ok can someone tell me if there's a reason for how i feel? a name or something? idk if it's "depression" bc i don't even feel that bad or that deep sadness associated with depression.
but oftentimes i kind of feel like i have to make an effort to interact - like i'll be in a conversation and i hear the words but i have to make myself laugh. i go on the internet when i'm bored and read stupid buzzfeed articles and watch youtube and netflix but i still just feel this weird... boredom?? sort of blank and unfulfilled.
idk it's not bad. it's kind of like what dodie was describing in the middle of the video but i'm not thatttt affected by it?
maybe i'm just tired. i don't know

Elaina Kleven depression is not a feeling?

is it depression though? i really dont want to think that having this feeling; the numbess and emptiness is bc of it. because there's so many things to be grateful in my life that i feel i shouldn't behave in this way. i have my parents, i'm not poor, i have a small group of friends who care in a way, i'm healthy. my point is that there are things that i'm grateful for, but why am i feeling this way?

i feel like i'm going to end up in the same situation as you. any tips to avoid?

i feel the same way and it's so nice to see that i'm not the only one feeling this way. i feel numb and my chest feels heavy. i don't make effort to smile nor talk. i just go on the internet or sleep when i'm like this. it's awful when i go to school, because there's so much thing that i have to force myself to do. smile, listen, talk, laugh. but i don't bother nowadays.

ukelella i experienced this a lot last summer. i really think for me it was caused by loneliness and the fact that my "friends" didn't bring me as much happiness and joy as they used to ... i felt really lonely and that nothing was as much fun as it used to be and I didn't know if i would ever find people that I genuinely liked to be around. I still feel it quite a lot but realizing that that was it helped me a bit

This is exactly how I feel. Sometimes I feel like my life's a bore,and that I have to go out. I get sad when that happens But other times I don't mind  being by myself.

I feel like this a lot too? Maybe a lot of people can relate to this type of thing? But, idk, I just feel sort of numb, even when doing things that I usually enjoy and it's worrying me. I don't know what's wrong...

this is kind of how i felt in the beginning of this year and the past year or so. The only thing I can tell you is that I know it feels permanent and that you may never feel real joy again, but I promise that you will. Everything may seem fake and plastic in a way, but one day the veil will open and your eyes will widen once more, and you will be genuinely happy. I can't say I'm perfect right now, but I am working on it. I hope you feel better xx

ok this is the most relatable thing i've ever read, because i'm obviously not depressed but i get in a mood, just like what you described

thank you so much. Since I posted this comment, things haven't improved much. I think I need to tell someone.

I understand. I think its anxiety, i have horrible anxiety and its thousand times worse than yours.

Shalee Michelle<br>I hope things get better for you soon, sweetheart. I know it's so unbelievably tough, but please keep going. Be kind to yourself.

Shalee Michelle
I hope things get better for you soon, sweetheart. I know it's so unbelievably tough, but please keep going. Be kind to yourself.

A bit late, but you could very well be experiencing a mild depression. It can be very hard to realize that you're dealing with depression in the very early stages because it's so subtle.

For example, I was first diagnosed with depression when I was eleven. It came on suddenly and it came on strong. It was painful and all-consuming, but with proper treatment it went away after two years.

So from that point, from ages 13-15 I was fine and extremely healthy and happy. When I turned sixteen, the depression slowly started coming back, but I didn't realize it at the time because it started off so mild. I could go to school, I could take care of myself (study, do my homework, fix food for myself, and exercise), and I still enjoyed hanging out with friends and watching television, etc. But something just felt, "off." I felt bored, exhausted, and nothing was as exciting anymore. I thought I was just burned out from school, y'know?

I had this impression that depression was supposed to be horribly noticeable, because that was my very first experience with it. So when it came on so subtlety I didn't even realize that it was, in fact, depression.

Fast forward to when I was 17-18, and I realized that I was in fact depressed and that it was getting worse - *way worse. * I dropped out of traditional schooling and decided to homeschool for my senior year (because my anxiety couldn't cope otherwise). By the end of my senior year, I "flunked out" on homeschooling. I made perfect grades - all A's - but I didn't finish all of the coursework on time so I didn't graduate.

I couldn't get out of bed for weeks at a time, I couldn't bring myself to shower or brush my teeth (even if I wanted to), and I couldnt feed myself. I'd starve for a week at a time because I had no energy to make food for myself. Any time I would attempt to get out of bed, my body felt like a 100lb dead weight and it felt like I was moving in slow motion. I felt like I never slept even though I slept constantly.

The depression caused me to always be sick with a lowly cold or flu for most of each year. I'm twenty now and I'm still very sick, and I've left my house less than ten times in four years. I'm completely disabled and unable to work due to my depression, anxiety,  and borderline personality disorder. But I'm still trying to take care of myself and get my GED in the meantime. It's a real fight.

But the point of my story is that, if there's a chance that you feel that you have depression (even if it's just mild), you should really get checked out by a doctor. Because depression almost always worsens over time and it can get to the point to where it ruins your entire life. You have a much better chance at recovering very fast (with proper treatment) if you manage to catch it early and stop it in it's tracks.

Does all of this make sense? I know my comment is a mile long but I felt it was really important for you to understand this. This is what I wish I'd known years ago, but maybe my experience could help someone else and save them from the same grief that I went through. 💖💖

A bit late, but you could very well be experiencing a mild depression. It can be very hard to realize that you're dealing with depression in the very early stages because it's so subtle.

For example, I was first diagnosed with depression when I was eleven. It came on suddenly and it came on strong. It was painful and all-consuming, but with proper treatment it went away after two years.

So from that point, from ages 13-15 I was fine and extremely healthy and happy. When I turned sixteen, the depression slowly started coming back, but I didn't realize it at the time because it started off *so* mild. I could go to school, I could take care of myself (study, do my homework, fix food for myself, and exercise), and I still enjoyed hanging out with friends and watching television, etc. But something just felt, "off." I felt bored, exhausted, and nothing was as exciting anymore. I thought I was just burned out from school, y'know?

I had this impression that depression was supposed to be horribly noticeable, because that was my very first experience with it. So when it came on so subtlety I didn't even realize that it was, in fact, depression.

Fast forward to when I was 17-18, and I realized that I was in fact depressed and that it was getting worse - *way worse. * I dropped out of traditional schooling and decided to homeschool for my senior year (because my anxiety couldn't cope otherwise). By the end of my senior year, I "flunked out" on homeschooling. I made perfect grades - all A's - but I didn't finish all of the coursework on time so I didn't graduate.

I couldn't get out of bed for weeks at a time, I couldn't bring myself to shower or brush my teeth (even if I wanted to), and I couldnt feed myself. I'd starve for a week at a time because I had no energy to make food for myself. Any time I would attempt to get out of bed, my body felt like a 100lb dead weight and it felt like I was moving in slow motion. I felt like I never slept even though I slept constantly.

The depression caused me to always be sick with a lowly cold or flu for most of each year. I'm twenty now and I'm still very sick, and I've left my house less than ten times in four years. I'm completely disabled and unable to work due to my depression, anxiety,  and borderline personality disorder. But I'm still trying to take care of myself and get my GED in the meantime. It's a real fight.

But the point of my story is that, if there's a chance that you feel that you have depression (even if it's just mild), you should really get checked out by a doctor. Because depression *almost always* worsens over time and it can get to the point to where it ruins your entire life. You have a much better chance at recovering very fast (with proper treatment) if you manage to catch it early and stop it in it's tracks.

Does all of this make sense? I know my comment is a mile long but I felt it was really important for you to understand this. This is what I wish I'd known years ago, but maybe my experience could help someone else and save them from the same grief that I went through. 💖💖

ukelella I feel the same but I go on as usual and everything but, almost nothing intrigues me, art used to be my escape but it's starting to become a pressure since I want to maybe pursue it as a career and I need to improve, it just took the fun out and now everything is blank, blank faces blank papers, blank screens, I don't think I could be seriously diagnosed with anything it's just a constant state of boredom and numbness, I'm always longing for a person to come with interesting views or a striking personality to brighten up my life a bit but then I get mad at myself because I'm taking the friends I do have for granted idk I kinda just wanted to rant a bit maybe it's just my personality

a little bit, but i think thats more of a result of the mindset i'm in rn. maybe what i'm feeling is anxiety idk

ukelella has anything in your social life changed? I was an extrovert in secondary school but left and just quietness down a lot x

i'm in a similar ish situation. or mainly just feeling a similar way.

trust me it's not my personality. i'm a very social person and an extrovert. just lately i haven't been able to get myself into any interactions or feel involved

Hello, this is my last term in college and I'm gonna explain the situation cause I don't know whether it's normal or not. I am literally an anti-social person with anxiety, I can't talk to people easily and I have nearly no friends at school, and I somehow managed to survive like this for about 4 years. But this term, as you said, I am feeling numb and exhausted all the time, like I have a big stone in my head. And I feel like I have no energy to go out or even do something. I can't concentrate on any of my responsibilities. This is the worst cause I have a lot of work needs to be done to graduate. Also I am getting angry very easily, feeling down and giving up easily. Most of the time I'm angry to myself for being a person like this, and I take my anger out on people around me, this ruins my relationships with everyone. I am sick of being alone and I really want to gradute! What should I do? Can anyone help me please :'(

Not everything has to have a name or diagnosis, it's just your personality, I'm the sAme, I don't really like interacting unless I'm in the mood etc.

