ive been having hardcore derealisation for aaaggeessss now but i remember the year i found out that feeling like everything was a dream wasnt actually normal? and had a name for it was also the year that you made a video talking about it. i thought i was so weird and kinda alone in it but hearing you talk about it made me go "oh shit! this is like.. a thing other people experience" and slowly started finding more and more people who experience it.. basically, i wanna say thank you for putting it into words and spreading awareness, most people dont know its even a thing

same, i was looking through a journal i used to keep in gradeschool and i wrote about 'feeling in a dream' because that's the only way i could describe it. I tried explaining it to my parents but they didn't really get it, they just assumed i was talking about deja vu or 'maybe i wasnt getting enough sleep or drinking enough water'. I watched dodie's video and it made me realize that it wasn't normal to feel like this and it wasn't something as simple as lack of sleep or dehydration. I was kind of scared but knowing I wasn't alone, watching dodie's videos and reading the comments of others that felt so similar to how i felt, it made me feel like for a second i existed beyond the dreamy matrix i live in...


i remember first discovering i had dpdr by watching your video; when i was 13. i then told my therapist i thought i had it and he was surprised that i even knew what it was.


GUYS I FIGURED IT OUT!! I was just watching yesterday‘s video again, and I noticed something. Do y’all remember like a year ago when dodie made the video “what you up to” and about halfway through there was a little thing and she said “here’s a glimpse of a few musical endeavors I’ve been up to.” There were three one second clips of songs. The second one was guiltless, and the third one was boys like you, but the first one remains unknown known as of right now, and the tune is EXACTLY THE SAME AS YESTERDAYS HUMMING

They've done it, somebody give this person a job at gchq, they've cracked it.
For context, the video they're referring to is here:
https://youtu.be/UI0wAWqivDw?t=126

In said video, Dodie writes, "have not produced it yet but I think I'm gonna do it mostly myself" and when's a better time than when stuck alone to put in said work, hmmmmm?


i havent been diagnosed but i always have a feeling that I am in the back of my mind and watching life through a pane of glass as though it is a movie screen and that nothing is really solid, sorry if that doesn't really make much sense. i haven't told anybody about this but I don't feel comfortable enough with my parent to tell them about my depression, anxiety attacks and dprp, so I just live with it,  but it gets too much and I get mad I don't know what to do please help (and dodie, you have helped so much with your videos, just seeing that I amnot the only one going through this)

Also "its fine because it has to be" is something I have found myself saying too much because you know im fine, its fine, EVERYTHING IS F I N E


yeah, totally get it... I've been living with my depersonalisation for nearly 5 years... that sucks. <br>Sending love💜

yeah, totally get it... I've been living with my depersonalisation for nearly 5 years... that sucks.
Sending love💜


thank you for making this, if been feeling like this ever since covid started and I just havent been able to place my feelings cuz I couldnt really grab then and put them in the right "box" .. if that makes sense.. This video helped me realized I don't have a new thing, just an old thing in a new way, so thank you❤


I have depersonalization, I think it's my brain trying to shut out my really intense social anxiety, and your videos about it have always been really comforting. As soon as I saw the title I went "yeah that sounds exactly right". It's really as if the world is just not quite right.


I actually stumbled across your videos a few years ago when I was trying to work out why I feel so spaced out and dream swamped all the time, and then I was very pleasantly surprised when I saw that you write songs and sing as well. I think you're a very good singer and songwriter.


I really appreciate you talking about this and being open about it. You're the first person I've ever seen in the media that seems to actually have the same condition and feelings about it and I got it around 7-8 years ago same as you. It terrified me at the time as I had no idea what it was and felt like no one understood as like you say it's impossible to fully explain so your openness and honesty means a lot. We love you Dodie. <3


This was equal parts entertaining and informative. Ive never heard of that condition before so thank you for making a video on it


Thank you so much, I've been dealing with dissociating for idk how long so far, and this was really comforting


I’ve described it as feeling like I’m just a second behind the rest of reality, like I’m out of sync and can’t catch up. Hang in there. Sending hugs ❤


Wow, I have been experiencing this for several years now and I never knew it was an actual condition. I just thought I'd snap out of it eventually and that is was a symptom of my lack of sleep due to other issues, but the sleep and issues changed and my ''blurry view'' didn't. I never really knew how to describe this, but the way you describe it feels really accurate, so thanks for that!
Going for a run in the forest helps me, I sometimes feel less zoned out when I've ran in the morning. I'm trying not to be too panicky about it anymore. In the beginning I didn't dare to drive a car anymore, because I was afraid something might happen and I wouldn't notice. I wasn't even afraid of actually hitting someone while driving, I was afraid I wouldn't notice and just continue driving, because hitting someone with your car does not per se make you a bad person, but to continue driving does and how would I ever explain this to a judge?
Depersonalisation has helped me through very dark moments of my life, but now I'm really eager to finally snap out of it like I've always been expecting to. I have no clue how to accept this state of mind with basically my whole life in front of me.

Thank you for sharing about this! At least now I feel less alone and weird. <3


Thank you so much for this slice of relatability- I had no idea I wasn’t the only one! 💛 keep on!


i’m starting to deal with and finally face my dissociation and depersonalization and honestly it’s so scary but seeing people like you who i look up to deal with similar problems really means a lot


Thank you for posting this, and for always talking so openly about your depersonalization. I dissociate really heavily almost constantly due to trauma that closed me off from my emotions, and that particular illness is something so few people understand.


i just wanna say thank you, i know you probably wont see this but i was recently diagnosed with derealisation and you've always been in the back of my head during this process and actually all your videos have helped me a stupid amount. So thank you dodie because you have made this much easier and its less scary now because here is someone telling me its gonna be ok who isn't just guessing


Hi! My dpdr  lasted about 14 years, but resolved when I fully processed my childhood trauma (using internal family systems). It took about three years of intense therapy. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!


i've been experiencing this since i was 15 and i'm 22 now. thank you for talking about this, especially because it's been amplified since covid hit.


I haven't watched you for a while, but it seems like you're in such a better place mentally and it's so nice to see:)

weeeeell
I mean def better lol but still not great
I just don’t share it as much


I just wanted to say thank you for talking about your experience with this cause it really helps. You helped me reaize that I'm pretty sure I've been dealing with mostly derealization for a few years now but I've only begun to figure it out because corona has made it worse which is great fun lol, I'm trying to figure out how on earth to work on it because it seems impossible but I've got a lot going on in life and I'm taking it one step at a time :) Also I'd never heard the thing you mentioned about dysphoria and that got me thinking and I'm hoping the fact that i'm gonna be starting hormones soon will help so thank you for talking about these things!


thank you for putting into words something I've never been able to describe. I feel much less alone thanks to this. 💕


as someone who's been suffering from DPDR for at least 6 years and feels hopeless sometimes; I agree with you sooo much


I’m so happy that you speak about your dpdr. Your words are the ones that became what defined my reality. I cannot thank you enough for that.


as someone w dpd I don't really see it as dreaming all the time- but I know that the way I experience it is quite different for other people and am in no way saying the way you experience it is 'not correct' but anyways-

I feel many of the symptoms on a day to day basis, i.e. dysmorphia (the infamous what the HECK this toilet paper that's been sitting next to my screen for the past month now looks TWICE AS BIG or yk, any other 'wOW THIS IS BIG/SMALL WH A T' example) the questioning of whether my hands are moving by my own accord, the 'reality is real wow who knew huh' but there are some days where they get heightened, and then it all just. stops.

I have episodes where I feel nothing and care for nothing. they thankfully last less than a week but have been getting longer since I got my official diagnosis and became more aware of them and had a name to label my experience by. They mostly come in times where I am absolutely in a marvelous situation- a birthday party, a concert, anything that makes life fun becomes bland. as if the saturation was turned down.

I don't know why I'm writing this, but i just wanted to say it. so thank you if anyone reads this lol


watching your videos about depersonalization made me realize it was exactly what i had. I went to therapy because of you, dodie. thank you for talking about your experiences. it is so important.


Dodie, I also struggle with DPDR and it wasn‘t until I found your videos that I realised I had this and I could accept it and work on it. I know you don‘t want to overshare anymore when it comes to mental health but I am sooo so thankful for you talking about your issues. It just makes me feel less alone. ❤


I just wanted you to know I have been dealing with this since I was 18. I’m 22 now and you are the only reason I was able to put a name to my feelings. I felt crazy before I saw your video 3 years ago


Okay. This. Is literally exactly how I feel and I've never been able to find out what it is because I've never been to a therapist so I had never known about this so I kind of just had my own things for it. Like every thing you talked about is the same exact way I feel to a T what the heck!!!!!


That screamed whistle note at the end really cracked me up. :D Just found your channels and so delighted about it! I really hope your highs will start to get higher than Minnie Riperton's voice could ever get. <3


Hey Dodie, I am 15 years old and from Germany and my mental illness was really concerning last October to December when I was dealing with Depersonalisation and Derealisation and Depression. I went to school and it was horrible, but I had my friends and now it got better, but because I have no feeling of time I don't get along with other things, that everyone else is able to deal with - I have problems with doing normal things like showering and doing homework. I try to convince myself, that right now I am recovering and that I can be happy and everything, but because everything I do is for the future and I cannot feel future I just can't handle it. Every night I go to bed and I think that my life is over because it is not real and just a dream and every dream ends when you wake up, but it doesn't. So every time that I am happy and I can enjoy life I feel like it wasn't good, because I'm getting to attached by something That isn't there. So I emotionally punish myself for being happy or a l i v e.
Sorry, this got really messy.
My favourite song of yours is 'Monster' btw. Love it❤
Bye, love you Dodie💙


people call me space cadet because i’m always oUT oF tHIS wORLD

and not like in the above average way in the it feels like my head is FULL of s a n d

@pooh the winnie okay but why i’d that genius, i just got a faceless cowboy tattoo with its head detached, similar vibeee

This brain/body has DID and holy heck is that a mood

@pooh the winnie You go! I'm proud of you!

