idk like cats and gallbladders and stuff

dodie: talking about something serious but then kinda sings something
me: squints shes doing it again

dodie: please don't listen to advice i gave when i was 20
me: has been following her advice since i was 13

Dodie is like, aesthetically pleasing to the eye even though she has that “messy” look

Hearing her talk about how she thinks about her problems and how shes dealing with them was really therapeutic and made me feel a lot less alone. I already knew this was true but we’re all just huge messes. She really made it a lot clearer to me than anyone ever has that its okay to be a mess and that your doing better than you think.

Me (not a doctor): "Sounds like the gallbladder."
Dodie 1,5 min later: "I have a lump on my gallbladder."
Me: Holy shit! Am I Dr House?

Dodie: "If you have a running monologue you can probably write down everything it's saying."
My inner voice: "Nah, I'm a fast talker and Ellen writes way too slowly for that."

when you said you said “it has a name” i thought you meant the lump and i want expecting you to name it nancy or jane or something

3:43 Dodie, you lied to us. You said over 2 years ago you weren’t hiding any more lyrics in your videos, and yet that is definitely the beginning of Special Girl.

As someone who has an internal monologue, trust me it doesn't help you with speech. I'm always saying something and having to stop sentences to change a word that isn't good enough. Similarly, even though I can construct sentences in my head, in writing I scribble a lot of words out because, as I'm writing them, I come up up with a better one.

Dodie: Running monologue...


Me: wait... doesn't everyone have that.

3:42 when you realise she's singing 'special girl' and none of us knew yet

dodie on gas and air: this is not something i can put online
also dodie: puts it online

I was rewatching this video now that her debut album came out, and i realised that she has been putting hints of the songs of the album in this video haha

people who think in coherent sentences: wow im hungry, im going to make a burger versus me, a person who doesnt think in coherent sentences: mm b o r g o r

my heart literally aches, i have never connected so deeply with another mind before, i wish i could spill my head out to you because i know you would also be feeling the same pain, every time i watch your videos it brings me to tears solely because i walk away feeling tinest bit of comfort knowing i am really not alone :( <3

"The Noise is a man unfiltered and without a filter a man is just chaos walking"

The thoughts thing makes me think of a book trilogy called Chaos Walking by Patrick Ness they're brilliant (would recommend) and there's this thing called the Noise which is basically people's thoughts. But like you said thoughts don't tend to be one coherent sentence so the Noise is made up of images of memories or ideas or imaginings and there's also colour in it to reflect the mood of people and layers of sentences all at once. It has a kind of physical presence so it can change shape and be used as a weapon which is explored later on it the books. Its all layers and layers of things so most of it gets lost especially in whole towns and villages the sound of people's thoughts are overwhelming and unbearable.

Its hard to describe but I would recommend a look at the books if you haven't all ready.

maybe it's just me but it feels so weird seeing Dodie back again on YouTube, almost feels unnatural haha

"I have been itching for big change"
That statement didn't age well lol

I like how you call anesthesia "turning you off" like you're a robot lol

When she was talking about how people think, I sometimes feel like I got the exact opposite thing. I have to formulate all of my sentences perfectly in my head, repeat words when I pronounce them wrong (in my brain) and all that. Since age 12 I pretty much haven't have a thought in the first person, but always feel like someone's listening to my thoughts and I'm talking to them.
Does anyone know what I mean, or am I being weird?

DODIE, about thoughts being all over the place: PLEASE read the knife of never letting go by Patrick Ness!!!! He does it in such an unusual messy way

The lyrics, "You blow me up like a big balloon" just got real.

So I have aphantasia, which means I can't see things in my head or "mind's eye" at all. I think in a constant inner monologue, like stream of consciousness bullshit that I for sure wish I could turn off. It blew my mind that people think in the abstract. Sometimes I will have the feeling that I just had an idea, like a complete epiphany moment, but if I dont say it verbally in my head it will literally disappear and I cannot for the life of me bring it back. So it's not so much that mind reading would be abstract for me, but more like there would be no beginning or end to the thought because my brain just keeps going.

dodie! I wanted to let you know your songs mean a lot, I was going through a funny patch with a friend at a camp. I found out we were very different people & not knowing how to dealing with it, I distanced myself from her. It ended up hurting a lot. On the way home on the bus I listened to your song 'arms unfolding' on repeat, every word seemed to completly hit with my situation. It talked about trust lost, walls being built and lastly opening your heart up after being hurt. I listened to your lyrics, and I ended up talking to my friend and explaining how I was feeling. Your songs are quite something ❤️ also I know the internet is a bit whacked but we've missed you!!!

Dodie: "I'm itching for* big *change."
Later 2020: "there you go! 💁"

does anyone else feel like they have music or a song playing in the back of ur mind while u go about with stuff, and if it's interrupted or you forget the tune you can't quite think straight until you find it again?

i missed hearing you talk dodie it’s so calming

I literally had my gallbladder removed in August and am so familiar with the pain you described at the beginning. The term "writhing" fits perfectly. 10/10 worst thing I have ever experienced. Also, I had the same question about the belly bloating, and it does go away. And I do feel loads better.

I've missed hearing you just chat, this felt like a little catch up with a close friend and made me so happy! I hope you're doing well :)

Dodiieee! We have found ourselves in the same position. I’ve had so much pain in my abdomen and I’m worried it’s endometriosis, so I have to have the same surgery to be officially diagnosed bc it’s basically impossible to see endo with any other sort of ultrasound, exam, or scan... I’m TERRIFIED of being put to sleep and someone being in control of my body and I have no clue what’s going on bc I’m on drugs and can’t wake up until they want me to ... WHAT!!!??? I understand where you’re coming from. It makes me feel less alone that you feel this way too. Love you Dodie 💕

The "It's not my fault" is from Special Girl and Before the Line!! ❤️

“you blew me up like a big balloon” the prophecy...

I really missed these types of videos, just talking. I’m very happy seeing and hearing you talk about real things.

So I have adhd, and constant monologue is a thing that I have (along with the few odd pictures and fizzled our memories) and in fact talking is kinda difficult at times..? Because my brain is thinking of what I want to say too fast and my mouth can never catch up, so, as I result I write out my thoughts and emotions :> on another note, it’s good to see you and hear you talk like this again, I really missed it, hope you’re doing well!💕💕

Hey Dodie, i had my gallbladder taken out, the air goes out of your shoulder lol, i know how weird that sounds, but it just means u have a lot of pain in your shoulder for the next few days , they say mint tea and different things will help relieve that pain. But id definitely say it is worth getting it out , cause I know how horrific the pain was 😬

Imagine if the song "she" by Dodie was in the POV of her looking in the mirror. Like damn. That would be powerful.

Xx

i had my gallbladder removed! its the best thing i've ever done.

lol i have a running monologue in my head but if i panic, it becomes how dodie describes thinking, its wild

3:31
Is she...
DOROTHY CLARK ARE YOU DOING IT AGAIN???

I hope you’re alright Dodie♥️ you’re amazing and you really deserve happiness!

hey dodie my mother got her gallbladder removed 3 years ago. she had a small scar on her tummy but its gone now. she was very afraid as well but she had stones in there and she said the surgery is worth the removal of that pain :) thought I'd past that information to you I hope you consider it love you!!

90% of my inner monologue is me having conversations with my internal versions of people I know/knew.
Also it makes a lot of sense that some people think more in words and some don't. It probably explains why some people (like me) lean more toward talking/writing as a form of expression and others are more visually artistic or musically inclined

about the inner monologue- I mean perhaps it’s easier to analyse my thoughts but like.. that then leads to A LOT of overthinking and then getting stuck in my own head lol

I have an extremely clear internal monologue going on but when I’m going through a bout of anxiety or (of course) psychosis/mania its perfect words in sentences but nothing makes sense: “green eyes and ham on a stick” used to be on repeat in my head. Thoughts are weird fam

It's so nice to have you back!!! Crazy how much you've changed and evolved since I last watched your videos, I missed your voice :)

Dodie: “Please don’t listen to anything I say.”
Me: B-but. You helped my escape a panic attack.

I’ve never had someone describe so perfectly how my thoughts run about, honestly i thought my brain was a little scrambled since nothing’s ever in order. Damn big life realization thank you so much love, it’s a great feeling to know other people think the same way

In the space of like 60 seconds you went from saying "I think I've adapted to change" to "my heart hurts because I thought about change."

i had a rough day. this made me feel happy. thank you Dodie 💜

1) The hospital re-enactment stuff was entertaining, thank you for the ages it took ha

2) 'Mine doesn't!' is a mental illness mood. Exactly the tone my friend and I have when we're going back and forth about our various brain ailments ^^;

3) The whole 'are thoughts words' thing has always bothered me because you know how these kinds of things are spectra? I must be dead centre on this one, lmao. Some of my thoughts are nebulous memories and feelings like you thought the default was, while others are linear and sentence-y, like I'm literally talking to myself or seeing the relevant words. (And yes, the latter does help - especially when I need to describe complex feelings, because sometimes the right word appears on gut instinct, even when logic isn't quite there yet.)

4) I also have a song in my head almost all the time. It's like permanent background radio. It's not like an earworm, because it isn't annoying or distracting - it's just a common background function of my brain.

5) That music sounds so so good. <3<3

dodie's voice has such a power over me, her talking can calm me down instantly (even though she's talking about scary body stuff).

hey so I had about the same-ish thing happen to me? most of my life I had pains in my abdomen and I would vomit very easily and get nauseous. I went to the doctor and they told me I probably had G.E.R.D. but about 3 years ago it got really bad!! I had those unbearable pains!! you think you're fine now, but I promise you when you get your gallbladder removed you'll notice that the pain you thought was no pain is gone. the extra air from keyhole surgery just uh... comes out in farts and burps... it's really embarrassing. I think the only downside of getting my gallbladder removed is that I have to change my diet? (I saw a nutritionist for help). a lot of people have different reactions so you could be fine. the only post surgery negatives I can think of is that you have to have someone help you sit up so that you can go to the bathroom, you can't laugh or else you'll be in immense pain, and you have to keep a ice pack on your abdomen for most of the day. you only have to do this for a month or so. I'm happy I got it removed, but I wish I knew waaayyy earlier so I could've avoided years of pain.

dodie you shine a little light in my days. you are amazing.

So happy to have your smiling face on the internet! Thank you for just existing and making me smile!

I just thought I would come back to the video that helped me figure out what was wrong with me and update you. This video helped me realize that my pain was my gallbladder. My last gallbladder attack I went to the emergency room, where I was given morphine, a CT scan, and ultrasound and they were like, yup it’s your gallbladder. Long story short I had the surgery to remove my gallbladder... I can not even begin to tell you how much better I feel. Yes I have to go to the bathroom more often but that’s better than being in excruciating pain.

And “where does the air go?!” You do burp and fart it out after surgery. If I can do it you can too! 💗 Best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

I don’t know why but listening to Dodie talk about what’s on her mind is so relaxing to me (especially tonight cause my anxiety is PEAKED tonight!) nice to see you tonight Dodie! ☺️

you are calming and chaos all in one, and boi oh boi have I missed your videos. Bless you! tirrah xx

I swear this video was like therapy for me :) I loved hearing from dodie again so much omg

It's just kinda of heartwarming seeing people going through similar things that I am going through, but at the same time I am pretty terrified of the idea that this kind of struggle would just go on...

I literally experienced this almost to a T. I literally feel your pain. My life is so much better without a gallbladder and surgery was a breeze and the pain was so minimal compared to the gallbladder attacks.
(also the air kind of just escapes. It causes a bit of shoulder pain if you sit upright but it dissipates!)

you’re so aware of the internet now, it makes me sad.. it’s clear that you’ve been hurt by it and I just hope it never happens again, I wish you the best, dodie
amazing to see you back here<3

Wow, so many already noticed the Special Girl lyrics! And don’t forget about the strings at the end of Sorry, they’re in the video as well (10:10). I really think like 95% of the album were done at the beginning of 2020 and the pandemic forced her to delay everything.

I am definitely a “gotta translate my ideas and thoughts into words” person, but sometimes it feels like you go straight to the words. But like before it’s words it’s always just like wordless thoughts or feelings. You know when u know something but you don’t know how to explain what you know but you know that you know it? Yea like that. The more defined the thought is, the clearer a form it has in my brain, so like it’ll just be a feeling of knowing to like a flashback montage and then like words that link together like a mind map and then like sentences that vaguely describe some aspect of what I’m thinking. Yeah I think I explained that pretty well.

Even though its a little odd to watch you on the youtube again, i still absolutely love your videos! I really hope you are doing well! and wish you the best of luck with everything! :))

Dodie we love your videos <3 Thanks so much for fighting your worries and posting even though it's scary and hard. It was so good to hear from you, you give me hope <3

I had gallstones 😂 I got my gallbladder taken out and I wasn't even hospitalised overnight. I have to use lactose pills and digestion pills every day or else EVERYTHING comes out in a few hours. It's super worth it though. 👍

I don't know how to express how relaxed and happy this video made me feel, thank you for sharing your thoughts, it's very appreciated

You're wonderful! I know it can be stressful and a lot to make videos and be on social media, but whenever you pop in I so appreciate your spirit! Thanks for being you!

dodie we love you, keep going, we believe that you know what's best for you!! 💕

“please don’t listen to what i say”
me, spending years following her advice and being shaped into who i am today: oops

ur music makes me happy and everything in between. thank you for writing music that i can relate to. im so so so excited for ur new music

When you were describing your pain I immediately thought it might be your gallbladder because I had the same thing happen to me just over a year ago. I ignored it for a while but, like you, it was unbearable. I had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder and it made me so much better. I had the surgery on a Monday and left the hospital on a Tuesday. It's not a bad procedure at all. Good luck, Dodie. You'll be fine! Also, I didn't need to change up my diet at all. You'll want to avoid fatty foods and such for a month or so but after that your body adapts. I ate like shit before the surgery and I eat like shit today! lol

I missed you so much :( I hope you post more often even if it’s just your random thoughts bc your voice is so calming and the topics you discuss make me feel like I’m talking to a friend

We're so glad you're back Dodie!!! We missed you so much!!!

Not gonna lie, this is one of my most favorite video formats. My brain is very all over the place as well and o love how it feels like we’re friends and just having a chat. I think that everyone needs a friend like Dodie ♡︎

That sounds like a real tough decision ❤️ Best of luck doing what feels right, and don’t feel like you have to decide right now.

These videos of yours are my favorite. I love hearing you talk about your thoughts

Gosh I've missed her so much, her videos are like sitting down with a good friend ❤️

I've had my gallbladder removed. My pain would come every 6 months like you said and then it kept coming more and more and sooner and sooner and I pulled the trigger and they kind of removed it in the middle of an attack as an emergency. I've had no such pains at all since. Some people report weight loss, but anyone I know that has had it removed has reported the opposite, including myself.
Def look into digestive enzymes and pre/probiotics for afterwards and I promise you'll be fine! AND PAIN FREE!

so glad to see you again! you seem really happy in this video and it makes me happy :)

The gallbladder story has been my exact life for the last few months, down to the A&e visits and 111 phone calls 😭 I'm getting the same surgery, tons of people live without gallbladders and you can eat a normal diet 😊 I've also never had surgery so I'm a bit wary too but it's really short and safe and it has essentially no risks so you will be okay 😊

this video is so calming and refreshing and I had just missed listening to you dodie

This feels like a proper look into your mind, and it's amazing!

I missed you posting videos like this so much. Sorry you’re in pain and I hope it gets better! 💛

My mum has had her gall bladder out and she's said it was the best decision she ever made. Once she recovered she hasn't had any pain since and has been able to eat anything she wants to

I’m so proud of you dodie!!!! Everything you’ve accomplished and the growth you are inhabiting mentally and emotionally. We’re all a mess. But a mess moving forward. Always happy to see a video from u

So nice to see your face Dodie! Your presence is a light and a gift! 💕

me: has a panic attack
dodie music: gives me a warm hug and tells me everything’s gonna be okay

THE APPLE THING
I was talking to my friends about this a bit ago, i genuinely cannot imagine being able to see an apple in your mind, I just see nothing? I was gobsmacked to find out you’re supposed to see things without your eyes, it just never occurred to me, but anyway yeah :)

for the running monologue thing
I have coherent thoughts most of the times, like my thoughts interrupt each other and sometimes I don’t understand what theyre trying to say, and also I happen to stutter in my thoughts? I do ik real life but I feel like that’s not normal? Anyway :)

omg the plants add a whole new aesthetic and i am totally here for it!! ahah on another note, incredibly proud of you for the long and hard journey you've been on and can't wait for your video about being 25! lol i honestly need to go ahead order your gift and send it to you ;))

Love you so much! These lil videos are so wonderful, you are so wonderful! Can’t wait to see you perform live one day!

dodie! I had my gallbladder removed when I was 13 after having so much gallbladder pain for two years before not knowing what the pain was until I had gallbladder attacks. It was scary but worth it, the pain still comes but it is like a dull memory of your body experiencing pain, (best way I could describe it is when people get amputations and have fantom limb pain) it scares me that sometimes I don’t feel physically whole but the pain is so not worth it, i can eat normally despite the fact I can’t eat a lot of takeaways but hey, that’s probably best :) I hope you decide to get it - it could change your life! Xx

Dodie: “sO much”
Me: flashbacks to arms unfolding hidden message

Hey!! I got my gallbladder removed in June and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I’d have these “attacks” of the worst pain I had ever felt. I’d have it every week like clock work, and I saw many doctors and it turned out I had gallstones! It scared the shit out of me to get surgery but I’m so thankful that it happened.

I had my gallbladder taken out via keyhole 2 and a half years ago. Of course I was a little nervous with being put to sleep but the majority of people are too. When I woke up in recovery they gave me chance to come round fully and after a while they let me get dressed and go home with some painkillers. I was in pain for a few days after but it wasn't unbearable. Honestly you'll be fine and you don't have anything to worry about x

Love you expressing yourself dodie 💛💛

i just feel like you and i would be good friends, dodie. keep on keeping on. 👍🏼

having a body is such a hassle why can’t i just be a snail on the pavement on a rainy day

I am glad Dodie is uploading again! She is such an inspiration to small Youtubers like me. 🙂

I really like when you just sit down and talk with us.

Hi Dodie, I just discovered you and I just wanted to thank you for being so exposed and honest and a mess at the same time. You don’t seem to be a mess because of drug abuse, or greed or just being a mean, hate filled person it’s just the lot you’ve been dealt and your doing your best to deal with it and your allowing people to see parts of your journey and you have something really special and unique. You have the capacity to be incredibly honest which is rare, very helpful to people and entertaining. This really is a super power. If you lean hard on this power I think you will fly! Peace and Love. Good Luck and Thank you.

i’ve missed you so much i just cried over this video for no reason. you bring me strenght because you remaind me of myself and i every time i watch you i have hope that one day i’ll be fine (or more fine than today at least)

When you’re having a breakdown, full blown tears streaming down your face and dodie posts a video as simplistic as this one and you instantly calm down and feel like you can breathe again. Wow.

Interesting to hear the thoughts thing from your perspective! When I picture an apple it is not a color, memory, or anything I can see. I can only do that in dreams. I have a running monologue in my head, but it doesn't help me find things out about myself because it's mostly circular. I just repeat the same thoughts (usually acting out a dialogue with a friend or family member or co-worker that I'm thinking about OR my brain trying to convince me to do something I've been putting off) and it just repeats and repeats and repeats until I write it down and leave it on the page (journaling).

Wow I haven’t watched a dodie video in a few years I think, but this was so genuine and nice, I didn’t realize how much I missed her personality.

I've been having a really similar problem with pain and my doctor thinks it's to do with my gallbladder! Getting my scan tomorrow. If it is something with my gallbladder and if they give me the option for surgery I'll probably take it, because the pain is so bad. But it's your choice at the end of the day! You do whatever you think is right for you 💚

This video makings me very happy in the way that I relate to how she explains her thoughts.

Firstly I think we could talk for hours. I digress..

KEYHOLE SURGERY: It's a surgical miracle. So much less invasive than regular surgery. Its very rare that you'll have to stay in hospital for longer than one night after having it and you won't be in immediate pain. They'll give you plenty of pain relief and the pain you will have (which will be easy compared to what you've experienced) will be when you move or poop (nobody tells you how hard pooping is after abdominal surgery - THEN you may need those laxatives). The worst part for me personally was coming round from anaesthetic, which only lasts a few hours anyway and affects people in different ways.

INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: I read an article the other day about the majority of people being able to think in their heads in full sentences but a small percentage aren't able to do this at all. Found it very fascinating. Apparently most people aren't aware that the other kind exist and when they meet and realise this both are in awe. I need to sit and chat to someone who can't think in full sentences and work out how they make lists or get anything done in their life?!?

The big change feeling! Thank you for understanding, I’ve been trying to describe it for so long and no one else knows about it!

you're giving off good energy in this video, happy for u :)

This video is literally a representation of what is going on in my mind all the time!

Wtf dodie get out of my head. I feel like everything you say I'm like "omg me" and I feel like we literally have the same brain. I've never met anyone that understands me but you put everything I think into words it's so weird. But thank you so much. I love you ❤

AND the fact that some people legitimately DO NOT have an internal dialogue like you're speaking about near the end of this video is absolutely mind blowing. I just assumed everyone did.

the style of this video is so entertaining and refreshing to watch, love u dodie, missed u

This sounds exactly like what happened to me! Randomly one day when I was 22 I started having this EXTREME pain in my ribcage area. It felt like someone had a corset on me but was excruciating, incessant pain. Nothing helped - standing, sitting, walking, curling up in a ball, taking pain relievers - nothing. I just had to hope I could fall asleep and kill some time before it wore off. Turns out it was a dairy allergy. I drank so much milk as child that once I went to college and stopped consuming it, my body lost the enzyme to break it down. Now every time I have more than a few tablespoons of dairy, I get the same ( almost immediate) excruciating pain for hours and hours. Best of luck on your journey to healing, my love! <3

I love you dodie!!
Be brave and perseverant!

My thoughts and mind are like this too, Dodie 💖

I hope all goes well with the specialist! Thoughts and prayers are with you and yours! 💕

Dodie, I have this SAME THING, and my doctors don't KNOW WHAT IT IS. How did you find the lump on your Galbladder??

