I feel depressed today because I’m lonely at school I don’t know why ughhh


'i dont give a dang'

'well, i kinda give a da--"

(ik im late)


I hate being a chemically emotionally student cuz my parents don't get it and I have to go to school everyday and I'm at school nothings going in I'm just writing things that's pointless I hate it so much


I hate depression . I WANT A FUCKING CURE ALREADY.


Try feeling good is not a lie to yourself is yourself trying to be okay

Φωτεινή Σακκά


I sometimes think of the song Youth from Daughter. When I am depressed, I just accept it and do what my Depression tells me to do. It fades away bcs happiness comes back the next day when I finally can fall asleep. I think its wrong to block it, it will just make it worse for yourself

I think it's different for everyone tho when I'm feeling depressed if I think about it I just feel worse and it lasts longer but if I try and distract myself it's like my brain forgets about it? Idk how to describe what I'm thinking 😂


I don’t know who tell that I think I have depression


Can you choose anything else but depression ? And have you chosen something else  ? Have you been successful ? That is the question. You do have a very bleak look on depression .It’s sad to see and hear.  But you sure talk a lot and only if you can take a more positive view instead .


anyone else here from Daniel and Depression?


am i the only one who got this on my recommendation? sign?


I’ve never fucken related to anything in the whole world.


It’s currently day 5 of an intense depression. Not sure what triggered it, I’m just nothing. Anti depressants aren’t working. This is my 7th type of drug. Modern medicine isn’t working. I’m a hair away from dropping out of uni, even though I have 1 single course to complete before I graduate with a maths teaching degree. Maths makes no sense anymore. It’s useless, just like everything else. My psychologist keeps telling me to distract myself. Why would I distract myself from reality. We are all going to die.


U should say '' I'm sad today'' cuz depressed is.. Idk..

Well she was just speaking the truth. She was depressed.


No hate but you are confusing sadness with depression that is a very severe mental illnes

I'm judging without knowing a person's state? Dude you're literally saying that she can't be depressed because she isn't experiencing it in the same way that you are.  Depression isn't the same for every person, she clearly experiences it differently. And I don't think that you believe it's easy to treat, I'm just saying that if it were as simple as being exactly the same across the board, it'd be much easier to come up with solutions for it.

arihana She actualy is confusing it because its not something you have one day and other day you dont it just keeps going every day maybe she is sad but she is not depressed.

Marcela Kawaii she knows it’s a severe mental illness... she has it. She isn’t confusing sadness with depression.

Marcela Kawaii thank god im not the only one


If you think this is what depression looks like you are dull


slay girl, talking about mental illness is so so important. if you're depressed and feel you can't talk as animatedly or factually as dodie don't be scared, it's okay. just sharing alone will help you a tiny bit, hearing other stories will make you feel less alone. sometimes all you can do is remember it is temporary, you aren't alone and there's so many people out there who love you


??? Wtf.  You feel depressed today? Or maybe feel sad today? Depression is a condition, it never goes away... Lol wtf is this shyte.  But I do feel bad how you were feeling sad that day.


When you feel depressed, think about the millions around the world who are starving, cold, miserable, uneducated, powerless, and realise the opportunities and advantages you can enjoy, there, your life isn't so shit after all. Defeat your own ego.


This has helped me so much! You explain yourself/feelings SO well it's amazing. Even though this wasn't your best day you still had so much positivity!!


I literally was crying the whole video,  because this is exactly how i feel.<br>Thank you so much, Dodie for this video.  💕

I literally was crying the whole video,  because this is exactly how i feel.
Thank you so much, Dodie for this video.  💕


Thank you for posting this Dodie. I find this video really comforting for some reason and it's really relaxing to watch, you're such a genuine person and I love that so thank you!


when I'm depressed I watch your videos. They make me smile and I always feel better. Is like I'm not alone anymore, there are people who feel the same. Thank you, Dodie, although you aren't going to see this, for been how you are. I love you


honestly, you have just voiced everything I've always wanted to say for me, and it gives me a release better than anything else has ever given me, thank you so much for this (i'm not saying i am glad you felt that way of course, but I am glad you shared because it has helped so many people and I am so grateful so thank you so so much)


Dodie, this video has helped me so much! You have just put into words exactly what I feel when I'm having one of those bad days and, though I am sorry that you have to go through this, I am also glad that I am not alone in this. Thank you so so much


This video has helped me realize that the emptyness I feel constantly may be depression. It had crossed my mind but I never really related to something so much because people never talk so openly about it. So thank you, Dodie, for being so open. <3


I wish I could articulate my feelings as well as you can. Also, thank you for being open about your mental health. It means a lot to me


Wow, this is the best video I've found to show how I feel when I'm depressed.<br>I really like when people make "in the moment" videos because they are always so much more real and accurate (because no matter how much we remember we always describe bad times differently on good days) and it really shows the truth of the moment.

Wow, this is the best video I've found to show how I feel when I'm depressed.
I really like when people make "in the moment" videos because they are always so much more real and accurate (because no matter how much we remember we always describe bad times differently on good days) and it really shows the truth of the moment.


You put every. single. damn thing I feel when I'm depressed into words. Thank you.


I was diagnosed with severe depression last year, on my down days I feel quite different than this, but eating the random peas was something I could definitely relate to haha. Kudos for making a video about it!

By the way - I cannot recommend SSRIs  highly enough!!! Medication changed my life, it made my ups more frequent and my downs more bearable and less debilitating.


I watch this video over and over again in my depression state just because i feel like you're the only one i can relate to and that makes me feel slightly better. love you <3


I relate with every word in this, I love you dodie and I wish you the best


i just came across this video and its crazy that literally everything i have ever felt when I'm having a bad day and feeling depressed you put into words so perfectly. sometimes it makes me feel more hopeless and lost because i don't even know how to explain how I'm feeling but you do it so well, thank you for this video


This made me feel better actually, I have to keep remembering that depression isn't just my curse and that we have a community of us all wanting to die together


I feel like you're the only person who's ever described how I felt perfectly in terms of depersonalisation and how life in the past felt vivid and full of colour and now the world literally feels fake. It's scary and I hate it.


I always watch this video when my depression kicks in, it's a kind of relief (in the strangest way) to know that someone else's feels the way you do. It decreases that loneliness by the tiniest bit but I'd rather that than not at all


This is a really helpful video for me on days when I'm feeling depressed <3


I send people this video whenever I can't explain how I'm feeling because this 100% sums it up. I love you and thank you for making me feel less alone.


I feel exactly the same way, sometimes I just need to here it from someone else. Obviously I'm still not cheered up after this vid but it helped me with the whole "you aren't actually alone, you just feel isolated"


Dodie, you are so inspirational and brave to put this out on the internet. I could never understand what you were going through then, and I accept that, but I could see that even though it must have been so hard, you are smiling, laughing slightly, cracking jokes on and off. That. Is. Incredible. You go girl!


This was super eye-opening and just THANK YOU for talking about how it feels...


I've been diagnosed and I'm SOO happy someone can put it into words


Damn I love videos like these, honestly. I'm not diagnosed but I've been thinking that I'm having depression since a couple years. If I wasn't already thinking that, this Video would've probably been the moment where I'd realize it bc I can absolutely identify with it: Sometimes I wake up and just know that today I won't be doing anything but nothing and laying around. This neverending boredom, this emptiness, this "It's alright tomorrow it'll be okay again" stuff - I know it too. Thanks for making this video. It helps others to realize that they're not alone with their problems and that they most likely have depression - It's so good and relieving to finally find an answer to the question "why do I feel like this (again)?"


