I'm dealing with anxiety and depression and it sucks because I can't tell my parents because they 'don't believe in mental illnesses' and im not close enough to my friends to feel able to talk about it I just feel so alone


ever since i began watching my fave youtuber, I've been really depressed. no one understands how i feel and they keep pushing me away purely bc they cba to help me. im really really scared, and i cant tell my parents how i feel as they will tell me its nothing or im making it up and wont let me get help 😖


you are allowed to cry in front of your audience. you are allowed to take time away from YouTube. know that depression takes time as well anxiety. you have taken bigger steps than I would have. thank you for being role model for me.


OMG i just sometimes feel exactly the same!!!!!!! <3


I've never never seen anyone really talk about depersonalization or disassociation, so thanks for this. I havent had to deal with really bad depersonalisation in a year or two but, it was really good (?) to hear someone talk about it so frankly and honestly about how weird and crazy and floaty it all feels. And I wish you so so much good luck! I just really really appreciate this video. I hope youre feeling a little more real these days. I feel like I have so much more to say but basically just thank you for being so real (lol), and thank you for making this video and talking about a less common side of mental illness and for being brave enough really, cause talking about it can be really terrifying? But yes, I really appreciate this video a lot


I'm 14 and a while ago I had a few days of feeling very strange. I wasn't sad it was just nothingy, and I felt like I was up in the sky watching myself walk around instead of being in my own body. It wasn't an out of body experience or something, it was like I had been replaced with an airy high person. It was very strange, and worrying. I don't know.


Hi to whoever is reading this, I want to share my story so far.<br>School as been dreadful to me, I've lost my friends.... I feel like as if I don't even exist. I hated when people pitied me. Its absolute trash, I wanted something better. I feel like no one cares about me. Usually I'd sit by myself and mutter things to myself. I was insecure. Pretty much I'd give all my food away 'til i was left with fruit. One day I just thought about school and how mad I was at myself! I was crying because I feared everyone hated me. Now you may not agree with me but I've learned friends are never there for you.... Except family. I'm still getting used to build myself up again, but yeah. Thats my story, bye!

Hi to whoever is reading this, I want to share my story so far.
School as been dreadful to me, I've lost my friends.... I feel like as if I don't even exist. I hated when people pitied me. Its absolute trash, I wanted something better. I feel like no one cares about me. Usually I'd sit by myself and mutter things to myself. I was insecure. Pretty much I'd give all my food away 'til i was left with fruit. One day I just thought about school and how mad I was at myself! I was crying because I feared everyone hated me. Now you may not agree with me but I've learned friends are never there for you.... Except family. I'm still getting used to build myself up again, but yeah. Thats my story, bye!


dodie what you just described is scarily similar to what I'm feeling right now. i went into collage the other day and was asked if i had done drugs my concentration was completely gone and i felt to disconnected it really hit me then that there is something wrong but i just cant even bring myself to get help. you saying this has helped me realise that im not alone and it is real and im not just losing it. thank you


I get so angry over doctors that say mental illness isn't real, because it is and when you are in that situation all you need is help. <3


I am so fortunate to have grown up in a family and community where mental health was, for the most part, understood and accepted. I have been seeing a qualified psychologist for four years and a school councillor previous to that and have recently started medication to control my anxiety as I am about to enter some major life changes. I thoroughly appreciate that you have made a video about this (even if I'm a bit late to find it) and that you are able to talk about it at the beginning stages of receiving help because it allows people who have never been told that it's okay to get help, to have the courage to recognise and sort out their own issues. Maintaining your mental health is so important and I love seeing people like yourself, use their platform to discuss it openly; so thank you.


Dodie I love youuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know this comment is hella late but I can relate to you. It has never gone to your level but it has gotten it close and then I am usually able to get it away before it gets serious. But I love you! And thank you for being you! I love your videos! All of it makes me so happy! Your voice alone just cheers me up and keeps me from crying on my most depressed days.


omg i thought i was one of the only people with this.honestly i feel like that at times.


I'm really scared of getting a doctor, but it's inevitable. The only therapist I ever trusted was only allowed to give me 6 sessions since it was through my schooling and I am now bejng referred to a therapist outside of school. She would be the fourth one I've been to yet my previous one is the only one I feel like I only ever had faith in. It's so daunting to know it's possible I could never see her again, I don't want to feel alone anymore but in some strange way it's like I'm scared to be happy - it's like I've been so used to being depressed and in the dark for so long that I know if someone turns on a light it's going to hurt my eyes. I feel like I'm going insane, I've been diagnosed with severe depression, social anxiety, body dysmorphia and acute ocd. I don't want to be defined by my mental health issues, but it's like they're the only thing I know now. I just don't want to be alone - I honestly can't see a way out of this. I just wish I wasn't me.

Hey there bud, YOU aren't defined by your mental health issues, they are just shaping your view on the world a lot right now. But you as a person are a lot more than that! You have a lot more things to give the world, and to get from it, and those things can happen whether you have mental illnesses or not. I'm really sorry you're having to leave a therapist who you've connected with and who's helping you, that's really sad. Can you talk to her about whether you might be able to contact her in the future, or if she can at least give you some advice on how to ask for the things you need from your next therapist? It's understandable to feel scared about the idea of suddenly coming out of the darkness, but it's not really going to feel like that - these things change gradually (and that's how you know they're sustainable - little steps that lead to steady change), so you'll have time to adjust. You might possibly already be taking some of those steps now yourself, if your therapist has been helpful. It's going to take time, but you can make it... there are a lot more things you have yet to be, and some of them are going to be really wonderful.


I understand what you mean, Dodie. I don't often feel "out of it", as you described, but I do feel like it sometimes. The depression and anxiety usually don't surface until I'm alone, which makes it super difficult to show anyone how crap I'm really feeling. I only ended up actually trying to make a difference when I tried to hurt myself at work for more-or-less 4 straight hours. I went to a doctor about a year ago, but she didn't think I had any problems, and gave me the number for Let's Talk (basically, Let's Talk helps you with your mental health issues. I think) (also note: since I was feeling pretty darned crap, being given a phone number to call was... to put it simply, bloody terrifying). I went to a group session on negative thinking - helped a teeny, tiny bit, I guess. I'm now taking St John's Wort, a herbal antidepressant (basically. It's not exactly a herbal antidepressant, but it's used to relieve anxiety and low mood. I'm on the high strength ones), and I feel okay. Not 100%, but better. I had a good couple of weeks where I felt... normal. I felt happy, and could experience things the way I wanted. I even felt proud of myself sometimes, which is bloody amazing. I think it's just general hormones that have brought my good mood to a halt recently, to be honest. Well, I hope. I really was enjoying feeling happy.

Sooooo yeah. To anyone who happens to be scrolling through the comments (and Dodie :D), if you feel like crap, or you even suspect something might be wrong but are opposed to seeing a professional for whatever reason, I would recommend at least giving St John's Wort a try. Even if it does nothing for you, at least you can say you tried to make yourself feel better <3


I have crippling social anxiety and have struggled with depression since I was 13, self-harm since I was 14, and depersonilasation since I was 15.  My parents don't really understand mental health and don't seem to grasp how much I'm suffering going to a large high school.  I have had many panic attacks during which I feel like I am dying and going crazy.  We are no longer able to afford therapy and my mum mon't let me take medication because she thinks I don't need it despite what my doctor said.


I really can't believe how much I relate to you.


This had literally been the worst year of my life 😒 literally 5 days in and something happened that I got blamed for when I was the victim, but since then, my heads just had a cloud blocking everything and I've pretty much just felt depressed and like crap


I feel like that but not to where it's debilitating. I feel like everyone is real and I'm nothing. It's not something you can turn off. There are many things wrong, I need to work on my brain but I need to get out of this place to do so.

Cheers, dodie, hope you find your happiness.


I've been sleeping very bad over the last few weeks and last thursday I started feeling really weird, like everything I said wasn't coming from my mouth and it felt like everybody was constantly looking at me and if I did or said something I immediatly doubted if it really happened. It was like I was living in this cloudy world and I felt like crying the entire day and I didn't know why. That night I typed into google: I feel like I'm living in a dream, what is happening? and the first thing that came up was depersonalisation and then I remembered watching this video and I watched it again and I got really really scared, especially the messages at the beginning sound like the thing I experienced. And I know that this may be just a temporary thing or maybe it's the lack of sleep or the fact that I don't live close to my family anymore, but I now know it can last for years and that makes me so scared. I want to be me again..


i've watched this so many times. this video is a bit old so you might not even see this, but this video gives me so much comfort. knowing other people feel this craziness too is strangely consoling. i absolutely love your videos because you're so real and down to earth and watching your videos makes me feel a bit better. i'm so so sorry that you're going through this, too. does therapy help? i really want to start seeing a therapist, but i'm not even sure what my problem is so i don't know how they could help me, ya know? anyway, thank you for existing and for making videos like this--hopefully we can all get through this together :)


I have panic attacks and I know exactly what theyre about. A secret I've told nobody ever and I want to tell people but I just can't I will never. I'd like to try therapy but I always feel like I'm just always nagging and I don't want to talk about my problems idk I just I feel like how dodie described in her texts


I was 11 when i first got depression and i am 13 now,and i overcame it kind of and i see it as an achievement now like i MADE myself believe I wasnt crazy and DIDNT need help and that these are just thought and i dont need to be loved by someone to live and that I AM stronger than a silly thought in my head and jus BELIEVED in myself to overcome it and now whenever it comes back i thinkIm stronger than this i can do this i control me not a feeling So its okay to cry i tend to do it out of sight and be sad let it all out BUT just believe in yourself (sounds cringey-IT DOES WORK THO) and ITLL GET BETTER :)