@Rose Lalonde exactly! i feel like i've accepted it and am gonna embrace it

@pooh the winnie I love that! It makes me feel cool rather than a problem lol

i JUST got a astronaut tattoo today to symbolize my derealization HAHA

ｗｈｅｒｅ.  ａｍ ｉ？？

ｗｈｅｒｅ.  ａｍ ｉ？？


to me it always seems like I'm "zoning out"/"spacing out" but I'm not able to "snap back" to reality, even if someone tries to get my attention it all still seems so far away.


thank you dodie, for everything you do  💛


"It feels like I put a limiter on the Logic file of my life" ... that's an incredibly powerful way to describe it.


Thanks for sharing Dodie, I feel your coping strategies are applicable to so many of the challenges we all currently face. Take care and keep doing what you do! ❤❤❤


Omg, I have this too. Thank you so much for making us not feel alone❤


I appreciate you making videos about depersonalization SO much. I’ve been dealing with it basically my entire life but I never knew what it was, i felt very alone and confused. But then I came across one of your videos about it and felt SO much weight come off my shoulders, you’ve helped me learn so much. Luv u 💕


dodie: "so I'll take what I can get"<br>Me: "cause I'm too damp for a spark--"

dodie: "so I'll take what I can get"
Me: "cause I'm too damp for a spark--"

It'll be over and I'll still be asking when

@alienbang im waiting to live, and waiting for love

@idkeither can i get it in my head?? ill never be sixteen again :(

silviaonline im sick of faking diary entries

@Esme L but I'd only ever see them in the dark

kisSING SICKLY-SWEET GUYS CAUSE THEY SAY THEY LIKE MY EYES


It was so comforting to see someone talk about this😭💞


depersonalization/derealization has changed my life so much, i forgot what reality feels like and it's terrifying. i've had it for almost 4 years now and i've been so close to giving up. it causes really bad panic attacks for me and i can't control myself. i tried to ask for help but my parents didn't understand me, they thought i had problems with my brain and made me get an mri scan. when i can feel it starting to get worse i always stop myself from looking down at my hand because when i do, it doesn't look real, it doesn't look like my hand and everything around it seems to disappear and when i lift my eyes up to see what's in front of me everything looks bright, it looks like someone has adjusted the sharpness on a editing app, yet i feel like i'm in a dreamy sort of state. i know that i'm going to start panicking when this happens and i either run to the bathroom at my school or start shaking and crying. i feel like i'm trapped in a dream, i want it all to go away and i feel like the only thing that makes me feel better is sleeping. i'm finding it really difficult to cope with it right now and i'm not sure what to do but my friend has been helping me a lot. i've been having panic attacks 5/6 times a week at the most and usually around about 3/4 on better weeks, but it just feels like everything is getting worse right now. i thought when i first started getting symptoms i was going crazy but now i know other people go through dpdr i feel so much better.

@SBJade aww :( this comment was really helpful tysm 💗 it's tough but i'm gonna try my hardest to get through it! i hope you have a lovely day/night, take care ❤

I promise you begin to adjust! like Dodie said, accepting it may feel like giving up on trying to be better, but really, you must accept it in order to start healing! keep doing research on it, look within yourself and your life for what may have triggered it (usually a traumatic event), and go to therapy if you’re able to. The first step is learning how to accept it as a part of your life now, telling yourself “I’m safe I’m safe. I may feel disconnected and so strange but I’m okay and I’m safe.” It takes a lot of mental work but it’ll make the panic subside I promise 💗 feel better 🥺

You're definitely not alone in this! Don't give up hope it can get better I promise


Longterm DPDR sufferer here and longtime fan. This video found me when I needed it to... something about a community in this that feels alright.


I get depersonalization as a symptom of my ADHD. There comes a point when I get too overwhelmed or get sensory overload and sort of slip away for a period of time. It comes in spurts but it happens. Its become some kind of coping mechanism to keep me from breaking down but it can be frustrating. It's just okay. You're right that it's okay because it has to be.


This 💙 I was officially diagnosed with CPTSD a few years ago, during which time I learned what depersonalization was and had a name to put to it. Turns out having entire chunks of your life missing from memory is not, in fact, normal. I wouldn't say I'm "better" now, but there is a sense of healing in knowing what your brain is doing? Thanks for sharing your experience - always a joy to see you making stuff 💙


my dpdr was at its highest when my friend passed away a few years ago, it’s been a consistent feeling for the past 4 years but as you said in the video, i was able to just .. set it on the back burner and sort of learn to live with it. and now, 10 months into covid it’s at an all time high again but this time i have absolutely nothing going on in my life, therefore i am left with ONLY my thoughts and i feel like i am constantly spiraling into it and as if i am trying to climb up this hole but someone is just shoving me back down every time i make any progress. covid DOES feel like depersonalization, so having depersonalization during covid feels so intense that i am barely making it by anymore


I love how you're so open and honest about this disorder, it makes me feel so much less alone... Thank you Dodie💛


thank you so much dodie for making videos on this, i experience it a lot and you put it into words so well, i’m not so great at describing it and so these really help me,


i've been really struggling to find a way to explain how depersonalization feels to my mom and im so relieved bc now i can just send her this video


It's really nice to hear somebody talk about this. I've been struggling with derealization for the past 5 months or so and everyday is terrifying. Back around when covid first happened I experienced multiple traumatic events over a pretty short period of time all while living alone in nyc. Ever since then I have been struggling with derealization nonstop. It's nice to know I am not the only person who is constantly experiencing this. The thought that you are also floating outside of reality makes me feel a little less disconnected.


thank u so much for this video. as someone with dpd i often feel alone and misunderstood and idk, the thing u said abt how things get less enjoyable is really clear and i’ll show it to my friends that have no idea how i feel. you don’t know me but i’ve been following ur work for like 3 years and i can only thank you for being so open and honest about ur struggles- i can really see how much  you’ve grown over these years and how you’re better at expressing yourself without necessarily bringing up concern in ur followers. i’m really proud of you, and thank you so much for everything you’ve created! :)


I have derealisation too and it’s almost been a year since it started. Although it hasn’t gotten any better, I’ve learnt to accept it and do my best to live with it, and I’m certainly better at dealing with it. If you are experiencing this (or anything else that’s difficult), I want you to know that you’re going to be ok. It will get easier, I promise. You have the strength to get through it. And don’t be afraid to open up to people, having people around you be aware and there for you makes a world of difference. Have a good day/night ! <3

Cela M in my experience, it was much worse at the start and it eased off with time. that or i just got used to it haha. either way, it’s going to get easier

this makes me so less anxious, thank you <3 it started a couple months ago for me and i'm so scared it'll be this bad forever. stay strong, sending love!


As someone with depersonalisation (and derealisation too for that part) this resonated so incredibly much with me. I don’t think I could have described this better if I tried.


I'm not diagnosed or anything but watching your videos made me finally feel like I'm not alone and prompted me to try and get help. It's a slow process and nothing much has happened but I am extremely grateful for you. Thank you so much!!❤


Ive been suffering the same condition for at least 3 years or so and this is really comforting. Mine started sometime after I graduated high school and gradually got worse, my dysphoria and stress is honestly really high right now and I wish I wasn't so lonely but also quarantine has been an issue cause I can't really go out when people near me have had covid


I recently got diagnosed with DPRD and I've been dealing with since i was 15 but i only realized it was a thing when you uploaded your last video about it and it was a huge breaking point for me. now I'm 20 and have finally gotten the diagnosis after 5 years. you literally made me feel, not crazy and I am so grateful that you talk about this cos otherwise I'd still feel like im going insane or not know where to get the right help for it. Thank you x


There’s so little research into disassociation  because it hasn’t been in the DSM long apparently... but the lack of research is so frustrating because barely any of the therapists I’ve met in the UK have been able to help me at all 😣

I don’t know if you get this too but I also have visual distortions so like the person opposite me not only sounds like their voice is coming from outside of them they also look really really far away! Or too close up even though I know they’re not. It’s literally like hallucinating and makes me feel crazy. It often happens if I’m in  a stressful convo or I’m extra anxious but I can hardly take someone seriously when they’re shrinking right before my eyes...

I feel like this sounds like complaining but I’m not, I’ve adapted to expect that when I talk to my friends I can never feel truly there or like I’m giving them the real me...

It absolutely sucks when our minds put a filter over the world without our consent but here’s hoping that reading my experience can comfort you a little so you know you’re not alone 🤍

Yeah I have to tell my therapist what it was. She hadn’t even heard of it before.

@doddleoddle yess! And then you have to try and explain that your mind has made them into a tortilla and it really does take the best of people to understand that concept :’)  I’ve found that if I tell someone to google the ‘dolly zoom’ it’s the best way of letting them see what I mean when I say they look miles away when I know that they’re not

And idk if it's just the dissoc but I feel like I have visual looming syndrome aswell/as a result of dissociation

Yesss visual distortions are a pain ngl, it's like I lost my depth perception 100%

Yeah I have times where objects or patterns look like they are moving or growing when they're not, and kind of what you're describing as well

Yes, I totally understand the growing/shrinking thing. It's like one part of your brain knows it's not happening, but the other part thinks it is? It's like in movies when someone gets traumatized and everything gets all ringing and foggy and fades away, except with shrinking.

Ahhaha yes the other day my friend jack looked like he was a tortilla was holes cut out for eyes and I tried so hard to not just laugh while he was talking


Wow so many thoughts I could share about this but for now I will just say this: I feel you! Much love, we're hanging in and doing our best, and thanks for being such a lovely presence!


