I actually cried to this video but not because I can relate but because there are people out there that think like this I'm glad too see that people are making a effort to stop this.


I started to go into depression recently, but after seeing this video. It guides me back to those lost feelings of meaning and happiness i've been looking for after so many days, maybe weeks. Thank you Kitti 😊. I hope this video can lighten everyone up. The light in your heart will never fall into darkness as long you have the will to continue and move on.


I certainly haven't had a bad life and haven't struggled with the thoughts some people have, and this still moved me to tears. It's so powerful to know someone cares. And I care about you, too.


Sometimes it’s good to write a comment, or let it out over a text, or write it out into your work, to let it out to someone you trust, or even simply to say it to your own four walls. Ever since I was a child I would always speak to myself, I would hold conversations with the objects in my room, my parents thought it was cute, they thought I was going to be a social butterfly, a speaker, charismatic, and in a way they were right. And that confusing within myself as a way to deal with hurt stayed for a while after I lost my mother at eight years old, I distinctly remember dreaming of her angelic face looking down upon me from the clouds as I floated away, stuck on a raft, drifting through the water to no where, as all the friends, family and teachers I knew at the time waved to me. They sent that child out into nowhere, sent him to his death, because that childhood ended, when my family came home from the hospital that day, my mother nowhere to be seen, and I asked the question, simple and short. “Where is she?” That was the day that I saw my entire family, my 4 little sisters, my father, my grandparents, all of them, break down. They all sobbed at once, nothing needed to be said, that was the day my childhood died, and I am pressed to remember much from before that day. I am a man who has no childhood, no fondness of the love that I received from my family, it’s hard to truly experience nostalgia when your mind refuses to show you memories. I grew up, and when I grew up, at 8 years old, for a while my grandmother took care of the family..and then soon we moved away from her, and it was up to me. When my dad married a whore who took his things and left him broken, I was left to litarelly fight off her children, my own father in his broken state turned his back on me while I was nearly murdered by a girl years older than me, or when they sat on the front porch of my childhood home, with my sister at there side, screaming abuse at me, telling me that I don’t belong there. Or if you look further you’ll see my early middle school years, those bastards gone from my life and my father back to himself, working his ass off to feed 5 children. Where I went through the ptsd of everything in my past all at once. I still remember the nights that I spent, curled in the corner of the bathroom, scared for my life of nothing in particular, anxiety attacks that lasted entire nights, all I could think about is that whatever demon took my mother was coming for me next. Or the depression, chronic in my family, but enhanced by what I went through, I remember how much I hated myself, and I remember I couldn’t even find a proper razor, so I ripped the head of a shaving razor off and used that instead, cutting the pain out of my legs, pondering going for my wrists next. Or the hatred of my family instead of myself, of my father for turning his back on me, for threatening to send me to an asylum when I came to him, telling him I felt life wasn’t worth living. I remember sprinting up and down a long patch of rode for hours until my body was weak, incapable of moving, and when I got to that point, I punched walls and trees until my knuckles where scarred and bloody. I remember so much more, and I don’t fucking want to. I like to feel like I’m ok now, I love life, I love people, I have a girl at my side that is just like the one in these videos, yet I know I’ll never be ok. Nobody lives through stuff like that and becomes ok again. I just want to write my story here, to get it off my chest, I miss mother, I never had that tenderness growing up, I speak like I’m an adult yet I’m only 15, with a stepmom now as well who I love dearly. Yet I still sit and ponder, I cry and I think of the true mother’s love I will never get, when I fill my life with all of this stuff, IB highschool courses, early college credits, the pursuit of music and all the instruments I’m learning, she won’t be here to congratulate me, to hug me or be proud of my achievements. I know my father will never be proud, I feel more like a tool than a son. I’m in such a strange limbo, not depressed, or anxious, or suicidal, but I know that like a cancer, it’s bound to come back for me eventually. And I’ll be fighting this damned  disease until I’m dead. I know it’s self centered to sit here and write my life story in some glimmer of hope that someone will give enough fucks to read it, but this is me, at 3am, the uncut, broken me. I guess that’s all, I exist, somewhere in the world, and as broken as I am, as much as I am looking for people who care, I would like to say that I care, I want you people happy, I love each and every one of you, I love you kitti for bringing this to everyone’s attention and for being that voice that truly does care, beyond the fantasy. And beyond whatever fantasy I create, I’m human too, and like us all, I just want to try and survive.

Jeffrey Sherman I love you too brother, it’s actually a little bit more tragic as that same girl that I’ve spoken so highly of has torn me down and left me once again, but thanks for replying man, thanks so much, I have a lot ahead of me and I know it, you do too. Even if it hurts now, I’m not with her because she wasn’t the right person for me, the way I see it, with my passion for music, I still have meaning and reason. I seems a small bit crazy but at this point I confide in my instruments because I know they won’t leave me, that’s one thing that keeps me going.

