If you know and understand that your sadness comes from an imbalance of chemicals in your brain and you really want it to stop but you physically can't will it to, then you go onto anti-depressants to fixed the imbalance of chemicals. Anti-depressants often act as a temporary fix if you aren't mentally prepared to get better however if you are mentally prepared to fix yourself then often a 6 month course (that's all) can make you right as rain indefinitely. Ps the wonky side effects are incomparably small compared to depression. Show less REPLY
Googled Copy and paste font generator, typed in Maggie like "M a g g I e" with a space between each letter, then clicked my desired font, "small caps".
I agree with that as well, the only issue is idk if I actually am suffering from it or just have ridiculous mood swings. But i have notice that when I am surrounded with people who make me laugh especially I seem to be able to just focus on the moment in itself and not the other stuff. Those people are the ones who have their phones in their pocket instead of their face, and know how to socialize. I hope that all of you can find people like that in your lives as well.
my private counsellor met me for the first time two days ago, and she told me something that really opened my eyes. she told me when you disassociate, it's your body's way of protecting itself. i have bad anxiety, and the body knows how painful and exhausting it is to constantly feel too much and in exchange coats everything in a gloopy numbing cream that makes everything blend into one. she said it was a coping mechanism, so before we can deal with the heaviness and unreality of living, you have to deal with the underlying emotion first. this is the only way i can picture feeling content the way i used to. x
Yes, I can add weight to this. Treating and processing the underlying trauma is necessary to relieving the condition ultimately. You do have to be present enough to bring the pieces back together and process them though, so in a way its a bit of a catch22. Thats why medication & talk therapy together is recommended for DP/DR, even better if you go into therapy aware of what could have set it off. Best of luck and hope you can get into therapy too
Any time, I know its a rough and isolating experience. How long have you been in DP now and are you finding it easier to deal with? I've been in 1 year & 2 months, I'm still waiting for talk therapy to coincide with my meds in case I get a window in which to process, did you go private? sorry for all the questions, stay strong too :)
lucy and lila2017-09-01 18:17:56 (edited 2017-09-01 18:20:31 )
On rewiring brains: On the 18th I am going to hospital in London for 3 weeks. I will be there for intensive physiotherapy and regular therapy. I currently have a disease that means my nerves tell me that I'm in excruciating pain, that everything I touch is hurting me. The plan is that they will 'rewire' my brain to understand that nothing is hurting me, that my body is safe. The pain that I feel is real, but it is also not. I don't know if it will work. It's called desensitization training - training my body to not feel the pain by introducing it to new textures, temperatures and exercises. It will hurt an awful lot, and it will not make me better, but I'll be able to deal with the pain. It will teach me to cope and to work through the burning feeling under my skin, to not scream like I want to, but to tell myself that it's NOT REAL. Rewiring a brain is difficult. Whether it can ever fully happen is debatable. But, with help and a whole lotta hard work, you can at least learn to get through the problem and cone out the other side. There is no cure for my disease. There is no cure for depression. But, whoever you are, if you have read all of this, if you are scared that you will never recover from whatever you may be facing, please know that if you have no cure, no exit to your hell: you must fight your way out. You must fight through any pain you find, because there may be no exit but you can learn to at least stick your head out of the window and let the outside in. Good luck.
oh my GOD that sounds awful. good fucking luck! you can do it! your brain can do it!!!! <3
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lucy and lila2017-09-01 22:23:37 (edited 2017-09-01 22:28:40 )
doddlevloggle thank you so much! That actually means a lot. You've helped me through a lot of crap. But also, good fucking luck to you and your brain as well <3
Samantha Schucker this deserves to be at the top of the comments so everyone can see this!
also you can take from this too because I suppose seeing so many people reading and liking it is your way of spreading happiness which in turn makes you happy!
Mermaid Sea then let me get to know you. The only people I don't like not even hate is the right word because I still give them chances is my bullies. Yes not everybody may like you but give me a chance my best friend has gone through this before and it takes a while to get through but give me a social media or something to talk to you through so I can show you I care. To many people I loved have died and it took a toll on me and I realised I need to help other people so their family doesn't have to go through what I did. Give me a chance to help you and show you I care please just let me show you before you end up doing something you regret and then I regret not helping you
I had a day where I was really jet lagged and frustrated and I felt so... displaced. And I felt really de-personalised!
This was the very first, and hopefully last, time I've experienced it, and it was honestly terrifying.
I felt like there was a fog over my brain, like I had to shake my head and blink really hard to get it to go away, but it didn't until the next morning.
Now I understand how you feel a little more, and I feel even more empathy for you now. It made me feel so tense and ... weird, like I'd never be normal again. Just thought I'd share, luv u dodie💓💓
I wonder if it's because your brain was in R.E.M. And that's when your brain is calm and repairing itself, so like, it's a good thing that brain did that. I'm working on feeling content in the present moment as well, and my doctor told me that one way to help feel that way is to start acknowledging random and sometimes subconscious things. When I can remember to that, it starts to help a little. Like wow, that deep breath kinda made my chest collapse and my threat expand and that feels good. Or, wow the air feels cooler next to this tree and this fountain has that fountain smell that is always weirdly comforting because so many fountains smell like that. When I think about it too much it gets overwhelming but eventually it started to kind of do it's own thing and yeah Try it out. Idk Stay safe and sleep well while you're traveling 🌼🌻
Hi Dodie, I don't specifically suffer from depersonalisation, but I do deal with flatlined emotions (which is my form of depression) and anxiety. I've found that grounding myself in a moment and remembering a feeling helps. You don't have to remember the moment to try and recreate it, ground yourself in the moment so that your brain knows that being happy/joyful/excited is normal. The more you practice grounding yourself, the more normal it will become. I've suffered a lot of physical injuries, and my physiotherapist always asked me to think of my posture when I walked through a doorway. It seemed stupid to me, and it was hard to remember such a simple task, but now it's second nature and my body automatically adjusts. Sometimes our bodies (mental or physical) are stuck on autopilot but they're going to the wrong destination, so we have to take the wheel and steer it in the right direction before putting it on autopilot again.
Ria Soames I think I've heard something similar to this...like when you're feeling sad or low or something you tend to look at the ground when you're walking about, the tip I heard is if you walk down the street look up and start counting chimneys or tv satellite dishes or similar. I do it from time to time (especially if I'm stressed or anxious) and even just for a little while it's a whole other perspective
DabblingEmmaDoc yes, that's a great tip! It's important to practice the little things, as hard as it is when you're depressed or dealing with depersonalisation or anxiety.
I had a dream that Dodes, me and one of my friends were together after going to her concert in the Button Factory where we ran around the streets of Dublin and danced with random buskers and made friends in the middle of the night and it was so natural and so freeing and it didn't matter that I got back to Uni and my scary mentor late the next day or that we didn't have phones and were worrying about us, it was just being, you know? Being alive and present and fulfilled. I've always wanted to just go anywhere like that, where no one knows me and do what I want with no repercussions - sing on the street, run on the rooftops, laugh and cry and feel a hint of anxiety, that adrenaline, that makes everything more real.
ahh dodie I understand you so much. 15 and on anxiety meds. I hate the pain so fucking much, therapy helped, not as much as i wanted. I hope cbt helps you as it did with me. The weight may stay with you but i have found ways to lift it. I hope you can love yourself soon and keep sharing your story to help others xxxx
Dodie I know you'll never see this, but you've helped me through so many things, you've helped me come to terms with my bisexuality in a homophobic household. With me in the closet and scared your videos make me feel safe and I can't thank you enough, dodie, thank you
I just think you're awesome......as a 42 yr old woman who suffers from depression and anxiety I wish you could see that you have no need to feel the way you do and just grab every cool opportunity and don't worry about life and the crap that goes on because life goes quickly. I have so many regrets and I wish I'd been braver and if I knew what I know now I would have jumped right in there and gone for it without worry or fear.......its easy to say I know......I question everything still everyday but you're so talented and your thoughts are so special, so remember that. Go for it, chill out, enjoy the ride..... Xxx
'enjoy the ride' well obviously at the moment she can't as she said she suffers from depersonalisation and feels depressed all the time and can't enjoy being in the moment.
Dodie if you do decide to run away from life and become a hippie feel free to stop in Canada and stay at my place for a while. Tbh I think most of ur subscribers wouldn't mind if you dropped by and took a night at there house lolol
Dp/dr is honestly the shittiest thing going! If you've never suffered from it you can't honestly say you understand what it is! It's the most horrible feeling in the world! Not feeling like you're actually here; feeling like you're dreaming all the time; feeling drunk all the time; not being able to enjoy yourself; always feeling spaced out.
It's certainly one of the shittiest things, yes. I've briefly experienced de-realisation a few times, so I have a small window into what it would be like to suffer it chronically. My own experience with Avoidant Personalty Disorder, Generalised and Social Anxiety, plus the depression that goes with all of that, is no picnic either.
I'm sorry you feel this way. I feel this way at times when I'm fed up with being alone, I want to go out in the world and have adventures every day, and making friends with people also. I'm sorry you still aren't feeling well. Maybe the dream you had when you were happy and pleasant maybe is trying to remind you that you can still feel that way. There must be a way! And I know you will get it! I would recommend doing something opposite when you feel bad. Do something that makes you feel good. I feel like that would help. :)
im so glad that you're doing cbt!! id also recommend doing dbt bc I've found that it really helps with mindfulness and feeling present! best of luck to you and i rlly hope that things get better for you <3
Dodie just brings up my mood so much, whenever I'm feeling down or like a 6/10 I just watch her videos or listen to her songs and it just makes me feel so happy about life xoxoxox
EstelleFoxy First, if you can, find a good therapist. If you are seeing one that you're not sure about, find a new one and only stick with them if you're sure that they are helping you. There are a lot of shitty therapists so you have to shop around but there are also a lot of really good ones. Make sure you tell your therapist what you want to work on and that you are on the same page. You also have to put the work in to see progress. Second, you have to be dedicated to getting better and putting in the work. Your not going to get anywhere if your half-assing things. I'm not going to lie to you, you're going to have to work your butt off and it's going to be hard. But it is doable and it is worth it. I wish you the best! 💗
To add to this, you also have to practice. You have to literally forge a new path in your mind and so you just have to learn how to think helpfully (which is where a therapist comes in handy) and then just constantly practice this until it eventually becomes second nature
I've tried therapy, meds and even been hooked up to actual wires designed to reward your brain for therapeutic brain waves but nothing seems to help I am constantly be wrung out by my anxiety and I feel there is no help
I had a friend that suffers from anxiety, and the things that you go through. I didn't know how to help her but I wanted to so much so I told her to watch your videos. That was about 2 months ago. She has got so much more confident since she started watching your videos and you're the reason that we are so confident to be ourselves. We love you so much Dodie!!! ❤❤❤
Love you, Dodie. I'm going to see you at the meet and greet at VidCon. I just want to give you a giant hug and tell you and your brain that it will all be okay. 💖💖💖
I love when you make videos like this because it is so comforting. I spend lots of time rewatching the same handful of your videos because they make me feel so much better. Just knowing that someone exists in the same emotion as I find myself in makes me feel like I'm drinking a warm cup of tea. Your videos feel like home. I love you and your authenticity so much.
When I am tried of carrying around this weight of mental health, I usually listen to music, completely listening to every word. And for every song I think either of a really nice happy event in the past or the things that I wanna experience someday
Watching your videos always makes me feel better. I'm always so stressed and I panic a lot. I guess I just over think things. I don't know. But thank you ❤
I'm feeling extremely depressed currently and seeing you upload today is very relieving bc you always give me such a calm feeling when I watch you. So thank you dodie <333
This is incredibly relatable. But you are so amazing Dodie! My favourite quote to feel a little less crap is "Everyone wants happiness nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain" 😊😚🌈🌈
I always find myself with a cosy and content smile when I watch your videos. Which helps tremendously when I'm anxious, down or depersonalized. So thank you for that Dodie! :)
first of all, love that there's a new dodie video! i've been having dodie withdrawals and it's been very hard to deal with. second of all, i've had similar thoughts about the "moments i've been dreaming of" i always imagine myself in these situations where i find myself and the reason why i feel this way. i have some sort of depression (i haven't been OFFICIALLY diagnosed so i don't really say that i have depression or anything) i try to find ways to "fix" my mental health, but i always find a way to revert back into the mental state that i've been trying to avoid. i've passed through my fair share of friend groups, trying to find the perfect people to make me the best me i can possibly be(oh hey that rhymed) and also trying to be more open about my feelings and such. i've always felt that my feelings were much less important than others' i don't do it on purpose, but i can usually catch myself when i'm trying to help another person instead of myself. a friend of mine feels the same way, and sometimes he says things about it, and somehow i end up feeling like i shouldn't feel the same way, and the person doesn't want sympathy, because i don't want sympathy AH this is making no sense!!!!! i'm so sorry! i seriously have been trying to get into a better mental state, but i don't feel like it's bad enough that i should ask for help...... idk i guess i'm just trying to put my thoughts out there and tbh it kinda feels nice to know that i've said something even if it literally makes no sense to anyone but me. okay well bye
I love when you talk about mental health, makes me feel a bit more.. i don't know grounded? you voice and thoughts are just so peaceful and make my head feel less chaotically full. :-)
I know how it feels to be depressed and anxious, I have severe depression and moderate anxiety. I hope you have an outlet, through writing, singing (of course), anything. Just, you can get though this. We believe in you ♡
@doddlevloggle I completely understand everything and empathize to the fullest extent. I am currently dealing with depression and depersonalization. All I want to say is thank you. Your videos have given me someone to relate with. Keep on going and know that everyone that is going through the same thing and everyone not it caring.
I find it helps on nice days with some clouds, just to lay down somewhere and just watch the clouds go by, not forcing yourself to feel anything or think anything. Just relaxing without pressure and letting your worries float away
I might be going to Buffer fest and I hope sm that I can meet u ilysm! I cover your songs and try to learn them in my uke. You are really such an inspiration to me. Ever since u discovered you and your music I've felt a lot better about myself and my anxiety. Dodie, you are so so so sososo amazing.
Omg, I start CBT this month too, in a few days actually. I'm pretty sceptical and very nervous about it, but I've done all sorts of other stuff so I figured I give it go! Just remember that these bad feelings never last forever. Even if the bad times seem to outweigh the good in time or in feeling, they never last forever, so don't let it dictate your life! You're amazing and I hope it works for you, Dodie! X
I did CBT and although it was stressful at first it helped me through a lot of issues with my mind. It helped me also come through so much. I hope it helps you. :) <3
Good luck with your cbt! I had cbt for my anxiety and trust me, it works! Just remember that you're beautiful, strong and nothing can stop you from feeling content again!
Hey, I hope you are okay again soon. As someone who has suffered from feelings exactly like the ones you are describing I can say that exercise really helps me. Good luck and enjoy your busy September.
Hi dodie, I have suffered with depression and depersonalization on and off for about five years now, and the thing that has helped me the most was learning mindfulness and meditation, with therapy and medication being second and third most helpful. Whenever I start to feel like I'm spiraling out o control of the way my brain is working, I try to sit down and be aware of those thoughts and challenge them. I don't indulge in the feeling, but I step away from it and look at it directly. It is then that I am able to really ground myself in the present and find joy in being alive. When I was first told to do this by my therapist, I felt as though my feelings were being invalidated, but the truth is, we really do have some control in how we feel, and what thoughts we choose to indulge in. We can't control what intrusive ideas pop into our heads, but we can choose not to dwell on them, and fight to make ourselves present and focus on the positive, with the help of therapy, medication, a good support network, and most of all, our own self discipline. I'm so glad you got on the waitlist for CBT, and I really hope it will help you feel the best you can feel. You're a wonderful human being and you don't deserve anything less than good health 💙
I want you to know how much you are helping me, your videos, your music, I'm going through a really hard time, and I'm struggling really Badley but listening to you music helps keeps my mind of it for a while💕 I love you so much!!
I hope you feel content soon Dods. You're an inspiration to us all, even though you feel down you still manage to post videos that brighten your viewers day. I just wish we could do the same for you... I've adored you since I found your channel and I'll continue adore you always. You have helped me through a lot of sh1t these past few years and I'll forever be grateful. Thank you for everything. AHHH HARRY POTTER REFRENCE AT THE END!! sorry...not sorry. Love yah! xxxxx
I've been going through a stage of depression recently and just repeat these words over and over and it actually begins to work! : "I am happy right now"
I've been learning more about my depersonalization and watching your videos is so comforting. I weirdly relate to the dream part. I'm going through the process of coming out/ being pulled away from my gf and last night I had a dream that I was dancing with her. It felt so real and I felt present and not numb for the first time in so long... I guess I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. And that what you're doing matters. So much. And that what you're doing helps. Thank you.
I sincerely hope you have time for CBT because it will really help you! And if it doesn't, there is always another orientation to be tried. Not every therapy is beneficial to everyone, and I hope you find the best fit ❤️
thank you so much for making videos, it is so soothing for me. it's also encouraging me to start recording myself speaking about anything really. doubt ill ever upload it but it's therapeutic so thank you so much ♥
THAT SONG BRING SO MANY MEMORIES FOR ME OHMYGOSH also dodie, I know you know this but I'm gonna say this anyway, you don't always need to be happy while traveling, I know that more often that not it feels that way but I promise you, it's not true. Take your time, I love you. So many people love you. You're beautiful and magical and things are going to be just fine💛
My heart dropped when you said you were in D.C. I live in this wonderful crazy melting pot but never thought I'd have the chance to just talk to you like a dork and enthuse over the serendipity of life. I think everyone can relate to the feeling of just crying over the awesomeness of you and making us realise the absolute lovely beauty in everyone else. Playlist Live DC is all sold out but I am going to take my bike down to the hotel and listen to your mind-blowing music and cry and shout at the wind and freak out that I am breathing the same air as you and thank you a million times for writing songs that touch the very core of our souls. I didn't mean for this to be a story but damn it, I have been bitten by the writing bug. I hope wherever you are tonight and for all nights to come, you are surrounded by laughter, good mates, soft music, and that enigmatic little thing I like to call Hiraeth. I am going to learn to play in the middle with my High School Band because it encouraged me to tell the world that I am Bisexual and a struggling human with emotions and thoughts and feelings. I smile and yet I hurt. I wish you a sweet cup of tea, cozy socks, aromatherapy candles, and a snuggle. Thank you Dodie so incredibly much.
you seriously are my favorite human. you inspired me to start a channel and just keep going when I feel like I can't anymore. I love you, Dodes. If you ever need to talk then message me :)
SOOOO relatable thank you dodie for talking about this. been following your journey with music and mental health and life for a while and as a sufferer of dp/dr it is very validating to hear you talk about all of this. thanks so much and hope you're well!
One thing that really helped me learn to carry my depression without struggling was hypnotherapy. I know it sounds odd and it is entirely dependent on dealing with past trauma but it really really helped me with confidence and learning to live and cope with it. It still gets to me, but for the most part I can actually get by now.
the way you explain things hits so close to my heart. I just started university, and I was counting on it to fix me, but I still just feel distant and hazy. I'm trying to be content in the present moment, but it feels nearly impossible. thank you for this.
I hope that we make you happy and feel special because every time I watch your videos you make me fell safe and loved and special. The rough patches in life won't matter when you find your serenity and if that comes sooner or later, you will find it. I love soon much xx
Dodie I feel the same way. In my dreams I feel alive and present but when I wake up my brain switches to 'protection mode' which manifests itself as depersonalisation.
I really understand what you mean by 'plodding along.' I get that so much when i'm at school and i'm doing the same old shit over and over. Anxiety doesn't help either. I'm a dancer so I dance alone to express my feelings and let all the crap out of my brain. Having a good cry every once in a while helps as well. I also just wire myself to my iTunes and let go to all the lyrics. It's hard to live life when you're stuck in a specific state of mind but I guarantee you that it's possible to handle and overcome. It all comes with experience! I love you so much and wish to meet you one day! xxx
Happy to know that Dodie feels the same. I'm setting my mind on what I'm doing after high school. After high school, I'm taking a gap year to decide if I really want to do college. But also in that time, I'm moving to London with my best friend and starting a YouTube channel. My best friend and I want a new start, and moving to London will be the beginning of it. Right now I have my ass sat in Oregon, and I'm not happy. I want something more, I don't know what, I just want something more. I know people say to live in the moment, but thats not what I want to do. I want to living in my future. The one I'm building.
I always have the urge to change my name and move away so I get you Dodie, I hope you feel better and that you can feel as content as you were in your dream!
I can really relate to the daydreams of leaving behind everything you know. The only advice I can give you is what worked for me. Through meditation I learned how to stop craving and start accepting. It also makes you more mindful of the things you do and enjoy them more, which helps with the accepting. I'm probably not the first one to recommend you this, but I just wanted to say that it helps in the long run.
This makes me so sad! Like dodie, the most amazing person in the world has so much depression. If I could Bear all the depression and pain for her I would in an instant. That's how much this girl I have never met means to me. I love you dodie.
Dodie. My heart breaks seeing you in your mental state and seeing the discontentment that comes hand in hand with your depersonalisation. I'm not here to tell you a story and I know that this small jumble of letters constructed on a computer screen may be hidden in the abyss of comforting messages but what I want you to know is this. In the galaxy there is a tiny solar system that is home to 8 planets and only one (that we know of) holds life and that life is more commonly known as the human race. Our race isn't exactly perfect, there is discrimination and war and conflict and more tragically, there is sadness. Sadness comes in many forms such as grief and heart break, depression and anxiety and the feeling when you are in one place but your brain is off somewhere else. However, amidst the sorrow and sadness comes hope and life and love. These three things can be found in everything you just know where to look and I'm sorry dodie my darling but you might have lost your glasses. The glasses that help you to ground yourself with your body and the glasses that once they are on you can see the worlds beauty without having to look and squint your eyes because as we all know squinting hurts after a while and you don't deserve to be in pain dodie. I've been watching you for 3 and a half years and watching you battle depression and depersonalisation shows me that life isn't always perfect but we should never pretend it is. We should strive to find the glasses that show us that being ourself is what makes this small planet amazing. So dodie, wherever you go, whether a shop or a park, look around and find 5 things that are beautiful about your surroundings and hopefully you will feel very slightly more in your body and well practice makes perfect so do it everywhere and I mean everywhere.. your bathroom or even under a grimey old underpass but just remember dodie that we (your followers/friends) are honestly here to guide you and help you through anything. I love you ❤️
Honestly, without trying to sound too cheesy, seeing you go through all of this, and have time to document it and edit it to viewable level, is so inspirational for someone who does suffer with mental health issues and is trying to make it through and make it. Starting 2nd year of uni in 2 weeks and I'm nervous because 1st year was a bit shit but seeing you achieve all of this, despite your dpd stuff just makes me feel like I can tackle anything. That I can beat this thing trying to takeover my brain, but even if I can't, I can still make #art and do what I love. Thank you :) <3
You're a truly wonderful person dodie. As soon as I discovered your videos and music you started to help me so much, when I never even knew I needed it. What you do and the way you have such a strong impact on others is really beautiful. Best of luck for everything and I hope it helps to know that you have lots of people (plus me) with you to support you every step of the way! :)
Dodie, you inspire me so much :) you're one of The reasons I still post my music on youtube even if I stay a small youtuber forever! Love you! You are The best ❤️
Dodie! I'm sorry you feel like this, and honestly i can relate to the feeling of wanting to be content in the moment, but never getting there. The only thing i feel like actually helps me is to just try and accept whatever i'm feeling - if it's sad or anxious or whatever, all i feel like i can do is just try to acknowledge the feeling and feel whatever's there and try not to label anything as 'bad' or 'good'. Feelings don't go away if you think about them more or try to push them down so i've been working to just try to let my brain feel what it needs to. It's frustrating and really easy to think that sadness or depression will never go away, but that's just not true. Emotions are never permanent and one day you'll feel okay again. (Sorry if this was really crap advice bc it probs was but i hope it helped a tiny bit 😌❤️❤️❤️)
Looking forward to seeing you in Australia! Hope you're doing alright with all this travelling around, it means a lot that you're coming all the way out to Melbourne for VidConAus!
you are such a wonderful human dodie :) i hope you have a lovely day , brains suck at times but you also have an incredible brain i mean look at all the songs and poems you created x
I feel the same thing from time to time.But it is in real life.I feel soo happy and like all my problems will go away,and I will feel like I felt once.Then something comes and tears me down. It is hard.But,lots of love to you Dodie,keep doing what you're doing ❤❤
I'm currently reading "Uncovering Happiness" by Dr Elisha Goldstein. I would highly recommend this to anyone wanting to both educate themselves on why you feel like a shite, but also how to not feel AS shite. Vvv good stuff. Love you Dodie 💕
I started CBT a little while ago and its literally rewiring therapy! They explore your core thoughts (its horrible and terrifying BUT it helps in the long run). You dont get better in a few months, unfortunately, but i do hope that in a year or two im better. I hope.
I just think it's so sad to see a friend be so lonely & unhappy. I'm so grateful that I can say I truly don't understand what it's like as I've never had any serious mental health problems. But my heart aches for the people like dodie who constantly hurt. Here's to the hearts that ache, here's to the mess we make ✨✨✨
Those contempt moments will start to become the norm!! Your meds plus CBT will help you a tremendous amount I'm so excited for you! Just remember that it's still a long process but you notice yourself having those contempt moments (not ecstatic/manic) more and more and start to feel comfortable with being happy.
Right now I'm genuinely so so sooo happy and I wish for nothing more than for everyone to feel the same. Take it from someone who's been at the bottom of whatever dark hole depression is. There will be a time where things change for the better and it will quite literally ' all make sense again' All the love and happiness i have to everyone needing it : )
Hey dodie, I know you’re very busy but just the chance of you seeing this compels me to write. I just want you to know that there’s a whole community here to talk to and we all support you in any endeavor you choose to pursue (even if you want to quit YouTube and come to America). I hope you find yourself content in everything you do. I love you :)
the last bit made me smile :) (i also noticed your reaction to the drink- welcome to america, dodie. we overload everything with sugar and other "healthy things")
When I'm not feeling content in the present moment and trying to, I usually go to watch your videos, dodie. Particularly, your ASMR one where I can just take a break and breath for two minutes. So, my advice to you dodie, would be to find your own dodie (lol) who helps mellow your soul... even just for a little while. :) xx
I have gone my whole life feeling a way i couldn't pin point. And after bingeing alot of your videos. I now have a name, i dont like to self diagnose, but at the very least its something to research more. Thank you for sharing, and creating. If you ever need a friend, ill be there. (sorry if thats weird)
my favorite cb therapist i've ever had moved away last year and i miss her everyday. she always recommended TEDtalks and vlogbrothers videos to me and she was just generally so fantastic with me and my brain. i hope you have the same experience ((or something similar bc i very much hope your doctor doesn't move offices)) ANYWAYS i love you so much xoxo
CBT! Yaas! Yeah it is basically brain rewiring 😆 Go you Dodie! I hope it works out for you 💛
Both me and my partner did it on the NHS and we've had v different experiences of it but it's literally been life changing.
My partner didn't get on with their first therapist and found the level of work too upsetting, but asked to change to a different one and got on much better and found some simpler techniques a lot more helpful.
I actually took well to the really structured and rigorous CBT methods and my therapist was pushing me as hard as she could. I think one time I told her it was too much and she did back off a bit and go a bit easier on me (there seems a bit of pressure to try to fit in as much therapy as they can). I still have to work at it, but it's really helped me - already even tho only 2 ppl know I've been doing it lots of folks have noticed I've been a lot calmer and less stressed.
But yeah, to anyone who does it: if it's not working out, please do try to tell them and ask to see a different therapist if you want (you're not there to please them, it's all about your needs not theirs!)
I'm glad you're working on feeling content in the present moment and i'm very confident that you will be. I've been working on that too, as I've been feeling a bit odd lately but I think it's because I have a lot going on before school next week and some friend stuff is bothering me a lot so I don't really know if I'm content in the present moment at this point in time but I know I'll get there, because one day, I won't have these worries and this stress. I'm really trying to focus on having a good time with my family and my friends and having those moments that I know I'll remember for the rest of my life. I really am, and I'm so happy you are too.
I know you have not been feeling great but the fact that you are pushing on and accomplishing so much despite that is very inspiring. You make it so I feel like keeping on and not being defined by my mental state.
For me, Escitalopram changed my entire life. And a lot of people I love have had a similar experience with it or with the other type which its Citalopram. I think there is no shame going and getting medication for your illness. Antidepressants work, and although it can be hard to find the one that is best for you, don't give up. I swear to you, it will get better.
Tip for CBT: you really have to practise it. It's not going to work if you don't put in the work. And it will be hard but you will be able to do it. I believe in you, Dodie. Love you 💗
i didnt get my dream role in a musical that i wanted so badly, and ive cried every day for nearly two weeks. i love when you talk about the realer, sad side of your brain because it makes me feel not alone and less ridiculous when i have bad brain days.
I love the lighting in this video. It's not like super bright and white like a lot of people have but it's soft and gentle and comforting and a contenting coulor
Happy thoughts is the perfect way to explain it. You can't get over it, obviously, but all you have to do is hope. Run away for a while. We all need to do that. See your fans and your friends, we all are with you and you can be content in the present. You help other people like me, so I want to help you. Thank you Dodie xxx
I relate sooo much. I'm always thinking up ways I'll "fix" myself and especially the one about running away. I've always wanted to move to some other country, but now I'm starting to think it's just another thing I think will make me happy and content. Sending my love and support to anyone out there who might need it<3
ive been on the NHS waiting list for CBT since april and they told me I'd get an appointment in september and im so glad that september is here !!!! good luck with ur CBT dodie
I have social anxiety and I get depersonalized when my anxiety attacks get really bad, it mostly happens during school ( being around people all day and trying to calm myself down all the time is mentally exhausting)
The part about traveing never being as good as you want it to, reminded me of a School of Life video: "The problem with traveling". I think they sum it up pretty nicely, you should watch it :) and take care of yourself on all these travels and tours<3
"Some nights I wish that this all would end, cause I could use some friends for a change." was the last line in this video and I find that ironically fitting. :) Anyways, I hope you have a good time in DC, despite not knowing anyone!
I feel a lot of this. I went through a period during my sophomore year of uni where I decided to cut negative people out of my life, and through that decided that I would give up social media. So, I cut out facebook and instagram and snapchat, and I think that I thought doing these things would make me more productive, which I suppose it sort of did, but I also felt like I gave up a lot of my creativity with it. I don't think I lived more in the moment, I think I just documented less of it. What I will say though, is though I returned to instagram, I never returned to facebook and snapchat. I think I face a lot of fomo and it really helps with that since I'm not constantly bombarded with what all my friends are doing all the time. I don't know. It's different for everyone, but I think its a good experiment, depriving yourself of social media. Certainly you find out the friends you really talk to and who you don't...
I'm so glad you're going to be having CBT. It is so worth it! It's not easy though (you're literally rewiring your brain to think in totally new ways) but I know you've got the strength to do it. I'm about to hit the halfway mark for my CBT sessions. The homework tasks aren't easy either but if they're easy they're not worth it. I felt sick and hella anxious when my therapist set one of my tasks. It was unpleasant but that reaction meant I was stepping out of my comfort zone into new territory and new ways of being and when I manage it, I felt chuffing great!
I too feel like running away sometimes. More recently I've just wanted to sell, throw or give away all of my possessions, my clothes too, and just start again. Every time I try to do it though, I think "oh, this might be useful one day" or "I spent money on that so I can't get rid of it" or "this is horrible/useless/ugly/makes me feel crap but it was a present so I have to keep it". Or the task is too daunting (I've accumulate a lot of crap over the years!) but I guess it's about fulfilling that desire in a controlled way. You're doing it by travelling. You can do it every day in small ways too by reading books or watching films and getting lost in them or by having a tech holiday where you switch off everything (just make sure people know about it and where you are). To satisfy my need to get rid of EVERYTHING, I got a friend round to help me be a bit more ruthless with the stuff I've justified keeping and to sort my other stuff into more manageable sections that'll be easier to sift through.
This is way longer than I intended, soz! But I hope there's someone out there who benefited a little from reading it :)
Aninja HEY the chords for death of the bachelor are on ultimate guitar (just look up "death of a bachelor chords") but if you can't find it then it's Dm G C for the verses, F Fm C Am D Dm G for the pre chorus, and then Am D F C for the chorus. :D
Oh right. Sorry. I do play the keyboard lots but I'm almost entirely self taught other than my dad teaching me a bit and I'm also only 12 XD Lots of the time I look stuff up on YouTube, if you search "death of a bachelor piano" you should be able to find a video of just a piano and like the colours and stuff falling and all that and I'm sure you could go off of that, while adding little bits and bobs yourself. I'm pretty sure that when Brendon Urie himself plays it on the piano, he uses a bunch of major7 and that kinda stuff too.
a way to live more in the moment is to focus on what you're doing (it works, just slowly, you get used to doing it more) it helps to focus on what's touching you, what you smell, what the weather feels like on your skin, what your toes feel like, basically checking in on all senses. i started doing this more last year and i've been able to live more in the moment so much and i highly suggest it's something you also do!!
I cant i just cant watch your stuff anymore its too gloomy i'm sorry. I love you and i'll still support your music because you're truly talented with every sense of the word. Many of your fans can relate to you right now because they share your journey, but i do not i'm still far behind and its a lot for me to handle. Love you babe
Dodie (and anyone else who might find this helpful), I've found meditation to be a great way at least to start to rewire your brain. Its almost like changing your entire thought process, which is difficult but with practice it gets easier and helps a bunch. Maybe try out little affirmations everyday, they seem stupid but they really do help after a while, by changing your thoughts you change your mental makeup. I cannot stress this enough for anyone reading, and I mean this truly after many years of lost wondering and non-beliefs. Find a faith, not necessary a God, or an almighty being (and most definitely not money or the gov). But find a faith in something you can practice and that gives you purpose, whether it be a philosophy, spirituality or a religion, heck have faith in yourself and dedicate your "worshipping time" to self care. Regardless, find something that pushes you to further yourself and is something you can find calm in. This is the single best thing I have found to help with my mental health, I'm not saying it'll solve everything straight away, but it's helped me incredibly.
For anyone in the comments struggling with mental illness, I find Noah Elkrief's videos incredibly helpful. He aims to rewire the way you confront your thoughts and that, paired with therapy, have given me more hope than I have had in years. Just remember that you are worth the time and effort and that there are so many people who care about you deeply. I know that's easier said than done, but I wish all you beautiful people the best!
The Harry Potter reference at the end killed me ❤ especially cuz September first and stuff... Happy 19 years later everyone!!!! Also, I really hope and believe that one day you'll reach that point of feeling contempt in the moment again and quitting worrying about unnecessary stuff, you're so strong and I believe that you can do it. Also I'm hating my life cuz you're gonna go to Australia and I just left... Oh well, have fun in the best country in the world anyway!!
Do you ever feel like how things used to be used to be when you were younger and not necessarily happier but hopeful and in a way more carefree? I dunno I feel a lot of the same things as you mentioned in this video and what strikes me most is just the overwhelming lack of hope I have now (as a recently turned 22 yo).
Do you meditate, I think especially once you do it for a while it really actually works to ground you. I never got the concept of meditating because I didn't know how to shut my brain up but there are things you can listen to, so you can focus on one thing, such as breathing, to ground you.
Love you Dodie, I hope everything gets better❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I was on CBT through the NHS for about a year and a half and it really worked for me. As you were saying, you really do feel lighter. As long as you put as much effort as you possibly can into it, im sure it'll work for you too. Good luck
Dodie: I have issues with depersonalization, depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc, and the one thing that has really worked for me, helped my depersonalization, and helped me "rewire my brain" is EMDR. It's a therapy that really helps you shift the things in your brain so they don't affect you so much
Hey Dodie, I suffer from SAD-type depression and one thing that has made a MASSIVE difference to me has been going to the gym/ cycling more and trying to eat healthy (for me, that has been avoiding sugar and dairy haha). It's incredible how much getting fitter has improved my mood and I would really recommend it!
Enjoy traveling and conventions and everything :) There is CBT online (which in my opinion can work out better sometimes than NHS) and there are book and audiobooks, which ever you prefer or feel up to in the moment :) Things get better :) they also get worse, but... look at the sunset :D it's always beautiful and it is an end of something.
take some time to find yourself <3 do what makes you feel good. dont feel obligated to make music or make videos your mental health is more important. just take as long as you need <3 (and eat some donuts :))
I wish I was at playlist! have a good time and make some fun memories! the best thing to do for rewiring your brain is to just wake up everyday and push that feeling out, it's harder than it sounds. I suffered with anxiety and still do but I just reminded myself that I needed to keep busy.
What really helps is just keeping your brain occupied and making sure to not let your mind wander. I'm only 13 but I hope this helps! I haven't had much experience but to anyone who is reading, have a lovely day! x
I needed this so much. I'm 16 years old and just I had my second mental breakdown in a week. I drove to school today, but I was just bawling and freaking out about the thought of having to face another day of school Our school counselor had to call my Dad to take me home and I'm not allowed to drive anymore.
I've been seeing a psychiatrist since May and I just had my third appointment with a therapist. I've been told by my psychiatrist that I show strong signs of major depressive disorder (MDD) and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), although she hasn't definitively diagnosed me (bc usually a psychologist will do that). I'm trying so hard to get better, but it's such a long and hard journey and it's hard to know if you even want to keep going.
Thank you so much for your courage and strength to post about your mental health. Your posts have been so helpful for me when dealing with my own struggle. I pray that you would be able to keep fighting your own battles and to never give up. Even when the sun isn't shining and the moon is dark, the stars will still be shining. ❤️
i've found it helps me to write something every single day as well as ((attempt)) to keep a bullet journal. the writing is sometimes thoughts and feelings, sometimes it's how i want to feel, sometimes its completely random and i write from my book of prompts. i'm not sure if that'll help you, but consistency is the key to re-wiring your brain. i also take lexapro everyday for my anxiety/depression/OCD and it has helped LOADS. meds aren't for everyone, therapy isn't for everyone. sometimes you just have to find something that at least helps a little bit and stick with it. i hope that helps at least a little bit
Im not great today but thank you dodie. You are so busy it is actually insane and if you stay relatively sane that will be an achievement lol. Especially with all the travelling that makes you feel worse, but nevertheless i hope you have a good time👍🏻
I loved that ending bit it was so cute 😭 I want to try doing VEDIS but I don't know if I can do it and I'm pretty sure I'll die but it lest i'll be trying right? 😂 I got the first video out today lets see how long this will last
i'm glad that you could be on a path towards feeling better (and that you're starting cbt! that's awesome i'm so happy for you). i really hope it works out for you. we all love you and are here to support you <3
Love you so much xx (just a little thing I saw in your description that you find it hard to mediate with your eyes closed. Maybe try with them open? I don't do it myself but a few of my friends swear by it and say they still really get the benefit of mindfulness) ❤️
I always feel like escaping too, I also deal with depersonalization and I always think traveling or doing exciting things other than uni would help me, but seeing that you travel so much and do so many exciting things and still feel like that is another way to remind me that this is something I have to work on and I can't run away from it. I don't know if this realization makes me feel any better? But it is nice to know I'm not the only one.
Here are my personal tips for rewiring your brain, because I like your videos and I like your face and personality and singing :) And who knows, maybe this will help some others that are reading the comments too :D I hope it helps a lot of people. First, let me start by saying I had pretty bad depression back in highschool and early college, still struggle with it sometimes, but I'm loads better now. I refused any help from family or doctors because I felt that I wasn't deserving of it. I felt I didn't deserve to be happy. I was suicidal at one point, going as far as to make an attempt at it. Over the years, I've gotten so much better. I still have bad days, and I still fight with anxiety a lot, but I function so much better now, and I know how to push through the anxiety a good enough portion of the time that I get things done that I want done.
Now for my tips! It's a long and hard road, but you can do it! Everyone is capable of rewiring their brain. Every. single. person. So you're not allowed to say you can't. Some days are extra hard, and some days you WILL say you can't. But when you have those days, it's important to catch yourself and redirect yourself. When you say "I can't do this,' catch yourself. Tell yourself, "No. I CAN do this, it's just really hard right now." When you have moments where you're really down on yourself, turn it around and tell yourself something like "I'm awesome and I can get things done, even if I stumble a few times on the way there." Even if you don't believe your own words, just telling yourself you can do it every day is so powerful, and you will eventually make yourself believe it. Every morning (or night, whenever you wake up), look in the mirror, smile, and tell yourself you're beautiful. Even if you don't believe it, start each day with something simple like this. Start each day with a positive thought~ There will be bad days, and that's ok. Everyone has them, what's important is what we do with them. Have a nice meal or a nice cup of your favorite tea. If it's an especially bad day, little happy things here and there are important! Never forget to take care of yourself, because that's a decent part of what decides how we feel. One thing that helped me a lot is to think of happiness as something that is made rather than found. In order to be happy, you have to make happiness. And making something takes work, sometimes a lot of hard work. But the happiness that results from it is so very worth it. An important thing to remember is that it can be a lengthy process. It can take years, but each year will feel a little better than the last. There will be times you'll fall and you might stay down for a while, and it's ok to take a rest if you need to. But pick yourself back up and keep on trucking~ If you stumble, or if you fall, it's not a setback! It's just taking a breather, catching your breath, resting your happy-making brain muscles.
In summary: Brain rewiring can take a long time and lots of hard work in redirecting your thoughts. Don't be your worst enemy. I know it's super easy to fall into it. Be nice to yourself, supportive of your own efforts. Remember, look in the mirror and say something nice to yourself. Smile at yourself. Whenever you're feeling really bad, think to yourself, "Is feeling like this getting me anywhere or teaching me anything of use?" It's ok to feel down sometimes, it's part of being human. But don't forget to take a breath and focus on happier things to get through it. If you fall down, it's not a setback. You don't go back to square one. You stay where you are on your path, so that you can keep going when you stand back up. Make happiness! Don't just look for it, actively try to create it. Even if things don't go as expected, there will still be the experiences to look back on, to learn from.
Sorry if this was a bit lengthy XD I wanted to be sure I got all of my points across~ I hope this helps you or anyone else in the comments :)
Ugh that feel when I see photos of my happy little kid self and just wish I had some FREAKING MAP to get back there- I think the fact of once being whole makes the brokenness all the more painful
Dodie, based on your videos about mental health, I think you and I have very similar anxiety and depersonalization. Watching your videos actually helped me to figure out that was what was wrong with me. I went on Fluoxetine (prozac) recently and it has changed my life. Please consider trying this because I want you to be as happy as I am now. I know its possible. Much love! <3
dodie much as i love your style of editing i would also appreciate it if you could please leave the text on the screen for slightly longer sometimes, i really can't read that fast lol. lov u
I'm getting this this where I almost feel present in the present (punintended), but whenever I look back on earlier in the year, month, week and more often than not day, I feel as if I've slept through months of my life, or groggily dragged myself through them? I don't know if it's a kind of depersonalization but so far you're the only person I've found that my experiences with my mental health relate to, lyl dodie 💕💕
Sometimes things just change one day on their own and you think that's a miracle but then the bad place catches up and that's hard to accept without falling behind a smokey screen again. We have to live for the good moments and spend a balanced amount of time distracted from, then on par with reality.
I hope you find your way back to how you used to feel, I've just accepted that I won't ever be the same and that change is just part of life. I don't think and feel the way I used to but it's not necessarily worse, just different.
i see your videos and i can relate to you so much, i have had mental health issues for 3 years and i am still struggling however things are getting much much better due to me finally finding a good reliable therapist. there will be underlying issues pointing to why you have these illnesses, to feel better you have to work through those issues first, as for the most part your mental health is a coping mechanism for them (im sure you're already very aware of this anyway). the best way to rewire your brain is through mindfulness and i would really recommend reading "the mindful way through depression" as it has really helped me understand my own brain better. i wish you all the best and i hope you find something that works for you. p.s im coming to see you in newcastle and i cant wait xo
Hey Dodie! When I heard you talking about travelling and still feeling sad, I thought about this Latin text by Seneca I once read in school. He is writing this to a dear friend.
"1. Do you suppose that you alone have had this experience? Are you surprised, as if it were a novelty, that after such long travel and so many changes of scene you have not been able to shake off the gloom and heaviness of your mind? You need a change of soul rather than a change of climate. Though you may cross vast spaces of sea, and though, as our Vergil remarks, Lands and cities are left astern, your faults will follow you whithersoever you travel.
