i think in sentences WAY more than images. when you said to imagine an apple it was somewhat difficult for me, so trying to picture things in my mind are hard to keep in my brain. these images or scenes tend to only last seconds for me if i’m not concentrating hard enough. i usually feel like i’m writing something in my brain so yeah brains and thoughts are crazy weird


I didn’t realize that nobody else has a “running monologue” of thoughts. Mine is 100% a running monologue at all times

Me too m8. Some people just have aphantasia

Julia S she will have an inner monologue, it’s just not running all the time . Mines not all the time it’s just kind of all over the place

no like lots of people have the running monologue. Dodie doesn't have the monologue and she was surprised to find out that some people do


with like the apple and internal monologue thing, I can’t imagine anything in my head at all- and I sorta get confused that people can see shit other than darkness. I have problems wording my thoughts even though I’ve got the internal monologue because it’s just like said in terms that I understand and I have no clue if others would and it’s a hella weird feeling


I just had an appendectomy and this is weirdly relatable


i've had keyhole surgery for my spine!! i have such a fear of general anaesthetic but it was all fine when i woke up, just had to take laxatives and things once i started moving :)


I'm 18 now, and I had my gallbladder removed last August by keyhole removal way and the doctors told me that pooping was going to be hard and painful, but I didn't have that experience. I had morning surgery and left around midday the same day and was fine. I did see in other comments that people said that they either lost or gained weight but I had neither, I still weigh the same amount as before the surgery. I hope the best for you if you do get the surgery!!


Feels. I'm two months out of work at home with Kidney Stone. Keeping the sanity in the corner over here. Plenty of jigsaws, colouring in books and zen bath times.


"this is not what you signed up for"... er. YES IT IS!!!!! DODIE IS WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR. these sorts of videos are my favourite. even though your a big name now you're still down to earth and normal and wonderful and funny. I LOVE THIS.


I had the same exact pain and symptoms and it turns out I was suddenly fructose intolerant.


dodie looks so happy and that makes me happy


I sorta thought "idk like cats and gallbladders and stuff" was some kind of weird song title like "i have a hole in my tooth and the dentist is shut" lol


One thing I'll say as someone with an internal monologue most of the time, I'd say it makes it much harder to be creative and abstract with your feelings because you already have very simple words for it. And therapists wonder why you are trying to see them because you already have so many insights.


Just started following you (It's like reading a book with the chapters all out of order) so I'm not sure if you got the gall bladder fixed? I know that pain and yeah I got sent home from the emergency room too. A lot... ;) Finally someone took the time to try to figure out what was wrong. Mine was like a 12 year old laptop. Somewhat functional but full of bugs and nasty pieces of software. So I got it out and yeah I got switched off to do it. I've never had that awful pain again but I did trade it in for occasional fast trips to the bathroom. It is better than the pain though. This is a bit like putting a message in a bottle. You'll never see it most likely but here's hoping the tide washes it up on your beach. Get it fixed... Life is better. :) - Lauren


You’re so cute. I know this is sorta serious but I giggled when you sang your words and talked about the internet. I miss you!!!


I have both the internal monologue and the swirling thoughts and feelings. It doesn't make speaking easier because pronouncing the words in my head is just the same as thinking them.


Yes, having a monologue makes it easier to put my feelings into words but when I dont have the words I just freak out because if I dont have words I have nothing <br>No way of thinking is better, its jus the way out brains work

Yes, having a monologue makes it easier to put my feelings into words but when I dont have the words I just freak out because if I dont have words I have nothing
No way of thinking is better, its jus the way out brains work


I have a constant internal monologue going on which is literally just my train of thought and gets interrupted occasionally with the odd daydream or something but when it comes to having to verbally process anything my brain can’t cope and i end up changing my mind on what i’m saying a million times. 😂


I think like you - I only really think in words if I’m imagining/remembering talking to someone... or like now, when I’m having to formulate my thoughts. Usually I just kind of feel my thoughts... I duno, as you said it’s very hard to explain 😂


Dodie speaks in asmr no matter what like that was so calming to listen to 😣


I had my gallbladder removed a couple of months ago. Best thing that could ever happen. No more painnnn! Best of luck ❤ (btw, I was terrified as well but it was completely worth it)


When you said „it has a name“ I fully expected you to say George or something. :D


3:31 every time dodie is talking and suddenly sings any word or phrase i'm expecting it to be a key for a new song--


I just recently had my gallbladder removed through Keyhole. They remove the air somehow, the most pain from the surgery is if you cough and some shoulder pain. Getting your gallbladder taken out feels a lot better than any pain beforehand. It took me about 1 week to have any internal pain stop, then 2 for the soreness to go down. Personally I haven't been changing my diet too much and I don't have really any side effects. Also if you already drink nondairy milk you're pretty good on the diet front. Best of luck, I am sure you will feel so much better.


This vid was so meta - my thoughts feel a bit like the way you edit and the stuff you talk about in these vlogs. Can’t wait for you to get a cat! I don’t have a garden and my cats are indoors because hello, city life. And they’re happy. Had them since they were babies so they don’t know the outdoor life.


“There’s no other step of like translating your feelings into words” oh, yes, there is! I have an internal monologue but i usually think in english, and since i’m hungarian, and i live in hungary, ppl would find it sooo strange if i’d speak in english to them, and sometimes (when i’m feeling really shit and i have automatic thoughts) it’s near impossible to translate the english and get hungarian words out, so i just end up not speaking at those times :/

@Dominika Gerő <br>I always translate English sayings literally like 'being on a high horse', and as soon as I say it, I can tell people around me are like 'Has she gone mad?'

@Dominika Gerő
I always translate English sayings literally like 'being on a high horse', and as soon as I say it, I can tell people around me are like 'Has she gone mad?'

@SennaCookie Omg, I do this, too! :D Sometimes when I'm speaking Hungarian, I suddenly stop, think for a few moments, say a word in English (which 90% of the people around me won't understand) then continue speaking Hungarian. Everyone probably thinks I'm trying to brag about my English, but I'm really not, I genuinely forget some words in Hungarian :D

I feel you man. Sometimes (I'm Dutch), but sometimes I really crappily translate English words or saying into Dutch when I'm talking and people just look at me like I'm crazy

@Dominika Gerő absolutely! Especially at Christmas when I visit the family.

Oh my god, this is me! I'm Hungarian but I was an English major at university, I watch almost all movies and TV shows in English, I read in English, and I research all my hobbies in English, so all my thoughts are in English as well, but I still have to speak Hungarian, which is super-weird, especially when I'm in the middle of a long thought process and someone suddenly talks to me in Hungarian. It takes far too long for my brain to switch back to Hungarian.

@antimatter BIG MOOD, I can't tell you how many times I've just straight up avoided family

Pontosan ezért angolul írok dalokat^^ as a proud hunglish native speaker 😊

Man I relate so hard. My education was primarily in english and I'm also better at it than my first language.This leads me to not being able to properly communicate with family members who don't speak english, either cuz some things you just can't translate into bangla (my country's language) or I just don't know the words in bangla. I literally need google translate sometimes to talk to my mother lol.

Woah so you are not English but your inner monologue is, that’s so crazy I’ve never thought of that

Elizabet Király same ladette, i’m peruvian and they all speak spanish here but my monologue is always in english


Leaving some love here, take what you need ❤


The thing is, I have a running monologue with added stuff on top of that. Which just makes my brain muddled- always has, always will I reckon. But I find it just as hard to talk properly (I think) because you still need to filter and use proper grammar and things like that. It’s very strange but very interesting.


i had a feeling there was something wrong with your gallbladder, i just thought it was gallstones tbh but wow i'm glad you've found out what it is.
About the surgery, it is truly not that bad. I got my gallbladder out about 3 years ago, i had gallstones and pancreatitis and it was dangerous. they didn't tell me about the air that'd be pumped in, so after i had bad wind pain in my shoulder and chest etc and it was hard and unexpected. but it went after a day or so, had to walk around the hospital halls to help relieve it. the first few days after the surgery was difficult, of course, but i was so relieved that i wasn't going to deal with that horrible pain again. it was the worst pain i've ever experienced and honestly fuck the gallbladder like. again, wasn't told about the fat digestion and such so i was eating normally for about 2 years afterwards before i realised oh wow i don't feel good i should try figure that out and am on something now to help the digestion.
if i could rewind, i'd do the surgery again 100%. honestly i have a bit of fear attached to that time of my life, because the pain was so terrible and i was very anxious about it.
obviously do what you think is best dodes, i'm glad to see you uploading again, i've missed your videos. i hope it gets better for you!


I'm literally crying to a video about Dodie talking about liver pains because I've missed her videos so flipping much. Dodie you have helped me through so so much your book is one of the best things I've ever read and you will always be in my life. Please take care of yourself ily <3


you'd think hearing full sentences in my head would make it easier to talk but what it really means is i just never shut up

SAME and i go on tangents and i can never finish a story to its end without 5 detours first hhh


“How does your brain know what is real and what isn’t? ...*smirks* I mean mine doesn’t” laughs
😂😂😂

“How does your brain know what is real and what isn’t? ...*smirks* I mean mine doesn’t” *laughs*
😂😂😂


dodie ! I had my gallbladder taken out a few years ago, and after keyhole surgery, my stomach felt really tight as they used medical glue on the incisions instead of stitches and you might throw up afterwards. I still have five 2cm scars on my stomach but to be without the pain will be worth it. good luck, whatever you do!


i forgot how much i love you. i've missed you dodie


3:43 it's not my fault... I was raised by open mouths and teary eyes 😏


i missed this so much!! love hearing you talk


When I was between the age 14 -18 my thoughts were only colour and pictures and I couldn't tell what I was thinking. That was also when my mental state was at it's worse. Now at the age of 21 my thoughts are back to being a running monolog and the only time I see colours and movies are when I'm sleeping or daydreaming. It's now a lot easier to put feelings into words because my brain can put a word on it, when I was a teenager my head was a mess and I didnt know what was going on with me. Therapy helped me a lot :)


Don't mind me watching this 7 months later but I was just recently talking about the internal monologue thing with my friends recently and they thought it was crazy that I don't have one! Glad I'm not the only one lmaooo


I got my gallbladder removed a few years ago! It was scary but super easy! Now I have the cutest little tummy scars and eating a lot of oil makes me sick but it's all good! It is not as scary as it seems I promise!