It makes me feel so comfortable to know that other people are going through the same things I'm going through


I watch this everytime I'm questioning whether I'm alone in a shotty situation because this video gives me a sense of comradery


This video is so honestly brutal. And I love dodie so much for making this. Sending love


I love how real this video. This is completely the way I feel as well


This is the most accurate thing ever i love you so much and thank you for this, stay strong❤


This is the most accurate video I have watch in my entire life 💟thank you xx


Thank you ..for well making this video, it makes me feel not so alone after all 💙


I actually have depression and everything you said is exactly how I feel.


I still enjoyed listening to you. I feel the same as you do. That's how depression is. You Described it perfect. So it was good to listen to you. I got a blood test to and nothing showed up.


Great video. Like you said at the beginning... it's okay to be depressed anyone who doesn't experience it at sometime in their life is probably lying. That probably doest make sense and I have probably said probably WAY too many times but it is OKAY! X ❤


I appreciate that you can put these feelings in to words. For those of us who can't figure out what to say.


Never ever could explain how exactly how I felt but she said it 100% perfect . Especially the checking in the morning part. I feel like I don't see life the same. Can relate 1000%.


what i always find best for when im feeling down is to just let it happen instead of trying to make myself happy. if i just let my depression/sadness free flow, then i feel like it'll be over a lot sooner.


I really hope you are feeling better, thanks for posting this I feel it helps somehow, I hope it helps you ❤


This was the video that introduced me to Dodie. This is the one that made me practically fall in love with her.

Her mind and spirit.

I love both bc she's so real and honest about how something's affecting her.

Her openness to speak made me love her.

The fact that she shared her mind with us was what initially made me love her.

So I couldn't understand at first how people could find the reason I love her, as a reason NOT TO love her.

But I guess some people just can't filter out what they hear and not let it cloud their thoughts.


I've had depression for as long as I can remember. Some days are okay. Some are horrid. It's a complete and heavy numbness. Everything feels like a dream. Floaty, and unreal.


I like how you ate peas in pods for snack.

You've inspired me greatly


dodie. i am truly so sorry you have to deal with dp / dr , i know how you feel and its horrible. nothing feels real, i just want to say thank you , you make me feel normal


this is everything ive ever wanted to say and so much more. I just found your channel today and I love you already.  A little over two years ago I was diagnosed w depression and anxiety (fun amirite ladies) and um i kinda fucked up my life and a year behind in school now and a good day is rare but amazing. idk youre never gonna read this but in the past hour i have watched so many of your videos and its given me a little bit of hope. a little bit of hope that things will be okay eventually, and i could never repay you.


New subscriber! There's something calm about you. I like how you seem true to yourself. It's refreshing! :) Looking forward to watching more of your vids


I am so depressed today. This helps me cope. I'm not the only one, and this video helps me remember that.


This video is actually very relatable, thank you


I can relate to all of this. Including the watching Rick and Morty bit at the beginning. Most days I can smile through the pain and be okay, whatever that means, some days I just can't. It doesn't hurt, it just feels like nothing, but then I realize that I feel like nothing and I hate myself.


even though Dodie has no idea who i am i feel like she's the older sister i never had ♡


Dear Dodie,
Thank you:
For pulling me out of the most dark lonely and horrible time of my life,
For teaching me to accept my indifferences,
For making these videos that make me  realise I am as normal as everyone else,
For letting me know it is okay to love whoever I want to,
For being your lovely, beautiful and talented self.
 Many thanks
Sylvie


yep, that's how it is for me. these depression episodes suck, but thanks for helping me feel less alone ~


I'm really proud that you could actually
Make yourself something to eat

When I'm depressed I don't make myself food etc...


Her hair is just making me smile because she is completely okay with how she looks at the moment


I've never heard anyone quite be able to put across how depressive days feel like the most glum and grey days in the world the way Dodie has here. It's like a someone has drained the milkshake out of a cup and just left you with an empty container. I really hope that things start to improve for Dodie and anyone else struggling with this soon. It sucks. I've been there too much and too often, but still managing to find a path to slightly better things. In fact I'm doing a mental health recovery series on my channel is anyone wants to check it out, I do one specifically about depression here: https://youtu.be/2iIphv1vGeE
Have a good day everyone, and if it's not a good just have a day that's okay too. Keep fighting ❤


I understand how Dodie feels. There are just those moments where you wake up and feel like you are not yourself and you're not functioning correctly. I feel that way today and other days. There are sometimes when I just want to be by myself in my room but I'm not depressed then. But there are other times when I don't want to do anything and not deal with anyone and that's when I'm depressed.


I've only experienced depersonalisation/derealization once, and it was absolutely horrible. It lasted for a week or two, and it got so scary I had a terrible panic attack and my mum took me to the doctor because I kept insisting that something was really wrong in my brain (I didn't know what it was back then). Thankfully it went away after the attack was over, but damn, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.


perfectly explained of what it feels like


Recently, I've been going through a lot of stress, panic and sadness over so many things. Two of my closest friends have ditched me, and they were even talking about every tiny thing they hate about me on an Instagram livestream. I clicked on it, thinking "Oh I love their live streams!" They didn't see I had joined it, so they continued talking. Then, when they finally saw I was there, they said, "OH SCREW THE B!TCH IS HERE!"
Then, it ended.
I'm panicking about secondary school, constantly. I can't have detention. I have dance every night. I MUST remember my books, but I'll spend a whole morning checking I have them. I HAVE to remember to eat something, and not spend my lunch break reading, researching or doing homework. I'm terrified of having fun, because I might forget to do something. I don't want to get lost, I have tests on the first day back. I keep trying to change my mind set, but I can't. Whenever I want to talk to my parents about it, I freeze up... It's not depression. I know it isn't. I doubt it's anxiety. I don't know what it is. It's just constant fear of rejection and doing things wrong...


I can relate to everything you're saying.


Your videos remind me of the old days on YouTube where people just talked to a camera about themselves. I LOVE it! Are you still dealing with depersonalization/derealization? I get the same way you do while depressed, I just don't care about anything and want to sleep forever.

"I've felt drunk the last 4 years of my life..." hahah. 😭

okay nvm, you answered it in the video. gee I'm so sorry :( I feel the same way, I'm so happy someone understands, but I'm so terribly sorry you understand.


I thought I was the only one who felt this way 😭


Holy shit holy shit holy shit. I feel the same way. I've always thought it was just me. I don't understand what this feeling is, or how to conquer it, but it's similar to what you're talking about. I don't feel like I'm fully awake, or alive. I feel like my mind and body are just waiting for something that I don't know anything about, and it's driving me to be emotionless, and tired all the time. I'm only 13, and my parents aren't very understanding, at all, so I don't talk to them about personal stuff. I feel like I need to be somewhere else all the time, and all my emotions are there at the place I don't know. My parents won't sign me up for help, so I have no one to talk to.


