dodie: talking about something serious but then kinda sings something <br>me: squints shes doing it again

dodie: talking about something serious but then kinda sings something
me: squints shes doing it again

yes! Been scrolling for ages trying to find someone talking about this 😂

Okay that'd be cool but at the same time I hope that it's really just her because that's often how I speak and so same

yay yay!! I noticed too! This is eXCITING!!!

Gus Rodrigues I’m glad we all agree she’s Up To Something™


dodie: please don't listen to advice i gave when i was 20<br>me: has been following her advice since i was 13

dodie: please don't listen to advice i gave when i was 20
me: has been following her advice since i was 13


Dodie is like, aesthetically pleasing to the eye even though she has that “messy” look

i have never related to anything more in my life!


Hearing her talk about how she thinks about her problems and how shes dealing with them was really therapeutic and made me feel a lot less alone.  I already knew this was true but we’re all just huge messes.  She really made it a lot clearer to me than anyone ever has that its okay to be a mess and that your doing better than you think.


Me (not a doctor): "Sounds like the gallbladder."
Dodie 1,5 min later: "I have a lump on my gallbladder."
Me: Holy shit! Am I Dr House?

Dodie: "If you have a running monologue you can probably write down everything it's saying."
My inner voice: "Nah, I'm a fast talker and Ellen writes way too slowly for that."


when you said you said “it has a name” i thought you meant the lump and i want expecting you to name it nancy or jane or something

Love the way your brain works...ricocheting from one thought to the next.  It's delightful and endearing (at least from the outside looking in).  Love it when you make these kinds of videos (but no pressure).  It's been a while...any resolution on the pain thing?

nancy and jane are my first and middle names, that's wild

I'm so releaved that someone else thinks the exact same way as me I thought I was crazy 🤣

we ALL expected that. I was like "of course it has a name—oh. oh like, a scientific name. well alright"

omg same but hiw about name it: ompa lumpa

Call it Mrs Extravaganza Higginbotham because why the fuck not

doddlevloggle i’m getting boris kinda vibes. aka it needs to be removed asap

my friend had a tumour and named it karen lmao

@jeje defo a bertha ... no offence to berthas

doddlevloggle bumply bc it sounds like Bentley and idk

@doddlevloggle I thought the same thing lol My friend named her tumour Fred. I suggest the name George, and second the suggestion of Andy.

@doddlevloggle Given it's technical name, surely you can call it Adam? Seems appropriate as Eve supposedly came from Adam's side and now Adam is kinda almost in your side. :-)

@doddlevloggle since you're a b99 fan we kinda have to go with balthazar after colt's mumps lump

@doddlevloggle I say it should be "Andy", as sort of an abbreviation of Adenomymatosis

You know I need to say Lumpy mcLumpface now, right? right

@doddlevloggle Jodie, the lump of dodie? (bad lump ò,o)


3:43 Dodie, you lied to us. You said over 2 years ago you weren’t hiding any more lyrics in your videos, and yet that is definitely the beginning of Special Girl.

3:43 Dodie, you lied to us. You said over 2 years ago you weren’t hiding any more lyrics in your videos, and yet that is _definitely_ the beginning of Special Girl.


As someone who has an internal monologue, trust me it doesn't help you with speech. I'm always saying something and having to stop sentences to change a word that isn't good enough. Similarly, even though I can construct sentences in my head, in writing I scribble a lot of words out because, as I'm writing them, I come up up with a better one.

Idk I find I'm very articulate and can word things well. But writing I'm exactly the same!

saammmeee!! for me it was mainly when i was in school at the same time as being dyspraxic(shit hand eye coordination) so i had awweeful hand writing, i had to have someone write stuff for me in exams. like i would have to verbally say every word and bit of punctuation. and dyslexia didnt help aha

This is me! <3 I have to form the sentence structure in my head before you say it. Usually pretty easy but more difficult if I feel under pressure or out of my depth.


Dodie: Running monologue...

Me: wait... doesn't everyone have that.

@Eva D. Yes it effects mine as well. I really can't shut it off. Podcasts do help but I often find my mind going off on a tangent regarding something said in the podcast and my monologue just continues on forever. It's not fun.

@Aarshika Pradhan Yeesss samme although It happened in an exam the other day.... I got kicked out :( I took the exam in a private room. Its like a superpower but it comes with a price...

Eva D. Yessss me too, sometimes my head is so annoyingly cramped but empty at the same time that I can’t think when I am thinking lol, you know what I mean. @estella  It does effect sleep a lot but for me it’s not always. It’s just when I am having stressful days

estella ik this isn’t them but as someone with a running monologue at least for me it definitely affects my sleep. I had a lot of trouble sleeping because my head was alway too full (but also too empty at the same time if that makes sense?) so I started listening to podcasts to fill it up and block out thoughts. Now I have to watch videos to sleep because just words aren’t filling/stimulating enough to quiet my head

@Aarshika Pradhan That's kinda dope, I mean, does it effect sleeping at all? I can't sleep when i think

@soup bug i actually thought none else had that and i was being crazy on my own lolol. Its not really like a superpower though its more like a constant ramble in your head a train of thought that has a voice kind of? It can be annoying because there is never a quiet moment and if there is a quiet moment it means i am dissociating so badly that my brain cant send messages to my body so i have to talk to my self. like lets say i have to wash the dishes, if i am dissociating i will, out loud, tell my self "now, take the scrubber and dip it into the soap" and talk myself through the whole process. Basically it can drive you crazy either way

I don't understand how you guys can do that. Like, I don't have a running monologue. That seems like a super power to me. Idk, I don't understand that. Like I can have a conversation in my head with myself. But then I come back to it and change something. I've edited this comment a few times just to add on to it. Also, I can't see the apple in my head which kinda sucks but not really if that makes any since

I have about 30 running monologues, 20 songs and 3 musicals running through my head at once.

No I'm like Dodie.... It's just a random mess of words and stuff


3:42 when you realise she's singing 'special girl' and none of us knew yet

yes i was looking for this comment abahaha


dodie on gas and air: this is not something i can put online
also dodie: puts it online

dodie on gas and air: this is not something i can put online
also dodie: *puts it online*


I was rewatching this video now that her debut album came out, and i realised that she has been putting hints of the songs of the album in this video haha


people who think in coherent sentences: wow im hungry, im going to make a burger versus me, a person who doesnt think in coherent sentences:  mm   b o r g o r


my heart literally aches, i have never connected so deeply with another mind before, i wish i could spill my head out to you because i know you would also be feeling the same pain, every time i watch your videos it brings me to tears solely because i walk away feeling tinest bit of comfort knowing i am really not alone :( <3


"The Noise is a man unfiltered and without a filter a man is just chaos walking"

The thoughts thing makes me think of a book trilogy called Chaos Walking by Patrick Ness they're brilliant (would recommend) and there's this thing called the Noise which is basically people's thoughts. But like you said thoughts don't tend to be one coherent sentence so the Noise is made up of images of memories or ideas or imaginings and there's also colour in it to reflect the mood of people and layers of sentences all at once. It has a kind of physical presence so it can change shape and be used as a weapon which is explored later on it the books. Its all layers and layers of things so most of it gets lost especially in whole towns and villages the sound of people's thoughts are overwhelming and unbearable.

Its hard to describe but I would recommend a look at the books if you haven't all ready.

yes! these are my favourite books ever in the whole world and I cry a lot every time I read monsters of men :)

@Amanda Murphy I don't know... A Wrinkle In Time's readaption scarred me with flying lettuces.

@random_user I always imagined Hailee Steinfeld as Viola though.. honestly I'm interested to see what they do with it.

omg they are my favourite books ever :)))

I love them so much and am afraid for the movie adaption.

Yes!!! Chaos Walking has to be one of my most cherished series.

we had to read the knife of never letting go in english & i love it


maybe it's just me but it feels so weird seeing Dodie back again on YouTube, almost feels unnatural haha

Funny, I'm the complete opposite haha. Only yesterday I was craving a sit down chatty Dodie video and went in search of some old ones because it's been too long 😭

@doddlevloggle THANK YOU DODIE for sharing this goodness 😊 I'm glad to see you're back, I'd forgotten how much I missed the presence of your videos! But also completely respect your distance from the internet ♥ And I can totally relate to the thinking process thing, my brain works the same way as yours and I also just discovered recently that some people's thoughts exist as monologues/narrators. - crazy!

maybe that's why I watched this on 1AM, as soon as I got to YouTube

@Amanda Lynn I feel that lol the need of 2015 is when little 8th grade me found dodie making vedas and rocker hair tutorials and repeating all the songs and covers of hers wishing for an ep or album!!!! I love love love Dodie's growth, and it's so odd, just turned 18 and thinking about how close I am to the age she was when I started watching her. Okay I'm rambling lol okayyy

@doddlevloggle unnatural maybe a little, but so...longed for? Idk how to explain it. But watching this gave me loft bed chit chat vibes circa 20..18? 17? I dunno man, time n stuff, nostalgia n shit. Love you!


"I have been itching for big change"<br>That statement didn't age well lol

"I have been itching for big change"
That statement didn't age well lol

I read that at the same time she said it😂 that was wack


I like how you call anesthesia "turning you off" like you're a robot lol


When she was talking about how people think, I sometimes feel like I got the exact opposite thing. I have to formulate all of my sentences perfectly in my head, repeat words when I pronounce them wrong (in my brain) and all that. Since age 12 I pretty much haven't have a thought in the first person, but always feel like someone's listening to my thoughts and I'm talking to them.<br>Does anyone know what I mean, or am I being weird?

When she was talking about how people think, I sometimes feel like I got the exact opposite thing. I have to formulate all of my sentences perfectly in my head, repeat words when I pronounce them wrong (in my brain) and all that. Since age 12 I pretty much haven't have a thought in the first person, but always feel like someone's listening to my thoughts and I'm talking to them.
Does anyone know what I mean, or am I being weird?