Lovely seeing you again, I missed you :) I hope you are doing alright

the cat thing; technically, yeah you need a garden for cats. (Theoretically) But in a big enough flat and two cats , these little ones can be just as happy. Also, sometimes there are old cats who come into shelters who have always lived in a flat without garden, and they will be given to persons without a garden preferably..so look out for that :)

I love you and your music! You are fantastic, Dodie! Btw. I know that feeling. I need to have a surgery too. I had one before. It's not urgent in my case, but it's inevitable. So, why do I wait??! lol All the best!!

tell me why “cut me open right now, blow me up like a balloon” would actually be a good song lyric?

I had 2 cats in an apartment with a tiny balcony and it was no issue so go find yourself a cat! Missed your fun rambles! Glad to see you are still around! Xx

I can't imagine not having a continuous monologue in one's mind 🤠

this is so surreal but you've always been an older sister figure to me i've watched you since middle school and i just turned 18 and i just have so much thanks to give u for all the advice i've collected from watching your videos growing up

I had my gallbladder removed at 21 and i am so so glad I did. The slight ache from keyhole surgery was NOTHING in comparison to the pain the gallstones gave me. So I'd always try and encourage people to get the surgery xx

she is singing some stuff here, i feel like she's hiding another song..

I’ve had my gall bladder removed and it was fine! Since there’s no more bladder, there won’t be pain anymore. Don’t be scared :) you’ll be fine

i love seeing her grow.. makes me want to as well

I had my gall bladder taken out too after months of so much pain. My life got a hundred times better after it. Eating wasn't a problem anymore. Hope this will be the same for you. Good luck🥰🤗

it's so exciting that you feel like you're adapting to change dodie, that's SUCH a big step especially for you. Go dodie, woo! It's been nice to hear about your life/ thoughts in this video. My thoughts are quite scattered too and always a song playing... interesting to know that other people's thoughts can run in a monologue lol wtf haha. Have a wonderful day dodie!

Dodie is such a wholesome person. She makes me want to create stuff, I don’t know what specifically but she makes me want to be creative and have fun with it 💛

GOD i love this video so much it's just thought juice and like. peeking into ur head and shit
also im very very excited for your new music and im hoping its gonna be a debut album ???

Also Dodie when you explained your mind/thoughts I related so much, I have a few different songs stuck in my head everyday!

So, I tend to have conversations in my head a lot. Like the whole monologue thing in my head that Dodie mentioned. But it's actually such a struggle to talk out loud for me xD

How can you not love dodieee!! I just wanna give her a big hug 💜💜

“Don’t mess with that stuff”
Me; ok
Also me; dies due to an infected appendix and doesn’t get it removed

Edit; oh, Dodie. I have the running monologue, and boy, is converting feelings into words difficult. Speaking is also hard, I have never spoken a sentence without stuttering.

i had my gallbladder removed in an emergency surgery in november 2018, i was only like 17 so it was very scary but the recovery afterwards is pretty easy and you will feel SO SO MUCH BETTER, i know it's probably like "eh the pain only happens once in a while" but i swear once you have it removed you realize you've always been in just a liiiiiittle discomfort, barely noticable even and afterwards that's all gone and you feel better than before by a TON. i didn't really have to change my eating at all afterwards except for right after the surgery just to be safe, and the air leaves your body after the keyhole surgery thing by you doing breathing exercises or like naturally just by burping and bein gassy or whatever for like two days. it's definitely not as scary as i thought it would be, i was terrified cause having that surgery was very unexpected but it was easy and usually you can go home afterwards the day of your surgery.

Currently on a waiting list to get my gallbladder removed....I feel your pain and yeah I was misdiagnosed for like 5 years

I had my gallbladder removed 3 years ago and am so grateful I did. For the longest time doctors weren’t able to diagnose what was happening and the pain would be so bad I could hardly breath and finally they realized it was gallstones and once the organ was removed I never had the pain again! Definitely worth it, and yes my stomach became a ballon during the surgery and besides some minor bloating afterwards everything was fine! I have the tiniest scar on my bellybutton but other than that everything is normal again, sooooo amazing!!!

I've gotten my gallbladder out. 2 months after I turned 20. The recovery was p easy but dear god the pain right after

Holy crap, listening to the beginning of the video, I was SCREAMING: "GALLBLADER STONEEEEE, DODIEEEEE".
Dude, don't worry. I have the same thing, it's terrible, but it's a VERY VERY common and safe procedure to remove it. It's the second most common operation, after appendicitis.
You. Will. Be. Great!

I hope you figure out what to do and you end up okay physically and mentally. I missed your videos, it was great to see someone being so honest about the shit in their life on the internet. It really helps to not feel alone

I thought it was gonna be weird to hear from you after a while but it honestly feels like listening to an old friend and I hope you're doing amazing because you deserve to.

Dodie, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this with your gallbladder! I went through the same thing a couple years ago (age 28) and what you're describing is SO familiar... the pain, the questions, the thought process, the fears... everything. :( After seeing various doctors and trying different diets (etc, etc) I did have my gallbladder removed. I was nervous (and it took me a little while to recover) but I can say now that I feel so much better and I'm pretty much able to eat normally again! I don't know if you'll see this, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone! It's scary but it'll be ok. <3 (And the air does go away! I have no idea how but, lol.)

I am the same as you, I understand you! My thoughts are everywhere too, and I can't articulate it . New music, wahoo! Can't wait!

Dodie talking about life and inner thoughts:




Me: HER PLANTS

I love this so much I love you so much your derealisation joke made me genuinely laugh I really missed your videos please do more videos like these thank you

I had my gallbladder removed when I was 10! The disease runs in the women in my family, and I got acute onset one day and immediately had to go and have it removed that week. Taking probiotics has helped manage the fact that my tummy sometimes gets upset when I eat different foods. Better to have some minor side effects, than tremendous pain!

Hey Dodie! I've known you for a while, but today I was listening to a random playlist on Deezer. Out of nowhere, Would You Be So Kind starts jamming and I realize... That's my girl Dodie!

That's it. Cheers and love from Brazil!

Dodie! Have you ever thought about making a podcast? Your voice is so calming. Your stories make people feel less lonely. It could be weird but, I think we're into it ;) lol

Yes with the change thing !
I always thought I would be staying at home my entire adult life, due to a mix of anxiety and physical health shit,,,,
But now I've applied to student finance and I want to live away from home at uni,, it's wild

I had appendicitis meaning I am missing an organ too. It's weird to think about. For that procedure I had my belly filled with air too. Idk what to say lol. You inspire me everyday <3

im with you on the change thing!! i think its a part of growing up, but itchy feet happens, and thats ok, i think we always end up where we're meant to, and thats the exciting part about life, something happens and you go 'yes this is where i'm meant to be'

We talked about the inner monologue thing in my philosophy class and yeah, I think I can think in every form. But mostly bits and pieces of words

i have a running inner monologue but i also have other parts of me that are arguing in full sentences and calling myself out for thinking stupid shit and there is music interrupting me and
oh also HELLA intrusive thoughts and bad thoughts that interrupt the hell out of me and derail everything
so i wouldnt say speaking is easier for me lol because it sounds like a fucking scrambled radio station in here

I love you and I’ve missed you! In a time when most of the internet is horrible I love seeing you where it’s so soft and safe

I got my gallbladder removed and it was so worth it. I haven't changed my eating habits and nothing really changed.

Strange I told my friends and partner the other day that I craved change but I wasnt sure why or what or how or what area in my life. It's a labyrinth I'm scared but curious to explore but I think I should lol. There must be something in the water. Great minds think alike. Which every mind in a way is great because they are capable of doing so much lmao. Lovely video dodie. Excited to see the next ❤

In my mind it's a mix of thoughts popping up and nice, clean sentences. It's irritating...really, it is.
And when you want a cat inside the house: you should look for two cats, so that they don't feel lonley or bored

I get serious ASMR from your voice. Love it 😍

this video lead me to a dodie video/music binge which made me really happyy! thank u dodie i luv uuuu <333

you are and have always been such an incredible storyteller

I feel like I'm a combo of thoughts and feelings - I'll think through a conversation and I'll sometimes catch myself narrating what I'm up to and I have the voice in my head reading to me as I'm reading books BUT I'm visual when it comes to escapism (e.g. rowing machine at the gym - I'm going through Vienna or Amsterdam) and if I need to work out the fastest way to get to a place or even my feelings - anxiety is yellow and frustration is bruise purple (specifically haha)

I get weirded out that I can think of someone and I feel how they make me feel but seriously struggle to recall their face (?!) Even if I've known them forever. It's always like I remember a still picture of their face not their IRL face? Idk the mind is mental

I have a running monologue, how strange that people don’t now I’m confused. I like have conversations with myself in my head. I’m pretty sure people with running monologue people are the ones who can be hypnotised easier cause it’s easier to shut it off

i missed your vlogs... I had forgotten how calm they made me feel

The thing about your gaul bladder is exactly what happened to my mum when I was little, we came back from Christingle, and she was screaming on the floor in pain for a few hours, until the paramedics finally turned up. I quit choir after that, haven’t been to a Christingle since lol. She’s fine now though, it all went well when she got it removed and she’s not had it since, and it’s been years :)

Also, having an internal monologue makes speaking harder for me to be fair, I am always in my dead, constantly, and when I am, I have trouble translating as I feel as though my thoughts are so coherent, that someone should’ve already heard and understood them, and I don’t wanna repeat them. I’m a little weird, and have trouble communicating with people, but when I’m so in my head, I have trouble understanding what people are saying, and also replying, it’s not too fun, but it helps me understand how I’m feeling really well, because my emotions tend to come in really strong waves, so, the monologue is somewhat helpful and I can’t imagine life without it, I can’t imagine how people live, without an internal monologue, probably normally lol

Oh my god the ending bit is the instrumental of “Sorry” :O I thought it sounded familiar!

i miss your videos so much dodie and i'm so glad you made this.. I hope you won't be hurt by what people say on the internet because you are a really precious being and there will always be nasty people everywhere.. stay healthy and happy please!

Dodie talking to her camera is how I talk to myself all the time.
Also when she said, "it has a name," I thought she gave the thing on her gallbladder a name. I mean that's what I would do.

I really related to what you said about how you experience thinking! For me I’m either thinking conceptually in a kindof abstract non verbal way (but often with images) and other times I’m turning it into something more like dialogue, like I am imagining vocalising my thoughts to someone else ... or I am just remembering a moment and thinking through replaying it but I think I rarely hear a monologue like ‘ok now I need to go make dinner I wonder if I should eat the leftovers from yesterday’... I find it perplexing that other people allegedly do! Althoughh alternatively my mind does often seem to randomly create sentences that sound like they are for a story or just describing something as a distant narrator - I do creative writing and I think about 40 percent ish of my thoughts is hearing sentences which sound more like literature than normal speech if that makes sense ? Do you ever get this for song lyrics or something similar ? I often either instantly forget or discard the majority of these kindof sentences though

Oh and I also have a parts of song lyrics almost constantly on repeat in the background!

Dodie! 😭❤️ Damn I haven't watched any of your videos for so long, I missed you

I loved every second of this

I don't know if you see this but, when I was 17 I was watching your videos listening to your songs when I was studying to my university enterance exams. Now I am in my 3 rd year. You inspire me so much. I did the same thing as you did. Asked 25 myself questions and it was painful but I think I needed to think. It is crazy it is nearly 4 years away. 🙂 Soo I am here to thank you for being here. And I think you are unique and so beautiful ❤️ so much love from Turkey.

actually cats are much healthier indoors, so you really shouldn't need a garden. i know that's not the norm over there, the general view is that cats should have outdoor time, but the evidence all shows that indoor cats (who have adequate stimulation, ie toys/cat trees/attention...) are healthier and live longer than outdoor cats

I get the thoughts being everywhere thing. Like when someone asks what language deaf people think in, not everyone thinks in words.
Also addressing the surgery stuff, your worries are 100% valid, surgery is weird and scary. But when it's done you'll just deal with it because that's what people do init. Stay frosty you anxious bean

listening to dodie speak is so therapeutic to me i can't even process the amount of serotonin that was just released into my brain it feels like i'm high. also the little sound of the string piece dodie was working on (at least i think it is) made me so so proud especially as a violin player like i finally get sustenance.

Hey Dodie!! Idk if you’ll see this, but I had my gallbladder removed over the summer. I can tell you first hand, the air goes straight to your shoulder muscles. The pain of your shoulders will be WAY WORSE than the stitches themselves.

I am so so happy you’ve finally figured this out

i’m so confused. i thought everybody had running and coherent sentences as there thoughts? I always have like monologues in my head. I cannot picture having like no coherent sentences if that makes sense

I've experienced the same pain for six years because of gallstones

This video feels like home. Like I genuinely missed this.

I deal with a lot of just random pain, and one of my best ways with dealing it is 1. Take whatever medicine you need 2. If you have something that makes you sleep, take that 3. Get in bed and start watching a movie or tv show or whatever. I don’t know if this is helpful at all, but I know having a distraction makes it a little more bearable for me.

i am in a similar situation where I need to have a surgery and I feel like you are the only person who understands because everyone else I tell about my fear of being put to sleep they tell me I shouldn't be scared but I AM!!

i actually always thought that everybody had thoughts in the form of a monologue because i always forget to do something unless i think it hih basically saying it to myself, so like if i were sleepy or hungry i would tell myself to have nap sometime or i would start talking to myself in a way that resembles an auctioneer. also i think it might be an element that comes from tendencies to overthink but i dunno, i think i had always just spoken to myself even as a kid.
and one time i got curious and asked my friend how she thought and said she just SAW one single word representing her thought.

Oh Lordy this is so relatable. I had to choose between getting a rib resected or not recently and I was in the same situation where there was pretty much equal risk for both removing it or not. It’s so hard to make that decision! No one can make it but you!

i had my gallbladder removed and in my country its a pretty common procedure, nothing changed afterwards and life’s better theres less pain~ soo dont worry!

love love love love love you and everything you stand for

Actually interestingly enough, there’s a theory about how ppl might think differently and in psychology its called the dual-coding theory that basically says that spatial and non-verbal information is encoded differently than verbal. However, its not necessary words vs images, because usually simple descriptive terms are easily imaginable (eg. an apple), but the verbal processing is usually used to represent abstract ideas that are harder to visualise (u could technically associate an image with the term, but its not directly encoded as an image). But overall it suggests we use both of these systems most of the time, so idk exactly why some ppl might think only in words n some in images but either way its super interesting. Also it doesn’t rly touch on why how auditory information is encoded (eg. examples of onomatopoeia), which could be interesting to think about (some ppl might say that auditory information is encoded the same way as verbal, but like if u imagine the sound of a fan its not rly a word).

The orchestra when if faded in literally made me start to well up with tears.. it’s already SO LOVELY and I’m VERY excited!!!
Also, I wonder if the thoughts thing has to do with trauma or derealisation? Because you were describing how complex and out of order and random (it’s hardly a good way to describe it) but I feel the same, except.. more colour.
Like there will be splashes of colour with the song that’s stuck in my head mixing with the colours of my feelings and fears, and meshing with ideas.
It’s all very jumbled and I do wonder if trauma has anything to do with it.
Just a thought, but I love the update, I’m proud of you for setting boundaries around sharing your life online.
Best of luck with whatever you choose for your gallbladder.
And I send my love for when you get around to filming that video, it sounds frightening and yet exciting! :)
I look forward to whatever you create and do.
Love you dodes
Cheers~

can i just say.. i love your videos.. i feel like we aee having a convo but i just get to listen in on your world and it intrigues me

I remember I started following you around the time you made the dear 25 year old me video, and it inspired me to make one for myself for when I graduated high school(because I was a wee freshman). I wondered if I would keep up with you for the time until you reacted to that video, and I guess I'm still here! Your music and kind words have helped me through some shit I've dealt with that I won't get too in depth about, but I'm very grateful you made stuff that made me feel less alone in the things I was going through. I'm graduating high school this summer and going to college, and it's crazy to think how much we've both grown as people in these few years. Anyway, I'm just a stranger from the internet but hopefully I'll get to follow you for a while more! (Also I'm a film major so maybe I can hire you to write some scores in the future...wink wink) Here's to growing up :)

I forgot how god damn funny she is. Love ya <3

Being able to hear your own voice isnt fun, as it never shuts off and I just replay conversations in my head all the time, I also tend to be in a situation where I over analyse things all the time, it's so frustrating

I’ve missed this type of content
<3 hope u r doing well dodie

Wait how long has it been since she made a video? Her whole vibe is different! Sounds like LIFE experiences.

I whish your talking videos were like an hour long cause it's so freaking interesting to hear what's in your mind

Hi! Because this is a random video, which is something I actually very much enjoyed (kudos to you), I thought I should contribute! YOUR SO BEAUTIFUL!! Your smile makes me melt and your voice is so soothing. Just agh! Your eyes are like paintings, and your an inspiration to not only me but so many others. you've helped us get to be the people we are now and im so proud to be a fan of yours.
just thank you for everything you beautiful buttercup!!

I have a running monologue in my head but it happens really quickly and sometimes it's almost radio silence. I've tried writing diaries to help with emotional control but I could never express exactly what I'm thinking in my head into written word. It's like another language, or maybe the sentences are running too fast. Idk if that's just me though. Always found it easier to express emotion symbolically like in music or pictures but even then, opening up emotions has never been easy for me, even with a running monologue lol

Omg Dodie that notification almost gave me a heart attack

i hope it all works out dodie! :)

Dodie looking like a gremlin at the end when she said “big worry” is a mood

Also I love you Dodie 🥺💜

I dee a doctor they say
"what the fuck is wrong" XD
Dodie please do skits that was just perfection.
But that aside I hope you are feeling better <3

I have absolutely no advice but this is my fave video I've seen in a long time because this is like exactly how I talk to myself

I literally got my gallbladder removed yesterday and im laying on the couch watching this vid :) hope you are doing well now <3

in response to the train of thought thing, it feels the same way as when you hear a conversation in another language and understand what's happening in a conversation but just the basics for me

I developed gall stones while I was pregnant and I had my gall bladder removed one month after I had a child. I had the key hole surgery and the recovery was quite manageable for me. While I had to change my diet for a little bit my system regulated eventually and I can eat normally now. I would do it all over again. I hope you make the best choice for you. 👍❤️

I love this entire video because I have the same pain dodie has and I constantly go to the hospital and the same thing happens. I’ve been put on a shit ton of different drugs that don’t help and I had my gallbladder taken out with the same surgery😂 the surgery helped a whole lot, I highly recommend it

i think in sentences WAY more than images. when you said to imagine an apple it was somewhat difficult for me, so trying to picture things in my mind are hard to keep in my brain. these images or scenes tend to only last seconds for me if i’m not concentrating hard enough. i usually feel like i’m writing something in my brain so yeah brains and thoughts are crazy weird

I didn’t realize that nobody else has a “running monologue” of thoughts. Mine is 100% a running monologue at all times

with like the apple and internal monologue thing, I can’t imagine anything in my head at all- and I sorta get confused that people can see shit other than darkness. I have problems wording my thoughts even though I’ve got the internal monologue because it’s just like said in terms that I understand and I have no clue if others would and it’s a hella weird feeling

I just had an appendectomy and this is weirdly relatable

i've had keyhole surgery for my spine!! i have such a fear of general anaesthetic but it was all fine when i woke up, just had to take laxatives and things once i started moving :)

I'm 18 now, and I had my gallbladder removed last August by keyhole removal way and the doctors told me that pooping was going to be hard and painful, but I didn't have that experience. I had morning surgery and left around midday the same day and was fine. I did see in other comments that people said that they either lost or gained weight but I had neither, I still weigh the same amount as before the surgery. I hope the best for you if you do get the surgery!!

Feels. I'm two months out of work at home with Kidney Stone. Keeping the sanity in the corner over here. Plenty of jigsaws, colouring in books and zen bath times.

"this is not what you signed up for"... er. YES IT IS!!!!! DODIE IS WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. these sorts of videos are my favourite. even though your a big name now you're still down to earth and normal and wonderful and funny. I LOVE THIS.

I had the same exact pain and symptoms and it turns out I was suddenly fructose intolerant.

dodie looks so happy and that makes me happy

I sorta thought "idk like cats and gallbladders and stuff" was some kind of weird song title like "i have a hole in my tooth and the dentist is shut" lol

One thing I'll say as someone with an internal monologue most of the time, I'd say it makes it much harder to be creative and abstract with your feelings because you already have very simple words for it. And therapists wonder why you are trying to see them because you already have so many insights.

Just started following you (It's like reading a book with the chapters all out of order) so I'm not sure if you got the gall bladder fixed? I know that pain and yeah I got sent home from the emergency room too. A lot... ;) Finally someone took the time to try to figure out what was wrong. Mine was like a 12 year old laptop. Somewhat functional but full of bugs and nasty pieces of software. So I got it out and yeah I got switched off to do it. I've never had that awful pain again but I did trade it in for occasional fast trips to the bathroom. It is better than the pain though. This is a bit like putting a message in a bottle. You'll never see it most likely but here's hoping the tide washes it up on your beach. Get it fixed... Life is better. :) - Lauren

You’re so cute. I know this is sorta serious but I giggled when you sang your words and talked about the internet. I miss you!!!

I have both the internal monologue and the swirling thoughts and feelings. It doesn't make speaking easier because pronouncing the words in my head is just the same as thinking them.

Yes, having a monologue makes it easier to put my feelings into words but when I dont have the words I just freak out because if I dont have words I have nothing
No way of thinking is better, its jus the way out brains work

You're so amazing 🥺💜

I have a constant internal monologue going on which is literally just my train of thought and gets interrupted occasionally with the odd daydream or something but when it comes to having to verbally process anything my brain can’t cope and i end up changing my mind on what i’m saying a million times. 😂

I think like you - I only really think in words if I’m imagining/remembering talking to someone... or like now, when I’m having to formulate my thoughts. Usually I just kind of feel my thoughts... I duno, as you said it’s very hard to explain 😂

Dodie speaks in asmr no matter what like that was so calming to listen to 😣

I had my gallbladder removed a couple of months ago. Best thing that could ever happen. No more painnnn! Best of luck ❤️ (btw, I was terrified as well but it was completely worth it)

When you said „it has a name“ I fully expected you to say George or something. :D

3:31 every time dodie is talking and suddenly sings any word or phrase i'm expecting it to be a key for a new song--

I just recently had my gallbladder removed through Keyhole. They remove the air somehow, the most pain from the surgery is if you cough and some shoulder pain. Getting your gallbladder taken out feels a lot better than any pain beforehand. It took me about 1 week to have any internal pain stop, then 2 for the soreness to go down. Personally I haven't been changing my diet too much and I don't have really any side effects. Also if you already drink nondairy milk you're pretty good on the diet front. Best of luck, I am sure you will feel so much better.