TheMoniathansNest  This was tragic and beautiful.  Thank you for pouring out your heart.  I love you so much.  You are doing quite well for someone so young who's been through so much pain.  I'm glad you found someone who's good for you.  Cling to the people who are good for your health, who love you and respect you, and who are always there for you without judgment.  Let the others just come and go.  I wish you all the best.  Much love. ✌


Even if you do not see the light in the darkness, there may be a voice to guide you towards it<br>Thank you Kitti :)

Even if you do not see the light in the darkness, there may be a voice to guide you towards it
Thank you Kitti :)


Wow. This really calms me down. I've always been very stressed, and it's good to know that you take the time out of your day to make videos like this to help people like me. Thank you.


I didn’t know I needed to hear this until I did.

You carry on as well, Kitti. We’re all behind you.


Wow really heavy themes with this one Kitti. But I definitely approve, if something like this helps even one person who may be on the edge, then it's worth it <3

AwakenByNyah they dont want to be helped they cant be helped there is no way to be helped what a waste of time.

Strength is absolute Strength forgives all


Even though I don’t know how this feels this video just....helps me somehow, I can’t explain why but it just helps put good thoughts in my head which is uncommon for me so thank you for all that you do and know that you put a smile on my face every time you upload or interact with us and I’m glad that we help you just as much as you help us.<br>Honestly I grateful that I found another person who makes me actually FEEL emotions as i have Asperger syndrome and can’t connect emotionally I have to say another thank you kitty for all that you do, love ya!

Even though I don’t know how this feels this video just....helps me somehow, I can’t explain why but it just helps put good thoughts in my head which is uncommon for me so thank you for all that you do and know that you put a smile on my face every time you upload or interact with us and I’m glad that we help you just as much as you help us.
Honestly I grateful that I found another person who makes me actually FEEL emotions as i have Asperger syndrome and can’t connect emotionally I have to say another thank you kitty for all that you do, love ya!


<b>slow claps while crying</b> Thank you Kitti Minx, that really means a lot.😊

*slow claps while crying* Thank you Kitti Minx, that really means a lot.😊


Kitti minx, I just wanted to let you know how much your videos have helped me recently,  this one especially. Over the course of this month I’ve lost two relatives to illness and age and your content has helped me pull through a lot. I just wanted to thank you, for everything.


Not sure what brought this on but, this is just such a great thing to see. Really appreciate your work kitti please keep going strong.


I care about you. You make every single night I go to sleep easier. Your work takes weights off my mind, and I know I'm not alone in that. Thank you.


I'm sure someone somewhere needed to hear this. Thank you.


Thanks for this upload, I can feel that this video adds to the few true videos that help people out of depression. keep up the great work!


This is a definite response to the game theorists' lost. I never knew that suicide was an epidemic across 1st world countries until I saw the data. After I saw it, I was terrified. I'm 15 and even after I was introduced to the adult world from my mother's alcohol addiction, i'm still more terrified of the future. This might seem cheap or cheesy, but I'm literally terrified. This content helps though.
Keep doing you Kitti Minx.

Edit:
Thinking about ASMR as a whole honestly. Tropes, role plays, personal attention, it's all therapeutic. Then there's the tingles mystery. What the fuck even are they? More research is needed to see the effect of the tingle effect. But during my mother's time of addiction, I looked for JoJo, For Dr. tingles, for Ephemeral Rift, and for even Kitti herself, all equally easy to drag the stress away literally. I can't thank you enough for your work Kitti Minx.

Huh, I watch all of those artists, I guess there are people with much in common to me.

Alec ferguson hello just wanted to tell you the future is scary but if it’s not we are more joyous if it is the we are more prepared I know how it feels to be in some of your described situations not completely since I know we all have separate issues,I’m sorry that I popped in just thought I’d try to help

I know man im 14 and my two of my friends tried to kill them selfs and my parents are always fighting and it makes me stress. My mom has started going away in the middle of the night 2 get away from my dad always yelling at every one and i dont blame her. Used 2 love spending time with my family but now i fucking hate and its one if the most hated things in the world 2 me. I hope ur mom gets better.


There have been times to when I had felt like giving up and just wanting it all to end. However, my family, friends, and writing have helped me realize that I do have a purpose. The road ahead is tough I know, but for those who are on it, I’m there with you. We’re getting thru it together.


At the beginning Kitti is just spewing the cold facts, that we're just listening to a disembodied voice , and the only visual assurance we have is a drawing. I wonder how many people she helped or even completely stopped them from taking themselves from this world.  Many people call.ASMR weird or sexual. Sometimes it is. But I'll just point them to this video, and say any content creator from any community can help people's lives. Thank you for this, Kitti. I bet some really needed it.


Well you got me to tear up,  but I refuse to cry. Pretty happy I found your channel.


If I am being honest, it seems like my family always makes me the scapegoat. Everytime there is a problem in and around the house it's always my fault. Be it dirty dishes, broken object or something missing, it's always my doing. And everytime I try to better myself they always push me down and say I can't do anything right. The only time they are happy is when I kiss their asses but gods forbid I have a single criticism. They always put themselves on top and say they do everything, and never credit me when I actually have the motivation. Just the other day I decided I was gonna clean the house, but my "Mother" stepped in and said I wasn't gonna do it right, and then later has the gall to say I do nothing. They always try to make me feel inferior and small, and it pisses me off. They always ask me to do this and hand them that, and when I ask them a favor they call me lazy and tell me to do it myself. My sisters get everything they want all the time. My twin sister asked for an iPhone 8 and she got it and not even a year later she is getting another one, I asked for one 20 dollar game and I get called greedy. I am basically ranting, but the point is they always want me to be at the bottom so they are on the top. There was even a point where I sat in my room and almost took my life because of them. Then I realized that it wasn't worth it and eventually fought back with words. We argue all the time and sometimes it gets to me. But I am still keeping myself from doing it and I am still working to change myself. I get depressed every now and again and I linger on bad thoughts, but everyone else does too. Sorry for the rant, but I just had so much to say.

