i have never been more in love with a person before
0 likesOh my god this is so relatable
0 likesWhen she claps is it Morse code? Or just clapping? :) it's really cute!!
0 likesI so get you dodieeeeeeeee
0 likesI really bloody needed this video
Jesus I love you
0 likesDUDE THIS IS SO RELATABLE. MOSTLY THE PAST THING!
0 likesI just realized how damn depressed i am
0 likesI feel like there is a giant black and blue pit in my chest and things just fall into it, and it feels all heavy but empty and hurts but also numb and I have lived with this pit for five years. Some days I feel okay, others I don't and I keep telling myself that I will feel good again but it is hard to forget that I will also feel bad again.
0 likesi'm in college now my second year and i always feel this way when i'm far away from home i wasn't that happy back in morocco but not as the same way here i tried everything weed alcohol i even tried extasie the day before today but it messed me up so much you can't even imagine fodd doesn't make me feel better going out either and i try so hard to open up to my friends but they don't fucking understand and think that m just sad or making stuff up honestly no idea what they think about me i didn't go to school this week and i feel so bad about it i really need help but i don't know where can i get it
0 likesso I literally just found this channel and already it's the most relatable thing ever. and when I say 'just found' I mean like 2 minutes ago.
0 likesalso it's 2 am so can you tell how far up I am on the fuck-my-life-o-meter? (I'm sorry this comment is such a mess idk what I'm doing anymore)
IF YOU'RE DEPPRESED LISTEN TO SYRTAKI MUSIC ! IT REALLY HELPS !
0 likesHoly shit i think im depressen too.
0 likesAnd not just from this video too.
I thought depression was a state of being, not an emotion.
0 likesthis is exactly what I say people, this is exactly how I feel... but people don't seem to understand somehow
0 likesWhen ever i ask my parents to get me tested for depression they just say i want attention or that im not trying to be happy. I havnt left my room in days because i just dont have the strength to do anything. My parents get mad at me for feeling depressed. And when my mum gets mad, she hits me. I used to self harm and my dad yelled at me while my mum just said "I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed" when they found out. It sucks feeling unloved and like you don't belong. But its even worse when you cant do anything about it.
2 likesI don't know why I'm sad all the time now. Im perfectly fine when I'm with other people but as soon as I'm home by myself in my room I get so sad and tired not sleepy just tired. I don't think I'm depressed I just am sad. I don't want to do anything anymore because it's not the same. I don't know why I just am
0 likesyou just explain pretty much "me" in six mins and forty five seconds
0 likesI CAN RELATE TO THIS 100%
0 likesDepression is just from thoughts negative thoughts i get depression and I try to overcome it
0 likesI am crying right now because I typed "am I depressed" on the search and found your vid. It is so relatable...I am in bed. I work night shifts, 12 hour at a time. My next one is coming over the weekend. I hope I will drag myself out of bed and join a spinning class in about 2 hours. It is now 4 pm, I woke up around 3 AM and all I did is eat and slip back to bed and feel like crying, and guilt af....Love from the States. No, I don't have active suicidal ideations but sometimes, I feel like "not existing" would be much better.
0 likesI watch this video on my depressing days
0 likesIdk when I get really really bad I dissociate and everything feels cold and and empty and hazy and I'm so tired I just have to lay down on the floor because it feels like my body is being crushed by some sort of freezing cold fog :( anyways I'm with u dod we'll get better together also meds are helpful
0 likesYou know what? I won't skip the ad to cheer you up a bit
0 likesI felt depressed after going through a heartbreak. I'm ok now but I tear up periodically and freeze up whenever it crosses my mind. It ruined me during my finals for the end of the year. I couldn't think of anything except him shattering my heart into a million pieces. I felt like I was mourning a death. I couldn't read, because my brain could not process words when thoughts and memories of him flooded my mind. Smiling felt like a chore, unnatural and weird for a while. And when I would see him in the halls, I felt like I was walking on invisible stairs. I felt like I was going to fall down. My breathing and heart rate quickened, and I had uncontrollable shakes. I felt like an elephant had decided to pull up a chair and take a seat on my chest. I felt actual pain in my heart, and I'm not trying to be poetic here. I still need help and it's been three months. At least I can distract myself now. I don't feel the intense pain, but I do long for him periodically. I sound crazed, don't I? I hate how I feel this way towards another person and he didn't care enough to let me down easy. It surely implies many things about his character, but I can't shake the thought that I still feel like I am in love with him. I feel betrayed and lost. Dodie, you understand, right?
0 likesThat's how I feel now
0 likesI feel like I'm the only one who blames my constant cycle of sadness and worry on hormones... because these days everytime you're young and crying in front of someone, it's hormones. Or maybe it's just me being brainwashed into thinking it is.
0 likesThis is me today 😩
0 likes'I'm depressed today so I'm going to to complain to my preteen audience'
0 likesi keep coming back to this
0 likesI'm depressed today as well.
0 likesI'm feeling the same right now and it's fucking horrible, terrible and i hate everything.
0 likesThanks for this video dodie...
Fucking life, fucking brain
So glad someone understands
0 likesI honestly can't tell if I'm depressed or not because it's just the same all the time. I'm unmotivated, and I fell this almost physically painful pressure on my chest that won't go away. I don't know. I just don't want to feel it anymore.
0 likesI'm sorry I don't know why I decided to make this about me. Sorry. I'm done
imagine having this at school...