It's very reassuring to hear that there's someone else that can relate to what I'm experiencing. Thank you so much for sharing this dodie ! you're amazing ! stay safe !


thank you so much for talking about this! Your original video on depersonalisation a couple years back made me realise that I was suffering from derealisation caused by anxiety. It made me feel so much less alone and I think you're very brave for talking about this online and sharing so much of such a difficult thing 💗 stay safe :)


I've always experienced depersonalization (and sometimes derealization) around very stressful situations or in the early stages of panic attacks, but during the summer I had some (non-COVID) medical issues and it became much common and easy to trigger. I've been trying to just deal with it and hope it would go away, as it was started by a short-term problem, but at this point I think I need to see someone about it. Thanks for talking about your experiences again, Dodie-- it helps me remember that it's important to accept what's happening and to take care of myself.


I haven't watched your channel in a long time (not on purpose, I just fell into other Internet holes) and am very happy I decided to watch this one <3 I'm starting counseling next week and am excited. I'm interested in your EMDR experience, as that's something I was prescribed.


Hi I have depersonalization and I really appreciated you making this video. Even though it’s a somewhat common disorder no one seems to talk about it, and it made me really happy to see this


Sometimes its so intense it affects me physically. I'll lay down it feels like im floating. Idk if these two could be connected somehow but when my depersonalization came around in 6th grade(im 17 now) i also couldnt and still cant ride rollercoasters or even ride in the car without feeling sick.


“I always like it when people with depersonalization comment on my stuff” MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEE you literally get me through this


I actually realized this at the beginning of covid too! Especially video calls are hard for me, because it feels like being spaced out. I'm there, talking with other people, but at the same time I'm not there. The distance and the screen between us reminds me of DPDR and makes me freak out. That's why I try to do something with my hands at the same time, so I'm usually drawing during a video call. It makes me focus on that instead of how I'm feeling. I'm so glad you talked about this!


You should try somatic experiencing, its helped me so much! Usually "zoning out" is your nervous systems mechanism to protect itself from pain.. so feeling your trauma bit by bit is how you lesser the "zoning out" because life feels less scary. Anyway just an idea:) I'm not a psychologist but its helped me a lot so might help you:))


I found out I have DDNOS recently-ish(?) and...at first I was incredibly sad, but then I tried really hard to find out all I could about it. It just became too much and depressed me more. I don't feel like I'm in reality 100% of the time either. Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it's really hard...<br>Thanks for this Dodie ❤

I found out I have DDNOS recently-ish(?) and...at first I was incredibly sad, but then I tried really hard to find out all I could about it. It just became too much and depressed me more. I don't feel like I'm in reality 100% of the time either. Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it's really hard...
Thanks for this Dodie ❤


I was talking about a similar feeling to my boyfriend the other day, I don’t have depression or anxiety but i’ve noticed that the range of what my mood used to be before covid was higher and now is like my mood got used to a new kind of “happy” but that in reality, compared to pre covid this “happy” that I feel now would actually be an ok or even sad mood, but this is all I have now and there’s nothing to do about it until this is all over :/ don’t know if any of that made sense

Definitely. I do have a few disorders, but pre-covid I was definitely happier than now. Now I get excited for just not being totally sad. I'm waiting for schools to open again, I think it'll make me feel better.


I think there’s a few theories that make sense. We can be pretty sure it’s BUILD A PROBLEM, if it’s words that are English & not just gibberish. Bc there’s 13 videos, 13 letters & the first video had 2 letters, the 13th video is probably gonna be the reveal/announcement! Here’s what I’ve seen that the letters could mean:

- Title of the album or title of a single off the album (or both). As many have pointed out, it’s a bit of a weird title, but hey, maybe! If dodie wants to title her album that way, I stan! (:
- It’s an anagram & needs to be unscrambled. Possible theories are (ILEB) ALBUM DROP, with the first 4 letters being the initials of the actual album title. I think this makes sense insofar that she’s knitting the letters individually, which she then could rearrange & hang up in the right way in the reveal vid
- The letters are an acronym for the first letters of each of the songs. An album with 13 songs & each letter represents a song! Question here is if they are in this actual order on the track list or if they were rearranged to produce words that have some sense.
- An add-on to all these theories is that the humming at the beginning of each vid could represent each of the songs on the album in some way (maybe the key harmonies, or the beginnings of the songs, or “summaries” of the key melodies).

I think there’s a few theories that make sense. We can be pretty sure it’s BUILD A PROBLEM, _if_ it’s words that are English & not just gibberish. Bc there’s 13 videos, 13 letters & the first video had 2 letters, the 13th video is probably gonna be the reveal/announcement! Here’s what I’ve seen that the letters could mean:

- Title of the album or title of a single off the album (or both). As many have pointed out, it’s a bit of a weird title, but hey, maybe! If dodie wants to title her album that way, I stan! (:
- It’s an anagram & needs to be unscrambled. Possible theories are (ILEB) ALBUM DROP, with the first 4 letters being the initials of the _actual_ album title. I think this makes sense insofar that she’s knitting the letters individually, which she then could rearrange & hang up in the right way in the reveal vid
- The letters are an acronym for the first letters of each of the songs. An album with 13 songs & each letter represents a song! Question here is if they are in this actual order on the track list or if they were rearranged to produce words that have some sense.
- An add-on to all these theories is that the humming at the beginning of each vid could represent each of the songs on the album in some way (maybe the key harmonies, or the beginnings of the songs, or “summaries” of the key melodies).

Thank you for typing this out! Honestly I'm too spacy to properly keep up (very keeping with this video's subject!) but I do wanna know what's going on.

Thank you for summing it all up and sharing your theories! I'm so excited to see what it'll be


I used to think I was alone and crazy and then a few years ago I found your video talking about your experiences with it. When I tell you it changed my life... it really did and I’m so so so thankful that you just opened up to us about your experiences with depersonalization


i've been watching your videos for four years now and i love hearing you destigmatize mental health because it really helped me accept that this is something that i don't deal with alone so thank you :)


whenever I feel my DP kicking in I pretend I'm one of those video game avatars that continue walking in place when they hit a wall, it makes it kinda fun.

DP: Hello!
Me: aw shit, here we go again

whenever I feel my DP kicking in I pretend I'm one of those video game avatars that continue walking in place when they hit a wall, it makes it kinda fun.

DP: Hello!
Me: _aw shit, here we go again_


Hi doodie, iam very thankful for your input on this, i discovered you when All this dp and Dr started one and a half years ago and i was in a really bad place back then and im still learning to live with this condition - thank you after such a long time that i got reminded of who got me through this :-)

You are a beautiful mind.
even in your spacesuit.
Much love from Berlin ♥ =)


really the way i'm trying to feel a bit better about this whole covid situation is saying that it will not last forever. when it begun i was trying to think of the exact time it was going to end, i thought maybe since september and generally the end of the year, now that we're here i know we'll have to deal with this longer. although i don't know <b>how</b> much longer, i'm comforted by knowing this too, shall pass. i just don't know when.

really the way i'm trying to feel a bit better about this whole covid situation is saying that it will not last forever. when it begun i was trying to think of the exact time it was going to end, i thought maybe since september and generally the end of the year, now that we're here i know we'll have to deal with this longer. although i don't know *how* much longer, i'm comforted by knowing this too, shall pass. i just don't know when.


3.5 years now, sometimes i think or feel like im having a moment of clarity (in my brain it feels like the relief of a stuffed nose clearing up), but then im not so sure because tbh ive completely forgotten what it was like before.


I think I often feel the effects of 'depersonalisation', I remember in high school I started saying to my friends "I feel like I've not woken up yet", "Things just don't feel real_", "It feels like things are just happening, not that I'm _doing them". It started happening more and more and now it's kind of my new normal, I recall watching your in-depth video on it a while back and thinking "Hey, maybe I should get this checked" and never bothered. I don't know if this is part of it (or if I've just got a bad memory) but I often find it hard to recall things that have happened as well, hell I barely remember what I ate for tea the night before! When I've gotten into a habit of doing something that causes progression, however, (ie. creating new software at work, working on my house, etc.) then it helps mitigate that sense of 'lost time'. I don't think anything will ever fix feeling like I'm asleep all the time but it least mitigate the sadness that it brings.
That all changed when the covid virus attacked, it's put a halt on any of those things which I used to make progress on making me feel as I was back in college - when my spaciness was worst. I dread having to work back up to learning to function as a normal person again but at least it's made me aware as to how far I managed to get (and can get to again!) in terms of dealing with it

Also yeah, definitely "Build a Problem", good job, guys 👍
something something, build a problem, overcome it, very motivational, si si

I think I often feel the effects of 'depersonalisation', I remember in high school I started saying to my friends "I feel like I've not woken up yet", "Things just don't feel _real_", "It feels like things are just happening, not that I'm _doing_ them". It started happening more and more and now it's kind of my new normal, I recall watching your in-depth video on it a while back and thinking "Hey, maybe I should get this checked" and never bothered. I don't know if this is part of it (or if I've just got a bad memory) but I often find it hard to recall things that have happened as well, hell I barely remember what I ate for tea the night before! When I've gotten into a habit of doing something that causes progression, however, (ie. creating new software at work, working on my house, etc.) then it helps mitigate that sense of 'lost time'. I don't think anything will ever fix feeling like I'm asleep all the time but it least mitigate the sadness that it brings.
That all changed when the covid virus attacked, it's put a halt on any of those things which I used to make progress on making me feel as I was back in college - when my spaciness was worst. I dread having to work back up to learning to function as a normal person again but at least it's made me aware as to how far I managed to get (and can get to again!) in terms of dealing with it

Also yeah, definitely "Build a Problem", good job, guys 👍
something something, build a problem, overcome it, very motivational, si si


thankyou for always talking about this dodie:( i constantly try explaining my experience with depersonalisation to people around me and when nobody gets it or understands, it makes me feel worse and i sink even further- whenever you talk about it i feel a little more normal and okay with the fact that i live this way:/ lov u lots


Your first video about depersonalization was the first time I’d heard someone talk about it and the first time I could put my own feelings into words. Thank you for being vulnerable and creating space for others to articulate what they’re struggling with💕


This reminds me of when people say "you never let it slow you down!" To someone with a chronic illness and I always think, well what else am I supposed to do? Life keeps going and so therefore I have to aswell

Ohmygod I have a chronic illness and derealisation and FELT this


ive had moments of spaciness in really low times with ed or depression, dont know if its the same but i still.. i feel this


"i'll try and enjoy this because it's all I have right now"... Hit me really hard. Gives me strength and pulls me down the same time❤ 6:55

"i'll try and enjoy *this* because it's all I have right now"... Hit me really hard. Gives me strength and pulls me down the same time❤ 6:55


Wow! I have never heard this explained so accurately. Thank you SO SO MUCH ! You’re amazing !!


