wait like people think differently. ik i’m late i just never thought abt it. oh my god like i think in just a running monologue, it literally has no pictures, my mind can’t think of pictures anymore. just one long words. i could probably right a book about random things and it would like make sense. lol


Wait people actually have like whole ass words in their heads???


ANYONE GONNA SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE LYRIC SHE SUNG? 3:30 ??


Eh, I had a laproscopic hysterectomy; it's a pretty good method of surgery. It's just, surgery, so it sucks but less


it’s not my fault!<br>(it’s not my fault~🎵)

it’s not my fault!
(it’s not my fault~🎵)


I’ve missed hearing you ramble. Makes me feel less lonely. Plus you have such a soothing voice and intelligent and articulate things to say. Anyway, love you.


i missed you! its so comforting to hear ur voice. the internet is a scary and toxic place but i think the community here is lovely


Dear Dodie,
I am always happy when I see you posted a video!  I hope you realize that even if people critique and criticize what you say and do, there are people - like me - who don't really care about that stuff and are just happy that you are making videos and talking to us. You make me happy and I hope you realize that you make other people happy too!
Love, a subscriber •ᴗ•


Thank you for being the smol bean I need in my life. I love and appreciate you, Dodie


I really missed you dodie! It's good to hear you ramble your thoughts once in a while. I hope you will do it more often, only if you want to.


Missed you on this platform, but I’m pleased you’re doing what you want and I’m looking forward to your new music xx


A few years ago I had part of my liver removed and it's actually a quite similar procedure. I was lucky and only did local anaesthetic due to a few different reasons but I guess its safer to do the general anaesthetic. The gas is mostly removed at the end of the procedure and the little bit that remains just basically gets absorbed into your body. I had some bloating and cramps for the first few days after but honestly mostly just treated it like a period, a hot water bottle really helped me, and some light tummy massage. Also walking a bit to keep you moving. And I didnt really get it but some people have shoulder pain due to the pressure on their diaphragm. Hope that was helpful good luck with your decision!


Lovely to see you and hear some of what's on your mind! <3 <3 <3 <3


that "what's going in my head" part damn relatable every time and we'll wait for your music always:') thank you for this video 💛💛💛


I am recovering from sinus surgery right now. Yes I am in a good amount of pain. There is already so much improvement for me and I’m not done healing.

Get it Dodie! It won’t get better on its own.


i literally LOVE the editing in this video!!!!


I’ve had 3 keyhole surgeries. You fart and burp it out but it’s really uncomfortable so take peppermint tea to hospital and as soon as you can, wander the ward as the walking movement helps you fart it out and get rid of all the air. Air even gets trapped round your shoulder blades so you need to fart and burp it out by moving 😊xx


Just from my own personal experience, I had a similar problem last year. I had severe digestive issues so my doctor also gave me pills, they worked for a while then didn't. A horrible time. I also had so much pain in my stomach like you do. I finally was sent for an ultra sound and they found pretty large gallstones and they said they recommended me getting my gallbladder removed. It's so funny, just like you I said the SAME THINGS about "what if this" and "what if that" and "they're taking out my ORGAN." So believe me, I understand. But the pain became unbearable and my body was reacting in a horrible way. All this to say, I got my gallbladder out last August and it was the best decision I made. Again, this is my experience. However, keep in mind that yes your diet might have to change some, since your body is readjusting to this change. I'm still having some issues with certain foods. I can't eat cheese. So there's  that. Anyway, I hope this helps somewhat. I do think it might be for the best to get it removed. But that is your choice in the end! Have a wonderful day Dodie! (:


i had that exact convo abt thoughts w my friends! i was Oppressed because i think abstractly.<br>but how i described it to them - you know how in your dreams, when you know something as a fact even though it wasnt confirmed out loud? its like that all the time

i had that exact convo abt thoughts w my friends! i was Oppressed because i think abstractly.
but how i described it to them - you know how in your dreams, when you know something as a fact even though it wasnt confirmed out loud? its like that all the time


I’ve missed you so much. An odd thing to say to someone you’ve never met, but still very true. I feel like my life is out of balance when you go so long without posting lol. But am also very excited for you to just be hanging out and living your life without us. Love u xx


The internal monologue allows me to practice what I’m going to say out loud to the point where it rarely comes out the way I intended it to cos I overthink everythinggg


I had the same gallbladder problem and just had my gallbladder taken out, and I tell you its worth it!! no more horrific pain!


We really need to sort out the internet. An internet where lovely fascinating people like Dodie and Steven Fry can’t exist comfortably is a sad place <3


'I think I've adapted to the idea of change now' DODIE I AM SO PROUD


i absolutely understand the way in which your thoughts work! i also think the same and i can't imagine that someone can think in sentences lmao


Funny, I just learned about (not) having an inner monologue last week.<br>Talked to both sides a bunch now. Really intriguing.

Funny, I just learned about (not) having an inner monologue last week.
Talked to both sides a bunch now. Really intriguing.


(like you) am in my 20s and am scared of being turned off but did it and it was genuinely FINE and way less terrible than the gallbladder pain ! godspeed dodie


this is so NICE my heart sees dodie and goes :)


Your shirt is so cute!!<br>Also if it makes you feel better, my mon had her gallbladder removed years ago and has had no side effects.🤷♀ and she isn't sick every day! But  it's different for every person.

Your shirt is so cute!!
Also if it makes you feel better, my mon had her gallbladder removed years ago and has had no side effects.🤷♀ and she isn't sick every day! But  it's different for every person.


I thought you asked us to imagine we have an apple in our brain, lol.

Also, I am very excited for your vlogs (including your reaction to "Dear 25 year old me" video). Love you!


Oh Dodie, I hope you're ok, that sounds very painful. Please take care of yourself and drink plenty of water. I wish the best for you. Take your time to upload, and please don't feel pressured to upload too much. It's important to give yourself time to recover ❤❤ ily


- The fun thing about an internal monologue is that (for me at least) it happens WHILE a song is playing and the lyrics are ticker-taping across it, and the big worry is looming and a phrase you've had stuck in your head is repeating on loop. It gets all segmented and interrupted and jumps around and circles back on itself. I did stream of consciousness writing for a while and it's absolutely wild.

- Its your body, lady. The internet can go fuck itself

- A shelter telling you you need to let your cat outside? In the U.S. every shelter I visited did the "now... if you get a cat with us it will be indoor only, yes?" Thing. What a weird thing to be so differet.


Right so my friends and I were discussing thoughts recently and trying to understand how it works for people who don't have an internal monologue. The thing my friend was trying to understand was if you need to get milk and you don't think 'I need to get milk.' then how do you think it? Do you say it out loud to yourself? Do you just have an image of an empty milk carton in your head? How does it work?


I totally get the whole scared of being switched off thing, I had to have keyhole surgery recently and whenever I told someone I was really nervous about it they would say "don't worry, you'll be put under anaesthetic and then you'll wake up with it all done" and I was just like "that's the issue!!" It was all fine, I wouldn't want to repeat the experience but it wasn't as scary as I thought. With the gas thing.. I was told by the nurse it gets "expelled out the same way gas normally does" I assume your digestive system absorbs/allows it through into the right organs somehow?


i have the internal monologue in my head thing. and its definitely very easy to talk, i often wondered how and why people say they have difficulty expressing themselves when its just there in your head, just say it, right?


still cute, still awesome and lovable. nice to see you back here.

don't worry too much if you're a mess,. you're still worthy and cared about.
my minds odd... scatter of images, emotion and dialogue. internal monologue seems so basic to me, my mind just never has been that quiet


I sometimes use my inner monologue instead of talking, so in a group setting where I feel uncomfortable I still add to the convo just not verbally...


all i have to say is, love you dodie and we share the same bday :)


If I had to explain my mind, it’s like it has two categories, the active one which is a running monologue that basically just is stating stuff in my mind, like surface thoughts and needs and words, and then the subconscious side which is like colours that represent stuff... like deep blue for worries and fears and all those little nagging worries that you just can’t quite describe, and a sandstone orange for little bits of love and stuff, like deeper things. Idk that’s how I’d describe my brain aha


You can find lots of cats in shelters that have a thing called FIV (kind alike HIV for cats) and it means it's best to keep them indoors. Look for FIV cats! 😊


idk if it's because I haven't seen a dodie video in a while but for some reason this was so fun and amazing to watch; it felt very genuine. I also don't think in sentences, it's just all very random and convoluted. <3


my thoughts are a bit like yours, i can picture things and i can talk to myself inside my head, but there’s no continuous monologue of full sentences, it’s all a big mess of feelings in there.


I’ll be getting surgery to literally reconstruct the inside of my nose so I can breathe through it (right now I cannot) <br>and I’m terrified :D also I have running monologue but it makes things harder because I usually think faster than I talk and then I splutter about, as well as seeing images and stuff.

I’ll be getting surgery to literally reconstruct the inside of my nose so I can breathe through it (right now I cannot)
and I’m terrified :D also I have running monologue but it makes things harder because I usually think faster than I talk and then I splutter about, as well as seeing images and stuff.

My cousin had very similar surgery yesterday and she's home now! I'm having endoscopic sinus surgery and a septoplastly in March and can't wait to breath again and get rid of the chronic sinusitis! Cannot wait!


this video made me so so happy. i miss ur videos and just the lil snaps n claps at the beginning made me so nostalgic


My mom got her gallbladder removed   8 or so years ago and being 13  it was the scariest thing I experienced including the recovery especially watching her go through her terrible pain and the ambulance taking her away was frightening. But she came out of it safely and her pain is gone. If you can overcome those fears, I think you wouldn't regret it.


I got my gallbladder out a few years ago, and the funny thing about it is you don’t really need it! Without your gallbladder, your system just free flows bile instead of releasing it whenever you eat fats, and honestly that hasn’t affected anything about my life. I have had no pain since surgery! Also, gallstones/gallbladder removal is most common in young women and older men, so it’s not a sign of you getting old! It’s actually a very youthful thing! It was definitely a scary experience but it was worth it.


My mom had her gallbladder removed after having pretty severe stomach and back pain, and she has been completely fine for years. Don’t know if that helps but just thought I’d throw it out there!