This vid was so meta - my thoughts feel a bit like the way you edit and the stuff you talk about in these vlogs. Can’t wait for you to get a cat! I don’t have a garden and my cats are indoors because hello, city life. And they’re happy. Had them since they were babies so they don’t know the outdoor life.

“There’s no other step of like translating your feelings into words” oh, yes, there is! I have an internal monologue but i usually think in english, and since i’m hungarian, and i live in hungary, ppl would find it sooo strange if i’d speak in english to them, and sometimes (when i’m feeling really shit and i have automatic thoughts) it’s near impossible to translate the english and get hungarian words out, so i just end up not speaking at those times :/

Leaving some love here, take what you need ❤

The thing is, I have a running monologue with added stuff on top of that. Which just makes my brain muddled- always has, always will I reckon. But I find it just as hard to talk properly (I think) because you still need to filter and use proper grammar and things like that. It’s very strange but very interesting.

i had a feeling there was something wrong with your gallbladder, i just thought it was gallstones tbh but wow i'm glad you've found out what it is.
About the surgery, it is truly not that bad. I got my gallbladder out about 3 years ago, i had gallstones and pancreatitis and it was dangerous. they didn't tell me about the air that'd be pumped in, so after i had bad wind pain in my shoulder and chest etc and it was hard and unexpected. but it went after a day or so, had to walk around the hospital halls to help relieve it. the first few days after the surgery was difficult, of course, but i was so relieved that i wasn't going to deal with that horrible pain again. it was the worst pain i've ever experienced and honestly fuck the gallbladder like. again, wasn't told about the fat digestion and such so i was eating normally for about 2 years afterwards before i realised oh wow i don't feel good i should try figure that out and am on something now to help the digestion.
if i could rewind, i'd do the surgery again 100%. honestly i have a bit of fear attached to that time of my life, because the pain was so terrible and i was very anxious about it.
obviously do what you think is best dodes, i'm glad to see you uploading again, i've missed your videos. i hope it gets better for you!

I'm literally crying to a video about Dodie talking about liver pains because I've missed her videos so flipping much. Dodie you have helped me through so so much your book is one of the best things I've ever read and you will always be in my life. Please take care of yourself ily <3

you'd think hearing full sentences in my head would make it easier to talk but what it really means is i just never shut up

“How does your brain know what is real and what isn’t? ...*smirks* I mean mine doesn’t” laughs
😂😂😂

dodie ! I had my gallbladder taken out a few years ago, and after keyhole surgery, my stomach felt really tight as they used medical glue on the incisions instead of stitches and you might throw up afterwards. I still have five 2cm scars on my stomach but to be without the pain will be worth it. good luck, whatever you do!

i forgot how much i love you. i've missed you dodie

3:43 it's not my fault... I was raised by open mouths and teary eyes 😏

i missed this so much!! love hearing you talk

When I was between the age 14 -18 my thoughts were only colour and pictures and I couldn't tell what I was thinking. That was also when my mental state was at it's worse. Now at the age of 21 my thoughts are back to being a running monolog and the only time I see colours and movies are when I'm sleeping or daydreaming. It's now a lot easier to put feelings into words because my brain can put a word on it, when I was a teenager my head was a mess and I didnt know what was going on with me. Therapy helped me a lot :)

Don't mind me watching this 7 months later but I was just recently talking about the internal monologue thing with my friends recently and they thought it was crazy that I don't have one! Glad I'm not the only one lmaooo

I got my gallbladder removed a few years ago! It was scary but super easy! Now I have the cutest little tummy scars and eating a lot of oil makes me sick but it's all good! It is not as scary as it seems I promise!

My roommate and I had the same conversation about the thoughts as words vs feelings and I have the monologue and she has the abstract and it is so weird trying to conceptualize that...

You should read the "Chaos Walking" trilogy by Patrick Ness! He explores the mind reading trope in a very interesting and visual way, more pictures and feelings than sentences

Omg I really hope you are ok. This sounds so horrible. 😭💙

I feel you with the gallbladder pain...a few years ago I also experienced that pain, for a year - it's so bad, that you can't stand up straight and it feels like you're gonna die. Mine was due to small gallstones that kept in going into bile duct and getting stuck and causing infection - dr. said the stones were caused because I lost 20 kilos in 3 months (so my body couldn't keep up with the change and my gallbladder ended up overproducing bile, forming the stones) and me not having enough fat in my diet while doing so. I had my gallbladder removed and am fine - I can still eat rich or fatty foods (I don't often, just cause I don't prefer fatty foods), it'll just start affecting me when I eat a couple of that type of meals consecutively in a short period of time, but it goes by very fast and then everything's fine again. Moral of the story: I'm so sorry you experienced that pain, it truly is unbearable and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and then, I urgh you to rather have your gallbladder removed if the pain persists/problems persist. Life post gallbladder removal isn't much different than before, I was also scared to remove it, but I'm glad I did - it does however differ from person to person. Love your music! Would love to collab one day (I also sing and play piano). Best of luck with everything, you're doing better than you think you are 👌🙌🙌🙌🌺 cheers from South Africa

I really missed these types of videos where you feel like you’re having a nice chat with a friend at a sleepover

Dont know if she reads this but i’ve had that surgery
I had stones on my gallbladder so it had to be removed. The surgery was fine, i woke up in pain but it was because the doctor cut a piece of my liver because it had a lump that could be maleficent and he was already there so thats what was hurting. Usually just removing the organ doesn’t hurt (it’s what the other people that had the surgery told me). Also you do fart the air out, you take some medication and it becomes gas and u fart it. The recovery was quick, like a week or so, but it took longer because of the liver thing, it’s supposed to take like 2 days. Also I didn’t change my diet, but i do get diarrhea quite often tho, it’s not super awful, but i prefer that than avoiding eating the foods with fat. I did become intolerant to butter tho, don’t know if thats common. Yeah, that’s about it, don’t know if that’s comforting, but it’s not as terrible as you’re thinking.

My thoughts is one long monologue (like I hear the words) but I’m still really bad at talking and finding the right words. The conversation I have in my head is so smooth, but it’s like my thoughts are moving too fast and I loose the words I’m trying to say 😅

Also Fun fact: I work in a hospital in that section where things that get removed (like gallbladders) go for examination! No one probably cares but it’s a brand new job and I’m very exited about it, haha

I for sure have an inner monologue. I have whole conversations in my head with myself and I think in full sentences most of the time. I can also visual things in my head really well though. I do find it easy to talk, but maybe too easy because I have an awful filter. I have anxiety and sometimes can’t stop myself from talking too much. But I didn’t realize that not everyone thinks like that until recently

I had my gallbladder out in 2019. The surgery was 30 minutes and recovery was about a week! If you’re in pain I highly suggest it. I am lucky that I don’t have any dietary changes now. I was scared too, but they perform thousands of gallbladder surgeries every year so it’s very low risk :) good luck!

Bile is an emulsifier, so it mixes the fat up, and makes it easier for the enzymes to break it down (I believe)

I also just checked with my dad (who’s a doctor) wtf happens with the air, and they just pump it out through the the keyholes

Hi Dodie ! Hope you see this...

You know what... Everything in the body is connected. No surprise you have gallbladder problems, you seem to worry all the time. And you know what, in french, when you're worrying we say "se faire de la bile". Literally "making bile", making gall.

I've had some of those big tummy aches. Really bad, during hours and then slowly disappearing. I figured out this was coming when I was feeling very unconfident (in the people or the situation or myself). Relaxing myself and conscious breathing helped me a lot.
Just acknowledging the thing helps in fact.

I don't say this is what you have, obviously you've got a physical problem here. But think about it, what if your body just sends you a simple message about how you're feeling and what you should do ?

Lots of love, I listen to your work/videos since I'm 16, and i'm nearly 24 now. I like how I see similarities between your development and mine ^^
<3

P.S If you want to visit Switzerland, I can help

Hey dodie, I also have upper abdominal pains that sound very similar(especially the Emergency Room stuff) if you’d like to know my experiences with dealing with it thus far, just let me know. Good luck.

I appreciate that you actually made the vlog 10+ mins :)

I have the running monologue, I think exacerbated by having ADHD (which I was only diagnosed with an adult not knowing hyperactivity can be psychological not physical) and my inner voice is pretty much constantly chatting away. I guess if it was a bit more chill it would be coherent like you’re imagining, but also imagining it never shutting up including when you want to sleep...

i love this messy vlogs! it feels so human

also, I cannot see the apple
ive never been able to imagine images and never thought that was even possible until last year, my mind is always full of sentences and sounds, but never images
sometimes it really sucks, I can't visualize my loved ones faces, as a visual artist, can't visualize my drawings before making them, so i would finish an idea and realise it doesn't really work
since I know people are able to imagine I've been getting kinda better, I think maybe? idk just writing as I thought, because that's and advantage of thinking sentences ;)

I love Dodie so much. 💛💛💛

Love you Dodie!

A couple things for dodie or anyone who could use it. I’ve had my gall bladder out and yeah you get sore and it takes some time to heal but I was at the zoo walking around with not much pain within the week. Also they do blow you up but your body will expel any extra as your body would with any gas either through farts or burps.

Also I too have a running monologue although I’d almost classify it as a running dialogue between major key elements or aspects of me. So all in my voice but kind of talking to each other. I can picture things easily in my mind so if you told me to picture and apple it would be more of a string of words and characteristics and not a picture. Kind of odd but useful at time. I still sometimes have trouble expressing things I feel cause I almost physically feel them but I can’t see them or anything and it’s typically something I could describe but that would only really make sense in my mind.

Sending love and support~
Also, I definitely think like you! 0-0

You’re mind is beautiful

When I had my baby, I read somewhere (among all the many somethings I was told to read) that talking out loud to your baby helped them bond to you and develop language.

I started narrating everything I did because a newborn can’t hold up their end of the conversation. It made me so self conscious. I would talk to my baby in Spanish in public because almost no one else around could understand and then English at home. It fundamentally shifted my brain. I think in sentences in a away I didn’t before. My kid is now 5 years old and now he narrates what he’s doing. Maybe I’ve fundamentally made his brain work in sentences too. Idk

I have scattered, incoherent thoughts, but when I focus on something in particular, like a task, there's more of a monologue.

I love the twilight books as well, can’t change my mind.




The air goes out your shoulders, it does hurt.. and it’s very weird.

I have the monologue “ability” and I didn’t know that THAT wasn’t how everyone thought. And I’m suddenly self conscious about my thinking. Like I have all the stuff going on that dodie mentioned. Like there’s music and fears and stuff but it’s almost like the sentences are all chopped up and jumbled together and I’m able to sort it out because I’ve always thought this way but if I were to put it on a page it’d be a thought. A single sentence thought but it’d take like four or five lines because there’d be lyrics and drums and my fears and stuff interrupting it at times.

My mom got her gall bladder removed when I was little & she was even talking the other day about how awful the pain was before getting it removed

My thoughts: To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

Me speaking: I, um, yeah that um was very interesting ha

I had my gallbladder surgically removed when I was only 9 years old because it just literally decided to kill itself after I ate McDonalds one night. I'm fine though lmao so Dodie will hopefully also end up just fine.

Thinking in monologues is great for analysis for sure, but you can quickly feel super trapped in the little boxes of vocabulary!!! Consciousness is a cage for us!!

To answer the talking question: I have a running monologue but whenever i want to say something my brain just glitches and takes ages to think of something to say so talking is very difficult for me

My God, my thoughts are just like yours. It feels like all things at once are just poping in your head out of nowhere in so many different places.
Also, this is a real burden when I have discussion with my friend and I'm trying to come with logical arguments and I understand her point of view, and I know why I disagree (or agree with her) but it's more like feeling or image or even colour or smell or texture. And it doesn't help that those thing pop out all at once, without warning. Like I think I named it and said it, but another thing comes which also seems true to me and suddenly there's somehow third side of the coin. My god, I'm so bad at discussing things...

I think it may have something to do with mind being more intuitive or more sensing (like with MBTI) and those I types are more like ideas, smells and pictures and those S types are more like words but I dunno. It's just a random thought :p

I've got like a mix between weird, everywhere thoughts and running monologue. It switches between, usually, or mushes together

HAHAHAH as someone with a running monologue brain I can tell you it does NOTHING to help with translating feelings and thoughts into sentences for me

Having OCD makes my running monologue a terrible train ride slowly descending into a train wreck.

I tend to talk too much when I'm anxious until the thoughts constrict me.

I like the way you think too Dodie. A memory and music sounds wonderful as well.

Don't be too harsh on yourself.

Easy to say hard to do I know.

You are so wholesome my heart can't take itt. If you do surgery I hope it goes well but either way I hope you feel better!! You are an amazing and inspiring person who doesn't deserve to go through any of that. Also I'm sorry people aren't letting you adopt a cat friend but i hope you get one soon so they can help you write your second book haha <3

Dodie, hopefully I can help you feel better with my own gallbladder tale.
I had my gallbladder out a couple years ago at 21. I went to the ER at 2am once in the worst pain of my life and had a bunch of scans and tests, the ER doctors were amazing and helpful. However the doctor who I went to for his opinion on seeing a specialist told me I was 'too young' to have issues with my gallbladder and then asked me if I was sure it wasn't my period (he also answered his phone during my appointment and pressed on my abdomen without letting me know he was going to). I ended up being like "I'm not in pain anymore" and this doctor had made me doubt myself so I didn't see the specialist. I ended up back in the ER 6 months later, and had to face the same ER doctor who very politely told me I should get the scan he told me to get 6 months ago. But yeah they discovered my gallbladder was garbage and full of stones and took it out. Recovery wasn't bad at all and they literally GLUED the incisions because they were so small and I can barely see the scars two years on. I was however on heavy drugs and a few hours after my surgery decided to have my best friend drive me to my sister's house (I was on drugs and couldn't drive, safety first kids) so we could all watch a scary movie, and for some reason nobody stopped me.
TLDR: I had terrible advice from a medical 'professional', but once I got my gallbladder out I've felt so much better and recovery was very easy.

I just had surgery a couple of weeks ago to get one of my ovaries taken out because there was a cyst that made it grow to the size of a football lol. I hate the idea of being put to sleep too and it was really scary to think of being unconscious and cut open but my surgery went really well and it feels so much better now to have the sick organ gone and my body healing. That is a really big decision to make and I know you'll decide whatever is best for you, but if you do get it done just remember that the doctors have done this all before and they know what they're doing and want the best results for you too and I hope you're able to feel a little more at peace about it <3 lots of love

I'm 23 years old. I remember 7 year old me beginning a live narration of my life, nearly transcribing every detail of my life into chapters of the book of my life to be read by future generations by some advanced technological technique all in my head, and a few years later feeling that this was a childish habit and devoting the next few years to quitting the narration out of embarrassment but not knowing how humans were SUPPOSED to think and idk my thoughts have never been the same...

Man, I didn't realise how much I missed these videos of you talking about your thoughts and stuff. I don't really use social media so I haven't seen much of you but I know you've been touring. Anyway, really interesting thoughts about the way people visualise things in their mind and the way their inner monologue works. I found out a year or so ago that some people can't see images in their mind and they only see words?? So they can't dream in pictures, it's just words. That's insane to me.


My inner monologue isn't just a running script but it also kinda is? I don't see words but I am speaking... It's like reading a book. Sure, sometimes music plays but it can't play while I'm thinking so it pretty rarely plays. I'm not a musical person and rarely listen to music because my inner voice is so loud and doesn't shut up. It's like as if I were speaking to myself aloud. So yeah, I do think sometimes that I feel like oat milk out of nowhere or that maybe I should do this or I feel like that. I have a lot of imaginary conversations in my mind. That's why I really like journalling. The thoughts just keep coming and could go on for as long as I'm conscious. But then that leads me to write super long paragraphs like this one that aren't very concise.

Your great keep thinking about your thoughts. Choices are best to make yourself so make it then life with it knowing it's what u wanted at the time

!! you can get cats who have never been outside! like housebound cats! i can’t remember the word but a lot of shelters i’ve been to have cats who are happier just being inside!! <3

Also- Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf is written as thoughts. I highly recommend the book. It’s basically like written memories which jump to thoughts and feelings. Woolf also shifts perspective between the thoughts of one character to another. It’s really clever but sometimes harder to read as it gets confusing.

Literally, everything you explain as your symptoms were what I experienced. I'd seen a doc so many times, but by the time I got there the pain was gone. I thought it was gas related, sometimes the pain would feel like it was in my back? I'd also have to roll around in pain, and a hot bath could dull it. By the time I got to the hospital when it was unbearable, they said they have to take it out RIGHT NOW, EMERGENCY! It was about to explode...so. Yeah. Life without it is great so far, it's been almost two years. Happy I am rid of it before it got rid of me.

Me: “how can she afford an Ambulance???” Also me: lives in the US

i needed this... clarification of... me not being the only one thinking. I know it seems kinda weird, but i haven't encountered a well reflected and philosophising human in a long time. Thank you

Dodie is soooo beautiful with glasses. Her eyes especially, like oh my god

I recognized your descriptions of your pain as my own. Hopefully they'll take your gallbladder out soon, the recovery from laparoscopy is so fast and you Just get a few scars in exchange for no pain. :-) good luck.

You're so pure and funny 😄😆♥️

I have what you mentioned about a running monologue in my brain, and honestly it's not much easier to talk as it would be for someone who doesn't have words in their brain. most of the sentences that I say verbally are so broken and jumbled. I actually speak worse than most people do. just some input from someone who can imagine words and say full sentences in my brain!

Nice to hear from you Dodie

yo dodie this conversation about how people think is exactly how i've felt and its so hard to describe to people because im like "i dont think right but im fine but theres nothing in my brain"

i enjoy it when dodie explains things

IM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE HAS THIS ISSUE W THE JUMPBLY WORDS OMG IM LISTENING TO YOU TALK ABOUT MY OWN BRAIN WTF WE ARE SAME YES

The best of luck if you decide to go for the surgery dear Dodie💕

dodie really looks like a goddess oh my goodness

when i found out people can hear their thoughts i freaked out. my brain is the same way, i don’t think in words, just abstract concepts and feelings that lead me to acting in them. if i ever were to have an “internal monologue” it would be talking to myself. that’s the only way i can hear my thoughts in a coherent sentence. my therapist would ask me what thoughts usually triggered me to feel a certain way and i would always be like “idk it just happens there’s no specific thoughts” cause i never knew some people hear their thoughts. like i can hear right now when i’m typing this but that’s because i’m making a conscious effort to turn my thoughts into words. it’s wild

I feel bad that you have to figure out how to function like this too, but it's a relief to hear that someone else's thoughts are like this instead of a clear running monologue!

I have a chronic pain condition, and it can be really hard to figure out what's the best thing to do. Your decision is your own, and I hope it all works out

hey Dodie! I'm a bit late, but I wanted to say that my mom had the same thing when she was in college and what worked for her was exercising. she had a treadmill and would take a brisk walk on it until she felt better and could sleep. she did eventually have get gallbladder removed, though, with robot surgery, and she's all good now! she hasn't altered her diet too much either, so it wasn't too bad for her and she found that she was far more worried than necessary :)

"Out of practice" WELL ITS ABOUT TIME YOU GOT BACK IN PRACTICE YOU BEAN IVE MISSED YOU

I've been thinking the exact same thing about the style of thoughts thing! I'm deffo more of a dodie than a monologue thoughts kinda person

its hard to deal with a running monologue because sometimes it runs too fast for you to handle. sometimes you think yrself into a loop without really grasping onto the concept you're thinking about because you just keep going on and on about it.

I would love to read a collection of super power short stories!

My thoughts are a mix of talking, images, music, feelings, etc. The talking and images take up pretty equal amounts of my time with feelings throughout and stuff like music occasionally. I thought this was basically how everyone thinks?

When I read Twilight I had that same thought of "people don't think in full sentences" and then I realized that thought was a full sentence lol

Inner monologuer here: Just cause we have coherent thoughts doesn't mean it's easy to talk about feelings. 9 times out of 10 language cant adequately describe what I'm feeling.

I just realized how MUCH I missed dodie omg

i can't see an apple when i try to close my eyes & imagine it! it's weird -- i can imagine the idea of it, or words to describe it. the words one isn't really imagining it. it's just describing it with words. can y'all seriously, like... see an apple when you close your eyes? or anything you can come up with? :0

I really like your glasses. Thanks for reading this!

The air does go! A friend of mine had a surgery that required her to have air pumped into her. It dissapates!!! You just have to move around

on one hand i feel like the fact that i have an inner monologue does help me communicate more easily but on the other hand my thoughts move so fast i speak a mile a minute and promptly forget what i was just thinking so i think it probably balances out....like imagine taking lecture notes on a prof that speaks literally nonstop on like 2x speed. its hard lol

As somebody who’s missing an organ, it’s not as scary as you think ❤️ In regards to the air thing typically you burp it out and stuff like that, it does cause a tiny bit of back pain/headaches though. But the decision’s yours :)

i love you so much, thank you for sharing your thoughts

warning gross stuff btw: i had my gall bladder out and had similar thing where i had random pains every few months but i ended up getting pancreatitis because of the gallstones and was in hospital for two weeks because of the pancreatitis. since getting it out i occasionally get heartburn but ive not had to change my diet at all and the recovery was really quick from the operation! bearing in mind i had an abscess on the gall bladder that popped (lmao 🙃) so i had to stay in hospital longer to get it drained so i didnt even have a “typical” op/recovery and i recovered so much quicker than i genuinely thought i would. id recommend getting it out because that pain is awful

Being one of these people who have a running monologue in their heads, I'm jealous of those who can think in images, or sounds, or anything that's not just words. I won't lie, it makes some things easier (I think, I'm just assuming from what I experienced and what people have told me) but just as you need to translate your thoughts into words, we sometimes struggle to translate our thoughts into something else, be it images, sounds, even actions, anything else.