It's such a good analogy.. I also started with derealisation and depersonalisation like 8 years ago, but as a symptom of my anxiety and depression. I'm currently on medication for depression and anxiety, and it helps with those things, but the depersonalisation took a life on its own and, yeah, I'm constantly spacey. It's so nice to hear you talk about it.. because no one understands when I've tried to explain it in.. you really have made an impact in my life, so thank you ✨


wow this has been the video I needed. thank you for posting! I have been experiencing this on and off this year and had no idea what this sensation even was for a lot of it. if anyone knows how to help when this flares up, please let me know. i'd love to share stories!


I first experienced depersonalisation at uni, during a really stressful time. It's been better recently, but it comes back when I get stressed, so I've decided to use it to my advantage and write a novel where a character suffers from it and hopefully it will reach people and maybe make them feel less alone. Thank you for sharing your experience dodie!


my depersonalization has been the absolute worst since school went online in March. It's so refreshing to just feel, like I'm not alone. When I'm spaced out, it hurts most when people around me just don't understand and aren't sensitive. It really breaks me. But this is just what I needed; hearing that someone gets it.

Thank you again dodie, for this 1% of your life


i’m still looking into it but i think i have this during anxiety/panic attacks like you mentioned. for me it kinda feels like the room i’m in is the only thing and outside is just space if that makes sense. and then that makes me overwhelmed and panicky and i have to find a way to ground myself. outside of the attacks though everything is still a bit hazy, but not to that extent. i think it’s brought on by either anxiety or maladaptive daydreaming or both but like i said i’m still doing research but thank you dodie for teaching me more about it :)


Thank you Dodie🙏 I’ve bought your book and it helped me to know I’m not alone! But when I think about my DP lasting longer than four years or so... I think I’d be even more hopeless than I am now. I’m suffering from it now for two years. I know it’s not that “much”, but I don’t want it to last longer... it’s so hard to live in this unreal world.. I don’t know how to do it and I’m really fascinated about your strength to hold on🙏


I love what you said about practicing gratitude!  I've always had dissociative tendencies and I went through a time in my life a while back where I got so overwhelmed with my life that they started to take over.  I couldn't really feel what was happening in the moment at all and it scared me.  Eventually since I didn't know of anything that could help I started to just be grateful for the feelings I was able to experience because that was the only option I had.  I think I accidentally trained my brain to let me experience life more because as soon as I started thinking that way, more and more feelings started coming through and I feel like I'm in the present most of the time now.  Thank you for your video!


You are great! Really appreciated this and loving your recent videos x


Hmmm... I think I've been having something similar to this for the last 2 years. I've had a lot of chronic pain and  I feel floaty and not really here anymore, but also not depressed. I don't really feel anything, the days blend into one and time doesn't quite go by like it used to. It's frustrating because it's hard to explain to people because the way I feel is so nuanced.


Had DP for about 7-8 yrs now, been through the works with it. Some days I almost forget I have it and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night because of it lol. Glad to see you sharing your stories and experience, every little bit from one another other helps a day at a time. Keep moving forward


i remember i used to hear u talk about depersonalisation ages ago and i never understood it and then i went through a very traumatic event and now i feel the exact same. also ive had a loss for words of how to explain it and i think after watching this video i need to show it to my therapist to explain it a little better because ur analogies were very accurate so thank u dodie


thank you for making this video, i connected with it so much. its great to hear about other people’s experiences because for me i get dissociated when im panicky and it just comes in bouts, usually from certain triggers. i dont know how you live with it all the time, it fucks me up so much every time i get it. i haven’t tried treating it because im scared that any medication i take will just make it come on more and i don’t want any side effects considering i have a history of mental health issues that could come back at any time. its just good to know that there are so many people out there going through the same thing, so thank you.


I'm sorry this affects you all the time ❤ You might have already thought about this, but I find my "spacey-ness" is sometimes linked to low blood pressure. I felt super zoned out 90% of the time growing up, but I started to feel much more present when I began started drinking coffee and running a few years ago. Nailing a regular sleeping pattern really helped too, I feel so zoned out if I sleep in past 7am! 2017-2019 are some of the most vivid memories for me, and I think it's because of those three factors. 2020 has been a write off, for obvious reasons 😂


I love these videos, they are the high point of my day 🙂


u actually helped me realize dpd/drd for what it is. before I knew u and the name of the condition I just called it a glass fence between me and the world and I'm SO grateful I found u having the condition too it gave me strength <3


The way you describe depersonalisation is sort of how I feel about my ADHD, except the highs and lows are just massive but with medication they’re not so bad


I (thankfully) only tend to live 50% of my days depersonalized or derealized (or both), but I am always so grateful when someone is able to put it into some kind of words what it feels like. I explain everything in metaphors, but dissociation always feels too elusive to properly metaphor-ize. The limited audio levels, and also this past year, are perfect metaphors 👍🏼


I’m glad you have your toolkit. You are so strong and optimistic and it’s wonderful


I've felt like I have derealization/depersonalization for nearly 5 years, consistently. I've come to accept it more than when it first came on. I've been watching a lot of your videos lately because hearing you describe your symptoms is like hearing my own thoughts actually translated into words and feelings. And it's been a driving factor in me taking the first steps to pursue treatment. I've never been diagnosed or spoken to a medical professional about it before and I really just needed a push to start the process.


It's nice how you describe depersonalisation. I really know what you mean, I've never thought about a specific diagnosis for this kind of feeling. I've always tried to describe it to my therapist as just standing in a crowd of people, they are rushing around me like on a busy business street and me standing on that one spot not able to move, ppl are realizing me barely and I can barely realize them but can't remember and time rushes by and I should do so many things but I am standing outside time and I'm just watching, trying to reach out but also don't mind because life will carry me somewhere and I don't hav strength anyway.

It's like a smoll numb bubble swimming on a wide ocean and I should be bothered and is absolutely scary too, but it also numbs away stress and struggles with communicating and handling adult life. I'm autistic and I'm struggling with depression and eating disorders for many years now, and this feeling of standing outside is a daily thing I can't even remember when it started and it doesn't matter anyway. I don't know if it is a good or a triggering thing for me personally, I quess both. 🌼
But as you said, it's fine, it will be fine, I do accept it, I can't help it too, but we are still a life, right? So we can still figure things out about it ✨👍🏻


so i've been feeling like i'm dreaming non-stop since i was a child (even before i knew it was a condition - i would always ask my friends, 'do you guys ever feel like you're dreaming??' and they would always be SO confused)

and over the last couple of years, as i've watched your videos and started coming to terms with the fact that maybe i have dpdr and should get it officially diagnosed, i've described it in my head as a bit like a tv with a single cable unplugged

and that's exactly how you described it in the intro
idk it just makes me feel like maybe i'm not crazy and i do actually have something that can be classified
i've cried over my inability to describe it or put it into words bc it makes me feel like i'm insane sometimes
so thank you for validating my thoughts <3


I remember when I struggled with this, I also didn’t like traveling because it felt like all of my surroundings were unfamiliar to the point it would give me anxiety. Even when my head would feel clear, I would live in fear of it coming back. It’s been a really long time since the sensation hit, but it scares me that there isn’t a cure and it could come back. I wouldn’t feel depressed, I just felt constantly anxious. I would question if anything was real. It made it worse not knowing what it was and thinking I was going crazy. It was only after the fact that I learned what it was called. It’s crazy how much I relate to what you are saying.


have you ever heard about high functioning autism in females? 🙂 i have depersonalisation from 6 years and finally i was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome recently which i’m 100% sure caused symptoms of the first disorder. i feel better with every new day!


Your first video about this is how i found you.. and you are just awesome for who you are.. spacey doddie is an inspiration.. i have chronic pain and its so hard to be in pain  a l l  t h e  t i m e  and having to accept that it is like that and make the best of it.. i know its a complete different thing but at one point i did feel like in a dream state trying my hardest not to feel my body because i couldnt stand the pain anymore and feeling like i could slip into something i wouldnt be able to control it and i started to look into it and you popped up and you are so cool and cute and talented and yeah thank you for being you ♡


firstly, this whole video really speaks to me and it really idk is very comforting to hear someone else talk about it. secondly,,, the energy of this video is so lovely. the soft knitting sounds, the light, and just calmly discussing depersonalization, i love it. ty


I only found out a few years ago what I was experiencing had a name, and I wasn’t alone. I remember telling my mom when I was like 8 that “I feel like I’m watching myself” and especially now more often than not I’m dissociated. Nice to know I’m not alone anymore.. do you have any tips, Dodie, to make it feel better? I haven’t talked to any kind of professional about it.