I have anxiety and depression, but have learned to deal with it for the most part. when I get real bad, I have a couple friends I can talk to


Did anybody feel this way while in pospartum depression? im going thru this. i literally think im insane. i was about to leave my family n baby. cuz this its just too much


thankyou for posting this! I have issues with all of these things so thankyou


Okay so I watched this video when it first came out and was one of those people that didn't really understand it but I came back to watch it because recently I've had periods of time when my hands or my feet don't feel like mine and I'm all numb. Idk why I'm sharing this with the internet but my grandad  died of cancer right before Christmas and when I came back to school I had exams so I was just like ahh major anxiety and then the 'depersonalisation' started (I don't want to call it that because idk if it is that) but yeah like in the exams I felt like it wasn't me writing or I feel like I come out of a room and everything is too bright and too fake and I'm just numb. It's so scary because everyone else can carry on as normal whereas I know that it's not normal


'Here's the thing, I am alive, I can breath, and eat and talk and sleep and see and feel. And objectively I am fine, so why am I not?' ouch, I feel this too much


I really should be sleeping rn but I'm glad I didn't go to sleep early otherwise I may have never come across this channel or video. I relate a lot rn to everything you said and I'm glad you openly talked about your mental health issues as there's such an unnecessary stigma surrounding it still. Hope you are feeling more yourself now and/or have lots of supportive people around you. I'd like to end this with one of my favourites quotes which you may or may not like... "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” - Krishnamurti ☮♥


I'm in the face of depression. I feel it coming, I know that it will arrive soon. I'm just dealing with so many things, I feel like a ticking time bomb and soon I'll explode or fall apart. one of my friends cuts and it's partially my fault, another friend has anorexia, I have a crush on my best friend, I have terrible insomnia, I have awful self esteem, and JUST TODAY I found out that my grandma only has a few months to live before she dies of Leukemia. honestly, I feel like I can't hold up anymore.


I know how you feel...I am going through same thing...


I have the exact same issue. is it depersonalization? is it just lack of sleep? what is it?! I can never understand why i feel so off.. and weird.. but i relate so much. i know its so hard to talk to people but I am always here and your fan base is fucking amazing! i wish i had this support. I love you dodie. We love you.


I completely understand. You are so strong for getting a doctor and making this video. The exact feelings you have are not fictitious, and you are not going crazy. I am so sorry you also have to to deal with this, but you are so strong and beautiful and one day you will see the stars sky and the sun and stars again and not feel the weight of life on you chest, and you'll be able to smile and laugh again. Don't give up. There is a way out. :)


happening to me right now... how do i calm down? 😱😓😥😰


ive had depersonalization for 4 years now 24/7 and at this point i dont know whats real or not


Whenever dodie even gets on the BRINK of crying I start crying, what's happened to me


Dear Doddie,
Hello I am a 11 year old girl and I go to a counselor for my anxiety and because sometimes I feel like I want to die I don't know why I feel this way but I do. I do not have schizophrenia but there is just a little voice that pops into my head at times and says "I want to die" and "just stop torturing yourself and end it" and because I don't feel welcomed or safe here on earth, but you and a lot of other you tubers have helped me in staying happy though I am still going through this I just wanted you to know how much you have helped me and one day I hope to meet you  (and the company of Hamilton) even if you live in England and I live in Texas.
~ a lonely potato


its so weird how much i relate to you...im kinda sad that i didnt find you earlier


I get tho. my mum always tells I'm making everything up but I'm not. I know I'm not. you don't just randomly start hyperventilatingm you don't think like, yolo I'd like to hyperventilate now let's do it, when you're sitting in class or at a party. Finally took a step to get help


i depersonalize on a daily basis and it lasts almost the entire day lmao fun times


I hate how I always feel the only thing that helps me is YouTube and dodie that's exactly how I feel everyone else I see through a window even if I'm outside their not me I'm not them they are normal and I'm a robot and I hate it and I hope you can get better dodie 💖


I have depression when im at school, i had friends, a lot of friends, but now in 7th grade i feel like i have no friends. They still talk to me, but i feel like they talk about me behind my back. At home on the weekends i feel so very happy. I dont know. My mom said that both sides of my family has a history of depression


i derealize a lot (which is sort of similar but without the out of body thing) and recently it's been really bad. when i watched this i just started sobbing because of this ME TOO feeling and i lost it when she started crying wow. I'm so sorry dodie, i get it (ish) and its awful and i hate it too and want it to go away too


CBT is amazing. That's all I can say xxx


On Christmas I felt alone and confused. I put on the happy emotion. What I mean by the happy emotion is what I call a Fake emotion. I don't remember how being happy felt. So what I do is smile and laugh. Yes I do laugh and enjoy myself but once I'm done being "happy" I feel so horrible. Like I'd done something really wrong. This happened at least two months ago and it wasn't that bad, I mean it was bad for the first week but after a while I got used to it. At least four days ago (The day before Christmas Eve) It got at least 80-90 percent worse and I feel so fucking strange. I can't speak to my mum because she doesn't understand and she would cry. My dad has been suffering with depression for a few years but I can't talk to him. My girlfriend doesn't understand although I explained it all to her. I've been listening to Secret For the Mad on repeat and it's helping.

I

Am

Alone


it's so strange to me, not in a bad way, but in a curious way. cuz I used to have the opposite feelings of this, from the time I was about 10 up to last year I struggled with this thing that convinced me that everyone around me was a projection of my imagination and everyone was a robot and I was the only real human. I'm not sure why it happened but it did a few times a year. it hasn't happened in a long while and I think I'm getting healthier mentally because I now have genuine friends who are lovely and adoring. I don't know what my point of this was. I hope you are getting better. You are truly one of my biggest inspirations in life. <3


I'm sad, I tell my self that I'm ok. I try to describe my feelings but I just end up making everything worse. I keep pushing it aside because I think it will get better. I don't know what to do. Everything is just a mess. I'm afraid to talk to people about it because I keep telling my self that what I feel isn't reel. But, if these feelings aren't reel why do I ceep crying. It's my fault for feeling this way, I don't know how to fix it.


I've been having panic attacks about death and just an overall existential crisis for about...well honestly I can't remember when it started. They've just kind of always been there. I also find myself half of the time, feeling no emotions whatsoever. I just feel nothing. I'm not happy or mad or sad or hungry or tired...And on top of all of that, I get these weird instances (kind of like how you described, Dodie) how you are there, but not really. I can still feel and see and hear, but it almost feels like anything I do has no consequences or reactions. I can't ever explain it...the best I can do is say it feels like a dream, a dream that is terrifying enough to be a nightmare because you feel trapped and nothing can pull you out of your delusion or...whatever the hell it is.

But the worst thing is, whenever I try to talk to anyone about it: friends, parents or others who are close to me, they all don't understand or take it seriously. "It's just a teenager thing."   "Everyone goes through that, just stop thinking about it."

What am I supposed to do?


i hope everything goes better doddie, i also kinda felt the same and cant figure out what is it that i'm experiencing, i know im not happy it's just recently i realize that i feel depressed, empty, and all of that after kinda ignoring those feeling for a year or two, plus having a mid life crisis, and someone really important died, wow.. i can't even, but i hope everything goes well for you!


I've been feeling similar to you and would like to start making youtube videos to kind of talk about it and maybe just do some fun things.. could you do a video showing your set up?

Jillian Ellis if you ever wanna talk about it, feel free to message me @meepismeeptastic. I feel exactly like dodie and I would love to talk to someone and not feel alone for once...


this is gonna sound weird but I'm sure it's probably completely normal (I've never told anyone about this before though) But like sometimes when I am doing something really exciting that I never thought I'd be able to do (for example when I finally found my dream horse and test rode her for the first time before I bought her) for a few seconds I always have this weird out of body feel where I feel kinda dizzy and in my head I'm like "wow I can't believe this is really happening" and questions myself on whether I'm actually just dreaming it all or not


There's an app called Smiling Mind that's really helpful for me :)


I wish I didn't know you what your talking about but I door and now I'm watching someone I love feel the exactly the same way and don't how to stop it or fix it.


So I am literally bawling because for once someone is describing what  have been trying to describe for months and, it's so scary. I'm young. 13 years old young. I am so terrified about what is happening to me. I remember one day I didn't know how to function correctly. It was like I had lost all my coordination and my eyes were wobbly and I just remember crying all day. I have this constant feeling like, me, myself, I'm in a cloud in the sky hovering and flying over top of my body just watching me go through life, without, anything. It is really scary and i don't know who I am, or what I am anymore. Like somedays I wonder if this is even real life or if it's a dream, or if I died in my dreams and this is the afterlife taking me through everything that has already happened. I am just really scared Doddie.


Ignorant therapists are honestly very damaging and invalidating to those who are suffering mental illness, but to reiterate Dodie YOUR PROBLEMS ARE NOT INSIGNIFICANT THEY ARE VALID AND YOU DESERVE HELP, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS


I pray all you younger [OR ANY AGE]  people can accept these problems are real...if you feel anything is different, odd or scary, or intrusive, depressing or making you feel a panicky feeling...because today in 2017 so much is now medically known and so much progress has been made in the studies of mental illness.   There are good treatments now and new ways to cope. You are not alone!  NEVER GIVE UP HOPE.


