I know there is not magic fix to depersonalization (I've been through it). Depersonalization occurs during moments of great stress/ anxiety. For me it helps to think "this is just stress" because that's all it is. And by thinking that it kind of reduces the Big scary word "depersonalization" into something much smaller and much more relatable, "stress". I'm not saying that it's a magical cure but, for me personally, it helps make it seem less scary! I hope you and anyone in the comments dealing with the same thing is doing alright!


@doddlevloggle this video summarises one of the main reasons why mental illness is so frustrating. Often, my brain turns on me too. I am 17, turning 18 v. soon, and my aspirations are to be what you are: successful.
I admire you to heights for your talent, and success.The thing is, it is so easy to become jealous of (and- please don't take this in the wrong way- but even resentful towards) you. I find myself thinking 'this fantastic woman has everything I could wish for in terms of success in creativity, work, talent...yet she is finding it hard to appreciate these things...why...?'

 Then I stopped myself.

 Because it dawned on me why bad mental health IS so bad: it is SO SO SO difficult to appreciate your achievements when your head decides to press the fuck-it button. I have plenty to be grateful for, but my depression usually clouds it.
So. It was just to tell you that I get it, and you've helped me reinforce that fact: to remain on the saner side, people have to take care of their brain 💛 on that note, we can still be successful- it's not like we have to put everything on hold until we are a-okay 👌 mentally...it just needs to be a priority so we can appreciate...well..life!
Thanks dodie, and well done for all of your achievements x


Meditation helps to be content in the moment - it helped me although i keep forgetting to do it and then drifting back to depression urgh


aw dodes i hope the therapy goes well <3


The moment that true joy entered my life was when I found my life's purpose.  I don't think you need to come up with one defining life purpose  to be happy but I promise that by giving purpose to your decisions and thoughts will make it so much easier to be healthy, body and mind and soul.  A good question that can get you started is what would you do with your life if you KNEW you could not fail?  Hope that helps you as much as it's helped me.


ive also started feeling depersonalized in my dreams...its such a wild feeling


It takes practice to enjoy each moment.
How I started was if I thought a day was negative, I'd notice, stop myself and then try to think of the positives.
It doesn't have to be massive.
E.G. Yesterday at work we all got evacuated from the building. (everyone's fine, staff and public are all good.)
That could have been seen as negative.
However, in that moment I was thankful 1 that it was nothing serious, 2 I was in a situation where I wouldn't be in a casual setting. You see I haven't gone for a few drinks after work so this was a situation where we were all standing around talking to one another.
3 I was just grateful because at that moment countries are dealing with three different hurricanes.
Or, I'll recognise the good conversations I've had with people.

It takes practice, the more you notice your thoughts to stop and switch them, the easier it will be.
It takes practice but just like playing the uke, that took practice. It was difficult at first I'm sure, after practice a song becomes second nature. You no longer think about where your fingers need to be, or what chord comes next.
The same can be said for enjoying the moment.
You'll get there.
As I've always said, no matter how big or small the steps, keep moving forward.


I don't ave depersonalisation, but my ADD gives me similar symptoms. That numbness/floatiness has been my faithful companion for a long time now (the best I can describe it is with the Loneliness-Meddlum in Carrie's All that she can see) and I've had four precious days of absolute clarity and presence this years. Two of them happened when I cut off my hip-long hair to a pixie cut. The third one happened when I got my daith piercing, it was a little lighter though. The last one was when I had my tongue pierced. That one held for a little over a day. The difference I noticed is that, the less people know about the change I'm making, the more clarity I get. Noone out of my family knew I was going to cut off my hair. Everyone knew about the daith piercing. Three friends knew about the tongue. It's like everytime I commit to a change that I will get to announce like an achievement, I get clarity from the moment the change is initiated to the moment I announce it. That's not the healthiest coping mechanism to make myself feel real, but my therapist encouraged this behaviour strongly, because they're all temporary changes if I want them to be and they're much safer than self harm. I want to get tattoos eventually and I've told him about that and we reached the conclusion that tattoos being permanent, need more reasoning and therefore should be discussed beforehand. This is a good "small fix" for me. I don't know if it could help you, but maybe it'll help someone?


Hey Dodie, I know that you probably won't see this but oh well. I've been watching your channel for a while now and I have been in love ever since. Your music is beautiful, I love all of your covers and all of your original songs. I love it so much! Also, I know how you struggle with your mental stuff and it's really helped me with my own anxiety to know that other people feel the same and you talk so honestly about it. It makes me feel like I'm not alone and I'm not a bad person and everything to do with that. I wish I could go to conventions like sitc and everything because I really want to meet you. Lots of my school friends adore you as well. I hope to see you next year at some point because it would make me so happy!! Thank you for making such great content and music and being so open about your depersonalisation and depression and anxiety, you have no idea how much it has helped me. YOU'RE AMAZING!!! (btw I wish I could pull off glitter on my face like you) :)


dodie is one of the only humans who make me happy


Dodie, I had some thoughts that might help you with your depersonalolisation maybe. This is very long haha so the summary basically is try to read some Russ Harris books if you haven't already! It seems like you are often stuck in this cycle of "omg I'm depersonalised", which then triggers your brain because its a learned "bad" thing, then you have more negative thoughts like"will i ever feel normal again" which dont help with the anxiety/depression which then triggers more depersonalisation... and so on.
So basically I read an article a couple of years ago about how every time we have a thought and then a reaction to that thought we are actually creating and recreating PHYSICAL brain pathways- which is how habits are formed. You know all this but please keep reading! But every time we have a thought and catch ourselves and have a NEW reaction we create a new pathway that the brain can "go" down? I dont know how it works but the point is the more you practice the new thought-reaction combination the deeper the new pathway becomes until it replaces the old habit. I guess this is the basics of CBT so probably stuff that you already know, BUT theres more! There is a book called The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris that is all about combining CBT with mindfulness and it is based on that concept of creating new brain pathways but instead of doing it through having a negative thought like "im ugly" or "i feel really depersonalised right now" and then actively chasing and responding to that thought with "no im.not, stop thinking like that" or something, you are supposed to just notice that negative thought, let it sit and exist until.it fizzles away again. So the habit being created here is that the negative thought creates NO reaction, just a recognition if its existence as a bunch of words strung together to create a sentence in your brain.
The theory is that by actively trying to change the thought you sort of reiterate the idea that it's negative and needs to be changed so your brain has already gone down the negative pathway (and hence recreated it a bit more) and now needs to come back up i guess.... by using the mindfulness approach you sort of eliminate that part of the process and the new habit becomes more of a "cool, i'm.having a thought" reaction. And it takes the power away.
And breaks that cycle :)
This isnt going to cure you obviously but its something that might help with some part of that process i hope! Something to bring up with your therapist maybe. :)


that ending tho, i would have done the same ^^


omg dodie!! i really wanna meet you. you are the reason why i started playing the ukulele and singing. i'd love to get in contact with you, my instagram is taya_lyn_delorme . ❤


for me it felt like a snowballing effect. I had this one good moment, which turned into a good day, and it just kept building on itself until my anxiety was in the distant past. I'm sure I need to find a more permanent solution than "whoops it just went away one day and now I'm fine" because I'm still afraid of it coming back every day and I'm not 100% yet. but life is more bearable now and I can think clearer and actually actively fix my brain.

as for what triggered the good moment..... idk?? ? lol which is quite scary because I don't know how to stop the anxiety if it ever comes back. but I think traveling really helps, the change of environment refreshes your mind and every time I traveled I felt like I got one step further.

anyhow I shall conclude this by saying I love u SO MUCH and you will find a way to get better. <3


CBT has helped me more than words can say. I was in a bad place where I urgently needed therapy, so I went privately instead of waiting on the NHS-the only con is the money, but I honestly can't put a price on the therapist I have! I'd recommend going private if you really need it asap and keep searching until you find the right person-kind of like finding the right antidepressant. I'm now on a second SSRI and hopefully will do something this time :) you got this <3


Hey Dodie. I really missed you. I went on holiday and listened to YOU EP 24/7. I love u a lot and u have really helped me come to terms with my sexuality and my anxiety. Thanks for all you do.😚🖤💋hOlLy 😊 PS: Is now a good time to come out to my parents ( they both have gay brothers and I'm 13)


I relate. I get deeply attached to people quickly, and at the moment I'm really struggling to learn to let go of my teachers. I have dreams of them helping me, of me having conversations with them in made up scenarios, and I am given the motherly figure I so badly wish for. Yesterday, in my dream I heard my teacher talking to me, and it was so clear, which for me was sad, I haven't heard her voice since December. In our final conversation she told me it wasn't goodbye forever. I'm leaving for uni in 3 weeks, it's hard to come to terms with the fact it was goodbye. I felt like I've been waiting half a year to see her again, and it never happened.

Like now I'm a new person. I no longer go to the school where i found so many teachers to trust, to find hope and love in. Now it's all over and I'm on my own.


I literally imagine, ditching my phone, social media, flying to California, cutting and dying my hair and just leaving all my stuff behind and hoping to gain some clarity. Living in the sun. Reading books instead of clickbait and feeling content.


I have just been referred for CBT with EMDR ... apparently EMDR does exactly that, reconnects your brain to your heart etc. Might be worth looking into? x


Dodie, if I ever meet you, do I have permission to just give you a huge hug with minimal introduction?


Have you tried any medicine? I am on a wonderful meds for depression (Effexor) and i haven't felt this like myself for 4 years. I know people are scared it will change them but mental illness is NOT who you are. If you haven't tried any yet I hope you have considered it.

Also Dodie, I love you and you deserve to be happy. You don't know me but i would take away all of your pain and carry it away with me if i could. You are like a best friend to me. Do whatever it takes to get better.