Yeah my thoughts kind of come out in word form. For me, it helps me visualize my thoughts more and helps me sound a bit more articulate but it also makes reading hard for me because my brain doesn’t wanna read fast. I basically read as fast as a normal person speaks and that sucks

it always feels and looks like I basically have a chalkboard in my head constantly making words like right now and sometimes I can have amazing conversations but sometimes its not fun and I'm silent for 90% of the conversation because my mind can't find the right words so i space out and try and think of the right words for a long time. also when you told me to think of an apple I saw a red apple in like a black space with a flat bottom with the word Apple written above it in white. my brain is weird and sometimes when i switch topics constantly my mind goes blank and basically starts a new page. noooooo nevermind my mind is like those Required tests where you can choose whether you want a black background with white writing or grey with pink writing or navy with yellow writing or black with white writing. If you were typing up a story and inverted the colors so the words were white instead of black and the background were black instead of white. I hope this makes some kind of sense. also thank you if you read through this I hope youre having a good day

having a running monologue is a blessing and a curse. you can talk super fast and know what you're saying but also invasive thoughts that just pop in and you're like ' now, why did i think a thing like that"

I've actually never heard that you need a garden in order to have a cat. my cat just lives inside my apartment, and that works fine for us. except for right now, when for some strange reason she's decided she needs to be fed at midnight, even though her usual feeding times are 8am and 5:30pm. she's so loud.

1) dodie in jeans OH MY GOD
2) Dodie’s skin OH MY GOD
3) OH MY GOD I needed dodie today

The issue with me is that I DO have a running monologue in my head, but it’s stuck up there. As soon as I try to speak or write my thoughts, I freeze up and it all seems like gibberish.

my inner monologue also changes voices(and i’m sure other people’s monologues to do) but like if i watch a lot of one persons videos or spend and lot of time with someone i start to hear my thoughts in their voice.

hi!! i’ve had ‘keyhole’ surgery for my gallbladder! i had horrendous pain and knew i had to get rid of it, i totally understand the fear about this surgery. let me tell you, it was the best decision i made. the air in your abdomen is strange, and yes ! it moves around and can cause pain. mine moved to my shoulder. BUT!! the healing process was so so fast! i feel so great now and recovered quickly and I would recommend this operation to anyone :) best of luck !!

Had gall stones and my gallbladder was dying about 2 years back. Experienced the same pains for about 3 years, went to a foreign country, had those pains for 3 days straight, went to the er, waited for 3 hrs straight, long story short, got mine taken out. As for the gas thing, Idk what happens to it, but it was the most painful part of the surgery.

I have a running monologue in my head but I have all kinds of anxiety about talking. And telling people how I feel is overwhelming as helllll. Even though I can explain to myself in my head fully and thoroughly how I feel, my mouth won't let it come out? So it is not any better than just feeling with no words because its still just as hard to get it out :(
Lmao but this conversation was nice. I love hearing about how other people just perceive life in the most basic way, like seeing an apple in their head.

When I was a child I had no friends and so I would pretend I had friends and talk to them out loud (like imaginary friends but they weren’t mermaids or something just people). That has now translated to me always thinking in full sentences as if I’m talking to a second person in my mind. Sometimes I wonder if talk it out loud on accident in public 😬😬

The fact that you perfectly described the thoughts in my head...🙄🙄

I have a "running monologue" as it were, but I don't always find it easy to talk, because I can't always find the next word...if that makes sense. I love these sorts of rambly stream of consciousness videos!

It is a very hard decision to make, especially when you feel well for a lot of the time. I have had a lot of open surgery, six plus abdominal surgeries. All outside of real decision making, they where all very necessary so I empathise with how hard it can be for you, to have a choice and having that decision to make. If this is something that really starts to interfere with your life, it is worth thinking about and talking through it with your family and doctors. I have the hindsight to say that keyhole would of been a great option, it wasn't offered because my body is way complicated and needed to go the whole hog to fix things. I understand it is so scary, the not knowing and worry about afterwards is the worst, (sometimes scarier than the actual surgery) the recovery and how you will be. I have had a lot done, but even still it can be scary, you just have to have faith and remember that you will get to the other end of it. Any changes to your biology can be worked on with your doctors. I don't know an awful lot about the gallbladder but it is a common surgery and I'm certain there are many ways to manage after surgery and medications to help with digestion and the balance of acids and bile. As for the air thing, as far as I know some of the air escapes after they remove the bits and bobs used for the surgery (bits and bobs sounds nicer lol) the rest then breaks down and goes away on its own. I'm guessing it's something to do with the chemistry and how the air dissipates. Anytime I had a procedure where they used air, it just feels the same as having regular wind, little sharp twinges, just feels like bad indigestion but it goes away. Having keyhole will mean you won't be bed bound for too long following surgery, being able to move around more will help with the leftover gas too. Moving helps with a lot of things, minor discomfort and slow digestion, once you get your energy back and do your every day bits you will soon feel your body coming back to itself.


(Just a wee disclaimer lol)
I also try my best to avoid sounding condescending, just because I've had a lot of surgery does not mean I think people should feel luckier or less scared to have their first or even a less complex procedure. Our pain is our pain and everyones experience is valid. It's hard to gauge how my words may seem to others and I am aware that with experience comes the "yeah but it's easy for you to say, you've already done it". All I want to do is try and help people who are scared feel a little less frightened and also less alone in it. We all get uncomfortable with the loss of control that comes with these things. It brings a lot to the surface.


I don't know if this helps in any way, but at least could be somewhat reassuring if you do choose to have surgery. <3 Thinking about you Dodie x

When I heard the clapping and snapping I was suddenly transported back to 2016 😌

i’m more and more in love w you every video :)

I have a running monologue and it makes it super hard to sleep, since I can hear my thoughts while im trying to sleep and I just go off into random tangents that I forget the next morning. Also I too constantly have some sort of music playing my head.

It was very nice to hear from you again. Until next time :)

I have an inner monologue, but I guess I've never really thought about it until now. For me the problem with talking isn't so much having to translate my feelings into words, it's more about keeping myself filtered. I can't just say whatever I'm thinking, because then I would just sound crazy and rude. I have to change around words and stuff in order for anything to come out of my mouth, if that makes sense.

My ex gf had two cats in her apartment, she'd turned her balcony into a little playground for them with plants and chickenwire so they could see out and climb on it but not fall out. It really looked like a tiny jungle.

I had a similar situation but I had Gallbladder stones/gallstones. Same symptoms and I did in fact have to have my gallbladder removed. It wasn’t painful as I was asleep and letting them do all the work. Forward to post surgery it was a week of laying in bed unable to laugh without pain but after that it got better. There is nothing wrong with taking out your gallbladder, you can live fine without it in fact you don’t even realize it’s gone. No changes, no nothing so don’t worry trust me it takes the pain away.

Idk why this video cracked me up so much but it did, just the way she worded things! Love it. Funny and strangely comforting.

I love dodie 💛
what the heck I love her
hey and the thing at the end yeah sometimes I’ll be having a good time and then bam I’m worried or sad or stressed about this thing so

how is it possible to love a human being as much as i love dodie

In response to: Where does the AIR GO?
I've had a laparoscopy for endo, and they also inflate you for that (dunno if it's exactly the same but I assume so). Basically they suck most of it back out at the end, but there's often a bit leftover. It's a gas your body can process so it will eventually go into your bloodstream and like leave your body as waste. However, what can happen just after surgery is that the bubble of air sits under your diaphragm and irritates it so you get referred nerve pain in your shoulder (bodies are WEIRD). But if you get up and move around the bubble of gas disperses into smaller, easier to process bubbles, and the pain goes away.

Funny how I originally became a fan of you all those years ago because I thought you were fun and quirky and had a strong online presence I could relate to. Now, after all this time of watching you grow as a person while I also grew up, it's so lovely to see you as this chill, mature person who has clearly learned so much from life. It makes me really happy. Even though I don't even know you, I almost feel like we grew together in this strange way.

Dodie just made me realize how shit the internet was back then.....please come back. I promise it's gotten better <3

Hey, you could look into fasting (both intermittent or extended, though especially extended might be beneficial). I don't want to make it sound like a cure-all, but it did help me with some recurring chronic pain, and many other people, with different conditions. Sending hugs! 💛

What you said about thoughts was very interesting. I think I have 2 ways of thinking. If there is a goal or a reason for a thought then it`s always in words. But if I`m just randomly thinking and reakting to something, for example just looking around or daydreaming, then there is no words. But as soon as I realise that I ”exist” the word comes back. Does anyone feel the same??

10/10 recommend getting your gallbladder getting removed if you need it! Best decision I ever made 🌟 obviously there is post-op pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain I was in before x

aaaw the thing of imagining the life w the cat before I even get it happens to me all the time too!! With al kinds of stuff :D

I also don't have inner monologue, I think in concepts, feelings, messes. I discovered a few years back that 'inner monologue' was not Just a narrative device, when someone asked me if my inner voice sounded like my real voice and I was like whattt?? Inner voice????
Anyway post-surgery pain was NOTHING, PRACTICALLY NONEXISTENT in comparison to gallbladder pain.

As someone who does luckily have a running monologue in my head and doesn’t usually have a problem articulating my feelings, hearing your perspective was very surreal to think about and has helped me understand some of those in my life who struggle put thoughts to words. I usually get quite frustrated but you’ve transformed my mindset. The only thing I’d say about having ‘ fully formed’ thoughts is that it makes it extremely easy to over analyze as the detail you are able to delve into ( whether it’s in relation to a scenario you’re anticipating or a conversation you’ve had ) is excruciating lol . Just my thoughts ! :)

i've missed dodie's vlogs with my whole heart. welcome back love.

hey, by the way, my mum had her gallbladder removed and she was absolutely fine and could eat normal amounts of fat within 2 months so if you do get it removed you'll be fine

As someone with a running monologue in my head, it's honestly not as fun as you'd think it'd be. Very often my mind will go too fast for my mouth or body to keep up with, which means that (especially in stressful situations) i have a stammer that makes me smush words up and skip them out, particularly when writing. it's also not fun when you're trying not to think about something, as my mind very usually just goes in loops and loops of 'hey do you remember this thing? oh shit, i shouldn't think about that thing... anyways what about this thing?' and it's really hard to get out of

Honestly I feel like I may have the running monologue thing. But honestly it really wears you down over time, sometimes it just feels like some static or fuzz or something constantly running in my head.


I just wish I could learn to take things one step at a time more often. Ack, I don't like my mind.

I previously commented on how I have a running monologue, I do, but one thing that’s difficult is you can find it hard not to say exactly what’s on your mind like sometimes someone is nasty I imagine something nasty back and sometimes I say it aloud. Awkward right. But when the monologue stops I zone out completely, people can’t speak to me I stare at a spot on the wall. The longer it does it the heavier my head feels then I “wake up” and it actually feels like I’ve just had a nap and I’m tired. I think it might be that my brain has been thinking, working on things without me being able to hear but idk

"It must be easy to talk for you"


Hon, I wish it were, but it doesnt translate well...




Also... half of my mind monologue is me screaming soooooo.

Your description of your thoughts, as all over the place as it is, is the MOST ACCURATE description of what goes on in my head i've heard yet. No internal monologue, like your average super-villain describing his master plan (muhahahaha), just images and cravings, and memories and urges, etc. And music in the background, of course. The idea of loss of consciousness for me causes immense anxiety as well. And change, although I am learning to deal with that with the help of medication. Love your "squeezy pump" description of gall bladder- made me chuckle.

i deal with derealization as well and it's super weird and it's been a few years since i first started noticing it but the older i get the easier i think it is to deal with. but sometimes i'm super duper aware of my existence like it's intense and it gives me anxiety but it only lasts like 1 minute or so idk it's strange. it's just nice knowing i'm not the only one although i wouldn't wish the sense of anxiety upon anyone

hey dodie! i hope you do see this because i was in the same boat as you!! i didnt have my gallbladder removed, but i also had a laparoscopy, and i was terrified!!!!! make sure your anaethetist/surgeon knows you're super freaked out and they may be able to give you something ;)) i was in an absolute state and my anaethetist gave me something that made me veeeery high lol he actually got told off by the surgeon because i think youre supposed to give final consent but if youre uncontrollably scared they will help you!!

as for the gas being inside, you do get a bit of aching and pain in your shoulders/ribs area because it sort of,,, floats?? its quite gross and a bit unpleasant but its not bad considering you got chopped elsewhere. It'll be over before you know it and although hospitals are awful, you will feel so much better once you've had it removed!! temporary pain in order to get rid of long term, sounds good!! good luck <3

Omg I was just talking about this with my family cause I find it so weird that people don’t have an inner monologue, like do you hear your voice in your head when you read but not out loud, if someone walks past you and you think cute hair! Do you hear yourself say that or what? How can you think cute hair! Without hearing those words, I’m so confused, side note- my birthday is also in April!

your fear for the internet is probably warranted but hi I'm Jo and in this part of the internet we're just rllyyyy happy to see a video of you again!!

I had the same realization about people having running monologues. Also blew my mind lmao! I think like you do - it's a lot of feeling and pictures and flashes/weird transitions, sometimes a word or two here. Like for example, if i was thirsty I would see a glass of water, feel thirsty and think "water" while also thinking of the nearest place to get water. It's mostly pictures, and I too usually have a song running in the background 😂So I feel you on the whole struggling to express yourself.



PS. about the keyhole surgery - they try and suck out as much of the air as possible before closing you, and then the little that's left will eventually get absorbed into your organs (usually the gut) and make its way out your body, but you might be a little bloated post-op. It's one of the reasons they get you to start moving around as soon as possible post-op! I'm a first year med student so this may not be 100% correct, and I know the idea of surgery is scary (it scares me too), but you don't have to worry about air being stuck in you forever :p

you don't need a garden to have a cat! my best friend lives in a flat 6 stories up and her cat is an indoor one who never leaves. she's had her for 7 years :)

My god pleaaase make a book!!!! I love when you talk and when you sing!!♡♡♡ p.s: from Brazil!!sorry the english! LoL
Você é linda!!!♡♡te amo!

I was born with my gallbladder in a knot,( I found out when I was 11 because I had kidney stones, still do,and I got a whole abdominal ecography) I've learnt that I can't eat a lot of stuff at once, and if something isn't good for me I go in attacks. Most of the time I puke a lot, once it hurt like hell and I thought I was dying and a few days ago I had a full on fever because of it (and nausea) and my immune system went ↘️ so now I got the flu.

"I was a mess, I still am I mess, please don't listen to anything I say".
same girl. same.

I love you Dodie just needed to say that

I have a running monologue and yet find it really difficult to express what i'm thinking with words

You should read 'the Knife of Never Letting Go' by Patrick Ness! It's a YA book where everyone's thoughts are exposed to everyone else all the time, and perfectly captures what your talking about - how thoughts are a mess of feelings and images and words and it's all muddled and disjointed and hard to follow. (I also don't relate at all to the idea of a perfect verbal inner monologue)

If you have "a running dialogue," you have to say it all with full memory and no practice time, so can still get mucked up in the panic of the moment.

me: dodies been gone so long i wonder what shes doing
dodie: cats and gallbladders
me: seems about right

dodie. i relate to you so hard. we have grown up together, as i just turned 25 this week myself and i have been following you since the beginning and i always wish i could call you up and have a chat, don't worry, i won't! to add my opinion, definitely think you need the surgery and also you overcame the idea you would never skydive.... just take this jump, too. also, as you know, all of our brains are different. that's okay! cats- you will have a cat. you will, soon. change- i have been feeling the same way ever since i got closer to 25 and it is weird for me because i have struggled with change my whole life but also i like controlling change (hair, home, etc.) but also i feel like i am ready to make big changes?? surely you don't care to read this but it doesn't hurt just in case... anyway, your new music sounds amazing and i am so here for it. take care!! would enjoy another rambling update. :-)

I've experienced something like that and I think it's really (REALLY) bad indigestion. One time I had it so bad I thought my appendix burst and I went to the ER. They said they saw nothing & that was probably gas & sent me home with a painkiller. Everytime after that I've just had to tough it out. After many years I was able to pinpoint it. It seems I get it whenever I mess up my eating schedule. If I don't eat enough or miss a meal and I finally get to eat, there's usually a chance it will happen. It also tends to happen when I overeat. It starts as little mild bellyache but gradually gets worse and worse by the hour. And by the time I lay down to sleep I'm in the fetal position with waves of pain that feels like being stabbed while hot lead moves down my intestines! You said every 6 months or so and that's about the same with me. I've found the combination alka seltzer, ibuprofen, pepto, something to help me sleep (melatonin or non habit cough syrup) will help get through the night. And come morning it's all gone like nothing ever happened. I'm built kinda small for a guy so maybe it has something to do with stomach size? Anyway, hopefully the lump they found isn't serious. Good luck with everything and I'm looking forward to some new music!

I have a running monologue in my mind, but it is still a mess. It's like having a dialogue aand mid sentece you are jumping topics. One of the few times when I actually create pictures or scenes in my mind, are when someone describes something. Like in books for example.

7:00 actually, i kinda have that!! i also do like hear music and shit and see pictures occasionally , but it is actually making forming words even harder. you see, my mind thinks faster then i can talk, which makes it harder to say stuff. i’m also bilingual , and so it’s half-half, and i still have to translate it all when i try to say it. it also makes me talk SO much bc i already have it all planned out yknow? so uhm,, don’t be jealous lmao

Dodie has a way of being and saying exactly what my day needed and m aking me smile

for me, my running monologue is random as hell. like, it's full sentences that almost overlap. it's a mess. it's like a rat's nest of words that i have to untangle and make sense of. i also think in pictures, so it's a mix of all of it

3:43 “It’s not my fault” from Special Girl!!!

Having an inner monologue is hell to me, you say it would be good to analyse your thoughts, but I over-analyse my thoughts. I think about every little thing, I think about thinking, I have this deep understanding of my thoughts and behaviours and it makes me frustrated that I'm still not okay. I don't know how to switch off or be in the moment, because I just have this constant internal conversation

dodie, when are you gonna do a 'no time to die' cover? we all know you love that song, we N E E D it ♥

Dodie: dont take it out, it all works
Honey they wouldn't be taking it out if it was working fine!

oh my god this explanation of internal monologue makes the most sense and i think i've finally established that i do not have one

I love listening to dodie ramble

GET THE SURGERY!!! Trust me, it will be the best decision you could possibly make for yourself. As a 26 year old who has had many surgeries throughout my life due to a degenerative disease, including my gallbladder being removed at age 13, it was by FAR my “easiest” surgery, and it brought instant relief. Gallbladder attacks are excruciatingly painful as you well know, and the longer you wait, the worse and more frequent the attacks will become. And trust me, that’s the last thing you want, as I know from experience. Not to mention, by putting off surgery you’re also running the risk of your gallbladder getting so bad that it turns into an emergent situation that requires mandatory emergency surgery. A planned surgery will always be so much better than an emergency surgery you have zero control over. Keyhole surgery may sound or look intimidating, but it’s truly the best possible method of surgery you could have, being the least invasive and with the best recovery. I don’t know how the NHS does things, but in the US the surgery is usually outpatient, meaning you go home the same day and you don’t have to stay overnight in the hospital. At maximum, you would only be staying in the hospital for one night depending on NHS policy. Of course surgery is never fun, and you will experience some pain and discomfort, but it is usually well managed with pain medication and many people claim to feel little to no pain after surgery while on pain medication. Within a week, you should be feeling almost back to your usual self with little recovery pain/discomfort left, and within a month you should feel as good as new! The surgery somehow causing you more lasting pain afterwards is not at all a common occurrence, if ever. What the surgery WILL do, however, is instantly resolve gallbladder attacks and gallbladder pain altogether, and you will never have to experience that excruciating pain ever again!

I honestly can’t say this enough, that having this surgery will be the BEST decision you could possibly make in this situation! I know it can be scary having surgery for the first time, I totally get it, but please don’t let that stop you from getting the relief you deserve. Gallbladder removal is one of the most common surgeries that a general surgeon performs. They know exactly what they are doing, and so does the anesthesiologist and surgical nurses. Remember, this may be a new experience for you, but this is just a normal work day for them, one they are highly trained for. Complications involving any aspected of keyhole gallbladder surgery are extremely rare and aren’t even worth worrying about. I know you’ll do just fine. If you’re really worried about the anesthesia part, just know that they have ways of monitoring you during surgery to ensure that you are in fact remaining asleep, so hopefully that puts your mind at ease. Additionally, they don’t just leave all of that air they fill your abdomen with inside of you after surgery. When they finish the surgery, they remove as much of that air as possible, and the small residual amount of air left behind is absorbed by your body within a few days (the human body is a wondrous thing!). For most people, the temporarily uncomfortable feeling of residual air is the “worst” part of surgery, but in the big picture it’s quite minimal, especially compared to gallbladder attacks, which you are already a pro at! In my opinion and based on my experience, gallbladder attacks are FAR more painful than keyhole surgery could ever be! If you can go through these gallbladder attacks, I promise that you are MORE than capable of tolerating surgery spectacularly without complication!

And as for your diet following surgery, it’s really not likely that it will make a drastic difference in what you can eat. Some people may experience a little indigestion with certain foods after surgery, but many people (myself included) experience zero digestive changes and can eat the same foods we always have. Eating smaller quantities of certain foods for a limited time directly following surgery can help your body learn to adjust, but after awhile your body will learn to balance itself out and you’ll be able to return back to eating normally. It’s truly not as big of a diet shift as you are anticipating.

I could honestly continue typing more information about it, but overall I think this addressed some of your main concerns and worries. If you have any additional questions feel free to ask and I will gladly answer! I just know that you won’t regret having this surgery and that it will be the most ideal situation for you in the long run! Don’t put yourself through anymore unnecessary painful gallbladder attacks. You’ve got this, and I don’t doubt that you’ll do great! 😊 Love and prayers to you! 💕🙏🏻

As someone who thinks in the "running monologue" as you described it, I still have trouble translating my thoughts into words. Like, I always sound very coherent and articulate in my head and then when I try to speak out loud it's just a mess and idk why???

when i was 17, on a regular ultrasound to check if my ovaries were doing fine, the doctor found that my kidney has been pushed down because of a giant tumour that had been growing from my adrenal gland. it was huge, pushing on my liver and all the other surrounding organs, almost hidden under my ribs.
i was terrified, and told that i could loose and kidney or part of my liver, told that i could even die because it was against some important veins in my body. since they didn't know anything about the tumour, they had to take it all out at once before my organs burst.

they basically split me open, took it all out in one go, and left me scarred forever.

i am so glad that they saved my life, but the impact that it had on me is never gonna go away... our conditions may be very different, but i empathise with your pain and wish that everything will turn out okay and that you will do what's best for your health...