I had my tummy blown up and then had my appendix removed put to sleep, I was scared not to wake up, I’m missing an organ but it’s vestigial so, best wishes at least you know what it is. 💕


this video is so aesthetically pleasing o_o also thank u dodie for this nice little chatty vlog c: i’m sorry the internet is poopoo and scary i wish i could step on all the mean people


I can't imagine an apple, but I can do the monologue thing. (I still have trouble describing my thoughts and things that I want, tho.)

Tis some weird stuff, actually


Woke up from a nightmare at 2am? Time to watch the new dodie video that came out to calm down


BRO I LITERALLY HAD A DODIE BINGE LAST NIGHT THANK YOU FOR POSTING


Enquire about cats with FIV, or blind cats! They can’t go out but will live a long and happy life indoors 💛


I'd much rather have dodie be my science teacher


I have the running monologue thing. It's made me into a writer. I cant say a good one but a writer non the less. When I'm really focused that monologue seeps into real life and I start talking to myself... Yikes. I also can get really tired cause it's not always one monologue, sometimes it's a few going off at the same time, but that's only when my adhd really acts up. I also have the songs and emotions and deep worries. Over my brain is kinda hectic to be in. I'm not insane I swear😂


I have the running monologue but it turns into alphabet soup when I'm anxious, but a cool thing I can do is sit down for 20 minutes with a pen and paper and write out what the monologue is saying as soon as it says it, and it's insane to read back on because some of it is coherent sentences and some of it is just "..." or a random "... wait what? oh yeah" 😂😭


lol I got my gallbladder out about a year ago with the same procedure! The pain after surgery is nothing compared to the pain I had during my attacks! Felt a little bit of discomfort since I was literally full of air but that went away in about a day or two. Haven’t had too much trouble with my diet... if you slowly introduce fat into your diet you should be fine! Also I was absolutely terrified of going under but it really wasn’t that big of a deal, went to sleep and woke up in recovery! Hopefully this gave you peace of mind lmfao.


There's a podcast called 'sludge- an american healthcare story' where the host documents having her gallbladder removed and her experience sounds very similar to yours- she talks through her worries and stuff and what the process is like, I think it'd be reassuring (it's also about how shit American healthcare is)


My brother had his gallbladder removed when he was like 12 ish. He's 24 Now, and has no issues!


I'm one of those people who think as a running monologue! I personally believe that I developed this because I'm shy but also quick to speak without thinking, and it's a good way to keep me aware. I also like it when my life flow linearly, and that's how my thoughts flow.


So a random thought I had lately was that if you're eyes and your ears would be located at your hand or somewhere else. Would we think that our thoughts are built in that location of our body?


6:58
Not really lol
I might think in sentences, but talking to people is still one of the hardest things to do regardless.

My thoughts are not exclusively words though, there's like images of memories, like a friend smiling or the piece of paper with my homework on it.. But they're always more or less accompanied by words and sentences.


I appreciate your whole bit with the hospital phone calls. : D


After years or avoiding a surgery because I was afraid of being put under I finally had it done last month because I couldn’t stand the pain anymore. It was worth it


My dad, who is 6ft 3, 18 stone and an ex body builder had Gallstones and was literally on the floor every night crying in pain. Gallbladder's don't fuck around. Hope you're okay and it all gets sorted soon! 💖


gosh i adore you, you perfect little music goblin


Hey dodie
You don’t actually need a garden for every cat! I mean what about indoor cats? It makes sense that shelter cats are mostly outdoor cats as they come from the streets and are used to it but there are indoor cats out there, too!
Just keep searching and you’ll find your little kitty!


almost everything in my head is words- I have trouble with visualization of things as pictures. It takes a lot to form them. Which is difficult as I want to be an artist. Well I am an artist, I paint. But. It's weird. I have trouble coming up with images. I use a lot of reference.

That is so weird you need a gardne for a cat in England, because in America, we are told by the humane societies to keep kitties indoors so they don't keep killing our songbirds.


I've had keyhole surgery....twice...I never actually looked it up...now I'm looking back and at this and I understand why my entire torso hurt afterwards...I thought they just cut a teeny hole and used teeny holes, the blowing up of the tummy wasn't something I was aware of.....


Almost every woman in my family has had their gallbladder removed.l due to Gallstones. All the woman have been so relieved when its been removed. Obviously a fair amount of after pain but once thats gone you dont need to change your diet or anything. You'll be fine.


ohhhh no having a running monologue means i zone out constantly listening to it and thinking ab things and i can’t always weed out exactly what i want to say and ALSO i talk to myself OUT LOUD in literal conversations with myself and i only realized i did it when my roommate told me that i did that. so... yeah.


Boy are my thoughts strange. I’m taking a Spanish class that happens to be the last class of the day for me, sometimes my brain short circuits and gets stuck in Spanish mode for a couple hours after school, like it gets stuck translating literally everything I think of. It’s very strange and sometimes wont event let me speak English.


its hard to decribe the monologue in my head... its my voice but saying the words as i read or type them and less of being ables to translate that to someone or saying each thought i have to myself like in a play... but i am dyslexic so thats how i taught myself to read and write :)<br>Also, you dont NEED a garden for a cat if you can provide climbing and hunting activities in the flat! Plus indoor cats live longer, look for people who foster cats in london as shelters like battersea tend to be harsher with the requrements.. <3

its hard to decribe the monologue in my head... its my voice but saying the words as i read or type them and less of being ables to translate that to someone or saying each thought i have to myself like in a play... but i am dyslexic so thats how i taught myself to read and write :)
Also, you dont NEED a garden for a cat if you can provide climbing and hunting activities in the flat! Plus indoor cats live longer, look for people who foster cats in london as shelters like battersea tend to be harsher with the requrements.. <3


It’s so funny that the shelters in your area want a garden. Here in Canada most shelters prefer if your cat will be indoors-only. Good luck getting a kitty!! ♥♥♥


I do the monologue thing but lemme tell you, it doesn't make it easier to express my feelings. In my head feelings and thoughts are two separate things. My brain would say things like "I'm gonna go get food" and "I like this book" but if I ask myself "Am I sad or am I mad?" I wouldn't be able to differentiate and it would just go blank.


Hey dodie this is gonna be a long one but bare with me

1.) I have no idea about gallbladder removal surgery but if the pain is as horrible as u make it sound it seems like it would be better in the long run

2.) Lol I have ADHD and my hyperactivity takes place in my talking, so I never shut up but also even when I'm not talking I am talking in my head, and YES ITS SO COOL TO ANALYZE WORDS LIKE THAT it's also why I can articulate my feelings so well in writing. The downside is I have such intense maladaptive daydreaming that sometimes I'll just start saying my inner monologue outloud and have embarrassed myself on several occasions. Sometimes instead of fully talking my mouth with just move with my thoughts so like I'm not actually talking but it looks like it?? Idk how to explain but everyone close to me has witnessed and been creeped out at first but they accept it now lol

3.) GET A BUNNY!! Bunnies are perfect indoor animals and are also very independent like cats but also love affection so they won't be constantly running from you. Obviously adopt, bc theres plenty of sweet buns looking for homes, they don't require the ability to go out and are great free roaming. It teaches u to be cleaner bc they will find everything you have lost under your bed lol but despite their curiosity they are soooo worth it!!


Right so I am having the same sort of problem as you dodie, in that i have this pain in sort of the same place as you and every so often it flares up. But then by the time I manage to get a doctors appointment it's gone. I've been to a&e after calling 111,I've had an ultrasound which came back normal so now I've gotta have a scope to see if it's a stomach ulcer  🙃🙃🙃 i feel your pain, literally


I have a running monologue but that doesn't mean it transfers gracefully from my head to my mouth lmao. Also I missed this I missed you 🥺🥺


my thoughts are a constant monologue and i never thought about how strange it is. mines especially fucked up cause im bilingual so german words and phrases just mix in all the time haha


The way I think behaves similarly where yes I have the song playing in the back and the mess of feelings in the corner and the big worry but then also I have a sarcastic voice in my head making fun of everything else that is happening


Something about this video felt very real. I liked it


You're not going to die …… well you are really.  I read recently that anxiety, depression and other mental health problems may have a common issue …. a strong fear of dying.  You've mentioned your fear of death before and just in this video I heard "I don't like the idea of being turned off" ….. "the unknown worry buried deep down"..... "I don't like getting old".  Sorry dodie, you, me and everyone is going to die …. like pooping.  Everybody does it.  The main thing to realize is from now, until you do die ….. you know, the bit in the middle ….. that's called life.  If you constantly worry about death while you're alive … is that living?  You've achieved so much and you're not even 25.  Think of how much more there is for you to do and how much easier it will be if you accept your worry and not let it be a burden anymore.  But you really have to accept it.  Deep down


My visual imagination is horrendous. When I try to imagine a person it's like looking at them with my glasses off. <b>But</b> coming up with minute details of the oldest families in my own fictional universe? Easy as pie.

My visual imagination is horrendous. When I try to imagine a person it's like looking at them with my glasses off. *But* coming up with minute details of the oldest families in my own fictional universe? Easy as pie.


I know someone who’s had they’re gallbladder out and it’s the best thing they’ve ever done, my mums getting her outs soon and she’s afraid but know it’ll be better after.


I have a running monologue. I always struggle to say what I’m thinking. Its sort of like it keeps going so I can’t really hold on to what I want to say and by the time I’m halfway through the sentence I’ve lost the second half entirely because now I’m thinking about something else (it also sometimes gets caught up so I’ll be thinking “I need to go to the shop and buy some more soup” and then I’ll be thinking “buy some more soup” over and over for the next couple minutes and won’t be able to stop it but idk how normal that is)


Not every cat needs a garden!! I have two and while one goes outside (I do have a garden) I also have a deaf cat who has to be indoors only. So perhaps rescuing a disabled cat would be good? Not only because you wouldn't need a garden but also because disabled cats don't get adopted as often. Just maybe do research to ensure you're happy with the extra care they need :))


Now I feel dumb cause I never thought of that cat need a garden. I feel like they never stay in it anyway. They want to explore the entire neighborhood


Oh no I've had keyhole surgery before (I was in yr2) and I had no idea that they did THAT to me!!! If I had to have that surgery now, then I would be screaming on the floor :(( poor you! It will be fine, if you decide to do it :)))


Not all cats need gardens! My cat has medical issues and can't go outside, she was a stray from a shelter! There's hope for you 💖💖


I think loads of cats are happy without a garden


You do fart it out! The air that is. It diffuses through your cells to the butt! And it also can diffuse out your skin!! It’s real strange and the wind can hurt a little after the  surgery but if you walk around a bit you’ll fart it out and it’ll be fine! I had keyhole surgery in 2018


the hospital phone call bit was beautiful


I never thought about it cause like you but opposite i thought everyone had a mind voice, it is easier to think and analyse my words but i don't talk much anyway cause i'm dumb and socially inept. Also, hey, missed you, i know it's stupid and unhealthy to think like that but i can't help it, you feel like a friend i haven't got the chance to meet yet and it kind of sucks and it's kind of cool.


