I'v suffered from depersonalisation since I was 8! But never knew the words til I've discovered your channel, things are still hard but you gave me words to express my state to my friends... So I thank you and love you 👌🙏
i look at my cat. the way she curls up, hides her nose, blearily snaps up at loud noises, then cuddles back in. my brain can't comprehend much. sunsets and beaches mean nothing to my brain, but this little animal being comfortable enough to close her eyes and sleep by me is enough.
I’m terrible at it too, but I’m determined to learn how to be alone during this time. I think in the midst of all the connection that we have, it feels impossible to sit and just...be. There’s so much external stimulation that even being alone isn’t really alone, and that bothers me. I want to be able to just sit, no phone, no music, no anything but myself and try to explore the universe inside my little brain. That takes so much work though, I can’t even do it for 15 minutes without being distracted. So I think that’s gonna be my goal. 15 minutes a day, no interaction outside the ol’ noggin. One of my friends — a mentor really — says that even when you’re alone, you’re not really alone., and that you belong no matter where you are. I find that thought really grounding, and I wonder if that feeling of belonging will get stronger the more comfortable I feel being truly alone with myself.
Hey I'm always alone! Now we're all alone together! It's not the same being alone and feeling alone! I've neglected my social life for 8 months and yesterday was my birthday and I spent it alone....
i'm an introvert so i actually LOVE alone time & this video was rly interesting to me bc it's hard for me to understand why ppl can't stand being alone, i think your aversion towards silence to the point where you leave the tv on as background noise is so fascinating!
yep! i'm currently isolating due to an exposure to covid-19. it's driving me crazy. i did, however, do a cover of your song "would you be so kind!" this keeps me sane lol
my vice is that i enjoy being alone but then i wake up from a spacey stupor and realize i haven't done anything with myself for the past year and don't remember a single thing that has happened. its scary, yo
I know way to many people blokes mostly who I'm having 2 phone just to persuade them to get out of bed it's scary man I know that but if we're scared for the right reason it shows us we're still sane
literally been watching u for 7 years ur totally the best and helped me deal with a lot. just wanted to say thank you and i wouldn’t be here without you.
like acc i’m such a nerd i read ur book and i live in london so i’ve always wanted to meet u :) but yeah i’m also shit at being by myself lockdown was rough
I’ve always despised being alone, ever since a young age. I remember that I got nervous any time I was even left in the car alone for a minute while my mom grabbed her purse from inside (in hindsight, probably an early sign of my anxiety). I learned quickly that I thrives on being around people and made that part of my life. When I did find myself alone, I read, or played with legos, or watched tv, or played videogames. Looking back on it now, I’m almost certain I did these things not only because they were fun, but because they all served the very important function of distracting me from my own thoughts. When I was 15, I came out to my parents as gay, and although they were both incredibly understanding, the incredibly nervousness that I thought had been just a side effect of telling them who I was didn’t go away. Ever. Like, I waited weeks for it to leave, but it wouldn’t. Turns out I have anxiety, and depression (and ADHD, but that’s mostly irrelevant for this post). I’ve been on medication for these for over 5 years now, and I’ve learned a lot of techniques to help me deal with them, but when things were worse, when I found myself in the depths of depression, or spending weeks after a panic attack feeling fragile and afraid, I found that it was always worst at night. I eventually realized that this wasn’t because of the dark, but because of the fact that when you’re lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, there’s nothing you can do to stop yourself from being alone with your thoughts. Eventually, I found something that helped; music. Your music, in particular, helped me in some of my darkest times. “Secret for the Mad” came out on YouTube right around when I was at my lowest, and before that I found myself switching back and forth between “Down” and “One for the Road” (I found that singing “leave me alone!” to my intrusive anxiety thoughts was incredibly healing) on repeat. So yeah, all in all, I’m not really sure where I was going with this. But I wanted to thank you for everything you do, and remind you that for a lot of people, your music helps us feel less alone, especially in times like these.
erm i’m not doing amazing, this past week i’ve been confined to the house as we thought that i had covid, (luckily i don’t) but it’s been hard. literally just earlier, i hurt myself and would not accept any help and was so angry at myself for not paying attention to what i was doing, and was pushing everyone away. and my mum told me to treat myself like i would my best friend. in the moment i didn’t listen but now thinking about it it makes sense. it’s just harder than it seems. so yeah, self love is HARD. i suck at it.. hoping that this awful time will grow us all
ALSO for christmas i’ve asked for the cool girl sweatshirt and i was asked just the other day what size i am in sweatshirts :) have a wonderful day loves xx
I honestly wish I were your neighbor, Dodie, so that we could occasionally wave to each other from inside our respective isolations. Who knows, with this much time alone, I might even work up the energy to open the window I’d be waving through. Of course, for me, a certain degree of isolation has been a part of life for decades. PTSD is fun that way. Oh well, back to the endless scrolling that gets me through my frequent nights of insomnia. 💕
ALSO JUST TO CLARIFY i am so fine i have so many so many friends and i love them and they love me dearly it's just current covid times meaning we're not physically together as much!
@doddlevloggle having friends does not inherently equal FEELING said friends all of the time, if that makes sense. you are completely valid as always, just because you have people who love u doesnt mean u are not allowed to feel this way <3
@ThatOneBluePerson Stop tryna make her feel bad. She's being optimistic about her situation and ur telling her "no, ur not fine, it's okay to feel that way" like dude, not cool
A tip for staying off of your phone that has really helped me is this app called flora. If you spend a chosen amount of time off of your phone it growl a lil tree! :)
i hope you have hugs coming soon 💕 we will get back to people, we will find a way to live like we used to, vaccines are real, they can help, we will be able to move beyond this, i know it
I finished mr robot recently I've realised I'm probably slightly to quite a bit more shit at being myself than I realised.. It's hard to find a balance between having people like you and being yourself, or at least it is for me..
There's this girl on tiktok that like, has being okay with being alone down to a science. She's completely at peace with herself and watching her gives me some peace too. Her user is lizzy.heerdt !
this pandemic has made me realize stuff that I don’t like either which makes me realize where I learned those habits or emotional reactions or how I take others actions and the emotion put behind them. It’s weird but it makes me want to grow
Andre Heh2020-11-24 17:02:40 (edited 2020-11-24 17:09:32 )
one thing that resonated with me the most was a quote from my therapist that no matter how not social you feel we are social beings and at some point it may catch up to you even when you thought youre fine on your solo adventures... i'm in a similar situation so much love and energy dodie we'll get through it
also if you or anyone else find music not social or distracting enough, try some streams, there are really cool communities out there for about anyone really, sometimes simply the people in the chat make it a fun and wholesome experience and you dont feel as alone during these times.
It takes practice to be comfortable with being alone. It sucks being alone and I am struggling with it as well. Dysthymia has hit me hard and it is weird. It helps me to play games with friends online, but that is my hobby so that's why it helps, I suppose. If I let my thoughts linger in my mind and I pay attention to them, I might go nuts, but it is a process of learning to live with yourself and your thoughts. Try different hobbies, exercise every day, eat lots of veggies and keep warm. You are saving people and you are doing your part. Thanks for being amazen!
Being alone is totally counter to how we are as human beings, we need other people. We cant function as human primates without other people. Its not just you, its everyone.
Humans are social creatures. Even you do well alone generally, being such by yourself is not enjoyable to anyone. That's why solitary confinement is one of the worst punishments in any prison system.
@eileen im an introvert, too, but to me there is a difference between alone time and being alone. One is a choice. Too much of a good thing can hurt. Like being alone. But I am so happy that you are getting through. Much love! ❤
@Caving Wilson ok... I’m not lying. It was a really bad hospital... anyway I’ve seen a few comments of yours in this thread and they’re all very rude and negative. Anyone who goes around commenting stuff like that is clearly hurting, so I hope you feel better some day
Hey.. erm I know it's like 3 months gone past.... But like I came across your Derealization video and I've currently been having the same kind of symptoms and also I literally just went for a eye great yesterday because I felt like somat wrong with my eye, I would like to talk to you about it, idk how or where or when, I just really need help and I feel like no one understands me or no one believes or no one cares, I'm only 21 years old but I feel like I'm 80 I feel so lonely so lost so..... Idk the words anymore... Life just doesn't seem to be real nor does time it feels like groundhog Day, doing the same things having the same emotions having the same thoughts still being scared and worried as always, I forget to eat I forget to shower to pee (TMI) idk anymore....
Not true of everyone! There are definitely people who function better being alone most of the time and having human interaction in doses, rather than being with people most of the time and having alone time in doses :)
Not necessarily true. Some people are the complete opposite and function completely fine or preferably without others. Doesn't mean they can't enjoy social things, it'sj ust a misnomer that people need it.
@Lady Pinkymoe yeah my elementary school friend used to wear them in middle school all the time and people literally talked abt her bc of it like negatively but now that a celebrity is doing it it’s her brand and suddenly cool
dodie humans are NOT MEANT to be alone! we are highly highly social animals, our brains literally do not function in isolation. you are not a bad human for struggling with isolation and loneliness. we have evolved as pack animals and our brains are wired to require social interaction. you are not broken or weird, you are a human being <3
not everyone is the same, some people do prefer being alone. I love being alone, and can be alone for months without feeling lonely, remember everyones brain is slightly different. Not everyone is in the majority.
It’s funny that you mention the way Americans speak is so full of life. I’m American and I’ve always enjoyed the way British people speak because of how calm it is
Being polish i love both: you, Americans sound so confident and happy, its so bubbly, but then the british sound so sofisticated and inteligent, i love it
dodie's ability to be so honest about her feelings and experiences and to explain it all in such a wonderful way is always such an incredible break from the crazy crap in the world, and was just that even before the pandemic. i'm always going to be so grateful to her for being a light in the dark times i've had over the years, for being an inspiration in my own music, and for taking the time to raise awareness for DPDR (which i otherwise wouldn't have gotten diagnosed). i don't normally leave comments like this, and i'm sure she gets loads just like it, but i've been thinking about it a lot lately.
YES. And I’m always overthinking it. Am I a bad friend? Is it because of covid? Is it because I just got married? Am I pushing people away? Are other people checking in and putting in more effort than I am?
@Alexei382 well I hope things turn around for you, but also yeah... I spent so much time feeling alone when I was young and then when I got into high school I learned that your in control of your own life and I’m not gonna say it’s like a snap of a finger and woah my life is all turned around now, but you gotta try and work hard. And you gotta do it for you, because I may not feel like it now but your an amazing person yes I am fully aware I don’t know you at all in anyway but regardless you are you, and yeah I’ve gone on my own tangent no one asked for but ... who cares. I’m alone and to all the people that are alone right now, things are gonna be okay because bad feelings fade and that’s all I’ve got to say. I wish everyone a lovely day <3
It’s weird but i was literally crying about not having anyone to talk to when i saw this video and something about you talking about being alone genuinely made me feel less alone.
why do we trick ourselves into thinking that giving ourselves a break is something to be guilty of??? we’re all growing humans and that growth is beautiful and individual and unique and we all need space and time and ROOM TO GROW !!! god i hate the human brain sometimes
I mean, when we grow up in a world that is constantly telling us our worth is entirely based on our productivity and career, it feels like you are failing and falling behind when you stop to breathe - even if it’s just for a second. But we’re alive!! And that’s beautiful!!! It really is important to push against what we’ve been told and remember that we live in a really very big universe and we are actually so very small but that’s not a bad thing!!!! It means we have so much freedom and choice and awesome power over our own lives. Please; if you want to sit down and watch a film or sleep for one hundred hours or take a day off to learn weaving; don’t let anyone stop you. It’s just not worth it. We have our entire lives to get on with everything else and taking a break won’t change that. In fact, it’ll make the rest of the time feel a whole lot better. And I know this is long and weird but I guess what I’m trying to say is, what is the point of a life if it is not to experience the world through the things that we find fun and interesting and exciting? There isn’t anybody on this planet powerful enough to take that away from you, even though they think they can. So just fuck it and take that break you sexy bastard.
Ow the feeling of missing out ur youth during the pandemic,,,,,,, hits hard. I'm 15 and feel like everything's passing by and I'm not only missing out the fun things but also missing out on vital growing up lessons hhhnnhgwgg
I know that feeling. I wasn’t allowed to do much when I was a teenager and I was alone quite often. Maybe that’s why I don’t „suffer“ so much under current circumstances, but social interactions stress me out.
I understand this feeling but I promise in even a few years one year or two years won’t feel like a huge amount. And everyone else is going through the same stuff and you can catch up together
i'm 21 and sometimes freak out about missing out on my adult life. tbh, when i was 15 i missed out on a lot too, no global pandemic to blame. life seems short when you're that age, but it's really so long. you have plenty of time to make up for it later, and breathing through this difficult period, full of uncertainty and change, is a life lesson in itself. you'll be fine, and you're not missing out, i promise.
I'm 21 and feel much the same way. We don't realize how much we're learning until it's all way past us. Look out for oportunities. Take responsability for shit you are passionate about. Life's gonna learn you, don't worry.
GOD IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS TOO literally where does time go? i just go on autopilot and go on my phone and it’s november now? like is this how i’m gonna spend time? :((
same like... i know it’s good to “take a break” and not feel guilty about it, but this (endless scrolling, autopilot for weeks) doesn’t feel like a break, it feels like im opting out of existence, and it’s terrifying
“The way Americans talk is so full of life...” I’m American and I was just thinking that I hear people say they love so many different accents and we must sound so awful because I don’t hear people say that about ours. Small victory for me today to enjoy that kind statement when I’m feeling, also, alone.
I’ve never realised how important people and the presence of people around me actually is. I spend my time sinking more and more into depression while trying to drag myself out of bed for work sometimes. And nobody knows when its going to end. It’s so painful. I am really lost.
!!!! i used to think of myself as more of an in between of extrovert and introvert but now i KNOW i’m an extrovert. i miss meeting people and learning about people and seeing people just .... be people and living their lives uhhh it hurts not to go outside and just LIVE
Honestly go out for a coffee and strike up a conversation with the waitress! Wear a mask of course, and take your coffee to go so youre not sitting in a restaurant for a long period of time but really just go be interactive with people! We need that genuine connection with people and we can do that 6 feet apart and keep everyone safe and meeting strangers is one of the best things and as humans we desire making connections! I recently went on a roadtrip, was by myself in my car the whole drive and slept in my car, but every rest stop or even random hikers who I met on the trails, having small conversations with strangers again was so welcoming. And we can still keep everyone safe by wearing masks and keeping distance!
I haven't seen my best friend since the beginning of March.. i live with my family and since both of my parents are in the "at risk" category we don't go out and see anyone except our neighbors a few times. I never thought as a shy more introverted person that I miss people
Had a huge fight with my mum this morning. She’s super toxic and I’m not doing good. Been a fan since 2015 tho and you’re like an older sister to me, so I feel a bit better.
@Novaelline they are learning and growing into their own. this is the time for support trust and love. seek honesty. see them as your equal. youre guiding them through these early stages of life. my biggest problem with my mom is that she never dealt with her own trauma so she takes it out on me. simple communication and unconditional love and support would have helped. be open to being wrong and growing with them too
I feel like the world sells to you the fact that you need to learn to be all alone and be okay with it but it's only human to crave human connection, don't beat yourself up for not liking being alone, it's okay to hate loneliness and it doesn't mean you're broken
There's a balance to be struck, though. Certain actions need solitude to be fulfilled, like meditation for example. We need to learn when to be alone and when to connect with others.
@Diane Aisha Monday yeah i get you, thing is I'm not a lonely person at all and even tho I can be by myself I don't like it, I would much rather spend time with people
After being alone (+depersonalized) for so long, I forget something like the "outside" of my flat exist, but somehow I also tend to forget that an "inside" of me exist (e.g. the space to think or feel or process things in my mind), so I am just floating in the weird space inbetween
this was exactly what I needed to hear from someone I’ve looked up to for so long.... seeing dodie struggle with the EXACT same panicked and lost thoughts I’ve struggled with the past 10 months in “quarantine” shows me I’m not alone. because I can see influencers post “you’re not alone we’re all going thru it!!” but that shit doesn’t do anything good. this did
My husband was in the room when we heard “so full of life” and we repeated it simultaneously in surprise 😂. Thank you for the compliment but just know that I love listening to people in the uk for the exact same reason!
“No one can be independent of other people completely, so why not give up the attempt, she thought, go running in the other direction, depend on people for everything, allow them to depend on you, why not.” ― Sally Rooney, Normal People
hey! you wont see this but i just wanted to say thank you so much for being a kind, talented, and amazing person. i know its corny but youre never really alone ^-^ tons of your fans are probably listening to your music right now, and thinking about you. we love you, dodie. and thank you again :D <3
SHE'S BAAAAAACK the past two weeks have felt like forever aaaaAAAAA also the coloring in this video is... just so comforting and beautiful ALSO also I feel you - I guess I never realized how much I actually need people to function until now, when I'm by myself all the time :/
Damn I feel this so deeply. I derealize and depersonalize a lot and I also (unofficially. Still talking to my psychiatrist about it) probably have borderline personality disorder which comes along with a lot of abandonment issues and unstable relationships. So basically on top of the loneliness and emptiness I'm watching all my relationships crumble (my worst fear) and I feel completely helpless to stop it. Quarantine fucking sucks for everyone but especially for the mentally ill. Please stay safe and wear your masks ❤
but at the same time i’m now back at school and the pressure and stress of that and the anxiety and weight that comes with it, i have now decided is so much worse than the numbness i was feeling a few months ago except me then would have done anything to be me now, no matter how bad it feels as long as it was real.... but that’s life i guess
dodie you were right on time. my brother was having a fit and he was throwing and kicking things and we stressful. thank you so much for bringing a light and sharing your own struggles with us <3
What you're saying at 2:22 brought this para from Normal People straight into my head: "No one can be independent of other people completely, so why not give up the attempt, she thought, go running in the other direction, depend on people for everything, allow them to depend on you, why not." I love that book so much :)
"I have no idea how to get out of this rut...well I do...it's probably just to try harder, isn't it? *growling noises*"
HAAAA yep.
This entire video was very resonant with me. I feel the same. I've found myself frequently asking, "why do I need other people so much??" Someone advised me recently that maybe it's just innate. Not wrong or bad. Just how we're made.
Sending you love and grace! We'll get through the door of this together.
lots of reasons for not looking after yourself even though it’s “easy” - not being able to get up because depression -not thinking about it because you’re constantly trying to distract yourself because at this point it’s a habit - not feeling like you deserve to be looked after -not thinking it’s necessary or you’ll do it tomorrow -not wanting to be a bother (i’m sure there are others but i can’t think of them right now)
being alone gets rid of the safety blanket of bouncing off of other people. it takes being alone to realise how hard it is to be alone with yourself. and yet it also takes the safety blanket of thinking you’re independent when you realise if left to your own devices you are barely even a human being
this video reminds me of why I love church so much! It's literally a group of people who are willing and able to communicate with you and build up a community, even when the only interactions are online for the time being :)
When I went to uni for the first time a few years ago it was the first time I ever felt truly lonely and it hit me like a truck. Ever since those first difficult 6 months, even though things are relatively fine now, I'm so scared to be lonely. Any TV show or film that touches on feelings of loneliness (e.g. queens gambit most recently) hits me so deeply and I cry so much. So I've had similar thoughts to Dodie recently about the importance of learning to be with just myself, but I'm still so afraid of the feeling of loneliness.
I love how real you are :-) you make me feel a lot less lonely in my emotions because I’m reminded that other people also feel this way ❤️ thank you for being you dodie!
Thank you from the bottom of my empty soul.. I’ve been searching for someone who says anything I relate to and you’ve got me. I scroll and scroll because I want to space I want the days to fly because I can’t bare being along with my thoughts anymore, it’s so hard to get out of bed and do anything. I feel immensely guilty for not doing anything but I’m furloughed they’ve really nothing I can do. So thank you.. you’ve made me feel that tiny bit more sane and real 🥺🤍
This got meeeeee "Even my bones feel lonely" 😭😭 I've been watching a hell of a lot of livestreams (went back to my old favourite youtuber for some comfort) and it really helps. I don't always watch the live ones but it seems to make it a little less lonely when it is live because you know they're there, in real time. Anyway whatever love u dods you may never read this but hope it helps someone Gonna make myself a cup of tea because I deserve it
DAMN IT!!! why you gotta hit the feels like that?! I mean, thank you so much, this is much needed at this very moment. Literally just got home after a session with a "therapist" )or just a doctor I guess) and my mum. I'm just 16 and I have the thoughts of using up my youth on just thinking. I don't really see it as a problem, though. As you said, "I'm surviving". But there is still something wrong. I have not been diagnosed with anything tbh, but I strongly relate to.. you, as a person. And it's so nice to know and SEE that I am not the only one with these feelings. You are saving lives by both staying inside, but also by sharing your live in this current moment.
(Also, off topic, I really love the Queen's Gambit as well) Thank you, and Cheers!!
the snap opening brought me so much NOSTALGIA and had me thinking back to watching your videos a long time ago you soothe me so much! i recently got diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and depersonalization derealization disorder and started meds, you are so wonderful and have made a huge impact in my life thank you so much i love u
thank you for sharing your feelings with us, i hope people are kind. in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with "needing people to function". i'm glad you're okay <3
It's quite scary when your scrolling to avoide listening to your thoughts and then your brain decides to put a video on that echoes it's thoughts. It scared me enough that not long into the video I saw what was coming, got spooked, lept out of bed, had a shower and am now making a cup of tea whilst watching the rest of the video, so cheers :)
Hey, I just had this recommended to me now of all days, and I just wanted to say thank you. I've been feeling almost the exact same way you are and you put it into words very well. It makes me feel a lot better to just know there are others out there going through this, too. It's important to be reminded of that. Thank you :)
I adore this video and just how important this is, but here's a quick pitstop to mention just how comfortable I can tell you are with your editing, it's really incredible 💜
We love you dodie, i know that feeling of wanting to avoid the thoughts you have when you're alone, i do the same thing of wanting to distract myself but we have each other. Stay strong. <3
I hope everyone is being hydrated. Being alone is something pretty wild to be for so long. Ive also been alone for the pandemic, ive gotten really good at being alone and making time to talk with people. I just got finished with an experiement live streaming for 168 hours straight. And people came and people went and it was an interesting experience, like sitting in a library where friends would drop in on you. Discord has been a god send to watch things and spend time with people online. If anyone wants to chat or whatever with someone who also likes dodie and stuff drop me a message at orange#1000. I'd love to hear other peoples experiences during this who have been alone throughout
I'm way older than you and it's hard too. I really feel for the younger generation. I wouldn't have coped either. This should be the finest time of your life! You need others to share, experience things with, challenge you, laugh with, bounce off... and we are human. Humans are a social species.
For the record, I think it’s totally natural to need other people to function. We need community. Even introverts NEED to be with other people, sometimes. This time of isolation isn’t at all normal, and I kind of think it’s good that we’re recognizing our need for others. Ya know... for when all of this passes a bit haha
YouTube recommended this to me and how did it know exactly what my soul needed to watch? Thanks so much got sharing this, I am feeling so much of this so much.
It's real nice to hear someone talk about how they are feeling, how I'm feeling, and spinning it so that it isn't crushing. For sure going to take those recommendations.
To dodie and everyone else: I keep reminding my students that nobody on the planet has ever been through anything like this. If you are struggling, feeling isolated, lacking motivation, anxious, afraid, depressed, stressed and/or otherwise struggling - good! That means you're human. If you weren't struggling right now, that would actually be weird. Even if you feel alone, you're not. There are millions of people in the same situation. 2020-2021 will be a loss. Just own it. The 1918 Spanish Influenza actually lasted from 1918-1920. Until we get a vaccine, our best option is physical distancing. Just known you're loved, you're missed, and there are people who can't wait to see your smiling face on the other side of this. <3
I´m a person very used to being alone, since I was a child. We seem to have very different experiences, and it would be kind of interesting to have a chat about it. Oh and I´m a swedish guy so that makes a difference too.
I lost nearly all my friends last year, so I've actually been grateful for the pandemic. I would've been alone anyway, but now everybody is in the same boat.
dodie realizes how important isolating is right now even if it hurts her a lot. I'm sure anyone with a brain and heart understands and respects that so very much. Thank you dodie!!!!!! <3
As someone who makes tea as their first form of self care, the line "I deserve a cup of tea, at least" hit my very SOUL. Thank you Dodie, we all love you so, so much.
i've bearly ever watch your videos, but I'm so glad I clicked on this one, I love this very personal and organic video, its really inspirational just how calm and expressive you are about your struggles, love your moommins song too (probably why this vid was in my recommended). Greatly appreciate this video : )
You bring me so much comfort. The sound of your voice and look of your face takes away my worries and replaces them with comfort. Thank you. Love you dodie
I'm living alone at the moment and I'm just so glad that the internet exists - I swear we would not have survived this pandemic at all without it. You're doing great Dodie, and thank you so much for this encouraging message xxx
this really, really resonated with me and ironically made me feel less “alone”. i was in contact with someone at school who has covid (i can’t do online school because of the classes i’m taking), and then someone in my house tested positive for covid. i haven’t been able to leave my house (barely my room) in over a week and i don’t know when i’ll be able to. i’m american and i’m really worried i won’t get a thanksgiving this year, which really sucks. i’ve been doing pretty much everything i have to do, but slowly and unenthusiastically. i feel so tired and depressed. maybe that’s ok though, maybe i’m just doing the best i can rn. i should probably get off my phone and clean my room.
yes, you're doing the right thing yay ❤ I know it's hard, I'm going through the same thing and my way to cope with it is to fill that void I feel with love and knowledge about myself. Hard but soooo valuable
Goodness, I completely understand! The pandemic on top of switching school programs, being at the cusp of graduating and moving abroad for college has really settled me into depression. Just the pressure of it all and the inability to seek comfort in friends has just been, frankly, suffocating.
Times are so warped now, and although there’s so much to be thankful for and blessings a plenty since although you’re alone, you’re alive and well, that doesn’t negate the heavy feelings that everything else gives.
Good luck and Godspeed, Dodie, and everyone else! The times are pretty poopy, to say the least, but we’ll get through it! I believe in you!
We are here for you and we love hearing from you.💜
I just realized that you were living in Bath at the exact same time that I was. I was studying Political Science, but I tried to involve myself in the music scene as much as I was comfortable, if only to meet people and to be able to say I've been on stage in other countries.
I definitely miss the community feeling of uni life. Living in a small town and running my own business is a little more lonely in that sense. You see people, but to perform services, not to socialize. Distance has always been the biggest thing, since most of my friends aren't local.
There are many reasons I want to live alone and then with my bf, but there is something nice about a house full of people. It's tough to record in, but there's always someone to talk to if you want to.
Thank you so much for this video Dodie, I normally don’t like being alone with my own thoughts and having to sit in silence by myself all the time can be a really bad feeling, so this video really helped <3
you're not only saving lives by not spreading the virus, you're also saving lives with video's like these, by letting everyone know that they're not the only one that feel lonely.
Thank you from the bottom of my empty soul.. I’ve been searching for someone who says anything I relate to and you’ve got me. I scroll and scroll because I want to space I want the days to fly because I can’t bare being along with my thoughts anymore, it’s so hard to get out of bed and do anything. I feel immensely guilty for not doing anything but I’m furloughed they’ve really nothing I can do. So thank you.. you’ve made me feel that tiny bit more sane and real 🥺🤍
I’ve been going through a super similar time. I moved to the city I’ve always wanted to live in in June and I havent been able to make any friends or do anything but work because of the pandemic. I live in a tiny studio by myself with my cat and it’s lowkey awful lol.
When you asked yourself the question if it’s okay to always need people I literally yelled at my phone “YES!” We are humans and humans are literally pack animals that need social interdependence to survive and we literally evolved to be that way. I thought I was being stifled by my friends and family back home and that I would finally have the time and space to focus on my art when I lived in the big city by myself. I wanted independence so bad, I wanted to take my self seriously as a grown up.
But it turns out it’s really hard to make art when the people and experiences you make art about have dissapeared. I’m finally realizing that being alone doesn’t necessarily make me more powerful, if anything I’m at a disadvantage. There is no shame in needing other people.
"If I put my phone down & face myself for a while... 'oh hello, every bad thing that's ever happend & that will happen'" I felt that so hard, thank you
hi dodie i’m early and i just wanted to say that ily and seeing you on instagram, yt and your music has helped me over the years specially during quarantine 💖
Knowing that other people are also struggling is so helpful. I don't normally acknowledge that I'm not okay, and it's nice to hear someone else being so matter of fact about loneliness ❤️
I’m alone for the week of Thanksgiving and it’s felt even more lonely — nice to watch this video and feel less bad about being bad at being alone (oof)
Just had quite a teary phone call to my mum about this very issue, so thanks Dodie. You always seem to have a video for the precise thing I’m going through 😂
Go for a run, or a walk, listen to some podcasts, play some video games, read a book, do something creative, stick the radio on (that one really helps with the quietness lol). Being alone can be alright, just as long as you keep doing!
I feel this so much! While I am an introvert that loves my alone time, I despise solitude to the point that it is my greatest fear in life. All my life I have always had background noise because I hate the sound of silence. In my home there is always music, podcasts, or a random channel on my tv playing to make me feel less alone. I truly miss being alone in a coffee shop with others quietly reading or friends hanging out because even though I was alone, it wasn’t complete solitude
Thank you for reminding me that we all deserve tea. I went out and made myself tea, got myself a snack and I'm thinking of watching a movie or something too. I liked hearing what you were working on so I figured I'd share some of what I've worked on during lockdown because I guess it might feel good to do that
- Finishing a big stack of books I wanted to read and just never got round to (went from about 36 to 20 and still going) - Finding parts to build a better PC - Cleaned up and 'fixed' my brother's old gameboy (which tbh wasn't really broken just kinda... gross) - Made a Letterboxd account to talk about movies because I used to wanna do that a lot and I've kinda lost the drive for it in recent years
But ye, even if I hadn't done any of that, just getting through life right now is more than enough and y'know I hope anybody reading this knows that. Be proud of yourself for whatever you're achieving right now, being here is more than enough. Productivity isn't the most important thing right now, just being here still is enough. And if you did read this, go make yourself a cup of tea because you deserve it
I’m feeling so similar right now & I hate it. I also have depersonalization and damn not leaving the house and just having social media is not helping. I KNOW I should be doing more and doing what makes me feel good and fulfilled but I can’t get myself to. It is this overwhelming, heavy feeling of just being alone
I really appreciate this video. Staying home all of the time has really been getting to me lately as well and I know I haven't been looking after myself as well as I should, even though I live with other people. I just really miss my friends. But I am also fine, really - I'm a lot luckier than a lot of other people are. We all just have to remember to be kind to ourselves right now. <3
Dodie - I hope this helps. I’ve discovered your channel recently through Evans videos and I didn’t know you were a singer at first, I just liked your personality a lot. I’ve discovered your music and it has both calmed me down and cheered me up so much when I too have felt lonely or anxious during this lockdown. So thank you, thank you SO MUCH ❤️
I've found it one of the weird gifts of this year.
I was meant to do my A-Level exams in May, but those got cancelled. A whole year of my life that I knew was going to be dedicated to me cramming my brain with info became a wide empty gap in my life schedule. Suddenly I had space to think about myself, and at first, it was so easy to embrace the spare time and watch so many films and series, read so many books, absorb all the things I hadn't thought I would have time to with the rush leading up to exams.
But then that eagerness trailed off, and like you, I was alone with my thoughts. Who really was I, when I was suspended in a time that wasn't meant to be like this? Who was I when I wasn't a revision machine? Who was I when my friends didn't see my face for months? Who actually was I when all the external things that I would usually use to define me (gap-year-Kate, best-friends-with-Matt-and-Evie-Kate, English-Literature-Kate) fell away, and I was just myself, in my bedroom?
Won't lie, it was very much horrible at times, and I felt like a shell of a person. How could I be anyone when I wasn't leaving any sort of mark on people or places or things? But then I found myself turning to the things I enjoyed unabashedly, and using them to fill my days. Writing so much more than I think I ever have in my life. Thinking so much about my own trauma, and reflecting on seriously heavy things in therapy. Thinking honestly about my sexuality and the perspective that my demisexuality gives me on the world.
I sat with myself for about 8 months this year, and I think I've loved it. I have learned so much about myself - that I need exactly 9 and a half hours sleep a night, that I get no cramps on the first day of my period and that day two brings spots, that I really do need to be creative as much as I thought I did - and I wouldn't have been allowed the time to be with myself if this pandemic hadn't happened. I'm not going to toxically try to say this has been a good thing, of course, but I've found a pretty solid silver lining to it. A steel lining. The normal world doesn't allow for this kind of deep self-reflection, and only by putting what was meant to be the busiest year of my life on an indefinite pause have I been able to actually take a good look at myself at 18 years old and say "alright then. who tf are we and what is it we want?"
I definitely don't have all the answers. I'm 18 lol. But I have found that silence and comfort in just being with myself, with a therapist to help me through the difficult parts, so incredibly helpful and healing. I think I've become friends with myself this year, and I wanted to share my experience just to say 1) that anyone else who has had a similar experience to me isn't alone, and 2) that there is a possibility for this aloneness to become a good thing. It has been for me.
This is the longest comment I think I've ever left lol, but I hope it has been interesting reading for anyone else who has been thinking about how their identity has been affected by the constant aloneness of the pandemic. I hope that everyone who reads this is able to make friends with themselves in some way, and I wish everyone the best healing during and after this year <3
I really enjoy being alone tbh, I’ve enjoyed lockdown so much cause I haven’t had to worry about talking to other people (I have social anxiety which is getting worse 👏) so it’s really fascinating to get another opinion on being alone in such an honest way.
I feel like I really needed this video. I relate to it way too much. And that someone like you who has accomplished so much feels the same way as I do, is very comforting. Thank you. You’re so cool, be proud 🥺
Thank you for sharing. Sometimes I sit in my room and feel like I'm suffocating, like I can't possibly stare any more holes into the ceiling. Even if I still go to school, my weekends and free time are plastered with alone time. Like you said, it feels like I'm wasting away my youth, sometimes it even feels like it's been taken from me. I'm 18, I'm almost done with school, I should be out there, dancing through the night until my feet fall off, kissing strangers and going on adventures with my friends. Instead, I look at the picture on my wall, stare holes into the ceiling, hoping and hoping that it will get better, because it has to get better and that it will get better quickly, cause it's starting to get cold and I really need to patch those holes before it starts to rain into my room.
I dont know exactly what youre going through, but I relate to a damn lot of the sentiments in this video. we'll pull through, whether it feels like it or not, there is light out there ✨
I couldnt make it through this whole video. Dodie. I adore you and everything you've been so kind to share with us. It blows me away everytime I listen to you. You have made me happy in times where I was lonely and sad. And if there's anything we can do for you... letters.... comments.... videos.... anything. Just let us know boss.
This really came at the right time I’ve been feeling like this for a while but today especially, kinda ironic that a video about being alone has made me realise I’m anything but
I've moved 3 times around town since the pandemic started. This was the year that i got real adult stress instead of just stress from the stuff going on inside my head. It was inbelievable, IS unbelievable because im still in the process of the third one. This has been a weird year. I love your music. It gets me through the day 💙
Thank you to share it, to open up, it is useful, to me, to many people, to yourself. It touches me strongly. Thanks again. Can't wait to hear your voice singing again :)
As someone who's also 'barely there' half the time, hardcore depersonalization issues - the harder I fought it the worse it got. 'Trying harder' isn't my answer, my answer was finding someone who understood me and hobbies that I found personally fulfilling, but it's not a 'cure'. I'm still me at the end of the day, and when I started working on accepting that I am who I am a bit more it improved. Everyone should work on bettering themselves, but a lot of people take that too far and hold everyone to the same standard. What your standard is might be different from someone else, not every goalpost works for every person. I just wanted to find a way to be less distressed about how I am, and I've been working on that. Best of luck to you.
I am thankfully spending this period of time with my family and I have to say it is a blessing. In order to see my friends I also dedicate some time to new hobbies such as long distance role playing and that alleviates my "friend-sickness". Stay positive Dodie, surviving is good enough right now.
sending virtual love and support to everyone 💕 I feel the same and also extremely scared that me or my cousins can pass the virus to my grandparents 😔 but i know i’m not alone and not the only one feeling this way ✨
0:18 "I'm not through the door of learning whatever this will teach me" ...instant like!
Also, I've watched Dodie for literal years now and this has to be one of my favorite and most relatable videos of hers! I'm quarantining alone here in the States and my closest friends all live with their families. Although they try to support me, they don't and won't fully know the extent of what it feels to be truly alone (and all the sadness that comes with it). And not because you want to. But because you have to. For me, just as Dodie said perfectly, at the end of the day it's about being kind to myself. Not gaslighting myself about how "productive" I am being. And treating my mind AND body kindly even in isolation.
I have been listening to doris day and sleeping listening to podcasts cause...company glad u can share this im sure lots are feeling this way hopefully now they now there not alone
You're so awesome dodie. Talking about these things is hard and you're great for doing so anyway. Know that you're not alone in feeling alone. We're in this together;) Wishing you many warm and happy days and nights! X
i feel this so hard. last lockdown i was in my uni house with all of my friends which made it so much easier, this lockdown i am by myself (i live at my nans but she works at a school full time and i am unemployed). the way you described the difference of having some alone time and actually being alone resonated with me so hard! i just want to be able to go to my room knowing my friends are downstairs rather than empty silence. the presence of people is so important. its hard af but we've got it dodie!!!
I really needed this right now. I miss my family so much but I know I can’t see them this holiday season and it’s been on of the most difficult decisions to not see them. It’s really hard. Thank you for this
I’m living alone at uni and I agree with all of this, I’ve been on the phone to people all day long and it is so quiet and silent when we end that call, I’ve never noticed how quiet it is before when I could go out and do things and see people
Yes. I am a music video director, and all of the bands that I work with can't afford / aren't very motivated to make new music right now. But mostly, I've realized that my fast-pace lifestyle interacting with lots of different people is what I miss the most. I literally get a weird high whenever I'm in a room with more than 3 people lmao. Thank you for being a voice for all of us. This will end, hopefully SOON. x
Hey man I actually took the time to look up your music videos and they're great. Please don't give up even tho times are hard. You got something especial. Cheers
I have deperaonalisation (diagnosed) and I really relate with this!! I cannot be alone without zoning out, it meant a lot to hear this and realise I'm not alone.
Thank you for this video, it's really helpful to just know, that I'm not the only one who feels bad and lonely. Even though I'm a introvert and I like to be alone, I've understood that to feel good and function normally I need contact with people. I miss talking with strangers and small talks with my colleagues, which I used to hate bc of my introversion... I'm also just not able to be productive, yes, I have school and extra music lessons and a lot of duties and homework... but it's in my computer, it's not real ! I feel like that all the time. Why to study ? I don't care, because right now it doesn't seem real to me. It's so hard.
You are amazing. Watching your videos, listening to your music is making my life really better. I want you to know how important you and your work are for us all in the world. And I want to send all the love that exists in the world.
Thankyou for the honesty. It's so comforting to hear someone say that it's a common thing to feel alone even with social media and that it's okay to admit you're not to happy with it. I'm struggling with that too at the minute so it's nice to get that reassurance that its okay to not always feel great. Thankyou so much <3 xx
I live in a different state than my friends and family, I had a baby nov 2019 and then covid hit. I’m a stay at home mom and i can relate to this video so much. I literally started breaking down and praying it was bad
ive suffered trauma myself and after having gone through that and come back to watch your videos, and hearing you also suffered trauma in childhood and in relationships, i realised your whole image of being more childlike is something i have as well. i sink back into my 'childlike-self' because it gives me an illusion that i am gaining my childhood back in some way, since it was taken from me from monsters who like to inflict horrible things on other people. all of the way you speak and actions you make are childlike but not in a bad way... just in a way that seems as if you don't realise you are always trying to get your childhood innocence back... i do that too. i feel understood in this way when i watch your videos.
i could be completely wrong about this btw. i promise i am not being one of those people that is diagnosing or saying This Is Who You Are! but it is something i have noticed that i resonate with completely and know is because of trauma i have gone through, and is possibly the same for you. have you noticed this? and also, am i right? does anyone else know what i mean?
sending so much love. you have no idea how much you have helped me in my life. especially during school.
Your videos really make me smile 😊 not only are you saving lives by staying inside but you’re helping people just by making wonderful music and sharing your experiences ❤️
I’ve been wearing over-ear wireless headphones all day watching YouTube and podcasts all the time until my partner comes home. and having my dog has been keeping me sane these past 9 months (??? So long wow). I tell you this because it helps me a lot and maybe that’ll help you too? Be safe dodie be kind to yourself
Thank you for this Dodie. When I moved back to uni in September I soon started to feel very lonely. All my flatmates were nice but not many of them socialised that much and I couldn’t go see my other uni friends once restrictions got tighter. Even though physically I wasn’t alone in my flat, I felt very alone mentally. I’ve moved back home now so I’m doing much better but loneliness is one of the worst feelings ever. I hope anyone struggling is able to get the support they need xx
"a difference of needing alone time and the soul sucking difference of this feeling" hit me to my core. Ugh. This season in extremely hard even though I generally in the past have craved/needed that alone time. Thank you for sharing yourself, for sharing these real thoughts. I relate deeply and I appreciate you so much 💖
Thank you for making this video. I think we believe that people who have reached a certain level of success have it all figured out. It's a nice reminder to remember we're all going through the same day-to-day feelings.
this is so relatable though, i’ve been feeling this for months but especially the past week and it’s so nice to know that we feel lonely but all of us feel lonely and to see you struggle with it but also be hopeful? and know that you can take care of yourself and stuff? that’s lit as for getting out of that rut— what helps me is daily (or just as often as you can like start with once or twice a week or smth) asking someone if they can hang out or even just like talk on the phone or just sit outside in your seperate fields of grass and hang out so you’re at least talking to someone and you’re not alone. i’ve had so many good conversations that way and have felt a lot better the rest of the day
it's a well known fact solitary confinement is not good for the human psyche. we need input, we need other people. As you say, you need to be kind to yourself. These are strange times. it's not fun. I suppose all we can do is hope it gets better soon. love ya Dodie ducky, keep plodding on. you can make it out the other side.
2 likes
Elias J.2020-11-23 00:01:03 (edited 2020-11-23 00:01:26 )
I've deleted social media two weeks ago and it's been really good since now I'm more porductive and I don't focus on other people's 'perfect' lives while scrolling. I did keep Youtube though since I learn a lot from it and watch music, enjoy art or videos in general and I find it more fulfilling than just scrolling through tiktok or instagram.
Thank you for posting Dodie. It means a lot at the moment to hear someone being honest with their struggles with isolation. Sometimes we need reminding that it's OK to take a break (and not feel guilty about being "unproductive"). Your mental health is far more important than the need to get things done, but, yeah, this year has taken a swipe at all of us. Feeling the isolation. I'm fortunate to be able to "bubble up" with family close by but working straight through lockdown(s) has really knocked me for six. Haven't been able to see friends and spend time processing the situation. Finally got to the point where I needed outside professional help with my mental wellbeing.
"even my bones feel lonely" reminds me of a thing my boyfriend texted me when we were apart during the first lockdown, he said "I got the bonely lonelies" and that seems about right
One thing I heard (From John Green, I think) was that if you are spending time making yourself happy, that time isn't wasted, that isn't time being unproductive; You are producing happiness.
I was just thinking about how lonely I feel, and what I could possibly do about it. I'm the most introverted introvert in history, and even I, the original hermit crab™ feel isolated.
Thank you for this video! It was kinda like talking to a friend about it lol. Hope you're well 🧡
Thanks for the Pied Pipers recommendation! Lately I'm listening to a lot of jazz cause it calms me a lot. Also as you said, great for the background music. Couldn't visit office since March and though I'm living with my partner and seing friends from time to time I'm going effin' crazy.
just subscribed to Amanda. Here’s a small doable challenge: When you watch a youtube video (one you actually want to watch) put it on full screen and take your hand off the mouse or, if you’re on your phone, put the phone somewhere so you’re not holding it and not hovering your thumb over the screen constantly. And just see how that already feels different to what you’re probably doing right now.