0 likeswait dodie!! Do you also have thyroid problems?? Bc I have an under active thyroid (hashimoto's disease) and derealize like all the time and maybe there's a connection?
0 likes0:28 is me when I tell my friend not to go back to her trash boyfriend and she does it anyways. Then she comes back crying
0 likesGod damn i never related so bad
0 likesi know this is not really the topic but how does she just warm the peas up in the microwave? can you do this? lmao im so sorry but it looked so tasty
0 likeswork it girl, work this market.
0 likesIt's hard to be depressed as a teen, even harder than it is already, because people will keep saying "it's just a teenage depression, get over yourself, in a few days you'll feel better". like they're not even trying to understand that I sometimes feel sad or angry because of hormones and some days I will feel like the most worthless piece of crap on this planet, like I'm a tiny, sad speck in a giant space, weighed down to the ground, forced to do nothing, forced to stay low and keep walking even though I want to break down and cry. I've had an argument recently with two of my "friends" and it was over text and they kept accusing me of things and I tried to say stop it, you can't even see what you are doing. They didn't see how I was crying my eyes out, not being able to breathe, not being able to think anything except for "you're worthless. they are right. you are a terrible person." I said to one of them "do you know what you are doing right now" and she said "yeah, you're having a breakdown" and kept cutting me with accusations and insults. She said id casually, too. Like "who cares if you have a breakdown, I want to say this to you right now, you need to understand how mad I am at you". I ended up calling another friend and calmed myself down, but the feeling wasn't gone. It always takes at least a full night to get rid of the feeling. But this time I know it won't go away completely.
0 likesI dunno what it is, people irritate me so quickly, i dont smile, i struggle to enjoy things, i wanna be in bed all day and i wear my headphones for probably about 5 hrs a day. I always see the bad side of things and lately ive been panicking about a lot of pointless things
0 likesI always have suicide thoughts 😕
0 likesShe was watching rick and morty ❤ i love her so much
1 likeThe Accuracy Is Scary
0 likesOmg 4:16 to 4:31 is how I feel most of the time and I absolutely hate it. Does anyone know how to help me feel happiness and how to have fun again. It's like I'll have days where nothing will cheer me up. For example 2016 Christmas I didn't feel excited at all and it felt wrong 😪😭
0 likesTHANK YOU ME TOO ITS PHYSICAL
0 likesI live in a a very sexist environment, I'm a teenage girl and a huge feminist, but no matter how many battles I fight within my friends, family, and teachers, trying to just show them I'm not helpless. I've been shamed for my period, harassed for my sexuality, a boy even threatened to raped many times. But when I try to reach out for help, try to get some justice, I'm told it's me just being dramatic, it's hormones. It's my fault. I'm at war with myself. Some parts of me tell me to let it go, or that I am being dramatic, other parts are screaming to get up and do something, and others just want to hide in my bed, and cry. I think I'm depressed, but then again, maybe I am being dramatic. I'm so painfully aware of my existence that I've lost who I am. Now I'm just a dark collage of voices in my mind that bicker and yell like children. Ha, I guess they are right, I am dramatic, look at that sentence I just wrote.
0 likesHelp
I can feel like Dodie sometimes but I don't really know if I have depression. I don't really say "hey, I have this mental illness!!" because I'm not sure. Sometimes I can feel like my whole body is heavy, I don't want to do anything, I don't shower, I eat just because I have too but I don't enjoy the food. When I'm actually sad the first thing I can think of is "I want to kill myself". I almost had eating desorders, too. I don't feel comfortable in places with lot of people, or parties, but if I don't go I feel really sad because I think I'm just letting my teenager years go away. I'm not even sure about this but I think one time I had a panic attack (And I say I'm not sure because I don't really know how it is supposed to feel). I keep a lot of things for myself, I don't tell my family and it makes me feel like shit but I feel that if I say something I'll fuck everything up. I have lots of insecurities with my body, with my face, with my personality. Sometimes I feel like I only am here to make people feel bad. I don't know if this is normal (I'm 15 years old) or if it is depression. I remember being sad since I was 8 because I didn't have more than one friend, I had this girl who I think hated me, and when I grew up people (even my friend) will make fun of me for my body. Then my friend made another friend and since I was 12 I'm feeling like this, but every time is worse. I'm not the kind of person who just talks about it, but I feel like I need help.
0 likesSame…love this video so much
0 likesYOU CAN GET FROZEN EDAMAME? BIIIITTTCH, I need some lol
0 likesI didn't know she swore
0 likesIdk if I'm depressed, broken or just being dramatic.
0 likesSince I started back at school (year 10) I constantly feel like everyone is judging me and everyone hates me and I just feel rly self conscious all the bloody time and especially this past week I feel like I've just sort of flatlined emotionally and I'm emotionally drained I just can't focus or do anything productive and I'm stressing about my future like 'am I going to fail my GCSEs?' 'am I taking the right GCSEs?' and 'wtf am I going to do in my future?' one of the worst things is that it's my birthday in almost a week (Oct 2nd wahey) and I don't feel up to having a party or at the very least celebrating with close friends and now I'm just waffling on please send help and if you've read all of this then congratubloodylations you now know wayyyy too much about my sad broken little life I'm sorry 🙃
Gonna eat edamame tomorrow
0 likesdodie changed my perspective
0 likesI am here to join you in this depression. So we are one in two ways of fucked
0 likesI just had I a fight with my step dad and now I'm crying in my room I never want to come out.