2. Socrates made the same remark to one who complained; he said: "Why do you wonder that globe-trotting does not help you, seeing that you always take yourself with you? The reason which set you wandering is ever at your heels." What pleasure is there in seeing new lands? Or in surveying cities and spots of interest? All your bustle is useless. Do you ask why such flight does not help you? It is because you flee along with yourself. You must lay aside the burdens of the mind; until you do this, no place will satisfy you.
3. (...) You wander hither and yon, to rid yourself of the burden that rests upon you, though it becomes more troublesome by reason of your very restlessness, just as in a ship the cargo when stationary makes no trouble, but when it shifts to this side or that, it causes the vessel to heel more quickly in the direction where it has settled. Anything you do tells against you, and you hurt yourself by your very unrest; for you are shaking up a sick man.
4. That trouble once removed, all change of scene will become pleasant; though you may be driven to the uttermost ends of the earth, in whatever corner of a savage land you may find yourself, that place, however forbidding, will be to you a hospitable abode. The person you are matters more than the place to which you go; for that reason we should not make the mind a bondsman to any one place. Live in this belief: "I am not born for any one corner of the universe; this whole world is my country."
5. If you saw this fact clearly, you would not be surprised at getting no benefit from the fresh scenes to which you roam each time through weariness of the old scenes. For the first would have pleased you in each case, had you believed it wholly yours. As it is, however, you are not journeying; you are drifting and being driven, only exchanging one place for another, although that which you seek, – to live well, – is found everywhere. (...)"
I always try to imagine how amazing it would be to go back to past before "x" happened, before everything changed, before this, before that.
but I'm trying to accept the fact that I am not the same person as I was when I was 4, 9, 15, or even a year ago. We are bond to change, and it's almost impossible to be the person who you were before because there are elements in your life that changed you. and that's okay.
I know it's hard, but accepting the fact that you're now a different person but still be able to love yourself, accept yourself, and validate yourself if you're going through a rough time, it's okay to feel out of place, depressed, anxious, etc. The same way you changed when you were younger, you will change the older you get and hopefully we can all look back and say "thank fuck i stayed alive to see this good side of life"
I remember in 2015 when I have already been depressed for a year and have forgotten what happiness feels like I had this dream that I girl I was in love with at the time said that she felt the same way. And my body just filled with this unspeakable joy. I felt light again, with no worries dragging me down, just like a year ago. I remembered what happiness felt like. And then I woke up. And it was just g o n e. It was so painful diving back to sadness again It was in July of this year and I was on the swings, the sky was electric blue and bigger than I have even seen, when I felt it again, in real life. But not because of a person. At that moment while I was on the swings I was happy. Just because I was. I existed. I was. That was enough. I somehow managed not to scare it away, I just enjoyed it for as long as it lasted Of course it didn't last forever. Today I feel okay, not fine, but okay, alright, content, it takes time. But I hold on to that moment on the swings as a reminder that I can indeed be happy. And you can. You will <3
i started crying when you talked about how you felt content in your dream and wished you could find a way to feel like that in a conscious state; it really resonated with me. i understand how that feels, i've had nights where i've woken up from a dream that took place when i was a kid and i sit in bed for a while thinking about how i may have not really been happy, but i was content-- and i really wish i still felt like that. i've had days where i come home from school and i'll think about my childhood and start crying, not because it was bad, but because i wasn't anxious or sad. i'll think back to when i was a toddler and when my parents were still together and they were still happy too. and i actually feel bad saying that it's comforting to know you understand to some degree how i feel, because i would never want someone to have a similar mental state as me. but your videos talking about your mental health really make me feel so much better. they remind me that there are other people who face similar problems as i do and that i don't need to hate myself over my mental health because so many people fight through it too. and it's kind of silly that i'm writing this all out to you as if you were my pen pal, but how much you share makes me feel like that there's someone there to talk to. but i guess that's good because tricking myself into thinking someone's there is the only way i could write this much, and i guess there is someone there. someone's bound to read this and i'll be expressing how i feel to someone. i should just end by saying thank you. so that's what i'll do. thanks dodie.
too real. i think ive recently been experiencing dp/dr and i'm scared to death that i'm never going feel like myself again. it's so hard to explain it but i can't think of anything more scary than the thought of being in this state forever. i hope to all of you out there suffering with these kinds of things too that we can all figure out how to rewire and be well. <3
I look up to your tenacity and your determination, you will find a method that will help you cope, that will come in time, the better things in life are unexpected.
Question, will you be performing while in LA? Or is it purely business stuff?
Nice to know someone else feels just entirely fed up with having to deal with mental illness day to day. Its so hard just waiting for treatment and watching days go by.
Oh my god I forgot about FUN I used to listen to them all the time. Anyway hope you're feeling better, and if not I hope you can feel some kind of peace soon enough!
I reeeaally want to meet you one day but I never have the money or the time, I'm always doing something, there's always something planned... but it's on my bucket list ♡ love you Dodie
You know what dodie. I look at you and girls similar to you and I think "o so I'm gay?" and I keep denying it but no I am attracted to girls like you. Okay woah. Yea, okay just wanted to say that thank you. I love you, have a nice everyday Idk okay.
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Madison Ezell2017-09-01 17:20:04 (edited 2017-09-01 17:20:14 )
Hey Dodie. I know a bit about fighting depression, anxiety and my own stubborn panic disorder. It's not easy, and I've been fighting it since I became symptomatic 10 years ago. It's not easy finding the right treatment(s) that work for each individual, but I swear, if you keep looking, you'll find what's right for you like I have.
In the meantime, just please never forget that you have friends and family who love you, and at least a million folks (like me) whose life you made a bit more enjoyable because of your videos. I'm not much of a "hugger," but I'm making an exception... (BIG HUG).
it's comforting yet incredibly sad that I know I am not alone and that I am not going mad and that other people go through these feelings and thoughts as well but I also wish that none of us would go through it. It's all a bit shit yet heartwarming
I totally understand you not posting everyday and that life happens which makes posting something low on your priority list. You are a very resilient, intelligent, and capable human and I trust that when you're on hiatus it's because you need to be. Glad you're back for now Dodie!! 💕
Honestly, most of my anxiety could be helped if I could stop talking to myself in such a negative way when I fuck up. My therapist is going to help me with this because it's very hard to feel like you have a little alien floating outside your head that hates you and everything you are doing.
In regards to mindfulness, I get what you mean about how having your eyes closed fucks you up. I have a hard time with that too cause I find I get dizzy, which triggers panic attacks. So maybe try like lightly focusing on something in the general area or just focus on how your body feels, on your breath? It sometimes helps me when I'm having a bad panic attack and trying to bring myself back to the moment to stop the negative brain cycle.
I too feel like this with my depression and stuff but my way to go since not so long ago is that I just focus on the positive, let go of the negative, don't look back or too forward and don't let negative thoughts get in the way of my potential happiness cause it's a waste of time and energy when I could be doing anything that makes me a little happier. I guess part of feeling better is training your brain to think he is already on his way. Anyway, love you Dodie♥
I've already mentioned this a couple times when you've asked about mental health things, but CBD oil has helped me pretty well. It's been shown to be effective with depression and anxiety in some empirical studies with few side effects, and I've seen one mention of someone with depersonalization using it. I don't think that's been studied though. Other than that I'm sure anything I have to say you've heard before. Mindfulness meditation, tai chi, breathing exercises, etc. One thing I also reccomend looking into now that I think of it, if I recall correctly at some point you said you think you might be suffering from complex-ptsd. If so one thing that might help with that is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. Hope you find the right help for you and that your mental health starts to weigh on you less. <3
Once I read in a book (Three Times at Dawn) that when we start over we never do it because we want to change ourselves. Instead, we mean to change card table, since we can never change our actual cards. But I think that sometimes when we lose, it's not only because our cards are kinda crap, but because understanding how to use them in the game is very, very complicated. However, we can learn to do better, we can win if we look at them in the right way, for the right amount of time. It can be depressing- to stare at something that is dragging you down. But it's not about staring at them, it's about trying to figure them out and focusing on the good cards we have. We can use so many different strategies. There has to be a way to improve what we are doing. I can't let myself believe there isn't.
i always have this fantasy of running away and changing my name and being liable to nobody but that's just not how the world works. might have come from me watching skins a lot when i was younger and becoming fixated on these characters and why and how they ever felt free lol
My derealization went away for a while and I was so happy! I focused on not focusing (ha) on the issue and the intrusive thoughts and after months and months, it worked. Then summer came. I spent most of it in my room, which I'm not even upset about. Recently my family went on a week long trip. I was so excited. I couldn't wait to leave the house and travel places I've never been before. It was fun at first, then it wasn't. I started to get irritable. I hated everyone around me. Every little noise bugged me. For an entire day I refused to leave the van. When we got a hotel, I obsessively cleaned everything. The thoughts I managed to get rid of came back and I couldn't stop them. Nothing is real. Nothing matters. At night I would go into the hotel bathroom and cry. My derealisation came back. It fucking sucks. And I don't know if I can last the months it's going to take to get rid of it again.
I know this is a serious vid and all and I'm very very very very glad that you're attempting to be content in every moment (which is extremely healthy and helpful btw), BUT THE HARRY POTTER REFERENCE AT THE END I CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF
I had a dream thing. Every so often I dream I can fly. When I'm depressed I don't have the flying dreams. Despite currently being depressed, I had one last night, and it felt so real I woke up and expected to be able to fly. I can remember the dream clearly. I can remember the way flying felt and the way air moved around me. In the dream I told someone what flying felt like "the weightlessness of swimming but I can breathe". I think it was my brain sort of reminding me that I wasn't always depressed, and that I won't always be. That I will be able to fly again.
hey dodie, i've related a lot to your struggles mentally, i also have anxiety and derealisation/depersonalisation and i fell into depression. i went to CBT for a while but it didn't really do much for me. recently i found a psychotherapist instead of a CBT therapist and she has helped me change my life. She wasn't on the NHS, she is private but luckily she has affordable prices. I hope CBT works for you, but if it doesn't (like me) I suggest looking into psychotherapists near you. It's completely different to CBT and I can't explain how much it's helping me through this. Thank you for being so honest through all of this I wish you the best 💕
Hi Dodie, I struggle with depersonalization too, alongside restless legs syndrome. Recently I read Norman Doige's "The Brain's Way of Healing." Experts in the book recommend patients to engage in vivid visualization when experiencing pain as a means of rewiring neural pathways to put a permanent end to chronic pain. The book mentions that depression can be cured in a similar method and I've been trying it out for my depersonalization and RLS. Hope this is helpful, and I wish you all the best (because you deserve it 😇)
dodie, I definitely recommend you read the book "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma". I know it's mainly on trauma but one of the symptoms is deperosnalisation. The guy who wrote this basically describes different methods of therapy not including drugs and dunno maybe you'll find it interesting or helpful and try sth new like EMDR or I hear yoga really grounds you. wish u the best tho!!
Can't remember the last time I had 'that moment'. One of the worst things about depression imo is not only believing that you'll never be happy, but that you've never been happy either. Oh well. Life goes on.
I hope you can eventually feel the way you used to but I hope you still enjoy your time in America despite what's happening in your brain and dont feel bad if it seems like you are running away because honestly doing fun things for yourself might help I know it helps me to be doing things I typically enjoy even if I don't enjoy it as much because of my mind it still helps a bit
for those signs there are only two letters for each letter. so she couldn't put a thougHts because there wasn't another h. I have the same sign and you can change what it says on it :)
about ur description: you don't necessarily have to close your eyes! I've done mindfulness too and closing my eyes made me freak out so my therapists told me I had to focus on one specific thing, for example a picture on the wall or something outside. It really helped for me!! maybe you can try it :) xx
If there's any specific places in your home that are connected to memories of being extremely depressed/depersonalized then try to switch the, around a bit and make it feel like a complete different place. While you're traveling currently think of places in some of your happiest memories and do some things to make each hotel/place you stay seem familiar and happier. Something that might help also is keeping a tiny notebook of some sort and carry it around with you throughout the day. Document the best parts of the day with as much detail as you can and also document your lows. At the end of the day go through them and remember all the lovely times of the day and go through the worst parts and try to think of ways you could prevent getting yourself into those situations tomorrow !
(This isn't very good advice and I'm no expert on helping people feel better, but I hope this helps someone anyway ?)
Dodie, you're probably never going to read this but I just need to say that you are so, so strong. I'm not just saying that because I watch your videos and your super talented, I'm saying this because I see beauty and strength in people and there is a lot in you. With all this madness in your head you are still such a lovely and coping person. It may not seem like your coping well, but your here and reading this right now. You're breathing, you have made it through another day and that's enough. Keep staying strong and we all love you.
Also if you could give this a like for Dodie to hopefully read this and maybe make her day that would be lovely thank you so much x
I've read that some mindfulness exercises (like closing your eyes and trying to relax) don't work for people with dissociation (and exacerbate it) so you might want to be careful about that
God I've had a crush on you for such a long time, I wish I could re-wire your brain for you so badly I love you so so so much you don't even know🌻 also thanks for not going on that trip and coming to SITC as i got to meet you and that was the best moment in my entire life ❤ thank you for existing lol
with all the travels coming up, it may be easier to be in the present and really enjoy the next adventure. but with that said, it's important to take a step back and really notice where you are. just noticing and witnessing it without setting out to change your mental state is a good first step to being in the moment and appreciating who you are. i'd say that the rest of that comes later, but i can't say for sure based of my experiences. but good luck and do what you gotta do, girl!
Hi Dodie, Ive been dealing with anxiety for six years now( which sometimes leads me to have depressive episodes) and I can relate with the feeling of needing to run away from life and wanting to start fresh like mental illness will go away like magic. One thing that definitely helps is to accept that you have your mental illness and that you are not feeling ok, and not try to think i should happy, i shouldnt be feeling this way, etc. You can accept it and learn how to live with it by your side, since is something you can't make Go away. Doing so really helped me learn how to cope better with anxiety and panic attacks. Once you take that pressure out of yourself of needing to be better, ironically it makes you feel better. That doesnt mean letting It consume you, but more as If keep working on It but without trying to push It away. I know it sounds weird, but in a way, you need to be friends with your depression, because the more you try to push It aside the harder It is to heal it. And know that you have to be your friend during this period, and not Beat yourself down for feeling this. Accepting isnt easy, but with time and practice it will be and It makes dealing with it so much easier. I Hope my explanation wasn't to confusing. Stay strong Dodie, know that you can get through this hard period of your life.
Remember that CBT is a process! Your brain has been this way for years-- it's going to take a lot of time to rewire it! But it CAN be rewired! I've been going to therapy since March and putting the time in on the homework the therapist gives me really does help. Sometimes it's as simple as acknowledging your emotions and the physical state of your body to ground yourself and then to talk through in your brain whether your assumption about the world which is informing your actions is true. Love you lots! Hope the Con goes better than expected.
I wish I knew what the answer is, Dodie. I would tell you if I did! I don't suffer from depersonalization, but I could still relate to most of what you said in this video. Thank you for making it! It made me feel less lonely with these thoughts. hugs <3
I know there is not magic fix to depersonalization (I've been through it). Depersonalization occurs during moments of great stress/ anxiety. For me it helps to think "this is just stress" because that's all it is. And by thinking that it kind of reduces the Big scary word "depersonalization" into something much smaller and much more relatable, "stress". I'm not saying that it's a magical cure but, for me personally, it helps make it seem less scary! I hope you and anyone in the comments dealing with the same thing is doing alright!
@doddlevloggle this video summarises one of the main reasons why mental illness is so frustrating. Often, my brain turns on me too. I am 17, turning 18 v. soon, and my aspirations are to be what you are: successful. I admire you to heights for your talent, and success.The thing is, it is so easy to become jealous of (and- please don't take this in the wrong way- but even resentful towards) you. I find myself thinking 'this fantastic woman has everything I could wish for in terms of success in creativity, work, talent...yet she is finding it hard to appreciate these things...why...?'
Then I stopped myself.
Because it dawned on me why bad mental health IS so bad: it is SO SO SO difficult to appreciate your achievements when your head decides to press the fuck-it button. I have plenty to be grateful for, but my depression usually clouds it. So. It was just to tell you that I get it, and you've helped me reinforce that fact: to remain on the saner side, people have to take care of their brain 💛 on that note, we can still be successful- it's not like we have to put everything on hold until we are a-okay 👌 mentally...it just needs to be a priority so we can appreciate...well..life! Thanks dodie, and well done for all of your achievements x
The moment that true joy entered my life was when I found my life's purpose. I don't think you need to come up with one defining life purpose to be happy but I promise that by giving purpose to your decisions and thoughts will make it so much easier to be healthy, body and mind and soul. A good question that can get you started is what would you do with your life if you KNEW you could not fail? Hope that helps you as much as it's helped me.
It takes practice to enjoy each moment. How I started was if I thought a day was negative, I'd notice, stop myself and then try to think of the positives. It doesn't have to be massive. E.G. Yesterday at work we all got evacuated from the building. (everyone's fine, staff and public are all good.) That could have been seen as negative. However, in that moment I was thankful 1 that it was nothing serious, 2 I was in a situation where I wouldn't be in a casual setting. You see I haven't gone for a few drinks after work so this was a situation where we were all standing around talking to one another. 3 I was just grateful because at that moment countries are dealing with three different hurricanes. Or, I'll recognise the good conversations I've had with people.
It takes practice, the more you notice your thoughts to stop and switch them, the easier it will be. It takes practice but just like playing the uke, that took practice. It was difficult at first I'm sure, after practice a song becomes second nature. You no longer think about where your fingers need to be, or what chord comes next. The same can be said for enjoying the moment. You'll get there. As I've always said, no matter how big or small the steps, keep moving forward.
I don't ave depersonalisation, but my ADD gives me similar symptoms. That numbness/floatiness has been my faithful companion for a long time now (the best I can describe it is with the Loneliness-Meddlum in Carrie's All that she can see) and I've had four precious days of absolute clarity and presence this years. Two of them happened when I cut off my hip-long hair to a pixie cut. The third one happened when I got my daith piercing, it was a little lighter though. The last one was when I had my tongue pierced. That one held for a little over a day. The difference I noticed is that, the less people know about the change I'm making, the more clarity I get. Noone out of my family knew I was going to cut off my hair. Everyone knew about the daith piercing. Three friends knew about the tongue. It's like everytime I commit to a change that I will get to announce like an achievement, I get clarity from the moment the change is initiated to the moment I announce it. That's not the healthiest coping mechanism to make myself feel real, but my therapist encouraged this behaviour strongly, because they're all temporary changes if I want them to be and they're much safer than self harm. I want to get tattoos eventually and I've told him about that and we reached the conclusion that tattoos being permanent, need more reasoning and therefore should be discussed beforehand. This is a good "small fix" for me. I don't know if it could help you, but maybe it'll help someone?
Hey Dodie, I know that you probably won't see this but oh well. I've been watching your channel for a while now and I have been in love ever since. Your music is beautiful, I love all of your covers and all of your original songs. I love it so much! Also, I know how you struggle with your mental stuff and it's really helped me with my own anxiety to know that other people feel the same and you talk so honestly about it. It makes me feel like I'm not alone and I'm not a bad person and everything to do with that. I wish I could go to conventions like sitc and everything because I really want to meet you. Lots of my school friends adore you as well. I hope to see you next year at some point because it would make me so happy!! Thank you for making such great content and music and being so open about your depersonalisation and depression and anxiety, you have no idea how much it has helped me. YOU'RE AMAZING!!! (btw I wish I could pull off glitter on my face like you) :)
Dodie, I had some thoughts that might help you with your depersonalolisation maybe. This is very long haha so the summary basically is try to read some Russ Harris books if you haven't already! It seems like you are often stuck in this cycle of "omg I'm depersonalised", which then triggers your brain because its a learned "bad" thing, then you have more negative thoughts like"will i ever feel normal again" which dont help with the anxiety/depression which then triggers more depersonalisation... and so on. So basically I read an article a couple of years ago about how every time we have a thought and then a reaction to that thought we are actually creating and recreating PHYSICAL brain pathways- which is how habits are formed. You know all this but please keep reading! But every time we have a thought and catch ourselves and have a NEW reaction we create a new pathway that the brain can "go" down? I dont know how it works but the point is the more you practice the new thought-reaction combination the deeper the new pathway becomes until it replaces the old habit. I guess this is the basics of CBT so probably stuff that you already know, BUT theres more! There is a book called The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris that is all about combining CBT with mindfulness and it is based on that concept of creating new brain pathways but instead of doing it through having a negative thought like "im ugly" or "i feel really depersonalised right now" and then actively chasing and responding to that thought with "no im.not, stop thinking like that" or something, you are supposed to just notice that negative thought, let it sit and exist until.it fizzles away again. So the habit being created here is that the negative thought creates NO reaction, just a recognition if its existence as a bunch of words strung together to create a sentence in your brain. The theory is that by actively trying to change the thought you sort of reiterate the idea that it's negative and needs to be changed so your brain has already gone down the negative pathway (and hence recreated it a bit more) and now needs to come back up i guess.... by using the mindfulness approach you sort of eliminate that part of the process and the new habit becomes more of a "cool, i'm.having a thought" reaction. And it takes the power away. And breaks that cycle :) This isnt going to cure you obviously but its something that might help with some part of that process i hope! Something to bring up with your therapist maybe. :)
omg dodie!! i really wanna meet you. you are the reason why i started playing the ukulele and singing. i'd love to get in contact with you, my instagram is taya_lyn_delorme . ❤
for me it felt like a snowballing effect. I had this one good moment, which turned into a good day, and it just kept building on itself until my anxiety was in the distant past. I'm sure I need to find a more permanent solution than "whoops it just went away one day and now I'm fine" because I'm still afraid of it coming back every day and I'm not 100% yet. but life is more bearable now and I can think clearer and actually actively fix my brain.
as for what triggered the good moment..... idk?? ? lol which is quite scary because I don't know how to stop the anxiety if it ever comes back. but I think traveling really helps, the change of environment refreshes your mind and every time I traveled I felt like I got one step further.
anyhow I shall conclude this by saying I love u SO MUCH and you will find a way to get better. <3
CBT has helped me more than words can say. I was in a bad place where I urgently needed therapy, so I went privately instead of waiting on the NHS-the only con is the money, but I honestly can't put a price on the therapist I have! I'd recommend going private if you really need it asap and keep searching until you find the right person-kind of like finding the right antidepressant. I'm now on a second SSRI and hopefully will do something this time :) you got this <3
Hey Dodie. I really missed you. I went on holiday and listened to YOU EP 24/7. I love u a lot and u have really helped me come to terms with my sexuality and my anxiety. Thanks for all you do.😚🖤💋hOlLy 😊 PS: Is now a good time to come out to my parents ( they both have gay brothers and I'm 13)
I relate. I get deeply attached to people quickly, and at the moment I'm really struggling to learn to let go of my teachers. I have dreams of them helping me, of me having conversations with them in made up scenarios, and I am given the motherly figure I so badly wish for. Yesterday, in my dream I heard my teacher talking to me, and it was so clear, which for me was sad, I haven't heard her voice since December. In our final conversation she told me it wasn't goodbye forever. I'm leaving for uni in 3 weeks, it's hard to come to terms with the fact it was goodbye. I felt like I've been waiting half a year to see her again, and it never happened.
Like now I'm a new person. I no longer go to the school where i found so many teachers to trust, to find hope and love in. Now it's all over and I'm on my own.
I literally imagine, ditching my phone, social media, flying to California, cutting and dying my hair and just leaving all my stuff behind and hoping to gain some clarity. Living in the sun. Reading books instead of clickbait and feeling content.
I have just been referred for CBT with EMDR ... apparently EMDR does exactly that, reconnects your brain to your heart etc. Might be worth looking into? x
Have you tried any medicine? I am on a wonderful meds for depression (Effexor) and i haven't felt this like myself for 4 years. I know people are scared it will change them but mental illness is NOT who you are. If you haven't tried any yet I hope you have considered it.
Also Dodie, I love you and you deserve to be happy. You don't know me but i would take away all of your pain and carry it away with me if i could. You are like a best friend to me. Do whatever it takes to get better.
Dodie, you don't have to close your eyes to do meditation/mindfulness if it makes you feel bad, it makes it easier to focus to be sure but you can do it without. There isn't just one way to meditate.
I feel the same way a lot. Most of the time I feel sad and alone and i can’t let go of what happened in the past and I’m a mess. But sometimes, I get this feeling, a feeling so familiar to me, because it’s just how I used to feel. And in those moments when everything seems okay, i’m okay. i think that it’s the things that create those little moments of happiness that we need to hold on to.
every once in a while I get a brief time of no anxiey/depression and it's. wild. honestly, you feel like you weigh so little and everything suddenly feels POSSIBLE and in those moments, I feel hope. because regularly, I'm almost sure it's impossible to truly get a healthy brain, but then those moments come and I think maybe I can get there, or at least a little closer someday.
It feels nice for we to talk about we dp because it makes me feel not alone in having this horrid disease. I love listening to the way she describes it because I had described it the same way my entire life and I've gotten 'just a phase' or 'you'll grow out of it' or 'it's just an out of body experience' or 'it's nothing' and it's just so comforting and warming to know that it's an actual disease I can work through. Ily dodie!!!
I know how it is to dream of traveling when I'm down. It starts when something in my life (I don't always know exactly what it is) makes me feel trapped - so then, the Prisoner's Prerogative (look it up if you don't know what it is - it FASCINATES me) kicks in and I WANT TO GET OUT OF THE TRAPPED FEELING. So, fuck the idea that you're "running away from your problems," friend - that's self-care, because travel generally makes you feel better, right? And it removes you from the environment you're in, right? So, if you can (with a psychologist/counselor, if you can't do it solo), I'd recommend thinking on what specifically makes you want to leave the life you have. It might not help you, because mental illness works differently for everyone, but for me, it disempowers that voice of discontent in my head that pushes me to just leave my life behind when I'm able to understand it explicitly.
This isn't something that will rewire my brain is just making a list of all the things you are stressed and sad about. It really helps to get it out of your system. Then it's easier to address things one at a time instead of having them overwhelm you.
a bit of a weird tip, but i'd suggest rewatching your old videos and rereading your old instagram posts (mental health permitting). I've been feeling the same way for awhile and it was really easy to believe that i was experiencing life totally different a few months ago and everything is foggy and worse now, but this morning I read through all my old poetry on my phone and i was SO pleasantly shocked at the perspective it game me!! i don't know how to explain it, but i highly highly highly recommend it!!
I wish this wasn't triggering for me. I skipped to you and Josh part, and it made me grin listening to FUN and you two singing along. I'm grateful for that bit.
I have struggle with this a lot myself and I always listen to how you yearn for before that feeling of depersonalisation, when life felt good and real? I tend to feel really lost and in some sort of void because I don't have any good in my past to hold on to and just sort of feel like there's nothing. It's hard to explain. Sort of like being suspended I guess. Come from nowhere and nowhere to go. Just sort of there for no particular reason.
I can relate because I used to cry every night and just couldn't calm down, and now I can just - go to bed and feel ok. One can only appreciate this silence when you've lost it before. I hope you find it again
Ugh, I also would just love to just get up and go Chris McCandless my way through a bit of my life (of course skipping the dying part) and experience the world and just live and try to escape my anxiety and depression and to get away from everyone and everything... But I'm like 16 and that's not an option for me
Hello!! This year I'm in i sophomore year and I'm taking honors English! We're doing an anthology paper on a topic in which we were able to choose ourselves. I chose depersonalization because it's something that my mom and I struggle with at times. If anyone has any books, short stories, short films, movies etc. that could connect to depersonalization and/or a character who goes through it, it would be so lovely of you to comment. I hope everyone has a nice night, evening, day, or morning and take a nice nap. Byeo
there's this thing where it's like physical therapy but for your brain and it's called rewiring your brain, I think buzzfeed did a vid about it but yeah you should totally check it out, I love you, stay strong Dodie 💚
It seems like you're ripe to do some running away. I believe you can be happy and at peace. I believe your desire for vivid experience and wholeness can aim you. I think all of these projections of ourselves that we put into screens can feel....heavy, small, strange, not good. Run away Dodie! Be FREE! However you go forward, I wish you well!
hey dodes! very late and stuff but! i think you should read the chapter runaway which starts on pg 141 from connor's note to self which could kinda help you put what you're thinking about in perspective xo
i too have that urge and i just read the chapter and it brings me sanity and stuff 💛🌻
recently i've been thinking of times that you should try to live in the moment for (i don't actually have depersonalisation so you've either tried it or it just wouldn't work but nvm) like when you're eating really good food or on a theme park ride or just generally any other opportunity that won't come round again, or at least for a very long time. as i said it's probably useless
Something that has been helping me latley is kinda forcing myself to go out, to enjoy and he happy about it, to be silly and bubbly in public like i use to be before my depression and anxity and doing all this has been helping, i still have bad days of coures but thete starting to get fewer and far between.
Have you tried mindful meditation? I've been practicing for a bit and it's really helping. You need to keep at it though. It takes a bit to feel better and you have to work for it, but it WORKS.
I know this may sound weird and standart, but i am sure that you will get better soon ! And if taking a break is what you need, then just do it ! You dont have to do all this, maybe go travel a bit and if you are lucky you will meet new friends :). Also : if you need any help be sure we, your community, will always be there to help you dealing with all this :). Keep it up doodle
HIGHLY recommend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to anyone with mental illness. I went for my chronic fatigue and anxiety and it really helped! Hope that you feel better by doing CBT Dodie, it's nice as a viewer seeing you so enthusiastic as to achieving good mental health. I don't mean this in a mean way, but it's much more pleasant to watch as a viewer compared to when you film while you're feeling very unwell. We all do it, but in that state of mind one can be very negative.
as someone who writes a lot of poetry and travels a lot, I tend to stare out the window with my music on. But I always make sure I have it in a certain order, I'll have the depressed songs go first so I can let my brain be upset, then I move on to what I call fiction music. For me this is soundtracks from video games like undertale, pokemon, etc. I let the music take me back to that place where I can be anything I want to be, where I have support from a perfect world. And I let myself be content in that music, I feel happy. Then I play my thinking songs. Songs about things that are irrelevant to my life, and imagine that someone else be that party animal or love struck heart. That happiness that's just barely coming through I try to push out with songs like tongue tied, bellyache, ect. I think about how the world is so full of emotions and happiness and ideas. And that i can do and not do as much as everyone else. That when I feel like I'm floating away, I can get myself back by knowing that I am just like everyone else, my brains just has a couple loose wires. If you end up seeing this dodie, I'm not sure if it helps but I really hope it does. This is about all the tips I've got.
I have the same kind of thing where i dont really feel alive or in the moment but just kindof spaced out all the time but the thng is im only 13 and i first started feeling like this when i was about 10 i dont feel depressed or anything, im just spaced out
About mindfulness, though it may help for finding some peace, I also experienced that it makes me feel more spaced out, because you turn inwards, in stead of outwards, if you get what I mean?
I find something that helps my depression (I don't have any experience with depersonalization, sorry) is doing weird things. Not mountain-climbing necessarily, but things you haven't done or don't ordinarily do. And doing it without expectations. Without building up in your head how it's gonna be perfect. Just going in and going with it. This works even better if you have (as I have) a friend who'll just drag you off on an adventure or make you try something. Even just little things, like exploring a part of town you've never been to, or a new flavor can stop you thinking about your own thoughts and knock you back into the present moment. One more thing: it works better the fewer obligations, plans, and other mental/emotional baggage associated with it. That family holiday that's been planned months in advance is more likely to have expectations, stress (where's my toothbrush? we'll be late for our flight!) and any underlying tensions/unresolved issues you have with family members (even ones you aren't conscious of). A day trip to the countryside with a friend or two, a veggie platter, and a good record is much better. Or climbing on top of a building to look at the night sky. Just my little thoughts.
I'll be meeting you at vidcon Australia, and I'm really worried! Make sure to look after yourself! You are always so busy with other conventions in America, I'm going to make sure to remind you to take care when I meet you!
i do the same thing. i have dreams of living in a cabin in the woods with nature and a dog but the reality of that is that that leaves me so much time to be alone in my thoughts id die within 3 months
You sound like you're still very peturbed by your symptoms. How long have you had it now and is it episodes or constant? The mind heals when it heals its different for everyone so don't lose hope. I know when I dream I can remember the whole dream and even reference back to earlier parts, its just when I wake up I'll have a sudden thought and then boom - the memory of everything I've just dreamt is gone. Keep on keeping on :)
DODIE! I was literally in JFK one week before you sitting in the same area for a super long layover as well!!! IF ONLY I FLEW BACK LATERRRRR. That would have been boss to meet you. Whatever. I'm over it. (not really.)
On the topic of running away, Rosianna made a really great video on this topic called 'The Fallacy of the Geographical Cure' and I would highly recommend it!
You need to know that you are not JUST moving along in life, it almost seems that u don't realize how many lives you have connected with by talking about yours. I love you. -Lauren Y.
what you explain at 2:07 happens to me, but in real life, it's like someone presses a switch in my brain and just suddenly i feel like i'm inside some memory. it's weeeird
I can feel your frustration at not feeling the way you want to. I can only say that it will get better eventually. The ending to this is wonderful, and I hope you enjoy D.C.! I live in DC, but I can't come to Playlist. Look out for the dinosaurs!
I do not feel embarassed when you talk about your mental health issues. They are many times very relatable to me. I will support you in your journey, to the extent in which I am capable to do so.
We love you Dodie! Feel free to be who you want to be, whatever that means....
Yours faithfully, Bart de Haas (from The Netherlands)
I can relate soooo mutch because I am in a similar situaition. But I think I can fix it I hope so much that I can. Everything is better than staying in a situation that is unhealthy for me. Love 💐🌼🌹
I feel like youtube is a really hard job for people like us because you just spend so much time by yourself and you're held to such ridiculous standards, just being out and doing things always helps
1. I thought Josh was drinking ketchup in the ending lol haha that'd be funnier than booze 2. I GOT THAT HARRY POTTER REFERENCE AYYEE Sept. 1 the first day at Hogwarts ayyeee 3. I'm so proud that you are starting to get to a place where you can be better. I hope that it all works out well for you in the end and I can't wait to see how happy you become.
uuuuh. my mom went on like a month long backpacking and hiking trip in peru to mentally heal around the time of sitc. i don't think it was a show though. but can you imagine if my mom met dodie?!
I don't know what's happening to me.... A lot has changed in my life recently but now things have settled down and something has happened in my brain. I've forgotten who I am and what I enjoy doing and I don't really feel anything. I don't really talk to my family either, I just put on a smile and pretend to be happy for my friends. I've been rewatching all of dodies videos that used to make me cry or laugh or just feel things, but I still feel nothing. Its the weirdest thing: to not be really sad but still feel so dissconected and feel nothing all at the same time. I'm so lost.
@ everyone going through depersonalisation or not feeling real and panicking over it, I've been going through the same thing and I'm starting gcse's in 4 days. But someone replied to one of my comments a few weeks back (shoutout to that guy) and I started meditating. Like 3 minutes a day. If anyone's going through it seriously try and clear a bit of space in your mind. I thought meditating was bullshit but it's slowly helping me reconnect my mind with what's going on around me. Please, please try it. I was hopeless about two weeks ago but I think I'm going to be okay. Good luck to everyone suffering ily
I'm not trying to be negative, but I'm gunna tell you my experience with trying to rewire my brain. It's extremely easy to feel and if you play the right music, and have the right things around you, you think that you are going to succeed but it ends up getting extremely hard to keep up.
Nice Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets reference at the end there 👌🏻 as for rewiring your brain tips... here are some tips I have. For one, I recently just made a lil list of all the things I tend to do when I'm feeling depressed and low. Basically like a list of "warning signs". This is good, because then when you spot your self doing these things, you'll know to practice healthy coping skills instead. This'll help you rewire, because you can catch yourself and stop doing the immediate gratification bad coping skill warning sign stuff, and rewire your response to do healthy things that have long term healthy effects. Journal, draw, sing, take a shower/bath, call a good friend, go for a walk/drive, listen to music, dance, exercise, cook, eat something healthy, or just sit and let yourself feel. Takes a lot of hard work and self control to pull yourself away from the immediately gratifying and comforting things, but eventually its habit forming and you'll find yourself doing the healthy stuff first. This may not solve everything, but it will make it easier and put you in a better place to solve other issues. ❤️ you Dodie!
Dodies when you get to Australia look for beyond blue and headspace, they're really good for advice online, in real life and many other forms of communication. I personally use beyond blues knowledge pages so far to get me through because headspace costs money. But I know headspace has a hella nice looking app that could be very helpful. Hope this can help. xoxo
I too dream of being a hippie, leaving all your problems and worries behind and living in the moment, constantly on the go. Learning and experiencing new things. At the moment my minds a scary place and the idea of just adventuring and being on the move sounds wonderful.
I have a question -- it might sound strange -- but when you add text to your videos, I'm assume you're fully aware that they're never on the screen long enough to be read? Lol do you want us to hit pause and read? Because I always do haha
Firstly It's fine you didn't fail! You didn't post every day but you took time for yourself so you could spend time with your family. I know what you mean about never feeling present and feeling like you're just plodding along. All last school year i felt like that, constantly looking forward to the holidays never appreciating what was in front of me. So much so that when the holidays did arrive they weren't as good as I expected. I spent most of my summer holidays looking forward to other things in the holidays like going camping or going to Sicily. Now the holidays are over and I realise how I just let a whole year go past barely appreciating any of it until it was over. Year 9 was supposed to be the last care free year before I started exams for the next 4 years of school but now it's over and I have nothing to look forward to except the next lot of holidays. However this year I'm really going to try and appreciate each day as it comes and not count down until the holidays. I'm going to start by doing little things like listing/writing down 1 good thing that happened each day and make sure if I can't think of anything then I'll do something that makes me smile/. Anyway I know no one will read this but I just needed to get the rant out and if dodie you are reading this (by some miracle) no you are not alone.
Just teach yourself to see everything as it is. Not darker. I've been there, and honestly, what helped me a lot was just thinking everything has a beautiful side to them, and then I'd work on seeing it. I started by collecting quotes, then watching the dusk and the dawn, then the stars, then going to the park and watching the birds flying and the trees dancing in the slow wind. I wetted my socks in the rain. Then I did confidence exercise in the mirror, calling myself a babe and bursting into tears because I was laughing. Life is shit usually, but there's always something that's worth getting better to see a brighter tomorrow if you dig deep enough. (I really hope you read this and get better, no one deserves feeling bad, especially you)
That thing you mentioned about running away and throwing away your phone is so odd because I just finished writing a song about someone who just decided to leave everything but their car keys and wallet and ran away without a word... I totally get what you mean tho
I have these times where I feel like I'm Scrooge in a Christmas carol; Looking into a world without me in if that makes sense?... I feel so alone and crappy
I'm starting CBT soon because I've been having counselling for months and it's not working. I'm so nervous for it just like I was before counselling even though it actually helped me get a long way it's not just getting me any better and that's why I'm gonna have CBT. I hope that it will work and I hope that it will work for you too.
Try to spend as much time as possible with the people who love and support you, the ones that make you feel safe and content. Do the things that make you happiest, but don't force yourself to enjoy them. Listen to your favourite music; notice all the little things in life, like how the stars shine and birds sing. And try to get rid of the things / people that make you unhappy or stressed. Hope you feel better soon 💙
Hellu I'm just a person who you don't know, but...Dodie you are incredibly motivated and willing to push yourself to your limit if it means acheiving your goals: YouTube, EPs, a book for heavens sake! And because your mental health is something you desire to overcome and conquer, I believe you will, because that's just who you are. You're not stuck, you're strong. You're smart. You're sassy. You are a light to others even in your darkest moments. Good luck with the next month of insanity ✌❤
I was in a pretty dark place last year - I was working too many shifts at a job I despised, I was absolutely hating learning to drive (still hate driving but I can do it now) and I was stressed about my exams and my huge looming future that I still don't know what to do with. I went on this family holiday to New York, and I expected it to solve all my problems. I needed a break, and I wanted to forget all my stress. But I didn't, I just took my issues with me and thought about what my future would be after the holiday. So I think the key to solving your problems, is to accept that they are there, and try to cope with them the best that you can.
I was thinking about when you say that you haven't been the same since you were 17, and I think I can relate. I've always been an anxious individual for reasons I'm not to be blamed for, but when I was about 15, I had this huge anxious episode and ever since, I've been more aware of my anxiety and it's been more pronounced since then. I think I've accepted it now I'm 19, that I probably won't be as content as I was before my anxiety hit me properly, but that's okay. I can deal with it when it comes and goes, and I'm not so tired of it. It still affects me, and sometimes I wish I could go back, but I just can't go back and one day maybe it will all be alright.
I know it's probably a rare experience with what helped my brain? I'm not one of those people that doesn't go to doctors when I get sick, and depression/suicidal thoughts daily wasn't any different.. but nothing seemed to work AT ALL. Then one day I went into my doctor for migraines, and she told me to try some B-2 vitamins and magnesium before putting me on actual suppressants. WITHIN A WEEK my migraines were no longer a 3-5 day ordeal, and HOLY GOODNESS MY BRAIN STARTED IMPROVING. It's been about 4-5 months since I started this, and I can't say I have depression anymore... maybe it's a placebo? Idk? But if nothing seems to help you could try this (I mean it's probably a bit cheaper and you don't need a prescription). Again, I'm not one of the people who thinks that regular medicine is evil, and I'm really all for going to doctors and therapy and that stuff, but if you don't have access/would like to try something else, vitamins really worked for me :)
dodie im very very happy you haven't stopped talking about mental health after your oversharing video, i thought you may feel apprehensive to talk about it at all. but i feel it's a great thing to normalise it :)))
Well dodie, my main issue is anxiety, so imma relate everything back to that.
But it helps me to remember that your body doesn't react because you feel a thing, you feel a thing because of how you've reacted. For example, that jumpy feeling isn't because you are scared, you get that jumpy feeling (fight or flight lol) and your brain notices it and is like 'oh we should be scared let's do that'.
So if you feel anxious, don't be like 'man my heart is beating so fast because I'm anxious', instead try thinking 'I'm anxious because my heart is beating fast and I'm having hot sweats' then try and combat those things, do things that slow your heart rate, control your breathing, drink some cold water, put a fan on yourself, EAT SOMETHING, HEALTHY, SUBSTANCE.
This can really help me but it'll never be a quick fix, but you'll get there and look back in however long and be v proud of yourself, I know I'm proud of you.
I had years of just plodding along. Some kind of metal sleep of just day to day routine, work stress, anxious about all the what ifs of the future, some life goals that got manipulated into my head with these arbitrary age dates (like at this age such n such, etc). As all that was going on I had my music and my martial arts as coping and growth parts of my life that I felt like I could control. That was a lot of my 20s. Getting bogged down, tune out, head down and work. Just make it to the next week. I did have some moments of clarity and "I need to go do this!". I had waves of depression that I eventually figured out and coped by going to Disneyland. I'm probably going to talk about it in my VEDS in a few weeks. Just getting myself out of the house and to a very familiar place that has a nostalgia factor but still I'm around a lot of people who were generally in a good mood. I might need to go see a therapist, but with everything that's happened to me in the last two years things have changed drastically for the better. Good luck with your CBT. Disneyland will still be there when you visit again.
Hello!! First of all, have fun in DC (it's where I live :D) and if you want, there's a little town-ish thing called Westover about 15-30 minutes outside DC (by car) that's great for dinner and a short walk (Lost Dog is the place to go for dinner). About brain stuff: have you heard of EMDR therapy? I don't know much about it but I believe it quite literally rewires the brain through motion (not surgery, it's external)? I think? Not entirely sure but it might be worth looking up :D I hope you feel better soon!!
I have OCD and psychosis, I am constantly preoccupied with my obsessions and never feel content or 'present' I constantly have an overwhelming feeling of worry and dread and panic, and the fact i can never feel content in the moment causes me to become seriously depressed, it's so frustrating and annoying, people who don't suffer from mental illness honestly don't know how lucky they are.
Part of my sadness circle is constantly thinking that any other person in the same situation as me would get something out of it that I'm not, go in a direction I can't go in, have that life changing epiphany during important life changes. I just stand there and think it's not happening and for someone else it would be. I don't even know if this makes sense.
