The most difficult part is to find out whether you are just a spoiled, sheltered brat who needs a slap from the real world or you actually need help from professionals. While I recognise symptoms associated to mental disorders such as depression and anxiety, I do not experience more serious symptoms like panic attacks and suicidal thoughts, making me doubt my own suspicions about the possibility of having mental problems. I honestly cannot tell if I am just seeking attention at this very moment and what I am doing is an insult to people who truly suffer, or I actually need to find a therapist. The counsellor from my previous school is on holiday at the moment and I don't really want to bother her, so I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

dysthymia possibly? talk to a doctor though... it can't hurt

dysthymia possibly? talk to a doctor though... it can't hurt

This is exactly how I feel. I honestly don't know if I'm just scared of the real world or if it is an actually problem and I need to seek help.

I agree with you ! Even if you are just a 'spoiled , sheltered brat' if you are feeling low , then get help ! <3

Emma Smith I get the thing about that you don't know who I am but I will try to be more open about my feelings in the future and i'll try to remind myself that my feelings are relevant and...yes thank you

I'm still healing I'd be lying if I said I was better because in all honestly, it's a process, an extremely long one at that. But finding yourself anyone, you can just let yourself relax and know what you're feeling is important, you will get somewhere. Parents? A teacher? Friends or boyfriend? Anyone. I think change in me began when I accepted the fact that I was deeply unhappy inside and that I was very far from my true self (I know those words haunt people like me) you hate your position but you have no clue where to even start so you just build more and more walls

Das Klopapapier firstly, I want to make this perfectly clear, I don't know who you are, your life experiences or what your back ground is but I can assure you, what you are feeling or thinking is ALWAYS relevant and important, if you want to know why... it's because it's you, and you my friend, are a special person, remember that little girl you were at 4?? Well that is still you and her needs are very important. I suppose what I'm trying to say here is that, if you are honest enough and look deep enough, you will find someone you can trust, even if it starts out messy and confusing, but slowly those feelings you can share with somebody else-even the most embarrassing secretive ones (trust me I've been there hiding away in the toilets😂😂) it's highly likely you've lacked someone true to confine in and perhaps you've faced let downs from those you love and those who were supposed to love you.

And I don't know who I really am either but I guess that's everyones 'problem' in my age

And I don't know who I really am either but I guess that's everyones 'problem' in my age

Emma Smith YOUR FIRST COMMENTSBSJAJSJJS Yes

And the second one too but the first one about "have to flash your smile"??? Like?? EVERYTIME i smile at someone I'm thinking like "hahah what what what" ..something in that way lol..yes

Emma Smith I CAN OMG? Thank you

Well I have a best friend who I COULD TALK ABOUT ANYTHING TO but now that you're saying it.. I think in the past weeks I always was like 'naaah that seems so..unrealistic or not important enough to tell' and maybe is that it..what did happen next if I may ask?

Das Klopapapier it sounds like maybe you don't trust someone to regulate your feelings. The thing is, I felt this way because I had completely detached from everything and everyone (subconsciously) and then I was practically and emotionally (not physically) but all my feelings, they began storing up because I had no one to share them with, know my life share my experiences with. And this can be extremely tough because then I started to think it was my duty to act like the perfect person and that everything was always okay, but of course I was very lonely even if I had lots of acquaintances. I don't know if you can relate to this?

Das Klopapapier would it surprise you if I said that is exactly the same as me? Started about 4 years ago and is coming to an end as we speak. I swear I was exactly the same, and when everyone you make eye contact with you have to flash your smile because it's such a huge secret to us that deep down we don't know who we are or what we feel, right?

Wow these comments really made me cry but in the good way thanks

Wow these comments really made me cry but in the good way thanks

Ok reading this makes me want to vent because I cried.
I feel like I can't have any mental illnesses even while I'm writing this it's weird just because everyone knows me as THE HAPPY EXTROVERTED PERSON that's a little bit stupid and I have a nice house and a sweet family and a cool room and the best friends and that just kind of.. idk when I feel bad I feel guilty and I KNOW ITS STUPID BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN BE DOWN OR STH LIKE THAT but ugh.. can't express my feelings..

I feel like I'm making things up because my life's too happy.. sounds stupid and it is stupid. And yes I feel like I'm attention seeking and that's why I don't talk to anyone about it but I think about what I feel all the time because there's not really something REALLY BAD I SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT but it's not positive either? I'm just here, existing and thinking about my feelings and wow what a rant bye

Madison keep reaching out to people. Family? Anyone. You'd be surprised how much that can help. I think openness is key

I used to feel that way and I still saw a therapist to help work it out and I was doing great and I felt happier and "normal." I felt depressed all the time but I never wanted to kill myself because I am so afraid of death and there are things I want to see. But then I began feeling very aware over the fact that I felt that way and proceeded to obsess over it to the point where I was and am not sure if I want attention at this point and it's making it a whole lot worse

+Melanie C.    and     +Emma Freeman     and a few others (it feels awesome that so many people have been impacted by what you shared half a year ago :) ) I have felt exactly the same as your original comments, and have struggled to talk to anyone, even my best friend, and I feel like I can't talk to parents/therapists/friends as I "forget how it feels to drown" and worry that I'm attention seeking, and other people have worse mental issues than me and so how i'm feeling is illegitimate

I am having mentoring sessions with my sixth form therapists, but am unable to say how I feel, and since you two have basically said it, I'm gonna quote you if that's alright, as I don't feel able to explain my struggles otherwise

to people who are struggling, and have unsympathetic/not understanding friends and family.... PLEASE, try to talk to someone who understands mental health issues in general, like a therapist/doctor , and try to find a way to communicate in which you can say how you truly feel without having to hide anything, as I find typing how I feel is SO much easier than trying to talk about it e.g

whoever you are, thankyou for sharing, and to whomever out there is struggling to find hope, and can't keep their head above water, you are not alone, you can keep fighting, exhausting though it may be, and you are loved, and you matter (and in true cringeworthy-youtube-comment fashion... stay alive frens |-/ :) )

Always remember that the chemicals in your brain aren't affected by your privilege or place in the world. You have every right to admit you are suffering from mental illness, no matter who you are.

Melanie C. Have more compassion for yourself. Do what you need to do

Melanie C. Have more compassion for yourself. Do what you need to do

Melanie C. That's what I did but what I didn't realize was there was suicidal thoughts at that time and at some point these suicidal thoughts got really big and I needed professional help. If I didn't get this I wouldn't be here today

this is honestly the same way  i feel. like it doesn't tseem as serious as other people's so it's invalid.

this is honestly the same way  i feel. like it doesn't tseem as serious as other people's so it's invalid.

I started crying when i read this because i thought i was the only one who feels this way

I started crying when i read this because i thought i was the only one who feels this way

Reading this comments really helped me. I also have a lot of symptoms (for 2 Month now) but I haven't the worst ones like suicidal thoughts. And I don't know what I should do now bc my parents wont take ma serious, they'll just laugh at me and say that I'm too young (I'm 15) and   I haven't any problems, I have though.
Does someone know what I should do? It really botheres me.
I also feel a lot like I'm seeking attention or something like that

Melanie C. Sometimes you don't have the worst symptoms, this does not mean you don't have depression or anxiety. It means you might. You still might need the help, don't feel down because people have it worse. You still have it pretty bad, and that's ok.

honestly seeing all of these replies to this makes me feel so much better about myself because feel the exact same way, I feel some symptoms but nothing too bad and this just made me realize I still should deal with thank all of you

Melanie C. Omg was this written by me? Literally my life

Melanie C. Omg was this written by me? Literally my life

my problem exactly! what doesn't help is that my mum feels that all teenagers just make up mental illness and have no reason to go to a doctor! she refuses to accept that I might have a problem so I doubt that I do when all I feel all the time is just crippling anxiety....

i've felt like this too, like it's weird living in a first world country with nice things and clean water etc but feeling so shit at the same time. people will always be there telling you "at least you're not a starving child in africa" and yes thats true but its hard to get into that mindset that you are lucky when bad stuff is going on in your head. hopefully by now you've seen someone and if you have, good luck

Melanie C. wow Im like this too but then I'm in the cycle of thinking where I'm like "I don't want to bother anyone they'll think I'm stupid" and then I'm like "that's probably a symptom of anxiety" and then i don't know what to do and I can't talk to anyone about it😖

I know how You feel, i had the same thing, i thought i am just an attention seeker. It came to the Point where i couldnt believe my psychoatrist when she was prescribing me my medicine. Well, now i know that i have a pretty big Depression and anxiety. Get help! Dont feel like You are doping this for attention

Melanie C. Here's my opinion on the "seeking attention"

Even if you were "just" seeking attention you deserve to talk to a professional because getting yourself into these mindsets where you experience symptoms of a mental illness is still an unhealthy way of coping with things in your life
Someone once said "if it's bothering you, it's enough to get help"
And seeing how you described it you don't seem to know how to get that "slap of reality" yourself and someone could give you a hand with that

You can even go to a therapist and say "I'm not sure if it's right to be here" and they will decide after your first session
Just don't go in there thinking you're wasting anyone's time, I promise you you're not!
Have a nice day and I hope you feel better soon :) xx

RITHVIK oh my gosh, I'm gonna cry, that is so touching. wow, I'm so proud of you for being persistent and having faith in your self. you are amazing, and I'm so glad I found this video and your comment. I have an Instagram and my account is called @chaotic_stargirl. I also have a tumblr and it's called wanderingstarkid. if you have Instagram or tumblr, I'd love to follow you and keep in touch every so often

RITHVIK Over the past two years, I've struggled with on and off depression and anxiety, but it was hard to say to myself "Emma, I'm pretty sure you have depression, and you need to get help." because it comes in waves and when i come out of the wave and I can breathe clearly, I forget how it feels to drown.
but with the help of my wonderful best friend, youtubers like dootie, I've been talking to my parents about getting me a therapist. I'll be going to my first appointment in a few months, and right now I'm doing great. just remember it'd OKAY to talk to people. yell and about if you have to. don't let yourself be a ghost.