Hey so long as youre not taking what they say personally, and you acknowledge everything that you do for them, that’s all you need. Maybe try actually doing nothing for once and maybe they’ll get a sense of appreciation for everything you do for them. And if not, no offense to your family, but fuck them. You keep doing you and everything you do because thats going to build a rock-solid work ethic and resolve which’ll last you till the day you die. I dont know how old you are but you wont need your parents forever. Show them that they need you tho.

God of Beans  np man we all got shit like that and it's fine to feel like that and talk about stuff I kind of know how u feel I feel like no one respects me of takes me seriously keep it up u know your own worth and u should be proud of that


Beautifully said, miss. And it’s something that many need to hear. I appreciate that.


This is a really great video, I have been going depression for along time an  this kinda helped,  I hope  this video will help  others going through  the same thing.


When i have one of my bad days it gets tough,it sneaks up on me, i feel like there is no point to life. But with each day i'm going to keep fighting. Thank You Kitti!


I dunno why but when I see those videos and they actually cheer me up I wanna laugh maniacally


Wow kitti... this made me shed a tear ;_;, even if that one girl doesnt exist, your videos will always help me relax and help with my anxiety, Just thank you kitti for makong these videos for all of us people, Together we shall make a better day tomorrow, we shall never surrender! Thank you Kitti Minx for helping all of us and making tomorrow a brighter day!!! :)


Thank you for taking the time to make a video like this. I have a lot of stress and big changes coming in the nextfew months and I really needed a pick-me-up.


Thank you for creating this. Thank you for all your content. But in particular, thank you for this. Love and Gratitude.


I was initially unsettled by the sudden cut to black and the almost creepy 4th wall breaking start of the video, but it lead into a sweet message and i really like it.<br>Thanks Kitty.

I was initially unsettled by the sudden cut to black and the almost creepy 4th wall breaking start of the video, but it lead into a sweet message and i really like it.
Thanks Kitty.


This gave me mental clarity and helped me to achieve peace of mind.

I've recently started a professional job and I've got Imposter's Syndrome pretty bad. I'm honestly worried that I'm not good enough for this job, and the thought keeps me up at night. The anxiety is making it hard to sleep at night. But it's alright. I've pushed this far and I'll keep on pushing. Thanks a lot.


Thank you kitti for making this video, it really helps


I come back to this video every now and then when I need to and it helps, it's very kind, thank you.


It's not that easy....<br>But I have to congratulate with you for the great work. I think this video can REALLY help someone who is depressed, even if it does not apply to everyone. Whatever keep up the great work... 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

It's not that easy....
But I have to congratulate with you for the great work. I think this video can REALLY help someone who is depressed, even if it does not apply to everyone. Whatever keep up the great work... 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻


I was honestly expecting just an asmr but when I hear everything u say it almost matches the description of how I’ve been dealing with things lately. Pushing away those that try to help me and letting the past dictate how I respond to situations. I’ve felt like I ruined myself too many times to recover but always being told that it gets better. Now that I think about it I think it has been but I’ve been to focused on the bad that I’m preventing it from getting better. Hopefully it isn’t too late but I’ll force myself to get better if I have to.

But thanks and for anyone else dealing with problems just remember that everything passes and there’s always more than just 1 solution. The easiest way isn’t always the best. Focus on yourself and what matters.


Kitti thank you very much! This was really a life saver. Thank you


I'm here, Kitti... <3 Thank you so much...for everything... :'(


Hope is out there and everyone that is a sub for kittie minx, were all family and if your going through alot or in a position that is on the edge were here for you


I’m okay, Kitti. You are a wonderful person.


This really resonated with me. It's not often I can say that about a YouTube video. Thank you.


This was... something I needed. I've had increasing thoughts of suicide. I don't know if I could ever bring myself to do it, but I'm scared of getting worse. I'll do my best Kitti.


Been at this stage for awhile now, I’m not going to go into details. But thank you, I honestly needed this.


As someone who went through this with a long 2 years of spiraling depression I got up every day sad and go through school looking like a walking corpse glazed eyes and a cold touch but I found hope and a quote that a lot of people use by fallouts Joshua Graham. "I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me" after that I got up for her for my precious departed love "S" now I live for her my gf and myself everyday another challenge. Another chance to become stronger.


This video definitely felt like it applied to me. I do enjoy your videos and I wish I could believe the words in this one.


The theme of this message I received is the world is a sea of hate. But if you choose to swim instead of drowned in it; you'll be able to find happiness.

I just hope people accept the hurt and accept to realize that this is the harsh reality we choose to not look at. My encouragement dwindles daily. But I push until my steam runs out. That is why. I will meet my maker with a smile in the most spactular way.