Anna Albritton2017-09-01 21:07:04 (edited 2017-09-01 21:56:57 )
OK! I have a suggestion for something that might be worth trying out! Hypnotherapy! I had a couple mental issues and hypnotherapy has helped me SO MUCH. Basically, it's where you get put into hypnosis (the most relaxing comforting warm feeling by the way) and the therapist just sorts things out with your subconscious mind. They can help you reprogram your brain like you were saying you wanted. At least give it a look sometime... I wish you the best of luck on your journey dodie <3
Update: I did some research and apparently hypnotherapy is super good for depersonalization! It also can help you find the true root of your disorder. Highly suggest
Oh well don't mind me or my comment that's gonna be lost in this section, but I'm currently crying because you mentioned Peru, my country and then you said you wouldn't accept climbing the mountain. I actually had a minimum hope for meeting you and now it's gone again. I still love you and your music and videos 💛💛💛
second, i love you, and you deserve to be happy. ever since i was fourteen, maybe even earlier, i've been dipping into and out of these large chunks of my life where i just fall into nothing. there are always things that drive me into these holes. at fourteen, it was hating myself and my body because somebody had convinced me that i was too fat to be beautiful. this insecurity and fear of never being loved followed me for years, and still does now. between the ages of fifteen to about last year, it was that. any boy who approached me, any suggestion of a romantic relationship, i'd push away aggressively. i was terrified they'd grow tired, realize i wasn't worth their love, and reject me. so i would reject them first. now, it's abusive friendships/non-romantic relationships that have been consuming me. i won't go into it, but it's been different every time; emotional abuse, physical abuse. i've been literally told i wasn't good enough, time and time again.
but i'm growing through it. i'm figuring it out. every time, i have to remind myself that. i love myself and i deserve to be happy.
I know cbt didn't work for me but I really hope it works for you, I'm still trying this new medication I know I'm not great , but at least I want to improve and so I hope you can too
I hope that CBT goes well for you Dodie. Unfortunately I don't have much advice since I've been depressed for five years (so nothing's really worked lol), but taking part in brain exercises and actual physical exercise helps me a lot with being calmer and thinking more clearly (it is basic stuff, but honestly it made so much of a difference that I was shocked).
You need to listen to, "Hello My Old Heart" by The Oh Hellos. It's so beautiful and you should do a cover of it. I guarantee you'll cry the first time you'll hear it.
I had this week somewhere this summer idk when but I felt really happy and not anxious and Just content it was good I struggle with depressive periods but my main problem is overwhelming anxiety both in social situations and just in general and it felt so weird after all these years (like 2 and half not like 12 years) to just finally feel okay at first I was worried why I was acting so different why I had so much hope and my mind was clear ans j felt like I could positively take on the world and live my dreams then I realized that's me I'm not sarcastic or cynical or mean that's the mental me the one taken over my anxiety and sadness after that I wondered what ever happened to the shy but happy girl who wanted to be a cheerleader and do 100% in school always I miss it but I didn't realize till then but it gave me hope to carry on ans get better and you dodie can do a great job to make me smile and be happy for just a second and I hope that you get better and you can be happy and content in life
while watching some of your videos and you talk about how you’ve been, i wrote about he i felt of a day to day bases. i know you probably won’t read this or whatever. it’s too long. but i jut want to get it out there.
how i feel day to day: i don’t feel the numb everyone thinks depression. the informais numb. i can never say how i feel. i feel gone s lot. it sounds stupid. when bad things happen i put myself in my own head, i feel not where ever i may be at the time. i feel not me. that’s so weird. it’s hard to answer question. even the general like, what’d you do yesterday. i don’t remember what i learn in school non of it. maybe it’s because i’m stupid or because i’m not here. i motion though life without ever thinking about it. i wish i had a name for it. i also go though huge mood drops. but everyone says that’s what happens when you’re a teen (my drops range from feeling awesome and great like i could do anything to feeling like i don’t want to live anymore). back to my emotional state, there’s nothing there but there’s still something my stomach turns my head aches and burns my throat feels half closed, always. i get scared so easily if you simply raise a hand i flinch and kids at school think it’s weak. i just kind of exist. but existing and living are different things. sometimes it’s like i’m watching a movie of my life. it it isn’t my life it’s it my body and someone elses voice in someone else’s clothes. i feel like not me ever. i don’t know if you (as in anyone) got that or if you read it. if you did thanks. im sorry and thanks again.
Dodie, if you want to try grounding yourself. try to notice five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste [even if its just your tongue] its helps with my anxiety, but not sure of its effect on depersonalization...much love :D
Not sure if dodie will see this but oh well: I used to get some really mild depersonalization (or something similar) when I was really struggling with anxiety, and one of the things that I found helped me was meditation/visualization. Meditation can be hard to get in to- just sitting in silence and 'concentrating on your breathing' never worked for me because I just could not stop all of my thoughts, but guided meditation and visualization pretty much walks you through different scenes. It'll describe like a forest, and talk about what you hear, how the grass feels under your feet, etc., and I found myself able to stop thinking and just focus on what I was visualizing. Then when the mediation ended I would feel a lot more grounded and content. It's not a permanent fix but it can help during those days where you just feel frozen and don't know what to do.
i dont really know if this will help but i will say that like the many thousands of fans and human beings behind you, we can relate. at least i can. i was in a mental state of mind where i could not get hope to shine into my brain. it was hard and when i tried it just made me feel worse and sucked in more and more exhaustion because of the fact that i tried too hard. dodie, you seem like the type of person who in certain if not most situations depend on the words of yourself to help and comfort you. sure like the billions of people out there, you turn to your friends for support and comfort. just like i did. but you don't believe anything until you say it and prove it to yourself. that is the same for me. i need my words to help me. so i suggest maybe telling yourself over and over that you are in control. dont let the illnesses take control over your beautiful body. take back that control dodie cause in the end you've got this. you make the decisions in the end and sure regrets will come but take your happiness back. your happiness is inside of you, waiting to be discovered. it was always there. it's a human emotion just tucked away. but you can get it back. i hope i helped but heckle you probably aren't reading this lol. but i hope someone does and i hope helped. :)
I'll start this comment saying that I'm one of the lucky few people that have gotten over their depression and anxiety at an early age. I'm only 17 and I'm going to do my best to share my secret with anyone that has troubles not just dodie. The only important backstory I'll bore you with is that I've had a pretty shit upbringing and I barely had a childhood as I've had to mature quickly to survive my family and the people around me, which lead to some problems such as anxiety and depression and even some extreme psychotic episodes that i thought for a bit were schizophrenia which thank god it wasn't. What i found that worked is to do your best to focus on the good part of any given situation no matter how hard it may be or how bad you feel. Doing the best you can do in any situation and knowing you're doing your best and giving your all usually helps with feeling like you're accomplishing something so you feel less bad about yourself. Find people to add into your life that are extremely positive just about all the time, people that don't have many or any issues at all as simply being around people like that will lift your mood and help with your mental state, the people you hang around with have a huge impact on how you think and if it's any credit I'm taking a psychology class as well as having had to learn how people think to survive where i am.
TL;DR and bonus Honestly just find some happy friends, don't worry about negative feelings and try to keep positive no matter how hard because life is tough and you have to be tougher and always do your best with everything you do. Always remember that life gets better and you need to keep drilling it into your head that it gets better because it really does. Don't let yourself stay low and down, you have a life to live and nothing can stop you from living it.
do have any tips on dealing with panic? Not attacks but just in general, I listen to Dodie's music a lot and that helps a TON, but unfortunately can't listen to it 24/7 :(
I find that I get into my own head a lot. I'm always thinking of this quintessential version of myself and my life and I find that makes me quite unhappy with my present. So I try to make myself be more present. I use mindfulness. I'm currently reading The Little Book of Mindfulness by Dr Patrizia Collard. I carry it around as a reminder to stop myself from thinking about anything that isn't what is currently happening. I focus on what my senses are feeling when I begin to feel detatched. But it's a process, and a hard one at that. I hope anyone else who is feeling this way can find something that helps them.
i'm so SICK of being mentally sick and i just want to feel normal again, but i have no clue what normal feels like and it's just so much easier to stay in this state of depression and anxiety and ocd and depersonalisation, because the feeling of normal is unknown and i'm terrified of the unknown
neuro plasticity is a thing :) (that means yes to a certain extent people can rewire their brains) but it'll be the hardest thing you'll ever do. I'm suffering from very mean/dramatic/destructive intrusive thoughts and I genuinely don't know how to deal with it, because "shushing them away" feels a lot like repressing them and that's not good
HI DODIE I REALLY LOVE YOU YOU ARE THE REASON I WANT A UKULELE AND I CUT MY HAIR SHORT BECAUSE YOU GAVE THE IDEA THAT I CAN STILL DO EIGHTISH THINGS TO MY SHORT HAIR I LOVE YOU OKAY BYE
Something i learned from mother is that a lot more important things happen in our unconciousnes than reality.Dreams can say something about you that you are not yet realising.So maybe if you find some meaning in what has happend in your unconciousnes,that can help you realise how to fix it.Sometimes we do things(bad and good)unconciously that make differences in our lives.Also,what helps me in staying present is just trying to forget the past and not worry about the future and pick the things that make me happy now.Also breathing.Very deeply.Or thinking about the things that seem timeless(dont have to do with present or the future).Hope it helps!(also sorry if i misspelled something):)
Yeah i feel the need to escape sometimes. Funny that you said you want to run away to America cause I want to run away to Europe. I guess just no matter where we grew up we want to get out. for like a short moment i want to be home though because i went on a "vacation" as well and got pretty homesick (and realizing that my city is pretty cool compared to a lot of places). But my real problem is comparing my mental state to wherever I am when I know that it's an internal problem, not an exterior. But I blame my habitat when I know that I actually will have depression no matter where I am. So that's probably the main thing I should work on.
I mean it worked prett well for ed sheeran. Dodie, after your book tour is done, if you feel like the best thing for you would be to take an extensive break, we promise we'll be here when you come back. <3
Hi Dodie. I'm interested in the comment about mindfulness in the description. Mindfulness is a state of mind that cannot be attained, only accessed. It is something that is already within you and perhaps (?) the feeling of dissociation is due to you seeing that state as something other than yourself that needs to be reached. Really it's about a switch of awareness. I've watched your videos for many years now and had some similar struggles. I'm sorry you have to endure such dissociation and disorder. I have found a real presence and awareness over the years that has grounded me in the midst of all feelings of dissociation (which still occur, but are no longer a source of disparity or inconvenience). You seem to be an extremely dynamic and tender person and I truly hope you find peace within you and that it will provide guidance to your life. I wish I could talk to you about this but I doubt that will ever happen so I'm hoping this comment will reach you and reassure you that what you are looking for is already inside you and it's not so much about rewiring your brain as it is about gaining awareness and shifting your mental presence. It's not easy when your brain was not wired to cope with man made life, however it is completely natural and when things do shift for you, you'll realise how special you are to be so instinctively connected to some very real things that have been lost from the grasp of the people who seem to be living a happy and easy life. Xx
For rewiring your brain its just constant practice. Practice your happy thoughts. Practice grounding yourself. Practice Practice Practice. You literally have to forge new pathways in your brain then they will become automatic! :) Allso i would strongly recommend trying as hard as you can to not think about the future. In my experience, i would think so much about future events and focus on how amazing they would be, and in the end it just made me way more anxious and let down. So now, I only ever let myself think about hypothetical situations. If it has any amount of reality in it, i try to not think about it. Which is super hard, i just hope you see this and it helps you a little bit Dodie. Also keep persevering with finding a good therapist! Im so glad you havent given up. But ayo this video made me realise just how depressed i was a couple months ago. I always felt like since i wasnt suicidal it wasnt quite that bad. But oh man i so regularly wanted to just disappear. Move to another country, leave everything behind and start a new life. But one day my counselling just clicked, and now school doesnt make me want to cry and i cant even remember the last time i had a breakdown. Im still constantly making sure my brain is thinking in the right way, but im far happier now. To anyone who reads this, youll be okay <3
I know dodie won't see this! But CBT is tough and it works but you have to really try! Life changes and stuff. It's the same with medication. It doesn't fix it straight away but it helps. ❤️ I hope she feels better soon. I've been there and it fuckin sucks. Lots of love
CBT is a wonderful form of therapy, another solution if you feel like it isn't a good fit is DBT, it's a little bit similar but it covers so many different aspects of what effects our mental health. I have depersonalization and derealization as well as a few other diagnoses and DBT saved my life. I'm on the path to a life worth living and I've never felt more hopeful. I would suggest researching it!
i moved to Canada for a year and over-romanticised it as this big year of escaping and then when i got there i was happy but also MISERABLE so i totally get it. wherever you go, there you are!
You behavior and emotions relay strongly on the well rooted schemes in your brain. Those schemes are sometimes logical and have a "normal" feedback - i.e. your mum hugs you - you feel safe and secure and loved, just an example, if indeed during most of your life you felt that way when your mum hugs you. There is a pattern in your brain that goes from hug + mum = nice feels. These schemes also exist for situations that are risky, dangerous or what have you. But, sometimes these schemes we kinda makes ourselves trough life, are not the most "healthy" ones. For example, mine goes like this: airplanes - death = panic. I have so many times gone down this lane that it became a pattern in my brain, and now it is very difficult for me to not go straight into that sort of mindset that results in an anxiety attack. But, I became aware of the "non healthy" pattern that makes me feel in a way I do not like, and what I do now, is practice new brain patterns that can help my brain literally rewire itself. Airplane - very safe means of transport, takes you places you like, you like traveling i.e. plane is good. Something like that. You can write those things out and then make a conscious effort to thing about the new, positive patterns. It takes time and effort, but it really does help.
For people in 8th and 9th grade suffering with depression and anxiety because of school. Don't give up. I thought id never get out of my mental illness but now I'm im a new school and everything is so much better, my depression is almost gone and my anxiety has way less power over me. I'd also advice you to go to art school or take drama classes or something, just something that makes you happy. Because even though it might not be beneficial to your future job or shit like that, it will make high school so much more fun and endurable. And tbh if you have a mental illness, that is priority number one. Follow your heart
I managed to get there while I was scuba diving in Guam back in the 80s.Might be worth the trip if you can find the time to get dive certified. It's a magical kind of floating suspended neutrally buoyant in the water only rising and falling a little with your breath while looking at the reef life that looks like mountain vistas. It's very close to Satori, a Zen state of mind, where you aren't thinking. You are just kind of experiencing the world as it is without making mental comments on what is going on around you. Hugs my friend. I am confident you will find our way through this part of life to the you you want to be.
dodie! i'm the one who go the tattoo you drew at sitc. i'm going to be in australia for vidcon. i'd love to sit and have a chat with you or maybe treat you to a massage (by a professional definitely not by me lol) when i'm there. if you need a friend while you're there, i'd love to hang! Maybe some of my past can shed a light on some of your future. 😜
I'm really hoping that you get the help you need, because I know that not being able to feel happy is annoying, and I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. (On a non-serious, but semi-related note, is the word 'thoughts' on your sign behind you purposefully misspelled?)
Really for me it was a question of bringing myself back from the brink and then just...time. One day, I think it was a few days before my birthday back in March, I woke up and I like, wasn't sad??? And then it was a consistent thing??? Idk it's really weird and I still don't like to go out much or interact with people but it's better than it was
hi so i know this has nothing to do with the video but i need advice and i feel safe on dodie's channel 🌈 so; i am in the process of figuring my sexuality out, and i really do believe i'm gay, based on what i've experienced so far, and it's on my mind 24/7, like ALL THE TIME and i really want to talk to people about it and come out to the people i love. the problem is, i don't feel like i've experienced enough to be able to say i'm a homosexual, and i don't know if people will take me seriously... and i really WANT to tell people, i can't get it off my mind, but how can i know for sure? i'm only 16, how can i know that i won't end up liking guys too and being bi? i know you'll say i should just wait but i can't! this is freaking me out and consuming all my time! thanks for reading, i'd appreciate some advice :)
when i'm mental, everything feels like this is the worst, i feel like this is the worst moment of my life and anything will be better. so i relate a lot when you say that you want to run away because you're not happy now so you must be when you're somewhere else therefore you glorify everywhere else because where you are is shit. unfortunately the badness is in you and you can't run away from it. i wish i could. however, i've been trying mediating, it reminds that it doesn't matter where i am, when i'm mental i will always be mental, but in my happy moments or when i'm mediating, that won't leave me either
someday you will see this and think about how things change and you will say "it gets better" to people that won't believe you. I am the one to tell you that right now, hoping for you to believe me. I hope you will have fun as early as possible xx
I suggest watching Studio Ghibli films, reading books, listening to calm but upbeat songs, and just looking at the world around you. Look at how the light plays on the trees and buildings and ground, look at the clouds and the sky and the tops of the trees, look at what is present and real and solid in your life. Pay attention to the good things you cannot doubt like the taste of good food, the feeling of comfortable clothes and nice weather, the sight of beautiful landscapes and friends' faces, the smells of fresh grass and fresh food and new people and familiar places. Just pay attention to the now and the world and comfortable art. Find things that will make you feel and accept those feelings, no matter what they are. Accept those feelings and move forwards.
dodie, i want to talk to you about your video on over-sharing - because i think you didn't overshare. i think we - as a society - overengage... and that's the problem. the problem is NOT talking about mental health "too much" - it's over-engaging in it too much that's the issue (and that's not you, that's society).
im not sure if you have tried these or not but here are some suggestions that make me feel at peace: - meditaion (maybe at a beach or park) - taking a walk without headphones and maybe just a friend or two - taking a hike and listening to the birds - going to a animal shelter and patting the cats
Ahhh yeahss, the allure of the Geographical Cure. Been there - didn't work 😧 Whereever you are that's where you are, so unless you turn to drug misuse I feel its rather hard to take a holiday from your thought patterns. I really really struggle with this every day. But at 40 I wonder if this is just being human? I hope CBT helps. I find John Green helps me - Vlogbrothers Thoughts from Places. Can't wait to see you at VidCon Australia - I hope you are not lonely during your time in Melbourne.
if you ever need a place to run away to (bc god have i felt that exact way before) know you've got a friend in Baton Rouge Louisiana (though idk how entertaining it would actually be lol)
Welp. Here's some advice(I'm sorry if it's shitty): When your in that mind state you kinda start to give up and push off every idea to be....Happy. The thing is you can't force yourself to be happy as you know but letting yourself doing small experiences(Not climbing a mountain dodie:p). Just going some place you haven't gone before, like all the places you listed. I don't know😂 Honestly I just need some music and a view to feel a bit better. Welp Welp welp. Bye dodie that probably won't see this
hey dodie, i'm doing neurofeedback which is a direct training of brain function. they apply electrodes to your head and you basically just watch a movie and your brain functionality gets a little better every time you do it. it helped me a bit cause my depression hasn't been very deep for a while. so maybe you should try it out? also i'm not very good at explaining how it works and what it does so i'd recommend to look it up on the internet. (:
It's so nice to know I'm not alone. I've recently found a mental help app. It's called "What's up? - A mental health app". its been very helpful for me lately. But always remember that you have people you can talk to and that you aren't alone. I often forget that and it makes it so much harder. Keep your head up and press on, even through the hard times. It's worth it. Even if you don't see it getting better, push though because life is a beautiful thing. 💛
I know this is a REALLY personal question so I wouldn't be surprised if my comment wasn't acknowledged but I'm just curious if you have ever suffered from any form of self harm? And maybe if you could do a video about it) if you're comfortable with talking about it)❤
honestly ive been doing pretty bad myself, but not particularly on the depersonalisation front. im extremely fickle these days, and i think its some kind of coping mechanism. like, i'll have this utterly bad ansiety/panic attack or like a really bad freak/breakdown thatll last a couple hours and ill feel very intensely within my own head and then, when ive gotten rid of all the extra chemichals thatve made me lost it, i'll just feel drained the whole freaking day. better, but EXTREMELY not there. just out of energy, but also completely forgotten how it was that this thing made me feel the way it did or how it felt. its like... depersonalisation from my mind as well, which is weird. feels like its tuning out stuff, which it probably is, to make me better. however, ive been getting little moments every once in a while. i'll be sitting on the bus, coming back from model un at 7 pm, lights on in buenos aires, people talking all around me and feeling sleepy, and suddenly i can see the colors pop out and feel the warmth and the texture of my clothes and really /hear/ what everyone's saying. or i'll be sitting on my schools grass area, the sun going down, summer breeze coming through and i can feel IT and i can feel THINGS and i dont care bout my skirt tracing the shape of my big stomach roll or my thigs coming out. the most recent one was like two weeks ago walking round a forest covered in snow at night, coming back from an activity from a trip we take as a school group (its tradition, dont think about it). id never flown, never gotten out of my city really, never gone on a trip with friends, never partied as much and never seen snow before that and then it had happened. to me. i was there, and i felt so extremely happy and content and just not as hollow and i didnt even care that no one talked to me and i dont know. it lasted for about fifteen minutes, but i can remember it so well. oh god. i guess what im trying to say is... the good comes with the bad or something. itll get better and itll get worse. you'll feel there but the depression can get worse cause of that. i dunno if it gets better, but it progresses. hope i made sense.
I have a million tips for how to deal with it, fix it, whatever. I don't know what will work for you, though. That's a process, that takes time and a chance to get to know the person who needs them deeper. I watch these and I wish I could.
I guess, if I had one somewhat catch-all tip, it's to do something different. Whatever you've done isn't working, and don't just do what other people tell you is right. If you're not hurting anyone, do what you need or want to do to be a better you, even if everyone else thinks it's stupid, strange, or uncomfortable.
One of the most liberating things I've ever done is accept, and then learn to love the broken bits. Learn to take things other people think is wrong and make them my happiness.
"and then i'll be in australia for vidcon" just that little tiny statement hurts fuuuck i'm going to be in melbourne the day vidcon starts but my plane leaves earlier on in the day i want to cry
Wow that sounds like so much travelling holy shit. I don't know how well you deal with DPD when you're travelling but maybe your brain rewired itself for a little bit when you were on holiday because you actually decided to go like, "okay, im going to not focus on my life back home and actually take a break" so you like didn't have anything to worry about in the moment?? and maybe that made your brain go like aight she's finally letting go a little let's adapt to that for a lil while. Idk man, I so desperately want to rewire my brain. It's so fucked up to the extent depression and anxiety rule my life, I don't even know who I am anymore because they're all so intertwined (plugplugplug buy on itunes listen on spotify) together. I hope keeping yourself busy with travelling and touring helps Dodiee. We miss you, love from Bangladesh
I think its difficultly to flip that little light switch in your brain that wishes you could live now and here. Personally I try it all the time, I want to live now and here and have hopes for the future and not dwell on the past; but its hard. Its hard when all of what your past is what makes you the person you are today. However, it is possible. I dwell on my two best friends that help me go through life, I dwell on my older sister and her college life, I dwell on my parents and how at times they are annoying they're the best parents I could've wished for. It's the little things, like the fact that no matter what I can still look back and sing Would You Be So Kind and think of my crush that ignores me. Maybe even the fact I know what song will go off at 8:20 in the morning to go off to my Film Studies class. Its the fact I can look at my cat and smile when she looks at me annoyed. So despite worrying for my future which is catching up to me I think of here and now. You and all the things around you, I think, in a sense I've pinned all my hope on you dodie. And I don't want to sound alarming of any kind but I've pinned my dreams and hopes and all my love on you. Which is weird I guess. But its something that helps me get by, and I thank you for that. So yes, you can switch that light switch and you can rewire your brain because I know you can. I know you can and will always get through this. 💛 ~ geena
brain re-wiring tips - its a meditation app called Headspace! It's so lovely and Ive been using it loads. It's free, but if you pay for a subscription you get a bunch of extra stuff (like a meditation pack for depression, anxiety, loneliness, lots and lots of stuff). Might be worth a try!!
Dodie I love your videos, and all of the art you make, but I sometimes feel worried that you do so many things and go to so many places for your fans that you don't allow your self time for full self care. I was actually a bit relieved that you didn't finish VEDA. I am really sorry that it didn't quite help like you thought it would, but still in the future if you need to take a couple weeks off I hope I speak for all of your lovely viewers when I saw PLEASE DO. Of course you know yourself best I just feel like sometimes it can help to have others encourage self care.
My depression it's not diagnosed, I've never went to see a doctor for it and i haven't told anybody, but it's 2 years since i started to feel this way and by now i'm sure something is definitively wrong with me. I won't tell you all my struggles, but i want to ask. How to tell somebody? Or how else i am supposed to start fixing myself?
i realized I'm am lowkey a hippie, I'm taking a break from social media, metal music (that sometimes makes me anxious) and some friends and been listening to woodstock 69 soundtrack religiously and I feel GREAT
hey dodie, so i have a small problem. its my most important year in school and my friends they're being so bitchy about the entire situation. i dont whether its about competiton or something but they clearly hate me at the moments. lets name my friends a, b and c. so basically, a is going around telling the rest of my entire gang to stay away from me. she feels that i become mentally close with a person and just when they start spilling secrets i run away and dump them. she thinks im a bitch. she liked degrading me in anyway possible. then there's b. this guy's friendship with me has always had its own faults. so now c is a person who im uncomfortable with and dislike her alot. now b has been my childhood friend for about 9 years now and c has just become his friend not less than a year ago. c fills in all these bad things about me to him and makes up random stories. he believes her for some reason. so now b and i had this huge fight and now he chose her over me. im devastated dods. i really dont know what to do . i cant concentrate at all and its annoying the hell out of me. if you could help, it'll be really nice.
You know what you say about the past in When ? Well I feel the same but about the future. The past was ehh for me and the present pretty much sucks, I can't do much because of my crippling anxiety, so the only comfort I find is in my future. Except the future I fantasize about needs to be planned *now*, and I can't do it bc of my anxiety. So idk what to do. I guess I'll just fantasize about the future until I don't have one anymore?
Dodie can you help me, I'm going to school in a few days and I'm dreading it. My brain keeps telling me to disconnect from my friends and I keep imagining just leaving them all and being on my own. But then i feel really depressed and lonely and I'm so confused and I hate school.
Recommendation: I think you need to put your treatment first if you really, truly want good results. It seems like your treatments get placed on the back burner because of conventions/trips to LA, etc. I think a big reason why things haven't been working is because of these interruptions. You shouldn't have to "hope you'll have time" for treatments that are essential to healing your brain :(
can you remember the exact moment you started dissociating???? I can and I really really really regret it because I think I could have prevented it if I hadn't done the thing but I did the thing and now it sucks
Dodie, I think part of the issues you have are that you have a very busy career now. When there's a lot to organise, the calm contentment is harder to find. I partly found that when I entered my career, then much more so when I had to juggle that with having a family. The CBT sounds like a great idea-but can you slow down with your travelling/working a little too? It's hard to find happiness in the small moments if every small moment feels wasted if you aren't organising the next big thing... Also, if that isn't possible, can the CBT be conducted by phone/video call? I would really try not to miss it-I have friends it has really helped.
Dodie please please please prioritise your therapy 😥 I understand you have a lot of responsibilities as an artist and you want to do lots of things but please work on your mental health with professionals especially during days like this xxxxx
I just finished NCS and I hated it, we also to go on a hike up a freaking mountain and my legs and back were killing me for the rest of the time we were there and having no signal just made the whole thing worse and I was feeling really sad because I had never stayed away from home from that long before, I would not recommend it to anyone
you get a zillion comments so not sure if you will see this but one book that really made a big huge giant difference in my life regarding depression and anxiety and being mindful is "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle <3
I'm literally sobbing rn your gonna be in Toronto and I could meet you that would be my ultimate dream I already missed seeing tatinof I don't want to miss seeing you now
ok so it sounds weird, but if you spray a natural scent on the inside of your wrist, and whenever you feel stressed or nervous or just not good, smell it and think of something happy, so eventually when you smell that scent you link it with happy memories or thoughts. :)
I read the mindfulness bit at the bottom of the description box and you don't really have to close your eyes to do it. You can just sit or lay or whatever with your eyes open and try to focus on not focusing
I totally know what you mean about imagining the best scenario.. it's my birthday sunday, I turn 23. I've had the worst year of my life.. and I'm SCAreD Of SUnDay, I just want a nice birthday but I'm scared I'll feel numb and BorEd and indifferent. Going to celebrate this weekend though as if I'm REALLY happy, currently sat in a pink bubble bath, with a face mask on, due to see Mamma Mia in London with my mum tomorrow haha. WOOOOO BIRTHDAY WEEKEND F*CKING COME AT ME!! luv u dodes x
ok but lowkey a sad emo cover of some nights could be really bomb like "some nights i wish that it all would end cause i could use some friends for a change"?? is MOODY AF
my therapist always says "never should on yourself" aka don't get down on yourself for something you THINK should happen or you think you should be. life and recovery are both crazy rides that never go in a straight line. i've been in recovery for over two years now and I'm no where near the end. just keep working everyday on rewiring your negative thoughts and your negative thought distortions. it takes time and still have multiple thought distortions every day. really my only advice is that it takes constant work and a lot of time but it's worth it to be happy. good luck in your recovery and your therapies. <3
Hey dodie, you probably won't see this, but do you know how to tell if you're depersonalizing? Because sometimes my brain kinda zooms out and I feel as if my life is a movie that I'm watching and that I can't do anything. Thank you!
Tips on rewiring your brain? I've mastered it, give me a message if you'd like to talk! I still get negative, but it's in spurts... I'm so thankful for how I've chosen to change, I'd just rather talk about it privately!
Really the only way to do that is to take a break. To leave everything that you think matters and see beautiful places. I was lucky enough to do that this summer and I felt they way you discribed. I really hope you can. Spend a month or as long as you can doing things that just make you content, and I found that a lot of friendships I had were painful and made my life harder. I can back to my life now with new mindset, a clear slate to build my life back from. I chose the friends that made me happy and who helped me, and now do things simply for the sake of joy. Yes there are hardships, but I endure them for the purpose of a happiness in the near future. I was able to élimante the toxic parts of my life and feel better. Please try this, and please let me know how it wirks
I don't have any real permanent solution, but take lots of walks alone in nature. I like walking on a beach and singing to the ocean. Just be in nature and be content with yourself.
i'm honestly just watching this and thinking half of your problems are probably rooted from the fact that just like all the british people your age, you guys drink so excessively... if you want to feel content, maybe try enjoying the moment without booze in your system? and yeah, dodie, i'm not sure how financially stable you are with this youtube and ep and book things going on, but I'd definitely suggest a lil' one-or-two months' worth of social media break. I don't think it's physically possible to be so active online without making yourself feel worse, especially with your mental health issues.
I had no phone for a week and it was amazing to have to open my laptop to connect on facebook. I deleted all social media except YouTube and Facebook earlier in the year and now I'm considering getting a brick just for calls and texts... I meditate, do yoga and eat clean. What have I become? I don't recognise myself from 6 months ago!
I feel like our world lately is so self centered. We are always looking for ways to please us. When will we finally take time for others and to please them. Not overworking yourself for them but just doing simple things. It improves your mental health and will for sure make you happier.
I have a suggestion for depersonalisation, not that I've been through it or understand, but to me one of the biggest things that makes you you, is your voice. So maybe concentrate on your voice. Now that I've typed this out it sounds silly, oh well.
If you wanted to take a break from YouTube no one would blame you someone time you just need time to recover and Connect to life I know it not that easy but don't put pressure on yourself to do YouTube. Btw i think you amazing and I do know how you fell
if you're able to, you should really try putting your phone away, not use your short-therm memory, try relaxing, without using the work part of your brain, it might damage the other parts of your brain, might make you feel kinda spaced out or depersonalised, the parts of your brain that should be working with the parts of your brain used for work and concentrating are instead just kinda inactive and stuff, I hope this might help <3
It's strange, I want to run away to England, stop talking to my family, they don't really appreciate me or talk to me regardless, and start over. Be me, whether that's me being trans, or maybe bi gender. Because I think I may be. I'm not sure. But I can't be that here with my family
honesty for honesty, i can't do otherwise. I feel the same way, but the main difference between you and me is that i don't have a past happy me to go back, since i can remember i always dreamed of people who loved me, or finding a girl i love and just sharing my life with her, i spent my life chasing dreams with my mind but my body couldn't bother to move, so i'm alone and stuck and sad,but dreams are still driving me to not shut down completely, the healthy dreams are moving to England, start writing scripts and directing shorts and create a career and make art till i die.But there is the unhealthy dreams, already wrote this on twitter or comments, i'll explain better, every time i felt alone i used to create a connection with characters (from books, or tv, or animated shows), that resulted in me creating a connection with youtubers, i don't worship you, i don't think you are a superior being, i just think that you are interesting and understanding and someone i'd like to hang out with, and so i think of Hazel and Sammy and Jack and Dan ecc.... but this is the problem, you are real people, i know that if i'd talk to you you'd respond to me, and i just wish i could be friend with you guys, and create beautiful things with you, but that's wrong, it's something unreal and damaging, and i'm terrified that one day i'm just going to lose you and i'm going to be alone, even more. So why write all this? well i guess to say, dreaming of how you used to see the world around you, or running away from those weights attached to your chest is normal, better than else, i can assure you. I could talk to you forever but i'm going to shut the fuck up, i'm glad i'm not the only idiot who slips into fantasies to run from itself.
i think that people who don't know whether they are feeling content or not, DO feel pretty content. maybe not fully but to the point where their brains don't bother them. it's like someone asking "how do i know if i have oily skin?" and someone with oily skin says "trust me, if you have to question that you probably don't have oily skin. you would have noticed by now and it would really bug you". do you know what i mean? i envy people who don't have these thoughts crossing their minds
stop planning stuff. Keep doing stuff like, twitter so we know you're not dead, and maybe some sloppy covers on doddlevloggle like once every two weeks. Go to the doctor, live a normal life, play shows on the street just out of nowhere with your ukulele case open and asking for change in the tube. Do anything you want and is in the spur of a moment- try it for at least two or three months after the last thing you've planned (book tour i think), and just give yourself some reset time, please.
you're not gonna believe a word I say, what's the point of just drowning another day? And I get that I don't get it but the world will show you that you won't regret it. There WILL be a day where you can say you're okay and mean it. I PROMISE you, it'll all make sense again!! ~~ You said that yourself Dodie in your beautiful song and it's inspired me so much with my mental health struggles so I'm reminding you of these hopeful words because I wholeheartedly believe you WILL be okay and you will be happy in the future, my dear <3 so much love xx
I can't go to vidcon Australia because too expensive and yet I'm still freaking out because DODIE is literally three hours down the road and AHADESFCWTHFSA
EDIT: and I know this video is about mental health and really important stuff but I just clicked on the most recent video 😅
I know this probably won't help beside you probably won't see this dodie but there is a book called "the chimp paradox" by Steven Peters and if you are on a lot of planes and traveling it is worth the read cause it may help you understand depersonalisation and ways to help it mentally idk :/ anyways ilysm❤️ vmoa (videos most of August) was great ;)
Dreams are fun to create and exist in. They can also become destructive if they seduce you as far as to start making the grass seem not only greener on the other side, but make your own grass look brown and dead. I'm a romantic in all of the ways, and it can be difficult to curb the habit of daydreaming of things that seem fun or ways that my day or life could go better. It was a major coping mechanism and mode of entertainment when I was growing up, so merging into adult life, which is not fun 95% of the time, it can be hard to move into the spaces where it's full of uncomfortable emotions and hard choices and feel at home. It's gotten easier as I've started to feel more confident in my ability to handle hard situations. Playing the role of and adult, so to say, can end up feeling really satisfying. It's different than fun and dreamy and perfect, but still good.
Wishing all the best! You're a lovely human being.
Ive been exactly the same!!! I have to force myself to stop daydreaming about anything realistic because it was too destructive. Glad youre doing better!
Dodie! I want to help! Maybe you should try MEDITATION? i mean like the real deal boedha meditation, it's (shortly said) about being in the moment inside yourself by concentrating on your breating (at first) with the goal to "heal" yourself and the energy inside you. It takes some discipline but the effects are a general higher level of concentration and attention, lower level of stress, and some more great benefits! you can't do anything wrong with it :) YOGA could be an idea too and maybe less a step to take compared to like hardcore hippy meditation ;) lot of love and support! <3
Lately, I've been very depersonalized. I'm not myself. I've been not caring about literally anyone or anything. My empathy for people is fake. My smiles are fake. My happy feelings are fake. I'm just very not here. I'm depressed very much so but I feel absolutely nothing but some agitation and anger. I don't understand and I don't seem to care. I can't get out of it but I don't seem to want help. I'm just going with the flow of life without actually trying or thinking or having emotions.
I really want to become content too, and I guess I am kind of working on it, but in a really subtle way because I'm on this new medication. I'm not sure where it's taking me, so I'm just kind of going with the flow. I'm not sure if I'm depressed to be honest, but my anxiety is DRAGGING me down from my potential of what I could ACTUALLY be doing. I've been so scared recently to do anything other than what I'm comfortable in. I guess my anxiety paralyzes me, or stops me in some parts of the day. And to top it all off, my parents have gone over seas for three weeks and I'm in a completely different house. But it's a new environment, and it's fun, and I'm kind of happy here, away from the norm. Ughh! But I'm scared of trying my hardest and then failing, and then not knowing what to do from there because I've never made it that far. Like, what if I have so much devotion for it, and then it slips through my fingers... I guess I can still enjoy the little moments and imperfections of it. And if I miss an opportunity, then a lot more will come around, and it's not the end of the world, to be fair. Yea, I'll be sad and disappointed, but if I learn to be kind to myself then it will all be okay in that moment. But then again, what if I start to become blind to my insecurities, and then I never fix them, or what if I'm hurting someone and I don't know or don't want to admit it because "life's so great" or whatever. Haha! I guess, arguments are clearing the air and they will always happen no matter what, we're going to make mistakes no matter what. And I love to fix things when I'm not tired, I relate to people's emotions, so I can be there for them. And if they don't want me to and they leave... then they just didn't care enough and that's their problem. Wow, this escalated from hobbies and career to people and relationships. If you had the time to read this, thank you so much. As you can see, I am working on positive thinking, I am a positive person, but obviously not all the time. I guess I'm just becoming a realist. Okay, I'm scared now... figuring out things about myself that are permanent... shutting down... bad brain can't handle... goodbye
Perhaps you could work with a Faster EFT (emotional freedom technique) practitioner. Faster EFT is a form of EFT that goes deeper and supposedly works more efficiently. EFT involves tapping with your fingers and hands on certain trigger point on your body whilst also using affirmation and its used for both releasing old thought forms, beliefs and emotions and also anchoring in new beliefs and emotions. If you search Faster EFT on youtube there will be tutorials. 💛
Also im guessing youve already done this but if you didnt know, there are many videos on here where people talk about how they overcame their depersonalisation and tips, although this isnt something i can speak to because i have not had it.
Mindfulness is the only way. Read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. Meditation is the only way to require your brain to live in the present moment, in my experience.
The only tip I have for rewiring the brain is to distance yourself from the things that truly make you unhappy!
For example, I was very very unhappy for a very long time, and I needed a major change. And so, with very little forethought and at the slightest provocation, I picked through all of my belongings, packed about 10% of it all, and moved 1,900 miles away from where I was to begin the slow steady process of rebuilding, preeeeetty much at the drop of a hat. I said tearful goodbyes, I gave gifts, I received gifts, I promised to stay in touch, and I left everything and everyone I knew behind. Now, you probably don't have to do anything nearly this drastic; I had a whole lot of baggage holding me down and this was the easiest way for me to get it all out of the way so I could focus on being the person I wanted to be, rather than the shell I was that constantly felt crushed under the weight of various stresses. After being here for a month now, now that everything's settled and I'm starting to make real changes and get things on track, I can say it was the greatest mental health step I've ever taken. It was terrifying, it was hard, it was sad in its own ways, but once I got over that stuff and realized that the bad was gone and the good was always with me, I was able to truly move forward for the first time in years.
So, needlessly long story short, remember that the bad is temporary and only stays with you as long as you let it, but the good is always with you, even if some of it is in memory~ Don't be afraid to do the scary things in order to right your wrongs; scary things help us grow and learn how not to be as scared anymore <3
SIDENOTE: Some would say I ran from my problems, and in a way I did. However, the problems I ran from were the sorts of problems you cannot fix. I ran from those problems and ran right into problems that I can fix, problems that when fixed, will make me a better person. Sometimes, escape is the only good option. There's no reason to repeatedly smash yourself into a brick wall because you don't see the value in walking around it and leaving it behind you~
Ingredients: 1 cup bisquick mix 3 tsp. sugar 1 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. vegetable oil 1/2 cup milk 1 egg (makes 6-7 pancakes)
Directions: -Get bowl and whisk -Mix bisquick mix, baking soda, and sugar first -Mix your eggs milk and veggie oil (and mashed bananas if you want) -F U S I O N H A (mix your ingredients together in a bowl, and try not to overmix it so the pancakes aren't too tough) -Once the batter is nice n' smooth, let it set while you get your pan, butter, and spatula then clean up the ingredients -When you finish cleaning and setting up, get your pan and coat it with a lil' bit of butter -Put on stove and let the butter melt (I set it to a 5 when melting the butter, and turn it to 3 and wait a bit before I make a pancake) -Mix the batter around for 5 seconds to get rid of any bubbles -Get a measuring spoon (1/4 cup is the best size if you want a consistent pancake shape) or a ladle and pour batter onto pan -Wait for 60 seconds or however long it takes for your pancake to be a light brown by checking your pancake every 10 seconds, lifting the pancake if possible by only a little bit and flip if you think it's done -Flip and wait 1/2 of how long you waited for your pancake's first side to finish and take off pan and into plate -Repeat until batter is finished -Enjoy and take care of yourself! :D
Tips: -Buttermilk is better for pancakes, use it if you have any -If you are adding bananas, there should be as many bananas as there are eggs
hippie here who just wants to say, one straw is unnecessary, let alone two. plastic straws are a big problem and big part of plastic pollution. plastic never goes away, it breaks apart into tiny pieces called micro beads. if it hasn't gone into landfill, it gets into the environment & usually makes its way through gutters and rivers into the ocean. and by the time it's in the ocean, if it hasn't already been mistakenly ingested by wildlife, it is infested by fish. no animal can process plastic whether whole or micro beads. so they die in one way or another -starvation usually. these micro beads also attract toxic chemicals, literally becoming a poisonous pill. once inside the belly of the fish the chemicals enter the bloodstream. we then eat the fish and the chemicals are in out bodies. don't mean to be greatly saddening but it needs to be known. i hope i don't sound preachy. there's a documentary called a plastic ocean which is much more informative.
recently I just felt an extreme need to escape and it was v weird like as if everything about me on the Internet just had to go and so I deactivated my Instagram accounts and my Twitter accounts and like I kinda just dont go on snapchat anymore so now I'm quite detached from the rest of the world and everything its quite nice being able to just not think about anything to do with anyone I'd recommend it tbh ive become better at not checking social media and being here still sad as fUCK tho can someone help me with that
ooo, You went to Cyprus? I go there nearly every year with my family; we normally go down to Paphos to The Hotel Cynthiana. I mean, my parents go because the rest of the family is going, I just go because of the cats. Just the cats... flipping love them.
REALLY? COOOOOLLLLLLLL! I wanted to jump off the rock, cliff, lion-king-slope thingy last year when I went, but I life guard told me off. But me being the rebellious freespirit-edgy-nerd-thing I am, I did anyway. I sprained my ankle. oops
I wish I had some advice but tbh all I can think of that helps me is, instead of leaving your worries behind or dwelling on them, you should give them to God. That way you know somebody is taking care of them for you so they don't COMPLETELY disappear altogether (because of course that won't happen) but you don't need to constantly focus on them or have them eat you alive from the inside constantly. But I guess if you don't believe in God then you won't see this as an answer anyway sigggh but still, prayers xx
I know this might be a shallow answer, but diet and exercise is helping my brain a lot to rewire itself. Don't get me wrong, I am going through a lot of stuff especially when it comes to depression and anxiety, I barely get time for myself most days. But I have made it strict to bicycle to work everyday(no matter how much I feel I don't want to do it, or how much I complain that I don't have the time to do it, I have made it the most important thing and everything else doesn't matter). I am working on getting my diet proper, right now. I can go into details but please trust me on this, and I am not saying a light exercise should do it, just push your body to the limits and keep your goal really high. You might have tried it, if not please do. Once again this is just a suggestion, you know your condition better, i can just make a calculated guess for you. Take care Dodie, hope it helps.