I wish you the brightest morning, the freshest air, and the sweetest fruit :)

RITHVIK wonderful! I'm so proud of you! don't give up on yourself. please take care of yourself, and talk to people, and have an amazing day/evening. you are so lovely, and you deserve the absolute best. I wish you so much health and happiness.

Congratulations Enna! Getting help for some can be a sing of weakness, but its really a sing of courage. Remember that your problems are not "less" than others, just because some have it worse, it doesnt mean that you dont deserve to be acknowledged. I wish you the best in your recovery!!

I feel the same. when I get waves of depression, I'm like "wow this is horrid, I need help rn" and then after if happens I can't remember how it felt, so I'm like "oh, I'm probably alright. I don't need to waste peoples time, I just had a mood swing or something" but it's been going on for 2 years and it's a lot worse than I make it out to be, and I'll be getting help soon.

please listen to the little voice telling you that you need help.
your future self will thank you.

@Niamh Jac Yeah, I went to the see a doctor who said I show signs of moderate depression, but I think I'd have to get a diagnosis from a psychiatrist or psychologist or something.

Yeah, I'm not really sure about myself. On one hand I do have some of the symptoms like loss of interest in activities I'd normally be interested in and being tired a lot. On the other hand, it's not like I can't enjoy little things anymore. I can still laugh with friends and enjoy a good tv show. But sometimes I'm just sad and can't determine why. I'd rather lay in bed then go out anywhere. Idk if I actually have a problem or...

+Melanie C. well done love, once again I wish you all the best ♥

+Melanie C. well done love, once again I wish you all the best ♥

Thank you Eva Kirk and Miguel López. I am trying to make an appointment with a counsellor now, fingers crossed!

Thank you Eva Kirk and Miguel López. I am trying to make an appointment with a counsellor now, fingers crossed!

go to see a therapist anyway! it will help you clear your mind and understand why you're feeling that way

go to see a therapist anyway! it will help you clear your mind and understand why you're feeling that way

I SO understand what you are talking about, I used to feel the exact same way! But here's the thing- everyone's feelings and problems are relevant to them. If you are struggling mentally and it is affecting your everyday life, you should never ever deny yourself help just because someone else out there might have it worse than you do. That's like refusing to go to the doctors to treat your broken wrist because someone else in the world has a broken neck which is more serious. That mentality is useless and will only result in you feeling more guilty and depressed. Talk to someone now before your negative feelings manifest themselves and become 10 times bigger. You deserve true happiness so don't ever believe that you are unworthy of help or treatment. Wish you all the best xx


I get depersonalization constantly every day, and I didn't think that many other people got it, this makes me feel so much better. My parents want to send me to a therapist but I'm way too scared because I see going to a therapist as another thing that makes me different and weird to everyone else I know. They only started caring when my mental problems affected them, like me getting panic attacks at random moments, even though I had tried talking to them about my suicidal thoughts and sadness and despair before but they didn't really care, and wouldn't listen. I self harm, but its not cutting, its slapping myself on the head really hard until i get headaches and dizziness, because it doesn't leave marks or scars, there's no bloodshed, I can kid myself that its not self harm. My parents always talk about supporting mental illness until it affects them.


i felt this so much AHHHG everything feels freaking weird all the time for me and I hate it

@Robin Sk AWE thank you so much. The same to you!

Praying for you friend.  May the love of Jesus surround you and embrace you warmly, just like He did for me.  Please take care.


Depression sucks. I have a wonderful concoction of anxiety, depression, and anorexia. It's good fun :)
Everyone who watches this video, I hope you can feel the sun and I hope it feels nice.
I hope that, if you can't, you can somehow remember that, even though you can't see it, the sun is still there, no matter how far away it feels x


This is old, but I needed, I just needed. Thanks for this video.


the funny thing is,the lack of  awareness is what made me get so late to treatment,i never EVER knew mental illnesses existed just 3 years ago!! i was very insecure during my childhood and i'd find myself shaking,crying,out of breath and nauseous when i'm worried and the whole time i thought it was normal,then i started to read online about it,and that's when i was like "shit do i have anxiety ???" and the answer was yes,i did, for long years i thought it was normal but again,no one around me seemed to struggle like me,no one ever sat before an exam and cried and was uncontrolably shaking ,now i'm living with anxiety,depression,depersonalisation ,eating disorder and an obsessive skin picking ,my dad doesn't believe any of these are actually happening to me (even after being there while i was having a panic attack)and i'm just sort of .....existing


ive had this and never realized it was depersonalization until i watched this


4:06 broke my heart into 1,000 pieces ...


Well I started crying at the beginning. Like the first sentence. And now I finished watching the video and I'm still kinda crying, so yeah.


I love when ppl on YouTube talk abt mental illness bc as someone w a personality disorder it's so easy for me to think that I'm the only person who feels this way but like ik ur a real person idk this vid just hit home v hard

also for other minors who's parents don't support them getting help for mental health online counseling is actually so good like it's not as good as a psychiatrist and a therapist irl but it's better than nothing


after the fires that burnt everything and lots of towns i came back from evacuation and i didnt feel...my self everything felt different and wrong and i couldnt take it people got so worried they called a counsellor to talk to me and i just cried and that was a year after it happened i thought i would never feel normal again but because i was so young there wasnt normal my mind went crazy the same time i grew up so there was no normal feeling that i wanted back i just knew it would never be the same and the way i kind of... not fixed it but got better at controlling it and now im better than ever was but doing things.. memorable things amazing things but for me it was a horrible heart breaking thing that shaped me so much into who i am today and it made me learn and grow like normal but it also made a feeling  a normal feeling like there was but this time it was better i was more aware of what i was saying and doing and after a couple years i was a new and improved me and as of now im going through a tough time but that doesnt trigger the feeling of not being here not being myself just everything feeling wrong it turned into depression almost and then i knew how to defeat it so i did so it went from denationalisation to depression to anxiety to me defeating it and controlling it some days i do get that feeling again tho the feeling that you arent your self and u look around and something just feels wrong and u see some things bigger and somethings just dont seem right and it scares me but i sleep because i feel like sleep is my escape but then sleep became horrible it almost became a chore because i started having dreams about what i was feeling about what happened that was heartbreaking about it and i couldnt take that but sometimes the only way to fix it is to grow and learn and change so much so that the old you before that horrible feeling is horrible compared to the you now i hope that my story helps someone out there <3


dodie is so real and says how it is and i admire that. most people dont have the confidence to make something like this but its helped people ly dodie x


Oh my god
I just. This is how I feel, I swear to you this is how I feel. Im not really sure when it started, I just know I got worse once I came to college. Though in some way I think Im in a slighter lower lever. JDKSJ I dont kNOw. This is probable the most surreal thing xD
Just. You gave me more to think about. Thank you for making this video, it's like you get it.


Im watching this for the fourth time in two days now. I just need to tell my mam i think im depressed. Ive been meaning to do it for a month. I just cant


Dodie you're gorgeous and we're all here for you xx


Lol, I feel the same, like I'm still dreaming and nothing is actually real


My mom won't believe me when I tell her I'm sad for no reason. She's like "It's PMS" "Here take this Midol" It's not PMS mom.


You summed up what I’ve been trying to sum up but couldn’t find the words for it❤


Those people that would judge you have not been through your pain. You are so strong to live with your problems and sharing them with others makes them feel less alone and 'freakish'. I give you my full support!


I'm sure loads if people have already suggested this, but CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) helped two of my friends with depression and anxiety and is still helping so if that's what your planning on doing, rest easy knowing that it is effective and helpful!!! I love our videos so much, stay strong, you can get through this <3

*I love Your videos AND YOU so bloody much


I don't understand it. Can't relate. But I just found you and I love you just the way you are. This was 4 years ago. I do hope you are better now.


hello to anyone who might read this
I'm 14 and I think I recently started derealising? I haven't gotten anything confirmed yet but I do relate to a lot of this. I constantly feel like I am in a dream and that I might wake up any second, but also I know I won't. I am able to communicate with the people around me and I still know who I am (or at least as much as I can know about myself at 14) but I feel very distant and I constantly look at other people wanting to be them, to stop feeling like this. I'm pretty sure though, that it won't go away. My therapist says it's because I've been stressing a lot lately, but looking back at these last few weeks I can't say I have. I'm also afraid that I've been scaring my friends, because at one point I ended up telling them "I'm afraid nothing is real". Thankfully, they're amazing and I've told them to just be patient with me.
To anyone who might be feeling the same as me, I recommend making yourself a calendar of what's happening the next few weeks, and then going along day by day. Also, if you haven't already, please get help and know that you're not alone.


Guys, I've been doing a lot of research on this and I think it has a lot to do with the limbic system, and there are ways of retraining your brain, like it's possible to feel normal again...I hope I can :/


I have little episodes that make me feel like I’m in a video game or something, I don’t feel real in my own body and I’m so sick of overthinking everything but I just can’t control it, it takes over my brain. I have times when I feel like there is no point to life and nothing I seem to enjoy makes sense. I feel like I just can’t avoid them. I overthink every little thing, and the whole world feels scary. I feel non existent. If you’re going through the same thing, please reply I just want a friend to talk to about it with.

@HRY FA . ow are you now?  In life there are only 2 problems—mind and the body. To feel better reduce negative thoughts and overthinking.  Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives good relief from stress-anxiety.   To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight,  eyes closed  and observe the sensations of your incoming-<del>outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils  for  5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax.  No deep breathing needed. Observe your breath sensations when you experience multiple thoughts anywhere-anytime-</del> before sleep, in college, before sleep, in the kitchen, when reading, etc. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a better life. Reduce negative social media, take morning sunlight walks  and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes--Counsellor.