That day will not come soon. It waits for decades to pass. And until then. I will hide my sorrow from those I hold dear so they know i accept life with a smile! Until my last breath.

Thank you kitti for making this video. You rekindled some of my courage to continue push on with life and swim against the current we call depression.


I’ve never considered suicide but I know someone watching this has, thank you for making this


Ya know, its videos like this that make me think. Think about the times I've been down. I think about all the times that ive contemplated  some real dark things. Its a bitch to deal with some things, it really is. But honestly, its worth it to keep moving forward. Trust me, looking back on all the times ive thought about ending my chapter in life, and i look at what i have now, im so damn thankful that im still here.

If your going through something, as cheesy as it is, its true that like she said, dont do it, its not the way to end the pain. Your pain might stop, but it will continue for everyone around you. You will cause them more pain then you ever felt. Talk to someone, talk to a friend, a family member, hell talk to me if you want.

Just dont do it. Please, take care of yourself kid, cuz someone really cares about you.


One of the sweetest things I’ve heard. Thanks hun.


thank you for this it's what i've needed for a while.


You posted this right as I started considering suicide again.
Thank you so much...

I felt bad remembering things I did, and hurting people.
I was thinking I was a villain that deserved to die.
But I know that I don’t do that now. I’m not a villain.
I’ll try to get to that light at the end of the tunnel.


thank you kitti this might of helped with my problems

and i'm always here

Hi sorry about your problems funny thing is is how this video made me have a breakdown,sorry for just coming out of no where just thought that you might be similar,sorry


One way i handled those days i was my lowest was thinking "if the world wants me to end it, then ill get back up every day". Just out of spite, its not healthy but it got me through dark times


I'm still here. Very good Motivational speech. Happy to be here


In the beginning when the video cut to black and kitty started with “don’t close the window, don’t refresh the app.” I told myself “ I don’t trust this.” But the rest...the philosophical way of it..just...well moved me, kitty if you get to see this comment ( most likely will) I want to say, though this is an odd swing of personality from the other videos, but this was, powering, its changes some thoughts I’ve had lately and thank you, for making a video like this, this video is one video that actually touched bases that some asmrtist dare not go, so thank you for being one of the first I’ve seen do this, the video was amazing for what it was, and the message is amazing too, you at your core are an awesome and amazing person, please never stop what you do here and if there may be a chance, please make another video like this.

justin Blackhart ASMR lol same I thought it was going to be a jump scare


I feel more better now , thanks.<br>I feel lonely since i was like 7...i have like 4 friends who i can't do anything without getting bullyed...everyone is like this to me   i feel like im nothing.

I feel more better now , thanks.
I feel lonely since i was like 7...i have like 4 friends who i can't do anything without getting bullyed...everyone is like this to me   i feel like im nothing.


Dang.......uh......something on my mind is my loneliness I guess. But.....I really appreciate this video. Thank you greatly.


I know my "issue" is nothing compared to others but for me it is big. Recently I was questioning whether I deserve to be called a boy scout. I froze when a kid got hurt and couldn't do anything to help. Had the first aid kit but froze. I didn't help when it was my time to help someone else and it really made me question of i should be a scout. Let alone deserve becoming eagle. Let alone being in the order of the arrow (the people chosen in the troop for being a model scout in all blocks of life). Them we had an event called the saptathalon (play on words from a septethalon) and I had to lead our team. I was able to do that and did so quite well so I know I Can become a scout but I still do not see myself as one yet. Thank you so much for making this video it really means a lot. I know you mean something else by "Don't do it" but it reassured me to not quit scouting and push myself harder to becoming a true scout. Thank you so muc n and have a great evening.


If there is just one thing you care about or one person who cares for you and there always is even if you dont know it then it is worth every struggle every fight use those things as fuel to make just one more step then another in the end the fight will be worth it never never give up claw tooth and nail if you have to but you can do it if not alone find someone to talk too even a pet could help just vent the problems out just dont give up and use a permanent end for a temporary problem


I once had hope about 3 years ago, but it ended up being based off of something false and fictional which ended up hurting more than it helped.
Blind hope is dangerous, just hoping on something to keep you going can eventually let you down.
Giving someone hope just to keep them around doesn't always help them in the long run, but sometimes it's all that you can give them.


I used to be in this head space of “I’m done with living.”. And getting out of that head space is hard. But for me, the number 1 way to get better is to talk about it. Doesn’t matter if it’s with your parents, a friend, your dog, or a fucking mirror. You just have to get it out of you.

Asking for help doesn’t make you week.

If you are having problems just repeat this:

“Asking for help doesn’t make you week”

Because people will listen.


I don't know quite when it was but there was a girl I was really upset over, really depressed over. I never thought I'd get over her, and trust me it was difficult, all those days and nights imagining her coming back, imagining how it would be if we were together, and then realizing it would never happen. But it was around this time I got really into flying. Nearly all things flying, honestly. I began to love Aviation, Planes, Helicopters, Gliders, all you could think, It was around that time that things got better, I started playing flying games like War Thunder and Others, I began drawing Airplanes and Helicopters often in class and breaks. Hell, my new favorite animal was the Bald Eagle. Flying and Aviation made me really happy again and became my new love, per say. I don't know what it was but something drew me to flying. I have a dream I want to accomplish, I want to become a pilot in the Air Force and eventually come back home to fly more with a private plane or some such other thing. It was all things Aviation that helped me back on my feet and made me feel like myself once again. Thanks Kitti, for videos like this.


