It's quite worrying how you went to see someone when you were 16 and they thought you were making it up.
If anyone ever says that, YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT UP. Your experiences and feelings are valid. You know yourself better than anyone, and if you know something is up, IT PROBABLY IS and don't let anyone make you feel as though you don't know yourself.
Know thyself and all that.
<3

What if there is no self to be realized, it's all made up of a collection of ideas passed down to us from generation to generation...one causes their own suffering.

First Name Surname wow it's been a year but I really really hope you feel better now.

Thank you. I'm 16 right now and I'm trying to tell my parents I've been feeling awful for such a long time! A year I think? But they always cut me off telling me everything is just part of being a teenager. I'm going to talk with my school counselor. 💟

NEVER MIND WHAT I SAID BEFORE. <br>I'm okay now. Ish. I suppose it was just a phase. Or maybe I've gotten settled into my new insanity. Whatever.

NEVER MIND WHAT I SAID BEFORE.
I'm okay now. Ish. I suppose it was just a phase. Or maybe I've gotten settled into my new insanity. Whatever.

Exactly! Anyone could have a mental illness. It doesn't have requirements, anyone could have one, no matter their age, the place they live in, how wealthy they are, your illness is valid no matter who you are.

+Luba Brodsky ikr like I've mentioned to my mom multiple times that I'd like to get a therapist and she believes me, but she's a doctor and I think she thinks I'm just growing and not getting enough sleep or that I have iron deficiencies, and I'm like "yes, I had mental breakdowns and anxiety attacks and depression and suicidal thoughts because I'm missing a couple doses of iron."

whenever i try to tell people about how i feel, they tell me its just ''puberty''. It's not. i actually feel like i'm not in control of my own mind and like i cant trust anyone and everything is just dark and bad and i feel like i have to put on a fake smile for everyone so they dont know, because i want help but im afraid to ask for it. I just dont feel okay anymore.

I've been to a therapist and they blame it on my age or another thing is when they blame mental illnesses and suicidal thoughts on periods

+HopeMappley Yes! I wish this was spoken about more often. Every self help video is like "Go see someone! They'll make it all better!". When in reality you will probably have to go through a couple of people before you get the help you need. And in that process you might encounter some "professionals" that make you feel worse before someone actually does their job properly and helps you.

So many doctors don't believe you, especially if your younger because they just blame it on your age and that your just being negative and it's really upsetting because it's not fair that mental illnesses are treated differently to physical illnesses 😔

the "you know yourself better than anyone" bit is my problem.
That's what's wrong with me.
I don't know myself.
I don't remember thing properly, and even if I do (I'm not really sure) I don't feel like I can trust my own mind to be right about anything, not memories, not itself, not common sense, not anything.
I don't know how I feel, and I think that's what got me to first realise that something wasn't right, when anyone asked me how I felt, I would always say, "Eh." and shrug and play it off as a joke, or say "Fine" or "Good" so no one would worry, but it wasn't because I felt like being funny or anything, it was because I honestly didn't know, and if I said "I dunno" to "How are you?" I would sound weird, and I didn't want that.
Having said that, I don't really know what I want, or who I want to be, or what I want to feel, or how i should feel. I don't know who I am, or anything really.
I think I have actually lost my mind.
When I say that, I don't really mean that I've gone crazy, I mean that I feel like I've lost my mind in a box somewhere, and I can't find it.
I don't know exactly when this started, but I think it might have been when my dad left. I don't know why this affected me so much as to make me LOSE MY MIND, but it seems like it did. It might have been the stress of not having much money, combined with the sudden change and my seven-year-old mind, but I really don't know.
I'll be okay though, I'll get help and I'm sure it'll get better.
I'll be okay.
I hope.

P.S
I might be making this up, this might not really be a problem, and I might have just dug myself into a hole, this could be my own fault, I don't know.
Also, please don't worry. I don't know why you would worry about some random internet person you don't even know, but still, don't worry about the random interpersonal you do t even know.
Also also, if anyone has heard of something like this, please tell me, I would really do well knowing at least what's wrong (if anything) with me.