0 likesWhy do I just want to cry and cry and cry and cry...
0 likesI know what im feeling but at the same time i cant help but think im over reacting and it will be over soon but when i waje up everyday i know its not over and i dont think a normal person would climb intp a closet to have a panic attack because the person in rhe next room is shouting but maybe im just being crazy or making myself believe but how could i do that and if i was then it wouldnt constantly be on my mind like i feel nothingness and emptiness and confusion but im just not working like i used to and i jyst wish i wasnt so crazy but im kibda half diagnosed cause im not talking to anyone but i have been reffered but wgat if it jyst stops. Does thst mean that im attention seeking. I dobt kmow anymore. I jyst want to be nornal tbh...
0 likesThis video is so rentable
0 likesdoDIE MY HEART DONT CRY CRAFT
2 likesModern life is depressing.
0 likesGirl me too 💁
0 likesMy favourite video ever
0 likesSaying to go see a therapist.. but what if your parents just say "You'll be alright, you're over exaggerating".. then I can't really see a therapist
0 likesGood video but I just really hate how in the title she put "today" even though depression is a condition.
0 likesI now this is a old video but I feel the same way I fell like I have depersonalization but I'm young and can't tell my parents we are old fashion and I expect therapy to be expensive and I'm poor so I deal with it
0 likes3:53 WHOAH 😂
0 likeshave you tried doing sports?
0 likesi don't understand depression
0 likesand i've had depression since i was 8?
can someone tell me what shes eating pleeeeease!!!!
0 likesokay no matter how weird this is gonna sound, but I'm just gonna say: Satan is a father of lies.
0 likeswho has eyes, let them see. probably does not make sense at all, I get that, (it never used to make sense to me in the past either), but it hopefully will make sense, and it will make even a rainy, depressed day into an amazing day. (:
What we all feel (and I bet we all have "these" days - some of us less often then the others) is one great lie. We weren't made to feel that way. We weren't made to think that way. We were created for something bigger than that, for something bigger than we could ever understand.
have a great day
Take the damn meds. They help I swear
0 likesThis video is very important.
0 likesdon't check, because every illness cares what you think
0 likesmy name is blurryface and i care what you think
you keep feeding it
just try to not think about it
Im 11 I have clinical depression the 4 types of anxiety and have had suicidal thoughts
0 likes@doddlevloggle "Twinkle twinkle tear drops ...They all are sparkling around your eyes...drawing its mark down your cheeks...Most beautiful of which is your honestiness ..." nothing but xo...xo...xo <3 :)
0 likesYou are really weird. But I really like you.
0 likesHow do u get through depression😕??
0 likesReplies (1)
So easily I should say
0 likesYoU pUt It InTo WoRdS
0 likesITs JuST horMOnEs
0 likesItS Just part Of groWiNg uppp
lol nah aunt helen, i have depression
I get you
0 likesI'm sorry you are depressed.
0 likesoH WaY ooH
0 likesI don't want to be me and I'm ashamed of that but I can't do this anymore. It depresses me but I don't have 'depression' . Ugh what am I even doing I just want attention
0 likesI worked out why you are depressed.
0 likesreads title me too
0 likesNOT MY CHAIR NOT MY PROBLEM
0 likesI kind of relate with her😶😐😑😐😞😟😤😡😣😳😛😎😐😑😐😑😒😯😵😭😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😡😡😡😡😆😆😆 my mood right now
0 likeshi
0 likesThe My Brain Sucks Ass Club
0 likesPlease try my mind purification video
0 likesEat more ice cream.
0 likesSame ;<
0 likesI am depressed and i worry so much and im scared my friend will try to hang himself again and im sorry this comment makes you sad. I don’t know what to do with myself and most days i feel nothing. Like I am nothing. I don’t want to die because my family could never recover but I want to stop existing for a while
1 likeReplies (1)
Smooth jazz frog I’m here if you want to talk. I’m here for you. I don’t want you going through this alone.
0 likesAY RICK AND MORTYYY
0 likesthanks for this
0 likesis this Goblin Dodie? xoxox ly
0 likespeople during quarantine be like
0 likesOmg the morning is the worst for me cause I just want to cry and go back to sleep
0 likesLove you
0 likesAlthough I am not diagnosed with depression, I love how openly you can speak about hard times. Thank you Dodie. ❤️
0 likesThe way you articulate this is amazing!! The part about happy mind and depressed mind not having empathy for each other...wow...resonated deep with me x
0 likes"I just feel this constant longing for something and I'm not getting it." That's exactly that. You've described absolutely perfectly what I feel (If I can talk about feeling anything at all). I've been dealing with depression for years and that's hard. I love those kind of videos. Thank you for sharing what you feel: makes me feel less lonely.
0 likesThank you for this explanation. I've always wanted to know what depression was like and I've wanted to understand it more.
0 likesI didn't know what depression really was and I thought I've been having just more sad days but this video describes me and my life... thanks 🙏🏼 maybe this will help - me and more people to get more educated and get help 🙏🏼 stay strong xx
0 likesLiterally, this is the first video about depression that I have found that truly describes depression without it being over the top or emotional, or anything like that. I love this. Thank you
1 likeI feel you sisss. I also think you're the bravest person I know for being so open at your channel and let us see the genuine you. I like you :) You're awesome. B'bye!