My roommate and I had the same conversation about the thoughts as words vs feelings and I have the monologue and she has the abstract and it is so weird trying to conceptualize that...


You should read the "Chaos Walking" trilogy by Patrick Ness! He explores the mind reading trope in a very interesting and visual way, more pictures and feelings than sentences


Omg I really hope you are ok. This sounds so horrible. 😭💙


I feel you with the gallbladder pain...a few years ago I also experienced that pain, for a year - it's so bad, that you can't stand up straight and it feels like you're gonna die. Mine was due to small gallstones that kept in going into bile duct and getting stuck and causing infection - dr. said the stones were caused because I lost 20 kilos in 3 months (so my body couldn't keep up with the change and my gallbladder ended up overproducing bile, forming the stones) and me not having enough fat in my diet while doing so. I had my gallbladder removed and am fine - I can still eat rich or fatty foods (I don't often, just cause I don't prefer fatty foods), it'll just start affecting me when I eat a couple of that type of meals consecutively in a short period of time, but it goes by very fast and then everything's fine again. Moral of the story: I'm so sorry you experienced that pain, it truly is unbearable and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and then, I urgh you to rather have your gallbladder removed if the pain persists/problems persist. Life post gallbladder removal isn't much different than before, I was also scared to remove it, but I'm glad I did - it does however differ from person to person. Love your music! Would love to collab one day (I also sing and play piano). Best of luck with everything, you're doing better than you think you are 👌🙌🙌🙌🌺 cheers from South Africa


I really missed these types of videos where you feel like you’re having a nice chat with a friend at a sleepover


Dont know if she reads this but i’ve had that surgery<br>I had stones on my gallbladder so it had to be removed. The surgery was fine, i woke up in pain but it was because the doctor cut a piece of my liver because it had a lump that could be maleficent and he was already there so thats what was hurting. Usually just removing the organ doesn’t hurt (it’s what the other people that had the surgery told me). Also you do fart the air out, you take some medication and it becomes gas and u fart it. The recovery was quick, like a week or so, but it took longer because of the liver thing, it’s supposed to take like 2 days. Also I didn’t change my diet, but i do get diarrhea quite often tho, it’s not super awful, but i prefer that than avoiding eating the foods with fat. I did become intolerant to butter tho, don’t know if thats common. Yeah, that’s about it, don’t know if that’s comforting, but it’s not as terrible as you’re thinking.

Dont know if she reads this but i’ve had that surgery
I had stones on my gallbladder so it had to be removed. The surgery was fine, i woke up in pain but it was because the doctor cut a piece of my liver because it had a lump that could be maleficent and he was already there so thats what was hurting. Usually just removing the organ doesn’t hurt (it’s what the other people that had the surgery told me). Also you do fart the air out, you take some medication and it becomes gas and u fart it. The recovery was quick, like a week or so, but it took longer because of the liver thing, it’s supposed to take like 2 days. Also I didn’t change my diet, but i do get diarrhea quite often tho, it’s not super awful, but i prefer that than avoiding eating the foods with fat. I did become intolerant to butter tho, don’t know if thats common. Yeah, that’s about it, don’t know if that’s comforting, but it’s not as terrible as you’re thinking.


My thoughts is one long monologue (like I hear the words) but I’m still really bad at talking and finding the right words. The conversation I have in my head is so smooth, but it’s like my thoughts are moving too fast and I loose the words I’m trying to say 😅

Also Fun fact: I work in a hospital in that section where things that get removed (like gallbladders) go for examination! No one probably cares but it’s a brand new job and I’m very exited about it, haha


I for sure have an inner monologue. I have whole conversations in my head with myself and I think in full sentences most of the time. I can also visual things in my head really well though. I do find it easy to talk, but maybe too easy because I have an awful filter. I have anxiety and sometimes can’t stop myself from talking too much. But I didn’t realize that not everyone thinks like that until recently


I had my gallbladder out in 2019. The surgery was 30 minutes and recovery was about a week! If you’re in pain I highly suggest it. I am lucky that I don’t have any dietary changes now. I was scared too, but they perform thousands of gallbladder surgeries every year so it’s very low risk :) good luck!


Bile is an emulsifier, so it mixes the fat up, and makes it easier for the enzymes to break it down (I believe)

I also just checked with my dad (who’s a doctor) wtf happens with the air, and they just pump it out through the the keyholes

lovealwayskara yesssss every time I get a surgery/procedure like that I always feel like I got kicked in the back

It comes out your shoulders. I know it sounds weird but it do.

Some does hang around sometimes though. Put that on top of swelling and you could be asked if you're pregnant for about a week after. I know, I've been there haha


Hi  Dodie ! Hope you see this...

You know what... Everything in the body is connected. No surprise you have gallbladder problems, you seem to worry all the time. And you know what, in french, when you're worrying we say "se faire de la bile". Literally "making bile", making gall.

I've had some of those big tummy aches. Really bad, during hours and then slowly disappearing. I figured out this was coming when I was feeling very unconfident (in the people or the situation or myself). Relaxing myself and conscious breathing helped me a lot.
Just acknowledging the thing helps in fact.

I don't say this is what you have, obviously you've got a physical problem here. But think about it, what if your body just sends you a simple message about how you're feeling and what you should do ?

Lots of love, I listen to your work/videos since I'm 16, and i'm nearly 24 now. I like how I see similarities between your development and mine ^^
<3

P.S If you want to visit Switzerland, I can help


Hey dodie, I also have upper abdominal pains that sound very similar(especially the Emergency Room stuff) if you’d like to know my experiences with dealing with it thus far, just let me know. Good luck.


I appreciate that you actually made the vlog 10+ mins :)


I have the running monologue, I think exacerbated by having ADHD (which I was only diagnosed with an adult not knowing hyperactivity can be psychological not physical) and my inner voice is pretty much constantly chatting away. I guess if it was a bit more chill it would be coherent like you’re imagining, but also imagining it never shutting up including when you want to sleep...


i love this messy vlogs! it feels so human

also, I cannot see the apple
ive never been able to imagine images and never thought that was even possible until last year, my mind is always full of sentences and sounds, but never images
sometimes it really sucks, I can't visualize my loved ones faces, as a visual artist, can't visualize my drawings before making them, so i would finish an idea and realise it doesn't really work
since I know people are able to imagine I've been getting kinda better, I think maybe? idk just writing as I thought, because that's and advantage of thinking sentences ;)

@Ash L interesting. I mean it stays black for me too, but I can still imagine things and scenes. It's almost like traveling mentally to another layer. Closing eyes isn't necessary, but it helps shutting off visual channel to concentrate on imagination. Same as we sometimes close our eyes to remember something or focus on the sound.

It's cool that we all think and imagine differently though 😌

yuranival At least for me when I close my eyes it’s dark and all I can do is think of descriptive aspects of something what color was it what shape, how did the memory or thing make me feel. Unless I’m dreaming everything is black.

But can you draw an apple and then look at it, close your eyes and imagine it? Maybe even spin it and imagine what it looks like from other sides.

I think memory and imagination are connected. I can go back to memories and transform the scene, change the events and characters in my mind. Also when I imagine an apple, it must be based on an apple I've seen before or on a collective idea of apples.

It must be harder with faces, because I heard that our brain can't imagine new faces, and the ones that we see in our dreams belong to people we met or briefly saw passing by. I find this topic of imagination, dreams, and memory very interesting. Also I'm talking to myself but have never visualized a monologue before I say it.

This is actually called aphantasia, I have it to, so I can’t visualize what I want to draw either but I’ve noticed that’s it’s made studying realism a lot easier

I am your opposite, I think in pictures! Have to do like, a mental copy-paste thingy when i speak


A couple things for dodie or anyone who could use it. I’ve had my gall bladder out and yeah you get sore and it takes some time to heal but I was at the zoo walking around with not much pain within the week. Also they do blow you up but your body will expel any extra as your body would with any gas either through farts or burps.

Also I too have a running monologue although I’d almost classify it as a running dialogue between major key elements or aspects of me. So all in my voice but kind of talking to each other. I can picture things easily in my mind so if you told me to picture and apple it would be more of a string of words and characteristics and not a picture. Kind of odd but useful at time. I still sometimes have trouble expressing things I feel cause I almost physically feel them but I can’t see them or anything and it’s typically something I could describe but that would only really make sense in my mind.


Sending love and support~<br>Also, I definitely think like you! 0-0

Sending love and support~
Also, I definitely think like you! 0-0


You’re mind is beautiful

When I had my baby, I read somewhere (among all the many somethings I was told to read) that talking out loud to your baby helped them bond to you and develop language.

I started narrating everything I did because a newborn can’t hold up their end of the conversation. It made me so self conscious. I would talk to my baby in Spanish in public because almost no one else around could understand and then English at home. It fundamentally shifted my brain. I think in sentences in a away I didn’t before. My kid is now 5 years old and now he narrates what he’s doing. Maybe I’ve fundamentally made his brain work in sentences too. Idk


I have scattered, incoherent thoughts, but when I focus on something in particular, like a task, there's more of a monologue.


I love the twilight books as well, can’t change my mind.

The air goes out your shoulders, it does hurt.. and it’s very weird.