Crystal Kohout <br>I spent like 40 seconds reading that comment, I wouldn't have done anything more productive if this comment didn't exist, don't worry

Crystal Kohout
I spent like 40 seconds reading that comment, I wouldn't have done anything more productive if this comment didn't exist, don't worry

I actually think I get what you mean, or perhaps I am reading this totally differently in which case, ignore this. Sometimes when I am just thinking random thoughts to myself, even though I have an inner monologue, I will like say a word wrong in my mind and then I have to correct it, still in my mind, even though I know that I am the only one listening to my own thoughts. I don't exactly think someone else is there and listening, it's just that if I were to say these thoughts aloud I know how embarrassed I would get if it came out like how it had originally sounded in my mind. So in a way, maybe the voice inside my head is like a different version of me helping me create these thoughts and I am the one who corrects them? <br>I don't know, this actually got super confusing even as I wrote it. If none of this makes sense or even relates to a thing you said, please disregard this and I apologize for wasting your time.

I actually think I get what you mean, or perhaps I am reading this totally differently in which case, ignore this. Sometimes when I am just thinking random thoughts to myself, even though I have an inner monologue, I will like say a word wrong in my mind and then I have to correct it, still in my mind, even though I know that I am the only one listening to my own thoughts. I don't exactly think someone else is there and listening, it's just that if I were to say these thoughts aloud I know how embarrassed I would get if it came out like how it had originally sounded in my mind. So in a way, maybe the voice inside my head is like a different version of me helping me create these thoughts and I am the one who corrects them?
I don't know, this actually got super confusing even as I wrote it. If none of this makes sense or even relates to a thing you said, please disregard this and I apologize for wasting your time.


DODIE, about thoughts being all over the place: PLEASE read the knife of never letting go by Patrick Ness!!!! He does it in such an unusual messy way

I read it really recently and I thought of it while watching this too!

@Radioactive Dreamer its a book but it might be on audible or a library app somewhere!

Is it a book or is it somewhere on an app? I'm curious ^^


The lyrics, "You blow me up like a big balloon" just got real.

@Pineapple Zach true also ahahahaha banana

@Dihara J yeah that's the way of youtube comments. Someone else did it a day after me and has more likes than me. They know how to spell "blew" so I think they deserve it. Also it had better joke with it. But that's not the point. The point is youtube comments are weird. You might think your comment is great but some guy who said "banana" has the most likes.

I commented pretty much the same thing and I got like one like ahhh lol

@Pineapple Zach i admire your bravery to stand by your mistakes

@Pineapple Zach shhh there is this nice feature called edit comment noone has to know 🤫😅

@Paula nope I said "blow" instead of "blew" I deserve nothing.


So I have aphantasia, which means I can't see things in my head or "mind's eye" at all. I think in a constant inner monologue, like stream of consciousness bullshit that I for sure wish I could turn off. It blew my mind that people think in the abstract. Sometimes I will have the feeling that I just had an idea, like a complete epiphany moment, but if I dont say it verbally in my head it will literally disappear and I cannot for the life of me bring it back. So it's not so much that mind reading would be abstract for me, but more like there would be no beginning or end to the thought because my brain just keeps going.

Rylee Jane Yeah, we are all just collages of the favorite parts of other people

@Cookie Comment yeah, it's really weird to think that there are different ways to imagine! I cannot watch youtube videos or listen to music without repeating the things the video or music is saying, otherwise I'll start thinking of something else entirely subconsciously, and I'll lose track of what's really happening. Honestly, thinking in abstract images sounds much preferable, but I suppose we all want what we cant have!

@TodallyMad oh man, I always assumed I dealt with those things in the same way as everybody else. I absolutely feel dread or excitement and everything in between, but it is entirely felt through senses, and emotions. I'd say, usually, my emotions have no words attached, it is just the clenching of hands and crying and anything else I might do. If my emotions are a result of something I sense, I might have some thoughts to accompany things, like I'm angry about an injustice or I'm watching a sad movie. For things that I need to come to terms with, I would describe it as an actual court room in my head. It is just a constant stream of thoughts, sometimes conflicting, that oftentimes lead to an eventual conclusion, if possible. It's hard to describe when you cant imagine it, in the usual sense, but I hope that answered your questions!

Woah that’s insane! I can find an image in my mind, but not being able to do that is interesting

So interesting! I'm interested to know how you deal with emotions/or things that you have to come to terms with - Do  you get a sense of dread or excitement?


dodie! I wanted to let you know your songs mean a lot, I was going through a funny patch with a friend at a camp. I found out we were very different people & not knowing how to dealing with it, I distanced myself from her. It ended up hurting a lot. On the way home on the bus I listened to your song 'arms unfolding' on repeat, every word seemed to completly hit with my situation. It talked about trust lost, walls being built and lastly opening your heart up after being hurt. I listened to your lyrics, and I ended up talking to my friend and explaining how I was feeling. Your songs are quite something ❤ also I know the internet is a bit whacked but we've missed you!!!


Dodie: "I'm itching for* big *change." <br>Later 2020: "there you go! 💁"

Dodie: "I'm itching for* big *change."
Later 2020: "there you go! 💁"


does anyone else feel like they have music or a song playing in the back of ur mind while u go about with stuff, and if it's interrupted or you forget the tune you can't quite think straight until you find it again?


i missed hearing you talk dodie it’s so calming

I bought her audiobook,when I already bought the regular, just to listen to her voice


I literally had my gallbladder removed in August and am so familiar with the pain you described at the beginning. The term "writhing" fits perfectly.  10/10 worst thing I have ever experienced.  Also, I had the same question about the belly bloating, and it does go away. And I do feel loads better.


I've missed hearing you just chat, this felt like a little catch up with a close friend and made me so happy! I hope you're doing well :)


Dodiieee! We have found ourselves in the same position. I’ve had so much pain in my abdomen and I’m worried it’s endometriosis, so I have to have the same surgery to be officially diagnosed bc it’s basically impossible to see endo with any other sort of ultrasound, exam, or scan... I’m TERRIFIED of being put to sleep and someone being in control of my body and I have no clue what’s going on bc I’m on drugs and can’t wake up until they want me to ... WHAT!!!??? I understand where you’re coming from. It makes me feel less alone that you feel this way too. Love you Dodie 💕


The "It's not my fault" is from Special Girl and Before the Line!! ❤

this is actually the one from<br>special girl! the notes are slightly different in before the line

this is actually the one from
special girl! the notes are slightly different in before the line


“you blew me up like a big balloon” the prophecy...

FAR TOO SOON, HOLDING MY BREATH MAKES ME CHOKE

I swear I think she’s known the whole time

took me too long to figure out what song that was ffs

Hayley Oliver red pushing down on the green


I really missed these types of videos, just talking. I’m very happy seeing and hearing you talk about real things.


So I have adhd, and constant monologue is a thing that I have (along with the few odd pictures and fizzled our memories) and in fact talking is kinda difficult at times..? Because my brain is thinking of what I want to say too fast and my mouth can never catch up, so, as I result I write out my thoughts and emotions :> on another note, it’s good to see you and hear you talk like this again, I really missed it, hope you’re doing well!💕💕


Hey Dodie, i had my gallbladder taken out, the air goes out of your shoulder lol, i know how weird that sounds, but it just means u have a lot of pain in your shoulder for the next few days , they say mint tea and different things will help relieve that pain. But id definitely say it is worth getting it out , cause I know how horrific the pain was 😬


Imagine if the song "she" by Dodie was in the POV of her looking in the mirror. Like damn. That would be powerful.

Xx


i had my gallbladder removed! its the best thing i've ever done.


lol i have a running monologue in my head but if i panic, it becomes how dodie describes thinking, its wild


3:31
Is she...
DOROTHY CLARK ARE YOU DOING IT AGAIN???

@_calamari _ that’s her new song SPECIAL GIRL

@_calamari _ it's from special girl!!! (or maybe before the line!)

@_calamari _ AAAAAAAAA DODIE YOU MARVELOUS BEAST! WE KNOW YOUR SCAMS LOVE

@maro dodie made a video before where she revealed that she hid a song in her videos by singing little pieces of the song in parts of a bunch of videos. If you look for "dodie hidden song" I'm sure you'll find it :)

I came to the comments just to find this!!


I hope you’re alright Dodie♥ you’re amazing and you really deserve happiness!


hey dodie my mother got her gallbladder removed 3 years ago. she had a small scar on her tummy but its gone now. she was very afraid as well but she had stones in there and she said the surgery is worth the removal of that pain :) thought I'd past that information to you I hope you consider it love you!!

thank you guys for your replies and stories! 💕

Yeah my mum had the exact same experience!! Defo not as scary once it’s over but I guess that probs isn’t too helpful

my mum got hers removed too !! it’s definitely worth it, i hated seeing her in so much pain and she’s all good now :)

I had my gallbladder removed around 4 months ago. 100% worth it, the pain was unbearable before. Hasn't happened since. I have four little scars but I don't mind in the least. I'm also eating all the same stuff as before, I don't have any sensitivity to fats or anything after the surgery, so don't worry, you might not have to change your diet at all. :)

My grandad had to get his gallbladder removed at <b>74</b> and he had to get the surgery and he’s doing a lot better now that its out :)

My grandad had to get his gallbladder removed at *74* and he had to get the surgery and he’s doing a lot better now that its out :)

Same with my step dad. In terrible pain then the doctors realized something was wrong with the gallbladder. It's way better to get the surgery, even if you have to watch your diet, it's only for a few months


90% of my inner monologue is me having conversations with my internal versions of people I know/knew.<br>Also it makes a lot of sense that some people think more in words and some don't. It probably explains why some people (like me) lean more toward talking/writing as a form of expression and others are more visually artistic or musically inclined

90% of my inner monologue is me having conversations with my internal versions of people I know/knew.
Also it makes a lot of sense that some people think more in words and some don't. It probably explains why some people (like me) lean more toward talking/writing as a form of expression and others are more visually artistic or musically inclined


about the inner monologue- I mean perhaps it’s easier to analyse my thoughts but like.. that then leads to A LOT of overthinking and then getting stuck in my own head lol


I have an extremely clear internal monologue going on but when I’m going through a bout of anxiety or (of course) psychosis/mania its perfect words in sentences but nothing makes sense: “green eyes and ham on a stick” used to be on repeat in my head. Thoughts are weird fam


It's so nice to have you back!!! Crazy how much you've changed and evolved since I last watched your videos, I missed your voice :)


Dodie: “Please don’t listen to anything I say.”<br>Me: B-but. You helped my escape a panic attack.