It makes me so sad that you're depressed and sad because you're so amazing and don't deserve to have depression


Watching this whilst crying and eating peas 👌


I thought that no one understands me and that it can't be that bad, I can't have depression. But after hearing you talking about makes me think that maybe it's more than just feeling down. I can get myself up from that if it's light and not very deep but for some time I couldn't even stop crying to get to the next class and I went home tears rapidly going everywhere, snot all over my facd because I didn't have a paper with me. It was horrible, nothing felt real, everything is weird because how in the hell do people have brains and they do stuff like invent and discover electricity. Existential stuff was thightly stuck to that same thing. And for the first time I feel that it might be normal, that it can happen and I can find love and happiness and that someone understands me. I wish I had a friend like you, you are amazing. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you


I come back to this video so much. Right now I'm in a very bad place. I've been on meds for months, none of them are working. It feels like there's no getting out of this. And I'm very sick of peoples "it will get better!" viewpoint. Obviously it is nice to hear that, even if you don't believe it. But sometimes I just need to know someone has truly felt what I feel, and I'm not alone. So then I come to dodie.


God I feel this entire video. My down days are like this, but with more wallowing and laughing at my pityfull crying.


Hey, I feel you're talking about Brain Fog more than depression, since I had each of them on its own and I had them together, they're different, but I can be depressed and sad while having a clear head! That's why I am talking about Brain Fog, as also I can get foggy in the days when I felt good.


I woke up today and I was like.. so happy and in a second everything changed and it just turned from feeling happy to feeling so so sad and like, with no point and I just didn't know what to do and I felt ..nothing but when I watched your video I just.. I still feel like, nothing but.. at least I don't feel alone.


I wish more than anything that I could talk with you about DP/DR. I've had it since July 2015, but I've learned so much about it, and about myself with it, and I've developed such an appreciation for it and where I am now in life because of it. I still suffer with it, and have some days so much worse than others, but I don't ever get depressed about it. (just for other unexplainable reasons), and I don't ever panic anymore about it. I haven't had a DP/DR related panic attack in so long. I'd love to just chat about this. I'd love to try to help a little. Much love and light to you dear Dodie. <3


Today I found your channel. It's like a ray of sunshine. 🌼🐌


This is actually me this entire summer and still am. I have been a huge ball of depression and, sadly, depression makes me a bit bitchy because I'm mad at myself for not being like I normally am. Thus, this makes me bitchy to other people. Depression sucks so much!


same. I think I've gotten depression over this summer. Emotionless, numb, and everything is anxious physically. But emotionally I'm just nothing. I don't even know anymore. I gotta go drink some tea.


I remember like... 3 years ago? I was reading this fantasy book about a world where once you turn 16 you get surgery to look like a beautiful perfect version of yourself, and the main character find out once she got the surgery that her and all these people were being kind of drugged to make themselves duller, kind of uncomprehending of the world? And then she and her friend found out once that when they didnt eat their (drugged) food, after a while when their hunger really kicked in they suddenly had  this moment where it felt like a layer of cellophane was peeling from their eyes and they could see and understand everything clearly and be in the moment and that really stuck with me and it also the moment im waiting for


Would it be okay if I wrote down what she's says and give it to my doctor? I just can't articulate how I feel and this describes it perfectly. That wouldn't be like plagiarism would it? I'm not sure how that works.


I wanted to comment on your "will I feel spaced out in the future?" video but I can't find it :(. I felt spaced-out most of my 20's, alot of times after eating. Iron deficiency can do that, or low sugar. But after I was 26, it went away. Weird. Hope it goes away for you too. The feeling of "Reality" is very sweet, and addicting, like you always want to feel it again, but it really is fleeting (for me, anyhow). Your spirit is good, and you are loved by MANY. I will look forward to more videos from you. You are the part of the Glue that keeps humanity together, you really are, <3.


This 100% just described my past two weeks. Last week everything was so good and then yesterday I started feeling, well nothing. and today was just straight up hell. it feels like I'm not fully awake, I just wanna not be here. Everything seems hopeless and colorless. I don't bother trying anymore and it feels like it's never going to get better. it will tho, and I know that. but right now it just feels like nothing. and that has made my anxiety worse. my eyes will start stinging and I just blink a lot and it's hard to look someone in their eyes.
I kinda wanna talk to a theraphist and maybe even get some medication. but my mom doesn't belive me and won't take me. she only makes jokes about it.
Ik that sounded super depressing but, I had to get it out somewhere


No one's state should naturally be the way you felt but sadly, that is mine and then some. Hope you feel better soon!


You know your depressed when your watching rick and morty and at the same time having an existential crisis


having depression is like you’re constantly going through a really bad break up


Wow you are SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERSON INSIDE OUT✨


Me: am I depressed, what's happening!

Reality: oh wait it's my anxiety and I'm due for my period tomorrow....

But what she said in this video is still accurate for me


I love you. You are going to be okay. I am depressed a lot. But it is ok. You will get through this.


Sometimes I just..lie in my bed. Curtains closed. Door locked. No light. And I just lie there.

For the whole day.


you are so beautiful and i am sure that i have never been more in love with a person before


When she claps is it Morse code? Or just clapping? :) it's really cute!!


I so get you dodieeeeeeeee<br>I really bloody needed this video

I so get you dodieeeeeeeee
I really bloody needed this video


DUDE THIS IS SO RELATABLE. MOSTLY THE PAST THING!


I feel like there is a giant black and blue pit in my chest and things just fall into it, and it feels all heavy but empty and hurts but also numb and I have lived with this pit for five years. Some days I feel okay, others I don't and I keep telling myself that I will feel good again but it is hard to forget that I will also feel bad again.


i'm in college  now my second year and i always feel this way when i'm far away from home i wasn't that happy back in morocco but not as the same way here i tried everything weed alcohol i even tried extasie  the day before today but it messed me up so much you can't even imagine fodd doesn't make me feel better going out either and i try so hard to open up to my friends but they don't fucking understand and think that m just sad or making stuff up honestly no idea what they think about me i didn't go to school this week and i feel so bad about it i really need help but i don't know where can i get it


so I literally just found this channel and already it's the most relatable thing ever. and when I say 'just found' I mean like 2 minutes ago.<br>also it's 2 am so can you tell how far up I am on the fuck-my-life-o-meter? (I'm sorry this comment is such a mess idk what I'm doing anymore)

so I literally just found this channel and already it's the most relatable thing ever. and when I say 'just found' I mean like 2 minutes ago.
also it's 2 am so can you tell how far up I am on the fuck-my-life-o-meter? (I'm sorry this comment is such a mess idk what I'm doing anymore)


IF YOU'RE DEPPRESED LISTEN TO SYRTAKI MUSIC ! IT REALLY HELPS !


Holy shit i think im depressen too.<br>And not just from this video too.

Holy shit i think im depressen too.
And not just from this video too.


I thought depression was a state of being, not an emotion.


this is exactly what I say people, this is exactly how I feel... but people don't seem to understand somehow


When ever i ask my parents to get me tested for depression they just say i want attention or that im not trying to be happy. I havnt left my room in days because i just dont have the strength to do anything. My parents get mad at me for feeling depressed. And when my mum gets mad, she hits me. I used to self harm and my dad yelled at me while my mum just said "I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed" when they found out. It sucks feeling unloved and like you don't belong. But its even worse when you cant do anything about it.