Dodie, you don't have to close your eyes to do meditation/mindfulness if it makes you feel bad, it makes it easier to focus to be sure but you can do it without. There isn't just one way to meditate.


gotta love that yearning for a geographical cure. good luck with CBT/whatever comes next!

can't take credit, it's (as with a lot of smart, helpful things haha) a john greenism! :)

hahahah that's a great way of putting it


I feel the same way a lot. Most of the time I feel sad and alone and i can’t let go of what happened in the past and I’m a mess. But sometimes, I get this feeling, a feeling so familiar to me, because it’s just how I used to feel. And in those moments when everything seems okay, i’m okay. i think that it’s the things that create those little moments of happiness that we need to hold on to.


every once in a while I get a brief time of no anxiey/depression and it's. wild. honestly, you feel like you weigh so little and everything suddenly feels POSSIBLE and in those moments, I feel hope. because regularly, I'm almost sure it's impossible to truly get a healthy brain, but then those moments come and I think maybe I can get there, or at least a little closer someday.


It feels nice for we to talk about we dp because it makes me feel not alone in having this horrid disease. I love listening to the way she describes it because I had described it the same way my entire life and I've gotten 'just a phase'  or 'you'll grow out of it' or 'it's just an out of body experience' or 'it's nothing' and it's just so comforting and warming to know that it's an actual disease I can work through.  Ily dodie!!!


i have to say this but whenever i watch your videos i feel like ive been cleansed.....


Don't worry about posting all the time. You're doing a good job.


I know how it is to dream of traveling when I'm down. It starts when something in my life (I don't always know exactly what it is) makes me feel trapped - so then, the Prisoner's Prerogative (look it up if you don't know what it is - it FASCINATES me) kicks in and I WANT TO GET OUT OF THE TRAPPED FEELING. So, fuck the idea that you're "running away from your problems," friend - that's self-care, because travel generally makes you feel better, right? And it removes you from the environment you're in, right? So, if you can (with a psychologist/counselor, if you can't do it solo), I'd recommend thinking on what specifically makes you want to leave the life you have. It might not help you, because mental illness works differently for everyone, but for me, it disempowers that voice of discontent in my head that pushes me to just leave my life behind when I'm able to understand it explicitly.


Your dreams sound like they're lifelike and are more like memories,<br>All I dream about is being hunted, chased or just threatened

Your dreams sound like they're lifelike and are more like memories,
All I dream about is being hunted, chased or just threatened


This isn't something that will rewire my brain is just making a list of all the things you are stressed and sad about. It really helps to get it out of your system. Then it's easier to address things one at a time instead of having them overwhelm you.


the words at the very end are so relatable to my everyday life


Will you be doing a signed editions of your book? ❤


a bit of a weird tip, but i'd suggest rewatching your old videos and rereading your old instagram posts (mental health permitting). I've been feeling the same way for awhile and it was really easy to believe that i was experiencing life totally different a few months ago and everything is foggy and worse now, but this morning I read through all my old poetry on my phone and i was SO pleasantly shocked at the perspective it game me!! i don't know how to explain it, but i highly highly highly recommend it!!


I wish this wasn't triggering for me. I skipped to you and Josh part, and it made me grin listening to FUN and you two singing along. I'm grateful for that bit.


I have struggle with this a lot myself and I always listen to how you yearn for before that feeling of depersonalisation, when life felt good and real?  I tend to feel really lost and in some sort of void because I don't have any good in my past to hold on to and just sort of feel like there's nothing. It's hard to explain.  Sort of like being suspended I guess. Come from nowhere and nowhere to go.  Just sort of there for no particular reason.


I can relate because I used to cry every night and just couldn't calm down, and now I can just - go to bed and feel ok. One can only appreciate this silence when you've lost it before. I hope you find it again


Oh shit, I just got put on the waiting list for low level CBT yesterday that's so weirddddd


No matter where you go or what you do, your problems WILL follow you. The only solution is to tackle the problem head on!


I quite enjoyed the book Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, might want to check out a few excerpts from it if it's your kind of thing


Ugh, I also would just love to just get up and go Chris McCandless my way through a bit of my life (of course skipping the dying part) and experience the world and just live and try to escape my anxiety and depression and to get away from everyone and everything... But I'm like 16 and that's not an option for me


Hello!! This year I'm in i sophomore year and I'm taking honors English! We're doing an anthology paper on a topic in which we were able to choose ourselves. I chose depersonalization because it's something that my mom and I struggle with at times. If anyone has any books, short stories, short films, movies etc. that could connect to depersonalization and/or a character who goes through it, it would be so lovely of you to comment. I hope everyone has a nice night, evening, day, or morning and take a nice nap. Byeo


there's this thing where it's like physical therapy but for your brain and it's called rewiring your brain, I think buzzfeed did a vid about it but yeah you should totally check it out, I love you, stay strong Dodie 💚


It seems like you're ripe to do some running away. I believe you can be happy and at peace. I believe your desire for vivid experience and wholeness can aim you. I think all of these projections of ourselves that we put into screens can feel....heavy, small, strange, not good. Run away Dodie! Be FREE! However you go forward, I wish you well!


school starts tomorrow and im super anxious so im watching dodie to calm me down


hey dodes! very late and stuff but! i think you should read the chapter runaway which starts on pg 141 from connor's note to self which could kinda help you put what you're thinking about in perspective xo

i too have that urge and i just read the chapter and it brings me sanity and stuff 💛🌻


recently i've been thinking of times that you should try to live in the moment for (i don't actually have depersonalisation so you've either tried it or it just wouldn't work but nvm) like when you're eating really good food or on a theme park ride or just generally any other opportunity that won't come round again, or at least for a very long time. as i said it's probably useless


Something that has been helping me latley is kinda forcing myself to go out, to enjoy and he happy about it, to be silly and bubbly in public like i use to be before my depression and anxity and doing all this has been helping, i still have bad days of coures but thete starting to get fewer and far between.


I hope something ends up rewireing you brain. I just want you to be happy!


I love everything Dodie does, but...<br>Manager Josh in a thumbnail is an instant click from me.

I love everything Dodie does, but...
Manager Josh in a thumbnail is an instant click from me.


Do you have glowstick juice on your face? On another note, I hope your metal health inproves and you feel better! You are amazing!❤


Have you tried mindful meditation? I've been practicing for a bit and it's really helping. You need to keep at it though. It takes a bit to feel better and you have to work for it, but it WORKS.


I know this may sound weird and standart, but i am sure that you will get better soon ! And if taking a break is what you need, then just do it ! You dont have to do all this, maybe go travel a bit and if you are lucky you will meet new friends :). Also : if you need any help be sure we, your community,  will always be there to help you dealing with all this :).<br>Keep it up doodle

I know this may sound weird and standart, but i am sure that you will get better soon ! And if taking a break is what you need, then just do it ! You dont have to do all this, maybe go travel a bit and if you are lucky you will meet new friends :). Also : if you need any help be sure we, your community,  will always be there to help you dealing with all this :).
Keep it up doodle


HIGHLY recommend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to anyone with mental illness. <br>I went for my chronic fatigue and anxiety and it really helped! Hope that you feel better by doing CBT Dodie, it's nice as a viewer seeing you so enthusiastic as to achieving good mental health. I don't mean this in a mean way, but it's much more pleasant to watch as a viewer compared to when you film while you're feeling very unwell. We all do it, but in that state of mind one can be very negative.

HIGHLY recommend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to anyone with mental illness.
I went for my chronic fatigue and anxiety and it really helped! Hope that you feel better by doing CBT Dodie, it's nice as a viewer seeing you so enthusiastic as to achieving good mental health. I don't mean this in a mean way, but it's much more pleasant to watch as a viewer compared to when you film while you're feeling very unwell. We all do it, but in that state of mind one can be very negative.


as someone who writes a lot of poetry and travels a lot, I tend to stare out the window with my music on. But I always make sure I have it in a certain order, I'll have the depressed songs go first so I can let my brain be upset, then I move on to what I call fiction music. For me this is soundtracks from video games like undertale, pokemon, etc. I let the music take me back to that place where I can be anything I want to be, where I have support from a perfect world. And I let myself be content in that music, I feel happy. Then I play my thinking songs. Songs about things that are irrelevant to my life, and imagine that someone else be that party animal or love struck heart. That happiness that's just barely coming through I try to push out with songs like tongue tied, bellyache, ect. I think about how the world is so full of emotions and happiness and ideas. And that i can do and not do as much as everyone else. That when I feel like I'm floating away, I can get myself back by knowing that I am just like everyone else, my brains just has a couple loose wires. If you end up seeing this dodie, I'm not sure if it helps but I really hope it does. This is about all the tips I've got.


oh boy now I'm gonna have Some Nights stuck in my head again for days


EMDR IT HELPS TO REWIRE YOUR BRAIN LOOK INTO IT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE (well it was for me anyway)


I have the same kind of thing where i dont really feel alive or in the moment but just kindof spaced out all the time but the thng is im only 13 and i first started feeling like this when i was about 10 i dont feel depressed or anything, im just spaced out


About mindfulness, though it may help for finding some peace, I also experienced that it makes me feel more spaced out, because you turn inwards, in stead of outwards, if you get what I mean?


I find something that helps my depression (I don't have any experience with depersonalization, sorry) is doing weird things.
Not mountain-climbing necessarily, but things you haven't done or don't ordinarily do. And doing it without expectations. Without building up in your head how it's gonna be perfect. Just going in and going with it. This works even better if you have (as I have) a friend who'll just drag you off on an adventure or make you try something. Even just little things, like exploring a part of town you've never been to, or a new flavor can stop you thinking about your own thoughts and knock you back into the present moment. One more thing: it works better the fewer obligations, plans, and other mental/emotional baggage associated with it. That family holiday that's been planned months in advance is more likely to have expectations, stress (where's my toothbrush? we'll be late for our flight!) and any underlying tensions/unresolved issues you have with family members (even ones you aren't conscious of). A day trip to the countryside with a friend or two, a veggie platter, and a good record is much better. Or climbing on top of a building to look at the night sky.
Just my little thoughts.