Yep I feel you. I feel too sad to do anything productive but then I wonder if I should try harder to do it because I'm so bored by everything else I do to try to fill my time. My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday and we still love each other. But my drinking caused too many problems. It made me do and say things I can't relate to when I'm sober. I miss him so much and I haven't told anyone so I'm telling YouTube

ukelella literally my life although I think it's because... this is gonna get deep but I'll try make it short

My mom doesn't live with me also my nan makes fun of her IN FRONT OF ME oh yeah much more
My grandad almost kidnapped me
I live with my step mom little sister and big brother but not with my little brother
My friend is a drama queen I hit her with a disc on accident and she tells her mom I'm a bitch
I think my boyfriend is gay
Nobody gets me

Eniola Folarin you legit just described me

that's how I've been feeling lately. all I want to do is stay in my room all day and I'm always hopping from youtube to  Netflix...like I'm trying to fill a void or something but it's not bad. it just feels empty.

i mean i already have anxiety. depression runs in my family so i guess it might make sense. i've never really looked into what depersonalization is, but it might make sense in my  case idk. my problem is that i only feel this way sometimes. i'm anxious a lot, but i only get in these moods usually at night or once in a while. it's never been like weeks of feeling gross ya kno

ukelella i'm not exactly trained to diagnose you, but it could be a bit of depersonalisation. either that or straight up depression and anxiety

SAME i always feel most anxious and just not good at night and in the winter. glad you're feeling better doe

ukelella  The coming and going is honestly the worst thing for getting help!  After the worst of it (when I had transferred back to a college near home -- yup, I ran away from all my new friends... oops) I had been feeling like crap for awhile and finally asked my mom to schedule a doctor's appointment.  Then I felt fine for a little bit a couple weeks later and canceled it... and that happened a couple times.  I only ended up actually going to see someone when the anxiety was consistently keeping me from falling asleep.  I love sleep, so I had no patience for that!  :P. With all that, actually getting to a doctor took a couple years after my original breakdown.  WAY too long, but what's done is done.  <br>I AM doing a bit better, though.  I ended up going on Wellbutrin (since a few people in my family were on it and liked it), and since it kicked in, the anxiety hasn't gotten so bad... Honestly, before my anxiety even started affecting my sleep, the littlest things would make me scream inside.  And that was BEFORE winter!  My mood always tanks when it gets cold.   But, lucky for me, Wellbutrin is also shown to help with Seasonal Depression, and honestly, this winter has been really good, relatively speaking.  I'm still mostly functional and I wake up a lot more awake with a couple hours less sleep than I usually need in the cold months.  And I can handle little things just fine most of the time, even if big things still get to me.  I still need to go see a therapist one of these days... I keep putting it off... But I've never been back to the low that I hit then, and that's really nice! :)

ukelella  The coming and going is honestly the worst thing for getting help!  After the worst of it (when I had transferred back to a college near home -- yup, I ran away from all my new friends... oops) I had been feeling like crap for awhile and finally asked my mom to schedule a doctor's appointment.  Then I felt fine for a little bit a couple weeks later and canceled it... and that happened a couple times.  I only ended up actually going to see someone when the anxiety was consistently keeping me from falling asleep.  I love sleep, so I had no patience for that!  :P. With all that, actually getting to a doctor took a couple years after my original breakdown.  WAY too long, but what's done is done.
I AM doing a bit better, though.  I ended up going on Wellbutrin (since a few people in my family were on it and liked it), and since it kicked in, the anxiety hasn't gotten so bad... Honestly, before my anxiety even started affecting my sleep, the littlest things would make me scream inside.  And that was BEFORE winter!  My mood always tanks when it gets cold.   But, lucky for me, Wellbutrin is also shown to help with Seasonal Depression, and honestly, this winter has been really good, relatively speaking.  I'm still mostly functional and I wake up a lot more awake with a couple hours less sleep than I usually need in the cold months.  And I can handle little things just fine most of the time, even if big things still get to me.  I still need to go see a therapist one of these days... I keep putting it off... But I've never been back to the low that I hit then, and that's really nice! :)

thank you so much for this i am relating so much !!  are you doing better bc this has been happening to me for a long time and i don't really know what to do at this point. it wrecks social situations for me and my anxiety is yikes<br>but it's not really all-encompassing. it comes and goes in phases

thank you so much for this i am relating so much !!  are you doing better bc this has been happening to me for a long time and i don't really know what to do at this point. it wrecks social situations for me and my anxiety is yikes
but it's not really all-encompassing. it comes and goes in phases

ukelella The first thing I noticed, a little while before I entered my full-on breakdown was that I was forcing myself to laugh in places where it used to be natural.  Like it was a weird reflex even though I didn't actually feel happy like I used to.  But I didn't think I counted as depressed because I just felt numb and exhausted all the time.  Not sad, really, because I wasn't feeling much of anything.  Eventually the anxiety caught up with me and filled the void in my chest, but it was always thoughts like "wouldn't it be nice if I just: [examples include everything from "passed out" to "got shot"] so that I could just... stop.  Everything.". Because I just felt too tired for anything to be worth the effort it took.  I want to tell you that it counts.  Depression comes in a lot of different forms, and if it gets to the point where you can't feel happy anymore, then you deserve help.


Whenever I feel really bad I watch this video because it makes me feel less alone thank you for that.


I revisit this video a lot when I’m down and it helps me rationalise each time


This actually said all the things i feel, thank you


Sometimes, I have this feeling for short amounts of times. When I was small, it happened a lot. But lately it’s been happening more. Most of the time it only lasts for a few minutes. She perfectly described how it felt. I hope this doesn’t turn into a thing that lasts longer than a few seconds. If anyone has an explanation, please tell me! 😓😓


I'm not someone that deals with Major Depressive Disorder,  y'know the typical and common  depression that I know a lot of people deal with. I have dysthymia which is persistent depressive disorder, in other words high functioning depression. I've finally figured out a way to describe it:

Think of walking with shackles that have those balls that are attached to them. Now imagine everytime you ignore your problems, or unhealthy cope, or you're not feeling productive or worthy or in the moment that those little weighted balls get bigger and yet you're still walking upright. Think of all the times you supress yourself, or feel down, or make a mistake and hate yourself for it that those weights continue to grow in size until you are met with a mountain as big as them. Try climbing up that mountain. Imagine getting halfway up, only for your shackles to bring you back down to the bottom again. Imagine trying to jump over a hole in the middle of your path. You can't walk around it, so you have to jump. You make a headstart but are hit with the fact you have a lot of unfinished business to deal with but have had no motivation to. You jump and yet you never make it over until you learn to take the shackles off, only to repeat the process. Dysthymia is like a bug. That bug is a problem. You ignore it, and more come until you are basically inhaling them. You find the solution and then have another bug. You carry your baggage like there's nothing wrong. No one realizes that your stuck in your thoughts or that your empty because you can function. It's persistent depressive episode and an almost euthymic or apathetic state. You're numb. You're fatigued. You're depressed and no matter how many times you try to tell people, they'll tell you you're faking it.


Hello. It's new year's and I've relapsed so I come here so I won't feel so alone. Im sorry that this depression thing exists, but im grateful that there are people like Dodie and her lovely community who give comfort in shared suffering. So here's to a better 2019. Cheers, mate 💜


this is amazing you put all the things I couldn't make out to say into words


Thanks a lot. Sometimes I feel sad, anguished, lonely and unloved, but I know I'll wake up better because this is not my normal state. Overthinking from anxiety is more like my normal state. I'm scared of being depressed and this showed me the difference between an actual problem and some dark cloud moments everyone is allowed to have, especially during quarantine. Also, it's amazing how her voice is tired and she's not okay, but still she talks in her charismatic way. I admire her.


I saw a really brilliant way of defining depression on reddit today while I was just looking for something to pick me up.

"If someone kills your puppy, you feel shit, that's sadness.
If someone gives you a puppy, you feel shit, that's depression."

This is correct omg. Is it weird that I have been feeling depressed for the past two years and now I'm getting another dog but I'm not that excited even tho it's so cute? Relatable? Help?

StephThePenguin Unless you're allergic to dogs, or you dislike puppies, or you're indifferent to them, or you don't feel as if you can look after it, etc.<br>That's the problem with humans. Too many variables. I think the problem with depression is the belief things can be objectively bad, or just beliefs in general. Depersonalisation is fine, a 'person' is just a mechanism for the rest of the organism to survive, like the heart or lungs. People probably aren't what they think they are, haha. Feeling like things aren't real is alright, you can't actually prove that this universe is real/the base reality anyway. Being real doesn't give it anything extra. Human life is play pretend, but that's fine. I guess I'm a bit nihilistic, but I just find it funny. Maybe happiness is overrated. Sorry, long response. Also a late response, you probably won't see this, lol. :)

StephThePenguin Unless you're allergic to dogs, or you dislike puppies, or you're indifferent to them, or you don't feel as if you can look after it, etc.
That's the problem with humans. Too many variables. I think the problem with depression is the belief things can be objectively bad, or just beliefs in general. Depersonalisation is fine, a 'person' is just a mechanism for the rest of the organism to survive, like the heart or lungs. People probably aren't what they think they are, haha. Feeling like things aren't real is alright, you can't actually prove that this universe is real/the base reality anyway. Being real doesn't give it anything extra. Human life is play pretend, but that's fine. I guess I'm a bit nihilistic, but I just find it funny. Maybe happiness is overrated. Sorry, long response. Also a late response, you probably won't see this, lol. :)


Thank you for being so open about this. It's more helpful than you know.


Really hope you found a way to cope with this. I hope you're ok, and i'm sorry that you felt that way. If I knew you, I would tell you that I wanted nothing more than to talk to you every day, because it would make me feel better just knowing you were there and ok. I've gotten to know it too well too. If anyone is reading this, I just want you to know that you may not feel important to anyone but you're at a minimum important to me, a random stranger. You are loved. Thank you for this video if you see this. It helped me tonight.


This spoke to exactly how I feel, thank you


I have at least watched this 50 times while I'm sad


You describe my symptoms and feelings perfectly. Maybe I was always depressed and the dp/dr came from it but now it very much seems that dp/dr causes a lot of my sadness and anxiety now. I’m better than I was a few months ago but damn it still can really get to me sometimes. It’s fucking nonsense and the only thing that helps is getting to vent about it from time to time and just put it into words like you do here. This video rules.