@HRY FA . ow are you now?  In life there are only 2 problems—mind and the body. To feel better reduce negative thoughts and overthinking.  Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives good relief from stress-anxiety.   To relax sit on a chair or lie down, neck straight,  eyes closed  and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils  for  5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight your thoughts. With daily practice the mind will relax.  No deep breathing needed. Observe your breath sensations when you experience multiple thoughts anywhere-anytime-- before sleep, in college, before sleep, in the kitchen, when reading, etc. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a better life. Reduce negative social media, take morning sunlight walks  and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes--Counsellor.

@Chanbemo Kikon we’ll beat it together bro

@HRY FA side effects are common <br>We gotta be strong

@HRY FA side effects are common
We gotta be strong

@Chanbemo Kikon yeah it is but it will get better, I’m considering medication but don’t know if I’ll get side effects or not

@HRY FA life is really hard man
I don’t know if I should go for medication or not
I guess for derealisation we’re given anti psychotic I guess

@Chanbemo Kikon yeah same it’s pretty bad when I’m in a car but for some reason it’s also really bad in the shower. I’m trying to teach my self to embrace it and also just trying to distract my self as much as possible but it still gets really bad

@HRY FA it’s still the same <br>The worse part is when iam inside a car and everything outside seems unreal like those people and I can’t take sunlight man it gives me anxiety ? How’s your coping mechanisms?

@HRY FA it’s still the same
The worse part is when iam inside a car and everything outside seems unreal like those people and I can’t take sunlight man it gives me anxiety ? How’s your coping mechanisms?

@Chanbemo Kikon Yeah exactly it’s like I’m in a video game. It’s still happening and quite bad but I’m learning more coping mechanisms and ones that work better. How are u going?

@HRY FA how are you doing ?
Ian going through the same thing .
I feel like iam in a movie or something


“Am I the only one wishing life away? Never caught up in the moment, just begging the past  to stay, ‘cause memory’s painted with brighter ink”


this is the hug i needed today.Thank you.


i cried as soon as you did im sorry I love you 💕


I fee the same way.... I'm just scared to tell my fam. I feel like everything is a dream. It's always hard one day will prob. Be ok but we do need help.... and it suck, and it hurts and you can't breath but you can be strong. Don't deal with it by your self.


At the part where you said you just wanted to get into your old bed in your old room and feel normal again made me tear up because that's exactly how I feel but when I get into my bed and try to feel normal again, I'm left with my own thoughts and my anxiety takes over and it makes me feel even more insane. Then the part at the end when you said our problems do matter made me cry because that's exactly what my sister said because I've been too scared to tell anyone about my anxiety and so I've been trying to put off telling anyone about it. Also, the fact that you're going to get help to solve/cure your problems makes me want to get help too but I'm scared. Scared that I'm gonna be made fun of for being weak and developing a mental disorder. Scared that people are gonna find out about me being bisexual too. Scared of pretty much everything really.. God, I sound so stupid and weak 😶😓

@Stacie-Lou that's amazing!! I'm so glad that you have such supportive friends. And i'm glad you and Darcy are so close now. Therapy can also really help. i've been in therapy for my mental illnesses for a while now, and it really has helped. it reminds me that i'm not crazy, and that i'm more than what's in my head. i'm slowly learning to not let it control me, because it doesn't have to control me. i don't have to listen to it, even though my mind tells me I'm supposed to. so when you're comfortable enough, i suggest you talk to your parents/guardians about finding a therapist for you. there are plenty out there who specialize in anxiety.

+ginger soul Thank you for actually letting me know that there's people in the world that can care for complete strangers. <3 In the past couple of days I've told my closest friends about my mental illness and sexuality and they accept me for who I am and are actually researching and trying to come up with ways to help me not let it take over me completely. Also, the second person I came out (the first being my best friend Carys) to was my closest friend Darcy and the way it actually happened was we both said we wanted to talk to each other in private as we were at school and we didn't really want everyone to know what we were gonna say. So we went to a little private place on school site and said we needed to tell the other person something. We both agreed to say it at the same time (it sound so cliché) so we did and we ended up saying the same thing - we're both bisexual. So since then we've told our other close friends (Molly & Berfin) and become really, really close as friends.

no, no one struggling from a mental illness is weak or stupid. we're all very strong for not letting it defeat us completely. yes, things like depression and anxiety may throw us around like crazy sometimes, and can beat us up pretty well, so naturally we feel weak. but the fact that you are still here and still fighting despite all the bad stuff in your head makes you incredibly strong. and i believe that soon enough, you'll be comfortable enough to open up to the people closest to you about your anxiety as well as your sexuality. if you never try, you'll never know. i hope you can find the help you need, and feel better about yourself. baby steps. it takes time, but you will get there <3


I think once you get depersonalisation it can come back as I suffered 20 years ago with it badly it stopped for a number off years yet it does raise it's ugly head from time to time if I get very anxious or things are different I'm a creature off habit if my day is different I'll get it. I've had it bad today because we had a guest stay over so in my world it made the day different. It's such a pain but at least we know what is happening.


It’s crazy because I was depersonalised not so long ago and upon searching for answers, your videos were what I came across and there was comfort in not feeling alone and that there’s someone brave enough to publicly explain their journey through this. When you say you’re not making it up, when I was going through the same I was like, of course you are not, why would you? But now seeing from an outsider’s perspective once feeling better, you seem and talk fine, which is why it was hard to convince those around me what I was going through. It’s a real and scary thing and sometimes I’m scared it’s going to come back but I’m glad to feel more normal when I can


I can relate so much I have terrible anxiety and I just want to sleep until it's gone but it get better it really does


I thought i wouldn't find someone who have the same mix of the mental illnesses i have. Bit the sad thing is i am feeling numb almost all the time, and there is nothing to make me feel better. literally. It gets worse when your family arent helping.


im telling you, this video is helping lots of people dodes. lots of people feel the same, especially i can relate to the depersonalisation thing i REALLY can. its awful awful and you feel like you are watching life go by on a screen or in a weird game or something. we are all here for you and love love love you


this sounds weird(i am a pessimist) but I feel happy, but all I can think about is the low I'm about to feel, because there's always a low. I'm waiting for the rain to come once again.


Whenever I walk into a dark room or a dark space I feel like I'm dreaming, I just go in and out of reality, when something or someone lets out a noise i go back to life but everything is blurry and loud and dizzy, I get headaches and I feel so light headed. I'm not saying I have something because I don't know but that happened like a couple of times and I feel like I'm going crazy.


i feel invisible a lot of the time. like im just observing everyone else and narrating the world around me instead of living in it.


he NHS may be free but it's not bloomin easy lol.<br>gotta say making this video was super healthy for me. It was good to edit together and see that I can pass as a functioning human.

he NHS may be free but it's not bloomin easy lol.
gotta say making this video was super healthy for me. It was good to edit together and see that I can pass as a functioning human.


So many doctors, therapist, and psychiatrists have been more hurtful than helpful. Saying things like "attention seeking" and "making it up". Them of all people shouldn't say that. That's who is supposed to help. I've found a therapist who is like a second mother to me. She's so amazing. I've had to move four hours away but we still stay in contact. I can understand what you mean by this. You're not mad. Unless I am too. Then we are mad together. But I feel like I'm not really here and this is all a dream or fake or something. It's hard to explain but I understood. Depression and anxiety have always been a struggle for me and especially feeling "out of it". And it's nice to know that someone else has experienced it. But it's awful. Because it hurts. It's sad. No one should feel that. You can't turn it off. You can't just wake up and be better. There's no real reason for the depression or strange feeling of not being there. It just happens. You go on with life doing things as you normally would but it just feels fake. Not real. I broke down when you said you wanted to go back to your old bed. Because I want my old bed. I want to be happy again like I used to be. I also live in the past and don't want to grow up. Im terrified. Please take your time to take care of yourself. I know how much this hurts. Please don't worry about entertaining us. just please care for yourself. We love you and just want you to be healthy.

possibly because many teenagers go there attention seeking (in my experience what they say they have is not genuine but rather to gather attention), hard truth.<br>just because you dont feel happy all the time does not mean you are depressed or whatever tumblr teenagers call it (anxiety or depersonalization bullshit)

possibly because many teenagers go there attention seeking (in my experience what they say they have is not genuine but rather to gather attention), hard truth.
just because you dont feel happy all the time does not mean you are depressed or whatever tumblr teenagers call it (anxiety or depersonalization bullshit)

17 years old and seen, gone through, and been told things that adults shouldn't have to.


Sometimes I feel like I'm going through a dream (life) and I'm gonna wake up and be born again and relive it.
Sometimes I feel like I'm in a movie (life) and one day the credits are gonna roll.
Sometimes I feel like I'm in a book (life) and the last page will turn.
Sometimes I don't feel all there. Not drastically but it's there.
Sometimes I feel weird.
Sometimes I can deal.
Sometimes I can't.
Sometimes that's okay.
It's always okay to let it out.
I feel like I need self discovery.
It sucks. We've all gone through a lot and that's okay.
It. Fucking. Sucks.
But we have to deal.


I know I’m like two years late but I still can’t stop crying an hour after watching this


Dodie, I honestly think this video is so important and needed. Mental illness has such a huge stigma attached to it, and the more we talk about it, the less that stigma will exist! Thank you for being such a shining light in a dark place, and having the courage to say this when it must have been so hard to be vulnerable ❤ You are such a fierce, badass, warrior of a human and even if I don't know you, I love you. We all do.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤


Ima not give up. I can do this! I will keep getting back up!
Been at it, collect ways to get better.
Right now, mindfulness and loving yourself n life and honesty.