I'm so sorry that you feel this bad/alone, I understand you, and I want to tell you that you're not heart-ly alone (dk if that means something). Please, keep being you, you're adorable and precious, have a beautiful day! :)
Oh definitely feel you on this. Like, I've been depressed for a while (I'm working on it and I'm getting there), but since moving back home with my parents it's not /nearly/ as bad as living in halls with people I didn't know well. I don't know how tf I would have coped if I had to do LOCKDOWN away from my family unit tbh. And I'm not even an extrovert like you are! <3
As with everything in life, there needs to be a balance to be happy. Being with people all the time can suck and obviously being alone all the time really sucks. This year a lot of us have been alone too much and it’s normal to feel shit about it. Just know that this isn’t forever, we will find that balance again. Gotta keep believing in that 💫
Me after losing my home, job, best friends and love :( due to pandemic borders closure (I lived my dream life in New Zealand), watching this video whilst having this emptiness in me for the last 6 months, beeing happy, that someone else finally perfectly describes it for me ♥
I’m an international student in England and well... I haven’t seen my family in a year and spent my birthday alone... it sucks but I know everyone’s going through it rn. hope everyone’s staying safe:) luv ya Dodie
U are amazing . I admire u so . I live in the new York City and I appreciate your article about dissociation and it has helped me so . I am blessed u have invited me into your space lovely m
I've lived alone a lot and I know exactly what Dodie means. What I think might help is listening to podcasts and having them play through speakers or headphones. That way it's like there's a conversation with friends happening around you ^^
This was so relatable. I just had a massive scare realising I hadn't taken my pill in five days because I hadn't registered how time was passing. It's so odd realising the weeks have slipped away and you haven't even noticed.
I think also another thing to remember when we all have trouble being alone, humans aren't supposed to be alone. Yeah sure, we all like a quiet moment for ourselves, but no one thrives with no human contact what so ever. We all need people around us if that's a big crowd or 4 friends, then so be it. Different needs, but the same core wants :)
Heyo. Ya don't know me. You've helped me quite literally more than I'm mentally capable of thinking about.
The future's terrifying, I'm sure ya know what that's like. But you've been through a lot :) enough to help someone like me along their way. And I'm quite certain I'm not the only one.
So even though thinkin about the past, present, and future may be terrifying (hell, thinkin in general is scary ig), take a moment to reflect on how far you've come since that girl sittin in her bedroom :) You've accomplished more than some generations accomplish, doodle. You've saved at the very least thousands of lives. And you're still just beginning your journey.
Big mood here. I lived alone from March to September and I thought it didn’t affect me that much but now looking back it just feels like a BLACK HOLE OF REPETITIVE CRIPPLING SOLITUDE. We just gotta be extra kind to ourselves and take it as it comes 💖
I've never had any friends and I'm 23, this is how I've felt for literally years, every minuet every day I am completely alone, my life feels like I'm trapped in an empty void for eternity, I can't even imagine what it would be like to have actual nice fun conversations with other people.
I’m having a very bad depressive episode tonight but this calmed me down and relaxed me to the point where I think I want to sleep, I feel quite sick from crying but I know it will subside eventually
I used to always think I would be amazing alone before the pandemic but because of quarantine it made me start to think maybe I’m not as introverted as I thought I was. Because I realized I didn’t love talking to complete strangers, but I loved to be around people and know that I am “safe” and that I exist and I am in a moment.
Dodie you are wonderful. I have depersonalisation too it's scary. You articulate your words so well and it's nice to know someone else understands the crazy empty constant spaced out feeling. I send love magical lady! 💖
I always want to comment something lovely and poetic on your videos HOWEVER my brain is functioning at minimum capacity right now, so just, thank you. I'm glad that in the grand scheme of things, you are okay, but I hope you know that it's just a sucky situation and you have every right in the world to feel bad and to take care of yourself and you deserve ALL the cups of tea you could possibly want
I'm sending you a big hug from France. I hope and know it's gonna be ok for you in the end. I know this feeling you have and it's gonna be ok. And maybe why not having a roommate ? I think it's ok during the pandemic to have one people to spend time with
"even my bone feel lonely" .. hit hard. Around November '19 I sorta realised that I had never truly been alone and it made me want to learn how to do that, and then the pandemic happened, essentially forcing me to do it.. But it has now been 10 months, and I think I am still chasing even the slightest bit of connection . how do people do this, how does anyone stare at a blank wall and be okay with it?
you always deliver these nuggets of your life right when im feeling kinda the same way which like duh pandemic but STILL THANK U FOR SHARING!!!! ive felt so sad and icky but its growth i guess? ew idk anyway i love u care for urself TOOO 💌
This feeling has been very persistent for me lately. Especially with the holidays coming and my friends are coming home from college, but I can't just go over and see them. Also unproductive guilt is a real thing.
The part about putting on background noise to drown out the “soul sucking silence’, I felt that lmao I’m addicted to YouTube for this reason, not in the way some people describe where it feels like chillen with a friend because it’s distinctly different from that but... For that reason you described lmao I’m someone who generally, and *genuinely*, enjoys my alone time and bonding with myself, but this year stripping the agency of choice away... Ugh.
Honestly it took me years to feel comfortable being by myself. When I moved in my first apartment alone, I went through one of the hardest periods of my life, doing stuff at the most uncanny hours, being unable to take care of myself or my flat, and just trying to spend as much time outside with company as possible even though I was also struggling with social anxiety (least of two evils I guess...) I was very much afraid of facing loneliness during this second lockdown, and so far so good, I guess I got to a point in which I'm used to it and I can use the time alone to recharge. But I am so impatient for the time I can go back to a normal life... Don't beat yourself up if you hate being alone, no one was ever made to be in total isolation.
The spotify sleep timer thing has made my life immeasurable better cause even when I'm going to sleep i need to play some music and not let the silence in
"at least i'm not maybe killing people" is honestly the only way to think about isolating in a positive way without sounding unrealistically optimistic.
I think this is going to be really helpful for me over the next few weeks. I’m a freshman in college, so I’ve never lived alone. I came to college with a couple of friends from home, so I’ve never really been without them, and I got paired with a roommate and we’ve gotten really close. On Tuesday, Thanksgiving break starts and when classes resumes after break they’ll resume 100% online, and we’ve been encouraged not to travel back and forth, if you go home Thanksgiving break stay home until January, and if you want to on campus for the rest of the semester don’t go home for Thanksgiving. In my situation, I don’t feel comfortable going home for a month and a half, I don’t think it would be good for my mental health or for my academics, but almost everyone else is heading out this weekend. My friends are gone and my roommate left yesterday, and it’s sinking in that I am stuck here, alone, until December 15th. I have this whole room to myself, right now maybe half of my floor is left and I’m sure even more people will leave over the next few days. I don’t have a car, so I really am stuck here. I have this 20 square foot room, a bathroom down the hall, a dining room a quarter mile away, and a little on campus cafe in the building over, and that’s my life for the next month, just me, alone. I hope I start to feel better over the next few days, because right now I am dreading being so completely alone.
queen's gambit is also an awesome example of the different periods in life that we go through. beth goes through so many phases of loneliness and longing--this is just one chapter on the way to greatness & we will get there someday soon!
I just got out of this ~feeling~ with my friend also clamming himself up but I think he also went through "this" I just want to know he's fine. Like I'm ready to talk to him, but I still don't know what I'll say~ Just as days mush together, it's unraveled just opening the world again into thinking days go by, sure nothing happens, it's so dark to be alone in my own mind but it's not where so many things happen nothing in control. It's just a regular day, a day for myself to enjoy, yet alone, yet a time for my own. It's like the old school days but on weekends on loop Stay strong, love you love you love you, take care
Big hugs to anyone feeling the same way, it's a super tough time for loads of reasons :( I don't know if this is necessarily helpful, but I thought I would share how I try to gently face my thoughts so that it's less scary to be in silence. This year my anxiety has worsened to the point of being debilitating most of the time and I'm also having obsessions and compulsions, never had them before. I basically go from a state of being engulfed by the thoughts to a state of pushing them down, but I'm trying to implement a happy medium.
I take a few minutes, every once in a while, to face the thoughts and just look at them. I've found journaling to be very soothing. Sometimes, not wanting to see something makes the thing worse, when the thing wants a little bit of attention and kindness. Sometimes your sadness or anxiety can be soothed if you acknowledge them. I see them as little creatures that need to be fed by being acknowledge and treated with patience. I've been trying to respond to my anxiety by saying "it makes sense to be scared" instead of "no shut up".
Happy to respond to anyone looking for tips, I'm not a therapist or anything but I do have some practice with coping + I do follow some really helpful therapists' accounts if I can point anyone to them!! :)
being alone has really taken a toll on my mental health over lockdown, but I know that by not interacting with other in real life I'm protecting them so it worth it but even so its so so hard.
I watched The Devil All The Time when it first came out in September (because I love Tom Holland, Sebastian Stan and Robert Pattinson) and I was honestly amazed with how good it was. It also felt good to have a break from college work and to just chill and watch a film
Love ya!!!! but for real i know the feeling, i'm not alone by myself (i live with my family and a sister but sometimes things gets........exhausting) so i'm with the constant fear of not being the same guy that started the lockdown and being different.....it's...weird.....
still we need to keep moving and taking care of ourselves <4
@doddlevloggle I used to watch you a lot a few years ago and then I kind of quit watching vlogs and stuff like that for some reason. But I keep coming back to you, whether it’s a memory of your music and candid content or my new classmate listening to your songs nonstop 😁 I’ve experienced a few episodes of depersonalization for the first time in my life a few weeks back and it’s been really rough.
Not sure if I had an actual point with my rambeling other than that I appreciate you. Stay safe. ❤️
I would enjoy a cup of tea and a conversation anytime although I am more on the other end of the scale (I can spend a lot of time on my own and being with too many people let's me seek out solitude) Enjoy your tea, you definitely deserve it
This hit me hard, I definitely relate to the de-personalization thing. Lockdown has led to me to realize Im not as introverted as I have thought for like, 15 years. Turns out I need ppl to function, which realizing is both liberating because Im understanding myself better but also HORRIFYING because being utterly depending on being around other ppl takes away that element of control I always thought I had but didnt.
You know it’s ok feel like you need people around, we are social beings, we like to have people around to talk to, so don’t feel like it’s bad to be upset about being alone because guess what your not “alone” in feeling that, I hope everybody is ok doin good, love you all❤️
It's really interesting because I've been alone for like most of my life, no friends, just myself for company. And now, this year, countless people are experiencing what I have always experienced. 'Even my bones feel lonely'. When Dodie said that I realised that I have always had that feeling, just lingering within me all the time. It's just strange seeing a lot of people are struggling with a thing that is the norm for me (being isolated). It's basically the meme where the guy is in the gallows and says 'first time?'.
Why is it that i always procrastinate to watch her vids and then feel sooo much better when i watched it .. it is like a really small therapie session for me personally and always hits home so bad
I FEEL THIS SO MUCH I MISS HUMAN BEINGS god i just want to hug my boyfriend and my friends and and my family! i thrive of genuine human connection i’ve been struggling with only being able to see people through a screen! especially as i’m all alone in my london flat:’)))
hey. i've been alone 100% by myself for like 3 months now and I love it. I've always thought that solitude is so looked down upon and always have wondered why people never learn to be by themselves. These are the most obvious tips but it's literally what I do: - work (always good to keep your mind off the crazy world outiside) - fun breaks (watch movies, sit down and read) - just playing music and singing non stop for hours until you need to do something else hope this helps
While I've always had friends (not always close friends though) I've been in "quarantine" plenty of times in my life, not because of a virus but usually because of random chance (my friends being busy or away, me living in the middle of nowhere and so on), it's really difficult to me not to say to basically everyone in the world "told ya" now that all the people that constantly said to me "you need to learn to like being on your own" are freaking out "only" because they have not seen people in 1-2 weeks, but instead I want to share what I learned across the years.
Humans are hardwired to need others, there's nothing you can do, it's in our gene, and I'm being literal here, sure, you might not be able to handle parties or meeteing a lot of new people and stuff, but you still need company. But when you cannot get that, when you are forced to being alone not all hope is lost, it's important to understand that while being alone you are going through something similar to an illness, you don't have energy, you don't feel well, and if usually when you have a bad flu or something you don't blame yourself because you are not doing things and being productive you shouldn't if feeling alone is making you do the same, it's fine to just relax, consume lots and lots of movies, series, books and stuff, because when you are alone you need to focus on surviving, not on thriving, you need to resist till the day you can meet someone again, or at least this is how I was able plenty of times to not fall into total despair.
(I used "you" a lot and it sounds like I wanted to address dodie directly, that's not the case I just wanted to say something that was in my mind for a while, I hope this can help someone)
I like to put on my comfort movies in the background and when they end I just start them again and this is how I've "watched" Wreck it Ralph over 100 times
My boyfriend and only friend broke up with me during this awkward time. Dodie saying her bones felt lonely is such an accurate way to describe what I'm sure so many including myself are feeling right now haha
i find it really interesting how this year has affected us all differently, and how we all have reacted to it differently.
i started this year with at least 5 or 6 people i would do anything for, and now i talk to 2 people outside of my parents and 1 of my brothers, and they are a couple lol. dealing with the death of my oldest brother, by myself with no one comforting me in the way i expected or needed, and my anxiety finally reaching detrimental levels rather than just being upsetting, i am the loneliest and happiest i have been in a while. my biggest fear before this year was that id become a hermit, lonely and alone, because idk how to make friends. Now im content with that being a self fufilling prophecy; even if im scared that that feeling will dissipate and some god awful depression is just around the corner. this year has been a ride, and im not ready for future existentialism, but it is what it is and no matter how much it upsets me that idk how to talk to friends id had for years that didnt help me a fraction of how much i helped them, i know there will still be things that make me happy, even if rn people do anything but make me happy.
I’m very introverted, so I kinda enjoy being alone to recharge. I totally agree with what you’re saying though, about being alone, and having to sit with yourself, and needing distraction in the background. I also think there is a difference between being alone, and being lonely too.
At uni, I had housemates that I didn’t fit in with, and they just couldn’t understand why I was so different. They were law students, and super loud and obnoxious; I was the weird, shy illustration student with low self-esteem, who kept to herself...(I couldn’t move house because of contracts). I guess that’s loneliness, even though you’re still with people in the same house. (That was a few years ago, I’m fine now!)
But I know this is a totally different situation, and its hard as normal life has been turned upside down for everyone, and we’re forced to stay home; shops are shut, and we can’t sit in cafes with a friend or family, or travel like we used to. It’s super easy to get distracted with the infinite scroll, or go down a YouTube rabbit hole.
Sometimes it’s okay to just sit for a minute, with a cup of tea or coffee, or like you say, putting down screens, and watching a film. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes and do things for yourself.
I know everyone’s situation is different, and we all have different ways of coping. I guess it’s a learning curve for us all, to learn more about who we are as individuals, to be kinder, by doing more acts of kindness, and keeping others safe by staying home. 💕
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Mia E2020-11-23 00:00:20 (edited 2020-11-23 00:55:03 )
YES THE QUEENS GAMBIT ANYA TAYLOR JOY IS SO PRETTY AND COOL
How jealous out of 10 are you that I have a freckle under my left eye so it's like a Dodie-dot, I think you should reach out and try and find someone who has both eyes freckled! Someone MUST have the natural Dodie-dot! They deserve a free bit of merch
😂
I find playing social video games helps satisfy that lack of social interaction. If video games aren't your cup of tea, Dungeons and Dragons is surprisingly accessible online and with friend.
Welp I can totally relate to this. Right now I'm watching all of the SNL Youtube uploads because they are so hilarious and because I can't stay in focus on my homework for more then 10 minutes. My mental health is at the moment on it's lowest then it has ever been. Life is so much fun!
I think making a whole video articulating your thoughts on loneliness WHILE BEING SO SO LONELY is a huge accomplishment. Cut yourself some slack, love.
Loneliness is something I'm unintentionally an expert in, even prior to the pandemic. In small doses it's good to get away from people. In unacceptably large doses your mind begins to cannibalise itself. We rely on other people to remind us we're normal and when we don't have that, we lose all perspective. You wonder why people in solitary confinement experience such severe symptoms, just imagine all the things about yourself you find weird you tell your friends and family and imagine not being able to do that. You slowly convince yourself you ARE weird and the loneliness reinforces that in a vicious cycle: you think you're alone BECAUSE you're weird and because you're weird you think you'll always be alone. This is even worse if you had long periods of being alone earlier in life as you never had that perspective to begin with and need to spend years catching up and going through multiple depressions to get to a place where you feel normal. You also lose the practice you get speaking and the thinking that accompanies it so your ability to think and speak in real time stagnates. As before if you experience being alone early on then it's much more difficult to fix later. Many people are experiencing all of this for the first time and no doubt many will be gone from us now because it was too much for them, as necessary as all these restrictions are. Since we're going through this again, please take care of each other, and when this is all finally over, remember the experience and let it give you empathy going forward.
That is also why I scared of silence, all of my childhood I’ve been taught to either stay quiet or trouble. But also that silence meant my parents were disappointed in me, I cannot sleep without noise, it’s nerve wracking and It makes my skin crawl
Man I understand this so much, and I also would like to give you company on a nice safe video chat whenever you are alone. Like whenever you like to have voices from a person resonating through your house. We should all be more okay with being with ourself, but it’s also very normal to want to have loved ones around because there’s no other feeling than that connection with a group, or the laughs with a loved one, so don’t ever feel wrong for longing for that :)
Dodie, I will always be here to help you. All I ever want is to be with you. I have been lonely for 38 years. I would love to meet you face(mask) to face(mask).
My way of coping with the loneliness has been putting on Dodie and Sav’s videos. Just listening to someone speaking about their thoughts fills the silence so well. I also struggle with dissociation but at least this way I’m spacing out while I listen to people’s beautiful words instead of whatever is on my phone
I’m 21 and have literally zero friends so I have no choice but to be alone. The only people I talk to are my parents and sometimes my brother but he’s in the military so I don’t get to chat with him that much. Idk, I’ve never had many friends so I’m pretty used to it and am content being alone, but with covid and now winter approaching I’m feeling kinda shitty. I don’t mind being alone, it’s being lonely that’s tough.
I spend so much time trying to convince my brain to wake up fully. It feels like running at 60%. But either way, I am doing my best and being kind to myself. It isnt too bad all the time
thank you for being so honest, i know you've said you don't like talking about stuff like this when you're in the middle of it, but this felt really nice, so thank youu. also, and this is probably old news, but the thing that helps me the most with scrolling less is setting the tiny tiniest goals, like sososo small, because then you'll most likely succeed, and that'll make it easier to succeed again (it's like a proven psychological thing). because sometimes our brain just needs to experience the thing and realise that it works. and also to experience that we won't die from the immense discomfort. because experiencing that we are strong enough to endure the pain is different from knowing it/being told.
I space out and get a lot of brain fog, being with friends normally helps combat that but that's not possible right now. im also someone who just finds themselves 'wasting time scrolling' and then feel bad that i wasn't being productive. Podcasts have really helped recently, also playing the sims while one is playing. this feels like the only thing that can relax me currently.
For me, the fact I actually feel comfortable being by myself so much does make me realise how much I've had to learn that as a coping mechanism in life. If Covid has taught me anything, it's that my DPD most likely stems from having had to adapt my mind to cope with tough situations and being on my own so much over the years - so that now, isolation feels pretty normal. I don't have any intrusive thoughts or worries when I'm on my own, really...I just get on with things like I always do. So maybe that's it: the world (& in my experience, people) are often nasty - so being on my own and learning to numb myself to any negative emotions that might come from that has been the best 'survival tactic' for me.
This is so interesting to me as I deal with constant auditory hallucinations and haven't been "alone" for like 10 years? To have constant commentary on everything in my life is difficult, and being alone (as in, no real people around) can either make things ten times worse or actually managable. But I don't know what I'd do with silence to be honest. The voices I hear are nearly always negative, mostly about me, so its difficult to self reflect accurately and objectively. Idk. In conclusion this video is interesting and talking about the struggle of being alone with ourselves, especially these days with phones and constant distraction is super important. Also, yesssss for the Amanda love!! Her channel is awesome.
Be true to yourself, you'll make it. When I was a teenager I was always with friends to avoid feeling alone, I couldn't stand it, but now I'm old I've learned to love being alone. Music and films are a good way to learn to enjoy solitude. And yes, have as much tea as you want.
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Replies (1)
Bruce Le Smith2020-11-23 18:21:10 (edited 2020-11-23 18:55:41 )
also, for me my fear of being alone was linked to an overactive ego. When we are in the womb we are never alone, we are always with our Mom, even when she farts we feel a huge earthquake! Then the first year or so someone is with us 24/7 (unless you're Tarzan but even then you'd have talking animals). After that our caregivers and teachers are constantly there monitoring us and correcting our behaviours. Eventually our friends take on this role of observing our behaviour and giving us praise or warnings. So for the first 18 years of life our ego is getting continuous feedback on itself from others. When we have a moment when that goes away we feel very different!! No one is watching us, no one is listening to us, what could that mean?! At first our ego starts to praise and warn itself constantly, to fill the gap of no one else paying attention to it, and of course that is annoying and feels strange. But eventually when you let go of your ego you can start feeling comfortable being alone. It takes a long time, it won't happen overnight. For me I started letting go of my ego by reminding myself that 'most of the time most of the people mostly don't care what you're doing'. Sounds harsh, but most of the time most of the people are thinking about their own egos. They're sitting with you but they're mostly thinking about themselves and how others are seeing them (did they think I was strange when I did that? did they like it when I did that? should I do this in front of them or will they reject me? etc.) So being alone is a way to start seeing your own ego in action, without all the noise and excitement of company, and when you see your ego more clearly it's easier to acknowledge it. That's the first step to learn to truly listen to others for who they are, and not just for how they make you feel. When you're alone try to just observe and touch the world around you, and try to create art, crafts and music out of the world. P.S. I still have ego of course, it's just less strong than it used to be, and every day is day 1
i always thought i was good at being alone, since i was a kid ive been maladaptive daydreaming which means if im lonely or bored i just fantasize and imagine these little worlds until i move onto the next thing. it wasn't until this year i realised how dangerous all of that really is, you can be just in your head imagining these places or people that don't exist for hours on end. its been chronic for me my whole life. no solution to that yet but im working on it lol
when you started saying how quiet it was and got silent for a while it felt like you left and i was alone again... it absolutely sucked and that’s when i realized i was using even this video to fill a sort of void
i like to be alone as long as i know i have the option to be with ppl if i want to. Even over the phone is fine. It actually worries me sometimes how okay i am with not leaving my house for a few days at a time (although i've never lived completely by myself so idk abt that)
So I get that this isn't a new upload but I haven't kept up with your channel in quite some time and so lately I've been reading your book and it's felt like listening to you speak to the parts of me that need someone close and endearing. Even watching this video while eating lunch alone in my own house feels like I'm catching up with a friend and that has helped me feel less scared of the quiet. I love that when I'm watching you speak, it's not me watching a YouTuber; it's me watching and listening to a childhood friend I never had.
They're lifting restrictions where I live and every little bit of me wants to hang out with friends that I haven't seen in a long time or I don't know /do something/ and it sucks to always have to like deny this one thing that would really be healthy for me lol. You're not alone dodes
Yup. Still figuring out how to soothe the loneliness feelings and attempting productivity instead of sitting down then looking up from scrolling or games and it's been hours.
I have the same problem with scrolling apps (social media or whatnot) so I set app timers so I'm only on them for a certain time every day. So instead of mindless scrolling, if you know you only have a couple hours for the whole day, you'll be more intentional with your use. It helped me a lot!
holy crap "even my bones feel lonely" would be such a good song lyric I might just have to use it, oops- starts collecting more ideas
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Daniel Jensen2021-01-14 20:38:52 (edited 2021-01-14 20:41:07 )
I watch YouTube videos constantly to shut up my brain, but then I end up finding videos like this that kinda just make me feel bad for doing it while I'm doing it and I continue to do it...
And the funny thing is I'm still kinda getting shit done, but I'm left wondering how much more I could get done if I didn't waste most of like every single day...
That pied piper sample sounds like having it in the background would feel like you were living in the Fallout universe dystopia... and that could be weirdly soothing or terrifying lol not sure which
having to spend a lot of time with yourself alone is particularly difficult when you hate yourself and your own company. i understand why people get bored of me so easily now, im so bored of me
My best friend-- at least I thought she was-- is my roommate, and she just decided she wants to live alone, so she's kicking me out. I'm shaking. She knows I have nowhere to go. My funds are low due to losing my job bc of covid. I have no family and nowhere to go. I'm more alone and terrified than I've ever been. Thanks for uploading Dodie, you're helping me calm down. Thank you.
yea im feeling like that to, i just zone out all day long and just avoid all situations, its so horrible, and its scary when it randomly kicks in and i get this massive anxity feeling like in my heart
i feel so bad for people in lockdown alone ;-; i’m with my family and have no friends so my life isn’t really that different except i do dissociate when everyone goes to work and stuff. love to everyone stay safe xx
I'm feel very very alone too. I live alone, during a lockdown (and a tiered system which is highly unfair on those who live alone). I have very few people to contact, and none to talk about the deep things with. I work from home due to Covid which adds a lot of stress. So I get it.
Currently spacing out of my surroundings as Dodie talks about how she does the exact same thing, but in all honesty I hate doing this daily. So many things I could be doing but trying to stay motivated while alone in my own head is so hard 😬😌 Gonna put my phone down now and actually do something
I see you, I know what it means. You’re alone at home and the second you stop scrolling your phone or watching Netflix, you disconnect from yourself. I used to spend d a y s sitting on my sofa, not even moving because my anxiety would literally give me a panic attack after 15 seconds. It’s hard, you compare yourself to all the other people your age and you feel like shit. I get it. What changed everything for me was practicing mindfulness. I was so helpless so I gave it a chance. The first months I couldn’t sit still for more than two minutes, keeping my eyes close made me feel dizzy and when I opened them I felt even more derealised. But then I noticed some changes. I felt like for the first time in years I could feel my body, feel the things around me and not like I was two different people watching a movie of my life. Please give it a try. All the love✨
this is interesting for me to watch because i'm struggling with not being alone enough - i'm still in highschool, so i live with my sister and we switch between my parents' houses weekly. the change of scenery helps, but it's still a bit much being stuck in a house all day with two other people. when i'm alone, i walk around the house and talk to the cat and listen to music and don't really feel the need to think too hard about anything. when my family is home, i'm either thinking and interacting and feeling overwhelmed or i'm sitting in my room or on the couch staring at a screen and trying to shut off my brain. i am not sure if i feel this way because i live with people and am not often alone, because i am an introvert, or a mix of both. i am not sure why i'm commenting about this, but i just thought i'd share and am kind of wondering if anyone else experiences this. maybe i will feel the way dodie does when i move out and live alone?
I don‘t live alone so I can‘t really talk about being lonely.. But my dad is, and he just recently got a cat and i feel like that has helped him in his being lonely tremendously. Friends of mine Foster puppies, and I know its not for everyone but if u can i think its something that help both u and the animal..
Also dodie is so fuuucking beautiful like what 0.0
i 'member thinking the same thoughts when i was Dodie's age a couple of years ago, spacing out, getting deeper into the essence of things, overthinking constantly. I don't think there's bottom in space. The more you think and expand your knowledge and understanding bubble, the larger the contact area with the unknown. I know the feel she's talking about when you don't want to admit you need people at times to function. Unfortunately, i learned it the hard way that you can not function and still live. Or rather exist. To shush away the dependency thought, put it in a different perspective - think of what you can give people while communicating and it will make it feel like an exchange rather than strictly getting help. It's true about youth and all that stuff. It's just hard to be happy on command, too. You're doing it right staying alone right now and deminishing the risk, Dodie. I believe you will find a way to feel better soon. It's not about trying harder if you ask me, it's figuring out what works for you. And I'm sure you will.
Being alone and being alone with thoughts are two very different things that need to be recognized. Being alone with thoughts is good to do but not for a long period of time. Being alone (I find it best when meditating... not to be cringe) is so calming for relaxing but is only good in moderation as all thing should be. Take some time for yourself and be kind to yourself like dodie said! I hope this helped someone ❤️
Everyone I live with is still at work (school and essential) and I'm here on furlough, all alone with my thoughts at home. I'm constantly with background noise, restarted a game on my switch and I've got near constant chat with a friend since we're both one braincell and need the same thing
the most relatable video yet. i think the combination of not having a job + not being able to see friends + seasonal depression = a highly depressive & low energy vibe around the house. it’s absolutely exhausting. it does feel good to be heard though, i’m sorry it sucks for us rn, dodie. but we’ll muddle through like we always do. <3
Honestly I love being alone. I actually am a bit scared to move in with my bf because I'm afraid of never getting to be alone. Right now I am living with my parents again after having lived alone for a while at uni and I miss it so much. I miss being able to keep my door open and not worry about other people popping in or being nosy about what I am up to or talking to me at all....
Now when I get the house to myself I jump up and down lol. Fuck I'd love to be home alone.
i just moved out of my family home for the first time. it's a 2 bedroom apartment, but it's mostly hardwood floors and also super echoy sometimes. i turn on the tv in the background for noise too. but it really only gets bad at night. anyone else like this? all the soul sucking alone-ness (even if i live with a roommate) and the horrible anxieties and thoughts about mortality and human life and the inevitability of things really only hit me hard at night, during the day doesn't bother me at all. and oof, i had a full on anxiety attack in the shower yesterday because i couldn't stop thinking about it all and shaking and having trouble breathing and being in my own body and i just full on screamed at one point because it was not a good time. idk why i'm saying all this. thanks for this video dods.
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P Lestrange2020-11-27 01:03:38 (edited 2020-11-27 01:04:07 )
Me: opens videos Dodie: plays that clip of Amanda's video Me: oh. OH. Ohh. Oh no. Ow
I'm in the same place as 19 year old Dodie (figuratively and literally), but I'm in halls instead and often find myself wishing for a little bit more quiet. I spend a lot of time by myself and usually do okay in my own company, but there's a weird conflict going on where I both need to be alone and need to interact with other humans so I stop sleeping/all-nightering my life away. V odd
I'm 15 so I've been around my family 24/7 for the last... how many months has it been now? Honestly it hasn't been ideal, I'm not the biggest fan of my home environment, but at least I've got my mom to check on me when I'm in a depressive episode lol and the whole of the internet to help me pretend I'm anywhere else
Human beings are meant to live in communities. We did for the first 9000 or so years of our current homosapien experience. The idea that we have to be alone is a hard one to try to conceptualize. I hope you know that many of us need people, even if we don't want to admit it <3
For anyone feeling lonely, here's some tips I found useful. Feel free to spread them yourself if you want. Claim them as your own if you wish. If it helps others, tell them. FIRST thing I found that helps, get into a new hobby. I'm currently getting into concept art because I enjoy gritty realism in drawings and I like being able to make stuff I admire when I look at it. I've also been getting into 3d printing and painting and electronics (cough cough iron man suit) which is expensive but oh so satisfying. It just helps to find new stuff. Or maybe rekindle some old interests that you never got good at, take a deeper look as to why they flopped, and try it out with what went wrong in mind. Second thing I found that helps, especially with the social aspect of things. Go over to Discord (I'm just saying that because it's easiest for me) and connect with new people. Join a server full of people who share your interests, and people who are nice and able to give you advice and just talk. It's a nice platform in the right place. Third thing I found that helps, and trust me, it helps a lot. Don't be hard on yourself for not doing anything if you're being lazy. We call it laziness but in all reality, it's just us having nothing to do and indulging in our desire to not have to do anything for once. Hope this helps whoever finds it :D
its awful. i really feel this. dodie, i can’t express how much you’ve helped me through lockdown (in the US too, where cases are still getting worse and worse lol). and not just though lockdown, literally through like 5 ish years of poor mental health. not to mention being incREDIBLY inspirational to me musically and motivating me when nothing else can- i really could never thank you enough. ILYSM.
I spend more time in my own like fantasy storyline/different versions of me at different ages in different places interacting with different people basically anything other than my own person than I do with myself. Like I will pace around my room acting out a thing I have in my head.
Two years ago my parents were visiting the UK as they were living in Spain. My mum, who had really bad ashthma spent too long sitting in cars and unbeknownst to all developed blood clots on her lungs, which put a lot of pressure on her heart. After a month in hospital they finally found out it wasn't her heart that was the problem and started treatment for her to recover from the blood clots. She got discharged from hospital with an Oxygen tank and blood thinners and a plan for recovery. In the last few days in hospital she also picked up the flu. within 3 days she was back in hospital and, due to the stress on her heart had to be induced into a coma I'm the hope that they could treat her flu and take pressure off her poor heart. It didn't work. The only thing they could do at this point was let her out of the coma to day goodbye to my sister and dad before her heart gave out. I couldn't get to Spain before she passed. I didn't get to say goodbye. This is a similar story to the majority of Covid deaths, where the desease puts too much pressure on systems already struggling with other heath issues. It's especially hard because so many people have been alone when they died. So many loved ones have to deal with this without saying goodbye. This is why you ARE saving people by staying at home. We all are. For those struggling with not seeing people: you are my hero for staying strong social distancing and staying home. You are sparing people from going through what my family went through, what so many families are going through with Covid. Thank you.
i wish i could help you out. it’s hard to feel that way when i live with 5 other people, a noisy dog and i’m 17 and have to sleep in a bunk bed with my 12 y/o sister
You are one of those artists I like instantly. Not sure what is it about the songs you play, it seems like so much pleasure to be able to come up with such creations.
I live in a triad, three of us in the house. We've just moved in two years ago, and we're all shit at making new friends, so we kind of spent the year before quarantine as just the three of us. But this enforced isolation has definitely been different. No trips to the cinema, no eating out, finding new reastaurants, no just going downtown and strolling (for me, anyway, the other two couldn't care less for that sort of thing), not even being able to try and make new friends or date or anything. So yes, lots of scrolling here, lots of why bother with clean clothes and showers and shaving, lots of putting on the headphones. Not as much reading as I expected though. But yeah, we're lonely with you, so I hope it makes you feel less alone.
i've always been really fucking good at being alone because i'm incredibly introverted and have not historically been great at maintaining friendships. quarantine has been quite reminiscent of a bunch of summers i've spent completely alone, seeing friends once a month. and now it's like that but i also have ~things~ to do like school, college apps, internships, etc. but i think this video made me realize that i've literally never allowed myself to be alone with my thoughts. i always have something else to distract me, a podcast, a book, a show, social media, work, etc. my idea of being alone has always been to entertain myself. maybe i'll try being truly alone sometime, but it sounds so fucking scary
being an only child i developed a fear of being alone. when i was little i had my cousins with me who were basically my siblings but then i had to move across the country. the fear of being alone sky rocketed and put me in a cycle of being scared then awkwardly calm. quarantine has made me realize how easy it is to fall into that fear again and again. luckily i've also realized that we are truly never alone. these days we have the ability to connect with people we haven't even met. i'm so incredibly thankful to have the internet. being alone is terrifying but then i remember it doesn't last long :)
I've had a terrible time figuring out how to be alone over the past few years. It's led to me feeling the worst I've ever felt. I was doing well for a while. Then, the pandemic hit and I couldn't go out and combat this loneliness anymore. So it has definitely been a struggle this year to find peace within myself.
I hope everyone is doing okay though. And know that just because you feel a certain way it doesn't mean you're stuck feeling like that forever. Things get better, life progresses. Even in the current situation we're in we can still continue our lives for the better. I have hopeful thoughts for the future and for all of us in the comments having a hard time ❤️
This is such a complicated subject. I have a really hard time discerning if I am actually incredible at being alone and like it (a little too much!) or if I simply do not realize that I am in fact never alone, kind of like Amanda said, and if I really was I would be losing my mind.
It's so weird for me because I grew up with 4 siblings, all three sisters in a room together most of my life. Then I had boyfriends and roommates and still have never even lived fully alone in my 27 years on earth. So why in the hell would I actually know what being ALONE is??
I do know that even though being alone is something I thoroughly need in my life and enjoy for the most part, this pandemic has stretched that farther than anyone really needs. I have also found that I have a really hard time with the things I used to have a moderately hard time with. Like...not being alone haha or talking to people, going to the store, leaving my room (that's gotten better thankfully).
Anyway, I think I am just sort of stating my perspective and how I feel about it. But I will say, yoga, meditation and simply going on a walk every day has helped loads with everything. And if you live somewhere (I am in an OK part of the US right now) where even going on a walk isn't safe, I am so sorry and I am sending my love. <3
I moved to London in early March and I haven't made ONE single friend and it's super depressing, spending my first Christmas alone away from my fam too! Although I'm also secretly loving the alone time it's like a 50:50 split depending on the day, 2021 better be fucking amazing
I feel like we have been raised and taught to seek love and I understand that humans are naturally social beings but.. I feel like we have to see ourselves that friend, that family member, that lover. When you’re alone, your mind takes over and makes you uncomfortable. It’s trying to speak to you. Maybe listen. I get it. Shits hard, and the worlds a wreck and we’re all just inevitably bolting into the unknown, but why is it so bad to not be comfortable? Why do you have to distract yourself so hard? Look around you for a sec and feel what you feel
I'm mostly alone most times but as I'm still with my family it's not too lonely but I do know where your coming from and it makes me miss going outside at times or seeing college friends. Though I always know I have friends online to talk to.
While I'm not living alone, I am definitely spending more time alone than usual and I thought I had become used to being alone with my thoughts but then my brain said "hey, remember the doubts you had about your gender years ago? They're still here!" So now, whenever I'm alone I just play podcasts to focus on something else and not on a endless spiral of confusion I really feel for people living alone right now
I have been alone in my completely silent flat since march, I haven't been into a shop or anywhere other than a walk. Being at home all the time has made my OCD get so bad that I feel like I am going insane and need a straight jacket, I wake up in the middle of the night hyperventilating
I focus on: being alone doesn't mean doing nothing. I make things, especially things for other people. I make a hat for my niece and think about the funny things she said on the family holiday. I sing songs I used to listen to walking in forests back home in NZ. I make videos about my favourite places and think about when I will be there again.
Give yourself permission to take a few minutes, occasionally, to just "not do anything". I know this is compounded with your 'dissociative' illness, so you do you as you know how. But we don't always have to be 'on' ALL the time so don't beat yourself up about just idling out of gear sometimes. And with this virus changing the way we live for the foreseeable future, there are going to be more times when we want to not have an agenda. For me, I keep my favorite chat room open onscreen. It's in a forum centered around my favorite hobby and there are two dozen 'regulars' and we're keeping each other sane for now. Perhaps you can connect with other film makers because you have excellent editing skills in setting a mood and telling a story, even if it only seems like you are recording inner dialog to you. 💖
I literally was thinking about it yesterday under my shower, cause like It's only time where I'm forced to not 'scroll', and it's hard. It's so hard. I'm used to being alone, but this year is just too much. The little time I've used to spend with someone is even more limited and my depression is hitting hard. I'm trying to be kind to myself but it's just...tiring. So thanks dodie for sharing, now I'm at least less lonely in all this I guess.
I just spiral when I'm alone, I can't help it. I'm quite tired of hearing people telling me that "learning to be alone" is the key to happiness. I've come to the conclusion that I need to be surrounded by the people I love to thrive and I'm quite ok with it. Since I understood that I needed company to function I just managed to live with roomate(s) or a partner, and I plan a shit load of stuff with friends and family (except in 2020, obviously). I think it's ok to dislike being alone, and it' ok to be solitary. Different people, different functioning <3
We aren't meant to be this alone!! Humanity make communities and always have... everyone having their own seperate house/room is reletively new... don't blame yourself
i am grateful to be living in a house with 6 family members, but i am never quite alone. yes, i do have a room on my own, but i truly miss when the house gets empty during the weekends; they would each visit their friends or relatives and the house would be completely and beautifully quiet and mine.
now that we’re quarantined, it’s never ever quiet. being an introvert in a huge family is a struggle hhaha
I actually really enjoyed quarantine (I mean even though the reason for it is really bad and sad in most cases because a lot of people have lost someone dear). But the small period of time doing nothing was a much needed break for me. I feel like the past four years have been so busy, the ball has never stop rolling. Every little thing just snowballs into something bigger until it hits a rock on the way down and crumbles. But even after it crumbles, there are still those little remnants on the ground that stick with you. Quarantine was the first time I was given a chance to do literally nothing, and also anything (except go to the grocery store and get some jellybeans.. damn was I craving jellybeans...) Anyways I know this might be an unpopular opinion on a video about being alone and missing human interaction, but I hope others might agree with me. As someone else in the comments said, we trick ourselves into thinking that taking a break is being lazy. But I think we should be more fair to ourselves and I should be more forgiving of myself for taking small breaks to watch youtube videos like this one or read a book or bake for the hell of it even if we run out of all purpose flour and the recipe lied to you and said a cup of vegetable oil would be fine (...true story and the vegetable oil was definitely not fine). I hope someone reads this and has a little aha moment and realizes that they are actually are a great human being who can literally do anything at any point in time. It’s time to stop putting imaginary limitations on ourselves and as cheesy as it sounds, to live in the moment.
Anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk that was definitely not wanted nor necessary. Have a great day random internet person❤️
I'm 17 and I never felt a good youth. Never had good friends so I just stay alone in my room, wasting my time even I could've been doing so much, I'm scared of rejection
Queens gambit is awesome But I had to let you know that we all here in Russia are dying of laughter about that flight attendant and vodka on breakfast 😂 That’s not how Russia works, guys 😂
man i had a small visit home from school and i have been with my bf every single day for four days and slept next to him those nights, which felt so easy. but rn im laying in my bed, alone, back in school and i can’t sleep my head literally filled with everything and nothing so i went on youtube and got this video recommended. and it feels so weird bc it calls me out this in very specific moment so accurately. thats so weird, are you in my head ? was this a coincidence ?
Looking after yourself at the moment can be really, really difficult – but having ups and downs, even those ‘downest’ of downs, is still so perfectly, distinctly human. You should never feel guilty or like you’re going ‘backwards’ whenever those feelings kick in. In some ways, we’re all ‘lonely’ together at the moment; even if there’s nobody there in the flat with you, there are still people in flats and houses across the road from you, or the other side of your kitchen wall, or walking down the street every morning to get their shopping done. Those same people will be waking up on the other side of that wall from you every morning, and going to sleep on the other side of that wall every night. Just because you can’t see the other, complicated, lonely up-and-down people in the world doesn’t mean they aren’t there, and it’s all too easy to feel that you’re alone in how loud your own mind is in your life compared to other people’s. Simply put, it’s ok not to be ok sometimes; it doesn’t make you a ‘failed’ human, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re wasting your life when you’re spending time looking after it. You’re a rockstar, Dodie, in more ways than one; but it’s ok to be one of these flawed ‘human being’ things, too. x
EDIT: ...and the same goes to anyone else reading this. You're a rockstar too. x
I started vlogging so at least I have a camera to talk to. it's weird. I've been alone a lot in my life, by choice, but now I'd like the option to not be alone smh
I used to feel guilty for needing people so much to function until my therapist enlightened me by saying “everyone needs people to function. People need people, we live in a society for a reason”. Now I still feel bad, not gonna lie, but not as guilty, so that helped
I am dyslexic, that will remain true for the rest of my life. I still have to read, write, and do normal adult activities, but it doesn't mean my dyslexia is cured just because I have to muscle through it. It is also true, that I can be annoyed that I can't read nearly as fast as the people around me.
I see your need for the company to be the same thing. It just is. You can work around it, but that doesn't mean you have to enjoy forcing something you don't want. I suggest, trying to be a little nicer to yourself.