Dodie you have helped me so much just being yourself and not being scared to do so! I love you!


please dodie never put that video in private. i love it so much, it helped me a lot somehow. I actually watch it everytime I am feeling really bad and it helps me a lot . Thank you for making this video ilysm & please never delete it


This is how I've been feeling during this quarantine :(


I'm depressed today too. I've been depressed every day for almost a year now and... yeah, this. Not the depersonalisation stuff (I don't think?) but everything else... yeah. Exactly, you manage to say exactly what I'm feeling (as always). I spend all my free time endlessly scrolling through tumblr and just trying to make the hours disappear because I don't have the energy (emotional OR physical) to actually do anything.

If anyone's reading this I will say that pills are good. I was on them for a while and they did help me a lot (then I came off them and WELP). After all, depression is chemical imbalances in your brain, so chemical assistance to put it right does make a difference.

Well, they don't usually make things worse. (in fact, they can't unless you are allergic to them.. otherwise I'm pretty sure they just don't do anything.)

I promise that that's unlikely! they've helped my mental health symptoms so much, I'm a much better person now that I take mine.

That's a common way to feel, but pills are really nothing to be afraid of. What they're doing is artificially giving you the things that your brain is failing to produce naturally, they don't (as fearmongers like to say) actually change anything about you or the way you are. If you were diabetic you would take insulin because you need it to function properly, right? It's the same with serotonin and depression; it can't really make everything worse because that's not how they work and without them you might be continuing to go without the things you sorely need.

(Just anecdotally, I took pills for maybe two years. No they didn't fix everything but they were a supplement to the therapy and the CBT and all the other stuff designed to fix you. The time that everything DID get worse? When I stopped taking them too soon. That was the thing that fucked me up.)

Maggie Standage-Bowles I can't trust pills, I'm scared they'll make everything worse :(


depression for me has been so bad that i have a hard time concentrating. i used to think i was just born with bad memory or something but over the years as my depression gets worse and worse , so does my memory. i can hardly remember anything. when the last time i saw a certain person was. if i locked my car. if i fed my cat. if i took my medication. depression is so awful . i think one major thing i hate most about depression is the fact that no matter what you do the sadness just doesn’t leave. it still stays and you just feel like a zombie. all numb and emotionless. i’ve become a bitter person over the years because of my depression . and it makes my heart hurt knowing that i hurt people and that i’m mean to them sometimes. and when they say “you’re mean” i just say “you don’t understand what i’m going thru” i feel like no one does. i never mean to hurt anyone, i just have a wall built up so high and i get so defensive about anything. i miss the old me and i’d do anything to get her back. she was so happy and full of life. never knew growing up and adulting would be such a sad time of my life


I love these videos because none ever wants to talk to me about how I feel and listening to someone who feels the same as me so it makes me happy


I watched this a few times when it was first uploaded, and I thought I got it - I have depression, I related to what you say about your brain feeling so heavy - but then when I was doing my gcses one evening i just felt so so insanely hopeless,  and I lay on my bed with my feet dangling out the window and feeling the cold air and I Got it. That bit where dodie says “it’s so so bad” and kind of falls back a bit. I had never fully connected with that feeling until then. And it is, so, so bad - so horrifically hopeless and painful and heavy. I’ve now done my gcses, my a levels, am on a gap year now and will be going to university in September. I’m still depressed, I still have anxiety, I still need to go back to therapy, but right now I’m in New Zealand, travelling alone. My fifteen year old self, sat on that bed feeling so utterly alone and helpless, she did well and she wouldn’t believe that I’d survive the week, let alone four years - four years with some happiness too. And now I’m out as gay to my parents and brother and I’m on prozac, and it’s not perfect but it’s better.

Try to talk to someone, it’s a cliche because it’s true: it can get better


this is the video i watch whenever I'm depressed so i can remember I'm not alone thank you for making this


I hope you feel better soon dodie, you have the support of thousands . we love you xx


Omg this video helped me a lot with my mental health when I was 15 and I’m so glad it’s back


You literally just described how I feel almost every night when I try to go to sleep.


Sometimes I come back and listen to this when I’m sad so I don’t feel alone


This is the most relatable video i've seen in the past months..


Damn, this made me cry I never knew I could relate to this


I didn't know how much I wanted this feeling to be put into words but it did and I needed it and it feels like its just right


That’s what I feel. Depression meds, too scared since the last time I tried to commit suicide. Psychiatric dog, so much waiting and training and preparing that I’m trying to do. God I feel you Dodie, I feel you so hard.


as shitty as it is to feel this way and to watch someone else go through this,

it’s so helpful to know that other people feel this way, too.


The worst days are when you're emotionally depressed and chemically depressed. Like when your brain is messed up, and you have a lot on your plate, so you just hate everything, and you're unsatisfied by everything, and you just want to die. 😐 Thanks life.

The chemical depression always outweighs the emotional depression for me... and I hate it... I wish I could just feel emotion like normal people and not have the evil parasite in the background.


To everyone here who are battling depression i send you all love and light.


this made me feel less alone in my misery... thank you for that!


No one feels pain the same as someone else does, but I always come back to this video when I feel low and alone with my thoughts because you kinda just put it all into words. I can empathize with what you're saying and it makes me feel less alone. Everyone has different experiences and feelings but it's nice to find a community where mental illness is talked about realistically and not romanticised. I've loved Dodie for so many years now, she's really quite lovely. I hope anyone watching this knows that things do get better despite how clique it sounds, and that they also find comfort in community. ❤


YouTube recommended this to me like... 2 years later. Right at the end of a huge depressive episode after talking about my worst episode to a room full of mental specialists. Thought I was ready to talk about it, clearly wasn't the case and I spent about 5 weeks stuck in this exact headspace. It felt like treading through heavy waters.

It's been two years since I've had such a low episode for such a long time (although not as low as I had gotten back then) and it is so difficult to see the light at the end when everyday feels exactly the same. I'm out of that period again, and I'm on antidepressants that are actually helping me this time.

I know that these episodes are normal though, I just hate how long they can be from time to time.


Anyone else tired of hearing "it's just hormones"? You know it's not, and you know if it were hormones you wouldn't be like this.

Yes, I can relate. I hate how everyone keeps saying that to me. If it was truly hormones, then I wouldn't attempted ending my own life.

oml yes. My mum tells me that when im having an anxiety attack and i want to tell her that it's not. just hormones.

but i love my mum too...

Yes. I still haven't told my mum how I feel so she just tells me it's PMS. And yes it get worse during that time but that isn't why i'm feeling like that

Omg yesssss my CAMHS cousllor is like it’s low mood due to your hormones 🙄

preach, sick of everyone thinking that I just want to skip school and class because everyone has bad days but for its pretty much everyday and hormones just don't make you feel that kind of way someone finally said it ! Kit Kat13 preach btw love your profile picture

My hormones just consist of anger..thats it.

I hate being told "you are doing it for attention" or "everyone thinks they're depressed"

rashi mohan i musnt of worded it right, i think we all mean that it's when people say "ur just on your period you'll get over it"

But they are hormones! If you stop believing that depression is caused by enzymes released by our body, then you have no right to acknowledge it as a disease!

Kit Kat13 <br>You kinda know when it's hormones because hormones are different to depressioness (that's not a word but idgaf)

Kit Kat13
You kinda know when it's hormones because hormones are different to depressioness (that's not a word but idgaf)

yes I'm sure they know depression is hormones but i think they're referring to puberty hormones which parents or adults are always saying is the case of our "bad mood"..... hormones more like HORRORmones

it is literally hormones. Depression is an unbalance of chemicals in your brain.

Do you all even know what hormones are? Biology 101
Depression is caused by hormones
But hormones aren't only the things that make you horny or emotional as a teenager
Hormones control many things, even your metabolism, your feelings, your growth... etc
Depression has to do a hell of a lot with a disbalance of hormones
Does that make it less important or awful to experience? NO
It's a serious illness, it's important to seek help, and it's important to be emphatic about it
I gave you the biology 101 point of view, just to correct you in all kindness. I can't know how you all feel, everyone is different, everyone experiences things in many ways, and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you get better, even if it's just a bit each day. I love you. You all matter and I believe in you <3

Kit Kat13 I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 6. "Hormones"

Kit Kat13 fucking yes. My "hormones" have been bugging me since I was like 7.(technically still hormones but referring to how a parent means((usually meaning puberty)  I'm 19 now. pretty sure it's not hormones. I feel like depression evolves with age as well from what I've noticed.

Kit Kat13 preach! I hate being told that


This is the most relatable video i've ever seen. Thank you.


i watch this video everytime im depressed and it makes me feel like im not alone


This just popped up in my recommended and I’m glad. <br>If you ever read this comment I want you to know that your video made me feel less alone about my feelings. Thank you

This just popped up in my recommended and I’m glad.
If you ever read this comment I want you to know that your video made me feel less alone about my feelings. Thank you


Yes! Yes! Yes! I've never called myself depressed (because any amount of emotion I used to think was weak) but this explains me. I just wake up and I'm not there. It's just blank and it doesn't feel temporary it feels forever.


Dodie as someone who also suffers from depression thank you for speaking up. The way you describe it is so perfect I am hoping more people are starting to understand the seriousness of depression and what it is like to have so I have huge respect for you for that. I refused medication for a long time and only saw myself getting worse, but have now been prescribed Sertraline and after about a month most of the side effects went. Their is no shame in medication, talk to your GP they're there to make you feel better after all.


Some people think depression is just being sad. It’s kinda funny cuz you just feel empty. Great video by the way. Very relatable.


this is an amazing video to send to a loved one who doesn’t understand what’s going on with you


I watch this video when I’m depressed and want company. I feel like we’re spending time together, eating edamame beans and talking about our feelings.