When she said that I was like "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DOCTOR" and I never cuss - almost never. Like, what is wrong with people? It annoys me so much.

it happened to me too:/ so many doctors just dismiss teenagers' feelings

But also mebbe recognise that no one is ever normal and there is no magical cure? WHAT EVEN IS NORMAL ANYWAY <b>thumbs up</b>

But also mebbe recognise that no one is ever normal and there is no magical cure? WHAT EVEN IS NORMAL ANYWAY *thumbs up*


I do believe that you are among one of my greatest hero’s dodie. It’s so helpful and nice to have someone just speak up and be so open about these things. And it takes guts and I love you so much and I wish the world for you❤


Thanks for sharing this. 💙
I feel a lot of what you're feeling.
And it feels better knowing I'm not alone. 👊


Thank you for making these videos, you have no idea how much this helps people out!


This video has given me so much insight, thank you so much, I've been experiencing the depersonalisation thing for months now and thought I was crazy


A few months ago I was feeling similar to this and I think I might have been having some sort of identity crisis but anyways I’ve spent the past couple of years being VERY nostalgic for the past in a very unhealthy way and one night I watched an episode of black mirror that I am convinced is our future and I started freaking out and I was texting my friend crying and saying all sorts of horrible things and that I wanted to die and I felt really bad. That was probably one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced and one of my darkest moments. So I woke up the morning and I realized I didn’t want to live my life wishing I was in the past and try to ignore the things I hate about the present and stop being so sad all the time. I don’t know how I did it but I managed to push all those thoughts to the back of my brain and I’ve been a lot happier.


So back when I first watched this video, a couple of years ago, I remember feeling like this described me oddly well. So I looked up depersonalization and went down the list and I was still quite blown away by how well that fit me. Then I, being the dumbass that I am, for some reason just...convinced myself I was being delusional and that there was no reason for me to feel that way. I thought I was just aligning what I read with my thoughts because I wanted an excuse for why I was the way I was.

WELL I finally got over myself and went to talk to a counsellor and as it turns out, what I was feeling was depersonalization. I don't know what to make of that. I guess the moral is that if you feel like something is wrong, like you need to talk to someone or like you need help, please don't deny yourself that. You will be sparing yourself so much confusion and pain. Take care, loves.

So back when I first watched this video, a couple of years ago, I remember feeling like this described me oddly well. So I looked up depersonalization and went down the list and I was still quite blown away by how well that fit me. Then I, being the dumbass that I am, for some reason just...convinced myself I was being delusional and that there was no reason for me to feel that way. I thought I was just aligning what I read with my thoughts because I wanted an excuse for why I was the way I was.

WELL I finally got over myself and went to talk to a counsellor and as it turns out, what I was feeling _was_ depersonalization. I don't know what to make of that. I guess the moral is that if you feel like something is wrong, like you need to talk to someone or like you need help, please don't deny yourself that. You will be sparing yourself so much confusion and pain. Take care, loves.


It's okay to cry on youtube dodie! We'll always be here for you! I love you, you're amazing!❤😘


Thank you for putting words to how much mental illness can effect someone's life and how awful it feels when you are objectively fine but mentally you can't function. Your videos have helped me calm myself and realize that I'm not alone in my struggles with my own mental illnesses so thank you


I had a similar experience with a doctor. When I was 9 or 10, I began having what I know now were panic attacks. My whole body would go numb, I would shake, cry, it felt like the whole world was collapsing in on me. So my mom took me to the doctor, because she thought maybe I was having seizures or something. They ran a bunch of tests, and they all came back fine. I was healthy. But I wasnt, and I knew I wasnt and when the doctor came back with the test results with the conclusion "You're perfectly healthy, its all in your head" I felt lost. The panic attacks didn't stop. I felt helpless. This is why mental illness awareness is SO SO SO important. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you the best of luck in finding true happiness again. You are so strong, you can do it ♥

@doddlevloggle I did eventually go to counseling and I have been panic attack free for almost 2 years! Thanks so much for replying!

+Violist99 this is so awful! Hope you're finding help now <3


oh dodie it makes me so devastated to hear you say you’ve gone mad, you’re crazy. You are not crazy, your emotions and your thoughts are very very valid.


Thank you for sharing this. It helps to know others are going through similar experiences.