Dodie: “Please don’t listen to anything I say.”
Me: B-but. You helped my escape a panic attack.

Wow that’s pretty much my reaction to every video dodie publishes too.

IKR i watch her videos since 2014 and in 2017/2018 I started to suffer from pretty bad disassociation, but since she talked about this in her videos i knew what to look for, how to ask for help and wtf was going on up there

Truebluedah that video got me out of anxiety so many times, I know it by heart by now

Truebluedah I like her asmr videos as well! ♥

Kim m. She has an asmr video that helped me with some severe anxiety

Kim m. Probably because she has a very calming atmosphere!!

Me literally sitting here having a meltdown and seeing dodie has a new video. I turned it on and eventually my brain just starts to focus on something else.

Truebluedah how exactly did she do that?


I’ve never had someone describe so perfectly how my thoughts run about, honestly i thought my brain was a little scrambled since nothing’s ever in order. Damn big life realization thank you so much love, it’s a great feeling to know other people think the same way


In the space of like 60 seconds you went from saying "I think I've adapted to change" to "my heart hurts because I thought about change."


i had a rough day. this made me feel happy. thank you Dodie 💜


1) The hospital re-enactment stuff was entertaining, thank you for the ages it took ha

2) 'Mine doesn't!' is a mental illness mood. Exactly the tone my friend and I have when we're going back and forth about our various brain ailments ^^;

3) The whole 'are thoughts words' thing has always bothered me because you know how these kinds of things are spectra? I must be dead centre on this one, lmao. Some of my thoughts are nebulous memories and feelings like you thought the default was, while others are linear and sentence-y, like I'm literally talking to myself or seeing the relevant words. (And yes, the latter does help - especially when I need to describe complex feelings, because sometimes the right word appears on gut instinct, even when logic isn't quite there yet.)

4) I also have a song in my head almost all the time. It's like permanent background radio. It's not like an earworm, because it isn't annoying or distracting - it's just a common background function of my brain.

5) That music sounds so so good. <3<3


dodie's voice has such a power over me, her talking can calm me down instantly (even though she's talking about scary body stuff).


hey so I had about the same-ish thing happen to me? most of my life I had pains in my abdomen and I would vomit very easily and get nauseous. I went to the doctor and they told me I probably had G.E.R.D. but about 3 years ago it got really bad!! I had those unbearable pains!! you think you're fine now, but I promise you when you get your gallbladder removed you'll notice that the pain you thought was no pain is gone. the extra air from keyhole surgery just uh... comes out in farts and burps... it's really embarrassing. I think the only downside of getting my gallbladder removed is that I have to change my diet? (I saw a nutritionist for help). a lot of people have different reactions so you could be fine. the only post surgery negatives I can think of is that you have to have someone help you sit up so that you can go to the bathroom, you can't laugh or else you'll be in immense pain, and you have to keep a ice pack on your abdomen for most of the day. you only have to do this for a month or so. I'm happy I got it removed, but I wish I knew waaayyy earlier so I could've avoided years of pain.


dodie you shine a little light in my days. you are amazing.


So happy to have your smiling face on the internet! Thank you for just existing and making me smile!


I just thought I would come back to the video that helped me figure out what was wrong with me and update you. This video helped me realize that my pain was my gallbladder. My last gallbladder attack I went to the emergency room, where I was given morphine, a CT scan, and ultrasound and they were like, yup it’s your gallbladder. Long story short I had the surgery to remove my gallbladder... I can not even begin to tell you how much better I feel. Yes I have to go to the bathroom more often but that’s better than being in excruciating pain.

And “where does the air go?!” You do burp and fart it out after surgery. If I can do it you can too! 💗 Best thing I’ve ever done for myself.


I don’t know why but listening to Dodie talk about what’s on her mind is so relaxing to me (especially tonight cause my anxiety is PEAKED tonight!) nice to see you tonight Dodie! ☺

Haha wasn’t expecting all this love from the comments. Thank you so much guys, yeah it’s calmed down a bit thank you for the messages 🥰🥰

Same, found this so soothing to watch and listen too. Hope your feeling better.

Yes for me too!! She is so calming and just easy to watch. I'm sorry about your anxiety though I do hope that eases

I get the same effect from watching/listening to Dodie!

I hope you're anxiety has calmed down ❤ good vibes sent your way xx


you are calming and chaos all in one, and boi oh boi have I missed your videos. Bless you! tirrah xx


I swear this video was like therapy for me :)  I loved hearing from dodie again so much omg


It's just kinda of heartwarming seeing people going through similar things that I am going through, but at the same time I am pretty terrified of the idea that this kind of struggle would just go on...


I literally experienced this almost to a T. I literally feel your pain. My life is so much better without a gallbladder and surgery was a breeze and the pain was so minimal compared to the gallbladder attacks.<br>(also the air kind of just escapes. It causes a bit of shoulder pain if you sit upright but it dissipates!)

I literally experienced this almost to a T. I literally feel your pain. My life is so much better without a gallbladder and surgery was a breeze and the pain was so minimal compared to the gallbladder attacks.
(also the air kind of just escapes. It causes a bit of shoulder pain if you sit upright but it dissipates!)


you’re so aware of the internet now, it makes me sad.. it’s clear that you’ve been hurt by it and I just hope it never happens again, I wish you the best, dodie <br>amazing to see you back here<3

you’re so aware of the internet now, it makes me sad.. it’s clear that you’ve been hurt by it and I just hope it never happens again, I wish you the best, dodie
amazing to see you back here<3


Wow, so many already noticed the Special Girl lyrics! And don’t forget about the strings at the end of Sorry, they’re in the video as well (10:10). I really think like 95% of the album were done at the beginning of 2020 and the pandemic forced her to delay everything.

yeah she talked about it before. i think she said that the only things she did after the lockdown was record cool girl and finish recording hate myself


I am definitely a “gotta translate my ideas and thoughts into words” person, but sometimes it feels like you go straight to the words. But like before it’s words it’s always just like wordless thoughts or feelings. You know when u know something but you don’t know how to explain what you know but you know that you know it? Yea like that. The more defined the thought is, the clearer a form it has in my brain, so like it’ll just be a feeling of knowing to like a flashback montage and then like words that link together like a mind map and then like sentences that vaguely describe some aspect of what I’m thinking. Yeah I think I explained that pretty well.


Even though its a little odd to watch you on the youtube again, i still absolutely love your videos! I really hope you are doing well! and wish you the best of luck with everything! :))


Dodie we love your videos <3 Thanks so much for fighting your worries and posting even though it's scary and hard. It was so good to hear from you, you give me hope <3


I had gallstones 😂 I got my gallbladder taken out and I wasn't even hospitalised overnight. I have to use lactose pills and digestion pills every day or else EVERYTHING comes out in a few hours. It's super worth it though. 👍


I don't know how to express how relaxed and happy this video made me feel, thank you for sharing your thoughts, it's very appreciated


You're wonderful! I know it can be stressful and a lot to make videos and be on social media, but whenever you pop in I so appreciate your spirit! Thanks for being you!


dodie we love you, keep going, we believe that you know what's best for you!! 💕


“please don’t listen to what i say”<br>me, spending years following her advice and being shaped into who i am today: oops

“please don’t listen to what i say”
me, spending years following her advice and being shaped into who i am today: oops


ur music makes me happy and everything in between. thank you for writing music that i can relate to. im so so so excited for ur new music


When you were describing your pain I immediately thought it might be your gallbladder because I had the same thing happen to me just over a year ago. I ignored it for a while but, like you, it was unbearable. I had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder and it made me so much better. I had the surgery on a Monday and left the hospital on a Tuesday. It's not a bad procedure at all. Good luck, Dodie. You'll be fine! Also, I didn't need to change up my diet at all. You'll want to avoid fatty foods and such for a month or so but after that your body adapts. I ate like shit before the surgery and I eat like shit today! lol


I missed you so much :( I hope you post more often even if it’s just your random thoughts bc your voice is so calming and the topics you discuss make me feel like I’m talking to a friend


We're so glad you're back Dodie!!! We missed you so much!!!


Not gonna lie, this is one of my most favorite video formats. My brain is very all over the place as well and o love how it feels like we’re friends and just having a chat. I think that everyone needs a friend like Dodie ♡


That sounds like a real tough decision ❤ Best of luck doing what feels right, and don’t feel like you have to decide right now.


These videos of yours are my favorite. I love hearing you talk about your thoughts


Gosh I've missed her so much, her videos are like sitting down with a good friend ❤


I've had my gallbladder removed. My pain  would come every 6 months like you said and then it kept coming more and more and sooner and sooner and I pulled the trigger and they kind of removed it in the middle of an attack as an emergency. I've had no such pains at all since. Some people report weight loss, but anyone I know that has had it removed has reported the opposite, including myself. <br>Def look into digestive enzymes and pre/probiotics for afterwards and I promise you'll be fine! AND PAIN FREE!

I've had my gallbladder removed. My pain  would come every 6 months like you said and then it kept coming more and more and sooner and sooner and I pulled the trigger and they kind of removed it in the middle of an attack as an emergency. I've had no such pains at all since. Some people report weight loss, but anyone I know that has had it removed has reported the opposite, including myself.
Def look into digestive enzymes and pre/probiotics for afterwards and I promise you'll be fine! AND PAIN FREE!

@A Sentimental Gal I was taking digestive enzymes for a bit but stopped and so far everything has been just fine with pre & probiotis, a daily vitamin, d3, b2, magnesium, & CO q10. (the b2, magneisum, and CO Q10 are all for my migraines.)

Huh. I hadn't really thought about it but I think my 'default' weight since I had mine removed is slightly lower. And no paaaaaainnnnn, and no noticeable changes in my digestion. My pain happened about once or twice a month by the time I had the surgery.

Once I got mine out my weight sky rocketed... I had it taken out around 3ish years ago and I’ve gained around 75 pounds. It’s not a good feeling.

cassandralyne digestive enzymes are a must!! I also had my gallbladder removed and they work wonders

@Ashley anything fried or real heavy with fat I cannot tolerate, but everything else seems to be fine for me and I had mine removed about 4 years ago.

getting mine removed was the best decision i’ve ever made! i personally woke up and was almost pain free, but i’m sure it was different for everyone. with it removed there’s only a few foods i can’t eat. ham and fried foods are the only ones that seem to bother me.