I’m currently struggling with working a job, getting ready for college. And my parents financial trouble so sometimes I just wonder “can I do this”, or “would they be better off if I wasn’t born” I’m always told to just not think that way, but it’s just where my mind goes, sometimes I just think about how I’m not ready for the responsibilities life has in store, so I crumble, I cry, I cut contact with everyone, as not to bother them, or be told that I’m just not trying hard enough, but I’m trying my best, I just feel like my best will never be enough.<br>And when I watch your meditation videos or even your neko videos, even if it’s just for a short time I forget my problems.... thank you

I’m currently struggling with working a job, getting ready for college. And my parents financial trouble so sometimes I just wonder “can I do this”, or “would they be better off if I wasn’t born” I’m always told to just not think that way, but it’s just where my mind goes, sometimes I just think about how I’m not ready for the responsibilities life has in store, so I crumble, I cry, I cut contact with everyone, as not to bother them, or be told that I’m just not trying hard enough, but I’m trying my best, I just feel like my best will never be enough.
And when I watch your meditation videos or even your neko videos, even if it’s just for a short time I forget my problems.... thank you


Thanks for the motivation and I will still be here


Tell her later, the words of gratitude you gave me!


You know, my solution to the existencial dread was not thinking about it so this isn’t really helping. Also I wouldn’t worry about doing it anytime soon, can’t make my parents sad right now


It's so hard to have self compassion when you feel you're a bad person. I can't connect with people. They never say the right things.. I never say the right things.


Wow, As much as I have low self esteem, yearn to have the perfect woman and would so love it if certain female characters were real. I have never once thought of ending my own life over women I desire being forever out of my reach. In some cases situations like that have actually happened.


Holy, holy s@#$, when i got this notification i thought this was actually sonething because i have been trying to fall asleep, but then with what this really is, i just. God. As someone who hasn't had a bad life, I've been very lucky, seeing this just, bothers me, i have no idea what's going on or what you're going through or what this is about and all i feel is saddness from this. I don't really know how else to respond to this.


I think medication gets an unfair stigma when it comes to mental health. Yes, sometimes they're over-prescribed, but they're also an incredible valuable tool for treating depression and anxiety.

So don't be afraid or ashamed of having to take medication. You wouldn't be worried about taking medication for some kind of kidney problem, so why should it be different for mental health?


I'm losing my home due to the landlord selling it from under me, nobody is willing to take me in and every room that is "available" won't accept me due to my work schedule or they ask for un realistic prices. It's hard to want to go on when everyone else is doing nothing but pushing you down. I keep going on not because I want to but because I promised I would.


Do not go quietly into that goodnight rage rage till it burns


Rest In Peace Ronnie, this suicide stuff is hitting me so damn hard all this depression stuff,just makes me realize how lucky I am after being so idiotic all these years thinking things from the past I should pay for then and now,I’m seeing how bad the after math is,I’m sorry, just that it’s hitting me so hard seeing all these,it’s not it’s not permant I can’t believe I would try just because of all the things I thought I caused thought how shitty I was,it hurts,I gave up so long ago I took my happy life card and threw it now I’m looking for it,I’m sorry to everyone ,I’m sorry to whoever can read this if the people I helped possibly kill and ruined families gone,I’m sorry

Psycho Milk hi I’m sorry I wasted your time with my other long comment I’m sorry,just I haven’t ever dated anyone and I’ve rejected my social life and sexuality and now my heart is empty gone and I’ve repaired the rims but not the center

Shelby Bayer I’m trying I’ve fixed all the problems I could by myself I just have one I have to have another,I’m lucky I’ve lived through all of my “attempts” because i fixes a temporary problem without death.i read your comment I’m sorry about the stuff that’s happened to you even if I don’t know them

Piper Weekly

it's good that you feel this way it means your an actual person and not a heartless monster
i am glad you see your errors and i hope you will be able to be happy

I’m crying from seeing how dumb I am and how awful I’ve been,I’m sorry everyone


Most of my depression probably stems from the fact that I have no one who asks how I am or anything like that, aside from my parents no one asks about my day<br>It leads me to feel as though my life doesn't matter

Most of my depression probably stems from the fact that I have no one who asks how I am or anything like that, aside from my parents no one asks about my day
It leads me to feel as though my life doesn't matter

Janet Bearden well then, I'd like to know how you're doing. How are you today?


I've always been a loner. I played by myself with my Thomas toys when I was little, I read a book instead of playing at recess, I listened to different type of music, I played all my video games alone (I still do.)

I was the target of bullies. I didn't go a day without something happening to me. I would get insulted, pushed around, get stuff stolen from me.