Thanks for making me feel a bit more sane 🤧❤


every time i feel heavy, i return to this video. thank you so so much, dodes. ily lots.


I need youtubers like you because otherwise i feel crazy about my depression. Thank you ❤


I've got Borderline Personality Disorder, and you just described exactly how I feel


Seeing Dodie watching Rick and Morty caused me to now have a crush on her not because of the show its because it was so random. Sending Hugs.


I remember feeling something like this in high school. I was a teaching assistant and I remember looking at the rest of the students (from the corner of the room at my desk) and thinking that they looked so strange and fake, like they were robots. It would mainly happen when I was off the anxiety medication I was taking at the time, I would just see people from a very zoomed out perspective I guess? Like I was someone from another planet or something. It hasn't happened rarely now! Hopefully you can train your brain over time to get rid of these symptoms.


You've literally just described my exact state of mind I've been experiencing for the last 4 or 5 days. I woke up one day and I was just down. I don't know why. I could not tell you what triggered it. But I feel like I'm under water, and everything is dark, and nothing makes me feel anything - other than the anxiety, which is constant and won't leave me alone. It's more than just a "blah" feeling; it's like I'm empty and heavy at the same time. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to talk. I just want to sleep and pretend nothing exists.

Courtney Cloud "Empty and heavy." I knowwwwww


Honestly, one of the realest video’s on YouTube! Thanks for making it... 🙏🏼


i come back to this video every day my depression has taken over me, to know i am not alone and that it’s ok to have an off day


When I’m depressed I always watch this video ALWAYS. It reminds me that it will pass.


I actually love this. Don’t be sorry, you should make more videos like this. We can relate and want to know you better


Damn... That sounds awful! Personally I've never really understood depression, because I've always been a happy dude! Very rarely have days where I feel completely off! That's obviously a good thing! I could never imagine what it'd feel like, feeling like shit from the moment you wake up... Even on a day like today, I'm super ill struggling to sleep right now, but still happy! After watching your several videos on this sort of stuff, it has really opened my eyes to it! It sounds like a terrible thing to go through... And I just hope you can come out the better end of this and have those feelings you once had, and be able to enjoy life at every passing moment! <3

Reece Maskrey You're lucky, the one good thing from my depression is that I know what other people are going through and I can help them more.

Esmerelda Gonzales Exactly pal, every little helps! If I could say something that gives people that uplifting feeling and helps them out then so be it. I don't know the extent of how they feel but I'd like to help as much as possible! :)

Reece Maskrey I like your mind set. Because you don't have something it's much better to empathise, rather then separate yourself, ignore it or choose not to believe it. So props to you. This is how we should see each other's problems 😄

To all the folk that have said they feel the same as me, awesome! :D Keep being positive and I'm happy you're all well! To the folk that said they don't understand how I feel, I'm sorry to hear that, and I hope things become clear for you in the future and you find a solution to what's going on! :)

Reece Maskrey that's awesome! I hope that you stay happy and healthy your whole <br>Iife😊

Reece Maskrey that's awesome! I hope that you stay happy and healthy your whole
Iife😊

I'm so jealous dude!!! I have no idea what it's like to have a healthy brain.

Reece Maskrey Me too! ive never been depressed and my body can function on 5 hours of sleep ans still be awake by the end of the day with NO CAFEENE! just cause im happy :)

doddlevloggle Awww that's too kind Dodie! <3 See people like you don't deserve to feel down at all, as you are just a sweetheart! Hope all gets better for you, and have an amazing tour dude! Wish I could be there and meet you but oh well! Maybe next time! :D

Ah but you are so kind and empathetic <3 you inspire me!


When i got my diagnosis my sister told me that i was in the presence of a dementor at all times(i'm a potterhead). It helped a LOT


man im upset this video is unlisted. i used to come back to it all the time, and here i am again.


I love this, relate to this, and appreciate the real ness 👌🏻


her voice is so soothing it makes me want to watch this forever


How're you able to be depressed and still film your video's, express your sense of humor, and edit your videos, all the while getting your point across? Depression robs of my creativity and motivation leaving me with an empty feeling and at a complete loss for words.

yeah muscles like typing is so hard when your depressed and moving OM

Literally I don't even get out of bed, I don't talk, I don't move, there is no life

Silentype Student Producer you just learn to accept it and hide it, im depressed and is diagnosed with severe depression but I still go to school normally.

Silentype Student Producer  you know depression, it comes and goes... at the end i guess you learn to live with it and what to do to take care of yourself.

Samuel Mott depression makes me feel the same. But sometimes I get angry because of my illness and start writing, somehow that helps me. Maybe making videos it's her escape


I love that you have a sense of humor about yourself. That helps, thank you.


everything she’s saying is a 100% accurate .


There is hell in hello
There is an end in friend
There is a lie in believe
There is over in lover

But...

There is a GOOD in GOODBYE

There is *hell* in *hello*
There is an *end* in *friend*
There is a *lie* in *believe*
There is *over* in *lover*

But...

There is a *GOOD* in *GOODBYE*


“Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.” It is exactly that. This is insanely relatable. I needed this today.


"No ones natural state should be this bad."

Well yikes, that is pretty much my natural state. I can relate to this video on a spiritual level but it's all the time. It's not a bad day every once and a while. It's all the time.

fas513 First step, look out for therapy. If you already did, look out for people on the internet or irl (would be better)  so you can share your feelings asap. No matter how much u hate people or whatever, try your best to text them once a day or if you have a good day, go outside together. It will be okay.<br>This will not cure your problems  but it will help a lot if continued regularly.

fas513 First step, look out for therapy. If you already did, look out for people on the internet or irl (would be better)  so you can share your feelings asap. No matter how much u hate people or whatever, try your best to text them once a day or if you have a good day, go outside together. It will be okay.
This will not cure your problems  but it will help a lot if continued regularly.


This video came out 2 years ago but still hope you feeling better dodie!


what really hit home for me was when she said 'oh its so bad. I'm so bad.' Depression makes you devalue your self worth and when thing are better you need to acknowledge that you are worth it. To anyone reading this know that once you get through this, and you will get through this, it will be less bad and you will realize that you're not so bad. Yes it sucks now, but it will pass, and when it does you will be so glad it did.


I can't believe that you found the words to describe the state, I struggle so much each time I try and can't always find the right words, but this is very cool to hear since it makes me feel a bit comprehended whenever I'm in those funks as well. Hope you're better now 3 years later c:>


I really felt this. I've only started to go to a therapist recently but I completely agree with how you're feeling. Just nothing is worth doing and you just feel like a heavy blob of bleh. I know this video was made 3 years ago as of writing this, but it just feels so true...


Hey to all those depressed teen / kid I want to tell u that it’s gonna be ok and go to therapy it’s really help and even if your feeling lost and sad just know that it will be over soon  and remember your beautiful and strong and talented an of someone said your not  so he doesn’t know what he’s talking about 😌and take care of yourself

This made me cry! I really needed to hear this today <3


This is exactly how I feel almost every day  and I have a history of self-harm but I don't have depression because I've never been tested


Halfway through the vid I just bursted into tears because I knew exactly what she was explaining felt like


I'd just like to say that i admire how strong you are for even putting this video together on an off day like that. When i get to that point, i don't have the strength to do anything even if i think it would help me. I don't know how you felt or how you summoned up the energy and courage to put this video together for your viewers but thank you so much for sharing this and helping others to know that they're not alone. You are more than amazing and you definitely saved at least one person. So thank you again


I keep coming back to this video because I relate so much. Never heard someone explain it like this before.


The waiting thing is very relatable. I've been waiting 6 months for NHS counselling now. They literally gave me the suicide prevention helpline and were like "hang in there for a bit longer. It'll be around 6 weeks" 6 months later and many phone calls asking if they're forgotten me and I'm still waiting. ☹


I really like this video. I'm so sorry you have to feel this way, but by making this you made people like me feel not so alone on our off days.


Literally exactly how it feels to be depressed


I relate to her so much she is literally explaining my life


i felt and understood everything you said in that video and cannot thank you enough for making it


You spoke my mind today. Almost literally. I’ve been taking an snri for serveral years; works generally well except for off days like today. How are you now? I know this is an old post so I hope are better.

I believe she's been in a pretty alright place recently and she seems to be pretty good.


i’m sorry but i need that “WAY-OOO” at 3:52 as my new text notification

@Along The Lanes heyy I would love to have ist too!!

Along The Lanes hey could you please share the audio with me too :)

@Along The Lanes hey can you share the audio to me too please?

Along The Lanes could u share it with me please?

I may or may not have faffed around in Logic for 10 minutes for exactly that haha I know it's many months ago, but happy to share the audio if you reply ;)

I know how!<br>Turn this video into an MP3 file and then crop it to only play the WAY-OOO, then upload it onto a ringtone app : )

I know how!
Turn this video into an MP3 file and then crop it to only play the WAY-OOO, then upload it onto a ringtone app : )


Every word you said I have thought of and said, I deal with derealization depersonalization daily and depression and anxiety oh god thankyou for making me feel not alone. I literally said everything you had said in this and felt everything ughhht thankyou


This felt more of a Mukbang video than of a depression video.


This is a comfort video of mine. I see you have it unlisted but please never private or delete it.


Your voice and the things you say and sing are the ultimate comfort to me. The only reason I have YouTube premium is so that I can listen to you while I'm doing literally everything


It makes me so sad to think that everything you do you feel spaced out doing it, and that when I saw you in concert I feel bad that it's like you never got the full experience. I've had a few bad days before when I've been super spaced out and I know how it feels so shit. I just wish that I could help you 😢 💕 We love you, and if there's anything that your 'fandom' can do to help, I know we'll all pull through. Love 💚


Hey man, thank you for this. Really well said. The point about "my working brain and my non-working brain are so different, and they have no empathy for each other," was just brilliant. I never considered it a thing of empathy, but it really is. I can't /feel/ for the other side of me when I'm in one end.  And the point about "stop checking" was also really new to me. Just a really relatable and awesome video, thank you. <3


4:10 - 4:40

As someone suffering from derealization/depersonalization that hit me hard. I feel that exact thing all the time, and it fucking sucks.