0 likesI am so glad I am not alone. Thank you for your candid and relatable conversation about this terrifying and debilitating mental illness.
0 likesOmg dodie I feel you, this is so relatable. Sometimes I just lay in bed feeling like a lump. Hope u are okay. ❤️
0 likesThis is such an important video. I have felt exactly like that for the past month but I just brush it off thinking I can't be depressed, I don't have real reason to be depressed. You being so open helps so many people.
0 likesWhen you said "I just feel this constant longing for something, and I'm not getting it." That completely resonates with me. I feel this practically all the time. Wow.. I might be depressed. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to show a tough day. You helped me see that I may possibly be depressed. So thank you
0 likesi watch this every time i feel depressed and it honestly resonates with me so deeply
0 likesI appreciate you. It feels like no one understands until they speak on it. Spreading awareness and helping stop the stigma all with your voice, you did that. Take it day by day baby!!!!
0 likesThis was actually calming and nice to watch because it gives me a sense of not being alone in what I feel.
0 likesI'm going through this exact thing again. Last time I watched this I was on the upswing, and now I'm on the way way downswing. But this helped. When I get like this I feel alien and in a foreign land no matter what I do, but this made me feel slightly less alien. So thank you.
0 likesyou're wonderful
0 likesi teared up cause that's exactly how i feel sometimes and struggling with that in such a young age is terrible
i luv ya
you inspire me to be someone better every day
i started to sing cause of you
and was encouraged to follow my dream cause of you
again
you're wonderful
This video made me feel so less alone. Much appreciated. Do hope you're feeling better though.
0 likesWow this was amazing to see. To know someone else feels this way. That I'm not alone when I'm like this. Which is like all the time. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing 💛
0 likes-mariah
I hope you're feeling better. Sending much love your way!!
0 likesOmfg yes. The difference between the chemical and emotional depression. I mean I know in reality they coincide but HOLY FUCK I've been looking for too long at how to describe the difference properly. You put it...EXACTLY into words. Thank you dodie. Love you and hope you all the best💖✨
0 likesi keep coming back to this video because its so relatable. There are days in which i feel so unmotivated and messy, but im glad im not the only who goes through this.
0 likesSo many things about this video is so perfect. I needed this to know I wasn't the only one. I can't thank you enough for that.
0 likesyou're very good at expressing your emotions, it's actually quiete impressive
0 likesI love this. I love how real it is.
0 likesDamn you just put everything what I feel into WORDS !!woah
0 likesnow this, is how you can put it into words. I never thought it was possible, but you did it
0 likesWow, even when you're depressed you are so precious and you still care.
0 likesI have had my first bouts and experiences with depression over the past 3 years I would say. I feel alot better now, but I still have moments that are similar to what you described. It is bizarre to feel this way, when for years I never did. And I can relate to you when you were saying I want to go back, or I remember when I was content like every day for a really long time. Where did that go? The weird thing for me now is it is like a roller coaster. I have days where I feel amazing and everything runs smooth and I have so much energy and go all day and other days where I feel like I can't do anything. It is so strange to me. Anyhow. I do anything and everything to stay UP. Looking after ourselves is SO important. I love that you were eating green beans while you're depressed. That to me is huge. It means you still care about yourself
The best advice I give myself when I try so hard to feel like I did before is, allow yourself to feel this way, it's ok to not feel ok, and then I let myself sleep more, not shower, not go outside and everything I feel like doing. Maybe it'll help not to think you have to fix how you feel just let it be, it's ok, it's good it's part of being you.
0 likesDodie. I love ur music and u!! I love who u are and what ur about. U remind me of myself so much. I feel exactly how ur feeling everyday and I am only 14. I don't know what's real anymore and I feel blind. I have help but it feels like it's going to take 1 billion years to "fix" me. I just want u to know that I know how u feel and everything u are going through is the same as me. Love u dodie ❤️
0 likesAfter watching this video I went to my kitchen and got myself a nice cup of ice water and took out some healthy food(mangoes, celery, tomatoes) because you were eating some of those green things and it made my insides feel good. So I went and ate some good stuff and I'm feeling much better now. Thank you.
0 likesYou put it into words, this is my everyday state. And it's nice to know someone understands.
0 likesOh my god this video makes me feel like I'm not alone. Like you have no idea how much this is helping me out. I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I'm so sick of people saying that it's hormones or mood swings and it's really annoying and ugh I'm so sick of all of this
0 likesdont know but my eyes are tearing , thank you for explaining how I feel , I'm bad at expressing my feelings , that depressed me the most no one could understand what's in my head , hope you have a good day 💜
0 likesOkay, so this is my first time watching your videos and i can honestly say that this is me a lot. I understand you. I subscribed because i relate to you like so hard lmao.
0 likesThank you for this summary. It's like that. I love when people can get real sometimes..
0 likesI honestly needed this video rn because it shows that I'm not alone in the position I'm in. Thank you Dodie for making me feel less alone with how I feel and with my depression. Thank you so so much and I know you wont see this but we all loe and appreciate you and are happy to have you alive, thanks for all that you do!!! stay safe and look after yourself <3
0 likesFeeling like you are not getting the full picture of life is a very good description that I have never heard before but I can relate to that feeling!
0 likesWhen I get as low as you talk about here, I put no expectations on myself, I just think in the moment, and listen to my favourite music while I wait to sleep so my mind won't start to wander or get stressed out. X
0 likesI just now found your channel and I love it because you're honest and not faking your appearance for others. I love you ^^ for being yourself <3 stay strong
0 likesoh man, that was good. very well depicted. that's how I feel a few days a week.