@getalifelauren You'll do great. It is scary and a little discomfort afterwards but it is sooooo worth it!

I had my attacks every month for 6 months and only when I got pancreatitis did it get removed. The GP couldn't diagnose it for months! The keyhole was completely fine and the only pain after was some random shoulder pains that are from being blown up! Also not having stomach muscles. No other pain whatsoever!

I’m getting mines out soon, I can’t wait to not suffer with the pains😭

It was the same for me.  I put it off for years because it was infrequent and I hate doctors and didn't want to have surgery, but then it started happening more and more often.  To the point where it was happening multiple times a week and I just couldn't sleep any more for the fear that it'd start hurting.  So I finally decided to get the surgery.  Not gonna lie, it was scary and not a fun experience, and then for a week afterwards I could barely get out of bed and move from the pain. But since it healed up I haven't had that searing pain that would keep me up at nights.  The only side effect is sometimes I do have digestive issues. But even so, the only thing I regret is not doing it sooner.


so glad to see you again! you seem really happy in this video and it makes me happy :)


The gallbladder story has been my exact life for the last few months, down to the A&e visits and 111 phone calls 😭 I'm getting the same surgery, tons of people live without gallbladders and you can eat a normal diet 😊 I've also never had surgery so I'm a bit wary too but it's really short and safe and it has essentially no risks so you will be okay 😊


this video is so calming and refreshing and I had just missed listening to you dodie


This feels like a proper look into your mind, and it's amazing!


I missed you posting videos like this so much. Sorry you’re in pain and I hope it gets better! 💛


My mum has had her gall bladder out and she's said it was the best decision she ever made. Once she recovered she hasn't had any pain since and has been able to eat anything she wants to


I’m so proud of you dodie!!!! Everything you’ve accomplished and the growth you are inhabiting mentally and emotionally. We’re all a mess. But a mess moving forward. Always happy to see a video from u


So nice to see your face Dodie! Your presence is a light and a gift! 💕


me: has a panic attack
dodie music: gives me a warm hug and tells me everything’s gonna be okay

me: *has a panic attack*
dodie music: *gives me a warm hug and tells me everything’s gonna be okay*


THE APPLE THING
 I was talking to my friends about this a bit ago, i genuinely cannot imagine being able to see an apple in your mind, I just see nothing? I was gobsmacked to find out you’re supposed to see things without your eyes, it just never occurred to me, but anyway yeah :)

for the running monologue thing
I have coherent thoughts most of the times, like my thoughts interrupt each other and sometimes I don’t understand what theyre trying to say, and also I happen to stutter in my thoughts? I do ik real life but I feel like that’s not normal? Anyway :)


omg the plants add a whole new aesthetic and i am totally here for it!! ahah on another note, incredibly proud of you for the long and hard journey you've been on and can't wait for your video about being 25! lol i honestly need to go ahead order your gift and send it to you ;))


Love you so much! These lil videos are so wonderful, you are so wonderful! Can’t wait to see you perform live one day!


dodie! I had my gallbladder removed when I was 13 after having so much gallbladder pain for two years before not knowing what the pain was until I had gallbladder attacks. It was scary but worth it, the pain still comes but it is like a dull memory of your body experiencing pain, (best way I could describe it is when people get amputations and have fantom limb pain) it scares me that sometimes I don’t feel physically whole but the pain is so not worth it, i can eat normally despite the fact I can’t eat a lot of takeaways but hey, that’s probably best :) I hope you decide to get it - it could change your life! Xx


Dodie: “sO much”
Me: flashbacks to arms unfolding hidden message

Dodie: “sO much”
Me: *flashbacks to arms unfolding hidden message*

She does the same thing at 3:43 with ‘it’s not my fault’.


Hey!! I got my gallbladder removed in June and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I’d have these “attacks” of the worst pain I had ever felt. I’d have it every week like clock work, and I saw many doctors and it turned out I had gallstones! It scared the shit out of me to get surgery but I’m so thankful that it happened.


I had my gallbladder taken out via keyhole 2 and a half years ago. Of course I was a little nervous with being put to sleep but the majority of people are too. When I woke up in recovery they gave me chance to come round fully and after a while they let me get dressed and go home with some painkillers. I was in pain for a few days after but it wasn't unbearable. Honestly you'll be fine and you don't have anything to worry about x


i just feel like you and i would be good friends, dodie. keep on keeping on. 👍🏼


having a body is such a hassle why can’t i just be a snail on the pavement on a rainy day

i want to be a brain floating in a vat with a robo body i can tap into when i want to do stuff

You don't want that. You seriously don't want that. Maybe read Uzumaki?

@Kaylyn Pratt yes but hopefully the snail is at peace.

Existence is difficult but we all had purpose.

Elle oh no :( i’m really sorry you had to witness that

I saw a snail get trampled on in front of the university library on a rainy day. I wanted to save it but the lunch rush came and the students weren't aware.

I was so sad that day. :(


I am glad Dodie is uploading again! She is such an inspiration to small Youtubers like me. 🙂


I really like when you just sit down and talk with us.


Hi Dodie, I just discovered you and I just wanted to thank you for being so exposed and honest and a mess at the same time. You don’t seem to be a mess because of drug abuse, or greed or just being a mean, hate filled person it’s just the lot you’ve been dealt and your doing your best to deal with it and your allowing people to see parts of your journey and you have something really special and unique. You have the capacity to be incredibly honest which is rare, very helpful to people and entertaining. This really is a super power. If you lean hard on this power I think you will fly! Peace and Love. Good Luck and Thank you.


i’ve missed you so much i just cried over this video for no reason. you bring me strenght because you remaind me of myself and i every time i watch you i have hope that one day i’ll be fine (or more fine than today at least)


When you’re having a breakdown, full blown tears streaming down your face and dodie posts a video as simplistic as this one and you instantly calm down and feel like you can breathe again. Wow.

completely fucking same scenario mate, she's so calming.


Interesting to hear the thoughts thing from your perspective! When I picture an apple it is not a color, memory, or anything I can see. I can only do that in dreams. I have a running monologue in my head, but it doesn't help me find things out about myself because it's mostly circular. I just repeat the same thoughts (usually acting out a dialogue with a friend or family member or co-worker that I'm thinking about OR my brain trying to convince me to do something I've been putting off) and it just repeats and repeats and repeats until I write it down and leave it on the page (journaling).


Wow I haven’t watched a dodie video in a few years I think, but this was so genuine and nice, I didn’t realize how much I missed her personality.


I've been having a really similar problem with pain and my doctor thinks it's to do with my gallbladder! Getting my scan tomorrow. If it is something with my gallbladder and if they give me the option for surgery I'll probably take it, because the pain is so bad. But it's your choice at the end of the day! You do whatever you think is right for you 💚


This video makings me very happy in the way that I relate to how she explains her thoughts.


Firstly I think we could talk for hours. I digress..

KEYHOLE SURGERY: It's a surgical miracle. So much less invasive than regular surgery. Its very rare that you'll have to stay in hospital for longer than one night after having it and you won't be in immediate pain. They'll give you plenty of pain relief and the pain you will have (which will be easy compared to what you've experienced) will be when you move or poop (nobody tells you how hard pooping is after abdominal surgery - THEN you may need those laxatives). The worst part for me personally was coming round from anaesthetic, which only lasts a few hours anyway and affects people in different ways.

INTERNAL MONOLOGUE: I read an article the other day about the majority of people being able to think in their heads in full sentences but a small percentage aren't able to do this at all. Found it very fascinating. Apparently most people aren't aware that the other kind exist and when they meet and realise this both are in awe. I need to sit and chat to someone who can't think in full sentences and work out how they make lists or get anything done in their life?!?

@Heulwen Sault-Jones When I read I don't think the words though! Again, I just kind of absorb and visualize.. Sometimes when I read a difficult more archaic text I will have to read it out and process, so I do somewhat understand... Interesting! Thank you for sharing ((:

@Saniyayaya Hi, non-internal-monologue here, I do hear the words in my head when I read! Reading and thinking are two different things, reading spells the words out in front of me so I just can't not read it 'aloud'. It's like Dodie says in her video that there's no words in her mind apart from song lyrics: as long as the words already exist (in a song, in a book) I hear them! They just don't exist in my own mind, so whatever my mind is coming up with I'm not thinking it in words.
PS: but I do talk a lot aloud when I'm alone, and I think that's because sometimes the wordless buzz in my mind gets too loud (it's like white noise) and I have to channel it and sort it out by talking aloud--because talking aloud is precisely the only time I can word my thoughts!! My brain can't do it on its own!
PPS: however I have a friend who doesn't  hear the words in their head when they read. BUT they think with an internal monologue (I still don't know how that's even POSSIBLE). so I guess there's no rule and the brain is just a bitch lol

@Saniyayaya Hi, non-internal-monologue here, I *do* hear the words in my head when I read! Reading and thinking are two different things, reading spells the words out in front of me so I just can't not read it 'aloud'. It's like Dodie says in her video that there's no words in her mind apart from song lyrics: as long as the words already exist (in a song, in a book) I hear them! They just don't exist in my own mind, so whatever my mind is coming up with I'm not thinking it in words.
PS: but I do talk a lot aloud when I'm alone, and I think that's because sometimes the wordless buzz in my mind gets too loud (it's like white noise) and I have to channel it and sort it out by talking aloud--because talking aloud is precisely the only time I can word my thoughts!! My brain can't do it on its own!
PPS: however I have a friend who doesn't  hear the words in their head when they read. BUT they think with an internal monologue (I still don't know how that's even POSSIBLE). so I guess there's no rule and the brain is just a bitch lol

Stormie Snazz dude I do that all the time when I was younger I would get looked at funny because I would suddenly make a very large facial reaction to something that wasn’t even said out loud lnao

I can’t tell if I think in full sentences or in a jumble or both
maybe it is both because of my adhd
who knows
it’s really interesting though
Because I know sometimes I don’t think about the emotion I’m feeling like when you cry you don’t think about words it’s just a feeling
But like in conversation people (or at least I do) plan out what to say in their head

I learned a couple of years ago that some people can't think in images at all. There was this girl in my class who was realizing the opposite because all her life she's never visualized anything in her mind. Thinking is a strange thing

i find it INSANE that people think in words/sentences like WTF. your brain must be so much more easy to deal with??? talking is SUCH a hassle for me i wonder if this is a reason as to why i always feel like most people are way more eloquent and less awkward in conversations than me

i feel like i do both? is that weird? like i have both an internal monologue and a jumble of emotions and thoughts.