You are so amazing, you put words to a feeling that many of us struggle with and I just want to thank you and cheer you on in your recovery xx


I’m like a year late to this video but thank you so much dodie because I’ve been feeling this way far too long and thinking no one understands and you are so helpful I feel less alone when I watch your videos about mental health thank you so much


I'm dealing with this right now! It's the most scariest thing ever I thought I was going mad! Thank you for this video I now feel like I'm not alone xx

+Kat Hayashi it's awful isn't it! I can't work either ATM xx

I'm crying. I'm so happy I'm not alone. I mean I hate other people feel this but it's been a year.... I can't work I feel like I'm going mad

I thought I was going mad too. I wish you all the best, sending you big big hugs, I hope you get to a good place darlin

+Bryony Harris yeah me too. i was going through the exact same thing last year and coming into this year and wow i really did think i was going mad. ive been diagnosed and am much better now through getting the help i need and i really hope that you too are on your way to recovery xx

I was diagnosed and will be getting therapy :) I hope we can both deal with this and get over it love you x


I've come back to this video after 3 years since its release. I did it because I'm feeling bad again. Another low has been hit, and I felt like going through videos that used to help me back in a day. One of these was this one. Even though we all have different stories and feel it differently, I am speechless at how your words help me, Dodie. Thank you so much. So much.


i come back to this video from time to time. every time i'm feeling kind of lost, i always come to dodie's channel and songs and i'm still lost, but i feel better. it's been long since i haven't felt like myself. and this video feels like a hug for me. maybe that's sickening, maybe it's not, who knows. but if it wasn't because of dodie, those dark times where i felt nothing at all would have been way worse. thank you so much for always being you.


Whenever i get into my funks, very similar to how you explain, i always, ALWAYS come back to this video because i pretned it doesnt exist and just a lot of other things go on and i basically just lose alp sight of any reason to live but you have always helped me realize that im not okay and that i have a problem no matter how many times my parents tell me im just making excuses and im just so thankful that you exist. Thank you so much Dodie💜


It’s a really vicious cycle!! I’ve been depersonalised and dissociated for a few weeks now mostly, and I feel like everything I see isn’t the same, even photos on my wall look different, looking at my dog doesn’t feel right, and I’m a lot more distant from my partner.. I get in to these deep depression episodes where my mind feels like it’s in the middle of nowhere and I feel no emotions when it happens.. I got so bad just the other day where I was sitting down and I stared blankly then all of a sudden I couldn’t think and it felt like my brain completely died, I felt like I was officially crazy and it made me panic and all I could do was cry and be scared. Sitting alone with yourself doesn’t make depersonalisation or dissociation any better, which I still need to learn, but going out in public is scary when you feel scared at every noise and things sound so much louder but they sound different at the same time or you can’t recognise the sound at all but you know what the noise is deep down.. it’s so frustrating and scary. Some days even finding it difficult to reach for my phone because my surroundings become such a blur . Definitely know how you feel ❤❤❤ stay strong, even the darkest of moments don’t last forever xxxx


Hey Dodie. I just needed to say that you're so brave and amazing.
I think this video will help other people.

I don't know if you've heard of this but it can be calming if you're feeling down or stressed, It's called tapping.
You pretty much tap certain areas on your body (lol this sounds really weird) whilst thinking/saying that it's okay to feel like this and then you normally end it on a happy note.

I'm the worst at explaining things but you can google it.

I can vouch for this! You tap a certain pattern on various pressure points across your upper body and as crazy as it sounds, it has brought me down from countless anxiety attacks. Would recommend :)

I think she might know what it is, she mentioned doing something similiar in a previous video (im really scared of dying lol) but she used it more in a way that people with OCD do, so i think this is definitely a healthier way to cope. I might try this too, cause i cope by tapping alot as well, so this is probably alot healthier. Thanks for posting this!


dodie!! i love u so much!! i am going through very similar things and i just wanted to let you know that when i'm starting to feel weird or panicky i always come and listen to your music to help me feel better, and it always does. I hope for u to have an amazing future and we love you so much!!!