May God be with you and show you His wonderful kindness and grace dear friend.
May the love of His Son Jesus surround you and embrace you warmly.
Please take care.


I am scared that I may have depersonalizations disorder. Over the past two years I have started to feel this strange thing that I can't describe over and over, and it's the worst strangest feeling. I still just put on my favorite US navy sweatshirt and lay down and cry. Because there is nothing else I can do. Most times, once I am out of a period like that, I will kind of forget what it felt like and that makes it very hard to describe. I have been  constantly researching mental illness, trying to figure out what's wrong with me, and I still don't think depersonalization is it but it's getting closer ?? I have no fuckin idea, but because I can't describe it to anyone and I am too young to get help because no one will listen to me. They always say 'oh you're just a teenager everyone feels like this all the time hahaha you silly bean' but like no most teenagers don't have this longing for nothing and they want to actually die because they can't figure out what they're missing. I don't know, this was a long comment that no one is going to read. Fuck


i would do anything to talk to someone like you who literally just described my whole life to the point i broke in tears especially the whole old room and bed stuff i cant keep living feeling so alone if you would follow my instagram and dm me i would do anything to talk @my_w0nd3rland_


Hi Dodie...I doubt you'll see this, but I'm really scared. I have been having really bad depersonalization feelings lately and I don't know what to do about it. It feels so scary and weird to feel detached from everything around me. Like I'm not actually me. And I'm just so so scared. I've been panicking all day and I don't know how to stop it and feel like myself again...does anyone have any advice on how to stop any of this?

meditation helps me alot, grounding myself. theres alot of literature out there that can help you.  and just knowledge about the human brain. its not preventable which is both terrifying and comforting in a way. also please go talk to a professional, if its bad enough youtube comments only help so much.

@wesailtheseas Thank you so much, I really appreciate the advice <3

Oh I know this feeling all too well, it sucks so hard. Life is scary, but a poem that's personally helped me a lot is "the perfect panic attack" by Patrick Roche, it's here on youtube. give it a watch, try and take a good, warm shower, hang out with some good friends or hug anyone you're close to. Even if it sounds cheesy, surrounding yourself with people may help a lot.


cough I like how ppl with depression, anxiety etc still use "crazy" as an insult and distance themselves from us like we aren't real ppl with real feelings lololol no shade tho


Its hard to deal with depression when you're a guy bc you can't express your feelings without getting made fun up whilst making it worse.


This makes me sad. No one should feel this way 💔 You're not abnormal or mental; you're striking! I hope things have gotten better since the making of this video.


watching dodie's videos is kinda therapeutic in a way because she faces the problem head on and talks about it and I can feel myself relating to her and i don't know just how to explain it exactly but she just makes me feel better, you know? like, a weight has lifted off my chest to know that there's someone who understands


I am going through something like this. I feel like nothing is real. My entire life is just a movie and I'm an audience member watching it on the screen. Everytime I do something, I doubt it really happened. Nothing is real. This is all a dream. There's no point. We don't exist. Everything feels like a deam.I know it's real and I know it's all happening, but it just doesn't feel like it is for me. I laugh, eat, sleep, and do everything I would normally do. But when I get even a second to think to myself I fall into this hole of 'nothing exists. you aren't here.' and I can't get out. No one has said anything because I keep acting normally. I tried bringing it up to my parents but they just said 'huh. that's odd.' and left it. I'm so scared. What do I do? I want to feel normal. I don't know what this is but I want it to stop. I want to go back to how I was. I want to fee alive. I want to be able to enjoy life again.Someone please help me and tell me what I should do. I'm lost.I look around and I know they feel normal. They can just live in the moment. But I can't. I'm just stuck thinking 'I'm gonna die and nothing will matter. nothings even real.'I'm kinda freaking out. But when I start to have a full blown 'oh my god what the living hell am I supposed to do??' moment, my brain just says "it's not real so you have no reason to freak out." and then goes into a shut down mode where I can't feel anything but terror.Someone please help me and tell me what I'm supposed to do.

claimica I go through the exact same thing. I had a full blown panic attack a few weeks ago because I could physically feel my thoughts and felt like I was trying to dig my way out of them. It was so strange...

Don't Ask this has happened to me every day and I just assumed this was normal. I don't find joy in doing anything. I feel like I'm drowning sometimes in my fatigue. It's always been a constant presence, but I'm always half-scared that sometimes I'll slip away. The only thing that really keeps me anchored is the phone, I guess because it's kind of the opposite? Everything is crazy and spacey and somehow I feel at home.

Sorry for the sob story, I don't want to bother you with my shit, but I totally understand how you feel and it sucks.

I am going through this as well but I went to the Dr and we are doing cognitive behavioral therapy, and ASMR so thats what I would try for you the ASMR since your parents don't understand...

Eliraz Biton I will definitely try it and look into it. Thank you again

Leanne ♡ you're welcome.. its tricky and seems impossible at times.. but its not! Its dangerous to mess with the mind with drugs..<br>I know meditation sounds stupid.. but once you hear the science behind it you will understand.

Leanne ♡ you're welcome.. its tricky and seems impossible at times.. but its not! Its dangerous to mess with the mind with drugs..
I know meditation sounds stupid.. but once you hear the science behind it you will understand.

Eliraz Biton thank you so much for this! It's so weird that I think mine may be weed related also. I smoked it a few times last year and I get the same feeling now. I might look into meditation I've heard it helps so much. Thank you for reassuring me 😊

Don't Ask  your not alone. I had dp for many years. I gets better.  Just stay away from weed it makes it worse.  Keep yourself busy. Go out like normal. Even tho i know it's horrible what your feeling. Distraction really helped.  I remember their were time when I just wanted to sleep all the time. It was the only time when I could have  a break from the ongoing nightmare.

Leanne ♡ of course there is a light in the end of the tunnel ! Ive been introduced to mental illness the first time in my life about 9 months ago.. a bad trip from weed (only smoked twice in my life..) was rehappening to me all out of a sudden in a big panic attack.. For the next months I felt like a shadow of myself.. the thoughts didnt stop.. everything flooded.. I felt insane guilt for every bad thing ive done.<br> And confessed to everyone i needed. The ocd kicked in with intrusive thought that paralized me to my bed 24/7.. the anxiety was over the roof.. going to my job was the worst thing ever - nothing seemed normal.. anxiety and depression can cause that. I started therapy and immediately after the first session i felt more relaxed.. the therapist made me sure im.not insane and im not going to lose my mind.. ( was my main concern.)but that didnt stop my anxiety.. I started taking pills but stopped after the first one.. didnt want any side effect.. having a super supportive environment and girlfriend has made things easier.. but the first time i felt a stone going off of my heart was the first time I meditated.. I was in a bus reading about meditation and immwdiately thought.. this is exactly what I need.. please please try this.. give in to this.. meditate, and party hard.. thats what helped me..right now i feel completely normal and back to my old self.. some times i begin to think again.. but i know how to handle that. That experience left me with scars that will probably never heal.. but it also made me a better and more mature person..

Leanne ♡ of course there is a light in the end of the tunnel ! Ive been introduced to mental illness the first time in my life about 9 months ago.. a bad trip from weed (only smoked twice in my life..) was rehappening to me all out of a sudden in a big panic attack.. For the next months I felt like a shadow of myself.. the thoughts didnt stop.. everything flooded.. I felt insane guilt for every bad thing ive done.
 And confessed to everyone i needed. The ocd kicked in with intrusive thought that paralized me to my bed 24/7.. the anxiety was over the roof.. going to my job was the worst thing ever - nothing seemed normal.. anxiety and depression can cause that. I started therapy and immediately after the first session i felt more relaxed.. the therapist made me sure im.not insane and im not going to lose my mind.. ( was my main concern.)but that didnt stop my anxiety.. I started taking pills but stopped after the first one.. didnt want any side effect.. having a super supportive environment and girlfriend has made things easier.. but the first time i felt a stone going off of my heart was the first time I meditated.. I was in a bus reading about meditation and immwdiately thought.. this is exactly what I need.. please please try this.. give in to this.. meditate, and party hard.. thats what helped me..right now i feel completely normal and back to my old self.. some times i begin to think again.. but i know how to handle that. That experience left me with scars that will probably never heal.. but it also made me a better and more mature person..

Don't Ask hi I'm a little bit late, I apologise. But if anyone out there has gone through this and somehow passed it please reply to this. I've been stuck in this place for a while and I'm scared it's driving me to insanity. I find it hard to even go outside because I just don't feel real. I'm not enjoying living anymore. Please can someone tell me how they've gotten through this or just tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm honestly so lost right now

Don't Ask this is EXACTLY how i feel. up until now, i always thought i was just weird or messed up, and that no one else went through this, but now im finding so many people that are feeling the same exact thing. i dont know how to make it go away, but talk to a doctor, and im sure theyll know how to help.

Don't Ask I feel I understand what you mean, I hope you are doing well.🌼🐌

Feeling good is a skill you can develop and learn just like any other skill.. you don't need to depend on anything..

for the lonely times you need meditation..  but you need to party hard for extra distraction..

Eliraz Biton meditating is helpful but here's the thing with just partying to ignore things, it will help you feel things in the moment but then there's the times where you're alone and things will typically feel worse.

Meditate. Don't do anything else but meditating, eating, sleeping and partying hard

first thing I'd say is don't worry. Eventually your life will fall into place you just have to wait and take time but most importantly in that time you have to figure yourself out. The way you described that is the exact same way I feel, and getting into cognitive therapy and medication can be really hard and personally for me it doesn't help. I'd say for you pay attention to the times you feel at your best and the most "you" and do everything in your favor to have more times like that. Also make sure your aware of the times your at your worst state and why. If you can start to learn about yourself like this you can try and develop some sort of way to help yourself out, just know that even if you don't have that support from your parents there are plenty of educated people online to talk to and help you. I am very interested in listening to other people's experiences with depersonalization and I would love to do anything to help my email is juliannarosec@gmail.com if you'd ever need to chat :)

This is happening to me also. I feel like im completely outside of time

Yesssss exactly the same as you that's literally it

Thank you for describing this for me. I've been experiencing the same thing and I could never put it into words and explain it to myself. I'm happy that I now know that I'm not alone, and neither are you, or anyone.