I don’t understand how people who don’t think in sentences read like do you not hear the word in your head??? What????

@Natalie woah! So do you not ever have conversations with yourself? Because in my head there are usually two or more different voices that discuss things, weigh pros and cons, argue, etc. Do you experience that, or is it like a bunch of broken sentences and pictures and stuff?

@Stormie Snazz I feel like I'm an in-betweeny on this! Like I never think in my head what I'm gonna say or type, it just comes out! But I do think in sentences sometimes, but I find it jarring and loud and worry I've said it out loud lol.

@MarbleGray I imagine when you read (not out loud) you think the words your reading? That's what an internal monologue is for me. I can see and hear the words I'm saying in my head. If I was writing an essay I would stop to think of a sentence in my head first and then write it. My fingers also typo in a bit of an autocorrect format too but my head reads it as it type hah x

Absolutely fascinating replies guys. I ask people all the time if they have an internal monologue since reading an article about it in hope that I find someone who doesn't. Apparently it's rarer to find people who don't x

@Stormie Snazz I thought people just had emotion, images and little bursts of words. I can keep a monologue but only if Im trying. Otherwise its a circus...with music playing ofc

I also really want to have a conversation with someone with internal monologue! Like, before I typed that out, I thought about how I should word it and what I should say, so I also find it fascinating that others don't experience that !

I think in feelings, so no full sentences for me! I wonder how someone can do that? Like as I am typing I don't think out the word beforehand, it feels like my fingers are on autopilot with maybe a very slight loading of words. (:


The big change feeling! Thank you for understanding, I’ve been trying to describe it for so long and no one else knows about it!


you're giving off good energy in this video, happy for u :)


This video is literally a representation of what is going on in my mind all the time!


Wtf dodie get out of my head. I feel like everything you say I'm like "omg me" and I feel like we literally have the same brain. I've never met anyone that understands me but you put everything I think into words  it's so weird. But thank you so much. I love you ❤


AND the fact that some people legitimately DO NOT have an internal dialogue like you're speaking about near the end of this video is absolutely mind blowing. I just assumed everyone did.

@Amira Muhammed This is exactly the same for me!

i have an inner monologue and it's quite nice, because i can tell the difference between if it's myself talking or my depression by what pronouns are being used. i use i for myself in my head, while my depression uses you

For me I have multiple monologues in my head, where I'll 'hear' a little voice at the background and a more prominent one. I'll also have thoughts as feeling, where I don't say or think anything but I'll have a feeling that says it all, especially when I'm emotional so it's hard to translate them into words.

@Laurence Long red, i can remember facts but i can't picture my door, like if you asked me to draw an apple i could but i can't see one in my head

@Sophie louise plenty of people have this condition! it's called aphantastia. my mum and my best friend have it too

Sophie louise what colour is your front door?

@cassandralyne Yeah its so crazy, i can only 'see' things when im dreaming, but not when im conscious!

@Sophie louise That is honestly so unreal to me. I can perfectly see it in detail color adn everything, and I'm constantly talking to myself in my head. How crazy.

Another one, kinda similar, is that i just recently realized that most people can imagine things and 'see' the picture when they close their eyes! I see absolutely nothing, for example if you are asked to imagine an apple most people can 'see' the apple, i physically can't imagine one at all!

I assumed the complete opposite to you!  Very occasionally I have the internal monologue maybe once a month but I don't like it, it's too formal in my mind but it does make it easier to talk to people.

Yeah, that blew my mind too when she posted about it on Twitter the other day. I always assumed everyone had that because I can't imagine not thinking that way.


the style of this video is so entertaining and refreshing to watch, love u dodie, missed u


This sounds exactly like what happened to me! Randomly one day when I was 22 I started having this EXTREME pain in my ribcage area. It felt like someone had a corset on me but was excruciating, incessant pain. Nothing helped - standing, sitting, walking, curling up in a ball, taking pain relievers - nothing. I just had to hope I could fall asleep and kill some time before it wore off. Turns out it was a dairy allergy. I drank so much milk as child that once I went to college and stopped consuming it, my body lost the enzyme to break it down. Now every time I have more than a few tablespoons of dairy, I get the same ( almost immediate) excruciating pain for hours and hours. Best of luck on your journey to healing, my love! <3


I love you dodie!!<br>Be brave and perseverant!

I love you dodie!!
Be brave and perseverant!


My thoughts and mind are like this too, Dodie 💖


I hope all goes well with the specialist! Thoughts and prayers are with you and yours! 💕


Dodie, I have this SAME THING, and my doctors don't KNOW WHAT IT IS. How did you find the lump on your Galbladder??


Lovely seeing you again, I missed you :) I hope you are doing alright

the cat thing; technically, yeah you need a garden for cats. (Theoretically) But in a big enough flat and two cats , these little ones can be just as happy. Also, sometimes there are old cats who come into shelters who have always lived in a flat without garden, and they will be given to persons without a garden preferably..so look out for that :)


I love you and your music! You are fantastic, Dodie! Btw. I know that feeling. I need to have a surgery too. I had one before. It's not urgent in my case, but it's inevitable. So, why do I wait??! lol All the best!!


tell me why “cut me open right now, blow me up like a balloon” would actually be a good song lyric?

"you blew me up like a big balloon far too soon"


I had 2 cats in an apartment with a tiny balcony and it was no issue so go find yourself a cat! Missed your fun rambles! Glad to see you are still around! Xx


I can't imagine not having a continuous monologue in one's mind 🤠


this is so surreal but you've always been an older sister figure to me i've watched you since middle school and i just turned 18 and i just have so much thanks to give u for all the advice i've collected from watching your videos growing up


I had my gallbladder removed at 21 and i am so so glad I did. The slight ache from keyhole surgery was NOTHING in comparison to the pain the gallstones gave me. So I'd always try and encourage people to get the surgery xx


she is singing some stuff here, i feel like she's hiding another song..


I’ve had my gall bladder removed and it was fine! Since there’s no more bladder, there won’t be pain anymore. Don’t be scared :) you’ll be fine


i love seeing her grow.. makes me want to as well


I had my gall bladder taken out too after months of so much pain. My life got a hundred times better after it. Eating wasn't a problem anymore. Hope this will be the same for you. Good luck🥰🤗


it's so exciting that you feel like you're adapting to change dodie, that's SUCH a big step especially for you. Go dodie, woo! It's been nice to hear about your life/ thoughts in this video. My thoughts are quite scattered too and always a song playing... interesting to know that other people's thoughts can run in a monologue lol wtf haha. Have a wonderful day dodie!


Dodie is such a wholesome person. She makes me want to create stuff, I don’t know what specifically but she makes me want to be creative and have fun with it 💛

Yess I feel this too!!💛 I adore her so much  i dont understand how shes real, but it's strange cause part of what makes her so amazing is her genuineness....


GOD i love this video so much it's just thought juice and like. peeking into ur head and shit<br>also im very very excited for your new music and im hoping its gonna be a debut album ???

GOD i love this video so much it's just thought juice and like. peeking into ur head and shit
also im very very excited for your new music and im hoping its gonna be a debut album ???


Also Dodie when you explained your mind/thoughts I related so much, I have a few different songs stuck in my head everyday!


So, I tend to have conversations in my head a lot. Like the whole monologue thing in my head that Dodie mentioned. But it's actually such a struggle to talk out loud for me xD


How can you not love dodieee!! I just wanna give her a big hug 💜💜


“Don’t mess with that stuff”
Me; ok
Also me; dies due to an infected appendix and doesn’t get it removed

Edit; oh, Dodie. I have the running monologue, and boy, is converting feelings into words difficult. Speaking is also hard, I have never spoken a sentence without stuttering.

“Don’t mess with that stuff”
Me; ok
Also me; *dies due to an infected appendix and doesn’t get it removed*

Edit; oh, Dodie. I have the running monologue, and boy, is converting feelings into words difficult. Speaking is also hard, I have never spoken a sentence without stuttering.

Aesha :] well, writing journals and things has gotten easier for me over time. I do it a lot as a form of therapy. But it takes a lot of time for me to get my thoughts out on paper. It takes a lot of practice for me because I have a couple of learning issues that mainly effect my use of language, so it is labour intensive to make the words come out the way I want them to. It’s gotten better over time and I love doing it though. Ya know, I’m always eager for feed back on my writing since it has evolved into me writing stories and such. If you feel like giving me some feed back I think there’s YouTube messaging or something like that. So yeah! 😊

@Aesha : ] I think in a monologue and yes I find it easy to journal, I've basically kept a journal everyday for the past 5 years and find that once I put my thoughts "outloud" onto the paper then it's no longer running around in my brain

@Aesha : ] It's an inner monologue in words, but punctuation is a human construct and I don't experience that, at least in my mind.

Writing down inner monologue ends up in a loop because I can't really think about writing a word and thinking a new thought at the same time. Kind-of like that test where you have to say what colour the text is but the text says a different colour, but with inner monologue. Hard to explain yknow.

Cheese Gaming i wonder, is it pretty easy for you to write journals/ a diary entry then if your thoughts are coherent sentences?? I think kind of like dodie described and personally journalling is really a chore for me sometimes like its not easy for me to write down exactly what im thinking or how i’ve been feeling in coherent sentences hahah

Same here with the monologue thing! I usually write it down but having it come out of my mouth in a sentence is a totally different story.

@GeekJokes same I'll go on a million different tangents as a new thought pops up. It's basically like a sentence in my head, but it can be interrupted with other wordsq/ideas/sentences

Yep same it’s like my mouth can’t keep up with my brain then I just stutter then say nothing

@Lee Wilson its complicated. By "not linear" i mean it's not like a text, even if i think with words.