I find something that helps my depression (I don't have any experience with depersonalization, sorry) is *doing weird things.*
Not _mountain-climbing_ necessarily, but things you haven't done or don't ordinarily do. And doing it without expectations. Without building up in your head how it's gonna be perfect. Just going in and going with it. This works even better if you have (as I have) a friend who'll just drag you off on an adventure or make you try something. Even just little things, like exploring a part of town you've never been to, or a new flavor can stop you thinking about your own thoughts and knock you back into the present moment. One more thing: it works better the fewer obligations, plans, and other mental/emotional baggage associated with it. That family holiday that's been planned months in advance is more likely to have expectations, stress (where's my toothbrush? we'll be late for our flight!) and any underlying tensions/unresolved issues you have with family members (even ones you aren't conscious of). A day trip to the countryside with a friend or two, a veggie platter, and a good record is much better. Or climbing on top of a building to look at the night sky.
Just my little thoughts.


I'll be meeting you at vidcon Australia, and I'm really worried! Make sure to look after yourself! You are always so busy with other conventions in America, I'm going to make sure to remind you to take care when I meet you!


i do the same thing. i have dreams of living in a cabin in the woods with nature and a dog but the reality of that is that that leaves me so much time to be alone in my thoughts id die within 3 months


PLEASE!! do a whole cover of that FUN song!!!


I just wanted to say I love the subtle Harry Potter reference at the end 😋❤


You sound like you're still very peturbed by your symptoms. How long have you had it now and is it episodes or constant? The mind heals when it heals its different for everyone so don't lose hope. I know when I dream I can remember the whole dream and even reference back to earlier parts, its just when I wake up I'll have a sudden thought and then boom - the memory of everything I've just dreamt is gone. Keep on keeping on :)


DODIE! I was literally in JFK one week before you sitting in the same area for a super long layover as well!!! IF ONLY I FLEW BACK LATERRRRR. That would have been boss to meet you. Whatever. I'm over it. (not really.)


On the topic of running away, Rosianna made a really great video on this topic called 'The Fallacy of the Geographical Cure' and I would highly recommend it!


You need to know that you are not JUST moving along in life, it almost seems that u don't realize how many lives you have connected with by talking about yours. I love you. -Lauren Y.


what you explain at 2:07 happens to me, but in real life, it's like someone presses a switch in my brain and just suddenly i feel like i'm inside some memory. it's weeeird


when dodie harmonizes with fun. while playing at jfk


I can feel your frustration at not feeling the way you want to. I can only say that it will get better eventually. <br>The ending to this is wonderful, and I hope you enjoy D.C.! I live in DC, but I can't come to Playlist. Look out for the dinosaurs!

I can feel your frustration at not feeling the way you want to. I can only say that it will get better eventually.
The ending to this is wonderful, and I hope you enjoy D.C.! I live in DC, but I can't come to Playlist. Look out for the dinosaurs!


does anyone just feel this deep feeling in their chest when they're sad? I do, it's annoying. I want it gone.


Dear Dodie Clark,

I do not feel embarassed when you talk about your mental health issues. They are many times very relatable to me. I will support you in your journey, to the extent in which I am capable to do so.

We love you Dodie! Feel free to be who you want to be, whatever that means....

Yours faithfully,
Bart de Haas (from The Netherlands)


Where did you get the frames for your glasses I'm obsessed ☺


Tip for anyone also attempting to rewire their brain Derren Brown's Happy: Why more or less everything is absolutely fine. It helped me so much.


thank u so much for talking about it it helps me soo much


I can relate soooo mutch because I am in a similar situaition. But I think I can fix it I hope so much that I can. Everything is better than staying in a situation that is unhealthy for me. <br>Love 💐🌼🌹

I can relate soooo mutch because I am in a similar situaition. But I think I can fix it I hope so much that I can. Everything is better than staying in a situation that is unhealthy for me.
Love 💐🌼🌹


"Moving to America... becoming a hippie"<br>Oh Dodie you're fantastic

"Moving to America... becoming a hippie"
Oh Dodie you're fantastic


I feel like youtube is a really hard job for people like us because you just spend so much time by yourself and you're held to such ridiculous standards, just being out and doing things always helps


How can you travel so much. It's one of my anxieties I would have a melt down 😱💕x


1. I thought Josh was drinking ketchup in the ending lol haha that'd be funnier than booze
2. I GOT THAT HARRY POTTER REFERENCE AYYEE Sept. 1 the first day at Hogwarts ayyeee
3. I'm so proud that you are starting to get to a place where you can be better. I hope that it all works out well for you in the end and I can't wait to see how happy you become.


Fun. is one of my favorite bands and I had a similar reaction to hearing it in this vlog. 😂


God I love you and god I love josh, have fun travelling 💛


i hope you all the best, with rest, you'll come back with zest.


Can you do a ukelele collection video???? Love you 💕


uuuuh. my mom went on like a month long backpacking and hiking trip in peru to mentally heal around the time of sitc. i don't think it was a show though. but can you imagine if my mom met dodie?!


I also dream of running away... the irony is it's the struggle that makes me want to that also makes planning anything like that feel too big


I don't know what's happening to me.... A lot has changed in my life recently but now things have settled down and something has happened in my brain. I've forgotten who I am and what I enjoy doing and I don't really feel anything. I don't really talk to my family either, I just put on a smile and pretend to be happy for my friends. I've been rewatching all of dodies videos that used to make me cry or laugh or just feel things, but I still feel nothing. Its the weirdest thing: to not be really sad but still feel so dissconected and feel nothing all at the same time. I'm so lost.


@ everyone going through depersonalisation or not feeling real and panicking over it, I've been going through the same thing and I'm starting gcse's in 4 days. But someone replied to one of my comments a few weeks back (shoutout to that guy) and I started meditating. Like 3 minutes a day. If anyone's going through it seriously try and clear a bit of space in your mind. I thought meditating was bullshit but it's slowly helping me reconnect my mind with what's going on around me. Please, please try it. I was hopeless about two weeks ago but I think I'm going to be okay. Good luck to everyone suffering ily


I'm not trying to be negative, but I'm gunna tell you my experience with trying to rewire my brain. It's extremely easy to feel and if you play the right music, and have the right things around you, you think that you are going to succeed but it ends up getting extremely hard to keep up.


Nice Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets reference at the end there 👌🏻 as for rewiring your brain tips... here are some tips I have. For one, I recently just made a lil list of all the things I tend to do when I'm feeling depressed and low. Basically like a list of "warning signs". This is good, because then when you spot your self doing these things, you'll know to practice healthy coping skills instead. This'll help you rewire, because you can catch yourself and stop doing the immediate gratification bad coping skill warning sign stuff, and rewire your response to do healthy things that have long term healthy effects. Journal, draw, sing, take a shower/bath, call a good friend, go for a walk/drive, listen to music, dance, exercise, cook, eat something healthy, or just sit and let yourself feel. Takes a lot of hard work and self control to pull yourself away from the immediately gratifying and comforting things, but eventually its habit forming and you'll find yourself doing the healthy stuff first. This may not solve everything, but it will make it easier and put you in a better place to solve other issues. ❤ you Dodie!


Dodies when you get to Australia look for beyond blue and headspace, they're really good for advice online, in real life and many other forms of communication. I personally use beyond blues knowledge pages so far to get me through because headspace costs money. But I know headspace has a hella nice looking app that could be very helpful. Hope this can help. xoxo


I actually liked this video and I related ™ a lot, good luck


I too dream of being a hippie,  leaving all your problems and worries behind and living in the moment, constantly on the go.  Learning and experiencing new things.  At the moment my minds a scary place and the idea of just adventuring and being on the move sounds wonderful.


I have a question -- it might sound strange -- but when you add text to your videos, I'm assume you're fully aware that they're never on the screen long enough to be read? Lol do you want us to hit pause and read? Because I always do haha


Firstly It's fine you didn't fail! You didn't post every day but you took time for yourself so you could spend time with your family. I know what you mean about never feeling present and feeling like you're just plodding along. All last school year i felt like that, constantly looking forward to the holidays never appreciating what was in front of me. So much so that when the holidays did arrive they weren't as good as I expected. I spent most of my summer holidays looking forward to other things in the holidays like going camping or going to Sicily. Now the holidays are over and I realise how I just let a whole year go past barely appreciating any of it until it was over. Year 9 was supposed to be the last care free year before I started exams for the next 4 years of school but now it's over and I have nothing to look forward to except the next lot of holidays. However this year I'm really going to try and appreciate each day as it comes and not count down until the holidays. I'm going to start by doing little things like listing/writing down 1 good thing that happened each day and make sure if I can't think of anything then I'll do something that makes me smile/. Anyway I know no one will read this but I just needed to get the rant out and if dodie you are reading this (by some miracle) no you are not alone.


Just teach yourself to see everything as it is. Not darker. I've been there, and honestly, what helped me a lot was just thinking everything has a beautiful side to them, and then I'd work on seeing it. I started by collecting quotes, then watching the dusk and the dawn, then the stars, then going to the park and watching the birds flying and the trees dancing in the slow wind. I wetted my socks in the rain. Then I did confidence exercise in the mirror, calling myself a babe and bursting into tears because I was laughing. Life is shit usually, but there's always something that's worth getting better to see a brighter tomorrow if you dig deep enough. (I really hope you read this and get better, no one deserves feeling bad, especially you)


That thing you mentioned about running away and throwing away your phone is so odd because I just finished writing a song about someone who just decided to leave everything but their car keys and wallet and ran away without a word... I totally get what you mean tho


dodie you should totally do a cover of some nights!