0 likesIt's so nice that you post these things and don't just show people the best parts of your life, you are actually real and share your low points and show us that it's okay to be open about these things. I love you so much aaahh ❤️
0 likesi still watch this to this day and makes me feel related to someone
0 likesI always feel like this around the first and last parts of a school year. Along with the middle of the year when I'm not motivated for anything. I don't want to leave my room. I don't want to talk to my family. I don't know why, and it sucks.
0 likesThis video puts into words every single thing I've been thinking about, but never knew how to articulate. Wow. I just, I'm so happy you're willing to be so transparent about things like this, cause a lot of times people (like me) just try to repress it which just makes it worse, and listening to people (like you) talk about it without trying to hide anything means so much. I can't put into words how thankful I am for this video, and It makes me feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you Dodie:)
0 likesGlad I made it through ❤️ my therapist was the worst.
0 likesi'm really glad you made this video because i don't feel as alone
0 likesITS IN WORDS. Kinda nice to know that it's not just me that feels this way.
0 likesi love this video. it makes me feel better about having bad depressed days. like i shouldn't make myself feel worse for having a bad day i should just keep trying and i should remember that i was happy and i can be happy i again.
0 likeswhenever i imagine what it mist have been like for people to be depressed before people had discovered what it was/that it was a real mental disorder, a chemical imbalance at that, i can't help but think about how a hundred years from now people are going to be getting full proper treatment for things we still cant really understand/fix (like depersonalization) and are gonna look back at those of us suffering rn and say, "wow, cant imagine how they managed." stay strong.
0 likesHUNNY! I have been dealing with this for quite some time, same thing you have described. Except mine sort of sprung up out of smoking weed (which i will never do again). But i have learned to do the things that scare me, to put myself in situations where i fear i am going to feel the worst, just so i can truthfully remind myself that i am in control. Recently ive been trying to put my phone down more. It makes me feel like i am here on earth more than in my head. So often it feels like no one understands where my head is at, not even me, but ive found comfort in realizing that there are people, like yourself, who share the same feelings as me. I am not alone. Most of the time its like the air around me is thick, like the world and this life are parts of a video game where my emotions are raging and are never all in one place at one time, as if they have the control of me. At its peak i begin to question my own existence, am i here?, is this really me?, where am i?, and thoughts like those are the most frightening. Try to touch things when you feel that way, sometimes i close my eyes and i actually feel like i can see and feel things more clearly, which i understand sounds odd, but these are some things that have helped me. Ive never understood mental illness until i contracted one. Life is outta hand, so messy and painful, confusing and beautiful, but you just have to know somewhere deep inside of you that you will come out of it. Know that you will get out of it, and you are never all that far from feeling "real". You are real and beautiful, and there is an unbelievable harsh reality that depersonalization brings with it, but i am happy to have seen life through this lens, it has taught me immense things about myself. Anyways, i could go on for days about this, but i love the person you are, you inspire me, and you are not alone.
0 likesDodie, I love you so, so much sends hugs and love and cups of tea <3 xxx
0 likesWow I love this so much! So honest. If anyone wants to check out a spoken word I wrote on my depression, it's on my channel. I need to post the other poem I wrote before that one as well!
0 likesI never ever tought I would be depressed or something like that but this video opened my eyes. Maybe there is something wrong with my brain....
0 likesI understand this so much! I went down so much I went into the hospital
0 likesThat's exactly how i am when im depressed. There's days where im at my happiest and i feel like everything is gonna be okay and the next day i just feel like im in a black hole. and it seems like nothing is gonna get me out and i have the same feeling of needing something but not knowing what i need and its frustrating because it seems like nothing is ever gonna help and I feel so empty inside that I just lay there, not doing anything but lay there and stare at my wall and be clouded with my thoughts. Im not writing this so people can pity me but im writing it so people know they aren't alone and that depression is something real not a "trend". So for the people who fake being depressed because you think its "cool". Im glad YOU can "turn off" your depression whenever you please.
0 likesI woke up one day and realized I hadn't felt depressed in months. I hadn't struggled with depression long-term.... so I don't think this will be the case for everyone. But it happened to me. I don't remember it happening... or why or how but I just realized it hadn't been a thing in a really long time. Since then I still get the odd day that can be accurately described by the events in this video... but it's rare. Hopefully that gives some people hope.
0 likeswow...I haven't known this channel for long but looking at her other videos it is so different...I've never seem her like this all gloomy and down never even heard her swear and, I just saw another side to her.
0 likeswhen I get depressed it feels like there's a heavy cloud in my head
0 likesJust the state of my room when I'm depressed compared to when I'm healthy is so so different. Food wrappers everywhere, old towels and dirty clothes covering every bit of carpet, cluttered desk, unmade bed, tons of water glasses accumulating on my bedside table. And my anxiety wont let me sleep in a gross messy room so I'm always extra tired and yeah. High five for mental illness ://
0 likesI relate to the social situations thing so much :/ Like all of a sudden I'll just start feeling sad and super insecure and boring.