I had both my hips removed last month as a result of sever arthritis. I'm 23. When they did the operation, it lasted twice as long as it was meant to and I needed two blood transfusions. The weirdest part is afterwards I found out that when they cut off the top of my femurs my legs were obviously not connected to my hips properly so the doctors could literally throw them over my shoulders. You know in Harry Potter when Lockhart romoves the bone in Harry's arm and becomes all floppy, that's almost exactly like what they were doing with my legs. Don't Google hip replacements. But I must say the day after the operation when I woke up I burst into tears because the pain in my hips was completely gone. I had spent the last year in unbearable, I cannot describe it, I would not wish it on the devil himself (or herself, whatever), I also hadn't walked since June due to the pain and my hips being unstable. But the following day I could stand on my own and the next day I was walking. If they tied my entire body to various strings and used it as a literal puppet while I was under I wouldn't mind at all, the operation was worth it. It's been a while but I'm still getting used to not feeling pain, if you think a single voice in your head is odd, the moment you think 'hey, there's supposed to be extreme pain right now? Why aren't you there?' you'll lose your mind.

Speaking of; YOU DON'T THINK IN ONE COHERENT SENTENCE?! Does everyone else think like that as well? I had arms unfolding stuck in my head whilst writing this message but I have to stop, play the song in my head, stop the song, then continue my thoughts. They can't play simultaneously?!? Typing this out was one long continuous thought. That's my normal I guess?

Super keen for new music but also super keen for more vlogs??

WOW this was fascinating ! I’m so glad you’re feeling better


i have a running monologue in my head. and it's easy to "manipulate" as in when i read a book i copy the "voice" - if i watch alot of one youtuber their style of speaking. but here is the weirdest thing: i have smoked weed like twice in my life - after the first time, my inner monologue was fucking gone!? and i was so freaking confused... (so kids don't do drugs)


My thoughts are a monologue but my feelings aren't, and the monologue doesn't know what words to ascribe to the feelings. So while "wow, I'm really thirsty" is a thought I can have, I won't ever think something like "ahh yes, this deep feeling of sorrow is probably because of [reason]". Instead, it'll just be "what is this emotion?? Why do I feel bad? What is happening??" So no, my mind doesn't just translate my feelings into words, and it doesn't make talking about feelings any easier.


YOU'RE TELLING ME OTHER PEOPLE <b>DON'T</b> HAVE A RUNNING MONOLOGUE IN THEIR HEAD!?

YOU'RE TELLING ME OTHER PEOPLE *DON'T* HAVE A RUNNING MONOLOGUE IN THEIR HEAD!?


I have a running monologue in my head but not about everything if that makes sense. Like if I'm thirsty I don't really "say" anything about it in my head, I just go and get a glass of water without any words. And emotions for me aren't in words either... I just feel an emotion and then I can think about what it is and why I feel that way but the emotion itself doesn't have any words connected to it. I think the running monologue for me is mostly for things that I really have to think about properly. It's difficult to describe though and tbh sometimes I don't even know how I actually think .


The problem with monologic thoughts is that they only go in one direction.
 Linear thinking, you could say, it limits your grasp on reality.
The whole network of causes and effects, it goes you by
 because you need a single subject, a single object
anyway it would be a great project
 to write
 about this quality
of having epicentral thoughts without projection

Please write it so we can understand it without projection!


ok about the running monologue, I think I have that because one time I could almost physically hear my monologue in my head and it made me think I was going mad and it scared me so much.


Peppermint capsules. Honestly, that air will have a bit left and will start to hurt, but the capsules make the air pass out through your pores. Seriously! It’s amazing.


Dodie this is the best video ive ever seen


My mom got her gallbladder removed (FOR A DIFFERENT PROBLEM) after a few hospital stays in like a month. If she didn't remove it she could have died. No pain anymore! 100% worth it


My little sister had her gallbladder out, and I  highly recommend it.  She put it off and a stone escaped and ripped up her insides - requiring more surgery.  However, after the final surgery, she was really happy.  Minimal post surgery pain, and she has had none of the potential side effects.


I thought everyone had an inner monologue 😮 PHEW but lemme tell you though, I just talk to myself and she (inner me) doesn’t help to become more eloquent. If anything, she’s like a friend????? but me??? I DUNNO


I have an internal monologue! I can't really write down everything I think (mostly because my mind goes 1000 miles an hour) (or because I can't pinpoint words) (or because it doesn't make sense (for example: Today has been a day. I did things today: It is later than I thought)) But it does help as I write ALOT. Recently it has been like I'm vlogging but in my mind without a camera. I also can't clear my mind, there is a constant running sentence. When I was younger I'd try to think of something but inside my head would be like "think of nothing think of nothing. wait, thinking to think of nothing is thinking of something."


I can say with absolute certainty that The running monologue doesn’t make it easy to talk at all lol


when i don't have a voice in my mind and cannot visually imagine images what is going on in my brain


American here. I find it so strange that they won’t let you have a cat if you don’t have a yard. Most of the cat owners I know never let their cats outside...?

I agree you can raise a perfectly healthy cat with no garden


I had key hole surgery for my appendix and let me tell you THE GAS IN YOUR SHOULDERS KILLS FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS (it stays in your shoulders by the way and walking around and farting kind of help, but just prepare yourself.)

Oh forgot to put these things: You won't be able to see properly for a few minutes, the pain is soooo bad and the guy watching over me wouldn't listen when I told him "I CAN'T BREATHE". He also put 5 needles in my leg or in my arm (can't remember because that's how much pain I was in) couldn't feel it and you're basically naked for the whole surgery with only your undies on and that hospital dress so...

I had key hole surgery for my appendix and let me tell you *THE GAS IN YOUR SHOULDERS KILLS FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS* (it stays in your shoulders by the way and walking around and farting kind of help, but just prepare yourself.)

Oh forgot to put these things: You won't be able to see properly for a few minutes, the pain is soooo bad and the guy watching over me wouldn't listen when I told him "I CAN'T BREATHE". He also put 5 needles in my leg or in my arm (can't remember because that's how much pain I was in) couldn't feel it and you're basically naked for the whole surgery with only your undies on and that hospital dress so...


I too am missing an organ 😂 had my large intestine taken out.. You can join an elite club! X


I honestly didn’t know that other people don’t have a constant inner monologue? Like I’m always talking in my head in full sentences it didn’t occur to me that it’s not the same for everyone


ooo the apple thing is very interesting and i’m 100% conceptualized with so much


i dunno it's weird cuz sometimes i'll be like "bro thats such a good point" but other times "hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" in my brain means i want a drink and a vague shimmying feeling means "oo shakey leaves"


oh my gosh dodie i miss your videos so much


I have a running monologue and have conversations in my head BUT I have nothing in my head when I’m talking. I can focus on what to say when I’m not talking? But when I am that’s all I focus on so I struggle with talking 👍


Do you think perhaps you're not longing for your home-home, or for the way things used to be so to speak, but rather you're longing for the comfort and security of that point in time? Growing up and being independent are quite scary things, and I've always viscerally related to the way you talk about that. Especially in your video "A Few Nostalgic Tears" where you talk about how hard it is to zoom out and realise you're in you're 20s and you do taxes now (lol!) I think what it is that I miss is the comfort and security of my old home and old friends. I miss the way it felt like the world had stopped in this weird perfect (but also very not perfect!!) place and I was warm and safe and happy but also very young and very dependent and that was okay...does that make sense??

I'm rambling but I wanted to say I've missed you quite dearly and it's an absolute treat seeing you back on YT :)


i kind of have a running monologue.... but it's mostly in english with some icelandic, korean, french and italian words thrown in there and every now and then some of my native language, german.. but since it's primarily in english I still have to translate in every day conversations as they are in german and some things don't translate well so I mostly just talk non sense


I’m here to tell you that I have a running monologue and it’s more like 10 voice is all talking at once at lightning speed


Why would you need a garden for a cat? I have a beautiful chonky rescue boy and he’s only ever been outside while on a harness maybe 10 times. He lives a very happy life and loves playing with his toys and cuddling me. He wouldn’t care less if he never left our apartment ever again.


3:30 the part where she says so much.... part of a new dodie secret????


I have somewhat of a running monologue but the is problem I can’t always remember the words I want to use. Usually the adjectives escape me. I don’t know if it like this for other people but to retain information I have to think words as I read or hear them kinda like reading aloud. This makes it difficult to multitask if I’m trying to listen to something like an audio book because I either won’t remember what happened in the book or do my other task halfassedly.


I think I have aphantasia because I can’t see anything when I try to imagine an apple and all my thoughts are words. I’m constantly talking in my head and ranting! It’s pretty much just dialogue up here!

Or monologue? But I also imagine myself having wordy conversations at length so kinda dialogue


Biggest thing I think you should know about not having a gallbladder: there's absolutely no need to change your diet. Unless of course you eat high fat foods 100% of the time. Just expect to be a bit gassier. Half a year post-surgery now, everything is pretty normal again. That's not the case with everyone but studies show that most people get gallstones and other gallbladder problems from high cholesterol, high fat diets, so they are more likely to suffer from permanent diarrhoea. But mine was a genetic disposition. So if you eat quite healthy and just have some high fat foods once in a while you'll be fine without a gallbladder!


ok this has me so confused now cause like i have a running monologue in my head most of the time but also i dont think like oh im thirsty i should get water i see in my head like isk the concept of being thirsty to me and like getting up and getting water??? idk how to describe it but like also my inner monoloue may comment???