It’s so crazy to me how people can be so different in this!! I cannot relate to any of this AT ALL because I am a huge introvert. The difference between introverts and extroverts is fascinating to me. I genuinely prefer being alone most of the time and I’m very lucky because the quarantine hasn’t bothered me at all. I do need people, I doubt I could go forever without socializing, but I can go a damn good while. I hope you can find some social outlets and still be safe!! Don’t forget to hug your people (safely).
I too have spent more time with myself and I thought fine then my remote broke even after putting in new batteries and a funny thing happened,. I threw the remote in a bedroom cupboard and started to read again and started a novel.
Oof the depersonalisation thing hit hard, I am doing exactly the same thing. Scroll, scroll, scroll, stop ow hi anxiety and depersonalisation. But yes alone time, going to the toilet at a party, or actually being alone is so different. I almost constantly wear my headphones, to drown out the silence. You are however truelly amazing, you are not only saving lives now being alone. Your music saves peoples soul. I'm not gonna tell you to be kind to yourself, cause you know you should, but give yourself time. And even though this time sucks, it has thaught you things about how you deal with things.
p.s. I have obsessed with Queen's Gambit. I binged it and now I cant stop scrolling for extra things regarding it. Fuck I even picked up my 14 year old hobby chess.
For the first time in my whole life I feel lucky to be a loner who doesn't have many friends or a social group. COVID time isn't really super different to normal life for me (I mean I work from home now and wear a mask and there's a sense of weird fear all the time so it's definitely not normal but I wasn't going to restaurants or concerts or parties before). I wish I could send a little bit of my strange skillset to all of you lonely people. I'll let you know if I figure out how to package it.
Ugh the devil all the time was SO good. It was so weird to A. See Dudley dursey in that role, and B. To hear that perfect high pitched southern/Midwestern preacher voice come out of robert pattinson's face.
Hello, it’s late where I am, but I’ll type this out before going to bed. There are currently almost 500 comments on this video, so if you, dodie, (to whom this is addressed) don’t see it, that’s okay. Even if you do, I won’t know. That’s okay. I will share my thoughts anyways. Being alone, can truly be awful. I think there are a lot of lonely people people all over the world. People who don’t have anyone right now. I’ve been lonely for a good bit of my life, and would definitely not recommend it. I want to be here for all those people who are lonely. Not out of pity, mind you. But to improve the lives of others as best I can. To bring smiles and company, because I’ve been there and sometimes can still be lonely like that, and I don’t want anyone else to have to go through that. I am here, for anyone who needs it. I hope that you will find the strength to continue to take care of yourself. Tea is great, and cocoa too, as winter approaches (in the northern hemisphere) It can be so hard to do those basic actions of self care, but they’re so worth it. Kindness is quite important, as I’m sure you know. This year is not a waste, the time we spend scrolling or consuming art is not a waste. Those experiences will shape us, and hopefully we’ll be better off in the end. I know it probably doesn’t feel like that now. I’m struggling too. But life will go on. And in the meantime, there are people, like me, who are here. Here to listen and engage in conversation and laugh and feel. This world is so beautiful, and something even like a pandemic won’t keep that beauty down. Taking the time to let yourself think is important, and hella scary. Writing down thoughts in journal or making an audio log can help, just to get them out there. Even therapy is thankfully still possible, albeit it a much different form. I hope you’re doing well, despite all of everything. I’m grateful you have tea and friends and music. All beautiful things. Thank you, dodie, for sharing part of your life with me. You’ve brought comfort to so many, you’ve brought smiles (and tears) to many faces. That’s absolutely beautiful. I’m looking forward to the future, and I hope to see you shine even brighter there. Thank you for being you, for being so unabashedly human. I love this world, and people like you are exactly part of the reason why. You’re so beautiful, so great. I know it’s hard. But it’s worth it. It’s worth it because of that beauty, because of beautiful songs and people and skies and food. You have positively impacted my life, and I want to support you in yours as best I can. And to anyone else reading this, you don’t have to feel lonely *alone*. I’m here, if only to be lonely together. I don’t mind. Be patient with yourself, and thank you for reading.
art has rlly what’s been keeping me sane. making it and looking on insta at other people improve, ive had little to no motivation to create but when i do it’s TERRIFYING how much i can get done lmaolmao . also hot tea fresh out of the shower listening to asmr falling asleep.... pure serotonin. yes the tea makes it hard to fall asleep... it’s just more time to experience the asmr >:] (so go to bed early pls HAKJDJ) also realized a lot about my gender and mental health too which is really exciting!! so yea, this year feels less like dates and more like “??? Achievement ??? Here and there????” But it hasn’t been too bad 💞🌺
We're social beeings. Everything we have and everything we are is due to our drive to interact with one another. It's okay to crave company :) and it's okay to suffer from not having any.
To me it's kind of crazy that even as a total reclusive hermit, the mood basically everywhere makes me feel lonelier and less motivated to do anything , than usual. And i've not even changed anything about my life and habits beside wearing masks. The oppressiveness of the situation gets to everyone. :/
Being alone made me realise that I need to sing more and say sorry less. I love my own company but people are cool and I miss them. I've cried almost every day(happy and sad tears). The one constant that I've dealt with since March has been my UTTER DISGUST at the way I look. It has been the reason for many tears and when I got dumped, I felt that that was the reason. I'm FINALLY changing that! Bye bye double chin
I have the exact opposite problem lol. I'm so used to being alone, I've been quarantining with my family for eight? months now and I still feel like I haven't gotten used to having people up in my business aLL OF THE TIME (up in my business aka living in the same house as me). it makes me feel like I can't think straight because everyone is always interrupting my thoughts and it's sO DISTRACTING funny how it works, u are an introvert who wants people around more, I am an extrovert who just wants to be back in college in her dorm with her cat and a l o n e
The spacing is the whole reason I game.. It makes me focus on something else than my own thoughts and results in happiness for me. Due to chronic pain & chronic fatigue, I haven't been able to work or attend classes, so for about 4 years now I have been home, luckily with my pets, but other than that, alone. Here and there partners that last for about a year each, but that's fine, I'm ok with this.
Just sometimes it gets tough, but eventually it will all go away, things get better and I just take it day by day, miracles won't just happen, they take time.
Take good care of yourself to whomever reads this, if needed, take a step back, do something that relaxes you and then try again! You got this, I'm proud of you.
I go to university in a city far away from my home and friends and eventhough I have friends here, they dont give me the same kind of comfort I get when I'm around the people I grew up with. Lately I have been feeling really depressed, so I knew nothing better than to distance myself from every living creature I know and right now, realising that that might not be the best idea i cant stop. I spend my days basically not talking to anyone, studying and stressing out about uni. I mean we are currently in a pandemic, so it's kind of smart to isolate for a bit, but...you have to notice warning signs and get active before the loneliness gets to you if that makes sense
36, French, gentleman, and really concerned by love and humanity here, especially by nature and all things who live on this planet <<< ^^ Joking i'm just alone with that fucking virus ... Hugs with you doddle O/\O Let's go for some beautifull, awesome, truthly, rainbows , COVID chords ?
This will probably one of many comments in a crowded ocean, but I just wanted to tell you something. The way you communicate with us is, at least for me, incredibly soothing. Your music sparks joy and inspires me to do greater things. Thank you for being you, Dodie! (Sidenote, and also totally not creepy at all: I randomly looked up your birthday one day, and saw that we were born less than two weeks apart!) Cheers from Norway!
I have been alone a lot this year besides going to work but I have never been able to be in my terrible thoughts. It's hard to be alone even with my family in the house. It's odd for me
It's like... do I really enjoy being alone or have I just learned from a very young age to cope with being lonely from my childhood/teenage years? Does my enjoyment of being alone just stem from inescapable and unchosen loneliness, so that's just how I learned to be? ... I've been daydreaming and living in my imagination pretty much constantly these past few months, I know it's not healthy but it just feels so much easier to pretend life is something it's not right now.
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B S2020-11-23 02:09:10 (edited 2020-11-23 02:09:58 )
Books are a great way to pass the time. A great book will give you friends to hang out with. A great book I recommend is Until the End of the World by Sarah Lyons Fleming. It is a book about friends and over coming obstacles that just happens to have zombies. Also, we fans, are on Facebook and it's a great bunch of people who become friends/family.
I have dp and dr too for 3 years now I guess. I still live with my family (Im 18) yet I am afraid to stay alone for a long time and I cant keep myself from looking at my phone or my tablet or my computer. I feel like that may cause these too idk but anxiety + dp,dr + ocd hits hardddddd
I mean I know it doesn't matter but you do have people who love you all around even if you don't personally know them yet. And like, if you ever reached out, we would be here to listen and be a helping friend even from afar know that we love you.
Lonliness is just as hard when your with the wrong person... sometimes this isolation we are in, brings out things you didnt know much about ......you mentioned an album by Adrian Langka???? could you send me a link or correct the spelling... I cant find the album and I think it would be nice ... THANK YOU! :)
im an introvert and at first this all came easy to me. but when quarantine started I was a junior in hs. never in my life would I think that I would miss school. I want to get the hell out of here and never see the ppl i currently go to school with for a long time. I miss them kinda now tho :( I miss all the drama and watching movies during lunch. I miss my walks to and from school with my best friend and the convos we would have on our lil street corner. but I know that this is all worth it to save lives and to prevent the spread of covid. it’s still so saaaaaaaaaddddddd
This year I'm not more alone than usual and that makes it even worse. Every day more that I'm alone makes me more miserable. I tried to escape it for so long and now I just don't have a choice. I feel like I'm going crazy.
There a lot of things you can still do in lockdown, zoom/video call friends, play games like jackbox or among us, Netflix party is great fun when your in a call with friends, you can still socially distance meet up with 1 other friend at the moment.
This made me cry ♥ i feel the same way and think i have SAD but don't want to go to my gp to get medication because I feel like im wasting their time x
I loooove being alone more than anyhing. But even for me it's getting too much these days. When the first real lockdown happened where I live, I felt so good about having all this time to myself. But now, half a year later I find myself getting into a bad head space more and more often, whenever I have to work from home. I guess it really is natural for humans to want to be around others. Just in different capacities.
i think this pandemic is making us all rethink our relationship with others, with ourselves and with loneliness, i've been literally ruminating these thoughts for months. i want to get close to others but i always expect being rejected or saying something embarassing so i try to embrace being an introvert and having "alone time" when in reality if i spend more than 5 minutes in silence i feel so uncomfortable. if i don't enjoy being with myself, how can i expect others to enjoy my company?
A great quote from G'Kar and Babylon 5 about silence that's always spoken to me..."In here...you cannot hide from yourself."
We spend so much time distracting ourselves from ourselves in modern life that when we are finally left facing ourselves, it can be absolutely terrifying.
Having spent so much time in the silence especially of late, I would say that it's really, really difficult at first, but it's increasingly come to be a good place for me, like G'Kar.
I'm someone who is alone 99% of the time. I live with my family, I just don't spend much time with them; I cook for myself, eat alone while watching, do stuff alone, go to places cafes, malls, beach, alone. Life to me is at core experienced alone. I know I'm not at the majority side with that. But, that being said, mental stimulus that leads to certain deep essential emotions and mental states, are often exclusive in the long-run and abundant in human connection. I don't have that. And I desperately need it. And with time, and with terrible mental health especially, it sabotages every aspect of your life, even being alone, and doing things you love, alone. So I don't relate to "being alone is one of the worst feelings", but more than ever, I realize the helpless need for human connection, for someone to be there; it's kind of like eating, you don't have to like to eat or necessarily enjoy it all the time, but you do need it and you feel great when that need is met.
I’m in quarantine because I was exposed at work! I am very frustrated because I’ve been doing a good job: only going to work and school. Many of my peers, being a senior in high school, are being very irresponsible, but I have been exposed. I’ve been locked in my room receiving plates of food at my bedroom door from my mom. It is miserable. I feel ill and I’m not even sick
hi bab!!! i know u may not see this.. EVER but! i’ve felt extremely anxious for the past two days, possibly the worst amount of anxiety i’ve felt a while, and i’m very glad that you posted this today, right now! you are so amazing, thank u for being such a safe space for me
Hey Dodie, I've grown up with you, as weird as that is to say 'cause you don't know me >.< But you, and your music, and your videos are so relatable, interesting and thoughtful. I'm alone in my free time, but after watching this it does make me realise more that im rarely alone with myself or my thoughts.. I'm alone with FB or youtube or tele.. (brain explosion moment). I like watching USA news too x] You might feel like you're alone rn, but you're connecting with/ reaching out to/ helping more people than you know! Sending big socially distant hugs, thank you for being you Dodie, and you're not alone in feeling shit if thats any comfort x
C L2020-11-23 01:14:15 (edited 2020-11-23 01:17:45 )
Hear this and a puppy comes to mind. You have time now bring home all the time. Or cat. A dog will give you an task you have to do everyday. Walk, feed, play, wash. Cuddle. Enjoy life.
i get the feeling of being alone a lot, maybe last year more than this one but i still feel it. im 19, i have an entire youth to live, yet, i spend the most significant years of my teenage being alone, with not a single friend irl and only interacting with my small family. so, now i constantly live with the question of "will i keep being this lonely for the rest of my life or will it get worse?"
and i still don't have an answer for that. but at the end of the day, i have me to spend my whole life with.
Living alone in a rural part of a foreign country is also very much not it right now. I expected to have so many adventures moving here last year, but honestly I've never been so alone omg
the most ive been alone actually isn't this year, but two years ago in my first year of uni. I had no friends there and I stopped texting my friends back home. I moved out to dorms but I had no roommate and no one on my floor talked to each other. It was the worst mental health year of my life, and some of the same issues I had then im having again now, but this time I have roommates to snap me out of it. I'm so happy I have them or else this year would've been unbearable
I've been a perpetual loner. When I first moved out of my parent's house, I had no friends in the place where I lived, poor social skills, and an unfortunate inability to seek out connection.
Two times in my first year living on my own, I spent an entire week not reaching out to anybody as I had done to keep myself even the barest bit socially engaged online. As a result, I spent two weeks in virtual isolation. I wasn't gainfully employed, I had no friends, and my interactions were limited to baristas whom I made small talk with when ordering food to keep myself out of my shabby one room apartment with no air conditioning which I loved despite its shabbiness and I would walk for 8 hours a day, and listen to music, and search for work, and write.
I cannot express the genuine sense of despair those two weeks, separated by several months, engendered in me. At certain points I thought I would go insane from staring at walls. So I listened to lots of music and kept myself moving. But after both, I'd reach out to people online, normalize a bit, and eventually I found work, and roommates, and moved in with a good friend.
Since then, I've learned that sometimes, that silence holds something in it. Several years after this experience, I was in a mood because I felt disconnected from life, and I felt teary, but I didn't want to cry. I wasn't able to communicate the frustration; there was a wall surrounding my vocal cords and I was foggy and spacy.
My solution was to do something that, to that point, had frightened me mercilessly: sit in my room for 10 minutes, doing nothing. It wasn't like my guided meditations, which had a voice moving me along to my breathing. It was pure, unadulterated silence.
It was the longest ten minutes of my life. Every detail was vivid, and all I could do was feel every part of myself in the worst way imaginable. And, eventually, the tears I had been holding back finally came out and I cried. It wasn't long, and it wasn't brutal, but they came out.
And, when the ten minutes concluded, I felt some kind of release. My body de-tensed and I was back to the moment. In the silence, there was a kind of benediction.
So, my advice to the lonely right now, who have not had to deal with loneliness in the way I have. My advice to you is two fold: sit in silence, and do nothing, for ten minutes, and welcome the void in that time. Practice not judging that hollow center in your gut, or the absolute indifferent quiet. Second, after you've let what feelings sat there to come out, if any, get up, turn on some music, and dance. Or punch the air, or be loud and silly, engage with your body and come to this moment.
It's hard, but it will center you. And I know that seems like meditation, but it's distinct in my mind, and it has helped me endlessly in the years following 2 weeks of total isolation.
I mean, I don't know anything about this. I live with my family(4 ppl), I go to my aunt(4 ppl) for studying for university [when studying at home, I can't take breaks or relaxe, it's just an instant work-mode], I write all the time with other students or my friends. I don't feel alone. I can do that because I live in Germany and Covid isn't too hard here, even though the lockdown is getting harder again. Nevertheless, I will still not be alone, I still got my family and friends. And the university for staying entertained.
Also 2020 is much better for me than 2019, when I was sittingin my own lockdown of a depressive hole and can't doing anything or meeting anyone because of my fcking thoughts. For me, 2020 is really doing better than that.
From what I’ve learned, human’s aren’t meant to be alone. We are made for interaction and knowing each other deeply. We’ve been conditioned to fracture ourselves off into family units, in homes spaced away from each other, not having friendships with our neighbours. It’s hard to live like that. However, this is one of those circumstances where it’s better for us to come together by being apart. We’ll make it through this
Weirdly I always think about GCSEs whenever I'm really stressed about stuff, especially if it's new stuff to be stressed about. Let me explaun:
Whenever you're doing GCSEs there's always at least one person in your life that goes "psht wait til you get to A Levels" and it's like... you're telling a stressed out 14 - 16 year old it's only going to get worse? And also invalidating how stressed they are about the thing? And also it's likely the most prolonged period of stress they've faced in their life? Wow. Go you! You achieved nothing with that comment!
But it's an important lesson to take forward: you're stressed about the thing, yes it could be worse, but luckily you haven't experienced worse (yet). So how are you going to manage that stress? How are you going to pace yourself?
Now I say this with such a logical head like hmmm yes this will make everything better but sometimes it's shit and hard to do stuff that you know will make you better. But even if it's one thing like making yourself a cuppa, you done good ❤
Bonus tip: if you set reminders on your phone (or AI dot device thing) to do REALLY basic tasks it can be super helpful in managing yourself and chores. I have a reminder to shower at 8 on Wednesdays cos I forget until bedtime then I'm sad and grumpy about it, and I'm fairly high functioning on the whole so... 👍
dodie i have a huge piece of advice... listen to podcasts!! seriously it makes such a difference. listen to the receipts podcast it will make you feel a lot better. also get into its trust me they will actually heal your soul.
im literally here because ive been trying to sleep for an hour and was just faced with my brain telling me i will be by myself for the rest of my life so i opened youtube
Hey dodie, there are more lonely people (like me ;p )out there. greetings from my bedroom😂 Also- i've a question. Are u working with a therapist? If no- why?🙈 Love!❄
My recomendation is listening to Heavyweight. It is a podcast where a Canadian guy called Jonothan Goldstein helps people resolve something from their past (eg: a long lasting fued between brothers, etc). It's such a differant format to most podcasts, because it's filmed over a longer period of time and each episode feels like a little Louis-Theroux-style documentary but in podcast form. The tales often have some twists to them and it feels like you get a really intimate look into people's lives. Worth listening to (avaliable on Spotify and other locations).
Humans are a social species. Even if we sometimes need to get away from people, we ultimately thrive on human connection. It's not a bug, it's a feature.
It´s hard for the extroverts right now :/ But it will get better again. Now imagine the opposite situation for introverts in the "normal world" where you are normally constantly surrounded by people. It feels the same way most of your life only the other way around
I'm about three minutes in but it's already got me thinking? I'm about as introvert as you can get. I get overloaded when there's lots of talking, and I can stand about 45 minutes at a gathering with more than ten people at it? And being alone in quarentine (compared to how I spent my time before) has me searching out a dnd game that has over four hour sessions. ...... I get tired after two. Because otherwise, if I don't fill that time, I'm sleeping more of the day away than I should be to escape my own thoughts!
this video is so important because i feel less lonely... this year has been really difficult for me: i feel like i can't focus in my classes, i feel that my grades should be better because i'm not doing anything else in my life, i couldn't write for about two whole months (writing is my greatest passion), i feel alone after finally making friends last year on college (after a high school of judgment and loneliness) and sometimes i just don't want to get up... i never thought it would happen to me, but yeah...
sorry, i simply know nobody i know will read this and i need to talk... hope everyone is doing fine...
I’m watching The Queens Gambit right now! I actually live in Lexington, Kentucky (well I actually just moved a couple months ago for college) where it’s set, so it’s extra fun to watch. I even went to Henry Clay high school where she played her first official chess tournament!
Super interesting to hear you talk about this. Your story about living in Bath reminds me of when I lived alone in a tiny flat in Cheltenham when I was at uni. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and remember I was there by myself, knew nobody that lived nearby, and nobody was coming to visit me. It felt so unnatural and I've promised myself to never put myself in a situation like that again. Hope you're doing okay and can be with your pals again soon!
<333 sweet babe i too promised that to myself LOL i feel like it's a common thing to experience like the shock of the big world after school!! hoping we can aaaall be surrounded by our loveable dumb mates sooooon xxxx
I spent last two years alone. Most of the time. I literally hugged another person maybe 2 times over the last half a year. That’s after coming back from the semester of studying music in the US, finding friends and falling in love there, two years ago. Now this. Not covid. Covid was a blessing for me cause getting out of home was sickening. I kind of regretted some times over the last two years I didn’t kill myself while I still was in the US. And there are no links here in Russia to ask for help. And I wouldn’t trust any “professional” here anyway, I guess. I don’t know, got inspired to complain here. Cause I deserve it, once in a while. Together with that cup of tea.
though not a huge fan, I have only watched your asmr videos, I realized I should check some of your videos, and I really loved it! Can we also get a new asmr vid 😏?
I hate this pandemic but I feel fortunate to already live with my family so I don't suffer too much from socializing... but my parents have been fighting more than ever and I wanna leave now but I also don't wanna die...
I might live with my boyfriend but I moved so far from home to do so, and I don’t have any friends where I am. I feel so alone all the time. If he goes out I am left with the physical silence to match my inner silence. And I just... I hate it. I can’t enjoy something I avoid so much because my alone means sitting with my demons and I don’t want that
I don’t think you’re to blame for not being able to be alone with yourself and your thoughts. Our human world is made up of consumerism and distraction so I’m not surprised. I struggled with this too until I moved to the countryside... then you know what being alone really is like then now I prefer my own space? 😂 very strange
daily routine consists of hours of scrolling instagram, thinking about getting dressed, going to the kitchen to open the cupboards and stare, dont actually get food, cry and think about kissing girls
Im sending hugs, I understand the feeling of being lonely. It completely sucks, and sometimes I miss someone I hate just so that I would have someone to speak with
I don't want to add another comment to be another centimeter you scroll away - but I really related to sooo much of what you said in this video, you should also recognise the effect you have on everyone else that you aren't aware, I'm constantly inspired by how real you are in your videos and your music - also little things you've done, letting us record vocals on 6/10 I still listen to that back and I'm so proud to be a part of that - when I'm thinking particularly low and lonely these are the exact benchmarks I come back to that make me feel good again - lots of love dodo x
I've had disassociation for 8 years without a break. Recently I've had no goals and no structure to my days. Sometimes I'm double or even triple screening which is embarrassing. I've been trying for weeks now to fix my sleep so I can wake up with the sun and go outside and live but it's so damn hard. I'm letting down my avocado plant because she's only getting an hour or two of sun a day, I'm too depressed to get up earlier and open the curtains and it's so stupid, I'm making it worse for myself. My whole life I've been so high functioning and now I'm in bed for like 15 hours a day, I go outside maybe once a week and I don't know how to fix it.
For me lock down is something I have honestly loved for not so good reasons. 1 being the fact that I literally have no friends and I don't mean I have friends but I just say I don't as a joke I literally mean I have no one and its because I have serious trust issues and I cant speak and I don't know why. but this isn't to say I am completely mute like I can speak but In social situations no matter how hard I try I cant speak which can obviously come across as me just being rude or ignorant which makes me trying to speak even harder but anyway basically being surrounded but alone is one of the worst feelings but just being alone is easier to deal with and 7 months alone and not constantly dealing with judgement has made it easier to grow as a person but theres obviously a limit to how much you can do this alone if that makes sense so in short lock down for me has been good but made me what to be with people more than ever but not even because we've been alone for several months, confusing I know (90% of this probably doesn't make sense I haven't re read this it was more of a vent if anything + its 2:00am)
normally don't post comments but had to on this one because if there's anything i learnt during this pandemic it is that i am terrified of being alone and i'm glad i'm not the only one feeling this way LOL
I had the same struggle. And I think there is no way of talking one self out of the needs you have. I need food, I need air and I NEED people. Life IS relationships. Dependence is ok. It does not mean that I am powerless. But in this time limited life I am living right now there are circumstances. And I am not resisting anymore. I recommend you Teal Swan! Resistance are what negative emotions are and following our needs is somehow our life purpose.
i feel like it’s ironic that the only reason i saw that this was uploaded is bc i’ve been putting videos on while i work on my paper so that it doesn’t feel so lonely in here. ngl i spent most of my childhood alone so it’s only been these last two years at university where i’ve learned the value of being with people all the time... so the pandemic is hitting hard and i haven’t missed myself that much tbh. thankfully i live with my best friend but it still gets hard.
I also hate being alone, for exactly the same reasons as you (literally, spacing out and all). All my life I've been curious about others, their minds, their ideas, but I was also raised with idealistic unrealistic views of the world that were just not enough for me to make sense of the world [insert christian trauma here] so all of that information was really new to me. I feel a lot, so I need time to process (emotional) information. But that's hard, especially the time when I began uni, felt super down and didn't know why...
Luckily you have >>> distracting yourself from your own thoughts! <<<. University is the best place for it! You have student groups, game-nights, talks till 4 am and summer sporting days all around!
So, when I finished uni heartbroken, have been workless for a year in a pandemic, and got a burn-out, I - was shocked! Frustrated! Confused! WHY would I have a burn-out?
Of course it all makes a lot of sense. Cause even when I am alone, I am not alone. I rarely connected with myself, enjoy time with myself. Actually, I am checking my phone all the time or I am busy planning my next appointment. Always open and connected to another possible plans. Never actually connecting to myself, resting.
I've been trying to change this around, but since its 7 years in the making, you can imagine it's a tat difficult. I have written myself a letter that this month, it's the 'month of me'. My priorities are my daily routine (working on ME stuff from 10 to 1), sports (get that good endorphins), taking REAL me-time (someone hide my phone?) and visualising a STOP sign every time I experience fear of missing out and think "but others wil think/others will not reach out to me anymore".
You were talking about 'trying harder' but don't bash yourself up about it. If any, you need to love yourself more. Like when you see a friend sabotaging herself in some way. Be there for her, but be kind to her. I'm trying routine, sports, and connecting to myself. I hope it works, and I hope you will find something that works for you <3 Thank you so much for this video!
2:20 made me feel so weird- that you think it’s terrible to want to be around people and feel like you need them. i’m very introverted and would much rather be by myself than with other people. i always thought THAT was terrible. i grew up being taught that you make friends, you hang out with them, and you like it because humans are inherently a social species. so i always felt so awful and bad that i’d rather not hang out with my friends for weeks on end because i just feel way more comfortable being by myself. i wished i would be more like people like you, who actually like being around others and feel better because of it. and your next statement made me wonder, too- should we just accept who we are? and be okay with needing to be needy or isolated? or is it better to find a middle ground?? is there something wrong with us??? is there some sort of humanly accepted goal of sociability to reach????
i completely understand because i have separation anxiety and abandonment issues, i do value alone time because i can get drained from social interactions even if i’m having fun but i’m so ALONE that it’s draining now and it’s not going to be different for so many more months because no one in utah will stay in or social distance. which makes me feel shitty because i’m putting myself through this pain to not harm other people but they are being so selfish and obviously don’t care about my life... AAAAAACCCCCCCCGHGGHHHHHH
Take 10 minutes and put some alarms on your phone at the appropriate intervals to wake up, get out of bed, drink water, move about, eat fruit, bible study, make dinner, get into bed, go to sleep et cetera. this is helping me otherwise I have no routine neither do I know what the time is.
American fan here! In response to time 4:54 or around there in regards to how we speak, I can say from my own experiences that we are also intrigued by british news and the way you all speak as well. just wanted to give you that fun fact. bye.
you shouldn't feel bad about feeling like you need people!!! humans are naturally social creatures, and being this alone is not what we're used to so of course it's uncomfortable. before this all kicked off, i accidentally spent 6 months as basically a hermit, and that period of time sucked for a lot of reasons, but by the end of it i began to learn how to better be alone. the key thing (for me, at least) was finding ways to spend that alone time that a) aren't work/aren't stress-inducing, and b) aren't things that are just made to pass time (i.e., scrolling, sleeping, etc.). watching a movie is a great example of that actually because although it's a passive activity, it's engaging in a way that social media isn't. some other things that i've found that are nice for me are colouring while listening to a podcast, doing some quick yoga, messing around on an instrument with no goal in mind, cooking a simple but nice meal, and dancing around my living room. doing things that are creative/fun and that have no pressure behind them is not unproductive because they allow us to recharge in a healthy way and thus lead to better productivity later. don't be too hard on yourself.
thank you.. this year has fucked me up but at the same time has changed me. Last year I moved to the Czech Republic (from Latin America) and... well... I've been incredibly alone and lonely. I've spent months without talking to people face to face. And I couldn't travel to see my family because of covid, so I haven't seen them in more than a year. Yeah, it's weird. But I think I'm better at being alone now...
i'm pretty used to being alone. not much has changed in my routine as i don't really enjoy being around people that much in general. but i, too, get lonely, especially in this trying times of CONSTANT isolation. but i suppose it's mainly the thought that the feeling of discomfort it gives me is BAD. but i was able to understand that it's mostly me thinking it's bad rather than IT is bad. i was reminded that all feelings of discomfort is a chance to practice virtues and grow as a person. reading has helped me a ton and i would recommend it. :)
Humanity is based around connection!! it makes sense that you and all of us are losing our minds because we miss people ya know? like introverts still like company just a certain kind and without it everything's kinda..... sad. miss people a bunch man :/
did anyone else distance themselves emotionally from people? i think i particularly noticed it during the october half term, we’d been at school and it was so much nicer than it had been last year, and people were happier and kinder and i was so much less sad and suddenly it was the holiday and this overwhelming fear overtook me: you wont see them again. not for a while, you’ll go into lockdown and all this progress you’ve made is going to be lost.
thankfully i talked about it with others and am no longer as afraid but yeah, i have a much better situation than you, dodie, but i do also get it. it’s not just being alone, it’s feeling lonely even when there’s people there.
Humans are social creatures. And for my fellow introverts I'm not talking about nightclubs or parties or crowded places, just plain old talking to someone else. We thrive as humans off communication, socialization and just being together. You don't have to find alone time easy, and a lot of it can be really hard for your brain!! So to whoever is reading, this pandemic is making us spend a lot of time alone, so don't beat yourself up about using social media or being on your phone to chat to friends. Because for some, social media is all the 'social' we have left. Don't beat yourself up.
how dare you introduce me to adrianne lenker at a time like this Also I am mentally sending you love and that makes me feel better than I would if I wasn’t so thank you.
My depersonalization and derealization has gotten so so bad during these lockdowns, I feel like I haven't been present for forever, I need good adrenaline that's not panic, I need to go on a rollercoaster or go to a concert and go out at night just to jump around to music, and it's all I can think of that would help me
Do you really want to learn how to be ok internally, no matter what's going on around you? You can learn how to master your consciousness (including what and how and how much you think, along with conscious choice about how you act and react to everything that you experience) and control the course of your internal and external life, but most people don't really want to do anything about it. They just want to complain about how bad things are. You are so beautiful and sensitive and creative; I hate seeing you torture yourself.
You might try a 10-day Vipassana meditation course to learn how to be ok with being alone. You won’t actually be alone during the course, but the participants observe Noble Silence and don’t interact with each other. The point is, you will learn everything you need to know about meditating and being ok with yourself. ❤️
i think there's a weird pressure that we're meant to be totally comfortable on our own, but it's definitely not normal to be alone as much as people are right now ! it's totally okay to feel weird and sad and like ur 'failing' at being on ur own or something because one of the most fundamentally human things is to need and want to be around other people. i don't think anybody wants to feel lonely.
There's a mod u can download on the sims called a slice of life where ur sims get significantly more human problems like periods, social issues etc but yh one of the makeup options that comes with this mod dodie dots and also yh me playing sims is how I deal with depersonalisation LOL
I used to play the Sims as a kid, and I understood that people needed social interaction in life. When my Sims used to die from isolation when I was grinding skills, I used to think it was an overreaction. Having lived the past year isolating as much as possible, I now unfortunately understand that I was wrong on a crazy level. I'm so sick of this existence, as soon as this is over I'm going to overdose on family and friends
I think I'm a better person for spending a lot of time alone. I have a better sense of myself. I find it easier to be around others. When with others, I now value and spend more time in the moment; vs before, where I spent more time figuring out how I fit into the space of the moment(s).
We as people are natually social - it's how we survive, by making connections and spending time with people we trust. It's biological. So it's ok to not be great at being alone - that being said, but it's important to address the pain. But it takes time and self love, and we can't constantly be putting ourselves in a painful situation, so it's ok to avoid the pain a bit too. All of it in moderation, I guess. Thanks for making this, you're wonderful, thank you for physically distancing from others too ♡♡
no listen of course it’s hard being alone, especially now. We’ve all been alone for almost a year. It goes completely against human nature to never socialise and be so isolated. It’s particularly hard to be alone with yourself now because we don’t know how long it will last for. We don’t know when this weird purgatory world will end. But it reiterates my point- why are we beating ourselves up for not liking being alone, not being productive enough because we scrolled on our phones or watched a film or lazed about - we are confined to our homes. We are surviving and we have to do the things that make us the happiest because literally now more than ever life can be taken in seconds with no warning. It reminds me of when I was a child and if I had a friend stay for a sleepover, we’d get sucked into something we were playing and spend the entire day doing that and never had time for the list of things we’d planned. I’d be sick with guilt afterwards but my mom would stop me and say, no, did you have fun? And of course I did. So no, it wasn’t a waste of time. I am my own worst critic so I know all too well how it feels to essentially deem yourself worthless because you didn’t tick off everything on your mental list. My mental health has been absolutely awful throughout this year as my number one fear is being trapped, and trapped is what I am. So while I have been trapped I’ve been watching more tv, watching more films, lazing about a bit more, scrolling on my phone, and I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for that. I shouldn’t have to justify why I cannot be with my mentally ill mind 24/7. I love myself most of the time. I have future goals and hopes and plans. I have hobbies and a couple good friends and I’m not a one trick player. I’ve been through immense pain and I’m always gonna have that in my past. And I’m a massive introvert who enjoys alone time and spending time with myself, but not all the time. And that’s not a bad thing. I’m not a bad person for that. I’m a human being. And I’m tired of people deciding what does and what doesn’t make you good or bad or toxic or cancelled or iconic or all these overused words. Dodie, for gods sake just let yourself exist. Everybody has something that knocks them so they keep it away, and that’s not a bad thing. It ‘s just human. And being human isn’t bad.
I don’t think I’ve ever related to a video so much.
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E Forrest2020-11-23 01:15:06 (edited 2020-11-23 01:16:28 )
We are literally not designed to be alone as a species. Even the introverts among us are designed to be part of a tribe. We are less than 100 years away from the societal norm for centuries/millennia of multi-generational homes. Western life has completely upended within the lifetime of one generation.
Im not quite sure this is great advice, but I guess it helps me so... I’ll sit in front of my mirror and just look at myself until it’s like I’m not me anymore. Then I start telling my mirror self like “screw you I don’t care what you think I’m going to do better than you”. It really stems back to the idea that you’re the one and only person you’re competing with. Then, if I see myself in the mirror looking sad, or sleep deprived, or sick, or whatever, I just... try to do better. I dunno I kinda suck at advice 😭😅
Well you just described basically what my last week has been... Listening to '40s music, watching movies I've been meaning to watch, watching the Queen's Gambit...
I think at this point I'm getting bored of my thoughts. I spend a lot of time with them as it is, and I've kinda stopped creating new ones, so... Yeah, just boring now.
I keep having to come up with new ways to entertain myself. But I do think this will have been hugely character building once we're out on the other side of it.
i truly don't think anyone can be alone for super long like that, something my mom said really hit home the other day...
We are "inter-dependant".. what she meant by this is that everything in the whole world depends on something else - the plants depend on sun and water and stuff yknow idk gimme some more examples if you want :) but basically like being w folks and asking for help is okay my friend!
just a reminder if you forgot today, You are valid and worthy of love and you deserve the best (yes even if that little mean head voice didn't agree < 3)
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T B2020-12-01 12:01:24 (edited 2020-12-01 12:03:22 )
humans are meant to live in communities. You shouldn’t confuse that need with codependency. it’s only when we get into toxic friendships and relationships that these communities can hurt us. Other than that community is one of the most beautiful things a human can be a part of. Don’t worry this soon will pass:) use this time to learn what you need and then when you can have it again, grab it, enjoy it and love it. Don’t be frightened of it’s hold over you. love to you my one sided friend.
YES I need to watch more movies and shit bc at least I’d have fun doing nothing. But yeah I have all the time in the world to get my life together anddddd I can’t
I have always spent a lot of time alone. When I went to high school it was the whole afternoon, with entire vacations sitting at home while my parents were at work. Now, I've spent an entire year with company only at night and during weekends. It sucks. A lot. It makes you unproductive and it screws up your sleep.
Could you maybe get a cat? I know that’s always something you’ve wanted...maybe now Is the time to really consider it. I know for a lot of people having something else to care for forces you to stay alive.
But also...I lived alone in college and it was so isolating. I am an introvert but even people have a breaking point at being alone. You’re allowed to need people Dodie.
It sucks, but I tell myself the same reason you do I'm in finals period now so that helps, because I tend to lock myself up in my room trying to study I realised ytd that I forgot how one of my flatmate looks like... I can't fully recall her face... We haven't talked for abt 2 months now bc of a fight (or some) and it's startling how quick people leave your life?
I also spend a lot of time alone but not alone. I've always been rather bad at making/keeping friends for a variety of reasons, and so I spent a lot of time alone as a kid. Not always physically alone, but almost always feeling alone. Anyway, I think because I got used to spending a lot of time alone, I also learned how to distract myself from that, thus my love for the internet. Sometimes I feel awful for choosing to distract myself much of the time, but no distractions (positive or otherwise) tend to just make me feel terrible. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, while living your whole life distracted is probably not good, I think it's okay to sometimes decide that a distraction that allows you to feel okay for a while is better than feeling stuck all the time without one. Also this video was comforting, so ty very much dodie <3
I really don't think there's anything wrong with needing people, everyone needs people and it is silly in my opinion to deny that and to think that anyone should be able to do everything themselves
I like being by myself.... Meaning not around humans. I need animals. The absolutely worse time mentally was when I lived alone and had no animals. I need a kitty or pupper to stay safe and sane
I have enjoyed quarantine to the point where I don’t actually think I actually need people much at all (which has its own issues!) Admittedly, I am living with my bf, so not 100% the same. But I have seen one and only one friend twice since March and that’s been more than enough.
Unlike that vlogger though, I am not reflective and I don’t learn Jack about myself and I’m perfectly satisfied with that.
In my lifetime, I have had bouts of depression and during these times, I get so fixated on my purpose in life (or lack thereof), demanding to know the meaning of life (or lack thereof), whether I’m reaching my potential or squandering my life etc, that honestly, I’m pretty content with my periods of oblivious and unquestioning tendencies. And weird and maybe hot take, but there is no obligation to learn about yourself. There is no need to constantly progress. There is okayness in static living.
Is is good and normal and healthy to need and crave human contact 💚💚💚 love from Australia I live with someone and only didn't have a job for like 3 weeks and even that tiny tiny stint was a Struggle
Super important message this. It shouldn’t be surprising that people need other people, as people give one reason. I mean the entirety of human endeavour is defined by collaboration. But its a fact massively overlooked in modern culture this constant “self-improvement” narrative going on this last year.
Similar fashion to the story here, years ago in my mid-20s I accidentally found my self-isolated depths the British countryside, where I discovered the most stressful thing to do to a human is to isolate one. But not realising this at first I quickly deteriorated to a mess that took me years to crawl out of. Solitary confinement IS torture! Thanks to the lessons I learned then I’ve been keeping on the strait and narrow this year, but its taken real metal effort and the love of my partner. So just wanted to say into the ether don’t be so harsh on one's self, enjoy life's small joys and achievements on a daily basis, so look out for all that pointless and harmful the circular thinking. Here to being as healthy as possible in 2021 :)
I think the whole notion that "If you can't be alone with yourself, why would anyone else want to?" sounds profound but is really very wrong. First we are always our harshest critics. You know how much you dislike things about yourself but other people don't think about that detail of yourself very much at all and sometimes they actually love that thing about you. We need to be together with other people to be happy. Obviously right now that is difficult, but you can meet up and go for walks outside especially with your bubble. The hard part is taking the step to make plans with people when there's so little to do, and sticking to the plans when you're feeling bad by the time they roll around. If you (dodie or anyone else reading this) need someone to chat with or go for a walk with in London because you're alone and miss that camaraderie of friends, send me a message :)
i think being alone can be a luxury (not to say that dodies not being greatful or anything, being alone when you don’t do well being alone and don’t wanna be alone is not a feeling i enjoy as well) but when you have a dysfunctional family that you’ve been locked away with it just sometimes makes you take the long bus home
I dissociate too, and hate being alone. If I'm alone and spaced out I do not feel safe. There's patches of time in my life where I don't know what I was doing and that terrifies me. It's so much easier to be with someone and stay busy
i feel this so so hard dodie i love u sm :( not to shamless plug but i made a song during q-tine about my mental health that was super cathartic (dodie's been a big inspo!!!) if anyone's curious here it is: https://youtu.be/Vnqh8aSB0ro
I have DDNOS (Dissociative Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified) and, oddly, being a loner is my default state despite that. I withdraw to resolve my feelings with myself. However, I depend on frequent interactive experiences with the world to stay lively and to generate thoughts that I then take home to work into art. Therefore, self-isolation makes my symptoms worse. I lose entire days to the blur, operating on what feels like one brain cell sometimes. There's a difference between being alone and getting lonely, and even people who are predominantly introverts will feel the effect of this, as it's not a self-informed decision of 'well I need my own space and time right now'. That said, having ~quality alone time~ in this context is hard to achieve, too. I suppose that, as long as the plague lasts, that will be true regardless of whether we all learn to abandon our phones or not. The phone has become a potent, sedative pacifier, but it's a symptom rather than the cause, and perhaps we need the distraction and half-contact we can squeeze out of it right now.
yeah sure, i have lots of people i call my friends, but i only have 2 people that i consistently talk to and who (i hope) think of me as their close friends (one of which is my sister). but they both actually have a lot of friends- people they face time and text and keep in contact with every day and... i don't think i'll ever have that. this has become so incredibly clear to me over the course of this pandemic and it's kind of making me go insane!!! i know i'm young and i have a lot to learn and will have more opportunities to meet people and make friends and stuff, but it's really really hard to envision that when it's never been a reality for me, especially since it's only something i ever see on other people's instagrams and in books and movies :/
If I'm being honest, I feel like I'm wasting my life, but I just have no energy. I've lost passion for all forms of creativity lately. I go days without talking to people that aren't my family which, as it turns out, is very bad for my anxiety because I was doing good for the first time in years right before quarantine. But I'm so lucky to have good people in my life who try their best to understand why I'm distant at times. I hope everyone is doing okay and I'm always here if anyone needs to talk. ♥️
Anyone having a tough time, particularly in being able to switch off that little constant voice, then i find alan watts lectures to be very comforting. On a base level he has a soothing voice and an engaging way of speaking but his philosophy and the way he presents it is very intriguing and simple to understand, process and then apply to your own situation. Especially his thoughts on the mind, removing the veil of reality, death and the nature of consciousness. I find that it has helped me see clearly, and deal with these topics that generally weigh quite heavily on my depers, depression and anxiety. Take care kids
I just got married and moved cross country to a brand new city with my husband. But he also started a job where he works 14+ hours a day 6 days a week. Last night he came home at 1am. I’m away from my family for the first time in my life. I’m grateful my husband is at least in the same bed with me every night, but sometimes the hours alone are so crushing all I can do is cry. The only consolation is that I know much of the world is going through it with me right now. This too shall pass, however infinite it may feel.
we know all our dark embarrassing disappointing secrets so its kinda hard to truly be with ourselves without distractions. we avoid the people that make us deal with their dark side. ppl that we are friends with are usually the ones that do well in containing their demons so they would atleast not diametrically oppose to our sense of being. its normal to be worked up by the blatant dark side in ourselves. may be this is what being enlightened means, to see/create the light that we can appreciate in ourselves. learning to be our own good friend, knowing everything that we have already known, and everything we have yet to know.