I have these times where I feel like I'm Scrooge in a Christmas carol; Looking into a world without me in if that makes sense?... I feel so alone and crappy


I'm starting CBT soon because I've been having counselling for months and it's not working. I'm so nervous for it just like I was before counselling even though it actually helped me get a long way it's not just getting me any better and that's why I'm gonna have CBT. I hope that it will work and I hope that it will work for you too.

Erin Horne Good luck!! I wish you the best.


Try to spend as much time as possible with the people who love and support you, the ones that make you feel safe and content. Do the things that make you happiest, but don't force yourself to enjoy them. Listen to your favourite music; notice all the little things in life, like how the stars shine and birds sing. And try to get rid of the things / people that make you unhappy or stressed. Hope you feel better soon 💙


Hellu I'm just a person who you don't know, but...Dodie you are incredibly motivated and willing to push yourself to your limit if it means acheiving your goals: YouTube, EPs, a book for heavens sake! And because your mental health is something you desire to overcome and conquer, I believe you will, because that's just who you are. You're not stuck, you're strong. You're smart. You're sassy. You are a light to others even in your darkest moments. Good luck with the next month of insanity ✌❤


I died when I read the end that said ' so I'll probably be in my room makingnonoiseandpretendingthatIdon't exist' I love Harry Potter references


I was in a pretty dark place last year - I was working too many shifts at a job I despised, I was absolutely hating learning to drive (still hate driving but I can do it now) and I was stressed about my exams and my huge looming future that I still don't know what to do with. I went on this family holiday to New York, and I expected it to solve all my problems. I needed a break, and I wanted to forget all my stress. But I didn't, I just took my issues with me and thought about what my future would be after the holiday. So I think the key to solving your problems, is to accept that they are there, and try to cope with them the best that you can.

I was thinking about when you say that you haven't been the same since you were 17, and I think I can relate. I've always been an anxious individual for reasons I'm not to be blamed for, but when I was about 15, I had this huge anxious episode and ever since, I've been more aware of my anxiety and it's been more pronounced since then. I think I've accepted it now I'm 19, that I probably won't be as content as I was before my anxiety hit me properly, but that's okay. I can deal with it when it comes and goes, and I'm not so tired of it. It still affects me, and sometimes I wish I could go back, but I just can't go back and one day maybe it will all be alright.


I know it's probably a rare experience with what helped my brain? I'm not one of those people that doesn't go to doctors when I get sick, and depression/suicidal thoughts daily wasn't any different.. but nothing seemed to work AT ALL. Then one day I went into my doctor for migraines, and she told me to try some B-2 vitamins and magnesium before putting me on actual suppressants. WITHIN A WEEK my migraines were no longer a 3-5 day ordeal, and HOLY GOODNESS MY BRAIN STARTED IMPROVING. It's been about 4-5 months since I started this, and I can't say I have depression anymore... maybe it's a placebo? Idk? But if nothing seems to help you could try this (I mean it's probably a bit cheaper and you don't need a prescription). Again, I'm not one of the people who thinks that regular medicine is evil, and I'm really all for going to doctors and therapy and that stuff, but if you don't have access/would like to try something else, vitamins really worked for me :)


dodie im very very happy you haven't stopped talking about mental health after your oversharing video, i thought you may feel apprehensive to talk about it at all. but i feel it's a great thing to normalise it :)))


Well dodie, my main issue is anxiety, so imma relate everything back to that.

But it helps me to remember that your body doesn't react because you feel a thing, you feel a thing because of how you've reacted. For example, that jumpy feeling isn't because you are scared, you get that jumpy feeling (fight or flight lol) and your brain notices it and is like 'oh we should be scared let's do that'.

So if you feel anxious, don't be like 'man my heart is beating so fast because I'm anxious', instead try thinking 'I'm anxious because my heart is beating fast and I'm having hot sweats' then try and combat those things, do things that slow your heart rate, control your breathing, drink some cold water, put a fan on yourself, EAT SOMETHING, HEALTHY, SUBSTANCE.

This can really help me but it'll never be a quick fix, but you'll get there and look back in however long and be v proud of yourself, I know I'm proud of you.

All my love and best wishes xxxx


aw i missed ur vids dodie (it hasn't even been that long woops) and i hate how your men's to health is and i wish i could help :( *hugs*💛


Where did you get your glasses? they are so cute! Btw love your videos!


I had years of just plodding along. Some kind of metal sleep of just day to day routine, work stress, anxious about all the what ifs of the future, some life goals that got manipulated into my head with these arbitrary age dates (like at this age such n such, etc). As all that was going on I had my music and my martial arts as coping and growth parts of my life that I felt like I could control. That was a lot of my 20s. Getting bogged down, tune out, head down and work. Just make it to the next week. I did have some moments of clarity and "I need to go do this!". I had waves of depression that I eventually figured out and coped by going to Disneyland. I'm probably going to talk about it in my VEDS in a few weeks. Just getting myself out of the house and to a very familiar place that has a nostalgia factor but still I'm around a lot of people who were generally in a good mood. I might need to go see a therapist, but with everything that's happened to me in the last two years things have changed drastically for the better. Good luck with your CBT. Disneyland will still be there when you visit again.


Hello!! First of all, have fun in DC (it's where I live :D) and if you want, there's a little town-ish thing called Westover about 15-30 minutes outside DC (by car) that's great for dinner and a short walk (Lost Dog is the place to go for dinner). About brain stuff: have you heard of EMDR therapy? I don't know much about it but I believe it quite literally rewires the brain through motion (not surgery, it's external)? I think? Not entirely sure but it might be worth looking up :D I hope you feel better soon!!


I have OCD and psychosis, I am constantly preoccupied with my obsessions and never feel content or 'present' I constantly have an overwhelming feeling of worry and dread and panic, and the fact i can never feel content in the moment causes me to become seriously depressed, it's so frustrating and annoying, people who don't suffer from mental illness honestly don't know how lucky they are.


Part of my sadness circle is constantly thinking that any other person in the same situation as me would get something out of it that I'm not, go in a direction I can't go in, have that life changing epiphany during important life changes. I just stand there and think it's not happening and for someone else it would be. I don't even know if this makes sense.


Nice little video, this was weirdly refreshing to watch lol idk how


OK! I have a suggestion for something that might be worth trying out! Hypnotherapy! I had a couple mental issues and hypnotherapy has helped me SO MUCH. Basically, it's where you get put into hypnosis (the most relaxing comforting warm feeling by the way) and the therapist just sorts things out with your subconscious mind. They can help you reprogram your brain like you were saying you wanted. At least give it a look sometime... I wish you the best of luck on your journey dodie <3

of course!! maybe try it out and see if it's right for you <3

Update: I did some research and apparently hypnotherapy is super good for depersonalization! It also can help you find the true root of your disorder. Highly suggest


That was my Jam back in the day. We need more fun....


that Harry Potter reference at the end though😏 We love u Dodie


Oh well don't mind me or my comment that's gonna be lost in this section, but I'm currently crying because you mentioned Peru, my country and then you said you wouldn't accept climbing the mountain. I actually had a minimum hope for meeting you and now it's gone again. I still love you and your music and videos 💛💛💛


I keep meaning to read Rewire your Anxious Brain by Catherine m pitman but my apathy keeps getting in the way. It comes strongly recommended.


first off,,, happy thougts?

second, i love you, and you deserve to be happy. ever since i was fourteen, maybe even earlier, i've been dipping into and out of these large chunks of my life where i just fall into nothing. there are always things that drive me into these holes. at fourteen, it was hating myself and my body because somebody had convinced me that i was too fat to be beautiful. this insecurity and fear of never being loved followed me for years, and still does now. between the ages of fifteen to about last year, it was that. any boy who approached me, any suggestion of a romantic relationship, i'd push away aggressively. i was terrified they'd grow tired, realize i wasn't worth their love, and reject me. so i would reject them first. now, it's abusive friendships/non-romantic relationships that have been consuming me. i won't go into it, but it's been different every time; emotional abuse, physical abuse. i've been literally told i wasn't good enough, time and time again.

but i'm growing through it. i'm figuring it out. every time, i have to remind myself that. i love myself and i deserve to be happy.


I know cbt didn't work for me but I really hope it works for you, I'm still trying this new medication I know I'm not great , but at least I want to improve and so I hope you can too


I hope that CBT goes well for you Dodie. Unfortunately I don't have much advice since I've been depressed for five years (so nothing's really worked lol), but taking part in brain exercises and actual physical exercise helps me a lot with being calmer and thinking more clearly (it is basic stuff, but honestly it made so much of a difference that I was shocked).


You need to listen to, "Hello My Old Heart" by The Oh Hellos. It's so beautiful and you should do a cover of it. I guarantee you'll cry the first time you'll hear it.


Getting pretty excited for the first Australian VidCon! 😊


I had this week somewhere this summer idk when but I felt really happy and not anxious and Just content it was good I struggle with depressive periods but my main problem is overwhelming anxiety both in social situations and just in general and it felt so weird after all these years (like 2 and half not like 12 years) to just finally feel okay at first I was worried why I was acting so different why I had so much hope and my mind was clear ans j felt like I could positively take on the world and live my dreams then I realized that's me I'm not sarcastic or cynical or mean that's the mental me the one taken over my anxiety and sadness after that I wondered what ever happened to the shy but happy girl who wanted to be a cheerleader and do 100% in school always I miss it but I didn't realize till then but it gave me hope to carry on ans get better and you dodie can do a great job to make me smile and be happy for just a second and I hope that you get better and you can be happy and content in life


while watching some of your videos and you talk about how you’ve been, i wrote about he i felt of a day to day bases. i know you probably won’t read this or whatever. it’s too long. but i jut want to get it out there.

how i feel day to day:
i don’t feel the numb everyone thinks depression. the informais numb. i can never  say how i feel. i feel gone s lot. it sounds stupid. when bad things happen i put myself in my own head, i feel not where ever i may be at the time. i feel not me. that’s so weird. it’s hard to answer question. even the general like, what’d you do yesterday. i don’t remember what i learn in school non of it. maybe it’s because i’m stupid or because i’m not here. i motion though life without ever thinking about it. i wish i had a name for it.
i also go though huge mood drops. but everyone says that’s what happens when you’re a teen (my drops range from feeling awesome and great like i could do anything to feeling like i don’t want to live anymore).
back to my emotional state, there’s nothing there but there’s still something my stomach turns my head aches and burns my throat feels half closed, always. i get scared so easily if you simply raise a hand i flinch and kids at school think it’s weak.
i just kind of exist. but existing and living are different things. sometimes it’s like i’m watching a movie of my life. it it isn’t my life it’s it my body and someone elses voice in someone else’s clothes. i feel like not me ever.
i don’t know if you (as in anyone) got that or if you read it. if you did thanks. im sorry and thanks again.