Depersonalization is kinda like being a fish in a fishbowl. You're physically seeing the world outside you, you can feel the movement but it all comes in mushy and wobbly. Experiencing the world through the glass wall. Like if you move a fishbowl, the fish inside moves with it, but it also kinda just wobbles. <br>It's not....bad, it's just what it is.

Depersonalization is kinda like being a fish in a fishbowl. You're physically seeing the world outside you, you can feel the movement but it all comes in mushy and wobbly. Experiencing the world through the glass wall. Like if you move a fishbowl, the fish inside moves with it, but it also kinda just wobbles.
It's not....bad, it's just what it is.


I’ve heard her talk about this before and I’ve always just absorbed the information, tried to visualize/feel it, etc., but this time I just started tearing up? About 3 minutes into the video I just... felt like crying.


This video makes me feel a bit better when it’s so hard to be sick all the time. “It’s okay because it has to be” is a sad but true reminder. I have chronic dissociation from trauma too and it makes me feel a bit safer knowing there are others out there fighting the same thing every day, so thanks Dodie


Ive been experiencing this especially badly lately, it feels like Im going crazy.


Nice to see this video, I often feel the same way with the whole depersonalisation thingy. Alot of the time I feel like I should be doing something else but I don't know what I should be doing, kinda like time is running out to do stuff but I don't know what to do if that makes sense? But anyway I appreciate this video, nice to know I'm not alone and that we will get through these frustrating times. Thank you for sharing, it's hard to talk about these things, so I understand what your going through. ✌


Before I knew what I was experiencing was actual dysphoria, and before your original introduction video, I had no idea this was a common occurrence.

And even better now that I know these two things, I feel more equipped to handle it. Thanks for speaking up. <3


It's good to know there are more of us who have, and are coping with all these symptoms, it makes me think it's worth it to stand up again.


Hello to all my depersonalization pals! I’ve struggled with that shit for years and I just wanted to say that I know it sucks, but please don't beat yourself up for it or anything. Go to therapy or find a hobby and just do your best to live in spite of it 💛

@Traci J it might sound kind of weird, but I started writing songs to try and express how it felt! I didn't think it would work at first but putting those dulled feelings and experiences in the form of poetry made me feel a lot better. It turned a bad thing into art.<br>(Obviously, the same thing doesn't necessarily work for everyone, but I would definitely recommend trying it!) 🥰

@Traci J it might sound kind of weird, but I started writing songs to try and express how it felt! I didn't think it would work at first but putting those dulled feelings and experiences in the form of poetry made me feel a lot better. It turned a bad thing into art.
(Obviously, the same thing doesn't necessarily work for everyone, but I would definitely recommend trying it!) 🥰

Thank you. 💕 What did you do to overcome dp/dr?


i'm sorry you feel like this. you such an amazing artist and omg stop been so cute. <br>i actually never heard about it before. so for me its this whole new information about a health condition, and I think is important to put it out in the world. covid sucks, really, but its gonna be better <3

i'm sorry you feel like this. you such an amazing artist and omg stop been so cute.
i actually never heard about it before. so for me its this whole new information about a health condition, and I think is important to put it out in the world. covid sucks, really, but its gonna be better <3


You were there years ago posting about your experiences with depersonalization when I felt alone and as if I’m the only one experiencing it. Thank you


She is just the cutest human being alive. That hewo in the beginning was everything ♡


thank you for making this video!! there aren’t many people really talk about DPDR. I’ve struggled for so long and feel like people really don’t understand. This was a good way to explain it!


who else now wants to hear her sing "for forever"?

@Vonny Enos OMG PETITION FOR DODIE TO SING BOTH PARTS IN TO BREAK IN A GLOVE

after singing waving through a window i have craved her singing every single deh song (except to break in a glove 🤢)


you always help me feel less alone, so glad we all are not alone in this


Thank you so much for creating this video as well as your first video talking about depersonalization; it introduced me to a name of what I have been feeling for years and made me feel less alone in the world. I am grateful for your platform as a creator and all of the art and knowledge you share with us. Thank you dodie. <3


Thank you for being so raw and honest about your personal struggles. I feel as though I may be experiencing depersonalization and I never knew much about it before your videos. About a year back I ruptured my eardrum really bad and I still experience really bad vertigo at times from it. I feel as though vertigo and depersonalization do not match well at all because I feel spacey not only mentally at times but also physically too. Anyway, I digress. Thanks again Dodie ❤


awww hey dodie. I haven't been diagnosed, but i've known for some years that i experience dp/dr. And i have been since... forever basically. My memories are all foggy and unreal, so i don't even know since when. I love when you talk about it, it makes it feel less invisible and trust me, it makes me feel understood. I understand and experience everything you mentionned in that video. And same thing for the covid perspective. Thank you so much, truly. Love u from Canada xx


Thank you for sharing. The beauty and rawness of everything you produce is probably thanks to the way you are. Thank you for being the way you are.


I didn't even know what depersonalisation was as a concept until I read your book and realised that you were describing my exact symptoms over the last umpteen years and decided to actually google it. I'd never been able to explain it and I just thought it was me overreacting most of the time and assuming I was different when I wasn't, and it was kind of a relief to realise that it's an actual thing, even if I can't really do anything about it. I've been saying that this year feels like what anxiety feels like, but you're right, it's more about depersonalisation than anything else. Anyway I just wanted to say thank you. ❤


Hearing you talk about this really makes a few years of my life make more sense. Obvs not gonna self diagnose, but when I reflect on my most depressed times, I was so disconnected. I would try to focus so hard I'd forget what I was even focusing on, I'd get lost in my head all the time 'daydreaming', everything felt like such a blur and I barely remember it. Brains, man. Fckn weird things.


woah! this made me both sad and happy, its like a window was just opened by a peep to let a lil bit of air in, now i know what depersonalization is and gosh i feel a lot less worried about being a vaguely 'bad' person for not fully being... there. it sucks but thanks for talking about this <3


Can it also be time travel? Because I still feel I'm in March and that nothing has happened all this time. also you HAVE to cover Lovin' you by Minnie Riperton after that tease

That song was popular when I was a kid... I'm surprised Dodie would know that song.

Yeah... to me it never has felt like 10 months this year


Thank you ever so much for bringing yourself to discuss this and help us understand that uncertainty and feeling like we're in a bit of a bubble (this might mean different things to different people but to me, it feels like I'm not as aware of the people around me as I used to be prior lockdown and that's very unfair on those people) is not so crazy as sucky as it is. This community that you have created where we can understand each other a little bit better, although we are different is so comforting for the very reason that we can reach out to eachother and listen to eachother's experiences. Hopefully more people can have access to this if they need it and hopefully feel that they are being taken note of. I can't possibly imagine what it feels like to have to try and hustle and possibly survive at the same time of dealing with icky sort of feelings. So if you are a person struggling in any type of way, you rock pretty darn hard!


hello dpd family <3 i love you. its hard to find something that long term cures symptoms without causing other problematic side effects. we do what we can. we experience what we can. it is what it is because while yes it sucks we cant change it yet so we might as well no dwell on it in the meantime. therapy is a godsend. find a good therapist if you can, i know especially in the usa it's quite expensive if you dont have health insurance that covers it. best of luck. you're not alone. there are a lot of us floating in the  ~*weird little spacey universe * ~


Thanks so much for your vulnerability. Shit, you <b>have</b> tried a lot! . It being a response to complex trauma makes a lot of sense. It sounds like you're very well-informed. I respect your attitude toward this so much And I'm truly wishing you the very best. How did you knit letters like that? I wanna know how to do that! 😝

Thanks so much for your vulnerability. Shit, you *have* tried a lot! . It being a response to complex trauma makes a lot of sense. It sounds like you're very well-informed. I respect your attitude toward this so much And I'm truly wishing you the very best. How did you knit letters like that? I wanna know how to do that! 😝


I first encountered depersonalization and derealization through a video of yours and wow did I feel connected to the things you said.
I was so sad and relieved at the same time, that the way I had been feeling all this time... that there was an actual reason for it.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! It has helped me immensely with getting a diagnosis and proper psychiatric care and, well, my journey in general. Thank you so much for being the amazing human being you are and sharing your story so honestly with us! ❤


i’m having back to back panic attacks and have done for several weeks this quarantine, idk what to do but this video helped a bit


I didnt know there was a name for it.  Thank you for speaking about this.  Sometimes I can feel that I’m grasping into the moment - trying to memorize reality but I know it will slip.


I don't think I've ever been able to thank you for talking about this topic! I got diagnosed with GAD very recently, and I've been dissociating a lot for the past 4 years. Dissociation is how I experience panic attacks, even. I feel like my entire body has shut down on itself and I'm just stuck inside and can't feel anything but hollowed out and spilling over at the same time? I'm sure you experience it differently, but your first video talking about your condition made me feel less alone and hopeless and like I was just overreacting or sth. Ever since, I'd been steadily seeking help, looking for therapists and psychiatrists. I've been taking medication and doing grounding exercises and taking little steps to be kinder to myself, and whenever I fall and relapse, I go back to your music and the stories in your book and these videos, and I feel a little bit lighter in a good way.