In addition to previous, initially no one is able to do much when it comes to exercise. Just keep at it relentlessly, and one day you'll see yourself performing better than before. Get someone who is knowledgeable to help train you right and not over do things.
I love you. Can you please ask a couple (two) of your lovely subscribers to go check out the wonderful Muuchan ASMR? She is lovely and talented and is TWO subs shy of hitting a well-deserved 30k. Thank you.
Dodie please do a collab with Gabbie in the near future if you can because I saw you in her vlog and I've been watching you two for the same amount of time (since like February of something) and when I see you liking a pic of hers on Instagram vice Versa, and when I saw you in her vlog it made me feel so complete so plz do one (musically and normally)
Do you know of a way to get yourself thearapy without having to tell your parents? I tried telling my mom that I would like to get tested for depression or anxiety and just anything that would tell me what's wrong with me but she didn't listen. She said my brother used that excuse when he was little and went along saying kids think they know everything and said we would talk about it later but we never did. They tend to do this thing that when you are feeling a way that it's your fault and you are making yourself like this. They are wonderful people my parents but you can't really talk about this stuff to them and they are already going through alot so I don't want to be inconsiderate and my dad thinks only he is right I am currently in my room because I tried to talk to him about how he talks to my mum and how he shouldn't say thoes things and he got upset and said it was bs and I have no logic and he stopped me from making my breakfast and yea anyway they have been through alot and I can't really talk to them but I would still like to get help. I enjoy watching your videos about it because I thought no one understood how it felt and you described it perfectly which helped in a way so thank you dodie
If you know and understand that your sadness comes from an imbalance of chemicals in your brain and you really want it to stop but you physically can't will it to, then you go onto anti-depressants to fixed the imbalance of chemicals. Anti-depressants often act as a temporary fix if you aren't mentally prepared to get better however if you are mentally prepared to fix yourself then often a 6 month course (that's all) can make you right as rain indefinitely. Ps the wonky side effects are incomparably small compared to depression.
Tip on how to rewire your brain: check out Joe Dispenza. His stuff is all about this. It has really helped me a lot, but I get that it can be too good to be true when you just look it up. Please just give it a go :)
hi!! I don't know if you'll see this, but why not say it anyway:) If you are ever looking for a little town/city to stay in, you would totally love (I know it's far away) but the Troy/Rochester area in Michigan. There are plenty of smaller towns around it like Milford, royal oak, etc and many people are all about just enjoying life!! if you're not into that, Grand Haven, Michigan is beeeaatiiifffuuul and sooo relaxing. I hope you can make it out there sometime, it's verrrry nice and relaxing☺️
I think your brain will not be as it was but it will be good. It is going to be in a third phase: 1. good ol times 2. frightening shit happening all the time 3. frightening shit happened but not anymore or I don‘t know maybe I can deal with it now dunno but it‘s all ok
Isn't basically what touring is? Granted it's a part of the job, but it gives you an excuse to run away for anywhere from a couple of weeks to two years. Anyway good luck.
Treatment takes commitment. The brutal truth is that you never seem to actually commit to a treatment. You plan trips (that you say make your brain feel bad) instead of staying home and getting a steady treatment.
I loved this video and I'm still in the middle of the video but I wanted to know if you know what ennegram number you are? I have a hunch but I wanted to know to confirm or deny my hunch
WTF WTF WTF WTF Dodie I am from Peru, I live here and omfg I would've died if you actually came omg, you are like my idol and omg omg omg i'm like crying rn, I can't believe you almost came. :( Please come, even to Lima, please please, I love you so much. Ok bye :(
Maybe if you start journaling (if you don't) you'd have a place to dump all your baggage and it helps you learn stuff about yourself like therapy? Idk what I'm talking about or if you still do therapyyyyyy buuuut it helps me:))))
hi Dodie, please don't feel obliged to nod happily or think 'hey I'll give this a try' BUT I too had a period where I felt depressed and depersonalized. (I wrote a blog post about it here: https://paintingtheoceanblog.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/right-now-how-its-not-going-to-be.html ) ANYWAY, I was at a stage where I was just screaming to feel 'happy' and 'content' and just 'normal' again. And then there was one thing that helped me get through it, to hold hands with 'myself' again... (this is where everyone goes running) and that was God. I listened to this song - Trust in You by Lauren Daigle - and felt a peace like no other. I was crying for about an hour but they weren't tears of frustration or helplessness. I felt hope. Hope that I could get through this feeling. And guess what? I did. Sending you all the love in the world... Again, I completely understand if this wasn't what you wanted to hear :) I just have to share how knowing him makes me feel xx
Guy Pope2017-09-02 00:29:42 (edited 2017-09-02 00:31:00 )
I hate to say it Dodie but overcoming your fears is the best way of 'rewiring' your brain. It's psychologically proven that the best way to treat someone with anxieties is to do the opposite of formulating a 'safe space'; you take them out of their comfort zone and gradually expose them to their fears. People don't become less fearful, but rather more brave and self-assured. I sincerely hope this advice is useful to you.
i firmly believe that cbt rewires your brain, as a psychology nerd and as someone who has had their life fucking transformed by cbt. however... i was in therapy varying between talk therapy and cbt twice a week for 9 months.... and im stil in weekly therapy (mostly talk therapy). the thing is.. it takes time. all mental health solutions do. but let me tell u, after my therapist reminded me to be kind to myself, and stop negative self talk as soon as i recognize it, etc. i just wish u the best dodie and i wish i could give u my exact mental health resources/opportunity
Hmmmmm.......try looking at Nicky Case's video about neurons and rewiring your brain n' shiz. If it enlightens you and makes you motivated enough to make getting better a project in your life, you should let them know.
My tip is to not indulge the thoughts of depression and depersonalisation. Don't indulge them. Don't let them grow bigger than they have to. Back in 2014, I would sit alone and really, really indulge them. Write about them, cry about them, moan to my mum and friends about them. But the minute I started trying to be creative about other things, on purpose, forcing myself, something shifted. Slowly but gradually it shifted. Now, I still feel that way, of course, but I banish it as much as I can. I create a fairytale fantasy. I write about it but in an indirect way, so it can't sneaky up on me. But, I know this does not work for everyone. The thing about mental illnesses is just that; they are mental. There are mental tricks you can play. Maybe. I suppose. The mind is a complicated, intricate, wonderful, beautiful thing.
if you ever wanna run away, run to lafayette, louisiana. it has realistic southern and cajun culture and music as well as delicious food. i have a queen size bed in a small apartment that you can crash on. you can change your name and prefect an american accent and write about your silly little journeys throughout the city.
but in all seriousness, i hope you feel better soon. everything will be okay.
Jordan Peterson talks about our dreams possibly being our brains trying to work problems out. so it makes sense that you have been having depersonalization dreams.
i will be at your show tonight not that you will see this till after if you do but just want you to know if i see you i have one sentence i want you to hear from my lips so i will try and talk to you between my screaming sisters i will only say that one thing to you it might even help you with your question here.
I love you Dodie but why do you try to do things like Veda when you know you can't, why don't you just post videos when you want to without putting the pressure on it and then you won't feel like you've failed
Are you oversharing? Are you comfortable with this video? idk, you have struggled with this, so I'm just worried. keep an eye out for your oversharing. If you are comfortable with this video, then nvm.
Pray, I don’t think you are a Christian... and I know u won’t see this. But it’s the best I can do. I had major depression less than a year ago and praying about it changed my life.. I’m just saying, you have nothing to lose :) love u dodie, and commenters (this can apply to anyone)
I know you probably don't want to hear this but honestly God id the answer. Just pray! Pray that the depression is just taken off of you and the worries will flee! I know you might not be a Christian or might not be anything, but what do you have to lose? If you're at rock bottom than praying can only help or not make a difference. Also I'll pray for you. I suffered from depression and God is the one and only answer. Noting on this earth will last, but God is eternal! Have a wonderful (happy) day Doddie :)
You're talking about moving to America to make you happy, but why America what about it would make you happier? I'm seriously asking because I live in America and I've always wanted to live in London and maybe that'll make me happy. Maybe the city I just live in is awful but I don't like living here that much.
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Charlotte Rudge2017-09-01 18:00:18 (edited 2017-09-01 18:00:40 )
dodie is the best and most relatable, heart warming, talented, loving, caring and more to all of us. she shows us care, love, kindness when we see her. It's a shame when we know so much about her that she doesn't know anything about us! so i really hope one day that dodie will do a world tour and i live in british columbia and most singers rarely go there and it would be nice for a change when you visit! AND update with my name, i'm glad to say i don't have to deal with them anymore because i'm moving high schools! so ye
cant to wait to see you live ! are you doing a meet and great? dont feel presured to do one though xx love you so much and your such an inspiration to me
23andMe is doing a research thing (mainly for depression and mental illness) that I'm taking a part of where you take a survey every month and then play games for nine months after spitting in a tube. It's to help people in the future and to help understand and best treat it. Just letting you know in case you were interested.
I'm jelous of your problems. Not in a mean way at all but I think you need to re-evaluate how much better your life is than so many other people's and realise you have what a lot of others wish they did.
Amy Rose they're not 'problems' lmao she has mental illnesses... like regardless of how good someone's life is they can get ill, both physically & mentally ya kno???
klarabella I get that a mental illness isn't a problem I have a lot of mental illnesses myself but when I look at dodies life I'm extremely jelous and what I'm saying is I dont think she realises what a great life she has. And I'm sure it's not just me who looks at her life and wishes theirs was like it and that she dosent get how un tragic her life really is.
you really really need to stop saying things like "my brain does this thing" or "my brain can't do this" etc. It insinuates that you and your brain are entirely seperate. That kind of mentalily lets you believe that you have no control over your brain and how it functions, when in fact of course you have control, mental illness just makes it much harder. Try not to phrase things that way. Say "I do this thing" and "I can't do this". It'll make you question yourself "why not?". You'll seem more in control. Hope this helps.
not trying to be mean but why do you keep trying to do things like veda if you never finish them? why not set a more realistic goal especially if you know you'll be busy traveling. it'll be easier on you and more enjoyable for us bc as a viewer i was excited for veda but disappointed that you only got halfway through
im sorry u were disappointed! honestly i set it as a goal for myself just as a sort of structure to help me create again. I forgave myself that i missed some vids because i succeeded in what I really wanted to do - make stuff :)
You have no idea how comforting it is to know that I'm not the only one suffering from this shitty illness
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Eeeeeeee I love you hi
1 likeᴍ ᴀ ɢ ɢ ɪ ᴇ nice profile picture
0 likesIf you know and understand that your sadness comes from an imbalance of chemicals in your brain and you really want it to stop but you physically can't will it to, then you go onto anti-depressants to fixed the imbalance of chemicals. Anti-depressants often act as a temporary fix if you aren't mentally prepared to get better however if you are mentally prepared to fix yourself then often a 6 month course (that's all) can make you right as rain indefinitely. Ps the wonky side effects are incomparably small compared to depression.
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Maggie - How did you get your name like that? I am intrigued. :D
0 likesGoogled Copy and paste font generator, typed in Maggie like "M a g g I e" with a space between each letter, then clicked my desired font, "small caps".
1 liketHanK
1 likeCool beans. Never knew they supported that. Thx! :)
0 likessame:(
1 likeSpecial Kay I know it's great but terrible 😫🙄
0 likesSpecial Kay i know right
0 likesI agree with that as well, the only issue is idk if I actually am suffering from it or just have ridiculous mood swings. But i have notice that when I am surrounded with people who make me laugh especially I seem to be able to just focus on the moment in itself and not the other stuff. Those people are the ones who have their phones in their pocket instead of their face, and know how to socialize. I hope that all of you can find people like that in your lives as well.
2 likesSpecial Kay just know that no matter what you're alive and you may not be having the best day but there cannot be a rainbow without rain
5 likesS a m e.
0 likesIt suucckkksss. Hope you're doing okay, take care.
1 likeSpecial Kay
0 likess a m e
my private counsellor met me for the first time two days ago, and she told me something that really opened my eyes. she told me when you disassociate, it's your body's way of protecting itself. i have bad anxiety, and the body knows how painful and exhausting it is to constantly feel too much and in exchange coats everything in a gloopy numbing cream that makes everything blend into one. she said it was a coping mechanism, so before we can deal with the heaviness and unreality of living, you have to deal with the underlying emotion first. this is the only way i can picture feeling content the way i used to. x
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:) <333
129 likesdoddlevloggle i love youuu!!
28 likesYes, I can add weight to this. Treating and processing the underlying trauma is necessary to relieving the condition ultimately. You do have to be present enough to bring the pieces back together and process them though, so in a way its a bit of a catch22. Thats why medication & talk therapy together is recommended for DP/DR, even better if you go into therapy aware of what could have set it off. Best of luck and hope you can get into therapy too
5 likesReina Swift thank you so much! i’m currently on the right track to get the right therapist and it means a lot for you to respond. stay strong pal.
1 likeAny time, I know its a rough and isolating experience. How long have you been in DP now and are you finding it easier to deal with? I've been in 1 year & 2 months, I'm still waiting for talk therapy to coincide with my meds in case I get a window in which to process, did you go private? sorry for all the questions, stay strong too :)
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0 likesOn rewiring brains:
83 likesOn the 18th I am going to hospital in London for 3 weeks. I will be there for intensive physiotherapy and regular therapy. I currently have a disease that means my nerves tell me that I'm in excruciating pain, that everything I touch is hurting me. The plan is that they will 'rewire' my brain to understand that nothing is hurting me, that my body is safe. The pain that I feel is real, but it is also not. I don't know if it will work. It's called desensitization training - training my body to not feel the pain by introducing it to new textures, temperatures and exercises. It will hurt an awful lot, and it will not make me better, but I'll be able to deal with the pain. It will teach me to cope and to work through the burning feeling under my skin, to not scream like I want to, but to tell myself that it's NOT REAL.
Rewiring a brain is difficult. Whether it can ever fully happen is debatable. But, with help and a whole lotta hard work, you can at least learn to get through the problem and cone out the other side.
There is no cure for my disease. There is no cure for depression. But, whoever you are, if you have read all of this, if you are scared that you will never recover from whatever you may be facing, please know that if you have no cure, no exit to your hell: you must fight your way out. You must fight through any pain you find, because there may be no exit but you can learn to at least stick your head out of the window and let the outside in. Good luck.
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oh my GOD that sounds awful. good fucking luck! you can do it! your brain can do it!!!! <3
34 likesdoddlevloggle thank you so much! That actually means a lot. You've helped me through a lot of crap.
13 likesBut also, good fucking luck to you and your brain as well <3
good luck to you BOTH! <3
6 likeswhoever is reading this, know that you are loved, you are accepted, you are intelligent, you are worth it, and you are enough.❤
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Samantha Schucker this deserves to be at the top of the comments so everyone can see this!
1 likealso you can take from this too because I suppose seeing so many people reading and liking it is your way of spreading happiness which in turn makes you happy!
well no, i am not accepted, i have been excluded from everything since I was 5, and I am not loved. Everyone hates me.
0 likesMermaid Sea then let me get to know you. The only people I don't like not even hate is the right word because I still give them chances is my bullies. Yes not everybody may like you but give me a chance my best friend has gone through this before and it takes a while to get through but give me a social media or something to talk to you through so I can show you I care. To many people I loved have died and it took a toll on me and I realised I need to help other people so their family doesn't have to go through what I did. Give me a chance to help you and show you I care please just let me show you before you end up doing something you regret and then I regret not helping you
0 likesdodie plz read this
230 likeswe all love you
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Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr sir!
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0 likesI had a day where I was really jet lagged and frustrated and I felt so... displaced. And I felt really de-personalised!
32 likesThis was the very first, and hopefully last, time I've experienced it, and it was honestly terrifying.
I felt like there was a fog over my brain, like I had to shake my head and blink really hard to get it to go away, but it didn't until the next morning.
Now I understand how you feel a little more, and I feel even more empathy for you now. It made me feel so tense and ... weird, like I'd never be normal again. Just thought I'd share, luv u dodie💓💓
I wonder if it's because your brain was in R.E.M. And that's when your brain is calm and repairing itself, so like, it's a good thing that brain did that.
28 likesI'm working on feeling content in the present moment as well, and my doctor told me that one way to help feel that way is to start acknowledging random and sometimes subconscious things. When I can remember to that, it starts to help a little.
Like wow, that deep breath kinda made my chest collapse and my threat expand and that feels good. Or, wow the air feels cooler next to this tree and this fountain has that fountain smell that is always weirdly comforting because so many fountains smell like that.
When I think about it too much it gets overwhelming but eventually it started to kind of do it's own thing and yeah
Try it out.
Idk
Stay safe and sleep well while you're traveling 🌼🌻
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cute!
14 likesHi Dodie, I don't specifically suffer from depersonalisation, but I do deal with flatlined emotions (which is my form of depression) and anxiety. I've found that grounding myself in a moment and remembering a feeling helps. You don't have to remember the moment to try and recreate it, ground yourself in the moment so that your brain knows that being happy/joyful/excited is normal. The more you practice grounding yourself, the more normal it will become. I've suffered a lot of physical injuries, and my physiotherapist always asked me to think of my posture when I walked through a doorway. It seemed stupid to me, and it was hard to remember such a simple task, but now it's second nature and my body automatically adjusts. Sometimes our bodies (mental or physical) are stuck on autopilot but they're going to the wrong destination, so we have to take the wheel and steer it in the right direction before putting it on autopilot again.
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Brilliant!
0 likesRia Soames I think I've heard something similar to this...like when you're feeling sad or low or something you tend to look at the ground when you're walking about, the tip I heard is if you walk down the street look up and start counting chimneys or tv satellite dishes or similar. I do it from time to time (especially if I'm stressed or anxious) and even just for a little while it's a whole other perspective
1 likeDabblingEmmaDoc yes, that's a great tip! It's important to practice the little things, as hard as it is when you're depressed or dealing with depersonalisation or anxiety.
0 likesI had a dream that Dodes, me and one of my friends were together after going to her concert in the Button Factory where we ran around the streets of Dublin and danced with random buskers and made friends in the middle of the night and it was so natural and so freeing and it didn't matter that I got back to Uni and my scary mentor late the next day or that we didn't have phones and were worrying about us, it was just being, you know? Being alive and present and fulfilled.
16 likesI've always wanted to just go anywhere like that, where no one knows me and do what I want with no repercussions - sing on the street, run on the rooftops, laugh and cry and feel a hint of anxiety, that adrenaline, that makes everything more
real.
I AM HERE TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER DODIE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING EXCEPT BE YOU
23 likesthat harmony at 4:22 killed me
33 likesTHE HARRY POTTER QUOTE AT THE END IM SCREAMING- "be in my room making no noise and pretending I don't exist"
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YEsS!!! Happy #BackToHogwarts/nineteen years later!
0 likesCBT is great! Best of luck with it, it completely changed my life and has very much improved my way of thinking. Keep dreaming those content dreams 🍷
39 likesahh dodie I understand you so much. 15 and on anxiety meds. I hate the pain so fucking much, therapy helped, not as much as i wanted. I hope cbt helps you as it did with me. The weight may stay with you but i have found ways to lift it. I hope you can love yourself soon and keep sharing your story to help others xxxx
2 likesDodie I know you'll never see this, but you've helped me through so many things, you've helped me come to terms with my bisexuality in a homophobic household. With me in the closet and scared your videos make me feel safe and I can't thank you enough, dodie, thank you
18 likesi thought manager josh was drinking out of a ketchup bottle
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I thought the same thing! What is that, anyway?
1 likeNo but this just made me burst into laughter
0 likesomg leo!! i love your videos
0 likesme toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
0 likesMe too!
0 likesI just think you're awesome......as a 42 yr old woman who suffers from depression and anxiety I wish you could see that you have no need to feel the way you do and just grab every cool opportunity and don't worry about life and the crap that goes on because life goes quickly. I have so many regrets and I wish I'd been braver and if I knew what I know now I would have jumped right in there and gone for it without worry or fear.......its easy to say I know......I question everything still everyday but you're so talented and your thoughts are so special, so remember that. Go for it, chill out, enjoy the ride..... Xxx
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'enjoy the ride' well obviously at the moment she can't as she said she suffers from depersonalisation and feels depressed all the time and can't enjoy being in the moment.
0 likesMermaid Sea as in......life itself! Enjoy yours X
1 likecan't sorry have multiple mental illnesses xx
0 likesDodie if you do decide to run away from life and become a hippie feel free to stop in Canada and stay at my place for a while. Tbh I think most of ur subscribers wouldn't mind if you dropped by and took a night at there house lolol
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*their
1 likeDp/dr is honestly the shittiest thing going! If you've never suffered from it you can't honestly say you understand what it is! It's the most horrible feeling in the world! Not feeling like you're actually here; feeling like you're dreaming all the time; feeling drunk all the time; not being able to enjoy yourself; always feeling spaced out.
37 likesIt's shit
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It's certainly one of the shittiest things, yes. I've briefly experienced de-realisation a few times, so I have a small window into what it would be like to suffer it chronically. My own experience with Avoidant Personalty Disorder, Generalised and Social Anxiety, plus the depression that goes with all of that, is no picnic either.
0 likesI'm sorry you feel this way. I feel this way at times when I'm fed up with being alone, I want to go out in the world and have adventures every day, and making friends with people also. I'm sorry you still aren't feeling well. Maybe the dream you had when you were happy and pleasant maybe is trying to remind you that you can still feel that way. There must be a way! And I know you will get it!
67 likesI would recommend doing something opposite when you feel bad. Do something that makes you feel good. I feel like that would help. :)
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Sabrina Locke PREACH
0 likesAww I know how you feel. 😔"There's always a rainbow after rain." Hang in there Dodie, sending love your way.♥️
0 likesholy shit thanks for reminding me that fun. exists, i had completely forgotten how much i loved their songs
11 likesDODIE WE LOVE YOU YOU'RE AMAZING HOPE EVERYTHING GETS BETTER WE LOVE YOU💜
0 likesI love you Dodie and I really hope you will find your true happiness and continue writing incredible songs ❤
0 likesIt's so strange seeing her snapchats and that she's in America and then I watch her YouTube and she's not haha ❤
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Ukelele Unicorn I was JUST THINKING THAT
6 likesUkelele Unicorn what is her Snapchat???
0 likesJust Meh it's just doddleoddle
1 like"Wherever you go, there you are"
22 likesHi dodie! I just bought your new ep and I love it! Also that thing about imagining the best of the situation, I can relate.
0 likesim so glad that you're doing cbt!! id also recommend doing dbt bc I've found that it really helps with mindfulness and feeling present! best of luck to you and i rlly hope that things get better for you <3
0 likesI always feel the sudden Urge to hug Dodie when she talks about the fact she's struggling a bit. Keep strong, Gal x
0 likesI know it sounds stupid her but vids make me feel grounded ,safe and not alone thank you doddie ❤
4 likesDodie just brings up my mood so much, whenever I'm feeling down or like a 6/10 I just watch her videos or listen to her songs and it just makes me feel so happy about life xoxoxox
0 likesIf you find out how to rewire your brain, Plz spill because I'd much enjoy
155 likesReplies (5)
EstelleFoxy First, if you can, find a good therapist. If you are seeing one that you're not sure about, find a new one and only stick with them if you're sure that they are helping you. There are a lot of shitty therapists so you have to shop around but there are also a lot of really good ones. Make sure you tell your therapist what you want to work on and that you are on the same page. You also have to put the work in to see progress. Second, you have to be dedicated to getting better and putting in the work. Your not going to get anywhere if your half-assing things. I'm not going to lie to you, you're going to have to work your butt off and it's going to be hard. But it is doable and it is worth it.
11 likesI wish you the best! 💗
DisconcertedRavenclaw thanks lots
0 likesTo add to this, you also have to practice. You have to literally forge a new path in your mind and so you just have to learn how to think helpfully (which is where a therapist comes in handy) and then just constantly practice this until it eventually becomes second nature
6 likesI've heard hypnotism has help some people
1 likeI've tried therapy, meds and even been hooked up to actual wires designed to reward your brain for therapeutic brain waves but nothing seems to help I am constantly be wrung out by my anxiety and I feel there is no help
2 likesI love your videos it makes me realised that the strange overwhelming feelings I have are not unique.💙
0 likesDodie is such an inspiration to me. One of the reasons she is, is because how open she is ❤
97 likesI had a friend that suffers from anxiety, and the things that you go through. I didn't know how to help her but I wanted to so much so I told her to watch your videos. That was about 2 months ago. She has got so much more confident since she started watching your videos and you're the reason that we are so confident to be ourselves. We love you so much Dodie!!! ❤❤❤
2 likesCBT was so amazing for me, it brought me a drop of clarity every now and again. And that's revolutionary
0 likesI get weirdly INFINITELY excited when Dodie makes a video like I'm seeing my twin for the first time in 72 years
0 likesI love this. You are so brave for sharing these things with us. Thank you. We love you 💕
1 likeLove you, Dodie. I'm going to see you at the meet and greet at VidCon. I just want to give you a giant hug and tell you and your brain that it will all be okay. 💖💖💖
0 likesCan't wait to see you on tour Dodie 🌟
2 likesI love when you make videos like this because it is so comforting. I spend lots of time rewatching the same handful of your videos because they make me feel so much better. Just knowing that someone exists in the same emotion as I find myself in makes me feel like I'm drinking a warm cup of tea. Your videos feel like home. I love you and your authenticity so much.
0 likesWhen I am tried of carrying around this weight of mental health, I usually listen to music, completely listening to every word. And for every song I think either of a really nice happy event in the past or the things that I wanna experience someday
0 likesI'm proud of you dodie!!!! you're wonderful. never stop being you and never stop taking care of you!!! you deserve the world <333
0 likesWatching your videos always makes me feel better. I'm always so stressed and I panic a lot. I guess I just over think things. I don't know. But thank you ❤
0 likesI'm feeling extremely depressed currently and seeing you upload today is very relieving bc you always give me such a calm feeling when I watch you. So thank you dodie <333
0 likesWatching this made my heart swell with so much love for you
0 likesi don't know the drill or that bullshit. i know dODIE
286 likesi love you a lot dodie, you're my idol. ((; <3
Replies (1)
lmao please don't hate me
20 likesdodie singing along to some nights literally made my day when are we getting a cover
2 likesThis is incredibly relatable. But you are so amazing Dodie! My favourite quote to feel a little less crap is "Everyone wants happiness nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain" 😊😚🌈🌈
0 likesI've missed you and your videos! Keep on keeping on! You can do it ❤️
1 likeI always find myself with a cosy and content smile when I watch your videos. Which helps tremendously when I'm anxious, down or depersonalized. So thank you for that Dodie! :)
0 likesfirst of all, love that there's a new dodie video! i've been having dodie withdrawals and it's been very hard to deal with. second of all, i've had similar thoughts about the "moments i've been dreaming of" i always imagine myself in these situations where i find myself and the reason why i feel this way. i have some sort of depression (i haven't been OFFICIALLY diagnosed so i don't really say that i have depression or anything) i try to find ways to "fix" my mental health, but i always find a way to revert back into the mental state that i've been trying to avoid. i've passed through my fair share of friend groups, trying to find the perfect people to make me the best me i can possibly be(oh hey that rhymed) and also trying to be more open about my feelings and such. i've always felt that my feelings were much less important than others' i don't do it on purpose, but i can usually catch myself when i'm trying to help another person instead of myself. a friend of mine feels the same way, and sometimes he says things about it, and somehow i end up feeling like i shouldn't feel the same way, and the person doesn't want sympathy, because i don't want sympathy AH this is making no sense!!!!! i'm so sorry! i seriously have been trying to get into a better mental state, but i don't feel like it's bad enough that i should ask for help...... idk i guess i'm just trying to put my thoughts out there and tbh it kinda feels nice to know that i've said something even if it literally makes no sense to anyone but me. okay well bye
0 likesU touch the strings of my heart with every moment u describe in a video like this... Hope u Have a gud trip! 💪🏽
0 likesDodie we all love you so much! Please,if you need a break,take one. You are so so strong and we're all so proud of you!! Love you Dodie!❤️
0 likesI love when you talk about mental health, makes me feel a bit more.. i don't know grounded? you voice and thoughts are just so peaceful and make my head feel less chaotically full. :-)
0 likesYOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I MISSED YOUR VIDEOS OH GOD 💓
599 likesReplies (9)
+Ewa omg sameee i was complaining to my friends about how much i wanted dodie to upload lol. but im glad she took a break.
3 likesDAN SMITH IN YOUR PROFILE PICTURE >>>
3 likesyaas finally someone noticed it 😁
2 likesI love your profile picture 😂
0 likesJu lia przepraszam za stalkowanie konta ale jeju ktoś z polski pod filmikiem dodie + supernatural 💓
0 likesOojaa ale super 😄
1 likeEwa ooooo same
4 likesEwa
2 likesEwa same :)
0 likesI hope you find the tools to get pass this illness and start fully experiencing things. You deserve a life full of love and good things Dodie, ily 💛💛💛
1 likeI know how it feels to be depressed and anxious, I have severe depression and moderate anxiety. I hope you have an outlet, through writing, singing (of course), anything. Just, you can get though this. We believe in you ♡
0 likes@doddlevloggle I completely understand everything and empathize to the fullest extent. I am currently dealing with depression and depersonalization. All I want to say is thank you. Your videos have given me someone to relate with. Keep on going and know that everyone that is going through the same thing and everyone not it caring.
0 likesi went through cbt with camhs, it really helped me! gettin discharged therapy in 2 months! hope all goes well for you dodie bby x
0 likesI think you'll definitely find a way to love each moment in the future, Dodie! It just takes time, unfortunately..
0 likesI find it helps on nice days with some clouds, just to lay down somewhere and just watch the clouds go by, not forcing yourself to feel anything or think anything. Just relaxing without pressure and letting your worries float away
0 likesI'm so glad you're back dodie! I missed ya ♥
0 likesI might be going to Buffer fest and I hope sm that I can meet u ilysm! I cover your songs and try to learn them in my uke. You are really such an inspiration to me. Ever since u discovered you and your music I've felt a lot better about myself and my anxiety. Dodie, you are so so so sososo amazing.
0 likesOmg, I start CBT this month too, in a few days actually. I'm pretty sceptical and very nervous about it, but I've done all sorts of other stuff so I figured I give it go! Just remember that these bad feelings never last forever. Even if the bad times seem to outweigh the good in time or in feeling, they never last forever, so don't let it dictate your life! You're amazing and I hope it works for you, Dodie! X
0 likesI did CBT and although it was stressful at first it helped me through a lot of issues with my mind. It helped me also come through so much. I hope it helps you. :) <3
0 likesGood luck with your cbt! I had cbt for my anxiety and trust me, it works! Just remember that you're beautiful, strong and nothing can stop you from feeling content again!
0 likesyou are so precious dodie, hang in there. you r giving me a lot of strength and perspective on my own mental struggles so thank
0 likesyou
Missed you so much and Im hoping you'd feel better soon! well wishes <3
0 likesI completely understand what you're going through. I have depression too. Just know that you are never alone through this. 💗
0 likesHey, I hope you are okay again soon. As someone who has suffered from feelings exactly like the ones you are describing I can say that exercise really helps me. Good luck and enjoy your busy September.
0 likesHi dodie, I have suffered with depression and depersonalization on and off for about five years now, and the thing that has helped me the most was learning mindfulness and meditation, with therapy and medication being second and third most helpful. Whenever I start to feel like I'm spiraling out o control of the way my brain is working, I try to sit down and be aware of those thoughts and challenge them. I don't indulge in the feeling, but I step away from it and look at it directly. It is then that I am able to really ground myself in the present and find joy in being alive. When I was first told to do this by my therapist, I felt as though my feelings were being invalidated, but the truth is, we really do have some control in how we feel, and what thoughts we choose to indulge in. We can't control what intrusive ideas pop into our heads, but we can choose not to dwell on them, and fight to make ourselves present and focus on the positive, with the help of therapy, medication, a good support network, and most of all, our own self discipline. I'm so glad you got on the waitlist for CBT, and I really hope it will help you feel the best you can feel. You're a wonderful human being and you don't deserve anything less than good health 💙
2 likesI want you to know how much you are helping me, your videos, your music, I'm going through a really hard time, and I'm struggling really Badley but listening to you music helps keeps my mind of it for a while💕 I love you so much!!
0 likesI hope you get to try CBT and that it goes well! good luck with anything you're gonna do love you❤❤
0 likesI hope you feel content soon Dods. You're an inspiration to us all, even though you feel down you still manage to post videos that brighten your viewers day. I just wish we could do the same for you... I've adored you since I found your channel and I'll continue adore you always. You have helped me through a lot of sh1t these past few years and I'll forever be grateful. Thank you for everything. AHHH HARRY POTTER REFRENCE AT THE END!! sorry...not sorry. Love yah! xxxxx
0 likesI just want to say that I started to watch you today and you've charmed me! Idk what you have inside you but it's pretty fucking cool. Thank's bye! <3
0 likesI love you Dodie 😍 xx
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Blackpink Jisoo nice profile picture:)
1 likeI've been going through a stage of depression recently and just repeat these words over and over and it actually begins to work! : "I am happy right now"
0 likesI've been learning more about my depersonalization and watching your videos is so comforting. I weirdly relate to the dream part. I'm going through the process of coming out/ being pulled away from my gf and last night I had a dream that I was dancing with her. It felt so real and I felt present and not numb for the first time in so long... I guess I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. And that what you're doing matters. So much. And that what you're doing helps. Thank you.
0 likesI sincerely hope you have time for CBT because it will really help you! And if it doesn't, there is always another orientation to be tried. Not every therapy is beneficial to everyone, and I hope you find the best fit ❤️
0 likesthank you so much for making videos, it is so soothing for me. it's also encouraging me to start recording myself speaking about anything really. doubt ill ever upload it but it's therapeutic so thank you so much ♥
0 likesDodie is the most relatable and beautiful human ever
372 likesReplies (3)
i fooking uhgree
12 likesI know I love her!
0 likes+Josie's Film Chats I love her tooooo
0 likesTHAT SONG BRING SO MANY MEMORIES FOR ME OHMYGOSH also dodie, I know you know this but I'm gonna say this anyway, you don't always need to be happy while traveling, I know that more often that not it feels that way but I promise you, it's not true. Take your time, I love you. So many people love you. You're beautiful and magical and things are going to be just fine💛
0 likesI love how Josh laughed at the question and then genuinely answered it
0 likesDodie sending you love, lots and lots of love <3
0 likesMy heart dropped when you said you were in D.C. I live in this wonderful crazy melting pot but never thought I'd have the chance to just talk to you like a dork and enthuse over the serendipity of life. I think everyone can relate to the feeling of just crying over the awesomeness of you and making us realise the absolute lovely beauty in everyone else. Playlist Live DC is all sold out but I am going to take my bike down to the hotel and listen to your mind-blowing music and cry and shout at the wind and freak out that I am breathing the same air as you and thank you a million times for writing songs that touch the very core of our souls. I didn't mean for this to be a story but damn it, I have been bitten by the writing bug. I hope wherever you are tonight and for all nights to come, you are surrounded by laughter, good mates, soft music, and that enigmatic little thing I like to call Hiraeth. I am going to learn to play in the middle with my High School Band because it encouraged me to tell the world that I am Bisexual and a struggling human with emotions and thoughts and feelings. I smile and yet I hurt. I wish you a sweet cup of tea, cozy socks, aromatherapy candles, and a snuggle. Thank you Dodie so incredibly much.
0 likesyou seriously are my favorite human. you inspired me to start a channel and just keep going when I feel like I can't anymore. I love you, Dodes. If you ever need to talk then message me :)
0 likesI love what you've done with your nails Dodie! 😄
0 likesSOOOO relatable thank you dodie for talking about this. been following your journey with music and mental health and life for a while and as a sufferer of dp/dr it is very validating to hear you talk about all of this. thanks so much and hope you're well!
0 likesOne thing that really helped me learn to carry my depression without struggling was hypnotherapy. I know it sounds odd and it is entirely dependent on dealing with past trauma but it really really helped me with confidence and learning to live and cope with it. It still gets to me, but for the most part I can actually get by now.
0 likesI've done EMDR in combination with CBT and found it super super helpful and the results speedier than other forms of therapy that I've done <3
0 likesthe way you explain things hits so close to my heart. I just started university, and I was counting on it to fix me, but I still just feel distant and hazy. I'm trying to be content in the present moment, but it feels nearly impossible. thank you for this.
0 likesI hope that we make you happy and feel special because every time I watch your videos you make me fell safe and loved and special. The rough patches in life won't matter when you find your serenity and if that comes sooner or later, you will find it. I love soon much xx
0 likesDodie I feel the same way. In my dreams I feel alive and present but when I wake up my brain switches to 'protection mode' which manifests itself as depersonalisation.
0 likesLove you so much Dodie xox
7 likesYou should be so proud of how you keep going, even when you're not doing well mentally. You really are an inspiration to so many of your fans
0 likesI really understand what you mean by 'plodding along.' I get that so much when i'm at school and i'm doing the same old shit over and over. Anxiety doesn't help either. I'm a dancer so I dance alone to express my feelings and let all the crap out of my brain. Having a good cry every once in a while helps as well. I also just wire myself to my iTunes and let go to all the lyrics. It's hard to live life when you're stuck in a specific state of mind but I guarantee you that it's possible to handle and overcome. It all comes with experience! I love you so much and wish to meet you one day! xxx
1 likeI just love you so so much, you're an angle dodie♡
0 likesHappy to know that Dodie feels the same. I'm setting my mind on what I'm doing after high school. After high school, I'm taking a gap year to decide if I really want to do college. But also in that time, I'm moving to London with my best friend and starting a YouTube channel. My best friend and I want a new start, and moving to London will be the beginning of it. Right now I have my ass sat in Oregon, and I'm not happy. I want something more, I don't know what, I just want something more. I know people say to live in the moment, but thats not what I want to do. I want to living in my future. The one I'm building.
0 likesI always have the urge to change my name and move away so I get you Dodie, I hope you feel better and that you can feel as content as you were in your dream!
0 likesI can really relate to the daydreams of leaving behind everything you know. The only advice I can give you is what worked for me. Through meditation I learned how to stop craving and start accepting. It also makes you more mindful of the things you do and enjoy them more, which helps with the accepting. I'm probably not the first one to recommend you this, but I just wanted to say that it helps in the long run.
0 likesThis makes me so sad! Like dodie, the most amazing person in the world has so much depression. If I could Bear all the depression and pain for her I would in an instant. That's how much this girl I have never met means to me. I love you dodie.
1 likeDodie. My heart breaks seeing you in your mental state and seeing the discontentment that comes hand in hand with your depersonalisation. I'm not here to tell you a story and I know that this small jumble of letters constructed on a computer screen may be hidden in the abyss of comforting messages but what I want you to know is this. In the galaxy there is a tiny solar system that is home to 8 planets and only one (that we know of) holds life and that life is more commonly known as the human race. Our race isn't exactly perfect, there is discrimination and war and conflict and more tragically, there is sadness. Sadness comes in many forms such as grief and heart break, depression and anxiety and the feeling when you are in one place but your brain is off somewhere else. However, amidst the sorrow and sadness comes hope and life and love. These three things can be found in everything you just know where to look and I'm sorry dodie my darling but you might have lost your glasses. The glasses that help you to ground yourself with your body and the glasses that once they are on you can see the worlds beauty without having to look and squint your eyes because as we all know squinting hurts after a while and you don't deserve to be in pain dodie. I've been watching you for 3 and a half years and watching you battle depression and depersonalisation shows me that life isn't always perfect but we should never pretend it is. We should strive to find the glasses that show us that being ourself is what makes this small planet amazing. So dodie, wherever you go, whether a shop or a park, look around and find 5 things that are beautiful about your surroundings and hopefully you will feel very slightly more in your body and well practice makes perfect so do it everywhere and I mean everywhere.. your bathroom or even under a grimey old underpass but just remember dodie that we (your followers/friends) are honestly here to guide you and help you through anything. I love you ❤️
3 likesHonestly, without trying to sound too cheesy, seeing you go through all of this, and have time to document it and edit it to viewable level, is so inspirational for someone who does suffer with mental health issues and is trying to make it through and make it. Starting 2nd year of uni in 2 weeks and I'm nervous because 1st year was a bit shit but seeing you achieve all of this, despite your dpd stuff just makes me feel like I can tackle anything. That I can beat this thing trying to takeover my brain, but even if I can't, I can still make #art and do what I love. Thank you :) <3
0 likesYou're a truly wonderful person dodie. As soon as I discovered your videos and music you started to help me so much, when I never even knew I needed it. What you do and the way you have such a strong impact on others is really beautiful. Best of luck for everything and I hope it helps to know that you have lots of people (plus me) with you to support you every step of the way! :)
0 likesHonestly when you talk like this it makes me hopeful to know I am not the only one suffering so thank you Xxx I hope things get better soon :)
0 likesdid you actually make a harry potter reference at the end because i'm already on the verge of tears from 19 years later and OF COURSE YOU DID
3 likesDodie, you inspire me so much :) you're one of The reasons I still post my music on youtube even if I stay a small youtuber forever! Love you! You are The best ❤️
8 likesDodie! I'm sorry you feel like this, and honestly i can relate to the feeling of wanting to be content in the moment, but never getting there.
0 likesThe only thing i feel like actually helps me is to just try and accept whatever i'm feeling - if it's sad or anxious or whatever, all i feel like i can do is just try to acknowledge the feeling and feel whatever's there and try not to label anything as 'bad' or 'good'. Feelings don't go away if you think about them more or try to push them down so i've been working to just try to let my brain feel what it needs to. It's frustrating and really easy to think that sadness or depression will never go away, but that's just not true. Emotions are never permanent and one day you'll feel okay again.
(Sorry if this was really crap advice bc it probs was but i hope it helped a tiny bit 😌❤️❤️❤️)
Looking forward to seeing you in Australia! Hope you're doing alright with all this travelling around, it means a lot that you're coming all the way out to Melbourne for VidConAus!
0 likesi love you, i relate to you and im proud of how far you've come
0 likesyou are such a wonderful human dodie :) i hope you have a lovely day , brains suck at times but you also have an incredible brain i mean look at all the songs and poems you created x
0 likesI feel the same thing from time to time.But it is in real life.I feel soo happy and like all my problems will go away,and I will feel like I felt once.Then something comes and tears me down. It is hard.But,lots of love to you Dodie,keep doing what you're doing ❤❤
0 likesThe last thing that made me happy was when you liked my tweet earlier.
0 likesI died
I screamed for an hour
Thank you. That was the first time i have smiled genuinly in a while.
I'm currently reading "Uncovering Happiness" by Dr Elisha Goldstein. I would highly recommend this to anyone wanting to both educate themselves on why you feel like a shite, but also how to not feel AS shite. Vvv good stuff. Love you Dodie 💕
0 likesI started CBT a little while ago and its literally rewiring therapy! They explore your core thoughts (its horrible and terrifying BUT it helps in the long run). You dont get better in a few months, unfortunately, but i do hope that in a year or two im better. I hope.
0 likesI just think it's so sad to see a friend be so lonely & unhappy. I'm so grateful that I can say I truly don't understand what it's like as I've never had any serious mental health problems. But my heart aches for the people like dodie who constantly hurt. Here's to the hearts that ache, here's to the mess we make ✨✨✨
0 likesThose contempt moments will start to become the norm!! Your meds plus CBT will help you a tremendous amount I'm so excited for you! Just remember that it's still a long process but you notice yourself having those contempt moments (not ecstatic/manic) more and more and start to feel comfortable with being happy.