I have a lot of symptoms for depression (for 2 Month now) but I haven't the worst ones like suicidal thoughts. And I don't know what I should do now bc my parents wont take ma serious, they'll just laugh at me and say that I'm too young (I'm 15) and   I haven't any problems, I have though.
Does someone know what I should do? It really botheres me.
I also feel a lot like I'm seeking attention or something like that


80% of ppl saying they feel the same have twenty one pilots on their profile pictures
damn it skeleton clique were broken people
stay alive i love and i wish u good ❤


ive been trying to get help, and my mom took me to a therapist who told me that if i cut myself i would just heal back up, and so i stopped talking to people about it because my mom calls it a "poor me phase" and just doesnt understand, help please


I just constantly feel so different.Like it's consuming me and the only thing I can hear and see and feel is just, I don't even know it's just a constant feeling of not even knowing what I'm feeling andI just feel so useless and worthless.<br>I just can't even get happy, lets take Christmas for example, lats year I was so excited for it I liked to spend time with my family and my brother an laugh with my sister and then this years Christmas came around and I didn't care, now this may be just because I'm getting old and it's less exciting and I didn't want to be wth people I just wanted to stay in my room and play the keyboard, then my brother came it and we started to play piano and I realised what I was feeling.I felt like I was missing something yet I had no idea what I was missing then christmas was over and I was lying in my bed and i just kinda just let some tears out nad I hate that I've let it get to the point were I finally realise I'm not okay.I keep obsessing over my onw thoughts and I constantly feel like I just aren't alive because what the point I hate going outside or hanging with friends cause I'm scared and nervous that I'm gonna do something wrong.I've realise how little life that I have and how the best moments can go by so fuc8ng fast, I just don't want it anymore.I just want to be sitting on my parks swings with my best friend next to me and some of my other friends on the other swings as we watch the boys(one of wich I may have a crush on) play football or mess around.I don't care if I'm happy or confused or sad I just want to feel somthing again.I'm sorry that this made no sense I'm just trying to make sense of my thought.'My thoughts are stars i can't fathom into constellations'

I just constantly feel so different.Like it's consuming me and the only thing I can hear and see and feel is just, I don't even know it's just a constant feeling of not even knowing what I'm feeling andI just feel so useless and worthless.
I just can't even get happy, lets take Christmas for example, lats year I was so excited for it I liked to spend time with my family and my brother an laugh with my sister and then this years Christmas came around and I didn't care, now this may be just because I'm getting old and it's less exciting and I didn't want to be wth people I just wanted to stay in my room and play the keyboard, then my brother came it and we started to play piano and I realised what I was feeling.I felt like I was missing something yet I had no idea what I was missing then christmas was over and I was lying in my bed and i just kinda just let some tears out nad I hate that I've let it get to the point were I finally realise I'm not okay.I keep obsessing over my onw thoughts and I constantly feel like I just aren't alive because what the point I hate going outside or hanging with friends cause I'm scared and nervous that I'm gonna do something wrong.I've realise how little life that I have and how the best moments can go by so fuc8ng fast, I just don't want it anymore.I just want to be sitting on my parks swings with my best friend next to me and some of my other friends on the other swings as we watch the boys(one of wich I may have a crush on) play football or mess around.I don't care if I'm happy or confused or sad I just want to feel somthing again.I'm sorry that this made no sense I'm just trying to make sense of my thought.'My thoughts are stars i can't fathom into constellations'


Breane (a youtuber) also has depersonalization. Check out her channel


trust me, it does get better. it takes a lot of time, but it will get better.


is this a thing? depersonalization? i feel it alot, like it's not real, and it's odd and just kinda uncomfortable and makes me feel unreal. i really relate to Dodie on the level about the past and just wanted to go back but time passes is fast and there's no way to just stop and i hate thinking about that because it makes me want to cry. i wanna go back to when i was little and lived with my dad. ugh.


"Just turn it off. Just shut up. Just stop talking about it. Stop obsessing over it. You're attention-seeking, you're making this up, and you're making yourself believe that you're ill." sounds like something straight from that lil voice in my brain~


poor baby, shes shaking god i want to hold her :c


Hi Dodie, I am Piper and I am going to be 13 on March 24, I have depression and anxiety and I don't really know what to do about it?? I have told my mom and I have gotten a doctor and a therapist but it's not working?? I know this is an old video but if you see this comment I would love some advice, Thank you!


Anyone with depersonalization
Is not crazy
Your actually completely fine but you not understand how.


I would go to a therapist and we do have a councillor at school and a couple of my friends go to her but they have told me that it doesn't help and it stresses them out when they talk to her and she asks them personal questions. I have been putting it off cause I hate opening up to people and I have serious trust issues because of a few thing in the past and I don't think therapists help at all.  It might just be me but I'm terrified of talking to strangers about my life and my personal issues. I wish there was an alternative to therapy that I could do and it could have the same effect.


Hi. Idk if anyone is going to see this or not but sometimes I just start sweating and start having trouble with breathing . And I sometimes feel like all my friends and family all of a sudden just hate me . And even if people compliment me, I don't feel "pretty" and just not myself and I just live in the past. What do I have then?


please, could you let me know what do you usually eat during the day, and for the past week. it's definitly some food that affect your gut health. please let me know.


I'm a very joyful person and I have depersonalisation it's horrible !! the worst time I had it was the other day when I asked my crush out (she said yes😍😂) but the whole time I was just spaced out and confused and seems it was the other day even to now I'm thinking 'is she actually my girlfriend?' 'Is she a real person ' and it's so scary and horrible!! Xx


I don't feel like I would be anyone or anything without whatever I have my 'demons' I guess. I don't know who I would be I just feel like I couldn't possibly exist without them and I don't know what to do about that because if I get rid of them then I just won't be anyone I just don't know what to do but I really hope that she is feeling better


dodie, mental illnesses suck. But that doesn't mean you aren't normal. It also doesn't mean you can't do normal things. For me, the best advice I could say is to surround yourself with positive people, so when you're alone, you're thinking about the things that you and someone talked about, rather than all of the reasons why life sucks. It's something that helps me, I also take medicine to help me get to sleep faster so when I'm not thinking about the things I did that day, I'm sleeping. Dodie I really hope you feel better about this and are able to find a coping method. I'm still looking for one, but hopefully this will all change soon.


My mum always said to fake it till you make it which i know is a business term but it might help...


hey comments sorry for interrupting your scrolling and feel free to ignore me.

lately I've felt like I can't feel I don't find things funny or sad or happy or emotional. I just feel dull. like a light that's going out. I'm only 14 so don't know what to do but I know this isn't normal. my mum suffers from depression and I don't feel close enough to any of my friends to make them understand. they would think im making it up. I feel alive but not human like I have no emotions. it's horrible and sad and I don't know how to cope. school pressure is adding to this feeling and I don't feel like there's an escape. I feel bored and tired and not completely sane. I feel I'm acting all the time and don't know what to do


if you have denationalization issue's maybe its not the best idea to have a social media personality for now, just a thought


I feel like i am literally going mad.  Its because of a a bully who won't leave me alone.  My stomach hurts and i feel like kinda killing myself and I've never felt this way before and its like i am gonna pop and explode or somethnig.  yup... i think i'm crazy


Can someone please explain depersonalisation to me? I still don't really get what it is.

Oliver Seddon ok I experience it quite a lot and basically imagine that you always feel tired and drunk and you just want to feel sober again. It also affects your memories so they feel like dreams and what is real and what isn’t sort of mix and your brain just goes fuzzy for a while


Not all of this is mental... A lot of this is physical, check out Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome.


I have derealization & De(e)p ersonalization


Check out this free audio book on youtube. "the power of your subconscious mind" by dr. joceph murphy. I don't believe the bible parts but is otherwise a great book.


What is normal🤔 is it what society thinks is acceptable


im only 14 so i might be making shit up or being stupid and making assumptions but i think i have depersonalization? I have two types, like sometimes when its more mild i just feel like Im in locked in a tiny tiny box inside my body and I'm gonna wake up any minute, and then when it gets bad (which is usually when im really tired , sometimes combined with an adrenaline rush) i feel like like floating above myself and the world and I lose control over everything thing I say and do, which usually goes away after i sleep and then im back to the first feeling?


It’s my bday and I’m sobbing at night since I’m depressed. I hate it

Kate Weibel happy birthday, stay strong. Sounds like really cheesy advice but please stay strong you'll come out of this


Did she surpassed it?Ihave the same thing and this week its so bad, if shes ok now ill get hope


And it hurts and I spend my days crying and some days not feeling at all. And everyday feeling like I'm not real like I'm looking through a window or I'm not sure how to explain. No one reads the comments anyway. I am in so much pain and I don't know how to feel it anymore.


Guys I need your help.<br>I'm someone who overanalyzes a lot and feels like shit everyday. When I'm happy, I forget that I feel like shit (it's like a distraction) but when the happy moments are gone, I'm just left with worthlessness and self-doubt.there are times when i'm happy, but sometimes I remember that I am happy and it makes me guilty being happy and I feel like i deserve to be miserable. So I overanalyze again and I can't have fun and be happy without feeling guilty and everything is just shitty. And at those really bad moments where I experience emotional, mental and/or physical distress, I just sort of space out. Like I know it hurts but it doesn't hurt as much as my feelings. Like this is the primary reason why self harming doesn't work for me because I just kinda space out when I go through physical pain that's extreme (I have a low pain tolerance) and it doesn't distract me from my emotional pain. I know I need some kind of psychological help but I don't know what it is. Like I don't have a label for it and I'm just confused.