I don't know why I'm sad all the time now. Im perfectly fine when I'm with other people but as soon as I'm home by myself in my room I get so sad and tired not sleepy just tired. I don't think I'm depressed I just am sad. I don't want to do anything anymore because it's not the same. I don't know why I just am


you just explain pretty much "me" in six mins and forty five seconds


Depression is just from thoughts negative thoughts i get depression and I try to overcome it


I am crying right now because I typed "am I depressed" on the search and found your vid. It is so relatable...I am in bed. I work night shifts, 12 hour at a time. My next one is coming over the weekend. I hope I will drag myself out of bed and join a spinning class in about 2 hours. It is now 4 pm, I woke up around 3 AM and all I did is eat and slip back to bed and feel like crying, and guilt af....Love from the States. No, I don't have active suicidal ideations but sometimes, I feel like "not existing" would be much better.


I watch this video on my depressing days


Idk when I get really really bad I dissociate and everything feels cold and and empty and hazy and I'm so tired I just have to lay down on the floor because it feels like my body is being crushed by some sort of freezing cold fog :( anyways I'm with u dod we'll get better together also meds are helpful


You know what? I won't skip the ad to cheer you up a bit


I felt depressed after going through a heartbreak. I'm ok now but I tear up periodically and freeze up whenever it crosses my mind. It ruined me during my finals for the end of the year. I couldn't think of anything except him shattering my heart into a million pieces. I felt like I was mourning a death. I couldn't read, because my brain could not process words when thoughts and memories of him flooded my mind. Smiling felt like a chore, unnatural and weird for a while. And when I would see him in the halls, I felt like I was walking on invisible stairs. I felt like I was going to fall down. My breathing and heart rate quickened, and I had uncontrollable shakes. I felt like an elephant had decided to pull up a chair and take a seat on my chest. I felt actual pain in my heart, and I'm not trying to be poetic here. I still need help and it's been three months. At least I can distract myself now. I don't feel the intense pain, but I do long for him periodically. I sound crazed, don't I? I hate how I feel this way towards another person and he didn't care enough to let me down easy. It surely implies many things about his character, but I can't shake the thought that I still feel like I am in love with him. I feel betrayed and lost. Dodie, you understand, right?


I feel like I'm the only one who blames my constant cycle of sadness and worry on hormones... because these days everytime you're young and crying in front of someone, it's hormones. Or maybe it's just me being brainwashed into thinking it is.


'I'm depressed today so I'm going to to complain to my preteen audience'


I'm feeling the same right now and it's fucking horrible, terrible and i hate everything.
Thanks for this video dodie...
Fucking life, fucking brain


I honestly can't tell if I'm depressed or not because it's just the same all the time. I'm unmotivated, and I fell this almost physically painful pressure on my chest that won't go away. I don't know. I just don't want to feel it anymore.

I'm sorry I don't know why I decided to make this about me. Sorry. I'm done


wait dodie!! Do you also have thyroid problems?? Bc I have an under active thyroid (hashimoto's disease) and derealize like all the time and maybe there's a connection?


0:28 is me when I tell my friend not to go back to her trash boyfriend and she does it anyways. Then she comes back crying


i know this is not really the topic but how does she just warm the peas up in the microwave? can you do this? lmao im so sorry but it looked so tasty


It's hard to be depressed as a teen, even harder than it is already, because people will keep saying "it's just a teenage depression, get over yourself, in a few days you'll feel better". like they're not even trying to understand that I sometimes feel sad or angry because of hormones and some days I will feel like the most worthless piece of crap on this planet, like I'm a tiny, sad speck in a giant space, weighed down to the ground, forced to do nothing, forced to stay low and keep walking even though I want to break down and cry. I've had an argument recently with two of my "friends" and it was over text and they kept accusing me of things and I tried to say stop it, you can't even see what you are doing. They didn't see how I was crying my eyes out, not being able to breathe, not being able to think anything except for "you're worthless. they are right. you are a terrible person." I said to one of them "do you know what you are doing right now" and she said "yeah, you're having a breakdown" and kept cutting me with accusations and insults. She said id casually, too. Like "who cares if you have a breakdown, I want to say this to you right now, you need to understand how mad I am at you". I ended up calling another friend and calmed myself down, but the feeling wasn't gone. It always takes at least a full night to get rid of the feeling. But this time I know it won't go away completely.


I dunno what it is, people irritate me so quickly, i dont smile, i struggle to enjoy things, i wanna be in bed all day and i wear my headphones for probably about 5 hrs a day. I always see the bad side of things and lately ive been panicking about a lot of pointless things


She was watching rick and morty ❤ i love her so much


Omg 4:16 to 4:31 is how I feel most of the time and I absolutely hate it. Does anyone know how to help me feel happiness and how to have fun again. It's like I'll have days where nothing will cheer me up. For example 2016 Christmas I didn't feel excited at all and it felt wrong 😪😭


I live in a a very sexist environment, I'm a teenage girl and a huge feminist, but no matter how many battles I fight within my friends, family, and teachers, trying to just show them I'm not helpless. I've been shamed for my period, harassed for my sexuality, a boy even threatened to  raped many times. But when I try to reach out for help, try to get some justice, I'm told it's me just being dramatic, it's hormones. It's my fault. I'm at war with myself. Some parts of me tell me to let it go, or that I am being dramatic, other parts are screaming to get up and do something, and others just want to hide in my bed, and cry. I think I'm depressed, but then again, maybe I am being dramatic. I'm so painfully aware of my existence that I've lost who I am. Now I'm just a dark collage of voices in my mind that bicker and yell like children. Ha, I guess they are right, I am dramatic, look at that sentence I just wrote.

Help


I can feel like Dodie sometimes but I don't really know if I have depression. I don't really say "hey, I have this mental illness!!" because I'm not sure. Sometimes I can feel like my whole body is heavy, I don't want to do anything, I don't shower, I eat just because I have too but I don't enjoy the food. When I'm actually sad the first thing I can think of is "I want to kill myself". I almost had eating desorders, too. I don't feel comfortable in places with lot of people, or parties, but if I don't go I feel really sad because I think I'm just letting my teenager years go away. I'm not even sure about this but I think one time I had a panic attack (And I say I'm not sure because I don't really know how it is supposed to feel). I keep a lot of things for myself, I don't tell my family and it makes me feel like shit but I feel that if I say something I'll fuck everything up. I have lots of insecurities with my body, with my face, with my personality. Sometimes I feel like I only am here to make people feel bad. I don't know if this is normal (I'm 15 years old) or if it is depression. I remember being sad since I was 8 because I didn't have more than one friend, I had this girl who I think hated me, and when I grew up people (even my friend) will make fun of me for my body. Then my friend made another friend and since I was 12 I'm feeling like this, but every time is worse. I'm not the kind of person who just talks about it, but I feel like I need help.