 I went through 4 long distance relationships in the timespan of 8th grade and Senior year, and one moment I will never forget, will be with one of my exes on my 17th birthday, I was out with family having a good time, I received a text from her saying she wanted to end it. I thought she meant the relationship, that was when she started to apologize, she wanted to end her life. I held back tears in a car ride with family after a night of bowling. I never told anyone. I kept it a secret. I didn't want anyone to know about that night. Fast forward to my graduation, I get a sickening feeling in my stomach (and it wasn't the Italian food I had after the ceremony), I received a text from her account asking if I knew her at all. I found out she was hospitalized, she tried to take painkillers and end it. I felt guilty, after our break up, i never got to say I'm sorry.. i never got to tell her she was my life...

And here we are now, I'm a fat mess. I play video games alone in a room. And I have no one to tell me they care outside of family. I have no one to love me. I have nothing, a void, a black heart stained with guilt. About a week as of me writing this I forced myself to vomit just to make sure I was alive inside. I'm not lovable anymore, but if someone cares, that's the first time someone would outside of family.

Trust me, people here care. You're in the right community. And I mean that in a positive way.


Huh, not exactly what I was expecting, but a change of pace I don't dislike. Though I may jokingly say to myself I'll do it when something doesn't go right I haven't REALLY had those thoughts for at least 5 years since my dog was unfairly put down. Still for the people that genuinely struggle with those feelings on the daily basis I can see the necessity for a vid like this.


Right now in my life, I know it's not imperatively important for me to have a girlfriend, (Being in Senior year of HS that is.), but when I get to college, due to outside consequences, I'm not sure I'll find a girl until I get out of college. Not many people I talk to understand me when I say that I want two things right now... 1. To know I'm capable for someone to love... and 2. A bit of relief from being single before I begin another long haul being single. (Relief being in the form of moral support and care.)

Every girl I've asked out (12) has turned me down one way or another. I'm not the most handsome, or rich man at the school, but I always try to look and smell my best. Hell, I even bought a bass guitar I didn't really want just so I could attract girls with it. (It hasn't worked yet.) Right now, I just want to know I'm worth something.

I'm not going to make this much longer, but, as of late, I've almost completely given up on God. Clearly he doesn't want me to have happiness in that way. It's been two years since my last relationship and I've gone through a lot of girls between then and now. Girls that like me or have a crush on me at the start, but then end up ignoring and forgetting about me. One of them wanted a relationship with me, but quickly lied about it when she returned to her ex-boyfriend the next day.

TLDR, I feel invalid.

Right now in my life, I know it's not *imperatively* important for me to have a girlfriend, (Being in Senior year of HS that is.), but when I get to college, due to outside consequences, I'm not sure I'll find a girl until I get out of college. Not many people I talk to understand me when I say that I want two things right now... 1. To know I'm capable for someone to love... and 2. A bit of relief from being single before I begin another long haul being single. (Relief being in the form of moral support and care.)

Every girl I've asked out (12) has turned me down one way or another. I'm not the most handsome, or rich man at the school, but I always try to look and smell my best. Hell, I even bought a bass guitar I didn't really want just so I could attract girls with it. (It hasn't worked yet.) Right now, I just want to know I'm worth something.

I'm not going to make this much longer, but, as of late, I've almost completely given up on God. Clearly he doesn't want me to have happiness in that way. It's been two years since my last relationship and I've gone through a lot of girls between then and now. Girls that like me or have a crush on me at the start, but then end up ignoring and forgetting about me. One of them wanted a relationship with me, but quickly lied about it when she returned to her ex-boyfriend the next day.

TLDR, I feel invalid.

I want to say something inspiring, but I have no idea what


Damn emotions getting the better of my eyes


Wow I did not expect that. Great idea for this video


Sometimes it hurts the heart physically, I wish someone would just reach through me and cradle its weight and beat. I don't want to be fake, but being that close to that point is a vicious cycle of lying to yourself and making it feel worse. If you do it, the pain you cause others will be massive, and the ones who caused it will have won. It takes more strength to live on, even if passively.


I have desperation to feel needed. I’ve been emotionally abused by so many people that I feel like I have no one who needs me. My fake smile is slowly breaking and I’m finding it hard to put this facade on for the people around me. My friends don’t remember who I am. I’ve shut myself away due to my negativity. I’ve got nothing anymore. I try to let my emotions out in music, but no song ever fits quite right.


I don't have depression but if someone has this ill tell them this video so thank for making this video

FaceFish9. true but i know i said this already but i still couldn't hurt to try

im just saying, there are people like me who are just waiting for their inevitable demise, but are not suicidal but in cases like these people "atleast me and those i know" dont want help, and get really angry and sometimes suicidal just because someone asks how they could be of any help... depression is sickness that cannot be really cured..

FaceFish9. you are right but still it couldn't hurt to try and maybe have a tiny bit of success and stop them from doing it and still I'm not going stop trying regardless if their too far gone

just remember, sometimes there is nothing you can do. sometimes people just are too far gone

Piper Weekly. i'm a kind gentleman that hates depression and will help who ever has it

bloody eyed aggron I’m happy you’re willing to extent a hand to someone who problems you haven’t faced,thank you for being a human with a heart


So many of the ASMR channels I'm subscribed to are making anti-suicide videos. I'm not suicidal, and I don't see many viewers coming out as suicidal. Did something important happen that I'm missing?