Guys I need your help.
I'm someone who overanalyzes a lot and feels like shit everyday. When I'm happy, I forget that I feel like shit (it's like a distraction) but when the happy moments are gone, I'm just left with worthlessness and self-doubt.there are times when i'm happy, but sometimes I remember that I am happy and it makes me guilty being happy and I feel like i deserve to be miserable. So I overanalyze again and I can't have fun and be happy without feeling guilty and everything is just shitty. And at those really bad moments where I experience emotional, mental and/or physical distress, I just sort of space out. Like I know it hurts but it doesn't hurt as much as my feelings. Like this is the primary reason why self harming doesn't work for me because I just kinda space out when I go through physical pain that's extreme (I have a low pain tolerance) and it doesn't distract me from my emotional pain. I know I need some kind of psychological help but I don't know what it is. Like I don't have a label for it and I'm just confused.

I can relate to the feeling happy when you're distracted part. It's like, "you were laughing with your friends a few hours ago, you can't be that unhappy. Get a grip." But then if I have to drive or something and can't distract myself, I end up a bawling mess. I'd really like to stop feeling so terrible.

It's been a month since you commented. How's it going?


I'm just upset and angry about the stupidest things and I wanna scream and yell and throw things, and stay in bed forever and forget about school and people and everything.


Nothing makes sense to me anymore. Not only do I not feel like others or myself is real but I also feel like what will happen when we die none of this makes sense will it ever ? Is this all s dream?


the best way to treat all these problems is CBT, you can put your attention to this branch of psychotheraphy.


Is anyone else jealous? Not because she has this but because she can get help, I’ve told my parents I feel empty and sad all the time and I get panic attacks but they just say I need more sleep and need to do more exercise, personally it doesn’t help and I just wanna know what’s wrong with me, I just want to go to the doctor and know what’s wrong with me


When I feel depressed or I have anxiety I can't think straight or people want to think for me or tell me what to do or they make me nervous or get after me why can't they let me handle it I don't need there advice on how to take my deportation or anxiety away I just need someone to lisson to me and try to understand so then why do I ask them


this is kinda irrelevent but does anyone like, actually convince themselves that someone they care about (for me its always this girl i have a crush on) is watching them? like, just from their house on a tv. they are watching me go about my day, and it just makes me feel less lonely? i sound crazy but idk like i know they obviously arent watching me but at the same time whenever im alone i am just so convinced and just feel them watching me and i feel much less alone. idk i think im just weird

emilie I felt this starting around 16 or so. I’m 35 now. And your comment made such a great connection to me and how I felt. I didn’t know how to describe it to anyone because it was so weird, but I’m seeing this now. With your comment as a big helper!  I wonder- what caused my brain to shift this way?

emilie omg wtf YESS!! I’ve never wanted to tell anyone coz I thought they’d think I was insane


i know this is late, and you are probably not even reading this but Dodie, please don't pretend. i have learnt this. i pretended for years then there was this one person, someone i love and care about and one day it just all came out. nothing was right, and she helped. I'm not going to say I'm fine now, because I'm not, in fact at the moment I'm pretty bad, but I'm talking to her, and I'm being kind to myself. i want to dislike this video because i don't want to like something that is so horrible and bad. so I'm not going to like or dislike it, sorry. i wanted to say how much you have inadvertently helped me by just posting such realistic and relate-able videos that make so much sense and are so true. so yeah...be kind to yourself and thank you SO much!


how does one get help if their parents don't believe in mental illness?


Im 17 and have had depression and anxiety for a few years now. Its so hard to put most of the symptoms in to words. Anyone else whos going through this as well stay strong you just have to keep fighting and eventually you will break free <3


This broke my heart. Because I've been through this before. I love you, Dodie, and I hope you're better.


Thank you Dodie, I needed to hear this. About two day ago I had a anxiety attack and I haven't been the same since. My mind blank and I feel like I'm a robot. But now I'm getting help so thank you so much


Recently; I've been feeling that I'm not really there and now I'm glad you've brought to light something in which you can explain this, depersonalisation


4:15 That really broke my heart, Dodie I know what it is sort of.. Cause I'm going through something quite similar to what you described and I just wanted to say that I love you and I'm happy you exist and you got me through a lot.  I know you won't see this but I hope I can meet you one day. You've helped me so much thank you. <3


Thank you for making this video because I feel this way! It was so crazy because hearing someone else describe it made me feel so validated! Thank you for your video! 😭💕


I'm relatively new to your channel and when listening to your songs, I noticed the continuous sad tone to them and I was honestly terrified that this was the case. I'm so, so sorry Dodie. We're all here for you. I know you can get through this 💜💜


OMG Dodie you're wonderful! Thanks for sharing this video, there's so many people out there with mental issues, anxiety, depression... I'm exactly in the same moment you're now and it really helps seeing that we're dealing with it kind of the same way. I'm sure that means we're on the right path =D<br>Keep it up!!

OMG Dodie you're wonderful! Thanks for sharing this video, there's so many people out there with mental issues, anxiety, depression... I'm exactly in the same moment you're now and it really helps seeing that we're dealing with it kind of the same way. I'm sure that means we're on the right path =D
Keep it up!!


Wow, I just have to say thank you for this video.<br>I've known for a long time that I have depression and social anxiety, but the depersonalizations feelings that you described are similar to what I've been feeling for longer than I can remember, to varying degrees. And looking it up I'm almost entirely sure that I have depersonalization disorder or something similar. I've literally been looking for the answer to what this feeling is for so so long, having no clue why I felt like this, and finally finding an answer to it? Just wow, I'm relieved

Wow, I just have to say thank you for this video.
I've known for a long time that I have depression and social anxiety, but the depersonalizations feelings that you described are similar to what I've been feeling for longer than I can remember, to varying degrees. And looking it up I'm almost entirely sure that I have depersonalization disorder or something similar. I've literally been looking for the answer to what this feeling is for so so long, having no clue why I felt like this, and finally finding an answer to it? Just wow, I'm relieved


i relate to this so much and am also finally talking to someone about it, and it feels like its helping a little bit! i'm happy you're also actively working through it also!


I watched this video before I experienced derealization. Now that i'm in the midst of this, I'm taking in this information very differently. Thank you so much for sharing your experience.


This has helped me out more than you know. I made a video on my anxiety and I'm doing a series following my journey with mental health and I want to thank you for sharing your story. ❤ stay strong. I know it's hard ❤


thank you. I've known I've had depersonalization for a while but recently its heightened and watching this back has helped put into words how i feel. thank you for this. hopefully we'll be alright


I've never heard someone describe depression so in line with my personal experience with it. I'm also 22 and so much of what your saying is what I've have been working on for the last two years. Thank you Dodie, there's times when it's nice to be reminded you are not alone.


I started to feel like this a while back and I thought that I was insane and it's nice to know that I'm not alone.


I thought I was the only one,  Dodie thankyou, so many times I have felt some way that my family cant relate to and I feel like I'm the only one and then I find videos of yours like this and it makes me feel so much happier to feel not as alone


Thank you for sharing your experience with this, I didn't know there was a name for it until today. I have experienced things similar to this in the past but it usually only lasts for less than a few days. I find it useful to write down lists and facts about myself and my life as well as looking at photographs or spending time with my family. I've always had really strange phases where I feel super weird and disassociate myself from my surroundings wich often happens when I read a book or get into a tv show. Like I can't separate my world from the world in the book. Anyway, it's helpful to know others feel this too. Love you Dodie, :)I hope you get the help you need


I'm experiencing depersonalization from 6 months EVERYDAY, I know exactly how you feel, it sucks because you would live your life, and you know everything around is real but you can't actually feel as it is. It calmed me a little but knowing there's someone out there who feels my same way


I never knew that there is something like depersonalisation, but it just perfectly describes my feelings. I don't know what to say about it... thank you so much for putting this out in the world!


Ok this is how I have been feeling for a long time. I totally feel you dodie you are not insane. I feel like I'm on another planet than everyone else it's so weird!!! Thank you for sharing this. I so appreciate it.


I just wanna say... thank you. I feel like I don't have as major problems as other people, but it's nice to see someone else dealing with anxiety and talking about it. This video really helped.


I want to thank you for speaking so openly about this
I'm 13 and I deal with depression and panic attacks and everything is so messed up right now
But I want to thank you for being so open so people who suffer mental illnesses like me know that we are not alone
I know you can't snap your fingers and make this go away but we can fight this together.

X The girl who hides behind a book X


i love this , its sort of comforting to know that i am not the only one who feels this way , last year i was so depressed and shuttered for three whole months , i got better but  i still have those days where i cannot shut my mind off , when everything is just too much and sometimes you just want to go back in time when everything was haqqy and not too much. so thank you @doodlevloggle . i am even going to try vlogging , well soon


Damn. I hope you get better soon, you beautiful, talented girl. I wish I could just take the pain away from you... All I can do is send you my best wishes and love. You are amazing and you can get through this - the fact that you see your problem and are seeking help goes to show how strong you are.


This is the most relateable video that I have ever watched. Although I was diagnosed with depersonalisation disorder years ago, this has made me realise once again that what I feel isn't "normal" and that I can't just sweep it under the rug of my anxiety disorder. I can quite clearly see that they are separate things so I can talk to my therapist about it and maybe sort it out once and for all! Thank you so much x


I'm glad that you're working to make yourself feel better. We love you, Dodie. ❤


it pains me so much dodie to see you like this, I love you, we love you ♥♥♥


oh my god. This was so relatable for me, thanks for puting it in words xx


Two weeks ago I moved to uni and got really homesick. My brain's reaction to moving away from home was mild depression. I wasn't enjoying the things I did before and I lost my appetite, which is drastic for me as I usually always feel like eating unless I have just had a massive meal. I felt really alone as none of my other flatmates seemed to have been negatively affected by moving to uni and I every time I was alone in my room I would be crying either silently or down the phone to my parents or on skype to my friends. This feeling of mild depression got a lot heavier after I saw my Mum for a day. My brain thought I'd be going back home with her but then we parted our separate ways at piccadilly circus station and my low feelings got even lower. I was feeling the unmovable darkness that I'd heard of but never felt myself. I was sitting with my flatmates and they were all laughing and having fun and I was sitting there silently crying. I eventually talked to one of them which was a massive help and since then I've been doing better. I guess what I'm saying is even just from that 48 hours snapshot of horrible dark hopeless depression I have become so much more aware of how hard it is. You really cannot escape it and that's what I think gets some of us stuck. It isn't a place you can leave or a person you can stop talking to. It's your brain and you start to question whether this is just you forever. But it gets better. For me, I was just not busy enough to have other distractions from the dark feelings. I'm starting my actual uni course in two days and I can't wait.