YOU CAN GET FROZEN EDAMAME? BIIIITTTCH, I need some lol


Idk if I'm depressed, broken or just being dramatic.<br>Since I started back at school (year 10) I constantly feel like everyone is judging me and everyone hates me and I just feel rly self conscious all the bloody time and especially this past week I feel like I've just sort of flatlined emotionally and I'm emotionally drained I just can't focus or do anything productive and I'm stressing about my future like 'am I going to fail my GCSEs?' 'am I taking the right GCSEs?' and 'wtf am I going to do in my future?' one of the worst things is that it's my birthday in almost a week (Oct 2nd wahey) and I don't feel up to having a party or at the very least celebrating with close friends and now I'm just waffling on please send help and if you've read all of this then congratubloodylations you now know wayyyy too much about my sad broken little life I'm sorry 🙃

Idk if I'm depressed, broken or just being dramatic.
Since I started back at school (year 10) I constantly feel like everyone is judging me and everyone hates me and I just feel rly self conscious all the bloody time and especially this past week I feel like I've just sort of flatlined emotionally and I'm emotionally drained I just can't focus or do anything productive and I'm stressing about my future like 'am I going to fail my GCSEs?' 'am I taking the right GCSEs?' and 'wtf am I going to do in my future?' one of the worst things is that it's my birthday in almost a week (Oct 2nd wahey) and I don't feel up to having a party or at the very least celebrating with close friends and now I'm just waffling on please send help and if you've read all of this then congratubloodylations you now know wayyyy too much about my sad broken little life I'm sorry 🙃


I am here to join you in this depression. So we are one in two ways of fucked


I just had I a fight with my step dad and now I'm crying in my room I never want to come out.


Why do I just want to cry and cry and cry and cry...


I know what im feeling but at the same time i cant help but think im over reacting and it will be over soon but when i waje up everyday i know its not over and i dont think a normal person would climb intp a closet to have a panic attack because the person in rhe next room is shouting but maybe im just being crazy or making myself believe but how could i do that and if i was then it wouldnt constantly be on my mind like i feel nothingness and emptiness and confusion but im just not working like i used to and i jyst wish i wasnt so crazy but im kibda half diagnosed cause im not talking to anyone but i have been reffered but wgat if it jyst stops. Does thst mean that im attention seeking. I dobt kmow anymore. I jyst want to be nornal tbh...


Saying to go see a therapist.. but what if your parents just say "You'll be alright, you're over exaggerating".. then I can't really see a therapist


Good video but I just really hate how in the title she put "today" even though depression is a condition.


I now this is a old video but I feel the same way I fell like I have depersonalization but I'm young and can't tell my parents we are old fashion and I expect therapy to be expensive and I'm poor so I deal with it


i don't understand depression<br>and i've had depression since i was 8?

i don't understand depression
and i've had depression since i was 8?


can someone tell me what shes eating pleeeeease!!!!


okay no matter how weird this is gonna sound, but I'm just gonna say: Satan is a father of lies.
who has eyes, let them see. probably does not make sense at all, I get that, (it never used to make sense to me in the past either), but it hopefully will make sense, and it will make even a rainy, depressed day into an amazing day. (:
What we all feel (and I bet we all have "these" days - some of us less often then the others) is one great lie. We weren't made to feel that way. We weren't made to think that way. We were created for something bigger than that, for something bigger than we could ever understand.
have a great day


don't check, because every illness cares what you think

my name is blurryface and i care what you think

you keep feeding it

just try to not think about it


Im 11 I have clinical depression the 4 types of anxiety and have had suicidal thoughts


@doddlevloggle "Twinkle twinkle tear drops ...They all are sparkling around your eyes...drawing its mark down your cheeks...Most beautiful of which is your honestiness ..." nothing but xo...xo...xo <3 :)


You are really weird. But I really like you.


ITs JuST horMOnEs
ItS Just part Of groWiNg uppp

lol nah aunt helen, i have depression


I don't want to be me and I'm ashamed of that but I can't do this anymore. It depresses me but I don't have 'depression' . Ugh what am I even doing I just want attention


I kind of relate with her😶😐😑😐😞😟😤😡😣😳😛😎😐😑😐😑😒😯😵😭😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭😡😡😡😡😆😆😆 my mood right now


I am depressed and i worry so much and im scared my friend will try to hang himself again and im sorry this comment makes you sad. I don’t know what to do with myself and most days i feel nothing. Like I am nothing. I don’t want to die because my family could never recover but I want to stop existing for a while

Smooth jazz frog I’m here if you want to talk. I’m here for you. I don’t want you going through this alone.


Omg the morning is the worst for me cause I just want to cry and go back to sleep


Although I am not diagnosed with depression, I love how openly you can speak about hard times. Thank you Dodie. ❤


The way you articulate this is amazing!!  The part about happy mind and depressed mind not having empathy for each other...wow...resonated deep with me x


"I just feel this constant longing for something and I'm not getting it." That's exactly that. You've described absolutely perfectly what I feel (If I can talk about feeling anything at all). I've been dealing with depression for years and that's hard. I love those kind of videos. Thank you for sharing what you feel: makes me feel less lonely.


Thank you for this explanation. I've always wanted to know what depression was like and I've wanted to understand it more.


I didn't know what depression really was and I thought I've been having just more sad days but this video describes me and my life... thanks 🙏🏼 maybe this will help - me and more people to get more educated and get help 🙏🏼 stay strong xx


Literally, this is the first video about depression that I have found that truly describes depression without it being over the top or emotional, or anything like that. I love this. Thank you


I feel you sisss. I also think you're the bravest person I know for being so open at your channel and let us see the genuine you. I like you :) You're awesome. B'bye!


I am so glad I am not alone. Thank you for your candid and relatable conversation about this terrifying and debilitating mental illness.


Omg dodie I feel you, this is so relatable. Sometimes I just lay in bed feeling like a lump. Hope u are okay. ❤


This is such an important video. I have felt exactly like that for the past month but I just brush it off thinking I can't be depressed, I don't have real reason to be depressed. You being so open helps so many people.


When you said "I just feel this constant longing for something, and I'm not getting it." That completely resonates with me. I feel this practically all the time. Wow.. I might be depressed. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to show a tough day. You helped me see that I may possibly be depressed. So thank you


i watch this every time i feel depressed and it honestly resonates with me so deeply


I appreciate you. It feels like no one understands until they speak on it. Spreading awareness and helping stop the stigma all with your voice, you did that.  Take it day by day baby!!!!


This was actually calming and nice to watch because it gives me a sense of not being alone in what I feel.


I'm going through this exact thing again. Last time I watched this I was on the upswing, and now I'm on the way way downswing. But this helped. When I get like this I feel alien and in a foreign land no matter what I do, but this made me feel slightly less alien. So thank you.


you're wonderful
i teared up cause that's exactly how i feel sometimes and struggling with that in such a young age is terrible
i luv ya
you inspire me to be someone better every day
i started to sing cause of you
and was encouraged to follow my dream cause of you
again
you're wonderful


This video made me feel so less alone. Much appreciated. Do hope you're feeling better though.


Wow this was amazing to see. To know someone else feels this way. That I'm not alone when I'm like this. Which is like all the time. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing 💛

-mariah


I hope you're feeling better. Sending much love your way!!


Omfg yes. The difference between the chemical and emotional depression. I mean I know in reality they coincide but HOLY FUCK I've been looking for too long at how to describe the difference properly. You put it...EXACTLY into words. Thank you dodie. Love you and hope you all the best💖✨


i keep coming back to this video because its so relatable. There are days in which i feel so unmotivated and messy, but im glad im not the only who goes through this.