Hearing someone say how I am feeling is the strangest thing in the world. Thank you dodie


4:20
Even when crying she's still really funny


You are so amazing and so brave for putting yourself out there. Thank you so much ❤


I'm thirteen. I've had suicidal thoughts before, and now I feel like I'm already dead, which is worse. I cried a lot before, but now I feel numb. At night, I can't sleep, and I stare into the darkness for hours, thinking thoughts that really hurt. Sometimes I cry, and it's the biggest relief. Sometimes I have panic attacks, and honestly, they make me feel more normal, because at least that reaction to my depressing thoughts seems  more appropriate than being numb. Sometimes I have anxious episodes and think everyone's judging me. Sometimes I welcome death and sometimes I fear it because my life so far has been lived deep in an ocean where there's no one and I haven't had an effect on anyone's life, so if I die I'll have died having had a completely pointless existence of pain. I understand so many things that my mind can't handle. I'm sinking, but I can't tell which way's up. I only know I'm sinking because of the voices that tell me I am. People say they're in my head. That's just an ignorant way of saying the voices are me. Ignorance is bliss. I wish I were ignorant.

Rose Lalonde I’m so sorry, please try and get the help you need. Try talking to someone. Try for a therapist or maybe a mental hospital. I know a hospital sounds scary but sometimes it really really helps people. I can’t do anything for you but please try and get help, don’t leave this alone. You sound in danger

same, I'm 11 and I'm not proud of these things.

Wow, you were just thirteen. You're so much mature than older people I know. I hope you're feeling better now, based on this (totally relatable) I can see you're such a great and interesting person. I wish you the best 💟

I really liked what you said, that was very brave of you. I don't really tell anyone but I really really wish I could talk about it as openly as you can. Sometimes I feel like everything is just flat, like the view from the eyes is just flat, my emotions are flat, my reactions that are normally happy and optimistic are just flat and I really hate that feeling. For me too, crying helps so very much. I really think its very therapeutic. And I don't know if anyone's really gonna read this or whatever but I am probably sounding very stupid and dumb right now but thanks for reading anyway.

You are so strong and you can get through this I know this sounds really hard but you have gone through so much and your still here, still breathing, still thinking, still talking and again you are so strong and I believe in that you can get through this. Try talking about how you feel to a trusted friend that you know listen well- talking about it really helps, or a trusted grownup xx

I'm not even fucking joking, i can relate to this <b>so hard.</b> PLEASE tell me this is a condition or something

I'm not even fucking joking, i can relate to this *so hard.* PLEASE tell me this is a condition or something

Rose Lalonde I can relate to every word of this.

Rose Lalonde I know you posted your comment quite awhile ago, but I honestly hope that you are doing well. 🌼🐌

Rose Lalonde wow. I may as well pour out my soul also. I am 11 years old. I have two suicidal friends and one friend who has attempted suicide. twice. I talk to a counsellor but sometimes (this will sound weird) I forget everything. who I am. What's wrong. where I am. it's so brief but so scary.

Trust me, we are SO proud of you for being able to pour out your feelings like this. Just know that you are going to be okay. Keep fighting, you're here for a reason. Believe me, you aren't alone, and you never will be. :)

Rose Lalonde I realate it has only happened once though I was at a dance party and i felt like I was watching a movie. I'm scared I am scared of mental illness it's only happened once I am not sure what happened it has been about six months ago and hasn't happened since I am only 11. I keep on writhing it of as growing up but I'm scared I haven't told anyone else because my best friend is hanging out with her crush so I don't have anyone to talk to anymore. I wish I wasn't so scared so I could tell someone I'm lost.

Rose Lalonde I think I know how you feel. I'm thirteen and it's been a year since I felt real hapiness. In the last 6 months, I've been hospitalized ( don't know if that's how you write it, I'm brazilian, sorry) 4 times for different reasons. And that's how I realized all of us can get sick, anytime. In one second, you're fine, and in the next one, you're a mess. That's what I went/am going throught. I'm a mess. I had problems that had nothing to do with each other and made a mess, because it was all at the same time. And I keep thinking about people who have a lot more issues than me, and sometimes these issues are even worse then mine. I keep trying to keep that kind of thoughts away, but it only made me worse, it kept me wondering about existance, life and why are we all here, living. I'm pretty sure that I'll get better with time, that's what pushes me on. Maybe you should keep in mind that when you've reached the bottom, there's only one way out: up. It'll probably take a while, but you'll get there. We will.