I've never been able to put it into words and this is it, thank you


I've come back to watch this after a long time. You're so brave to post this and be able to push through life and handle what you're going through. It feels so funny to say this because I've never met you, but I'm so proud of you for realizing and dealing (not dealing... but getting help) with your mental illness. Seeing that someone I look up to is also going through things like this has really helped me with getting through the days. Thank you.


You're very strong and i'm super proud of you


I feel the exact same way, life is getting incredibly difficult


"I just wanted to get into my old bed, in my old room and feel normal again" oh my freaking god as soon as those words came out your mouth i balled my eyes out. The feels are all too real.


I already know that I have depression and anxiety and I didn't know depersonalization was a thing, and I knew that I felt disconnected but I thought I was the only one who felt like that?? Idk this video helped me understand so much. Thank you


I don't know if you read these, but I can't tell you how good it feels to not be alone. even when I don't feel like me I feel like knowing others go through the same thing helps me feel connected. I wanted to say thank you on behalf of all of us


"I will find a cure"

I wish it was that easy, you said that you're happy that some people don't understand because it means they don't feel this way and never have. To me that's one of the worst parts, people not knowing, not understanding and not even trying to understand. People only see what you let them and not what's actually going on inside and that sucks because if I have a broken arm everyone goes "ooh poor Luke he broke his arm" but when you're so depressed you don't have the energy to get out of bed but you can't even sleep people always seem to think that just "getting over it" is an option, but it's never that easy.
Even other people with mental illnesses won't be able to understand properly, depression and anxiety are different for everyone and people get it in different severities and none of it is fair at all.
More often than I'd care to admit I'll end up crying and screaming begging to know why I'm not normal, wanting to know why it happened to me, what I did to deserve it all but because they are questions without answers it usually just makes me feel worse. I know I'm far from perfect and I know I'm an asshole but I still feel like I don't really deserve everything that has happened to me,  and I know I need to talk about it more but when I say thing like this fact to face to someone I either shut down and can't say anything or just cry. I try to joke about everything because that makes it somewhat easier but when it comes to my childhood even trying to joke about it often breaks me. I don't want to just complain to everyone but I know I need to learn to be more open but in my defence, I'm much more open about life than I use to be but I don't like feeling that all I'm I doing is complain to everyone

Sorry if anyone actually read all of this I just needed to vent

Lepong20 I don't think I can explain to you how much I relate to all of what you just said. Thank you, this is a start on getting better and going and getting help.

Lepong20 it's okay, i feel the exact same way. I understand everything you said. Every time I'm in therapy I am starting ro cry because she makes me realize things that happened to me in the past that I've pushed away for 6 years. And she makes me talk about my feelings and I just can't handle that. An plus that I have anxiety and depression problems (things that she is not seeing) I'm thinking: wow she must be totally pissed that you cry every time you see her. Even though she says it's fine to her. My mind just wont shut up

pahaha really? always hated it, but thanks :)

i read it too and it's so accurate but everything has an end remember that. -we are all here if u ever need to vent some more, u can even vent to me personally if u want to:)))

Lepong20 im here, u can vent, and just to let you know, we love you, and u are strong :3


I don't think you're high and I don't think you're insane. I do think you're goddamn awesome to share this with everyone because, dude, we ALL OF US EVERY ONE have something at some point in our lives and it's real and valid and there are things we can do to help and make it more bearable if not completely better. <br>I hope you are feeling loads better and that there are more good, clear days than not. ❤❤

I don't think you're high and I don't think you're insane. I do think you're goddamn awesome to share this with everyone because, dude, we ALL OF US EVERY ONE have something at some point in our lives and it's real and valid and there are things we can do to help and make it more bearable if not completely better.
I hope you are feeling loads better and that there are more good, clear days than not. ❤❤


I literally experience the same thing all the time, I'm glad I'm not alone


I believe you it's how I feel and I'm glad that someone I look up to is going through the same thing (that sounds mean but I mean it in a nice way)


God I really understand this. Oh lord. Even with meds and therapy and trying to do everything I can I still feel like this. Thank you so much for putting this into words. I always feel like I need to go to a mental ward because I truly feel I need to. Knowing other people feel this way makes me feel a bit more sane.


I'm sorry you feel this way. I recently discovered your videos and since then, you have made me so happy. I struggle with depression and quite a few of my schoolmates joke about depression (not knowing I have it) and it makes me sad because they don't understand how difficult it is to feel happy and how messed up it makes you feel. It's really hard to be in 8th grade to go through all this crap. I don't want to make you feel sad, I wanted to let you know that you have been such an inspiration to be and that you're helping me out of this hole that I've created. You have inspired me to be creative, crafty, and musical. I stared playing the ukulele so I could play along with your songs. Thank you for being amazing and I hope that this comment can make you feel the smallest bit better inside.


I understand how u feel I've had depression and anxiety synse 3rd grade I'm in 7th now and I'm starting to feel way better now all I have is these little sparks that happens for a week then it's done 😘


Dodie. I literally just came across your videos alright night .I have watched quite a few of them, and after watching this one I literally want and need to have a conversation with you. I have never before heard a person out into words what I feel and experience every single day. Our past relationships echo of eachother. I feel like I am being really crazy, but I just cannot believe how badly watching this video made me want to speak with you. It would be simply incredible to exchange thoughts and words with someone who absolutely, without a doubt is in my head and knows my minds ways. I feel a kindred spirt in you girl, it is terrifying, and incredible all at once. ...great things you know. Terrible! Yes...but great. Holy shit do I sound high or what.


So I'm probably really late for this comment section..<br>I was recently diagnosed with chronic depression, anxiety and PTSD and started treatment too. I can really really relate with what you feel because I have felt that way too for years. I'm so glad I found you. I believe you will be ok soon.

So I'm probably really late for this comment section..
I was recently diagnosed with chronic depression, anxiety and PTSD and started treatment too. I can really really relate with what you feel because I have felt that way too for years. I'm so glad I found you. I believe you will be ok soon.


I've had issues since I was 14 years old and I attempted suicide twice in my life (when I was 18 and 22 respectively). After my second suicide attempt at age 22 I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, after months of just going mental (paranoia, auditory hallucinations, and severe mood swings - I'd be laughing the one minute and the next minute I'd be crying my eyes out for no reason). A lot of people are in denial upon being diagnosed with a mental illness but I was just so happy that I finally knew what was wrong with me. I was seeing a psychiatrist for a few months after but I wasn't happy with my progress and decided to start seeing a different one and he has completely turned my life around - if you aren't happy with your therapist or psychiatrist, go see a new one!

Basically just wanted to say to anyone having problems, it will get better - it takes work and doesn't always happen quickly, but you can get better. The road has been shaky at times and I had to quit my job because I couldn't handle the stress anymore, but now at the age of 25 I finally feel happy and normal.


The scariest part of all of this is when Dodie said that she sounds insane and that it sounds like a joke, even though I understood and recognised all of the feelings described. Even the part about the bed. I want my old bed. I want my old room. I want my old self. What on earth has happened to me?


You're not strange, you're not crazy, you're alone. It's okay, we accept you, we love you. Everyone has problems, and they may look different and be different, but they are all valid and are no reason for shame. You're okay. It's all okay. Thank you for your bravery, your heart, and your courage. You're not alone.


wow first of all thank you for this video because i just googled depersonalisation and it felt so good to breathe a sigh of relief knowing that there is a name for what i've been feeling for so many years and that im not going crazy and that im not the only one and also darling one im so sorry you have to experience this being someone who has battled with anxiety, depression, and depersonalisation for years i know the struggle and i wish you a mentally and physically healthy future ( if that made any sense )


i just wanted to say that (and I don't know why) but watching this video really helped, it was comforting to hear that even though you yourself didn't know how to interpret it I felt like I could relate to you, i know that if I made a video like this I'd only be able to express what I feel the same way you have, which is just weird because I've never come across anyone who's manage to explain it in a better way, just the way you talk about what you're truly feeling. I may have just failed at life and got you completely wrong but either way this video really did help and I just wanted to say thank you and I really do wish you the best with everything. <3


Thanks for your advice. I really should go see the doctor. Anxiety and depression sucks :/ I hope you get better!


this video really helped me. i've been suffering with my mental health for a few years and during the last month i slumped. i felt alone, drunk, like life was a hallucination, and completely stupid and that i just wasn't good enough anymore and that i couldn't do anything right . i think my friends had started to see a difference , or it felt like they saw a difference because i just didn't feel like they would understand what was happening. i tried talking to one of them and she just told me to get a good nights sleep. even my boyriend, who has suffered with his mental health for years, seemed to want to push it away because "i was probably just stressed". it got to the point where my mum tried to get me think about what was wrong but she didn't understand until she finally said i was depressed, still don't think she completely understands. i'd already signed up to an nhs service in my area for anxiety so a lot  of the things that i was doing for that online helped me calm down a bit. it's hard cos no one can see whats wrong, and you can't put a finger on what's actually wrong, but everything's so wrong at the same thing. since my really low point i've been trying to focus on one positive thing a day to try and focus myself a bit more on the better things, and try not to let things that aren't worth stressing about take over. but this really helped me today, especially, so thank you ( and sorry for the long-ass comment lol)


You probably wont read this, but I just wanted to say thank you. It's comforting just to know that you're not the only one who has felt like this, just knowing that you aren't 100% alone in feeling this way. Although, I would never wish for anyone else to feel like this. So just, thank you.