This was so ominous, from the title to the music cut, I had to turn my sound down because I was expecting a jumpscare...


Can't be with your waifu if you still cling to laifu.


Ugh just got a lot going on. Stress gets to me. But I'm gonna be ok


What timing listing to this I recently got prescription from doc to help with my crap hoping it works.


God, like I've suffered with depression for the past couple of years....... And I've tried to think thing like this..... But sometimes I just feel that's it's to late for someone like me.....


When I want to cry I come to this video.

Or the scene from Futurama where the dog waits for Fry.


That thumbnail is very misleading.

But seriously, as a fan of yours who actually has depression, thank you.


If only I had access to people like this
Like true access
Like here with me
So I can feel connected, loved, and wanted/needed

mexican raccoon hope you feel better man

Alec ferguson I don't mean that in the lustful sense<br>I've never had any close friends who would give me a hug or make me feel like I'm wanted around. I usually feel like a burden and like I drag everyone I love down, I feel that if someone would speand more time with me and just hold me or something that I might feel better

Alec ferguson I don't mean that in the lustful sense
I've never had any close friends who would give me a hug or make me feel like I'm wanted around. I usually feel like a burden and like I drag everyone I love down, I feel that if someone would speand more time with me and just hold me or something that I might feel better

Lust is a strong thing in YouTube.
Ever seen Durv? Being wanted due a person's complete desire will never start off on average a healthy relationship. This is the same with Kitti's previous content. Ever notice that her vlogs get less views? She's quit making NSFW for free which I respect. Understanding these things can help seeing a relationship though a smile.
You never know a family by a photo shoot.


In between of me and my friends, i'm the only one who talks first, it is ok, because sometimes, they don't know how to start the talking, but, to be honest, it is getting really tiryingful, i don't wanna be the only one who talks first, i think if i died or just disapeard they wouldn't give a care, it is like i'm not important, i'm nowhere more important than them but, sheesh, they make me feel... depressed and bad for making ME be the one who always talks first.<br>This and other of your videos REALLY help me, and for that, i wanna thank you, Kitti, i don't really know why or how, but you/your videos always helps me, so, thank you, for being who you are and doing what you do, in other words, thanks for being you, and helping others.

In between of me and my friends, i'm the only one who talks first, it is ok, because sometimes, they don't know how to start the talking, but, to be honest, it is getting really tiryingful, i don't wanna be the only one who talks first, i think if i died or just disapeard they wouldn't give a care, it is like i'm not important, i'm nowhere more important than them but, sheesh, they make me feel... depressed and bad for making ME be the one who always talks first.
This and other of your videos REALLY help me, and for that, i wanna thank you, Kitti, i don't really know why or how, but you/your videos always helps me, so, thank you, for being who you are and doing what you do, in other words, thanks for being you, and helping others.


The beginning of the video when the screen went black I was waiting 4 some scary shit 2 happen

Sitting here at 12 at night, just browsing her ASMRs, amd this shit happens. I'm freaking the fuck out.


I guess I gotta vent. Idk lol. Uh..I woukd usually wish I was someone else. Or..Be who I used to be. I made everyone smile,I helped people get out of dark dark times. And..things happened in my life. Losses..dark crap. And I guess I changed. Now I can’t help anyone. Make anyone happy. And I’ve lost a lot of people in my life because of it. My mental problems have messed up my social life. Hearing this at..where I am now helps. Thanks. And to anyone else..Don’t go. We all know how it is too. We’ll be there.


Well there goes my plans for the weekend


He's too dangerous to be left alive!
Do It!
Strike him down!
Complete your training!


The warning signs were scars of future rescue (future rescue!)


Hello, my name is sebastian. I’m 17 years old and I have been diagnosed with severe depression. I have a chemical imbalance in my brain so essentially I have been struggling with this since I was a very young child. I have had multiple suicide attempts and very recently I was hospitalized for a while. I’m still going to the hospital for therapy and medication. I have been going through the therapy and medication for like ~3 months now and I haven’t gotten much better yet. I haven’t had an attempt at my life since so that’s good. I’ll keep doing my best to help myself. Thank you kitti minx.


I'm not sad enough to consider that option. But I've been told to write a comment, so here it is. It's been a little over a month since someone died and i still am sad

Clancy Taserface it's okay it may take more then a month but it gets better it just takes time to accept it


Who's the 8 people who disliked this like come on this is telling you not to kill your self who are the 8 people who dont like a video telling you good things and not to kill your self


I'm not really that sad to kill myself tho it's crossed my mind time to time because even though I am young I think about everything and worry about everything because of this I see the world in a much darker place I see the world as a place where there are little good in the world and so much evil I constantly scared of dieing that its has me up at night even falling asleep scares me. Right now I'm about to be a freshman in high school and all thro out of middle school I was bullied by everyone in my class well not everyone there were five people that were nice but im a   introvert and they all are outrovets and had no time for me or don't talk much that it was hard and the only person that can even feel what I'm feeling is my best friend but even then we only rag on each other to ralleve the pian scene his parents are devorest and my so called dad left me and my mom had cancer before I was born so it's hard for her with so many medical issues so it's hard but life isn't tarrabell most of its fun but there are times that I what to cry. I really have no idea why I'm writing this I guess is I need it off my chest and you can not believe me and say this is a ploy or something it's really not I just whated to right this and to thank kitti for helping me relax more  even though I've not been here long it helps tho I would love to meet one of these girls in real life than life would be truly amazing.