A cat is soo good for your mental health. At my worst days, mine helpt me to get out of bed to feed and play with him. I believe there is a cat out there who likes to be inside and does not feel the need to go out. Sometimes they are traumatized by the outdoors and wish to stay in. Maybe you can make a little look out cage on your balcony?  There is a cat for everyone. haha Keep looking! #Adoptdontshop


My nan has had her gallbladder removed, she already has diabetes but she had gallbladder stones and so they removed it, she can't eat cheese or heavy cream but besides that she eats normally (of course she has to avoid certain foods due to her diabetes), but she is fine and still going strong, I would suggest getting the surgery to get rid of the pain 😊 you can do it, your strong and brave and you've been sky diving! You can do it I believe in you 😊👍


"Girls goes through trauma an her mind splits-"

....you should do research about DID\OSDD cause you pretty much described it [outside the mind reading super powers lol]

@doddlevloggle ahh okay. Was wondering. Cause recently came terms with having it [OSDD] and was curious if idea just came to you or knew about DID/OSDD


"how does your brain know what is real and what is not? i mean mine doesnt" KDKSFKSS ahh me


Waaaaiiiiiit!  If we have wholes in our bodies, how can the air stay in? omg I feel so stupid lol.


I have a running monologue but I also have ADHD so its the most random thing ever and I try and explain some of my monologues to others and they are always genuinely confused so?? Also they are the reason I can't sleep at night and its so annoying nothing works lol


Please, where did you buy you glasses? 🧡


I honestly think I have a constant inner monologue??? but then I thought that was normal??? man, minds are strange


lol this happened to me in middle school youll be ok


Missed opportunity to say gallbladderblabber.


You are deflated after lol, but little bubbles of the gas can get stuck and they travel up to your shoulders, which annoyingly, causes pain. But it does go away after some time! I had mine out in 2011 when i was 12. Recovery sucked cause my stomach hurt from the surgery itself, but after it was very worth it! And the scars are nothing at all, theyre only about a centimeter long and they basically look nonexistent once they fully heal. Good luck with everything! And happy early birthday!!


But like.... as you can imagine an apple, you could imagine a word or a phrase... isnt it?


Yeah... Sometimes you need to take stuff out though.


I have an inner monologue but it’s not running? It’s more like something I can opt in and out of through concentrating on my thoughts or on the world around me, and if I don’t have it then it’s not just like concepts and ideas bumping into each other all floating around in my brain it’s like, a single wordless train of thought, like the monologue just without words applied to it, and I’d say my thoughts are wordless like 85% of the time


Just wait long enough till your gallbladder dies then u have no choice. That's what I did.


3:32 dodie you better not be doing another ‘I hid a song in my videos’ again


Wow. Getting into some Platonic philosophy here


Yes change. Shift a little.Calm the scatter brain. Do the surgery. Slim down your cat searches to house cats minus gardens. You can take a cat out for a walk. It's possible. Do you know how many imaginary conversations I've had in my head with you and your friends in london? It keeps me sane at work. Speaking of removing organs, heck , I'm living with a dead person's liver in me. So, okay. There's that and my pills everyday, multiple times a day. Have I had to change? Yes. Change my diet? Yes. Short term pain is worth the long term health and life. I believe that you'll do the best choice for you and your comfort.


i just realized<br>mike messineo is the male version of dodie

i just realized
mike messineo is the male version of dodie


Wait. In the UK, they won’t let you adopt a cat if you don’t have a yard?! Are all your cats outside cats?


It sucks but don’t put it off, I had the pains for 4 years and avoided the doctors till I had the pain three times in one week then the following week on holiday physically couldn’t stand up cause of the pain☹ finally diagnosed with gallstones and waiting months for surgery, I totally get how horrible the pain is thiugh


Glasses r my kryptonite and doeiw ith glasses... i think i melt thru


Sorry about your your gall, had it 2 until it was removed after yards of morphine with no relief...


Didn’t she film the cover of waving trough a window on Thomas Sanders’ channel after this?


my cats are strictly indoors..... you definitely don’t need a gardeb


pls write the book🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺


That “so much” sounded awfully singy.... hidden song pt 2?


I get James veitch SuperHyperLiteral vibes by the thing about thoughts


My thoughts are half running monologue and half not words, just like how she was trying to explain it idk


okay so...<br>the apple thing nah i can't see an apple not very clearly. it is like an unfocused picture i can see the colour and that is it.  for the the thought process i definelfy do not have a running monolouge i just have words, memories etc running through my head at all times so i really need to think

okay so...
the apple thing nah i can't see an apple not very clearly. it is like an unfocused picture i can see the colour and that is it.  for the the thought process i definelfy do not have a running monolouge i just have words, memories etc running through my head at all times so i really need to think


why do you need a garden for a cat???? that's not a thing by me??? I am confusion


you dont like neeeeedd a garden for a cat if they have enough like enrichment and stuff right


my mind is a weird mix of a running monologue of poof poof poof poof <b>hand movements</b> lol its exhausting

my mind is a weird mix of a running monologue of poof poof poof poof *hand movements* lol its exhausting


Ok but I can think of the characteristics of apples, but I can't picture it? It's similar to how I can't picture faces?


Is she doing that thing where she hiding a song within her videos, it sounds a bit like it


You probably already did the surgery but just in case you haven’t..... Your life will be absolutely normal afterwards.  I had It done and my doctor said you can eat whatever you want!!! YES!  Anyways, yeah..you’ll be fine.


Why would the cats require a garden? You could just put it on a leash and take it outside.


maybe see a naturopath to see if theres any way to manage or reduce it? if not maybe have a look at getting a prescription to a verrrryy strong pain killer for when you need them i.e. endone or codine


Dodie I love you but I can't get past the fact you like twilight what's wrong with you<br>jk love you 😘

Dodie I love you but I can't get past the fact you like twilight what's wrong with you
jk love you 😘


Wait. There's people who don't think in words?!?


If you don't NEED it gone, don't get it taken out? Idk either


bruh same (the thoughts thing, like its a   w e b with like spiders eating the insects but the insects are escaping and another 3 spiders are weaving another web with more insects blablablablabla)


Dodie, I am a fan (saw you in Philly!) and a gastroenterologist. If you have a gallbladder polyp and are having such terrible symptoms, you should have it removed. Having it taken out using a laparoscope is safe and easy you should feel much better right away!  Do not be afraid of the procedure. You will do very well. I would be happy to be with you if you are in the states near New Jersey. I wish you the best and hope your feel better very soon.


The way you talk reminds me to much of Charlie it's uncanny


dodie you have no idea how much ive missed listening to you’re brilliant mind, glad to see you and excited to hear your new score.


how I've missed feeling calm hearing your voice for ten minutes at a time speaking about anything and everything, thank u dodie


I clicked on this as soon as I saw it, Dodie you always have the best timing, for when I'm sad, whether it's opening up Instagram to a funny story, or on the rare times opening YouTube to a video, you always cheer me up, you are amazing and you help me so much thank you :)


hi dodie! first of all, watching this video was such a treat, like having a chat with an old friend who you dont see often but still are very fond of. second of all, i had the kind of surgery that you mentioned last year (for diff reasons, but the surgery where they blow air in your tummy) and YES you absolutely fart the air out. its so funny but also kinda painful and youll be bloated and look pregnant for a lil while. it will go away tho. finally, it would be just lovely if you adopted a cat. i have always related to you and felt that we have gone through similar experiences at similar times in our lives (im also 24) and I've just adopted a cat so it would be SO COOL if you did it. looking forward to the next vid!


Welcome back, Dodes. I'm glad you're on the internet. I appreciate your wholesome energy.


A really weird thing about my inner monologue is that sometimes when I want to tell a complex story I kinda "rehearse" how I will tell my story in my mind so it makes sense. The thing is, sometime I wait too long, repeated the story like two or three times and cannot tell for the life of me if I told the story in real life or not. That means that in most cases, I just space out of conversations, don't listen to what is actually going on and sometimes don't talk at all. It's weird, I feel like a quieter brain would be more nice actually :)

(Kinda cool thing tho, since I'm bilingual I think in both english and french, depending on which I am speaking/writing/reading)


Yay, welcome back! A Dodie video always makes my day :)

(Also that book concept sounds really cool! I'd love to read it if you ever get around to writing it)


I love you dodie! just so you're aware! this is all I have to say! thank you for just talking and saying what's in your head it's very nice to hear!


I missed you so much, it feels so good to have a vlog like this and it came at a really rough time and it's just bringing me joy so thank you <3


i’m so glad that you’re no longer being super fearful of change! i’m glad you’re welcoming the future with open arms and are now yearning for change! we love you :) ❤


OHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED THAT LITTLE PEEK OF STRINGS AT THE END 10/10 <br>I'm so happy to see you uploading again, Dodie 💕 I hope you find more clarity regarding the stomach thing. I'm sending you lots of hugs and nice vibes from Argentina 🇦🇷✨

OHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED THAT LITTLE PEEK OF STRINGS AT THE END 10/10
I'm so happy to see you uploading again, Dodie 💕 I hope you find more clarity regarding the stomach thing. I'm sending you lots of hugs and nice vibes from Argentina 🇦🇷✨


You monologuing your thoughts really calms me down thank you hope you’re ok 😊


Cats can be perfectly happy in an apartment tho. I hope you find a cat dodie


I'm going through something very similar with my gallbladder! I've been dealing with intermittent pain since around early August or so and finally a surgeon told me last week that he recommends getting it removed, so that's gonna happen in late march. I'm about the same level of nervous about it as you are. Also, I turn 25 next month, too. Funny little coincidences and all that.


Me and my friend had a massive conversation about an internal monologue, I have one, she doesnt, I find it so annoying it's always so loud and honestly so constant, and half the time there's multiple layers and I can't turn it off, it's headache inducing, I sometimes,well most of the time, just wish it wasn't there and that thinking was simpler.