I'm really shook right now, genuinely do people not think in like normal sentences in order? I need to look into this cause I'm so thrown.

For me its a monologue but its CERTAINLY not linear


i had my gallbladder removed in an emergency surgery in november 2018, i was only like 17 so it was very scary but the recovery afterwards is pretty easy and you will feel SO SO MUCH BETTER, i know it's probably like "eh the pain only happens once in a while" but i swear once you have it removed you realize you've always been in just a liiiiiittle discomfort, barely noticable even and afterwards that's all gone and you feel better than before by a TON.  i didn't really have to change my eating at all afterwards except for right after the surgery just to be safe, and the air leaves your body after the keyhole surgery thing by you doing breathing exercises or like naturally just by burping and bein gassy or whatever for like two days. it's definitely not as scary as i thought it would be, i was terrified cause having that surgery was very unexpected but it was easy and usually you can go home afterwards the day of your surgery.


Currently on a waiting list to get my gallbladder removed....I feel your pain and yeah I was misdiagnosed for like 5 years


I had my gallbladder removed 3 years ago and am so grateful I did. For the longest time doctors weren’t able to diagnose what was happening and the pain would be so bad I could hardly breath and finally they realized it was gallstones and once the organ was removed I never had the pain again! Definitely worth it, and yes my stomach became a ballon during the surgery and besides some minor bloating afterwards everything was fine! I have the tiniest scar on my bellybutton but other than that everything is normal again, sooooo amazing!!!


I've gotten my gallbladder out. 2 months after I turned 20. The recovery was p easy but dear god the pain right after


Holy crap, listening to the beginning of the video, I was SCREAMING: "GALLBLADER STONEEEEE, DODIEEEEE".
Dude, don't worry. I have the same thing, it's terrible, but it's a VERY VERY common and safe procedure to remove it. It's the second most common operation, after appendicitis.
You. Will. Be. Great!

Oh, and HAVE THE OPERATION ASAP. You do not want to let this get to the point where you need to have it removed in an emergency. It sucks. Have it while it is safe and relatively painless. <br>Get well, kween!

Oh, and HAVE THE OPERATION ASAP. You do not want to let this get to the point where you need to have it removed in an emergency. It sucks. Have it while it is safe and relatively painless.
Get well, kween!


I hope you figure out what to do and you end up okay physically and mentally. I missed your videos, it was great to see someone being so honest about the shit in their life on the internet. It really helps to not feel alone


I thought it was gonna be weird to hear from you after a while but it honestly feels like listening to an old friend and I hope you're doing amazing because you deserve to.


Dodie, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this with your gallbladder! I went through the same thing a couple years ago (age 28) and what you're describing is SO familiar... the pain, the questions, the thought process, the fears... everything. :( After seeing various doctors and trying different diets (etc, etc) I did have my gallbladder removed. I was nervous (and it took me a little while to recover) but I can say now that I feel so much better and I'm pretty much able to eat normally again! I don't know if you'll see this, but I just wanted you to know you're not alone! It's scary but it'll be ok. <3 (And the air does go away! I have no idea how but, lol.)


I am the same as you, I understand you! My thoughts are everywhere too, and I can't articulate it . New music, wahoo! Can't wait!


Dodie talking about life and inner thoughts:

Me: HER PLANTS

Dodie talking about life and inner thoughts:

Me: *HER PLANTS*


I love this so much I love you so much your derealisation joke made me genuinely laugh I really missed your videos please do more videos like these thank you


I had my gallbladder removed when I was 10! The disease runs in the women in my family, and I got acute onset one day and immediately had to go and have it removed that week. Taking probiotics has helped manage the fact that my tummy sometimes gets upset when I eat different foods. Better to have some minor side effects, than tremendous pain!


Hey Dodie! I've known you for a while, but today I was listening to a random playlist on Deezer. Out of nowhere, Would You Be So Kind starts jamming and I realize... That's my girl Dodie!

That's it. Cheers and love from Brazil!


Dodie! Have you ever thought about making a podcast? Your voice is so calming. Your stories make people feel less lonely. It could be weird but, I think we're into it ;) lol


Yes with the change thing !
I always thought I would be staying at home my entire adult life, due to a mix of anxiety and physical health shit,,,,
But now I've applied to student finance and I want to live away from home at uni,, it's wild


I had appendicitis meaning I am missing an organ too. It's weird to think about. For that procedure I had my belly filled with air too. Idk what to say lol. You inspire me everyday <3


im with you on the change thing!! i think its a part of growing up, but itchy feet happens, and thats ok, i think we always end up where we're meant to, and thats the exciting part about life, something happens and you go 'yes this is where i'm meant to be'


We talked about the inner monologue thing in my philosophy class and yeah, I think I can think in every form. But mostly bits and pieces of words


i have a running inner monologue but i also have other parts of me that are arguing in full sentences and calling myself out for thinking stupid shit and there is music interrupting me and
oh also HELLA intrusive thoughts and bad thoughts that interrupt the hell out of me and derail everything
so i wouldnt say speaking is easier for me lol because it sounds like a fucking scrambled radio station in here

Yaaaaaas. And talking just means I have to censor the monologue because other people have feelings and I should not say out loud everything that the monologue is saying 😂 I also dictate in my head absolutely bonkers scenarios that should never be repeated out loud.

Same, I listen to music to drown it out and focus but it doesn't always help. I'm good at writing, but no better at speaking my thoughts coherently.

Yeah, I kinda see my mind like a radio station too. Like, you have the layer of primal thoughts that aren't really 'conscious' (like the thoughts that drive you to eat, move, etc), but then when you change the channels you can switch to your 'inner voice' and you can listen to like a nice monologue where you analyze why you do things the way you do them. Or even like a dialogue. Sometimes an entire group chat. Idk lol.

Not everyone talks in their heads with running monologues? That's mind blowing because I do that all the time. I talk to myself about plans I have for today and the rest of the week.

@nefos Yes, I thought it was just me but since that tweet that trended a while ago explaining everyone don't have constant thoughts running in their mind all day, I would think it's as common to have this versus not to have it at all. https://twitter.com/kyleplantemoji/status/1221713792913965061?lang=en

@Lindex97 yes omg. my thoughts never stop i can't control it at this point,, is that normal

I agree, also racing thoughts and stuff are a mess with this cause you cannot stop thinking. When I go to bed and try to sleep it's: ''okay stop thinking, time to sleep. sleep, sleep... so for tomorrow remember all of these things very important, i wonder what weather it will be and what we're gonna do, no! I will focus on today and for today there is only sleep and tomorrow I'll worry about then'' and then it goes on repeat, really jealous of people who can meditate and don't have this monologe.

I FEEL thissss. It's constant and mean and I overthink what I am saying to people so a lot of the time I don't speak at all because I'm so aware of all the possible reactions to the smallest of words

Rowan Laura yeppp me too! Scrambled radio station is exactly how I’d describe it when I’m not relaxed!


I love you and I’ve missed you! In a time when most of the internet is horrible I love seeing you where it’s so soft and safe


I got my gallbladder removed and it was so worth it. I haven't changed my eating habits and nothing really changed.


Strange I told my friends and partner the other day that I craved change but I wasnt sure why or what or how or what area in my life. It's a labyrinth I'm scared but curious to explore but I think I should lol. There must be something in the water. Great minds think alike. Which every mind in a way is great because they are capable of doing so much lmao. Lovely video dodie. Excited to see the next  ❤


In my mind it's a mix of thoughts popping up and nice, clean sentences. It's irritating...really, it is.<br>And when you want a cat inside the house: you should look for two cats, so that they don't feel lonley or bored

In my mind it's a mix of thoughts popping up and nice, clean sentences. It's irritating...really, it is.
And when you want a cat inside the house: you should look for two cats, so that they don't feel lonley or bored


I get serious ASMR from your voice. Love it 😍


this video lead me to a dodie video/music binge which made me really happyy! thank u dodie i luv uuuu <333


you are and have always been such an incredible storyteller


I feel like I'm a combo of thoughts and feelings - I'll think through a conversation and I'll sometimes catch myself narrating what I'm up to and I have the voice in my head reading to me as I'm reading books BUT I'm visual when it comes to escapism (e.g. rowing machine at the gym - I'm going through Vienna or Amsterdam) and if I need to work out the fastest way to get to a place or even my feelings - anxiety is yellow and frustration is bruise purple (specifically haha)

I get weirded out that I can think of someone and I feel how they make me feel but seriously struggle to recall their face (?!) Even if I've known them forever. It's always like I remember a still picture of their face not their IRL face? Idk the mind is mental


I have a running monologue, how strange that people don’t now I’m confused. I like have conversations with myself in my head.    I’m pretty sure people with running monologue people are the ones who can be hypnotised easier cause it’s easier to shut it off

@kairi-ou I know what you mean, I don’t get that I have that feeling but as a word. I just said in another reply my monologue stops when I speak and every so often it randomly does which is where I “zone out” or as my teacher calls it “Katie bubble😂” but when the monologue stops other than speaking my mind is completely blank and I just stare into space

Marlena Carroll see I think people are in between and stuff but personally I am directly at the monologue end, I never have just random words. My monologue does stop, take breaks just like a monologue in a play but most of the time I have a paragraphs of thoughts. I’ve had arguments with people in my head rather than texting the person or saying it face to face, like writing it out but in my head so I don’t say something I regret. The monologue like stops when I speak and I “zone out” a lot which I think is where the constant stream stops and my head is blank

Edie H yess meditation and That kind of thing must be easier!

yeah i have that too and i really like it cause i feel like it’s much easier to express myself since how i’m feeling is kind of already in word form

I feel like I have a running monolough but can't seem to shut it off, does anyone relate?

I have conversations with my self in my head, like I can think in sentences but if I'm just thinking that I want to get a drink I don't think it out in my head before hand, I just do it. Idk I'm very confused in this whole thought thing, I don't understand what people mean by it.