Dodie, if you want to try grounding yourself. try to notice five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste [even if its just your tongue] its helps with my anxiety, but not sure of its effect on depersonalization...much love :D


Has Dodie announced the dates for her book tour yet? I can't seem to find it anywhere


When I watch your videos i just want to scream "POOOND!! AMYY PONNNNND!!"


Not sure if dodie will see this but oh well: I used to get some really mild depersonalization (or something similar) when I was really struggling with anxiety, and one of the things that I found helped me was meditation/visualization. Meditation can be hard to get in to- just sitting in silence and 'concentrating on your breathing' never worked for me because I just could not stop all of my thoughts, but guided meditation and visualization pretty much walks you through different scenes. It'll describe like a forest, and talk about what you hear, how the grass feels under your feet, etc., and I found myself able to stop thinking and just focus on what I was visualizing. Then when the mediation ended I would feel a lot more grounded and content. It's not a permanent fix but it can help during those days where you just feel frozen and don't know what to do.


I love when Manger Josh is in your videos!


i like to run away in my head. it's a shame when i realise it's a false reality


Ok now I really wanna hear a full cover of Some Nights


i dont really know if this will help but i will say that like the many thousands of fans and human beings behind you, we can relate. at least i can. i was in a mental state of mind where i could not get hope to shine into my brain. it was hard and when i tried it just made me feel worse and sucked in more and more exhaustion because of the fact that i tried too hard. dodie, you seem like the type of person who in certain if not most situations depend on the words of yourself to help and comfort you. sure like the billions of people out there, you turn to your friends for support and comfort. just like i did. but you don't believe anything until you say it and prove it to yourself. that is the same for me. i need my words to help me. so i suggest maybe telling yourself over and over that you are in control. dont let the illnesses take control over your beautiful body. take back that control dodie cause in the end you've got this. you make the decisions in the end and sure regrets will come but take your happiness back. your happiness is inside of you, waiting to be discovered. it was always there. it's a human emotion just tucked away. but you can get it back. i hope i helped but heckle you probably aren't reading this lol. but i hope someone does and i hope helped. :)


I'll start this comment saying that I'm one of the lucky few people that have gotten over their depression and anxiety at an early age. I'm only 17 and I'm going to do my best to share my secret with anyone that has troubles not just dodie. The only important backstory I'll bore you with is that I've had a pretty shit upbringing and I barely had a childhood as I've had to mature quickly to survive my family and the people around me, which lead to some problems such as anxiety and depression and even some extreme psychotic episodes that i thought for a bit were schizophrenia which thank god it wasn't. What i found that worked is to do your best to focus on the good part of any given situation no matter how hard it may be or how bad you feel. Doing the best you can do in any situation and knowing you're doing your best and giving your all usually helps with feeling like you're accomplishing something so you feel less bad about yourself. Find people to add into your life that are extremely positive just about all the time, people that don't have many or any issues at all as simply being around people like that will lift your mood and help with your mental state, the people you hang around with have a huge impact on how you think and if it's any credit I'm taking a psychology class as well as having had to learn how people think to survive where i am.

TL;DR and bonus Honestly just find some happy friends, don't worry about negative feelings and try to keep positive no matter how hard because life is tough and you have to be tougher and always do your best with everything you do. Always remember that life gets better and you need to keep drilling it into your head that it gets better because it really does. Don't let yourself stay low and down, you have a life to live and nothing can stop you from living it.

I'll start this comment saying that I'm one of the lucky few people that have gotten over their depression and anxiety at an early age. I'm only 17 and I'm going to do my best to share my secret with anyone that has troubles not just dodie. The only important backstory I'll bore you with is that I've had a pretty shit upbringing and I barely had a childhood as I've had to mature quickly to survive my family and the people around me, which lead to some problems such as anxiety and depression and even some extreme psychotic episodes that i thought for a bit were schizophrenia which thank god it wasn't. What i found that worked is to do your best to focus on the good part of any given situation no matter how hard it may be or how bad you feel. Doing the best you can do in any situation and knowing you're doing your best and giving your all usually helps with feeling like you're accomplishing something so you feel less bad about yourself. Find people to add into your life that are extremely positive just about all the time, people that don't have many or any issues at all as simply being around people like that will lift your mood and help with your mental state, the people you hang around with have a huge impact on how you think and if it's any credit I'm taking a psychology class as well as having had to learn how people think to survive where i am.

*TL;DR and bonus* Honestly just find some happy friends, don't worry about negative feelings and try to keep positive no matter how hard because life is tough and you have to be tougher and always do your best with everything you do. Always remember that life gets better and you need to keep drilling it into your head that it gets better because it really does. Don't let yourself stay low and down, you have a life to live and nothing can stop you from living it.


do have any tips on dealing with panic? Not attacks but just in general, I listen to Dodie's music a lot and that helps a TON, but unfortunately can't listen to it 24/7 :(


I find that I get into my own head a lot.  I'm always thinking of this quintessential version of myself and my life and I find that makes me quite unhappy with my present. So I try to make myself be more present.  I use mindfulness.  I'm currently reading The Little Book of Mindfulness by Dr Patrizia Collard. I carry it around as a reminder to stop myself from thinking about anything that isn't what is currently happening.  I focus on what my senses are feeling when I begin to feel detatched.  But it's a process, and a hard one at that. I hope anyone else who is feeling this way can find something that helps them.


The harry potter quote at the end! Perfect timing as today is the "19 years later" And "all was well."


i wish i could just take everyone's problems away. it's shit knowing i can't do anything to help :(


i'm so SICK of being <b>mentally</b> sick and i just want to feel normal again, but i have no clue what normal feels like and it's just so much easier to stay in this state of depression and anxiety and ocd and depersonalisation, because the feeling of normal is unknown and i'm terrified of the unknown

i'm so SICK of being *mentally* sick and i just want to feel normal again, but i have no clue what normal feels like and it's just so much easier to stay in this state of depression and anxiety and ocd and depersonalisation, because the feeling of normal is unknown and i'm terrified of the unknown


I hope one day you can say you're okay, and mean it.


Ahhhhh that thumbnail is just so <b>PERFECT</b>

Ahhhhh that thumbnail is just so *PERFECT*


neuro plasticity is a thing :) (that means yes to a certain extent people can rewire their brains) but it'll be the hardest thing you'll ever do. I'm suffering from very mean/dramatic/destructive intrusive thoughts and I genuinely don't know how to deal with it, because "shushing them away" feels a lot like repressing them and that's not good


getting off twitter completely helps so much its literally an evil machine


HI DODIE I REALLY LOVE YOU YOU ARE THE REASON I WANT A UKULELE AND I CUT MY HAIR SHORT BECAUSE YOU GAVE THE IDEA THAT I CAN STILL DO EIGHTISH THINGS TO MY SHORT HAIR I LOVE YOU OKAY BYE


Something i learned from mother is that a lot more important things happen in our unconciousnes than reality.Dreams can say something about you that you are not yet  realising.So maybe if you find some meaning in what has happend in your unconciousnes,that can help you realise how to fix it.Sometimes we do things(bad and good)unconciously that make differences in our lives.Also,what helps me in staying present is just trying to forget the past and not worry about the future and pick the things that make me happy now.Also breathing.Very deeply.Or thinking about the things that seem timeless(dont have to do with present or the future).Hope it helps!(also sorry if i misspelled something):)


Yeah i feel the need to escape sometimes. Funny that you said you want to run away to America cause I want to run away to Europe. I guess just no matter where we grew up we want to get out. for like a short moment i want to be home though because i went on a "vacation" as well and got pretty homesick (and realizing that my city is pretty cool compared to a lot of places). But my real problem is comparing my mental state to wherever I am when I know that it's an internal problem, not an exterior. But I blame my habitat when I know that I actually will have depression no matter where I am. So that's probably the main thing I should work on.