Thanks for helping me feel a little less mad, and for helping me put a name to the weird stuff my brain does. I hope you take care, and I'm so stoked for your album!!!


i love this kind of videos <3 you're awesome dodie


one of the things that i find the most discomfort in this condition is dissociative amnesia. often with my childhood friends, they tell stories from when we were super young, growing up on the same street, and i feel like it is in vivid technicolor for them but a stark black with bits of grey for me. is this something you have experience with? (or any kind people in the comments really!) again. thank you for opening up about this part of your life. like you said, it’s comforting to not feel entirely alone.

wow!!!! this response is overwhelming, thank you guys for sharing. there is something so deeply painful in a way i can’t exactly describe about hearing stories <b>about</b> yourself from the people who were there. it’s always left me with a sense of feeling, half hearted i suppose! it’s nice to know that i am not unique and i am not alone. wishing all of you the best in these uncertain times!!! take care of yourself!!!

wow!!!! this response is overwhelming, thank you guys for sharing. there is something so deeply painful in a way i can’t exactly describe about hearing stories *about* yourself from the people who were there. it’s always left me with a sense of feeling, half hearted i suppose! it’s nice to know that i am not unique and i am not alone. wishing all of you the best in these uncertain times!!! take care of yourself!!!

big mood - I didn't realize how badly my mental illness had affected my memory until I went on antidepressants a year ago, and slowly but surely, everything sharpened up a little. It's nice to have progress, but it's horrible to know that those 19 years of memories are just ruined

all the damn time, i unfortunately have started getting it with short term memory too and even just flat out unable to concentrate on conversations. when i was younger, i definitely struggled more with remembering things when it came to friendships. then it went to just remembering only the bad memories. i started having dissociation since i was 14-ish and now i'm 22. my mind honestly draws a million blanks and it sucks a lot when i want to join in and remember the things everyone else does. instead, i just get faded feelings or nostalgia of what it was like at time and how they made me felt, not every moment can be recounted but like an overall sense of how that person made me feel at the time. its gotten me into so much trouble though as I find myself glossing over many important events that were positive and where people have helped me which then i seem so ungrateful.

I'm not gonna lie, this comment actually scared me because of how accurate it is. My best friend since kindergarten will tell me all these things we did or that happened as kids and I just have absolutely no recollection of any of it. I very much understand that feeling.

I don't experience derealization but Dodie has talked about how it sucks that it comes with a bad memory. Something that struck me is an instagram post she made saying that after a great day she sometimes tells her friend Shannon that she's scared she won't remember it, and Shannon answers "Then we'll just do it again" which I think is really sweet!

I think I understand because I have a similar thing with my memory. The only childhood things I really remember come from photos and videos or stories that other people have told. Most memories that I do have feel more vague and grainy


hii dodie. i have depersonalization disorder as well, and i really appreciate you spreading some awareness of it. it helps me to see you talk about it, and helps make me feel less alone. thank you


im recovering from a panic attack that i had over the idea of being in the same place as strangers and i realized dodie is the only person i wouldnt be that afraid to meet for the first time :") i just know she wouldnt judge me

im recovering from a panic attack that i had over the *idea* of being in the same place as strangers and i realized dodie is the only person i wouldnt be *that* afraid to meet for the first time :") i just know she wouldnt judge me


Hi!! Umm I just wanted to say thank you because I watched your video talking about derealization a couple of years ago and it was the first time I realized that I had derealization and it helped me so much to know that I wasn’t the only person in the world who felt like that. I had felt really alone for a long time and watching that video made me a feel a little bit better. Thank you dodie :)


I’ve realised how I’m really spaced out again. I’m sitting in my chair all day in online college and nothing seems real. I’m listening to people I’ve never seen, have classmates I had no chance to meet. There is so much that is changing and I feel completely alone.


I definitely experienced some mild dpdr in high school - would zone out all the time, felt like the world wasn't real, and wanted to explain it to the school counselor when I started missing assignments bc it didn't feel like anything mattered, but had no idea how to.  Grateful for people like you raising awareness so I'll know how to explain what I'm experiencing if/when it happens again.


Oh dodie thank you thank you for making this video. I have depersonalisation/derealisation and you're right it's so good to know I'm not alone. Some days I'm glad my brain has this defence mechanism (especially during this pandemic) but it's also upsetting sometimes because I have no choice or autonomy over my own brain. Thank you for sharing. sending virtual love

Oh dodie thank you thank you for making this video. I have depersonalisation/derealisation and you're right it's so good to know I'm not alone. Some days I'm glad my brain has this defence mechanism (especially during this pandemic) but it's also upsetting sometimes because I have no choice or autonomy over my *own* brain. Thank you for sharing. *sending virtual love*


you helped me put a name to what ive been feeling for years with your first video on depersonalization and im really grateful :( it sucks especially bc i cant have medication or therapy to at least Try to feel better but it is what it is i guess haha..sending lots of love n good vibes to u!!


I wasnt aware of depersonalosation, I am glad that you are discussing it and so open about it. This year had been tough and everyone is doing so well to get through this huge change, that we have no control over. X


I'd like to say dodie looks so stunning and gorgeous in this vid wow !!!! and also that she always says exactly how I feel in exactly the way I would explain it and it genuinely makes me feel like I'm a person again and I'm not insane and people can relate to how I'm feeling so... thank you sm dodie lol =)


I have only experienced depersonalization once for about a week and I couldn't imagine experiencing it for so many years, I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this. The fact that you have talked about it has been so helpful though, and when I was experiencing depersonalization I had previously seen your video talking about it and it helped me a lot to understand what was going on <3


Thank you for making us feel less alone in dpd!


thank you for this dodie. the thing i enjoy most about you and what has made me want to stay by your side is your acceptance that things are shitty, and that you go through shit, but you try your best and you do what you can in the moment. i know you struggle with the expectations others have for you, but know that i don’t hold an expectation for you, i just enjoy what you give. and i hope you know we love you as you are :)


Thank you for these short little 10 min videos, they really make my day x


Thank you for sharing ✨♥🤗 I suffered this as a teen


I have been struggling with anxiety for years, and when it gets extremely bad - depersonalisation kicks in and although it doesn't make me feel "better", it's still a change. And I am grateful to my brain for trying its best to manage my anxiety with tools it has, although it's not a cure. It's not getting better, but I find solace in the familiarity of it at this point. It's not as new and scary, as it used to be. I totally understand the comparison with arm pain: I don't always acknowledge it, if it's just in the background, and I guess I have to thank my brain for finding ways to distract me. It's always there, it influences my life... but it's also the only life I have. I can only carry on as best as I can, even if I am not as mentally stable, as some people. We all have our struggles, and I am getting more familiar with mine, which is way I don't hate ageing. Experience does help a lot.


I love how all of us love dodie so much so we all investigated and already know her secret muahahahaa


Hi!! I can relate. Especially limiter. I'm in a DP/DR group on FB.  Except I haven't been diagnosed. I have had other symptoms more prominent and it's a struggle to actually talk to professionals about it. I'm not really fighting.


Yesterday I went to hospital after my depersonalisation tricked me into thinking I was having a heart attack but then when I got there it made me believe it was all a dream and that everyone hated me for making it up.

I needed this video today to remind me I don't make it up and my brains an arse hole xx


I just wanted to thank you for talking about this. If it weren't for your first video on depersonalization I never would have been diagnosed as I thought everyone felt what I was feeling. So thank you for raising awareness and thank you for being amazing!


As someone who has experienced depersonalisation for as long as I can remember, it is so comforting to hear you talk about your experience.  I have never met someone who I feel really gets what it's like to feel detached from your body 24/7 (it doesn't always feel shitty, I can be happy and depersonalised). But this doesn't take away from the fact that I wish it wasn't there at all. Just thankyou, for sharing your wisdom and light about this horribly unspoken about issue (at least in Australia) <3


About 3 years ago, I think, was when I saw your video about you talking about depersonalization/derealization and it all made so much sense to me, I had been constantly trying to figure out what it was that i was feeling and your video just clicked for me, though I haven’t been formally diagnosed so I won’t yet say it’s what I have, but it’s definitely what I most relate to. It scares me a lot and I feel like I’m forgetting everything because I’m not connecting to it and I space out...I want to say so much more but I really just want to say thank you for ever coming out with that video, it helped me know I wasn’t the only one, I love you dodie ❤


Love u Dodie❤ This might sound really bad but I do feel some kind of comfort from this whole pandemic situation. Suddenly most people's highs seem to be lower. I'm on the autism spectrum with OCD, derealisation, anxiety, depression and all that shit. Now many people are concerned about germs, are housebounded, have anxiety etc...I feel less alone knowing everyone and everything is on hold, not only me. The gap between myself and others feels a bit smaller for once.


When I saw the title of this video I was like FINALLY! SOMEONE SAID IT! I have been constantly thinking of your video these past few months because I was feeling the same exact things you were describing.


omg i didn't realize how much i needed this until now.

during extreme lockdown,  i had numerous panic and anxiety attacks (much more than i would used to), and was never really quite able to put my finger on what it was.  but i finally do! "spacey" is the perfect word for it.

i told my mom after a few of them when i was really starting to worry and when i felt my self starting to slip away from reality... and of course, she was worried at first, but then kind of just brushed it off and never really did anything about it. which i guess is rightfully so, because i never brought it up again (even though they were still happening).

she later suggested i visit the school counselor. and so i did. but i felt completely out of place and awkward, and that i didn't connect with the counselor at all... so, after the first session, i told my mom that i was feeling better and wouldn't need any further help.

when i seriously thought i was losing my shiz, i Googled the symptoms, and "depersonalization" and "derealization" were the first results to pop up. i felt incredibly relieved that i had finally found a word for it, and did some more research on it until i was sure this is what i was feeling, so that my mom wouldn't worry for nothing.

i wish i could say that she doubted this... but we never discussed it again.

and now, here we are.


wow ,, you put what i have been feeling with dpdr in words. I love your way with words , so comforting ,, I love you dodie 🥺💜


I know I have three things she said anxiety, dysphoric, and I have issues with disordered eating. I always knew I depersonalized but fo so long i would just have panic attacks scared and confused not knowing what was wrong with me and only recently ive accepted that that is what it is. After accepting that its been a lot less difficult considering ive been able to acknowledge the issue at hand. I assume that its a big portion from dysphoria because I tend to look in the mirror and say that GIRL has a attractive body tipe, but she isnt me because I am not a girl. But I also have depersonalization farther than dysphoria related, for example forgetting what i am and not knowing my own personality and not really being able to understand empathy and thats saying a lot considering I am an empath. Im happy that I have finally pined this because I kept feeling as if I was having issues that no one has, I would try to look up things but nothing pointed towards depersonalization, usually the symptoms would point to schizophrenia but I am positive that I do not have schizophrenia. I feel like this is something many dont talk about, maybe because when we have it we normalize that it happens to us, and it can sometimes be brushed off as a form of panic attack.