I have just bawled my eyes out watching this video which my friend redirected me to. I can honestly say that I've been feeling detached from everyone for the best park of 6 months and haven't been able to describe to anybody how I'm feeling without them thinking I need to be locked up. It wasn't until today when a friend put something up in social media that I talked to her and could relate to her feelings without being ashamed or scared. I am going to seek help because today is the first time in around 2 months that I have allowed myself to cry.


I have been depressed for several months and for me it comes in waves, so sometimes I feel fairly stable and other times I feel absolutely awful. I put of seeing someone for so long and I'm glad that I'm getting help even though it's scary to talk about things. I know what you're going through, it feels like hell and there's days I want to be dead. I just want to be okay but it takes time and even though that frustrates me, I just have to keep trying to fight these battles and not let myself lose.


Just wanna say that I think you handled this in a very mature, responsible way. You realized you needed help, figured out a plan, and aren't letting yourself wallow. You've set a very good example of how to deal with mental illness.


Hey, I just want to put out there to anyone that suffers from mental illness right now that it doesn't stay forever! You will get help and it will get better! It's hard and you have to give yourself time, months, years, but you will heal (or learn to deal with it) and you will have a good life! Stay strong! And talk to people that care about you and to professionals! Wish you all the best!! <3


U really hit home with this thank u Dodie


so I watched this a few months ago because I was starting to see this in my own life but I just kind of put it off hoping it would somehow magically fix itself and that's not going to happen and it's gotten worse so I've gone to the counselors at school and they told me it's <b>moderate to severe</b> anxiety so yay? Good for me? Anyway I'm going to a therapist sometime and I hope it will help me :). Dodie thank you so much for putting up this video I know it can be really hard to talk about it maybe that's why I haven't gotten help because every time I start to talk about it I just forget how to talk..? So it's good to know I'm not the only one who gets this.  Also I think I may have derealization which is basically when you feel you're dreaming all the time idk how to describe it all my friends kinda think I'm insane but that's fine dodie doesn't :))

so I watched this a few months ago because I was starting to see this in my own life but I just kind of put it off hoping it would somehow magically fix itself and that's not going to happen and it's gotten worse so I've gone to the counselors at school and they told me it's *moderate to severe* anxiety so yay? Good for me? Anyway I'm going to a therapist sometime and I hope it will help me :). Dodie thank you so much for putting up this video I know it can be really hard to talk about it maybe that's why I haven't gotten help because every time I start to talk about it I just forget how to talk..? So it's good to know I'm not the only one who gets this.  Also I think I may have derealization which is basically when you feel you're dreaming all the time idk how to describe it all my friends kinda think I'm insane but that's fine dodie doesn't :))


holy crap i've been feeling this exact way I thought I was the only one


I've felt like this for years (depersonalisation). I'm not necessarily depressed anymore but where's the way out of this


it is so nice to hear someone describe depersonalisation in such a way, so open and honest... unafraid...
I've suffered from depression and ptsd since i was very young and i didn't realize it until it manifested into full blown depersonalisation, that feeling of everything being slow, like tredging through a fog that is also like jolly... if that makes any sense.
And no i don't think you sound mad, I think you sound like someone describing what's happening to you and others as best you can.
You really made me feel not alone tonight, and i hope out of all the 7000 comments you find this one.


You sound just like myself. I hope you're doing better now. I hate to know that people are out there suffering with this.


coming back to this because my depersonalisation is getting worse lately, i love you.


Finally, i thought i was weird. Or mad. Or really sick.
i feel like that constantly and i'm terrified that no one undertands.
Finally im not so, idk... finally im not so shut off? Just thank you Dodie. <3


I've been throught that kind of feelings for maybe one year. I know it's a never ending state that just don't leave you, BUT It never comes from nowhere, you have to be absolutly sure of that. Bad Times always leeds you to rebirth, be sweet with yourself, and allow yourself to ask help.
Because you'll find a way to go through. I did. And I swear I felt so bad I tought It was impossible to be fine again, secure and serene. But today, I am. And I think I had to live this feeling to make the peace with a fucking insecurity of my chilhood.

Love


I saw this video when it was first uploaded, but wanted to avoid it because that was a rough time. My sister has depression and anxiety, and this was at about the time after her suicide attempt. And I just didn't want to think about it, i guess my method of dealing was to just completely block it out. Now I brought myself to watching this and thank you. I haven't really had the courage to actually talk to my sister about it but I feel like you have helped me understand the mental illness and what it feels like a little better. And I hope you can keep working towards a healthy mentality! Thank you!


Holy crap this is literally everything that I try to explain to my friends but don't know how. I'm just gonna... Shares video to all freinds
There we go 👍

Holy crap this is literally everything that I try to explain to my friends but don't know how. I'm just gonna... *Shares video to all freinds*
There we go 👍


the thing that makes me the most sad is that i relate to all of this which really shows i haven't gotten better from my depression and i wish i could


wow Dodie I have no words but at the same time I have too many!! someday I'll write you a letter. thank you so much for making this video!! having the courage to share this must have been so hard and you must of thought you were strange but you're not!! XxxX


Dodie you are an amazing, awesome, honest and kind human being; you will survive this. I probably sound so stupid right now because I've never felt severely depressed other than the times when a loved one passed away, but my friend has something that sounds like what you've got. She seems distant all the time and really forgetful and tired. I will try to cheer her up but it feels like she's lost her laughter. It's like she's unable to enjoy anything no matter how hard I try and she keeps calling herself stupid and annoying and saying that she's gonna kill herself. At first I thought she was joking, but I know better now. I want to help her but I just don't know how. I'm getting worried because a few days ago she took a knife to her arm. Every time I try to help her and try to convince her to go to therapy, she gets very angry at me, and starts to say she's gonna kill herself if I don't stop talking. She used to be so kind and happy.... Should I get her help anyway? What should I do?

-Sincerely, a very concerned human


Having the perspective to see yourself and know the problems can be fixed (even if your heart is screaming at you that you're wrong and things won't ever get better) is 80% of the tools you need to feel better. I just watched your Pasta Good/Life is SAD video and ended up here -- so you might already be feeling the effects of it -- but I just wanted to share some support and empathy from across the pond. Glad you're on the mend, slow as I'm sure it feels sometimes.


Good for you Dodie.  I've been battling these issues, and have a great therapist who helps.  After making some bad life choices and not always putting my trust in the right people, I overanalyze everything instinctively.  I psyche myself out of applying for jobs and overthink any type of romantic signal to the point where I just don't act on impulses.  It's become pretty depressing, but   I try moving forward with a brighter outlook.


I didn't know that depersonalization was a thing. I didn't know there was a word to describe the feelings I've been having for years. Thank you for making a video about this because it made me feel so much better about feeling the same way as you do. Also, props to you for putting your mental health out there for the internet to see (it really helps others that also have mental illnesses) and taking care of yourself. Always take care of yourself 😊


I've felt the same way. I just feel so sorry she has to go through this. :c


I think this is how one of my friends get every now and again because she has anxiety which I know a bit about but then she'll say things like 'i don't feel like i'm here today' and I'm like whaaat but this makes a lot more sense now I've realised that I've even felt like that at times but not known how to describe it!


I just want to give Dodie a hug. She is so brave putting her feelings on the internet when it's hard enough in itself. I'm in awe of her and everything she does and I just want to give her a hug and say thank you because she is so beautiful and important to me.


Love this video totally relateable, I've just posted a video about bullying, feel free to check it out and I hope it helps xx


because of this video i finally can put a name to what has been happening to me the past couple of months. i'm not depressed, neither do i feel anxious, but sometimes, i feel like two people in my thoughts, or when i look in the mirror i feel like i'm looking at somebody else. kind of, as if i was talking to an actual other person in my head, where the other person is myself, and i am a stranger in my body. it really creeped me out, and it still does, but realizing this is something that happens not only to me, is insanely helpful. thank you!


I went back to watch this video after a really crappy day mostly full of anxiety that I had because I thought I was going crazy. It was really helpful. I do currently go to therapy, every other week, but lately my mental health seems to be getting worse, and I'm wondering if maybe I do need medication. I dunno, but I just wanted to say thanks for this video. It made me feel a little better after a hard day.

I making a series on my channel about my mental health journey! I'll be posting an update every Monday if you want to check it out and subscribe. My anxiety and panic attacks are so bad and I just want to be able to help people that are going through the same thing. Stay strong, beautiful ❤


I'm bipolar and when I'm manic I get depersonalisation at least twice a day and it's terrifying. It only happens in short bursts of about 1-2 hours, and usually ends up in a panic attack. When I'm in a depressive episode it happens a lot less, but when it does happen it's longer but less extreme.


ever since the beginning of last year i've been feeling so so sad and so panicky and i just thought i had nothing to be sad about and nothing to worry about, so i suppressed it. 8th grade, middle of the year, i went to the hospital because the whole day my chest felt like it was on fire and i couldn't breathe and felt like i was gonna throw up, and thats when i figured out i had anxiety, the doctors didn't diagnose me but i just knew. oh, and all of my life, i was called lazy and stupid because i could never remember to do anything, especially hw. but this year i went to my guidance counselor(more like forced to by my english teacher) and have been seeing her more often and she told me i am depressed, with anxiety disorder, and adhd, which is amazing(notice my sarcasm) and now i am going through a rough patch in my life where im more depressed than ever, but hopefully i can start some therapy and try and overcome this because i want to feel normal and happy again. sorry if this is all over the place, but i'm just letting it out for my sake, and please no hate:(


I've seen this video mann times, and I have read through the comments. It's weird, because I don't feel like I'm alone. I think I have depression or something that way. I'm just sad, constantly. I have my ups and downs, like everyone else. But for me, A good day is when I'm less sad, and that I'm able to get out of bed and actually do something. Go outside, be with friends, go to school and (kinda) concentrate. And bad days is when I don't get out of bed easily, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I need to force myself out of bed and go to school. I've felt like this since I was 9. And every year It kind of upped,  at 10% every year. So almost 5 years. It started at 30%, and now it's at 80%. I'm having breakdowns regularly. Thanks dodie, thank you everyone, I don't feel alone.