0 likesI kid you not you have described everything that goes through my head and what I feel when I have these days. Wow I always thought no one understood you have proved me wrong. Shit thank you
0 likesWhen I'm depressed, I barely do anything. But if I get myself to get up and get showered and open my shades and go outside, I feel a lot better. Sometimes if I eat too much food and regret eating grossly during the day, I get in bed around 6pm and lay there till I fall asleep 5 hours later... so yeah
2 likesIt's nice to watch this as I feel very drowned today
0 likesi kinda love this though. like, of course im sorry you have to deal with this because it sucks. but this is such a real representation of depression. its not poetry and tea, its not horrific and gory... its very boring and shitty. its VERY eating edemame beans in the middle of your floor, trying to read a pamphlet and then going to bed.
0 likesFeel better, sunshine. 🌻
0 likesWord for word how I feel right now
0 likesWell I can relate to this a lot. I'm not diagnosed tho so I won't go ahead and give myself a diagnosis because that wouldn't help at all.
0 likesOh my god how did I not find this video before I feel this way so much wow it's nice to hear someone talking about it
0 likesMedication is pretty amazing. It can take a while to find a treatment that works for you (and it takes about a month for it to kick in), but when you do, your whole world changes. I was on the fence about meds as well, but when I had a severe depressive episode at the same time I lost health insurance (I'm not in the UK) I became pretty desperate to try anything that would just make me feel better. Now that I'm in a healthy place I find it stunning that so many people who have histories of severe, chronic depression won't try medication. It seriously works.
1 likei relate to this whole vid... like it's getting scary.
0 likesI started crying when I was watching this because I felt so understood ughhh
0 likesthis is me everyday pretty much
0 likesOmg she explained how I feel
0 likesI understand the part when you said you're not depressed you think things like "How was I ever depressed" or stuff like that. When i'm happy I feel the same way about when I was depressed where I cannot remember what it felt like or how I could've been so low before when I feel so normal other times.
0 likesYes, I know this feeling
0 likesi relate to this so much
0 likesSo I'm on a Dodie binge and I'm not sure if I should watch her happy/music videos because even though the music is amazing and makes me feel really good, and her general vibe is so nice, I know I'll get super jealous of how beautiful and talented and perfect she is, and I'll fall into the hole of loving my idols while also being so angry with them. I'll literally be on YouTube watching Dodie and Tessa and all of my others faves and internally battling with myself for how I feel. Urgh. Lovely video though, I've watched it so many times at this point and it never stops being relatable. Hope you're doing well, Dods. 💕
0 likesGirl I know what it is, it's quite normal in the last few months and I felt like you feel like your brain can not cling to absolutely nothing and you feel like your head weighs a lot, and it's all you Seemingly indifferent and stupid, but as I said, it is quite normal and will not last forever as soon as I get it right, and you will be fine
0 likesthis was so cute btw, i love this vid lol :) what camera do you use?
0 likesfeel like this every day, its so tireing
0 likesIts scary... I just found Dodies channel and I'm alike her... I play ukulele, I sing, I'm bi, and depressed
0 likesThat happened last year, it felt like a dream. My mind wasn't where it was supposed to be.. and I was sad that week so that created depression! Yay me e.e
0 likescoming from a depressed person, I didn't know that there were circumstances where depression shuts on and off. is this the chemical side or life event and attitude side? not a sarcastic comment, I'm dead serious.
0 likesi feel you girl!!! i feel you. :( is it a good or a bad thing?
0 likesi have literally never related to something more in my life
0 likeswoooooooow you just described every detail in my life
0 likesmy mom thought my depressed was cured after i stopped taking my medicine (doctor didnt tell me to, i just did) and i am at a point i can live without it without being on the edge of killing myself but i still am very depressed which was a shock to her lol
0 likesI literally feel and say the same things difference I don't tell people like my mom or have a therapist
0 likesmy depression works so diffrenty compared to a lot of people ,i make my self go out and exlpore the world sand show my family and friends a happy me but then once i get alone i curl up in a dark corner and let everything negative get into my head .
0 likesyou made me cry so hard SAME.EXACT.THOUGHTS. triggered here
0 likesDamn this was too real it really hurts lmao
0 likesI'm craving Edamame now.
0 likesI know this so well. And i hate the time when i'm so painfully sarcastic to others, because they don't get what i feel... And it hurts when they're trying to chear you up.. but you just can't and then they are sad for you.
0 likesI hate people who say 'ohh, my life would be so much better if I didn't have depression or anxiety' like, you have the perfect life... you don't have depression or anxiety, you can do things I can't, i can't even talk to certain people or do certain things without having a breakdown whereas you do it like it's nothing! Or when people say they're depressed because they're upset, you don't know how it feels to have to drag yourself out of bed every morning and fight through the days...
1 likeOk, rant over... great video Dodie ♥️♥️
That "wooowww" made me laugh. It was a funny way to say it
0 likesAfter five years, I'm finally not depressed after figuring out im transgender. and im getting on hormones soon, which is better than when i used to do hardcore drugs lol. so thats cool.
0 likesthis is so me and i never know what to do when i feel depressed. i don't really like to talk about it with others and i think the only person who knows about how i feel is my best friend but she worries a lot so i can't really talk about it with her. i just know that she won't really listen and she would only just think about the whole thing not really listening to what i say. all she thinks about is MY FRIEND IS DEPRESSED! and not how i feel. so yeah
0 likesCan you make a video about how to tell if you have depression/feel depressed or not? Like what is the difference between having depression or just feeling depressed
0 likeslove that video for some reason idk... it just feels so real
0 likesdon't be sad boo 💓
0 likesWHY IS THIS SO RELATABLE, LIKE THIS IS ME ALMOST EVERY FUCKING DAY.