0 likesThis video helped so much, thank you ❤️
0 likesRight now I'm genuinely so so sooo happy and I wish for nothing more than for everyone to feel the same. Take it from someone who's been at the bottom of whatever dark hole depression is. There will be a time where things change for the better and it will quite literally ' all make sense again'
0 likesAll the love and happiness i have to everyone needing it : )
Hey dodie, I know you’re very busy but just the chance of you seeing this compels me to write. I just want you to know that there’s a whole community here to talk to and we all support you in any endeavor you choose to pursue (even if you want to quit YouTube and come to America). I hope you find yourself content in everything you do. I love you :)
0 likesthe last bit made me smile :) (i also noticed your reaction to the drink- welcome to america, dodie. we overload everything with sugar and other "healthy things")
0 likesYou and Josh singing along to Fun at the end made me happy 😊
0 likesWhen I'm not feeling content in the present moment and trying to, I usually go to watch your videos, dodie. Particularly, your ASMR one where I can just take a break and breath for two minutes. So, my advice to you dodie, would be to find your own dodie (lol) who helps mellow your soul... even just for a little while. :) xx
0 likesYour music and creativity is the medication for your depression
0 likesI have gone my whole life feeling a way i couldn't pin point. And after bingeing alot of your videos. I now have a name, i dont like to self diagnose, but at the very least its something to research more. Thank you for sharing, and creating. If you ever need a friend, ill be there. (sorry if thats weird)
0 likesmy favorite cb therapist i've ever had moved away last year and i miss her everyday. she always recommended TEDtalks and vlogbrothers videos to me and she was just generally so fantastic with me and my brain. i hope you have the same experience ((or something similar bc i very much hope your doctor doesn't move offices)) ANYWAYS i love you so much xoxo
0 likesCBT! Yaas! Yeah it is basically brain rewiring 😆 Go you Dodie! I hope it works out for you 💛
0 likesBoth me and my partner did it on the NHS and we've had v different experiences of it but it's literally been life changing.
My partner didn't get on with their first therapist and found the level of work too upsetting, but asked to change to a different one and got on much better and found some simpler techniques a lot more helpful.
I actually took well to the really structured and rigorous CBT methods and my therapist was pushing me as hard as she could. I think one time I told her it was too much and she did back off a bit and go a bit easier on me (there seems a bit of pressure to try to fit in as much therapy as they can). I still have to work at it, but it's really helped me - already even tho only 2 ppl know I've been doing it lots of folks have noticed I've been a lot calmer and less stressed.
But yeah, to anyone who does it: if it's not working out, please do try to tell them and ask to see a different therapist if you want (you're not there to please them, it's all about your needs not theirs!)
I'm glad you're working on feeling content in the present moment and i'm very confident that you will be. I've been working on that too, as I've been feeling a bit odd lately but I think it's because I have a lot going on before school next week and some friend stuff is bothering me a lot so I don't really know if I'm content in the present moment at this point in time but I know I'll get there, because one day, I won't have these worries and this stress. I'm really trying to focus on having a good time with my family and my friends and having those moments that I know I'll remember for the rest of my life. I really am, and I'm so happy you are too.
0 likesGreat video Dodie! You are so talented and really pretty.
0 likesI know you have not been feeling great but the fact that you are pushing on and accomplishing so much despite that is very inspiring. You make it so I feel like keeping on and not being defined by my mental state.
0 likesFor me, Escitalopram changed my entire life. And a lot of people I love have had a similar experience with it or with the other type which its Citalopram. I think there is no shame going and getting medication for your illness. Antidepressants work, and although it can be hard to find the one that is best for you, don't give up. I swear to you, it will get better.
0 likesi really really hope CBT works as well for you as it has for me. love you.
0 likesTip for CBT: you really have to practise it. It's not going to work if you don't put in the work. And it will be hard but you will be able to do it. I believe in you, Dodie. Love you 💗
1 likei'm actually so grateful to have you on this planet
0 likesi didnt get my dream role in a musical that i wanted so badly, and ive cried every day for nearly two weeks. i love when you talk about the realer, sad side of your brain because it makes me feel not alone and less ridiculous when i have bad brain days.
0 likesI just replayed 4:22 her harmony to "still wake up" UUGGHH there are tears in my eyes😍😍
0 likesI love the lighting in this video. It's not like super bright and white like a lot of people have but it's soft and gentle and comforting and a contenting coulor
0 likesI missed her... glad dodie is back :)
0 likesWhenever I'm really depressed I like to "escape" by just climbing out a window and walking as far as I need to until I feel better:)
0 likesIn bio class sneaking this vid because it's Dodie
63 likesReplies (2)
Yup always gotta sneak this song in
4 likes*video
6 likesKill me (._.)
Happy thoughts is the perfect way to explain it. You can't get over it, obviously, but all you have to do is hope. Run away for a while. We all need to do that. See your fans and your friends, we all are with you and you can be content in the present. You help other people like me, so I want to help you.
0 likesThank you Dodie xxx
I relate sooo much. I'm always thinking up ways I'll "fix" myself and especially the one about running away. I've always wanted to move to some other country, but now I'm starting to think it's just another thing I think will make me happy and content. Sending my love and support to anyone out there who might need it<3
0 likesive been on the NHS waiting list for CBT since april and they told me I'd get an appointment in september and im so glad that september is here !!!! good luck with ur CBT dodie
0 likesI have social anxiety and I get depersonalized when my anxiety attacks get really bad, it mostly happens during school ( being around people all day and trying to calm myself down all the time is mentally exhausting)
0 likesHope you feel better dodie (love you!)
The part about traveing never being as good as you want it to, reminded me of a School of Life video: "The problem with traveling". I think they sum it up pretty nicely, you should watch it :) and take care of yourself on all these travels and tours<3
0 likesIf it makes you feel any better, for the past couple days I've been listening to your awesome "You" album almost nonstop because it's amazing
0 likesFor this whole video I was like, I relate. I relate so painfully hard. 💔 I'm so sorry to anyone else who does.
0 likes"Some nights I wish that this all would end, cause I could use some friends for a change." was the last line in this video and I find that ironically fitting. :)
0 likesAnyways, I hope you have a good time in DC, despite not knowing anyone!
Same feelings Dodie,I know how it feels,<3
0 likesI feel a lot of this. I went through a period during my sophomore year of uni where I decided to cut negative people out of my life, and through that decided that I would give up social media. So, I cut out facebook and instagram and snapchat, and I think that I thought doing these things would make me more productive, which I suppose it sort of did, but I also felt like I gave up a lot of my creativity with it. I don't think I lived more in the moment, I think I just documented less of it. What I will say though, is though I returned to instagram, I never returned to facebook and snapchat. I think I face a lot of fomo and it really helps with that since I'm not constantly bombarded with what all my friends are doing all the time. I don't know. It's different for everyone, but I think its a good experiment, depriving yourself of social media. Certainly you find out the friends you really talk to and who you don't...
0 likesHope your mental health gets better ! I can totally relate to what you're trying to say ❤️
0 likesI'm so glad you're going to be having CBT. It is so worth it! It's not easy though (you're literally rewiring your brain to think in totally new ways) but I know you've got the strength to do it. I'm about to hit the halfway mark for my CBT sessions. The homework tasks aren't easy either but if they're easy they're not worth it. I felt sick and hella anxious when my therapist set one of my tasks. It was unpleasant but that reaction meant I was stepping out of my comfort zone into new territory and new ways of being and when I manage it, I felt chuffing great!
0 likesI too feel like running away sometimes. More recently I've just wanted to sell, throw or give away all of my possessions, my clothes too, and just start again. Every time I try to do it though, I think "oh, this might be useful one day" or "I spent money on that so I can't get rid of it" or "this is horrible/useless/ugly/makes me feel crap but it was a present so I have to keep it". Or the task is too daunting (I've accumulate a lot of crap over the years!) but I guess it's about fulfilling that desire in a controlled way. You're doing it by travelling. You can do it every day in small ways too by reading books or watching films and getting lost in them or by having a tech holiday where you switch off everything (just make sure people know about it and where you are).
To satisfy my need to get rid of EVERYTHING, I got a friend round to help me be a bit more ruthless with the stuff I've justified keeping and to sort my other stuff into more manageable sections that'll be easier to sift through.
This is way longer than I intended, soz! But I hope there's someone out there who benefited a little from reading it :)
this is not related to this video at all, but dodie! i need the uke chords for in the middle.
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namjoon's rarely seen abs same you can probably look it up theres probably a YouTube tutorial
1 likeMusic Madness aah thank you sm!!
1 likeno problem ;)
0 likesnamjoon's rarely seen abs armyy ❤️
2 likesnamjoon's rarely seen abs and i need the chords for her "death of a bachelor" cover
0 likesAninja HEY the chords for death of the bachelor are on ultimate guitar (just look up "death of a bachelor chords") but if you can't find it then it's Dm G C for the verses, F Fm C Am D Dm G for the pre chorus, and then Am D F C for the chorus. :D
1 likeemo meme ayee, right here
0 likesur username is NiCe👌🌚
0 likesJaylaBean but that's not how dodie plays it! she has much more major7 and stuff like that in it :\
0 likesOh right. Sorry. I do play the keyboard lots but I'm almost entirely self taught other than my dad teaching me a bit and I'm also only 12 XD Lots of the time I look stuff up on YouTube, if you search "death of a bachelor piano" you should be able to find a video of just a piano and like the colours and stuff falling and all that and I'm sure you could go off of that, while adding little bits and bobs yourself. I'm pretty sure that when Brendon Urie himself plays it on the piano, he uses a bunch of major7 and that kinda stuff too.
1 likeAninja I think I've got it down 80% accurately. Will upload midi later because I'm too lazy to figure out what chords I play.
0 likeshttps://www.ukulele-tabs.com/es/tablaturas/dodie-clark/in-the-middle-uke-tab-54244.html
4 likesnamjoon's rarely seen abs should be G, Bb, F, Eb throughout most of the song on a tenor uke
1 likearmy❤️
2 likesnamjoon's rarely seen abs on soprano uke it’s (verse) g bb f eb f (chorus) g f g f c eb f
0 likesyour videos always make me feel so much better. thank you.
0 likesWe all love you very much Dodie <3
0 likesUghhhh, I can't get over the fact that ur use of language is so beautiful and sophisticated no matter what the circumstance 😍😍
0 likesI'm always a different person in my dreams, usually a boy which is weird. Also, CBT is really useful x
0 likesNgl I quickly glanced at the screen when Josh was drinking and I thought it was a ketchup bottle omg
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Ah, not just me then.
12 likesMelthatfangirl Same
0 likesa way to live more in the moment is to focus on what you're doing (it works, just slowly, you get used to doing it more) it helps to focus on what's touching you, what you smell, what the weather feels like on your skin, what your toes feel like, basically checking in on all senses. i started doing this more last year and i've been able to live more in the moment so much and i highly suggest it's something you also do!!
0 likesI cant i just cant watch your stuff anymore its too gloomy i'm sorry. I love you and i'll still support your music because you're truly talented with every sense of the word. Many of your fans can relate to you right now because they share your journey, but i do not i'm still far behind and its a lot for me to handle. Love you babe
0 likesU are so perfect we missed you dodie 😘
0 likesDodie (and anyone else who might find this helpful), I've found meditation to be a great way at least to start to rewire your brain. Its almost like changing your entire thought process, which is difficult but with practice it gets easier and helps a bunch. Maybe try out little affirmations everyday, they seem stupid but they really do help after a while, by changing your thoughts you change your mental makeup.
0 likesI cannot stress this enough for anyone reading, and I mean this truly after many years of lost wondering and non-beliefs. Find a faith, not necessary a God, or an almighty being (and most definitely not money or the gov). But find a faith in something you can practice and that gives you purpose, whether it be a philosophy, spirituality or a religion, heck have faith in yourself and dedicate your "worshipping time" to self care. Regardless, find something that pushes you to further yourself and is something you can find calm in. This is the single best thing I have found to help with my mental health, I'm not saying it'll solve everything straight away, but it's helped me incredibly.
I'm going to my first pride tomorrow.🌈🌈🌈
6 likesFor anyone in the comments struggling with mental illness, I find Noah Elkrief's videos incredibly helpful. He aims to rewire the way you confront your thoughts and that, paired with therapy, have given me more hope than I have had in years. Just remember that you are worth the time and effort and that there are so many people who care about you deeply. I know that's easier said than done, but I wish all you beautiful people the best!
0 likesLove you, Dodie ❤️
0 likesThe Harry Potter reference at the end killed me ❤ especially cuz September first and stuff... Happy 19 years later everyone!!!! Also, I really hope and believe that one day you'll reach that point of feeling contempt in the moment again and quitting worrying about unnecessary stuff, you're so strong and I believe that you can do it. Also I'm hating my life cuz you're gonna go to Australia and I just left... Oh well, have fun in the best country in the world anyway!!
2 likesFantastic thing to come back to after a run. I would love to go mountain climbing but i cant as i always see the negative side of things
0 likesThat Harry Potter ref at the end tho....😄😄😄
3 likesHope you're feeling well Dodie! Love you!
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Gale Thunder wait WOAH what Harrt Potter reference did she make?
0 likesJas
0 likesThere's a writing in the end and she says
I'll "probably" be in my room making no noise and pretending I don't exist
Do you ever feel like how things used to be used to be when you were younger and not necessarily happier but hopeful and in a way more carefree? I dunno I feel a lot of the same things as you mentioned in this video and what strikes me most is just the overwhelming lack of hope I have now (as a recently turned 22 yo).
0 likesDo you meditate, I think especially once you do it for a while it really actually works to ground you. I never got the concept of meditating because I didn't know how to shut my brain up but there are things you can listen to, so you can focus on one thing, such as breathing, to ground you.
0 likesLove you Dodie, I hope everything gets better❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I was on CBT through the NHS for about a year and a half and it really worked for me. As you were saying, you really do feel lighter. As long as you put as much effort as you possibly can into it, im sure it'll work for you too. Good luck
0 likesI wish i could talk about my feelings like you do
0 likesdodie making a Harry Potter reference on Epilogue Day makes my life
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"be in my room makingnonoiseandpretendingidon't exist" #19YearsLater
1 likeDodie: I have issues with depersonalization, depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc, and the one thing that has really worked for me, helped my depersonalization, and helped me "rewire my brain" is EMDR. It's a therapy that really helps you shift the things in your brain so they don't affect you so much
0 likesHey Dodie,
0 likesI suffer from SAD-type depression and one thing that has made a MASSIVE difference to me has been going to the gym/ cycling more and trying to eat healthy (for me, that has been avoiding sugar and dairy haha). It's incredible how much getting fitter has improved my mood and I would really recommend it!
I was in a restaurant the other day and 6/10 came on and I just felt really proud I guess😂, yay for Dodie!!
0 likesEnjoy traveling and conventions and everything :)
0 likesThere is CBT online (which in my opinion can work out better sometimes than NHS) and there are book and audiobooks, which ever you prefer or feel up to in the moment :)
Things get better :) they also get worse, but... look at the sunset :D it's always beautiful and it is an end of something.
5:00 omg I thought he was drinking ketchup 😂😂
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... or hot sauce ....
1 likeDodie, thank you, thank you for this video, ily.
0 likestake some time to find yourself <3 do what makes you feel good. dont feel obligated to make music or make videos your mental health is more important. just take as long as you need <3 (and eat some donuts :))
0 likesI wish I was at playlist! have a good time and make some fun memories! the best thing to do for rewiring your brain is to just wake up everyday and push that feeling out, it's harder than it sounds. I suffered with anxiety and still do but I just reminded myself that I needed to keep busy.
0 likesWhat really helps is just keeping your brain occupied and making sure to not let your mind wander. I'm only 13 but I hope this helps! I haven't had much experience but to anyone who is reading, have a lovely day! x
I needed this so much. I'm 16 years old and just I had my second mental breakdown in a week. I drove to school today, but I was just bawling and freaking out about the thought of having to face another day of school Our school counselor had to call my Dad to take me home and I'm not allowed to drive anymore.
0 likesI've been seeing a psychiatrist since May and I just had my third appointment with a therapist. I've been told by my psychiatrist that I show strong signs of major depressive disorder (MDD) and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), although she hasn't definitively diagnosed me (bc usually a psychologist will do that). I'm trying so hard to get better, but it's such a long and hard journey and it's hard to know if you even want to keep going.
Thank you so much for your courage and strength to post about your mental health. Your posts have been so helpful for me when dealing with my own struggle. I pray that you would be able to keep fighting your own battles and to never give up. Even when the sun isn't shining and the moon is dark, the stars will still be shining. ❤️
missed u
419 likesi've found it helps me to write something every single day as well as ((attempt)) to keep a bullet journal. the writing is sometimes thoughts and feelings, sometimes it's how i want to feel, sometimes its completely random and i write from my book of prompts. i'm not sure if that'll help you, but consistency is the key to re-wiring your brain. i also take lexapro everyday for my anxiety/depression/OCD and it has helped LOADS. meds aren't for everyone, therapy isn't for everyone. sometimes you just have to find something that at least helps a little bit and stick with it.
0 likesi hope that helps at least a little bit
I LOVE your tour vlogs!! I will be so happy if you film somethings while you are on tour 💛💛💛
0 likesIm not great today but thank you dodie. You are so busy it is actually insane and if you stay relatively sane that will be an achievement lol. Especially with all the travelling that makes you feel worse, but nevertheless i hope you have a good time👍🏻
0 likesI loved that ending bit it was so cute 😭 I want to try doing VEDIS but I don't know if I can do it and I'm pretty sure I'll die but it lest i'll be trying right? 😂 I got the first video out today lets see how long this will last
0 likesHi Dodie!!! ❤️
21 likesi'm glad that you could be on a path towards feeling better (and that you're starting cbt! that's awesome i'm so happy for you). i really hope it works out for you. we all love you and are here to support you <3
0 likesLove you so much xx (just a little thing I saw in your description that you find it hard to mediate with your eyes closed. Maybe try with them open? I don't do it myself but a few of my friends swear by it and say they still really get the benefit of mindfulness) ❤️
0 likesYeah my brain does the same thing where it will think of a good thing to happen to make a good decision but ain't such a good idea so yes dodie 😂😊
0 likesDodie, you are actually inspiring, do you know?
0 likesWhen u said it was September i was actually shocked because i realized that my birthday 6 days away🌻
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Laiah Clay happy b-day in 6 days lol 😂
0 likesim seeing u in 46 days and im so excited and i hope u feel a bit better then <3 ily u can get through anything my lovely Xx
0 likesI always feel like escaping too, I also deal with depersonalization and I always think traveling or doing exciting things other than uni would help me, but seeing that you travel so much and do so many exciting things and still feel like that is another way to remind me that this is something I have to work on and I can't run away from it. I don't know if this realization makes me feel any better? But it is nice to know I'm not the only one.
0 likesHere are my personal tips for rewiring your brain, because I like your videos and I like your face and personality and singing :) And who knows, maybe this will help some others that are reading the comments too :D I hope it helps a lot of people.
0 likesFirst, let me start by saying I had pretty bad depression back in highschool and early college, still struggle with it sometimes, but I'm loads better now. I refused any help from family or doctors because I felt that I wasn't deserving of it. I felt I didn't deserve to be happy. I was suicidal at one point, going as far as to make an attempt at it. Over the years, I've gotten so much better. I still have bad days, and I still fight with anxiety a lot, but I function so much better now, and I know how to push through the anxiety a good enough portion of the time that I get things done that I want done.
Now for my tips!
It's a long and hard road, but you can do it! Everyone is capable of rewiring their brain. Every. single. person. So you're not allowed to say you can't. Some days are extra hard, and some days you WILL say you can't. But when you have those days, it's important to catch yourself and redirect yourself.
When you say "I can't do this,' catch yourself. Tell yourself, "No. I CAN do this, it's just really hard right now." When you have moments where you're really down on yourself, turn it around and tell yourself something like "I'm awesome and I can get things done, even if I stumble a few times on the way there." Even if you don't believe your own words, just telling yourself you can do it every day is so powerful, and you will eventually make yourself believe it.
Every morning (or night, whenever you wake up), look in the mirror, smile, and tell yourself you're beautiful. Even if you don't believe it, start each day with something simple like this. Start each day with a positive thought~
There will be bad days, and that's ok. Everyone has them, what's important is what we do with them. Have a nice meal or a nice cup of your favorite tea. If it's an especially bad day, little happy things here and there are important! Never forget to take care of yourself, because that's a decent part of what decides how we feel.
One thing that helped me a lot is to think of happiness as something that is made rather than found. In order to be happy, you have to make happiness. And making something takes work, sometimes a lot of hard work. But the happiness that results from it is so very worth it.
An important thing to remember is that it can be a lengthy process. It can take years, but each year will feel a little better than the last. There will be times you'll fall and you might stay down for a while, and it's ok to take a rest if you need to. But pick yourself back up and keep on trucking~ If you stumble, or if you fall, it's not a setback! It's just taking a breather, catching your breath, resting your happy-making brain muscles.
In summary:
Brain rewiring can take a long time and lots of hard work in redirecting your thoughts.
Don't be your worst enemy. I know it's super easy to fall into it. Be nice to yourself, supportive of your own efforts. Remember, look in the mirror and say something nice to yourself. Smile at yourself.
Whenever you're feeling really bad, think to yourself, "Is feeling like this getting me anywhere or teaching me anything of use?" It's ok to feel down sometimes, it's part of being human. But don't forget to take a breath and focus on happier things to get through it.
If you fall down, it's not a setback. You don't go back to square one. You stay where you are on your path, so that you can keep going when you stand back up.
Make happiness! Don't just look for it, actively try to create it. Even if things don't go as expected, there will still be the experiences to look back on, to learn from.
Sorry if this was a bit lengthy XD I wanted to be sure I got all of my points across~ I hope this helps you or anyone else in the comments :)
Ugh that feel when I see photos of my happy little kid self and just wish I had some FREAKING MAP to get back there- I think the fact of once being whole makes the brokenness all the more painful
0 likesHey can you cover songs by kodaline? A few suggestions are all I want, high hopes, love like this, talk, brother
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AnIndianGirl oh gosh high hopes would be amazing!!
0 likesDodie, based on your videos about mental health, I think you and I have very similar anxiety and depersonalization. Watching your videos actually helped me to figure out that was what was wrong with me. I went on Fluoxetine (prozac) recently and it has changed my life. Please consider trying this because I want you to be as happy as I am now. I know its possible. Much love! <3
0 likesdodie much as i love your style of editing i would also appreciate it if you could please leave the text on the screen for slightly longer sometimes, i really can't read that fast lol. lov u
0 likesI'm getting this this where I almost feel present in the present (punintended), but whenever I look back on earlier in the year, month, week and more often than not day, I feel as if I've slept through months of my life, or groggily dragged myself through them? I don't know if it's a kind of depersonalization but so far you're the only person I've found that my experiences with my mental health relate to, lyl dodie 💕💕
0 likesSometimes things just change one day on their own and you think that's a miracle but then the bad place catches up and that's hard to accept without falling behind a smokey screen again. We have to live for the good moments and spend a balanced amount of time distracted from, then on par with reality.
1 likeI love you sm
8 likesI just want to say that you help me. You help me a lot. I love you. Not in a creepy way. In a 'I love your vids' way.
0 likesI hope you find your way back to how you used to feel, I've just accepted that I won't ever be the same and that change is just part of life. I don't think and feel the way I used to but it's not necessarily worse, just different.
0 likesi see your videos and i can relate to you so much, i have had mental health issues for 3 years and i am still struggling however things are getting much much better due to me finally finding a good reliable therapist. there will be underlying issues pointing to why you have these illnesses, to feel better you have to work through those issues first, as for the most part your mental health is a coping mechanism for them (im sure you're already very aware of this anyway). the best way to rewire your brain is through mindfulness and i would really recommend reading "the mindful way through depression" as it has really helped me understand my own brain better. i wish you all the best and i hope you find something that works for you. p.s im coming to see you in newcastle and i cant wait xo
0 likesHey Dodie! When I heard you talking about travelling and still feeling sad, I thought about this Latin text by Seneca I once read in school. He is writing this to a dear friend.
0 likes"1. Do you suppose that you alone have had this experience? Are you surprised, as if it were a novelty, that after such long travel and so many changes of scene you have not been able to shake off the gloom and heaviness of your mind? You need a change of soul rather than a change of climate. Though you may cross vast spaces of sea, and though, as our Vergil remarks, Lands and cities are left astern, your faults will follow you whithersoever you travel.
2. Socrates made the same remark to one who complained; he said: "Why do you wonder that globe-trotting does not help you, seeing that you always take yourself with you? The reason which set you wandering is ever at your heels." What pleasure is there in seeing new lands? Or in surveying cities and spots of interest? All your bustle is useless. Do you ask why such flight does not help you? It is because you flee along with yourself. You must lay aside the burdens of the mind; until you do this, no place will satisfy you.
3. (...)
You wander hither and yon, to rid yourself of the burden that rests upon you, though it becomes more troublesome by reason of your very restlessness, just as in a ship the cargo when stationary makes no trouble, but when it shifts to this side or that, it causes the vessel to heel more quickly in the direction where it has settled. Anything you do tells against you, and you hurt yourself by your very unrest; for you are shaking up a sick man.
4. That trouble once removed, all change of scene will become pleasant; though you may be driven to the uttermost ends of the earth, in whatever corner of a savage land you may find yourself, that place, however forbidding, will be to you a hospitable abode. The person you are matters more than the place to which you go; for that reason we should not make the mind a bondsman to any one place. Live in this belief: "I am not born for any one corner of the universe; this whole world is my country."
5. If you saw this fact clearly, you would not be surprised at getting no benefit from the fresh scenes to which you roam each time through weariness of the old scenes. For the first would have pleased you in each case, had you believed it wholly yours. As it is, however, you are not journeying; you are drifting and being driven, only exchanging one place for another, although that which you seek, – to live well, – is found everywhere. (...)"
I hope you are doing well soon
Xx
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woah woah woah
0 likesLet's get married
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Emma October from Sunshine on Leith? 😃
3 likesEmma October I'm too uncool, it's a song from the musical
0 likesTips: fight the negative voice and the obsessive thoughts. Convince yourself you're ok. Fight the cycle of thoughts. It helped me heaps
0 likesI always try to imagine how amazing it would be to go back to past before "x" happened, before everything changed, before this, before that.
2 likesbut I'm trying to accept the fact that I am not the same person as I was when I was 4, 9, 15, or even a year ago. We are bond to change, and it's almost impossible to be the person who you were before because there are elements in your life that changed you. and that's okay.
I know it's hard, but accepting the fact that you're now a different person but still be able to love yourself, accept yourself, and validate yourself if you're going through a rough time, it's okay to feel out of place, depressed, anxious, etc. The same way you changed when you were younger, you will change the older you get and hopefully we can all look back and say "thank fuck i stayed alive to see this good side of life"
I remember in 2015 when I have already been depressed for a year and have forgotten what happiness feels like I had this dream that I girl I was in love with at the time said that she felt the same way. And my body just filled with this unspeakable joy. I felt light again, with no worries dragging me down, just like a year ago. I remembered what happiness felt like. And then I woke up. And it was just g o n e. It was so painful diving back to sadness again
0 likesIt was in July of this year and I was on the swings, the sky was electric blue and bigger than I have even seen, when I felt it again, in real life. But not because of a person. At that moment while I was on the swings I was happy. Just because I was. I existed. I was. That was enough. I somehow managed not to scare it away, I just enjoyed it for as long as it lasted
Of course it didn't last forever. Today I feel okay, not fine, but okay, alright, content, it takes time. But I hold on to that moment on the swings as a reminder that I can indeed be happy. And you can. You will <3
it's weird it's comforting to know that other people feel this way
0 likesDoes anyone know if dodies coming to New Zealand on her tour?
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Sophie's Creativenessness It's just a uk tour
1 likewriting to fight oh okay thankyou
0 likesSophie's Creativenessness aww ikr I wish she would come to NZ too
3 likesAhhh I WISH!!!!!!
1 likelove love love this style of video, more pls xxxx
0 likesI wish there was a way we could help you when it comes to this... I send you all my love 💓💓💓💓💓
0 likesWe love you Dodie!
0 likesi started crying when you talked about how you felt content in your dream and wished you could find a way to feel like that in a conscious state; it really resonated with me. i understand how that feels, i've had nights where i've woken up from a dream that took place when i was a kid and i sit in bed for a while thinking about how i may have not really been happy, but i was content-- and i really wish i still felt like that. i've had days where i come home from school and i'll think about my childhood and start crying, not because it was bad, but because i wasn't anxious or sad. i'll think back to when i was a toddler and when my parents were still together and they were still happy too. and i actually feel bad saying that it's comforting to know you understand to some degree how i feel, because i would never want someone to have a similar mental state as me. but your videos talking about your mental health really make me feel so much better. they remind me that there are other people who face similar problems as i do and that i don't need to hate myself over my mental health because so many people fight through it too. and it's kind of silly that i'm writing this all out to you as if you were my pen pal, but how much you share makes me feel like that there's someone there to talk to. but i guess that's good because tricking myself into thinking someone's there is the only way i could write this much, and i guess there is someone there. someone's bound to read this and i'll be expressing how i feel to someone. i should just end by saying thank you. so that's what i'll do. thanks dodie.
0 likesWouldn't we all?
13 likestoo real. i think ive recently been experiencing dp/dr and i'm scared to death that i'm never going feel like myself again. it's so hard to explain it but i can't think of anything more scary than the thought of being in this state forever. i hope to all of you out there suffering with these kinds of things too that we can all figure out how to rewire and be well. <3
0 likesshe's probably got the most comforting voice out of,,,, everyone
0 likeswe love you dodie ❤
0 likesI look up to your tenacity and your determination, you will find a method that will help you cope, that will come in time, the better things in life are unexpected.
0 likesQuestion, will you be performing while in LA? Or is it purely business stuff?
you're teeth are so beautiful like how the hell,, this is my 3rd year of braces and i'm only 13,,,
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isla I'm about to be on my third year of braces and I'm 14
0 likesisla I had braces for 5 years, I'm 13 I just got them off 2 months ago
0 likesNice to know someone else feels just entirely fed up with having to deal with mental illness day to day. Its so hard just waiting for treatment and watching days go by.
0 likesOh my god I forgot about FUN I used to listen to them all the time. Anyway hope you're feeling better, and if not I hope you can feel some kind of peace soon enough!
0 likesdodie!! you should do a proper cover of some nights, i think you're voice is good for it
0 likesLove you Dodie. You will get there
0 likesuh was that a cheeky harry potter reference in the end text???
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YIS
118 likesdoddleoddle YIS
16 likesHannah Lewis OMG I'M A HARDCORE POTTERHEAD
4 likesI am literally re-reading Harry Potter and the philosopher's stone rn
1 likeI never knew Dodie likes HP?!
1 likeI really missed you
0 likesGod bless you gorgeous
I love you and I hope you feel better soon ❤
I reeeaally want to meet you one day but I never have the money or the time, I'm always doing something, there's always something planned... but it's on my bucket list ♡ love you Dodie
1 likeWhenever I'm in a depressive episode I get the urge to delete all my social media and all my apps from my phone lmao
0 likesYou know what dodie. I look at you and girls similar to you and I think "o so I'm gay?" and I keep denying it but no I am attracted to girls like you. Okay woah. Yea, okay just wanted to say that thank you. I love you, have a nice everyday Idk okay.
0 likesi love you
214 likesI LOVE DODIE SO MUCH!!!
1 likeHey Dodie. I know a bit about fighting depression, anxiety and my own stubborn panic disorder. It's not easy, and I've been fighting it since I became symptomatic 10 years ago. It's not easy finding the right treatment(s) that work for each individual, but I swear, if you keep looking, you'll find what's right for you like I have.
0 likesIn the meantime, just please never forget that you have friends and family who love you, and at least a million folks (like me) whose life you made a bit more enjoyable because of your videos. I'm not much of a "hugger," but I'm making an exception... (BIG HUG).
it's comforting yet incredibly sad that I know I am not alone and that I am not going mad and that other people go through these feelings and thoughts as well but I also wish that none of us would go through it. It's all a bit shit yet heartwarming
1 likeDODIE THAT HARMONY YOU DID TO FUN. WAS AMAZING
0 likesSo Josh is drinking from a bottle of ketchup ...
7 likesI totally understand you not posting everyday and that life happens which makes posting something low on your priority list. You are a very resilient, intelligent, and capable human and I trust that when you're on hiatus it's because you need to be. Glad you're back for now Dodie!! 💕
0 likesCan definitely relate on the mental illness front ;-; I've finally gotten through to a counselling service (starting on Monday) so here's hoping! ^_^
0 likesHonestly, most of my anxiety could be helped if I could stop talking to myself in such a negative way when I fuck up. My therapist is going to help me with this because it's very hard to feel like you have a little alien floating outside your head that hates you and everything you are doing.
0 likeshearing dodie say "fucking" for the first time made my day so bright! :)
0 likesDODIE! Your sign in the background is spelt wrong - it says " happy thougts" but it should be "happy thoughts" :/ (soz for the tangent lol)
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Reuben at the intro of the video there's like this 1sec text that says that she only got two h with the product
29 likesOh yeah so it does ;)
2 likesIn regards to mindfulness, I get what you mean about how having your eyes closed fucks you up. I have a hard time with that too cause I find I get dizzy, which triggers panic attacks. So maybe try like lightly focusing on something in the general area or just focus on how your body feels, on your breath? It sometimes helps me when I'm having a bad panic attack and trying to bring myself back to the moment to stop the negative brain cycle.
1 likeI too feel like this with my depression and stuff but my way to go since not so long ago is that I just focus on the positive, let go of the negative, don't look back or too forward and don't let negative thoughts get in the way of my potential happiness cause it's a waste of time and energy when I could be doing anything that makes me a little happier. I guess part of feeling better is training your brain to think he is already on his way. Anyway, love you Dodie♥
0 likesPLEASE DON'T BECOME A HIPPY DODIE I NEED YOUR VIDEOS TO CHEER ME UP
0 likesI love you so much, dodie. 💖💖
0 likeswoah this is the first time i'm actually early to a video
5 likesI've already mentioned this a couple times when you've asked about mental health things, but CBD oil has helped me pretty well. It's been shown to be effective with depression and anxiety in some empirical studies with few side effects, and I've seen one mention of someone with depersonalization using it. I don't think that's been studied though. Other than that I'm sure anything I have to say you've heard before. Mindfulness meditation, tai chi, breathing exercises, etc. One thing I also reccomend looking into now that I think of it, if I recall correctly at some point you said you think you might be suffering from complex-ptsd. If so one thing that might help with that is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. Hope you find the right help for you and that your mental health starts to weigh on you less. <3
0 likesI always feel how I did as a kid in dreams. Just kind of crazy and out of control and not caring about consequence it's weird.
0 likesOnce I read in a book (Three Times at Dawn) that when we start over we never do it because we want to change ourselves. Instead, we mean to change card table, since we can never change our actual cards. But I think that sometimes when we lose, it's not only because our cards are kinda crap, but because understanding how to use them in the game is very, very complicated. However, we can learn to do better, we can win if we look at them in the right way, for the right amount of time. It can be depressing- to stare at something that is dragging you down. But it's not about staring at them, it's about trying to figure them out and focusing on the good cards we have. We can use so many different strategies.
0 likesThere has to be a way to improve what we are doing. I can't let myself believe there isn't.
i always have this fantasy of running away and changing my name and being liable to nobody but that's just not how the world works. might have come from me watching skins a lot when i was younger and becoming fixated on these characters and why and how they ever felt free lol
0 likesLast time I was this early the uk was still in the European Union
6 likesMy derealization went away for a while and I was so happy! I focused on not focusing (ha) on the issue and the intrusive thoughts and after months and months, it worked. Then summer came. I spent most of it in my room, which I'm not even upset about. Recently my family went on a week long trip. I was so excited. I couldn't wait to leave the house and travel places I've never been before. It was fun at first, then it wasn't. I started to get irritable. I hated everyone around me. Every little noise bugged me. For an entire day I refused to leave the van. When we got a hotel, I obsessively cleaned everything. The thoughts I managed to get rid of came back and I couldn't stop them. Nothing is real. Nothing matters. At night I would go into the hotel bathroom and cry.
0 likesMy derealisation came back. It fucking sucks. And I don't know if I can last the months it's going to take to get rid of it again.
I know this is a serious vid and all and I'm very very very very glad that you're attempting to be content in every moment (which is extremely healthy and helpful btw), BUT THE HARRY POTTER REFERENCE AT THE END I CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF
0 likesI had a dream thing. Every so often I dream I can fly. When I'm depressed I don't have the flying dreams. Despite currently being depressed, I had one last night, and it felt so real I woke up and expected to be able to fly. I can remember the dream clearly. I can remember the way flying felt and the way air moved around me. In the dream I told someone what flying felt like "the weightlessness of swimming but I can breathe". I think it was my brain sort of reminding me that I wasn't always depressed, and that I won't always be. That I will be able to fly again.
0 likesYou don't get happy, being happy is something you have to work on continuously. It is a journey, not a destination. You just gotta do it. (Just do it)
0 likesMe me BIG boy 😉
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Moonith Monday's ayeee whatdup squad fam
4 likesJulianna P oooops
1 likeayyyyyy famsquad
1 likehey dodie, i've related a lot to your struggles mentally, i also have anxiety and derealisation/depersonalisation and i fell into depression. i went to CBT for a while but it didn't really do much for me. recently i found a psychotherapist instead of a CBT therapist and she has helped me change my life. She wasn't on the NHS, she is private but luckily she has affordable prices. I hope CBT works for you, but if it doesn't (like me) I suggest looking into psychotherapists near you. It's completely different to CBT and I can't explain how much it's helping me through this. Thank you for being so honest through all of this I wish you the best 💕
0 likesHi Dodie, I struggle with depersonalization too, alongside restless legs syndrome. Recently I read Norman Doige's "The Brain's Way of Healing." Experts in the book recommend patients to engage in vivid visualization when experiencing pain as a means of rewiring neural pathways to put a permanent end to chronic pain. The book mentions that depression can be cured in a similar method and I've been trying it out for my depersonalization and RLS. Hope this is helpful, and I wish you all the best (because you deserve it 😇)
0 likesdodie, I definitely recommend you read the book "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma". I know it's mainly on trauma but one of the symptoms is deperosnalisation. The guy who wrote this basically describes different methods of therapy not including drugs and dunno maybe you'll find it interesting or helpful and try sth new like EMDR or I hear yoga really grounds you. wish u the best tho!!
0 likesCan you do a full cover of the song at the end aghhh you'd sound so gooodddd
0 likesWoo! Super early squad 💛💛
41 likesI HOPE CBT IS GREAT MAKE SURE THEY TALK ABOUT THE CBT TRIANGLE ITS HELPED ME SO MUCH
0 likesCan't remember the last time I had 'that moment'. One of the worst things about depression imo is not only believing that you'll never be happy, but that you've never been happy either. Oh well. Life goes on.
0 likesI hope you can eventually feel the way you used to but I hope you still enjoy your time in America despite what's happening in your brain and dont feel bad if it seems like you are running away because honestly doing fun things for yourself might help I know it helps me to be doing things I typically enjoy even if I don't enjoy it as much because of my mind it still helps a bit
0 likesThese kinda vids and reading comments of people who share the same struggles are so comforting. You're never alone. <3
0 likesDodie I love you but thoughts*
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😂💕
1 likeKaya Donah I think there were not enough space ! 😂
3 likesThere were only 2 H's in the pack she got (watch the very beginning of the vid again)
22 likesRea Keebz ohhh okay
2 likesshe got it half price cos of the missing H
1 likeKaya Donah AAAHAHAHAHA
0 likesfor those signs there are only two letters for each letter. so she couldn't put a thougHts because there wasn't another h. I have the same sign and you can change what it says on it :)
1 likelistening to fun. brings back happier memories for me :)
0 likesabout ur description: you don't necessarily have to close your eyes! I've done mindfulness too and closing my eyes made me freak out so my therapists told me I had to focus on one specific thing, for example a picture on the wall or something outside. It really helped for me!! maybe you can try it :) xx
0 likesIf there's any specific places in your home that are connected to memories of being extremely depressed/depersonalized then try to switch the, around a bit and make it feel like a complete different place. While you're traveling currently think of places in some of your happiest memories and do some things to make each hotel/place you stay seem familiar and happier. Something that might help also is keeping a tiny notebook of some sort and carry it around with you throughout the day. Document the best parts of the day with as much detail as you can and also document your lows. At the end of the day go through them and remember all the lovely times of the day and go through the worst parts and try to think of ways you could prevent getting yourself into those situations tomorrow !
0 likes(This isn't very good advice and I'm no expert on helping people feel better, but I hope this helps someone anyway ?)
That Harry Potter reference tho. Love you dodie! 💛
0 likesRiP I can't go to playlist live
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Grace same :(((
2 likesGrace well I live near DC so I'ma bout to look into it
1 like+Alberto Droguett
5 likesholy cheese! are you ok?
MiSO SOUP HERE O H H E L L O
0 likesDodie, you're probably never going to read this but I just need to say that you are so, so strong. I'm not just saying that because I watch your videos and your super talented, I'm saying this because I see beauty and strength in people and there is a lot in you. With all this madness in your head you are still such a lovely and coping person. It may not seem like your coping well, but your here and reading this right now. You're breathing, you have made it through another day and that's enough. Keep staying strong and we all love you.
1 likeAlso if you could give this a like for Dodie to hopefully read this and maybe make her day that would be lovely thank you so much x
I've read that some mindfulness exercises (like closing your eyes and trying to relax) don't work for people with dissociation (and exacerbate it) so you might want to be careful about that
0 likeshey i really liked this kind of just you talking to us + the casual hanging out with josh in the end :) have fun in D.C.!! love u
0 likesGod I've had a crush on you for such a long time, I wish I could re-wire your brain for you so badly I love you so so so much you don't even know🌻 also thanks for not going on that trip and coming to SITC as i got to meet you and that was the best moment in my entire life ❤ thank you for existing lol
0 likesLol, Harry Potter
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GreenEyed SwanQueen lil, Lord Voldemort
1 likewith all the travels coming up, it may be easier to be in the present and really enjoy the next adventure. but with that said, it's important to take a step back and really notice where you are. just noticing and witnessing it without setting out to change your mental state is a good first step to being in the moment and appreciating who you are. i'd say that the rest of that comes later, but i can't say for sure based of my experiences. but good luck and do what you gotta do, girl!
0 likesI'm still finish to watch this video but I had to say how real you are. You're amazing. I wanna be your friend lel
0 likesTo help rewire your brain, you can do some things you did as a child. It will make you remember how you felt in that moment.
0 likesHi Dodie, Ive been dealing with anxiety for six years now( which sometimes leads me to have depressive episodes) and I can relate with the feeling of needing to run away from life and wanting to start fresh like mental illness will go away like magic. One thing that definitely helps is to accept that you have your mental illness and that you are not feeling ok, and not try to think i should happy, i shouldnt be feeling this way, etc. You can accept it and learn how to live with it by your side, since is something you can't make Go away. Doing so really helped me learn how to cope better with anxiety and panic attacks. Once you take that pressure out of yourself of needing to be better, ironically it makes you feel better. That doesnt mean letting It consume you, but more as If keep working on It but without trying to push It away. I know it sounds weird, but in a way, you need to be friends with your depression, because the more you try to push It aside the harder It is to heal it. And know that you have to be your friend during this period, and not Beat yourself down for feeling this. Accepting isnt easy, but with time and practice it will be and It makes dealing with it so much easier. I Hope my explanation wasn't to confusing. Stay strong Dodie, know that you can get through this hard period of your life.
0 likesRemember that CBT is a process! Your brain has been this way for years-- it's going to take a lot of time to rewire it! But it CAN be rewired! I've been going to therapy since March and putting the time in on the homework the therapist gives me really does help. Sometimes it's as simple as acknowledging your emotions and the physical state of your body to ground yourself and then to talk through in your brain whether your assumption about the world which is informing your actions is true. Love you lots! Hope the Con goes better than expected.
0 likesI love you so much dodie xx 💛
0 likesI wish that I could be happy with whatever comes to me that i can just see the best in everything that happens but it's not easy sometimes.
0 likesI wish I knew what the answer is, Dodie. I would tell you if I did! I don't suffer from depersonalization, but I could still relate to most of what you said in this video. Thank you for making it! It made me feel less lonely with these thoughts. hugs <3
0 likesI know there is not magic fix to depersonalization (I've been through it). Depersonalization occurs during moments of great stress/ anxiety. For me it helps to think "this is just stress" because that's all it is. And by thinking that it kind of reduces the Big scary word "depersonalization" into something much smaller and much more relatable, "stress". I'm not saying that it's a magical cure but, for me personally, it helps make it seem less scary! I hope you and anyone in the comments dealing with the same thing is doing alright!
0 likes@doddlevloggle this video summarises one of the main reasons why mental illness is so frustrating. Often, my brain turns on me too. I am 17, turning 18 v. soon, and my aspirations are to be what you are: successful.
0 likesI admire you to heights for your talent, and success.The thing is, it is so easy to become jealous of (and- please don't take this in the wrong way- but even resentful towards) you. I find myself thinking 'this fantastic woman has everything I could wish for in terms of success in creativity, work, talent...yet she is finding it hard to appreciate these things...why...?'