I don't experience it constantly, but when my anxiety levels climb I can recognize derealization going on. Hours and sometimes days go by without me noticing. It's like life has shifted out of reality and the wheel to turn back doesn't really exist. I started making the connection between hightened anxiety and derealization through your videos, so thanks, from both me and my therapist.
I am going through an episode of anx+der for the past 1.5 months and this vid made me feel less alone.
Hope this comment does the same.


Thanks for sharing! You explain it so well. We’re not alone!


I've never heard of this before. I disassociate family often and I very much feel this way everyday... it's like a zombie mode you just go through motions. I have anxiety/PTSd and depression, so maybe this is just my new normal after years of trying to cope. Time to get back into a mental health professional. Thank you for this viddo!


I have dpdr so I feel this on a spiritual level 😅 it's just something you get used to, and when you're friends are like 'oh honey are you dissociating ATM?' you have to go 'honey, I am always dissociating lol' 😅 I did a mental health video the other day, so check it out maybe if you have time? sending you love dodie 💖💗💕❤


I love that you have brought depersonalization to the forefront. I had never heard of it before you brought it up, but I started experiencing it probably.. 2-3 years ago. I am an elementary (primary, in the UK) teacher. The first time I noticed myself depersonalizing I was in the middle of my classroom with 20+ kids around me, it was so scary. Just felt like none of them were real. I wasn't even there. So very scary. It has become a bit better, but it is definitely hard to get used to. I haven't felt high's and low's like I used to since developing or noticing that I had this. It is nice to hear you speak about it though, if it weren't for you speaking about it I would have probably thought I was just going crazy. So, thank you.


I just got here, but I already completely agree with this title. I’ve been feeling less and less like a real person being inside and isolated this long.


Was watching your video literally last night about this hoping for an update soon. This has been hitting me hard this year, thanks so much


I also struggle with depersonalization! I'm 17 and I'm still struggling to figure out to drive and feel safe with it? I'm scared I'm gonna loose my focus and die horribly or something haha. Ha.

I’m also 17 and I’m also having the same problems with driving Lol. I’m afraid that while driving everything will just get too blurry and I’ll forget that I’m driving and cause a bad accident


"It's okay. Because it has to be." This line really spoke to me


Never been diagnosed with depersonalisation but all the signs are there. Thanks for sharing.


Hello hi, you helped me realise I had depersonilisation and derealisation a few years ago now, and though nothing has happened with regards to solutions etc I feel so much less alone and I'm very thankful to you for that


This is something I had to deal with a long time before covid, because I'm disabled and mostly housebound. Covid-time has been weird because actually more people are around to hang out with online than before, but weirdly I feel I can't really relate to what everyone else is feeling about it. This is my permanent reality, there never will be a time I can "go back to normal" like everyone else has said. So in that sense I super relate.

At the same time, I feel like I've settled in to my little homebody life and in a lot of ways I love it. I can still experience joy, love, etc. Just because there's a "limiter" on my happiness (like you said, again, hard relate), doesn't mean I don't get to experience joy when it is here. I'm not going to fall into the trap of "this is good, but I'm still sad because it could be better". I'm just going to be happy that it's good.


Thank you for all your videos on depersonalization/derealization it really helps me explain my own brain to friends and family


Hi hun, I totally get it. We do got this. Great ending and exceptional hand graphs.


wow ive been going through this as well 💕 comforting to know you are too


I messaged you on Instagram about it. Didn’t know you were still dealing with it. I learned that when I ignore it and say it’s not there, that it starts to go away


Thank u thank u thank u dodie x u are often a light in my depersonalised times, I v much appreciate it


Back when I saw your first video about depersonalisation/derealization years ago it literally changed my life. I felt so relieved that I had a name for the thing I was feeling. I felt so confused and alone and it made me so happy to see that I wasn't alone and that there were people who experience the exact same thing I do, especially people I look up to (you, for example). I'm not officially diagnosed but I'm finally in the process of getting into therapy and hopefully getting an official diagnosis and the proper help I need. I never would've done this if I hadn't watched your videos about it. I just wanted to say thank you for bringing awareness to this mental illness. You really are changing people's lives. Thank you so much, Dodie.


this is so corny but I want to give u all a big hug honestly everyone here deserves the best<br>YOU DESERVE THE BEST

this is so corny but I want to give u all a big hug honestly everyone here deserves the best
YOU DESERVE THE BEST

Haha thanks I want to give you a big hug too you deserve it, unlike me :)


hearing you talk about your experience was the first time i was able to vocalise what what what happening to me and im really grateful for that


I used to have dpdr years back for a few months. I got better and i almost forgot that i had it.
I can see it in your face what i used to also feel like.
Im sure you will get better
Aaaand you look gorgeous


As someone without Depersonalisation this was the best description of it I've ever gotten


I remember a year or two ago at work I had chronic stress/anxiety that led to derealisation. I was chatting to a colleague and when they finished their sentence and just looked at me for a second I could have sworn they were an NPC in a video game like Fallout or something, waiting blankly for me to pick from a list of responses on screen to advance the convo/plot. It didn't feel like he was a real person at all. I couldn't avoid recognising at that point that I really wasn't feeling normal anymore. I'm not sure if the 2020-spec mental fog is <i>exactly</i> the same as that, for me, but I do feel a bit half-alive and full of background dread. Thankfully there are nice relaxing people on the internet to listen to.

I remember a year or two ago at work I had chronic stress/anxiety that led to derealisation. I was chatting to a colleague and when they finished their sentence and just looked at me for a second I could have sworn they were an NPC in a video game like Fallout or something, waiting blankly for me to pick from a list of responses on screen to advance the convo/plot. It didn't feel like he was a real person at all. I couldn't avoid recognising at that point that I really wasn't feeling normal anymore. I'm not sure if the 2020-spec mental fog is _exactly_ the same as that, for me, but I do feel a bit half-alive and full of background dread. Thankfully there are nice relaxing people on the internet to listen to.


i really should start again looking for a therapist, I've kinda felt like this for ages now. not as bad I think but relatable and constant ...


I hope you’re okay besides everything dodie, I also experience it, though not all the time, and it is hard. I won’t give advice just support from far away and so much love and good vibes.


the way you described it perfectly described how It works for me. it feels good to not be alone


Thanks for sharing and inspiring.  I have dp, it came on all of a sudden when i was cycling through Bulgaria. Dizzy spell than bang, reality left. 4 years later and I'm still trying to get back to normal. I've also tried all sorts of treatments, I get obsessed with something, think it will be a miracle cure but never is. I think the only way to get over it is by fixing the way you think, but I have obsessive thinking and just go around in circles. I am improving though and think I'll get there one day. I've had a few flashes of what life was like before and its so nice, if I could feel like that all the time I would be the happiest man in the world. Anyway, wishing you all the best, I really appreciate you sharing so I don't feel so alone with it.


I also have depersonalisation and it’s how I came across you years ago, you made me feel less alone because it’s incredibly lonely as you would know. I was diagnosed at 17 and I’m 24 now and relate to what you said so much about just not being bothered about the symptoms anymore and in a way it is comforting when I have an episode because I would MUCH rather be zoned out then be having a panic attack. Thank you always for using your platform to spread awareness, it does help! I tried to make a video on my channel years ago lmao. You describe things so well that are almost impossible to describe. Big love to you dodie <3


It's so weird, I'm not sure if Its considered that I have depersonalesation most of the time I'm like 96% ok, but then every couple of days-week or so I get really depersonalised for a few hours- a few days. Idk it's weird


It's how I've felt my whole life and because of it I can't bring myself to shower or brush my teeth more than around 6 to 12 times a year and rarely do laundry or clean my surroundings. I space out a lot and often have debilitating vertigo.

I never rode a bike, danced, rollerbladed, swam, or drove a car. I've never even attempted more than a part-time job because I know I can't handle it and I've been unemployed since last year.


It's so nice to see another person, especially a fairly large YouTuber who has the same detachment disorder as me, talk about it online. I've had dr & dp since 8 years old & I experimented with weed at 16, it made it 10x worse, when I feel myself slipping into depersonalisation, I've noticed, the more I try & figure out why it's happening, the worse it gets, it happens most often when I'm in a restaurant or a room with bright lights and there's lots of loud chatter, a quiet, dark/dim room makes me feel calm and peaceful :-)


I've always felt like I could be in a coma and not know that's how unreal my life feels. I used to enjoy feeling refreshed by the sun... I miss that


when dodie went  " la LA LA LA LA la la la la aAaAaAahaahahaaaahaaAaAAA " at the end, i felt that


It's really tough. In March I had heard about a depersonalisation clinic that opened in London and was going to follow up with it, then everything with the virus kicked off. I was excited that such a thing even existed though. Best of luck xx


I have never been diagnosed with depersonalisation, but I can relate to the experience you describe. My gender dysphoria has just become a catch all for anything that hurts me mentally.
We got this... I hope!
Stay well Dodie.


Dodie, honestly you really nailed it on the head in terms of describing what depersonalization feels like.