0 likesim glad this wqs months ago and you seem much happier now
0 likesbrain fog is the worst... feels like you're high/out it but so painfully "there" at the same time
0 likesWhere is the pullover from? Its so nice and pretty
0 likesher voice is so cuteee
0 likesFor when I am weak then I am strong
0 likesliterally when i enter The Spiral™ i can't face even leaving my bed so i just legit lie there with my laptop balanced on my stomach, watching louis theroux on netflix (for the 700th time) with a milk carton, belvita soft bakes, pure strawberry nesquik powder, sticky rib pot noodle and doritos and dairy milk, bored eating my way thru the day, with my gross hoodie that reeks of stale smoke and grimy sports direct trackies, my room smells of ash and my bed is disgusting and probs sweaty as coz ive been lying in it all day, and my unwashed hair goes matted and gross from being tied into the same bun for 5 days straight.
0 likesHahahaha dont know wats wrong with me but I feel the same, I might be dying, whatever.🙃
0 likesawww i love dodie • 🖤 •
0 likesdoes depression suddenly comes and goes away and comes back again suddenly?
0 likesI love the fact she was watching Rick and Morty at the beginning. like same.
0 likesoh geez i get the same thing where everything just feels like it's not there? like i'm just far away from everything that's happening sometimes i'll snap out of it and i'm like "oh right everything's real i forgot" but it'll last for like a few seconds i'll go back to it osetimes i legitimately believe any second reality just gonna break and i'm gonna be like "yep i knew this was all fake" of course it doesn't happen but yeah
0 likesI have different levels of depression and it's very bipolar
0 likesOkay I know this is a very serious video but I just need to know what those things are that she's eating cause it looks really good. does anyone know?
0 likesReplies (1)
Adaline Pettit Edamame
0 likesloving your primark pj pants
0 likestbh I liked her lighting better than others youtubers
0 likesI love this.
0 likestoday is one of those days. i feel heavy and bored. everything i do is just an action. im feeling no satisfaction from the things that usually make me smile. just saying here now i feel uncomfortable and im experiencing this longing feeling where, no matter what i do, im not fufilled. i havent brushed my teth today. nor have i taken my asthma medication.
0 likesso now im jsut going to go to bed and listen to this owl which randomly started hooting during the making of this comment.
~ a depressed british bean <3
(sorry. i needed escape)
Constant longing, eternal restlessness
0 likesI've been feeling depressed for about 6 years and I keep thinking why ain't I happy I'm whole and I have a family that loves me so why do I feel worthless without a purpose. Everyone seems to have their life figured and I feel stuck. I always check my mood in the morning I always check my mood. I hate when I feel happy because I know it's not going to last and it's not because of certain situations I just fucking do that it's like I love being sad which I don't but I can't find any other reason for feeling this is way it is so frustrating. I stay in pajamas all day and to avoid conversations like "Hey Diana how are you" I lock myself in my room even eating seems difficult. I can't sleep and in the morning I can't get up. I'm glued to my bed. College rn seems like a drag I have finals and I feel like I can't even pick up my pencil. I just want to fucking be a normal happy person. why is it so hard? Am I making it hard? and if I am why? why do I do that because I just don't feel in control of anything anymore.
0 likesYes. Yes. Agreed with everything.
0 likesI feel exactly the way you describted it......
0 likesI've never related more to a video
0 likesJesus heals depression.
0 likesI feel some of what you are saying but mine is to do with me missing routine, I have finished my a levels and I miss the business in my routine. I know that it's because I'm bored and I want to go out and do things but can't afford to do things that I know will stop my boredom. Ugh...
0 likesYea sorry had to get that off my chest
But I know it's not depression, I've seen family members depressed so I do know that what I am feeling isn't depression, I'm just bored
In the same space right now - not only physically ill and waiting for scans, but mental illness is being a right bastard. At the point where I'm trying so many tips and tricks to get myself out of this big dip but it just frustrates me more when they don't work. And like, things have been great, but then bloody terrible things have happened this year too, and I just can't really seem to feel anything but sad, hopeless numbness. Either that or something really great will happen and then afterwards my swing back into a depressive state gets worse. I just want to get better and I think because I'm ill, my meds aren't working like they should.
0 likesI wish it was only for one day...
1 likeWhen I'm depressed i just kept on eating chocolates and get letting myself more down idk why I do that it's annoying
0 likesI feel you.
0 likeswhen you opened the fridge i thought youll try fit in it. i do that. why idk i just do and i just sit and its not good for my food and the doors open and its cold but i just sit in my fridge with all of content on the floor in front of me.
0 likesIt's healthy to cry.
0 likesWhat are you eating, they look really good.
0 likesi dont have depression but same
0 likesthe problem with me is when I get sad to happy very fast sad to happy sad to happy all over again
0 likesShe is sooo sweet
0 likesI'm fucking in love with you 😹 i feel like you
0 likeslol i just feel like giving no emotion towards anything I do like i usually just have an annoyed expression with everything but im not sad, mad, happy or anything. just no emotion. like i don't even really find anything funny/happy/sad anymore, YEET WHAT ARE FEELINGS 🤷🏻♀️
0 likesI'm depressed today and this kinda made me want to wright poetry .-. So I'll be doing that now um bye
0 likesI am chemically depressed.