4:10 - 4:40

As someone suffering from derealization/depersonalization that hit me _hard._ I feel that exact thing all the time, and it _fucking sucks._


Holy shit I can relate so hard to you. Not even half way through this video and I already subscribed 💕


Had a more depressive day today than usual, and this made me feel a better. This is a good explanation, thank you. Today feels like a grey space, or a veil is over my head, so I’m seeing everything through that grey veil.

Or like when you need glasses, and finally get glasses, you realize what you’re missing, like how detailed things like trees are.

That’s depression and for me medication is the glasses. I forgot to refill my prescription for over a month so the depression has kicked back in but hopefully I’ll be back to my goofy self soon.

Thank you for sharing this :)


When you said "Im sorry, Im depressed", I felt that really hard compared to the rest of the things that you said because while Im sure I don't necessarily have depression(that feeling more certain after your explanation of how it makes you feel), I find myself apologizing for when my stresses reach a verbal or visually physical level, and Im the type of person to laugh at my problems and not take them seriously. Someone said I shouldn't apologize for me not being my best, and you saying that triggered that memory. I was starting to forget that memory so thanks, you helped me remember something important 👍💖💜💙


"I feel this longing for something and i'm just not getting it" so accurate!!!!


i really admire people who can articulate their feeling and emotions because ive never been able to even understand myself let alone explain it to others


I always watch this when I’m depressed, for some reason it helps


I always just listen to the Beatles(60s Beatles) when I'm feeling depressed
Are usually just makes my body feel better I guess
And my brain go white
It's better to feel like that then feel nothing and have a blank mind

Omg it sounds super emo but when I am having a bad day/week/month I will just listen to my chemical romance over and over. They are like my comfort blanket because when I was 12 and felt so alone they understood how I felt ;-; so now I jsut get joy from hearing their music.

Pizza and other foods  OH GOD THAT SHORT FILM MADE ME CRY

Pizza and other foods i was about to adress the same question

Usually very dodie yellow? Also, why do you prefer the old Beatles music? (Please tell me you get the reference)

Sorry that was so unbelievably depressing<br>I'm usually very happy person. Very yellow, blue, green, and orange

Sorry that was so unbelievably depressing
I'm usually very happy person. Very yellow, blue, green, and orange


I lost my grandad and my grandpa 1 week ago. I feel so guilty cause I was so mean to them.<br>😢😓😭😔

I lost my grandad and my grandpa 1 week ago. I feel so guilty cause I was so mean to them.
😢😓😭😔


I could not relate more. I love this video. Thank you for uploadinggg.


this video is so nostalgic for me (not bad or good, just oddly familiar) I was in a place like this roughly two years ago. it was mostly the "nothing makes me feel good, there's nothing I want to do, nothing is working" and crying when I would get home. I remember exactly how it felt, but I don't feel it nearly as often. Back then I was convinced antidepressants would make me feel "fake emotions" like I was meant to be depressed or something. old me was a silly pal. I'm doing loads better than I was then, but there were still good times. it was so rocky, very back and forth between feeling and the lack of it.
in a way I feel like that time made me who I am, but if I had to go back I wouldn't ever want to go through that again.

this video is so nostalgic for me (not bad or good, just oddly familiar) I was in a place like this roughly two years ago. it was mostly the "nothing makes me feel good, there's nothing I want to do, nothing is working" and crying when I would get home. I remember exactly how it felt, but I don't feel it nearly as often. Back then I was convinced antidepressants would make me feel "fake emotions" like I was *meant* to be depressed or something. old me was a silly pal. I'm doing loads better than I was then, but there were still good times. it was so rocky, very back and forth between feeling and the lack of it.
in a way I feel like that time made me who I am, but if I had to go back I wouldn't ever want to go through that again.


I'm speechless.

On August 2018, I got depressed for the first time in my life and still going on up until now (it gets better). I used to be a happy and a very positive and mindful person and i never once doubt myself.

I've been searching for explanations of what i was going through but none of them fit my category. I still wouldn't be able to describe my depression..

Until you start telling how depression feels like, i never been more relieved in my life that i started tearing up. I think this the closest description to my depression


I don’t know how many times I’ve watched this. it just justifies depression is different for everyone, we all have different experiences and in different intensities. Some days we don’t want to get out of bed when others we can do everyday things and paint on an exhausting social face. Romanticisation of mental illness is a killer and makes those suffering feel worse, this video is an example of how even though sometimes people don’t look like it they could be suffering alone. We need to be upfront no matter how hard it can be.


I always come back to this video on days like this. And I feel this so hard rn


I relate to this video so much i'm watching it all the time

then i realize that sucks because being depressed kills every little piece of joy in my life. I have so much envy of people who don't suffer from a mental ilness


i wrote a little poem/song about depersonalization. it's not good but i'm still learning how to write:

feel again

another day goes past another
everyday is just a blur
how i wish i could just go back
go back to how things were

nothing feels real anymore
the world seems so thin
all i want is just one thing
and that's to feel again

no one seems to understand
that somethings wrong with my brain
is something really wrong with me
or am i just insane?

AGAIN, ITS NOT THE BEST BUT IM LEARNING

when i feel down or discouraged i just come back here and read all of your comments, they make me so happy and motivated :)

• reagan • that is amazing, I have no idea what to say

• reagan • Really great poem! Very relatable

thank you guys, reading all your kind messages really made my day :)

This is so beautiful!!! It's so nice when someone mirrors exactly what you're feeling through art

This is wonderful. Totally depicts how depersonalisation feels. Thank you for putting it into words xx

oh my god i just realized i said "does past another" instead of "goes past another" ITS FIXED NOW BUT BDHXHABXB

Phil's Eyelash im actually working on it right now! i'm going to play it on ukulele and i'm figuring out chords atm :)

THIKS IS SO GOO D SOMEONE MAEK A SONG OUT OF RBIS PLEASE

• reagan • this is very good xx and we pretty much have the same name !! this is so uncommon for me

Purple Navy the link isn't working :( i really wanna hear it!

so the lyrics inspired me a bit and i recorded myself singing this, and i thought i'd share it (i hope it's okay)
here a link (there is 2 versions because well i'm not sure why but whatever the shortest is a bit better i think) https://soundcloud.com/user-86244028

• reagan • oh my gosh. i read that to the tune of addict with a pen what is my life. that is awesome though! i reminds me of tøp

• reagan • it's so beautiful! stay alive |-/

NightyNightcore ive tried but i can't find the right tune yet

• reagan • holy shite i relate too much heck

Every poem can be sang as a song, have you tried it with yours? has a ring

I will admit I thought you were referring to me even though I haven't written anything yet.

THIS IS IT. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT FEELS

ThatTVaddict t ill work on it more after school, i hope your day gets better :)

That influence by tøp is awesome. but man yeah I got you, that is really good, I like it!

• reagan • please sing that and finish it.  today is the worst for ne and I can't  stop crying.

Beautiful writing, Regan <3 You're so not alone with thinking and feeling this.

That's a wonderful poem! At least you are expressing yourself and that's ok :)

• reagan • fren this is awesome and beautiful,keep working you're amazing!

• reagan • no fren that's so good! Definitely keep it up!

thanks everyone, it really means a lot :)

this is really profound and I really like it, keep writing, you're very good at it!!

Please continue it or write more it's amazing ❤

People are seeing it :) Thanks for sharing

no ones gonna see this but i thought i'd share anyway


You make eating green beans look delicious


I worry every time you make this video public. Are you okay right now, Dodie? Do you need someone to talk to?


I started to tear up on how relatable this is 💔💔💔


This sounded like a beautifully sad song 😭❤


UGH, girl, I'm in the exact same goddamn boat. Miserable. I'm comforted to know that many miles away someone understands my situation that I look up to so much. It's just a process. A process is neither good nor bad. It just is. This just is. And until we can fix it, we fight back. I believe in you. ❤

it really is which is one reason its disscoruaging to actually try to make videos.

thewewguy8t88 I feel like if you get any kind of following that's likely though, which is awful and disheartening. :/

yeah for me i do not have neutral expectations which i was i did but i
cant for me its all or nothing kind of thing.  do not get me wrong there
 are people i enjoy following but they post content that is different
and not as personal and is about topics i like and enjoy hearing people
talk about. like its complicated for me people who talk more about their
 personal life as a topic more then anything seem empty to me and make
me kind of sad because like i said i feel like if i was to do the same
thing i would get told to kill myself because i was so bad. but i mean
for i also can understand she built up a fan base before she was
comfortable posting videos so it makes sense.

thewewguy8t88 That makes sense! There's lots of people on YouTube who have an insane amount of followers and people relating to them that I frankly can't begin to like or relate to. To no fault of their own, I just don't click with them, and maybe that's Dodie for you. I personally relate to her a lot, we're the same age, have similar likes and interest, senses of humor, and so on. I really enjoy hearing her thoughts and her content overall, but it's not as though everyone as to. She's not in the wrong for you not liking or relating to her, just as much as you're not in the wrong for feeling that way in the first place. You could be the most perfect delicious flawless peach in the entire world, and there will still be someone who just simply doesn't like peaches. There's to many of us for everyone to like and relate to everyone, haha. I live my life with neutral expectations for people, I don't expect anyone to understand me or enjoy me as much as I don't expect them to misunderstand me or dislike me. Makes life less complicated.