I have the monologue “ability” and I didn’t know that THAT wasn’t how everyone thought. And I’m suddenly self conscious about my thinking.  Like I have all the stuff going on that dodie mentioned.  Like there’s music and fears and stuff but it’s almost like the sentences are all chopped up and jumbled together and I’m able to sort it out because I’ve always thought this way but if I were to put it on a page it’d be a thought. A single sentence thought but it’d take like four or five lines because there’d be lyrics and <b>drums</b> and my fears and stuff interrupting it at times.

I have the monologue “ability” and I didn’t know that THAT wasn’t how everyone thought. And I’m suddenly self conscious about my thinking.  Like I have all the stuff going on that dodie mentioned.  Like there’s music and fears and stuff but it’s almost like the sentences are all chopped up and jumbled together and I’m able to sort it out because I’ve always thought this way but if I were to put it on a page it’d be a thought. A single sentence thought but it’d take like four or five lines because there’d be lyrics and *drums* and my fears and stuff interrupting it at times.


My mom got her gall bladder removed when I was little & she was even talking the other day about how awful the pain was before getting it removed


My thoughts: To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come

Me speaking: I, um, yeah that um was very interesting ha

Fabiana Bracho same, my brain is very articulate but my mouth is not

Your mind just plagiarized Shakespeare 😂


I had my gallbladder surgically removed when I was only 9 years old because it just literally decided to kill itself after I ate McDonalds one night. I'm fine though lmao so Dodie will hopefully also end up just fine.


Thinking in monologues is great for analysis for sure, but you can quickly feel super trapped in the little boxes of vocabulary!!! Consciousness is a cage for us!!


To answer the talking question: I have a running monologue but whenever i want to say something my brain just glitches and takes ages to think of something to say so talking is very difficult for me


My God, my thoughts are just like yours. It feels like all things at once are just poping in your head out of nowhere in so many different places.
Also, this is a real burden when I have discussion with my friend and I'm trying to come with logical arguments and I understand her point of view, and I know why I disagree (or agree with her) but it's more like feeling or image or even colour or smell or texture. And it doesn't help that those thing pop out all at once, without warning. Like I think I named it and said it, but another thing comes which also seems true to me and suddenly there's somehow third side of the coin. My god, I'm so bad at discussing things...

I think it may have something to do with mind being more intuitive or more sensing (like with MBTI) and those I types are more like ideas, smells and pictures and those S types are more like words but I dunno. It's just a random thought :p


I've got like a mix between weird, everywhere thoughts and running monologue. It switches between, usually, or mushes together


HAHAHAH as someone with a running monologue brain I can tell you it does NOTHING to help with translating feelings and thoughts into sentences for me


Having OCD makes my running monologue a terrible train ride slowly descending into a train wreck.

I tend to talk too much when I'm anxious until the thoughts constrict me.

I like the way you think too Dodie. A memory and music sounds wonderful as well.

Don't be too harsh on yourself.

Easy to say hard to do I know.


You are so wholesome my heart can't take itt. If you do surgery I hope it goes well but either way I hope you feel better!! You are an amazing and inspiring person who doesn't deserve to go through any of that. Also I'm sorry people aren't letting you adopt a cat friend but i hope you get one soon so they can help you write your second book haha <3


Dodie, hopefully I can help you feel better with my own gallbladder tale.
I had my gallbladder out a couple years ago at 21. I went to the ER at 2am once in the worst pain of my life and had a bunch of scans and tests, the ER doctors were amazing and helpful. However the doctor who I went to for his opinion on seeing a specialist told me I was 'too  young' to have issues with my gallbladder and then asked me if I was sure it wasn't my period (he also answered his phone during my appointment and pressed on my abdomen without letting me know he was going to). I ended up being like "I'm not in pain anymore" and this doctor had made me doubt myself so I didn't see the specialist. I ended up back in the ER 6 months later, and had to face the same ER doctor who very politely told me I should get the scan he told me to get 6 months ago. But yeah they discovered my gallbladder was garbage and full of stones and took it out. Recovery wasn't bad at all and they literally GLUED the incisions because they were so small and I can barely see the scars two years on. I was however on heavy drugs and a few hours after my surgery decided to have my best friend drive me to my sister's house (I was on drugs and couldn't drive, safety first kids) so we could all watch a scary movie, and for some reason nobody stopped me.
TLDR: I had terrible advice from a medical 'professional', but once I got my gallbladder out I've felt so much better and recovery was very easy.


I just had surgery a couple of weeks ago to get one of my ovaries taken out because there was a cyst that made it grow to the size of a football lol. I hate the idea of being put to sleep too and it was really scary to think of being unconscious and cut open but my surgery went really well and it feels so much better now to have the sick organ gone and my body healing. That is a really big decision to make and I know you'll decide whatever is best for you, but if you do get it done just remember that the doctors have done this all before and they know what they're doing and want the best results for you too and I hope you're able to feel a little more at peace about it <3 lots of love


I'm 23 years old. I remember 7 year old me beginning a live narration of my life, nearly transcribing every detail of my life into chapters of the book of my life to be read by future generations by some advanced technological technique all in my head, and a few years later feeling that this was a childish habit and devoting the next few years to quitting the narration out of embarrassment but not knowing how humans were SUPPOSED to think and idk my thoughts have never been the same...


Man, I didn't realise how much I missed these videos of you talking about your thoughts and stuff. I don't really use social media so I haven't seen much of you but I know you've been touring. Anyway, really interesting thoughts about the way people visualise things in their mind and the way their inner monologue works. I found out a year or so ago that some people can't see images in their mind and they only see words?? So they can't dream in pictures, it's just words. That's insane to me.

My inner monologue isn't just a running script but it also kinda is? I don't see words but I am speaking... It's like reading a book. Sure, sometimes music plays but it can't play while I'm thinking so it pretty rarely plays. I'm not a musical person and rarely listen to music because my inner voice is so loud and doesn't shut up. It's like as if I were speaking to myself aloud. So yeah, I do think sometimes that I feel like oat milk out of nowhere or that maybe I should do this or I feel like that. I have a lot of imaginary conversations in my mind. That's why I really like journalling. The thoughts just keep coming and could go on for as long as I'm conscious. But then that leads me to write super long paragraphs like this one that aren't very concise.


Your great keep thinking about your thoughts. Choices are best to make yourself so make it then life with it knowing it's what u wanted at the time


!! you can get cats who have never been outside! like housebound cats! i can’t remember the word but a lot of shelters i’ve been to have cats who are happier just being inside!! <3


Also- Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf is written as thoughts. I highly recommend the book. It’s basically like written memories which jump to thoughts and feelings. Woolf also shifts perspective between the thoughts of one character to another. It’s really clever but sometimes harder to read as it gets confusing.


Literally, everything you explain as your symptoms were what I experienced. I'd seen a doc so many times, but by the time I got there the pain was gone. I thought it was gas related, sometimes the pain would feel like it was in my back? I'd also have to roll around in pain, and a hot bath could dull it. By the time I got to the hospital when it was unbearable, they said they have to take it out RIGHT NOW, EMERGENCY! It was about to explode...so. Yeah. Life without it is great so far, it's been almost two years. Happy I am rid of it before it got rid of me.

ALSO, you fart it out ;) For days. Super cute.


Me: “how can she afford an Ambulance???” Also me: lives in the US


i needed this... clarification of... me not being the only one thinking. I know it seems kinda weird, but i haven't encountered a well reflected and philosophising human in a long time. Thank you


Dodie is soooo beautiful with glasses. Her eyes especially, like oh my god


I recognized your descriptions of your pain as my own. Hopefully they'll take your gallbladder out soon, the recovery from laparoscopy is so fast and you Just get a few scars in exchange for no pain. :-) good luck.

My pain started coming every month before I finally decided to have the surgery. My eating habits have not changed afterwards (I don't eat a TON of greasy food, but I do eat it) and everything's great. I did change my diet for a month before my surgery (to the minimum of fat deemed healthy by a nutritionist), once it was scheduled on the recommendations of my doctor, but afterwards everything went back to normal. Anyway, hope this testimony helps you decide or be more at peace with your decision.


I have what you mentioned about a running monologue in my brain, and honestly it's not much easier to talk as it would be for someone who doesn't have words in their brain. most of the sentences that I say verbally are so broken and jumbled. I actually speak worse than most people do. just some input from someone who can imagine words and say full sentences in my brain!


yo dodie this conversation about how people think is exactly how i've felt and its so hard to describe to people because im like "i dont think right but im fine but theres nothing in my brain"


IM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE HAS THIS ISSUE W THE JUMPBLY WORDS OMG IM LISTENING TO YOU TALK ABOUT MY OWN BRAIN WTF WE ARE SAME YES


The best of luck if you decide to go for the surgery dear Dodie💕


dodie really looks like a goddess oh my goodness


when i found out people can hear their thoughts i freaked out. my brain is the same way, i don’t think in words, just abstract concepts and feelings that lead me to acting in them. if i ever were to have an “internal monologue” it would be talking to myself. that’s the only way i can hear my thoughts in a coherent sentence. my therapist would ask me what thoughts usually triggered me to feel a certain way and i would always be like “idk it just happens there’s no specific thoughts” cause i never knew some people hear their thoughts. like i can hear right now when i’m typing this but that’s because i’m making a conscious effort to turn my thoughts into words. it’s wild


I feel bad that you have to figure out how to function like this too, but it's a relief to hear that someone else's thoughts are like this instead of a clear running monologue!


I have a chronic pain condition, and it can be really hard to figure out what's the best thing to do. Your decision is your own, and I hope it all works out


hey Dodie! I'm a bit late, but I wanted to say that my mom had the same thing when she was in college and what worked for her was exercising. she had a treadmill and would take a brisk walk on it until she felt better and could sleep. she did eventually have get gallbladder removed, though, with robot surgery, and she's all good now! she hasn't altered her diet too much either, so it wasn't too bad for her and she found that she was far more worried than necessary :)


"Out of practice" WELL ITS ABOUT TIME YOU GOT BACK IN PRACTICE YOU BEAN IVE MISSED YOU


I've been thinking the exact same thing about the style of thoughts thing! I'm deffo more of a dodie than a monologue thoughts kinda person


its hard to deal with a running monologue because sometimes it runs too fast for you to handle. sometimes you think yrself into a loop without really grasping onto the concept you're thinking about because you just keep going on and on about it.