Ok so on the topic of internal monologues, I definitely have one. I have full on conversations with myself (and others) in my head. BUT I also have the more abstract thoughts as well. I often just have those feelings that don't come with worded thoughts, and sometimes just see things in my head without any translation of what's going on. Sometimes I switch between the two and sometimes I have them both at the same time. Like the running monologue overlapping the abstract thoughts. Anybody else?

So I'm one of those people who can't picture things in their head. Instead when I picture objects like an apple I "feel" it, essentially like if I were holding it. I also do have just a running monologue in my head at all times, and as much as you'd think it makes me better at speaking and expressing my thoughts it really doesn't. There's still a disconnect between thoughts and actions, that mostly comes from thinking faster than I can talk and my ADHD.

A lot of people who got their gallbladder removed lived perfectly normal lives so I would like to know does that apply to you so others who might need to go through this can know how easy it is to live without the gallbladder

I love your short stories ideas they are awesome

Did I miss a video on what was the result of this?

And I must say that she looks absolutely beautiful

Hey doodle,

Adenomyomatosis is considered a begning tumor of the gallblader (which is fine), but some sources consider that it might turn into a malignant one (we call it pre-malign because of that). And the scans are not that accurate on determining if all of the tumor is only adenomyomatosis or if there is already malignant parts. I think you should do the surgery. :)

The part about thinking, Wow. You explained it pretty well...this is kinda unrelated but,I can have a whole conversation and explanation in my head, but when I want to write the same thing...my mind's like 'no<3 there are other things in your head now:D'

Also, some people can't hear their thoughts?! O-ok, i-, what...I am soo confused O_o

I kinda have a running monologue going around in my brain. But its more like I just talk to myself a lot. And most of the time it's about whatever is stressing me out at the moment, or all of the various things I have to do... Sometimes my mind is super chaotic, others it's fixated/stuck on one thought, others still it's completely empty

You're skin is shining! looking great

Inner monologue thinker here. You're right about the ease of translation of thoughts/feelings into language. I have been a good communicator since childhood. A past friend of mine always struggled to communicate her inner world in English, and described it one time as being similar to yours. It's a delightful gift to experience being as you do, though it certainly makes communicating in English difficult. I remember that my friend and I understood each other better when I moved from my head to my heart and tuned into the meanings in her body language and speech (register, prosody, pace, pitch, volume). I always appreciated that about the time we spent together. She had a way of pulling me back into my body, into the present, into the wealth of meaning that's below the surface, the vivid communications that are always broadcasting but seldom listened to. I sometimes manage to settle into that way of being again, and it's a joy to hold that space and invite others into it. Had a lovely conversation with my mom that way just this past month.

I had major surgery on my spine 2 years ago, I have scoliosis. I was so worried but I did it. I started getting out of bed in about 4 days. It was definitely worth it. My back is better and it doesn’t hurt to stand anymore. I was in constant pain in recovery and couldn’t even sit up. Which wasn’t ideal when your throwing up in a bowl and you get sick all down your top. Do it if you think it would make your life easier. Trust me.
Yes I am late.

There's air all the time in your body (and not only in your lungs). Body isn't as full as we think, other wise we would be able to stand underwater pressure.

Dodie, when it comes to surgery, it’s gotta be wholly your decision. Look after yourself love, make your best choices.

Mate, I went to A & E and the pain had gone after 4 hours of being in the waiting room so they couldn’t tell me what was wrong lmao

this style of video really reminds me of Stevie and I love it SO much

as a running monologue person...the amount of times my mouth has almost said what my head was saying in a full sentence which would have led to the WORST situations is numerous

I read a post about turning 25 and how you’d be grouped into the “overs” category on the xfactor and I used to think they were so. old. And it made me feel like a grandma 👵🏼

3:31 when she sings “so much” I’m automatically like YES YES PLEASE RELEASE ANOTHER SECRET SONG IN YOUR VIDEOS

Dodie’s glasses all lit up makes her look like a sassy anime character

dodie: if im thirsty it just goes "mwapapa pa taking a glass out gesture gllglglgl"
me: EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING THANK YOU!!!

I hope you get better :<

I had to get my gallbladder removed when I was 17. If you don't get it removed it can rupture during a gallbladder attack and be a bigger problem. It's your body and it's your choice but I can say from personal experience that it's better to get it removed.

They wanted to do the same thing to my dad but he said no! It was also a different thing with his gallbladder but maybe see if any holistic or ancient medicine can help you (it helped him, but of course he was very moderate with the lemon and olive oil shots)

dodie i was thinking about something that might help to prevent pain

its an idea i got from the gaming valley (filmcow) and i think it might help you so you are in less mental and physical pain

jason (filmcow) said that in the case he ever needed surgery he would do a 24 hour live show before it (being chemically put to sleep scares him and he has enough trouble sleeping from his anxiety)

maybe getting your gallbladder removed and doing a 24 hour live show will help you deal with it so you can stay up with people might be able to help keep you calm (it doesnt need to be the full 24 hours you can always sleep and cover up the webcam or completely shut everything down and know it is there in case you have trouble sleeping)

it is something to consider my way of thinking is that the physical pain might make you dissociate or cause more problems for you and i thought that the surgery was causing you stress and cause mental health issues why not find a way to keep both as calm as possible

i think this might help make it so you feel like you arent dealing with this alone as well

Watching this in December 2020 when she said she needs big change .......be careful what you wish for ......😬

I have an internal monologue but then I also have thoughts like the ones you describe in this video

people think differently.. some "hear' a voice as they think, some see things they think about (including words), some maybe just feel thoughts? my brain goes way way to fast most of the time, i can somewhat hear different conversations and thoughts i'm thinking of, and also see other thoughts.. usually there is at least 10 different things going on in there.
as for writing things down as i think them, not at all possible, my brain goes about 900 times faster then i can talk, or about 9000 times faster then i could possibly write, which does unfortunately leave me to sometimes start writing one thing and ending with another thought. but it my mind i'm thinking i wrote two different things, when i actually wrote half of one thought and half of another. (which is why i generally read back what i read at least once before i post / send it)
so don't worry if you think different then other people, everyone is different, and that is a good thing.

Hi Dodie. Hope all is well. I was introduced to you via "When" and your experience with DPDR. Just curious if you still experience it and how your recovery has been for the past few years since you talked about it (maybe it can be in your response to your Dear 25 year old me). I was trying to find a way to contact you directly but this is the only thing I found. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you. -Ehab

I am!!! 18!!!! At college for the first time!!!! And the idea that I could be OKAY with change and WANT it and not want to GO BACK all the time???? Cannot imagine that. Would like to hear more, please. Perhaps I won't be having existential crises every night

I had my gallbladder removed March 2020, after 3 years of having gallstones (didn’t know for the first year because doctors are so dismissiiiive in the US). I regret not removing it sooner because holy biscuits that is LITERALLY the worst pain. Like so severe that only hydrocodone could touch it, so severe that it would cause me to physically shake. 10/10 would not recommend gallbladder problems😅 BUT 10/10 would recommend having it removed if it is giving you as much trouble as Dodie and I 👏🏼

I have a running monologue but it's still so difficult to turn my brain sentences into sentences I can speak to people. Also feelings aren't as simple as "I feel thirsty" but there's usually a thought acknowledging the feeling most of the time? I didn't realize people didn't have sentences in their head???

As someone with a word-mind, I had the same realization that you had in reverse! When I read books or heard people say that they pictured something (like your apple!) in their minds, I thought it was poetic or something rather than literal. I don't see any pictures in my mind - if you asked me to picture an apple, I could perfectly describe to you what the apple looks like with words, but I don't actually SEE it. I just kind of know what it's supposed to look like?
I do also have the random other parts of the brain playing songs or having memories or feelings while my brain is monologuing, it's just that at any point if my attention was called to one of those other things, I could immediately understand that thing in a verbal way. I don't have that extra translation step, but I've always been jealous of people like you that can close their eyes and see pictures!

dude my inner monologue is insane. it’s just full sentences at all times and it’s just constantly GOIN

i’ve had keyhole surgery! i felt the gas like,, in my body? the few days after my surgery i felt like little bubbles especially in my shoulders and chest which were kinda sore but not as sore as the reason i had surgery! (appendicitis)

It sounds like she's singing at some points while talking again. I think she's going to be introducing a new song or ep soon!! If she is I can't wait!

But then again, that may just be how she talks XD.

wow i missed your videos so much please make more thank you

2:39 tell me why i thought u had actually named your lump

I've been having a similar pain but further down and I'm yet to get and ultrasound to find out what it is. My bloods are all normal

i have a constant running monologue in my head but at the same time i have pictures and vivid noises and physical and emotional feelings. earlier today i was having separation anxiety from my parrot and i could physically feel me touching his feathers and the little pin feathers coming through. at the same time i was picturing this abstract painting i saw earlier and how I’d re-create it in a different medium for a project and my inner monologue was describing it. at the same same time i could hear a song stuck in my head and could picture how it sounded and associate colors with each note. my mind is an ever running wheel and it doesn’t SHUT UP

THE STRINGS SOUND SO GOOD DODIE...

hi Dodie
just know that, even if the internet is a fricking spooky place, you are bringing in so much joy that you make it all worth it.
All those videos where you express yourself are extremely helpful and believe it or not, I, for one, actually care about you and hope oh so dearly that you will be happy-or already are idk- because darn you deserve it. Your tunes have saved me from many dark thoughts and helped in a hard time. Girl, if the internet kills, it also saves!
about your health issues, it's all up to you, we believe in you <3!!
I am excited to see your answer to your future self, keep up the good works, because you are great -and never forget that it is okay to feel weak and to be weak... it is alright to feel down!
much love, you are not alone

I had keyhole surgery recently and you really don't have to be scared. I was so anxious, i pooped 5 times before the surgery and when I woke up I felt so FINE, it almost creeped me out. I was like WHY DO I FEEL OK?
I'm not saying you should get it btw, it's your body, so don't let anyone tell you what or what not to do ❤️

wait you don’t have an inner monologue??? omg

also it’s great to see you back here i’ve missed your ramblings :)

I thought it was funny when she said it must be so convenient for ppl with internal monologues to share their feelings bc that’s exactly why i do it. For small actions like thirst and different activities i don’t have to think out my thoughts. I just kinda... do. But for anything that’s not basic action I think like i’m speaking to someone else. That way I can decide whether my thoughts make sense to another person. I understand myself, but the extra layer of “talking it out” helps me sort it all out. like I’d think “I’m so sad and I think it’s because of this..” or “I saw this dog today that you would love”. Like most things i wanna day or wish i could say has already been “said” once in my head. Is this what all internal monologue ppl feel like? Do your thoughts talk to other ppl of your choosing or do y’all just talk to yourself?

you said a lot of important and interesting things in this video but my brain is just YOU LOOK SO PRETTY HAIR AND MAKEUP IS GSGHSGSGSHGSH

It's so good to see you back. Once again, you're incredibly Human and relatable. You do sound like a friend or big sister that would make you aware of all kind of troubles, but always in a benevolent and empathetic way.You are a lovely person. You make me feel better and defuse what needs to be, you calm me down. Listening to you is a pleasure and a good way to start my day. Always trust things will get better. And always continue sharing you art, not only the music in itself is good but what you express in your lyrics is a medication against the blues and every low point.
And oh my, I remember your 22 yo video, and that's already so long ago ?? Have a nice one anyway ❤

Okay, I had keyhole surgery when I was 13, and I knew they blew up my stomach a bit but I didn't know they blew it up THAT BIG WTF. But in terms of where does the air go, sometimes there's a little left over inside and it just kinda...ends up causing mild discomfort in your shoulders for a couple of days? I think? I think that's what happened to me. It somehow dissipated after a few days though. It's all kinda blurry, it was ten years ago. But I hope , whatever happens with your appointment, that you end up with the best choice for you and your body!

Hey Dodie, I did some online research on the thinking process (because you made me curious), and I found an article about it.

“In his years of studying the inner workings of people’s minds, Hurlburt has come up with five categories of inner experiences: inner speaking, which comes in a variety of forms; inner seeing, which could feature images of things you’ve seen in real life or imaginary visuals; feelings, such as anger or happiness; sensory awareness, like being aware of the scratchiness of the carpet under your feet; and unsymbolised thinking, a trickier concept to get your head around, but essentially a thought that doesn’t manifest as words or images, but is undoubtedly present in your mind.”

You know, I am a ‘written thinker’ most of the time, but, depending on my mental state (human, mammal or reptile consiousness...long story), I tend to go more visual or emotional in my thinking patterns. I think it’s normal to not think in written/spoken format, because, when people are asked how they think, they’re gonna say ‘spoken’ or ‘written’ because that’s probably the only thing we can describe as a process. It’s otherwise trying to describe the taste of water. It’s water, and there’s no description for the taste of water, so we say ‘it tastes like nothing’ because we are either taught that way, or because we simply don’t have the wordst to describe it.

Anyway, here’s the article: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190819-what-your-inner-voice-says-about-you

I hope you read this, and that it might help you a bit (because it helped me a bit too!)

Lots of love!

Oooooof, really glad they found what was causing your pain!

Everything in my mind is words and it’s so frustrating sometimes. Like yeah, it’s a lot easier to analyze myself because I can hear everything ya know, but my anxiety is so much worse because of it. It’s like I have a song playing all the time (ADHD) and my feelings I can’t put into words accurately, and when I think of conversations I’ve had with people it’s like I can hear their voice in my head and it’s so bad for my anxiety. It’s honestly cool in some ways because I I can think in equations too, so if I want to visualize something I do the math for the object in my head and it’s like from blueprints to 3D diagrams.

yay! i’m so happy you’ve finally found what has been causing your pain, also i just wanted to say that i love going through your videos because your voice just absolutely calms me down

Your thoughts about inner monologues is exactly the same as what I thought when I found out about it shdnjsnsjj

Okay wait this just confused me bc when I first heard that thing about internal monologues I was like that's weird but I definitely have one but then hearing you describe the way your thoughts are is like wait I have that too so like my thoughts sometimes jump around like that and I have non-word thoughts but I also have a running monologue in my head and I didn't realize that I had both until right now

I have problems with my gallbladder too and it feels like you’re being stabbed for hours on end. Genuinely think if I have children one day it will be less painful

Hi! My mom and two best friends have had their gallbladders out. Super not a big deal! And you do fart the air out. They pump air into you for most laparoscopic procedures, it's an alternative to slicing you all the way open. (I had a laparoscopy to remove endometriosis growths from my intestines/bowels and it's similar in terms of recovery etc) It's okay to be scared though!

Dodie: doesn't post for months, makes a video basically saying
'So yeah like cats and gallbladders''

Also Dodie: I feel pain.

Seriously though, I can imagine how scary this is to think about. You are very brave to share this kind of thing, and I really hope the best for you, and I hope you the best of luck. I love you so much 💕💕💕.

I made another comment, but I just want to add that no, having an inner monologue doesn’t make it easier to talk. So much is running through my head that there is absolutely no way to get it all out so I have to have a moment of carefully picking and choosing what thought I’ll tell and what bits and pieces I’ll keep to myself

ugH i completely relate on the whole thought thing, like it blew my mind that poeple have a running monologue in their heads, whereas i have like abstract thoughts

heckin wild

I have an internal monologue and can’t fathom thinking in not- words xD like I have images in my head too but unless it is intrusive I have to consciously recall the images. I’ve always had a thought about what if you never learn a language or are a baby, and how you could possibly think without language, but it turns out that a lot of people don’t think in words and sentences, and that blew my mind.

I can’t wait to hear the new music!

The idea of writing everything you’re thinking as a monologue of sorts is actually a writing style! It’s known as The Stream of Consciousness and was drawing on Freud’s theories on the human mind, primarily the Ego which was thought to be the ONLY conscious part in your mind. Stream of Consciousness was meant to represent the random way your mind floats from one thing to another, like you talked about. There are books written in this style, most notably Ulysses by James Joyce.

Watching her talking about her life just makes my heart hurt and make me feel i am so much more lucky than many people who are suffering out there. I just want to tell u, dodie, i love u and i want u to be happy and i respect every decision u make. Just stay happy and healthy and i will be happy and healthy.

omg i have heard so many people talking about different ways of thinking. i have this constant internal monologue. in theory that would make it easier for us to speak about our feelings but for me personally, i find it really hard to pinpoint a feeling because it's constantly running, does that make sense?! it's not exactly ordered but i think in sentences. wtf our brains are weird, ewwwwww

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I personally have had my gallbladder out at 16, because of gallstones. I’m 20 now and I’m glad I did. It was causing me a lot of pain and the side effect are nothing compared to the pain. Sure my tummy gets upset when I eat greasy foods but you’ve just gotta pay attention to what you eat/ the pain from the greasy foods now it’s nothing compared to the pain my gallbladder was causing.

I have a running monologue in my head 😄 but that doesn't mean it's not messy, the music and the weird feelings are also there. Someone can relate ..?

Hey I feel you completely on the op I need my gallbladder out too, I don’t have the option not to have it as I have gallstones but I’m terrified! They’re hoping to do keyhole but due to some other complications I may have to have it open surgery instead. 😖 but it might come to some comfort for you I know 4 people who have had theirs out 3 being family and it’s all been okay and they get no issues now at all no more horrific pains (yay!) - take care!

I was just typing out about how I DO have a running monologue and then you started talking about it! But it doesn’t make talking or writing easy at all. The running monologue repeats sentences over and over slightly changing a word each time (which I find frustrating cause it’s like YES Emma you already had that thought why are you thinking it again) and it actually makes speaking out loud nerve wracking in case I pick the wrong version!

I had my gallbladder out a few months ago and I'm 25!!!! I feel so much better now. Seriously I do not regret having it out whatsoever. I don't have any trouble with foods (I did before I got it out though) my doc just said don't eat a hamburger, fries, and a milkshake all at once or it might upset me.

Before I got my gallbladder out eating food with less fat helped me to should the pain. The diet was very boring though so I kept slipping up and being in pain again.

You get some gas in your shoulders and it hurts a bit but it's not so bad. Lasts about 2 days but if you walk around it gets better.

Sorry if you're scared right now. I hope you can feel a bit better with time. Whatever you decide I hope you are okay!

this video feels like catching up with your sister after a while of not seeing her

I had my gallbladder removed a year ago because of I had gall stones and the pain it caused was the most horrible thing I've ever felt. The nurses told me it's one of the worst pain that exist and it's worse than going through labor. I'm now missing an organ and the first few months weren't great digestive wise but it got better and it was never painful. The horrible pain will never come back and that's worth anything. The surgery is quick, I had the keyhole one you looked up and the worst thing about it was the gas being painful for a few days, it took a few weeks to feel completly normal and now a year later the scars are fading white. Do the surgery, you'll be grateful.

dodes it is so fine to have inside cats!! we kept our cats inside until they were two years old to train them to stay close to the house, and now they only go out in our garden on weekends. get lots of little kitty toys to keep her happy and entertained!!! u can take her out for little walks on a leash even!! plus having outdoor cats is pretty bad for wildlife, esp in australia. and they’re safe from cars and ticks and stuff. anyway dodie I want u to get a cat so bad 🥺🥺 love u

Oh dear, I've had pain like that a couple of times... I really hope it's not a lump too. I did change my diet too and it has helped a lot though...

u make me so calm <3 i love u

I feel like she’s different... but in a happier way

nobody:

literally nobody:

lesbians when someone talks about how they just got someone's number: 6:55

I have an internal dialogue. I never thought it could be different for other people. :D Yeah, I´m good at talking, but I´m also always being "talked at" by my mind and it´s not always high quality stuff. So imagine that you have somebody CONSTANTLY talk to you. About cat food and the color of your t-shirt and how sad the Joker movie was and that we are all a product of our surroundings and that suicide for some people seems like the only exit strategy from a very troublesome life and that they just discovered a new cat species in the south american jungle and that you haven´t made any art within 3 months even tho you should and that you wonder what your life would be like if you hadn´t had been bullied for years and how all of this inner monologue is useless if somebody verbally attacks you, because that is the only situation where your mind actually goes blank. Focusing with that happening every waking hour is hard.

I had my gallbladder taken out. Post op wasn’t too fun but I don’t have daily pain now. The gas you’re talking about gets dispersed and you kind of end up farting and burping it out. It’ll move up and you’ll get some shoulder pain but you have to keep moving and working it out.

Overall, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I had to change my diet but I ended up eating a lot healthier. No fast food, not tons of red meat, etc.

I have a monologue, and sometimes I speak it out loud and then I realise and i'm like what am I doing? then I stop like I just caught myself talking to myself, then the internal voice continues.

Greatest video on the internet since “pasta is good life is SAD” 😆😆

You need to do audiobooks 🌼

My mom got her gallbladder removed and she's doing totally fine and hadn't changed her diet and never has pain since.i think getting it removed is worth it.i also get how scary how getting put under is I have had multiple surgeries and have had to get put under for all of them I suggest get a stuff animal and have friends for support and as for how it feels it just feels like you're going to sleep I wish you the best hope things get better ❤️

dodie when you said there was new music coming soon my heart stopped

If it was anything like my keyhole surgery you will feel so much relief when it’s removed!! It’s very simple procedure and you will spend a week burping up the air 😬

"I was a mess. I still am a mess."
Same Dodie. Same.
Still love you though🥰

i think it's strange that in the UK they require a garden/yard for cats. in the US (at least in big cities) you're encouraged to keep them inside.

FINALLY SOMEONE WHO LOVES TWILIGHT IM CRYINGGGGGG ITS SO GOOOOODDDD also i had surgery recently and the going to sleep thing is soooo freaky i’m glad i don’t remember the count down lol

I think in full sentences, but sometimes I like to speak what I'm thinking because it makes it easier to follow
And sometimes I only think of a "concept", and I have to consult my internal dictionary to see what word fits to express that concept.

your voice is so damn calming gah

"how does your brain know what is real and what isnt?.. well i mean, mine doesn't" RELATABLE.

dude rest assured nobody knows everything 100%. You held merit when you explained those things when you were 21 like you do now. These are your experiences!! PS Your thoughts age like fine wine.
Also, I've been feeling the same lately, about change. I miss my friends with the all the social-distancing but I high-key needed this isolation from school and friends just so I can stop distracting myself and actually learn how to cope with lack of motivation/passion, and just basically live out how I'm gonna be happy on my own (It's going good). Keep being honest dodiee its so fuckin inspiring ily

Do it. I had keyhole surgery in December to remove my gallbladder. I had pain in my ribs and back. The pain is not bad. The air they put in you goes into your shoulders, it didn’t hurt much for me, just aching.