0 likesI'm so down right in this moment it's 1am and I just woke up because I fell asleep at 8pm. I feel so lonely right now that's why I came here (to feel understood?) I just wanna watch some Ghibli(is that how it's written) movies while eating some peas but I have last day of school tomorrow Idk if I'll go tho my friends are at some party right now without me. I couldn't go because of physical problems(pain etc.) and at first a friend told me she would stay at home with me and I was so happy but then she told me she would go to the party because she didn't want to upset our other friends. I think that's why I'm in this situation right now? That's just such a bad reason to be depressed I can't force my friends to stay in with me but still I'm so sad that they went why am I such a bad person I don't get it? What's wrong with me
1 likeI thought I was the only one who felt this. I thought I was insane. but then I got diagnosed with major depression and now I have an eating disorder. I don't have any motivation anymore. it's effort for me to even watch TV or go to the bathroom. I don't want to sleep but at the same time I'm tired. I don't want to go out. I don't want to do anything. I feel nothing. it's like the world is against me and is punishing me for having depression. I try not to harm myself but it's just too hard. yes my username is lmao kill me because I always say it as a joke. only if they knew I was actually being serious. I laugh it off. act happy with friends but at night I cry on my own not knowing what to do. I've had suicidal thoughts I can't stop them from appearing. please someone tell me what to do
0 likesI hope you are feeling better
0 likesbe who you are
0 likesI m feeling depressed today. And lazy too.
0 likesI feel like the worst thing is being incredibly ambitious and depressed and you feel like absolutely lazy and useless and goddamn it.
0 likesShe talks like how i wish i could right
0 likesi just feel like im wathcing the voice in my head on a video lol
0 likesMy anxiety is really bad today and I have to go to work
0 likesI m feeling depressed today. And lazy too
0 likesMy girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me recently. and i got soo sad and depressed since just the other day, when i found out she had cheated on me with a guy a couple days before she broke up with me. Since i found out i have been so down and sad and just "broken" now. I dont know what to do, how to react. Was it my fault? did i fuck up? could i have changed this somehow?
0 likesI get depressed because life is depressing
0 likesU know what fuck it this is late as fuck but I need to rant lmaoo when I'm depressed I don't wanna do anything I don't want to shower, I don't want to get dressed and I always ALWAYS forget these feeling aren't normal it's not normal to not feel anything and I always forget that depression comes in so many ways so I always bring myself down by thinking what if I'm subconsciously faking it what if I'm just really lazy, there's people out there who have it way worse and it's so annoying to have these thought cause it feels like your being invalidated and you never know where to place yourself and it's just ughhhhhh
0 likes"Look how depressed I am" because depression can be seen through what you look like. You're so depressed you made a video about it. Also you've curled your hair because you're so depressed, right? "Ohh it's so bad".
0 likesRick and Morty 🙌🙌🙌
0 likesBlarg blarg, either that was a Rick and Morty reference or just gibberish
0 likesWhy is this so fucking me
0 likesRICK AND MORTY!!!!!!!!!
0 likesgod I love you
0 likesactual sameeee
0 likesReplies (1)
i feel like i can never decribe how i feel when im depressed but it's this. it's literally this.
0 likestrying to earn sympathy like 'i'm so depressed'
0 likes2017. Or the year YouTube goes to shit and more and more youtubers expose their first world problems to their young audience. You're making such a big deal of your 'depression' I doubt you even know what you're talking about.
0 likesReplies (1)
i doubt you know what your talking about
0 likesahh rick and morty at the start YE
0 likesdepression anxiety ptsd sucks beyond words and no one understand any of it unless they are in the same boat.
0 likesAlso it should be illegal to be eat on camera
0 likesI like you so much!
0 likesRICK AND MORTY !
0 likesyour sad not depressed
0 likesyoure so cute. thanks for this insights
0 likesi'd really like to talk to you
0 likesi love you xD
0 likesYou're beautiful
0 likes❤️️❤️️
0 likes0:18 woah
0 likesNice hair
0 likesi don’t give a DAMN..............well I kinda do
0 likesMy state summed up
0 likesNoice video
0 likesGood for you
0 likesI think u are still lucky, u should thanks god. Before i go to the therapist, i can't even eat or walk to the kitchen. I slept on my bed all day, my mom bring food and water to my room and i just ate them a little little litte bit. I lost sooo much weight, my hand fill by a bunch of scars. and i thanks god, because i slowly became better. and at least i'm not kill myself yet... 😊
0 likesGet schwifty dodie
0 likesDid you watch prince EA ?
0 likesMe too
0 likesMe too
0 likesI don’t know what is going on with me
0 likesWhy should you be depressed you are young cute and have a nice home
0 likesDon't go on medication
0 likespathetic! Repeting, I do prefer Hedy's personality.
0 likesthis. is. the. video
1 likethank you
0 likesWeird flex but ok
0 likesim so urghh i feel soooooooooooooooooooo numb. woop.
0 likesWaow a real person who is like the inside of my brain soooo ? This feels fake. too relateable. Wtf brain
0 likesLondon, yay
0 likesYou are so Loved by Jesus
0 likesI thought this was sara
0 likesShe never put a disclaimer
1 likeReplies (2)
Hockeygirl 05 I feel like the title is definitely enough 🤷🏼♀️
2 likesThe video literally says depressed wtf
0 likesYup.
0 likesreads title same
0 likesvert sad video
0 likesAnyone else got recommended to this video?
1 like