@Kairi-ou yeah I feel like this is a good way of describing it. Someone recently had a popular video where he interviewed an acquaintance from school without any monologue? The way it was presented was that she does not think in clear words at all, but she (obviously based on watching the video) can speak and process thoughts. She just doesn't "hear" her thoughts at all. I feel like people are making it more black and white than maybe it is? Maybe some people have a running monologue all the time, but I think it's more often all over the place like Dodie describes. I can have an inner-monologue, but usually the thoughts I "hear" aren't straightforward so that a mind-reader (like Dodie described, Edward Cullen) would be able to parse exactly what's going on. Usually when I have a clear inner-monologue, it's because I was just reading a first-person novel/memoir for a really long-time or watching vlogs or something. And it feels weird and annoying because it's like, not an entirely comfortable headspace. Like with Dodie, I'll otherwise only have more focused narrative thoughts if I'm imagining a conversation or something.

Forgot to mention my color mood synesthsia the only snynestia I have nonstop and kinda a thought and picture in my head

I do and sometimes wish I didn't. It's not easy to 'translate (my) feelings' as she puts it. I wish it would just be silent sometimes but then again I like having something there if that makes sense.

Katie Illsley mine comes as disjointed thoughts/monologues but every now and then rather than a word, there’s just the <b>feeling</b> expressed? If that makes any sense. Its like trying to express “?!?!?!?!?????” As a word, it isn’t a word so much as it is an emotion to me.

Katie Illsley mine comes as disjointed thoughts/monologues but every now and then rather than a word, there’s just the *feeling* expressed? If that makes any sense. Its like trying to express “?!?!?!?!?????” As a word, it isn’t a word so much as it is an emotion to me.

I have an internal monologue and I think that because of it I have no brain to mouth filter when I’m talking slekdkskdm

I have the monologue on and off. It really pisses me off sometimes because I know what it's going to say but the words come so slowly.

YES, I have this too, my head voices never stop

i have both but would say running monologue is default I sometimes picture the words like subtitles or both I can also make sometimes imagine my thoughts are louder I also have ptsd so have flashbacks and stuff like that

Wow yeah that makes sense maybe that's why I like meditation so much , I can just switch it off


i missed your vlogs... I had forgotten how calm they made me feel


The thing about your gaul bladder is exactly what happened to my mum when I was little, we came back from Christingle, and she was screaming on the floor in pain for a few hours, until the paramedics finally turned up. I quit choir after that, haven’t been to a Christingle since lol. She’s fine now though, it all went well when she got it removed and she’s not had it since, and it’s been years :)

Also, having an internal monologue makes speaking harder for me to be fair, I am always in my dead, constantly, and when I am, I have trouble translating as I feel as though my thoughts are so coherent, that someone should’ve already heard and understood them, and I don’t wanna repeat them. I’m a little weird, and have trouble communicating with people, but when I’m so in my head, I have trouble understanding what people are saying, and also replying, it’s not too fun, but it helps me understand how I’m feeling really well, because my emotions tend to come in really strong waves, so, the monologue is somewhat helpful and I can’t imagine life without it, I can’t imagine how people live, without an internal monologue, probably normally lol


Oh my god the ending bit is the instrumental of “Sorry” :O I thought it sounded familiar!


i miss your videos so much dodie and i'm so glad you made this.. I hope you won't be hurt by what people say on the internet because you are a really precious being and there will always be nasty people everywhere.. stay healthy and happy please!


Dodie talking to her camera is how I talk to myself all the time.<br>Also when she said, "it has a name," I thought she gave the thing on her gallbladder a name. I mean that's what I would do.

Dodie talking to her camera is how I talk to myself all the time.
Also when she said, "it has a name," I thought she gave the thing on her gallbladder a name. I mean that's what I would do.

@Jozycat Jozycat Tysm, I just had a little look into it and quite a lot of it applies and is very much the same as what I do, I might talk to my doctor or therapist about it and see whether or not he thinks I have it

@ღCatherineღ <br>You might want to research maladaptive dreaming. Its like intense daydream addiction where you might even act fantasies out. I do this a lot.

@ღCatherineღ
You might want to research maladaptive dreaming. Its like intense daydream addiction where you might even act fantasies out. I do this a lot.

@Jozycat Jozycat Wait this is so crazy, I genuinly didn't know other people did this?? I do the exact same thing! I've never spoken to anyone about it so this is really wierd lol

@ღCatherineღ
I'll get really into these. Like full pretending I'm with some fictional telling a story or explaining something. I'll act out some movements too. Sometimes I slip in front of people when I make the  facial expressions of my fake convo/video.
Once I try to actually do it in person though I get anxious and suddenly I am selectively mute.

Same, I've done it ever since I was like 5 years old. I guess it helps me sort out my thoughts making my internal monologue into an external monologue as it were.

Basically like a storytime vlog, or just saying thoughts out loud but really really in depth

Wait me too? About both, I sit up at like 2am and talk to myself as she is to her camera, like I recap things and explain things as if someone is listening, things like that.


I really related to what you said about how you experience thinking! For me I’m either thinking conceptually in a kindof abstract non verbal way (but often with images) and other times I’m turning it into something more like dialogue, like I am imagining vocalising my thoughts to someone else ...  or I am just remembering a moment and thinking through replaying it but I think I rarely hear a monologue like ‘ok now I need to go make dinner I wonder if I should eat the leftovers from yesterday’... I find it perplexing that other people allegedly do! Althoughh alternatively my mind does often seem to randomly create sentences that sound like they are for a story or just describing something as a distant narrator - I do creative writing and I think about 40 percent ish of my thoughts is hearing sentences which sound more like literature than normal speech if that makes sense ? Do you ever get this for song lyrics or something similar ? I often either instantly forget or discard the majority of these kindof sentences though

Oh and I also have a parts of song lyrics almost constantly on repeat in the background!

right now it’s Arlo Parks’ ‘I kinda fell half in love and you’re to blame’ cos I listened to Eugene once this morning 😅


Dodie! 😭❤ Damn I haven't watched any of your videos for so long, I missed you


I don't know if you see this but, when I was 17 I was watching your videos listening to your songs when I was studying to my university enterance exams. Now I am in my 3 rd year. You inspire me so much. I did the same thing as you did. Asked 25 myself questions and it was painful but I think I needed to think. It is crazy it is nearly 4 years away. 🙂 Soo I am here to thank you for being here. And I think you are unique and so beautiful ❤ so much love from Turkey.


actually cats are much healthier indoors, so you really <b>shouldn't</b> need a garden. i know that's not the norm over there, the general view is that cats should have outdoor time, but the evidence all shows that indoor cats (who have adequate stimulation, ie toys/cat trees/attention...) are healthier and live longer than outdoor cats

actually cats are much healthier indoors, so you really *shouldn't* need a garden. i know that's not the norm over there, the general view is that cats should have outdoor time, but the evidence all shows that indoor cats (who have adequate stimulation, ie toys/cat trees/attention...) are healthier and live longer than outdoor cats

also outdoor cats ruin natural environments

Whether it's healthy or not, it just seems cruel to me to keep a cat locked inside for the rest of his life, with no chance to explore the outside world. I mean, a lot of animals live longer in captivity, but that doesn't mean that it's better for their general emotional wellbeing. Not judging people who keep their cat indoors, but personally, if I had a cat, and we were in a situation where he could go outside, I would let him.

after i moved house my cat went outside and didn't come home for like a week, so ever since then she's been an indoor cat and she's honestly more lively and happy than ever before, i think. it probably depends on the cat but i feel so protective over her due to past experiences and she's safe at home so that's great!!

@Kelly im suburban nz so we're perfectly fine for predators, the biggest thing we have is like a possum or stoat and they're too busy killing our native birds so..

I’m guessing the Uk doesn’t have coyotes around here they warn us about leaving them outside

i think it depends on ur circumstances and what ur property is like. i have 2 cats that have always been allowed outside and they've never been sick/injured  before, and they love it in the fresh air. i understand why you wouldn't allow a cat outside (my friend has lost multiple cats bc of cars) and honestly as long as ur pet is healthy, safe, and happy it doesn't actually matter

Jensen Caldwell indoor cats are safer in general, though its okay if you let a cat out into a contained yard that it cant get out of. Or you can walk cats on a leash! Then they get outdoor time safely. Some people make catios (fenced in patios) but cats dont necessary need to be outside. Theyre pretty domesticated (atleast cats that arent feral)

@Zoë Olekšákova its just cruel to keep cats inside with no air they deserve to wander and be let outside.

@Rosie Harrington keeping your cats indoors is actually much healthier not only for your cat but also for the environment in general, as outdoor cats are one of the leading killers of birds in the country and it's seriously a huge problem! Plus for your cat, being allowed to roam freely outside comes with the risks of being exposed to diseases (less so if your cat is vaccinated, but still), fights with other cats and/or wild animals (can lead to infections and huge vet bills) and also the dangers of being hit by cars. My parents have lost 2 out of 3 of our family cats to cars because they refuse to keep them indoors as they think it is cruel. Personally, I think it's cruel to knowingly expose a cat to these dangers that they cannot understand. My cat is indoor only, but I take her outside on her leash and keep her very stimulated with toys and playtime at home and she is the happiest little thing! I could give you some sources if you like but honestly if you ask any vet they'll tell you it's healthier and safer all round to have an indoor cat, so definitely don't feel guilty about it!. As long as you have the time to play and give your cat a lot of love they'll be happy and healthy.

Jensen Caldwell could I have sources for this ? (I’d love to have a cat in appartement without feeling guilty)


I get the thoughts being everywhere thing. Like when someone asks what language deaf people think in, not everyone thinks in words.<br>Also addressing the surgery stuff, your worries are 100% valid, surgery is weird and scary. But when it's done you'll just deal with it because that's what people do init. Stay frosty you anxious bean

I get the thoughts being everywhere thing. Like when someone asks what language deaf people think in, not everyone thinks in words.
Also addressing the surgery stuff, your worries are 100% valid, surgery is weird and scary. But when it's done you'll just deal with it because that's what people do init. Stay frosty you anxious bean


listening to dodie speak is so therapeutic to me i can't even process the amount of serotonin that was just released into my brain it feels like i'm high. also the little sound of the string piece dodie was working on (at least i think it is) made me so so proud especially as a violin player like i finally get sustenance.