The depersonalisation thing of going all dreamy and not feeling anything, I think that happens to me maybe every 2 weeks for like half an hour or so... Or maybe that's something else. Either way it feels strange.


It's so sad i relate so much. You put my feelings into words. I want to hug you so bad.


Wow Dodie that is so brave of you to share.
I have suffered from anxiety and depression for many years, and it is genuinely hard to pull yourself out of that hole you are in. And unfortunately there is no quick fix. It takes time, and effort, and therapy and medication. But I believe that if you want to get to a better space badly enough, then there's no reason you can't. Not to say that you won't sometimes feel down for no reason, or feel like you are watching yourself live your life from a distance (if that makes sense), but if you keep at it, and know that it is a life long journey, then you can pull yourself out of this.
I had my breakdown 7 years ago now, and I still know that I will always have depression and anxiety, but it is at a point where it is manageable, and at least I don't feel like that often anymore - it has become less and less frequent as the time has passed.
You will become stronger, and feel happier and more positive in time.
One thing I also want to say is that it is not your fault you feel these things. It is not you 'overreacting' as some people may think, or just being a pessimist. It is the chemicals in your brain. Your brain is simply not producing enough dopamine and serotonin. So if for some reason you do have to be on medication for a while, like I still am, just know that you are taking "happiness supplements" - think of it like a multivitamin. You may have no need for medication one day, or you may be on meds forever, but that is nothing to be ashamed of. You can take steps to manage your condition and live a normal happy life. That doesn't make one weak at all - that to me is the epitome of strength.
The first step to your recovery really is seeking help from a doctor - so well done!!
Saying lots and lots of prayers for you, and I hope you get better soon <3


I think I've had on and off depression for the last 2 years, and anxiety started when I was about 9, and it comes and goes situationally. I've been thinking about getting a therapist, and I want one, but I haven't gotten one yet because for the longest time I just brushed it off and thought I was overreacting. sometimes I even have imaginary conversations in my head where I'm talking to a therapist. I want to cry, but I can't. I just always want to be crying or laughing. I'm sick of being tired and bored

You really should see someone. My situation is quite similar, except nkw it's gotten much much worse. I remember thinking that I could never hurt myself, and that happened. Then I thought I could never possibly be suicidal, and now that's starting to happen. Luckily, I have a therapist to talk to about that. But, depression and anxiety can really sneak up on you and they snowball into something worse very quickly if you don't seek help. Good luck


I sometimes have symptoms of depression but rarely anxiety. Derealization happens every week or two usually when I'm really sad or empty or stressed or tired


watching your videos every night is my 13 year old therapy...


Honestly, I relate to so much you've said. Except I can't cry anymore or feel much of anything. For as long as I can remember I've just loathed myself and loved others. I've been jealous of how normal they seem and how nothing in life seems to be quite as impossible as it is when I do it. All I do is drown my pain with words and laughter and I want so desperately to just shut up. I want to stop thinking and stop saying but I just fill every silence with noise and intoxicate myself with thought. There's just so much of it there and I can't write it or cohesively describe it and sometimes I can't even draw it because it all adds up to nothing. Just an ocean of white noise that I am drowning in and anytime I talk to or attempt to relate to another person I just feel like I'm latched on to them and dragging them into the endless hole of anxiety that I'm in. I feel claustrophobic, like even when I'm breathing air outside I'm never truly experiencing freedom.


im 15 for about three years ive had major anxiety, depression and aspergers. when I frist went tot he doctor they laughed at me. after it getting to the point of me attamepting suicide twice im finally getting help but I feel like its never going to get better. your video helped a lot. love you loads, im sorry you feel like this :(


this video really helped me for some reason 💜


I fucking love this video. I have severe depersonalization and now I don't have to explain it to my friends- I can just send them a link.


this video is surreal for me. I've been feeling depersonalization basically ever since my depression started but i never really knew what it was actually was called, or that it was a thing that other people experienced. i'll be going about my day perfectly normally and i'll suddenly feel the sensation of nothing really existing, which doesnt make much sense and isnt a very good description but it's sort of like looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person looking back. it's being sitting in school and suddenly feeling almost dizzy because how the hell am i here, i genuinely do not feel that the past year and a half or so has existed. rationally, i know it must exist, that what im feeling is all in my head and this past year has indeed happened with me living it. but that doesnt stop the feeling that my life isnt real, that i do not exist and that what i experience is all like some strange dream. you know how dreams feel, when you are doing things and it's all too blurry and doesnt quite move right? it's like that, but you dont wake up at the end. Dodie, thank you for making this video, because i do already see a therapist and take meds, but now i can recognize that feeling of not being myself. thank you.


thank you for this video. i am lacking energy to write much more or start on why it was so important to me, but thanks.


frickity frack! I've been watching some of your more <b>deep</b> videos and I'm like.. WHAT?   I RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH!

frickity frack! I've been watching some of your more *deep* videos and I'm like.. WHAT?   I RELATE TO THIS SO MUCH!


I have this all the time and when I tell people they think I'm crazy :(


Obsessive is a good way to describe it. When you get anxious to the point of tears and puke and other fun things over something insignificant. It's really strange how easily you describe exactly what I'm feeling when I have been unable to.


I used to get derealisation (similar to depersonalisation) a lot in school and stuff and it was really scary... I've been getting it a lot less recently which is really lovely, but it used to be horrible. I have had panic attacks before and nearly had one the other day but controlled it. I hope everyone's okay xxx

Dodie you clearly weren't attention seeking and I'm sure you aren't on drugs xxx


It's kind of funny. I was watching g this and thinking really hard about it and my life and my mental health. I was relating to dodie because I could see her struggle with explaining it because it's hard. Depression and anxiety and any kind of mental health problems don't have a concise one. And as I was really taking in her words I got a pop up reminder that I have a therapy appointment today.


I have anxiety. When I have a panic attack, I feel like I'm going to die. All the light in the world drains. I only feel safe in my own bed, but sometimes, my anxiety comes into my safe place with me, and that's when I feel lost. And I'm crying watching this video because it's so real, it's so real. And sometimes, I wish my brain was like everyone else's brain...I don't know what it would be like to be free from my brain. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. And I've hated it since I was 6 when my mom put me in therapy.

That's my story.


Here's me rambling because I feel so dodie's channel is a safe channel to comment lololol <br>Ever since i started going to college in a different town I've only seen my two best friends once a week and I'd convinced myself I was only feeling weird because I missed them or grew out of the friendship, it was like a homesick feeling. Except in November I realised waking to the train station without feeling my feet as I walk wasn't normal, I couldn't feel anything and I'd had constant fear that I didn't know who I was, everything happened quickly and change was inevitable to feel weird but it wasn't normal to still feel weird three months in. I know I suffer anxiety and depression and to find this is a symptom (depersonalisation) made me feel more secure(??) I look into mirrors and at photos yet I don't know who I really am, so I constantly change (my hair colour, style, make up) and it gets me more confused and I feel like I'm not connected to gravity yet there's a weight stopping me and I'm also numb and bleh it feels weird but I know it's not only me so it's all going to be okay.

Here's me rambling because I feel so dodie's channel is a safe channel to comment lololol
Ever since i started going to college in a different town I've only seen my two best friends once a week and I'd convinced myself I was only feeling weird because I missed them or grew out of the friendship, it was like a homesick feeling. Except in November I realised waking to the train station without feeling my feet as I walk wasn't normal, I couldn't feel anything and I'd had constant fear that I didn't know who I was, everything happened quickly and change was inevitable to feel weird but it wasn't normal to still feel weird three months in. I know I suffer anxiety and depression and to find this is a symptom (depersonalisation) made me feel more secure(??) I look into mirrors and at photos yet I don't know who I really am, so I constantly change (my hair colour, style, make up) and it gets me more confused and I feel like I'm not connected to gravity yet there's a weight stopping me and I'm also numb and bleh it feels weird but I know it's not only me so it's all going to be okay.


I can relate too much. Sorry that you are in this strange and painfull thing. I hope we both can go out of this, and be happy for the rest of our lives ! Stay strong, you're a gem Dodie, we love you and you are a beautiful person ! :) (Sorry for my english, he is not perfect, but, hey, I'm trying !) Love u ♥


You don't sound crazy,  I can relate a bit. depression is so weird in how it just holds on, but it's fine not to be ok sometimes. a weird lesson I learned.
What helped me was fighting to not be angry, and having someone there for me that would just give me joy not just a distraction even if it was just for 5 min. for me that was God. I don't wanna preach but

This stuff isn't forever it does go away


I just sort of ignored that I wasn't feeling so good and it manifested into a constant state of wanting to die and hiding from my emotions with humour. Yay me.