I genuinely missed her so much, I’m glad she made a video 🤍


DODIE one of my absolute favourite comedic things is the voiceover with the characters mouthing the same things so the whole story part was top notch humour for me


My first thought seeing her was this whole video sounds like an amazing podcast


Dodie I have missed you so much! I am so glad to hear you just talk about things again. It was never about getting advice from a 20 year old, it meant so much... It means so much to me because you said things that meant that I am not alone. Things about mental illness and fear of death and being turned off and everything... I can't speak for everyone, but you helped me. I understand when you became concerned about oversharing online and the problems therein but I hope you can continue chatting with us sometimes about what is going on. I hope it works out whatever you decide and you can be happy and healthy. I never wrote comments before because I assumed so many people will have already said what I have to say, but maybe... I should say it anyway. Just in case. Best Wishes.


Dodie, I know exactly what you went through. I had the same pain for months and got multiple scans. Then finally in October of 2019 the doctors found out it was my gallbladder and I got it removed. It's been about 4 months now and I feel so much better. Everyone's body is different so you may or may not need to change your diet as it is not an exact science. I have had to adjust my diet but just the amount of fat intake I have at the same time or in a day.


Also, I had an emergency appendectomy 3 years ago. Yes, having your stomach inflated is super trippy to think about, but the air <b>does</b> go away. The only crappy thing about being slim is that as they maneuver around they're working around muscle tissue rather than fat so you'll likely be sore just a little longer. It's worth it not to deal with the pain anymore though and not as debilitating as you might think.

Also, I had an emergency appendectomy 3 years ago. Yes, having your stomach inflated is super trippy to think about, but the air *does* go away. The only crappy thing about being slim is that as they maneuver around they're working around muscle tissue rather than fat so you'll likely be sore just a little longer. It's worth it not to deal with the pain anymore though and not as debilitating as you might think.


I had the same situation when I was 18! I waited a long time and the pain just became more frequent and i couldn’t sleep or eat. Getting it removed was the best decision (ended up having to get it emergency removed)!! Don’t have any pain anymore and never feel any of the side affects and it’s been 5 years since. I mostly eat well (vegetarian) but still can enjoy my fair share of treats! The pain isn’t worth waiting. It’s better on the gallbladderless side


I got my gallbladder out back in 2016 and it’s the best decision I’ve made . (( I am also scared of being put to sleep but it’s so worth it to remove the pain )) ❤❤


I would actually love another book from you!


I have the running monologue in my head  but contrary to your thoughts I find it really hard to vocalise my thoughts verbally and I stammer a lot trying to get the sentence out of my brain. Hope this helps x


Dodie!! It's always so nice to listen/watch your videos!! I hope you're doing okay.

About running monologues vs mix of feelings and memories. I have a mixture of both...and more. Like I have immediate thinking and separate (but not less confusing or contradictory) feelings, and then a layer of thinking reconsidering that thinking and feeling something else. And a monologue of what I 'want' to think and what I 'want' to feel over that. And then doubting and overanalyzing what I think.  Plus a whole mix of persistant intrusive thoughts. Its so tiring and I end up having no idea what I think or what to express. My mind is weird though. Idk if anyone can relate.


Hi Dodie! I have had my gallbladder removed and it is fine! Seriously the relief of not having the pain was worth it. You will be in quite a bit of pain and tender and delicate for about 3 weeks whilst you heal. But I havent had to change my diet at all. If I eat an especially fatty food then I may need to run to the toilet, but other than that, it's all normal! You'll be fine :) <3


dodie I know that the internet and YouTube can be really problematic at times, and it is good that you are taking better care of your relationship with posting--but may I just say, THANK YOU FOR MAKING A VIDEO AND POSTING IT IT MADE ME SO HAPPY SO SO SO SO HAPPY THANK YOU


I feel like my thoughts happen in the way Dodie edits - like snippets of ideas all on top of each other...


Dude glad to see you back! Even if it's once in a while


okay but me and literally everyone i know has the running monolauge and it's so strange to me that some people just don't ,, book style narrate their lives and feelings at all times n constantly! it definitely does help my writing tho because it feels like i'm practicing all the time lol


Same!! :'( I've just recently learned I have sludge in my gallbladder (which eventually turns into stones). It's caused me pain (but no where near as much as you're describing). I was told I'd eventually need surgery but I really don't want to get it done either. xD I've already changed my diet and that helps so much with keeping the pain away. So many people tell me they feel so much better after it's gone but yeah, I've only had two bad episodes with it. One recently and one 3 years ago so I'm not too eager to get it taken out (while those people probably were begging to have it taken out). Your situation sounds pretty serious though. I know here in America, surgery is their to go option but I'm not sure if it's the same there. If they're suggesting it then it might be necessary. But yeah, It's so weird how it's so common for women to have gallbladder issues. I hope everything works out for you!!


I love your brain so much. I wish I could think like you. 🥰 please make for videos of you talking, there so relaxing


Dodie, the ‘air’ they pump you up with in theatre does come out eventually! You might get a bit of shoulder pain or tummy pain but then you will eventually burp or fart it out😂doesn’t sound logical but that’s how it works x


You should totally do short stories!  I would love to read those!

Also that LITERALLY sounds like a film score, I love it already.


i mean, i have the monologue, sentences, words thoughts and it’s still VERY hard for me to articulate my thought and feelings and talk like a human


I literally had my gallbladder removed today. Like, nine hours ago. I had the keyhole surgery and it took an hour. The post-op pain is really weird, just like stuff is shifting around and the incisions hurt (I have 4), but it's not unbearable. I don't know yet how effective it is because hey, nine hour ago, but it was far less scary than I expected. I know you'll make the right decision for you, but as someone who has severe medical anxiety, it was doable. As long as someone you love is with you, you'll be okay.


I didn’t realize how much I fucking missed her. Love you dodie


My thoughts come like sentences in my head and I have a non stop internal monologue that can get quite annoying, but I visualise stuff when I'm day dreaming or imagining up scenarios/creating things. And along with that comes feelings, but the monologue is what is most prominent.


dodie!!! PLEASE write a song about that feeling of "deciding whether to take that leap of change or to just keep everything the way it was" because just hearing you speak briefly about it made something click for me and i'm not sure what it was, but i saw the lightbulb come on in my head!!!


In the Patrick Ness books, they have thoughts that everyone can hear, but they aren't all monologues and they are blurts of words and raw emotions. It's a great concept.


dodie!! my god its been awhile!
anyways im hear to tell you that my thoughts are that monologue thingie and i can hear my own voice in my head (pretty sure everyone can?) but i can also hear my friends voices too!! like wabam in my head right now there is my friend jenna saying what i am writing down (abble babble bobble dobble doddleoddle) idk if everyone has this or not but maybe you think its cool?
anyways luv ya! :D


Damn this makes me realise how much I've missed your just general random chat videos


i've always described the way i think as "three separate screenplays running at the same time",, where i technically have a monologue but it jumps and skips and there's never just one train of thought!


we've been blessed with a dodie video thank you thank you


I think in both words, pictures, and concepts. The way I think of it is like when you're silently reading a book and your brain is using different "techniques" to experience it depending on what the words on the page are focussing on.


Hey dodie, I've had gallstones and experienced that night time pain (I called them 'attacks') and I know how truly terrible and traumatic they are! I wanted to be cut open too! And girl, I highly recommend you get the surgery. It's nbd and you will NOT have pain that is anywhere close to what you've experienced afterwards (I was a bit sore for a week while it healed but had a lovely morphine prescription so didn't feel much at all most days). Regarding the diet/weight stuff...I did actually develop a lactose intolerance afterwards and I sometimes have problems with acid reflux but that is NOTHING compared to the pain. Like gaviscon makes the reflux go away every time and personally, I wanted to be vegan anyways. Gallstones are very genetic - my family had them for 3 generations before me! - and if you don't get rid of the gallbladder, you will get more and more of these lumps and they will become more and more debilitating and might cause a range of other health problems. My great grand mother died from complications relating to her gallstones. I don't mean to scare you! Have a good long chat with your doc about all of your concerns, all the risks etc. and make an informed decision. Ask me more about this if you like!! And solidarity babe, from one sufferer to another x


you know I remember when you first started talking about this pain and I had just had my gallbladder out and I commented that it sounded similar, very very weird.I find that a position that helped was one knee to my chest and the other stretched out???


dodie dodie dodie, I’ve had an organ removed, and indeed it was the gallbladder. So has my mother and one of my brothers. I certainly debated it because I didn’t have the pain all that often either but eventually I agreed that it would be worth it to go through the surgery. I wasn’t a big fan of going into hospital to have a surgeon mess around my abdomen but it was just fine. I arrived, got into a gown and they warmed me up with a bair hugger, which is a small machine that plugs into a special gown and blows warm air. Sounds odd but it’s true. Noted this was in Canada but I can’t imagine it’s much different in the UK. Got a IV placed and walked into the operating room, laid down on the table, looked up at the ceiling and realized not every operating room is nearly as fancy as what’s on Grey’s Anatomy. Breathed in through a mask, got the meds through the IV that knock you out and I was asleep. Next thing I remember I was in the recovery room saying sappy things to the nurse because I get oddly emotional when I’m on anaesthesia. When I got home I basically just spent the whole day asleep in a lazy boy chair. And for me the hardest part of recovery was just figuring out how to sleep in bed because my body ached when I laid flat for the first little bit. Now a year later I have a few small scars and my diet hasn’t had to change. Yes, some people do have to alter their diet a little but there is also the chance that you’ll be able to eat like normal. Now I know this was a long spiel but if you’ve managed to get to the end I hope it’s help settle some concerns you have in regards to the surgery if you do decided to go through with it. PS: it’s a very common surgery, at least here. Sincerely, me.


My thoughts are full sentences with feelings mixed in. If I ever try to say or write exactly what I'm thinking, it disappears too fast for me to get it all.


my thoughts are like that to! sometimes i try to have coherent sentences in my head or make up conversations but then my brain gets distracted and i forget what i was thinking.