Hey Dodie!! Idk if you’ll see this, but I had my gallbladder removed over the summer. I can tell you first hand, the air goes straight to your shoulder muscles. The pain of your shoulders will be WAY WORSE than the stitches themselves.


I am so so happy you’ve finally figured this out


i’m so confused. i thought everybody had running and coherent sentences as there thoughts? I always have like monologues in my head. I cannot picture having like no coherent sentences if that makes sense

mine is exactly like dodie's, its like i dont try to make things happen in my brain. I CAN form words if i focus on them, but it's usually just things happening, it's not a thought in the form of the word, more of just a sense or an urge

Jane Bartell same except I have just Ideas too like usually my thoughts come in words but quite often they’re also just kind of feelings?? like I get the idea of the thought but it isn’t in words. and a lot of the time I get both of them at the same time

katrina omg that’s wild!! I can’t imagine not just talking to myself in my mind. That’s awesome tho I love the phrase multimedia collage. I usually see pictures and hear my thoughts while talking about them

@katrina I love the way you put it...multimedia collage lol. It's exactly what it feels like.

ahhh! that's the weird thing!!! like i can't fathom at all people thinking in full fricking sentences. if i force myself, yea, i can, but i guess i would describe my normal everyday thoughts to be like a multimedia collage? a collage of words and concepts and feelings and ideas and pictures and colors. and i think another part of this difference is that some people have an actual voice in their head???? i could not imagine that at all, crazy man haha


I've experienced the same pain for six years because of gallstones


This video feels like home. Like I genuinely missed this.


I deal with a lot of just random pain, and one of my best ways with dealing it is 1. Take whatever medicine you need 2. If you have something that makes you sleep, take that 3. Get in bed and start watching a movie or tv show or whatever. I don’t know if this is helpful at all, but I know having a distraction makes it a little more bearable for me.


i am in a similar situation where I need to have a surgery and I feel like you are the only person who understands because everyone else I tell about my fear of being put to sleep they tell me I shouldn't be scared but I AM!!


i actually always thought that everybody had thoughts in the form of a monologue because i always forget to do something unless i think it hih basically saying it to myself, so like if i were sleepy or hungry i would tell myself to have nap sometime or i would start talking to myself in a way that resembles an auctioneer. also i think it might be an element that comes from tendencies to overthink but i dunno, i think i had always just spoken to myself even as a kid.<br> and one time i got curious and asked my friend how she thought and said she just SAW one single word representing her thought.

i actually always thought that everybody had thoughts in the form of a monologue because i always forget to do something unless i think it hih basically saying it to myself, so like if i were sleepy or hungry i would tell myself to have nap sometime or i would start talking to myself in a way that resembles an auctioneer. also i think it might be an element that comes from tendencies to overthink but i dunno, i think i had always just spoken to myself even as a kid.
 and one time i got curious and asked my friend how she thought and said she just SAW one single word representing her thought.

Leah yeah this is very strange, but in fact, reading with inner voice is the way that we learn in europeen/ occidental culture, and actually, this is possible to shut it up and reading way moooorr quicky ! This is  because we first learn to read out loud :)

@Gen Allen I think the same! I often talk outloud to myself to fully process my thoughts rather than just think the monologue in my mind, like I constantly am talking to myself- which may be why I'm a comfortable talker, I never shut up if someone is listening I'll just continue talking because I'm just thinking outloud basically

Cookilover 4ever same. i thought everyone thought like that

Same I feel like my thoughts just repeat over and over and just overlap each other!

you know what's weird? I asked one of my friends if he had a voice inside his head while reading and he said no. Do people NOT HAVE INNER VOICES??? i'm so confused i thought everyone did ;-;

Same it's like having a conversation with my self in my head. I'll have words but I'll will also have images, feelings, and memories too

This is so interesting. I think in concepts, the occasional word, and feelings like dodie and i always thought Jimminy cricket was such a strange character like he talked every moral dilemma out... like dodie i kinda assumed it was artistic licence. Monologuing thoughts just sounds so different


Oh Lordy this is so relatable. I had to choose between getting a rib resected or not recently and I was in the same situation where there was pretty much equal risk for both removing it or not. It’s so hard to make that decision! No one can make it but you!


i had my gallbladder removed and in my country its a pretty common procedure, nothing changed afterwards and life’s better theres less pain~ soo dont worry!


love love love love love you and everything you stand for


Actually interestingly enough, there’s a theory about how ppl might think differently and in psychology its called the dual-coding theory that basically says that spatial and non-verbal information is encoded differently than verbal. However, its not necessary words vs images, because usually simple descriptive terms are easily imaginable (eg. an apple), but the verbal processing is usually used to represent abstract ideas that are harder to visualise (u could technically associate an image with the term, but its not directly encoded as an image). But overall it suggests we use both of these systems most of the time, so idk exactly why some ppl might think only in words n some in images but either way its super interesting. Also it doesn’t rly touch on why how auditory information is encoded (eg. examples of onomatopoeia), which could be interesting to think about (some ppl might say that auditory information is encoded the same way as verbal, but like if u imagine the sound of a fan its not rly a word).


The orchestra when if faded in literally made me start to well up with tears.. it’s already SO LOVELY and I’m VERY excited!!!
Also, I wonder if the thoughts thing has to do with trauma or derealisation? Because you were describing how complex and out of order and random (it’s hardly a good way to describe it) but I feel the same, except.. more colour.
Like there will be splashes of colour with the song that’s stuck in my head mixing with the colours of my feelings and fears, and meshing with ideas.
It’s all very jumbled and I do wonder if trauma has anything to do with it.
Just a thought, but I love the update, I’m proud of you for setting boundaries around sharing your life online.
Best of luck with whatever you choose for your gallbladder.
And I send my love for when you get around to filming that video, it sounds frightening and yet exciting! :)
I look forward to whatever you create and do.
Love you dodes
Cheers~

Katrina Jann Forman yea! i get you. i have the same issues but i think it actually intensified my own internal monologue in a way to cope so it is an interesting thought!

LeisChips very true, I just said that because I personally have trauma/PTSD and derealisation, and think in a similar way to dodie. So I theorised that it could possibly be linked to that. I wasn’t trying to state that that was the only explanation, it was just a thought :)

I dont think it's due to trauma, different people have different ways they think :-)

@Angélica Moisés that's insane! @Celia Drewes same, I feel like my mind is always a jumbled mess of random music and thoughts, although I've never experienced anything that traumatic. Dodie described it well.

@Celia Drewes That just blows my mind. I've always thought in sentences and i would never have imagined any other posibility

I think the same way, all random and jumbled. I perfectly understood the way Dodie was explaining it. But I don't think I've ever faced big trauma before. It might just be a way that some people think, you know?


can i just say.. i love your videos.. i feel like we aee having a convo but i just get to listen in on your world and it intrigues me


I remember I started following you around the time you made the dear 25 year old me video, and it inspired me to make one for myself for when I graduated high school(because I was a wee freshman). I wondered if I would keep up with you for the time until you reacted to that video, and I guess I'm still here! Your music and kind words have helped me through some shit I've dealt with that I won't get too in depth about, but I'm very grateful you made stuff that made me feel less alone in the things I was going through. I'm graduating high school this summer and going to college, and it's crazy to think how much we've both grown as people in these few years. Anyway, I'm just a stranger from the internet but hopefully I'll get to follow you for a while more! (Also I'm a film major so maybe I can hire you to write some scores in the future...wink wink) Here's to growing up :)


I forgot how god damn funny she is. Love ya <3


Being able to hear your own voice isnt fun, as it never shuts off and I just replay conversations in my head all the time, I also tend to be in a situation where I over analyse things all the time, it's so frustrating


I’ve missed this type of content<br><3 hope u r doing well dodie

I’ve missed this type of content
<3 hope u r doing well dodie


Wait how long has it been since she made a video? Her whole vibe is different! Sounds like LIFE experiences.


I whish your talking videos were like an hour long cause it's so freaking interesting to hear what's in your mind


Hi! Because this is a random video, which is something I actually very much enjoyed (kudos to you), I thought I should contribute! YOUR SO BEAUTIFUL!! Your smile makes me melt and your voice is so soothing. Just agh! Your eyes are like paintings, and your an inspiration to not only me but so many others. you've helped us get to be the people we are now and im so proud to be a fan of yours.<br>just thank you for everything you beautiful buttercup!!

Hi! Because this is a random video, which is something I actually very much enjoyed (kudos to you), I thought I should contribute! YOUR SO BEAUTIFUL!! Your smile makes me melt and your voice is so soothing. Just agh! Your eyes are like paintings, and your an inspiration to not only me but so many others. you've helped us get to be the people we are now and im so proud to be a fan of yours.
just thank you for everything you beautiful buttercup!!


I have a running monologue in my head but it happens really quickly and sometimes it's almost radio silence. I've tried writing diaries to help with emotional control but I could never express exactly what I'm thinking in my head into written word. It's like another language, or maybe the sentences are running too fast. Idk if that's just me though. Always found it easier to express emotion symbolically like in music or pictures but even then, opening up emotions has never been easy for me, even with a running monologue lol


Omg Dodie that notification almost gave me a heart attack


Dodie looking like a gremlin at the end when she said “big worry” is a mood

Also I love you Dodie 🥺💜


I dee a doctor they say
"what the fuck is wrong" XD
Dodie please do skits that was just perfection.
But that aside I hope you are feeling better <3


I have absolutely no advice but this is my fave video I've seen in a long time because this is like exactly how I talk to myself


I literally got my gallbladder removed yesterday and im laying on the couch watching this vid :) hope you are doing well now <3


in response to the train of thought thing, it feels the same way as when you hear a conversation in another language and understand what's happening in a conversation but just the basics for me


I developed gall stones while I was pregnant and I had my gall bladder removed one month after I had a child. I had the key hole surgery and the recovery was quite manageable for me. While I had to change my diet for a little bit my system regulated eventually and I can eat normally now. I would do it all over again. I hope you make the best choice for you. 👍❤


I love this entire video because I have the same pain dodie has and I constantly go to the hospital and the same thing happens. I’ve been put on a shit ton of different drugs that don’t help and I had my gallbladder taken out with the same surgery😂 the surgery helped a whole lot, I highly recommend it