I would love to read a collection of super power short stories!


My thoughts are a mix of talking, images, music, feelings, etc. The talking and images take up pretty equal amounts of my time with feelings throughout and stuff like music occasionally. I thought this was basically how everyone thinks?


When I read Twilight I had that same thought of "people don't think in full sentences" and then I realized that thought was a full sentence lol


Inner monologuer here: Just cause we have coherent thoughts doesn't mean it's easy to talk about feelings. 9 times out of 10 language cant adequately describe what I'm feeling.


I just realized how MUCH I missed dodie omg


i can't see an apple when i try to close my eyes & imagine it! it's weird -- i can imagine the idea of it, or words to describe it. the words one isn't really imagining it. it's just describing it with words. can y'all seriously, like... see an apple when you close your eyes? or anything you can come up with? :0


I really like your glasses. Thanks for reading this!


The air does go! A friend of mine had a surgery that required her to have air pumped into her. It dissapates!!! You just have to move around


on one hand i feel like the fact that i have an inner monologue does help me communicate more easily but on the other hand my thoughts move so fast i speak a mile a minute and promptly forget what i was just thinking so i think it probably balances out....like imagine taking lecture notes on a prof that speaks literally nonstop on like 2x speed. its hard lol


As somebody who’s missing an organ, it’s not as scary as you think ❤ In regards to the air thing typically you burp it out and stuff like that, it does cause a tiny bit of back pain/headaches though. But the decision’s yours :)


i love you so much, thank you for sharing your thoughts


warning gross stuff btw: i had my gall bladder out and had similar thing where i had random pains every few months but i ended up getting pancreatitis because of the gallstones and was in hospital for two weeks because of the pancreatitis. since getting it out i occasionally get heartburn but ive not had to change my diet at all and the recovery was really quick from the operation! bearing in mind i had an abscess on the gall bladder that popped (lmao 🙃) so i had to stay in hospital longer to get it drained so i didnt even have a “typical” op/recovery and i recovered so much quicker than i genuinely thought i would. id recommend getting it out because that pain is awful


Being one of these people who have a running monologue in their heads, I'm jealous of those who can think in images, or sounds, or anything that's not just words. I won't lie, it makes some things easier (I think, I'm just assuming from what I experienced and what people have told me) but just as you need to translate your thoughts into words, we sometimes struggle to translate our thoughts into something else, be it images, sounds, even actions, anything else.

Galileo can you not imagine a musical tune in your head then? or picture images? i think i also have an internal monolouge but i can also think in sounds and pictures if the need for it arises. do you not have that?


Yeah my thoughts kind of come out in word form. For me, it helps me visualize my thoughts more and helps me sound a bit more articulate but it also makes reading hard for me because my brain doesn’t wanna read fast. I basically read as fast as a normal person speaks and that sucks


it always feels and looks like I basically have a chalkboard in my head constantly making words like right now and sometimes I can have amazing conversations but sometimes its not fun and I'm silent for 90% of the conversation because my mind can't find the right words so i space out and try and think of the right words for a long time. also when you told me to think of an apple I saw a red apple in like a black space with a flat bottom with the word Apple written above it in white. my brain is weird and sometimes when i switch topics constantly my mind goes blank and basically starts a new page. noooooo nevermind my mind is like those Required tests where you can choose whether you want a black background with white writing or grey with pink writing or navy with yellow writing or black with white writing. If you were typing up a story and inverted the colors so the words were white instead of black and the background were black instead of white. I hope this makes some kind of sense. also thank you if you read through this I hope youre having a good day


having a running monologue is a blessing and a curse. you can talk super fast and know what you're saying but also invasive thoughts that just pop in and you're like ' now, why did i think a thing like that"


I've actually never heard that you need a garden in order to have a cat. my cat just lives inside my apartment, and that works fine for us. except for right now, when for some strange reason she's decided she needs to be fed at midnight, even though her usual feeding times are 8am and 5:30pm. she's so loud.


1) dodie in jeans OH MY GOD
2) Dodie’s skin OH MY GOD
3) OH MY GOD I needed dodie today


The issue with me is that I DO have a running monologue in my head, but it’s stuck up there. As soon as I try to speak or write my thoughts, I freeze up and it all seems like gibberish.


my inner monologue also changes voices(and i’m sure other people’s monologues to do) but like if i watch a lot of one persons videos or spend and lot of time with someone i start to hear my thoughts in their voice.


hi!! i’ve had ‘keyhole’ surgery for my gallbladder! i had horrendous pain and knew i had to get rid of it, i totally understand the fear about this surgery. let me tell you, it was the best decision i made. the air in your abdomen is strange, and yes ! it moves around and can cause pain. mine moved to my shoulder. BUT!! the healing process was so so fast! i feel so great now and recovered quickly and I would recommend this operation to anyone :) best of luck !!


Had gall stones and my gallbladder  was dying about 2 years back. Experienced  the same pains for about 3 years, went to a foreign country, had those pains for 3 days straight, went to the er, waited for 3 hrs straight, long story short, got mine taken out. As for the gas thing, Idk what happens to it, but it was the most painful part of the surgery.


I have a running monologue in my head but I have all kinds of anxiety about talking. And telling people how I feel is overwhelming as helllll. Even though I can explain to myself in my head fully and thoroughly how I feel, my mouth won't let it come out? So it is not any better than just feeling with no words because its still just as hard to get it out :( <br>Lmao but this conversation was nice. I love hearing about how other people just perceive life in the most basic way, like seeing an apple in their head.

I have a running monologue in my head but I have all kinds of anxiety about talking. And telling people how I feel is overwhelming as helllll. Even though I can explain to myself in my head fully and thoroughly how I feel, my mouth won't let it come out? So it is not any better than just feeling with no words because its still just as hard to get it out :(
Lmao but this conversation was nice. I love hearing about how other people just perceive life in the most basic way, like seeing an apple in their head.

This is me too. It's so difficult for me to articulate my thoughts and feelings. They just don't come out properly and then I start doubting myself and then since I'm talking about that in my mind, I can't focusing on speaking and it's all a big mess.

AllieTheOtaku literally same. Often I come up with the perfect thing to say hours after said conversation and I hear the conversation play out in my head if I actually said the things that I wanted to

Karen Weiner I will literally have these perfect internal dialogues and practice it over and over again but the moment I speak I’m stuttering and mixing up my words

I’m exactly the same way! I’m actually very articulate in my head, and sometimes I can convert this articulateness into writing, but as soon as I try to actually say aloud what I’m thinking everything comes out all jumbled...


When I was a child I had no friends and so I would pretend I had friends and talk to them out loud (like imaginary friends but they weren’t mermaids or something just people). That has now translated to me always thinking in full sentences as if I’m talking to a second person in my mind. Sometimes I wonder if talk it out loud on accident in public 😬😬


The fact that you perfectly described the thoughts in my head...🙄🙄


I have a "running monologue" as it were, but I don't always find it easy to talk, because I can't always find the next word...if that makes sense. I love these sorts of rambly stream of consciousness videos!


It is a very hard decision to make, especially when you feel well for a lot of the time. I have had a lot of open surgery, six plus abdominal surgeries. All outside of real decision making, they where all very necessary so I empathise with how hard it can be for you, to have a choice and having that decision to make. If this is something that really starts to interfere with your life, it is worth thinking about and talking through it with your family and doctors. I have the hindsight to say that keyhole would of been a great option, it wasn't offered because my body is way complicated and needed to go the whole hog to fix things. I understand it is so scary, the not knowing and worry about afterwards is the worst, (sometimes scarier than the actual surgery) the recovery and how you will be. I have had a lot done, but even still it can be scary, you just have to have faith and remember that you will get to the other end of it. Any changes to your biology can be worked on with your doctors. I don't know an awful lot about the gallbladder but it is a common surgery and I'm certain there are many ways to manage after surgery and medications to help with digestion and the balance of acids and bile. As for the air thing, as far as I know some of the air escapes after they remove the bits and bobs used for the surgery (bits and bobs sounds nicer lol) the rest then breaks down and goes away on its own. I'm guessing it's something to do with the chemistry and how the air dissipates. Anytime I had a procedure where they used air, it just feels the same as having regular wind, little sharp twinges, just feels like bad indigestion but it goes away.  Having keyhole will mean you won't be bed bound for too long following surgery, being able to move around more will help with the leftover gas too. Moving helps with a lot of things, minor discomfort and slow digestion, once you get your energy back and do your every day bits you will soon feel your body coming back to itself.

(Just a wee disclaimer lol)
I also try my best to avoid sounding condescending, just because I've had a lot of surgery does not mean I think people should feel luckier or less scared to have their first or even a less complex procedure. Our pain is our pain and everyones experience is valid. It's hard to gauge how my words may seem to others and I am aware that with experience comes the "yeah but it's easy for you to say, you've already done it". All I want to do is try and help people who are scared feel a little less frightened and also less alone in it. We all get uncomfortable with the loss of control that comes with these things. It brings a lot to the surface.

I don't know if this helps in any way, but at least could be somewhat reassuring if you do choose to have surgery. <3 Thinking about you Dodie x


When I heard the clapping and snapping I was suddenly transported back to 2016 😌


i’m more and more in love w you every video :)


I have a running monologue and it makes it super hard to sleep, since I can hear my thoughts while im trying to sleep and I just go off into random tangents that I forget the next morning.  Also I too constantly have some sort of music playing my head.