Blastar Dragons I think we all are from either how this was different or how hard it hit us or just how badly it hurt to see a truth


I don't want to be lewd oh shit the cop are here oh fuck this bye but still i will watch this video the cop are no going to stop me for this amazing voice lol because I'm a badass 😎


"Write a comment, it can be anything"<br>Me: Oof

"Write a comment, it can be anything"
Me: Oof


I don't even konw what do with my life, but I will try sent a comment every day.


The darkness and the dead it's call to me and i don't if I straight to life or see the next day after tomorrow. And I know if is too late for help.

Piper Weekly even if it's very deeper like a black hole?

Trashman I know but you can see some brightness in the shadows I stay and find the lights within the dark

Piper Weekly yeah I konw but I been living in the shadows for about a year ago.

Trashman I’m sorry you don’t know me but I made a promise that I wouldn’t get more killed ,and people also think that so don’t they want you to run the dead men do not drag

Trashman dead men cant talk,yet I’ve heard them to,I’ve tried I’ve straddled the line like you,don’t fall jump and let something catch you,life is awful I know it makes us humans awful,but you can be better for anything don’t do it they called for you to run


Okay geeez I won’t buy the v bucks<br>I mean I really wanted them but I guess I don’t need them

Okay geeez I won’t buy the v bucks
I mean I really wanted them but I guess I don’t need them


You want a comment, where here you go, ive been surrounded by people who say they care, who say they will be here for me, but no one understands, there all just lies, templates for people to say that are supposed to make people feel better, i hope you dont take this the wrong way, im not hating on you, im just desperate and frustrated with the lies i have been told throughout my whole life and the pain to the people that try to get close... at this point i dont think anything can help me, i probably shouldn’t have post this, im sorry...


There is no point to life. None. The only way to live is to make it have purpose.


Pls change the thumbnail to something more fitting for this video

The fact this video isn't what it seems is the whole point. People considering suicide don't want to look for help because they think it's pointless.


Sultanato Nórdico I just wanted to make the joke once. Chill out.

Redxphones please, that doki doki cringe already ended


Caleb Horsley I don’t think this matters from this ,it matters from what you feel from this,sorry for being mean just thought I’d say something


Thank you. It feels like im slowly losing this battle. Every day I lean closer towards just giving everything up. But I appreciate videos like this. So thank you for your efforts.


These arguments are easly debunked. Also you ignore the chance of the unknown. Stepping into the unknown is not giving up. Its like boarding the first ship to america in the 15th century.


I don't feel like I deserve happiness because everyone else has it much worse. I can't get past the undeniable fact that my disability is the cause of so much suffering for me and my family. I feel completely pathetic for even wasting your time with this comment no one wants to listen to sob story because I'm just like everyone else. I don't deserve the luxury of having support when I mean absolutely nothing to almost anyone. Even you, I'm sure that I'm just a tool to get you even meager monetary funds. I know that it's not ok to feel this way, but I can manage because if I do it everyone around me is going to have to deal with the hassle of burying me. I'd only piss them off and I'm not even worth the trouble.  I don't want to be this <b>thing</b> that should have already been 6 feet under. I hate these WORTHLESS EMOTIONS! I just want to run and be free, but I'm trapped here by my family's problems. My pain means nothing compared to theirs. So I'll just shut up and sleep and hope I don't wake up. You probably won't hear from me again, I'm sorry for being a nuisance and I hope you can forgive me. I can't stand my own goddamn weakness! But if I come back, I'll probably have to say thanks for listening. I'll buzz off now.

I don't feel like I deserve happiness because everyone else has it much worse. I can't get past the undeniable fact that my disability is the cause of so much suffering for me and my family. I feel completely pathetic for even wasting your time with this comment no one wants to listen to sob story because I'm just like everyone else. I don't deserve the luxury of having support when I mean absolutely nothing to almost anyone. Even you, I'm sure that I'm just a tool to get you even meager monetary funds. I know that it's not ok to feel this way, but I can manage because if I do it everyone around me is going to have to deal with the hassle of burying me. I'd only piss them off and I'm not even worth the trouble.  I don't want to be this *thing* that should have already been 6 feet under. I hate these WORTHLESS EMOTIONS! I just want to run and be free, but I'm trapped here by my family's problems. My pain means nothing compared to theirs. So I'll just shut up and sleep and hope I don't wake up. You probably won't hear from me again, I'm sorry for being a nuisance and I hope you can forgive me. I can't stand my own goddamn weakness! But if I come back, I'll probably have to say thanks for listening. I'll buzz off now.

I know how it feels to be scared to talk about your own problems when your know people around you are struggling too. But listen. I don’t know you. But I know you are important. Your emotions aren’t worthless, they are the things that make you human. I don’t know how to help you. But your family knows, your close friends know. Seek help, because you are important.