Don't Ask Thank you for putting this into words. For the longest time, I had no idea how to describe this even to myself. I'm so glad I have so many people to relate to.

Don't Ask LIKE NOT TO JUST TAKE YOUR WORDS THAT U TOOK SO LONG TO TYPE BUT LIKE SAME

Cup0fTime That's okay. It's really good! Thank you for suggesting it to me!

My bad xDD It was "You said okay"<br>May sound stupid but I was a little bit, I don't know how to say it (I'm french) Uh I felt sad because of the video so I just wrote somethig like that and...anyway.

My bad xDD It was "You said okay"
May sound stupid but I was a little bit, I don't know how to say it (I'm french) Uh I felt sad because of the video so I just wrote somethig like that and...anyway.

Cup0fTime I would love to listen to it! Do you happen to have a link? I can only find 'you said okay'.

I can relate to that. Also "But when I get even a second to think to myself I fall into this hole of 'nothing exists." reminds me of "I'm not okay" by Flatsound. A spoken word you may enjoy c:

Don't Ask  I relate to this so much that it hurts. When I get stuck in this thoughts I panic, because it feels so claustrophobic, because I don't know how to get out of it. It gets better when I'm busy and don't have time to think much about it, but as soon as I'm alone with my thoughts or in an uncomfortable situation it hits me like a bunch of bricks. I keep thinking about it over and over again and I feel this claustrophobic horrible feeling...

So my tip is: try not to get stuck in those feelings, meet up with people and try to find an environment where you feel save. Consult a doctor. I wish you the best, you're not alone.

Don't Ask I feel the same way. I have ups and downs and sometimes I really struggle to get over all this sensation of non - reality.

Don't Ask, it sounds like you're experiencing 'derealization' more than 'depersonalizaton'. I get derealization a lot and have been doing for the last few months. You feel detached from the real world, everything seems strange and you have trouble believing that anything that is happening is real. If you're seeking help, then maybe suggest to your family or doctor that you may me experiencing derealization and/or depersonalisation and if your doctor doesn't know what that is, then find one who does. They may not necessarily have a 'cure' but putting a name to it really helped me, particularly as there are a good number of articles about it online which reassured me that I'm not the only person ever to have experienced this. From my understanding it's a symptom of anxiety (even though you don't necessarily 'feel' anxious the whole time you experience the weird sensations) where your brain is trying to protect you from trauma by dissociating from the real world. I hope this helps.

Don't Ask I really don't know. I don't feel real either. 😧

Don't Ask I completelyy understand what you're going through, this may not even be helpful to you at all but I feel the exact same way. you know in your head that you're here but you're not really here and its sort of like you're just in a play or movie where things just happen and you have no control over it. I don't know where I wanted to go with this but if someone would of told me that they understood what I was feeling it would have helped me a lot knowing I'm not alone. maybe you could try seeing a therapist?? talk to other people around you and ask if they've ever felt like this? I don't really know the answer but im sure you'll get through it, babe. just keep fighting ❤❤

I would like to point out that my body is basically on auto pilot. I'm getting good grades, eating well, exercising no less then usual, and reacting to things as I should. But nothing is going through my brain.


sometimes i get depersonalization when i'm not at school it's horrible :(


Recently my anxiety has gotten worse. I go into states where I have days that I can't function. I'll have a really horrid panic attack and I can't get out of it. I cry myself to sleep and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it. Sometimes I feel like nobody cares, like everybody thinks that I'm faking it. Sometimes I'll be in a great mood and I get hit with a wave of fear and regret and sadness and negativity and I just feel like I have to run. I have to get out of that situation but even when I got to my "happy place" (my closet in my hopefully soon to be boyfriends jacket, long story) and sob I don't feel better. Some days I just wake up and don't want to leave my room. I have panic attacks and the first real unprovoked panic attack I had was right after I got out of school. I was turning off my closet light and then it felt like my heart stopped. I hid in my bathroom in the bath tub sobbing and I was terrified of leaving. I thought that if I left the bathroom I would be killed. I haven't talked to a doctor yet but this video makes me feel better about considering that. It's hard to talk about because people treat mental illness like a made up condition for attention and I wish that's what it was because its torture. It's hard to have any will to live when you're in a constant state of fear and depression but I have to remind myself that suicide doesn't make things better it only ruins the chances of things ever getting better. Sometimes I'm afraid of myself but I have to remind myself that no matter what, there's a chance that things can get better.


Sometimes I cannot tell if I have these strange/scary thoughts that I force myself to have or the opposite. However even if there is something actually wrong with me, I won't be able to get help from a doctor for a while, there's just many things that I have to do (but won't because...... )Honestly idk one moment I'm motivated and the next thing you know I'm just...... Nahhhh and then absently binge watch YouTube videos. I feel like I get too attached to people (primarily those who are not in my family) it's been a while since I actually got out of the house. It's like I really desire staying at home and not talk to anyone but at the same time I'm like "oh no my friends are gonna forget about me I gotta do something" and then get too scared to text them because I'm thinking "but what if they're busy and dismiss me?? Like I know I shouldn't bother them buUUTT..."

Idk my brain feels like mush but then again it's late


Fear and sadness arent so good. Maybe think of it like an oyster suffering to mature a pearl. What doesnt kill you, etc.

As far as the weirdness goes, depersonalization and all that, i try to enjoy the utter strangness of it all. Appreciate the ineffability of the truth, revel in the mystery.
Normal is boring.


so, i took a test thing at the doctors to test for anxiety and depression. they said im high on anxiety and normal for depression. i may have lied a lil bit. im pretty sure I have depression but i won't say it's true because it's not diagnosed. im most likely going to see a therapist and ill probably have to lie to them sooo that's great. oh and if you're curious to why i think I have depression,, i have done some "things" and thought some "thoughts". the anxiety is aaaaalllllwwwwaaaayyyys around buuuut i lied on that too and said it was only on certain days so that's wonderful too. anyone have any advice


when she started crying about her old flat & bed i resonated with that so much. about a year ago i cleared my room out ready to move house and i gave away/sold so many old toys and books and belongings i thought i didn't need. it didn't bother me at the time because i felt like i didn't use or need any them and they might be useful for someone else. it wasn't until a few weeks ago when i was feeling depressed that i felt like i was almost grieving for the items i no longer had. i kinda had a small breakdown over a specific Polly Pocket set where i was crying and sobbing and searching for this item that i thought id kept but i couldn't find it. it was really special to me and i wanted it so bad so i searched my whole house and room for 2 days but to no avail. later the evening of the second day i found it under my bed where i must have placed it over a year for safe keeping. moral of the story is, depression sucks. i wasted 2 days of my life over something insignificant that in the end wasn't a problem. i guess what i learnt from it is that nothing lasts forever and in one way or another everything will work put even if it isn't in the way you expected <3


I never heard of depersonalization i thought it was normal to feel this way..? i guess i just felt crazy


I have these weird depersonalization episodes where they only last a few hours, and the world around me doesn’t really look different, it’s just me feeling very detached from myself, like I’m somewhere in the back of my brain just watching myself do things. Not sure what to do about it. :/


I have so much anxiety and depression I dealt with that I try to get my words out I don’t feel like myself i cry every day I get panic attacks I’m dealing with that like saying someone doesn’t like me like They used  I get that feeling


I've had chronic depersonalisation and derealisation for four years. Ive struggled with depression, chronic anxiety, complex PTSD, ADHD, and sequential processing for the majority of my life. Emotions are far and few in between moments and days and weeks. I have forgotten how to laugh and smile. I am trying to learn how to appear normal and alive and human, but everything is blurry and foggy, like a dream that I can't wake up from. I am cold. I am dizzy. I'm just an actor pretending to feel.


I am so glad you have made this, I did what you did and recently through Google found I had depersonalization. It sometimes gets worse some days and it is horrible. I am 15 and I wish I had nothing wrong with me. I want to do so many things with my life and I wish it would go away. But I need to fight it and I need to be strong. I am currently sitting on my bed typing this crying because it feels so good to find another person who understands and I am not alone. Thank you 💕

i dont know what to write exactly but i just want you to know that i think you're really strong and i hope you get happy so soon <3


I don't necessarily feel like I'm watching the movie that is my life, I feel like I am featuring in the movie. Whenever something good happens I'm like "this is where the good music would play". And I want to cry but tears don't come so easily to me anymore? At school I laugh, I speak and i interact with everyone but I don't feel like I'm there and I feel so lonely even though my friends can be easily reached. I feel like everything is just out of reach. Am I really typing this on my phone right now? Is this real? I don't feel anything anymore. But sometimes on good days I feel like everything just goes away and I tell myself that I made it all up and it feels that way. I do not know what is happening. I can't keep ignoring myself.


You just gotta let it happen. It's scary but once you understand it it's nothing and your body will be yours again. And after awhile it's not as scary to think about and it'll go away.


im 15 and especially lately iv been getting moments. i could have the best day with no disturbance and then suddenly when i get home i will get in bed and just do nothing. i dont think of anything to be honest. my friends say they understand and they really are there for me but they will ask me what i think started it or what i was thinking about to trigger it and the answer is simply. nothing. i will be walking home with my friends having a laugh and smiling. i will watch youtube videos and then suddenly like there is no change in movement or anything i will casually turn everything off and then lie down. and do nothing. think nothing. feel nothing but darkness and being alone. i know im not alone and i know what i have but the feeling is so overwhelming that all i want to do is kill myself. i try to do things i usually love but it bores me and i have no attention span. i dont tell my family or get help because in my mind they are just moments and no matter how bad they get i will always go back to "normal" and i will just feel ashamed for hurting myself. i dont expect anyone else to understand if the only time even i understand is when i get those episodes


Can you do a video of how things went from here? What you did? What worked? What didn't? I'm stuck 😔


1:02 Exact same thing I said before, now I understand mental illnesses, dementia, damn.