As someone with an inner monologue, I can confirm that it is not easier to talk. Maybe it’s just cause I’m socially anxious but my thoughts literally stumble and slow down while I’m talking and it’s like my mouth is unsupervised and it makes my anxiety worse lmao


with my running monologue its like jumbled thoughts as it runs really fast, too fast id think to write down everything or form words and sentences and tell stories with sometimes.


what a lovely video! also i don’t think you need a garden for a cat mine is a totally indoor cat :)


This video reminds me a bit of how drunk history is. I love it.


it kinda sounds like you're singing some sentences, it's nice to listen to :) <br>(Another "Arms Unfolding" hidden song, perhaps?)

it kinda sounds like you're singing some sentences, it's nice to listen to :)
(Another "Arms Unfolding" hidden song, perhaps?)


So we’re the exact opposite when it comes to brain stuff. I have full complete monologues of thoughts  but visually my mind is blank. I can think of how to describe an apple like “round” or “red with a stem and a leaf” “possibly hanging from a tree” but i just see black when I close my eyes. Similarly to you with Twilight I always thought that the idea of counting sheep to be completely ridiculous. I didn’t know that some people are actually able to fully visualize a sheep jumping over a fence because to me it’s always been impossible.


I have a running monologue in my head but its only really when I'm alone. It's to the point where I forget if I'm talking to myself out loud or just thinking. I'm not entirely sure how my thinking is when I'm around people but I know that I do have a really hard time getting my thoughts across to others. I can imagine/explain things to myself and they make SO much sense but once I try to explain it someone else it's really difficult to get my thoughts across. It's to the point where I'm constantly asking people if what I'm saying makes sense. This occurs often times over text lol. Idk ppl are weird... brains are weird and beautiful and aaaafshkfs <3


I've had my gall bladder removed. The surgery wasn't bad, it's pretty non invasive now. Side note: I lost 20 lbs in 20 days because I didn't know what to eat, so I ate nothing while working at a very physical job. White rice takes very little bile to digest and doesn't typically hurt to digest. Saved my life.


1. This video was perfect, Dodie I miss your spirit!<br>2. Wait, why do cats need a garden? I'm so confused

1. This video was perfect, Dodie I miss your spirit!
2. Wait, why do cats need a garden? I'm so confused


please oh please write that book! we'd love to read it :)


I find the garden thing so interesting. I don't how it is in the rest of the US, but where I am, shelters want people to keep their adopted cats strictly indoors.


love random thoughts. would you like to revisit your first music video and do a re-singing (lol) with all your knowledge and style like you have now?


My mom literally just got her gallbladder taken out 2 days ago, I assume they did the balloon-y method (i'm across the country going to school, so I'm not there with her), and she says she's recovering fine, she says her stomach is sore, and she's farting a lot, so there's your answer for where the air goes. Also bodies and organs and stuff are usually very adaptable, as long everything is connected okay it functions pretty much fine.
Also I relate about the lack of an internal monologue, I feel like sometimes i have one, but then sometimes I don't. I know when I was a kid I didn't really have one. It was always like a task list that would pop up in my brain, like they weren't words so much as like... knowings? I don't know. But I remember I used to stay up late because I couldn't sleep and I'd stare at my walls and posters and just like write stories about them in my head, and also have weird existential thoughts pop up, but I don't know that it was ever really a monologue. I remember I even tried to force myself to have an internal monologue like actively thinking words, but it always felt weird. But at the same time now, it's like sometimes I have an internal monologue, but sometimes it's just like blank space and pop ups?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Brains are weird.


I would get random intense pain in my stomach/chest region (felt like I'd been stabbed) and it was eventually diagnosed as gall stones gouging me in the main pancreatic bile duct and so had the surgery to remove my gallbladder. I won't go into the gory details as it might put you off, but ultimately it's now fine and I have no more pain and I've had no problem eating occasional fatty foods such as pepperoni pizzas from Papa Johns, and the like, ever since. Wouldn't recommend living off pizzas, but I wouldn't recommend that for anyone. So, my advice is get it seen to - the miserable all-night pains I once suffered is simply not worth putting up with for the sake of an organ you can comfortably live without.


John Green also had his gallbladder removed I'm pretty sure, if you want someone to ask about that.
I could be wrong, so if you do ask him and he has no clue what you're talking about I apologize.
Good luck Dodie!


Hey, Dodie, I think in strings of words, full sentences, and the like. Sometimes it like jumps around. <br>I'm bad at talking outloud.

Hey, Dodie, I think in strings of words, full sentences, and the like. Sometimes it like jumps around.
I'm bad at talking outloud.


I think you should read the book “Evermore” it’s about a girl who has a car crash and she loses her family and she comes out of it being about to sense peoples auras and she can get a sense of what people are thinking. It sounds a lot like what you are thinking of writing


I have a running monologue and I have problems overanalyzing my thoughts. I also don't talk that much (except to close friends) because I will literally edit my own sentences. I'll think about what I will say and then adjust it over and over until the conversation has moved on.


hi dodie! my mum had her gallbladder removed, she’s no longer suffering from any pain, but she’s very sad that she can no longer digest avocado and cucumber. gotta weigh your pros n cons


I had my gallbladder removed last May at the age of 21. I dealt with the same type of pain you're talking about (although I had stones and not a growth).
I'm not scared of surgery or being put under, so I can't speak to that, but please. Please please please get it removed (if that's the treatment your doctor recommends).
The pain you are living with is horrendous and this surgery eliminates it.
The surgery took less than an hour, and I was home an hour after I woke up. I've got a couple small scares on my stomach, and the only long-lasting effect is a heightened sensitivity to dairy and spicy foods (although I definitely still eat both of those things....)


wow I really really enjoy this video. I needed that. :')

also, get a damn cat dodie. Why do they say a garden is mandatory for a cat? It's not?


this video is the definition of character development


When you said you must talk all the time I was just like hahaha noooo I like sitting with my thoughts in my head


I miss your vlogs so much, let me have more please


i couldn’t write down all of my thoughts thERES TOO MANNYYYYY it’s sentences but it’s just a never ending flow from one thing to the next it goes so fast


Wait did she ever finish her sentence?? Instead of reading minds by hearing what ppl are thinking, how does the protagonist read minds?


I’m one of the people that has a running monologue in my head basically like it’s all words in basically coherent sentences sometimes multiple sentences. And though you would think talking would be easy it’s not cause my brain moves faster than my mouth and sometimes I jumble up words. Maybe it’s different for others that think like me but I often struggle with translating my fast thoughts into words others understand. Cause I think in phrases that I understand while others don’t have my brain. Idk I hope that was insightful :)


I feel the same about change!! I used to be the "responsible friend," but lately, I guess because of my first real heartbreak, I've wanted change so much. I dyed my hair 3 different colors, I signed up for classes that I never thought I would take, my songwriting style is so much different and experimental now... It's crazy. Also, my fellow song writers. Do you think it's weird to perform songs about exes? Best friends, lovers, family members. Because when I sing them to myself it's fine, I'm just practicing, you know? But then performing them in front of other people, I feel like I'm just talking shit about the people who used to be in my life and that it'll get back to them and cause conflict. Maybe it's just my job though. But writing songs about my vulnerability, especially in reguards to a manipulative relationship, feels like I'm giving my ex the upper hand and if she wanted to she could use what I wrote about to convince me to be with her again. God, who knows. Love you Dodie


How could anyone leave a negative comment on a video that is this wholesome and real. I just don’t understand


yes i always have a running monologue of thoughts and sometimes it’s bloody difficult bc I THINK SO FAST SO THERES THIS FAST VOICE GOING IN MY HEAD! but when it’s a feeling like “i want that” i’ll feel it first then think “i want that” as a sentence. but if i’m like thinking through something, like “i have to go here, then do this, etc” it’s a HUGE WALL OF TEXT AND SHIT IN MY HEAD. diary entries are so fucking tiring bc i think of words way faster than my hand can write them. i could fill an entire diary per day if i could somehow write as fast as the words come to mind


So I have a running dialogue in my head but it is as if every thought is me telling someone something that has happened in the past or something that I am doing. Also I've realized it's kinda like as if I was vlogging and explaining everything I'm doing.


you are so entertaining in who you are that you don’t even need music or anything in the background, you are just so cute and interesting


My thoughts are definitely monologue! But no, it doesn't make talking easier. I practice conversations in my head before having them, but the actual conversation is just a jumble of "I dont know what I'm talking about." Then after the conversation, I run through all of the ways I could have done better! Internal me is capable of being quite witty and charming. Real me is a train wreck. Your way of thinking seems really cool! I never realized how differently people's thoughts work.


An inner monologue is probably one of the reasons I do find it so natural to write, but it doesn't come without its downsides aha. I swear sometimes I wish I would just shut up and give myself peace.


Dodie: sings some words
Me: owo? a new song?

Dodie: *sings some words*
Me: owo? a new song?


i don’t know if i have an inner monologue or not because when i try to plan things out in my head, i have to say it out loud or my thoughts get jumbled. so i guess i’m incapable of having an inner monologue because my other thoughts will creep in and take over and make it a mess so yes dodie, i understand what you mean. ALSO i can not wait for more music and please release the orchestral music you have written so that i can cry to it 24/7


also yeah I have an inner monologue all the time lmao but it's all over the place and switches up very fast but I do think in sentences. I can not imagine not thinking in sentences. I also am very bad at imagining things like in my head even though I'm an artistic person and like I imagine things and I see them but like when I close my eyes I can't create a picture but I know what it looks like? anyway thanks for listening


I THINK LIKE YOU AND I TOLD PEOPLE ABOUT IT AND THEY DID NOT UNDERSTAND OMG THANK YOU


Wait why do you need a garden for a cat? I’ve never heard of this requirement.


Oh fuckjk I relate to the internal monologue thing, when this whole thing started arising on the internet I was like “well of course I have an internal monologue!” But then I realized people actually think in sentences like waht!???? Mine is just a mish mash of images and words and like you said, worries and memories in the background. Maybe that’s why I have such a difficult time writing and talking hehe


All the rescues here don't want the cats outside ever (even in the garden) so it's odd to hear about rescues requiring a garden!


3.30 I can't tell if dodie singing is her trying to hide another song in her videos or a coping mechanism for the anxiety of loSInG An oRgaN


Btw you can imagine that they blow up your abdominal cavity with co2 (like a balloon) and then through the pipe they used to inflate it they deflate it before they sew up that hole so that it is air tight.