I mean it worked prett well for ed sheeran. Dodie, after your book tour is done, if you feel like the best thing for you would be to take an extensive break, we promise we'll be here when you come back. <3


Hi Dodie. I'm interested in the comment about mindfulness in the description. Mindfulness is a state of mind that cannot be attained, only accessed. It is something that is already within you and perhaps (?) the feeling of dissociation is due to you seeing that state as something other than yourself that needs to be reached. Really it's about a switch of awareness. I've watched your videos for many years now and had some similar struggles. I'm sorry you have to endure such dissociation and disorder. I have found a real presence and awareness over the years that has grounded me in the midst of all feelings of dissociation (which still occur, but are no longer a source of disparity or inconvenience). You seem to be an extremely dynamic and tender person and I truly hope you find peace within you and that it will provide guidance to your life. I wish I could talk to you about this but I doubt that will ever happen so I'm hoping this comment will reach you and reassure you that what you are looking for is already inside you and it's not so much about rewiring your brain as it is about gaining awareness and shifting your mental presence. It's not easy when your brain was not wired to cope with man made life, however it is completely natural and when things do shift for you, you'll realise how special you are to be so instinctively connected to some very real things that have been lost from the grasp of the people who seem to be living a happy and easy life. Xx


For rewiring your brain its just constant practice. Practice your happy thoughts. Practice grounding yourself. Practice Practice Practice. You literally have to forge new pathways in your brain then they will become automatic! :) Allso i would strongly recommend trying as hard as you can to not think about the future. In my experience, i would think so much about future events and focus on how amazing they would be, and in the end it just made me way more anxious and let down. So now, I only ever let myself think about hypothetical situations. If it has any amount of reality in it, i try to not think about it. Which is super hard, i just hope you see this and it helps you a little bit Dodie. Also keep persevering with finding a good therapist! Im so glad you havent given up.<br>But ayo this video made me realise just how depressed i was a couple months ago. I always felt like since i wasnt suicidal it wasnt quite that bad. But oh man i so regularly wanted to just disappear. Move to another country, leave everything behind and start a new life. But one day my counselling just clicked, and now school doesnt make me want to cry and i cant even remember the last time i had a breakdown. Im still constantly making sure my brain is thinking in the right way, but im far happier now. To anyone who reads this, youll be okay <3

For rewiring your brain its just constant practice. Practice your happy thoughts. Practice grounding yourself. Practice Practice Practice. You literally have to forge new pathways in your brain then they will become automatic! :) Allso i would strongly recommend trying as hard as you can to not think about the future. In my experience, i would think so much about future events and focus on how amazing they would be, and in the end it just made me way more anxious and let down. So now, I only ever let myself think about hypothetical situations. If it has any amount of reality in it, i try to not think about it. Which is super hard, i just hope you see this and it helps you a little bit Dodie. Also keep persevering with finding a good therapist! Im so glad you havent given up.
But ayo this video made me realise just how depressed i was a couple months ago. I always felt like since i wasnt suicidal it wasnt quite that bad. But oh man i so regularly wanted to just disappear. Move to another country, leave everything behind and start a new life. But one day my counselling just clicked, and now school doesnt make me want to cry and i cant even remember the last time i had a breakdown. Im still constantly making sure my brain is thinking in the right way, but im far happier now. To anyone who reads this, youll be okay <3


I know dodie won't see this! But CBT is tough and it works but you have to really try! Life changes and stuff. It's the same with medication. It doesn't fix it straight away but it helps. ❤ I hope she feels better soon. I've been there and it fuckin sucks. Lots of love


CBT is a wonderful form of therapy, another solution if you feel like it isn't a good fit is DBT, it's a little bit similar but it covers so many different aspects of what effects our mental health. I have depersonalization and derealization as well as a few other diagnoses and DBT saved my life. I'm on the path to a life worth living and I've never felt more hopeful. I would suggest researching it!


YOU SHOULD DO A COVER OF SOME NIGHTS I LOVE THAT SONG


i moved to Canada for a year and over-romanticised it as this big year of escaping and then when i got there i was happy but also MISERABLE so i totally get it. wherever you go, there you are!


Yah, throw that fear on replace it with a courage!


Dodie is literal visual therapy. She is so therapeutic.


i adore manager josh. He seems like a great friend for Dodie.


You behavior and emotions relay strongly on the well rooted schemes in your brain. Those schemes are sometimes logical and have a "normal" feedback - i.e. your mum hugs you - you feel safe and secure and loved, just an example, if indeed during most of your life you felt that way when your mum hugs you. There is a pattern in your brain that goes from hug + mum = nice feels. These schemes also exist for situations that are risky, dangerous or what have you. But, sometimes these schemes we kinda makes ourselves trough life, are not the most "healthy" ones. For example, mine goes like this: airplanes - death = panic. I have so many times gone down this lane that it became a pattern in my brain, and now it is very difficult for me to not go straight into that sort of mindset that results in an anxiety attack. But, I became aware of the "non healthy" pattern that makes me feel in a way I do not like, and what I do now, is practice new brain patterns that can help my brain literally rewire itself. Airplane - very safe means of transport, takes you places you like, you like traveling i.e. plane is good. Something like that. You can write those things out and then make a conscious effort to thing about the new, positive patterns. It takes time and effort, but it really does help.


For people in 8th and 9th grade suffering with depression and anxiety because of school. Don't give up. I thought id never get out of my mental illness but now I'm im a new school and everything is so much better, my depression is almost gone and my anxiety has way less power over me. I'd also advice you to go to art school or take drama classes or something, just something that makes you happy. Because even though it might not be beneficial to your future job or shit like that, it will make high school so much more fun and endurable. And tbh if you have a mental illness, that is priority number one. Follow your heart


I hope you had a nice fligt. I'm sending you all of the happy thougts thoug.


I managed to get there while I was scuba diving in Guam back in the 80s.Might be worth the trip if you can find the time to get dive certified. It's a magical kind of floating suspended neutrally buoyant in the water only rising and falling a little with your breath while looking at the reef life that looks like mountain vistas. It's very close to Satori, a Zen state of mind, where you aren't thinking. You are just kind of experiencing the world as it is without making mental comments on what is going on around you. Hugs my friend. I am confident you will find our way through this part of life to the you you want to be.


Meditation is a good way to be more in the present ^^


dodie! i'm the one who go the tattoo you drew at sitc. i'm going to be in australia for vidcon. i'd love to sit and have a chat with you or maybe treat you to a massage (by a professional definitely not by me lol) when i'm there. if you need a friend while you're there, i'd love to hang! Maybe some of my past can shed a light on some of your future. 😜


I'm really hoping that you get the help you need, because I know that not being able to feel happy is annoying, and I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone. (On a non-serious, but semi-related note, is the word 'thoughts' on your sign behind you purposefully misspelled?)


I very much appreciate the Harry Potter quote inserted at the end of this video


What's your drink, Dodie? Also, when the hero in a film runs away, it always fails. You can never really run away, but you can chase your dreams.


Really for me it was a question of bringing myself back from the brink and then just...time. One day, I think it was a few days before my birthday back in March, I woke up and I like, wasn't sad??? And then it was a consistent thing??? Idk it's really weird and I still don't like to go out much or interact with people but it's better than it was


Hi Dodie, I'm soooo excited for Vidcon Australia!! I just wanted to know (if you see this comment) will you be selling your merch??


Hiya  dodie I was wondering when are the book tour dates arriving xx


hi so i know this has nothing to do with the video but i need advice and i feel safe on dodie's channel 🌈 so; i am in the process of figuring my sexuality out, and i really do believe i'm gay, based on what i've experienced so far, and it's on my mind 24/7, like ALL THE TIME and i really want to talk to people about it and come out to the people i love. the problem is, i don't feel like i've experienced enough to be able to say i'm a homosexual, and i don't know if people will take me seriously... and i really WANT to tell people, i can't get it off my mind, but how can i know for sure? i'm only 16, how can i know that i won't end up liking guys too and being bi? i know you'll say i should just wait but i can't! this is freaking me out and consuming all my time!<br>thanks for reading, i'd appreciate some advice :)

hi so i know this has nothing to do with the video but i need advice and i feel safe on dodie's channel 🌈 so; i am in the process of figuring my sexuality out, and i really do believe i'm gay, based on what i've experienced so far, and it's on my mind 24/7, like ALL THE TIME and i really want to talk to people about it and come out to the people i love. the problem is, i don't feel like i've experienced enough to be able to say i'm a homosexual, and i don't know if people will take me seriously... and i really WANT to tell people, i can't get it off my mind, but how can i know for sure? i'm only 16, how can i know that i won't end up liking guys too and being bi? i know you'll say i should just wait but i can't! this is freaking me out and consuming all my time!
thanks for reading, i'd appreciate some advice :)


1:15
Dodies's like UHUUU T^T
Evan's like hahahaha it's okay it's okay


when i'm mental, everything feels like this is the worst, i feel like this is the worst moment of my life and anything will be better. so i relate a lot when you say that you want to run away because you're not happy now so you must be when you're somewhere else therefore you glorify everywhere else because where you are is shit. unfortunately the badness is in you and you can't run away from it. i wish i could. however, i've been trying mediating, it reminds that it doesn't matter where i am, when i'm mental i will always be mental, but in my happy moments or when i'm mediating, that won't leave me either


Been feelin shit but my yellow converse came in the mail today happiness has returned for a bit


To become more positive, watch "To The Bone" on Netlfix. The end of the movie made me happy to be alive. It's a wonderful movie plz watch.


someday you will see this and think about how things change and you will say "it gets better" to people that won't believe you. I am the one to tell you that right now, hoping for you to believe me. I hope you will have fun as early as possible xx


I suggest watching Studio Ghibli films, reading books, listening to calm but upbeat songs, and just looking at the world around you. Look at how the light plays on the trees and buildings and ground, look at the clouds and the sky and the tops of the trees, look at what is present and real and solid in your life. Pay attention to the good things you cannot doubt like the taste of good food, the feeling of comfortable clothes and nice weather, the sight of beautiful landscapes and friends' faces, the smells of fresh grass and fresh food and new people and familiar places. Just pay attention to the now and the world and comfortable art. Find things that will make you feel and accept those feelings, no matter what they are. Accept those feelings and move forwards.

Eresh Themistocles Nausicaä Halpert Rodis


dodie, i want to talk to you about your video on over-sharing - because i think you didn't overshare. i think we - as a society - overengage... and that's the problem. the problem is NOT talking about mental health "too much" - it's over-engaging in it too much that's the issue (and that's not you, that's society).