Rose Lalonde <br>I honestly relate so much. I'm also 13 (almost 14) And i have been going through The same thing but haven't been able to put it into words

Rose Lalonde
I honestly relate so much. I'm also 13 (almost 14) And i have been going through The same thing but haven't been able to put it into words

femke edelbroek hey i want to talk, i don't have anyone else to talk to

hey if any on you just need to talk to a random person who doesn't know you just so you can talk about it with someone, I'm willing to help. I'm always willing to help. so if anyone's actually interested, say so because then I'll leave an emailaddress in the comments.

Hope everything's okay, I'm 15 and I'm dealing with I suppose "de-personalisation." I try to "feel" emotion, but I feel empty. I feel like I'm not really alive, I've been feeling like this since October/November.

I'm a lot better now. I finally broke down and lost it a bit, and then I started to realize that the way I see things is wrong, and that I was driving myself crazy over other people's problems. My dad was depressed as well, and he's gotten better, and my brother is probably autistic and he was having a lot of issues, especially when my dad was. They've both gotten better, and so have I. I've focused myself a lot more on the things that matter to me, and I'm not numb. I'm not hurting, either. I did, and I still do sometimes, but not as much as I used to. Thank you so much for the support and prayers (I'm Christian as well). I'm praying for all of you as well. Anyone reading these who are in pain right now, know that it really does get better. Just hold on, and don't be afraid to hurt, because it's the only way to feel human. Just remember that you need to feel joy and love and hope to be human, too.

my friend is like this. it hurts me to see it. i know that she thinks she makes no differece in anyone life, that shes a burden, better off with no friends, or worse yet, dead.
I cry thinking of that. Cry so hard and wish and hope with all my might that she can somehow read my mind, because no matter how many times I tell her how important she is, she will not believe it. She's ill, I cant blame her.
You dont know how everyone sees you, people can suprise you.
There is an island in that sea, theres a boat there too. Dont give up just because you think it will never come.

But seriously, get help, even call a hotline. (I wish I could tell you some but idk where you are from).

Philseyelash I do too but remember what Dan and Phil said about this and it makes me feel a little better

A writer with a reason to write I'm 14 and I've been going through derealization and dissociation since I was 12 I feel for u and if u wanna talk...

Philseyelash stay strong fellow phandom member <3

i understand. I feel exactly the same way.

2003lollypop I am getting thereapy today I am so scared

A writer with a reason to write you have every reason to live. you may not know this but a lot of people, including me, care about you. I don't even know you. I suffer with mental health issues and I know how hard it is. stay strong x

A writer with a reason to write - you have many days ahead of you that WILL be better and brighter than the previous, stay strong my friend x

A writer with a reason to write the song numb by marina and the diamonds describes this feeling well. Her transition into happiness through music is inspiring. If you're looking for a good cry, listen to her

I feel the exact same way. I can't help you on all of it but, I do believe or I think I can with feeling important and that you've changed anthers life. I started asking people if I ever had an impact on them or if i ever helped them through a bad day. It was also than I realized who really cares about me. Something else that helped was doing random acts of kindness. Which can go from saying thank you to one of my teachers or smiling at a stranger to going to the soup kitchen and serving meals to the homeless. I suggest little ones first, than if you feel the need move your way up. Lastly something that helped me the most, and I don't know if you are religious or not, but I am and I started praying my Heavenly Father about what i was feeling and he helped me and is still helping me, anyone who's not religious wouldn't understand i don't think and I might sound crazy but without him id probably wouldn't still be here.<br>I hope this helps

I feel the exact same way. I can't help you on all of it but, I do believe or I think I can with feeling important and that you've changed anthers life. I started asking people if I ever had an impact on them or if i ever helped them through a bad day. It was also than I realized who really cares about me. Something else that helped was doing random acts of kindness. Which can go from saying thank you to one of my teachers or smiling at a stranger to going to the soup kitchen and serving meals to the homeless. I suggest little ones first, than if you feel the need move your way up. Lastly something that helped me the most, and I don't know if you are religious or not, but I am and I started praying my Heavenly Father about what i was feeling and he helped me and is still helping me, anyone who's not religious wouldn't understand i don't think and I might sound crazy but without him id probably wouldn't still be here.
I hope this helps

I know you probably don't feel like you have anyone, but you should seek help or even just a bit of advice! Recovery is possible, you just need a bit of hope and guidance along the way :) I hope you find peace soon!