Hiya! If you like cats that like cuddles, a Persian cat might be the way to go! I have one and he loves to snuggle anyone and everyone. Hehe. Also, about the running monologue thing, I have one of those kinds of minds and I happen to be a writer of sorts. It’s not very easy but it’s a good way to get everything out of my head. Also, I’m a really crappy speaker. I always stutter or my words get scrambled and what I mean to say comes out as a completely different sentence. 🤷♀


My little sister had to have her spleen and gallbladder removed (we both have a hereditary blood disorder and removing these organs can be beneficial if it's really affecting you) and she is fine. Keyhole surgery looks weird but it's a lot nicer than them having to fully cut you open so thats the trade off. You'll be okay. <3 And I find it very doubtful you'd be in constant pain afterwards.


i FEEL you about cats. I so badly want a cat but you need to prePARE and there's so much you have to get ready and I'm like. just give me cat please.


The air is slowly absorbed throughout your body. Some of it will get trapped under the skin. GENTLE massage helps those bubbles to get broken down. It will be... Sore, but not painful. That's what it's been like for me anyway. Also I highly recommend taking a gentle laxatives post GA. Hope you feel better.


Cats...require gardens? Is this a UK thing? I’m American and all my cats, plus the majority of cats that my friends have, are strictly indoor. Sometimes we will let my cat outside to hang out a little but never more than that. Also- glad you got some new info on your health, I know you’ll make the right decision. Much love to you miss💕


Dodiiiieeee  please check your insta dms for literally dozens of cats


My thoughts are often in the form of an internal dialogue.


i have a constant internal monologue thats pretty much all complete sentences. ngl its hell. ive done it for as long as i can remember !


3:32 i swear to god if she does that singing thing again...

Quick! Write this down!


I've missed you. btw if you want to adopt a cat but the shelter won't give you one, just go to the street, find a cat that needs you and adopt it. that's what I did with two of my cats after the only shelter in my city informed me that they don't take in anymore cats. (I'm also fostering a sick pregnant cat that again the shelter wont take)


don't listen to anything i say
me having watched her I am depressed today over 40,000 times

don't listen to anything i say
*me having watched her I am depressed today over 40,000 times*


Awwww u r so bubbly and glowing i can't... Welcome back


My thoughts are feeling but not emotionally more like touch and my thoughts are in a monologue but when I have a though that is more like touch or warmth it's hard to articulate. But when I'm thirsty I know because I look up and think the words I should go get water <b>shigh</b>

My thoughts are feeling but not emotionally more like touch and my thoughts are in a monologue but when I have a though that is more like touch or warmth it's hard to articulate. But when I'm thirsty I know because I look up and think the words I should go get water *shigh*


I rly would consider blocking ppl who make u feel bad, like all of em, what u got to lose 😘


One time I fainted and busted my head open on the floor and I was home alone and so I called my mom to come and get me and she was 40 minutes away talkin about calling me an ambulance and I said ‘absolutely not I’m already gonna have to pay over 4000 for whatever tf’s about to go down I’m not about to be another 3000 in debt for the fuckin ambulance’ so our neighbor had to drive me.


I think i have the monologue thing, not when I’m talking to other people or doing something tho it’ll be like when I’m alone or just walking around or whatever


Am I the only one being paranoid of Dodie hiding secret songs in her video now?


Here in my country is very common to find people without gallbladder (removed because of stones). My aunt and my uncle had theirs removed and they eat normal, they don't follow diets and twenty years have passed and they're allright. It's ok because the bile keeps falling down the tube and falling on your almost-digested food as well, breaking the fats. So that's it, not that scary. My mom has to get hers removed as well. It's not a dangerous surgery and usually you leave the hospital the next day 🤷🏻♀


the running monologue in my head is not something to be jealous over, i promise. first of all it's not always full sentences, i too have songs and memories playing and random images. but yea it's just an overwhelming assault of words that do NOT make me speak better (they don't help with stuttering and sometimes they make me speak WORSE) and it almost feels like my anxiety and depression is worse because i can SEE the words in my head


Oh my gosh when she said "It has a name" I thought she meant she named her tumor omg


dodie I love you PLEASE LEAVE THE WORDS ON THE SCREEN FOR LONGER THAN .5 seconds please please please I can’t ever read what it is and trying to pause it on the exact 1/2 a second and I really want to know what you have to say 💕


I have a running monologue... I think. It's all so weird. Anyway, it's cool, but it doesn't make me good at speaking because you can't focus on monologuing while having a conversation. It does help me to understand myself though.


I have been gallbladder free for a year. My life is so much better than it was now that that pain is gone. I started out similarly to you, pain every couple of months. It was annoying but not enough to want the surgery. Eventually the time between pain got less and less... I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep (I lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks). I collapsed at work from the pain and ended up in the hospital for 4 days. When they finally removed it, it was painful but I was practically back to normal in 2 weeks. I don't miss that pesky organ. I hope you are able to figure out what is best for you though. 💕


you don't need a garden for a cat, you just need to adopt an older cat who will just sleep all day like mine do :p


but the thing is, my running monologue is me narrating my life in third person . do you understand-- sometimes i will blurt out this narration-- i will fucking say out loud something incredibly stupid like "Ili made herself comfortable in her seat", do you understand how fucking crazy that is, it's even in the fucking past tense! dodie, love, you are only too lucky to not have that running through your mind.

but the thing is, my running monologue is _me narrating my life in third person_ . do you understand-- sometimes i will _blurt out_ this narration-- i will fucking _say out loud_ something incredibly stupid like "Ili made herself comfortable in her seat", do you understand how fucking _crazy_ that is, it's even in the fucking past tense! dodie, love, you are only _too_ lucky to not have _that_ running through your mind.


i don’t think you need a garden for a cat. i have three cats and they’re all indoor cats, so they never go outside.


dodie i had keyhole surgery when I was 13 and it was okay. the worst part about it was the pain. just make sure they have painkillers ready for you when you wake up and you’ll be fine.


but also I would love a ten minute video of you saying missing an organ


The health system in the UK has a way of making you feel guilty if you're overreacting or feeling like your wasting their time in any way. I'd like to think they'd assure you otherwise, and try to spend enough time with every patient, but it's often in, out nothing was wrong, or it was your fault and now I feel bad because they've basically told you off and not tried to reassure you in any way.


dODIE PLS how much would I have to pay you to write a score for my senior thesis for film school 🥺🥺


you do not need a garden for a cat? what about inside cats? what about a leash?


Oh gosh i searched the gallbladder surgery and now i am freaking out over something that hasn’t happened to me oh gosh oh


My auntie got sepsis after a key hole surgery but she’s fine now lol


On the topic of the thoughts, mine are like a combo of sentences and the pictures and colors and everything like that. It's a hot mess up there which explains a lot


Wait you need a garden to have a cat?? What about indoor cats? The garden thing definitely is not a thing in America


hey i had key hole surgery and yes you do fart out the gas. 😂😂


Is dodie gonna do that lyric thing again? Vlogs!!!!!!!!!!!


so do a plant tour or something because i am seeing that alocasia zebrina in the background and i would die for her.


Wait they take out your entire gallbladder?  I thought they just removed the 1cm lump?


I have a running monologue, but I can't translate feelings into words


So you have no internal voice, thats really cool


Lol I thought everyone had an internal monologue? It’s not really a constant stream like you sort of see memories and thoughts and stuff. It’s almost like you’re vlogging all the time. It’s not fun especially with anxiety because most of the time it’s like “theyhateyoutimetogobecausetheydontwantyouhereokletsgoooobye”


I typically have a daydream or song playing (#maladaptive daydreamer) and tHEN my lil monologue


1. Dodie seems sort of different don’t you think? I mean of course she does because people change as they grow and all that but it’s just funny to see I guess. 2. Is it just me or does she sort of sound like she’s doing the singing thing again like she did with Arms Unfolding? I mean, would she even do that again? I’m not sure. It just seems like she might be doing that and my heart was so happy when she announced that she had done it the first time and maybe I just want it again lol I don’t know


do you not have an internal monologue? there are lots of videos on that.


My brain is so similar it's kind of scary

It's not a running monologue, it's a stream of thoughts that have to be converted as best they can into the word(s) that suit them best and then those words strung together into a somewhat meaningful sentence for me to talk at all


If you wanna know where the gas goes it’s pretty weird but not bad at all if there’s any left it makes it’s way up to your shoulder and sort of just phases out through the muscle and stuff. I don’t know why!! But I know you have a little bit of pain there after surgery :)


What happened to the cat bananajamana got for you that she kept on your behalf?


“I love twilight. It’s a great series” look dodie I love you but no


YAYAYAYYAYAYAY STRINGS IN YOUR MUSIC I CANNY WAIITTTTTT


I’m one of the weird constant monologue people!


I always have an inner monologe ??? i thought everyone did????


Dodes are you going to tour in the USA in 2020 more?


People have different thought processes? dAmn


Your doing the thing were your singing in secret and hiding itttt hehehehe


If it makes you feel better horses don’t have gall bladders so you’ll be like a pony


OMGYOUSANGALINEFROMYOURALBUMTHATCAMEOUTTHISYEARBUTDIDNTEXSISTOMG

3:43 its not my fault........... i was raised on open mouths and teary eyes OMG


my brain is just empty all the time lol idk what yall are talking about. having thoughts? overrated.


BRO IDK IF THE UK GETS THESE BUT THERE ARE CONSTANT COMMERCIALS ON THE TV ABOUT THIS CONDITION!! WISH YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN ONE EARLIER :(


So, what was the plot of the mindreading superhero girl?


So the air is trapped in your body and it rises to your collarbones and it aches and hurts a few days to a week later, I'd say that was the worst about keyhole surgery but painkillers will help


The air goes out your shoulder! Which is weird, because your shoulder doesn't have an air hole but it will just leave through your skin eventually after your shoulder aches for a few days. Gall bladder removals are a super safe and easy operation and a lot of people actually don't need to change their diet, you just have to watch out and not eat super fatty fast food and meat every day because that puts extra strain on your liver (I think). What I'm trying to say: your going to be great, don't worry!