If anyone knows where dodie got her glasses from i would be forever grateful xx


dodie, who lives in london: i want to run away and move to america

me, an american: i want to run away and move to london


im not sure if you have tried these or not but here are some suggestions that make me feel at peace:
- meditaion (maybe at a beach or park)
- taking a walk without headphones and maybe just a friend or two
- taking a hike and listening to the birds
- going to a animal shelter and patting the cats


Ahhh yeahss, the allure of the Geographical Cure. Been there - didn't work 😧 Whereever you are that's where you are, so unless you turn to drug misuse I feel its rather hard to take a holiday from your thought patterns.
I really really struggle with this every day. But at 40 I wonder if this is just being human?
I hope CBT helps. I find John Green helps me - Vlogbrothers Thoughts from Places.
Can't wait to see you at VidCon Australia - I hope you are not lonely during your time in Melbourne.


if you ever need a place to run away to (bc god have i felt that exact way before) know you've got a friend in Baton Rouge Louisiana (though idk how entertaining it would actually be lol)


Dodie, I really don't think that there's a fix because you're not broken. There is improvement though


I really hope you'll get better! this hp reference though 👌


Welp. Here's some advice(I'm sorry if it's shitty): When your in that mind state you kinda start to give up and push off every idea to be....Happy. The thing is you can't force yourself to be happy as you know but letting yourself doing small experiences(Not climbing a mountain dodie:p). Just going some place you haven't gone before, like all the places you listed. I don't know😂 <br>Honestly I just need some music and a view to feel a bit better. Welp Welp welp. Bye dodie that probably won't see this

Welp. Here's some advice(I'm sorry if it's shitty): When your in that mind state you kinda start to give up and push off every idea to be....Happy. The thing is you can't force yourself to be happy as you know but letting yourself doing small experiences(Not climbing a mountain dodie:p). Just going some place you haven't gone before, like all the places you listed. I don't know😂
Honestly I just need some music and a view to feel a bit better. Welp Welp welp. Bye dodie that probably won't see this


hey dodie,
i'm doing neurofeedback which is a direct training of brain function. they apply electrodes to your head and you basically just watch a movie and your brain functionality gets a little better every time you do it.
it helped me a bit cause my depression hasn't been very deep for a while. so maybe you should try it out?
also i'm not very good at explaining how it works and what it does so i'd recommend to look it up on the internet. (:


You guys reacting to FUN. playing is pretty much me every day listening to that stupid band. The "hiatus" has been awful btw.


It's so nice to know I'm not alone. I've recently found a mental help app. It's called "What's up? - A mental health app". its been very helpful for me lately. But always remember that you have people you can talk to and that you aren't alone. I often forget that and it makes it so much harder. Keep your head up and press on, even through the hard times. It's worth it. Even if you don't see it getting better, push though because life is a beautiful thing. 💛


sometimes I thrive to feel not present, most of the time I feel way too here. I overthink too much.

I'm starting anxiety therapy soon and I don't know what to do.


I hope you have a good time in DC. It's my home, and I hope you feel comfortable and welcome and alive.


I know this is a REALLY personal question so I wouldn't be surprised if my comment wasn't acknowledged but I'm just curious if you have ever suffered from any form of self harm? And maybe if you could do a video about it) if you're comfortable with talking about it)❤


honestly ive been doing pretty bad myself, but not particularly on the depersonalisation front. im extremely fickle these days, and i think its some kind of coping mechanism. like, i'll have this utterly bad ansiety/panic attack or like a really bad freak/breakdown thatll last a couple hours and ill feel very intensely within my own head and then, when ive gotten rid of all the extra chemichals thatve made me lost it, i'll just feel drained the whole freaking day. better, but EXTREMELY not there. just out of energy, but also completely forgotten how it was that this thing made me feel the way it did or how it felt. its like... depersonalisation from my mind as well, which is weird. feels like its tuning out stuff, which it probably is, to make me better.
however, ive been getting little moments every once in a while. i'll be sitting on the bus, coming back from model un at 7 pm, lights on in buenos aires, people talking all around me and feeling sleepy, and suddenly i can see the colors pop out and feel the warmth and the texture of my clothes and really /hear/ what everyone's saying. or i'll be sitting on my schools grass area, the sun going down, summer breeze coming through and i can feel IT and i can feel THINGS and i dont care bout my skirt tracing the shape of my big stomach roll or my thigs coming out.
the most recent one was like two weeks ago walking round a forest covered in snow at night, coming back from an activity from a trip we take as a school group (its tradition, dont think about it). id never flown, never gotten out of my city really, never gone on a trip with friends, never partied as much and never seen snow  before that and then it had happened. to me. i was there, and i felt so extremely happy and content and just not as hollow and i didnt even care that no one talked to me and i dont know. it lasted for about fifteen minutes, but i can remember it so well. oh god.
i guess what im trying to say is... the good comes with the bad or something. itll get better and itll get worse. you'll feel there but the depression can get worse cause of that. i dunno if it gets better, but it progresses. hope i made sense.


Dodie pleeeease do a cover of some nights!!! Like acapella


I have a million tips for how to deal with it, fix it, whatever. I don't know what will work for you, though. That's a process, that takes time and a chance to get to know the person who needs them deeper. I watch these and I wish I could.

I guess, if I had one somewhat catch-all tip, it's to do something different. Whatever you've done isn't working, and don't just do what other people tell you is right. If you're not hurting anyone, do what you need or want to do to be a better you, even if everyone else thinks it's stupid, strange, or uncomfortable.

One of the most liberating things I've ever done is accept, and then learn to love the broken bits. Learn to take things other people think is wrong and make them my happiness.


are the dates for the book tour released yet?


"and then i'll be in australia for vidcon" just that little tiny statement hurts fuuuck i'm going to be in melbourne the day vidcon starts but my plane leaves earlier on in the day i want to cry


Wow that sounds like so much travelling holy shit. I don't know how well you deal with DPD when you're travelling but maybe your brain rewired itself for a little bit when you were on holiday because you actually decided to go like, "okay, im going to not focus on my life back home and actually take a break" so you like didn't have anything to worry about in the moment?? and maybe that made your brain go like aight she's finally letting go a little let's adapt to that for a lil while. <br>Idk man, I so desperately want to rewire my brain. It's so fucked up to the extent depression and anxiety rule my life, I don't even know who I am anymore because they're all so intertwined (plugplugplug buy on itunes listen on spotify) together. I hope keeping yourself busy with travelling and touring helps Dodiee. We miss you, love from Bangladesh

Wow that sounds like so much travelling holy shit. I don't know how well you deal with DPD when you're travelling but maybe your brain rewired itself for a little bit when you were on holiday because you actually decided to go like, "okay, im going to not focus on my life back home and actually take a break" so you like didn't have anything to worry about in the moment?? and maybe that made your brain go like aight she's finally letting go a little let's adapt to that for a lil while.
Idk man, I so desperately want to rewire my brain. It's so fucked up to the extent depression and anxiety rule my life, I don't even know who I am anymore because they're all so intertwined (plugplugplug buy on itunes listen on spotify) together. I hope keeping yourself busy with travelling and touring helps Dodiee. We miss you, love from Bangladesh


I think its difficultly to flip that little light switch in your brain that wishes you could live now and here. Personally I try it all the time, I want to live now and here and have hopes for the future and not dwell on the past; but its hard. Its hard when all of what your past is what makes you the person you are today. However, it is possible. I dwell on my two best friends that help me go through life, I dwell on my older sister and her college life, I dwell on my parents and how at times they are annoying they're the best parents I could've wished for. It's the little things, like the fact that no matter what I can still look back and sing Would You Be So Kind and think of my crush that ignores me. Maybe even the fact I know what song will go off at 8:20 in the morning to go off to my Film Studies class. Its the fact I can look at my cat and smile when she looks at me annoyed. So despite worrying for my future which is catching up to me I think of here and now. You and all the things around you, I think, in a sense I've pinned all my hope on you dodie. And I don't want to sound alarming of any kind but I've pinned my dreams and hopes and all my love on you. Which is weird I guess. But its something that helps me get by, and I thank you for that. So yes, you can switch that light switch and you can rewire your brain because I know you can. I know you can and will always get through this. 💛 ~ geena


Dodie and manager Josh should do a cover of the song they were singing


hearing that song at the end gave me so much nostalgia aww

also why are you going to be in LA? any chance you'd like to go to Disneyland?


I had cbt for bpd and it was shit lol I hope it works for u honestly just don't get ur hopes up cause that sucks when u get let down


brain re-wiring tips - its a meditation app called Headspace! It's so lovely and Ive been using it loads. It's free, but if you pay for a subscription you get a bunch of extra stuff (like a meditation pack for depression, anxiety, loneliness, lots and lots of stuff). Might be worth a try!!


I applied through the NHS for CBT and after waiting for months on the waiting list I got an appointment

But I'm moving away to uni so I can't even have it now great


Dodie I love your videos, and all of the art you make, but I sometimes feel worried that you do so many things and go to so many places for your fans that you don't allow your self time for full self care. I was actually a bit relieved that you didn't finish VEDA. I am really sorry that it didn't quite help like you thought it would, but still in the future if you need to take a couple weeks off I hope I speak for all of your lovely viewers when I saw PLEASE DO. Of course you know yourself best I just feel like sometimes it can help to have others encourage self care.


DODIE CLARK EXPLAINS : HER PERCEPTION OF REALITY AND/OR THE UNIVERSE
 but seriously, that would be such a cool concept for veda or any other thing :)

*DODIE CLARK EXPLAINS* : HER PERCEPTION OF REALITY AND/OR THE UNIVERSE
 but seriously, that would be such a cool concept for veda or any other thing :)


i watched this in class, but am now commenting. also, my teacher now likes dodie lmao <3


My depression it's not diagnosed, I've never went to see a doctor for it and i haven't told anybody, but it's 2 years since i started to feel this way and by now i'm sure something is definitively wrong with me. I won't tell you all my struggles, but i want to ask. How to tell somebody? Or how else i am supposed to start fixing myself?


i realized I'm am lowkey a hippie, I'm taking a break from social media, metal music (that sometimes makes me anxious) and some friends and been listening to woodstock 69 soundtrack religiously and I feel GREAT


"Fun" reminds me of that girl singing that song in her kitchen and her mum walks in a starts beat boxing and dancing 😂😂😂


hey dodie, so i have a small problem.
its my most important year in school and my friends they're being so bitchy about the entire situation. i dont whether its about competiton or something but they clearly hate me at the moments.
lets name my friends a, b and c. so basically, a is going around telling the rest of my entire gang to stay away from me. she feels that i become mentally close with a person and just when they start spilling secrets i run away and dump them. she thinks im a bitch. she liked degrading me in anyway possible. then there's b. this guy's friendship with me has always had its own faults. so now c is a person who im uncomfortable with and dislike her alot. now b has been my childhood friend for about 9 years now and c has just become his friend not less than a year ago. c fills in all these bad things about me to him and makes up random stories. he believes her for some reason. so now b and i had this huge fight and now he chose her over me. im devastated dods. i really dont know what to do . i cant concentrate at all and its annoying the hell out of me. if you could help, it'll be really nice.

with love,
a common girl with common problems.