A writer with a reason to write you are not alone x


This is the first video of yours I had ever seen. I was experiencing really bad depersonalisation and I was going insane. This made me sob when I watched it. I still felt spaced out and terrified, but I felt less crazy. Thank you.


Omg thank you SO SO SO much for making this video and being so friggin honest about this. It feels INCREDIBLE listening to someone else describe how they feel and finally seeing someone put into words what’s happening to me. Thank you thank you thank you. 😌


Thank you for this it's nice to be able to relate to someone amidst a bout of depression <3 <3 much love and gratitude <3


Even in 2019 I come to ur videos to cope with my depression I feel like anything I do i don’t  feel like I would normally feel I feel like I’m not there just a human body and I’ve been through so much it just burys me deeper into depression


Dodie, thank you so so much for making this video. I can relate to this on so many levels, life seems like an eternal dream, but not in a positive way. Everything seems new and weird and unusual like I am an alien visiting this world for the first time, not familiar with basic human emotions. I came back from my trip to America yesterday. It was my first time flying, first time out of Europe and first time in another country on my own. It was an amazing trip, we went to New York, I celebrated my birthday there...  You would think I would feel amazing, on top of the world, inspired. But instead, I felt nothing.
I am a skin without a soul, the eyes without the sparkle. The flame has been blown out and I can't find any matches.
My mom doesn't take me seriously, my dad doesn't even know and although my friends love me and care for me, they aren't therapists. When school starts again I'll go to my counsellor and see if he/she can help me get in touch with a therapist.
Again, thank you so much. It is good to know I am not the only one feeling this way and I hope that one day we all can feel "normal" again.

@Darvin Florian Thanks! I was also thinking about this and I am going to have myself checked by a therapist :)

What You have is called Depersonalization I am by no means a doctor but I've been suffering myself !

+Miguel López thank you so much! This gave me some hope :)

i know how you feel, I've been feeling like this for like four months. But I have to tell you something, it gets better. I started to see a therapist, and with time therapy worked! I started to feel less foggy, more connected, less panicky and less anxious. Sure, I'm not completely cured and there are days when I feel bad, but there are days when I feel great! Always remember that mental illness is CURABLE, and with time, patience, and the help that works for you, you will start to notice that symptoms fade, till its completely gone, good luck!!

@Lindsey McCormack I am so sorry to hear this, love. I promise you, we'll be alright. It will take some time, but you are stronger than you think, you can do this x

@***** dankjewel lieverd x
Ik ben zo trots op je dat je zover bent gekomen!
Hopelijk lukt dat mij ook op een dag :)

@***** Thank you so much, this means a lot to me :)

There's weeks where nothing feels real like it freaks like a nightmare and I feel like I'm watching everytimg go on around me in a kinda slow mo but I'm not contributing it. It usually happens when I'm really down and kinda numb and anxious idk it's scary as fuck.

felt the same way for a while, like I was not really here but just in a dream and I was sooo scared that I would wake up and that all of it was a dream.. had a lot of panic attacks around that time 0_o but you know what: I'm feeling way better now it has been a year since I had a panic attack :) so don't give up it's really gonna be okey ^-^ hope you will feel well soon


You. Are. So. Strong. You have been through so much, and yet here you are, still living, still thriving, still thinking positive. You are an inspiration to us all and I am so grateful that you have decided to share your story with us.
You have helped me realize that it's totally okay not to feel happy all the time, that it's normal. That there are ups and downs in every person's life. That being positive isn't being happy all the time, it's knowing that when hard times come that better ones are ahead.
You truly have helped me see my mental illnesses in a different light and I will be forever in your debt. <3


I’ve never related to a video more in my entire life. This is exactly how I feel and also I feel like I can’t speak to anyone about it because they don’t understand or they think I’m just being dramatic or attention seeking. But mental illnesses are just as real as any other illness and no one should feel this way. I really just hope it gets better because I hate feeling this way❤ I love all of you and I hope that you can find happiness and hope and someone kind to talk to❤ and please don’t give up💕


Wow. Thank you. I've never heard someone explain my life better than you. Just.. thank you for making me feel normal.