You are un-creatively very creative, like fly without wings & walk without feet & that's cool ... what is a difference shared as insights before 40-50 years ago by mystic & crazy master osho on loneliness & aloneness , you can easily find on YouTube only..... take care & keep rockin ya ....
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samuel zachariev2020-11-23 06:26:38 (edited 2020-11-23 07:09:31 )
Humans are social animals, we’re meant to live and work in groups. We don’t have claws or sharp teeth, but we have each other, and that’s why loneliness is so detrimental to our health. Feelings of loneliness aren’t superficial, they’re supposed to signal your body that something is wrong and you need to fix it - it is literally the same response as hunger. So asking millions of people to self-isolate is the hardest thing ever, because we’re not supposed to be alone, but it’s the right thing to do at the moment, so we don’t have much of a choice. It sucks.
Humans literally evolved to need other humans. We were not made to be completely alone, because hundreds of thousands of years ago a human on their own didn’t survive. So needing other humans is literally in our DNA. And now when we can’t see people irl, we cling to other things to trick ourselves into thinking we’re not alone. So scroll, scroll, scroll away.
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Matthew Edwards2020-11-23 08:54:16 (edited 2020-11-23 08:58:58 )
I'm alone quite a lot. Even when I'm with people I'm still alone sometimes. Not especially out of choice, I'm just bad at socialising. I'm fine with this for the majority of the time, but sometimes it really is just too much time alone with your thoughts. What I would suggest, when you have too much time to think, try not thinking about yourself. The thoughts I have that make me feel bad are all about me and my life in the future. For me I think about philosophy, languages, biology and nature and physics, as these are all things which interest me. Absorb your whole day into learning or thinking about a topic and time will go more quickly. Plus you won't feel like you've wasted time. I also think about what I can do for my friends, gifts for birthdays and Christmas, charities that I should/want to donate to. If you can, go out into nature. Woodland is always my favourite. It's never completely silent in there, you can hear all the life and, depending on where you are, you will see people. It can also be beautiful and a little bit of photography is nice, though I'm not very good. Sleep can be more difficult cus it's not about trying but relaxing. I have to tell myself to switch my brain off, no more thinking. I imagine myself sleeping in a hut in the woods, where it's calm and peaceful.
I'm good with entirely alone. Also good with people snuggly close. I am NOT GOOD AT ALL with this intermediate distance, where you can't go anywhere without somebody else being just out of understandable ear-reach! That part of your brain which deciphers human sounds to write-down-able words, well, mine is the same kind of sore that an allergic nose gets, being wiped and blown and dried and wet and prodded and held and... And.
So exhausted. So bloody raisin-skinned-like-a-too-long-and-too-hot-soak, and at the same time *parched*. =.=
Honestly there is nothing wrong with you. For me, first UK lockdown was the most lonely I've ever felt. I tend to have obsessive and overthinky thoughts so I relate to thinking those unhealthily thoughts much more when you're alone/don't have much to keep you busy/feel lonely and sad. It did give me time to be away from romantic situations that were making me deeply saaad and I was having much trouble letting go of (so being away from those people and not being able to see them helped). And I suppose it's good to learn ways of coping with times when we feel lonely, coz its soooo natural and will probably happen at some point again. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you for finding loneliness hard. The weird thing is that so many people feel lonely, so most people you reach out to when you are lonely will TOTALLY GET IT and be understanding and lovely <3 Thank god for tech in a way - music, podcasts etc like you say remove the silence. Anyway thank you for this video People feeling lonely, you're feelings are valid and we care about you <3
i'm 18 and still living at home (with my very large family) while i finish school, so it's very weird to think that people just... live alone. it's something that i think that i really want, but i'm unsure of how it would actually effect me. the idea of freedom, and being able to have some actual peace and quiet it very pleasant. but, given my mental state i think it would stop being cool pretty quickly. lol
as much as my family's been through, and as many problems as i still have with some of them, i've always had immediate company in some way, my whole life. thinking about adapting to 24/7 alone time is very interesting and also scary
I get what you're saying, but being alone is really an illusion. We truly are one, in that we are all expressions of the same consciousness. The consciousness that's behind my eyes is the very same consciousness that's behind your eyes. It's just expressed differently in me than in you. The theoretical knowledge of this is of limited value, but you can, in practice, experience oneness with the source of all being and experience connection with all things. There is still a difference between being in close proximity to others or not, but it's not that much of a difference. The main thing is that there is no more experience of being alone.
I think as humans we are designed FOR community and friendship! I don’t think we have to try extra hard to enjoy being alone. Yes it’s good sometimes to take a minute for yourself, self reflection blah blah... but you might just be a people person.. and that’s okay!!
why why why whyyyyy is our society so obsessed by individualism that we have convinced everyone that they are supposed to not need anybody else? yes it is important to think for yourself so that you can take responsibility for your own actions and live according to what you believe but when on in the whole of human history has it ever been desirable to not need other people? why do we talk about not being able to be alone as some kind of weakness or deficiency? we are tribal animals so of course it doesn't feel natural to suddenly be completely deserted and it's an evolutionary necessity that it makes us feel vulnerable so we remember to go look for our tribe again, and feeling shit about being alone has nothing to do with how internally weak you are, if anything it should be a nice reminder that your life has meaning because people usually are the best source of meaning once you've accepted that the universe has no inherent meaning and that you therefore may as well just celebrate the fact of being alive with other people who are also alive and try and make their experience of being alive better. I never write comments on youtube but I had to reply to this because it makes me sad to see so many people I know thinking they have failed at something just because being alone is making them suffer a lot.
its v hard, theres a book called how to break up with your phone thats helpful and teaches how to have a healthy relationship with phones. I need it again cause I've started having an unhealthy relationship with my phone again
I hate being alone bc then all the scary thoughts attack me but I am too dependent on ppl & I need to learn to be alone to get to know myself more. I’m way too influenced by others and now idk who I rlly am. And I need to deal with my scary thoughts by myself cuz I can’t keep burdening my sisters every time I feel bad :(
This is perhaps why I've been playing so much Pokemon Go lately. (P.S. I recommend it! It may not be 'hip' any more, but the little creatures are cute and it's fun to collect them). Gives me a reason to go out and get some fresh air, too
I don't think it's a bad thing to need people. Yes, you will have to learn to be okay by yourself, but I don't think you need to like it. I'm shit at being alone too, but I know if i had to be alone, I'd be fine.
I think there can be a sense that to be an "adult" or to be a "full" human you need to be alone unless you are partnered but I think that this is bullshit. This is why group houses/Co-ops/Kibbutzes etc exist. If you want to live alone and that is what is good for you do it! But if you find it doesn't make you happy don't force yourself to "try harder" I will live in community my whole life and I am excited by that. My roommates are amazing and we work as a team well.
Queen's Gambit is based off a book. As always the book is better, but the show is brilliant as well. I reccomend reading the book then watching the series.
I truly suck at being alone yet bc I get very low yet at the same time people drain my energy and I wish to be alone when I’m not. I make no sense. I guess it’s just a life long suckage of being a human.
You should probably suspend all of your social media accounts for a while and reduce the noise in your head, which prevents you from organising your life. You are all over the place. Good luck 😉
the way you feel about how Americans talk is how we feel about how you talk! ahhhhh lets trade :)
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Till Engel2021-01-23 16:55:25 (edited 2021-01-23 16:56:32 )
Lots of us are alone right now. I don't hate it yet, 'course it has only been a year yet. But once we have all been through this for 2+ years, that will break a lot of us. :/
also i can’t really relate to that need to do work, because i have the exact opposite problem. i have taken the mantra “live every day like its your last” way too literally and now use the excuse of ‘i just want to be happy’ to exclusively do things that make me happy. like watching tv/movies, listening to music and playing video games. i completely let myself down in sixth form due to this because i didn’t get any work done because i just wanted to be happy all the time instead of being scared of failing. i’ve got so used to living only on the lovely little things that i don’t know how to force myself to deal with the big things anymore ://
But dodie!! You don’t need to sit in silence and do nothing to be truly alone. You can do anything that will let yourself reflect on your thoughts and feelings and emotions!! Read, write, draw, sing, yoga, walking, listening to music. Being comfortably alone doesn’t have to feel lonely <3
we as a human species are literally not built to be without connection. that's why isolation is a form of torture! You can be introverted/have social anxiety and still crave connection with others. Each individual persons ideal form of connection is different, but ultimately we need it to survive. It's instinct! It is not weakness, or bad. It is what makes you human, it is your strength 💜😘
I guess you never have experienced real loneliness. After you have experienced real loneliness, you wouldnt cry because you need to do some social distancing. You still have your friends even if they are not with you. Try not having any friends and not speaking for a whole week because you dont have anyone to speak to.... stop crying because you have to spend some axtra time alone.
People need people to function... we are social creatures. And there is absolutely a difference between needing alone time, and our own spaces (but that's because we get exhausted from socializing), and being ALONE-- Without contact. PHYSICAL contact or proximity. If you believe in energy, introverts simply need less energy to recharge their batteries, and then feel comfortable being alone, and extroverts need more energy to recharge, before they can be alone. But most people... need that energy to recharge regardless. And there are of course people and circumstances in between. My fiancé for example (who is actually quarantined away from me as we speak since he just got a positive test last Saturday-- is someone who's energy adapts to mine and vice versa, and so we could spend all our time around each other in balance; recharging and just being when we need. Whereas some of my friends for example, I can only spend a little time around before I need to recharge... anyways... sorry I got ranty, this video just really hit me because lately I too have been feelings... utterly... alone. And I hate it. It's hard to hear that saying "you aren't alone" when you are someone who not only needs that verbal reassurance, but physical proximity, physical touch, as well. <3 But you're right dodie-- and that's something that gets me through too-- thinking about all the people I am potentially helping to save by isolating... It's a painful but important effort to showing our fellow human beings' compassion. The kind we all deserve. <3
Seriously though needing people is NOT a bad thing. We are social animals and we need each other and that’s normal and completely ok. Keep looking after yourself we love you 👏🏻
May I recommend this youtubers channel, Julia Kristina Counseling, that has been helping me get through my difficult and lonely recovery from a recent suicide attempt. On her channel she talks about how to become better at loving yourself, about working on your self-esteem, about how to become more mentally and emotionally strong and lots lots more helpful content. Have a look and see what you think! Good luck! 🙏🏼💜
im more productive with people around. Iv been working most of the pandemic so iv had people. (work in manufacturing or space during this time, so not seeing the general public)
Don’t feel bad for needing to be social. It’s literally a part of our DNA. We’re social creatures, we have been made to know that spending time with others is important to survive! This time is hard. And it’s hard for everyone, myself included. I understand how you feel. But good on you for sticking to it and being a good person. Can’t say the same for a lot of people here in the U.S. I’m not sure when the end is in sight here. But we must keep going so. Love to you from Dallas Texas.
Time to learn a hobby like knitting, crochet or painting. You have your music as a creative outlet. Now you need to see something produced by your creative hands. There is nothing like finding something that you can do for other people (besides not transmit a virus).
Who were the artists she mentioned? The British accent makes it hard to decipher lol i love you dodie im gonna make some hot apple cider because you said so
what has made me feel less alone is just enjoying BTS and The Queen's Gambit, it's just a shame i finished the tv show in 3 days... at least BTS has been with me for the past 3 years, so that's an interesting contrast lol
im so shit atm legit im alone and i dont wanna go near people because of covid. I dont have many friends because i struggle with making friends and the friends i do have i cant talk to atm it sucks
i don't use my phone anymore, i just use my computer for strictly only things for work or that make me happy, i.e. youtube, docs, twitter bc its not so addictive on a bigger screen? idk anyways it made me a bit happier but im an introvert so ig i like being alone even though i dont like myself lol
If you want some symphonic party funk in your life, go listen to LYRC Orchestra! Album release this Thursday, but 1 single is already out and it's a fkn BOP
@doddlevloggle It's all about the right dose. But I totally understand the hesitancy :D. I only mention it because I went through the experience a few days ago. I was a chronic weed smoker. I couldn't function without it. The next day after the trip, I straight up just didn't want to use weed. I'm more focussed and awake than I've ever been. My life long depression has completely lifted. Stunningly profound to say the least. :D
@doddleoddle oh yeah. MD can be quite intense. Not surprised you had a bad time. Bit hit and miss that one. The anxiety can be horrible as you found out lol
u should watch the movie beautiful boy.. it’s not a recent movie but I just watched it and can’t get it out of my head... it’s heartbreakingly beautiful and sad
It does address a dark topic and can get very intense so I guess beware of that, but I would still recc bc it handles it very well and the acting/music/visuals are so beautiful
i dont want to be mean to people who can relate but i can’t and it’s strange seeing someone talking about something i can’t relate to so much, having grown up an only child with overprotective parents and an immigrant with no other family. i’m almost thriving, spending so much time alone because i got over that bump of getting used to my own thoughts when i was younger. what i wanna say is it’s very easy when you get over the scary feeling of isolation if you ever do. you shouldn’t have to though, you’re allowed to hate being alone.
Im horrible at being alone, I get horrible panic. I wonder this as well, should I try harder to find my independence through my depression or should I just find better friends?
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Ana Meraki2021-01-22 00:44:36 (edited 2021-01-22 00:44:53 )
i've been horribly HORRIBLY lonely too because of quarantine. i want to be one of those people that are like 'i am happy that i am helping the greater good and i am glad that i am helping society and i Do Not Mind Isolating', but i really really hate this. i never realised how much of an extrovert i am until i was forced not to see Anyone At All for Months and live with my thoughts lol. bitches just aren't doing well lmao.
I miss my friends so much and I just can't see them and they're doing to graduate and I'll never get this time back and I think maybe I love her but now can't be the time
Hey..., I‘m feeling the same as you..., and it sucks terribly.... Trying to find some cheap entertainment over the internet is like betraying my own intelligence – I know it‘s all fake and that at the of the day nothing will count of this.... Still..., I‘m doing it out of lack of options.... Even going a step further to put myself in trouble..., just to still feel that I matter and I won‘t fade in silence as all the stupid entertainment. I‘m missing a person who takes time to talk to me about their profound wishes and to change their life to a better by listening and supporting.... I‘m missing it so much to show other people they are important to me and I care about them.... And maybe also to get some attention from them..... I know...., I‘m just a further scroll in this list.... But if you like..., I would love to be more than a silent comment in an endless list.... And I would love to make you more than a casual distraction and show the affection you deserve as a person....
hi i feel bad and i don't know how to feel better. i don't know how to reach out for people and i feel like I'm losing myself more and more. i don't know who i am. i don't know if I'm a person anymore, i have no interests and no thoughts. i feel like nobody knows me because I don't even know myself. i don't even know if i should try to get out of my house and meet up with people because i also feel that guilt of what if i make my parents sick. it's been 11 months since i started lockdown and i barely have seen people since then. i live with my parents and my little sister so that's good i guess but other than that I've seen my older sister and two my friends the whole year
I feel sucked in this never ending loop of empty boring days because of depression but somehow the quarantine is not so horrible as I feel less alone in this situation, i am not missing out as much as i would have usually. But loneliness still is sticky and foggy, it sucks but we can use that time to invest on art yes, watching a film isn't a waste of time, if the film is good then it's something that will stimulate creativity, just like reading a good book. social media (twitter and instagram really) is what's dreadful
Maybe ask a friend or family member to sit in a call with you while you get it over with? You have the encouragement from this stranger-on-the-internet <3 Therapy is really helpful, especially in times like these.
I truly believe „being able to be alone“ is overrated. humas are just social beings. we need other people, to bounce off emotions and thoughts. and that‘s not bad. that doesn’t mean we are lying to ourselves. ofc it‘s good when we can comfort ourselves and are not completely dependent on other people being ~there~, but that whole „you need to get to know yourself when you‘re alone“ thing, that going to the mountains for three weeks and not talk thing? overrated. sure, if ya like it, ya like it. but if you don‘t: that just makes you a human that enjoys having people around. the same way you enjoy having more than four hours of sleep - you can survive with four hours of sleep and you can survive with no people around, but it‘s terrible and it‘ll break you.
Not trying to diminish your loneliness, and feelings.. But it is weird seeing girls going a bit mad after not even a year of being "forced to be alone" - yet we have been criticising incels for being crazy. I'm not an incel, never have been, but I think this experience should at least teach us that being lonely is a dangerous thing to the human mind. Being isolated and lonely for a long time will make anyone a bit crazy. Hopefully, when most of this goes back to normal - we can still think of the ones that may never have the privilege to come out of isolation, and start treating everyone else a bit better, someone has lived like you do now - all their young adulthood life.
tldr i'm so shit at being by myself wbu
2485 likesReplies (70)
yes i suck at that too
27 likeseveryday. honestly, what is going on.
12 likesI'v suffered from depersonalisation since I was 8! But never knew the words til I've discovered your channel, things are still hard but you gave me words to express my state to my friends... So I thank you and love you 👌🙏
20 likesI’m the worst at it, I literally go insane
5 likesIf you’re bad at something, just means you might need more practice ✨
3 likesSame tbh
1 likei look at my cat. the way she curls up, hides her nose, blearily snaps up at loud noises, then cuddles back in. my brain can't comprehend much. sunsets and beaches mean nothing to my brain, but this little animal being comfortable enough to close her eyes and sleep by me is enough.
24 likesYes! Ugh
0 likess a m e
2 likesI’m terrible at it too, but I’m determined to learn how to be alone during this time. I think in the midst of all the connection that we have, it feels impossible to sit and just...be. There’s so much external stimulation that even being alone isn’t really alone, and that bothers me. I want to be able to just sit, no phone, no music, no anything but myself and try to explore the universe inside my little brain. That takes so much work though, I can’t even do it for 15 minutes without being distracted. So I think that’s gonna be my goal. 15 minutes a day, no interaction outside the ol’ noggin. One of my friends — a mentor really — says that even when you’re alone, you’re not really alone., and that you belong no matter where you are. I find that thought really grounding, and I wonder if that feeling of belonging will get stronger the more comfortable I feel being truly alone with myself.
7 likesQueen's Gambit was incredible
5 likesSame
0 likesHey I'm always alone! Now we're all alone together! It's not the same being alone and feeling alone! I've neglected my social life for 8 months and yesterday was my birthday and I spent it alone....
2 likesi'm an introvert so i actually LOVE alone time & this video was rly interesting to me bc it's hard for me to understand why ppl can't stand being alone, i think your aversion towards silence to the point where you leave the tv on as background noise is so fascinating!
6 likesyep! i'm currently isolating due to an exposure to covid-19. it's driving me crazy. i did, however, do a cover of your song "would you be so kind!" this keeps me sane lol
0 likesI'm an only child and my primary caregiver had migraines a lot when I was a kid. Being alone feels natural for me, tbh
1 likemy vice is that i enjoy being alone but then i wake up from a spacey stupor and realize i haven't done anything with myself for the past year and don't remember a single thing that has happened. its scary, yo
1 likeI know way to many people blokes mostly who I'm having 2 phone just to persuade them to get out of bed it's scary man I know that but if we're scared for the right reason it shows us we're still sane
1 likeliterally been watching u for 7 years ur totally the best and helped me deal with a lot. just wanted to say thank you and i wouldn’t be here without you.
0 likeslike acc i’m such a nerd i read ur book and i live in london so i’ve always wanted to meet u :) but yeah i’m also shit at being by myself lockdown was rough
0 likes:(
0 likesI’m fine with it but I don’t like it because sometimes you have to be.
0 likesomg same we should make a club
1 likeI’ve always despised being alone, ever since a young age. I remember that I got nervous any time I was even left in the car alone for a minute while my mom grabbed her purse from inside (in hindsight, probably an early sign of my anxiety). I learned quickly that I thrives on being around people and made that part of my life. When I did find myself alone, I read, or played with legos, or watched tv, or played videogames. Looking back on it now, I’m almost certain I did these things not only because they were fun, but because they all served the very important function of distracting me from my own thoughts. When I was 15, I came out to my parents as gay, and although they were both incredibly understanding, the incredibly nervousness that I thought had been just a side effect of telling them who I was didn’t go away. Ever. Like, I waited weeks for it to leave, but it wouldn’t. Turns out I have anxiety, and depression (and ADHD, but that’s mostly irrelevant for this post). I’ve been on medication for these for over 5 years now, and I’ve learned a lot of techniques to help me deal with them, but when things were worse, when I found myself in the depths of depression, or spending weeks after a panic attack feeling fragile and afraid, I found that it was always worst at night. I eventually realized that this wasn’t because of the dark, but because of the fact that when you’re lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, there’s nothing you can do to stop yourself from being alone with your thoughts. Eventually, I found something that helped; music. Your music, in particular, helped me in some of my darkest times. “Secret for the Mad” came out on YouTube right around when I was at my lowest, and before that I found myself switching back and forth between “Down” and “One for the Road” (I found that singing “leave me alone!” to my intrusive anxiety thoughts was incredibly healing) on repeat. So yeah, all in all, I’m not really sure where I was going with this. But I wanted to thank you for everything you do, and remind you that for a lot of people, your music helps us feel less alone, especially in times like these.
1 likeIly so much
0 likeswhat do you actually think about lettuce?
1 likeI deeply felt everything you said. Right there with you.
0 likespodcasts has been my saviour this wierd recent time
0 likeserm i’m not doing amazing, this past week i’ve been confined to the house as we thought that i had covid, (luckily i don’t) but it’s been hard. literally just earlier, i hurt myself and would not accept any help and was so angry at myself for not paying attention to what i was doing, and was pushing everyone away. and my mum told me to treat myself like i would my best friend. in the moment i didn’t listen but now thinking about it it makes sense. it’s just harder than it seems. so yeah, self love is HARD. i suck at it.. hoping that this awful time will grow us all
2 likesALSO
for christmas i’ve asked for the cool girl sweatshirt and i was asked just the other day what size i am in sweatshirts :)
have a wonderful day loves xx
I honestly wish I were your neighbor, Dodie, so that we could occasionally wave to each other from inside our respective isolations. Who knows, with this much time alone, I might even work up the energy to open the window I’d be waving through. Of course, for me, a certain degree of isolation has been a part of life for decades. PTSD is fun that way. Oh well, back to the endless scrolling that gets me through my frequent nights of insomnia. 💕
1 like"There is no dark side in the moon, really. Matter of fact, it's all dark. The only thing that makes it look light is the sun."
1 likeI take this to mean that we all go through sadness, confusion and trauma, whether we realise it or not. We're never alone, not really.
ALSO JUST TO CLARIFY i am so fine i have so many so many friends and i love them and they love me dearly
119 likesit's just current covid times meaning we're not physically together as much!
@doddlevloggle having friends does not inherently equal FEELING said friends all of the time, if that makes sense. you are completely valid as always, just because you have people who love u doesnt mean u are not allowed to feel this way <3
3 likesThank you for The Pied Pipers, YOU ARE A GIFT IN SO MANY WAYS. (I said that in animated American haha)
2 likes@ThatOneBluePerson Stop tryna make her feel bad. She's being optimistic about her situation and ur telling her "no, ur not fine, it's okay to feel that way" like dude, not cool
0 likes@Ava Marie I SECOND THIS
0 likes(also i’m and animated american lol)
@Ava Marie <33!
4 likes@ᛐᛦᛑᛆᚵᛂᚱᛆ ᚼᛁᚿᚿ ᚢᚿᚵᛁᚿᚿ happy birthday I'm sorry you weren't with anyone but I hope it was good anyway
1 likeYou're not alone ♥️
@Jessica It was! Thank you!! Neither are you :D
0 likesA tip for staying off of your phone that has really helped me is this app called flora. If you spend a chosen amount of time off of your phone it growl a lil tree! :)
0 likesme toooo but I'm reading Jeffrey Marsh's book "How to be You" and it's helping. Also they're an angel.
1 likei hope you have hugs coming soon 💕 we will get back to people, we will find a way to live like we used to, vaccines are real, they can help, we will be able to move beyond this, i know it
0 likesYes
0 likesI suck at that too girl don't worry its not just you ❤️
0 likesI finished mr robot recently I've realised I'm probably slightly to quite a bit more shit at being myself than I realised.. It's hard to find a balance between having people like you and being yourself, or at least it is for me..
1 likeThere's this girl on tiktok that like, has being okay with being alone down to a science. She's completely at peace with herself and watching her gives me some peace too. Her user is lizzy.heerdt !
3 likesthis pandemic has made me realize stuff that I don’t like either which makes me realize where I learned those habits or emotional reactions or how I take others actions and the emotion put behind them. It’s weird but it makes me want to grow
0 likesfr though. Agoraphobia plus loneliness is a hard time for all.
0 likesSame. It suchs
0 likesSame. It sucks.
1 likeone thing that resonated with me the most was a quote from my therapist that no matter how not social you feel we are social beings and at some point it may catch up to you even when you thought youre fine on your solo adventures... i'm in a similar situation so much love and energy dodie we'll get through it
1 likealso if you or anyone else find music not social or distracting enough, try some streams, there are really cool communities out there for about anyone really, sometimes simply the people in the chat make it a fun and wholesome experience and you dont feel as alone during these times.
I’ve been talking to myself in different accents. My neighbours must think I’ve gone mad.
0 likesIt takes practice to be comfortable with being alone. It sucks being alone and I am struggling with it as well. Dysthymia has hit me hard and it is weird. It helps me to play games with friends online, but that is my hobby so that's why it helps, I suppose. If I let my thoughts linger in my mind and I pay attention to them, I might go nuts, but it is a process of learning to live with yourself and your thoughts. Try different hobbies, exercise every day, eat lots of veggies and keep warm. You are saving people and you are doing your part. Thanks for being amazen!
0 likessame </3
0 likesI gained weight
0 likes33 years old and I still don't understand who I am....
1 likeyes :(
1 likeI'm great at it... perks of being an introvert I guess
0 likesBeing alone is totally counter to how we are as human beings, we need other people. We cant function as human primates without other people. Its not just you, its everyone.
0 likesHumans are social creatures. Even you do well alone generally, being such by yourself is not enjoyable to anyone. That's why solitary confinement is one of the worst punishments in any prison system.
0 likesah sameee
0 likesYou need a rescue dog. You are never alone with a dog
0 likesI want you to love yourself tho
0 likes@eileen im an introvert, too, but to me there is a difference between alone time and being alone. One is a choice. Too much of a good thing can hurt. Like being alone. But I am so happy that you are getting through. Much love! ❤
1 like@Zac Lennard same. Not seven years, though. I started following her just before lockdown, so I never have had a chance to see her live.
0 likesQuite the fucking same.
0 likes@Caving Wilson ok... I’m not lying. It was a really bad hospital... anyway I’ve seen a few comments of yours in this thread and they’re all very rude and negative. Anyone who goes around commenting stuff like that is clearly hurting, so I hope you feel better some day
0 likesHey.. erm I know it's like 3 months gone past.... But like I came across your Derealization video and I've currently been having the same kind of symptoms and also I literally just went for a eye great yesterday because I felt like somat wrong with my eye, I would like to talk to you about it, idk how or where or when, I just really need help and I feel like no one understands me or no one believes or no one cares, I'm only 21 years old but I feel like I'm 80 I feel so lonely so lost so..... Idk the words anymore... Life just doesn't seem to be real nor does time it feels like groundhog Day, doing the same things having the same emotions having the same thoughts still being scared and worried as always, I forget to eat I forget to shower to pee (TMI) idk anymore....
0 likesI used to think I was good at it, turns out I'm not.
0 likessame, but also not so much. It's odd with me, 'cause I'm always alone in my room, and I'm fine by that, but the loneliness is still there sometimes
0 likesHumans are naturally social creatures!! Needing other people to “function” is in our genes!!
1800 likesReplies (9)
Yes! Even introverts :)
68 likesI’m going mental here. I can’t function without others and the worst part is that my friends seem to be doing amazing
30 likes@Oye Mate I feel for you mate
3 likesmost humans are! lol / only asocial and anti-social people have a different opinion! lol
8 likesNot true of everyone! There are definitely people who function better being alone most of the time and having human interaction in doses, rather than being with people most of the time and having alone time in doses :)
24 likes@Emma Berger not everyone, I love being alone. Remember everyone is different.
11 likesNot necessarily true. Some people are the complete opposite and function completely fine or preferably without others. Doesn't mean they can't enjoy social things, it'sj ust a misnomer that people need it.
5 likes@Caving Wilson not my genes.. i am very anti social... much prefer being alone.
1 likethis is implying those who don't are abnormal in some way?
1 likeThe dodie dots are slowly becoming my favorite thing in the universe. I haven’t worn makeup in years and they make me want to start again xD
1839 likesReplies (11)
🥺 Yes 😳
5 likesThey aren't 'dodie' dots. People have been doing them for years. They do look nice tho
33 likesDODOTS
14 likesor DOTDIES
9 likesDODIE DOTS
8 likes@Lady Pinkymoe lol I just learned the difference between eyeliner and mascara recently, give me a break 😂
13 likesMy little sister was like the dots?? And I was like it’s a thing abd it’s wonderful
3 likesSame.
2 likesim in love with them too. i tried it on me one day ahhaha. makes me so happy ahha.
3 likesgood luck
0 likes@Lady Pinkymoe yeah my elementary school friend used to wear them in middle school all the time and people literally talked abt her bc of it like negatively but now that a celebrity is doing it it’s her brand and suddenly cool
4 likesI don't know, just... thank you for making this... much love
27 likesdodie
406 likes2017 I am depressed today: “I have to be kind to myself”
2020 being alone more than usual: “and I know, I know i have to be kind to myself.”
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i go back to that video all the time
14 likesthis made me feel some typa way 🥺🥺🥺
7 likesdodie humans are NOT MEANT to be alone! we are highly highly social animals, our brains literally do not function in isolation. you are not a bad human for struggling with isolation and loneliness. we have evolved as pack animals and our brains are wired to require social interaction. you are not broken or weird, you are a human being <3
133 likesReplies (2)
not everyone is the same, some people do prefer being alone. I love being alone, and can be alone for months without feeling lonely, remember everyones brain is slightly different. Not everyone is in the majority.
5 likesword.
1 likeIt’s funny that you mention the way Americans speak is so full of life. I’m American and I’ve always enjoyed the way British people speak because of how calm it is
617 likesReplies (4)
Being polish i love both: you, Americans sound so confident and happy, its so bubbly, but then the british sound so sofisticated and inteligent, i love it
69 likes@Oye Mate you're so sweet <33
14 likesI ship this
5 likes@Oye Mate aw I love that
0 likesdodie's ability to be so honest about her feelings and experiences and to explain it all in such a wonderful way is always such an incredible break from the crazy crap in the world, and was just that even before the pandemic.
609 likesi'm always going to be so grateful to her for being a light in the dark times i've had over the years, for being an inspiration in my own music, and for taking the time to raise awareness for DPDR (which i otherwise wouldn't have gotten diagnosed).
i don't normally leave comments like this, and i'm sure she gets loads just like it, but i've been thinking about it a lot lately.
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oml i agree i love ur comment and i agree so much!
5 likes"even my bones feel lonely"
324 likesme: ...........bonely....
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I had the exact same thought
0 likes👏👏👏👏👏
0 likesit’s like i’m unintentionally pushing away all my friends and i HATE IT
791 likesReplies (16)
tHIS
21 likesMe toooo
5 likesYES. And I’m always overthinking it. Am I a bad friend? Is it because of covid? Is it because I just got married? Am I pushing people away? Are other people checking in and putting in more effort than I am?
44 likesIkr!!!
1 likeI've been doing that my whole life and I'm not sure how to stop.
12 likes@SIGSEGV same
1 likemE
1 likeI am INTENTIONALLY pushing my friends away... I don’t even know what’s happening in my head at this point. Nothing is making sense.
17 likesAgreed
1 likei have no friends so...
5 likesYES
1 likeme too :(
1 likeI do that when im stressed or sad too :(
4 likes@Farren q Hi! U do now :)
2 likessamee:(
1 likethat's just how I felt when you health got worse and worse, but also since the corona pandemic has started... :'(
0 likes“even my bones feel lonely” “it’s so quiet” dodie you better make this into a song these would be beautiful lyrics
240 likesReplies (2)
She has it just hasn’t been released yet! It’s called lonely bones
3 likes@trinity OH MY GOODNESS thank you!!
0 likesHoly shit. Being alone is one of the worst feelings.
639 likesReplies (2)
Living like that my entire life, huh
6 likes@Alexei382 well I hope things turn around for you, but also yeah... I spent so much time feeling alone when I was young and then when I got into high school I learned that your in control of your own life and I’m not gonna say it’s like a snap of a finger and woah my life is all turned around now, but you gotta try and work hard. And you gotta do it for you, because I may not feel like it now but your an amazing person yes I am fully aware I don’t know you at all in anyway but regardless you are you, and yeah I’ve gone on my own tangent no one asked for but ... who cares. I’m alone and to all the people that are alone right now, things are gonna be okay because bad feelings fade and that’s all I’ve got to say. I wish everyone a lovely day <3
2 likesme: being alone with my thoughts
553 likesmy brain: YOU ARE NOT REAL WHO ARE YOU CRISIS CRISIS WHATS A BODY SAD SAD SAD
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Man, imagine putting all our thoughts together in one big mental mush and it's all just internal noise pollution...
17 likes@Just Me, Myself and I yeah.....
0 likesHow did this make me laugh so hard but cry at the same time
11 likesYou are real. Everything else may be open for discussion, but
7 likesYou.
Are.
Real.
i have never related more to this
0 likesIt’s weird but i was literally crying about not having anyone to talk to when i saw this video and
47 likessomething about you talking about being alone genuinely made me feel less alone.
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Same. This was really honest. Bless her for making people feel less alone in their loneliness.
0 likeswhy do we trick ourselves into thinking that giving ourselves a break is something to be guilty of??? we’re all growing humans and that growth is beautiful and individual and unique and we all need space and time and ROOM TO GROW !!! god i hate the human brain sometimes
255 likesReplies (3)
Sometimes it's because our parents conditioned us to think that 🙃
7 likesI mean, when we grow up in a world that is constantly telling us our worth is entirely based on our productivity and career, it feels like you are failing and falling behind when you stop to breathe - even if it’s just for a second. But we’re alive!! And that’s beautiful!!! It really is important to push against what we’ve been told and remember that we live in a really very big universe and we are actually so very small but that’s not a bad thing!!!! It means we have so much freedom and choice and awesome power over our own lives. Please; if you want to sit down and watch a film or sleep for one hundred hours or take a day off to learn weaving; don’t let anyone stop you. It’s just not worth it. We have our entire lives to get on with everything else and taking a break won’t change that. In fact, it’ll make the rest of the time feel a whole lot better. And I know this is long and weird but I guess what I’m trying to say is, what is the point of a life if it is not to experience the world through the things that we find fun and interesting and exciting? There isn’t anybody on this planet powerful enough to take that away from you, even though they think they can. So just fuck it and take that break you sexy bastard.
14 likesBecause of hustle culture sadly
1 like“even my bones feel lonely”
416 likesouch
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literally hit the nail on the head on how I've been feeling for a long time
8 likesI felt that :(
2 likesThis hit me so hard that I had to write music
2 likesOw the feeling of missing out ur youth during the pandemic,,,,,,, hits hard. I'm 15 and feel like everything's passing by and I'm not only missing out the fun things but also missing out on vital growing up lessons hhhnnhgwgg
154 likesReplies (9)
Same I’m a senior at 17 and I get that .
8 likesI know that feeling. I wasn’t allowed to do much when I was a teenager and I was alone quite often. Maybe that’s why I don’t „suffer“ so much under current circumstances, but social interactions stress me out.
11 likesHonestly you're only 15, I feel like I missed out on a lot when I was younger bc I was too worried about everything. Things will get better ❤️
5 likesSame
1 likeI understand this feeling but I promise in even a few years one year or two years won’t feel like a huge amount. And everyone else is going through the same stuff and you can catch up together
7 likesi'm 21 and sometimes freak out about missing out on my adult life. tbh, when i was 15 i missed out on a lot too, no global pandemic to blame. life seems short when you're that age, but it's really so long. you have plenty of time to make up for it later, and breathing through this difficult period, full of uncertainty and change, is a life lesson in itself. you'll be fine, and you're not missing out, i promise.
14 likestry missing the last years of your youth
2 likesI’ve spent my entire 20s in isolation; I hate my health problems. Definitely don’t recommend isolation.
1 likeI'm 21 and feel much the same way. We don't realize how much we're learning until it's all way past us. Look out for oportunities. Take responsability for shit you are passionate about. Life's gonna learn you, don't worry.
0 likesGOD IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS TOO literally where does time go? i just go on autopilot and go on my phone and it’s november now? like is this how i’m gonna spend time? :((
534 likesReplies (8)
This thought terrifies me
13 likessame like... i know it’s good to “take a break” and not feel guilty about it, but this (endless scrolling, autopilot for weeks) doesn’t feel like a break, it feels like im opting out of existence, and it’s terrifying
39 likes@Esme L omg this is exactly how I feel! My friend’s keep telling me to “take a break” and I keep saying “well I’m sort of ALWAYS on a break!”
14 likes@Esme L I've been trying to describe exactly this for months and couldn't find the right words. You just did it perfectly
4 likes@Esme L Yes, opting out of existence! Exactly!! And it's so hard to break out of it 😢
4 likesoof yes i relate :(
0 likesThere is no time. It's an illusion! :D
4 likesSO SAME
0 likes“At least I’m not maybe killing people”
63 likesWell said
“The way Americans talk is so full of life...”
28 likesI’m American and I was just thinking that I hear people say they love so many different accents and we must sound so awful because I don’t hear people say that about ours.
Small victory for me today to enjoy that kind statement when I’m feeling, also, alone.
I’ve never realised how important people and the presence of people around me actually is. I spend my time sinking more and more into depression while trying to drag myself out of bed for work sometimes. And nobody knows when its going to end. It’s so painful. I am really lost.
208 likesReplies (5)
i feel this, i’m here for you <3
9 likes!!!! i used to think of myself as more of an in between of extrovert and introvert but now i KNOW i’m an extrovert. i miss meeting people and learning about people and seeing people just .... be people and living their lives uhhh it hurts not to go outside and just LIVE
4 likesur definitely not alone in feeling this, i feel the same. it has been such a tough year :( sending love
5 likesHonestly go out for a coffee and strike up a conversation with the waitress! Wear a mask of course, and take your coffee to go so youre not sitting in a restaurant for a long period of time but really just go be interactive with people! We need that genuine connection with people and we can do that 6 feet apart and keep everyone safe and meeting strangers is one of the best things and as humans we desire making connections! I recently went on a roadtrip, was by myself in my car the whole drive and slept in my car, but every rest stop or even random hikers who I met on the trails, having small conversations with strangers again was so welcoming. And we can still keep everyone safe by wearing masks and keeping distance!
6 likesYou are not alone. I am feeling the same way as well. We singletons have to stick together and show each other support :)
0 likesgod as someone who hasn’t seen most of their friends in person since march, it hits different :(
142 likesReplies (2)
i’ve not seen a friend for over a year, i get you. tho at this point i’m just used to my own company and it’s okay
4 likesI haven't seen my best friend since the beginning of March.. i live with my family and since both of my parents are in the "at risk" category we don't go out and see anyone except our neighbors a few times. I never thought as a shy more introverted person that I miss people
2 likesHad a huge fight with my mum this morning. She’s super toxic and I’m not doing good. Been a fan since 2015 tho and you’re like an older sister to me, so I feel a bit better.
122 likesReplies (6)
Sorry to hear about that, honestly. I really hope things get better ❤️
11 likespraying things get better. love you
3 likesThat really sucks, I'm sorry. Virtual hugs
1 likeI'm afraid of becoming a toxic parent. I have a 6 year old. Some advice from the kids of today would be much appreciated.
1 like@Novaelline they are learning and growing into their own. this is the time for support trust and love. seek honesty. see them as your equal. youre guiding them through these early stages of life. my biggest problem with my mom is that she never dealt with her own trauma so she takes it out on me. simple communication and unconditional love and support would have helped. be open to being wrong and growing with them too
7 likesBig love to you, hope things get better soon <3
0 likesI feel like the world sells to you the fact that you need to learn to be all alone and be okay with it but it's only human to crave human connection, don't beat yourself up for not liking being alone, it's okay to hate loneliness and it doesn't mean you're broken
30 likesReplies (3)
There's a balance to be struck, though. Certain actions need solitude to be fulfilled, like meditation for example. We need to learn when to be alone and when to connect with others.
3 likes@Diane Aisha Monday yeah i get you, thing is I'm not a lonely person at all and even tho I can be by myself I don't like it, I would much rather spend time with people
1 likeso true i feel terrible not wanting to be alone because social is full of people saying learn how to be alone
1 likehearing you talk about americans makes me feel a bit less embarrassed of being one myself 😂
102 likesReplies (1)
Same!
2 likesyes even just watching a movie feels more productive than scrolling and scrolling
99 likesReplies (1)
100%
2 likesi like how she reassured everyone that she's alright; just generally not liking the whole alone thing.
16 likesI love love love being alone when I want to be, but feeling lonely is one of the strongest, most overwhelming feelings I’ve ever felt.
4 likesi just noticed how long dodie's hair is now-
271 likesReplies (1)
Yeah, it's awesome isn't it?
6 likesAfter being alone (+depersonalized) for so long, I forget something like the "outside" of my flat exist, but somehow I also tend to forget that an "inside" of me exist (e.g. the space to think or feel or process things in my mind), so I am just floating in the weird space inbetween
5 likesthis exactly describes how i’ve felt this year. i haven’t been able to put it into words but this is exactly it
18 likesThe fact that you called my accent "full of life" made me smile. I like UK accents so much cause they are so peaceful and calming and welcoming lol
10 likesMe: no Im good with being alone by myself. Dodie: without phone. Me: oh shit...
8 likesthis was exactly what I needed to hear from someone I’ve looked up to for so long.... seeing dodie struggle with the EXACT same panicked and lost thoughts I’ve struggled with the past 10 months in “quarantine” shows me I’m not alone. because I can see influencers post “you’re not alone we’re all going thru it!!” but that shit doesn’t do anything good. this did
2 likesI stopped attending school fulltime 3 years ago, and it has made me feel more alone than anything else.
26 likesMy husband was in the room when we heard “so full of life” and we repeated it simultaneously in surprise 😂. Thank you for the compliment but just know that I love listening to people in the uk for the exact same reason!
4 likeswhy do i feel like i could just sit here and listen to dodie’s voice forever, whether she’s singing or just talking🥺
14 likes“No one can be independent of other people completely, so why not give up the attempt, she thought, go running in the other direction, depend on people for everything, allow them to depend on you, why not.”
8 likes― Sally Rooney, Normal People
I know you know this already dodie, but just a gentle reminder that we love you 💛
8 likesdespite knowing you're sharing 1% of your life, I'm glad you're become a bit more comfortable sharing your thoughts in this video :'))
5 likesedit: ALSO I LOVE THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT
"Even my bones are lonely" gOD you have such a way with words. sending all my love <33
21 likeshey! you wont see this but i just wanted to say thank you so much for being a kind, talented, and amazing person. i know its corny but youre never really alone ^-^ tons of your fans are probably listening to your music right now, and thinking about you. we love you, dodie. and thank you again :D <3
2 likeshow can i feel alone when i spend every waking second laughing hysterically at my own jokes?