Then I stopped myself.
Because it dawned on me why bad mental health IS so bad: it is SO SO SO difficult to appreciate your achievements when your head decides to press the fuck-it button. I have plenty to be grateful for, but my depression usually clouds it.
So. It was just to tell you that I get it, and you've helped me reinforce that fact: to remain on the saner side, people have to take care of their brain 💛 on that note, we can still be successful- it's not like we have to put everything on hold until we are a-okay 👌 mentally...it just needs to be a priority so we can appreciate...well..life!
Thanks dodie, and well done for all of your achievements x
Meditation helps to be content in the moment - it helped me although i keep forgetting to do it and then drifting back to depression urgh
0 likesaw dodes i hope the therapy goes well <3
0 likesYour so raw and relatable 💭🖤
1 likeThe moment that true joy entered my life was when I found my life's purpose. I don't think you need to come up with one defining life purpose to be happy but I promise that by giving purpose to your decisions and thoughts will make it so much easier to be healthy, body and mind and soul. A good question that can get you started is what would you do with your life if you KNEW you could not fail? Hope that helps you as much as it's helped me.
0 likesive also started feeling depersonalized in my dreams...its such a wild feeling
0 likesIt takes practice to enjoy each moment.
0 likesHow I started was if I thought a day was negative, I'd notice, stop myself and then try to think of the positives.
It doesn't have to be massive.
E.G. Yesterday at work we all got evacuated from the building. (everyone's fine, staff and public are all good.)
That could have been seen as negative.
However, in that moment I was thankful 1 that it was nothing serious, 2 I was in a situation where I wouldn't be in a casual setting. You see I haven't gone for a few drinks after work so this was a situation where we were all standing around talking to one another.
3 I was just grateful because at that moment countries are dealing with three different hurricanes.
Or, I'll recognise the good conversations I've had with people.
It takes practice, the more you notice your thoughts to stop and switch them, the easier it will be.
It takes practice but just like playing the uke, that took practice. It was difficult at first I'm sure, after practice a song becomes second nature. You no longer think about where your fingers need to be, or what chord comes next.
The same can be said for enjoying the moment.
You'll get there.
As I've always said, no matter how big or small the steps, keep moving forward.
I don't ave depersonalisation, but my ADD gives me similar symptoms. That numbness/floatiness has been my faithful companion for a long time now (the best I can describe it is with the Loneliness-Meddlum in Carrie's All that she can see) and I've had four precious days of absolute clarity and presence this years. Two of them happened when I cut off my hip-long hair to a pixie cut. The third one happened when I got my daith piercing, it was a little lighter though. The last one was when I had my tongue pierced. That one held for a little over a day. The difference I noticed is that, the less people know about the change I'm making, the more clarity I get. Noone out of my family knew I was going to cut off my hair. Everyone knew about the daith piercing. Three friends knew about the tongue. It's like everytime I commit to a change that I will get to announce like an achievement, I get clarity from the moment the change is initiated to the moment I announce it. That's not the healthiest coping mechanism to make myself feel real, but my therapist encouraged this behaviour strongly, because they're all temporary changes if I want them to be and they're much safer than self harm. I want to get tattoos eventually and I've told him about that and we reached the conclusion that tattoos being permanent, need more reasoning and therefore should be discussed beforehand. This is a good "small fix" for me. I don't know if it could help you, but maybe it'll help someone?
1 likei feel you 🖤 stay strong
1 likeFreaking love dodie
0 likesHey Dodie, I know that you probably won't see this but oh well. I've been watching your channel for a while now and I have been in love ever since. Your music is beautiful, I love all of your covers and all of your original songs. I love it so much! Also, I know how you struggle with your mental stuff and it's really helped me with my own anxiety to know that other people feel the same and you talk so honestly about it. It makes me feel like I'm not alone and I'm not a bad person and everything to do with that. I wish I could go to conventions like sitc and everything because I really want to meet you. Lots of my school friends adore you as well. I hope to see you next year at some point because it would make me so happy!! Thank you for making such great content and music and being so open about your depersonalisation and depression and anxiety, you have no idea how much it has helped me. YOU'RE AMAZING!!! (btw I wish I could pull off glitter on my face like you) :)
0 likesdodie is one of the only humans who make me happy
0 likesDodie, I had some thoughts that might help you with your depersonalolisation maybe. This is very long haha so the summary basically is try to read some Russ Harris books if you haven't already! It seems like you are often stuck in this cycle of "omg I'm depersonalised", which then triggers your brain because its a learned "bad" thing, then you have more negative thoughts like"will i ever feel normal again" which dont help with the anxiety/depression which then triggers more depersonalisation... and so on.
0 likesSo basically I read an article a couple of years ago about how every time we have a thought and then a reaction to that thought we are actually creating and recreating PHYSICAL brain pathways- which is how habits are formed. You know all this but please keep reading! But every time we have a thought and catch ourselves and have a NEW reaction we create a new pathway that the brain can "go" down? I dont know how it works but the point is the more you practice the new thought-reaction combination the deeper the new pathway becomes until it replaces the old habit. I guess this is the basics of CBT so probably stuff that you already know, BUT theres more! There is a book called The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris that is all about combining CBT with mindfulness and it is based on that concept of creating new brain pathways but instead of doing it through having a negative thought like "im ugly" or "i feel really depersonalised right now" and then actively chasing and responding to that thought with "no im.not, stop thinking like that" or something, you are supposed to just notice that negative thought, let it sit and exist until.it fizzles away again. So the habit being created here is that the negative thought creates NO reaction, just a recognition if its existence as a bunch of words strung together to create a sentence in your brain.
The theory is that by actively trying to change the thought you sort of reiterate the idea that it's negative and needs to be changed so your brain has already gone down the negative pathway (and hence recreated it a bit more) and now needs to come back up i guess.... by using the mindfulness approach you sort of eliminate that part of the process and the new habit becomes more of a "cool, i'm.having a thought" reaction. And it takes the power away.
And breaks that cycle :)
This isnt going to cure you obviously but its something that might help with some part of that process i hope! Something to bring up with your therapist maybe. :)
that ending tho, i would have done the same ^^
0 likesi missed you dodie!!❤❤
1 likeomg dodie!! i really wanna meet you. you are the reason why i started playing the ukulele and singing. i'd love to get in contact with you, my instagram is taya_lyn_delorme . ❤
0 likesfor me it felt like a snowballing effect. I had this one good moment, which turned into a good day, and it just kept building on itself until my anxiety was in the distant past. I'm sure I need to find a more permanent solution than "whoops it just went away one day and now I'm fine" because I'm still afraid of it coming back every day and I'm not 100% yet. but life is more bearable now and I can think clearer and actually actively fix my brain.
0 likesas for what triggered the good moment..... idk?? ? lol which is quite scary because I don't know how to stop the anxiety if it ever comes back. but I think traveling really helps, the change of environment refreshes your mind and every time I traveled I felt like I got one step further.
anyhow I shall conclude this by saying I love u SO MUCH and you will find a way to get better. <3
CBT has helped me more than words can say. I was in a bad place where I urgently needed therapy, so I went privately instead of waiting on the NHS-the only con is the money, but I honestly can't put a price on the therapist I have! I'd recommend going private if you really need it asap and keep searching until you find the right person-kind of like finding the right antidepressant. I'm now on a second SSRI and hopefully will do something this time :) you got this <3
0 likesHey Dodie. I really missed you. I went on holiday and listened to YOU EP 24/7. I love u a lot and u have really helped me come to terms with my sexuality and my anxiety. Thanks for all you do.😚🖤💋hOlLy 😊 PS: Is now a good time to come out to my parents ( they both have gay brothers and I'm 13)
0 likesI relate. I get deeply attached to people quickly, and at the moment I'm really struggling to learn to let go of my teachers. I have dreams of them helping me, of me having conversations with them in made up scenarios, and I am given the motherly figure I so badly wish for. Yesterday, in my dream I heard my teacher talking to me, and it was so clear, which for me was sad, I haven't heard her voice since December. In our final conversation she told me it wasn't goodbye forever. I'm leaving for uni in 3 weeks, it's hard to come to terms with the fact it was goodbye. I felt like I've been waiting half a year to see her again, and it never happened.
0 likesLike now I'm a new person. I no longer go to the school where i found so many teachers to trust, to find hope and love in. Now it's all over and I'm on my own.
I literally imagine, ditching my phone, social media, flying to California, cutting and dying my hair and just leaving all my stuff behind and hoping to gain some clarity. Living in the sun. Reading books instead of clickbait and feeling content.
0 likesI have just been referred for CBT with EMDR ... apparently EMDR does exactly that, reconnects your brain to your heart etc. Might be worth looking into? x
0 likesDodie, if I ever meet you, do I have permission to just give you a huge hug with minimal introduction?
0 likesHave you tried any medicine? I am on a wonderful meds for depression (Effexor) and i haven't felt this like myself for 4 years. I know people are scared it will change them but mental illness is NOT who you are. If you haven't tried any yet I hope you have considered it.
0 likesAlso Dodie, I love you and you deserve to be happy. You don't know me but i would take away all of your pain and carry it away with me if i could. You are like a best friend to me. Do whatever it takes to get better.
Dodie, you don't have to close your eyes to do meditation/mindfulness if it makes you feel bad, it makes it easier to focus to be sure but you can do it without. There isn't just one way to meditate.
0 likesgotta love that yearning for a geographical cure. good luck with CBT/whatever comes next!
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hahahah that's a great way of putting it
0 likescan't take credit, it's (as with a lot of smart, helpful things haha) a john greenism! :)
0 likesI feel the same way a lot. Most of the time I feel sad and alone and i can’t let go of what happened in the past and I’m a mess. But sometimes, I get this feeling, a feeling so familiar to me, because it’s just how I used to feel. And in those moments when everything seems okay, i’m okay. i think that it’s the things that create those little moments of happiness that we need to hold on to.
0 likesevery once in a while I get a brief time of no anxiey/depression and it's. wild. honestly, you feel like you weigh so little and everything suddenly feels POSSIBLE and in those moments, I feel hope. because regularly, I'm almost sure it's impossible to truly get a healthy brain, but then those moments come and I think maybe I can get there, or at least a little closer someday.
0 likesIt feels nice for we to talk about we dp because it makes me feel not alone in having this horrid disease. I love listening to the way she describes it because I had described it the same way my entire life and I've gotten 'just a phase' or 'you'll grow out of it' or 'it's just an out of body experience' or 'it's nothing' and it's just so comforting and warming to know that it's an actual disease I can work through. Ily dodie!!!
0 likesi have to say this but whenever i watch your videos i feel like ive been cleansed.....
0 likesDon't worry about posting all the time. You're doing a good job.
0 likesI know how it is to dream of traveling when I'm down. It starts when something in my life (I don't always know exactly what it is) makes me feel trapped - so then, the Prisoner's Prerogative (look it up if you don't know what it is - it FASCINATES me) kicks in and I WANT TO GET OUT OF THE TRAPPED FEELING. So, fuck the idea that you're "running away from your problems," friend - that's self-care, because travel generally makes you feel better, right? And it removes you from the environment you're in, right? So, if you can (with a psychologist/counselor, if you can't do it solo), I'd recommend thinking on what specifically makes you want to leave the life you have. It might not help you, because mental illness works differently for everyone, but for me, it disempowers that voice of discontent in my head that pushes me to just leave my life behind when I'm able to understand it explicitly.
0 likesYour dreams sound like they're lifelike and are more like memories,
1 likeAll I dream about is being hunted, chased or just threatened
This isn't something that will rewire my brain is just making a list of all the things you are stressed and sad about. It really helps to get it out of your system. Then it's easier to address things one at a time instead of having them overwhelm you.
0 likesthe words at the very end are so relatable to my everyday life
0 likesWill you be doing a signed editions of your book? ❤️
0 likesa bit of a weird tip, but i'd suggest rewatching your old videos and rereading your old instagram posts (mental health permitting). I've been feeling the same way for awhile and it was really easy to believe that i was experiencing life totally different a few months ago and everything is foggy and worse now, but this morning I read through all my old poetry on my phone and i was SO pleasantly shocked at the perspective it game me!! i don't know how to explain it, but i highly highly highly recommend it!!
0 likesI wish this wasn't triggering for me. I skipped to you and Josh part, and it made me grin listening to FUN and you two singing along. I'm grateful for that bit.
0 likesI have struggle with this a lot myself and I always listen to how you yearn for before that feeling of depersonalisation, when life felt good and real? I tend to feel really lost and in some sort of void because I don't have any good in my past to hold on to and just sort of feel like there's nothing. It's hard to explain. Sort of like being suspended I guess. Come from nowhere and nowhere to go. Just sort of there for no particular reason.
0 likesI can relate because I used to cry every night and just couldn't calm down, and now I can just - go to bed and feel ok. One can only appreciate this silence when you've lost it before. I hope you find it again
0 likesOh shit, I just got put on the waiting list for low level CBT yesterday that's so weirddddd
2 likesNo matter where you go or what you do, your problems WILL follow you. The only solution is to tackle the problem head on!
0 likesI quite enjoyed the book Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, might want to check out a few excerpts from it if it's your kind of thing
0 likesUgh, I also would just love to just get up and go Chris McCandless my way through a bit of my life (of course skipping the dying part) and experience the world and just live and try to escape my anxiety and depression and to get away from everyone and everything... But I'm like 16 and that's not an option for me
1 likeTHAT ENDSCREEN DODIE I FUCKING LOVE YOU
0 likesHello!! This year I'm in i sophomore year and I'm taking honors English! We're doing an anthology paper on a topic in which we were able to choose ourselves. I chose depersonalization because it's something that my mom and I struggle with at times. If anyone has any books, short stories, short films, movies etc. that could connect to depersonalization and/or a character who goes through it, it would be so lovely of you to comment. I hope everyone has a nice night, evening, day, or morning and take a nice nap. Byeo
0 likesthere's this thing where it's like physical therapy but for your brain and it's called rewiring your brain, I think buzzfeed did a vid about it but yeah you should totally check it out, I love you, stay strong Dodie 💚
0 likesIt seems like you're ripe to do some running away. I believe you can be happy and at peace. I believe your desire for vivid experience and wholeness can aim you. I think all of these projections of ourselves that we put into screens can feel....heavy, small, strange, not good. Run away Dodie! Be FREE! However you go forward, I wish you well!
1 likeschool starts tomorrow and im super anxious so im watching dodie to calm me down
0 likeshey dodes! very late and stuff but! i think you should read the chapter runaway which starts on pg 141 from connor's note to self which could kinda help you put what you're thinking about in perspective xo
0 likesi too have that urge and i just read the chapter and it brings me sanity and stuff 💛🌻
recently i've been thinking of times that you should try to live in the moment for (i don't actually have depersonalisation so you've either tried it or it just wouldn't work but nvm) like when you're eating really good food or on a theme park ride or just generally any other opportunity that won't come round again, or at least for a very long time. as i said it's probably useless
1 likeSomething that has been helping me latley is kinda forcing myself to go out, to enjoy and he happy about it, to be silly and bubbly in public like i use to be before my depression and anxity and doing all this has been helping, i still have bad days of coures but thete starting to get fewer and far between.
0 likesI hope something ends up rewireing you brain. I just want you to be happy!
0 likesI love everything Dodie does, but...
0 likesManager Josh in a thumbnail is an instant click from me.
Do you have glowstick juice on your face? On another note, I hope your metal health inproves and you feel better! You are amazing!❤
0 likesdodie is a blessing
0 likesHave you tried mindful meditation? I've been practicing for a bit and it's really helping. You need to keep at it though. It takes a bit to feel better and you have to work for it, but it WORKS.
0 likesI know this may sound weird and standart, but i am sure that you will get better soon ! And if taking a break is what you need, then just do it ! You dont have to do all this, maybe go travel a bit and if you are lucky you will meet new friends :). Also : if you need any help be sure we, your community, will always be there to help you dealing with all this :).
0 likesKeep it up doodle
HIGHLY recommend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to anyone with mental illness.
0 likesI went for my chronic fatigue and anxiety and it really helped! Hope that you feel better by doing CBT Dodie, it's nice as a viewer seeing you so enthusiastic as to achieving good mental health. I don't mean this in a mean way, but it's much more pleasant to watch as a viewer compared to when you film while you're feeling very unwell. We all do it, but in that state of mind one can be very negative.
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:) <3
0 likesdoddlevloggle ❤️❤️
0 likesas someone who writes a lot of poetry and travels a lot, I tend to stare out the window with my music on. But I always make sure I have it in a certain order, I'll have the depressed songs go first so I can let my brain be upset, then I move on to what I call fiction music. For me this is soundtracks from video games like undertale, pokemon, etc. I let the music take me back to that place where I can be anything I want to be, where I have support from a perfect world. And I let myself be content in that music, I feel happy. Then I play my thinking songs. Songs about things that are irrelevant to my life, and imagine that someone else be that party animal or love struck heart. That happiness that's just barely coming through I try to push out with songs like tongue tied, bellyache, ect. I think about how the world is so full of emotions and happiness and ideas. And that i can do and not do as much as everyone else. That when I feel like I'm floating away, I can get myself back by knowing that I am just like everyone else, my brains just has a couple loose wires. If you end up seeing this dodie, I'm not sure if it helps but I really hope it does. This is about all the tips I've got.
0 likesoh boy now I'm gonna have Some Nights stuck in my head again for days
0 likesEMDR IT HELPS TO REWIRE YOUR BRAIN LOOK INTO IT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE (well it was for me anyway)
0 likesOMG I LOVED THAT SONG!!!!
0 likesI have the same kind of thing where i dont really feel alive or in the moment but just kindof spaced out all the time but the thng is im only 13 and i first started feeling like this when i was about 10 i dont feel depressed or anything, im just spaced out
0 likesAbout mindfulness, though it may help for finding some peace, I also experienced that it makes me feel more spaced out, because you turn inwards, in stead of outwards, if you get what I mean?
0 likesI find something that helps my depression (I don't have any experience with depersonalization, sorry) is doing weird things.
2 likesNot mountain-climbing necessarily, but things you haven't done or don't ordinarily do. And doing it without expectations. Without building up in your head how it's gonna be perfect. Just going in and going with it. This works even better if you have (as I have) a friend who'll just drag you off on an adventure or make you try something. Even just little things, like exploring a part of town you've never been to, or a new flavor can stop you thinking about your own thoughts and knock you back into the present moment. One more thing: it works better the fewer obligations, plans, and other mental/emotional baggage associated with it. That family holiday that's been planned months in advance is more likely to have expectations, stress (where's my toothbrush? we'll be late for our flight!) and any underlying tensions/unresolved issues you have with family members (even ones you aren't conscious of). A day trip to the countryside with a friend or two, a veggie platter, and a good record is much better. Or climbing on top of a building to look at the night sky.
Just my little thoughts.
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That sounds so nice!
0 likesI'll be meeting you at vidcon Australia, and I'm really worried! Make sure to look after yourself! You are always so busy with other conventions in America, I'm going to make sure to remind you to take care when I meet you!
0 likesi do the same thing. i have dreams of living in a cabin in the woods with nature and a dog but the reality of that is that that leaves me so much time to be alone in my thoughts id die within 3 months
0 likesPLEASE!! do a whole cover of that FUN song!!!
0 likesI just wanted to say I love the subtle Harry Potter reference at the end 😋❤️
0 likesYou sound like you're still very peturbed by your symptoms. How long have you had it now and is it episodes or constant? The mind heals when it heals its different for everyone so don't lose hope. I know when I dream I can remember the whole dream and even reference back to earlier parts, its just when I wake up I'll have a sudden thought and then boom - the memory of everything I've just dreamt is gone. Keep on keeping on :)
0 likesDODIE! I was literally in JFK one week before you sitting in the same area for a super long layover as well!!! IF ONLY I FLEW BACK LATERRRRR. That would have been boss to meet you. Whatever. I'm over it. (not really.)
0 likesOn the topic of running away, Rosianna made a really great video on this topic called 'The Fallacy of the Geographical Cure' and I would highly recommend it!
0 likesYou need to know that you are not JUST moving along in life, it almost seems that u don't realize how many lives you have connected with by talking about yours. I love you. -Lauren Y.
0 likeswhat you explain at 2:07 happens to me, but in real life, it's like someone presses a switch in my brain and just suddenly i feel like i'm inside some memory. it's weeeird
0 likeswhen dodie harmonizes with fun. while playing at jfk
0 likesI can feel your frustration at not feeling the way you want to. I can only say that it will get better eventually.
0 likesThe ending to this is wonderful, and I hope you enjoy D.C.! I live in DC, but I can't come to Playlist. Look out for the dinosaurs!
does anyone just feel this deep feeling in their chest when they're sad? I do, it's annoying. I want it gone.
0 likesDear Dodie Clark,
0 likesI do not feel embarassed when you talk about your mental health issues. They are many times very relatable to me. I will support you in your journey, to the extent in which I am capable to do so.
We love you Dodie! Feel free to be who you want to be, whatever that means....
Yours faithfully,
Bart de Haas (from The Netherlands)
Where did you get the frames for your glasses I'm obsessed ☺️
0 likesTip for anyone also attempting to rewire their brain Derren Brown's Happy: Why more or less everything is absolutely fine. It helped me so much.
0 likesthank u so much for talking about it it helps me soo much
0 likesI can relate soooo mutch because I am in a similar situaition. But I think I can fix it I hope so much that I can. Everything is better than staying in a situation that is unhealthy for me.
0 likesLove 💐🌼🌹
"Moving to America... becoming a hippie"
0 likesOh Dodie you're fantastic
I feel like youtube is a really hard job for people like us because you just spend so much time by yourself and you're held to such ridiculous standards, just being out and doing things always helps
0 likesHow can you travel so much. It's one of my anxieties I would have a melt down 😱💕x
0 likeswe love u dodie :^)
0 likes1. I thought Josh was drinking ketchup in the ending lol haha that'd be funnier than booze
0 likes2. I GOT THAT HARRY POTTER REFERENCE AYYEE Sept. 1 the first day at Hogwarts ayyeee
3. I'm so proud that you are starting to get to a place where you can be better. I hope that it all works out well for you in the end and I can't wait to see how happy you become.
Fun. is one of my favorite bands and I had a similar reaction to hearing it in this vlog. 😂
0 likesGod I love you and god I love josh, have fun travelling 💛
0 likesi hope you all the best, with rest, you'll come back with zest.
0 likesCan you do a ukelele collection video???? Love you 💕
0 likesOmg you're back !!! I missed you ❤️
0 likesuuuuh. my mom went on like a month long backpacking and hiking trip in peru to mentally heal around the time of sitc. i don't think it was a show though. but can you imagine if my mom met dodie?!
1 likeI also dream of running away... the irony is it's the struggle that makes me want to that also makes planning anything like that feel too big
0 likesI don't know what's happening to me.... A lot has changed in my life recently but now things have settled down and something has happened in my brain. I've forgotten who I am and what I enjoy doing and I don't really feel anything. I don't really talk to my family either, I just put on a smile and pretend to be happy for my friends. I've been rewatching all of dodies videos that used to make me cry or laugh or just feel things, but I still feel nothing. Its the weirdest thing: to not be really sad but still feel so dissconected and feel nothing all at the same time. I'm so lost.
0 likesi relate to this so much
0 likes@ everyone going through depersonalisation or not feeling real and panicking over it, I've been going through the same thing and I'm starting gcse's in 4 days. But someone replied to one of my comments a few weeks back (shoutout to that guy) and I started meditating. Like 3 minutes a day. If anyone's going through it seriously try and clear a bit of space in your mind. I thought meditating was bullshit but it's slowly helping me reconnect my mind with what's going on around me. Please, please try it. I was hopeless about two weeks ago but I think I'm going to be okay. Good luck to everyone suffering ily
0 likeslove u dodie 💛
0 likesi love you dodie 💛💛💛
1 likeI'm not trying to be negative, but I'm gunna tell you my experience with trying to rewire my brain. It's extremely easy to feel and if you play the right music, and have the right things around you, you think that you are going to succeed but it ends up getting extremely hard to keep up.
0 likesNice Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets reference at the end there 👌🏻 as for rewiring your brain tips... here are some tips I have. For one, I recently just made a lil list of all the things I tend to do when I'm feeling depressed and low. Basically like a list of "warning signs". This is good, because then when you spot your self doing these things, you'll know to practice healthy coping skills instead. This'll help you rewire, because you can catch yourself and stop doing the immediate gratification bad coping skill warning sign stuff, and rewire your response to do healthy things that have long term healthy effects. Journal, draw, sing, take a shower/bath, call a good friend, go for a walk/drive, listen to music, dance, exercise, cook, eat something healthy, or just sit and let yourself feel. Takes a lot of hard work and self control to pull yourself away from the immediately gratifying and comforting things, but eventually its habit forming and you'll find yourself doing the healthy stuff first. This may not solve everything, but it will make it easier and put you in a better place to solve other issues. ❤️ you Dodie!
0 likesDodies when you get to Australia look for beyond blue and headspace, they're really good for advice online, in real life and many other forms of communication. I personally use beyond blues knowledge pages so far to get me through because headspace costs money. But I know headspace has a hella nice looking app that could be very helpful. Hope this can help. xoxo
0 likesI actually liked this video and I related ™ a lot, good luck
0 likesHugs. We love you Dodie. X
0 likesI too dream of being a hippie, leaving all your problems and worries behind and living in the moment, constantly on the go. Learning and experiencing new things. At the moment my minds a scary place and the idea of just adventuring and being on the move sounds wonderful.
0 likesI have a question -- it might sound strange -- but when you add text to your videos, I'm assume you're fully aware that they're never on the screen long enough to be read? Lol do you want us to hit pause and read? Because I always do haha
0 likesFirstly It's fine you didn't fail! You didn't post every day but you took time for yourself so you could spend time with your family. I know what you mean about never feeling present and feeling like you're just plodding along. All last school year i felt like that, constantly looking forward to the holidays never appreciating what was in front of me. So much so that when the holidays did arrive they weren't as good as I expected. I spent most of my summer holidays looking forward to other things in the holidays like going camping or going to Sicily. Now the holidays are over and I realise how I just let a whole year go past barely appreciating any of it until it was over. Year 9 was supposed to be the last care free year before I started exams for the next 4 years of school but now it's over and I have nothing to look forward to except the next lot of holidays. However this year I'm really going to try and appreciate each day as it comes and not count down until the holidays. I'm going to start by doing little things like listing/writing down 1 good thing that happened each day and make sure if I can't think of anything then I'll do something that makes me smile/. Anyway I know no one will read this but I just needed to get the rant out and if dodie you are reading this (by some miracle) no you are not alone.
1 likeJust teach yourself to see everything as it is. Not darker. I've been there, and honestly, what helped me a lot was just thinking everything has a beautiful side to them, and then I'd work on seeing it. I started by collecting quotes, then watching the dusk and the dawn, then the stars, then going to the park and watching the birds flying and the trees dancing in the slow wind. I wetted my socks in the rain. Then I did confidence exercise in the mirror, calling myself a babe and bursting into tears because I was laughing. Life is shit usually, but there's always something that's worth getting better to see a brighter tomorrow if you dig deep enough. (I really hope you read this and get better, no one deserves feeling bad, especially you)
0 likesThat thing you mentioned about running away and throwing away your phone is so odd because I just finished writing a song about someone who just decided to leave everything but their car keys and wallet and ran away without a word... I totally get what you mean tho
0 likesdodie you should totally do a cover of some nights!
0 likesI have these times where I feel like I'm Scrooge in a Christmas carol; Looking into a world without me in if that makes sense?... I feel so alone and crappy
0 likesI'm starting CBT soon because I've been having counselling for months and it's not working. I'm so nervous for it just like I was before counselling even though it actually helped me get a long way it's not just getting me any better and that's why I'm gonna have CBT. I hope that it will work and I hope that it will work for you too.
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Erin Horne Good luck!! I wish you the best.
0 likesRose Buddy thanks!!
0 likesTry to spend as much time as possible with the people who love and support you, the ones that make you feel safe and content. Do the things that make you happiest, but don't force yourself to enjoy them. Listen to your favourite music; notice all the little things in life, like how the stars shine and birds sing. And try to get rid of the things / people that make you unhappy or stressed. Hope you feel better soon 💙
0 likesHellu I'm just a person who you don't know, but...Dodie you are incredibly motivated and willing to push yourself to your limit if it means acheiving your goals: YouTube, EPs, a book for heavens sake! And because your mental health is something you desire to overcome and conquer, I believe you will, because that's just who you are. You're not stuck, you're strong. You're smart. You're sassy. You are a light to others even in your darkest moments. Good luck with the next month of insanity ✌❤
0 likesI died when I read the end that said ' so I'll probably be in my room makingnonoiseandpretendingthatIdon't exist' I love Harry Potter references
0 likesI was in a pretty dark place last year - I was working too many shifts at a job I despised, I was absolutely hating learning to drive (still hate driving but I can do it now) and I was stressed about my exams and my huge looming future that I still don't know what to do with. I went on this family holiday to New York, and I expected it to solve all my problems. I needed a break, and I wanted to forget all my stress. But I didn't, I just took my issues with me and thought about what my future would be after the holiday. So I think the key to solving your problems, is to accept that they are there, and try to cope with them the best that you can.
0 likesI was thinking about when you say that you haven't been the same since you were 17, and I think I can relate. I've always been an anxious individual for reasons I'm not to be blamed for, but when I was about 15, I had this huge anxious episode and ever since, I've been more aware of my anxiety and it's been more pronounced since then. I think I've accepted it now I'm 19, that I probably won't be as content as I was before my anxiety hit me properly, but that's okay. I can deal with it when it comes and goes, and I'm not so tired of it. It still affects me, and sometimes I wish I could go back, but I just can't go back and one day maybe it will all be alright.
I know it's probably a rare experience with what helped my brain? I'm not one of those people that doesn't go to doctors when I get sick, and depression/suicidal thoughts daily wasn't any different.. but nothing seemed to work AT ALL. Then one day I went into my doctor for migraines, and she told me to try some B-2 vitamins and magnesium before putting me on actual suppressants. WITHIN A WEEK my migraines were no longer a 3-5 day ordeal, and HOLY GOODNESS MY BRAIN STARTED IMPROVING. It's been about 4-5 months since I started this, and I can't say I have depression anymore... maybe it's a placebo? Idk? But if nothing seems to help you could try this (I mean it's probably a bit cheaper and you don't need a prescription). Again, I'm not one of the people who thinks that regular medicine is evil, and I'm really all for going to doctors and therapy and that stuff, but if you don't have access/would like to try something else, vitamins really worked for me :)
0 likesdodie im very very happy you haven't stopped talking about mental health after your oversharing video, i thought you may feel apprehensive to talk about it at all. but i feel it's a great thing to normalise it :)))
0 likesWell dodie, my main issue is anxiety, so imma relate everything back to that.
0 likesBut it helps me to remember that your body doesn't react because you feel a thing, you feel a thing because of how you've reacted. For example, that jumpy feeling isn't because you are scared, you get that jumpy feeling (fight or flight lol) and your brain notices it and is like 'oh we should be scared let's do that'.
So if you feel anxious, don't be like 'man my heart is beating so fast because I'm anxious', instead try thinking 'I'm anxious because my heart is beating fast and I'm having hot sweats' then try and combat those things, do things that slow your heart rate, control your breathing, drink some cold water, put a fan on yourself, EAT SOMETHING, HEALTHY, SUBSTANCE.
This can really help me but it'll never be a quick fix, but you'll get there and look back in however long and be v proud of yourself, I know I'm proud of you.
All my love and best wishes xxxx
aw i missed ur vids dodie (it hasn't even been that long woops) and i hate how your men's to health is and i wish i could help :( *hugs*💛
0 likesWhere did you get your glasses? they are so cute! Btw love your videos!
0 likesI had years of just plodding along. Some kind of metal sleep of just day to day routine, work stress, anxious about all the what ifs of the future, some life goals that got manipulated into my head with these arbitrary age dates (like at this age such n such, etc). As all that was going on I had my music and my martial arts as coping and growth parts of my life that I felt like I could control. That was a lot of my 20s. Getting bogged down, tune out, head down and work. Just make it to the next week. I did have some moments of clarity and "I need to go do this!". I had waves of depression that I eventually figured out and coped by going to Disneyland. I'm probably going to talk about it in my VEDS in a few weeks. Just getting myself out of the house and to a very familiar place that has a nostalgia factor but still I'm around a lot of people who were generally in a good mood. I might need to go see a therapist, but with everything that's happened to me in the last two years things have changed drastically for the better. Good luck with your CBT. Disneyland will still be there when you visit again.
0 likesHello!! First of all, have fun in DC (it's where I live :D) and if you want, there's a little town-ish thing called Westover about 15-30 minutes outside DC (by car) that's great for dinner and a short walk (Lost Dog is the place to go for dinner). About brain stuff: have you heard of EMDR therapy? I don't know much about it but I believe it quite literally rewires the brain through motion (not surgery, it's external)? I think? Not entirely sure but it might be worth looking up :D I hope you feel better soon!!
0 likesI have OCD and psychosis, I am constantly preoccupied with my obsessions and never feel content or 'present' I constantly have an overwhelming feeling of worry and dread and panic, and the fact i can never feel content in the moment causes me to become seriously depressed, it's so frustrating and annoying, people who don't suffer from mental illness honestly don't know how lucky they are.
0 likesPart of my sadness circle is constantly thinking that any other person in the same situation as me would get something out of it that I'm not, go in a direction I can't go in, have that life changing epiphany during important life changes. I just stand there and think it's not happening and for someone else it would be. I don't even know if this makes sense.
0 likesNice little video, this was weirdly refreshing to watch lol idk how
0 likesI love the clicky thing at the start 💗
0 likesOK! I have a suggestion for something that might be worth trying out! Hypnotherapy! I had a couple mental issues and hypnotherapy has helped me SO MUCH. Basically, it's where you get put into hypnosis (the most relaxing comforting warm feeling by the way) and the therapist just sorts things out with your subconscious mind. They can help you reprogram your brain like you were saying you wanted. At least give it a look sometime... I wish you the best of luck on your journey dodie <3
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Update: I did some research and apparently hypnotherapy is super good for depersonalization! It also can help you find the true root of your disorder. Highly suggest
0 likesooh!interesting! thank you!! :)
0 likesof course!! maybe try it out and see if it's right for you <3
0 likesI feel exactly the same way
0 likesThat was my Jam back in the day. We need more fun....
0 likesI LOVE DODIES SILLY FACES
0 likesthat Harry Potter reference at the end though😏 We love u Dodie
0 likesTake courage ❤
0 likesOh well don't mind me or my comment that's gonna be lost in this section, but I'm currently crying because you mentioned Peru, my country and then you said you wouldn't accept climbing the mountain. I actually had a minimum hope for meeting you and now it's gone again. I still love you and your music and videos 💛💛💛
0 likesI keep meaning to read Rewire your Anxious Brain by Catherine m pitman but my apathy keeps getting in the way. It comes strongly recommended.
0 likesfirst off,,, happy thougts?
0 likessecond, i love you, and you deserve to be happy. ever since i was fourteen, maybe even earlier, i've been dipping into and out of these large chunks of my life where i just fall into nothing. there are always things that drive me into these holes. at fourteen, it was hating myself and my body because somebody had convinced me that i was too fat to be beautiful. this insecurity and fear of never being loved followed me for years, and still does now. between the ages of fifteen to about last year, it was that. any boy who approached me, any suggestion of a romantic relationship, i'd push away aggressively. i was terrified they'd grow tired, realize i wasn't worth their love, and reject me. so i would reject them first. now, it's abusive friendships/non-romantic relationships that have been consuming me. i won't go into it, but it's been different every time; emotional abuse, physical abuse. i've been literally told i wasn't good enough, time and time again.
but i'm growing through it. i'm figuring it out. every time, i have to remind myself that. i love myself and i deserve to be happy.
I know cbt didn't work for me but I really hope it works for you, I'm still trying this new medication I know I'm not great , but at least I want to improve and so I hope you can too
0 likesI hope that CBT goes well for you Dodie. Unfortunately I don't have much advice since I've been depressed for five years (so nothing's really worked lol), but taking part in brain exercises and actual physical exercise helps me a lot with being calmer and thinking more clearly (it is basic stuff, but honestly it made so much of a difference that I was shocked).
0 likesYou need to listen to, "Hello My Old Heart" by The Oh Hellos. It's so beautiful and you should do a cover of it. I guarantee you'll cry the first time you'll hear it.
0 likesGetting pretty excited for the first Australian VidCon! 😊
0 likesI had this week somewhere this summer idk when but I felt really happy and not anxious and Just content it was good I struggle with depressive periods but my main problem is overwhelming anxiety both in social situations and just in general and it felt so weird after all these years (like 2 and half not like 12 years) to just finally feel okay at first I was worried why I was acting so different why I had so much hope and my mind was clear ans j felt like I could positively take on the world and live my dreams then I realized that's me I'm not sarcastic or cynical or mean that's the mental me the one taken over my anxiety and sadness after that I wondered what ever happened to the shy but happy girl who wanted to be a cheerleader and do 100% in school always I miss it but I didn't realize till then but it gave me hope to carry on ans get better and you dodie can do a great job to make me smile and be happy for just a second and I hope that you get better and you can be happy and content in life
0 likesCute ending <3
0 likeswhile watching some of your videos and you talk about how you’ve been, i wrote about he i felt of a day to day bases. i know you probably won’t read this or whatever. it’s too long. but i jut want to get it out there.
0 likeshow i feel day to day:
i don’t feel the numb everyone thinks depression. the informais numb. i can never say how i feel. i feel gone s lot. it sounds stupid. when bad things happen i put myself in my own head, i feel not where ever i may be at the time. i feel not me. that’s so weird. it’s hard to answer question. even the general like, what’d you do yesterday. i don’t remember what i learn in school non of it. maybe it’s because i’m stupid or because i’m not here. i motion though life without ever thinking about it. i wish i had a name for it.
i also go though huge mood drops. but everyone says that’s what happens when you’re a teen (my drops range from feeling awesome and great like i could do anything to feeling like i don’t want to live anymore).
back to my emotional state, there’s nothing there but there’s still something my stomach turns my head aches and burns my throat feels half closed, always. i get scared so easily if you simply raise a hand i flinch and kids at school think it’s weak.
i just kind of exist. but existing and living are different things. sometimes it’s like i’m watching a movie of my life. it it isn’t my life it’s it my body and someone elses voice in someone else’s clothes. i feel like not me ever.
i don’t know if you (as in anyone) got that or if you read it. if you did thanks. im sorry and thanks again.
Dodie, if you want to try grounding yourself. try to notice five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste [even if its just your tongue] its helps with my anxiety, but not sure of its effect on depersonalization...much love :D
0 likesHas Dodie announced the dates for her book tour yet? I can't seem to find it anywhere
0 likesWhen I watch your videos i just want to scream "POOOND!! AMYY PONNNNND!!"
0 likesNot sure if dodie will see this but oh well: I used to get some really mild depersonalization (or something similar) when I was really struggling with anxiety, and one of the things that I found helped me was meditation/visualization. Meditation can be hard to get in to- just sitting in silence and 'concentrating on your breathing' never worked for me because I just could not stop all of my thoughts, but guided meditation and visualization pretty much walks you through different scenes. It'll describe like a forest, and talk about what you hear, how the grass feels under your feet, etc., and I found myself able to stop thinking and just focus on what I was visualizing. Then when the mediation ended I would feel a lot more grounded and content. It's not a permanent fix but it can help during those days where you just feel frozen and don't know what to do.
0 likesMan, your life sounds so totally epic
0 likesI love when Manger Josh is in your videos!
0 likesi like to run away in my head. it's a shame when i realise it's a false reality
0 likesOk now I really wanna hear a full cover of Some Nights
0 likesi dont really know if this will help but i will say that like the many thousands of fans and human beings behind you, we can relate. at least i can. i was in a mental state of mind where i could not get hope to shine into my brain. it was hard and when i tried it just made me feel worse and sucked in more and more exhaustion because of the fact that i tried too hard. dodie, you seem like the type of person who in certain if not most situations depend on the words of yourself to help and comfort you. sure like the billions of people out there, you turn to your friends for support and comfort. just like i did. but you don't believe anything until you say it and prove it to yourself. that is the same for me. i need my words to help me. so i suggest maybe telling yourself over and over that you are in control. dont let the illnesses take control over your beautiful body. take back that control dodie cause in the end you've got this. you make the decisions in the end and sure regrets will come but take your happiness back. your happiness is inside of you, waiting to be discovered. it was always there. it's a human emotion just tucked away. but you can get it back. i hope i helped but heckle you probably aren't reading this lol. but i hope someone does and i hope helped. :)
0 likesI'll start this comment saying that I'm one of the lucky few people that have gotten over their depression and anxiety at an early age. I'm only 17 and I'm going to do my best to share my secret with anyone that has troubles not just dodie. The only important backstory I'll bore you with is that I've had a pretty shit upbringing and I barely had a childhood as I've had to mature quickly to survive my family and the people around me, which lead to some problems such as anxiety and depression and even some extreme psychotic episodes that i thought for a bit were schizophrenia which thank god it wasn't. What i found that worked is to do your best to focus on the good part of any given situation no matter how hard it may be or how bad you feel. Doing the best you can do in any situation and knowing you're doing your best and giving your all usually helps with feeling like you're accomplishing something so you feel less bad about yourself. Find people to add into your life that are extremely positive just about all the time, people that don't have many or any issues at all as simply being around people like that will lift your mood and help with your mental state, the people you hang around with have a huge impact on how you think and if it's any credit I'm taking a psychology class as well as having had to learn how people think to survive where i am.
0 likesTL;DR and bonus Honestly just find some happy friends, don't worry about negative feelings and try to keep positive no matter how hard because life is tough and you have to be tougher and always do your best with everything you do. Always remember that life gets better and you need to keep drilling it into your head that it gets better because it really does. Don't let yourself stay low and down, you have a life to live and nothing can stop you from living it.
do have any tips on dealing with panic? Not attacks but just in general, I listen to Dodie's music a lot and that helps a TON, but unfortunately can't listen to it 24/7 :(
0 likesI find that I get into my own head a lot. I'm always thinking of this quintessential version of myself and my life and I find that makes me quite unhappy with my present. So I try to make myself be more present. I use mindfulness. I'm currently reading The Little Book of Mindfulness by Dr Patrizia Collard. I carry it around as a reminder to stop myself from thinking about anything that isn't what is currently happening. I focus on what my senses are feeling when I begin to feel detatched. But it's a process, and a hard one at that. I hope anyone else who is feeling this way can find something that helps them.
0 likesThe harry potter quote at the end! Perfect timing as today is the "19 years later" And "all was well."
0 likesi wish i could just take everyone's problems away. it's shit knowing i can't do anything to help :(
0 likesi'm so SICK of being mentally sick and i just want to feel normal again, but i have no clue what normal feels like and it's just so much easier to stay in this state of depression and anxiety and ocd and depersonalisation, because the feeling of normal is unknown and i'm terrified of the unknown
0 likesI hope one day you can say you're okay, and mean it.
0 likesAhhhhh that thumbnail is just so PERFECT
0 likesneuro plasticity is a thing :) (that means yes to a certain extent people can rewire their brains) but it'll be the hardest thing you'll ever do. I'm suffering from very mean/dramatic/destructive intrusive thoughts and I genuinely don't know how to deal with it, because "shushing them away" feels a lot like repressing them and that's not good
0 likesgetting off twitter completely helps so much its literally an evil machine
0 likesHI DODIE I REALLY LOVE YOU YOU ARE THE REASON I WANT A UKULELE AND I CUT MY HAIR SHORT BECAUSE YOU GAVE THE IDEA THAT I CAN STILL DO EIGHTISH THINGS TO MY SHORT HAIR I LOVE YOU OKAY BYE
1 likeSomething i learned from mother is that a lot more important things happen in our unconciousnes than reality.Dreams can say something about you that you are not yet realising.So maybe if you find some meaning in what has happend in your unconciousnes,that can help you realise how to fix it.Sometimes we do things(bad and good)unconciously that make differences in our lives.Also,what helps me in staying present is just trying to forget the past and not worry about the future and pick the things that make me happy now.Also breathing.Very deeply.Or thinking about the things that seem timeless(dont have to do with present or the future).Hope it helps!(also sorry if i misspelled something):)
0 likesYeah i feel the need to escape sometimes. Funny that you said you want to run away to America cause I want to run away to Europe. I guess just no matter where we grew up we want to get out. for like a short moment i want to be home though because i went on a "vacation" as well and got pretty homesick (and realizing that my city is pretty cool compared to a lot of places). But my real problem is comparing my mental state to wherever I am when I know that it's an internal problem, not an exterior. But I blame my habitat when I know that I actually will have depression no matter where I am. So that's probably the main thing I should work on.