I could relate to this so much and it just made me so happy to know I'm not the only person experiencing these symptoms


my mom tends to use my mental illness against me, saying things like "everyone feels like that sometimes" or "do you want to go to [local mental health institution]? that place will really mess you up if you don't have anything wrong with you." i love writing, and she thinks i'm one of those writers that has to have "a troubled soul" to write. it makes me so scared, thinking that everything i feel is a lie when i know it's not. i feel like i can't talk to anybody seriously, especially after a few very serious conversations with my mom that didn't result in me getting medical help, so i use my mental illness, my depression, as a punchline or a joke because i feel like it's the only catharsis i have. i know it's ridiculous and irrational and i know joking about it is the worst way to cry for help, but i feel like it's all i can do. <br>that being said, thank you dodie for speaking so openly about your mental health and reminding me that i'm definitely not as alone as i think i am.

my mom tends to use my mental illness against me, saying things like "everyone feels like that sometimes" or "do you want to go to [local mental health institution]? that place will really mess you up if you don't have anything wrong with you." i love writing, and she thinks i'm one of those writers that has to have "a troubled soul" to write. it makes me so scared, thinking that everything i feel is a lie when i know it's not. i feel like i can't talk to anybody seriously, especially after a few very serious conversations with my mom that didn't result in me getting medical help, so i use my mental illness, my depression, as a punchline or a joke because i feel like it's the only catharsis i have. i know it's ridiculous and irrational and i know joking about it is the worst way to cry for help, but i feel like it's all i can do.
that being said, thank you dodie for speaking so openly about your mental health and reminding me that i'm definitely not as alone as i think i am.

OMG is my mum living a double life and we are secretly twins?

I couldn't talk about it with my mom either because even if she's the best she wouldn't understand it. I mean she's introvert to but she would never talk about these things to anyone if she felt any anxiety stuff. She would just cover it and without ever telling me to do it or something like that I do it to. Cover it up and don't talk about anxiety, panic fear. Fake it till you make. Even if I'm pretty sure that I'll never make it.

this is exactly what my mom would say. even after my suicide attempt and she told me it was all for attention. three years later and I've gotten help and see a therapist and take medication that helps me. you're definitely not alone and things do get better and you will get help in the future. I think your mom won't except it because in her mind it means she was a bad parent, or thats why my mom wouldn't except it along with that she had a terrible childhood and she didn't see my experiences comparable to hers. people suck but don't let yourself think what your feeling isn't real. if it makes you feel bad and you're trying to make it go away that's how you know it's real. you wouldn't fake something you wouldn't want to feel, thats ridiculous.

My mom does the same thing and threatens me with psychologists or having mental illness or 'How can you be depressed or have anxiety I had it so much worse' and 'what's wrong with you'

Do you go to a school that has somebody that can help. Sorry if you've already tried, but I hope you can get help and understanding x

i am absolutely aware of how you feel because i do the same thing and the people i know irl also treat me the same way, or say the same things and it bothers me so much but i can't do anything about it. 3 years since I've been dealing with mental illness and now i consider it the official joke punchline of my life and i know that's not healthy but i feel like it's the only way i can talk about it without being degraded by others and it sucks bcz i don't know what else to do.

Before I was diagnosed with depression I knew I was depressed. The few times I approached my Mum about it she told me that I was just having a bad day or similar to what your Mum says to you. After I was diagnosed she admitted to me that she didn't want to admit it to herself that I was depressed. It may be the same with your Mum.<br>I understatement how hard it is to go to a doctor but I really recommend doing it. You know yourself best, nobody else, so if you are unhappy then you know best. I hope you can find someone to talk to who listens and understands you. X

Before I was diagnosed with depression I knew I was depressed. The few times I approached my Mum about it she told me that I was just having a bad day or similar to what your Mum says to you. After I was diagnosed she admitted to me that she didn't want to admit it to herself that I was depressed. It may be the same with your Mum.
I understatement how hard it is to go to a doctor but I really recommend doing it. You know yourself best, nobody else, so if you are unhappy then you know best. I hope you can find someone to talk to who listens and understands you. X

mine does too, can't amount the number of times she's told me to just stick it out, or think happy so I can be happy, or just to tell the thoughts no, like that's ot how it works


I'm so happy that I found this and you are really brave to post this and thank you so much for it, I really really liked it.