8 likesas a depressed introvert and someone who spent the last 4 months constantly high, I relate to this way too much (dw im getting help now)
3 likesSHE'S BAAAAAACK
8 likesthe past two weeks have felt like forever aaaaAAAAA
also the coloring in this video is... just so comforting and beautiful
ALSO also I feel you - I guess I never realized how much I actually need people to function until now, when I'm by myself all the time :/
Damn I feel this so deeply. I derealize and depersonalize a lot and I also (unofficially. Still talking to my psychiatrist about it) probably have borderline personality disorder which comes along with a lot of abandonment issues and unstable relationships. So basically on top of the loneliness and emptiness I'm watching all my relationships crumble (my worst fear) and I feel completely helpless to stop it. Quarantine fucking sucks for everyone but especially for the mentally ill. Please stay safe and wear your masks ❤
2 likesi love you dodie. thank u for using ur platform for good.
3 likessame, being alone SUCKS
27 likesbut at the same time i’m now back at school and the pressure and stress of that and the anxiety and weight that comes with it, i have now decided is so much worse than the numbness i was feeling a few months ago except me then would have done anything to be me now, no matter how bad it feels as long as it was real.... but that’s life i guess
I usually really love being alone, but this year has been a little excessive 😔
6 likesAs someone who doesn’t need social interaction to feel happy I feel for you guys! Hang in there someday things will clear up :)
1 likedodie you were right on time.
2 likesmy brother was having a fit and he was throwing and kicking things and we stressful. thank you so much for bringing a light and sharing your own struggles with us <3
What you're saying at 2:22 brought this para from Normal People straight into my head: "No one can be independent of other people completely, so why not give up the attempt, she thought, go running in the other direction, depend on people for everything, allow them to depend on you, why not." I love that book so much :)
2 likes"I have no idea how to get out of this rut...well I do...it's probably just to try harder, isn't it? *growling noises*"
3 likesHAAAA yep.
This entire video was very resonant with me. I feel the same. I've found myself frequently asking, "why do I need other people so much??" Someone advised me recently that maybe it's just innate. Not wrong or bad. Just how we're made.
Sending you love and grace! We'll get through the door of this together.
all I'm thinking: omg i hope dodie makes a song out of these thoughts and feelings cos that would be so amazing
1 likeI laughed quite hard at the "really? you never mention it!" part and I feel bad for that...
3 likesSending love, dodie! <3
lots of reasons for not looking after yourself even though it’s “easy”
27 likes- not being able to get up because depression
-not thinking about it because you’re constantly trying to distract yourself because at this point it’s a habit
- not feeling like you deserve to be looked after
-not thinking it’s necessary or you’ll do it tomorrow
-not wanting to be a bother
(i’m sure there are others but i can’t think of them right now)
Replies (1)
Some of these hittt
0 likesJust so you know, you're motivating me to make music and be creative. You're doing more than your part, you're helping us too ! :)
1 likeit's like you've read my mind. thank you for making me feel a little less alone recently <3
1 likebeing alone gets rid of the safety blanket of bouncing off of other people. it takes being alone to realise how hard it is to be alone with yourself. and yet it also takes the safety blanket of thinking you’re independent when you realise if left to your own devices you are barely even a human being
18 likesReplies (3)
oUCH yeah
1 liketruuuulyyy
4 likesthis hugely
4 likesDodie: I have depersonalization
1 likeEditing Dodie: REALLY YOU'VE NEVER MENTIONED IT! 🙃🤪
My favorite part of the video lol
so we can all agree we are obsessed with queen’s gambit.
11 likesthanks for makin this vid dodes, it’s good to know ur not alone with these feelins <33
1 likethis video reminds me of why I love church so much! It's literally a group of people who are willing and able to communicate with you and build up a community, even when the only interactions are online for the time being :)
1 likeThank you for this. It's such a comfort to have someone articulate how you feel. Thank you.
0 likesWhen I went to uni for the first time a few years ago it was the first time I ever felt truly lonely and it hit me like a truck. Ever since those first difficult 6 months, even though things are relatively fine now, I'm so scared to be lonely. Any TV show or film that touches on feelings of loneliness (e.g. queens gambit most recently) hits me so deeply and I cry so much. So I've had similar thoughts to Dodie recently about the importance of learning to be with just myself, but I'm still so afraid of the feeling of loneliness.
1 likeI love how real you are :-) you make me feel a lot less lonely in my emotions because I’m reminded that other people also feel this way ❤️ thank you for being you dodie!
0 likesThank you from the bottom of my empty soul.. I’ve been searching for someone who says anything I relate to and you’ve got me. I scroll and scroll because I want to space I want the days to fly because I can’t bare being along with my thoughts anymore, it’s so hard to get out of bed and do anything. I feel immensely guilty for not doing anything but I’m furloughed they’ve really nothing I can do. So thank you.. you’ve made me feel that tiny bit more sane and real 🥺🤍
1 like“Really? You never mention it”. Holy shit that made me laugh out loud 😂
18 likesThis got meeeeee
0 likes"Even my bones feel lonely" 😭😭
I've been watching a hell of a lot of livestreams (went back to my old favourite youtuber for some comfort) and it really helps. I don't always watch the live ones but it seems to make it a little less lonely when it is live because you know they're there, in real time.
Anyway whatever love u dods you may never read this but hope it helps someone
Gonna make myself a cup of tea because I deserve it
So so glad you’re in my life 💕 hope you’re doing well and am so proud of how far you’ve come 🥰
0 likesDAMN IT!!! why you gotta hit the feels like that?!
1 likeI mean, thank you so much, this is much needed at this very moment. Literally just got home after a session with a "therapist" )or just a doctor I guess) and my mum. I'm just 16 and I have the thoughts of using up my youth on just thinking. I don't really see it as a problem, though. As you said, "I'm surviving". But there is still something wrong.
I have not been diagnosed with anything tbh, but I strongly relate to.. you, as a person. And it's so nice to know and SEE that I am not the only one with these feelings.
You are saving lives by both staying inside, but also by sharing your live in this current moment.
(Also, off topic, I really love the Queen's Gambit as well)
Thank you, and Cheers!!
dodie i hope you're healthy and safe! i've also been very alone this year. it WILL pass <3. trust.
1 likethe snap opening brought me so much NOSTALGIA and had me thinking back to watching your videos a long time ago
13 likesyou soothe me so much! i recently got diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and depersonalization derealization disorder and started meds,
you are so wonderful and have made a huge impact in my life
thank you so much i love u
Perfectly articulated what I'm feeling. Thank you Dodie!
0 likesThis is exactly how I have been feeling. Thank you for sharing and making me feel less alone.
0 likesthank you for sharing your feelings with us, i hope people are kind. in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with "needing people to function". i'm glad you're okay <3
1 likeI love being alone. It was always where I was safest. I do need to have someone to call or reach out to. But I honestly love the quiet.
1 likeIdk why but dodie’s voice is so calm and comforting like a cup of hot tea🥰
2 likesThank you so much Dodie. This really helped me as an overwhelmed DID sufferer and artist not feel so alone
0 likesIt's quite scary when your scrolling to avoide listening to your thoughts and then your brain decides to put a video on that echoes it's thoughts. It scared me enough that not long into the video I saw what was coming, got spooked, lept out of bed, had a shower and am now making a cup of tea whilst watching the rest of the video, so cheers :)
3 likesI feel the same way, thank you for verbalizing it. You can do this, Dodie. what's meant to happen will happen
0 likesHey, I just had this recommended to me now of all days, and I just wanted to say thank you. I've been feeling almost the exact same way you are and you put it into words very well. It makes me feel a lot better to just know there are others out there going through this, too. It's important to be reminded of that. Thank you :)
0 likesawwww hi love 🥺 we’re all here for you 🥰
4 likesedit: also yes. I completely understand. I feel the need to fill every blank space with music or tv or podcasts or scrolling on insta.
oh look, it's dodie perfectly putting all my thoughts and feelings into words, yet again. this made me feel a little less alone, thank you dodie
0 likesI adore this video and just how important this is, but here's a quick pitstop to mention just how comfortable I can tell you are with your editing, it's really incredible 💜
1 likeThe writing and editing on this is so good
1 likeThank you for uploading this. Your loneliness makes me feel less alone.
0 likes3:10 love your whisper (asmr voice!!)
0 likesAlso Dodie thank you for recommending Andrianne, I just checked out some of her songs and omg she's wonderful!! (Like you are!!)
We love you dodie, i know that feeling of wanting to avoid the thoughts you have when you're alone, i do the same thing of wanting to distract myself but we have each other. Stay strong. <3
0 likesI hope everyone is being hydrated. Being alone is something pretty wild to be for so long. Ive also been alone for the pandemic, ive gotten really good at being alone and making time to talk with people. I just got finished with an experiement live streaming for 168 hours straight. And people came and people went and it was an interesting experience, like sitting in a library where friends would drop in on you. Discord has been a god send to watch things and spend time with people online. If anyone wants to chat or whatever with someone who also likes dodie and stuff drop me a message at orange#1000. I'd love to hear other peoples experiences during this who have been alone throughout
2 likesThis made me feel better
0 likesThank you dodie ❤
i would like to reiterate that everyone who needs something to do to watch the queen's gambit it made my brain okay-ish for like two whole days
1 likeI'm way older than you and it's hard too. I really feel for the younger generation. I wouldn't have coped either. This should be the finest time of your life! You need others to share, experience things with, challenge you, laugh with, bounce off... and we are human. Humans are a social species.
1 likeFor the record, I think it’s totally natural to need other people to function. We need community. Even introverts NEED to be with other people, sometimes. This time of isolation isn’t at all normal, and I kind of think it’s good that we’re recognizing our need for others. Ya know... for when all of this passes a bit haha
1 likeYouTube recommended this to me and how did it know exactly what my soul needed to watch? Thanks so much got sharing this, I am feeling so much of this so much.
0 likesThank you for this. I’ve been so lonely you make me feel normal.
0 likesI appreciate how transparent and honest you always are about your feelings! 💜It's a strange time for sure, and i think everyone is struggling
0 likesIt's real nice to hear someone talk about how they are feeling, how I'm feeling, and spinning it so that it isn't crushing. For sure going to take those recommendations.
0 likesTo dodie and everyone else: I keep reminding my students that nobody on the planet has ever been through anything like this. If you are struggling, feeling isolated, lacking motivation, anxious, afraid, depressed, stressed and/or otherwise struggling - good! That means you're human. If you weren't struggling right now, that would actually be weird. Even if you feel alone, you're not. There are millions of people in the same situation. 2020-2021 will be a loss. Just own it. The 1918 Spanish Influenza actually lasted from 1918-1920. Until we get a vaccine, our best option is physical distancing. Just known you're loved, you're missed, and there are people who can't wait to see your smiling face on the other side of this. <3
3 likesReplies (1)
<333
1 likeThanks so much for posting this, youre voicing a lot of my current situation and its nice to hear this.
0 likesI needed this, it’s so comforting knowing I’m not the only one going through this. Still sucks big time but we power throughhhhh
0 likesI´m a person very used to being alone, since I was a child. We seem to have very different experiences, and it would be kind of interesting to have a chat about it. Oh and I´m a swedish guy so that makes a difference too.
1 likeI lost nearly all my friends last year, so I've actually been grateful for the pandemic. I would've been alone anyway, but now everybody is in the same boat.
0 likesdodie realizes how important isolating is right now even if it hurts her a lot. I'm sure anyone with a brain and heart understands and respects that so very much. Thank you dodie!!!!!! <3
2 likesI always thought non-ameicans didn't like american accents omg
30 likesur doing great, dodie!!!! i was feeling the same but it's just live minute by minute. i wish u all the best, love u! 💖
0 likesAs someone who makes tea as their first form of self care, the line "I deserve a cup of tea, at least" hit my very SOUL. Thank you Dodie, we all love you so, so much.
0 likesWhen I lived alone for a year, my cats really helped me deal with my depression. Pets are nice.
0 likesbeen a while since ive watched a dodie video highkey missed you queen ❤️
2 likesi've bearly ever watch your videos, but I'm so glad I clicked on this one, I love this very personal and organic video, its really inspirational just how calm and expressive you are about your struggles, love your moommins song too (probably why this vid was in my recommended). Greatly appreciate this video : )
0 likesYou bring me so much comfort. The sound of your voice and look of your face takes away my worries and replaces them with comfort. Thank you. Love you dodie
0 likesI'm living alone at the moment and I'm just so glad that the internet exists - I swear we would not have survived this pandemic at all without it. You're doing great Dodie, and thank you so much for this encouraging message xxx
0 likesthis really, really resonated with me and ironically made me feel less “alone”. i was in contact with someone at school who has covid (i can’t do online school because of the classes i’m taking), and then someone in my house tested positive for covid. i haven’t been able to leave my house (barely my room) in over a week and i don’t know when i’ll be able to. i’m american and i’m really worried i won’t get a thanksgiving this year, which really sucks. i’ve been doing pretty much everything i have to do, but slowly and unenthusiastically. i feel so tired and depressed. maybe that’s ok though, maybe i’m just doing the best i can rn. i should probably get off my phone and clean my room.
2 likesyou make me feel less alone
0 likesand warmer
and i feel a lot of love to you
it's been years, thank you so much for keeping me stronger!
ily
yes, you're doing the right thing yay ❤ I know it's hard, I'm going through the same thing and my way to cope with it is to fill that void I feel with love and knowledge about myself. Hard but soooo valuable
0 likesGoodness, I completely understand! The pandemic on top of switching school programs, being at the cusp of graduating and moving abroad for college has really settled me into depression. Just the pressure of it all and the inability to seek comfort in friends has just been, frankly, suffocating.
1 likeTimes are so warped now, and although there’s so much to be thankful for and blessings a plenty since although you’re alone, you’re alive and well, that doesn’t negate the heavy feelings that everything else gives.
Good luck and Godspeed, Dodie, and everyone else! The times are pretty poopy, to say the least, but we’ll get through it! I believe in you!
We are here for you and we love hearing from you.💜
0 likesI just realized that you were living in Bath at the exact same time that I was. I was studying Political Science, but I tried to involve myself in the music scene as much as I was comfortable, if only to meet people and to be able to say I've been on stage in other countries.
I definitely miss the community feeling of uni life. Living in a small town and running my own business is a little more lonely in that sense. You see people, but to perform services, not to socialize. Distance has always been the biggest thing, since most of my friends aren't local.
There are many reasons I want to live alone and then with my bf, but there is something nice about a house full of people. It's tough to record in, but there's always someone to talk to if you want to.
YOU ARE SAVING LIVES BY BEING ALONE. YOUR ALBUM IS GONNA SAVE LIVES.
2 likesIt’s also important to distinguish being physically alone and feeling lonely :)
0 likesDodie the things you say resonate with me SO MUCH. Thank you for putting it to words (and music). much love
0 likesI'm also bad at being by myself right now. This made me feel a lot less alone. Thank you, dodie 😭
0 likes“Even my bones feel lonely” I FELT THAT SO HARD
0 likesI also have derealisation and you just described everything I'm feeling so now I'm sobbing under my duvet.
0 likesThank you.
Thank you so much for this video Dodie, I normally don’t like being alone with my own thoughts and having to sit in silence by myself all the time can be a really bad feeling, so this video really helped <3
0 likesyou're not only saving lives by not spreading the virus, you're also saving lives with video's like these, by letting everyone know that they're not the only one that feel lonely.
1 likei love how honest you are, thanks for this!!
0 likesthank you for the kind message at the end there. it always makes me calmer to watch your videos
0 likesThis made me want to get some tea, a mix of dodie's and lo-fi music, and cuddle up somewhere
0 likesSending lots of goodness your way, Dodie~
0 likesall i can say dodie is that you are amazing, beautiful, talented, and loved. :)
0 likesThank you from the bottom of my empty soul.. I’ve been searching for someone who says anything I relate to and you’ve got me. I scroll and scroll because I want to space I want the days to fly because I can’t bare being along with my thoughts anymore, it’s so hard to get out of bed and do anything. I feel immensely guilty for not doing anything but I’m furloughed they’ve really nothing I can do. So thank you.. you’ve made me feel that tiny bit more sane and real 🥺🤍
0 likesI’ve been going through a super similar time. I moved to the city I’ve always wanted to live in in June and I havent been able to make any friends or do anything but work because of the pandemic. I live in a tiny studio by myself with my cat and it’s lowkey awful lol.
0 likesWhen you asked yourself the question if it’s okay to always need people I literally yelled at my phone “YES!” We are humans and humans are literally pack animals that need social interdependence to survive and we literally evolved to be that way.
I thought I was being stifled by my friends and family back home and that I would finally have the time and space to focus on my art when I lived in the big city by myself. I wanted independence so bad, I wanted to take my self seriously as a grown up.
But it turns out it’s really hard to make art when the people and experiences you make art about have dissapeared. I’m finally realizing that being alone doesn’t necessarily make me more powerful, if anything I’m at a disadvantage. There is no shame in needing other people.
"If I put my phone down & face myself for a while... 'oh hello, every bad thing that's ever happend & that will happen'"
1 likeI felt that so hard, thank you
I love u dodie. the way you make melancholy and relatable things feel comforting and warm to feel is astounding to me. thank you :')
0 likesThe pauses and change of pitch in her voice really do be taking me back to “arms unfolding”
7 likesHave you ever thought about making a podcast? I could listen to your voice for literal hours.
0 likesStay safe 💜
i’ve been feeling lonely too dodie, but it’s nice to feel that we all in this together :)
0 likesI'm so bad at being alone. I wish I had a dodie in my life. Love you girl
0 likeshi dodie i’m early and i just wanted to say that ily and seeing you on instagram, yt and your music has helped me over the years specially during quarantine 💖
2 likesAs someone else living alone this verbalised a lot of feelings I cant
0 likesyour videos are so comforting and help me get through so much. thank you <3
0 likesAhhhh! I resonate with this to much!!! ❤ I love you Dodie!!!!!!
0 likesKnowing that other people are also struggling is so helpful. I don't normally acknowledge that I'm not okay, and it's nice to hear someone else being so matter of fact about loneliness ❤️
1 likeI’m alone for the week of Thanksgiving and it’s felt even more lonely — nice to watch this video and feel less bad about being bad at being alone (oof)
0 likesBless you. Yeah, being single and alone in lockdown is a disconcerting living purgatory.
0 likesdodie this is exactly how i feel too,, ur not alone. thank u for making this video and helping me realise that
0 likesJust had quite a teary phone call to my mum about this very issue, so thanks Dodie. You always seem to have a video for the precise thing I’m going through 😂
0 likesi was just listening to cool girl on a loop and sobbing when i saw dodie uploaded this. it really helped calm me down :'-)
1 likeGo for a run, or a walk, listen to some podcasts, play some video games, read a book, do something creative, stick the radio on (that one really helps with the quietness lol). Being alone can be alright, just as long as you keep doing!
1 likeI thought I was good at being alone but the past few months have taught me differently... it’s draining. It’s a different kind of lonely right now.
1 likeI feel this so much!
0 likesWhile I am an introvert that loves my alone time, I despise solitude to the point that it is my greatest fear in life. All my life I have always had background noise because I hate the sound of silence. In my home there is always music, podcasts, or a random channel on my tv playing to make me feel less alone. I truly miss being alone in a coffee shop with others quietly reading or friends hanging out because even though I was alone, it wasn’t complete solitude
Thank you for reminding me that we all deserve tea. I went out and made myself tea, got myself a snack and I'm thinking of watching a movie or something too. I liked hearing what you were working on so I figured I'd share some of what I've worked on during lockdown because I guess it might feel good to do that
0 likes- Finishing a big stack of books I wanted to read and just never got round to (went from about 36 to 20 and still going)
- Finding parts to build a better PC
- Cleaned up and 'fixed' my brother's old gameboy (which tbh wasn't really broken just kinda... gross)
- Made a Letterboxd account to talk about movies because I used to wanna do that a lot and I've kinda lost the drive for it in recent years
But ye, even if I hadn't done any of that, just getting through life right now is more than enough and y'know I hope anybody reading this knows that. Be proud of yourself for whatever you're achieving right now, being here is more than enough. Productivity isn't the most important thing right now, just being here still is enough. And if you did read this, go make yourself a cup of tea because you deserve it
I’m feeling so similar right now & I hate it. I also have depersonalization and damn not leaving the house and just having social media is not helping. I KNOW I should be doing more and doing what makes me feel good and fulfilled but I can’t get myself to. It is this overwhelming, heavy feeling of just being alone
1 likeI am very introverted, but even I feel pretty bad about being alone this much.
5 likesI really appreciate this video. Staying home all of the time has really been getting to me lately as well and I know I haven't been looking after myself as well as I should, even though I live with other people. I just really miss my friends. But I am also fine, really - I'm a lot luckier than a lot of other people are. We all just have to remember to be kind to ourselves right now. <3
0 likesDodie - I hope this helps. I’ve discovered your channel recently through Evans videos and I didn’t know you were a singer at first, I just liked your personality a lot. I’ve discovered your music and it has both calmed me down and cheered me up so much when I too have felt lonely or anxious during this lockdown. So thank you, thank you SO MUCH ❤️
0 likesI've found it one of the weird gifts of this year.
1 likeI was meant to do my A-Level exams in May, but those got cancelled. A whole year of my life that I knew was going to be dedicated to me cramming my brain with info became a wide empty gap in my life schedule. Suddenly I had space to think about myself, and at first, it was so easy to embrace the spare time and watch so many films and series, read so many books, absorb all the things I hadn't thought I would have time to with the rush leading up to exams.
But then that eagerness trailed off, and like you, I was alone with my thoughts. Who really was I, when I was suspended in a time that wasn't meant to be like this? Who was I when I wasn't a revision machine? Who was I when my friends didn't see my face for months? Who actually was I when all the external things that I would usually use to define me (gap-year-Kate, best-friends-with-Matt-and-Evie-Kate, English-Literature-Kate) fell away, and I was just myself, in my bedroom?
Won't lie, it was very much horrible at times, and I felt like a shell of a person. How could I be anyone when I wasn't leaving any sort of mark on people or places or things? But then I found myself turning to the things I enjoyed unabashedly, and using them to fill my days. Writing so much more than I think I ever have in my life. Thinking so much about my own trauma, and reflecting on seriously heavy things in therapy. Thinking honestly about my sexuality and the perspective that my demisexuality gives me on the world.
I sat with myself for about 8 months this year, and I think I've loved it. I have learned so much about myself - that I need exactly 9 and a half hours sleep a night, that I get no cramps on the first day of my period and that day two brings spots, that I really do need to be creative as much as I thought I did - and I wouldn't have been allowed the time to be with myself if this pandemic hadn't happened. I'm not going to toxically try to say this has been a good thing, of course, but I've found a pretty solid silver lining to it. A steel lining. The normal world doesn't allow for this kind of deep self-reflection, and only by putting what was meant to be the busiest year of my life on an indefinite pause have I been able to actually take a good look at myself at 18 years old and say "alright then. who tf are we and what is it we want?"
I definitely don't have all the answers. I'm 18 lol. But I have found that silence and comfort in just being with myself, with a therapist to help me through the difficult parts, so incredibly helpful and healing. I think I've become friends with myself this year, and I wanted to share my experience just to say 1) that anyone else who has had a similar experience to me isn't alone, and 2) that there is a possibility for this aloneness to become a good thing. It has been for me.
This is the longest comment I think I've ever left lol, but I hope it has been interesting reading for anyone else who has been thinking about how their identity has been affected by the constant aloneness of the pandemic. I hope that everyone who reads this is able to make friends with themselves in some way, and I wish everyone the best healing during and after this year <3
I really enjoy being alone tbh, I’ve enjoyed lockdown so much cause I haven’t had to worry about talking to other people (I have social anxiety which is getting worse 👏) so it’s really fascinating to get another opinion on being alone in such an honest way.
0 likesLove all you going through derealization ❤️
0 likesI will always, ALWAYS have the utmost respect for you, Dodie. Your ability to put to words how "it feels to be..." amazes me. I'm forever grateful.
0 likesI feel like I really needed this video. I relate to it way too much. And that someone like you who has accomplished so much feels the same way as I do, is very comforting. Thank you. You’re so cool, be proud 🥺
0 likesThank you for sharing. Sometimes I sit in my room and feel like I'm suffocating, like I can't possibly stare any more holes into the ceiling. Even if I still go to school, my weekends and free time are plastered with alone time. Like you said, it feels like I'm wasting away my youth, sometimes it even feels like it's been taken from me. I'm 18, I'm almost done with school, I should be out there, dancing through the night until my feet fall off, kissing strangers and going on adventures with my friends. Instead, I look at the picture on my wall, stare holes into the ceiling, hoping and hoping that it will get better, because it has to get better and that it will get better quickly, cause it's starting to get cold and I really need to patch those holes before it starts to rain into my room.
0 likesOk I got a bit carried away there, well...
I dont know exactly what youre going through, but I relate to a damn lot of the sentiments in this video. we'll pull through, whether it feels like it or not, there is light out there ✨
0 likesI couldnt make it through this whole video. Dodie. I adore you and everything you've been so kind to share with us. It blows me away everytime I listen to you. You have made me happy in times where I was lonely and sad. And if there's anything we can do for you... letters.... comments.... videos.... anything. Just let us know boss.
0 likesthis is so relatable, thank you for being so honest. I love you
0 likesi saw that i’m on my phone for around 10 hours and it made me panic cuz it feels like my life is wasting away and it’s so lonely.
11 likes‘Even my bones are lonely’- should be in your next song, it’s so beautifully, heart-achingly true❤️❤️
0 likesAw, love this video! I like just the hearing the thoughts you're having and also that it's a response video like "oldschool youtube." :) yes love
0 likesThis really came at the right time I’ve been feeling like this for a while but today especially, kinda ironic that a video about being alone has made me realise I’m anything but
0 likesI've moved 3 times around town since the pandemic started. This was the year that i got real adult stress instead of just stress from the stuff going on inside my head. It was inbelievable, IS unbelievable because im still in the process of the third one. This has been a weird year. I love your music. It gets me through the day 💙
0 likesThank you to share it, to open up, it is useful, to me, to many people, to yourself.
0 likesIt touches me strongly. Thanks again. Can't wait to hear your voice singing again :)
Thank god, I was freaking out for a bit thinking we weren’t going to get any more videos on this channel after the album announcement
1 likeAs someone who's also 'barely there' half the time, hardcore depersonalization issues - the harder I fought it the worse it got. 'Trying harder' isn't my answer, my answer was finding someone who understood me and hobbies that I found personally fulfilling, but it's not a 'cure'. I'm still me at the end of the day, and when I started working on accepting that I am who I am a bit more it improved. Everyone should work on bettering themselves, but a lot of people take that too far and hold everyone to the same standard. What your standard is might be different from someone else, not every goalpost works for every person. I just wanted to find a way to be less distressed about how I am, and I've been working on that. Best of luck to you.
1 likeI am thankfully spending this period of time with my family and I have to say it is a blessing. In order to see my friends I also dedicate some time to new hobbies such as long distance role playing and that alleviates my "friend-sickness". Stay positive Dodie, surviving is good enough right now.
0 likessending virtual love and support to everyone 💕 I feel the same and also extremely scared that me or my cousins can pass the virus to my grandparents 😔 but i know i’m not alone and not the only one feeling this way ✨
0 likesLet's be real she's saving lives not just by staying at home but also thanks to her music
1 like0:18 "I'm not through the door of learning whatever this will teach me" ...instant like!
0 likesAlso, I've watched Dodie for literal years now and this has to be one of my favorite and most relatable videos of hers! I'm quarantining alone here in the States and my closest friends all live with their families. Although they try to support me, they don't and won't fully know the extent of what it feels to be truly alone (and all the sadness that comes with it). And not because you want to. But because you have to. For me, just as Dodie said perfectly, at the end of the day it's about being kind to myself. Not gaslighting myself about how "productive" I am being. And treating my mind AND body kindly even in isolation.
I have been listening to doris day and sleeping listening to podcasts cause...company glad u can share this im sure lots are feeling this way hopefully now they now there not alone
1 likeYou're so awesome dodie. Talking about these things is hard and you're great for doing so anyway. Know that you're not alone in feeling alone. We're in this together;) Wishing you many warm and happy days and nights! X
0 likesdodie, i have a question. when you think of old friends/lovers and memories with them, does it make your heart ache too?
0 likesi feel this so hard. last lockdown i was in my uni house with all of my friends which made it so much easier, this lockdown i am by myself (i live at my nans but she works at a school full time and i am unemployed). the way you described the difference of having some alone time and actually being alone resonated with me so hard! i just want to be able to go to my room knowing my friends are downstairs rather than empty silence. the presence of people is so important. its hard af but we've got it dodie!!!
0 likesI really needed this right now. I miss my family so much but I know I can’t see them this holiday season and it’s been on of the most difficult decisions to not see them. It’s really hard. Thank you for this
0 likesI’m living alone at uni and I agree with all of this, I’ve been on the phone to people all day long and it is so quiet and silent when we end that call, I’ve never noticed how quiet it is before when I could go out and do things and see people
0 likesi know this feeling exactly, so ill put on your videos while i make myself tea and we keep eachother company :-))
0 likesYes. I am a music video director, and all of the bands that I work with can't afford / aren't very motivated to make new music right now. But mostly, I've realized that my fast-pace lifestyle interacting with lots of different people is what I miss the most. I literally get a weird high whenever I'm in a room with more than 3 people lmao. Thank you for being a voice for all of us. This will end, hopefully SOON. x
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Number 1: I love your music videos Diego ❤️ Number 2: this will all go away soon like you said, keep at it luv x
1 likeI miss gigs most than anything and I miss your music videos 😢
0 likesHey man I actually took the time to look up your music videos and they're great. Please don't give up even tho times are hard. You got something especial. Cheers
0 likes@Mckenna Parker Thank you so much for your kind words x
0 likes@Rachel Goss I MISS CONCERTS MORE THAN LIFE
0 likes@Jerry Sanders This genuinely means a lot, thank you for taking the time to check my work
0 likesI have deperaonalisation (diagnosed) and I really relate with this!! I cannot be alone without zoning out, it meant a lot to hear this and realise I'm not alone.
0 likesThank you for this video, it's really helpful to just know, that I'm not the only one who feels bad and lonely. Even though I'm a introvert and I like to be alone, I've understood that to feel good and function normally I need contact with people. I miss talking with strangers and small talks with my colleagues, which I used to hate bc of my introversion... I'm also just not able to be productive, yes, I have school and extra music lessons and a lot of duties and homework... but it's in my computer, it's not real ! I feel like that all the time. Why to study ? I don't care, because right now it doesn't seem real to me. It's so hard.
0 likes"even my bones feel lonely" really hit me
1 likeYou are amazing. Watching your videos, listening to your music is making my life really better. I want you to know how important you and your work are for us all in the world. And I want to send all the love that exists in the world.
0 likesI feel you dodie. You are amazing btw!
0 likesThankyou for the honesty. It's so comforting to hear someone say that it's a common thing to feel alone even with social media and that it's okay to admit you're not to happy with it. I'm struggling with that too at the minute so it's nice to get that reassurance that its okay to not always feel great. Thankyou so much <3 xx
0 likesGood on you for watching a film and setting aside your phone . Hugs. I did the same tonight. Lots of love x
0 likesI was just reminded why I love her voice so much
4 likesDodes, I absolutely felt this one.
0 likesLiterally sick of myself.
I mean I'm great, but I'm not great when there's no one around for me to be great for.
Just need that energy of human company.
Day 2 of Quarantine here. Haven't been hit by the loneliness yet, but I know it will happen and this video is a really good insight into things <3
0 likesThank you dodie
Dodies humor is some of my favorite brand of humor 😅💙
0 likesI live in a different state than my friends and family, I had a baby nov 2019 and then covid hit. I’m a stay at home mom and i can relate to this video so much. I literally started breaking down and praying it was bad
0 likesI don't freaking know how to describe how calm listening to your videos makes me
0 likesive suffered trauma myself and after having gone through that and come back to watch your videos, and hearing you also suffered trauma in childhood and in relationships, i realised your whole image of being more childlike is something i have as well. i sink back into my 'childlike-self' because it gives me an illusion that i am gaining my childhood back in some way, since it was taken from me from monsters who like to inflict horrible things on other people. all of the way you speak and actions you make are childlike but not in a bad way... just in a way that seems as if you don't realise you are always trying to get your childhood innocence back... i do that too. i feel understood in this way when i watch your videos.
1 likei could be completely wrong about this btw. i promise i am not being one of those people that is diagnosing or saying This Is Who You Are! but it is something i have noticed that i resonate with completely and know is because of trauma i have gone through, and is possibly the same for you. have you noticed this? and also, am i right? does anyone else know what i mean?
sending so much love. you have no idea how much you have helped me in my life. especially during school.
Your videos really make me smile 😊 not only are you saving lives by staying inside but you’re helping people just by making wonderful music and sharing your experiences ❤️
0 likesdodie you’re adorable and i love your vibes and your words:)
0 likesI’ve been wearing over-ear wireless headphones all day watching YouTube and podcasts all the time until my partner comes home. and having my dog has been keeping me sane these past 9 months (??? So long wow). I tell you this because it helps me a lot and maybe that’ll help you too? Be safe dodie be kind to yourself
0 likesThank you for this Dodie. When I moved back to uni in September I soon started to feel very lonely. All my flatmates were nice but not many of them socialised that much and I couldn’t go see my other uni friends once restrictions got tighter. Even though physically I wasn’t alone in my flat, I felt very alone mentally. I’ve moved back home now so I’m doing much better but loneliness is one of the worst feelings ever. I hope anyone struggling is able to get the support they need xx
0 likesI could easily feel the same type of loneliness if I didn't have my pets with me the whole time
0 likes"a difference of needing alone time and the soul sucking difference of this feeling" hit me to my core. Ugh. This season in extremely hard even though I generally in the past have craved/needed that alone time. Thank you for sharing yourself, for sharing these real thoughts. I relate deeply and I appreciate you so much 💖
0 likesappreciate this video and the thoughts amanda brought up about friendship. :]
0 likesThank you for giving me something to look forward to with your album! <3
0 likesThank you for making this video. I think we believe that people who have reached a certain level of success have it all figured out. It's a nice reminder to remember we're all going through the same day-to-day feelings.
0 likesThanks dodie!
yesss, i love amanda and her vid, hope more people will watch her vids !
1 likethis is so relatable though, i’ve been feeling this for months but especially the past week and it’s so nice to know that we feel lonely but all of us feel lonely and to see you struggle with it but also be hopeful? and know that you can take care of yourself and stuff? that’s lit
0 likesas for getting out of that rut— what helps me is daily (or just as often as you can like start with once or twice a week or smth) asking someone if they can hang out or even just like talk on the phone or just sit outside in your seperate fields of grass and hang out so you’re at least talking to someone and you’re not alone. i’ve had so many good conversations that way and have felt a lot better the rest of the day
There’s a new book called “Alonement” coming out next year I think lots of people would find helpful 🧡
0 likesit's a well known fact solitary confinement is not good for the human psyche. we need input, we need other people. As you say, you need to be kind to yourself.
2 likesThese are strange times. it's not fun. I suppose all we can do is hope it gets better soon.
love ya Dodie ducky, keep plodding on. you can make it out the other side.
I've deleted social media two weeks ago and it's been really good since now I'm more porductive and I don't focus on other people's 'perfect' lives while scrolling. I did keep Youtube though since I learn a lot from it and watch music, enjoy art or videos in general and I find it more fulfilling than just scrolling through tiktok or instagram.
3 likesI preordered your new record and I'm sO EXCITED
2 likesDodie talking abt her dpdr makes me feel so less alone and comforted
0 likesThank you for posting Dodie. It means a lot at the moment to hear someone being honest with their struggles with isolation. Sometimes we need reminding that it's OK to take a break (and not feel guilty about being "unproductive"). Your mental health is far more important than the need to get things done, but, yeah, this year has taken a swipe at all of us. Feeling the isolation. I'm fortunate to be able to "bubble up" with family close by but working straight through lockdown(s) has really knocked me for six. Haven't been able to see friends and spend time processing the situation. Finally got to the point where I needed outside professional help with my mental wellbeing.
0 likesI needed this wholesomeness 💌
1 like"even my bones feel lonely" reminds me of a thing my boyfriend texted me when we were apart during the first lockdown, he said "I got the bonely lonelies" and that seems about right
0 likesI'm feeling exactly like this right now... I always liked being alone and felt so much more productive by myself... but idk...its soooo different now
0 likesOne thing I heard (From John Green, I think) was that if you are spending time making yourself happy, that time isn't wasted, that isn't time being unproductive; You are producing happiness.
1 likeI somehow really needed to hear this today, thank you.. off to make myself tea <3
0 likesI was just thinking about how lonely I feel, and what I could possibly do about it. I'm the most introverted introvert in history, and even I, the original hermit crab™ feel isolated.
0 likesThank you for this video! It was kinda like talking to a friend about it lol. Hope you're well 🧡
Dodie the little added voices in your videos are so funny to me I love them so much!!!
0 likesThanks for the Pied Pipers recommendation! Lately I'm listening to a lot of jazz cause it calms me a lot. Also as you said, great for the background music. Couldn't visit office since March and though I'm living with my partner and seing friends from time to time I'm going effin' crazy.
0 likesAt 2:46 it sounds like you are reading a poem :')
0 likesThe soul sucking emptiness of
this feeling,
this silence.
Even
my bones feel lonely.
It is so weird to just be with yourself,
and only yourself.
It's so quiet.
It's
so
quiet.
I'm loving the new color grading for Dodie's videos. Very neutral tones.
0 likesjust subscribed to Amanda. Here’s a small doable challenge: When you watch a youtube video (one you actually want to watch) put it on full screen and take your hand off the mouse or, if you’re on your phone, put the phone somewhere so you’re not holding it and not hovering your thumb over the screen constantly. And just see how that already feels different to what you’re probably doing right now.
1 likeI'm so sorry that you feel this bad/alone, I understand you, and I want to tell you that you're not heart-ly alone (dk if that means something). Please, keep being you, you're adorable and precious, have a beautiful day! :)
0 likesthe editing in this was beautiful and wonderful.
0 likesThe love for cool girl shall NEVER STOP ~~~~~~ (sends good vibes)💕💕💕💕💕
0 likesIt's so weird because I totally get what you mean but for me being completely alone is literally my favourite thing ever lol
1 likeOh definitely feel you on this. Like, I've been depressed for a while (I'm working on it and I'm getting there), but since moving back home with my parents it's not /nearly/ as bad as living in halls with people I didn't know well. I don't know how tf I would have coped if I had to do LOCKDOWN away from my family unit tbh. And I'm not even an extrovert like you are! <3
0 likesthe queen’s gambit is the BEST YES DODIE
37 likes"Even my bones feel lonely". Now THAT statement hit home.
0 likesAs with everything in life, there needs to be a balance to be happy. Being with people all the time can suck and obviously being alone all the time really sucks. This year a lot of us have been alone too much and it’s normal to feel shit about it.
0 likesJust know that this isn’t forever, we will find that balance again. Gotta keep believing in that 💫
Me after losing my home, job, best friends and love :( due to pandemic borders closure (I lived my dream life in New Zealand), watching this video whilst having this emptiness in me for the last 6 months, beeing happy, that someone else finally perfectly describes it for me ♥
0 likesI’m an international student in England and well... I haven’t seen my family in a year and spent my birthday alone... it sucks but I know everyone’s going through it rn. hope everyone’s staying safe:) luv ya Dodie
0 likesThere is such a difference between having some alone time and being forced to be alone, not having someone to physically reach out it draining
0 likesI find it so calming to just listen to her.
0 likesDODIE! This video hit so hard. Thank you.
0 likesU are amazing . I admire u so . I live in the new York City and I appreciate your article about dissociation and it has helped me so . I am blessed u have invited me into your space lovely m
0 likesdoes anyone else ever feel this sense of guilt or shame whenever they feel lonely and maybe miss having ppl around?
2 likesReplies (1)
Yes. It feels like it's my fault that I'm lonely.
0 likesi literally put on this video as another distraction and it was really comforting to hear i’m not the only one feeling this empty. :’)
0 likesI've lived alone a lot and I know exactly what Dodie means. What I think might help is listening to podcasts and having them play through speakers or headphones. That way it's like there's a conversation with friends happening around you ^^
0 likesThis was so relatable. I just had a massive scare realising I hadn't taken my pill in five days because I hadn't registered how time was passing. It's so odd realising the weeks have slipped away and you haven't even noticed.
0 likesI think also another thing to remember when we all have trouble being alone, humans aren't supposed to be alone. Yeah sure, we all like a quiet moment for ourselves, but no one thrives with no human contact what so ever. We all need people around us if that's a big crowd or 4 friends, then so be it. Different needs, but the same core wants :)
0 likesHeyo. Ya don't know me. You've helped me quite literally more than I'm mentally capable of thinking about.
1 likeThe future's terrifying, I'm sure ya know what that's like. But you've been through a lot :) enough to help someone like me along their way. And I'm quite certain I'm not the only one.
So even though thinkin about the past, present, and future may be terrifying (hell, thinkin in general is scary ig), take a moment to reflect on how far you've come since that girl sittin in her bedroom :) You've accomplished more than some generations accomplish, doodle. You've saved at the very least thousands of lives. And you're still just beginning your journey.
anyways, much love from colorado. <3 stay cool
Big mood here. I lived alone from March to September and I thought it didn’t affect me that much but now looking back it just feels like a BLACK HOLE OF REPETITIVE CRIPPLING SOLITUDE. We just gotta be extra kind to ourselves and take it as it comes 💖
0 likesi LOVE these videos where you talk about your thoughts and if you had a podcast I would totally listen to it ahjsdhjsjs
0 likesi was feeling like this right now. something told me to go watch a video. thanks dodie!
0 likesdodie!!! this is exactly how i’ve been feeling all year 😭 pls be my friend i’ll keep you company via the interwebs haha
0 likesI've never had any friends and I'm 23, this is how I've felt for literally years, every minuet every day I am completely alone, my life feels like I'm trapped in an empty void for eternity, I can't even imagine what it would be like to have actual nice fun conversations with other people.
0 likesI’m having a very bad depressive episode tonight but this calmed me down and relaxed me to the point where I think I want to sleep, I feel quite sick from crying but I know it will subside eventually
0 likesI used to always think I would be amazing alone before the pandemic but because of quarantine it made me start to think maybe I’m not as introverted as I thought I was. Because I realized I didn’t love talking to complete strangers, but I loved to be around people and know that I am “safe” and that I exist and I am in a moment.
0 likesi wonder if dodie knows that i put on her videos when i get this feeling, just as a sort of calming background noise.
0 likesHaha I feel this video so much. I hope you take solace in your followers. I think we all would want you to know we're here 😊 ❤Dodie
0 likesI'm not through the door of learning whatever this will teach me lol
6 likesReplies (2)
lol
1 likeSame
0 likesDodie you are wonderful. I have depersonalisation too it's scary. You articulate your words so well and it's nice to know someone else understands the crazy empty constant spaced out feeling. I send love magical lady! 💖
0 likesI always want to comment something lovely and poetic on your videos HOWEVER my brain is functioning at minimum capacity right now, so just, thank you. I'm glad that in the grand scheme of things, you are okay, but I hope you know that it's just a sucky situation and you have every right in the world to feel bad and to take care of yourself and you deserve ALL the cups of tea you could possibly want
0 likesI'm sending you a big hug from France. I hope and know it's gonna be ok for you in the end. I know this feeling you have and it's gonna be ok. And maybe why not having a roommate ? I think it's ok during the pandemic to have one people to spend time with
0 likes"even my bone feel lonely" .. hit hard.
0 likesAround November '19 I sorta realised that I had never truly been alone and it made me want to learn how to do that, and then the pandemic happened, essentially forcing me to do it.. But it has now been 10 months, and I think I am still chasing even the slightest bit of connection . how do people do this, how does anyone stare at a blank wall and be okay with it?
Sorry can we just talk about Dodie just standing in the shower, fully clothed just... Sighing.