It was very nice to hear from you again. Until next time  :)


I have an inner monologue, but I guess I've never really thought about it until now. For me the problem with talking isn't so much having to translate my feelings into words, it's more about keeping myself filtered. I can't just say whatever I'm thinking, because then I would just sound crazy and rude. I have to change around words and stuff in order for anything to come out of my mouth, if that makes sense.


My ex gf had two cats in her apartment, she'd turned her balcony into a little playground for them with plants and chickenwire so they could see out and climb on it but not fall out. It really looked like a tiny jungle.


I had a similar situation but I had Gallbladder stones/gallstones. Same symptoms and I did in fact have to have my gallbladder removed. It wasn’t painful  as I was asleep and letting them do all the work. Forward to post surgery it was a week of laying in bed unable to laugh without pain but after that it got better. There is nothing wrong with taking out your gallbladder,  you can live fine without it in fact you don’t even realize it’s gone. No changes, no nothing so don’t worry trust me it takes the pain away.

So in short, my advice is get it removed. I’ve lived without it for 3 years got it removed when I was 18 years old. Trust me I would have done it any other way. The pain is gone no more sleepless nights or terror of getting it at any given moment without warning. You’ll feel liberated once the gallbladder is removed. If you have any questions feel free to ask ❤


Idk why this video cracked me up so much but it did, just the way she worded things! Love it. Funny and strangely comforting.


I love dodie 💛
what the heck I love her
hey and the thing at the end yeah sometimes I’ll be having a good time and then bam I’m  worried or sad or stressed about this thing so


how is it possible to love a human being as much as i love dodie


In response to: Where does the AIR GO?<br>I've had a laparoscopy for endo, and they also inflate you for that (dunno if it's exactly the same but I assume so). Basically they suck most of it back out at the end, but there's often a bit leftover. It's a gas your body can process so it will eventually go into your bloodstream and like leave your body as waste. However, what can happen just after surgery is that the bubble of air sits under your diaphragm and irritates it so you get referred nerve pain in your shoulder (bodies are WEIRD). But if you get up and move around the bubble of gas disperses into smaller, easier to process bubbles, and the pain goes away.

In response to: Where does the AIR GO?
I've had a laparoscopy for endo, and they also inflate you for that (dunno if it's exactly the same but I assume so). Basically they suck most of it back out at the end, but there's often a bit leftover. It's a gas your body can process so it will eventually go into your bloodstream and like leave your body as waste. However, what can happen just after surgery is that the bubble of air sits under your diaphragm and irritates it so you get referred nerve pain in your shoulder (bodies are WEIRD). But if you get up and move around the bubble of gas disperses into smaller, easier to process bubbles, and the pain goes away.


Funny how I originally became a fan of you all those years ago because I thought you were fun and quirky and had a strong online presence I could relate to. Now, after all this time of watching you grow as a person while I also grew up, it's so lovely to see you as this chill, mature person who has clearly learned so much from life. It makes me really happy. Even though I don't even know you, I almost feel like we grew together in this strange way.


Dodie just made me realize how shit the internet was back then.....please come back. I promise it's gotten better <3


Hey, you could look into fasting (both intermittent or extended, though especially extended might be beneficial). I don't want to make it sound like a cure-all, but it did help me with some recurring chronic pain, and many other people, with different conditions. Sending hugs! 💛


What you said about thoughts was very interesting. I think I have 2 ways of thinking. If there is a goal or a reason for a thought then it`s always in words. But if I`m just randomly thinking and reakting to something, for example just looking around or daydreaming, then there is no words. But as soon as I realise that I ”exist” the word comes back. Does anyone feel the same??


10/10 recommend getting your gallbladder getting removed if you need it! Best decision I ever made 🌟 obviously there is post-op pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain I was in before x


aaaw the thing of imagining the life w the cat before I even get it happens to me all the time too!! With al kinds of stuff :D


I also don't have inner monologue, I think in concepts, feelings, messes. I discovered a few years back that 'inner monologue' was not Just a narrative device, when someone asked me if my inner voice sounded like my real voice and I was like whattt?? Inner voice????<br>Anyway post-surgery pain was NOTHING, PRACTICALLY NONEXISTENT in comparison to gallbladder pain.

I also don't have inner monologue, I think in concepts, feelings, messes. I discovered a few years back that 'inner monologue' was not Just a narrative device, when someone asked me if my inner voice sounded like my real voice and I was like whattt?? Inner voice????
Anyway post-surgery pain was NOTHING, PRACTICALLY NONEXISTENT in comparison to gallbladder pain.


As someone who does luckily have a running monologue in my head and doesn’t usually have a problem articulating my feelings, hearing your perspective was very surreal to think about and has helped me understand some of those in my life who struggle put thoughts to words. I usually get quite frustrated but you’ve transformed my mindset. The only thing I’d say about having ‘ fully formed’ thoughts is that it makes it extremely easy to over analyze as the detail you are able to delve into ( whether it’s in relation to a scenario you’re anticipating or a conversation you’ve had ) is excruciating lol . Just my thoughts ! :)


i've missed dodie's vlogs with my whole heart. welcome back love.


hey, by the way, my mum had her gallbladder removed and she was absolutely fine and could eat normal amounts of fat within 2 months so if you do get it removed you'll be fine


As someone with a running monologue in my head, it's honestly not as fun as you'd think it'd be. Very often my mind will go too fast for my mouth or body to keep up with, which means that (especially in stressful situations) i have a stammer that makes me smush words up and skip them out, particularly when writing. it's also not fun when you're trying not to think about something, as my mind very usually just goes in loops and loops of 'hey do you remember this thing? oh shit, i shouldn't think about that thing... anyways what about this thing?' and it's really hard to get out of


Honestly I feel like I may have the running monologue thing. But honestly it really wears you down over time, sometimes it just feels like some static or fuzz or something constantly running in my head.

I just wish I could learn to take things one step at a time more often. Ack, I don't like my mind.

Honestly I feel like I _may_ have the running monologue thing. But honestly it really wears you down over time, sometimes it just feels like some static or fuzz or something constantly running in my head.

I just wish I could learn to take things one step at a time more often. Ack, I don't like my mind.


I previously commented on how I have a running monologue, I do, but one thing that’s difficult is you can find it hard not to say exactly what’s on your mind like sometimes someone is nasty I imagine something nasty back and sometimes I say it aloud. Awkward right. But when the monologue stops I zone out completely, people can’t speak to me I stare at a spot on the wall. The longer it does it the heavier my head feels then I “wake up” and it actually feels like I’ve just had a nap and I’m tired. I think it might be that my brain has been thinking, working on things without me being able to hear but idk


"It must be easy to talk for you"

Hon, I wish it were, but it doesnt translate well...

Also... half of my mind monologue is me screaming soooooo.

Yeah, it's like I hear these coherent sentences in my mind, yet I somehow manage to stumble or sabotage myself before the words actually leave my lips.

Yep mine is majority shooting and whispers of "I dont know, but I should know, I'm supposed to know, but I've got nothing I'm blank ahhhhh"

haha really? that sounds intense, personally my thoughts are a kind of quiet yet jumbled mess lol


Your description of your thoughts, as all over the place as it is, is the MOST ACCURATE description of what goes on in my head i've heard yet. No internal monologue, like your average super-villain describing his master plan (muhahahaha), just images and cravings, and memories and urges, etc. And music in the background, of course. The idea of loss of consciousness for me causes immense anxiety as well. And change, although I am learning to deal with that with the help of medication. Love your "squeezy pump" description of gall bladder- made me chuckle.


i deal with derealization as well and it's super weird and it's been a few years since i first started noticing it but the older i get the easier i think it is to deal with. but sometimes i'm super duper aware of my existence like it's intense and it gives me anxiety but it only lasts like 1 minute or so idk it's strange. it's just nice knowing i'm not the only one although i wouldn't wish the sense of anxiety upon anyone


hey dodie! i hope you do see this because i was in the same boat as you!! i didnt have my gallbladder removed, but i also had a laparoscopy, and i was terrified!!!!! make sure your anaethetist/surgeon knows you're super freaked out and they may be able to give you something ;))  i was in an absolute state and my anaethetist gave me something that made me veeeery high lol he actually got told off by the surgeon because i think youre supposed to give final consent but if youre uncontrollably scared they will help you!!

as for the gas being inside, you do get a bit of aching and pain in your shoulders/ribs area because it sort of,,, floats?? its quite gross and a bit unpleasant but its not bad considering you got chopped elsewhere. It'll be over before you know it and although hospitals are awful, you will feel so much better once you've had it removed!! temporary pain in order to get rid of long term, sounds good!! good luck <3


Omg I was just talking about this with my family cause I find it so weird that people don’t have an inner monologue, like do you hear your voice in your head when you read but not out loud, if someone walks past you and you think cute hair! Do you hear yourself say that or what? How can you think cute hair! Without hearing those words, I’m so confused, side note- my birthday is also in April!


your fear for the internet is probably warranted but hi I'm Jo and in this part of the internet we're just rllyyyy happy to see a video of you again!!


I had the same realization about people having running monologues. Also blew my mind lmao! I think like you do - it's a lot of feeling and pictures and flashes/weird transitions, sometimes a word or two here. Like for example, if i was thirsty I would see a glass of water, feel thirsty and think "water" while also thinking of the nearest place to get water. It's mostly pictures, and I too usually have a song running in the background 😂So I feel you on the whole struggling to express yourself.

PS. about the keyhole surgery - they try and suck out as much of the air as possible before closing you, and then the little that's left will eventually get absorbed into your organs (usually the gut) and make its way out your body, but you might be a little bloated post-op. It's one of the reasons they get you to start moving around as soon as possible post-op! I'm a first year med student so this may not be 100% correct, and I know the idea of surgery is scary (it scares me too), but you don't have to worry about air being stuck in you forever :p


you don't need a garden to have a cat! my best friend lives in a flat 6 stories up and her cat is an indoor one who never leaves. she's had her for 7 years :)


My god pleaaase make a book!!!! I love when you talk and when you sing!!♡♡♡ p.s: from Brazil!!sorry the english! LoL<br>Você é linda!!!♡♡te amo!