yeah thank you your words honestly feel more vaidating to me then anything this girl puts in her videos. like despesiate the fact that she is a person talking to a camera honestly that is all this person feels like a person talking to a camera and its hard for me to relate to someone like that since while i am sure its not intentenal talking to a camera feels scriped like its not real where as you what you are typing feels and sounds real and guneune and like i said that means more then any words someone can say to a camera can. i wont lie i may have a simular issue where i cant fully understand why and how people can get commfort from a vlog but i am getting a bit more of context as to who this person is and why she may mean a lot to so many people. for me i cant get comfrot from people like her because of several personal reasons not because of her but because of my own personal experiences with people like her. people like her upset me to be honest and its because people like her do not try to show they are different and everyone expects me to to understand and have different expectiations when dealing with people like her. i expect/expected people like her when they say and act like they can relate to me to be like me and to want to interact with people who say they can relate to them but again i got told i was wrong for expecting that. and i understand why but that just causes more issues for me.

thewewguy8t88 That feels to me like people in your life probably don't have anything like depression, anxiety, etc to deal with themselves, at least not without tangible environmental cause, you know? My parents were very similar, my mom has never dealt with anything like this to this day, but my dad slipped a disk while he was unemployed and on top of feeling just kinda worthless and down in the dumps being out of work and hurt, his medications brought on a sort of induced depression and now he can understand me a little more. You're not whining, don't let anyone make you believe that. I think it's important you keep reaching out even if you get backlash, people minimize what they can't fully understand. It's not fair, but at least it puts some meaning to the madness.

yeah thanks thats good to know actually about your friend i am happy to hear he is doing well and it makes me feel a tiny bit better to know someone else is expericing something like what i am exepriecing. like i said i feel like most people simpfly things to find an outlet for yourself and you will automatically be happy which i do not think its that simple since sometimes someone just does not have an outlet. like you said you have to find independent genunine enjoyment from something and i do and i can but truth is sometimes it only lasts for so long and even worse sometimes if i am not doing something i know can make me happy i get sad and upset and again people just tell me i am being a whiny baby. like i said rarely do people actually try to talk to me to understand why i am upset most people just tell me to stop being upset.

thewewguy8t88 There's no wrong way to feel about any of it. You kind of remind me of my friend, he's a recovering alcohol and pill addict (that's not the part that reminds me of you, lol) and he feels good when he's busy, when he's with friends, and then he gets alone and the demons crawl back out. He's so strong and hasn't slipped back in two years total sobriety, but he struggles. He's been doing really well lately though, sticking to self reflection, thinking about his life a little less personally and trying to find things and hobbies that do distract him. He teaches me so much every day about recognizing my own faults and my own struggles but not letting myself stop living for letting happiness in because of them. I think distractions are amazing, only if you're able to find some kind of independent, genuine enjoyment from them. I use videos and music for that too. :) Just remember that even if everything is not ideal, you have love in your life. That's pretty dang cool.

thank you your comment helps me feel a bit better. but you are lucky to me you are right i am honestly happy for you to be able to feel better. i cant right now truth is i can but not stably like ironically i can be happy with my friends when i see them or talk to them sometimes because they kind of wont let me. and i dont want to be that way in front of them. i want to be postitive and happy in front of them and while i am with them. but when i am alone i have no real reason to be poistive or happy unless i am watching videos that do make me happy or playing video games but those last only so long before i get tired of those things and then where am i.  i mean also slightly the same for music too(the typical thing that makes everyone happy when they are upset) to me its a disstraction not a means to stop feeling upset when i am upset and lonely i want and need support from other human beings i know that sounds different from most people and again i get an impression its a wrong way of feeling and typical advice i would get is i need profesional help. or i need to stay off the intnernet  and disstract myself and yeah disstracting myself lasts only so long so it feels like professional help is the only thing that can work for me apparently to most people instead of i dont know like i said actually trying to be  supportive and understanding like i can see you are doing right now :)

thewewguy8t88 That's understandable! There's a lot to watch on here, many stories and many ideas that hopefully converge more with yours and can help you feel more related to. I understand you completely actually! I'm 21, and it wasn't until I was about 18 that I had a good relationship with my family and could talk about these thing without being called dramatic, annoying, a liar, a bitch, the list goes on. And I remember feeling all of these awful things like this as a very young girl. I'm lucky to have had that change in my life where I feel valid and not crazy talking about my mental health, perhaps yours isn't quite here yet, you know? Even if we're in different places and mind sets, don't be afraid to reach out every once in a while. I've been told I'm a good support system. Sending lots of well wishes your way. :)

well like i said it does not help me at all. i myself need support from someone i can relate too right now maybe thats selfish and wrong of me to say and makes me nothing but a selfish spoiled whinny brat who is throwing a temmper trantuim to say exactly what i want but i want support from someone i can realte too. thing about this video and most youtubers who make videos like this is they only give me half of what i want and half is not enough for me. and no one ever tires to give me fully what i need. and like i said the response is grow up and get over it you are not depressed you are just a tolder or baby throwing a temper traintrum. i am sick and tired of it. i am sick and tired of no one giving me support and just telling me ignore things or get over it or disstract yourself from feeling this way and never ever just supporting me telling me yes i feel the same way you do and its okay i get it and understand lets try to figure this out this out together.

thewewguy8t88 I think you're missing why it comforted me. It doesn't comfort me to think at least I'm not doing worse like children starving in Africa. It's important to reflect on that, but it's not comforting when you're already driving on a highway wondering how much it would actually hurt to slam into the wall beside you and feel finally peaceful, you know? This helped me because I've been waking up for months feeling all of her feelings, yesterday especially. And while I don't have depersonalization, I've had a hard time grasping reality because of these chemical things I can't control. A doctor told me recently I may need psychiatric treatment for bipolar disorder, and I don't have any means of seeking the treatment I actually need because of money. Even paying $30 for that visit is stressful. I felt comforted watching this because Dodie has been seeking treatment for herself for months, being told they don't know how to help her yet, and is still trying. That's why I look up to her. It's sometimes quite literally debilitating to feel this way, but her being so transparent about it helps me remember that I'm not crazy, just a little unbalanced. Removing stigma is something to look up to, I think.

well its nice that you can look up to her. i however can not look up to someone like this and it does not help to know someone miles away is in the same situation. i mean i may as well tell myself everytime i feel sad at least i am not a straving child in affrica or at least i am not dead for all the good knowing someone i do not even know and cant even speak too is feeling the same way i am.

what a nice attitude! definitely fight back!! <3 <3


its like she's reading my unreadable thoughts and emotions for me. ahh thank you


I get you fam, Waiting sucks ass. <br>I’ve had to wait to get my thyroid tested too just to convince my mom I might need to go to a therapist then I had to wait to see them, now I’m waiting for one of those dna test things to come back and see what I’m predisposed to genetically and wait til I’m 18 and in college to get help ughhhh

I get you fam, Waiting sucks ass.
I’ve had to wait to get my thyroid tested too just to convince my mom I might need to go to a therapist then I had to wait to see them, now I’m waiting for one of those dna test things to come back and see what I’m predisposed to genetically and wait til I’m 18 and in college to get help ughhhh


i keep  watching this because thats exactly how i feel and it helps


i can relate to this so much, it's weird but i felt better watching your video. Thanks


It's so great seeing a person u admire feel the feelings u do and show this side of themselves, but then u remember "Oh shit, it's not a fun feeling. I'm sorry it sucks." <b>awkward shoulder pat</b>

It's so great seeing a person u admire feel the feelings u do and show this side of themselves, but then u remember "Oh shit, it's not a fun feeling. I'm sorry it sucks." *awkward shoulder pat*


This hit parts of me, I didn't know existed. I literally related to every word of this.


I used to watch this and feel the same way, had a lot of off days. Today for the first time I watched the video and didn't relate. I feel something like hope today. So in case you are wondering if you will get out of this pit of depression and despair - yes. there is hope.


I got so excited at the though of watching a specific show, and like halfway through I was like " I don't like this anymore" then I was like let me watch this other show that I really really really like but then I was like "ugh" I fell asleep and woke up and like my whole body was fucking HEAVY and I have like a cold yea but it's not a cold kind of sickness and then I cried and now I'm online so yea plus my apartment is dirty and I hate it and I'm like ok I gotta clean but now it's like really hard to get up so 🤷


I relate to this. I used to be so happy and grateful but now my lows are getting worse and death looks peaceful. Death has become a goal and a dream.


I always come back to this video when I’m going through my depressive episodes. Hi, I’m back.


If only I had seen this sooner I would've known I wasn't so alone in what I was feeling.. Everything, i mean literally everything you're saying is exactly how I felt for years before I started my medication (been on them for about a year now)! Like the part where you happy and convinced that everything is super, but then when you're sad you just wanna say 'fuck you' to your happy self for being in denial. Hope things are better for you now though, all my love to you Dodie!<3


The only thing I can say, is that I feel exactly this way


It’s funny, cause Depression comes in so many different forms but yet everyone who talks about it can relate to the other people who describe it even tho they might all be going through different situations, it’s good to share these things with us, it helps to know you’re not alone


Thank you, I think I need to see a therapist because I’ve felt like this for a while


when she started to discribe how she felt with her depression, i really felt like someone knew how i felt to. i felt the exact same way that she felt


I want to cry really bad but i just cant lol
Update: I learned how to correctly deal with my emotions and crying is like a routine to me now, talking about it is easier too
Sending good energy to all of you!

Joy Turina reading this makes me so happy! I’m glad you’re doing better

Feel ya.. I lost some of ny friends because depression.. I cried but i didnt feel like.. Anything. Sadness a little bit.. Dunno...

sometimes a cry can give temporary healing to those negative thoughts.

I’ve gotten to that point lol crying used to feel like a release. Almost like when you have the stomach flu and want to puke cause you know you’ll instantly feel better. Crying used to do that for me feeling like this and now I don’t even have the energy to cry lol cause I know it won’t help. Or relieve anything. Which sucks. So now I have no release.