I literally thought “wait do I think in sentences” and then I realized that I did just that

3:34 DODIE IS THAT SPECIAL GIRL

Hi Dodie,
I had a gallbladder infection for over a year that was so debilitating that towards the end (spoiler: I got the surgery) I would just lay still because if anything moved the pain would go back to 10 (instead of a resting 6).
Sometimes when I get a bit of a stomachache now my brain goes, "oh no it's going to happen again" and then I remember that I don't have to feel that pain anymore and it's really comforting.
I'm telling you because the idea of missing a part of my body was very stressful for me, but I'm glad I got it done. I hope you come to the decision that's right for you without going through too much grief!

Yes it might be easier but I can't understand my feelings. I have a hard time identifying how I feel.

i cant imagine not having a running dialogue in my head lol

i was here when you put up the “dear 25 year old me” video and now i’m 20 WOWWWW life moves fast

Ok so here’s the thing. I definitely have an inner monologue. But my inner monologue is like 8 different people talking all at once. Then there’s music in a background, maybe a couple arguing and a child throwing a tantrum. Not literally obiviously, but that’s the general vibe. Like in those tv shows where the character can hear thoughts, and the show makes the person overwhelmed with all the thoughts, that just my brain always, the only difference being all the people are me

I understand the fear of diet change. I found out I have a gluten allergy a few weeks ago, it's difficult because eating out is hard. I'm also vegetarian and lactose intolerant. I still eat dairy even though it hurts my body. I feel like I can't eat the things I enjoy, I feel so restricted. I'm sure it will be better in the long run, but I do know that it's hard to stay consistent when you want to eat things you like.

really feel u on what u said about the internet :( it’s getting worse and worse and it makes me want to distance myself so badly and yet i keep coming back

the verbalized thoughts thing IS SO FUCKIN WILD and I've had that exact thought about how speaking must be so easy because there is no translation. If you have sentences in your head, do you just never have the experience of not knowing how to say something??

my thoughts are full on sentences and i have simultaneously been listening to two songs inside my head, just because.

IVE MISSED THIS
lovely video ♥

There's a book by James Joyce called "Ulysses" that plays with the idea of what our interiour monolgues look like. Everything' s comprised of images ,sounds, short sentences intermingled with each other. It's pretty difficult to read but I strongly recommend it.

Damn.... your voice is just so soothing.... please can you just talk to me while I fall asleep 😫

I haven't had my gallbladder since since 2017, and even though theres some tummy pain still its SO MUCH BETTER THAN B4 I was in constant tummy and back pain for like a year before it.

Also I stan a twilight stan 😍

Also also ive never heard an explanation of how my brain exists on a reg basis that's so perfect.

Good luck getting a cat! I have a few cats, but they don’t need a garden, they’re livin great lives with toys, indoor space to run around, and such. I hope it’ll work out for u :)

when i had appendicitis and got it removed, i had to get pumped with air like that so they could actually get around in there. it made me really bloated, and i couldn't really push to burp or fart bc of the incisions lol. so it escaped by moving through my skin?? it hurt my neck and back a lot and they said it was the gas escaping. i wish you the most luck in the world for your surgery love xxxx

My thoughts are like. A combination of images and moods while also simultaneously me reasoning with myself (A LOT A LOT). I feel like it just depends on the stimulus. BUT FR DODIE U REALLY GOT ME HERE THINKING ABOUT HOW REAL APPLES LOOK IN MY HEAD AHAHA

I have that “running monologue” that she’s talking about, I think, but I think there’s something that people distinctly don’t understand. Quite frequently, the words in my head are basically useless. If I’m stressed, my brain usually isn’t giving me a detailed or helpful description of what’s up. A lot of the time, it’s much closer to this,
Brain: I feel bad. I feel very bad. This feels bad. I am having a bad feeling.
Me: What is the problem? Why do I feel bad?
My brain: I feel very bad!

The hand gesture and general facial expression of "this is the big worry" is a whole damn mood.

Oh my god- so I found out about the inner monologue too. I have anxiety and everything I do, my mind is narrating. Even if It's not "I'm thirsty I'm going to get a drink" its "I'm thirsty. God I gotta go downstairs and get water. Ugh but it's so faaaaar," and so on. But I SUCK, absolutely suck at speaking. I have to rehearse my speech all the time. Phone calls frickin scare me. I prefer writing novels, because I have time to think about dialogue and I can GO BACK AND CHANGE IT- and I can't in real life. So I rehearse words in my mind before I speak and it still sucks.

my dad recently had is gall bladder removed during emergency surgery since it got infected, it takes a while to recover but imp sure keyhole surgery will ensure a quicker recovery, however u can't eat a lot of stuff afterwards for a while eg spicy, fatty foods. But if it stops the pain forever I say go for it!!

Im one of those people who have like an actual string of sentences in my thoughts. For me, its kind of an in between. Like Ill still have those moments when i want something, ill just instinctively go get it. But honestly, most of the time im all "man, im hungry. Theres not much to eat here, i guess ill make do with a smoothie bowl and cereal" I think, because i do that, i have more time to think through my thoughts, have an idea of the emotions im feeling, and analyze why I am feeling a certain way or why I am not feeling a certain way. Granted, i am also a dumb bitch sometimes and I act without having a bit of a convo to myself about why im gonna do what im gonna do and if it'll have any consequences that i really dont like. Its kind of like having a narator in your head you just agree with all the time.

The concept of thinking patterns truly baffles me. Hearing you talk about it made it feel less crazy cause I think about it a lot (ironic lol). I really felt the whole “you just can’t describe it” thing. I have real bad ADHD tho and am medicated for it so I observe my internal monologue quite often to know when meds are in effect. Does everyone observe them tho? Glad to hear I’m not alone 😂

wow actress dodie coming through with the re-enactment

but also i hope you get better

I'm so ready to hear your orchestra music that will be so beautiful

Dodie love, breathe, hope you get pain free either with your digestive bladder of gall or without my sweet spoonie, don't take any advice from the internet, especially regarding cats on the internet, and go out with me instead of covid after the social distancing is over, my crazy fancies yours hopefully yours fancies mine too ^_^

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE INNER MONOLOGUE THING THESE PAST FEW DAYS TOO ! I had this same realization !!!!! Its so crazy that the human brain functions in so many different ways a h

10/10 recommend gallbladder removal. it hurts less that gallbladder pain.

i think in sentences. i can also spin objects around in my mind in 3d.

My mom also needs a gallbladder surgery and she's been putting it off for two months pls dont be like my mom dodie

Wait other people don’t have an inner monologue where they hear words in their own voice in their head? I always assumed this is how everyone else processes thoughts....

I feel like it's crazy that they require a garden? Going outside is pretty dangerous for cats and the wildlife around them and basically all veterinarians reccomend keeping them indoors. As long as you provide your cat with enrichment and love, they'll be perfectly fine and healthy indoors!

I literally got my gallbladder out about a month ago. The air trapped is burped out a lot you have to walk around. It’s painful and the recovery can range from quick to a month later still hurting. Food is hard but it gets better. I am much happier bc I was going through the exact same thing and getting sick once a month that would get worse and go away. It was infuriating. Hope you feel better!

I had the chance to see most of both keyhole surgery and open surgery. It's amazing what you can do from those tiny holes! There are ways to cut off whole parts of the small intestine that are sick and then remove them from a tiny hole in the person's crotch, and then stitch the two parts of the intestine back! All without cutting the person open!

And yeah, the inflation with CO2 is pretty weird, but the animations exaggerate it. They only do enough to see their way around the abdomen through the camera hole (which is also where the gas comes from). They also don't want to put too much CO2 in because a some of it is absorbed by the abdominal wall.

There's also endoscopic surgery for a few things. There are ways to go into the mouth all the way to the stomach, then through the stomach wall to reach the abdominal cavity, and it's SO COOL! They basically cut hole and put an expanding wire tube to make a window so that they can see the pancreas or other stuff that's nearby.

Medicine is so cool

I love listening to her chat about life !!

I 💖Your glasses look great with face shape.
I hope you feel better soon🌞😍🙋🙆🌞🐞🌺🌈

have you tried digestive enzymes?? IT helps me so much if I can't digest food properly

I had to get my gallbladder removed. It's actually so much better now.

my thoughts do the same thing as you, they're like a choppy blend of feelings and some words and confusion

Dodie i love you so much !!! There was a video of you making pasta drunk, i can't find it any more 😱😭 it is one of my favourites especially that i am now going through the same thing you did in the video😣

Lol i wish it was that easy to talk. For someone with a non-stop internal monologue, i sure can't socialise for shit😂 i'll literally have full blown conversations w myself in my head but when it comes to other humans, nah lol

I actually have been dealing with extremely similar situation god I should see a doctor

my thoughts are a string of coherent sentences but i have a very hard time visualizing things which is hard when you want to be a writer because you just can't visualize ANY part of the story to save your life

Your videos are really entertaining

I have one of those inner monologues of thinking, though that's not to say I don't have images and memories popping in as well, just my main method of thought is through language. That being said, I'm a writer so I might have cultivated it by using writing to think (since it slows me down and focuses me). Who knows? haha

Honestly having an inner monologue isn’t super great. Like you said that one can analyze it, which is true, but I usually go too far and start thinking about my thoughts instead of actually thinking them. I feel like my brain has a weird way of thinking where a thought starts in the back of my mind as a vague concept of a sentence and then my conscious mind will either pick it up and actively THINK it (at which point it enters my inner monologue) or just ignore it and it dissolves back into my brain. Then I start to analyze and think ABOUT the thought, which can honestly just get exhausting. It’s like a constant Socratic dialogue in my head of thinking a thing and then asking myself about it. When I’m anxious or stressed about smth it gets x10 worse.

I haven’t finished watching but I had the SAME thing happen to me... take some tums. It’s just you gallbladders freaking out. You have a crappy gallbladder!

This is my favourite video of yours i love it, its mad

Running monologue definitely doesn’t mean it’s coherent lmao but I feel like I do both?? If someone says “apple” I think of a ripe, red apple. So there’s obviously a sense of images there, too, and like you mentioned, there are some instances where you think in words! I think we all have a mix, but like, one is more dominant than the other?

Also, nice to see you back!

i hope the comment section has been nice:((( my thoughts are the exact same as yours. legit my mind is everywhere 24/7. like ill be thinking about my cat and my favorite movie and a video i watched recently and that book i was meaning to read why havent i read that book yet omg and ahh i miss my friends and did i water my plants oh hey what about this idea for a story where this happens what would be the best way to put it and oh yeah these lyrics would go great with this tune youve been thinking off but also dont forget you have too many blankets and-
i think you might know what i mean. anyways do what's best for you love! im glad you are making videos again. i hope that this can be a good and fun outlet again for you<3 okay this is too long of a comment byeeeee love you you bright and beautiful rainbow<3333

I’ve had keyhole surgery and weirdly the air basically just dissipates through your body. It mostly goes upwards into your neck and shoulders. That was the most challenging part of recovery for me. My shoulders and neck were super sore. But it only lasted a few days and with a heating pad calmed down a lot! Hopefully that makes you feel a little better or at least understand what you might feel.

I swear every time Dodie uploads, I get so so happy. <3

i truly enjoy those plants in the back 🌱

i had my gallbladder out over a year ago. it was full of gallstones though. it got to the point that i could only eat crackers, quesadillas, and drink sprite. today i can eat a bigger variety of foods, but i still need sprite and crackers to help it. i still get excruciating pains where my gallbladder used to be. i still need to take meds everyday. but my body is healthier than it was. i cant eat the things that i could before and it sucks when people dont understand that a food makes me sick. so i guess im trying to say it will suck. it will hurt. but it will be okay and you learn to work with it.

i love ur plants so much omg I WANT MORE PLANTS

I missed you so much, pls pls make more vids <333333

ohgod, dodie ur so frickin fantastic, wow ur so pretty and these plants are aesthetic asf and ur mind is beautiful ur voice and the way u act and talk and omg ur just fucking perfect,( i mayyyhave a lil crush on u ), ur awesome and perfect eeeeeeeek <3

ok so my mom had this same surgery so im gonna warn you, youre probably gonna suffer from acid reflex and vomiting without your gallbladder when you eat greasy foods. HOWEVER this is just what happened with my mom and idk if its with everyone!

My friends had their gallbladder out all in the same year. He said the gas made his shoulder hurt, so there's that. haha.

I was basically in the same boat. I had a low functioning gallbladder. It's fine now though. I mean I was in pain for like a year... Yeah...
I was in pain for a year trying to decide if I should get the surgery or not... There was a chance things would get worse and I'd need emergency surgery but... Eh. I waited it out. Haven't been in pain for like 8 months now though. 🤷‍♀️ If it happens again I'll probably remove my silly organ. I'm a bit insane.
Also REALLY want a cat and keep looking at ones I could adopt online but my twin and I are both allergic. My twin more than me and says I should just get a cat. He'll deal. But I cant... it feels unfair. So yeah... Cats and gallbladders.

that's so weird to me that your thoughts are like that. my thoughts are pretty clear and I zone out a lot to think about future potential scenarios or about a past situation and I can just picture my memories so well. Like if I'm reading a book I eventually zone out so it's like watching a movie. Regarding the apple, I can imagine an apple but it's not really descriptive or clear just kind of a vague sense of an apple blending into the black of my closed eyes... that's so weird.

I have an inner monologue but what I think usually is better crafted or maybe just sounds better in my head than it does outloud. So I 'm still bad at talking lol

i have full blown conversations literally with my self
dude wth is wrong with you why did you do that...you don’t even know why
i don’t know why but people need to understand that..
people DONT and will never understand it okay



shit like that happens

I'm just watching all of these videos rn! ❤😍

Your skin looks great!

The air they use is primarily CO2, which your body knows how to release, so the air will be absorbed and will go out the same way all CO2 does (mostly through your breath).

I have a running monologue (when I choose to), but I can't imagine seeing that apple in my mind. I'm almost completely aphantasic. Complete black.

the thought thing i have both i think. the primal thoughts come in visions motions glimpses or similar but the more complex thoughts come in sentences and always in english. which is not my first language nor do i use it constantly verbally. apparently its easier to dissociate from emotions if its not in you native language. who knows

The coherent sentences is something that I have in my head and it doesn’t really make anything easier. I can’t translate what is in there

I’m reading the story of my life in my head and it’s quite odd


It’s the same with my photographic memory but that’s really weird lol

I have full sentences in my head but that doesnt always mean i can translate them out loud! Or remember what i was thinking 😅

Get an FIV positive cat! They have to be indoor cats so they don't infect other cats but they can have normal lives as indoor cats 😻

I'm a med student in Chile, where we have an abnormally high number of gallbladder issues, and I had heard that it was so weird in other countries that they didn't recognize it, but I thought it was an exaggeration, I mean, I still have 3 more years before becoming a doctor and i recognized your symptoms right away. I don't know where I'm going with this, it was just exiting to know what was going on xD

GET THE GALLBLADDER SURGERY!! All my life I couldn't have avocados or drink coffee or any sort of fat in my life, and it was awful. Long story short the healing process after surgery was a bit rough for me but D E F I N I T E L Y worth it. My life has literally been changed for the better after going along with the surgery.

the thought of anyone not having an inner monologue HURTS my brain. i literally find it so hard to watch movies and stuff because there’s just a constant stream of conversation in my mind

I had a similar situation but I had Gallbladder stones/gallstones. Same symptoms and I did in fact have to have my gallbladder removed. It wasn’t painful as I was asleep and letting them do all the work. Forward to post surgery it was a week of laying in bed unable to laugh without pain but after that it got better. There is nothing wrong with taking out your gallbladder, you can live fine without it in fact you don’t even realize it’s gone. No changes, no nothing so don’t worry about it doddie ❤️

I do not have a running dialogue. It's just images and memories etc - but I do feel a compulsion to talk to myself out loud. It helps me process everything more easily. Right now, I live with people I don't feel comfortable with, so I'm quiet, and everything feels jumbled and shitty.

I have a co-worker who makes people feel telepathic for 7 1/2 hours a day. From beginning to end, she says her whole train of thought aloud. It got even more bizarre (and a little entertaining today when she was thinking aloud while with a mouth full of food.

As someone with a running monologue in their head, it’s like talking to someone but no one else is there. Idk if this is normal but I have like, conversations in my head? I know it’s all one person but it’s like “do I want a snack?” And the other voice says “no stfu and do you’re homework”. Other times when I’m actually talking it’s like my thoughts disappear, almost. Like I can’t talk and hear my thoughts at the same time

me: is studying




still me: uses her voice as a calming asmr

a friend of mine had her gallbladder removed last year and she said she did put on some weigth and has to make sure not to eat tooooo many fats but other than that she feels great! she's very healthy and all :) if you can't live with it, you can live without it in this case haha

i have the same thing dodge has - i don't have an inner monologue but the way i would describe it would be like this:

its they same way a dog would think. dogs don't 'speak a language' but they still think. they feel emotions and thoughts and i think that's the same way i think.

Dodie you're so special

doctor dodie is so sassy i love her

do dodie and i have the same brain ?? literally the way she describes her thoughts hit me so hard ... like that is ME !! wow.

Also I have a running monologue as to making decisions. I hear myself talk through most things. But I don't hear myself say "I want cereal" or things like that.

Gallbladder attacks are horrid. I remember lying on the floor of the shower in my university dorm building sobbing. I threw up a few times because the pain was so unbearable.
Removing my gallbladder was the best thing that could have happened for me. While the recovery did take a week or two, it was so worth it. The gas they pump you full of dissipates. While it is working it’s way out of your system, you will experience pretty bad cramping. I would say it feels similar to bad period cramps or a lesser gallbladder attack.
If you do it, I would recommend having a big pillow to hug for a few days while you recover. That kept me most comfortable.
After recovering, your digestion does change a bit, at least at first. You may experience food moving through your body a lot faster than normal. I didn’t find changing my diet was necessary. I did have to become more comfortable using a public restroom out of necessity.
I got mine removed several years ago, and at this point it seems like my body has gotten use to not having a gallbladder. I don’t notice any digestion issues at all anymore and not living in fear of that awful pain is such a relief.
Hope this helps in some way!

I had a similar situation but I had Gallbladder stones/gallstones. Same symptoms and I did in fact have to have my gallbladder removed. It wasn’t painful as I was asleep and letting them do all the work. Forward to post surgery it was a week of laying in bed unable to laugh without pain but after that it got better. There is nothing wrong with taking out your gallbladder, you can live fine without it in fact you don’t even realize it’s gone. No changes, no nothing so don’t worry about it dodie ❤️

It's strange to me that they require a garden over there. I adopted a cat last month and I had to sign a form that he would strictly be an indoor cat.

I had a similar situation but I had Gallbladder stones/gallstones. Same symptoms and I did in fact have to have my gallbladder removed. It wasn’t painful as I was asleep and letting them do all the work. Forward to post surgery it was a week of laying in bed unable to laugh without pain but after that it got better. There is nothing wrong with taking out your gallbladder, you can live fine without it in fact you don’t even realize it’s gone. No changes, no nothing so don’t worry about it dodie ❤️

4:15 Dodie just explaining the things I learned in 7th grade science

The inner monolog thing doesn't really make talking easier because you can often think faster than you speak so by the time I get round to speaking I've already had about 4 full fledged conversations in my head or 3 different sentences being spoken at the same time or a song just pops in mid sentence etc etc. When I speak I often mentally shut up and just talk otherwise that's A LOT of things happening at once, oof!

hey dodie or anyone else who is listening with gallbladder issues, i know this video was way earlier this year but when this video was uploaded i was in hospital having my gallbladder out. if you're a bit freaked out by hospital talk maybe dont read this but i wanted to share my experience a bit if it helps anyone. it is totally your decision whether or not to go forward with medical stuff it's not for me to advise, but for me personally it helped so much to have it taken out. i got really ill as i'd had the problem for about 5 years waiting for surgery and things and it was agony in that time, i lost about 5 stone as i couldn't eat barely anything and kept being sick and having gallbladder attacks where i would end up in huge pain and having cold sweats for hours. i had the tiny stones in my gallbladder like sludge as well and a gallstone was blocking my bile duct, that stone got taken out under sedation but after that i'd been waiting so long for the proper surgery that my gallbladder finally gave up completely and ended up perforating and i got two abscesses (one of which was totally solid so that was difficult to deal with). mine was probably a one in a million case of being left far too long and stuff but i am so glad i got it taken out because i have no problems with food now, although they did say gallstones can still form in the bile ducts even without a gallbladder so i may have to have another gallstone sedation removal thing in future if another one forms but that wouldn't be for another 5-10 years if at all. but the main point of my comment was to say that i ended up in hospital 3 times in the process of having it removed and spent about a month in total there - in all the wards i was probably 80% of the other people on the ward were young women, all around early to mid 20's, having their gallbladders taken out. it seems to be a massive problem for young women and i'm not sure why. so particularly just to highlight if you're a young woman in this position it's not your fault, who knows maybe some research will come out in future to explain why this is happening to otherwise healthy young women but yeah. so far the gallbladder free life has been great for me xD but that's not to say it will be the same for everyone as everyone has differing levels of how managable it is and different medical histories etc etc. loads of love to anyone suffering with gallbladder problems :( <3

I do not have a running monologue in my head, but I don't know how to describe what my thoughts are actually like because as soon as I try to observe them they switch to a monologue. I can feel the difference so I know that's not what they are always like but I couldn't tell you what their default mode is. Probably something like you: a mix of images and feelings and words. That said, I do not struggle at all to translate my thoughts into words. I can think by writing or speaking and it comes out coherent so I don't know if having the running monologue is necessarily connected to that ability. Or maybe it is and I'm just weird.