9 likesReplies (1)
if that ain't a 2020 mood
1 likeyou always deliver these nuggets of your life right when im feeling kinda the same way which like duh pandemic but STILL THANK U FOR SHARING!!!! ive felt so sad and icky but its growth i guess? ew idk anyway i love u care for urself TOOO 💌
0 likesim scared at how much this incredibly sums up my entire being... i couldn’t relate more to someone honestly.
0 likesThis feeling has been very persistent for me lately. Especially with the holidays coming and my friends are coming home from college, but I can't just go over and see them. Also unproductive guilt is a real thing.
0 likesI love this!! wishing you the best <33
0 likesThe part about putting on background noise to drown out the “soul sucking silence’, I felt that lmao
3 likesI’m addicted to YouTube for this reason, not in the way some people describe where it feels like chillen with a friend because it’s distinctly different from that but... For that reason you described lmao I’m someone who generally, and *genuinely*, enjoys my alone time and bonding with myself, but this year stripping the agency of choice away... Ugh.
The sigh thing was perfect. It's so true
1 likeHonestly it took me years to feel comfortable being by myself. When I moved in my first apartment alone, I went through one of the hardest periods of my life, doing stuff at the most uncanny hours, being unable to take care of myself or my flat, and just trying to spend as much time outside with company as possible even though I was also struggling with social anxiety (least of two evils I guess...) I was very much afraid of facing loneliness during this second lockdown, and so far so good, I guess I got to a point in which I'm used to it and I can use the time alone to recharge. But I am so impatient for the time I can go back to a normal life... Don't beat yourself up if you hate being alone, no one was ever made to be in total isolation.
0 likesI feel kinda bad for functioning so well alone i wish i could share some of that with you all to help u function
0 likesdidn't think i would cry during this lol
6 likesWait, so YOU’RE the reason Amanda was recommended to me?
0 likesThanks, I love her and you :))
The spotify sleep timer thing has made my life immeasurable better cause even when I'm going to sleep i need to play some music and not let the silence in
0 likes"at least i'm not maybe killing people" is honestly the only way to think about isolating in a positive way without sounding unrealistically optimistic.
1 likethank you for the captions Dodie. <3
2 likesThe Queens Gambit and The Devil of All Time, literally my latest two quarantine obsessions they're great.
4 likes“Even my bones feel lonely” well shit Dodie
0 likesYou know what. You're right. I DO deserve a cup of tea.
0 likesWow. So inspirational. 💛😂
"you can watch it with your eyeballs" "its delicious" "crystal clear" hand gestures IM O R B I T I N G
0 likesI feel this video on a spiritual level
1 likehow about you move to an isolated cottage in the scottish highlands with no wifi for 6 months? could work
53 likesReplies (1)
hey i think i might steal this idea real quick
12 likesOk I’m not trying to sound weird but your voice is very soothing and soft
2 likesI feel this. Thank you :)
0 likesI went from living at an apartment with 2 other people to living in a house all by myself this summer and yeah.... it's rough being alone
0 likesI think this is going to be really helpful for me over the next few weeks. I’m a freshman in college, so I’ve never lived alone. I came to college with a couple of friends from home, so I’ve never really been without them, and I got paired with a roommate and we’ve gotten really close. On Tuesday, Thanksgiving break starts and when classes resumes after break they’ll resume 100% online, and we’ve been encouraged not to travel back and forth, if you go home Thanksgiving break stay home until January, and if you want to on campus for the rest of the semester don’t go home for Thanksgiving. In my situation, I don’t feel comfortable going home for a month and a half, I don’t think it would be good for my mental health or for my academics, but almost everyone else is heading out this weekend. My friends are gone and my roommate left yesterday, and it’s sinking in that I am stuck here, alone, until December 15th. I have this whole room to myself, right now maybe half of my floor is left and I’m sure even more people will leave over the next few days. I don’t have a car, so I really am stuck here. I have this 20 square foot room, a bathroom down the hall, a dining room a quarter mile away, and a little on campus cafe in the building over, and that’s my life for the next month, just me, alone. I hope I start to feel better over the next few days, because right now I am dreading being so completely alone.
0 likesI’m sad and this made me not sad
38 likesqueen's gambit is also an awesome example of the different periods in life that we go through. beth goes through so many phases of loneliness and longing--this is just one chapter on the way to greatness & we will get there someday soon!
0 likesI just got out of this ~feeling~ with my friend also clamming himself up but I think he also went through "this" I just want to know he's fine. Like I'm ready to talk to him, but I still don't know what I'll say~
1 likeJust as days mush together, it's unraveled just opening the world again into thinking days go by, sure nothing happens, it's so dark to be alone in my own mind but it's not where so many things happen nothing in control. It's just a regular day, a day for myself to enjoy, yet alone, yet a time for my own.
It's like the old school days but on weekends on loop
Stay strong, love you love you love you, take care
oh i think i had forgotten how soothing an comforting your voice is
0 likesThis pandemic has been pretty lonely. It’ll be over soon, Dodie. Hang in there. Lol “why is it so hard.” I felt that.
0 likesNeeded this thank you
3 likesBig hugs to anyone feeling the same way, it's a super tough time for loads of reasons :( I don't know if this is necessarily helpful, but I thought I would share how I try to gently face my thoughts so that it's less scary to be in silence.
0 likesThis year my anxiety has worsened to the point of being debilitating most of the time and I'm also having obsessions and compulsions, never had them before. I basically go from a state of being engulfed by the thoughts to a state of pushing them down, but I'm trying to implement a happy medium.
I take a few minutes, every once in a while, to face the thoughts and just look at them. I've found journaling to be very soothing. Sometimes, not wanting to see something makes the thing worse, when the thing wants a little bit of attention and kindness. Sometimes your sadness or anxiety can be soothed if you acknowledge them. I see them as little creatures that need to be fed by being acknowledge and treated with patience. I've been trying to respond to my anxiety by saying "it makes sense to be scared" instead of "no shut up".
Happy to respond to anyone looking for tips, I'm not a therapist or anything but I do have some practice with coping + I do follow some really helpful therapists' accounts if I can point anyone to them!! :)
being alone has really taken a toll on my mental health over lockdown, but I know that by not interacting with other in real life I'm protecting them so it worth it but even so its so so hard.
0 likesI watched The Devil All The Time when it first came out in September (because I love Tom Holland, Sebastian Stan and Robert Pattinson) and I was honestly amazed with how good it was. It also felt good to have a break from college work and to just chill and watch a film
0 likesLove ya!!!!
0 likesbut for real i know the feeling, i'm not alone by myself (i live with my family and a sister but sometimes things gets........exhausting)
so i'm with the constant fear of not being the same guy that started the lockdown and being different.....it's...weird.....
still we need to keep moving and taking care of ourselves <4
This feels like a callout but in a good way lol
12 likesyou put exactly how i feel into words.
0 likes@doddlevloggle
0 likesI used to watch you a lot a few years ago and then I kind of quit watching vlogs and stuff like that for some reason. But I keep coming back to you, whether it’s a memory of your music and candid content or my new classmate listening to your songs nonstop 😁
I’ve experienced a few episodes of depersonalization for the first time in my life a few weeks back and it’s been really rough.
Not sure if I had an actual point with my rambeling other than that I appreciate you. Stay safe. ❤️
All I could think of as she was talking about the loneliness setting in was Mitski’s “Nobody” and how much it connects to the loneliness of 2020
1 likeI would enjoy a cup of tea and a conversation anytime although I am more on the other end of the scale (I can spend a lot of time on my own and being with too many people let's me seek out solitude) Enjoy your tea, you definitely deserve it
0 likes"even my bones feel lonely" I'VE NEVER RELATED TO ANYTHING MORE
3 likesBrooooo! Same!!! I literally had so many meltdowns because I was most alone I've ever been, and I wanted to see my friends. I hated it.
0 likesOof the whole wasting my youth thing hit hard. Ive been dealing with that so much the past couple months its terrible ive cried so much
0 likesthanks for talking about this <3 gonna make myself a cup of tea because life is sad and tea is warm
0 likesI've never heard anyone say they like the way Americans speak ❤️ hehe
3 likesi feel ya dodie, you explaining and repeating you're fine from 6:42 reminded me of Ross's "I"M FINEEEEE" moment... you were just not squeaky enough :P
0 likesThis hit me hard, I definitely relate to the de-personalization thing. Lockdown has led to me to realize Im not as introverted as I have thought for like, 15 years. Turns out I need ppl to function, which realizing is both liberating because Im understanding myself better but also HORRIFYING because being utterly depending on being around other ppl takes away that element of control I always thought I had but didnt.
0 likesSuzie collier is the most inspiring, I love her posts <3
0 likesYou know it’s ok feel like you need people around, we are social beings, we like to have people around to talk to, so don’t feel like it’s bad to be upset about being alone because guess what your not “alone” in feeling that, I hope everybody is ok doin good, love you all❤️
0 likes“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~Mary Oliver
3 likesI feel this heavily as i have covid so im isolating all alone :((
0 likesjust saw my partner for the first time in 8 months and i forgot how much nicer he makes the world feel
0 likesIt's really interesting because I've been alone for like most of my life, no friends, just myself for company. And now, this year, countless people are experiencing what I have always experienced. 'Even my bones feel lonely'. When Dodie said that I realised that I have always had that feeling, just lingering within me all the time. It's just strange seeing a lot of people are struggling with a thing that is the norm for me (being isolated). It's basically the meme where the guy is in the gallows and says 'first time?'.
0 likesI relateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thanks for sharing, hope you're okay.
0 likes"recently I like to put on American news"
3 likesevery American: why
Why is it that i always procrastinate to watch her vids and then feel sooo much better when i watched it .. it is like a really small therapie session for me personally and always hits home so bad
0 likesI FEEL THIS SO MUCH I MISS HUMAN BEINGS god i just want to hug my boyfriend and my friends and and my family! i thrive of genuine human connection i’ve been struggling with only being able to see people through a screen! especially as i’m all alone in my london flat:’)))
0 likesI feel like this when I’m alone and when I’m in a room full of people I always feel lost and lonely and goddame hopeless.....
0 likesthe dodie dots are just majestic, i love them sm
1 like2:01
10 likes... never related more to anything ever
Replies (1)
sameeeee😔
1 likehey. i've been alone 100% by myself for like 3 months now and I love it. I've always thought that solitude is so looked down upon and always have wondered why people never learn to be by themselves. These are the most obvious tips but it's literally what I do:
0 likes- work (always good to keep your mind off the crazy world outiside)
- fun breaks (watch movies, sit down and read)
- just playing music and singing non stop for hours until you need to do something else
hope this helps
While I've always had friends (not always close friends though) I've been in "quarantine" plenty of times in my life, not because of a virus but usually because of random chance (my friends being busy or away, me living in the middle of nowhere and so on), it's really difficult to me not to say to basically everyone in the world "told ya" now that all the people that constantly said to me "you need to learn to like being on your own" are freaking out "only" because they have not seen people in 1-2 weeks, but instead I want to share what I learned across the years.
0 likesHumans are hardwired to need others, there's nothing you can do, it's in our gene, and I'm being literal here, sure, you might not be able to handle parties or meeteing a lot of new people and stuff, but you still need company. But when you cannot get that, when you are forced to being alone not all hope is lost, it's important to understand that while being alone you are going through something similar to an illness, you don't have energy, you don't feel well, and if usually when you have a bad flu or something you don't blame yourself because you are not doing things and being productive you shouldn't if feeling alone is making you do the same, it's fine to just relax, consume lots and lots of movies, series, books and stuff, because when you are alone you need to focus on surviving, not on thriving, you need to resist till the day you can meet someone again, or at least this is how I was able plenty of times to not fall into total despair.
(I used "you" a lot and it sounds like I wanted to address dodie directly, that's not the case I just wanted to say something that was in my mind for a while, I hope this can help someone)
GIRL PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU TO DO MORE ASMR YOUR VOICE IS SO SOOTHING
0 likesI like to put on my comfort movies in the background and when they end I just start them again and this is how I've "watched" Wreck it Ralph over 100 times
0 likesOne is the loneliness number.
8 likesMy boyfriend and only friend broke up with me during this awkward time. Dodie saying her bones felt lonely is such an accurate way to describe what I'm sure so many including myself are feeling right now haha
2 likesReplies (2)
I'm sorry that happened to you :(
0 likes@Michelle Marie aww thank you, I hope you've had a better quarantine!
1 likeLove you Dodie 💜💕 Thanks for the video
0 likesi find it really interesting how this year has affected us all differently, and how we all have reacted to it differently.
0 likesi started this year with at least 5 or 6 people i would do anything for, and now i talk to 2 people outside of my parents and 1 of my brothers, and they are a couple lol. dealing with the death of my oldest brother, by myself with no one comforting me in the way i expected or needed, and my anxiety finally reaching detrimental levels rather than just being upsetting, i am the loneliest and happiest i have been in a while. my biggest fear before this year was that id become a hermit, lonely and alone, because idk how to make friends. Now im content with that being a self fufilling prophecy; even if im scared that that feeling will dissipate and some god awful depression is just around the corner. this year has been a ride, and im not ready for future existentialism, but it is what it is and no matter how much it upsets me that idk how to talk to friends id had for years that didnt help me a fraction of how much i helped them, i know there will still be things that make me happy, even if rn people do anything but make me happy.
1:58: when my therapist asks me how I am at making friends...
4 likesi’m sorry but when dodie mentioned the devil all the time i quite literally screamed, my two worlds colliding ahh
2 likesI have already watched the Queens Gambit twice and aaaahh it is incredible and definitely helps in the times right now especially with bein alone
0 likesMy room feels more like a prison than a home at this point
2 likesI’m very introverted, so I kinda enjoy being alone to recharge. I totally agree with what you’re saying though, about being alone, and having to sit with yourself, and needing distraction in the background. I also think there is a difference between being alone, and being lonely too.
0 likesAt uni, I had housemates that I didn’t fit in with, and they just couldn’t understand why I was so different. They were law students, and super loud and obnoxious; I was the weird, shy illustration student with low self-esteem, who kept to herself...(I couldn’t move house because of contracts). I guess that’s loneliness, even though you’re still with people in the same house. (That was a few years ago, I’m fine now!)
But I know this is a totally different situation, and its hard as normal life has been turned upside down for everyone, and we’re forced to stay home; shops are shut, and we can’t sit in cafes with a friend or family, or travel like we used to. It’s super easy to get distracted with the infinite scroll, or go down a YouTube rabbit hole.
Sometimes it’s okay to just sit for a minute, with a cup of tea or coffee, or like you say, putting down screens, and watching a film. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes and do things for yourself.
I know everyone’s situation is different, and we all have different ways of coping. I guess it’s a learning curve for us all, to learn more about who we are as individuals, to be kinder, by doing more acts of kindness, and keeping others safe by staying home. 💕
YES THE QUEENS GAMBIT ANYA TAYLOR JOY IS SO PRETTY AND COOL
7 likesSuzie Collier's post is so lovely. All of you, go watch it right now (it's in the description). It's made me feel so much better.
0 likesEven ‘my bones feel lonely’ fucking smashed my heart! Oooouuuccchhh
0 likesI feel you girl, being alone is so fucking hard
0 likesIf anyone's feeling alone, don't fret. I'm here with you.
0 likesDODIE HI I LOVE U SO MUCH
3 likesthe sigh, and the pure look of desperation. i feel you. man, it is tough.
0 likesHow jealous out of 10 are you that I have a freckle under my left eye so it's like a Dodie-dot, I think you should reach out and try and find someone who has both eyes freckled! Someone MUST have the natural Dodie-dot! They deserve a free bit of merch 😂
1 likeyou always post videos like this right when I need it
0 likesSolitary confinement is considered to be a form of psychological torture for a reason
1 likei love you and WHERE did you get this lovely poofy sleeved jumper
3 likesmaking tea for myself now because dodie said i deserve it <3
0 likesI love this video! Thank you so much!
0 likesI find playing social video games helps satisfy that lack of social interaction. If video games aren't your cup of tea, Dungeons and Dragons is surprisingly accessible online and with friend.
1 likeThis is word for word exactly what I'm feeling and I feel better that I'm not alone in it
0 likesi am in love with u thanks
3 likesThanks for reminding me to take care of myself. I’m gonna put on some tea now.
0 likesWelp I can totally relate to this. Right now I'm watching all of the SNL Youtube uploads because they are so hilarious and because I can't stay in focus on my homework for more then 10 minutes. My mental health is at the moment on it's lowest then it has ever been. Life is so much fun!
0 likesI think making a whole video articulating your thoughts on loneliness WHILE BEING SO SO LONELY is a huge accomplishment. Cut yourself some slack, love.
0 likesLoneliness is something I'm unintentionally an expert in, even prior to the pandemic. In small doses it's good to get away from people. In unacceptably large doses your mind begins to cannibalise itself. We rely on other people to remind us we're normal and when we don't have that, we lose all perspective. You wonder why people in solitary confinement experience such severe symptoms, just imagine all the things about yourself you find weird you tell your friends and family and imagine not being able to do that. You slowly convince yourself you ARE weird and the loneliness reinforces that in a vicious cycle: you think you're alone BECAUSE you're weird and because you're weird you think you'll always be alone. This is even worse if you had long periods of being alone earlier in life as you never had that perspective to begin with and need to spend years catching up and going through multiple depressions to get to a place where you feel normal. You also lose the practice you get speaking and the thinking that accompanies it so your ability to think and speak in real time stagnates. As before if you experience being alone early on then it's much more difficult to fix later. Many people are experiencing all of this for the first time and no doubt many will be gone from us now because it was too much for them, as necessary as all these restrictions are. Since we're going through this again, please take care of each other, and when this is all finally over, remember the experience and let it give you empathy going forward.
0 likestitle is a lockdown mood
7 likesThat is also why I scared of silence, all of my childhood I’ve been taught to either stay quiet or trouble. But also that silence meant my parents were disappointed in me, I cannot sleep without noise, it’s nerve wracking and It makes my skin crawl
0 likesDodie I wish you all the best, look after yourself alright? (:
0 likesMan I understand this so much, and I also would like to give you company on a nice safe video chat whenever you are alone. Like whenever you like to have voices from a person resonating through your house. We should all be more okay with being with ourself, but it’s also very normal to want to have loved ones around because there’s no other feeling than that connection with a group, or the laughs with a loved one, so don’t ever feel wrong for longing for that :)
0 likesi love you, everyone be strong
1 likei’ve never been this early wtf. love u tho!
7 likesDodie, I will always be here to help you. All I ever want is to be with you. I have been lonely for 38 years. I would love to meet you face(mask) to face(mask).
0 likesMy way of coping with the loneliness has been putting on Dodie and Sav’s videos. Just listening to someone speaking about their thoughts fills the silence so well. I also struggle with dissociation but at least this way I’m spacing out while I listen to people’s beautiful words instead of whatever is on my phone
0 likesI’m 21 and have literally zero friends so I have no choice but to be alone. The only people I talk to are my parents and sometimes my brother but he’s in the military so I don’t get to chat with him that much. Idk, I’ve never had many friends so I’m pretty used to it and am content being alone, but with covid and now winter approaching I’m feeling kinda shitty. I don’t mind being alone, it’s being lonely that’s tough.
2 likesThe devil all the time is such a great movie good God had my heart racing for two and a half hours
0 likeswow your hair is so long :0
7 likesthis video means so much to me ❤️❤️❤️❤️
0 likesThe editing on this is magnificent
0 likesI spend so much time trying to convince my brain to wake up fully. It feels like running at 60%. But either way, I am doing my best and being kind to myself. It isnt too bad all the time
0 likesthank you for being so honest, i know you've said you don't like talking about stuff like this when you're in the middle of it, but this felt really nice, so thank youu. also, and this is probably old news, but the thing that helps me the most with scrolling less is setting the tiny tiniest goals, like sososo small, because then you'll most likely succeed, and that'll make it easier to succeed again (it's like a proven psychological thing). because sometimes our brain just needs to experience the thing and realise that it works. and also to experience that we won't die from the immense discomfort. because experiencing that we are strong enough to endure the pain is different from knowing it/being told.
0 likesI zoomed to watch this
6 likesbeautiful video, also the queen’s gambit is UNPARALLELED, its so so good
0 likesFirst time I watched The Queen's Gambit, I thought: dodie will love this. Anya Taylor-Joy is amazing.
2 likesI actually feel more alone around most people than when I am actually alone.
0 likesI space out and get a lot of brain fog, being with friends normally helps combat that but that's not possible right now. im also someone who just finds themselves 'wasting time scrolling' and then feel bad that i wasn't being productive. Podcasts have really helped recently, also playing the sims while one is playing. this feels like the only thing that can relax me currently.
0 likeswoww im early for once 0-0
4 likesI’m also obsessed with the queens gambit !! I’ve watched like a million times
0 likesI've heard people say its the difference between being alone and lonely, i get that
0 likesFor me, the fact I actually feel comfortable being by myself so much does make me realise how much I've had to learn that as a coping mechanism in life. If Covid has taught me anything, it's that my DPD most likely stems from having had to adapt my mind to cope with tough situations and being on my own so much over the years - so that now, isolation feels pretty normal. I don't have any intrusive thoughts or worries when I'm on my own, really...I just get on with things like I always do. So maybe that's it: the world (& in my experience, people) are often nasty - so being on my own and learning to numb myself to any negative emotions that might come from that has been the best 'survival tactic' for me.
0 likeshello :)
3 likesYour a beautiful strong woman dodie iam a loner so being alone is natural love you dodie your always interesting
0 likesnot me watching dodie's video because i've been feeling scared being alone and listening to my own thoughts and feelings lately
0 likesEven being 15 and living with my family I feel lonely😕
1 likeThis is so interesting to me as I deal with constant auditory hallucinations and haven't been "alone" for like 10 years? To have constant commentary on everything in my life is difficult, and being alone (as in, no real people around) can either make things ten times worse or actually managable. But I don't know what I'd do with silence to be honest. The voices I hear are nearly always negative, mostly about me, so its difficult to self reflect accurately and objectively. Idk. In conclusion this video is interesting and talking about the struggle of being alone with ourselves, especially these days with phones and constant distraction is super important. Also, yesssss for the Amanda love!! Her channel is awesome.
0 likesBe true to yourself, you'll make it. When I was a teenager I was always with friends to avoid feeling alone, I couldn't stand it, but now I'm old I've learned to love being alone. Music and films are a good way to learn to enjoy solitude. And yes, have as much tea as you want.
0 likesReplies (1)
also, for me my fear of being alone was linked to an overactive ego. When we are in the womb we are never alone, we are always with our Mom, even when she farts we feel a huge earthquake! Then the first year or so someone is with us 24/7 (unless you're Tarzan but even then you'd have talking animals). After that our caregivers and teachers are constantly there monitoring us and correcting our behaviours. Eventually our friends take on this role of observing our behaviour and giving us praise or warnings. So for the first 18 years of life our ego is getting continuous feedback on itself from others. When we have a moment when that goes away we feel very different!! No one is watching us, no one is listening to us, what could that mean?! At first our ego starts to praise and warn itself constantly, to fill the gap of no one else paying attention to it, and of course that is annoying and feels strange. But eventually when you let go of your ego you can start feeling comfortable being alone. It takes a long time, it won't happen overnight. For me I started letting go of my ego by reminding myself that 'most of the time most of the people mostly don't care what you're doing'. Sounds harsh, but most of the time most of the people are thinking about their own egos. They're sitting with you but they're mostly thinking about themselves and how others are seeing them (did they think I was strange when I did that? did they like it when I did that? should I do this in front of them or will they reject me? etc.) So being alone is a way to start seeing your own ego in action, without all the noise and excitement of company, and when you see your ego more clearly it's easier to acknowledge it. That's the first step to learn to truly listen to others for who they are, and not just for how they make you feel. When you're alone try to just observe and touch the world around you, and try to create art, crafts and music out of the world. P.S. I still have ego of course, it's just less strong than it used to be, and every day is day 1
0 likesHaha, I have ADHD, I cant remember the last time I wasnt spaced out, especially this year. It sucks and its lonely haha!
0 likesi always thought i was good at being alone, since i was a kid ive been maladaptive daydreaming which means if im lonely or bored i just fantasize and imagine these little worlds until i move onto the next thing. it wasn't until this year i realised how dangerous all of that really is, you can be just in your head imagining these places or people that don't exist for hours on end. its been chronic for me my whole life. no solution to that yet but im working on it lol
0 likeswhen you started saying how quiet it was and got silent for a while it felt like you left and i was alone again... it absolutely sucked and that’s when i realized i was using even this video to fill a sort of void
1 likei work so much better by myself, but it’s comforting knowing someone is there. it’s nice to have an option instead of being forced to be alone
0 likesHi!!!!! I know you can't hear my voice say that word. But know that there are people out there being friendly in your direction. lol
1 likethe best advice i ever got was that "It's okay to just have a cup of tea"
0 likesi like to be alone as long as i know i have the option to be with ppl if i want to. Even over the phone is fine. It actually worries me sometimes how okay i am with not leaving my house for a few days at a time (although i've never lived completely by myself so idk abt that)
0 likesSo I get that this isn't a new upload but I haven't kept up with your channel in quite some time and so lately I've been reading your book and it's felt like listening to you speak to the parts of me that need someone close and endearing. Even watching this video while eating lunch alone in my own house feels like I'm catching up with a friend and that has helped me feel less scared of the quiet. I love that when I'm watching you speak, it's not me watching a YouTuber; it's me watching and listening to a childhood friend I never had.
0 likesI feel alone these days even when surrounded by people. I felt alone on my birthday. They all forgot basically.
0 likesI don't think my phone is bad. I'm not scrolling, but rather talking to the people I can't see face to face to talk to.
But yeah humans are social creatures so it's all good!
Ahhhhhh, 7 mins of dodie bliss
0 likesThey're lifting restrictions where I live and every little bit of me wants to hang out with friends that I haven't seen in a long time or I don't know /do something/ and it sucks to always have to like deny this one thing that would really be healthy for me lol. You're not alone dodes
0 likesYup. Still figuring out how to soothe the loneliness feelings and attempting productivity instead of sitting down then looking up from scrolling or games and it's been hours.
0 likesI have the same problem with scrolling apps (social media or whatnot) so I set app timers so I'm only on them for a certain time every day. So instead of mindless scrolling, if you know you only have a couple hours for the whole day, you'll be more intentional with your use. It helped me a lot!
0 likesuse the pain to write So much of what you talk about in this video is poetic and raw
0 likesdodie you make me feel less alone
0 likesI've been thinking about this for probably more than a year straight so I really wish I could talk to you about it cuz I have THOUGHTS
0 likesOmg I loved the pied pipers!! Their music is so lovely <3
0 likesholy crap
0 likes"even my bones feel lonely" would be such a good song lyric
I might just have to use it, oops- starts collecting more ideas
I watch YouTube videos constantly to shut up my brain, but then I end up finding videos like this that kinda just make me feel bad for doing it while I'm doing it and I continue to do it...
0 likesAnd the funny thing is I'm still kinda getting shit done, but I'm left wondering how much more I could get done if I didn't waste most of like every single day...
I have DP/DR and I can relate to this. This year is so unnatural.
0 likesThat pied piper sample sounds like having it in the background would feel like you were living in the Fallout universe dystopia... and that could be weirdly soothing or terrifying lol not sure which
0 likesI've been alone for so long, I just feel numb to it now.
0 likesGive Dodie a cup of tea! 🍵
0 likesMan this is so relateable
2 likeshaving to spend a lot of time with yourself alone is particularly difficult when you hate yourself and your own company. i understand why people get bored of me so easily now, im so bored of me
0 likesMy best friend-- at least I thought she was-- is my roommate, and she just decided she wants to live alone, so she's kicking me out. I'm shaking. She knows I have nowhere to go. My funds are low due to losing my job bc of covid. I have no family and nowhere to go. I'm more alone and terrified than I've ever been. Thanks for uploading Dodie, you're helping me calm down. Thank you.
0 likesyea im feeling like that to, i just zone out all day long and just avoid all situations, its so horrible, and its scary when it randomly kicks in and i get this massive anxity feeling like in my heart
0 likesi feel so bad for people in lockdown alone ;-; i’m with my family and have no friends so my life isn’t really that different except i do dissociate when everyone goes to work and stuff. love to everyone stay safe xx
0 likesso personal, so pure. Best video ever watched.
0 likesWell, now I feel really lonely, we can meet to be lonely together ... like two weird humans spaces out :')
0 likesThe longer u leave someone all alone makes the situation worse 😂
0 likesI relate to this heavily.
1 likeI'm feel very very alone too. I live alone, during a lockdown (and a tiered system which is highly unfair on those who live alone). I have very few people to contact, and none to talk about the deep things with. I work from home due to Covid which adds a lot of stress. So I get it.
0 likesCurrently spacing out of my surroundings as Dodie talks about how she does the exact same thing, but in all honesty I hate doing this daily. So many things I could be doing but trying to stay motivated while alone in my own head is so hard 😬😌 Gonna put my phone down now and actually do something
0 likesits not bad to need people! thats literally part of human nature. If I didnt have my roommates to talk to I would be going insane
1 likewhile ur zoning dodie please consider making some more videos 😍🥺 we love you
0 likesI see you, I know what it means. You’re alone at home and the second you stop scrolling your phone or watching Netflix, you disconnect from yourself. I used to spend d a y s sitting on my sofa, not even moving because my anxiety would literally give me a panic attack after 15 seconds. It’s hard, you compare yourself to all the other people your age and you feel like shit. I get it. What changed everything for me was practicing mindfulness. I was so helpless so I gave it a chance. The first months I couldn’t sit still for more than two minutes, keeping my eyes close made me feel dizzy and when I opened them I felt even more derealised. But then I noticed some changes. I felt like for the first time in years I could feel my body, feel the things around me and not like I was two different people watching a movie of my life. Please give it a try. All the love✨
0 likesthis is interesting for me to watch because i'm struggling with not being alone enough - i'm still in highschool, so i live with my sister and we switch between my parents' houses weekly. the change of scenery helps, but it's still a bit much being stuck in a house all day with two other people. when i'm alone, i walk around the house and talk to the cat and listen to music and don't really feel the need to think too hard about anything. when my family is home, i'm either thinking and interacting and feeling overwhelmed or i'm sitting in my room or on the couch staring at a screen and trying to shut off my brain. i am not sure if i feel this way because i live with people and am not often alone, because i am an introvert, or a mix of both. i am not sure why i'm commenting about this, but i just thought i'd share and am kind of wondering if anyone else experiences this. maybe i will feel the way dodie does when i move out and live alone?
0 likesI feel this but probably for different reasons with having tinnitus. the silence is deafening
0 likesI don‘t live alone so I can‘t really talk about being lonely.. But my dad is, and he just recently got a cat and i feel like that has helped him in his being lonely tremendously. Friends of mine Foster puppies, and I know its not for everyone but if u can i think its something that help both u and the animal..
0 likesAlso dodie is so fuuucking beautiful like what 0.0
i 'member thinking the same thoughts when i was Dodie's age a couple of years ago, spacing out, getting deeper into the essence of things, overthinking constantly. I don't think there's bottom in space. The more you think and expand your knowledge and understanding bubble, the larger the contact area with the unknown. I know the feel she's talking about when you don't want to admit you need people at times to function. Unfortunately, i learned it the hard way that you can not function and still live. Or rather exist. To shush away the dependency thought, put it in a different perspective - think of what you can give people while communicating and it will make it feel like an exchange rather than strictly getting help. It's true about youth and all that stuff. It's just hard to be happy on command, too. You're doing it right staying alone right now and deminishing the risk, Dodie. I believe you will find a way to feel better soon. It's not about trying harder if you ask me, it's figuring out what works for you. And I'm sure you will.
0 likesthis videa came at literally the perfect time! thankyou x
0 likesI literally live like this all the bc I have social anxiety and I've been studying from home for years
0 likesBeing alone and being alone with thoughts are two very different things that need to be recognized. Being alone with thoughts is good to do but not for a long period of time. Being alone (I find it best when meditating... not to be cringe) is so calming for relaxing but is only good in moderation as all thing should be. Take some time for yourself and be kind to yourself like dodie said! I hope this helped someone ❤️
0 likesDodie! Check out music twitch. It fills the lonely gap very nicely and they respond to your comments live 💜
0 likesKeep your chin up! you got this!
0 likesI also spend all my time on screens because the inside of my head is actually terrifying.
0 likesThe!! Queen's!! Gambit!!
1 likei'm in love with beth harmon and benny made me question my sexuality so i highly recommend that experience lmao
I put on youtube 24/7 (tbh addicted) to never have to deal with being alone.
0 likesHang in there keep finding more of yourself
0 likesyour colour pallets in your vids make me smile
1 likeEveryone I live with is still at work (school and essential) and I'm here on furlough, all alone with my thoughts at home. I'm constantly with background noise, restarted a game on my switch and I've got near constant chat with a friend since we're both one braincell and need the same thing
0 likesBe alone ,be with others .
0 likesIt’s not one or the other.
the most relatable video yet. i think the combination of not having a job + not being able to see friends + seasonal depression = a highly depressive & low energy vibe around the house. it’s absolutely exhausting. it does feel good to be heard though, i’m sorry it sucks for us rn, dodie. but we’ll muddle through like we always do. <3
0 likesHonestly I love being alone. I actually am a bit scared to move in with my bf because I'm afraid of never getting to be alone. Right now I am living with my parents again after having lived alone for a while at uni and I miss it so much. I miss being able to keep my door open and not worry about other people popping in or being nosy about what I am up to or talking to me at all....
0 likesNow when I get the house to myself I jump up and down lol. Fuck I'd love to be home alone.
I live alone and it was too much with just me so now I have 4 guinea pigs. Would recommend!! <3
0 likesWith your beautiful speaking voice you should make meditation videos.
0 likesi just moved out of my family home for the first time. it's a 2 bedroom apartment, but it's mostly hardwood floors and also super echoy sometimes. i turn on the tv in the background for noise too. but it really only gets bad at night. anyone else like this? all the soul sucking alone-ness (even if i live with a roommate) and the horrible anxieties and thoughts about mortality and human life and the inevitability of things really only hit me hard at night, during the day doesn't bother me at all. and oof, i had a full on anxiety attack in the shower yesterday because i couldn't stop thinking about it all and shaking and having trouble breathing and being in my own body and i just full on screamed at one point because it was not a good time.
0 likesidk why i'm saying all this. thanks for this video dods.
Me: opens videos
0 likesDodie: plays that clip of Amanda's video
Me: oh. OH. Ohh. Oh no. Ow
Try to enjoy ur time with urself , Ure really nice and funny . enjoy ur videos 🍿
1 likeI'm in the same place as 19 year old Dodie (figuratively and literally), but I'm in halls instead and often find myself wishing for a little bit more quiet.
0 likesI spend a lot of time by myself and usually do okay in my own company, but there's a weird conflict going on where I both need to be alone and need to interact with other humans so I stop sleeping/all-nightering my life away. V odd
I'm 15 so I've been around my family 24/7 for the last... how many months has it been now? Honestly it hasn't been ideal, I'm not the biggest fan of my home environment, but at least I've got my mom to check on me when I'm in a depressive episode lol and the whole of the internet to help me pretend I'm anywhere else
0 likesHuman beings are meant to live in communities. We did for the first 9000 or so years of our current homosapien experience. The idea that we have to be alone is a hard one to try to conceptualize. I hope you know that many of us need people, even if we don't want to admit it <3
0 likeslots of people probably need some love
1 likeso have some from me
------> ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
You're valid and loved. Stay safe xx
For anyone feeling lonely, here's some tips I found useful. Feel free to spread them yourself if you want. Claim them as your own if you wish. If it helps others, tell them. FIRST thing I found that helps, get into a new hobby. I'm currently getting into concept art because I enjoy gritty realism in drawings and I like being able to make stuff I admire when I look at it. I've also been getting into 3d printing and painting and electronics (cough cough iron man suit) which is expensive but oh so satisfying. It just helps to find new stuff. Or maybe rekindle some old interests that you never got good at, take a deeper look as to why they flopped, and try it out with what went wrong in mind. Second thing I found that helps, especially with the social aspect of things. Go over to Discord (I'm just saying that because it's easiest for me) and connect with new people. Join a server full of people who share your interests, and people who are nice and able to give you advice and just talk. It's a nice platform in the right place. Third thing I found that helps, and trust me, it helps a lot. Don't be hard on yourself for not doing anything if you're being lazy. We call it laziness but in all reality, it's just us having nothing to do and indulging in our desire to not have to do anything for once. Hope this helps whoever finds it :D
0 likesYou are never alone, You are always with yourself
0 likesI have like a single friend and it's so lonely to rapidly go from 50+ friends to so little.
0 likesits awful. i really feel this. dodie, i can’t express how much you’ve helped me through lockdown (in the US too, where cases are still getting worse and worse lol). and not just though lockdown, literally through like 5 ish years of poor mental health. not to mention being incREDIBLY inspirational to me musically and motivating me when nothing else can- i really could never thank you enough. ILYSM.
0 likesThe devil all the time is an amazing movie I love it.
1 likeI spend more time in my own like fantasy storyline/different versions of me at different ages in different places interacting with different people basically anything other than my own person than I do with myself. Like I will pace around my room acting out a thing I have in my head.
0 likesTwo years ago my parents were visiting the UK as they were living in Spain. My mum, who had really bad ashthma spent too long sitting in cars and unbeknownst to all developed blood clots on her lungs, which put a lot of pressure on her heart. After a month in hospital they finally found out it wasn't her heart that was the problem and started treatment for her to recover from the blood clots. She got discharged from hospital with an Oxygen tank and blood thinners and a plan for recovery.
0 likesIn the last few days in hospital she also picked up the flu. within 3 days she was back in hospital and, due to the stress on her heart had to be induced into a coma I'm the hope that they could treat her flu and take pressure off her poor heart.
It didn't work. The only thing they could do at this point was let her out of the coma to day goodbye to my sister and dad before her heart gave out.
I couldn't get to Spain before she passed. I didn't get to say goodbye.
This is a similar story to the majority of Covid deaths, where the desease puts too much pressure on systems already struggling with other heath issues. It's especially hard because so many people have been alone when they died. So many loved ones have to deal with this without saying goodbye.
This is why you ARE saving people by staying at home. We all are.
For those struggling with not seeing people: you are my hero for staying strong social distancing and staying home. You are sparing people from going through what my family went through, what so many families are going through with Covid.
Thank you.
i wish i could help you out. it’s hard to feel that way when i live with 5 other people, a noisy dog and i’m 17 and have to sleep in a bunk bed with my 12 y/o sister
0 likesYou are one of those artists I like instantly. Not sure what is it about the songs you play, it seems like so much pleasure to be able to come up with such creations.
0 likesSending a hug your way. 💖
0 likesHopefully not much longer of this horribleness. Thanks for sharing.
I live in a triad, three of us in the house. We've just moved in two years ago, and we're all shit at making new friends, so we kind of spent the year before quarantine as just the three of us. But this enforced isolation has definitely been different. No trips to the cinema, no eating out, finding new reastaurants, no just going downtown and strolling (for me, anyway, the other two couldn't care less for that sort of thing), not even being able to try and make new friends or date or anything. So yes, lots of scrolling here, lots of why bother with clean clothes and showers and shaving, lots of putting on the headphones. Not as much reading as I expected though. But yeah, we're lonely with you, so I hope it makes you feel less alone.
0 likesi've always been really fucking good at being alone because i'm incredibly introverted and have not historically been great at maintaining friendships. quarantine has been quite reminiscent of a bunch of summers i've spent completely alone, seeing friends once a month. and now it's like that but i also have ~things~ to do like school, college apps, internships, etc. but i think this video made me realize that i've literally never allowed myself to be alone with my thoughts. i always have something else to distract me, a podcast, a book, a show, social media, work, etc. my idea of being alone has always been to entertain myself. maybe i'll try being truly alone sometime, but it sounds so fucking scary
0 likesbeing an only child i developed a fear of being alone. when i was little i had my cousins with me who were basically my siblings but then i had to move across the country. the fear of being alone sky rocketed and put me in a cycle of being scared then awkwardly calm. quarantine has made me realize how easy it is to fall into that fear again and again. luckily i've also realized that we are truly never alone. these days we have the ability to connect with people we haven't even met. i'm so incredibly thankful to have the internet. being alone is terrifying but then i remember it doesn't last long :)
0 likesI've had a terrible time figuring out how to be alone over the past few years. It's led to me feeling the worst I've ever felt. I was doing well for a while. Then, the pandemic hit and I couldn't go out and combat this loneliness anymore. So it has definitely been a struggle this year to find peace within myself.
0 likesI hope everyone is doing okay though. And know that just because you feel a certain way it doesn't mean you're stuck feeling like that forever. Things get better, life progresses. Even in the current situation we're in we can still continue our lives for the better. I have hopeful thoughts for the future and for all of us in the comments having a hard time ❤️
that is the nicest thing i've heard about americans, that we speak with so much life. thank you HAHA
1 likeI could listen to her talk all day
0 likesThis is such a complicated subject. I have a really hard time discerning if I am actually incredible at being alone and like it (a little too much!) or if I simply do not realize that I am in fact never alone, kind of like Amanda said, and if I really was I would be losing my mind.
0 likesIt's so weird for me because I grew up with 4 siblings, all three sisters in a room together most of my life. Then I had boyfriends and roommates and still have never even lived fully alone in my 27 years on earth. So why in the hell would I actually know what being ALONE is??
I do know that even though being alone is something I thoroughly need in my life and enjoy for the most part, this pandemic has stretched that farther than anyone really needs. I have also found that I have a really hard time with the things I used to have a moderately hard time with. Like...not being alone haha or talking to people, going to the store, leaving my room (that's gotten better thankfully).
Anyway, I think I am just sort of stating my perspective and how I feel about it. But I will say, yoga, meditation and simply going on a walk every day has helped loads with everything. And if you live somewhere (I am in an OK part of the US right now) where even going on a walk isn't safe, I am so sorry and I am sending my love. <3
Love you, Dodie!!
Anyone who says they are fine are not fine. I wish you the best in these tough times.
0 likesI moved to London in early March and I haven't made ONE single friend and it's super depressing, spending my first Christmas alone away from my fam too! Although I'm also secretly loving the alone time it's like a 50:50 split depending on the day, 2021 better be fucking amazing
0 likesQueen's Gambit!! Also that 40's-vibe music sounds lovely
1 likeThe character development of dodie's hair in this video is real
0 likesI feel like we have been raised and taught to seek love and I understand that humans are naturally social beings but.. I feel like we have to see ourselves that friend, that family member, that lover. When you’re alone, your mind takes over and makes you uncomfortable. It’s trying to speak to you. Maybe listen.
0 likesI get it. Shits hard, and the worlds a wreck and we’re all just inevitably bolting into the unknown, but why is it so bad to not be comfortable? Why do you have to distract yourself so hard? Look around you for a sec and feel what you feel
ALSO FUCK PHONES
Love this, thank you
0 likesOop. I forgot i was saving lives by social distancing. Thanks for the reminder 😂💓
0 likesI'm mostly alone most times but as I'm still with my family it's not too lonely but I do know where your coming from and it makes me miss going outside at times or seeing college friends. Though I always know I have friends online to talk to.
0 likesWhile I'm not living alone, I am definitely spending more time alone than usual and I thought I had become used to being alone with my thoughts but then my brain said "hey, remember the doubts you had about your gender years ago? They're still here!"
0 likesSo now, whenever I'm alone I just play podcasts to focus on something else and not on a endless spiral of confusion
I really feel for people living alone right now
Sending you a big purely friendly hug if that's something that you would like
0 likesi like being alone i get more creative, other peoples input just clogs my brain
0 likes2:08 was the moment that I related to the most. Yes, it's just eeeehhhhh.
0 likesSomething that’s helped me stay in the present is journaling daily
0 likes“Even my bones...feel lonely”🥺
0 likesI found it aspirational that you said American's sound full of life. I also enjoyed the Queen's Gambit
0 likesI totally understand i cant be alone for a few hours or else i go crazy so i totally totally understand!!!