Joy Turina I’m so sorry it’s gotten to that point.


i always come back to this video when I have these days. you remind me that i'm not the only one.. love you dodes


I know this video is old, but it is so relatable I had to comment. Thank you for being so open. Oh lord I have more blood work and other testing. I feel like a lab rat.


I always watch this when I'm feeling depressed. Like now!


I have exactly the same thing Doddlevloggle, when I look at things in the distance I don't even recognise where I am and everything looks almost like a painting. It's very surreal.  This all happened for me after a migraine aura. In fact, you can have chronic silent migraines without any head pain and get all these weird symptoms. It might be something to consider or mention to your doctor. I was diagnosed with migraine variant balance disorder aka vestibular migraine and a lot of people have exactly these symptoms. It could be that this is actually going on with you too, and yes, you can have a silent migraine aura without head pain for years!


I'm not sure if I'm depressed today. I just feel really bad so I don't go to work. But your voice is so beautiful, it makes me feel a tinge better. Thank you dodie, gonna share this to my depressed friends.


You've described my depression exactly. :(


This reminds me of that one time when I was so depressed I wanted to die ( die , not kill myself... there is a difference 😗 ) and that feeling actually stayed for almost a week but after I stopped being depressed I couldn't believe that I actually wanted to die , like it didn't sound real that I felt that way , like I'm an optimistic person so it really shocked me , though I still have these days where I do get depressed for literally no reason ( mayhaps my period and hormones have a part to do with it 🙃 ) but that time I think it was the worst


I never felt this relatable with anything in my life


Just one little thing about the medications. The sheet probably says it, but if it doesn't I want you to know. They're not an immediate fix, but at the right dose for a few weeks and slowly but surely you'll start to see improvements. I hope for you that you can find something soon that can help you feel a little bit less depressed on those depressed days. 💛💚💜

Marie Diamandis yeah...citalopram was nasty for me too... im on fluoxetine now. which seems like its not too bad. ive only been on it for 2 weeks and it hasnt given me any crazy side effects.

hanzib31 I had such a bad experience on citalopram! Just had like the worst 6 months of my life. They made everything so much worse :/

alittlemoreme i took mine for.. like 9 or 10 months. I felt no difference whatsoever. sometimes they even made me feel more anxious (i was taking them for social anxiety and depression).

hanzib31 I agree, the drugs should be the last option. I can imagine it being very scary :/ hope you're feeling better!

Sara yes i did. i took them for a few weeks as the dr said the side effects would most likely calm down...when they didnt, i stopped. he tried me on a few others but they did nothing...like i literally couldnt even tell id taken anything.

im aware of how theyre meant to work. ive studyed ssris and depression quite deeply in multiple courses Ive done via uni and via personal research. i know they work for some and not for others.

i just always feel the need to.let people know that they dont always help ...sometimes they make things worse. and people need to be careful with them.
i know they arent a cure. and i was never expecting them to be...but i definitely wasnt expecting my whole body to totally reject them so much. it was scary.
😣

hanzib31 did you talk to your doctor about this? With psyc meds it's <b>really</b> important to find the right type/dose and to see if you actually need them at all. Everyone reacts differently. The point of taking them is not to "cure" you from depression, your body very often does that by itself. The point is to make the process more bearable (or in extreme cases to stop the patient from doing anything that can't be undone). You should absolutely not have to stick through it and keep eating them, if they are making your depression worse :(

hanzib31 did you talk to your doctor about this? With psyc meds it's *really* important to find the right type/dose and to see if you actually need them at all. Everyone reacts differently. The point of taking them is not to "cure" you from depression, your body very often does that by itself. The point is to make the process more bearable (or in extreme cases to stop the patient from doing anything that can't be undone). You should absolutely not have to stick through it and keep eating them, if they are making your depression worse :(

alittlemoreme sertraline destroyed me...and one of my friends more recently...
i took it for 4 weeks last january ('16) and i didnt sleep, couldnt eat, was having panic attacks, vomiting and was just a big mess...way worse than without the meds.
my friend had similar symptoms this year and recently tried to commit suicide by overdosing on them because she felf so shit on them.
ssris are some intense drugs that can help...but can also ruin your life.
be careful with meds. they can make things way worse.

+++ came here to say this :) they're not "happy pills" and they do have side effects, but if just therapy isn't helping, a combination of the two might!


Accurate description of how i felt for 10years of my life till i started medication and therapy then i became a normal human being.


I fit into EVERYTHING SHE SAID (Especially the waiting list with NHS,  I'm going through that atm its pretty frustrating)


4:18- 4:39 i literally hate how i cried because of how much i can emotionally relate to that rant


This is the best explanation of depression EVER. It obviously feels different for everyone but to me this is just soo relatable and I feel like this is super easy for people without depression to understand and get an idea of what it feels like


i hope your okay dodie, look your always a good youtuber, you should just try to take some time off maybe?? that could be a great excuse because you might be stressed off out of being famous on youtube for uploading most of the time?? you should just try your best to be whoever you are, because your not the only one. i love you dodie, this is my message to you from eliot.

She's said that she finds making videos gives her purpose and is really therapeutic for her. So maybe more regularly would be good? :)


I’m so glad this exists cause I needed to hear it from someone that they have it too


Stay strong, I’ve been in your position before it will get better I promise, stay strong stay happy, it will be a painful transition I promise you it will get better we all do


I'm so thankful I haven't had a serious episode in years, but it's still hard.


I have been feeling like this, every single day, for 4+ weeks straight. Somebody please, please help me. I'm so tired.


everything i have felt for many years in one video.


When she said, “ hey you’re feeling better, you’re going to feel better again, it’s a lie and I’m lying to myself and this is how I naturally feel” I felt that


I just thought that I was and am incredibly lazy. And that I’d have days that I’m just stupidly lazy and not want to do anything including eating, drinking, hygiene etc. but then I watched this video. And the more words came out of her mouth the more my eyes started to well up.
Thank you for this. For posting this. This has helped me a great deal
Edit: especially the bit about getting depressed in a social situation. And glazed eyes and just giving nothing.


I always see this video when I am depressed cause she says everything I want to say and can’t tell anyone


I love how you talk about this. It makes me feel a bit better somehow


meditation is the key to deppresion and also having goals in life and a purpose......i know how it feels to be depressed,tried it for years. for anyone struggling from deppression take my word for it please do the 2 things above.


God damn! Preach it! So true. Everything. I wonder how it feels to not be depressed


I first heard your voice from this amazing sample of a song, "Blur.JPG" by Danke
https://soundcloud.com/iamdanke/blur
I cry almost everytime listening to it


This is exactly what I feel and think everyday


I've watched this video like 3 times in the past 24 hours. You are just so eloquent and refreshingly candid and honest while talking about depression. I really appreciate you sharing so much of yourself and your emotions (or lack thereof) with us, the internet™. It helps me feel real and not like a bad human. Thanks, Dodie!


Thank you for this video. This is insanely relatable unfortunately.


Feel the same way. It’s a struggle daily. This world is just getting worse. It’s extremely hard to find happiness or purpose now.


This is honnestly one of my favorite videos on Youtube🤷♀


I know I just commented but as I keep watching the video it actually scares me how everything you’re describing is everything I went through. Especially the feeling “blind” part, it’s like everything is foggy and you literally can’t see. And before this depression I had over the summer I never really understood what depression was, I thought it was just kinda being sad but it’s SO much more than that. I had my thyroid tested and everything else too but everything came back normal. Depression is so insane, after experiencing it I just want to hold everyone else in the world that is dealing with it


I love you so much...I wish I could make videos about all of this stuff like you do but, Im terrified that it wont come out right. Like, I'll say the wrong thing or my anxiety will flare up and I'll start getting visibly nervous on screen and people will think Im a fucking weirdo or something. :(


i always come back to this video when i’m sad :)


2:07 3:52 and 4:57 You managed to make things less depressing.


come here a lot when im feeling stuck. helps a lot to hear someone else. and yes waiting waiting waiting, its been 14 months of trying to get treatment and im still getting sent away and referred and everything is a whirlpool


I feel like I'm talking to my friend on Skype and she's telling me a story and you don't reply to anything and they just carry on without ur approval and it's the best thing EVEr


i love this sm like i love everything about it ❤


I wish I could have depressed days from time to time.<br>Cause this video is me every day.

I wish I could have depressed days from time to time.
Cause this video is me every day.


please open your video to be subtitled, I'm a translator and I would love my friends to know you and to learn more about depression, and you always make good and real videos about it


You’re so good at describing this holy hell :’’’’(


we all love and are here for you dodie! you're beautiful kind and brave plus where would we be without dodie yellow! have a wonderful day I hope you're feeling better soon xxx


I get this so hard, 1 million percent. I've watched this video a few times. the last time was months ago when I thought everything was absolutely horrible and nothing felt right at all. Now everything is worse and it has been getting worse, now I finally get this video so hard and I understand the constant negative and the slapping yourself with the 'WHY WONT IT STOP!' it sucks. I just want it to stop. Fuck.


dodie, have you ever had anyone think you may have bipolar? i'm sending my love. hold on.


You know, I watched this years ago before I started having real mental health issues and didn't get it.
I come back now while going THRU it with depression and anxiety and having to see a therapist.
I get it now.


I relate to you so much! I have so much derealization, which makes me depressed and hopeless..


"I've got a secret for the mad
in a little bit of time it won't hurt so bad"

Thank you so much for writing that song! I think I would have gone insane without it. I've had chronic fatigue syndrome for a bit over a year now and on my worst days, everything seems completely meaningless and hopeless. You and your songs help me through it by reminding me that it's when I'm healthy and happy I see the world clearly and my bad days will pass. Good luck with medication and therapy!


"feel like I cant open my eyes wide enough" wow I have had that exact feeling!