So many things about this video is so perfect. I needed this to know I wasn't the only one. I can't thank you enough for that.


you're very good at expressing your emotions, it's actually quiete impressive


Damn you just put everything what I feel into WORDS !!woah


now this, is how you can put it into words. I never thought it was possible, but you did it


Wow, even when you're depressed you are so precious and you still care.<br>I have had my first bouts and experiences with depression over the past 3 years I would say. I feel alot better now, but I still have moments that are similar to what you described. It is bizarre to feel this way, when for years I never did. And I can relate to you when you were saying I want to go back, or I remember when I was content like every day for a really long time. Where did that go? The weird thing for me now is it is like a roller coaster. I have days where I feel amazing and everything runs smooth and I have so much energy and go all day and other days where I feel like I can't do anything. It is so strange to me. Anyhow. I do anything and everything to stay UP. Looking after ourselves is SO important. I love that you were eating green beans while you're depressed. That to me is huge.  It means you still care about yourself

Wow, even when you're depressed you are so precious and you still care.
I have had my first bouts and experiences with depression over the past 3 years I would say. I feel alot better now, but I still have moments that are similar to what you described. It is bizarre to feel this way, when for years I never did. And I can relate to you when you were saying I want to go back, or I remember when I was content like every day for a really long time. Where did that go? The weird thing for me now is it is like a roller coaster. I have days where I feel amazing and everything runs smooth and I have so much energy and go all day and other days where I feel like I can't do anything. It is so strange to me. Anyhow. I do anything and everything to stay UP. Looking after ourselves is SO important. I love that you were eating green beans while you're depressed. That to me is huge.  It means you still care about yourself


The best advice I give myself when I try so hard to feel like I did before is, allow yourself to feel this way, it's ok to not feel ok, and then I let myself sleep more, not shower, not go outside and everything I feel like doing. Maybe it'll help not to think you have to fix how you feel just let it be, it's ok, it's good it's part of being you.


Dodie. I love ur music and u!! I love who u are and what ur about. U remind me of myself so much. I feel exactly how ur feeling everyday and I am only 14. I don't know what's real anymore and I feel blind. I have help but it feels like it's going to take 1 billion years to "fix" me. I just want u to know that I know how u feel and everything u are going through is the same as me. Love u dodie ❤


After watching this video I went to my kitchen and got myself a nice cup of ice water and took out some healthy food(mangoes, celery, tomatoes) because you were eating some of those green things and it made my insides feel good. So I went and ate some good stuff and I'm feeling much better now. Thank you.


You put it into words, this is my everyday state. And it's nice to know someone understands.


Oh my god this video makes me feel like I'm not alone. Like you have no idea how much this is helping me out. I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I'm so sick of people saying that it's hormones or mood swings and it's really annoying and ugh I'm so sick of all of this


dont know but my eyes are tearing , thank you for explaining how I feel , I'm bad at expressing my feelings , that depressed me the most no one could understand what's in my head , hope you have a good day 💜


Okay, so this is my first time watching your videos and i can honestly say that this is me a lot.  I understand you.  I subscribed because i relate to you like so hard lmao.


Thank you for this summary. It's like that. I love when people can get real sometimes..


I honestly needed this video rn because it shows that I'm not alone in the position I'm in. Thank you Dodie for making me feel less alone with how I feel and with my depression. Thank you so so much and I know you wont see this but we all loe and appreciate you and are happy to have you alive, thanks for all that you do!!! stay safe and look after yourself <3


Feeling like you are not getting the full picture of life is a very good description that I have never heard before but I can relate to that feeling!


When I get as low as you talk about here, I put no expectations on myself, I just think in the moment, and listen to my favourite music while I wait to sleep so my mind won't start to wander or get stressed out. X


I just now found your channel and I love it because you're honest and not faking your appearance for others. I love you ^^ for being yourself <3 stay strong


oh man, that was good. very well depicted. that's how I feel a few days a week.


It's so nice that you post these things and don't just show people the best parts of your life, you are actually real and share your low points and show us that it's okay to be open about these things. I love you so much aaahh ❤


i still watch this to this day and makes me feel related to someone


I always feel like this around the first and last parts of a school year. Along with the middle of the year when I'm not motivated for anything. I don't want to leave my room. I don't want to talk to my family. I don't know why, and it sucks.


This video puts into words every single thing I've been thinking about, but never knew how to articulate. Wow. I just, I'm so happy you're willing to be so transparent about things like this, cause a lot of times people (like me) just try to repress it which just makes it worse, and listening to people (like you) talk about it without trying to hide anything means so much. I can't put into words how thankful I am for this video, and It makes me feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you Dodie:)


Glad I made it through ❤ my therapist was the worst.


i'm really glad you made this video because i don't feel as alone


ITS IN WORDS. Kinda nice to know that it's not just me that feels this way.


i love this video. it makes me feel better about having bad depressed days. like i shouldn't make myself feel worse for having a bad day i should just keep trying and i should remember that i was happy and i can be happy i again.


whenever i imagine what it mist have been like for people to be depressed before people had discovered what it was/that it was a real mental disorder, a chemical imbalance at that, i can't help but think about how a hundred years from now people are going to be getting full proper treatment for things we still cant really understand/fix (like depersonalization) and are gonna look back at those of us suffering rn and say, "wow, cant imagine how they managed." stay strong.


HUNNY! I have been dealing with this for quite some time, same thing you have described. Except mine sort of sprung up out of smoking weed (which i will never do again). But i have learned to do the things that scare me, to put myself in situations where i fear i am going to feel the worst, just so i can truthfully remind myself that i am in control. Recently ive been trying to put my phone down more. It makes me feel like i am here on earth more than in my head. So often it feels like no one understands where my head is at, not even me, but ive found comfort in realizing that there are people, like yourself, who share the same feelings as me. I am not alone. Most of the time its like the air around me is thick, like the world and this life are parts of a video game where my emotions are raging and are never all in one place at one time, as if they have the control of me. At its peak i begin to question my own existence, am i here?, is this really me?, where am i?, and thoughts like those are the most frightening. Try to touch things when you feel that way, sometimes i close my eyes and i actually feel like i can see and feel things more clearly, which i understand sounds odd, but these are some things that have helped me. Ive never understood mental illness until i contracted one. Life is outta hand, so messy and painful, confusing and beautiful, but you just have to know somewhere deep inside of you that you will come out of it. Know that you will get out of it, and you are never all that far from feeling "real". You are real and beautiful, and there is an unbelievable harsh reality that depersonalization brings with it, but i am happy to have seen life through this lens, it has taught me immense things about myself. Anyways, i could go on for days about this, but i love the person you are, you inspire me, and you are not alone.


Dodie, I love you so, so much <b>sends hugs and love and cups of tea</b> <3 xxx

Dodie, I love you so, so much *sends hugs and love and cups of tea* <3 xxx


Wow I love this so much! So honest. If anyone wants to check out a spoken word I wrote on my depression, it's on my channel. I need to post the other poem I wrote before that one as well!


I never ever tought I would be depressed or something like that but this video opened my eyes. Maybe there is something wrong with my brain....


I understand this so much! I went down so much I went into the hospital


That's exactly how i am when im depressed. There's days where im at my happiest and i feel like everything is gonna be okay and the next day i just feel like im in a black hole. and it seems like nothing is gonna get me out and i have the same feeling of needing something but not knowing what i need and its frustrating because it seems like nothing is ever gonna help and I feel so empty inside that I just lay there, not doing anything but lay there and stare at my wall and be clouded with my thoughts. Im not writing this so people can pity me but im writing it so people know they aren't alone and that depression is something real not a "trend". So  for the people who fake being depressed because you think its "cool". Im glad YOU can "turn off" your depression whenever you please.