My god pleaaase make a book!!!! I love when you talk and when you sing!!♡♡♡ p.s: from Brazil!!sorry the english! LoL
Você é linda!!!♡♡te amo!


I was born with my gallbladder in a knot,( I found out when I was 11 because I had kidney stones, still do,and I got a whole abdominal ecography) I've learnt that I can't eat a lot of stuff at once, and if something isn't good for me I go in attacks. Most of the time I puke a lot, once it hurt like hell and I thought I was dying and a few days ago I had a full on fever because of it (and nausea) and my immune system went ↘ so now I got the flu.


"I was a mess, I still am I mess, please don't listen to anything I say".<br>same girl. same.

"I was a mess, I still am I mess, please don't listen to anything I say".
same girl. same.


I love you Dodie just needed to say that


I have a running monologue and yet find it really difficult to express what i'm thinking with words


You should read 'the Knife of Never Letting Go' by Patrick Ness! It's a YA book where everyone's thoughts are exposed to everyone else all the time, and perfectly captures what your talking about - how thoughts are a mess of feelings and images and words and it's all muddled and disjointed and hard to follow. (I also don't relate at all to the idea of a perfect verbal inner monologue)


If you have "a running dialogue," you have to say it all with full memory and no practice time, so can still get mucked up in the panic of the moment.


me: dodies been gone so long i wonder what shes doing
dodie: cats and gallbladders
me: seems about right

me: dodies been gone so long i wonder what shes doing
dodie: *cats and gallbladders*
me: seems about right


dodie. i relate to you so hard. we have grown up together, as i just turned 25 this week myself and i have been following you since the beginning and i always wish i could call you up and have a chat, don't worry, i won't! to add my opinion, definitely think you need the surgery and also you overcame the idea you would never skydive.... just take this jump, too. also, as you know, all of our brains are different. that's okay! cats- you will have a cat. you will, soon. change- i have been feeling the same way ever since i got closer to 25 and it is weird for me because i have struggled with change my whole life but also i like controlling change (hair, home, etc.)  but also i feel like i am ready to make big changes?? surely you don't care to read this but it doesn't hurt just in case... anyway, your new music sounds amazing and i am so here for it. take care!! would enjoy another rambling update. :-)


I've experienced something like that and I think it's really (REALLY) bad indigestion. One time I had it so bad I thought my appendix burst and I went to the ER. They said they saw nothing & that was probably gas & sent me home with a painkiller. Everytime after that I've just had to tough it out. After many years I was able to pinpoint it. It seems I get it whenever I mess up my eating schedule. If I don't eat enough or miss a meal and I finally get to eat, there's usually a chance it will happen. It also tends to happen when I overeat. It starts as little mild bellyache but gradually gets worse and worse by the hour. And by the time I lay down to sleep I'm in the fetal position with waves of pain that feels like being stabbed while hot lead moves down my intestines!  You said every 6 months or so and that's about the same with me. I've found the combination alka seltzer, ibuprofen, pepto, something to help me sleep (melatonin or non habit cough syrup) will help get through the night. And come morning it's all gone like nothing ever happened. I'm built kinda small for a guy so maybe it has something to do with stomach size? Anyway, hopefully the lump they found isn't serious. Good luck with everything and I'm looking forward to some new music!


I have a running monologue in my mind, but it is still a mess. It's like having a dialogue aand mid sentece you are jumping topics. One of the few times when I actually create pictures or scenes in my mind, are when someone describes something. Like in books for example.


7:00 actually, i kinda have that!! i also do like hear music and shit and see pictures occasionally , but it is actually making forming words even harder. you see, my mind thinks faster then i can talk, which makes it harder to say stuff. i’m also bilingual , and so it’s half-half, and i still have to translate it all when i try to say it. it also makes me talk SO much bc i already have it all planned out yknow? so uhm,, don’t be jealous lmao


Dodie has a way of being and saying exactly what my day needed and m aking me smile


for me, my running monologue is random as hell. like, it's full sentences that almost overlap. it's a mess. it's like a rat's nest of words that i have to untangle and make sense of. i also think in pictures, so it's a mix of all of it


3:43 “It’s not my fault” from Special Girl!!!


Having an inner monologue is hell to me, you say it would be good to analyse your thoughts, but I over-analyse my thoughts. I think about every little thing, I think about thinking, I have this deep understanding of my thoughts and behaviours and it makes me frustrated that I'm still not okay. I don't know how to switch off or be in the moment, because I just have this constant internal conversation


dodie, when are you gonna do a 'no time to die' cover? we all know you love that song, we N E E D it ♥


Dodie: dont take it out, it all works<br>Honey they wouldn't be taking it out if it was working fine!

Dodie: dont take it out, it all works
Honey they wouldn't be taking it out if it was working fine!


oh my god this explanation of internal monologue makes the most sense and i think i've finally established that i do not have one


GET THE SURGERY!!! Trust me, it will be the best decision you could possibly make for yourself. As a 26 year old who has had many surgeries throughout my life due to a degenerative disease, including my gallbladder being removed at age 13, it was by FAR my “easiest” surgery, and it brought instant relief. Gallbladder attacks are excruciatingly painful as you well know, and the longer you wait, the worse and more frequent the attacks will become. And trust me, that’s the last thing you want, as I know from experience. Not to mention, by putting off surgery you’re also running the risk of your gallbladder getting so bad that it turns into an emergent situation that requires mandatory emergency surgery. A planned surgery will always be so much better than an emergency surgery you have zero control over. Keyhole surgery may sound or look intimidating, but it’s truly the best possible method of surgery you could have, being the least invasive and with the best recovery. I don’t know how the NHS does things, but in the US the surgery is usually outpatient, meaning you go home the same day and you don’t have to stay overnight in the hospital. At maximum, you would only be staying in the hospital for one night depending on NHS policy. Of course surgery is never fun, and you will experience some pain and discomfort, but it is usually well managed with pain medication and many people claim to feel little to no pain after surgery while on pain medication. Within a week, you should be feeling almost back to your usual self with little recovery pain/discomfort left, and within a month you should feel as good as new! The surgery somehow causing you more lasting pain afterwards is not at all a common occurrence, if ever. What the surgery WILL do, however, is instantly resolve gallbladder attacks and gallbladder pain altogether, and you will never have to experience that excruciating pain ever again!

I honestly can’t say this enough, that having this surgery will be the BEST decision you could possibly make in this situation! I know it can be scary having surgery for the first time, I totally get it, but please don’t let that stop you from getting the relief you deserve. Gallbladder removal is one of the most common surgeries that a general surgeon performs. They know exactly what they are doing, and so does the anesthesiologist and surgical nurses. Remember, this may be a new experience for you, but this is just a normal work day for them, one they are highly trained for. Complications involving any aspected  of keyhole gallbladder surgery are extremely rare and aren’t even worth worrying about. I know you’ll do just fine. If you’re really worried about the anesthesia part, just know that they have ways of monitoring you during surgery to ensure that you are in fact remaining asleep, so hopefully that puts your mind at ease. Additionally, they don’t just leave all of that air they fill your abdomen with inside of you after surgery. When they finish the surgery, they remove as much of that air as possible, and the small residual amount of air left behind is absorbed by your body within a few days (the human body is a wondrous thing!). For most people, the temporarily uncomfortable feeling of residual air is the “worst” part of surgery, but in the big picture it’s quite minimal, especially compared to gallbladder attacks, which you are already a pro at! In my opinion and based on my experience, gallbladder attacks are FAR more painful than keyhole surgery could ever be! If you can go through these gallbladder attacks, I promise that you are MORE than capable of tolerating surgery spectacularly without complication!

And as for your diet following surgery, it’s really not likely that it will make a drastic difference in what you can eat. Some people may experience a little indigestion with certain foods after surgery, but many people (myself included) experience zero digestive changes and can eat the same foods we always have. Eating smaller quantities of certain foods for a limited time directly following surgery can help your body learn to adjust, but after awhile your body will learn to balance itself out and you’ll be able to return back to eating normally. It’s truly not as big of a diet shift as you are anticipating.

I could honestly continue typing more information about it, but overall I think this addressed some of your main concerns and worries. If you have any additional questions feel free to ask and I will gladly answer! I just know that you won’t regret having this surgery and that it will be the most ideal situation for you in the long run! Don’t put yourself through anymore unnecessary painful gallbladder attacks. You’ve got this, and I don’t doubt that you’ll do great! 😊 Love and prayers to you! 💕🙏🏻

GET THE SURGERY!!! Trust me, it will be the best decision you could possibly make for yourself. As a 26 year old who has had many surgeries throughout my life due to a degenerative disease, including my gallbladder being removed at age 13, it was by FAR my “easiest” surgery, and it brought instant relief. Gallbladder attacks are *excruciatingly painful* as you well know, and the longer you wait, the worse and more frequent the attacks will become. And trust me, that’s the last thing you want, as I know from experience. Not to mention, by putting off surgery you’re also running the risk of your gallbladder getting so bad that it turns into an emergent situation that requires mandatory emergency surgery. A planned surgery will *always* be so much better than an emergency surgery you have zero control over. Keyhole surgery may sound or look intimidating, but it’s truly the best possible method of surgery you could have, being the least invasive and with the best recovery. I don’t know how the NHS does things, but in the US the surgery is usually outpatient, meaning you go home the same day and you don’t have to stay overnight in the hospital. At maximum, you would only be staying in the hospital for one night depending on NHS policy. Of course surgery is never fun, and you will experience some pain and discomfort, but it is usually well managed with pain medication and many people claim to feel little to no pain after surgery while on pain medication. Within a week, you should be feeling almost back to your usual self with little recovery pain/discomfort left, and within a month you should feel as good as new! The surgery somehow causing you more lasting pain afterwards is not at all a common occurrence, if ever. What the surgery WILL do, however, is instantly resolve gallbladder attacks and gallbladder pain altogether, and you will never have to experience that excruciating pain ever again!