0 likesI have been alone in my completely silent flat since march, I haven't been into a shop or anywhere other than a walk. Being at home all the time has made my OCD get so bad that I feel like I am going insane and need a straight jacket, I wake up in the middle of the night hyperventilating
0 likes"I have no idea how to get of this rut. Well, I do, it's probably just try harder, isn't it?" is my whole life summed up in two sentences.
1 likeReplies (1)
Lol
0 likesThe way me and dodie relate so much
0 likesI focus on: being alone doesn't mean doing nothing.
0 likesI make things, especially things for other people. I make a hat for my niece and think about the funny things she said on the family holiday.
I sing songs I used to listen to walking in forests back home in NZ.
I make videos about my favourite places and think about when I will be there again.
Give yourself permission to take a few minutes, occasionally, to just "not do anything".
1 likeI know this is compounded with your 'dissociative' illness, so you do you as you know how.
But we don't always have to be 'on' ALL the time so don't beat yourself up about just idling out of gear sometimes. And with this virus changing the way we live for the foreseeable future, there are going to be more times when we want to not have an agenda.
For me, I keep my favorite chat room open onscreen. It's in a forum centered around my favorite hobby and there are two dozen 'regulars' and we're keeping each other sane for now.
Perhaps you can connect with other film makers because you have excellent editing skills in setting a mood and telling a story, even if it only seems like you are recording inner dialog to you. 💖
I literally was thinking about it yesterday under my shower, cause like It's only time where I'm forced to not 'scroll', and it's hard. It's so hard. I'm used to being alone, but this year is just too much. The little time I've used to spend with someone is even more limited and my depression is hitting hard. I'm trying to be kind to myself but it's just...tiring. So thanks dodie for sharing, now I'm at least less lonely in all this I guess.
0 likesI just spiral when I'm alone, I can't help it. I'm quite tired of hearing people telling me that "learning to be alone" is the key to happiness. I've come to the conclusion that I need to be surrounded by the people I love to thrive and I'm quite ok with it. Since I understood that I needed company to function I just managed to live with roomate(s) or a partner, and I plan a shit load of stuff with friends and family (except in 2020, obviously). I think it's ok to dislike being alone, and it' ok to be solitary. Different people, different functioning <3
0 likesWe aren't meant to be this alone!! Humanity make communities and always have... everyone having their own seperate house/room is reletively new... don't blame yourself
0 likesits the complete opposite for me
0 likesi am grateful to be living in a house with 6 family members, but i am never quite alone. yes, i do have a room on my own, but i truly miss when the house gets empty during the weekends; they would each visit their friends or relatives and the house would be completely and beautifully quiet and mine.
now that we’re quarantined, it’s never ever quiet. being an introvert in a huge family is a struggle hhaha
I actually really enjoyed quarantine (I mean even though the reason for it is really bad and sad in most cases because a lot of people have lost someone dear). But the small period of time doing nothing was a much needed break for me. I feel like the past four years have been so busy, the ball has never stop rolling. Every little thing just snowballs into something bigger until it hits a rock on the way down and crumbles. But even after it crumbles, there are still those little remnants on the ground that stick with you. Quarantine was the first time I was given a chance to do literally nothing, and also anything (except go to the grocery store and get some jellybeans.. damn was I craving jellybeans...) Anyways I know this might be an unpopular opinion on a video about being alone and missing human interaction, but I hope others might agree with me. As someone else in the comments said, we trick ourselves into thinking that taking a break is being lazy. But I think we should be more fair to ourselves and I should be more forgiving of myself for taking small breaks to watch youtube videos like this one or read a book or bake for the hell of it even if we run out of all purpose flour and the recipe lied to you and said a cup of vegetable oil would be fine (...true story and the vegetable oil was definitely not fine). I hope someone reads this and has a little aha moment and realizes that they are actually are a great human being who can literally do anything at any point in time. It’s time to stop putting imaginary limitations on ourselves and as cheesy as it sounds, to live in the moment.
0 likesAnyways thanks for coming to my ted talk that was definitely not wanted nor necessary. Have a great day random internet person❤️
Sometimes I only really feel alive is in a hot shower.
0 likesthank you dodie, just thank you
0 likesI rly rly rly love the shirt she's wearing 🥺🥺 literally one of my dream shirts
0 likesI'm 17 and I never felt a good youth. Never had good friends so I just stay alone in my room, wasting my time even I could've been doing so much, I'm scared of rejection
1 likeI’d recommend checking out Florence Given’s insta highlights called ‘Loneliness” where she talked about this exact thing today! 💕
0 likesNot me crying to your video- not in a bad way- I just relate to it
0 likesAwww I love this thank you
0 likesQueens gambit is awesome
0 likesBut I had to let you know that we all here in Russia are dying of laughter about that flight attendant and vodka on breakfast 😂 That’s not how Russia works, guys 😂
man i had a small visit home from school and i have been with my bf every single day for four days and slept next to him those nights, which felt so easy. but rn im laying in my bed, alone, back in school and i can’t sleep my head literally filled with everything and nothing so i went on youtube and got this video recommended. and it feels so weird bc it calls me out this in very specific moment so accurately. thats so weird, are you in my head ? was this a coincidence ?
0 likeswe all deserve a cup of tea <3
0 likesDodie, I love you 💖
0 likesLooking after yourself at the moment can be really, really difficult – but having ups and downs, even those ‘downest’ of downs, is still so perfectly, distinctly human. You should never feel guilty or like you’re going ‘backwards’ whenever those feelings kick in. In some ways, we’re all ‘lonely’ together at the moment; even if there’s nobody there in the flat with you, there are still people in flats and houses across the road from you, or the other side of your kitchen wall, or walking down the street every morning to get their shopping done. Those same people will be waking up on the other side of that wall from you every morning, and going to sleep on the other side of that wall every night. Just because you can’t see the other, complicated, lonely up-and-down people in the world doesn’t mean they aren’t there, and it’s all too easy to feel that you’re alone in how loud your own mind is in your life compared to other people’s. Simply put, it’s ok not to be ok sometimes; it doesn’t make you a ‘failed’ human, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re wasting your life when you’re spending time looking after it. You’re a rockstar, Dodie, in more ways than one; but it’s ok to be one of these flawed ‘human being’ things, too. x
0 likesEDIT: ...and the same goes to anyone else reading this. You're a rockstar too. x
I started vlogging so at least I have a camera to talk to. it's weird. I've been alone a lot in my life, by choice, but now I'd like the option to not be alone smh
0 likesI used to feel guilty for needing people so much to function until my therapist enlightened me by saying “everyone needs people to function. People need people, we live in a society for a reason”. Now I still feel bad, not gonna lie, but not as guilty, so that helped
0 likesI am dyslexic, that will remain true for the rest of my life. I still have to read, write, and do normal adult activities, but it doesn't mean my dyslexia is cured just because I have to muscle through it. It is also true, that I can be annoyed that I can't read nearly as fast as the people around me.
0 likesI see your need for the company to be the same thing. It just is. You can work around it, but that doesn't mean you have to enjoy forcing something you don't want. I suggest, trying to be a little nicer to yourself.
It’s so crazy to me how people can be so different in this!! I cannot relate to any of this AT ALL because I am a huge introvert. The difference between introverts and extroverts is fascinating to me. I genuinely prefer being alone most of the time and I’m very lucky because the quarantine hasn’t bothered me at all. I do need people, I doubt I could go forever without socializing, but I can go a damn good while. I hope you can find some social outlets and still be safe!! Don’t forget to hug your people (safely).
0 likesok so thanks for literally explaining my own self for me
1 likeI too have spent more time with myself and I thought fine then my remote broke even after putting in new batteries and a funny thing happened,. I threw the remote in a bedroom cupboard and started to read again and started a novel.
0 likesOof the depersonalisation thing hit hard, I am doing exactly the same thing. Scroll, scroll, scroll, stop ow hi anxiety and depersonalisation. But yes alone time, going to the toilet at a party, or actually being alone is so different. I almost constantly wear my headphones, to drown out the silence. You are however truelly amazing, you are not only saving lives now being alone. Your music saves peoples soul. I'm not gonna tell you to be kind to yourself, cause you know you should, but give yourself time. And even though this time sucks, it has thaught you things about how you deal with things.
0 likesp.s. I have obsessed with Queen's Gambit. I binged it and now I cant stop scrolling for extra things regarding it. Fuck I even picked up my 14 year old hobby chess.
p.s.s You are amazing
For the first time in my whole life I feel lucky to be a loner who doesn't have many friends or a social group. COVID time isn't really super different to normal life for me (I mean I work from home now and wear a mask and there's a sense of weird fear all the time so it's definitely not normal but I wasn't going to restaurants or concerts or parties before). I wish I could send a little bit of my strange skillset to all of you lonely people. I'll let you know if I figure out how to package it.
0 likesUgh the devil all the time was SO good. It was so weird to A. See Dudley dursey in that role, and B. To hear that perfect high pitched southern/Midwestern preacher voice come out of robert pattinson's face.
0 likesDodie you could make a video every day to talk to us and stuff 👀 i wouldn't say no
0 likes"and the constant facing of *death*" - a fact that has hit me had in the last month
0 likesomg I resonate with this so much
0 likesHello, it’s late where I am, but I’ll type this out before going to bed.
0 likesThere are currently almost 500 comments on this video, so if you, dodie, (to whom this is addressed) don’t see it, that’s okay.
Even if you do, I won’t know. That’s okay.
I will share my thoughts anyways.
Being alone, can truly be awful. I think there are a lot of lonely people people all over the world. People who don’t have anyone right now. I’ve been lonely for a good bit of my life, and would definitely not recommend it. I want to be here for all those people who are lonely.
Not out of pity, mind you. But to improve the lives of others as best I can. To bring smiles and company, because I’ve been there and sometimes can still be lonely like that, and I don’t want anyone else to have to go through that. I am here, for anyone who needs it.
I hope that you will find the strength to continue to take care of yourself. Tea is great, and cocoa too, as winter approaches (in the northern hemisphere)
It can be so hard to do those basic actions of self care, but they’re so worth it. Kindness is quite important, as I’m sure you know. This year is not a waste, the time we spend scrolling or consuming art is not a waste. Those experiences will shape us, and hopefully we’ll be better off in the end. I know it probably doesn’t feel like that now.
I’m struggling too. But life will go on.
And in the meantime, there are people, like me, who are here. Here to listen and engage in conversation and laugh and feel. This world is so beautiful, and something even like a pandemic won’t keep that beauty down.
Taking the time to let yourself think is important, and hella scary. Writing down thoughts in journal or making an audio log can help, just to get them out there.
Even therapy is thankfully still possible, albeit it a much different form.
I hope you’re doing well, despite all of everything. I’m grateful you have tea and friends and music. All beautiful things.
Thank you, dodie, for sharing part of your life with me. You’ve brought comfort to so many, you’ve brought smiles (and tears) to many faces. That’s absolutely beautiful. I’m looking forward to the future, and I hope to see you shine even brighter there.
Thank you for being you, for being so unabashedly human. I love this world, and people like you are exactly part of the reason why. You’re so beautiful, so great. I know it’s hard. But it’s worth it.
It’s worth it because of that beauty, because of beautiful songs and people and skies and food. You have positively impacted my life, and I want to support you in yours as best I can.
And to anyone else reading this, you don’t have to feel lonely *alone*. I’m here, if only to be lonely together. I don’t mind.
Be patient with yourself, and thank you for reading.
art has rlly what’s been keeping me sane. making it and looking on insta at other people improve, ive had little to no motivation to create but when i do it’s TERRIFYING how much i can get done lmaolmao .
0 likesalso hot tea fresh out of the shower listening to asmr falling asleep.... pure serotonin. yes the tea makes it hard to fall asleep... it’s just more time to experience the asmr >:] (so go to bed early pls HAKJDJ)
also realized a lot about my gender and mental health too which is really exciting!! so yea, this year feels less like dates and more like “??? Achievement ??? Here and there????” But it hasn’t been too bad 💞🌺
We're social beeings. Everything we have and everything we are is due to our drive to interact with one another. It's okay to crave company :) and it's okay to suffer from not having any.
0 likesTo me it's kind of crazy that even as a total reclusive hermit, the mood basically everywhere makes me feel lonelier and less motivated to do anything , than usual. And i've not even changed anything about my life and habits beside wearing masks. The oppressiveness of the situation gets to everyone. :/
I'm thinking about the same. We are told so much to be independent, but it's much greater to realize we need other people. I'm still realizing
0 likesBeing alone made me realise that I need to sing more and say sorry less. I love my own company but people are cool and I miss them. I've cried almost every day(happy and sad tears). The one constant that I've dealt with since March has been my UTTER DISGUST at the way I look. It has been the reason for many tears and when I got dumped, I felt that that was the reason. I'm FINALLY changing that!
0 likesBye bye double chin
I have the exact opposite problem lol. I'm so used to being alone, I've been quarantining with my family for eight? months now and I still feel like I haven't gotten used to having people up in my business aLL OF THE TIME (up in my business aka living in the same house as me). it makes me feel like I can't think straight because everyone is always interrupting my thoughts and it's sO DISTRACTING
0 likesfunny how it works, u are an introvert who wants people around more, I am an extrovert who just wants to be back in college in her dorm with her cat and a l o n e
The spacing is the whole reason I game.. It makes me focus on something else than my own thoughts and results in happiness for me.
0 likesDue to chronic pain & chronic fatigue, I haven't been able to work or attend classes, so for about 4 years now I have been home, luckily with my pets, but other than that, alone.
Here and there partners that last for about a year each, but that's fine, I'm ok with this.
Just sometimes it gets tough, but eventually it will all go away, things get better and I just take it day by day, miracles won't just happen, they take time.
Take good care of yourself to whomever reads this, if needed, take a step back, do something that relaxes you and then try again! You got this, I'm proud of you.
I go to university in a city far away from my home and friends and eventhough I have friends here, they dont give me the same kind of comfort I get when I'm around the people I grew up with. Lately I have been feeling really depressed, so I knew nothing better than to distance myself from every living creature I know and right now, realising that that might not be the best idea i cant stop. I spend my days basically not talking to anyone, studying and stressing out about uni. I mean we are currently in a pandemic, so it's kind of smart to isolate for a bit, but...you have to notice warning signs and get active before the loneliness gets to you if that makes sense
0 likesI don't think I've ever seen anyone I relate to more
0 likes36, French, gentleman, and really concerned by love and humanity here, especially by nature and all things who live on this planet <<< ^^
0 likesJoking i'm just alone with that fucking virus ...
Hugs with you doddle O/\O
Let's go for some beautifull, awesome, truthly, rainbows , COVID chords ?
Well try making videos everyday no need to publish them just video diary’s its really therapeutic and it helps filing alone time ❤️❤️❤️❤️
1 likeThis will probably one of many comments in a crowded ocean, but I just wanted to tell you something. The way you communicate with us is, at least for me, incredibly soothing. Your music sparks joy and inspires me to do greater things. Thank you for being you, Dodie! (Sidenote, and also totally not creepy at all: I randomly looked up your birthday one day, and saw that we were born less than two weeks apart!) Cheers from Norway!
0 likesI have been alone a lot this year besides going to work but I have never been able to be in my terrible thoughts. It's hard to be alone even with my family in the house. It's odd for me
0 likesThanks for the music recommendations. I can relate to this video. DM anytime.
0 likesI hate being myself as well. I get so incredibly depressed when I am by myself I even want someone just to coexist with me
0 likesIt's like... do I really enjoy being alone or have I just learned from a very young age to cope with being lonely from my childhood/teenage years? Does my enjoyment of being alone just stem from inescapable and unchosen loneliness, so that's just how I learned to be? ... I've been daydreaming and living in my imagination pretty much constantly these past few months, I know it's not healthy but it just feels so much easier to pretend life is something it's not right now.
0 likesBooks are a great way to pass the time. A great book will give you friends to hang out with. A great book I recommend is Until the End of the World by Sarah Lyons Fleming. It is a book about friends and over coming obstacles that just happens to have zombies. Also, we fans, are on Facebook and it's a great bunch of people who become friends/family.
0 likesI have dp and dr too for 3 years now I guess. I still live with my family (Im 18) yet I am afraid to stay alone for a long time and I cant keep myself from looking at my phone or my tablet or my computer. I feel like that may cause these too idk but anxiety + dp,dr + ocd hits hardddddd
0 likesI mean I know it doesn't matter but you do have people who love you all around even if you don't personally know them yet. And like, if you ever reached out, we would be here to listen and be a helping friend even from afar know that we love you.
0 likesseeing u upload again has been so good 🥺 i love ur videos sm!
0 likesLonliness is just as hard when your with the wrong person... sometimes this isolation we are in, brings out things you didnt know much about ......you mentioned an album by Adrian Langka???? could you send me a link or correct the spelling... I cant find the album and I think it would be nice ... THANK YOU! :)
0 likesim an introvert and at first this all came easy to me. but when quarantine started I was a junior in hs. never in my life would I think that I would miss school. I want to get the hell out of here and never see the ppl i currently go to school with for a long time. I miss them kinda now tho :( I miss all the drama and watching movies during lunch. I miss my walks to and from school with my best friend and the convos we would have on our lil street corner. but I know that this is all worth it to save lives and to prevent the spread of covid. it’s still so saaaaaaaaaddddddd
1 likeI understand. The first step is to go out anywhere a coffee shop or a park or a drive. Even if it’s by yourself it helps.
0 likesYour voice is sooooo soothing
0 likesThis year I'm not more alone than usual and that makes it even worse. Every day more that I'm alone makes me more miserable.
0 likesI tried to escape it for so long and now I just don't have a choice. I feel like I'm going crazy.
Whoever writes the captions: I love you. Thanks.
0 likesThere a lot of things you can still do in lockdown, zoom/video call friends, play games like jackbox or among us, Netflix party is great fun when your in a call with friends, you can still socially distance meet up with 1 other friend at the moment.
0 likesThis made me cry ♥ i feel the same way and think i have SAD but don't want to go to my gp to get medication because I feel like im wasting their time x
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And i was making a cup of tea when you said about tea! Aha, its something to do to fill the time and it's like putting a hug in a cup for yourself x
0 likesDon’t give yourself a hard time about not functioning on your own - we’re social animals we’re NOT SUPPOSED TO AAHHHHHHH
0 likesI loooove being alone more than anyhing. But even for me it's getting too much these days. When the first real lockdown happened where I live, I felt so good about having all this time to myself. But now, half a year later I find myself getting into a bad head space more and more often, whenever I have to work from home. I guess it really is natural for humans to want to be around others. Just in different capacities.
0 likesi think this pandemic is making us all rethink our relationship with others, with ourselves and with loneliness, i've been literally ruminating these thoughts for months. i want to get close to others but i always expect being rejected or saying something embarassing so i try to embrace being an introvert and having "alone time" when in reality if i spend more than 5 minutes in silence i feel so uncomfortable. if i don't enjoy being with myself, how can i expect others to enjoy my company?
0 likesA great quote from G'Kar and Babylon 5 about silence that's always spoken to me..."In here...you cannot hide from yourself."
1 likeWe spend so much time distracting ourselves from ourselves in modern life that when we are finally left facing ourselves, it can be absolutely terrifying.
Having spent so much time in the silence especially of late, I would say that it's really, really difficult at first, but it's increasingly come to be a good place for me, like G'Kar.
The full scene if you want to see it....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQh2C1VRYBM
I'm someone who is alone 99% of the time. I live with my family, I just don't spend much time with them; I cook for myself, eat alone while watching, do stuff alone, go to places cafes, malls, beach, alone. Life to me is at core experienced alone. I know I'm not at the majority side with that.
0 likesBut, that being said, mental stimulus that leads to certain deep essential emotions and mental states, are often exclusive in the long-run and abundant in human connection. I don't have that. And I desperately need it. And with time, and with terrible mental health especially, it sabotages every aspect of your life, even being alone, and doing things you love, alone.
So I don't relate to "being alone is one of the worst feelings", but more than ever, I realize the helpless need for human connection, for someone to be there; it's kind of like eating, you don't have to like to eat or necessarily enjoy it all the time, but you do need it and you feel great when that need is met.
I’m in quarantine because I was exposed at work! I am very frustrated because I’ve been doing a good job: only going to work and school. Many of my peers, being a senior in high school, are being very irresponsible, but I have been exposed. I’ve been locked in my room receiving plates of food at my bedroom door from my mom. It is miserable. I feel ill and I’m not even sick
0 likeshi bab!!! i know u may not see this.. EVER but! i’ve felt extremely anxious for the past two days, possibly the worst amount of anxiety i’ve felt a while, and i’m very glad that you posted this today, right now! you are so amazing, thank u for being such a safe space for me
0 likes3:10
1 likeOkay, that shivered me a lot
I felt all of this so hard crikey
0 likes1:58 I relate to this loool 💕💜
0 likesI knew you were a good singer, I didn't realize how funny you are hahaha.
0 likesHey Dodie, I've grown up with you, as weird as that is to say 'cause you don't know me >.< But you, and your music, and your videos are so relatable, interesting and thoughtful. I'm alone in my free time, but after watching this it does make me realise more that im rarely alone with myself or my thoughts.. I'm alone with FB or youtube or tele.. (brain explosion moment). I like watching USA news too x]
0 likesYou might feel like you're alone rn, but you're connecting with/ reaching out to/ helping more people than you know!
Sending big socially distant hugs, thank you for being you Dodie, and you're not alone in feeling shit if thats any comfort x
i can't explain how much I relate
0 likesOh love that sigh was such a mood
0 likesHear this and a puppy comes to mind. You have time now bring home all the time. Or cat. A dog will give you an task you have to do everyday. Walk, feed, play, wash. Cuddle. Enjoy life.
0 likesI can totally relate!
0 likesGoddamnit every time you post a video I want to give you a stupid huge hug.
0 likesi get the feeling of being alone a lot, maybe last year more than this one but i still feel it. im 19, i have an entire youth to live, yet, i spend the most significant years of my teenage being alone, with not a single friend irl and only interacting with my small family. so, now i constantly live with the question of "will i keep being this lonely for the rest of my life or will it get worse?"
0 likesand i still don't have an answer for that.
but at the end of the day, i have me to spend my whole life with.
and that brings me a tiny little bit of ease.
Living alone in a rural part of a foreign country is also very much not it right now. I expected to have so many adventures moving here last year, but honestly I've never been so alone omg
0 likesDodie youre not a bad person for something you can’t fully control. Its okay, you’re doing your best 💕
0 likesthe devil all the time is such a good movie!! So many turns and the acting is phenomenal and it's just amazinggg
0 likesI’ve never related to a video as much as this one.
0 likesthe most ive been alone actually isn't this year, but two years ago in my first year of uni. I had no friends there and I stopped texting my friends back home. I moved out to dorms but I had no roommate and no one on my floor talked to each other. It was the worst mental health year of my life, and some of the same issues I had then im having again now, but this time I have roommates to snap me out of it. I'm so happy I have them or else this year would've been unbearable
0 likesHowdy,
0 likesI've been a perpetual loner. When I first moved out of my parent's house, I had no friends in the place where I lived, poor social skills, and an unfortunate inability to seek out connection.
Two times in my first year living on my own, I spent an entire week not reaching out to anybody as I had done to keep myself even the barest bit socially engaged online. As a result, I spent two weeks in virtual isolation. I wasn't gainfully employed, I had no friends, and my interactions were limited to baristas whom I made small talk with when ordering food to keep myself out of my shabby one room apartment with no air conditioning which I loved despite its shabbiness and I would walk for 8 hours a day, and listen to music, and search for work, and write.
I cannot express the genuine sense of despair those two weeks, separated by several months, engendered in me. At certain points I thought I would go insane from staring at walls. So I listened to lots of music and kept myself moving. But after both, I'd reach out to people online, normalize a bit, and eventually I found work, and roommates, and moved in with a good friend.
Since then, I've learned that sometimes, that silence holds something in it. Several years after this experience, I was in a mood because I felt disconnected from life, and I felt teary, but I didn't want to cry. I wasn't able to communicate the frustration; there was a wall surrounding my vocal cords and I was foggy and spacy.
My solution was to do something that, to that point, had frightened me mercilessly: sit in my room for 10 minutes, doing nothing. It wasn't like my guided meditations, which had a voice moving me along to my breathing. It was pure, unadulterated silence.
It was the longest ten minutes of my life. Every detail was vivid, and all I could do was feel every part of myself in the worst way imaginable. And, eventually, the tears I had been holding back finally came out and I cried. It wasn't long, and it wasn't brutal, but they came out.
And, when the ten minutes concluded, I felt some kind of release. My body de-tensed and I was back to the moment. In the silence, there was a kind of benediction.
So, my advice to the lonely right now, who have not had to deal with loneliness in the way I have. My advice to you is two fold: sit in silence, and do nothing, for ten minutes, and welcome the void in that time. Practice not judging that hollow center in your gut, or the absolute indifferent quiet. Second, after you've let what feelings sat there to come out, if any, get up, turn on some music, and dance. Or punch the air, or be loud and silly, engage with your body and come to this moment.
It's hard, but it will center you. And I know that seems like meditation, but it's distinct in my mind, and it has helped me endlessly in the years following 2 weeks of total isolation.
Be well, Dodie.
I mean, I don't know anything about this. I live with my family(4 ppl), I go to my aunt(4 ppl) for studying for university [when studying at home, I can't take breaks or relaxe, it's just an instant work-mode], I write all the time with other students or my friends. I don't feel alone. I can do that because I live in Germany and Covid isn't too hard here, even though the lockdown is getting harder again. Nevertheless, I will still not be alone, I still got my family and friends. And the university for staying entertained.
0 likesAlso 2020 is much better for me than 2019, when I was sittingin my own lockdown of a depressive hole and can't doing anything or meeting anyone because of my fcking thoughts. For me, 2020 is really doing better than that.
From what I’ve learned, human’s aren’t meant to be alone. We are made for interaction and knowing each other deeply. We’ve been conditioned to fracture ourselves off into family units, in homes spaced away from each other, not having friendships with our neighbours. It’s hard to live like that. However, this is one of those circumstances where it’s better for us to come together by being apart. We’ll make it through this
0 likesAll of this is a mood tbh
0 likesWeirdly I always think about GCSEs whenever I'm really stressed about stuff, especially if it's new stuff to be stressed about. Let me explaun:
Whenever you're doing GCSEs there's always at least one person in your life that goes "psht wait til you get to A Levels" and it's like... you're telling a stressed out 14 - 16 year old it's only going to get worse? And also invalidating how stressed they are about the thing? And also it's likely the most prolonged period of stress they've faced in their life? Wow. Go you! You achieved nothing with that comment!
But it's an important lesson to take forward: you're stressed about the thing, yes it could be worse, but luckily you haven't experienced worse (yet). So how are you going to manage that stress? How are you going to pace yourself?
Now I say this with such a logical head like hmmm yes this will make everything better but sometimes it's shit and hard to do stuff that you know will make you better. But even if it's one thing like making yourself a cuppa, you done good ❤
Bonus tip: if you set reminders on your phone (or AI dot device thing)
to do REALLY basic tasks it can be super helpful in managing yourself and chores. I have a reminder to shower at 8 on Wednesdays cos I forget until bedtime then I'm sad and grumpy about it, and I'm fairly high functioning on the whole so... 👍
dodie i have a huge piece of advice... listen to podcasts!! seriously it makes such a difference. listen to the receipts podcast it will make you feel a lot better. also get into its trust me they will actually heal your soul.
0 likesSOMEBODY GET THIS WOMAN A CAT 🐱
0 likesim literally here because ive been trying to sleep for an hour and was just faced with my brain telling me i will be by myself for the rest of my life so i opened youtube
0 likesHey dodie, there are more lonely people (like me ;p )out there. greetings from my bedroom😂
0 likesAlso- i've a question. Are u working with a therapist? If no- why?🙈
Love!❄
ahah, okay I feel the same about how brits talk! y'all are very cool
0 likesMy recomendation is listening to Heavyweight. It is a podcast where a Canadian guy called Jonothan Goldstein helps people resolve something from their past (eg: a long lasting fued between brothers, etc). It's such a differant format to most podcasts, because it's filmed over a longer period of time and each episode feels like a little Louis-Theroux-style documentary but in podcast form. The tales often have some twists to them and it feels like you get a really intimate look into people's lives. Worth listening to (avaliable on Spotify and other locations).
0 likesHumans are a social species. Even if we sometimes need to get away from people, we ultimately thrive on human connection.
0 likesIt's not a bug, it's a feature.
It´s hard for the extroverts right now :/ But it will get better again. Now imagine the opposite situation for introverts in the "normal world" where you are normally constantly surrounded by people. It feels the same way most of your life only the other way around
0 likesyou know what they say.
1 likepeople who need people.....are the luckiest people in the world
I'm about three minutes in but it's already got me thinking? I'm about as introvert as you can get. I get overloaded when there's lots of talking, and I can stand about 45 minutes at a gathering with more than ten people at it? And being alone in quarentine (compared to how I spent my time before) has me searching out a dnd game that has over four hour sessions. ...... I get tired after two. Because otherwise, if I don't fill that time, I'm sleeping more of the day away than I should be to escape my own thoughts!
0 likesthis has nothing to do with the video but ur eyebrows look particularly lovely today
1 like"Try harder" is almost always terrible advice; it's completely inactionable. Just try again or try something different 👍 Hang in there!
1 likeok, but I could watch videos of dodie watching videos all day.
0 likesthis video is so important because i feel less lonely... this year has been really difficult for me: i feel like i can't focus in my classes, i feel that my grades should be better because i'm not doing anything else in my life, i couldn't write for about two whole months (writing is my greatest passion), i feel alone after finally making friends last year on college (after a high school of judgment and loneliness) and sometimes i just don't want to get up... i never thought it would happen to me, but yeah...
0 likessorry, i simply know nobody i know will read this and i need to talk... hope everyone is doing fine...
I think Jamie is BananaJamana ❤ 3:18 I love her :) such a sweet soul
0 likesOOOF thinking about spending time on my own.. sounds hard
1 likeI’m watching The Queens Gambit right now! I actually live in Lexington, Kentucky (well I actually just moved a couple months ago for college) where it’s set, so it’s extra fun to watch. I even went to Henry Clay high school where she played her first official chess tournament!
0 likesSuper interesting to hear you talk about this. Your story about living in Bath reminds me of when I lived alone in a tiny flat in Cheltenham when I was at uni. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and remember I was there by myself, knew nobody that lived nearby, and nobody was coming to visit me. It felt so unnatural and I've promised myself to never put myself in a situation like that again. Hope you're doing okay and can be with your pals again soon!
0 likesReplies (1)
<333 sweet babe
1 likei too promised that to myself LOL
i feel like it's a common thing to experience like the shock of the big world after school!! hoping we can aaaall be surrounded by our loveable dumb mates sooooon xxxx
I spent last two years alone. Most of the time. I literally hugged another person maybe 2 times over the last half a year. That’s after coming back from the semester of studying music in the US, finding friends and falling in love there, two years ago. Now this. Not covid. Covid was a blessing for me cause getting out of home was sickening. I kind of regretted some times over the last two years I didn’t kill myself while I still was in the US. And there are no links here in Russia to ask for help. And I wouldn’t trust any “professional” here anyway, I guess. I don’t know, got inspired to complain here. Cause I deserve it, once in a while. Together with that cup of tea.
0 likesTheres so much life in the way Americans talk because we're always fighting each other lmao
0 likesI've been alone for a long time, it totally sucks not to have anyone around and it makes you feel like you are crazy but you arent.
0 likesthough not a huge fan, I have only watched your asmr videos, I realized I should check some of your videos, and I really loved it! Can we also get a new asmr vid 😏?
0 likesloved the editing on this
0 likesthese are the types of videos i found you from. i loved this <3
0 likeseveryone always deserves tea
0 likesI hate this pandemic but I feel fortunate to already live with my family so I don't suffer too much from socializing... but my parents have been fighting more than ever and I wanna leave now but I also don't wanna die...
0 likesu need to do a podcast i could listen to you for hours
0 likesI might live with my boyfriend but I moved so far from home to do so, and I don’t have any friends where I am. I feel so alone all the time. If he goes out I am left with the physical silence to match my inner silence. And I just... I hate it. I can’t enjoy something I avoid so much because my alone means sitting with my demons and I don’t want that
0 likesI don’t think you’re to blame for not being able to be alone with yourself and your thoughts. Our human world is made up of consumerism and distraction so I’m not surprised. I struggled with this too until I moved to the countryside... then you know what being alone really is like then now I prefer my own space? 😂 very strange
0 likesI’m alone too. It SUCKS.
0 likesI’m 24 and feel like my life is being wasted 😢
daily routine consists of hours of scrolling instagram, thinking about getting dressed, going to the kitchen to open the cupboards and stare, dont actually get food, cry and think about kissing girls
0 likesI DONT KNOW HOW TO FEEL HELP. i feel like i just dont remember how to articulate (?) My emotions like i just aaaaaa dont know
0 likesI've been alone at home for all the first quarantine we had here and now it's the same for the second one. F**k everything.
0 likesIm sending hugs, I understand the feeling of being lonely. It completely sucks, and sometimes I miss someone I hate just so that I would have someone to speak with
0 likesI don't want to add another comment to be another centimeter you scroll away - but I really related to sooo much of what you said in this video, you should also recognise the effect you have on everyone else that you aren't aware, I'm constantly inspired by how real you are in your videos and your music - also little things you've done, letting us record vocals on 6/10 I still listen to that back and I'm so proud to be a part of that - when I'm thinking particularly low and lonely these are the exact benchmarks I come back to that make me feel good again - lots of love dodo x
0 likesI've had disassociation for 8 years without a break. Recently I've had no goals and no structure to my days. Sometimes I'm double or even triple screening which is embarrassing. I've been trying for weeks now to fix my sleep so I can wake up with the sun and go outside and live but it's so damn hard. I'm letting down my avocado plant because she's only getting an hour or two of sun a day, I'm too depressed to get up earlier and open the curtains and it's so stupid, I'm making it worse for myself. My whole life I've been so high functioning and now I'm in bed for like 15 hours a day, I go outside maybe once a week and I don't know how to fix it.
0 likeswhat a kind soul :)
0 likesFor me lock down is something I have honestly loved for not so good reasons. 1 being the fact that I literally have no friends and I don't mean I have friends but I just say I don't as a joke I literally mean I have no one and its because I have serious trust issues and I cant speak and I don't know why. but this isn't to say I am completely mute like I can speak but In social situations no matter how hard I try I cant speak which can obviously come across as me just being rude or ignorant which makes me trying to speak even harder but anyway basically being surrounded but alone is one of the worst feelings but just being alone is easier to deal with and 7 months alone and not constantly dealing with judgement has made it easier to grow as a person but theres obviously a limit to how much you can do this alone if that makes sense so in short lock down for me has been good but made me what to be with people more than ever but not even because we've been alone for several months, confusing I know
0 likes(90% of this probably doesn't make sense I haven't re read this it was more of a vent if anything + its 2:00am)
normally don't post comments but had to on this one because if there's anything i learnt during this pandemic it is that i am terrified of being alone and i'm glad i'm not the only one feeling this way LOL
0 likesThis is low-key soft spoken ASMR
0 likesi love this woman
2 likessending you love!💕❤️🌱
0 likesI had the same struggle. And I think there is no way of talking one self out of the needs you have. I need food, I need air and I NEED people. Life IS relationships. Dependence is ok. It does not mean that I am powerless. But in this time limited life I am living right now there are circumstances. And I am not resisting anymore. I recommend you Teal Swan! Resistance are what negative emotions are and following our needs is somehow our life purpose.
0 likesI just finished the queen's gambit and it's so GOOD
0 likesI totally relate. Wow!
0 likesi feel like it’s ironic that the only reason i saw that this was uploaded is bc i’ve been putting videos on while i work on my paper so that it doesn’t feel so lonely in here. ngl i spent most of my childhood alone so it’s only been these last two years at university where i’ve learned the value of being with people all the time... so the pandemic is hitting hard and i haven’t missed myself that much tbh. thankfully i live with my best friend but it still gets hard.
0 likesI also hate being alone, for exactly the same reasons as you (literally, spacing out and all). All my life I've been curious about others, their minds, their ideas, but I was also raised with idealistic unrealistic views of the world that were just not enough for me to make sense of the world [insert christian trauma here] so all of that information was really new to me. I feel a lot, so I need time to process (emotional) information. But that's hard, especially the time when I began uni, felt super down and didn't know why...
0 likesLuckily you have >>> distracting yourself from your own thoughts! <<<. University is the best place for it! You have student groups, game-nights, talks till 4 am and summer sporting days all around!
So, when I finished uni heartbroken, have been workless for a year in a pandemic, and got a burn-out, I - was shocked! Frustrated! Confused! WHY would I have a burn-out?
Of course it all makes a lot of sense. Cause even when I am alone, I am not alone. I rarely connected with myself, enjoy time with myself. Actually, I am checking my phone all the time or I am busy planning my next appointment. Always open and connected to another possible plans. Never actually connecting to myself, resting.
I've been trying to change this around, but since its 7 years in the making, you can imagine it's a tat difficult. I have written myself a letter that this month, it's the 'month of me'. My priorities are my daily routine (working on ME stuff from 10 to 1), sports (get that good endorphins), taking REAL me-time (someone hide my phone?) and visualising a STOP sign every time I experience fear of missing out and think "but others wil think/others will not reach out to me anymore".
You were talking about 'trying harder' but don't bash yourself up about it. If any, you need to love yourself more. Like when you see a friend sabotaging herself in some way. Be there for her, but be kind to her. I'm trying routine, sports, and connecting to myself. I hope it works, and I hope you will find something that works for you <3 Thank you so much for this video!
2:20 made me feel so weird- that you think it’s terrible to want to be around people and feel like you need them. i’m very introverted and would much rather be by myself than with other people. i always thought THAT was terrible. i grew up being taught that you make friends, you hang out with them, and you like it because humans are inherently a social species. so i always felt so awful and bad that i’d rather not hang out with my friends for weeks on end because i just feel way more comfortable being by myself. i wished i would be more like people like you, who actually like being around others and feel better because of it. and your next statement made me wonder, too- should we just accept who we are? and be okay with needing to be needy or isolated? or is it better to find a middle ground?? is there something wrong with us??? is there some sort of humanly accepted goal of sociability to reach????
0 likesi completely understand because i have separation anxiety and abandonment issues, i do value alone time because i can get drained from social interactions even if i’m having fun but i’m so ALONE that it’s draining now and it’s not going to be different for so many more months because no one in utah will stay in or social distance. which makes me feel shitty because i’m putting myself through this pain to not harm other people but they are being so selfish and obviously don’t care about my life... AAAAAACCCCCCCCGHGGHHHHHH
2 likesI can't deal with this good video quality! xD
0 likesHer top is visually pleasing, gives me this sense of freedom, flowy vibes.
0 likesTake 10 minutes and put some alarms on your phone at the appropriate intervals to wake up, get out of bed, drink water, move about, eat fruit, bible study, make dinner, get into bed, go to sleep et cetera. this is helping me otherwise I have no routine neither do I know what the time is.
0 likesAmerican fan here! In response to time 4:54 or around there in regards to how we speak, I can say from my own experiences that we are also intrigued by british news and the way you all speak as well. just wanted to give you that fun fact. bye.
0 likesyou shouldn't feel bad about feeling like you need people!!! humans are naturally social creatures, and being this alone is not what we're used to so of course it's uncomfortable. before this all kicked off, i accidentally spent 6 months as basically a hermit, and that period of time sucked for a lot of reasons, but by the end of it i began to learn how to better be alone. the key thing (for me, at least) was finding ways to spend that alone time that a) aren't work/aren't stress-inducing, and b) aren't things that are just made to pass time (i.e., scrolling, sleeping, etc.). watching a movie is a great example of that actually because although it's a passive activity, it's engaging in a way that social media isn't. some other things that i've found that are nice for me are colouring while listening to a podcast, doing some quick yoga, messing around on an instrument with no goal in mind, cooking a simple but nice meal, and dancing around my living room. doing things that are creative/fun and that have no pressure behind them is not unproductive because they allow us to recharge in a healthy way and thus lead to better productivity later. don't be too hard on yourself.
1 likei literally felt so lonely today cause no one reached out to me UM is this a sign.
0 likesthank you.. this year has fucked me up but at the same time has changed me. Last year I moved to the Czech Republic (from Latin America) and... well... I've been incredibly alone and lonely. I've spent months without talking to people face to face. And I couldn't travel to see my family because of covid, so I haven't seen them in more than a year. Yeah, it's weird. But I think I'm better at being alone now...
0 likesi'm pretty used to being alone. not much has changed in my routine as i don't really enjoy being around people that much in general. but i, too, get lonely, especially in this trying times of CONSTANT isolation. but i suppose it's mainly the thought that the feeling of discomfort it gives me is BAD. but i was able to understand that it's mostly me thinking it's bad rather than IT is bad. i was reminded that all feelings of discomfort is a chance to practice virtues and grow as a person. reading has helped me a ton and i would recommend it. :)
0 likesHumanity is based around connection!! it makes sense that you and all of us are losing our minds because we miss people ya know? like introverts still like company just a certain kind and without it everything's kinda..... sad. miss people a bunch man :/
0 likesdid anyone else distance themselves emotionally from people? i think i particularly noticed it during the october half term, we’d been at school and it was so much nicer than it had been last year, and people were happier and kinder and i was so much less sad and suddenly it was the holiday and this overwhelming fear overtook me: you wont see them again. not for a while, you’ll go into lockdown and all this progress you’ve made is going to be lost.
0 likesthankfully i talked about it with others and am no longer as afraid but yeah, i have a much better situation than you, dodie, but i do also get it. it’s not just being alone, it’s feeling lonely even when there’s people there.
omg this is very much what im experiencing rn what a bad time
0 likesI love your voice
0 likesHumans are social creatures. And for my fellow introverts I'm not talking about nightclubs or parties or crowded places, just plain old talking to someone else. We thrive as humans off communication, socialization and just being together. You don't have to find alone time easy, and a lot of it can be really hard for your brain!! So to whoever is reading, this pandemic is making us spend a lot of time alone, so don't beat yourself up about using social media or being on your phone to chat to friends. Because for some, social media is all the 'social' we have left. Don't beat yourself up.
0 likeshow dare you introduce me to adrianne lenker at a time like this
0 likesAlso I am mentally sending you love and that makes me feel better than I would if I wasn’t so thank you.
Replies (1)
hahahah <3333
0 likesMy depersonalization and derealization has gotten so so bad during these lockdowns, I feel like I haven't been present for forever, I need good adrenaline that's not panic, I need to go on a rollercoaster or go to a concert and go out at night just to jump around to music, and it's all I can think of that would help me
0 likesfirst! dodie i love you and can totally relate. but that part..
1 like“ahhhhh”
“ahhhhhh”
“ahhhhhhhhh”
“ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
i make a cup of tea literally every hour dodie it’s not just u
0 likesDo you really want to learn how to be ok internally, no matter what's going on around you? You can learn how to master your consciousness (including what and how and how much you think, along with conscious choice about how you act and react to everything that you experience) and control the course of your internal and external life, but most people don't really want to do anything about it. They just want to complain about how bad things are. You are so beautiful and sensitive and creative; I hate seeing you torture yourself.
0 likesYou might try a 10-day Vipassana meditation course to learn how to be ok with being alone. You won’t actually be alone during the course, but the participants observe Noble Silence and don’t interact with each other. The point is, you will learn everything you need to know about meditating and being ok with yourself. ❤️
0 likesi think there's a weird pressure that we're meant to be totally comfortable on our own, but it's definitely not normal to be alone as much as people are right now ! it's totally okay to feel weird and sad and like ur 'failing' at being on ur own or something because one of the most fundamentally human things is to need and want to be around other people. i don't think anybody wants to feel lonely.
0 likesyes! watching a movie because it feels better than doing nothing although you're still doing nothing
0 likesFeeling called out because I’m definitely watching this I’m the background...