To the inner monologue thing: whenever I'm aware that I'm thinking abt smt it's an inner monologue but if not it's just weird intangible concepts kind of? Usually in my head I'm pretending I'm in a talk show tho lmao

Today I learn that not everyones internal thoughts are a constant monologue. I don't think in images and feelings, I think in sentences.

it seems so weird to me that people dont have a constant monologue in there head like if Im thirsty I think I want a water rn

I feel like body air would just slowly release through your skin. And there's oxygen in your blood, that's air, kinda

SO.. I had gallstones for 3 years, ignored 1 year of symptoms and ended up in serious trouble. Liver damage, sepsis the works. Two years later I got key hole surgery. Released 2 hours after surgery, spent a week on bed/couch rest purely cause They had to cut an extra hole through my ribs for my liver damage repair stuff so my ribs were extremely tender. But I went to a concert 4 days post surgery with minimal pain.

alli speed had to get her gull bladder removed i am so sorry that you had to be in so much pain before they found this

at least you have answers now and things hopefully get fixed soon

SO EXCITED for this BEAUTIFUL MUSIC

instead of calling your lump adenomymatosis, just call them andy :)

Dodie, I think I'm in love with you.

dodie!! i actually had my gallbladder removed last december and it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be. i have HORRIBLE anxiety so i was freaking out about everything. it was emergency surgery so i didnt have much of a choice, but the recovery period was really not long at all, they let me leave the same day!! ive had a similar excruciating pain like you described, and i only dealt with it for a week before going to the er, i have no idea how you handle it every six months. if you do go through with it, its relatively safe and by a month you should be back to your old self!!! best wishes either way :)

I have no garden for my cat, and I have indoor plants. My cat is a very happy boy 🌻 You can train cats to not eat your plants or if they can't resist, have a room for plants that are bad for them that they can't go in. Also giving them a plant of their own makes them less likely to eat yours. The only thing is that the cats need lots of things to climb/scratch on and perch from, and a variety of different toys for stimulation. My cat prefers indoor living, especially if I'm home a lot.
Lots of love Dodie 💕

i have an inner monologue and it's quite nice, because i can tell the difference between if it's myself talking or my depression by what pronouns are being used. i used i for myself in my head, while my depression says you

YES YES YES I'VE BEEN SO EXCITED FOR THE REACTION TO THE DEAR 25 YEAR OLD DODIE VIDEO

How is it that you talking about literally anything, can be so cute?

I have an internal monologue but trust me it does not mean my thoughts aren't jumbled and confusing and I certainly cannot talk perfectly lmao

Running monologue in my head equals no filter so I think it I say it lol gets worse when I'm drunk it's pretty instantaneous 😅

I'm a trainwreck too xD 😂😂😂 when you said fart, I laughed so loud. I'm so childish. 😂

literally went to my pre admission appointment for gallbladder removal like 3 hours ago. surgery on monday 😂

I too have anxiety about being put to sleep for operations. However, do not worry as they will give you a pre med which will mean you will be awake but in a trance like state when you go to theatre. You will have no anxiety and fear. They will do the procedure and you will be fine.
Keep being you and doing what you do. x

I didnt remember how much I like her videos

I had my gallbladder out 1 yea the pain never completely goes away lol that’s due to me not changing my diet it honestly it’s just small nagging and not at all as bad as it was keeping it in it was pretty fast healing and wasn’t a big deal normally I freak out about everything but it was ok
And I only have 3 tiny little un noticeable scars on my tummy from keyhole witch is better then a giant slash on your stomach

IM LATE FOR SCHOOL BUT IMMA WATCH THIS VIDEO INSTEAD HELL YEAH LOVE YOU DODIE

WHY IS NO ONE COMMENTING ABOUT HOW DODIE WROTE A WHOLE 13 STRING PIECE!! I WOULD CRY IF YOU WROTE A FILM SCORE

we missed you!!!! feel free to come back anytime

my thoughts are in sentences, but when i talk they kind of stop being in coherent sentences in the heat of the moment but then once im just thinking to myself again theyre back in proper sentences.

girl. i just think in sentences how do you not?? abstract thought? what. sometimes my brain be funky but i talk in my head. and sometimes it’s just like a video.

i only think in sentences when i’m imagining having a conversation / talking to someone/ myself / an audience lol?? also yes there is always a song playing

I had the same pain and it took a year for anyone to identity it as gallbladder stones. Long story short, I had mine removed and the recovery isn’t the most comfortable for about a month. I still have trouble digesting BBQ, but that’s pretty much it. Most people don’t have to change their diet that much, most go back to eating whatever they ate before.

And the gas you do fart out, the nurses made it seem very important to fart after the surgery. It was celebrated.

I've never related to anyone so bad about how they think

Doctor: what the fuck is wrong
pls can all doctors be like dodie that was so weirdly calming

i think in sentences most of the time, but when i'm tired or stressed it's less cogent.

so what I’m hearing is

you HAVE an internal monologue

it’s just Goblin Dodie

I think almost entirely in words. The biggest issue is when you are trying to think about something and then you forget a crucial word and you suddenly don't know what you're thinking any more because you can''t put it into words in your own head.

It's also accompanied by a propensity to waffle.

the monologue thing gave me a crisis at 1 am last night I had no idea people actually saw things when they were picturing stuff I just get the feeling of it and basic descriptive words no images

My thoughts are weird like I'll need something and I'll just talk to myself (in my head) like a proper conversation. The weirdest thing is that I'll be in a conversation, I'll think of what to say but it sounds so real that I'm not sure if I said it or not, so periodically I have to ask if I said something (yes I get quite a few dogey looks) it's even worse if I actually say it and then ask. I really don't like it, it makes me feel really disconnected from reality and the conversation that I'm in. (I think that's everything 😅) self rant over

THE THING ABOUT YOUR BRAIN - I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT ALL WEEK!!!!! it must be so easy for them to write songs. maybe thats why people can freestyle so well. I stutter a lot and forget what im saying in the middle of talking and i think its because i dont think like that.


very interesting...

just today i was thinking about how much i miss you and this style of video!!
i hope you’re well lovely <3

there has literally never not been a running monologue in my head diuuuude its so tiring

Wait. That’s so interesting. Like your thoughts aren’t sentences? I’ve always wondered if ppl think the same. For me I feel like my thoughts are an extra filter on my mind, so there’s the mess of memories splurged with emotions and feeling. And Then there’s like my processor part where I listen to that and think “hm yes that day was fun” or whatever. The problem is thoughts are impossible to record because they’re far more fluid in your mind but when I try to write them down I have to think harder. Yeah strange.

what’s it like going to the emergency room
and not going into debt with a huge bill? I’m sorry that’s all I can think of when you mentioned ambulance and A&E

Should we listen to you when you tell us not to listen to you? I had my gall bladder removed. I have had no pain since.

hahaha i saw those things on tumblr. personally i dont see the apple well and also i usually have coherent sentences but i'm not really aware of it. i guess it helps me talk? but i have to plan the sentences before and make sure it makes sense and doesn't sound stupid. by the way you could totally have a house cat :)
edit to add more detail: i can see the apple but it's fuzzy and i struggle to focus on it.

I have a running monologue but talking is still extremely hard for me. I can never concentrate, and never know how I want to say things.

In the US most shelters and rescues actually don't want the cats to be indoor/outdoor. I hope you get a kitty. Mine makes me so happy! I went to the local shelter and he had been there for a few months. He's changed my life for the better.

my friends all think i'm weird as i think in sentences like some sort of monologue or book.
i honestly thought that all people thought like that until my friends told me otherwise.

please write the book it sounds so cool

also, Dodie I'm pretty sure the air in your body ig, would come out like in farts, it'll be okay!!💜

my favorite youtuber hands down 💕

I don't have an internal monologue. But I think that makes it easier for me to think in different languages. I just translate the moving pictures and melodies and the non-linguistic mush in my mind into my second, third or fourth language.

I think I have a mixture of monologue and not. Sometimes I think in sentences, and that's easier to notice. The rest of the time it's just like a vibe or pah pah pah du du etc sorta things

Okay you know how sometimes you read a book too fast and before you know it you're at the end of a page and you can't remember anything the entire page said and you have to go back and read it slower? That's kind of how it is having the sentences in your head so it doesn't always make it easier to talk it's like sometimes my brain is being dyslexic but instead of reading words and having them be jumbled it's like I'm trying to say them and my brain just jumps around to different words, like when you're skimming a page and certain words jump out at you so you know the general idea of how you want to say things but sometimes it just comes out in a mess

honestly when someone says "imagine an apple" i see the word written out in my head! sometimes when i listen to ppl talk my mind's eye like types it out in front of me if that makes sense?? like having subtitles for irl convos lol

OoOoOo Doooodie!! You are doing the singing thing again! Which means two things 1.) You makin' another scrapbook song yee & 2.) you will be posting more videos :))))))) thassa a win win all around right there!

literally writhing in pain as i’m watching this

OMYDAYS I HAD EXACTLY the same with the gallbladder thing, but mine was just overproducing stones, had keyhole surgery to remove my gallbladder if you want a patient perspective ;) some air is often left behind, it hurts get a bunch of ginger ale or something like that that helps it. after i came out of surgery and was a bit delirious and I asked whether my gallbladder was ok and to made sure he wasnt alone.

Not sure that you’ll read this but - my gallbladder was fulllll of stones and i had those pain episodes you describe but more and more frequently and getting the removal was the best decision of my LIFE.

Your body can properly get rid of any air that gets left behind, but I had my gallbladder out that way and will say I had very manageable pain from the actual removal but sharp pains in my shoulder from a little leftover air pushing on nerves in my diaphragm before it was disposed of by my body (few days later). That shoulder pain was the worst result of the surgery for me.

Also, I’m just one person, but my fat digestion is still very normal unless I eat past fullness on all fried food then I will run to the toilet. (And several years later this has remained the case)

Best of luck with whatever happens going forward with your gallbladder!

I can't see things in my mind. I've spoken to a lot of people about it, I kind of feel like I'm missing out. Dreams are more like feelings in response to a situation and recalling how I felt, rather than actually seeing it. My memory is shocking and I think that's because recall is visual as much as anything else? A lot of people are really curious and confused about it when I ask people to try and see what it's like from their perspective. I can't think of a family members face, but I know what they look like. But I don't know any different so it's okay :)

I had my gallbladder removed and hear about needing to have a low fat diet. However more than 6 months after the operation I have all the fat I want and still have my original diet and am completely fine and rarely feel any pain close to that off gallbladder pain. (maybe just a small stomach ache that will go away from paracetamol if I eat a whole block of cheese in one go and even then it’s rare). The air from keyhole surgery goes away in a few days, you may just be bloated for the first two or so days which may also just be due to swelling around the area. Hope this helps.

I want another book 🥺🥺🥺

My thoughts are like 50 google tabs open , half of them won’t load and I can’t work out where the musics coming from . Also with the operation, get it if you think it’s best , because I know you feel like your not meant to be messing around with organs and stuff but your also not meant to be in that much pain regularly . But yeah it’s your body so your really the only person who can decide . Good luck ! ❤️

Dodie? the twilight series? a masterpiece? excuse me? we have no choice but to unstan 🤧🤧🤧

My inner monologue is kind of like a book? I don't feel like its on all the time, like if I'm focusing on work it kind of turns off, but when it is on it definitely speaks in sentences, like dialogue. Also RE: cats - cats who have feline AIDS or were brought up as house cats will occasionally be allowed to be kept as house cats, but only some rescue places will offer that, and only on specific cats :)

I got severe tummy pain the day after christmas in 2015 and went to the hospital and got my gallbladder out in february 2016 and it was VERY easy recovery. march 2016 I got my tonsils out (and it wasn't good recovery) but I needed them out. I got both surgeries within a month of each other before my insurance stopped when I turned 26 in march. america. -_-

4:53 "cut me open right now and blow me up like a balloon"



I CANNOT WITH YOU 🤣🤣🤣

i specifically thought to myself earlier..."wow, I'm thirsty, I should get some water." huh!

DODIE IVE MISSED YOU THANKYOU FOR RETURNING YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN
wait hold up you don’t have a running monologue in your brain? mine literally goes on constantly. sometimes different sides of my personality have arguments over decisions i should make teeheerawr

Hi Dodie, I'm 21 and I'm booked to have my gallbladder removed on the 9th of September (they found huge gallstones and I'm in pain a lot rn) and I just wanted to say that the doctors I spoke to said it's very possible I wouldn't need to make any significant diet changes after the operation! I also spoke to my distant cousin who is an anaesthetist, and he explained how the whole process worked, because I was worried I would have some degree of awareness during the surgery and it was giving me panic attacks haha, but I've been assured by him that they constantly monitor you during the whole thing and if there's even the slightest chance you could be aware they call the whole thing off straightaway. Anyway basically what I'm trying to say is that you are totally not alone in having to make difficult body decisions, I was listening to you talk about it and I completely resonated with everything you said, from the difficulty of getting diagnosed (I was having pain on and off for 4 years) to the fears about the operation and everything else. If you'd ever like to you can absolutely send me a message, my insta is _ amy.harrison.99 _ (without the spaces) - we can commiserate about our failing tummies and if you ever want reassurance or more information about stuff, I would be very happy to help if I can. I hope you have been pain-free since this video, and I hope you're keeping well in general. All the best 💕

I have an internal monologue and yet I fall over my words all the time.

Dodie, have you ever heard the song Old Lovers in Dressing Rooms by Keaton Henson? It is so beautiful. I wept when I first heard it. Hope you give it a listen.

I have both a monologue and pictures and memories and abstract things in my head. The monologue is exhausting. I also have ADD and OCD so my brain can be quite messy. However, when I’m thinking about the future and the past OR math my monologue shuts off a little. The future thing happens because I visualize scenarios and also have a visual calendar in my head. The past also because I’m visualizing. Math shuts off my monologue because it’s just concepts and I sometimes think about a number line or I can visually do geometry in my head if I think hard enough.

Look at Dodie with this pretty make up and lovely glasses and smart talk

To your question about the gas: they try and get out what they can but any excess will rise to your shoulder area and can cause some gas pain. From what I’ve been told by others who’ve the procedure, the gas pain is the only kind crap part about recovery. Just take a bunch of gasx and a heat pad can help!

I can think coherent sentences in my head, but if I try to say them out loud my brain just goes “you were thinking? What?” And I end up rambling jhdfds. I think writing them is easier though.

we love goblin dodie

you were almost completely right. the bile go's the the duodenum! I am just going to say i'm not a doctor i'm a 2nd year Klinical technologie student. But i would say the pain is probably comming directly from the stretching of your gal ways. If it is removed you will not experiance this pain anymore. There are some definate food-pattern regulations you are going to have to hold on after the removal. But it wil remove the source of your pain.
don't take this to sereously of course i am 7 years away from a health proffesional. But i can deffinatally say the pros in your hospital want the best for you. Communicate with them!! give them as much info as you can give them.

2:00 yo that’s a weirdass vape you got there

my cats are indoors only. my vets have always said indoor only is generally healthier unless they're a really energetic breed that needs to run off some of their energy outside

i have so much love for you

My dad had his gallbladder removed because of the same issue and he's been better ever since, no problems at all.
The gallbladder was useful in stone age times, when humans needed to digest huge amounts of food with loads of fats and carbs in a short amount oft time after they hunted a mammoth or something. There was no such thing as fridges and small portions, you couldn't eat for days and then when there was food you had to eat a shit ton of it at once to survive.
In our modern days our gallbladder does hardly any work, especially if you don't eat a lot of meat etc.
Most people could do without the gallbladder just fine :)
Btw, fun side fact: horses don't even have a gallbladder :D

Hey dodie I missed u <3

“Anyway cat” is just a constant mood

Hi Dodie! Hope all is well. Just wanted to hop on here and tell a tale. I had my gallbladder removed when I was 15 because of the same thing! The pain is UNBEARABLE. My doctor compared it to childbirth, which is mind blowing. Unfortunately, the pin only got worse and more frequent for me- yuck! Anywho, surgery was definitely worth it. Now there is some pain here and there after eating lots of fatty foods, but other than that we are a pretty penny! Wishing you the best of luck :)

Imagine thinking Twilight had good writing

Dodieeeee I love your makeupppp it’s so glowy and prettyyyy

Okay so I have that "running monologue" you're talking about but it's not that simple! There's still lots of feelings and overlapping things and images and abstract stuff mixed in. Like I think about a lot of things that I don't have words for, and I think about lots of things at once. But yes it is mostly in words and I can imagine someone "reading" my mind in a way where they'd get at least a lot of it, if not all of it.

I can't believe it's been 5 yrs since that vid 😮💕

I have IBS, but they checked, like, everything before coming to that conclusion. Sometimes its really bad. After the last "flare" i had, I haven't been quite the same but i'm a lot better than what i was. it was the worst thing ever, i hear u dodie. They checked my gallbladder. Checked my intestines by using a camera up my bum (colonscopy). Checked if i'm lactose intolerant. Checked if i'm gluten intolerant or whatever. All of these things checked and apparently i'm fine so it's slapped with IBS. On the brightside, I have pictures of the insides of my colon and idk how many people can say that.

Watching this with my stupid brain monologue going and then you get to the brain monologue bit was so trippy, i mean idk about /healthy/ people by my brain monologue (that's what i'm callig it now) has to do with my DID/Dissociation and it's annoying af because it will. never. shut. up. like i've given myself (temporary thankgod) hearing loss multiple times cause of trying to drown it out and ugh yeah, brains are weird


Also as far as analyzing it, you ever seen those old cartoons of the train going reallly fast the the character like laying down track as fast as possible while on the train? It's a lot like the opposite of that! Like the words just fall into the abyss maybe like 5 seconds max after they're thought?

Having a running commentary in your head is actually incredibly annoying 😂😂😂 it’s like trying to tell yourself to just shhhh for a few seconds so there’s a bit of peace but your inner voice doesn’t keep quiet 😂 while there’s a song playing from start to finish in the background

2:12 your impression of the doctor saying "what the fuck is wrong" is my sexuality

I get severe stomach pain, from time to time, and I just take two or three calcium carbonate tablets, to knock it out. I don't it surprising that it takes two or three to work.

I knew dodie was someone who didnt have a monologue inside their heads. She just looks like she doesnt. Anyway it feels good most of the time but it's not as easy to bring this sentences into the real world or the paper as you might think. Sometimes it's very frustating because you have a perfect sentence in your head and a perfect idea but you just C A N N O T For the life of you articulate it in a way that people will understand. That's probably the worst part.

Sis as someone who deals with chronic pain (and also spend many nights with pain induced insomnia) and has gotten her gallbladder out when I was 22 trust me it’s so worth just getting it out ♥️

Ps. I, too think twilight is a phenomenal series and after jogging my memory I have NO SHAME and at 28 I will be re reading it as soon as my brain fog from said pain dissipates a bit.

Pps, the air they pump in definitely gets farted out, that’s one of the reasons while the hospital always asks if you have passed gas or pooped since waking up from surgery. The anesthesia also slows down things like your stomach, intestines, bladder, etc. so they just keep you long enough to make sure everything is back in working order and your pain is controlled by pills for you to get discharged ☺️ and I’m not sure about the UK but here in the US if you’re anxious about being put under you can talk to your team and they can get you something to calm your nerves a bit before they bring you in ♥️I have a shit ton of other tips a tricks since I’ve had 10+ surgeries and procedures so if you have any questions please please feel free to tweet/dm me @spoonieswiftie91

Oh, and how to pronounce Adenomymatosis cause I'm bored: Uh-Den(as in beaver den)-Uh-Mee-Muh-Toe-sis
Edit: I am one of the monologue people you're talking about for thoughts, and no, we don't find it ridiculously easy to talk. Well, I don't anyway. But I have never had to plan out writing assignments, nor am I ever stressed to just come up with something on the spot. I mean, it feels like I can hear my thoughts and they're pretty clear. My mind is just good at simulating certain stuff. I don't have perfect pitch (unfortunately) but I can simulate everything from a snap in an echo-y room to the strum of a guitar in a music studio
Edit again: Kitten season is coming up and if you get a kitten, you can train them to be an indoor cat as long as you're careful enough to keep 'em inside

Ask people who have had the operation to ask how they live without it afterwards. Also people who haven't had the operation also would they be able to just remove the lump????

It totally understand it! Its like you´d never be able to describe how your thoughts and imaginations feel like. For example litterly annyone is able to see a fckn apple in 3D in their minds BUT I CANT its so sad and theres no way to explain it just is like that. (I btw always thought its normal to not be able to see images really clear in ur head BUT IT IS wth)

Glad my Biology revision can be done for today.

omg that brain thingy messes with me so bad.. My brain always has many layers like Dodie described; a worry, a memory, and at all times a song (and many more) and for sure none of them have a running monologue of perfect sentences, but they all have some words. and everything just goes together and I can never finish a sentence in my brain or hear one of them bc their all in one big mess and then theres a song lyrics at all times.. god bless anyone that could read my mind.

Ayy she's back
I missed these little rants so much

The cat garden thing is so strange because that's so specifically cultural. Like in the US, I bet 90+% of cats are only indoor and never ever go outside even into fenced areas.

Thank you ❣️

Tbf the lack of eyeballs really adds to the YouTuber-ness of the gall bladder story

You can totally get a cat without having a garden. Some rescue cats are actually indoor cats! #getdodieacat

My running monologue is: ohmygodeveryonehatesyouyou’renevergonnabelovedbecauseallyoudoismessupandlookyoucantevenloveyourselfdohowcouldanyoneelse

ME FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I HAD MY GALLBLADDER REMOVED LIKE IN OCTOBER,,, I'm 15 and so I know it's super hard. I had a mall function gallbladder that was producing stones when it shouldn't have. I had the surgery and it's okay. The pain hurts in your shoulders for a couple of days but it's okay. I've been horrified of to be put under. You'll be thankful to have its removed. You're a big inspiration to me and I relate to you a lot, and as someone who literally had a panic attack and ripped out their own IV tube out of their hand when being put under I can confirm that the doctor can help you if you're anxious going under again. I hope the best for dodie

I get u about the inner thoughts. I don't normally get like lines of text as a thought process, it's normally a bit of a mess lol. Writing helps me to process + organise it sometimes , can't always whip out a notebook in an exam or whatever tho lol

bro bro last time I saw one of your sit down videos I was recently diagnosed with ptsd and had derealisation and I searched it and found ✨you✨ - that was a lil around 2 yrs ago teehee

Air from keyhole surgery just kind of makes its way out? Like it feels uncomfortable and you get achy spots for a few days, but most of it goes in surgery. I think. I had my appendix removed through key hole and honestly it wasn't horrendous, but it was kind of weird when they explained everything that they were going to do (whilst I was on diamorphine or something funky)

dodie I had a cat and he ran away and I'm missing him, what do you do when you really want a cat and ur sad?