I honestly can’t say this enough, that having this surgery will be the BEST decision you could possibly make in this situation! I know it can be scary having surgery for the first time, I totally get it, but please don’t let that stop you from getting the relief you deserve. Gallbladder removal is one of the most common surgeries that a general surgeon performs. They know exactly what they are doing, and so does the anesthesiologist and surgical nurses. Remember, this may be a new experience for you, but this is just a normal work day for them, one they are *highly* trained for. Complications involving any aspected  of keyhole gallbladder surgery are *extremely* rare and aren’t even worth worrying about. I know you’ll do just fine. If you’re really worried about the anesthesia part, just know that they have ways of monitoring you during surgery to ensure that you are in fact remaining asleep, so hopefully that puts your mind at ease. Additionally, they don’t just leave all of that air they fill your abdomen with inside of you after surgery. When they finish the surgery, they remove as much of that air as possible, and the small residual amount of air left behind is absorbed by your body within a few days (the human body is a wondrous thing!). For most people, the temporarily uncomfortable feeling of residual air is the “worst” part of surgery, but in the big picture it’s quite minimal, especially compared to gallbladder attacks, which you are already a pro at! In my opinion and based on my experience, gallbladder attacks are FAR more painful than keyhole surgery could ever be! If you can go through these gallbladder attacks, I promise that you are MORE than capable of tolerating surgery spectacularly without complication!

And as for your diet following surgery, it’s really not likely that it will make a drastic difference in what you can eat. Some people may experience a little indigestion with certain foods after surgery, but many people (myself included) experience zero digestive changes and can eat the same foods we always have. Eating smaller quantities of certain foods for a limited time directly following surgery can help your body learn to adjust, but after awhile your body will learn to balance itself out and you’ll be able to return back to eating normally. It’s truly not as big of a diet shift as you are anticipating.

I could honestly continue typing more information about it, but overall I think this addressed some of your main concerns and worries. If you have any additional questions feel free to ask and I will gladly answer! I just know that you won’t regret having this surgery and that it will be the most ideal situation for you in the long run! Don’t put yourself through anymore unnecessary painful gallbladder attacks. You’ve got this, and I don’t doubt that you’ll do great! 😊 Love and prayers to you! 💕🙏🏻


As someone who thinks in the "running monologue" as you described it, I still have trouble translating my thoughts into words. Like, I always sound very coherent and articulate in my head and then when I try to speak out loud it's just a mess and idk why???


when i was 17, on a regular ultrasound to check if my ovaries were doing fine, the doctor found that my kidney has been pushed down because of a giant tumour that had been growing from my adrenal gland. it was huge, pushing on my liver and all the other surrounding organs, almost hidden under my ribs.
i was terrified, and told that i could loose and kidney or part of my liver, told that i could even die because it was against some important veins in my body. since they didn't know anything about the tumour, they had to take it all out at once before my organs burst.

they basically split me open, took it all out in one go, and left me scarred forever.

i am so glad that they saved my life, but the impact that it had on me is never gonna go away... our conditions may be very different, but i empathise with your pain and wish that everything will turn out okay and that you will do what's best for your health...


Ok so on the topic of internal monologues, I definitely have one. I have full on conversations with myself (and others) in my head. BUT I also have the more abstract thoughts as well. I often just have those feelings that don't come with worded thoughts, and sometimes just see things in my head without any translation of what's going on. Sometimes I switch between the two and sometimes I have them both at the same time. Like the running monologue overlapping the abstract thoughts. Anybody else?


So I'm one of those people who can't picture things in their head. Instead when I picture objects like an apple I "feel" it, essentially like if I were holding it.  I also do have just a running monologue in my head at all times, and as much as you'd think it makes me better at speaking and expressing my thoughts it really doesn't. There's still a disconnect between thoughts and actions, that mostly comes from thinking faster than I can talk and my ADHD.

yes sameee, i can’t see pictures in my head, it’s called aphantasia<br>when i found out it wasn’t normal i was so confused and sad because i felt like i was missing out on so much

yes sameee, i can’t see pictures in my head, it’s called aphantasia
when i found out it wasn’t normal i was so confused and sad because i felt like i was missing out on so much


A lot of people who got their gallbladder removed lived perfectly normal lives so I would like to know does that apply to you so others who might need to go through this can know how easy it is to live without the gallbladder

I love your short stories ideas they are awesome


Did I miss a video on what was the result of this?

And  I must say that she looks absolutely beautiful


Hey doodle,

Adenomyomatosis is considered a begning tumor of the gallblader (which is fine), but some sources consider that it might turn into a malignant one (we call it pre-malign because of that). And the scans are not that accurate on determining if all of the tumor is only adenomyomatosis or if there is already malignant parts. I think you should do the surgery. :)


The part about thinking, Wow. You explained it pretty well...this is kinda unrelated but,I can have a whole conversation and explanation in my head, but when I want to write the same thing...my mind's like 'no<3 there are other things in your head now:D'

Also, some people can't hear their thoughts?! O-ok, i-, what...I am soo confused O_o


I kinda have a running monologue going around in my brain. But its more like I just talk to myself a lot. And most of the time it's about whatever is stressing me out at the moment, or all of the various things I have to do... Sometimes my mind is super chaotic, others it's fixated/stuck on one thought, others still it's completely empty


Inner monologue thinker here. You're right about the ease of translation of thoughts/feelings into language. I have been a good communicator since childhood. A past friend of mine always struggled to communicate her inner world in English, and described it one time as being similar to yours. It's a delightful gift to experience being as you do, though it certainly makes communicating in English difficult. I remember that my friend and I understood each other better when I moved from my head to my heart and tuned into the meanings in her body language and speech (register, prosody, pace, pitch, volume). I always appreciated that about the time we spent together. She had a way of pulling me back into my body, into the present, into the wealth of meaning that's below the surface, the vivid communications that are always broadcasting but seldom listened to. I sometimes manage to settle into that way of being again, and it's a joy to hold that space and invite others into it. Had a lovely conversation with my mom that way just this past month.


I had major surgery on my spine 2 years ago, I have scoliosis. I was so worried but I did it. I started getting out of bed in about 4 days. It was definitely worth it. My back is better and it doesn’t hurt to stand anymore. I was in constant pain in recovery and couldn’t even sit up. Which wasn’t ideal when your throwing up in a bowl and you get sick all down your top. Do it if you think it would make your life easier. Trust me. <br>Yes I am late.

I had major surgery on my spine 2 years ago, I have scoliosis. I was so worried but I did it. I started getting out of bed in about 4 days. It was definitely worth it. My back is better and it doesn’t hurt to stand anymore. I was in constant pain in recovery and couldn’t even sit up. Which wasn’t ideal when your throwing up in a bowl and you get sick all down your top. Do it if you think it would make your life easier. Trust me.
Yes I am late.


There's air all the time in your body (and not only in your lungs). Body isn't as full as we think, other wise we would be able to stand underwater pressure.


Dodie, when it comes to surgery, it’s gotta be wholly your decision. Look after yourself love, make your best choices.


Mate, I went to A & E and the pain had gone after 4 hours of being in the waiting room so they couldn’t tell me what was wrong lmao


this style of video really reminds me of Stevie and I love it SO much


as a running monologue person...the amount of times my mouth has almost said what my head was saying in a full sentence which would have led to the WORST situations is numerous


I read a post about turning 25 and how you’d be grouped into the “overs” category on the xfactor and I used to think they were so. old. And it made me feel like a grandma 👵🏼


3:31 when she sings “so much” I’m automatically like YES YES PLEASE RELEASE ANOTHER SECRET SONG IN YOUR VIDEOS

doddlevloggle but are you SURE??!!!?!?!?

@doddlevloggle u have given us trust issues

HOW MANY TIMES CAN I SAY IT I SWEAR IM NOT DOING IT AGAIN LOL


Dodie’s glasses all lit up makes her look like a sassy anime character


dodie: if im thirsty it just goes "mwapapa pa taking a glass out gesture gllglglgl"
me: EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING THANK YOU!!!

dodie: if im thirsty it just goes "mwapapa pa *taking a glass out gesture* gllglglgl"
me: EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING THANK YOU!!!


I had to get my gallbladder removed when I was 17. If you don't get it removed it can rupture during a gallbladder attack and be a bigger problem. It's your body and it's your choice but I can say from personal experience that it's better to get it removed.


They wanted to do the same thing to my dad but he said no! It was also a different thing with his gallbladder but maybe see if any holistic or ancient medicine can help you (it helped him, but of course he was very moderate with the lemon and olive oil shots)


dodie i was thinking about something that might help to prevent pain

its an idea i got from the gaming valley (filmcow) and i think it might help you so you are in less mental and physical pain

jason (filmcow) said that in the case he ever needed surgery he would do a 24 hour live show before it (being chemically put to sleep scares him and he has enough trouble sleeping from his anxiety)

maybe getting your gallbladder removed and doing a 24 hour live show will help you deal with it so you can stay up with people might be able to help keep you calm (it doesnt need to be the full 24 hours you can always sleep and cover up the webcam or completely shut everything down and know it is there in case you have trouble sleeping)

it is something to consider my way of thinking is that the physical pain might make you dissociate or cause more problems for you and i thought that the surgery was causing you stress and cause mental health issues why not find a way to keep both as calm as possible

i think this might help make it so you feel like you arent dealing with this alone as well


Watching this in December 2020 when she said she needs big change .......be careful what you wish for ......😬


I have an internal monologue but then I also have thoughts like the ones you describe in this video


people think differently..  some "hear' a voice as they think, some see things they think about (including words), some maybe just feel thoughts?  my brain goes way way to fast most of the time, i can somewhat hear different conversations and thoughts i'm thinking of, and also see other thoughts..  usually there is at least 10 different things going on in there.
as for writing things down as i think them, not at all possible, my brain goes about 900 times faster then i can talk, or about 9000 times faster then i could possibly write, which does unfortunately leave me to sometimes start writing one thing and ending with another thought.  but it my mind i'm thinking i wrote two different things, when i actually wrote half of one thought and half of another.   (which is why i generally read back what i read at least once before i post / send it)
so don't worry if you think different then other people, everyone is different, and that is a good thing.