0 likesMore Dodie Dots!!
0 likesbones are lonely but tea is warm and nice :D
0 likesI have an identical twin sister and I'm basically the cause of her personalization so... that makes me feel real bad bc were really close
0 likesGood Lord this is relatable
0 likesyou like being alone, but you don't fancy feeling lonely
0 likesThere's a mod u can download on the sims called a slice of life where ur sims get significantly more human problems like periods, social issues etc but yh one of the makeup options that comes with this mod dodie dots and also yh me playing sims is how I deal with depersonalisation LOL
0 likesI used to play the Sims as a kid, and I understood that people needed social interaction in life. When my Sims used to die from isolation when I was grinding skills, I used to think it was an overreaction. Having lived the past year isolating as much as possible, I now unfortunately understand that I was wrong on a crazy level.
0 likesI'm so sick of this existence, as soon as this is over I'm going to overdose on family and friends
Devil all the time and queen's gambit both 10/10
0 likesI think I'm a better person for spending a lot of time alone. I have a better sense of myself. I find it easier to be around others. When with others, I now value and spend more time in the moment; vs before, where I spent more time figuring out how I fit into the space of the moment(s).
0 likesI think you'll do alright.
So funny to me what you said about how us Americans talk, because personally I cant get enough of your accent lol
0 likesWe as people are natually social - it's how we survive, by making connections and spending time with people we trust. It's biological. So it's ok to not be great at being alone - that being said, but it's important to address the pain. But it takes time and self love, and we can't constantly be putting ourselves in a painful situation, so it's ok to avoid the pain a bit too. All of it in moderation, I guess. Thanks for making this, you're wonderful, thank you for physically distancing from others too ♡♡
0 likesno
0 likeslisten
of course it’s hard being alone, especially now. We’ve all been alone for almost a year. It goes completely against human nature to never socialise and be so isolated. It’s particularly hard to be alone with yourself now because we don’t know how long it will last for. We don’t know when this weird purgatory world will end. But it reiterates my point- why are we beating ourselves up for not liking being alone, not being productive enough because we scrolled on our phones or watched a film or lazed about - we are confined to our homes. We are surviving and we have to do the things that make us the happiest because literally now more than ever life can be taken in seconds with no warning. It reminds me of when I was a child and if I had a friend stay for a sleepover, we’d get sucked into something we were playing and spend the entire day doing that and never had time for the list of things we’d planned. I’d be sick with guilt afterwards but my mom would stop me and say, no, did you have fun? And of course I did. So no, it wasn’t a waste of time.
I am my own worst critic so I know all too well how it feels to essentially deem yourself worthless because you didn’t tick off everything on your mental list. My mental health has been absolutely awful throughout this year as my number one fear is being trapped, and trapped is what I am. So while I have been trapped I’ve been watching more tv, watching more films, lazing about a bit more, scrolling on my phone, and I shouldn’t have to feel guilty for that. I shouldn’t have to justify why I cannot be with my mentally ill mind 24/7. I love myself most of the time. I have future goals and hopes and plans. I have hobbies and a couple good friends and I’m not a one trick player. I’ve been through immense pain and I’m always gonna have that in my past. And I’m a massive introvert who enjoys alone time and spending time with myself, but not all the time. And that’s not a bad thing. I’m not a bad person for that. I’m a human being. And I’m tired of people deciding what does and what doesn’t make you good or bad or toxic or cancelled or iconic or all these overused words. Dodie, for gods sake just let yourself exist. Everybody has something that knocks them so they keep it away, and that’s not a bad thing. It ‘s just human. And being human isn’t bad.
Sending love <3
0 likesyou dont know how much i needed this
0 likesI don’t think I’ve ever related to a video so much.
1 likeWe are literally not designed to be alone as a species. Even the introverts among us are designed to be part of a tribe. We are less than 100 years away from the societal norm for centuries/millennia of multi-generational homes. Western life has completely upended within the lifetime of one generation.
0 likesIm not quite sure this is great advice, but I guess it helps me so... I’ll sit in front of my mirror and just look at myself until it’s like I’m not me anymore. Then I start telling my mirror self like “screw you I don’t care what you think I’m going to do better than you”. It really stems back to the idea that you’re the one and only person you’re competing with. Then, if I see myself in the mirror looking sad, or sleep deprived, or sick, or whatever, I just... try to do better. I dunno I kinda suck at advice 😭😅
0 likesWell you just described basically what my last week has been... Listening to '40s music, watching movies I've been meaning to watch, watching the Queen's Gambit...
0 likesI think at this point I'm getting bored of my thoughts. I spend a lot of time with them as it is, and I've kinda stopped creating new ones, so... Yeah, just boring now.
I keep having to come up with new ways to entertain myself. But I do think this will have been hugely character building once we're out on the other side of it.
Random question- what camera do you use?
0 likes(Incase she doesn't see this, does anyone else know?😂)
i truly don't think anyone can be alone for super long like that, something my mom said really hit home the other day...
0 likesWe are "inter-dependant".. what she meant by this is that everything in the whole world depends on something else - the plants depend on sun and water and stuff yknow idk gimme some more examples if you want :) but basically like being w folks and asking for help is okay my friend!
just a reminder if you forgot today, You are valid and worthy of love and you deserve the best (yes even if that little mean head voice didn't agree < 3)
humans are meant to live in communities. You shouldn’t confuse that need with codependency. it’s only when we get into toxic friendships and relationships that these communities can hurt us. Other than that community is one of the most beautiful things a human can be a part of. Don’t worry this soon will pass:) use this time to learn what you need and then when you can have it again, grab it, enjoy it and love it. Don’t be frightened of it’s hold over you. love to you my one sided friend.
0 likesyou are a comfort person for me
0 likesYES I need to watch more movies and shit bc at least I’d have fun doing nothing. But yeah I have all the time in the world to get my life together anddddd I can’t
0 likesI have always spent a lot of time alone. When I went to high school it was the whole afternoon, with entire vacations sitting at home while my parents were at work. Now, I've spent an entire year with company only at night and during weekends. It sucks. A lot. It makes you unproductive and it screws up your sleep.
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What helps: music, coffee, games, and routines. At least for me.
0 likesTHANK YOU FOR THE MUSIC RECS <3
0 likesstarted uni this year and have felt the lonliest that I ever have and honestly do not know how to handle it
0 likesShould check out Andrea Dorfman's How To Be Alone. Not perfectly applicable in a pandemic, but it's still beautiful.
0 likesCould you maybe get a cat? I know that’s always something you’ve wanted...maybe now Is the time to really consider it. I know for a lot of people having something else to care for forces you to stay alive.
0 likesBut also...I lived alone in college and it was so isolating. I am an introvert but even people have a breaking point at being alone. You’re allowed to need people Dodie.
“Oh...I’m so...Human. We’re just Human.”
We are tribal animals and social creatures we literally need other people to survive emotionally
0 likesImagine being extroverted hahahaha couldn’t be me
0 likesI, an introvert during these times of isolation with a big family, learnt to appreciate time alone bc it is so ✨limited✨
1 likeIt sucks, but I tell myself the same reason you do
0 likesI'm in finals period now so that helps, because I tend to lock myself up in my room trying to study
I realised ytd that I forgot how one of my flatmate looks like... I can't fully recall her face... We haven't talked for abt 2 months now bc of a fight (or some) and it's startling how quick people leave your life?
Holding a warm drink in your hands mimics a hug in your brain.
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Awww
1 likeYou post this when the past two weeks I have had my family trust destroyed, and my bf broke up with me :,]
0 likesI also spend a lot of time alone but not alone. I've always been rather bad at making/keeping friends for a variety of reasons, and so I spent a lot of time alone as a kid. Not always physically alone, but almost always feeling alone. Anyway, I think because I got used to spending a lot of time alone, I also learned how to distract myself from that, thus my love for the internet. Sometimes I feel awful for choosing to distract myself much of the time, but no distractions (positive or otherwise) tend to just make me feel terrible. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that, while living your whole life distracted is probably not good, I think it's okay to sometimes decide that a distraction that allows you to feel okay for a while is better than feeling stuck all the time without one. Also this video was comforting, so ty very much dodie <3
0 likesI really don't think there's anything wrong with needing people, everyone needs people and it is silly in my opinion to deny that and to think that anyone should be able to do everything themselves
0 likesI like being by myself.... Meaning not around humans. I need animals. The absolutely worse time mentally was when I lived alone and had no animals. I need a kitty or pupper to stay safe and sane
0 likesI have enjoyed quarantine to the point where I don’t actually think I actually need people much at all (which has its own issues!) Admittedly, I am living with my bf, so not 100% the same. But I have seen one and only one friend twice since March and that’s been more than enough.
0 likesUnlike that vlogger though, I am not reflective and I don’t learn Jack about myself and I’m perfectly satisfied with that.
In my lifetime, I have had bouts of depression and during these times, I get so fixated on my purpose in life (or lack thereof), demanding to know the meaning of life (or lack thereof), whether I’m reaching my potential or squandering my life etc, that honestly, I’m pretty content with my periods of oblivious and unquestioning tendencies. And weird and maybe hot take, but there is no obligation to learn about yourself. There is no need to constantly progress. There is okayness in static living.
You are definitetly not alone in this..
1 likeIs is good and normal and healthy to need and crave human contact 💚💚💚 love from Australia I live with someone and only didn't have a job for like 3 weeks and even that tiny tiny stint was a Struggle
0 likesSuper important message this. It shouldn’t be surprising that people need other people, as people give one reason. I mean the entirety of human endeavour is defined by collaboration. But its a fact massively overlooked in modern culture this constant “self-improvement” narrative going on this last year.
0 likesSimilar fashion to the story here, years ago in my mid-20s I accidentally found my self-isolated depths the British countryside, where I discovered the most stressful thing to do to a human is to isolate one. But not realising this at first I quickly deteriorated to a mess that took me years to crawl out of. Solitary confinement IS torture! Thanks to the lessons I learned then I’ve been keeping on the strait and narrow this year, but its taken real metal effort and the love of my partner. So just wanted to say into the ether don’t be so harsh on one's self, enjoy life's small joys and achievements on a daily basis, so look out for all that pointless and harmful the circular thinking. Here to being as healthy as possible in 2021 :)
If you like the Pied Pipers you’ll love the Ink spots and the Platters
1 likeYou have a beautiful face and your hair is always messy🤗 cute .. sorry if its not related to the video but yeah🤭
0 likesAdrienne Lenker's new albums are STUNNING
0 likesI am Not Entertained by how relevant this still is TWO MONTHS LATER :)))))))
1 likeyou’re incredible
0 likesI think the whole notion that "If you can't be alone with yourself, why would anyone else want to?" sounds profound but is really very wrong.
0 likesFirst we are always our harshest critics. You know how much you dislike things about yourself but other people don't think about that detail of yourself very much at all and sometimes they actually love that thing about you. We need to be together with other people to be happy. Obviously right now that is difficult, but you can meet up and go for walks outside especially with your bubble. The hard part is taking the step to make plans with people when there's so little to do, and sticking to the plans when you're feeling bad by the time they roll around. If you (dodie or anyone else reading this) need someone to chat with or go for a walk with in London because you're alone and miss that camaraderie of friends, send me a message :)
It’s completely normal to want to be around people. Yes we all want some alone time which is good. However, we all need other people.
0 likesi think being alone can be a luxury (not to say that dodies not being greatful or anything, being alone when you don’t do well being alone and don’t wanna be alone is not a feeling i enjoy as well) but when you have a dysfunctional family that you’ve been locked away with it just sometimes makes you take the long bus home
0 likesI dissociate too, and hate being alone. If I'm alone and spaced out I do not feel safe. There's patches of time in my life where I don't know what I was doing and that terrifies me. It's so much easier to be with someone and stay busy
0 likesThe way I cackled at 1:00-1:10
0 likesi feel this so so hard dodie i love u sm :( not to shamless plug but i made a song during q-tine about my mental health that was super cathartic (dodie's been a big inspo!!!) if anyone's curious here it is: https://youtu.be/Vnqh8aSB0ro
0 likesI have DDNOS (Dissociative Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified) and, oddly, being a loner is my default state despite that. I withdraw to resolve my feelings with myself. However, I depend on frequent interactive experiences with the world to stay lively and to generate thoughts that I then take home to work into art. Therefore, self-isolation makes my symptoms worse. I lose entire days to the blur, operating on what feels like one brain cell sometimes. There's a difference between being alone and getting lonely, and even people who are predominantly introverts will feel the effect of this, as it's not a self-informed decision of 'well I need my own space and time right now'. That said, having ~quality alone time~ in this context is hard to achieve, too. I suppose that, as long as the plague lasts, that will be true regardless of whether we all learn to abandon our phones or not. The phone has become a potent, sedative pacifier, but it's a symptom rather than the cause, and perhaps we need the distraction and half-contact we can squeeze out of it right now.
0 likesyeah sure, i have lots of people i call my friends, but i only have 2 people that i consistently talk to and who (i hope) think of me as their close friends (one of which is my sister). but they both actually have a lot of friends- people they face time and text and keep in contact with every day and... i don't think i'll ever have that. this has become so incredibly clear to me over the course of this pandemic and it's kind of making me go insane!!! i know i'm young and i have a lot to learn and will have more opportunities to meet people and make friends and stuff, but it's really really hard to envision that when it's never been a reality for me, especially since it's only something i ever see on other people's instagrams and in books and movies :/
0 likesI know this isn't the point of the video and I'm sorry but what mic are you using for this audio? It sounds so good!
0 likeswe are social creatures it’s human nature
0 likesi was just thinking about this! quite strange but thank you for talking about it
0 likesSame place I'm at... It doesn't help that it's cold and gray out. Makes me at 70 feel cold and gray inside.
0 likesthenks for making me feel less alone. woops :)
0 likesIf I'm being honest, I feel like I'm wasting my life, but I just have no energy. I've lost passion for all forms of creativity lately. I go days without talking to people that aren't my family which, as it turns out, is very bad for my anxiety because I was doing good for the first time in years right before quarantine. But I'm so lucky to have good people in my life who try their best to understand why I'm distant at times. I hope everyone is doing okay and I'm always here if anyone needs to talk. ♥️
0 likesTo get off my phone it helps me to picture on the other side of the screen a rich tech bro being smug that im staying on. I know it shouldnt but yeah
0 likesdodie your hair is so long it's gorgeous
0 likesim always alone on my phone and my thoughts
0 likesAnyone having a tough time, particularly in being able to switch off that little constant voice, then i find alan watts lectures to be very comforting. On a base level he has a soothing voice and an engaging way of speaking but his philosophy and the way he presents it is very intriguing and simple to understand, process and then apply to your own situation. Especially his thoughts on the mind, removing the veil of reality, death and the nature of consciousness. I find that it has helped me see clearly, and deal with these topics that generally weigh quite heavily on my depers, depression and anxiety. Take care kids
0 likesYou have very long fingers
0 likesAlso I think you and my wife would get on well for oddly different reasons
I would make you a cup of tea if I could
0 likesI just got married and moved cross country to a brand new city with my husband. But he also started a job where he works 14+ hours a day 6 days a week. Last night he came home at 1am. I’m away from my family for the first time in my life. I’m grateful my husband is at least in the same bed with me every night, but sometimes the hours alone are so crushing all I can do is cry. The only consolation is that I know much of the world is going through it with me right now. This too shall pass, however infinite it may feel.
0 likesYoure amazing 😆
0 likes“i have depersonalisation-“ “REALLY? YOU NEVER MENTIONED-“ sent me
0 likes"even my bones feel lonely"
0 likesI watched the queen's gambit in 1 day and I didn't learn anything about chess but since then I wanted to learn it.
0 likes‘even my bones are lonely’ oh my
1 like"even my bones feel lonely" ugH youR woRdS
0 likesi am so late with this but i was rewatching some videos and holy hell your top is so cute!! dodie where did u get it oml
1 likecan i just say your eyeliner looks great haha
0 likeseven my bones feel lonely.... wow. ouch i-
0 likeswe know all our dark embarrassing disappointing secrets so its kinda hard to truly be with ourselves without distractions. we avoid the people that make us deal with their dark side. ppl that we are friends with are usually the ones that do well in containing their demons so they would atleast not diametrically oppose to our sense of being. its normal to be worked up by the blatant dark side in ourselves. may be this is what being enlightened means, to see/create the light that we can appreciate in ourselves. learning to be our own good friend, knowing everything that we have already known, and everything we have yet to know.
0 likesYou are un-creatively very creative, like fly without wings & walk without feet & that's cool ... what is a difference shared as insights before 40-50 years ago by mystic & crazy master osho on loneliness & aloneness , you can easily find on YouTube only..... take care & keep rockin ya ....
0 likesHumans are social animals, we’re meant to live and work in groups. We don’t have claws or sharp teeth, but we have each other, and that’s why loneliness is so detrimental to our health. Feelings of loneliness aren’t superficial, they’re supposed to signal your body that something is wrong and you need to fix it - it is literally the same response as hunger. So asking millions of people to self-isolate is the hardest thing ever, because we’re not supposed to be alone, but it’s the right thing to do at the moment, so we don’t have much of a choice. It sucks.
0 likesno man is an island. we need others. we are social creatures.
0 likesDear Madam ,
0 likesplease: just walk into a church of the plain where You , dear Madam , are living onto.
Best Regards from a humble fan of JC
Humans literally evolved to need other humans. We were not made to be completely alone, because hundreds of thousands of years ago a human on their own didn’t survive. So needing other humans is literally in our DNA. And now when we can’t see people irl, we cling to other things to trick ourselves into thinking we’re not alone. So scroll, scroll, scroll away.
0 likesI'm alone quite a lot. Even when I'm with people I'm still alone sometimes. Not especially out of choice, I'm just bad at socialising. I'm fine with this for the majority of the time, but sometimes it really is just too much time alone with your thoughts.
0 likesWhat I would suggest, when you have too much time to think, try not thinking about yourself. The thoughts I have that make me feel bad are all about me and my life in the future. For me I think about philosophy, languages, biology and nature and physics, as these are all things which interest me. Absorb your whole day into learning or thinking about a topic and time will go more quickly. Plus you won't feel like you've wasted time. I also think about what I can do for my friends, gifts for birthdays and Christmas, charities that I should/want to donate to. If you can, go out into nature. Woodland is always my favourite. It's never completely silent in there, you can hear all the life and, depending on where you are, you will see people. It can also be beautiful and a little bit of photography is nice, though I'm not very good.
Sleep can be more difficult cus it's not about trying but relaxing. I have to tell myself to switch my brain off, no more thinking. I imagine myself sleeping in a hut in the woods, where it's calm and peaceful.
I'm good with entirely alone. Also good with people snuggly close. I am NOT GOOD AT ALL with this intermediate distance, where you can't go anywhere without somebody else being just out of understandable ear-reach! That part of your brain which deciphers human sounds to write-down-able words, well, mine is the same kind of sore that an allergic nose gets, being wiped and blown and dried and wet and prodded and held and... And.
0 likesSo exhausted. So bloody raisin-skinned-like-a-too-long-and-too-hot-soak, and at the same time *parched*.
=.=
i love u dodie <33
0 likesHonestly there is nothing wrong with you. For me, first UK lockdown was the most lonely I've ever felt. I tend to have obsessive and overthinky thoughts so I relate to thinking those unhealthily thoughts much more when you're alone/don't have much to keep you busy/feel lonely and sad. It did give me time to be away from romantic situations that were making me deeply saaad and I was having much trouble letting go of (so being away from those people and not being able to see them helped). And I suppose it's good to learn ways of coping with times when we feel lonely, coz its soooo natural and will probably happen at some point again. But that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you for finding loneliness hard. The weird thing is that so many people feel lonely, so most people you reach out to when you are lonely will TOTALLY GET IT and be understanding and lovely <3 Thank god for tech in a way - music, podcasts etc like you say remove the silence. Anyway thank you for this video People feeling lonely, you're feelings are valid and we care about you <3
0 likesI know its hard. It sucks! But we gotta learn how to enjoy ourselves, enough to not depend the "fun" on other people.
0 likesNot moving out of my parents house because I don’t want to live alone...
0 likesi'm 18 and still living at home (with my very large family) while i finish school, so it's very weird to think that people just... live alone. it's something that i think that i really want, but i'm unsure of how it would actually effect me. the idea of freedom, and being able to have some actual peace and quiet it very pleasant. but, given my mental state i think it would stop being cool pretty quickly. lol
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as much as my family's been through, and as many problems as i still have with some of them, i've always had immediate company in some way, my whole life. thinking about adapting to 24/7 alone time is very interesting and also scary
0 likesIf you want a good movie to feel like your with people watch a movie called Slacker. It's from 1990 or 91.
0 likesWhen all else fails, tea
0 likesI get what you're saying, but being alone is really an illusion. We truly are one, in that we are all expressions of the same consciousness. The consciousness that's behind my eyes is the very same consciousness that's behind your eyes. It's just expressed differently in me than in you. The theoretical knowledge of this is of limited value, but you can, in practice, experience oneness with the source of all being and experience connection with all things. There is still a difference between being in close proximity to others or not, but it's not that much of a difference. The main thing is that there is no more experience of being alone.
0 likesdamn, that's a much nicer take on americans than i'm used to
0 likesI think as humans we are designed FOR community and friendship! I don’t think we have to try extra hard to enjoy being alone. Yes it’s good sometimes to take a minute for yourself, self reflection blah blah... but you might just be a people person.. and that’s okay!!
0 likeswhy why why whyyyyy is our society so obsessed by individualism that we have convinced everyone that they are supposed to not need anybody else? yes it is important to think for yourself so that you can take responsibility for your own actions and live according to what you believe but when on in the whole of human history has it ever been desirable to not need other people? why do we talk about not being able to be alone as some kind of weakness or deficiency? we are tribal animals so of course it doesn't feel natural to suddenly be completely deserted and it's an evolutionary necessity that it makes us feel vulnerable so we remember to go look for our tribe again, and feeling shit about being alone has nothing to do with how internally weak you are, if anything it should be a nice reminder that your life has meaning because people usually are the best source of meaning once you've accepted that the universe has no inherent meaning and that you therefore may as well just celebrate the fact of being alive with other people who are also alive and try and make their experience of being alive better.
1 likeI never write comments on youtube but I had to reply to this because it makes me sad to see so many people I know thinking they have failed at something just because being alone is making them suffer a lot.
If you enjoy having the news on in the background, check out NPR!
0 likesits v hard, theres a book called how to break up with your phone thats helpful and teaches how to have a healthy relationship with phones. I need it again cause I've started having an unhealthy relationship with my phone again
0 likesthis didn't have to be so LOUD
0 likesSide note your eyeliner is amazing
0 likesI just wanted to say thank you.
0 likes"even my bones are lonely"
0 likesthe way that Americans talk
0 likes~～～～～～(ツ)～～～～～~
i feel this.
I hate being alone bc then all the scary thoughts attack me but I am too dependent on ppl & I need to learn to be alone to get to know myself more. I’m way too influenced by others and now idk who I rlly am. And I need to deal with my scary thoughts by myself cuz I can’t keep burdening my sisters every time I feel bad :(
0 likesFirst thing is switch off your devices and stop looking at the internet. Then eat well and get out in daylight everyday.
0 likesI WILL GLADLY TALK ABOUT THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT WITH YOU-
0 likesThis is perhaps why I've been playing so much Pokemon Go lately. (P.S. I recommend it! It may not be 'hip' any more, but the little creatures are cute and it's fun to collect them). Gives me a reason to go out and get some fresh air, too
0 likesdodie!!! how would u feel about covering a song from taylor swift's album folklore ??? that would be a DREAM COME TRUEEEE
0 likesI don't think it's a bad thing to need people. Yes, you will have to learn to be okay by yourself, but I don't think you need to like it. I'm shit at being alone too, but I know if i had to be alone, I'd be fine.
0 likesLots of love!!!!
0 likesWe are social beings!!!!!!!!!!!
0 likesoh how i miss dodie concerts
0 likesAfter 1:46 I had to pause the video because it got way too real
0 likesthis is such a veda style video i love it i miss veda
0 likesaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa after the arms unfolding thing i'm fucking paranoid when dodie starts singing jhsfakj,ag
0 likesDay dream is good for creativity 🙂
0 likesI think there can be a sense that to be an "adult" or to be a "full" human you need to be alone unless you are partnered but I think that this is bullshit. This is why group houses/Co-ops/Kibbutzes etc exist. If you want to live alone and that is what is good for you do it! But if you find it doesn't make you happy don't force yourself to "try harder" I will live in community my whole life and I am excited by that. My roommates are amazing and we work as a team well.
0 likesis ‘i’m sad and tea is warm and nice’ the 2020 version of ‘pasta is good, life is sad’?😏
0 likesQueen's Gambit is based off a book. As always the book is better, but the show is brilliant as well. I reccomend reading the book then watching the series.
0 likesThis video is a whooole mood
0 likesI truly suck at being alone yet bc I get very low yet at the same time people drain my energy and I wish to be alone when I’m not. I make no sense. I guess it’s just a life long suckage of being a human.
0 likesThe queens gambit is AMAZING
0 likesit was NOT a good idea to watch this while drunk
0 likes(I haven’t watched the video yet but I first have to ask: where is the jumper from I’m in love?????)
0 likesI missed these types of videos😊
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P.s. being alone is the worst, i also hate distracting myself with useless tasks, but whatever we need to do to get through the day is worth it
0 likesFelt that sigh
0 likesoh, are we... more expressive talkers than Brits are? 🤔 hunh. Neat.
0 likesYou should probably suspend all of your social media accounts for a while and reduce the noise in your head, which prevents you from organising your life. You are all over the place. Good luck 😉
0 likesI decided to learn chess a little bit. I can now easily beat all my friends but I am not on a club level yet.
0 likesi love u sm dodie so so much
0 likes"I'm wasting my young years". Sorry; that was somebody else.
0 likesthe way you feel about how Americans talk is how we feel about how you talk! ahhhhh lets trade :)
0 likesLots of us are alone right now. I don't hate it yet, 'course it has only been a year yet. But once we have all been through this for 2+ years, that will break a lot of us. :/
0 likesalso i can’t really relate to that need to do work, because i have the exact opposite problem. i have taken the mantra “live every day like its your last” way too literally and now use the excuse of ‘i just want to be happy’ to exclusively do things that make me happy. like watching tv/movies, listening to music and playing video games. i completely let myself down in sixth form due to this because i didn’t get any work done because i just wanted to be happy all the time instead of being scared of failing. i’ve got so used to living only on the lovely little things that i don’t know how to force myself to deal with the big things anymore ://
0 likesAs Humans We all need Human Innteraction, so Dont feel Bad for that. If you Need someone to Talk to you Always have us.
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WEIRD PROPISITION: Do you Know of Omegal? You can on go there for fandom Interactions. Though beware of Nasty People and Bad People.
0 likesWelcome to growing up homeschooled.
0 likesBut dodie!! You don’t need to sit in silence and do nothing to be truly alone. You can do anything that will let yourself reflect on your thoughts and feelings and emotions!! Read, write, draw, sing, yoga, walking, listening to music. Being comfortably alone doesn’t have to feel lonely <3
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Guess I just wanna say keep remembering you can literally do anything that you want to do. ANYTHING.. control ur sim lol
0 likes"really you never mention it" lmaooo
1 likewe as a human species are literally not built to be without connection. that's why isolation is a form of torture! You can be introverted/have social anxiety and still crave connection with others. Each individual persons ideal form of connection is different, but ultimately we need it to survive. It's instinct! It is not weakness, or bad. It is what makes you human, it is your strength 💜😘
0 likesI guess you never have experienced real loneliness. After you have experienced real loneliness, you wouldnt cry because you need to do some social distancing. You still have your friends even if they are not with you. Try not having any friends and not speaking for a whole week because you dont have anyone to speak to.... stop crying because you have to spend some axtra time alone.
0 likesPeople need people to function... we are social creatures. And there is absolutely a difference between needing alone time, and our own spaces (but that's because we get exhausted from socializing), and being ALONE-- Without contact. PHYSICAL contact or proximity. If you believe in energy, introverts simply need less energy to recharge their batteries, and then feel comfortable being alone, and extroverts need more energy to recharge, before they can be alone. But most people... need that energy to recharge regardless. And there are of course people and circumstances in between. My fiancé for example (who is actually quarantined away from me as we speak since he just got a positive test last Saturday-- is someone who's energy adapts to mine and vice versa, and so we could spend all our time around each other in balance; recharging and just being when we need. Whereas some of my friends for example, I can only spend a little time around before I need to recharge... anyways... sorry I got ranty, this video just really hit me because lately I too have been feelings... utterly... alone. And I hate it. It's hard to hear that saying "you aren't alone" when you are someone who not only needs that verbal reassurance, but physical proximity, physical touch, as well. <3 But you're right dodie-- and that's something that gets me through too-- thinking about all the people I am potentially helping to save by isolating... It's a painful but important effort to showing our fellow human beings' compassion. The kind we all deserve. <3
0 likesGonna make myself a cup of tea coz Dodie said so.
0 likes(I don't even like tea)
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Lolol
0 likesLonely bones.... stealing that..... sharing it with nobody.... alone you see ... damn
0 likesthank you thank you thank you for this
0 likesi’m also obsessed with the queens gambit
0 likesYou're the best.
0 likesSeriously though needing people is NOT a bad thing. We are social animals and we need each other and that’s normal and completely ok. Keep looking after yourself we love you 👏🏻
0 likesPlease write a song about dissociation 😔😔😔💙
0 likesI dont have my cool girl or 4k to see but i see when the work permis :)
0 likeshello everyone! could anyone here the name of the performer dodie recommends when talking about music (with instrumentals album)?
0 likesvery off topic but love that sweater/top dress you’re wearing anyone know where it’s from??
0 likesMay I recommend this youtubers channel, Julia Kristina Counseling, that has been helping me get through my difficult and lonely recovery from a recent suicide attempt. On her channel she talks about how to become better at loving yourself, about working on your self-esteem, about how to become more mentally and emotionally strong and lots lots more helpful content. Have a look and see what you think! Good luck! 🙏🏼💜
0 likeshumans are made to socialize and like see each other... so we are playing weird these days...
0 likesim more productive with people around. Iv been working most of the pandemic so iv had people. (work in manufacturing or space during this time, so not seeing the general public)
0 likesPodcasts have been a pretty good method of fake socialising for me
0 likesi just saw THE DEVIL ALL THE TIME, good covid movie, otherwise woulda been forgettable ha
0 likesI have depersonalization
1 likeʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ? ᵘ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵐᵉⁿᵗⁱᵒⁿ ⁱᵗ
write a song about it! i wanna cry to it
0 likesDon’t feel bad for needing to be social. It’s literally a part of our DNA. We’re social creatures, we have been made to know that spending time with others is important to survive! This time is hard. And it’s hard for everyone, myself included. I understand how you feel. But good on you for sticking to it and being a good person. Can’t say the same for a lot of people here in the U.S. I’m not sure when the end is in sight here. But we must keep going so. Love to you from Dallas Texas.
0 likesyou are so kind
0 likesJust finished my tea, come to New Jersey:)
0 likesI'm always by myself.
0 likesI have a beauty spot right below my right eye a bit closer to my eye than that but ye.
1 likethanks dodie!
0 likesI loved The Queen's Gambit!
0 likesTime to learn a hobby like knitting, crochet or painting. You have your music as a creative outlet. Now you need to see something produced by your creative hands. There is nothing like finding something that you can do for other people (besides not transmit a virus).
0 likesWho were the artists she mentioned? The British accent makes it hard to decipher lol i love you dodie im gonna make some hot apple cider because you said so
0 likesReplies (1)
Adrian lenker and The pied pipers
0 likesi know this isn't the point at all, but I love the shirt
0 likesI learn to be alone
0 likeswhat has made me feel less alone is just enjoying BTS and The Queen's Gambit, it's just a shame i finished the tv show in 3 days... at least BTS has been with me for the past 3 years, so that's an interesting contrast lol
2 likesReplies (1)
hey i'm ARMY too! gentle high five
1 likebut i was planning on watching it with my elbows
0 likesoh my god oh my god i was listening to adrianne lenker earlier and was thinking about how to think when alone stop-
0 likesThis hit hard
0 likesI don’t think needing people is bad...?
0 likesim so shit atm legit im alone and i dont wanna go near people because of covid. I dont have many friends because i struggle with making friends and the friends i do have i cant talk to atm it sucks
0 likesi've never felt so seen before.
0 likesScroll,scroll,scroll,sleep
0 likesMy daily schedule
You loved The Queen's Gambit!...Me too❤️❤️❤️
0 likesI really loved queens gambit too
0 likesThere is no way you are getting away with this,,, The word "such" at 2:31 clearly has a pitch and there's a cut right before and after it. Am I insane
0 likesReplies (2)
i promise times a million i'm just not doing that anymore! i did it once and i'm not doing it again lol i just talk in a weird way sometimes
1 like@doddlevloggle I’m so sorry 😅
0 likesi swear dodie looks like a LoTR elf
0 likesThe way Americans talk is full of life???? Have you ever heard you Brits? 😂
0 likesgod this WHOLE video jus! y e s
1 likei don't use my phone anymore, i just use my computer for strictly only things for work or that make me happy, i.e. youtube, docs, twitter bc its not so addictive on a bigger screen? idk anyways it made me a bit happier but im an introvert so ig i like being alone even though i dont like myself lol
0 likesdodie i love u
0 likesalso stream cool girl or be a fool girl :)
2 likesthank you ♥♥♥
0 likesthe italian youth indeed
1 likeNever related to someone this much
0 likes1:08 (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ really you never mention it ♥
0 likesShe could make a asmr video
0 likesyes queens gambit is SOOOO good!!!
0 likesIf you like American news I recommend Rachel Maddow. She's so cool and wicked sharp. 10/10
0 likesIf you want some symphonic party funk in your life, go listen to LYRC Orchestra! Album release this Thursday, but 1 single is already out and it's a fkn BOP
0 likesWHERE IS UR SWEATER FROM I LOVE IT
0 likesThe queens gambit is really goof though
0 likeswhat do you use to edit?
0 likeshiiii we missed youuuu
2 likes1:07 I died
0 likesHighly recommend a therapeutic Psilocybin session.
0 likesReplies (4)
if only my brain could handle it lol i think i'd lose my fucking mind
1 like@doddlevloggle It's all about the right dose. But I totally understand the hesitancy :D. I only mention it because I went through the experience a few days ago. I was a chronic weed smoker. I couldn't function without it. The next day after the trip, I straight up just didn't want to use weed. I'm more focussed and awake than I've ever been. My life long depression has completely lifted. Stunningly profound to say the least. :D
0 likes@Lully Lew tempting
1 likeMaybe I’ll try a micro dose at some point but when I did MD I literally panicked so hard I vomited LOL
@doddleoddle oh yeah. MD can be quite intense. Not surprised you had a bad time. Bit hit and miss that one. The anxiety can be horrible as you found out lol
0 likesYou need a....... Dog!
0 likesIt's not terrible. Humans are wired to be social. It's perfectly normal for you to feel like this.
1 likeu should watch the movie beautiful boy.. it’s not a recent movie but I just watched it and can’t get it out of my head... it’s heartbreakingly beautiful and sad
0 likesReplies (1)
It does address a dark topic and can get very intense so I guess beware of that, but I would still recc bc it handles it very well and the acting/music/visuals are so beautiful
0 likes3:11 dodie asmr
0 likesI assume you are good at hugs
0 likesI‘m no very social creature,. So i‘m lucky with this isolation. Please forgive me, but there are people, that love to be alone.
0 likesReAllY yOu nEvEr MeNtIoN iT
1 likeplease do a cover of "carolina" by harry styles I love you
0 likesgoes to make tea
0 likesclass has to wait
1 likei dont want to be mean to people who can relate but i can’t and it’s strange seeing someone talking about something i can’t relate to so much, having grown up an only child with overprotective parents and an immigrant with no other family. i’m almost thriving, spending so much time alone because i got over that bump of getting used to my own thoughts when i was younger. what i wanna say is it’s very easy when you get over the scary feeling of isolation if you ever do. you shouldn’t have to though, you’re allowed to hate being alone.
0 likesyou are my Audrey Hepburn
0 likesI LOVE YOU
1 likeILL MOVE IN WITH YOU :( <333333333
0 likesOhhhhhh this is too real but also so good to know its really but also I Dont Want To Know Its Real ahhH
0 likesI quit after the vitamins
0 likesi love you :)
2 likesIm horrible at being alone, I get horrible panic. I wonder this as well, should I try harder to find my independence through my depression or should I just find better friends?
0 likesMy life right now
0 likesi've been horribly HORRIBLY lonely too because of quarantine. i want to be one of those people that are like 'i am happy that i am helping the greater good and i am glad that i am helping society and i Do Not Mind Isolating', but i really really hate this. i never realised how much of an extrovert i am until i was forced not to see Anyone At All for Months and live with my thoughts lol. bitches just aren't doing well lmao.
0 likesUnfortunately most people are not spiritual enough to be friendly. You only need a few kind souls. Trying to find them will keep you busy. :)
0 likesyesss the queen's gambit
0 likesThe pandemic with DP/DR is wild
0 likesReplies (1)
truly
0 likesholy shit i was just thinking about this god-
0 likesBEIIINNG ALIIIIIIVE
1 likeDODIE I LOVE THE QUEENS GAMBIT TOO WHOS YOUR FAVORITE
0 likes1:08 hahaha!
0 likesI miss my friends so much and I just can't see them and they're doing to graduate and I'll never get this time back and I think maybe I love her but now can't be the time
0 likesJust break the rules
0 likesdodie's gone hikikomori
0 likesgod i love you
1 likeQueens gambit was a great watch.
0 likesdo you need like a real friend lol
0 likeswe have similar eyes
0 likesyesss Queen's Gambit!!!
0 likesThe only person in the world that watches American news to feel better. 😳
0 likesi like the way u talk
0 likes♥️♥️♥️
0 likesI have the answers you seek.
0 likesHarry Potter called. He wants his depressed girlfriend back.
0 likesWHAT IS THIS. WHAT HAVE I STUBMLED UPON
0 likesWell. you made me think uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
0 likes2:09 💖
0 likesLonely bones, or bonely
0 likesSUZIE COLLIER that video really saaaaved me
0 likes❤️
0 likesYeah, thanks!
0 likesplease write a song aboutt this
0 likesthank u
0 likes💙
0 likes💙
0 likesYou should get a pet.
0 likeslonely bones gang
1 likeNeed a pick me up listen to Cosmicandy album
0 likesGet a gaming rig, talk to people that way
0 likesdo u have adhd??? i have this exact same problems and im diagnosed but idk ask ur doc
0 likesim going to make a cup of tea, anyone wanna join? Its green tea hehe
0 likesI would like to preface this by dodie is very wise and this hit hard. but does anyone know where she got her jumper?
0 likesqueens gambit is soooooo good
0 likesSAME
0 likes❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
0 likesWho is struggling Aswell
0 likesno offence dodie i found devil all the time pretty mediocre
0 likesOh this is depersonalization...
0 likes♥♥♥
0 likesZoom just isn't the same but at least it's something??
0 likesOh wow. You are very similar to me.
0 likestry meditation <3
0 likes❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
0 likesi cry
0 likesme too
0 likesHey..., I‘m feeling the same as you..., and it sucks terribly.... Trying to find some cheap entertainment over the internet is like betraying my own intelligence – I know it‘s all fake and that at the of the day nothing will count of this.... Still..., I‘m doing it out of lack of options.... Even going a step further to put myself in trouble..., just to still feel that I matter and I won‘t fade in silence as all the stupid entertainment. I‘m missing a person who takes time to talk to me about their profound wishes and to change their life to a better by listening and supporting.... I‘m missing it so much to show other people they are important to me and I care about them.... And maybe also to get some attention from them..... I know...., I‘m just a further scroll in this list.... But if you like..., I would love to be more than a silent comment in an endless list.... And I would love to make you more than a casual distraction and show the affection you deserve as a person....
0 likeshi i feel bad and i don't know how to feel better. i don't know how to reach out for people and i feel like I'm losing myself more and more. i don't know who i am. i don't know if I'm a person anymore, i have no interests and no thoughts. i feel like nobody knows me because I don't even know myself. i don't even know if i should try to get out of my house and meet up with people because i also feel that guilt of what if i make my parents sick. it's been 11 months since i started lockdown and i barely have seen people since then. i live with my parents and my little sister so that's good i guess but other than that I've seen my older sister and two my friends the whole year
0 likesI swear you say wash instead of watch
0 likes❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
0 likesThe waste of youth is the WORST. I feel like I'm not creating memories and life after I get old is clearly gonna be all shit and worthless.
0 likesdiscord voice chat babeeeeee
0 likeslove
0 likesyou have very pretty hands
0 likes<3<3
0 likesno way i was this early-
1 likeAt 5:00, What was the artists' name she mentioned? I can't quite make it out... Someome please help 💙🧚♀️
0 likesI feel sucked in this never ending loop of empty boring days because of depression but somehow the quarantine is not so horrible as I feel less alone in this situation, i am not missing out as much as i would have usually. But loneliness still is sticky and foggy, it sucks but we can use that time to invest on art yes, watching a film isn't a waste of time, if the film is good then it's something that will stimulate creativity, just like reading a good book. social media (twitter and instagram really) is what's dreadful
0 likesI’ve been scrolling a lot
1 likeI need therapy but. I have trouble looking into it
Replies (1)
Maybe ask a friend or family member to sit in a call with you while you get it over with?
0 likesYou have the encouragement from this stranger-on-the-internet <3 Therapy is really helpful, especially in times like these.
she is cute
0 likesSame.
0 likesI didn't get a notification? Youtube are you ok?
0 likesI'm also in a giant fucking rut right now. this sucks soo much
0 likes2:09 2:10
0 likesSame
0 likesF in the chat
☕
0 likesfacts
0 likesSwag
0 likesTell me about it
0 likeshi dodie
0 likesAdrianne lenker ❤️
0 likesthanks
0 likesAchhhhh quarantine sucks and it needs to stop making people sad
0 likesBeing alone is one thing, but feeling alone is horrible
0 likeswanna be my friend? my mashed potatoes are really good.
0 likeswoo!
0 likesEllo luvvvv
1 likeI dunno but i enjoy me being alone so much that people around me think i'm extremely weird...
0 likesim ur russian subscriber)
0 likesReplies (1)
but.. i know english not very well, i dont understend what a u talk)
0 likesily
0 likesCLAP
0 likesReplies (2)
snap
0 likessnap
snap
.....hi
0 likesay das me just a bit different
0 likesTea
0 likesLin Wood
0 likesooh
0 likesI’m number 4,986!😬
0 likesoh wow hi
0 likesThis is lame
0 likesI truly believe „being able to be alone“ is overrated. humas are just social beings. we need other people, to bounce off emotions and thoughts. and that‘s not bad. that doesn’t mean we are lying to ourselves.
1 likeofc it‘s good when we can comfort ourselves and are not completely dependent on other people being ~there~, but that whole „you need to get to know yourself when you‘re alone“ thing, that going to the mountains for three weeks and not talk thing? overrated. sure, if ya like it, ya like it. but if you don‘t: that just makes you a human that enjoys having people around. the same way you enjoy having more than four hours of sleep - you can survive with four hours of sleep and you can survive with no people around, but it‘s terrible and it‘ll break you.
INFP
0 likesFIRST
0 likesHi
0 likesHi
0 likesNot trying to diminish your loneliness, and feelings.. But it is weird seeing girls going a bit mad after not even a year of being "forced to be alone" - yet we have been criticising incels for being crazy.
1 likeI'm not an incel, never have been, but I think this experience should at least teach us that being lonely is a dangerous thing to the human mind. Being isolated and lonely for a long time will make anyone a bit crazy. Hopefully, when most of this goes back to normal - we can still think of the ones that may never have the privilege to come out of isolation, and start treating everyone else a bit better, someone has lived like you do now - all their young adulthood life.
69th like
0 likes