Also do you remember my ig comment where I was like PuNCtuAtiON dODiE? That'd be cool if u did, ur like a god or something to so many people and I'll maybe cry a little if you see this because even though I don't want to be THAT PERSON I kind of do :)

Oh and I think 'if I'm being honest' was secretly about ur surgery subconsciously like I think u can see the future plot twist dun dun dunnn oh look my PuNCtuAtiON and spelling are both gone down the toilet WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME

I too... am ITCHIN for CHANGE ugh I'm taking a year off of schooling and dude my life has never been more structured and boring, I need a better routine where I actually interact with people and learn things ughhhh

I thought this was normal but this is how I think


"man I'm super thirsty I have to go refill my water bottle. REFILL IT. DONT FORGET."


I think in full sentences. Is there anyone who thinks in images or spurts?

i just realized at 3:43 she sings special girl LOLL

omg i’ve missed these kinds of videos !!

if anyone hasn’t asked you yet how was your day today?

Dodie I understand my autism makes me think that way it is like no focus or when my BPD kicks it it can become 5 thoughts all at once instead of 5 random different thoughts

So you have the song plus the what should I have for lunch thought plus something else

When I have good days it is the song then switches to something else and all very fast no slow down time for me

I dont do well with slowing down

I have the same gut pain and i dont think in words. Facts and knowledge

I've had keyholes surgery, you don't feel it. I was always scared of anaesthetic but you don't know they are giving you it, then the next minute you're waking up like WTF happened? XD

I guess I’m one of those people who have a constant running monologue? I’ve never heard of anything otherwise, it’s mesmerising to me that people don’t think in sentences 🤨Xx

she back! lovvvveee your vids!!! also when you said "so much" at 3:32.... was that another arms unfolding moment.... but for a new song?? and again at 3:44

Wait I'm confused I thought I was the norm but I don't think I have a running monologue, and there's often days where I just struggle completely to form any coherent sentences and I stutter a lot, and my brain just kinda.. Doesn't work? 😂😅

My mom had her gallbladder removed and she felt so much better after. She used to get pain like that too.

get a cat if you think you can take care of it! find a street cat whatever you need to do, as long as your living situation allows it be happy and have a cat. I love your ramblings and it makes me think about a lot of things (inner monologue ) I hope you life is going well do your best and you will succeed I believe in you!

I have an inner monologue going constantly with fully formed words and no it’s not good. it makes it super hard to speak because you end up hyper planning you’re exact wording and then can’t say it. i stutter and straight up can’t speak sometimes because of it. my thoughts get super overpowering too, they feel like a hyperactive toddler constantly running towards different things and i get confused about what i’m actually thinking. it’s super annoying honestly. vague ideas would be easier to put into words for me than all this junk.

Lol. Not sure what was braver…admitting your health issues, or admitting you like Twilight! 😁

lol a big change~ a month later the world just said “hahaha dodie,, you want a change? here’s the biggest one i can conjure”

Dunno if that's your type of thing, but if you like reading books that make you feel like the times you really made your Maths professor proud and are still interested in the whole thoughts thing, you gotta read Tractatus logico-philosophico by Wittgenstein

I want to give her a hug.

welcome back even if it’s just for now you’re doing great

Welcome back, Dodie.

No no no no no no no Dodie running monologue brain is HELL for communication. It's like, constantly second guessing your phrasing for anything and being concerned you're just bullshitting up a storm and trying to make the monologue more interesting whenever something comes up in your mind. It's a lot of having exactly the right words for something and then saying them out loud and nobody understands because they haven't been writing a series of essays on it during every subway ride or bathroom break of their life or whatever, so you have to painstakingly go back on each word and try to find out what did or didn't make sense and basically I think we're all kind of screwed somehow. It does make writing a bit easier though- even with the constant second guessing.

I normally think with words but sometimes I just remember/think of the feeling of doing something (normally of reading something or eating something but that's like almost flavor too) and I just think wait what was that until I figure out which book or we toon or food etc

oh my gOD i've missed your vlogs !! the clap in the beginning of the vid made me nostalgic lol

I have a running monologue in my head but when I try to speak my mind. It all turns to sh*t😂. While my brain is talking I also hear a song, I see pictures of family and friends, I have some worry to one side of my brain making me uneasy for no reason. But my running monologue is probably the loudest thing in my brain. I honestly hate it. It just gives my 𝑎𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦 a platform to control my thoughts all the time. Then I’m in an awkward mood all day where I feel gross and lost. But my mind keeps monologuing and sometimes the things I think make me feel stupid and like I am annoying. So yeah that was a dumb explanation of my thoughts. This probably didn’t make sense. I will say that your music has a special was of quieting my thoughts down and wrapping them in a warm blanket. Sometimes your music makes me melancholy when my anxiety and depression takes over. Your music has helped me cry it out. Thanks.

your thoughts on thoughts (👉👉) are my thoughts exactly!! people ask me what language i think in and i'm like wtf, can't relate

I have the internal monologue thing but writing it down is SO MUCH easier than talking bc then I have to not only explain what I'm thinking but WHY and what it MEANS. When I'm writing, I don't expect anyone else to read or understand it so I just....word vomit

Okay I literally have the same exact rib back pain and it behaves almost the same exact way. It's seriously the worst pain

Yeah, life is basically like Scrubs, and it IS super easy to talk.

i promise you just bc there is a running monologue doesnt mean that i can easily translate it into real human words

are there really people who constantly have full coherent sentences? i’ll just be thirsty on literally the only thing in my mind is “t h o r s t”

6:58 i have this and it isn't easy to talk it actually really annoying

2:57 You blew me up like a big balloon far too soon—

Dodie... the video of the stomach blowing up was so awful and almost comedic that I spit my porridge out over my screen ahahahahah

DODIE IS THE “ITS NOT MY FAULT” FROM SPECIAL GIRL? (or was this too long ago? lol)

As a person who has an internal monologue, it does not make it easier to speak. I'm worrying about word choice and sometimes then the words I want don't come to me or I forget what I wanted to say.

Keyhole surgery is amazing compared to what they would have done before they started this method! You’ll be fine.

“How does your brain know the difference between what’e real and what’s not? Mine doesn’t” thats a big depersonalization mood.

With that internal monologue thing I feel like I’m in between, like it’s not coherent straight forward thinking in that I could write everything down exactly how I think it, but in my head it is coherent? Like to me it makes sense but on paper it doesn’t; but then also when I’m really awake and have my shit together I totally have a coherent thought pattern and it is exactly how you described it but I think in the third person which is really weird I know, and ANNOYING as heck but like idk is that even possible it’s like I’m thinking on top of myself lmao

yo i had gallstones and felt the SAME pain its unreal, had to take surgery and im only able to drink 1-2 cups of coffee before i get painful diarrhea B(

Cats shouldn’t be outside unless they’ve lived outside for a good portion of their life before. My senior cat was an outdoor cat for most of his life but my ladies who I’ve had since they were kittens don’t go outside and are perfectly content.

I JUST REALIZED SHE SANG BEGINNING ITS NOT MY FAULT LYRIC IN SPECIAL GIRL OMG HEHEHEH

I had keyhole surgery, it’s a weird recovery, when I farted they were really excited lol. You feel like your quite full I think, and the air slowly goes

ok so like i had my gallbladder yeeted out like a year and a half ago because that boi was not working anymore and i instantly felt A MILLION TIMES BETTER

the way you described how you think is crazy, i never realised not everyone has a running monologue in their brain, lemme tell you tho its defo not easier to translate my thoughts into actual sentences

I can not see an apple in my head and it CONSTANTLY causes me distress because I thought it was normal, but then found it wasn't. AND THE THING IS I am an artist- like the visual kind- so I feel like I now have a handicap with art because I can not see things in my head.

4:13 dodie really coming out here with that gcse biology knowledge

Everything’s like “2 seconds ago” and it is an entirely new experience

i mean. i have a mix of a word monologue or like conversations in my head but like its mixed with memories and pictures and imaginary things like dream stuff.... but like its never like on top of one each other its like a straight line of thoughts but like they are like a bunch of things. and like each thought is like a car of a huge train and when i have quiet moments in my head is like in between trains, so ... but i have social anxiety so its hard for me to talk to people but like in a way of i dont want to let everything im thinking out because i feel like im going to be judged for it or i dont understand how im feeling because for me emotions arent paired with thoughts all the time they are separate most the time so like i will feel a feeling emotionally but like its not attached to thoughts so its hard for me to verbalize it for those reasons if that makes sense.

2:11 That is one attractive doctor

Man, I have a running dialogue and I kind of hate it, to be honest. Like when I think about stuff, it has to be "spoken" as words for me to process it, but it's so slow sometimes because your brain can only "speak" so quickly. Gah!

WE MUST PROTECT THIS WOMAN AT ALL COSTS SHE IS TOO PRECIOUS.

When you were talking about hearing thoughts all I thought about was chaos walking.

My mum had keyhole surgery, you will be fine, you’ll have a few little scars around but mostly you will never even know it happened.

i understand the abstract thought that is my brain too its so hard to describe lmao

My bro had gallbladder problems. he had to get it removed. hope all is well

I sometimes have a monologue but most of the time it's jumbled

Dodie saying she's old.... 😒 Try being in the 40+ club and not just having a mind with a mind of it's own, but also a body that starts to betray...

........ Oh my god I got the same pain and at the hospital it was the same experience ... The pain has disappear XD But so far I have nothing in my body.. Maybe later we will found something ^^'
And it's the same things as you in my head ... SO MANY THOUGHT :') And many conversations/songs/words ahah

you should get a cat with fiv!!! (feline version of HIV basically). they have weakened immune systems so have to be indoor cats but they can still live happy healthy lives, and there are usually loads that need adopting as it's commonly transferred among strays and also lots of people are put off by the idea of adopting a sick cat (even tho they're not inherently sick, just more fragile). i have an fiv cat and he's the sweetest, friendliest, craziest boy in the world, 10/10 would recommend.

I had my gallbladder taken out and the worst thing that happened was that I became allergic to dairy. Moreso allergic to how it is processed in the states because when I went to the Ireland and Spain I was able to eat any and all dairy. When eating just decide if the food is worth the suffering. For me cheese is.

Speaking of cats
Look into indoor cats if you want one
My cats indoor and is extremely content in life

nO my running monologue does not always translate to words, especially when I'm stressed that monologue likes to hide and I can't remember what it was saying to me two minutes ago. But I always have a song playing in my head especially when trying to sleep, but my head just won't shut up and it won't stop running when I wish it would.

As a person who has sentences as thoughts and not pictures. I would say that it is very nice and I do tend to speak well, however I have troubles with imagining places and images. So when someone says "go to your happy place, imagine a beach and go there in your mind" I just see the black behind my eyelids and I can only see fleeting images of elements of the beach if i concentrate as hard as I can.

Weird that you have to have a garden to have a cat. Here it’s probably the opposite. The rescues would rather you didn’t let them outside. I have had cats all my life and they were always indoors. I felt weird when I let my cat outside for the first time. I was afraid of any number of things that could happen to him. I now have two indoor pet cats, but have moved to a farm. I probably will eventually have outdoor cats, but they won’t be “pets” they will be farm cats. Those type of cats don’t live as long as indoor cats though.

My mum had her gallbladder removed 12 years ago and she hasn’t changed her diet but she does get bloated after she eats a meal

I love love love love cats but I'm also allergic :(

Yes, I've been to the ER (North American A&E) twice this week.

Terrible, unexplained pain. Different area each time. By the time I'm seen, birds chirp, and my pain has gone down. And, I almost feel like a burden for improving by myself! Everyone's always helpful though, no hate for the ER staff.

Getting... Old!

but like there are those monologues where they jump all over the place and never actually finish the sentences you know? so there’s that, that’s me

"Fuck it, send me an ambulance" is a luxury Americans could only dream of

I don’t know HOW I would get by without an internal monologue? I actually have two (somehow) one is like a back burner where I go over stuff I need to do like long term and
then there’s like a Front Of Mind? one that’s like “god I’m hungry” “oo that’s so pretty!” Idk how I’d get by with a sorta sound n color system but it’s really interesting to try

"please don't listen to anything I say"
looks down at my lavender tattoo
oop

I had a crap load of Gall Stones and didn't like the idea of the operation. But best thing I did in the end it is life changing for the better.

I have a running monologue, but i can't put words in order out loud. I sound like an idiot when im speaking. But in my head everything makes sense

LMAO NO it's not easier if you think in sentences. and there's still a lot of thoughts that are just BAM but my brain is usually like, do we need to expand on this or no, and i don't really choose to expand on it or not, it just happens a lot

the constant internal monologue does not at all help me talk bc it so often is just my feelings and stuff. i think it's why i'm a constant oversharer (^::

I feel like I'm not always aware of the running monologue, and I will say, though I love being able to analyze my own thoughts, I also forget whatever I was thinking way too quickly since I'm a purely visual learner. So it's a bit of a give and take for me 😅 I feel like the monologue also causes issues sometimes, as I don't get a lot of silence. Only a few times do I not hear the monologue or the monologue actually stops, but I suppose I do enjoy the times I get that type of peace. I mostly speak in sentences like this, and sound out words in my head as I type. I'm saying all of this in my head as I type, in fact. I'm rambling, can you tell? Lol anyway I suppose there are pros and cons, and though it's mostly in full sentences the sentences can be forgotten halfway through and distractions come easy to the conversations with myself.

As for the apple, I see a flat red apple if my eyes are open and I'm creating a fleeting image, but if I close my eyes I can make it 3D. But I suppose that comes with teaching myself visual learning techniques and mind palace things.

Okay thanks for listening to the rambles of my enneagram 4w5 brain lol. Have a lovely night

i love your little reenactments

as an australian.. the fact that you need a garden to have a cat is DUMB. keep your cats inside ya weirdos.

3:43 THIS IS FROM SPECIAL GIRL AHHHH!

i’ve got a running monologue but there’s absolutely no filter to it so it’s just sentences and sentences of something random and then some more sentences of a random things that i think about in that moment !

Oh dodes I missed you

I think a lot of my running monologue just has to do with ADHD, but it is not fun

all of my thoughts are said out as if i was saying them to someone else, but im actually very bad at talking. ironic, i know.

We’ve got ragdoll cats so luckily they don’t really need to go outside they like the indoors so we just take them out on their leads. And we have loads of plants just keep them out the way ours have never tried eating them, they just knock them over instead

ima try and explain the running monologue thing
btw i’m not at all professional i’m just going to explain my mind
so, like basically right now i’m saying what i’m about to type in my head about 1 second before i write it.
also, it sometimes isn’t great because the voice in my head likes to remind me of things i’d rather forget or make me a bit paranoid
but yeah basically, it’s like you’re talking out loud but not moving your mouth and only you can hear it, i think it helps me like process situations quite well

also please can someone explain the apple thing to me, like when i close my eyes and try to imagine an apple i see nothing

dodie, ur like, a cartoon character, your face and the way your mouth and eyebrows move when you talk is so endearing and cartoonish and its briliant. Its probably the glasses and the way you animatedly move about but its really cool . Its raining, thats nice.

it’s so strange that you’re talking about the inner monologue thing because I literally was talking about this to my friends and two of them were like wait you can see things- like you can see objects in your mind and I’m like lmao yeah?? it was INSANE to learn how other people think differently than you. (I myself have a crazy loud inner monologue.)

Oh dear Dorothy Clark how I’ve missed you

You talk so fast and crazy like, but for some reason it makes me relax.

I cannot see an apple in my mind. I can’t see anything in my mind. I guess I have a aphantasia?? Not so much of a self-diagnoser but I’m on the aphantasia subreddit and IT ME

So strange. I think in full sentences but cannot conjure the image of an apple in my mind. I don’t really experience “mental images”.
Brains are weird. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Now I’m really thinking
I have the monologue thinking thing.

u ever think about how absolutely insane thinking is and then get freaked about by thinking about thinking

that was me rn

your skin looks fucking amazing wowwww she said glowing

I THOUGHT SHE SAID VEGAN PAINT I WAS SO COMFISED SHSHDHD

Get a cat with HIV. They're super safe for humans, but they're not allowed to go outside. They just need a couple extra trips to the vet every now and then. My friend has one called Biff and he's a big ol' sweety 💕

the main pain you’ll feel from keyhole is pain in your shoulder tips it’s the gas they put in you, it goes away. i had a 6cm ovarian cyst removed from keyhole and it’s daunting but the worst of it is the shoulder pain

I have a inner monologue and it's annoying. Ecspecially when I'm trying to sleep and the voice of worry gets louder siiiighs

hear me out 3:43 she sings "its not my fault" ..... is that special girl we hear?????

I have a running monologue. Its basically like im narrating or writing a book about life, all the time.

My internal monologue is the worst. I feel like when I talk I have to 'listen' to the internal monologue, speak two or so words behind, then listen to my speech to check I said the thing. This is not a reliable system and often results in “filled pauses” and sometimes I can't be sure what I have actually said to someone.

I generally think how you described your thoughts and a monologue. Oops.

I also have incredibly vivid imagination.

Yupp I had keyhole!!!!! Worst part is the gas stays in your body for a few days and you get shoulder and chest pain. But when it goes away it's a relief cuz you know you wont have any pain again 😌

YES THEY ARE AMAZING UGH

Not sure if this helps
But I've had same the surgery (albeit for gallstones) when i was 18 and I am also a medical student.
When I was done with the surgery and woke up, i was in unbearable pain and regretted getting the surgery at all because as you said the other pain was occasional and this was constant. But they pumped me with pain killers then it was alright. I didn't even need pain killers 2 days later. In the end i was glad i got the surgery because that meant i didn't have to constantly be on edge and afraid of the pain hitting anytime.
And about the complications of surgery: Never underestimate what your body can do. It can adapt unimaginably! There's sphincters that control the flow of bile into your intestines. Even if you remove the gallbladder, bile won't be trickling down 24/7 because of the sphincter. And it only opens up when you've eaten something.
It's been around 6 years since i've had my surgery and i function normally just like anybody with a gallbladder. If i didn't know that i was missing a gallbladder i honestly wouldn't be able to tell the difference!

Goodluck!

you blew me up like a big balloon far too soon

My brain doesn't do the thinking thing very well so instead, I will talk out loud to myself. That doesn't work well in school or professional situations.

3:00 "you blew me up like,, a big balloon, far too soon..."

If your potential gallbladder surgery is anything like my endometriosis surgery, the gas dissipates over a couple of days but it gives you ridiculous pain in your shoulders for a couple of days. Also the recovery period for keyhole surgery is longer than you think 😔 but if it would help in the long run, it's totally worth it.

Also, Celia Hammond often has cats that are indoor cats, if you're in the right area for one of their shelters!

i had gallstones for a year and a half unknowingly like you not knowing what it was and also being gaslit by my gp and a&e being told it was my mental health and was referred for therapy and was also on every prozal tablet too! finally i moved gp when i changed bourgh and it was the first thing they suggested! but the pain continued and i ended up having these attacks at least once/twice a week and they finally scheduled me for surgery but this is where i’ll stop because the whole experience was traumatic because i ended up with side effects but if you ever wanna talk about the removal part i’m down lol! just remember everyone’s experience is different but if you get offered surgery again plsss take it! you deffo don’t want the episodes every week it’s absolutely debilitating and traumatic! 💓💓💓 ps 6 months on from the removal of my gallbladder and i’m sooo much better with out it 💪🏻

0:30 couldn’t be more true 🤍

If your specialist is worth their salt they'll help you make the best decision for you. They won't make you get a procedure that isn't going to ultimately be good for you in the long run. Keep in touch with your specialist, keep an eye on it and if the lump gets bigger or your pain becomes more frequent then have the conversation again.

Some people naturally think in words they tend to be more intellectual based.
Some people naturally think in images they're usually more creative.
And some people naturally think in both and they're a even mix of both.

But just because someone naturally thinks in one way doesn't mean they can't if trying think in the other way it just means that it isn't their natural way of thinking.
I would expect a larger percentage of your audience to think either primarily in pictures or a mixture of both as you yourself are a creative person you attract audience of similarly creative people.

You probably won't read this yourself but there's just a little psychological explanation for it.😊☺️👍

coming here after build a problem dropped to discover she was referencing a song that hadn't come out yet at 3:42 !!!!

When you think of a more abstract concept, what do you picture? Like if you don't have sentences, what do you "see"?

Hi Dodie, what do you use to edit??? XD xo

3:31 sounds like dodies is kinda signing "so much"

another secret video project?

me realizing dodie's birthday is April 11th- a day after mine oh my word- I have the same birthday as Brendon Urie so if she had been born one day later and we also shared the same birthday- i'd sob because that would actually be the ultimate birthday

Can you do a vid of what you wear and where it’s from? I just really love your styleee! Woooo

dodie would make an amazing zoey on dear evan hansen

wow as a type 4 this whole video is like watching someone speak my brain thoughts and patterns

My internal monologue is soooo different of what comes out. The fact that people only hear what you say and do not know what you think is something i forget sometimes.

Oo same! I don't really think in full sentences, I just like "feel" a thought, and I have to try to find the words to properly capture what I think. So I'm very ineloquent(?uneloquent) and am pretty shitty at articulating my thoughts/finding accurate words for something. I think maybe you're more creative, hence you actually "think" in colours/music but for me it's more like just a thought condensed into a brief feeling. I mean I cannn like try to formulate full sentences in my brain (for speaking or writing or imagining hypothetical conversations like you said) but I would have to go over them and edit them and review and look for better words so I guess it's not as instant or flowy(?easy?) as just thinking normally and it also takes quite a bit of brain power and effort lol.
Like if I'm passing by a stranger I wouldn't think the whole sentence "Oh wow she is walking with so much purpose and her stride is so confident and whoa" I would mainly just feel the vibe of that thought in a passing "oh" thought and continue about my day haha. Or I would feel some vague feeling towards a topic and I would have to actually try to think and explain what I think/feel about it. I admit actually preparing hypothetical monologues about certain topics and saving it for future convos makes me a bit more articulate in such situations, but basically I just can't give good answers on the spot I guess.


(Is that not normal though? Doesn't it take a lot of time and effort to say out whole sentences in your brain? Like isn't it more efficient/suitable for lazy people like me to just think in phrases/feelings? Or was I actually normal and just not getting the point and people do still think like in short disjoint phrases but it's the thinking in feelings and memories/colours/sounds etc. that's not normal? )


(I'm using the word "normal" but who knows what normal even is idk)


(Sorry I don't normally comment like ever but watching this + reading the other comments just got me thinking)