You know what you say about the past in When ? Well I feel the same but about the future. The past was ehh for me and the present pretty much sucks, I can't do much because of my crippling anxiety, so the only comfort I find is in my future. Except the future I fantasize about needs to be planned *now*, and I can't do it bc of my anxiety. So idk what to do. I guess I'll just fantasize about the future until I don't have one anymore?


Oh my gosh!! I'm from Peru!! You should still go just to visit. No need for the dangerous stuff. There is so much to see, so beautiful


That Harry Potter reference at the end got everyone quaking


Dodie can you help me, I'm going to school in a few days and I'm dreading it. My brain keeps telling me to disconnect from my friends and I keep imagining just leaving them all and being on my own. But then i feel really depressed and lonely and I'm so confused and I hate school.


Recommendation: I think you need to put your treatment first if you really, truly want good results. It seems like your treatments get placed on the back burner because of conventions/trips to LA, etc. I think a big reason why things haven't been working is because of these interruptions. You shouldn't have to "hope you'll have time" for treatments that are essential to healing your brain :(


can you remember the exact moment you started dissociating???? I can and I really really really regret it because I think I could have prevented it if I hadn't done the thing but I did the thing and now it sucks


it's bothering me so much that thoughts is spelt wrong? i love dodie though so it's okay


Dodie, I think part of the issues you have are that you have a very busy career now. When there's a lot to organise, the calm contentment is harder to find. I partly found that when I entered my career, then much more so when I had to juggle that with having a family.
The CBT sounds like a great idea-but can you slow down with your travelling/working a little too? It's hard to find happiness in the small moments if every small moment feels wasted if you aren't organising the next big thing...
Also, if that isn't possible, can the CBT be conducted by phone/video call? I would really try not to miss it-I have friends it has really helped.


I need to see a Dodie/Josh cover of Some Nights


Hey Dodie, it's been a while, how are you feeling now?


The end brought back memories cause we did Some Nights in our Glee club years ago :D


Dodie please please please prioritise your therapy 😥 I understand you have a lot of responsibilities as an artist and you want to do lots of things but please work on your mental health with professionals especially during days like this xxxxx


For the entire outro I thought I thought josh was drinking out of a tomato sauce bottle


Petition for manager josh and dodie to do a cover of FUN - some nights please 💛


Please do a cover of a Fun song dodieeeee it'd be so cool


Quick Question, Dodie...<br>Are you touring in the USA?

Quick Question, Dodie...
Are you touring in the USA?


Can you make an easy uke tutorial for newish players? 💛


3:04 me when i thought there was like 2 weeks of summer left


I hope I get to meet you on your book tour


you and josh should cover some nights!!!


the end vlogggy bit was so cute,, m o r e


I just finished NCS and I hated it, we also to go on a hike up a freaking mountain and my legs and back were killing me for the rest of the time we were there and having no signal just made the whole thing worse and I was feeling really sad because I had never stayed away from home from that long before, I would not recommend it to anyone


you get a zillion comments so not sure if you will see this but one book that really made a big huge giant difference in my life regarding depression and anxiety and being mindful is "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle <3


I'm seeing Dodie in Cardiff in October AND I CANT WAIT!!!! Anyone else going? Xx


I'm literally sobbing rn your gonna be in Toronto and I could meet you that would be my ultimate dream I already missed seeing tatinof I don't want to miss seeing you now


Try meditating and yoga. It really helps ❤


ok so it sounds weird, but if you spray a natural scent on the inside of your wrist, and whenever you feel stressed or nervous or just not good, smell it and think of something happy, so eventually when you smell that scent you link it with happy memories or thoughts. :)


I read the mindfulness bit at the bottom of the description box and you don't really have to close your eyes to do it. You can just sit or lay or whatever with your eyes open and try to focus on not focusing


I dream to find man, who knows very well English and began to make Russian subtitles to your video


I didn't know you had a retainer ! Oh that makes me feel better about mine


I totally know what you mean about imagining the best scenario..  it's my birthday sunday, I turn 23. I've had the worst year of my life..  and I'm SCAreD Of SUnDay, I just want a nice birthday but I'm scared I'll feel numb and BorEd and indifferent. Going to celebrate this weekend though as if I'm REALLY happy, currently sat in a pink bubble bath, with a face mask on, due to see Mamma Mia in London with my mum tomorrow haha. WOOOOO BIRTHDAY WEEKEND F*CKING COME AT ME!! luv u dodes x


I thought being depersonalised in dreams was just a dream.being a dream?


After watching this i just wanna give dodie a big hig..


ok but lowkey a sad emo cover of some nights could be really bomb like "some nights i wish that it all would end cause i could use some friends for a change"?? is MOODY AF


" Move to america and become a hippy " XD thats on my bucket list now


i start to crying right now beacause everything you sad is true ..


my therapist always says "never should on yourself" aka don't get down on yourself for something you THINK should happen or you think you should be. life and recovery are both crazy rides that never go in a straight line. i've been in recovery for over two years now and I'm no where near the end. just keep working everyday on rewiring your negative thoughts and your negative thought distortions. it takes time and still have multiple thought distortions every day. really my only advice is that it takes constant work and a lot of time but it's worth it to be happy. good luck in your recovery and your therapies. <3


Appreciated the Harry Potter reference at the end!! Anyone else notice that !?


Ruminating makes the depression and depersonalization so much worse. It is so hard to break. I'm still figuring it out, I hope you can too.


Hey dodie, you probably won't see this, but do you know how to tell if you're depersonalizing? Because sometimes my brain kinda zooms out and I feel as if my life is a movie that I'm watching and that I can't do anything. Thank you!


Tips on rewiring your brain? I've mastered it, give me a message if you'd like to talk! I still get negative, but it's in spurts... I'm so thankful for how I've chosen to change, I'd just rather talk about it privately!


I thought that was a ketchup bottle for a moment and was like "Oii, what are you doing?!"


Really the only way to do that is to take a break. To leave everything that you think matters and see beautiful places. I was lucky enough to do that this summer and I felt they way you discribed. I really hope you can. Spend a month or as long as you can doing things that just make you content, and I found that a lot of friendships I had were painful and made my life harder. I can back to my life now with new mindset, a clear slate to build my life back from. I chose the friends that made me happy and who helped me, and now do things simply for the sake of joy. Yes there are hardships, but I endure them for the purpose of a happiness in the near future. I was able to élimante the toxic parts of my life and feel better. Please try this, and please let me know how it wirks


I don't have any real permanent solution, but take lots of walks alone in nature. I like walking on a beach and singing to the ocean. Just be in nature and be content with yourself.


Is there a specific video where dodie talks about her depersonalization?


I thought Josh was drinking from a ketchup bottle. I was so confused for a few seconds


i'm honestly just watching this and thinking half of your problems are probably rooted from the fact that just like all the british people your age, you guys drink so excessively... if you want to feel content, maybe try enjoying the moment without booze in your system? and yeah, dodie, i'm not sure how financially stable you are with this youtube and ep and book things going on, but I'd definitely suggest a lil' one-or-two months' worth of social media break. I don't think it's physically possible to be so active online without making yourself feel worse, especially with your mental health issues.


I hope you're not missing NHS cbt appointments, which someone less socially privileged, but equally in need could use.


I had no phone for a week and it was amazing to have to open my laptop to connect on facebook. I deleted all social media except YouTube and Facebook earlier in the year and now I'm considering getting a brick just for calls and texts... I meditate, do yoga and eat clean. What have I become? I don't recognise myself from 6 months ago!


Make sure the house elf doesn’t get in and please don’t hit him with a light or lock him in a wardrobe<br> yours sincerely Lucius Malfoy.

Make sure the house elf doesn’t get in and please don’t hit him with a light or lock him in a wardrobe
 yours sincerely Lucius Malfoy.


I feel like our world lately is so self centered.  We are always looking for ways to please us.   When will we finally take time for others and to please them.  Not overworking yourself for them but just doing simple things.  It improves your mental health and will for sure make you happier.


She said she's going on tour after buffer fest... has that already been announced/sold out or is it not on sale yet?


I have a suggestion for depersonalisation, not that I've been through it or understand, but to me one of the biggest things that makes you you, is your voice. So maybe concentrate on your voice. Now that I've typed this out it sounds silly, oh well.


If you wanted to take a break from YouTube no one would blame you someone time you just need time to recover and Connect to life I know it not that easy but don't put pressure on yourself to do YouTube. Btw i think you amazing and I do know how you fell

Feel* sorry I can't spell dyslexic and all ahhahah


if you're able to, you should really try putting your phone away, not use your short-therm memory, try relaxing, without using the work part of your brain, it might damage the other parts of your brain, might make you feel kinda spaced out or depersonalised, the parts of your brain that should be working with the parts of your brain used for work and concentrating are instead just kinda inactive and stuff, I hope this might help <3


It's strange, I want to run away to England, stop talking to my family, they don't really appreciate me or talk to me regardless, and start over. Be me, whether that's me being trans, or maybe bi gender. Because I think I may be. I'm not sure. But I can't be that here with my family