I woke up one day and realized I hadn't felt depressed in months. I hadn't struggled with depression long-term.... so I don't think this will be the case for everyone. But it happened to me. I don't remember it happening... or why or how but I just realized it hadn't been a thing in a really long time. Since then I still get the odd day that can be accurately described by the events in this video... but it's rare. Hopefully that gives some people hope.


wow...I haven't known this channel for long but looking at her other videos it is so different...I've never seem her like this all gloomy and down never even heard her swear and, I just saw another side to her.


when I get depressed it feels like there's a heavy cloud in my head


Just the state of my room when I'm depressed compared to when I'm healthy is so so different. Food wrappers everywhere, old towels and dirty clothes covering every bit of carpet, cluttered desk, unmade bed, tons of water glasses accumulating on my bedside table. And my anxiety wont let me sleep in a gross messy room so I'm always extra tired and yeah. High five for mental illness ://


I relate to the social situations thing so much :/ Like all of a sudden I'll just start feeling sad and super insecure and boring.


I kid you not you have described everything that goes through my head and what I feel when I have these days. Wow I always thought no one understood you have proved me wrong. Shit thank you


When I'm depressed, I barely do anything. But if I get myself to get up and get showered and open my shades and go outside, I feel a lot better. Sometimes if I eat too much food and regret eating grossly during the day, I get in bed around 6pm and lay there till I fall asleep 5 hours later... so yeah


It's nice to watch this as I feel very drowned today


i kinda love this though. like, of course im sorry you have to deal with this because it sucks. but this is such a real representation of depression. its not poetry and tea, its not horrific and gory... its very boring and shitty. its VERY eating edemame beans in the middle of your floor, trying to read a pamphlet and then going to bed.


Well I can relate to this a lot. I'm not diagnosed tho so I won't go ahead and give myself a diagnosis because that wouldn't help at all.


Oh my god how did I not find this video before I feel this way so much wow it's nice to hear someone talking about it


Medication is pretty amazing. It can take a while to find a treatment that works for you (and it takes about a month for it to kick in), but when you do, your whole world changes. I was on the fence about meds as well, but when I had a severe depressive episode at the same time I lost health insurance (I'm not in the UK) I became pretty desperate to try anything that would just make me feel better. Now that I'm in a healthy place I find it stunning that so many people who have histories of severe, chronic depression won't try medication. It seriously works.


i relate to this whole vid... like it's getting scary.


I started crying when I was watching this because I felt so understood ughhh


I understand the part when you said you're not depressed you think things like "How was I ever depressed" or stuff like that. When i'm happy I feel the same way about when I was depressed where I cannot remember what it felt like or how I could've been so low before when I feel so normal other times.


So I'm on a Dodie binge and I'm not sure if I should watch her happy/music videos because even though the music is amazing and makes me feel really good, and her general vibe is so nice, I know I'll get super jealous of how beautiful and talented and perfect she is, and I'll fall into the hole of loving my idols while also being so angry with them. I'll literally be on YouTube watching Dodie and Tessa and all of my others faves and internally battling with myself for how I feel. Urgh. Lovely video though, I've watched it so many times at this point and it never stops being relatable. Hope you're doing well, Dods. 💕


Girl I know what it is, it's quite normal in the last few months and I felt like you feel like your brain can not cling to absolutely nothing and you feel like your head weighs a lot, and it's all you Seemingly indifferent and stupid, but as I said, it is quite normal and will not last forever as soon as I get it right, and you will be fine


this was so cute btw, i love this vid lol :) what camera do you use?


feel like this every day, its so tireing


Its scary... I just found Dodies channel and I'm alike her... I play ukulele, I sing, I'm bi, and depressed


That happened last year, it felt like a dream. My mind wasn't where it was supposed to be.. and I was sad that week so that created depression! Yay me e.e


coming from a depressed person, I didn't know that there were circumstances where depression shuts on and off. is this the chemical side or life event and attitude side? not a sarcastic comment, I'm dead serious.


i feel you girl!!! i feel you. :( is it a good or a bad thing?


i have literally never related to something more in my life


woooooooow you just described every detail in my life


my mom thought my depressed was cured after i stopped taking my medicine (doctor didnt tell me to, i just did) and i am at a point i can live without it without being on the edge of killing myself but i still am very depressed which was a shock to her lol


I literally feel and say the same things difference I don't tell people like my mom or have a therapist


my depression works so diffrenty compared to a lot of people ,i make my self go out and exlpore the world sand show my family and friends a happy me but then once i get alone i curl up in a dark corner and let everything negative get into my head .


you made me cry so hard SAME.EXACT.THOUGHTS. triggered here


Damn this was too real it really hurts lmao


I know this so well. And i hate the time when i'm so painfully sarcastic to others, because they don't get what i feel... And it hurts  when they're trying to chear you up.. but you just can't and then they are sad for you.


I hate people who say 'ohh, my life would be so much better if I didn't have depression or anxiety' like, you have the perfect life... you don't have depression or anxiety, you can do things I can't, i can't even talk to certain people or do certain things without having a breakdown whereas you do it like it's nothing! Or when people say they're depressed because they're upset, you don't know how it feels to have to drag yourself out of bed every morning and fight through the days...

Ok, rant over... great video Dodie ♥♥


That "wooowww" made me laugh. It was a funny way to say it


After five years, I'm finally not depressed after figuring out im transgender. and im getting on hormones soon, which is better than when i used to do hardcore drugs lol. so thats cool.


this is so me and i never know what to do when i feel depressed. i don't really like to talk about it with others and i think the only person who knows about how i feel is my best friend but she worries a lot so i can't really talk about it with her. i just know that she won't really listen and she would only just think about the whole thing not really listening to what i say. all she thinks about is MY FRIEND IS DEPRESSED! and not how i feel. so yeah


Can you make a video about how to tell if you have depression/feel depressed or not? Like what is the difference between having depression or just feeling depressed


love that video for some reason idk... it just feels so real


WHY IS THIS SO RELATABLE, LIKE THIS IS ME ALMOST EVERY FUCKING DAY.


im glad this wqs months ago and you seem much happier now


brain fog is the worst... feels like you're high/out it but so painfully "there" at the same time


Where is the pullover from? Its so nice and pretty


literally when i enter The Spiral™ i can't face even leaving my bed so i just legit lie there with my laptop balanced on my stomach, watching louis theroux on netflix (for the 700th time) with a milk carton, belvita soft bakes, pure strawberry nesquik powder, sticky rib pot noodle and doritos and dairy milk, bored eating my way thru the day, with my gross hoodie that reeks of stale smoke and grimy sports direct trackies, my room smells of ash and my bed is disgusting and probs sweaty as coz ive been lying in it all day, and my unwashed hair goes matted and gross from being tied into the same bun for 5 days straight.


Hahahaha dont know wats wrong with me but I feel the same, I might be dying, whatever.🙃


does depression suddenly comes and goes away and comes back again suddenly?