0 likesI mean it worked prett well for ed sheeran. Dodie, after your book tour is done, if you feel like the best thing for you would be to take an extensive break, we promise we'll be here when you come back. <3
0 likesHi Dodie. I'm interested in the comment about mindfulness in the description. Mindfulness is a state of mind that cannot be attained, only accessed. It is something that is already within you and perhaps (?) the feeling of dissociation is due to you seeing that state as something other than yourself that needs to be reached. Really it's about a switch of awareness. I've watched your videos for many years now and had some similar struggles. I'm sorry you have to endure such dissociation and disorder. I have found a real presence and awareness over the years that has grounded me in the midst of all feelings of dissociation (which still occur, but are no longer a source of disparity or inconvenience). You seem to be an extremely dynamic and tender person and I truly hope you find peace within you and that it will provide guidance to your life. I wish I could talk to you about this but I doubt that will ever happen so I'm hoping this comment will reach you and reassure you that what you are looking for is already inside you and it's not so much about rewiring your brain as it is about gaining awareness and shifting your mental presence. It's not easy when your brain was not wired to cope with man made life, however it is completely natural and when things do shift for you, you'll realise how special you are to be so instinctively connected to some very real things that have been lost from the grasp of the people who seem to be living a happy and easy life. Xx
0 likesFor rewiring your brain its just constant practice. Practice your happy thoughts. Practice grounding yourself. Practice Practice Practice. You literally have to forge new pathways in your brain then they will become automatic! :) Allso i would strongly recommend trying as hard as you can to not think about the future. In my experience, i would think so much about future events and focus on how amazing they would be, and in the end it just made me way more anxious and let down. So now, I only ever let myself think about hypothetical situations. If it has any amount of reality in it, i try to not think about it. Which is super hard, i just hope you see this and it helps you a little bit Dodie. Also keep persevering with finding a good therapist! Im so glad you havent given up.
0 likesBut ayo this video made me realise just how depressed i was a couple months ago. I always felt like since i wasnt suicidal it wasnt quite that bad. But oh man i so regularly wanted to just disappear. Move to another country, leave everything behind and start a new life. But one day my counselling just clicked, and now school doesnt make me want to cry and i cant even remember the last time i had a breakdown. Im still constantly making sure my brain is thinking in the right way, but im far happier now. To anyone who reads this, youll be okay <3
I know dodie won't see this! But CBT is tough and it works but you have to really try! Life changes and stuff. It's the same with medication. It doesn't fix it straight away but it helps. ❤️ I hope she feels better soon. I've been there and it fuckin sucks. Lots of love
0 likesCBT is a wonderful form of therapy, another solution if you feel like it isn't a good fit is DBT, it's a little bit similar but it covers so many different aspects of what effects our mental health. I have depersonalization and derealization as well as a few other diagnoses and DBT saved my life. I'm on the path to a life worth living and I've never felt more hopeful. I would suggest researching it!
0 likesYOU SHOULD DO A COVER OF SOME NIGHTS I LOVE THAT SONG
0 likesi moved to Canada for a year and over-romanticised it as this big year of escaping and then when i got there i was happy but also MISERABLE so i totally get it. wherever you go, there you are!
0 likesYah, throw that fear on replace it with a courage!
1 likeDodie is literal visual therapy. She is so therapeutic.
0 likesi adore manager josh. He seems like a great friend for Dodie.
0 likesYou behavior and emotions relay strongly on the well rooted schemes in your brain. Those schemes are sometimes logical and have a "normal" feedback - i.e. your mum hugs you - you feel safe and secure and loved, just an example, if indeed during most of your life you felt that way when your mum hugs you. There is a pattern in your brain that goes from hug + mum = nice feels. These schemes also exist for situations that are risky, dangerous or what have you. But, sometimes these schemes we kinda makes ourselves trough life, are not the most "healthy" ones. For example, mine goes like this: airplanes - death = panic. I have so many times gone down this lane that it became a pattern in my brain, and now it is very difficult for me to not go straight into that sort of mindset that results in an anxiety attack. But, I became aware of the "non healthy" pattern that makes me feel in a way I do not like, and what I do now, is practice new brain patterns that can help my brain literally rewire itself. Airplane - very safe means of transport, takes you places you like, you like traveling i.e. plane is good. Something like that. You can write those things out and then make a conscious effort to thing about the new, positive patterns. It takes time and effort, but it really does help.
0 likesFor people in 8th and 9th grade suffering with depression and anxiety because of school. Don't give up. I thought id never get out of my mental illness but now I'm im a new school and everything is so much better, my depression is almost gone and my anxiety has way less power over me. I'd also advice you to go to art school or take drama classes or something, just something that makes you happy. Because even though it might not be beneficial to your future job or shit like that, it will make high school so much more fun and endurable. And tbh if you have a mental illness, that is priority number one. Follow your heart
0 likesdodie you help me so much
0 likesI hope you had a nice fligt. I'm sending you all of the happy thougts thoug.
0 likesyou will feel happy some day I promise
0 likesI managed to get there while I was scuba diving in Guam back in the 80s.Might be worth the trip if you can find the time to get dive certified. It's a magical kind of floating suspended neutrally buoyant in the water only rising and falling a little with your breath while looking at the reef life that looks like mountain vistas. It's very close to Satori, a Zen state of mind, where you aren't thinking. You are just kind of experiencing the world as it is without making mental comments on what is going on around you. Hugs my friend. I am confident you will find our way through this part of life to the you you want to be.
0 likesMeditation is a good way to be more in the present ^^
0 likesdodie! i'm the one who go the tattoo you drew at sitc. i'm going to be in australia for vidcon. i'd love to sit and have a chat with you or maybe treat you to a massage (by a professional definitely not by me lol) when i'm there. if you need a friend while you're there, i'd love to hang! Maybe some of my past can shed a light on some of your future. 😜
0 likesI'm really hoping that you get the help you need, because I know that not being able to feel happy is annoying, and I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. (On a non-serious, but semi-related note, is the word 'thoughts' on your sign behind you purposefully misspelled?)
0 likesI very much appreciate the Harry Potter quote inserted at the end of this video
0 likesWhat's your drink, Dodie? Also, when the hero in a film runs away, it always fails. You can never really run away, but you can chase your dreams.
0 likesReally for me it was a question of bringing myself back from the brink and then just...time. One day, I think it was a few days before my birthday back in March, I woke up and I like, wasn't sad??? And then it was a consistent thing??? Idk it's really weird and I still don't like to go out much or interact with people but it's better than it was
1 likeHi Dodie, I'm soooo excited for Vidcon Australia!! I just wanted to know (if you see this comment) will you be selling your merch??
0 likesHiya dodie I was wondering when are the book tour dates arriving xx
0 likeshi so i know this has nothing to do with the video but i need advice and i feel safe on dodie's channel 🌈 so; i am in the process of figuring my sexuality out, and i really do believe i'm gay, based on what i've experienced so far, and it's on my mind 24/7, like ALL THE TIME and i really want to talk to people about it and come out to the people i love. the problem is, i don't feel like i've experienced enough to be able to say i'm a homosexual, and i don't know if people will take me seriously... and i really WANT to tell people, i can't get it off my mind, but how can i know for sure? i'm only 16, how can i know that i won't end up liking guys too and being bi? i know you'll say i should just wait but i can't! this is freaking me out and consuming all my time!
0 likesthanks for reading, i'd appreciate some advice :)
1:15
0 likesDodies's like UHUUU T^T
Evan's like hahahaha it's okay it's okay
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:'''''')
0 likesHappy thougts...I love it😂❤️
0 likeswhen i'm mental, everything feels like this is the worst, i feel like this is the worst moment of my life and anything will be better. so i relate a lot when you say that you want to run away because you're not happy now so you must be when you're somewhere else therefore you glorify everywhere else because where you are is shit. unfortunately the badness is in you and you can't run away from it. i wish i could. however, i've been trying mediating, it reminds that it doesn't matter where i am, when i'm mental i will always be mental, but in my happy moments or when i'm mediating, that won't leave me either
0 likesBeen feelin shit but my yellow converse came in the mail today happiness has returned for a bit
0 likesTo become more positive, watch "To The Bone" on Netlfix. The end of the movie made me happy to be alive. It's a wonderful movie plz watch.
0 likessomeday you will see this and think about how things change and you will say "it gets better" to people that won't believe you. I am the one to tell you that right now, hoping for you to believe me. I hope you will have fun as early as possible xx
0 likesI suggest watching Studio Ghibli films, reading books, listening to calm but upbeat songs, and just looking at the world around you. Look at how the light plays on the trees and buildings and ground, look at the clouds and the sky and the tops of the trees, look at what is present and real and solid in your life. Pay attention to the good things you cannot doubt like the taste of good food, the feeling of comfortable clothes and nice weather, the sight of beautiful landscapes and friends' faces, the smells of fresh grass and fresh food and new people and familiar places. Just pay attention to the now and the world and comfortable art. Find things that will make you feel and accept those feelings, no matter what they are. Accept those feelings and move forwards.
0 likesthis was good. <3
0 likesdodie, i want to talk to you about your video on over-sharing - because i think you didn't overshare. i think we - as a society - overengage... and that's the problem. the problem is NOT talking about mental health "too much" - it's over-engaging in it too much that's the issue (and that's not you, that's society).
0 likesIf anyone knows where dodie got her glasses from i would be forever grateful xx
0 likesdodie, who lives in london: i want to run away and move to america
0 likesme, an american: i want to run away and move to london
im not sure if you have tried these or not but here are some suggestions that make me feel at peace:
0 likes- meditaion (maybe at a beach or park)
- taking a walk without headphones and maybe just a friend or two
- taking a hike and listening to the birds
- going to a animal shelter and patting the cats
Ahhh yeahss, the allure of the Geographical Cure. Been there - didn't work 😧 Whereever you are that's where you are, so unless you turn to drug misuse I feel its rather hard to take a holiday from your thought patterns.
0 likesI really really struggle with this every day. But at 40 I wonder if this is just being human?
I hope CBT helps. I find John Green helps me - Vlogbrothers Thoughts from Places.
Can't wait to see you at VidCon Australia - I hope you are not lonely during your time in Melbourne.
if you ever need a place to run away to (bc god have i felt that exact way before) know you've got a friend in Baton Rouge Louisiana (though idk how entertaining it would actually be lol)
0 likesDodie, I really don't think that there's a fix because you're not broken. There is improvement though
0 likesI really hope you'll get better! this hp reference though 👌
0 likesWelp. Here's some advice(I'm sorry if it's shitty): When your in that mind state you kinda start to give up and push off every idea to be....Happy. The thing is you can't force yourself to be happy as you know but letting yourself doing small experiences(Not climbing a mountain dodie:p). Just going some place you haven't gone before, like all the places you listed. I don't know😂
0 likesHonestly I just need some music and a view to feel a bit better. Welp Welp welp. Bye dodie that probably won't see this
hey dodie,
0 likesi'm doing neurofeedback which is a direct training of brain function. they apply electrodes to your head and you basically just watch a movie and your brain functionality gets a little better every time you do it.
it helped me a bit cause my depression hasn't been very deep for a while. so maybe you should try it out?
also i'm not very good at explaining how it works and what it does so i'd recommend to look it up on the internet. (:
You guys reacting to FUN. playing is pretty much me every day listening to that stupid band. The "hiatus" has been awful btw.
0 likesIt's so nice to know I'm not alone. I've recently found a mental help app. It's called "What's up? - A mental health app". its been very helpful for me lately. But always remember that you have people you can talk to and that you aren't alone. I often forget that and it makes it so much harder. Keep your head up and press on, even through the hard times. It's worth it. Even if you don't see it getting better, push though because life is a beautiful thing. 💛
0 likessometimes I thrive to feel not present, most of the time I feel way too here. I overthink too much.
0 likesI'm starting anxiety therapy soon and I don't know what to do.
I hope you have a good time in DC. It's my home, and I hope you feel comfortable and welcome and alive.
0 likesI know this is a REALLY personal question so I wouldn't be surprised if my comment wasn't acknowledged but I'm just curious if you have ever suffered from any form of self harm? And maybe if you could do a video about it) if you're comfortable with talking about it)❤
0 likeshonestly ive been doing pretty bad myself, but not particularly on the depersonalisation front. im extremely fickle these days, and i think its some kind of coping mechanism. like, i'll have this utterly bad ansiety/panic attack or like a really bad freak/breakdown thatll last a couple hours and ill feel very intensely within my own head and then, when ive gotten rid of all the extra chemichals thatve made me lost it, i'll just feel drained the whole freaking day. better, but EXTREMELY not there. just out of energy, but also completely forgotten how it was that this thing made me feel the way it did or how it felt. its like... depersonalisation from my mind as well, which is weird. feels like its tuning out stuff, which it probably is, to make me better.
0 likeshowever, ive been getting little moments every once in a while. i'll be sitting on the bus, coming back from model un at 7 pm, lights on in buenos aires, people talking all around me and feeling sleepy, and suddenly i can see the colors pop out and feel the warmth and the texture of my clothes and really /hear/ what everyone's saying. or i'll be sitting on my schools grass area, the sun going down, summer breeze coming through and i can feel IT and i can feel THINGS and i dont care bout my skirt tracing the shape of my big stomach roll or my thigs coming out.
the most recent one was like two weeks ago walking round a forest covered in snow at night, coming back from an activity from a trip we take as a school group (its tradition, dont think about it). id never flown, never gotten out of my city really, never gone on a trip with friends, never partied as much and never seen snow before that and then it had happened. to me. i was there, and i felt so extremely happy and content and just not as hollow and i didnt even care that no one talked to me and i dont know. it lasted for about fifteen minutes, but i can remember it so well. oh god.
i guess what im trying to say is... the good comes with the bad or something. itll get better and itll get worse. you'll feel there but the depression can get worse cause of that. i dunno if it gets better, but it progresses. hope i made sense.
Dodie pleeeease do a cover of some nights!!! Like acapella
0 likesI have a million tips for how to deal with it, fix it, whatever. I don't know what will work for you, though. That's a process, that takes time and a chance to get to know the person who needs them deeper. I watch these and I wish I could.
0 likesI guess, if I had one somewhat catch-all tip, it's to do something different. Whatever you've done isn't working, and don't just do what other people tell you is right. If you're not hurting anyone, do what you need or want to do to be a better you, even if everyone else thinks it's stupid, strange, or uncomfortable.
One of the most liberating things I've ever done is accept, and then learn to love the broken bits. Learn to take things other people think is wrong and make them my happiness.
are the dates for the book tour released yet?
0 likes"and then i'll be in australia for vidcon" just that little tiny statement hurts fuuuck i'm going to be in melbourne the day vidcon starts but my plane leaves earlier on in the day i want to cry
0 likesis i just me or is her voice so calming
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is it*
0 likesWow that sounds like so much travelling holy shit. I don't know how well you deal with DPD when you're travelling but maybe your brain rewired itself for a little bit when you were on holiday because you actually decided to go like, "okay, im going to not focus on my life back home and actually take a break" so you like didn't have anything to worry about in the moment?? and maybe that made your brain go like aight she's finally letting go a little let's adapt to that for a lil while.
0 likesIdk man, I so desperately want to rewire my brain. It's so fucked up to the extent depression and anxiety rule my life, I don't even know who I am anymore because they're all so intertwined (plugplugplug buy on itunes listen on spotify) together. I hope keeping yourself busy with travelling and touring helps Dodiee. We miss you, love from Bangladesh
I think its difficultly to flip that little light switch in your brain that wishes you could live now and here. Personally I try it all the time, I want to live now and here and have hopes for the future and not dwell on the past; but its hard. Its hard when all of what your past is what makes you the person you are today. However, it is possible. I dwell on my two best friends that help me go through life, I dwell on my older sister and her college life, I dwell on my parents and how at times they are annoying they're the best parents I could've wished for. It's the little things, like the fact that no matter what I can still look back and sing Would You Be So Kind and think of my crush that ignores me. Maybe even the fact I know what song will go off at 8:20 in the morning to go off to my Film Studies class. Its the fact I can look at my cat and smile when she looks at me annoyed. So despite worrying for my future which is catching up to me I think of here and now. You and all the things around you, I think, in a sense I've pinned all my hope on you dodie. And I don't want to sound alarming of any kind but I've pinned my dreams and hopes and all my love on you. Which is weird I guess. But its something that helps me get by, and I thank you for that. So yes, you can switch that light switch and you can rewire your brain because I know you can. I know you can and will always get through this. 💛 ~ geena
0 likesDodie and manager Josh should do a cover of the song they were singing
0 likeshearing that song at the end gave me so much nostalgia aww
0 likesalso why are you going to be in LA? any chance you'd like to go to Disneyland?
I had cbt for bpd and it was shit lol I hope it works for u honestly just don't get ur hopes up cause that sucks when u get let down
0 likesbrain re-wiring tips - its a meditation app called Headspace! It's so lovely and Ive been using it loads. It's free, but if you pay for a subscription you get a bunch of extra stuff (like a meditation pack for depression, anxiety, loneliness, lots and lots of stuff). Might be worth a try!!
0 likesI applied through the NHS for CBT and after waiting for months on the waiting list I got an appointment
0 likesBut I'm moving away to uni so I can't even have it now great
Dodie I love your videos, and all of the art you make, but I sometimes feel worried that you do so many things and go to so many places for your fans that you don't allow your self time for full self care. I was actually a bit relieved that you didn't finish VEDA. I am really sorry that it didn't quite help like you thought it would, but still in the future if you need to take a couple weeks off I hope I speak for all of your lovely viewers when I saw PLEASE DO. Of course you know yourself best I just feel like sometimes it can help to have others encourage self care.
0 likesDODIE CLARK EXPLAINS : HER PERCEPTION OF REALITY AND/OR THE UNIVERSE
0 likesbut seriously, that would be such a cool concept for veda or any other thing :)
i watched this in class, but am now commenting. also, my teacher now likes dodie lmao <3
0 likesMy depression it's not diagnosed, I've never went to see a doctor for it and i haven't told anybody, but it's 2 years since i started to feel this way and by now i'm sure something is definitively wrong with me. I won't tell you all my struggles, but i want to ask. How to tell somebody? Or how else i am supposed to start fixing myself?
0 likesi realized I'm am lowkey a hippie, I'm taking a break from social media, metal music (that sometimes makes me anxious) and some friends and been listening to woodstock 69 soundtrack religiously and I feel GREAT
0 likes"Fun" reminds me of that girl singing that song in her kitchen and her mum walks in a starts beat boxing and dancing 😂😂😂
0 likeshey dodie, so i have a small problem.
0 likesits my most important year in school and my friends they're being so bitchy about the entire situation. i dont whether its about competiton or something but they clearly hate me at the moments.
lets name my friends a, b and c. so basically, a is going around telling the rest of my entire gang to stay away from me. she feels that i become mentally close with a person and just when they start spilling secrets i run away and dump them. she thinks im a bitch. she liked degrading me in anyway possible. then there's b. this guy's friendship with me has always had its own faults. so now c is a person who im uncomfortable with and dislike her alot. now b has been my childhood friend for about 9 years now and c has just become his friend not less than a year ago. c fills in all these bad things about me to him and makes up random stories. he believes her for some reason. so now b and i had this huge fight and now he chose her over me. im devastated dods. i really dont know what to do . i cant concentrate at all and its annoying the hell out of me. if you could help, it'll be really nice.
with love,
a common girl with common problems.
You know what you say about the past in When ? Well I feel the same but about the future. The past was ehh for me and the present pretty much sucks, I can't do much because of my crippling anxiety, so the only comfort I find is in my future. Except the future I fantasize about needs to be planned *now*, and I can't do it bc of my anxiety. So idk what to do. I guess I'll just fantasize about the future until I don't have one anymore?
0 likesOh my gosh!! I'm from Peru!! You should still go just to visit. No need for the dangerous stuff. There is so much to see, so beautiful
0 likesThat Harry Potter reference at the end got everyone quaking
0 likesDodie can you help me, I'm going to school in a few days and I'm dreading it. My brain keeps telling me to disconnect from my friends and I keep imagining just leaving them all and being on my own. But then i feel really depressed and lonely and I'm so confused and I hate school.
0 likesRecommendation: I think you need to put your treatment first if you really, truly want good results. It seems like your treatments get placed on the back burner because of conventions/trips to LA, etc. I think a big reason why things haven't been working is because of these interruptions. You shouldn't have to "hope you'll have time" for treatments that are essential to healing your brain :(
0 likesdodie i love you so much
0 likesyou're amazing
0 likescan you remember the exact moment you started dissociating???? I can and I really really really regret it because I think I could have prevented it if I hadn't done the thing but I did the thing and now it sucks
0 likesit's bothering me so much that thoughts is spelt wrong? i love dodie though so it's okay
1 likeYou are so real. <3
0 likesill become a hippie with you dodie
0 likesDodie, I think part of the issues you have are that you have a very busy career now. When there's a lot to organise, the calm contentment is harder to find. I partly found that when I entered my career, then much more so when I had to juggle that with having a family.
0 likesThe CBT sounds like a great idea-but can you slow down with your travelling/working a little too? It's hard to find happiness in the small moments if every small moment feels wasted if you aren't organising the next big thing...
Also, if that isn't possible, can the CBT be conducted by phone/video call? I would really try not to miss it-I have friends it has really helped.
I need to see a Dodie/Josh cover of Some Nights
0 likesHey Dodie, it's been a while, how are you feeling now?
0 likesDodie you are back and ilysm
0 likesI love u so much dodie
0 likesThe end brought back memories cause we did Some Nights in our Glee club years ago :D
0 likesDodie please please please prioritise your therapy 😥 I understand you have a lot of responsibilities as an artist and you want to do lots of things but please work on your mental health with professionals especially during days like this xxxxx
0 likesFor the entire outro I thought I thought josh was drinking out of a tomato sauce bottle
0 likesWTF I FEEL THE SAME THING
0 likesPetition for manager josh and dodie to do a cover of FUN - some nights please 💛
0 likesPlease do a cover of a Fun song dodieeeee it'd be so cool
0 likesQuick Question, Dodie...
1 likeAre you touring in the USA?
Can you make an easy uke tutorial for newish players? 💛
0 likesmore manager Josh please!!!!
0 likes3:04 me when i thought there was like 2 weeks of summer left
0 likesI hope I get to meet you on your book tour
0 likesthis made me cry
0 likesI wish we were friends Dodie
0 likesyou and josh should cover some nights!!!
0 likeslove u bro needed a vid at this momENT
0 likesthe end vlogggy bit was so cute,, m o r e
0 likesWhy are you so amazing 🦄💙💞❣🌈😍😍🔥
0 likesI just finished NCS and I hated it, we also to go on a hike up a freaking mountain and my legs and back were killing me for the rest of the time we were there and having no signal just made the whole thing worse and I was feeling really sad because I had never stayed away from home from that long before, I would not recommend it to anyone
0 likesyou get a zillion comments so not sure if you will see this but one book that really made a big huge giant difference in my life regarding depression and anxiety and being mindful is "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle <3
0 likesI'm seeing Dodie in Cardiff in October AND I CANT WAIT!!!! Anyone else going? Xx
0 likesI'm literally sobbing rn your gonna be in Toronto and I could meet you that would be my ultimate dream I already missed seeing tatinof I don't want to miss seeing you now
0 likesTry meditating and yoga. It really helps ❤
0 likesok so it sounds weird, but if you spray a natural scent on the inside of your wrist, and whenever you feel stressed or nervous or just not good, smell it and think of something happy, so eventually when you smell that scent you link it with happy memories or thoughts. :)
0 likesdodie has the nicest friends thoooo
0 likesI read the mindfulness bit at the bottom of the description box and you don't really have to close your eyes to do it. You can just sit or lay or whatever with your eyes open and try to focus on not focusing
1 likeReplies (1)
huh. cool. thank you !!!!!
1 likeI dream to find man, who knows very well English and began to make Russian subtitles to your video
0 likesI didn't know you had a retainer ! Oh that makes me feel better about mine
0 likesI totally know what you mean about imagining the best scenario.. it's my birthday sunday, I turn 23. I've had the worst year of my life.. and I'm SCAreD Of SUnDay, I just want a nice birthday but I'm scared I'll feel numb and BorEd and indifferent. Going to celebrate this weekend though as if I'm REALLY happy, currently sat in a pink bubble bath, with a face mask on, due to see Mamma Mia in London with my mum tomorrow haha. WOOOOO BIRTHDAY WEEKEND F*CKING COME AT ME!! luv u dodes x
0 likesI thought being depersonalised in dreams was just a dream.being a dream?
0 likesAfter watching this i just wanna give dodie a big hig..
0 likesok but lowkey a sad emo cover of some nights could be really bomb like "some nights i wish that it all would end cause i could use some friends for a change"?? is MOODY AF
1 likeReplies (1)
DAYYYYMmmmmmmn
0 likesThis is something I totally know about
0 likes" Move to america and become a hippy " XD thats on my bucket list now
0 likesi start to crying right now beacause everything you sad is true ..
0 likesmy therapist always says "never should on yourself" aka don't get down on yourself for something you THINK should happen or you think you should be. life and recovery are both crazy rides that never go in a straight line. i've been in recovery for over two years now and I'm no where near the end. just keep working everyday on rewiring your negative thoughts and your negative thought distortions. it takes time and still have multiple thought distortions every day. really my only advice is that it takes constant work and a lot of time but it's worth it to be happy. good luck in your recovery and your therapies. <3
0 likesAppreciated the Harry Potter reference at the end!! Anyone else notice that !?
0 likesRuminating makes the depression and depersonalization so much worse. It is so hard to break. I'm still figuring it out, I hope you can too.
0 likesHey dodie, you probably won't see this, but do you know how to tell if you're depersonalizing? Because sometimes my brain kinda zooms out and I feel as if my life is a movie that I'm watching and that I can't do anything. Thank you!
0 likesDodie please cover some nights!!!
0 likesTips on rewiring your brain? I've mastered it, give me a message if you'd like to talk! I still get negative, but it's in spurts... I'm so thankful for how I've chosen to change, I'd just rather talk about it privately!
0 likesI thought that was a ketchup bottle for a moment and was like "Oii, what are you doing?!"
0 likesReally the only way to do that is to take a break. To leave everything that you think matters and see beautiful places. I was lucky enough to do that this summer and I felt they way you discribed. I really hope you can. Spend a month or as long as you can doing things that just make you content, and I found that a lot of friendships I had were painful and made my life harder. I can back to my life now with new mindset, a clear slate to build my life back from. I chose the friends that made me happy and who helped me, and now do things simply for the sake of joy. Yes there are hardships, but I endure them for the purpose of a happiness in the near future. I was able to élimante the toxic parts of my life and feel better. Please try this, and please let me know how it wirks
0 likesI don't have any real permanent solution, but take lots of walks alone in nature. I like walking on a beach and singing to the ocean. Just be in nature and be content with yourself.
0 likesi love you and it be okay i promise :)♡
0 likesWherever you go, there you are.
0 likesIs there a specific video where dodie talks about her depersonalization?
0 likesI thought Josh was drinking from a ketchup bottle. I was so confused for a few seconds
0 likesi'm honestly just watching this and thinking half of your problems are probably rooted from the fact that just like all the british people your age, you guys drink so excessively... if you want to feel content, maybe try enjoying the moment without booze in your system? and yeah, dodie, i'm not sure how financially stable you are with this youtube and ep and book things going on, but I'd definitely suggest a lil' one-or-two months' worth of social media break. I don't think it's physically possible to be so active online without making yourself feel worse, especially with your mental health issues.
0 likesi love the darkness of this video
1 likeI hope you're not missing NHS cbt appointments, which someone less socially privileged, but equally in need could use.
0 likesI had no phone for a week and it was amazing to have to open my laptop to connect on facebook. I deleted all social media except YouTube and Facebook earlier in the year and now I'm considering getting a brick just for calls and texts... I meditate, do yoga and eat clean. What have I become? I don't recognise myself from 6 months ago!
0 likesMake sure the house elf doesn’t get in and please don’t hit him with a light or lock him in a wardrobe
0 likesyours sincerely Lucius Malfoy.
We love you❤❤
0 likesi started crying at the end bit idk
0 likesI feel like our world lately is so self centered. We are always looking for ways to please us. When will we finally take time for others and to please them. Not overworking yourself for them but just doing simple things. It improves your mental health and will for sure make you happier.
0 likesBeautiful dodie
0 likesShe said she's going on tour after buffer fest... has that already been announced/sold out or is it not on sale yet?
0 likesI have a suggestion for depersonalisation, not that I've been through it or understand, but to me one of the biggest things that makes you you, is your voice. So maybe concentrate on your voice. Now that I've typed this out it sounds silly, oh well.
0 likesIf you wanted to take a break from YouTube no one would blame you someone time you just need time to recover and Connect to life I know it not that easy but don't put pressure on yourself to do YouTube. Btw i think you amazing and I do know how you fell
0 likesReplies (1)
Feel* sorry I can't spell dyslexic and all ahhahah
0 likesif you're able to, you should really try putting your phone away, not use your short-therm memory, try relaxing, without using the work part of your brain, it might damage the other parts of your brain, might make you feel kinda spaced out or depersonalised, the parts of your brain that should be working with the parts of your brain used for work and concentrating are instead just kinda inactive and stuff, I hope this might help <3
0 likesIt's strange, I want to run away to England, stop talking to my family, they don't really appreciate me or talk to me regardless, and start over. Be me, whether that's me being trans, or maybe bi gender. Because I think I may be. I'm not sure. But I can't be that here with my family
0 likeshonesty for honesty, i can't do otherwise. I feel the same way, but the main difference between you and me is that i don't have a past happy me to go back, since i can remember i always dreamed of people who loved me, or finding a girl i love and just sharing my life with her, i spent my life chasing dreams with my mind but my body couldn't bother to move, so i'm alone and stuck and sad,but dreams are still driving me to not shut down completely, the healthy dreams are moving to England, start writing scripts and directing shorts and create a career and make art till i die.But there is the unhealthy dreams, already wrote this on twitter or comments, i'll explain better, every time i felt alone i used to create a connection with characters (from books, or tv, or animated shows), that resulted in me creating a connection with youtubers, i don't worship you, i don't think you are a superior being, i just think that you are interesting and understanding and someone i'd like to hang out with, and so i think of Hazel and Sammy and Jack and Dan ecc.... but this is the problem, you are real people, i know that if i'd talk to you you'd respond to me, and i just wish i could be friend with you guys, and create beautiful things with you, but that's wrong, it's something unreal and damaging, and i'm terrified that one day i'm just going to lose you and i'm going to be alone, even more. So why write all this? well i guess to say, dreaming of how you used to see the world around you, or running away from those weights attached to your chest is normal, better than else, i can assure you. I could talk to you forever but i'm going to shut the fuck up, i'm glad i'm not the only idiot who slips into fantasies to run from itself.
0 likesYour mic is incredible
0 likesbook tour?! im so excited
0 likessaw the thumbnail then spat my drink out and was like "is that syndicate" turns out it wasn't XD
0 likesi think that people who don't know whether they are feeling content or not, DO feel pretty content. maybe not fully but to the point where their brains don't bother them. it's like someone asking "how do i know if i have oily skin?" and someone with oily skin says "trust me, if you have to question that you probably don't have oily skin. you would have noticed by now and it would really bug you". do you know what i mean? i envy people who don't have these thoughts crossing their minds
0 likesfun. broke up the lead singer's been going solo for a while 👌
0 likesstop planning stuff. Keep doing stuff like, twitter so we know you're not dead, and maybe some sloppy covers on doddlevloggle like once every two weeks. Go to the doctor, live a normal life, play shows on the street just out of nowhere with your ukulele case open and asking for change in the tube. Do anything you want and is in the spur of a moment- try it for at least two or three months after the last thing you've planned (book tour i think), and just give yourself some reset time, please.
0 likesLove your bag lol IS IT DODIE YELLOW THO?! No really cuz I'm confused on what Dodie yellow reallynis
0 likesyou're not gonna believe a word I say, what's the point of just drowning another day? And I get that I don't get it but the world will show you that you won't regret it. There WILL be a day where you can say you're okay and mean it. I PROMISE you, it'll all make sense again!! ~~
0 likesYou said that yourself Dodie in your beautiful song and it's inspired me so much with my mental health struggles so I'm reminding you of these hopeful words because I wholeheartedly believe you WILL be okay and you will be happy in the future, my dear <3 so much love xx
dodie's intro for over a minute here y'all
0 likesDoes it help referring to your brain as a separate entity? Not meaning to be intrusive, but just curious as to whether its worth giving it a try.
0 likesReplies (1)
totally helps! I do that all the same
0 likesYou should make a Fun. cover!
0 likeslegit thought manager josh was downing the ketchup - especially after he started shaking the salt and pepper into his mouth lol
0 likesDodz love! When you're coming on tour, will you be coming to America ?
0 likesI thought Manager Josh was drinking ketchup. I was genuinely concerned for him.
0 likesDodie Clark I love you ❤️ anyone else?
1 likeI can't go to vidcon Australia because too expensive and yet I'm still freaking out because DODIE is literally three hours down the road and AHADESFCWTHFSA
0 likesEDIT: and I know this video is about mental health and really important stuff but I just clicked on the most recent video 😅
please!!!! post a cover of some nights my life would be c o m p l e t e
0 likesanyone else hoping some nights playing in the airport inspired her to cover a song by fun for a future video??
0 likesno?
just me?
k
If you ever need to get away for a little vacation, know that there's a studio and a free tour of Athens waiting for you :)
0 likesdood i wish i could look good in those glasses
0 likesthat moment at 4:15 when you think manager josh is legit drinking a bottle of ketchup, like.. whaa? :D
0 likesdo a some nights cover!!!
0 likeshey i caught that harry potter reference at the end. dont think i dont see you!
0 likeslove ya dodie xx
LOVING the hp reference at the end there
0 likes"I'll probably be in my room makingnonoiseandpretendingidon't exist" the harry potter fandom is everywhere...
0 likesI mean same 😂
meditation + therapy
0 likesI love some nights!!
0 likesI know this probably won't help beside you probably won't see this dodie but there is a book called "the chimp paradox" by Steven Peters and if you are on a lot of planes and traveling it is worth the read cause it may help you understand depersonalisation and ways to help it mentally idk :/ anyways ilysm❤️ vmoa (videos most of August) was great ;)
0 likes4:40 I love that sonnnggg
0 likesdodieeee 💕💕💕
0 likesHey, how was that experimental magenetic thing treatment? It kinda slipped my mind. Did it help at all?
0 likesDreams are fun to create and exist in. They can also become destructive if they seduce you as far as to start making the grass seem not only greener on the other side, but make your own grass look brown and dead. I'm a romantic in all of the ways, and it can be difficult to curb the habit of daydreaming of things that seem fun or ways that my day or life could go better. It was a major coping mechanism and mode of entertainment when I was growing up, so merging into adult life, which is not fun 95% of the time, it can be hard to move into the spaces where it's full of uncomfortable emotions and hard choices and feel at home. It's gotten easier as I've started to feel more confident in my ability to handle hard situations. Playing the role of and adult, so to say, can end up feeling really satisfying. It's different than fun and dreamy and perfect, but still good.
2 likesWishing all the best! You're a lovely human being.
Replies (2)
Ive been exactly the same!!! I have to force myself to stop daydreaming about anything realistic because it was too destructive. Glad youre doing better!
1 likeAw thank you! :) I'm glad you recognized the pattern as well! Such a strange thing to fall into haha.
0 likesDodie! I want to help! Maybe you should try MEDITATION? i mean like the real deal boedha meditation, it's (shortly said) about being in the moment inside yourself by concentrating on your breating (at first) with the goal to "heal" yourself and the energy inside you. It takes some discipline but the effects are a general higher level of concentration and attention, lower level of stress, and some more great benefits! you can't do anything wrong with it :) YOGA could be an idea too and maybe less a step to take compared to like hardcore hippy meditation ;) lot of love and support! <3
0 likesLightbox: HAPPY THOUGTS
0 likesMe: same
The Harry Potter reference at the end, yes!
0 likesi fucking LOVE fun.
0 likesDO A COVER OF SOME NIGHTS MY LIFE WOULD BE COMPLETE
0 likesLately, I've been very depersonalized. I'm not myself. I've been not caring about literally anyone or anything. My empathy for people is fake. My smiles are fake. My happy feelings are fake. I'm just very not here. I'm depressed very much so but I feel absolutely nothing but some agitation and anger. I don't understand and I don't seem to care. I can't get out of it but I don't seem to want help. I'm just going with the flow of life without actually trying or thinking or having emotions.
0 likesI really want to become content too, and I guess I am kind of working on it, but in a really subtle way because I'm on this new medication. I'm not sure where it's taking me, so I'm just kind of going with the flow. I'm not sure if I'm depressed to be honest, but my anxiety is DRAGGING me down from my potential of what I could ACTUALLY be doing. I've been so scared recently to do anything other than what I'm comfortable in. I guess my anxiety paralyzes me, or stops me in some parts of the day. And to top it all off, my parents have gone over seas for three weeks and I'm in a completely different house. But it's a new environment, and it's fun, and I'm kind of happy here, away from the norm. Ughh! But I'm scared of trying my hardest and then failing, and then not knowing what to do from there because I've never made it that far. Like, what if I have so much devotion for it, and then it slips through my fingers... I guess I can still enjoy the little moments and imperfections of it. And if I miss an opportunity, then a lot more will come around, and it's not the end of the world, to be fair. Yea, I'll be sad and disappointed, but if I learn to be kind to myself then it will all be okay in that moment. But then again, what if I start to become blind to my insecurities, and then I never fix them, or what if I'm hurting someone and I don't know or don't want to admit it because "life's so great" or whatever. Haha! I guess, arguments are clearing the air and they will always happen no matter what, we're going to make mistakes no matter what. And I love to fix things when I'm not tired, I relate to people's emotions, so I can be there for them. And if they don't want me to and they leave... then they just didn't care enough and that's their problem. Wow, this escalated from hobbies and career to people and relationships. If you had the time to read this, thank you so much. As you can see, I am working on positive thinking, I am a positive person, but obviously not all the time. I guess I'm just becoming a realist. Okay, I'm scared now... figuring out things about myself that are permanent... shutting down... bad brain can't handle... goodbye
0 likesWhere can I get information on the book tour?
0 likesIkr the box has no idea how many letters you actually need to spell anything, I had to buy a whole new set of letters haha
0 likesPerhaps you could work with a Faster EFT (emotional freedom technique) practitioner. Faster EFT is a form of EFT that goes deeper and supposedly works more efficiently. EFT involves tapping with your fingers and hands on certain trigger point on your body whilst also using affirmation and its used for both releasing old thought forms, beliefs and emotions and also anchoring in new beliefs and emotions. If you search Faster EFT on youtube there will be tutorials. 💛
1 likeReplies (1)
Also im guessing youve already done this but if you didnt know, there are many videos on here where people talk about how they overcame their depersonalisation and tips, although this isnt something i can speak to because i have not had it.
0 likesMindfulness is the only way. Read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. Meditation is the only way to require your brain to live in the present moment, in my experience.
0 likesi thought josh was drinking out of a ketchup bottle. didn't think it was weird, just thought "i'd probably do that too".
0 likesManager josh is such a sweetie
0 likesThat Harry Potter reference at the end though
0 likesThe only tip I have for rewiring the brain is to distance yourself from the things that truly make you unhappy!
0 likesFor example, I was very very unhappy for a very long time, and I needed a major change. And so, with very little forethought and at the slightest provocation, I picked through all of my belongings, packed about 10% of it all, and moved 1,900 miles away from where I was to begin the slow steady process of rebuilding, preeeeetty much at the drop of a hat. I said tearful goodbyes, I gave gifts, I received gifts, I promised to stay in touch, and I left everything and everyone I knew behind. Now, you probably don't have to do anything nearly this drastic; I had a whole lot of baggage holding me down and this was the easiest way for me to get it all out of the way so I could focus on being the person I wanted to be, rather than the shell I was that constantly felt crushed under the weight of various stresses. After being here for a month now, now that everything's settled and I'm starting to make real changes and get things on track, I can say it was the greatest mental health step I've ever taken. It was terrifying, it was hard, it was sad in its own ways, but once I got over that stuff and realized that the bad was gone and the good was always with me, I was able to truly move forward for the first time in years.
So, needlessly long story short, remember that the bad is temporary and only stays with you as long as you let it, but the good is always with you, even if some of it is in memory~ Don't be afraid to do the scary things in order to right your wrongs; scary things help us grow and learn how not to be as scared anymore <3
Replies (1)
SIDENOTE:
0 likesSome would say I ran from my problems, and in a way I did. However, the problems I ran from were the sorts of problems you cannot fix. I ran from those problems and ran right into problems that I can fix, problems that when fixed, will make me a better person. Sometimes, escape is the only good option. There's no reason to repeatedly smash yourself into a brick wall because you don't see the value in walking around it and leaving it behind you~
honestly thought josh was drinking ketchup for a second LOL
2 likesDodie you have retainers?! I never knew xD
0 likesI THOUGHT MANAGER JOSH WAS DRINKING OUT OF A KETCHUP BOTTLE HAHAHA
0 likespancake recipe for anyone who is feeling down :D
0 likesIngredients:
1 cup bisquick mix
3 tsp. sugar
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. vegetable oil
1/2 cup milk
1 egg
(makes 6-7 pancakes)
Directions:
-Get bowl and whisk
-Mix bisquick mix, baking soda, and sugar first
-Mix your eggs milk and veggie oil (and mashed bananas if you want)
-F U S I O N H A (mix your ingredients together in a bowl, and try not to overmix it so the pancakes aren't too tough)
-Once the batter is nice n' smooth, let it set while you get your pan, butter, and spatula then clean up the ingredients
-When you finish cleaning and setting up, get your pan and coat it with a lil' bit of butter
-Put on stove and let the butter melt (I set it to a 5 when melting the butter, and turn it to 3 and wait a bit before I make a pancake)
-Mix the batter around for 5 seconds to get rid of any bubbles
-Get a measuring spoon (1/4 cup is the best size if you want a consistent pancake shape) or a ladle and pour batter onto pan
-Wait for 60 seconds or however long it takes for your pancake to be a light brown by checking your pancake every 10 seconds, lifting the pancake if possible by only a little bit and flip if you think it's done
-Flip and wait 1/2 of how long you waited for your pancake's first side to finish and take off pan and into plate
-Repeat until batter is finished
-Enjoy and take care of yourself! :D
Tips:
-Buttermilk is better for pancakes, use it if you have any
-If you are adding bananas, there should be as many bananas as there are eggs
Holy shot I forgot about that song!
0 likeslove :(❤️
0 likesdodie looks sooooo different for some reason
0 likes"Happy thougts"
0 likesHappy thoughts
Where can we order the glasses she was wearing?
0 likesI literally thought that Josh was drinking out of a ketchup bottle
0 likesHARRY POTTER REFERENCE AT THE END I LOVE YOU EVEN MØRE THAN I ALREADY DID!!!!!!
0 likesthis video's title is painfully relatable
0 likesWhen fun. was playing I just got flashbacks to that one collab with panic! from like 2011.!
0 likeswhen you live in D.C but you still can't go to playlist because it's so expensive.
0 likeshippie here who just wants to say, one straw is unnecessary, let alone two. plastic straws are a big problem and big part of plastic pollution. plastic never goes away, it breaks apart into tiny pieces called micro beads. if it hasn't gone into landfill, it gets into the environment & usually makes its way through gutters and rivers into the ocean. and by the time it's in the ocean, if it hasn't already been mistakenly ingested by wildlife, it is infested by fish. no animal can process plastic whether whole or micro beads. so they die in one way or another -starvation usually.