Holy shit it’s been a month.. Have I changed? A little.


Always know you can get a second opinion. Anytime a medical person dismisses you as "just making it up", probably a good time to seek a new doctor/therapist whatever.


i'm not diagnosed with depersonalization, but it's awfully similar to how i feel and what i'm experiencing. honestly, it hurts. at first i was just getting distant, and i simply stopped talking to people as much. school had just ended, so i thought i was just getting lonely, but when i actually looked at it from all angles, i noticed that my friends were blowing up my phone, but i never responded, no matter how much i felt like i should've. i had also lost interest in more than just conversation: i lost my spark to play ukulele, to draw, to write, to take care of myself, to eat, to stay awake, everything. so, i tried to confront my closest friend about it, but when i did, i realized i had no idea how to speak to her. get that this was my oldest, closest, most accepting, most personal friend i had, and still have, yet i couldn't, for the life of me, figure out what to say. everything i had texted her felt so scripted ; it wasn't me. everything i texted her, i took time to think about what should i say, not what i /would/. after i read over our conversation, i noticed that nothing i had said sounded like me at all. as i began to notice that something was definitely off, i also noticed how it felt as if i was drifting through life. i felt like i was watching a movie of my life, yet i wasn't the actress playing me. i heard everything, i felt everything, yet i felt so numb. i couldn't feel like i used to. i didn't even laugh as much, and whenever i did, it was so obviously forced. i began to start randomly bursting into tears out of sadness of loss of — well, myself, and out of frustration with myself.

what i mean by feeling, is that i could hear, smell, taste, touch, and see, yet i wouldn't feel. i was numb. i felt like an empty vessel, only filled halfway with knowledge, yet lacking the rest of myself, which was my emotions. i knew when to be happy, and when to be sad... but i never was. at the time, my cat, that i had been having for nearly seven years, had died. my mom, sisters, ad brother had all cried and grieved, but i didn't. i tried to force myself to be sad, to make tears fall from my eyes, but they never did.

i'm so glad you made this video, because if not, i'd feel alone. and dodie, you kinda helped; my heart wrenched when you nearly cried for a minute there :):


So, I get depersonalization like... two or three times a week... And I've always thought that it's normal... Is it not normal?

Alycat Fangirl I've had it 24/7 my whole life. I'm not sure I even exist anymore.

When I get it I'm oddly calm because I feel like I'm in my own world and nothing else matters

You can completely "cure" yourself in a very short amount of time . We all know its a result of "Trauma " either from a panic attack or drugs a way to protect your body . So stop that worry its not a mental disorder , but actually I congratulate you all . Your brain is working perfectly as its supposed to work . Your trauma has put your Amygdala to a sensitized state . Consider the sensitized state as scale high/low in just temperature . Now have you experienced , when you didn't have anxiety disorder / DP  you were emotionally strong or not sensitive to emotional thoughts or worries . So it answers your first anxious question "Will it will come back again just by feeling worried about your exams or any worry in the future ?" After going away Amygdala would not be "sensitized" So it will not come back .

Again we all very well know that stopping the anxiety cycle would all together heal you as you have read everywhere .  The real deal is to quieten the mind which keeps on having anxious thoughts no matter how much you distract myself or no matter how much you fight it . These anxious thoughts keeps on cycling you though the same anxiety cycle and slightest anxiety during "de-personalized state " makes DP/DR stay and we know why "sensitized Amygdala". In normal state if you have same level of worrying thought it wouldn't trigger back anxiety because Amygdala is no sensitized. Only if 1000 pound grizzly bear is running after you in the jungle then there is a chance getting it back again :) .

If you can spend a week totally not being anxious about it or any future anxiety about it 95% of your symptoms would go away . Rest 10% is just passing time to forget that you once had it :D

Anxiety basically comes after thoughts arise in mind .

Now how do you stop your thoughts?

NO ! NO ! you cant stop thoughts or fight thoughts that is where you are going wrong about it . Thoughts are the product of Subconscious mind in other words "Conditioned mind". In a scenario of anxiety/DR/DR its a mind "Conditioned" by your anxiety. "Conditioned mind" or Subconscious mind basically has no connection with logical brain . It basically throws thoughts and then your "conscious mind" is just at a mere mercy of those thoughts . Now if you fight it becomes become stronger and thoughts persist. You resist it persist . One cant stop it  :D. So the trick is to "Separate your self from thoughts" . So whenever any anxious thoughts appear . Don't reply, don't fight back . Just watch and listen to them . Identify that these are from automatic "Conditioned mind" . These thoughts are not True. Its the same voice that sometimes tells you "You are not good enough ", "You wont be able to do it", "People don't like me",  etc etc all that bullshit Its automatic and has no logic . We are not our thoughts or images perceived in our head. Just listen to that anxious voice in your head and laugh at it . Anxiety is a LIE , its a lie and it wants you to believe its lies . This would make more sense when you will be able to see the "LIE" in it . Do this for one week . Symptoms almost go and then you would be actually know the lie of anxiety /DP DR. Would you ever follow that lie again ? thats the cure .

Now thought comes "is it true? what if it wont heal me ? what if I am different ? what if he was different and I am not? what if I am going crazy ? what if it comes back in future ? "
These are all thoughts and automatic . Are you going to believe them ? change the perception of your source of these thoughts and see what happens . best way if to visualize them as coming from a monster in your head . That fucker doesn't want you to recover ( which is true indeed)  once you stop believing that monster thoughts lose power and slowly they disappear . After sometime you mind will be left with nothing and you can focus attention to you normal things , but if you fight it as you have been doing till now and it hasn't helped and never will . it hits back . You are trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist . You are fighting your minds self defense mechanism that's DP/DR which is pointless to fight ? It needs a calm mind to go away .

PS : No medication . Its not an illness . Its a thought perception problem and cant be solved by a pill :)

Oh, I just watched the go to a doctor bit. I have a psychiatrist, but it's not the same as a psychologist. I can't talk to her because she isn't that type of doctor. However, I need her, which means I can't afford a psychologist. I was going to one for a while, but once they recommended antidepressants, I had to stop. I can't afford both, but I need both. That's probably the reason I'm pouring my heart out in the comments section. I think I'm going to record all of this into a document. Who knows, maybe one day I can share all of this and help someone else who's going through it, like Dodie did. I mean, that all I really care about anymore. I'm going in to psychology. That's what I want to do with my life. Help others so that they don't have to feel how I do. And of they already do, I want to make sure that they don't go through it alone.

Also this makes me think of Secret for the Mad which is such an amazing song. I love it. Thank you so much, Dodie.

Also, after just watching the part about people not understanding mental illnesses... I'm so happy for them. I am. It hurts when they talk that way, but I'm glad that they can. A lot of my friends are like that, but most of them understand. There's one in particular who I still don't think gets it. I know that he's trying to, and he says that he does, but I can feel that he just doesn't get it. And I'm happy that he doesn't, because I don't think anyone can really understand unless they've been there, but I still wish that he could understand, because he's one of my favorite people, and he's one of my best friends, and sometimes I just wish that I could talk to him about this kind of stuff when it gets really bad. He's an optimist, and one of the happiest people I know, and he usually balances me out quite well... But when I have a bad depressive episode, it all just kind of clashes, and his happiness feels like an insult. I wish it didn't, but it does. And I think it's because she just doesn't understand that you can't just ignore it. It's not just a thought, it's a being. It's like trying to ignore my existence. I am this illness, but I'm still myself... And he's just himself. He thinks through himself, and that's it. I have to think through my personality as well as my mental illnesses, and it's a weird kind of handicap that he doesn't understand. Yes, I'm glad that he doesn't get it. But I almost wish he would just accept that he doesn't, rather than deny it. I wish he would be there for me in a different way. He can still be there for me and make me feel better, but his misinterpretation of how I feel just makes me feel worse. I'd rather him be there as a sign that it does get better, and that I am loved. But it feels like he's telling me that I should be able to turn off these thoughts. That I should be able to be like him. Because that's what he thinks it is. I just... I want him to be there for me without feeling the need to understand. To just be there. That's what would help me the most from him. For him to just be there for me.

Also, in the video, Dodie said that she wasn't looking for a way to fit a title, and that she just found something to describe what was already happening... I'm typing this now because I typed the majority of these comments before I watched the video. I paused about ten seconds in and just.... typed. I should probably write all of this somewhere else besides the comment section on YouTube, but it felt necessary.

Looking back on it, I should've known that it wasn't normal. A lot of things I go through aren't normal. I wasn't aware for a long time that my depression and anxiety weren't normal. That I wasn't supposed to be this paranoid about what others think about me. Or that I'm not supposed to feel like I'm always going to be tackled by this feeling of vulnerability and self-hatred and plain fear of my thoughts. I started to realize that it wasn't normal to fear the dark thoughts in my head. To feel that you were alone and forgotten, not loved or wanted. I realized that it was really bad when I began to fear for my life because eof how dark my thoughts of, and what I became during bad depressive episodes. When I started taking my medicine to my room and began pondering that there's a possibility to overdose on antidepressants. I refuse to keep anything dangerous in my room anymore. It's sad. I can't trust myself to want to live.