This is how I felt yesterday. Definitely.


i’m not sure if i’ve commented here before but i keep going back to this video when i feel down. i don’t say depressed bc i’m not completely sure i even am and i don’t want to assume when lots of people have it worse than me.

but i recently made an internet friend and she vents to me about things and i’m fine with it bc she doesn’t rly have anyone to talk to abt this so i take the role. anyway these past two weeks has been shit, actually this whole quarantine is shit but these past few weeks were shittier than usual for multiple reasons. and she’s venting to me as usual & i wanna vent too but idk,, it just feels weird. i wanna be there for her y’know and i don’t wanna make her feel even more sad so i just let her talk.

i don’t wanna be a burden.
i just kinda feel lost and numb and everything feels the same and i just keep doing the same things everyday and i’m fucking tired of all of it.


I absolutely love your sweater. Sorry, I know this is supposed to be a semi-serious/ serious video but like THAT'S A REALLY HECCIN NICE SWEATER


I thank you for being able to put those particular feelings into words because i find that so difficult to do. <br>Mental illness fucking sucks and i feel your pain Dodie.

I thank you for being able to put those particular feelings into words because i find that so difficult to do.
Mental illness fucking sucks and i feel your pain Dodie.


I really can relate with the part when you say "you know objectively". Because that's what happened to me, too. I study psychology in college. I have a fairly good understanding about myself. I'm very familiar with different types of mental illnesses since I learn thoroughly about them in class. And I also understand about self-care, self-acceptance, and yada yada yada all those things.

So it's very frustrating when at times, I felt so down. I'm more anxious than depressed, but it's still bad lol. And it sucks when you realize what's happening inside your brain and you actually know what's the right thing to do, but you keep falling to same hole over and over again. (Idk, I just rambling lol)

Anyway, for those who are reading, stay strong! :") Please seek help if you feel that you can't deal with it by yourself. It might be shitty today, and I can't guarantee you it won't be shitty tomorrow, but it will get better. Maybe not in the near future, but it will. It will.

I really can relate with the part when you say "you know objectively". Because that's what happened to me, too. I study psychology in college. I have a fairly good understanding about myself. I'm very familiar with different types of mental illnesses since I learn thoroughly about them in class. And I also understand about self-care, self-acceptance, and yada yada yada all those things.

So it's very frustrating when at times, I felt so down. I'm more anxious than depressed, but it's still bad lol. And it sucks when you realize what's happening inside your brain and you actually know what's the right thing to do, but you keep falling to same hole over and over again. (Idk, I just rambling lol)

Anyway, for those who are reading, stay strong! :") Please seek help if you feel that you can't deal with it by yourself. It might be shitty today, and I can't guarantee you it won't be shitty tomorrow, but *it will get better.* Maybe not in the near future, but it will. It will.


The "like my chest is heaving, like I'm longing for something I'm not getting" kinda fucking hit me as I feel like that right... now so


jesus i feel this almost every day now. i have the odd hour where i actually feel happy, but then everything gets so bad afterwards, worse than when im usually depressed. i can’t see a doctor about anything because there is no way my parents will react well, so i have to wait until i can get help, which will probably be in a couple of years.


this is me right now, today. I’ve tried to get out cause it’s nice and sunny outside and most of the time that works, but my self esteem is low and my anxiety’s high and i don’t want to have any social interactions with anybody cause I don’t want them too see me. And then my anxiety kicks it’s way into my brain even more and reminds me to worry about things I need to do and it all just feels like one big mess of a cycle. ughhhhhhhhhhhh I should probably see a therapist I know but it’s hard for me to tell people how I feel and how they’ll react. I hugely appreciate you posting this video, it makes me feel less alone rn


To all those who experience symptoms of depression and want help, MEDS WORK! They work for most people. They've made me so much better. So much better. And if they end up not working for you, hey at least you tried and anyways, there are loads of different meds and maybe you'll find one with your doctor that helps you. (: I find people are so scared of medication. But it helps loads (:

Shen Rushin I'm on the strongest dose of mine and they're still doing nothing🙃

Shen Rushin mine made me more depressed... whenever i took them I'd get furious.."why do I do this to make me happy, I hate this" so I threw them away

Shen Rushin Meds haven't worked for me thus far but I'm glad they have worked for so many of you! I've tried 20+ different medications in different combinations while also doing CBT/DBT therapy.

it's so true, it's not a magic cure but with things like therapy and self care they can really help. It can take time to find the right one(s) and the right dosages but it's worth the trial and error. Also, on a good day you can look up some common ones and get an idea of what you're looking at in terms of timeframe and side-effects so you can make an informed decision, even if you are talking with the doctor on a super shitty day and honestly don't care in the moment.

Shen Rushin they worked for me too! now I am almost one year on meds and I'll soon start decreasing the amount so that's me getting better! everything is way better than it used to be.

@JoBeth Rose i feel you. Only way I've been able to afford help is because of the decent healthcare I have in California. Money is such an issue for so many people and I wish it wasn't :( maybe you have a support counselor at your school? Youd have someone who knows about this stuff to talk to. You'd pay nothing and I've found that they're actually alright to talk to. (: good luck

Shen Rushin I want to be on meds so much but I don't have the money and my dad said that depression isn't real and I'm just seeking attention. :(

@Winterholidaylights I really hope you find the solution you've been waiting for! (: good luck

Shen Rushin I'm currently on a 4 month waiting list for a psychiatrist, so it's good to hear that finally I might find a solution :)

@Awkward Pizza the input is great. And yeah.. there is always another side to things, sadly.

@Tammy Dawson self therapy and therapists are great. I have a therapist and a journal and all that jazz. It's more a personal thing than anything, I just feel like I can only cheer my self up to a 75 percent and the meds improve my life all the way up to a 95 percent. But honestly, if people can get by with therapy, and journals, and self care, that's amazing

Shen Rushin thanks!! I really need to make my mom understand that skipping school from sadness and weakness is not normal. I hope I get it through her head

Shen Rushin thing is, not all medications work for people. Most doctors just throw random chemicals together and call it a antidepressant, just like from Dave from boyinaband his medication works, but not as well as he wants it to, he's tried medication but it didn't work. As well with me, I've tried 10 different medications and the rest I can't take, so medications don't always work for people, so people rely on just the stuff that may help them and people to cheer them up, etc. sorry if i rambled on this is my opinion and a lot other people's view of depression and medications

but meds dont cure it. you become dependent on them & the side affects could very well kick in & make you aggressive. I recommend self recovery & a therapist & keeping a journal but that's my opinion

Belinda Weber aww.. I hope you find something else in your life that helps (: and good luck with your life (:

@Hannah Sexton that's great! Dude I always forget to take mine at night lol... I normally just take them in the morning because I forget so much

Shen Rushin oh my god this is kinda unrelated but this comment reminded me to take my antidepressants tonight thank you so much for commenting this I would have forgotten otherwise

Shen Rushin I'm glad they work for you. Been down those paths for the last 20+ years without luck.

@Josefina oh of course! Dodie's comments sections are always so supportive I love it! Lol

thank you all for your comments, I'm about to start taking meds, but I was kinda worried. this really helped.

@Ren CC oh no! I'm sorry for your brother and I understand why you'd feel that way! Maybe you could talk with your personal doctor about side effects of antidepressants. Prozac (my understanding of it is) that it's a really low-risk kind of medication that is given to most people. You might want to look into that? Being not depressed is wonderful, I personally will put up with the possibility of side effects. And good luck with your life (:

Anna Kuykendall Thanks! I'll try it when I have the opportunity

Ren CC if you can get meds you should at least try them, i have tons of friends they help but i know one who had to switch between a few kinds because they changed him but he finally found a kind that works and they help him a lot

I really need them but my brother takes one for like distraction or something else and changes completely he is so serious and cold. I am afraid that it will change me, and my mother thinks that I am depressed but not that serious but I know it and I don't have money to a therapist anymore<br>Oh god

I really need them but my brother takes one for like distraction or something else and changes completely he is so serious and cold. I am afraid that it will change me, and my mother thinks that I am depressed but not that serious but I know it and I don't have money to a therapist anymore
Oh god

Shen Rushin well i wish i could but my parents think depression is "just feeling sorry for yourself" and that its a fad and that's completely insane but they dont support me getting therapy or meds so im just surviving without them til i move out i suppose which is only in like 3 years but it feels like a life time

Georgina Drake that's amazing. That's so great

They do work, and none of them are the same!!! doeses are different person to person!!!!!!! I finally found the right one for me about 5 months ago and now I dont need it anymore. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE THEM YOUR WHOLE LIFE. Im off of it and I feel great. depression IS cureable!!!

Shen Rushin I don't have personal experience with them but they gave me my brother back when I thought he was past the point of no return. Please, if you're thinking of trying them, do 🙏
Ps, I believe in and love you all, I really do ❤ you matter ❤

Shen Rushin I don't have personal experience with them but they gave me my brother back when I thought he was past the point of no return. Please, if you're thinking of trying them, do 🙏
Ps, I believe in and love you all, I really do ❤ *you* matter ❤

ya but some people are afraid that they're gonna have to rely on the pill for the rest of their life to feel better. that's why my mom decided not to take them.


When you eat snap peas (if that’s what they’re called) like the ones dodie are eating do you eat just the peas inside or can you eat the whole thing? Thanks lol


It doesn't matter if I'm depressed or not. I can't afford to get help anyway

But this is nice of u to educated people on this


I am watching this in quarantine and as soon as I started watching it, it started raining.

Mood


i feel like i just had a really good chat with a friend. thanks dodes. Hope youre feeling better soon man. <3


I’ve never seen someone hit it so spot on


Hey Dodie, I love watching your videos about depression/mental heath cuz hearing you talk about how you deal with it and what helps makes me feel like I'm not alone and that everyone feels sad and lonely sometimes. So honestly, just thank you!