Honestly I get some depersonalization symptoms one i get that's the strongest I call "dream state" and as you may guess its like Im in a dream but awake, and I can not imagine being stuck in that state my whole life.  My heart goes out to you all


What a good time to post this, I was just talking about how I feel like I'm forgetting something and I don't feel fucking real and or sane anymore because my quarantine :)))


You speak on my frequency

In a depersonalization way

It's hard to tell people what it's like but you do it well


Hmm wow you explained this really well. I don't experience depersonalization or derealization in my normal life but I totally get this and your so right. Life is weird.


I didn't know why i attracted to your music so much, now i know. We are in this together. 🥺


Sometimes I get this thing where you know when you look at the sky for too long and then you come into the house and it's all dark and weird? I remember becoming aware or "waking up" as I've dubbed it when I've had conversations with someone and completely forgot I was in that moment. When I do wake up my visions all dark like that. It also feels like I've been sat there for ages and also only a few seconds at once. I used to have panic attacks a lot so I always thought it might've been a part of it lol. I'm just sat listening to this person talk while my brains working rapid fire to try and piece together what's been happening in the past minute.


omg we'll have a whole dodie rainbow soon

Her new brand. Just don't blow it up in her face or she'll get over it.


GOD this is SO real!!! i started feeling the effects of derealization/depersonalization in 6th grade, then it got worse and worse in high school to the point of not knowing what was wrong with me or how to fix it. i got tested for eyesight problems, for sleep problems, for seizures, etc because i couldn't even figure out how to describe what was wrong with me! i remember when dodie posted about depersonalization for the first time i started crying because i finally figured out what the fuck was wrong with me. and every time you talk about it i feel further validated. having a ceiling on the highs of my life, panicking when it gets worse which just fuels the cycle, finding ways to forget about it, feeling worse on vacation because it's an unfamiliar space and because i'm trying extra hard to enjoy my life.....i relate SO much to all of this!! thank you for putting a voice to p much exactly how i feel. and the way that covid relates to all of it is also so very real. thank you thank you thank you & i love this so much


It wasn’t really until your video you made about depersonalization/de realization that I realized how I felt and experienced things wasn’t the norm. Like there’s a veil between me and the world, or I’m dreaming when I’m supposed to be awake. I went to so many eye doctors by I thought I was going blind but every time they always said I was fine aside from just needing glasses. But I never wanted to believe them, because if everything was fine then why did I feel like I couldn’t see properly or my brain wasn’t registering it? The video you made resonated with me but I brushed it off because I didn’t want to self diagnose or claim that I experienced that when so many other people probably had it worse and I was just being pathetic. I remember experiencing that feeling beginning when I was about 10 (I’m 22 now) and I thought that everyone felt like that. Thank you for being open about this, it’s extremely comforting to know that I’m not alone in this. I moved to a new city right when things started getting super crazy, so that was a massive anxiety inducing change of being outside of my comfort zone as well as not being able to see people or leave the house, i spent about two whole months feeling like I didn’t really exist or I couldn’t tell what time it was, what day, and it was scary. I’m a little better now, but again, thank you for doing what you do, your videos bring me so much comfort and I’m so thankful that you have talked about this and been so open. Sorry for the long post ❤❤


As u said is so good to feel you are not alone, thank you for speaking about it


i hope you read this dodie i really like your videos you helped me so much whenever i felt alone i listen to your songs/videos ♥♥


knitting is really the cure to all of this, isn't it

It's what have been keeping me sane and floating instead of sinking these past months.


Thank you for talking about this, i feel so alone with this alot and you talking abt it helps


I can't remember if I've been like this since I was young, or if I've only been like this for a shorter period of time than that, but I just can't remember what I felt like beforehand because it has been so long. I'm currently almost 22 and I think the most likely answer is that I first started experiencing DPDR both during and shortly after panic/anxiety attacks when I was 6. Then somewhere in the next 10 years, it started to become a persistent state of my everyday life in which I can't now remember what it's like not to feel the symptoms of DPDR.

It's been debilitating at times, caused me to question my own reality, sometimes I can ignore it enough to enjoy moments, and most of the time it's just there as a casual state of my mind that I grudgingly accept even though I don't want to. A lot of times it feels as if I've been thrust into the wrong reality and only have loosely familiar memories of my past life. On a daily basis, it feels like my real self is trapped behind a thick wall of glass, floating around in a void and desensitized from everything both outside of myself and inside myself. Then something else, my autopilot of some sort, is what controls my daily actions, only sometimes trying to communicate with the person behind the glass. Obviously, I know none of those things are true, but they're the best metaphorical explanations I have for this.

I've never had a name for it until this year and now that I do I hope I can start some more rapid progress towards hopefully someday not feeling like this anymore, but it's still something I'm slightly pessimistic about because I also have other conditions that make it difficult to stick to routines and have enough energy to make general progress in my life: ADHD, severe depression, severe anxiety, and POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). The biggest struggle has been identifying what exactly caused DPDR so I can best know the treatment I need.

My current theory is that it could have been caused by either having a severe anxiety disorder, possible extreme brain fog from POTS, or childhood trauma. Another issue for me that makes it difficult in terms of recovery is that I don't remember much of my childhood or feel connected to the memories I do have, so I can't definitively say what could have caused DPDR.  It may not be necessary for the treatment of DPDR, but it's definitely painfully confusing to be experiencing this and not have a real answer as to why it started. I've seen everywhere online that it is possible to recover, but just like you said, I'm finding that it's so far not happening in my favor so I've kind of learned to just live with it. I really hope though that more research can be done about this and that everyone dealing with this, especially for long periods of time, can eventually recover because I believe it's possible.


I feel so much better when I see people talking about it online thank you so much for these videos they have literally saved me


I have DID and other forms of chronic dissociation and it just means so much to me that you’re open about it. Thank you 💗✨


Me: it looks like dodie knits backwards THAT'S WEIRD<br>also me: Wait im left handed 😂😂

Me: it looks like dodie knits backwards THAT'S WEIRD
also me: Wait im left handed 😂😂


Stay strong and keep going forward. I try to do that


I can’t tell if it’s just depression causing me to not remember really much of this year, even pre COVID, or if it’s DP/DR especially because I had never even heard of it until right now. <br>But either way, I’m glad to be made aware of it,

I can’t tell if it’s just depression causing me to not remember really much of this year, even pre COVID, or if it’s DP/DR especially because I had never even heard of it until right now.
But either way, I’m glad to be made aware of it,


I wasn't expecting to get a hilarious and 100% accurate cover of a song my parents play frequently but I don't know the name of, but I am grateful for it


omg I feel exactly like this and all but I always feel like I’m making it up and don’t wanna get called out for “seeking attention”
like, it totally gives me anxiety but it also just makes things really frustrating. Like, I’m really just trying put things together and be a person but it’s hella hard. It’s always just here and I haven’t been present since like before the pandemic and I’m so hella scared about it not being better ever again and the pandemic has REALLY just made my shit dissociate so much it’s more often than not that I’m here

sorry everyone just kinda wanted to vent lol have a neat day everyone


THE HARMONIES AT THE BEGINNING AHAHJHSSH


Hi! First symptom of my depression was depersonalisation and omg, the ups and downs bars make so much sense cause, since I was beginning to sink looow in a depressive episode (I had some other shit going on besides it, it felt like my head was the world's worst smoothie) and was depersonalized all the time, I could feel much shittier than I ever had before, and I also couldnt real happiness. It sucked. And I was only 15 so like, all my memories before were of a child's happiness, you know? I didn't know how teenagers and grown up people felt happy, so I just didn't know what happiness really felt like if it's not cause by an amusement park or yogurt candy. I'm better now, I almost never feel depersonalized, but depression still kicks my functionality (which is already not that good) down. But you know, it sucks, I know it sucks, but somehow it felt also like superpower, in the sense that "you can't really hurt me sweetheart, I'm already dead inside and feel no connection to reality whatsoever". If there can be a silver lining to something like that.


This really gives me such a good way of explaining what I feel to people. Before COVID started I used to have sorta bouts of derealization but after COVID has happened it’s pretty much just never stopping and it makes me feel like I’m trying to swim in maple syrup just trying to deal with it all the time.


i understand now why i like covid time bc it’s forcing everyone else to experience similar feelings to how i’ve felt for a while now


I felt the exact same for a long time. It felt like nothing would help my symptoms. The only thing that’s helped has been ‘parts theory’ and understanding structural dissociation


On a good day, I'm maybe 90% alive 90% of the day. On a bad day, nothing is real and I lose time and forget where I am and don't eat. Today I was maybe 80% alive - got a single food in my body, but only one, did an exam, but nothing else. It's an accomplishment nonetheless.


You have much support! We love self care and encourage it


Hey, until I heard you talking about your depersonalization I had no idea what was up with my brain. I get those good good robot feelings quite often, and don't feel like I'm a real person with actual emotions. It was really nice to know that what I was experiencing was real and an actual thing.... Anyway, thought I would share.


im constantly disassociating and parts of me like it because its how i cope and am able to function day to day, but its hard when you cant remember a thing youve done and you feel like youre just drifting through life blindly, empty

i want to be able to tell my story through a youtube video or podcast but i can hardly even keep a conversation going because of it now and embarrassing to never finish a convo with someone because my brain simply shuts off


the limiter analogy is so specifically on point, and it really helped me understand what I am going through


“when COVID was around” [cries in American]

COVID is still very much around in the uk lol :(


I feel you so much, I developed derealization from smoking too much/bad weed (I honestly don't exactly know), it was only a couple of months for me, but the scariest thing I have ever experienced. I send you my love!

That’s super common! Thank u my b, sending love right back!


its always nice to hear that i'm not the only one going through this shit


I have moments of depersonalisation and some days where it goes on all day. And my god it sucks. I cannot imagine living through it 24/7 and I hope that I never have to. So I send all the love to anyone who experiences it. And thank you Dodie for talking about it❤