Hi Dodie. Hope all is well. I was introduced to you via "When" and your experience with DPDR. Just curious if you still experience it and how your recovery has been for the past few years since you talked about it (maybe it can be in your response to your Dear 25 year old me). I was trying to find a way to contact you directly but this is the only thing I found. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you. -Ehab


I am!!! 18!!!! At college for the first time!!!! And the idea that I could be OKAY with change and WANT it and not want to GO BACK all the time???? Cannot imagine that. Would like to hear more, please. Perhaps I won't be having existential crises every night


I had my gallbladder removed March 2020, after 3 years of having gallstones (didn’t know for the first year because doctors are so dismissiiiive in the US). I regret not removing it sooner because holy biscuits that is LITERALLY the worst pain. Like so severe that only hydrocodone could touch it, so severe that it would cause me to physically shake. 10/10 would not recommend gallbladder problems😅 BUT 10/10 would recommend having it removed if it is giving you as much trouble as Dodie and I 👏🏼


I have a running monologue but it's still so difficult to turn my brain sentences into sentences I can speak to people. Also feelings aren't as simple as "I feel thirsty" but there's usually a thought acknowledging the feeling most of the time? I didn't realize people didn't have sentences in their head???


As someone with a word-mind, I had the same realization that you had in reverse! When I read books or heard people say that they pictured something (like your apple!) in their minds, I thought it was poetic or something rather than literal. I don't see any pictures in my mind - if you asked me to picture an apple, I could perfectly describe to you what the apple looks like with words, but I don't actually SEE it. I just kind of know what it's supposed to look like?<br>I do also have the random other parts of the brain playing songs or having memories or feelings while my brain is monologuing, it's just that at any point if my attention was called to one of those other things, I could immediately understand that thing in a verbal way. I don't have that extra translation step, but I've always been jealous of people like you that can close their eyes and see pictures!

As someone with a word-mind, I had the same realization that you had in reverse! When I read books or heard people say that they pictured something (like your apple!) in their minds, I thought it was poetic or something rather than literal. I don't see any pictures in my mind - if you asked me to picture an apple, I could perfectly describe to you what the apple looks like with words, but I don't actually SEE it. I just kind of know what it's supposed to look like?
I do also have the random other parts of the brain playing songs or having memories or feelings while my brain is monologuing, it's just that at any point if my attention was called to one of those other things, I could immediately understand that thing in a verbal way. I don't have that extra translation step, but I've always been jealous of people like you that can close their eyes and see pictures!


dude my inner monologue is insane. it’s just full sentences at all times and it’s just constantly GOIN


i’ve had keyhole surgery! i felt the gas like,, in my body? the few days after my surgery i felt like little bubbles especially in my shoulders and chest which were kinda sore but not as sore as the reason i had surgery! (appendicitis)


It sounds like she's singing at some points while talking again. I think she's going to be introducing a new song or ep soon!! If she is I can't wait!

But then again, that may just be how she talks XD.


wow i missed your videos so much please make more thank you


2:39 tell me why i thought u had actually named your lump

I was expecting something like Liam the lump and not a medical name

I was waiting for her her to say like, Bernard, or something, and then i realised she put the medical term up on the screen


I've been having a similar pain but further down and I'm yet to get and ultrasound to find out what it is. My bloods are all normal


i have a constant running monologue in my head but at the same time i have pictures and vivid noises and physical and emotional feelings. earlier today i was having separation anxiety from my parrot and i could physically feel me touching his feathers and the little pin feathers coming through. at the same time i was picturing this abstract painting i saw earlier and how I’d re-create it in a different medium for a project and my inner monologue was describing it. at the same same time i could hear a song stuck in my head and could picture how it sounded and associate colors with each note. my mind is an ever running wheel and it doesn’t SHUT UP


hi Dodie
just know that, even if the internet is a fricking spooky place,  you are bringing in so much joy that you make it all worth it.
All those videos where you express yourself are extremely helpful and believe it or not, I, for one, actually care about you and hope oh so dearly that you will be happy-or already are idk- because darn you deserve it. Your tunes have saved me from many dark thoughts and helped in a hard time. Girl, if the internet kills, it also saves!
about your health issues, it's all up to you, we believe in you <3!!
I am excited to see your answer to your future self, keep up the good works, because you are great -and never forget that it is okay to feel weak and to be weak... it is alright to feel down!
much love, you are not alone


I had keyhole surgery recently and you really don't have to be scared. I was so anxious, i pooped 5 times before the surgery and when I woke up I felt so FINE, it almost creeped me out. I was like WHY DO I FEEL OK?<br>I'm not saying you should get it btw, it's your body, so don't let anyone tell you what or what not to do ❤

I had keyhole surgery recently and you really don't have to be scared. I was so anxious, i pooped 5 times before the surgery and when I woke up I felt so FINE, it almost creeped me out. I was like WHY DO I FEEL OK?
I'm not saying you should get it btw, it's your body, so don't let anyone tell you what or what not to do ❤


wait you don’t have an inner monologue???  omg

also it’s great to see you back here i’ve missed your ramblings :)


I thought it was funny when she said it must be so convenient for ppl with internal monologues to share their feelings bc that’s exactly why i do it. For small actions like thirst and different activities i don’t have to think out my thoughts. I just kinda... do. But for anything that’s not basic action I think like i’m speaking to someone else. That way I can decide whether my thoughts make sense to another person. I understand myself, but the extra layer of “talking it out” helps me sort it all out. like I’d think “I’m so sad and I think it’s because of this..” or “I saw this dog today that you would love”. Like most things i wanna day or wish i could say has already been “said” once in my head. Is this what all internal monologue ppl feel like? Do your thoughts talk to other ppl of your choosing or do y’all just talk to yourself?


you said a lot of important and interesting things in this video but my brain is just YOU LOOK SO PRETTY HAIR AND MAKEUP IS GSGHSGSGSHGSH


It's so good to see you back. Once again, you're incredibly Human and relatable. You do sound like a friend or big sister that would make you aware of all kind of troubles, but always in a benevolent and empathetic way.You are a lovely person. You make me feel better and defuse what needs to be, you calm me down. Listening to you is a pleasure and a good way to start my day. Always trust things will get better. And always continue sharing you art, not only the music in itself is good but what you express in your lyrics is a medication against the blues and every low point.
And oh my, I remember your 22 yo video, and that's already so long ago ?? Have a nice one anyway ❤


Okay, I had keyhole surgery when I was 13, and I knew they blew up my stomach a bit but I didn't know they blew it up THAT BIG WTF. But in terms of where does the air go, sometimes there's a little left over inside and it just kinda...ends up causing mild discomfort in your shoulders for a couple of days? I think? I think that's what happened to me. It somehow dissipated after a few days though. It's all kinda blurry, it was ten years ago. But I hope , whatever happens with your appointment, that you end up with the best choice for you and your body!


Hey Dodie, I did some online research on the thinking process (because you made me curious), and I found an article about it.

“In his years of studying the inner workings of people’s minds, Hurlburt has come up with five categories of inner experiences: inner speaking, which comes in a variety of forms; inner seeing, which could feature images of things you’ve seen in real life or imaginary visuals; feelings, such as anger or happiness; sensory awareness, like being aware of the scratchiness of the carpet under your feet; and unsymbolised thinking, a trickier concept to get your head around, but essentially a thought that doesn’t manifest as words or images, but is undoubtedly present in your mind.”

You know, I am a ‘written thinker’ most of the time, but, depending on my mental state (human, mammal or reptile consiousness...long story), I tend to go more visual or emotional in my thinking patterns. I think it’s normal to not think in written/spoken format, because, when people are asked how they think, they’re gonna say ‘spoken’ or ‘written’ because that’s probably the only thing we can describe as a process. It’s otherwise trying to describe the taste of water. It’s water, and there’s no description for the taste of water, so we say ‘it tastes like nothing’ because we are either taught that way, or because we simply don’t have the wordst to describe it.

Anyway, here’s the article: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20190819-what-your-inner-voice-says-about-you

I hope you read this, and that it might help you a bit (because it helped me a bit too!)

Lots of love!


Oooooof, really glad they found what was causing your pain!


Everything in my mind is words and it’s so frustrating sometimes. Like yeah, it’s a lot easier to analyze myself because I can hear everything ya know, but my anxiety is so much worse because of it. It’s like I have a song playing all the time (ADHD) and my feelings I can’t put into words accurately, and when I think of conversations I’ve had with people it’s like I can hear their voice in my head and it’s so bad for my anxiety. It’s honestly cool in some ways because I I can think in equations too, so if I want to visualize something I do the math for the object in my head and it’s like from blueprints to 3D diagrams.


yay! i’m so happy you’ve finally found what has been causing your pain, also i just wanted to say that i love going through your videos because your voice just absolutely calms me down


Your thoughts about inner monologues is exactly the same as what I thought when I found out about it shdnjsnsjj


Okay wait this just confused me bc when I first heard that thing about internal monologues I was like that's weird but I definitely have one but then hearing you describe the way your thoughts are is like wait I have that too so like my thoughts sometimes jump around like that and I have non-word thoughts but I also have a running monologue in my head and I didn't realize that I had both until right now


I have problems with my gallbladder too and it feels like you’re being stabbed for hours on end. Genuinely think if I have children one day it will be less painful