0 likesthese micro beads also attract toxic chemicals, literally becoming a poisonous pill. once inside the belly of the fish the chemicals enter the bloodstream. we then eat the fish and the chemicals are in out bodies.
don't mean to be greatly saddening but it needs to be known. i hope i don't sound preachy.
there's a documentary called a plastic ocean which is much more informative.
that cheeky Harry Potter reference in the end lol
0 likesI really really really wish I could go to vidcon
0 likesforever sad
I know this video is important but I just can't ignore..."Happy thougts"
0 likesWho else thought josh was drinking from a ketchup bottle lmao
0 likesDODIE I JUST SAW UR SNAPCHAT STORY YES HALF OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE FROM MUSICALLY!
0 likesDodie please come to Italy on tour!!!!
0 likesi missed you so much akljfsjlfjs im so happy youre back
0 likesI'm coming to see you in Newcastle and I'm So ExCiTeD!!!!!
0 likeslove the lil harry potter reference at the end
0 likesIf you wanna rewire your brain, do new stuff. ditch your friends, talk with random people, do the weirdest things youve never done before.
0 likesGuys at the end when dodie and her friend where at the food place I thought the guy was drinking KETCHUP
1 likerecently I just felt an extreme need to escape and it was v weird
0 likeslike as if everything about me on the Internet just had to go
and so I deactivated my Instagram accounts and my Twitter accounts and like I kinda just dont go on snapchat anymore
so now I'm quite detached from the rest of the world
and everything
its quite nice being able to just not think about anything to do with anyone
I'd recommend it tbh ive become better at not checking social media and being here
still sad as fUCK tho can someone help me with that
ooo, You went to Cyprus? I go there nearly every year with my family; we normally go down to Paphos to The Hotel Cynthiana. I mean, my parents go because the rest of the family is going, I just go because of the cats. Just the cats... flipping love them.
0 likesReplies (2)
WE STAYED THERE ONCEEEE and jumped off that little cliff bit
0 likesREALLY? COOOOOLLLLLLLL! I wanted to jump off the rock, cliff, lion-king-slope thingy last year when I went, but I life guard told me off. But me being the rebellious freespirit-edgy-nerd-thing I am, I did anyway.
0 likesI sprained my ankle. oops
You probz wount read this but you are beautiful and amzing you dont need to change for anyone 🔥😍😘💞💙❣❤🦄🌍
0 likesWhat days will you be at the buffer festival?? I'm dying to meet you in Canada!!
0 likesOmg I thought he was drinking tomato sauce 😂
0 likesI wish I had some advice but tbh all I can think of that helps me is, instead of leaving your worries behind or dwelling on them, you should give them to God. That way you know somebody is taking care of them for you so they don't COMPLETELY disappear altogether (because of course that won't happen) but you don't need to constantly focus on them or have them eat you alive from the inside constantly. But I guess if you don't believe in God then you won't see this as an answer anyway sigggh but still, prayers xx
0 likesI know this might be a shallow answer, but diet and exercise is helping my brain a lot to rewire itself. Don't get me wrong, I am going through a lot of stuff especially when it comes to depression and anxiety, I barely get time for myself most days. But I have made it strict to bicycle to work everyday(no matter how much I feel I don't want to do it, or how much I complain that I don't have the time to do it, I have made it the most important thing and everything else doesn't matter). I am working on getting my diet proper, right now. I can go into details but please trust me on this, and I am not saying a light exercise should do it, just push your body to the limits and keep your goal really high. You might have tried it, if not please do. Once again this is just a suggestion, you know your condition better, i can just make a calculated guess for you. Take care Dodie, hope it helps.
0 likesReplies (1)
In addition to previous, initially no one is able to do much when it comes to exercise. Just keep at it relentlessly, and one day you'll see yourself performing better than before. Get someone who is knowledgeable to help train you right and not over do things.
0 likesI love you. Can you please ask a couple (two) of your lovely subscribers to go check out the wonderful Muuchan ASMR? She is lovely and talented and is TWO subs shy of hitting a well-deserved 30k. Thank you.
0 likesI've missed u so much oh my god my hEART
0 likesAirport alcohol is the best alcohol for some reason.
1 like❤️❤️❤️
0 likesTHAT HARRY POTTER REFERENCE AT THE END
0 likes"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." (Romans 12:2a)
0 likesit took me way to long to realize that Josh wasn't drinking ketchup, that bottle is very misleading
0 likesDodie please do a collab with Gabbie in the near future if you can because I saw you in her vlog and I've been watching you two for the same amount of time (since like February of something) and when I see you liking a pic of hers on Instagram vice Versa, and when I saw you in her vlog it made me feel so complete so plz do one (musically and normally)
0 likesDoes somebody know where her glasses are from??
0 likeshave you given any thought to anti depressant medication?
0 likesI love you so much bby <3
0 likesis josh drinking out of a ketchup bottle lmfao
1 likeHARRY POTTER REFRENCE - YES DODIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1 likeI feel like your book's never gonna come out, come ooon Novembeeer 😭
0 likesI THOUGHT JOSH WAS DRINKING KETCHUP OH MY FUCK
0 likesOkay but is that a Harry Potter reference I smell?? Because yes
2 likesI actually thought Josh was drinking ketchup ? ? ? is it just me
0 likesOMG PLEASE COVER "SOME NIGHTS" :D
0 likesthe moment present is a present for the moment
0 likesYour manager is a cutie pie. :)
0 likesthat harry potter reference at the end though
0 likesSHE WAS SO CLOSE T^T
0 likesDo you know of a way to get yourself thearapy without having to tell your parents? I tried telling my mom that I would like to get tested for depression or anxiety and just anything that would tell me what's wrong with me but she didn't listen. She said my brother used that excuse when he was little and went along saying kids think they know everything and said we would talk about it later but we never did. They tend to do this thing that when you are feeling a way that it's your fault and you are making yourself like this. They are wonderful people my parents but you can't really talk about this stuff to them and they are already going through alot so I don't want to be inconsiderate and my dad thinks only he is right I am currently in my room because I tried to talk to him about how he talks to my mum and how he shouldn't say thoes things and he got upset and said it was bs and I have no logic and he stopped me from making my breakfast and yea anyway they have been through alot and I can't really talk to them but I would still like to get help. I enjoy watching your videos about it because I thought no one understood how it felt and you described it perfectly which helped in a way so thank you dodie
0 likesBooze may not be the right answer but it is an answer (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
0 likesdon't drink kidsDodie have you heard of ayahuasca? You should look it up and see if it might be of interest... It may help 🙏🏻 xx
0 likesReplies (1)
sounds terrifying eeeek the idea of hallucinagenic stuff really scares me
0 likesDODIE YOU SNUCH THAT HARRY POTTER REFERENCE AT THE END YOU SNEAKY SNEK.
0 likesi used to love fun
0 likesThat was a hp reference at the end right? Or am I just too obsessed lol
0 likes#relatable
0 likesPlease go see The Gilded Lily at Buffer Festival!!
0 likesI wouldn't say that you are running away, you're just running to other things, idk
0 likesI have also been put on the NHS waiting list for camhs. Waiting for that letter.
0 likesHARRY POTTER REFRENCE - YES DODIE!!!!!!! :-D
0 likesyou are art
0 likesHAPPY THOUGTS BOTHERED ME THE WHOLE TIME
0 likes*clap clap* *finger snap finger snap* you are looooved
0 likesKetamine? MDMA? Shrooms? perhaps worth a try :P
0 likeswait book tour what did I miss someone please tell me
0 likesAhahahahaha hp quote at the ends greattttt
0 likesthere's only one tip: therapy and meds.
0 likesmissed u <3
0 likesI'm gonna--
0 likestAKE A BREAAK
RUN AWAY WI-
Booze is the answer but I can't remember the question.
0 likesI'm so sorry but I legit thought Manager Josh was drinking a bottle of ketchup at first 🙈
0 likesIS THAT A HARRY POTTER CHAMBER OF SECRETS REFERENCE OR HAVE I FINALLY GONE MAD
0 likesTHE HARRY POTTER QUOTE AT THE END
0 likesI'LL BE AT THE CONVENTION IN DC AND I SIGNED UP FOR YOUR MEETUP DISJSHHSJHAA
0 likesIf you know and understand that your sadness comes from an imbalance of chemicals in your brain and you really want it to stop but you physically can't will it to, then you go onto anti-depressants to fixed the imbalance of chemicals. Anti-depressants often act as a temporary fix if you aren't mentally prepared to get better however if you are mentally prepared to fix yourself then often a 6 month course (that's all) can make you right as rain indefinitely. Ps the wonky side effects are incomparably small compared to depression.
0 likesI read the title as 'I would love to love every comment'
0 likesLove that HP reference 👉👉⚡️
0 likesTHE HARRY POTTER REFERENCE AT THE END
2 likesDid I spy a cheeky lil Harry Potter reference in the end there? 😉
0 likesI thought Josh was drinking a bottle of hot sauce
0 likeslove the harry potter reference
0 likesi thought josh was drinking out of a ketchup bottle at first
0 likesI think he was drinking ketchup 😂
0 likesThat H that was there for a couple more seconds 😂
0 likesThat Harry Potter reference tho
0 likesI THOUGHT JOSH WAS DRINKING KETCHUP
0 likesHave you tried some kind of medidation yet? :)
0 likesBEST OUTRO
0 likesOMG ARE YOU GOING TO THE NATIONAL BOOK FESTIVAL?!?!
0 likesTip on how to rewire your brain: check out Joe Dispenza. His stuff is all about this. It has really helped me a lot, but I get that it can be too good to be true when you just look it up. Please just give it a go :)
0 likeshi!! I don't know if you'll see this, but why not say it anyway:) If you are ever looking for a little town/city to stay in, you would totally love (I know it's far away) but the Troy/Rochester area in Michigan. There are plenty of smaller towns around it like Milford, royal oak, etc and many people are all about just enjoying life!! if you're not into that, Grand Haven, Michigan is beeeaatiiifffuuul and sooo relaxing. I hope you can make it out there sometime, it's verrrry nice and relaxing☺️
1 likeAnyone know if Dodie will be at summer in the city?
0 likesIt looks like manager josh was drinking ketchup and shaking salt directly into his mouth at the end
0 likesgenuinely thought josh was drinking ketchup
0 likesI was 100% sure josh was drinking ketchup...
0 likesI think your brain will not be as it was but it will be good. It is going to be in a third phase: 1. good ol times 2. frightening shit happening all the time 3. frightening shit happened but not anymore or I don‘t know maybe I can deal with it now dunno but it‘s all ok
0 likesfun. is on a hiatus but Jack Antonoff is in a new band called Bleechers, they're pretty good
0 likesManager josh is getting so into it lolll
0 likeswas it just me or was the face she made in the first couple seconds look like cassie from skins ??
0 likesIsn't basically what touring is? Granted it's a part of the job, but it gives you an excuse to run away for anywhere from a couple of weeks to two years. Anyway good luck.
0 likes<3
0 likesmanager Josh is a cutie wow
0 likesTreatment takes commitment. The brutal truth is that you never seem to actually commit to a treatment. You plan trips (that you say make your brain feel bad) instead of staying home and getting a steady treatment.
0 likesAgh I missed you
0 likesdodieee walk around dc D: i'll be in dc! it would be lovely to run into you!
0 likesI thought Manager Josh™ was holding a ketchup bottle and then he drANK IT AND IT fReaKED ME OUT
0 likesI think I'm in love with manager Josh
0 likesjosh looks like he's drinking ketchup lol
0 likesCanada will help you feel content. We have rainbow money, unlimited amounts of maple syrup goodies, and lots of looove and kindness <3
0 likesI can't with that Potter reference at the end.
0 likesWHEN R U GOING ON BOOK TOUR PLZ TELL ME
0 likesDodie come to America and be a hippy for a while it's great
0 likesI THOUGHT MANAGER JOSH WAS DRINKING TOMATO KETCHUP AT FIRST..
0 likesThat Harry Potter reference
0 likesI loved this video and I'm still in the middle of the video but I wanted to know if you know what ennegram number you are? I have a hunch but I wanted to know to confirm or deny my hunch
0 likesI love youuuu
0 likesOmg Veda is back !!!
0 likesI feel, except I don't have drealisation
0 likesthe harry potter reference 😂
0 likesWTF WTF WTF WTF Dodie I am from Peru, I live here and omfg I would've died if you actually came omg, you are like my idol and omg omg omg i'm like crying rn, I can't believe you almost came. :( Please come, even to Lima, please please, I love you so much. Ok bye :(
0 likesManager Josh is too cute!
0 likesJust stumbled across this channel
0 likesTips on rewiring your brain? Acid?
0 likesMaybe if you start journaling (if you don't) you'd have a place to dump all your baggage and it helps you learn stuff about yourself like therapy? Idk what I'm talking about or if you still do therapyyyyyy buuuut it helps me:))))
0 likesbecoming a hippy...... becoming.. becoming dodie you the biggest hippy ever
0 likes❤️🌈🌈
0 likeslol I thought Josh was drinking ketchup at first
0 likeshi Dodie, please don't feel obliged to nod happily or think 'hey I'll give this a try' BUT I too had a period where I felt depressed and depersonalized. (I wrote a blog post about it here: https://paintingtheoceanblog.blogspot.co.uk/2017/06/right-now-how-its-not-going-to-be.html ) ANYWAY, I was at a stage where I was just screaming to feel 'happy' and 'content' and just 'normal' again. And then there was one thing that helped me get through it, to hold hands with 'myself' again... (this is where everyone goes running) and that was God. I listened to this song - Trust in You by Lauren Daigle - and felt a peace like no other. I was crying for about an hour but they weren't tears of frustration or helplessness. I felt hope. Hope that I could get through this feeling. And guess what? I did. Sending you all the love in the world... Again, I completely understand if this wasn't what you wanted to hear :) I just have to share how knowing him makes me feel xx
0 likesReplies (1)
and I truly believe that dream was a glimpse of your happy and full future <3
0 likesIt looked like Josh was drinking out of a ketchup bottle
0 likes:( poor dodie
0 likesI hate to say it Dodie but overcoming your fears is the best way of 'rewiring' your brain. It's psychologically proven that the best way to treat someone with anxieties is to do the opposite of formulating a 'safe space'; you take them out of their comfort zone and gradually expose them to their fears.
0 likesPeople don't become less fearful, but rather more brave and self-assured. I sincerely hope this advice is useful to you.
Tour? Anyone know where I can get tickets?
0 likesU could've made the light-up sign say thots '3'
0 likesDodiee! What busker festival are you going to? the one in Toronto?
0 likes💛💛💛💛💛
0 likesWAIT what's the festival in canada? is it in toronto? what's it called? ahhhhh!!
0 likesI thought Josh was drinking a bottle of curry ketchup!!
0 likesokay we get it you have depression
0 likesDuring your book tour do you happen to be coming to Ireland??
0 likesanybody notice the 'happy thougts' sign in the back?
0 likesPlease for the love of god do a Fun. Cover one day oh my god
0 likesReplies (1)
Also: "where on earth did they go"
0 likesDon't get me started Josh
Don't do it
DODIE YOU SNUCK THAT HARRY POTTER REFERENCE YOU SNEAKY SNEK.
0 likesLol I thought the sign in the back said happy donuts. I see how that doesn't work now...
0 likesHave you tried meditation?
0 likesWell if you find out about the rewiring thing, let me know lol
0 likesEMDR has helped me cope
0 likesAs much as I love you, don't love to America. We're falling apart over here. Maybe Canada though.
0 likesi love how honest she is ahh ❤️
0 likes5:12 okay harry potter i relate
0 likeslove you dodie but I literally could not stop looking at your incorrectly spelled sign the entire time loll
0 likesI spy a Harry Potter reference at the end!!! :)
0 likesit 100% looked like manager josh was drinking ketchup??? in the last bit?
0 likesi thought josh was drinking a bottle of ketchup
0 likesare you coming to Germany for the book tour???
0 likeshey, if you ever want to try going to momentum or a festival like that, you could. just throwing ideas out there even if it is religious.
0 likesWhy is manager josh so cute?
0 likesyer a wizard dodie
0 likesURGH I CANT WAIT TO SEE U LIVE IN NEWCASTLE SEE U THEN
0 likeseven the auto-generated captions thought your name was jodie
0 likesI thought Josh was drinking ketchup
0 likesUGH DC IS IN MY AREA I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA MISS YOU
0 likesWAS THAT A HARRY POTTER REFERENCE AT THE END
0 likesI THOUGHT JOSH WAS DRINKING KETCHUP????
0 likesi firmly believe that cbt rewires your brain, as a psychology nerd and as someone who has had their life fucking transformed by cbt. however... i was in therapy varying between talk therapy and cbt twice a week for 9 months.... and im stil in weekly therapy (mostly talk therapy). the thing is.. it takes time. all mental health solutions do. but let me tell u, after my therapist reminded me to be kind to myself, and stop negative self talk as soon as i recognize it, etc. i just wish u the best dodie and i wish i could give u my exact mental health resources/opportunity
0 likesthat harry potter reference tho
0 likesis happy thoughts supposed to be spelt wrong?
0 likesI shouldn't be watching these videos bc they keep bringing back my negative thoughts bloody ell
0 likeshappy thougts ❤
0 likesFull cover of Some Nights w/manager Josh plz
0 likesif love could love love would love love?
0 likesthe harry potter reference :)))))
0 likesBOOK TOUR???? where can i get tickets???
0 likesI thought he was drinking tomato ketchup
0 likesCOME TO AUSTRALIA AND EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER
0 likesThis seems wrong, I am in like with a complete stranger. Any explanations?
0 likesThe irony of the misspelling of 'thoughts' in the background... I feel so bad about it.
0 likesYou should come to America so I can meet you 😁
0 likesreads title yeah...me too
1 likeIt looks like manager Josh is drinking from a bottle of ketchup and it's very confusing
0 likesWatch Bob Ross, it's the best thing for anyone and made me very happy
0 likesOh hey, CBT buddies!
0 likesI thought Manager Josh was drinking from a ketchup bottle oops
0 likesanyone else thought manager josh was drinking ketchup?
0 likesWHY DODIE??? WHY IS THOUGHTS SPELLED WRONG IN THE BACKGROUND?? WHYYYYYYY
0 likesDid someone say BOOK TOUR?!
1 likeIly dodie
0 likesnext up on my autoplay... Kim Possible: Proof that Kim and Ron Liked Each Other
0 likes....
what
I LOVE FUN YEEEEE
0 likesDid Manager Josh just drink (alcoholic) ketchup?
0 likesi feel...
0 likes3:30 don't we all
0 likeswhy did I think Josh was drinking ketchup at first
0 likeswaiT what does this mean when you said tour And book tour?? like did i miss something or
0 likesjosh looks like he's drinking ketchup
0 likesthoughts (behind her) is spelt wrong and im stressed
0 likesGood luck. !!
0 likeshaha thats ok because i plan on running away to london whe im older!!!
0 likesWas josh drinking ketchup ?
0 likesI saw that Harry Potter reference dodie
0 likessitting in my room making no noise pretending I don't exist - was that a Harry Potter reference or no? bc to me it was
0 likeshow is the background so silent
1 likefor your tour you should come to michigan ;))
0 likesdoes anyone know what she's doing in LA? im soooo out of the loop save me
0 likesOMG DODIE JUST MADE A HARRY POTTER REFERENCE
0 likesHmmmmm.......try looking at Nicky Case's video about neurons and rewiring your brain n' shiz. If it enlightens you and makes you motivated enough to make getting better a project in your life, you should let them know.
0 likesHappy thoughtsssss
0 likesYer trending dodes!!
1 likeim convinced josh is drinking ketchup.
0 likesI thought that guy was drinking ketchup haha!
0 likesMy tip is to not indulge the thoughts of depression and depersonalisation. Don't indulge them. Don't let them grow bigger than they have to. Back in 2014, I would sit alone and really, really indulge them. Write about them, cry about them, moan to my mum and friends about them. But the minute I started trying to be creative about other things, on purpose, forcing myself, something shifted. Slowly but gradually it shifted. Now, I still feel that way, of course, but I banish it as much as I can. I create a fairytale fantasy. I write about it but in an indirect way, so it can't sneaky up on me. But, I know this does not work for everyone. The thing about mental illnesses is just that; they are mental. There are mental tricks you can play. Maybe. I suppose. The mind is a complicated, intricate, wonderful, beautiful thing.
0 likesGenuinely thought the light box said "daddy issues"
0 likesReplies (1)
:'''D
1 likewait sorry a book tour!!!! pls come to swansea ahhhh
0 likesPretty sure the laptop has 'thoughts' spelled wrong lololol
0 likeslmao is josh drinking ketchup??
0 likeswhy is josh drinking tomato sauce
0 likessorry but it looked like Josh was straight up drinking from a bottle of ketchup xD
0 likeswhy is josh drinking ketchup at the end
0 likesYour nose looks so cute and full of freckles aah :-)
0 likesif you ever wanna run away, run to lafayette, louisiana. it has realistic southern and cajun culture and music as well as delicious food. i have a queen size bed in a small apartment that you can crash on. you can change your name and prefect an american accent and write about your silly little journeys throughout the city.
0 likesbut in all seriousness, i hope you feel better soon. everything will be okay.
Which busker festival dodie??!? And where is it, Toronto?? Cause that would be wonderful
0 likesDo I deserve to eat?
0 likesnow i miss fun. lol fun
0 likesJordan Peterson talks about our dreams possibly being our brains trying to work problems out. so it makes sense that you have been having depersonalization dreams.
0 likesThat sign in the back is just too ironic.
0 likesIs Josh drinking ketchup?
0 likeslol was that a harry potter reference at the end
0 likesi will be at your show tonight not that you will see this till after if you do but just want you to know if i see you i have one sentence i want you to hear from my lips so i will try and talk to you between my screaming sisters i will only say that one thing to you it might even help you with your question here.
0 likesyo im cypriot!! represent🇨🇾🇨🇾🇨🇾 hope ur ok <3
0 likesWill someone explain depersonalization
0 likesPlease please PLEASEEEEE
0 likesCome to Cyprus again ;-;
Have you ever read the untethered soul by Michael alan singer? He writes about what describe here
0 likesBOOK TOUR!!!!!!!!!!
0 likesI thought he was drinking ketchup... Am I the only one or?
0 likesThe chef boyardee is in the microwave now.
0 likesOmg I'm going to college in ny you were in my state for a coupla hours WOW
0 likesis manager josh drinking ketchup?
0 likesHarry Potter reference!!!
0 likes"fuck no" lmao
0 likeswhat spot cream do you use and does it work??
0 likesReplies (2)
it's like a sulfur mask? i mean it apparently doesn't work cause i still have pizza face but it's good u know
1 likedoddlevloggle gurl you're so pretty (and everyone loves pizza anyway lol) thank you tho i shall try it out !
0 likesThere is no geographical cure. And that sucks 😂
0 likesthis is completely unrelated but the fact that "thoughts" was spelled wrong in the background really confused me lol i had to check
0 likesDO A COVER OF SOME NIGHTS BY FUN.
0 likesthought josh was drinking ketchup
0 likesWas. A Potter That. Harry. Reference
0 likesD O D I Eee omg
I love you Dodie but why do you try to do things like Veda when you know you can't, why don't you just post videos when you want to without putting the pressure on it and then you won't feel like you've failed
0 likes"happy thougts"
0 likesDodies lil fuck naw :3 <3
0 likesthe one time dodie is in DC, Im not lol
0 likeswhat day are you going to be in Toronto for Bufferfest and are you going to do a meet up? (pleeaassee do a meet up!)
0 likes''making no noise and pretending i don't exist'' omg was that a harry potter reference?? from the philosophers stone?
0 likesbut... is he drinking ketchup?
0 likesIs the end screen a Harry Potter reference??!??
0 likesLisa and Lena used one of your songs on musical.ly!! 😂
0 likesWait book tour??
0 likesDodie come to Perú pls!
0 likes"happy thougts"
0 likes"happy thougts"
0 likesI love josh
0 likesARE YOU COMING TO AMERICA FOR YOUR BOOK TOUR
0 likeswhere's ur book tour??? tixxxx plz <3
0 likesYassssssss :)))
0 likesWho else thought that the red alcohol bottle was ketchup
0 likesIdk what's wrong with me but I can't deal with the fact that the sign behind you says Happy Thougts Where did the H goooo
0 likesif you're bored in DC you could do a meet up for peeps who didn't buy tickets (oops
0 likesPLEASE GO TO LIVERPOOL FOR YOUR BOOK TOUR PLEASEEEE
0 likesI love you
0 likesI love you
0 likesI LITERALLY AM SO CLOSE TO WASHINGTON BUT I CANT GOOO
0 likesThe harry potter reference
0 likeshey dodes guess what i got a girlfriend
0 likesIly💛
0 likesI get that the fast flashing text is kinda funny but when it's in every video I find it kinda annoying
0 likesHarry Potter reference!
0 likesWhat festival are you going to in Canada?
0 likesok but if you go to peru can you PLEASE come to argentina
0 likesWhy does manager Josh drink ketchup?
0 likesBut do you REALLY want to move to America, REALLY
0 likesyay canada! it's our 150 this year! xoxo
0 likesyay trending !!
0 likesYou should be thinking of moving to Canada instead. Probably safer than 'Murica at the moment.
0 likesi have a crush on manager josh
0 likesRUN AWAY TO SEATTLE THERE ARE SO MANY HIPPIES HERE
0 likestry psilocybin
0 likesIk ur in DC rn for Playlist Live! I live 30 minutes away!!!! I wish I could visit 😭😭
0 likesOo I noticed that small Harry potter reference at the end
0 likesSo there will be a us you tour?
1 likeI WANT TO GO TO BUFFER BUT ITS JUST NOT A THING THAT CAN HAPPEN????
0 likesTrekking helps me a lot😐
0 likesit looks like josh's drinking out of a kechup bottle...
0 likeswhere are you going in Australia??
0 likesplsss come to Adelaide ^-^
Please don't move to Los Angeles though.. It tends to make people sad and lonely.
0 likesCome hang out with me in Melbourne haha
0 likesyou brought up the Coca-Cola ads. I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING DO THAT. Bad memories for all of us.
0 likeshey maybe after vidcon australia you could pop over to nz and we can drink tea and talk and cry PLeAsE I wANt tO MeEt yOU
0 likeshappy thougts 😂
0 likesMy dumbass thought that the thing in the background said 'happy nuggets'
0 likeshehe i met you today at playlist
0 likesWHAT?! YES!!! COME TO PERUUUUUUU 😍😍😍😍😍😍
0 likesReplies (3)
I'll be your tour guide 😍😍😍😍
0 likes... too creepy? No? AWESOME!
0 likes..so.. pick you up at the airport? 😄😄😄
0 likesDodie ya done misspelled THOUGHTS in the background
0 likesu should meet up w Elijah & Loey that's all thank u
0 likesI so want to go to vidcon but I can't cause I live in Perth....
0 likesIF YOU ARE MOVING TO AMERICA MOVE TO COLORADO WITH ME, DODIE
0 likesAre you oversharing? Are you comfortable with this video? idk, you have struggled with this, so I'm just worried. keep an eye out for your oversharing. If you are comfortable with this video, then nvm.
0 likesDONT FUCKIN MOVE TO AMERICA PLS SAVE YOURSELF
2 likesMove to midlothian, illinois we can feed ducks and pull each other out of dissociative episodes in the forest preserves
0 likesThen you're coming to Seattle..?😃
0 likesit's my birthday today 💕💕💕
0 likesPlease come to Las Vegas. Please come to Las Vegas. I cannot stress how much I would love for you to come to Las Vegas.
0 likeswait. boOK TOUR???
0 likesPray, I don’t think you are a Christian... and I know u won’t see this. But it’s the best I can do. I had major depression less than a year ago and praying about it changed my life.. I’m just saying, you have nothing to lose :) love u dodie, and commenters (this can apply to anyone)
0 likesMe bluddy too
0 likesUr lovely
0 likesDid anyone else see the video of the girl twerking on crutches and thought...IsthatDodie?
0 likesOmg it says thougts in the background. Lol it's thoughts though.
0 likesI was in JFK about a week ago
0 likesaw dont worry think happy thougts
0 likesI can't go to vidcon AUS and I'm very sad
0 likesTry smoking weed if you haven't, no lie it's really great
0 likeswait is thoughts really spelled like thougts?? What's going on?
0 likesReplies (2)
did u see the stuff at the beginning
1 likeAha there it is! :p sorry, sometimes the click-y stuff goes really fast and I didn't feel like pausing
0 likesb o o k t o u r
0 likeswhat???????????????????
MANAGER JOSHIE!
0 likesVedis? :)
0 likesJk don't stress yourself
I know you probably don't want to hear this but honestly God id the answer. Just pray! Pray that the depression is just taken off of you and the worries will flee! I know you might not be a Christian or might not be anything, but what do you have to lose? If you're at rock bottom than praying can only help or not make a difference. Also I'll pray for you. I suffered from depression and God is the one and only answer. Noting on this earth will last, but God is eternal! Have a wonderful (happy) day Doddie :)
0 likesyou look like ki swan from vghs
0 likes"Any tips on rewiring your brain" I shit you not, but LSD, in very low doses of course
1 likeWho's coming to the Manchester shoowwww?!!!?
0 likesI have never been this early!!!!
0 likeswhats worse than me? vidcon.
0 likesShe is at playlist D.C. I am stuck at home wishing I could meet her and she is not that far but I have no money and I am to young to drive 😭😭😭😭
0 likesYou're talking about moving to America to make you happy, but why America what about it would make you happier? I'm seriously asking because I live in America and I've always wanted to live in London and maybe that'll make me happy. Maybe the city I just live in is awful but I don't like living here that much.
0 likesits annoying me that thoughts isnt spelt thoughts
0 likesWhere are you touring at?
0 likesnot to be rude but the word "thoughts" is misspelled in the background
0 likesokay if you move anywhere, do NOT move to the US. We're shit.
0 likesTHERES 666 comments so I'm gonna be jesus :3
0 likesMr Zit is gone :(
0 likesIt's my birthday today!!!!
0 likesToday's is the first day of school at hogwarts!!!
0 likesIs anyone else annoyed that thoughts is spelled wrong on the sign behind dodie? Sorry but it's so distracting 😂
0 likesdoes anyone see the h that stays on the screen at the beginning of the video?? 😂
0 likeshi there harry potter reference at the end
0 likesCome to america. Live in Columbus, you are always welcome here.
0 likesTherapy!
0 likesWhat does depersonalized mean?
0 likesReplies (1)
Nvm I'll just look it up after this video
0 likesLook at this like/dislike ratio whooooaaaaoooo
0 likesplease please PLEASE come to sydney if u come to australia
0 likesLiterally every comment is just like TL:DR
0 likeshello dodie!! i love you and your channel and your music!! 💛💛
2 likesI love you dodie! And I really like when you do such honest videos like this :)
0 likesMuch love being sent your way Dodie! I love you much! And you're not alone in this journey you're on❤️❤️we are all so proud of you xx
0 likesi'm proud of you for sharing i love you dodie thank you for trusting us <3
0 likesI LOVE THESE VIDEOS SO MUCH! Dodie, you're so talented and beautiful! Keep it up!
0 likesReplies (1)
I love how honest you are to us and I love how much you trust us as fans!
0 likesdodes I love you so much and you're doing so well, keep moving forward and don't give up on yourself 💙
0 likesI love these little talks and updates on your mental state. It's nice to hear something that is a lot like my state every once and a while❤️❤️
0 likeslove you dodie, your such an inspiration to me, and you make me so happy
0 likesDodie!! You were the reason I cut my hair short and I love it! ❤️❤️❤️
0 likesThis is completely relatable dodie. Lots of love xx
0 likesEvery video is so aesthetically pleasing I'm in love😍
0 likesdodie is so fricking cute. i love her so much, and i love that she talks to us about what shes feeling. it makes me feel so much less alone.
0 likesMy day is instantly better with dodie in it. She just makes me feel...understood in a way. Seen, like I'm not alone
1 likeHey you're so awesome and I love you I ordered an ukulele so I can learn your songs!💚💚💚
0 likesdodie is the best and most relatable, heart warming, talented, loving, caring and more to all of us. she shows us care, love, kindness when we see her. It's a shame when we know so much about her that she doesn't know anything about us! so i really hope one day that dodie will do a world tour and i live in british columbia and most singers rarely go there and it would be nice for a change when you visit! AND update with my name, i'm glad to say i don't have to deal with them anymore because i'm moving high schools! so ye
0 likesHope you had a great holiday dodes ❤️ ilysm
0 likesYes Doddddiiie I have missed you, you beautiful human. So happy for a new video!
0 likesReplies (1)
Take good care of yourself and remember how loved you are. Keep looking up and out <3
0 likesWe love you dodie ❤️❤️
0 likesInspiration at its best 😀
0 likesMuch love from the Philippines, Dodie <3
0 likesGlad you took a vacation! Even happier you're back! <3 <3
1 likeI'm on the train and I'm just watching with my headphones bc dodie is priority
0 likesLove your videos sm and hope you get well
0 likesLove you Dodie, hope you feel better soon.
0 likesNo tips on re-wiring your brain but I can say that I love you and know you will work through this xx 😊
0 likesI love you dodie ❤️
0 likesYAY YOU ARE BACK WE MISSED YOU! 💜💜💜
0 likesi love you, dodie. you always have our support.
0 likesrip me, i can't go to playlist damn.
A beautiful human who deserves everything
0 likesLove you soooooo much dodie you mean so much to me xxxxx ♥️♥️♥️😍😍😍
0 likesthis makes me feel like im not the only one who suffers with this shit
0 likesi love you so much
cant to wait to see you live ! are you doing a meet and great? dont feel presured to do one though xx love you so much and your such an inspiration to me
0 likesI love me some happy thoughts <3
1 likeI love you dodie<3
0 likesi love to love each moment of your videos
0 likesI love you dodie💛
0 likesI LOVE YOU DODIE I HOPE YOURE HAVING A WONDERFUL DAY AND IF NOT I WANT TO HUG YOU AND YOULL BE OKAY I PROMISE
0 likesI love you dodie ❤😭
0 likesMy life is like a shower when you can't get the right temperature but then someone turns on a tap and the water goes freezing cold👍🏻
0 likesTake a break dodie, you deserve it.
0 likesTo whoever is reading this -you are beautiful
0 likesYou are strong
And you can overcome anything . 💖
Your so gorgeous never stop being you
1 likeYOU GO GIRL.
0 likesyou are precious. you are kind. you deserve the world.
1 likeOmg I wish I had gone on a holiday this summer ❤️
0 likesyou guys are so precious
0 likesDODIE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
0 likesDodie why do I luv you so much😭💕
0 likesHI DODIE IT ME CAN YOU PLS SHOW THIS ON SNAPCHAT??? I LOVE YOU DUDE YOURE GREAT
0 likesYay dodie ur back❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
0 likesHey I love you dodie!!!!
0 likes'oh shit, it is september'
0 likesthat is probably one of the most relatable things i've heard in a while
time needs to slow down ee
I relate to this so much,it hurts.
0 likesI had my bike stolen today so that sucks but at least Dodie can make me feel better ♥️
0 likesDODIE YOUR SUCH AN AMAZING EGGGGG
0 likesI love you so much dodie
0 likesIt will get better don't worry ❤️
0 likesI LOVE U DODIE😂💕💕
0 likeslove you dodieeee
1 likedodiee I love you so much xx
0 likesCould've been on time but my mum wanted me to write down every single number in her phone... Only in my life
0 likesI LOVE YOU DODIE XXX
0 likesily and i am here for you!!
0 likesILY YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME
0 likes23andMe is doing a research thing (mainly for depression and mental illness) that I'm taking a part of where you take a survey every month and then play games for nine months after spitting in a tube. It's to help people in the future and to help understand and best treat it. Just letting you know in case you were interested.
0 likesThis so relatable
0 likesDodie<3
1 likeAh I love you!! 💛💛
1 likeWe all love you!!!
0 likesI love doodie
1 likeYou're so adorable
0 likesMY MF INSPIRATION
0 likesCute video xx love you
0 likesI got addicted to sadness
0 likesI love you will my whole earthly and spiritual being but you spelled thoughts wrong lovely
0 likes❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Love you so much
0 likesHey to whoevers reading this your a beautiful person 😊
0 likesI CANT WATCH THIS IM AT SCHOOL BUT I LOVE YOU
0 likesI weirdly wanna see a hippy dodie
0 likesLOVE ME YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN
0 likesme too dodie, me too
0 likesi got this notif and automatically started crying what the hell
0 likeslove you so much kween
0 likesHappy thoughts<3
0 likeswe missed youuu
0 likesLegend has it if you are early Dodie will reply (ps I look up to you so much)
0 likeswait she's doing a book tour?
0 likesso cute!!
0 likesIM IN ASDA RIGHT NOW AND IM SAT IN THE TOILETS WATCHING THIS
0 likes❤️❤️❤️
0 likesH a p p y t h o u g h t s : )
0 likes💗💗💗
1 likeYou crying at abseiling 😂 Bless ❤
0 likesHi I love you Dodie
0 likes💙💙💙💙💙💙 hugs from AmyBeth!, :p xx
0 likesyay dodie posted !!!
0 likes❤️
0 likes❤️
0 likes❤️
0 likes❤️
0 likesYAY A VID ON MY BUFFDAY
0 likesSUNSHINE OF MY LIFE
0 likes<3
0 likes<3
0 likesthere's earthquakes currently happening in my state but hey dodie uploaded i am okay
1 likeReplies (1)
Ravenclawesome thank you, i'm praying 😩
0 likesMe too dodie
0 likesMe too
💛💛💛
0 likesomg i actually made it to a dodie video earlyish
0 likeshave i missed something BOOK TOUR??
0 likesoh shit i just realised i do that too
0 likesDods please come to Ottawa when you're in Canada bc I can't come to Toronto. ilysm 💞
0 likesI BET YOU 2p THAT DODIE WON'T TAG THIS
1 likeHIIII SO EXCITED TO SEE U IN NOTIGHAM
0 likes❤️💖❤️💖❤️
0 likesDodie will you be having a meet and greet in canada
0 likesBook tour??? 🙃
0 likesHappy 🖤 Thoughts
0 likesYAYYYYY!!!!
0 likesIt looks like Josh is drinking ketchup out of the red bottle at the end...
0 likeshi dodes! <3
0 likesIlysm ❤️
1 likeHey love you!!!
0 likesAre u coming to Toronto? Please! Please! Please! It would make me so so happy
0 likesI'm in a restaurant but this is more important
0 likeshi dodie . 💛
0 likesOmg yes please move to America specifically New York ilysm
0 likesHELLO DODIE!!!
0 likesShe's my wife I love u so so so much
0 likesDodie im in school how dare you😂😭
0 likesHI i love you lots
0 likeswe all would
0 likesi love you
0 likesi love you
0 likesit would be amazing if you moved to America lol
0 likesI can't believe that you are coming to Australia and you're not coming to Perth. I wish i could fly to Melbourne :(
0 likesi like your nail polish! :)
0 likesReplies (1)
also i cried when u said you were going to vidcon AU bc im a broke bitch who cant afford it, dont know if I'll ever be able to go to one D:
0 likesDoes Dodie reply at all?
0 likesYou changed your font! At the beginning! No one notice? Ok 😌
1 like12 views, 629 likes, 124 comments. good job YouTube
0 likesI'm jelous of your problems. Not in a mean way at all but I think you need to re-evaluate how much better your life is than so many other people's and realise you have what a lot of others wish they did.
0 likesReplies (2)
Amy Rose they're not 'problems' lmao she has mental illnesses... like regardless of how good someone's life is they can get ill, both physically & mentally ya kno???
0 likesklarabella I get that a mental illness isn't a problem I have a lot of mental illnesses myself but when I look at dodies life I'm extremely jelous and what I'm saying is I dont think she realises what a great life she has. And I'm sure it's not just me who looks at her life and wishes theirs was like it and that she dosent get how un tragic her life really is.
0 likes306 views and 816 likes YouTube is drunk again 😂
1 likei love u
0 likesYAY MOM POSTED ON MY BIRTHDAY
0 likesReplies (1)
awesome queen Happy Birthdayyyyy! *showers you with presents and glitter*
0 likesCome to Paraguay!!
0 likeseeeeeeeeeee excited
0 likes:)
0 likesHow is Playlist DC hope it's cool
0 likesILYM
0 likesAlso dodie you spelt thoughts wrong on your light box
0 likesCRAP I FORGOT YOU ARE IN DC
0 likescome to costa rica to treat yourself
0 likesiloveyouu
0 likesLuv u
0 likesWhere's the h in "happy thoughts"?
0 likesEMDR Therapy.
0 likesI'm early again!!😅💓😊
0 likesSame here
0 likesYes!
0 likes1:30 is that KSI.
0 likesHIIIIIIIIII ❣️
0 likesdon't move to America we're a mess
0 likeswhat if you i die today?
0 likesi hate to nitpick and i dont wanna be rude but whats a 'happy thougt'
0 likessee my dreams are weird as fuck soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
0 likesdodie cover that song
0 likesearly squad❤️
0 likesi haVE NEVER BEEN SO EARLY
0 likesTips for rewiring your brain...look up The Wim Hof Method. That guy has changed my life.
0 likesDo you smoke weed?
0 likesWho else just scrolls through this comment section subbing to fellow damaged, mentally ill peeps to not feel lonely?
0 likeslmao when YouTube tells u 12 views, but 726 likes -- y u lie fam
0 likesSome nights cover anyone
0 likesif you're going to run away, i don't recommend america.
0 likesASMR
0 likesBored of my mental state, if that isn't me.
0 likesReplies (1)
But hopefully I'll be at BUFF Fest, hopefully! So I might meet dodie. Okay who am I kidding, if I have the chance to meet dodie, I will take anything.
0 likesIF YOU WANT TO BECOME A HIPPIE IN AMERICA COME TO JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA PLS
0 likesis EnGlAnD a city
0 likes"pretendingidon'texist" Hey, tis mi hobby.
0 likes5 views 365 likes
0 likeswow
Hoop hoop
0 likesEEEEEEEEEEEE
0 likeshappy thougts
0 likeshappy thougts
0 likesITS HER E
0 likesYO EARLY SQUAD
2 likesCOLLAB WITH NATHAN ZED
0 likesMOTHER
0 likesWho else thought that was pewdiepie
0 likesI get why you would run away but why to America
0 likesWhy America tho? Come to Norway. Social interactions are not required
0 likesAAHHH
0 likesyou really really need to stop saying things like "my brain does this thing" or "my brain can't do this" etc. It insinuates that you and your brain are entirely seperate. That kind of mentalily lets you believe that you have no control over your brain and how it functions, when in fact of course you have control, mental illness just makes it much harder. Try not to phrase things that way. Say "I do this thing" and "I can't do this". It'll make you question yourself "why not?". You'll seem more in control. Hope this helps.
0 likesearly yasss
0 likesARE THERE ANY PERUVIAN SUBSCIBERS OUT HERE OR AM I THE ONLY ONE PLS I HOPE IM NOT
0 likesSo early!
0 likesHello, howre you?
0 likeshamsters
0 likesam i early yet
0 likesI hate abseiling too don't worry
1 like❤️❤️❤️ I LOVE U ❤️❤️❤️
0 likes<3333
0 likesYAY A VID
0 likesYAYYY
0 likesHappy thougts???
0 likesYes
0 likeswoah i'm early
0 likesReplies (2)
okaychaos Pham! <3
1 like<3
0 likesBaaabe
0 likesyeyyyyeyeyey
0 likesWooop early afff
0 likesMami
0 likesHai <3
0 likesnot trying to be mean but why do you keep trying to do things like veda if you never finish them? why not set a more realistic goal especially if you know you'll be busy traveling. it'll be easier on you and more enjoyable for us bc as a viewer i was excited for veda but disappointed that you only got halfway through
0 likesReplies (1)
im sorry u were disappointed! honestly i set it as a goal for myself just as a sort of structure to help me create again. I forgave myself that i missed some vids because i succeeded in what I really wanted to do - make stuff :)
0 likesHi I'm gay
0 likesAlright is better than bad
0 likesFIRST COMMENT!!!
0 likesMaybe you should take the easy way out 🅱
0 likesmMf
0 likesThougts?
0 likesYou know the drill
0 likesread more
Replies (2)
Hate
0 likesMyself
0 likesthen do
0 likesOK
0 likesTalk
0 likesFIRSTTTT
0 likesHi friends
0 likeshi^
0 likesthougts
0 likesI don't like it
0 likesFirst! lol I hate these comments
0 likesFirst
0 likeshui
0 likes1st comenter I think 😬
0 likesReplies (1)
Amelie Deere you're not
0 likes