I think with sentences and don't be jealous, It is hideous. There is this talking bitch in your mind, talking so fast and yelling to you about things you do wrong. It talks so fast that it gives me anxiety. And when I yell back to it, it calls me "drama queen" over and over and keeps me awake just talking shit about me. It is the sound of anxiety. And no, you have to translate your thoughts trough words because it talks so fast and complicated. You don't understand a shit. But that is my thoughts, I'm sure someone out there is very happy with their speaking mind. Anyways love you <3 and I WİSH I could see that emotional mind shape some people got.


I hade the keyhole thing. It was terrible when I woke up


Have you been watching Drunk History? hahaha


No, so I think constantly in proper phrases and sentences, but I can't get words out properly and often lose my words. It makes no sense


maybe you feel like you need some change because of the new traumas like no more kitty and your new illness

i think maybe try to calm your brain and take some time to cry over kitty cat and focus on your stomach and maybe prepare yourself for the surgery and know that a lot of peoples dont have their gull bladders

the stomach pain should be your number 1 focus right now and how to deal with that

maybe take some walks and reflect on the good parts of life but dont do anything to crazy that might make your brain more confused

let the new problems be accepted first and i think you might end up wanting the surgery and then once having it wish you had it sooner

i am sorry you need to deal with all of this but you will figure things out in your own way


You should call the lump Mrs Extravaganza Higginbotham because why the fuck not


your hair is so long 😫 I love it but like it’s crazy cause I’m used to the short hair


I’m SO FUCKIBG EXCITED for the reply to the dear 25 year video holy shit.


i have a running monologue of thoughts, is that bad?


Not everyone comes off anesthesia badly.


My mom had her gallbladder removed after finding stones in it a few years ago and recovery was fine and easy and she’s been a-okay and pain free ever since!


I love these so much they bring me so much joy I could watch her talk about anything and with all the cute mannerisms and sound effects and facial expressions it would still be so enjoyable. Ahhh thank you for all of the content you share with us!!!


Alright can I just say I freaking LOVE the way this video was made. When dodie posts, it’s SOOOO worth it.<3333


Sending you mad love and support!! ❤❤ Good luck with all this it sounds like a lot and I'm super excited for your new music! ❤❤❤❤


Okay I missed your videos more than I thought. I love watching videos of yours like this and just hearing you ramble. Love you dodes 💜


Wow I feel weirdly settled by this video. I had a weird emotional day, and just knowing someone else is having a hard time grasping their emotions and feeling a bit 'brain-soupy' made me feel less alone 💕


I am so happy that this exists! If feeding the internet safe thoughts is something you feel comfortable to do please keep doing it. So nice to have you back doing it, feels like a comfy cardigan you find at the back of the wardrobe and when you put it on it feels like home. Have missed your vlogs! 🌼


missed this kind of content from you dodie!!! you have such a calming presence and I could listen to you rambling for hours :)


Just watch it. I love you. I miss you already. But mostly important: I’m happier after hearing from you. Wishing you well and good vibes with these procedures. Lots of love! Bye


This thought stuff is so interesting! I sometimes literally do just sit and write my stream of thoughts/ monologue it’s such a therapeutic thing bc you just get it all out then you can read it back and like laugh at how overthinky they are hehe


i love u dodie. literally everytime i watch your videos or listen to your songs, it helps me with whatever feelings i have bottled up 💛


I've missed you!! The bit where you played the doctor and they were like "what the fuck is wrong" with that calm expression just made my evening. I'm so excited for the new music and the reaction video!! 💖


Oh how I missed Dodie <3 wishing you all the happiness xx


I’m finally not alone in thinking twilight is an amazing series! Thank you dodie! Everyone else is just jumping on the bandwagon of hating, I’m convinced. Also your pain sounds almost like gallstones


Hey Dodie! I have had gallstones and got turned away multiple times with “stomach bugs” etc etc until eventually I got given a scan that showed my stones. I had my gallbladder removed through key hole and I can honestly say it was absolutely fine. I was fully back to normal and in no pain within a week or two. I’ve luckily had no problems at all and no changes since having my gallbladder out other than the fact I have no pain now!🎉  I would definitely recommend getting it removed, the best thing I have done definitely x

Please don’t hesitate to ask me any questions you may have, I’ve had mine out for 2 years now 🥰


i’m the exact same! constantly have a song going or a memory or what someone has said to me. each one has its own little place in my head


I have monologue thoughts (I'm also able to see pictures in my head pretty clearly) and it's always a constant stream of different wants and feelings and words. One moment I won't be thinking of anything then the next moment I'll think "what I went and ate a whole bowl of pasta right now", then I'll think "what am I doing with my life" all in the course of a couple seconds.


i hope the surgery goes well for you! take your time, the internet can be scary. do stuff at your own pace and we'll all be here cheerin for ya :)


I have the weird emotion/abstractly thoughts too! I've found that I have them less often than I have the monologue, but they do happen and they're weirdly so much more intense. Like, I can wake up from a dream that was super abstract and full of pictures and colors and such crying because it is just so much more intense than the monologue.


this vid made me so calm, I don't know why but it absolutely did <3


Dodie, I somehow lost touch with you for about a year and watching this video, I realized how much I've missed you.  You are delightful.


I've missed these, glad you're (sort of?) back in longer form than IG stories.

We used to have cats at home and I miss those too. I looked up my local animal shelter and they're looking for volunteers so maybe I'll do that (can't actually have pets where I live rn).


I think you give good advice. A lot of the stuff you've said about bad relationships really helped me. Don't talk yourself down. :)


God girl, I’m 21 and have watched your videos/listened to your music throughout... basically all of my major life changes. Middle school, high school, college, and now the “real world”. Accepting change has always been a basic impossibility for me, but your music sort of... accompanied me throughout all of that? In a comforting way.  And so I’m so sorry you’ve had the same struggles, or think some of your advice was bad (maybe it was? I’m 21 what do I know lmao),  but goddamn through that you managed to help a hell of a lot of people. Myself included. So thanks :)


love this video! lovely chat! the thoughts thing is so fascinating, i sort of experience both??

also new MUSIC YES


Omg that score sounds amazing! Just listening to that little snippet reminds me of how I felt listening to the score during buckbeaks flight in prisoner of Azkaban. ❤


i missed these videos!!!! so much!!!! ik you’re probably seeing this in every comment lol but we really did!!!! thank you for returning here even if it’s just for a short time; seeing how much you’ve grown and flourished but with the same smiley rambly whims is so delightful :’’) i hope your operation goes well! i can’t wait to hear your new music!!!! aaaah i’m just so excited for this new video i can’t stop using exclamation!!!!!! i love u so much dodes <3 <3


I have a very intense, very loud monologue in my head! It's legitimately like somebody is talking to me. It might seem great, but it also means that all of the negative internal feelings I get come blasting at me in excruciating verbal detail. Also for me there isn't just one monologue, but multiple! So instead of being able to speak easily, I get caught up in an internal argument and my sentences come out garbled.


I've also always thought that written-out sentence thoughts in books are unrealistic bc I hardly ever think in full sentences either, like if I do they're coming too fast to really recognize


you're so wonderful to listen to, very comforting voice :) my mind is also all over the place, no coherence at all. strongly relating


Even though I've known this for some time it always baffled me when people bring up the fact there are people out there who don't think in words? Like... What is your brain?

Also Dodie you'd think it would be easy to describe how you are feeling and talking would be easy if you thought in words but it's not.

My head is just words floating around and sometimes I'll start talking and my brain won't realise it and so I won't have any idea what I just said.

Which it usually turns out to be word vomit that makes no sense.

Also feelings such because my brain doesn't know what to do with them and assigns feelings to random words.

I've figured out that pineapple is excitement
cold is tired and/or hungry
Yum is happy

Those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head but there's more and it's puzzle figuring out what I'm feeling sometimes.


I went through an emergency appendectomy and was TERRIFIED of being put under + the key hole surgery but tbh it was totally fine, modern medicine is a wonder. My mom also went through an emergency gallbladder removal- also totally chill. Don't worry.


just wanted to comment on the running monolog bit, when you said, "surely it's so easy to talk for you"
for me, as a person who thinks in a running monolog, it's hard and easy. yes, words are always available, but sometimes it's the words you think first, the ones that are too emotional and not quite right yet. I usually have to talk out loud to a person, or argue with myself internally, to figure out exactly what I'm thinking or exactly what I want to do.
it's amazing, to me, that someone can think in raw feeling and visuals. that mind must be so creative and beautiful. mine is just me or an internal critic making observations or bickering all day. I wish I had more music and memories just floating all day


I recently got my gallbladder out, I’m only 19 so it was really embarrassing cause how young I am, idk it just made me feel self conscious but I honestly cannot recommend the surgery enough, sure I had a little anxiety leading up to it but when I woke up and it was finally done it was such a weight off my shoulders, no more being hunched over on the floor not being able to scream or move because of the pain, it is so worth it!! anyways enjoy my little ramble love you dodie


I do have a running monologue, but I get really tripped up over my words when I try to articulate what I'm thinking. It's like my mouth can't keep up with my head sometimes, it's odd
it's the worst when I'm writing, I feel as if I ramble and go on tangents or just flow through different thoughts. When I read it back I think its bad or that it only makes sense to me.
AHH minds and brains are so INTERESTING


You are explaining the exact kind of pain I get, I’ve always just assumed it’s gas.... crap. 😖


You've changed so much and have so much more insight and I love that go u


I ACTUALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD I WISH I COULD COMMUNICATE HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME


Hiya! I just had my gallbladder removed in October. I was in pain for YEARS because I was convinced it was a symptom of my Crohn’s Disease. Nope! It’s been my gallbladder causing this excruciating pain. The surgery honestly isn’t that bad at all. You wake up pretty sore and bloated as FUCK, and I have four tiny scars on my abdomen, but the surgery is so worth it :’) I haven’t felt that pain since. Being put under can be scary to a lot of people, but it’s like taking a super quick nap. It’s over before you know it. Don’t be scared of it, the surgery is worth not being in pain anymore :’)


There's hidden lyrics in this for sure... and I love it:)


I love this video but more importantly I love how this video was edited


FINALLY! someone who likes twilight for the books!! love you dodie <3