A happy world with happy people and happy things and happy thoughts and just... happy. And I wasn't. I was this shadow. I was there but I wasn't. I don't really know how to explain it. I want to call it a conscious coma of anxiety and existentialism that I just can't interpret, so I lay on the ground refusing to interpret anything. I need to let my happy thoughts in, but opening myself up to those opens myself to all of the thoughts that I don't want, so I just lay on the ground in a quiet lull of nothing.

I'm really bad at explaining.

It kinda just felt like I was this... thing. Just a thing in a world. A world that is happy. And that I didn't belong there.

It's usually just four or five hour spells. Sometimes it'll happen for a day or two, and once it's happened for a week straight. I've never really thought about it much. My sister called it an out-of-body experience last time it happened. It was really bad that time. I was fine, and then everything felt wrong, and I kinda just sat on the ground hugging myself and laying on the floor. I wouldn't speak. It felt like a panic attack, but instead of panic, it's complete calm. Not blissful calm, though. More of what felt like calm before a storm. I was anxious but not panicked, and I wasn't sure what was happening. Everything just felt wrong.


Idek what to say, I've been through so many counsellors and therapists but I never thought I was depressed enough and after somebody accused me of attention seeking I started believing it so I turn down help and keep it to myself because I'm terrified people will think I'm attention seeking, but every single day I think about suicide and stuff and I've lost all of my hope, it's only recently that my teachers have started worrying about me because I haven't been eating and I've been purging and stuff and they made me see another counsellor but I'm already ignoring her texts and calls because I don't see the point in getting help anymore, on good days I really want help because I know I need it but then bad days show up again and I just don't see the point anymore, tbh I feel really messed up and my family just make it so much worse 😟


I've had depersonalisation once in my life and I thought I was losing my fucking mind...and it goes away and comes back, it's weird and depressing shit.


this how i been feeling lately and i just can't pick myself up. what is a way to do and kind of get myself human and my mum keeps saying i'm to young to be dealing with mental illness because she thinks i haven't dealt with anything,when really i get bullied, i've had a few suicide attempts and i just feel so lost and non-human


so last night and this morning I've had this feeling of just worry and fear and nausea and I barely got any sleep but there's no problem and I've never felt this before in such a sense, and that makes me even more scared... Someone please help me am I having a panic attack?


honestly i have random spurts of not feeling like i'm in my body. my main way of combating this is throwing myself into doing things and going out with friends. this doesn't work sometimes tho. i have no real advice to be honest and am rambling.

 also i've had people tell me i'm making up the fact i have autism but ??? i have no idea why i would make this up it makes me hate myself??? so it doesn't make sense to say someone is making up things

i hope going to the doctors can help you a lot more. also routine is a very good thing to help you feel back to normal but do not get to sunk into the routine because you might have to change that routine then end up having a panic attack from change of routine

Oh my gosh, yes!  Long, hot showers for me are the most (and sometimes ONLY effective) stabilizing thing.  And showering in the dark is so nice (when you don't trip  :P).  I can go into a shower anywhere from moderately anxious to suicidal and just stay under the water until I'm something close to calm.  They might be the only way I've survived so long...  :')

+Phobby Ironz showering in the dark is my favorite it's a weird feeling but a good one

also another thing that weirdly puts me back into my body, is cold showers, or showering in the dark (last one you might slip or something tho lmao)


Doddie please get better.  I'm concerned about you!


i used to cry all the time. every night near enough i'd break down about how my life had gone wrong (even if there's nothing particularly wrong, just everything) and it'd be gone by the morning. i'd feel great all day and break down at night, but its weird now. i don't breakdown i just feel kinda empty and bored of life. i don't have waves of emotions during the day and at night, its just all day nothingness. i cant talk to my friends because i've drifted away from them now and i don't want to talk to them because i wonder how they can be so happy and smiley all the time. they get sick of my sarcastic comments and my constant turning down their invitations to stuff. i hate their company and i prefer silence, but the silence still feels empty and lonely. i don't know whether i prefer being alone or with others. i just dont like <b>being</b>. someone's coming over later to watch a movie with me and i already tried to cancel and failed. someone potentially attractive, at that. i used to be kinda funny (my friends used to think so anyway) and i used to hold social events all the time, sleepovers and bonfires and cinema trips... i don't do anything anymore because i dont want to. it seems like so much work to force a smile and have a good time. i think i've just lost faith in humanity.

i used to cry all the time. every night near enough i'd break down about how my life had gone wrong (even if there's nothing particularly wrong, just everything) and it'd be gone by the morning. i'd feel great all day and break down at night, but its weird now. i don't breakdown i just feel kinda empty and bored of life. i don't have waves of emotions during the day and at night, its just all day nothingness. i cant talk to my friends because i've drifted away from them now and i don't want to talk to them because i wonder how they can be so happy and smiley all the time. they get sick of my sarcastic comments and my constant turning down their invitations to stuff. i hate their company and i prefer silence, but the silence still feels empty and lonely. i don't know whether i prefer being alone or with others. i just dont like *being*. someone's coming over later to watch a movie with me and i already tried to cancel and failed. someone potentially attractive, at that. i used to be kinda funny (my friends used to think so anyway) and i used to hold social events all the time, sleepovers and bonfires and cinema trips... i don't do anything anymore because i dont want to. it seems like so much work to force a smile and have a good time. i think i've just lost faith in humanity.


Sometimes i'll be somewhere that i have been a thousand times before and my whole memory will go blank like when im at work and ill be standing there trying to remember where i am


6:05-6:10 this is kinda what my parents say. They say things like, “you’re not really _depressed_. You calling it that makes your brain magnify it and make it real because your subconscious mind can’t say no to anything. Stop calling it that and live life” thats pretty much what they say. But they’re wrong and I think I told them that but I don’t know. But yeah it does suck cause it makes me sad that my depression that is real is being neglected. I do have a counselor, so it’s not like they just ignored it completely, they did notice it. They just keep saying to stop calling it depression. Then what am I supposed to call it? Sadness? Anxiety? Self deprecation? All are just as bad. So idk why people say that cause it’s pretty hurtful to those who actually feel these things and yet people still say things like that to them.


I can give some advice about anxiety if you like lol. If you get a therapist I bet he/she will advise you to realise that you are having the attack- go with it, realise that you are still alive and that it will all be o.k. you are not having a heart attack. And you are you and it is totally fine that this is happening. It will always be a part of you but you will learn to control it. Oh and it will happen without warning. Anyone else was told this???? lol!  Meditation and mindfulness is really helpful. That is for anxiety anyway- Depression well that is a whole different ball game my friend. It's a tough one! All the best.

Oh oh and that anxiety is energy so you could use that energy in positive ways e.g. being creative etc rather than using it to get anxious. Depression though I guess is the opposite you don't want to get out of bed let alone make art.


thank you for showing me I'm not the only sad person in this world


So I’m pretty sure I don’t have depersonalization, but I have felt the way she is explaining before, for me it was kind of like zoning out but I wasn’t staring at a certain place or anything. I was still answering questions and processing what other people were saying. It feels like I’m a part of a movie but I’m not the actor, I’m the one watching it or something. I rarely ever feel this way, and when I do it’s only for like 5 minutes at the most. Can anyone relate lol?


When I had a panic attack in school my dad said I'm watching too much YouTube and I need to grow up after that I never opened up my feelings to anyone again


I know this video was back in 2017, but whatever.
7:58 hit me really hard in the chest.
I'm currently 13 with anxiety (not sure), not diagnosed. I stay at home a lot and usually cry myself to sleep. I want to feel happy, I try to be happy, but the happiness I showed was just toxic. It wasn't me anymore. I only became happy so nobody else would see the crumbling being behind the smile. I was scared what they would think and scared that I'd hurt them.

And it hurt me even more when I was scrolling through social media and saw a post that said something along the lines of "If you're below 20 and say you have depression or anxiety, you're probably just trying to be edgy or want attention!"
That post made me question so many things, I would curl up in the corner or cry in the bathroom thinking:
"AM I FAKING?" "WHAT IF THIS ISN'T REAL?"
AND I WAS TERRIFIED MORE THAN EVER BEFORE.
I didn't know who I was anymore.
I still don't know
there's just this massive hole in my personality, my very being.
and so I smile to cover up the hole that's been growing since I don't even know when.

If you read this, then thanks.
I'm genuinely happy someone cares.

I care:) I'm 16, and was recently diagnosed with depression. Is there someone you can go to for help? A doctor you can see? They can take assessments and be sure if they can start you on medication. I've seen a major boost in my mood since then, although I still above dark days. Bottom line, mental illness doesn't discriminate. You can't control your anxiety, but you can control whether you let it get worse or stop it becoming too severe. Please get help if you can and talk to an adult you trust:)


sometimes (certain times worse than others) I’ll be completely fine and laughing and happy, then right after i can’t talk right, I can’t concentrate, my eyes can’t focus on one thing and I feel like I’m in a dream and I’m not actually alive. this sucks but I love this video


i thought i was the only one who loses their sanity when im far away from my room? 😭


You totally have vestibular migraine! All your symptoms match!!!


The text is exactly how I feel all the time and every asks and I can not explain it at all


I don't relate to this but I love reading and learning about it.