Please, once I'm getting into YouTube, please do a collab video with me, you are an amazing human, this "thing" as I'm going to call it, does get better, only with help, good luck on your quest for good old dodie😊


I remember one time I was at school and well I had only one friend basically I still have only one friend. ok what I'm trying to say is that in that moment (still) I am very very awkward and strange I always feel uncomfortable and bad around people and sometimes I feel horrible besides people I really don't want to see I also feel sad to everything sometimes even so angry I cannot control myself the issue is at school I was with my friend we didn't really talk about what I felt like and well we were in the library at recess and as soon as I entered there was a lot of people and I started feeling pressured and scared and I wanted to leave as soon as possible well my friend didn't understand and he wanted to stay there because his crush was there and told me if I wanted to leave I should leave by myself so I left . I started feeling so sad and lonely I cried so hard outside by myself that I felt like I couldn't even breath I felt people staring at me although there was probably no one I felt so horrible about myself and didn't know what was happening still I do not know what happend although it still happens every now and then and when I'm home I still feel horrible like if I'm being pressured to do something but nothing is happening I feel angry and disappointed all the time and have really bad headaches I feel like I'm alone all the time but really there's a lot of people with me and I haven't told them yet


I just noticed I've stared feeling like this ever since I was eight. My mom's affair.


I just got home from the hospital due to a suicide attempt. my therapist gave me until tomorrow to write down how I felt and what was in my head. I couldn't put anything into words. but after I watched this it was so much easier to write, because now I feel like I'm not completely insane, because I'm not completely alone. if that makes any sense...


I relate with the in head arguments you mentioned in the beginning. where you are questioning yourself questioning things


I feel the same. Have done for a year. Been diagnosed. But who cares that means nothing. When she cried I Cried, I felt safe to cry in 'the company if Dodie'


I get depersonalization when I'm panicking, stressed, anxious etc. It's a horrible thing and I feel like it ruins my life. Which makes me even more stressed.


i am a german exchange student right now and I'm only 15 and my anxiety feels like i shouldnt be doing what i am now and its literally the worst feeling


"Dodie stop obsessing about it, just turn it off"
"If you think like this, you obviously can't relate."

I actually burst into tears at this, because if you do think like this, then fuck you, because you can't turn off a fucking mental illness. I used to have panic attacks every day, I used to be terrified to go to school for two months, I still won't let anyone touch me, and you want me to fucking shut it off?

I sincerely hope you're getting help. I signed up for therapy recently, and it's helping so much. I hope you're getting the help you need and that your situation is improving. I love you so much, and you mean the world to me.


You are the most articulate person I have ever come across. (is that a very strange way to describe a person?)


I'm almost 14 and I've gone through a lot well a lot for me it's not like I'm homeless or something and I know that but it's just hard to think how lucky I am when there are people that have it so much better.2 years ago I was told I had severe scoliosis and I had to get a surgery soon or I could die I was in horific pain for about a year after that I missed so much time off school and I grew distant from a lot of people this made me depressed. I didn't know it at first I taught it was just a few bad days but then I started having bad thoughts about really bad things like if I was gone no one would care and stuff like that.i grew up with a lot of fighting a lot of my family had depression and it was really hard to deal with it sometimes but I think in the future hopefully everything I've gone through will make me stronger

aww keep being strong sweetie :) life is messed up and I guess we'll just get used to it soon :3 stay positive and keep in touch with your family, friends and all the people that you love ♥♥


i just got back from the doctor's and i've been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and depression


I know this was a while ago, but I want to let you know that you're not alone. Mental illness is underestimated. All your subscribers love you, and none of this is your fault. I hope you've recovered by now. If not, don't worry and good luck.


dodie honey stay strong cos life is fucked up so im guessing we have to get used to it eventually right? <3


Wait so I sometimes will feel like I'm not in my own body. Like I'm watching a movie about my life and not living it. Everything is brighter, speaking is weird and just attempting to think feels wrong. Is that what depersonalization is?


my problem is that i dont know if i'm truly depressed or not.
i basically experience all the symptoms of depression but i keep thinking things like 'oh everyone feels that way sometimes! you're overreacting and the fact that you think you have depressio is just insulting to everyone truly suffering'
and idk what to do. i dont trust anyone enough to tell them that i feel like this and im not close with my dad and i dont want my mum to worry and be disappointed or even pay for therapy because im they're already paying so much for me.
i just dont know what to do.


You're not crazy. I don't think you should label yourself negatively like that. The world just becomes difficult sometimes.


Mental health is crazy. My brain doesn't make any sense. But keep going darling💞


I truly hate depression, I feel like I'm fat even though I know I'm not.... I feel this (life) will never get better, but it always does. I never seem to understand how one day I feel ok and the next I don't... or how some people have this horrid disease others don't. Like, why dose my brain have to be the fucked up one? I Hate This!


it gets better dodi. im so sad knowing you are going through it. i hated it. i can relate to you so much. but i seeked out. i reached out to my doctor and got a therapist and just talking helps SOO MUCH. i felt strange as well like no one knew what was wrong with me. worst part is i didnt know what was wrong with me. until i broke. you inspire me and many more. hang in my love, it gets better. a quote that made me feel a bit better is "Its okay not to be okay" much love <3


Just watched her video about her insecurities and now i have an even bigger crush on dodie


I used to get depersonalization things every month or so but now I feel like I'm constantly dreaming and today I thought I was hallucinating being at school niCE<br>any tips? :((

I used to get depersonalization things every month or so but now I feel like I'm constantly dreaming and today I thought I was hallucinating being at school niCE
any tips? :((


I recently lost my emotions. I woke up on day and I felt wrong. I felt like I wasn't there. I haven't felt like I was there. Yesterday I went to comicon and I met my idol. But I wasn't excited I mean I was but why couldn't I I can't explain it but I smiled but I wasn't happy. I laughed and looked happy but I really couldn't be? This is hard to explain . I tried doing things that I thought would make me normal like writing , drawing or simply lie in my bed, cuddled against a hot water bottle. Why am I not happy? Why can't I relate to people? Why cant I feel like everyone else? I can laugh and eat but I'm going to act like everyone else? I actually already have therapy for my anxiety and depression. I feel shit


ive been looking at the comments and try to find comments I can relate to. but you were right. mental disorders are different. theyre hard, and scary. recently I started to open up to my parents about my mental illnesses. and they say that they are going to get me a therapist. but much like other things I never get it. im still sitting here. fighting for myself. im not willing to fight. the person I love is ignoring me, and probably comit suicide. i cant go to a doctor. because they say that mental disorders dont exist in kids. or young teenagers. so, now im stuck. alone.


OK so I wasn't going to post anything lengthy about my own MH issues but I do think having watched the whole vid that maybe it is relevant after all. When I was 22ish I took a LOT of acid for about a week, and when I came down I felt frankly awful. For about a year I felt like nobody I met could possibly be on the same wavelength as myself. It was like being the only alien in normal Earth society, or possibly like being the only human on a planet full of aliens. Mostly I stayed home for the next year and a bit. I did 2 A-levels in 9 months & barely talked to anyone in this time. At the shop I'd silently put my stuff up on the cash desk then when done snatch it away & run off, avoiding eye contact. It took ages to get back to "normal". I think I did it by watching a comedy show, "Northern Exposure" where the whole thing is so gentle & nice & human & people are genuine & good to each other. It's not like there's no conflict at all but on the whole everyone looks after each other in it. It took months but eventually I could laugh at it, and sometimes cry, but generally just feel again.<br>So Dodie - I hope you find a safe space where you can feel OK for a bit. I think I do totally get what you're experiencing. All I can really say is, I wish you well, hope you feel better & this is an e-hug you can click and activate any time. You Are A Good Person and you are valued & loved by a great many of us. Be well.

OK so I wasn't going to post anything lengthy about my own MH issues but I do think having watched the whole vid that maybe it is relevant after all. When I was 22ish I took a LOT of acid for about a week, and when I came down I felt frankly awful. For about a year I felt like nobody I met could possibly be on the same wavelength as myself. It was like being the only alien in normal Earth society, or possibly like being the only human on a planet full of aliens. Mostly I stayed home for the next year and a bit. I did 2 A-levels in 9 months & barely talked to anyone in this time. At the shop I'd silently put my stuff up on the cash desk then when done snatch it away & run off, avoiding eye contact. It took ages to get back to "normal". I think I did it by watching a comedy show, "Northern Exposure" where the whole thing is so gentle & nice & human & people are genuine & good to each other. It's not like there's no conflict at all but on the whole everyone looks after each other in it. It took months but eventually I could laugh at it, and sometimes cry, but generally just feel again.
So Dodie - I hope you find a safe space where you can feel OK for a bit. I think I do totally get what you're experiencing. All I can really say is, I wish you well, hope you feel better & this is an e-hug you can click and activate any time. You Are A Good Person and you are valued & loved by a great many of us. Be well.

Also, I grew a LOT of houseplants in my room. It turned into a bit of a jungle tbh. I still love spiderplants even now - they're so easy to deal with.


Heres a quick tip for some relief from derealization/depersonalization:  Put on some sunglasses, it kinda tones everything down and makes you feel more like you're not in a movie.


Nothing to do with anything, I'm commenting before the video, but I just got an ad for Blurryface, and I'm sure this is going to be a great video 💜


I've recently started to have depersonalization and it's just the worst fucking thing I've ever experienced. It's very hard when your familiarization with things that you have been around your whole life just disappears. It's like you forget everything in that moment and you question your own existence. Not only that, I also suffer from depression and severe anxiety and they really don't go well together. It's very hard to explain to my parents and my therapist. I feel like I'm insane ugh