I love the fact she was watching Rick and Morty at the beginning. like same.


oh geez i get the same thing where everything just feels like it's not there? like i'm just far away from everything that's happening sometimes i'll snap out of it and i'm like "oh right everything's real i forgot" but it'll last for like a few seconds i'll go back to it osetimes i legitimately believe any second reality just gonna break and i'm gonna be like "yep i knew this was all fake" of course it doesn't happen but yeah


I have different levels of depression and it's very bipolar


Okay I know this is a very serious video but I just need to know what those things are that she's eating cause it looks really good. does anyone know?


tbh I liked her lighting better than others youtubers


today is one of those days. i feel heavy and bored. everything i do is just an action. im feeling no satisfaction from the things that usually make me smile. just saying here now i feel uncomfortable and im experiencing this longing feeling where, no matter what i do, im not fufilled. i havent brushed my teth today. nor have i taken my asthma medication.
so now im jsut going to go to bed and listen to this owl which randomly started hooting during the making of this comment.
~ a depressed british bean <3
(sorry. i needed escape)


I've been feeling depressed for about 6 years and I keep thinking why ain't I happy I'm whole and I have a family that loves me so why do I feel worthless without a purpose. Everyone seems to have their life figured and I feel stuck. I always check my mood in the morning I always check my mood. I hate when I feel happy because I know it's not going to last and it's not because of certain situations I just fucking do that it's like I love being sad which I don't but I can't find any other reason for feeling this is way it is so frustrating. I stay in pajamas all day and to avoid conversations like "Hey Diana how are you" I lock myself in my room even eating seems difficult. I can't sleep and in the morning I can't get up. I'm glued to my bed. College rn seems like a drag I have finals and I feel like I can't even pick up my pencil. I just want to fucking be a normal happy person. why is it so hard? Am I making it hard? and if I am why? why do I do that because I just don't feel in control of anything anymore.


I feel exactly the way you describted it......


I feel some of what you are saying but mine is to do with me missing routine, I have finished my a levels and I miss the business in my routine. I know that it's because I'm bored and I want to go out and do things but can't afford to do things that I know will stop my boredom. Ugh...
Yea sorry had to get that off my chest
But I know it's not depression, I've seen family members depressed so I do know that what I am feeling isn't depression, I'm just bored


In the same space right now - not only physically ill and waiting for scans, but mental illness is being a right bastard. At the point where I'm trying so many tips and tricks to get myself out of this big dip but it just frustrates me more when they don't work. And like, things have been great, but then bloody terrible things have happened this year too, and I just can't really seem to feel anything but sad, hopeless numbness. Either that or something really great will happen and then afterwards my swing back into a depressive state gets worse. I just want to get better and I think because I'm ill, my meds aren't working like they should.


When I'm depressed i just kept on eating chocolates and get letting myself more down idk why I do that it's annoying


when you opened the fridge i thought youll try fit in it. i do that. why idk i just do and i just sit and its not good for my food and the doors open and its cold but i just sit in my fridge with all of content on the floor in front of me.


What are you eating, they look really good.


the problem with me is when I get sad to happy very fast sad to happy sad to happy all over again


I'm fucking in love with you 😹 i feel like you


lol i just feel like giving no emotion towards anything I do like i usually just have an annoyed expression with everything but im not sad, mad, happy or anything. just no emotion. like i don't even really find anything funny/happy/sad anymore, YEET WHAT ARE FEELINGS 🤷🏻♀


I'm depressed today and this kinda made me want to wright poetry .-. So I'll be doing that now um bye


I'm so down right in this moment it's 1am and I just woke up because I fell asleep at 8pm. I feel so lonely right now that's why I came here (to feel understood?) I just wanna watch some Ghibli(is that how it's written) movies while eating some peas but I have last day of school tomorrow Idk if I'll go tho my friends are at some party right now without me. I couldn't go because of physical problems(pain etc.) and at first a friend told me she would stay at home with me and I was so happy but then she told me she would go to the party because she didn't want to upset our other friends. I think that's why I'm in this situation right now? That's just such a bad reason to be depressed I can't force my friends to stay in with me but still I'm so sad that they went why am I such a bad person I don't get it? What's wrong with me


I thought I was the only one who felt this. I thought I was insane. but then I got diagnosed with major depression and now I have an eating disorder. I don't have any motivation anymore. it's effort for me to even watch TV or go to the bathroom. I don't want to sleep but at the same time I'm tired. I don't want to go out. I don't want to do anything. I feel nothing. it's like the world is against me and is punishing me for having depression.  I try not to harm myself but it's just too hard. yes my username is lmao kill me because I always say it as a joke. only if they knew I was actually being serious. I laugh it off. act happy with friends but at night I cry on my own not knowing what to do. I've had suicidal thoughts I can't stop them from appearing. please someone tell me what to do


I m feeling depressed today. And lazy too.


I feel like the worst thing is being incredibly ambitious and depressed and you feel like absolutely lazy and useless and goddamn it.


i just feel like im wathcing the voice in my head on a video lol


My anxiety is really bad today and I have to go to work


I m feeling depressed today. And lazy too


My girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me recently. and i got soo sad and depressed since just the other day, when i found out she had cheated on me with a guy a couple days before she broke up with me. Since i found out i have been so down and sad and just "broken" now. I dont know what to do, how to react. Was it my fault? did i fuck up? could i have changed this somehow?


I get depressed because life is depressing


U know what fuck it this is late as fuck but I need to rant lmaoo when I'm depressed I don't wanna do anything I don't want to shower, I don't want to get dressed and I always ALWAYS forget these feeling aren't normal it's not normal to not feel anything and I always forget that depression comes in so many ways so I always bring myself down by thinking what if I'm subconsciously faking it what if I'm just really lazy, there's people out there who have it way worse and it's so annoying to have these thought cause it feels like your being invalidated and you never know where to place yourself and it's just ughhhhhh


"Look how depressed I am" because depression can be seen through what you look like. You're so depressed you made a video about it. Also you've curled your hair because you're so depressed, right? "Ohh it's so bad".


Blarg blarg, either that was a Rick and Morty reference or just gibberish


i feel like i can never decribe how i feel when im depressed but it's this. it's literally this.


trying to earn sympathy like 'i'm so depressed'


2017. Or the year YouTube goes to shit and more and more youtubers expose their first world problems to their young audience.  You're making such a big deal of your 'depression' I doubt you even know what you're talking about.

i doubt you know what your talking about


depression anxiety ptsd sucks beyond words and no one understand any of it unless they are in the same boat.


Also it should be illegal to be eat on camera


<b>i don’t give a DAMN..............well I kinda do</b>

*i don’t give a DAMN..............well I kinda do*


I think u are still lucky, u should thanks god. Before i go to the therapist, i can't even eat or walk to the kitchen. I slept on my bed all day, my mom bring food and water to my room and i just ate them a little little litte bit. I lost sooo much weight, my hand fill by a bunch of scars. and i thanks god, because i slowly became better. and at least i'm not kill myself yet... 😊


Why should you be depressed you are young cute and have a nice home


pathetic! Repeting, I do prefer Hedy's personality.


im so urghh i feel soooooooooooooooooooo numb. woop.


Waow a real person who is like the inside of my brain soooo ? This feels fake. too relateable. Wtf brain


Hockeygirl 05 I feel like the title is definitely enough 🤷🏼♀


Anyone else got recommended to this video?