I have episodes at weird times. I act different. When I was in highschool it was the days I didnt take my meds. And I felt stoned but I had never smoked. Or drunk. I had a rough childhood and such but it was so strange walking the streets of this tiny town that I knew like the back if my hand and not know it at all. Not find one little nook that I could call my home. I was very lost. One time my friends and I went to target this was a few months ago and we were just ya know shopping and I did smoke a bit before but I was like woah I shouldnt be high still. I ate food i drank water i pulled out my sunglasses. But nothing could bring me into my shoes. It's like my body was trying to escape and i felt nauseous and dizzy. I couldn't walk or talk right. My friends say they were hella scared and didkt know what was happening. My episodes are very strange and yet I smoke weed even though that's apparently a no no with depersonalization and derealization disorder. Just any drug or alcohol use. I've been suffering from ADHD and major depressive disorder and major anxiety disorder. And now this. Its kinda always been with me and I just grew up with the disorder. It comes and goes. And its fucking scary. I say it does make me manic a lot of times. But that's my story. You just gotta ground yourself. Try to get through it


I felt what you felt too but i have 13 and i think this is just a think that comes in the mind of teenagers, even if you're 21 or 23 at the moment, being a teenager is until 25 sooooo you are good but if your feelings are so strong you should talk and do what you already do now


idk if it's just me but you can tell she cried before filming because her cheeks are bit shinier than usual  :((((( It's been 2 years already but I hope she's doing better <3 <3 <3


I find that lots of people who have mental illness or that go through bad things sometimes joke about it. Like, I personally think I could have social anxiety, and I joke about my panic attacks a lot despite them being traumatic experiences. I think it's sort of a coping thing maybe


I have chronic depression and it's upsetting feeling like you'll never be okay and being scared about how long it'll take to feel okay again and especially when your family act like you're making it up and you just want attention they make it feel like im crazy seeing things that aren't there and it only makes things worse


i would do anything to talk to someone like you who literally just described my whole life to the point i broke in tears especially the whole old room and bed stuff i cant keep living feeling so alone if you would follow my instagram and dm me i would do anything to talk my_w0nd3rland_


@ 6:00 whO EVER SAID THAT NEEDS TO GO AWAY BECAUSE YOU CANT JUST TURN IT OFF AND BE HAPPY BECAUSE wHo cAn dO tHaT?!? Dodi you are so inspiring and extremely lovely and i know this video is old and you might have changed a bit but regardless, you're so amazing and keep doing what you're doing❤


Ever wonder what it's like to be one of those people who only get sad sometimes and have never been seriously depressed or anxious? must be nice


I wonder how many more times I'll have to think "I really have to go see a doctor" to myself before actually going because I feel like I really can't do that idk


oh my god dodie in gonna fucking sob, i haven't even finished watching the video yet in so sorry but i understand so much, depersonalization is the worst and im so sorry you have to experience this oh my god i really hope everything gets better. mine has been getting so bad again

idk if this matters but my user used to be phuck phan (ignore me)


good luck, dodie. If you make it... tell me. I need to know it's possible


Okay, I'm going to just open up. At first the only mental illness I've ever been familiar with was anxiety (idkw I'm balling my eyes out right now) I was first familiar with anxiety at the age of 7/8? I had a traumatic childhood I guess? I was sexually assaulted at the age of - what, 5? I have no memories of my mum and dad together, I've only ever been familiar with going house to house. I've suffered with hearing loss..that is what caused my anxiety. But as a teen I have felt very depersonalised...I feel fucking fake, like my thoughts aren't me. I've been looking into mental illness because I just want a fucking explanation. I've been thinking about self harming, but I've always backed off because I tell myself. You're an attention seeker if you self harm, do you want to be an attention seeker? Do you? You haven't got depression, it's not true..you're just making it up because - attention. YOU'RE FUCKING FAKE! Then this girl who is diagnosed with those things said to me "don't try and diagnose yourself..you don't know what it feels like, you're just making it up" and it made it worse, I felt like I was even more fake and I just feel fucked. I don't know what to do and I feel SO lost..idk if what I have is depression..maybe I'm just attention seeking, maybe what I'm feeling isn't depression..you're making it up. I've asked my mum to get a check up, but all she said was to talk about it when we get home..but we never did because I was too scared and embarrassed.


I honestly though I had like a brain tumor or something until I heard about depersonalisation


It's my biggest fear is that the doctor I go to next month is going to tell me that I'm just making it up or that it's all in my head or I don't actually have anxiety and I just need to get over it. I spent the longest time trying to tell my mom to get an appointment with a psychiatrist, and all she did was get books about getting over shyness or try to force me to be social and make friends. It makes me want to cry, because there isn't a single person in my life who understands what it's like, and it's so frustrating to think I could potentially go to this person and she does the same thing. I have a lot of control issues when it comes to my own life, but it's to the point that I'd swallow a thousand pills to distort my reality if it meant I'd just be normal again.


I don't want to call it depression, because I feel like I'm labeling myself for attention, but I get into these weird head spaces where everything is numb. i can't feel or think, just numbness. It randomly happens too. I will be fine one moment, and the next I'm not. It doesn't last for a long day, just maybe 10 to 15 minutes and I'm not sure what it is. I am scared to call it depression because I feel like i'm looking for attention, or I feel this way because i'm being influenced. I have been told many times times that i'm just looking for attention/ i'm being influenced, so my parents try to break all contact with the internet and tv. i don't know what to call it and sometimes it scares me. sometimes i envelop it with open arms, and i don't know what to do.


i always cry when i watch this video because every time i see my counceller i think this time i`ll tell her about my depression and i never do ive been depressed since i was 8 and im now 13 and it started after my parents split up it sucks so bad and i always feel like killing myself and im not here im scared im going mad and i dont know what to do


I'm on autopilot and I don't know what to do. I feel like I am viewing my life in third person rather than first. Like all my friends are not my own, or my own head isn't mine. Any suggestions/ideas on how to fix it ? :(


I was depersonalized with severe anxiety for a whole summer. It was the worst.


My parents and therapist have told me that I'm making my problems up so much I think I might be


I feel weird too
like everyone is in a dream but mine comes with extra fever
i can't feel pain
my pain got normal
some people have nightmares, and i get a glimpse of those sometimes
i feel weird
my insides burn or fill up with the water clogging my throat and filling my eyes
the people can't see my dream
nooses are covered in flowers, guns throw candy, our blood is maple syrup
my life is a lie
someone is gone, but others can't see
i feel like they're blind and want me to be as well
but i see all of those colors, they hurt my eyes
they drive me insane
please help me


I don't know why I'm so scared to tell anyone about it all.

tell the right people, like professionals. start by asking them if they know what derealization is. if they do, proceed. if they dont, spare yourself the pain of being misunderstood. dont start with telling your friends, they might invalidate your feelings. i know this from experience; having people speak shit about your pain because they dont udnerstand it is the worst fckn shite in the world.

its how people will see you after telling them, but believe me, everything is for the better. get help, complicated or not, go. take care, mate


Please don't think I am creepy, I don't mean this in the weird, creepy way. I love you so much. Just watched two videos and you are super-relatable!
BTW, this is not to make you feel better (if it does, great), 'cause I hate when people try to do that. But I just needed to get that off my chest!
BTW again, people always do that, huh. Even my best friends think that saying they love me makes everything normal again. So sweet, but so ignorant. I love them too though!


Since August something was wrong. This last month it is unbearable and I can't think straight. I don't want to ask for help because I am scared, so I struggle on my own. I have panic attacks so often, I cry endlessly because I feel like the world is fake. I can't think straight, so I don't know what to do. Any advice on how to tell people that I feel like I am watching someone else's world or a dream. I think it might be Depersonalisation but I don't want to skip to any conclusion. Any help? Thank you.


I know this vid was a long time ago but I have to say that you are the most wonderful lil princess on this earth and its sad to see the sweetest human ever is ill you'll never see this but it'll be nice to write this anyway but you're songs have helped me I loved you so much I wish we were friends cause I need a musical friend just please stay with us cause we all love you so much hope you have dodie day love ya ✌🏾😬


I think I may have depersonalisation but when I mentioned it to someone they just thought I was on drugs, I don't know what to do.


i think your perfectly you, i yhink your very interested. cry and let it out do not spupress your feelings on your videos. i appreciate the honesty and it really inspires me. i respect peopl who ate raw,real and are open. you seem very in touch with your feelings and you have great conversational skills. no ones got a perfect life. half our lives feel dreamy. sometime we laugh,sometimes we cry. some times i cry fof somethings that are not even sad. sometimes im laughing and dont know why sometimes i feel on top of the word and a secod later im ina dark place. sometimes i recluse other times im social. i have a good side, a happy side, a clever side, a dark side a secret side,a hungry side, a sad side, a lonely side a hopless side an empty side a mad aide an ok side a revel side a crazy side some times i take sides and sometimes i sleep all day sometimes i do nothing. sometimes i get it and sometimes im confused,sometimes i let others down, sometimes im scarey, sometimes im lazy, sometimes i want to disappear some days ate not worth living some days are empty,some days make no sense, somedays i learn,somedays i win. we are all just being who we are for that moment we feel or were stuck feeling for that moment. sometimes moments are long some are short, some sneak in and some jump on us, some things or feelings come visit some vacation in us and some move in others move out. you see we live in s spiritual world and we cant see they but they influence us. sometimes its just us. sometimes its someone elses thoughts feeling or actions against us or are on our side. some things support us some things inspire some things dissappear some things change somethings dont,somethings are remember some forgotten.some remind us some scate us som even terrorize and freak us out. some things cause panic. just realize you afe the result of everthing in around and the sum of all you experiend in this world and much of life are theories. you are loved. your accpted. your apprcuated for your honest and i appreciate having shared this piece of life to glimpse into your soul and say hi,thanks right on keep kt real its refreshing. your better then a book. your real and i like being human and im listening.


Depersonalisation is something I need help with still. I don't understand myself


when she started leaking tears i wanted to genuinely wipe her cheeks through my screen 'cause it just made me sad how dodie always helped me thru anything im going thru but i couldnt return the favor


i get spacey all day until i dont know what happened. my head will hurt and i cant go to sleep. i cant wake up without a thousand alarms. i took a history test today but i couldnt tell you what is was on. my anxiety gets the better of me until ive convinced myself that i am wrong and invalid. i feel like im in a dream or a movie. my hands dont look like my hands. my face looks like a strangers.