Depersonalisation. Feeling like you're going mad. I've never really been able to describe how I am and this is the closest thing I have heard to what I felt and that is amazing because I knew it was a form of anxiety but I never understood it. Thank you for this dodie.


this made me cry, she managed to put into word exactly how I feel, I wish I was able to tell someone.  its really scary


I'm going to the doctors soon but I'm 13 and I'm so scared that they'll patronize me and tell me that I'm fine and i should just go on walks or something

@Army omg hey i forgot about this comment!! thankfully things got a bit better since i wrote this but it sucks that doctors don’t believe people when they are struggling with their mental health :(( i hope everyone in this comment sections finds something that can help them - love you all <3

I've been to the doctor's twice, the optician and a blood test for this and everyone has just told me to get more sleep and I'm just tired and stressed. Obviously, when I'm stressed it's worse but I've literally been feeling like I'm dreaming since 2018 ahh

Lily G yeah same. Or they’ll tell me I’m faking (which I’m not) but I’m still going because I can’t deal with this anymore.

Well... you should also go on walks! If that's feasible

i'm 13 too and i'm going in about a month. i'm so scared too. but the other comment is right. how did it go?


Guuuurl. All too relatable. Especially when you were talking about going back to visit your old family home. So sorry to hear that you've been struggling but it's nice to know that I'm not alone with these feelings and experiences. This video (and your other videos related to mental health) are going to be so helpful to a lot of people. Thank you for continuing to share parts of your story. Sending you lots of love!!

Dodie, if you want to talk to someone, I'm here for u!

Ahhhh dude. I watch your videos on mental health and feel exactly the same. Brains suck. lol.

Lots of love also! <3


I've experienced depersonalization only once, and it might have been the most terrifying experience I've ever had. I think it was like my brain trying to ignore my ptsd, but I felt completely insane. I'm lucky it hasn't happened again.


Im so glad I found your channel, I've never met or seen anybody who feels the same way as me, down to the last detail even the whole thing about needing anything familiar so you can feel normal again like you did at the time of the familiar thing or memory, I've been stuck in my house for 4 years, that's when it started and I feel like I look as weird as I feel like I don't look human any more and I feel like I don't know how to do anything normal even down to blinking walking anything, it made me cry when I watched this video not just knowing I'm not the only one, but also because I understand what you're going through I felt your pain, I haven't been to a doctor about anything other than depression and anxiety and body dismorphia disorder, because I feel like they'll shrug it off as they did with you, anyways thankyou for you're stories you are amazing, and I hope we can one day feel like ourselves again 🙏🏼


I'm so glad you've described this and said all of this. I felt like anything I felt was so small and insignificant and whenever I would try to talk about it, I felt like it was being received at dramatic or made up and it made me feel crazy. I'm only 18 and I'm in that part of existence where you're supposed to have yourself together and sorted and I just feel... nothing. I can sit and do nothing for hours and feel nothing of it until repercussions hit me. And it's generally around my study so I'm really "damaging my future" or whatever. I just don't feel like I'm physically and mentally here.. I'm off somewhere else and no one seems to get it so I've always thought I was making it up. I should talk to someone about it.


I thought I was the only one who felt like this. Honestly it helps so much to know there are other people going through the same thing. I literally thought I was going insane and i felt so ashamed. Thank you for making a video on this Dodi ❤


This is so accurate to how I'm feeling. I've never known how to explain this and I was terrified I was alone and going insane, but now I'm so relieved that someone actually understands and I'm not on my own in feeling this way. Thank you for making this video, you truly helped. I love you

This also helped me at one point I did just feel crazy and mad, for me it is an on and off thing that I never until now said anything about.

+Lauren Bolton Your not alone,  just looking through this comment section,  most people have felt like that at least once in there life.  - I had major depression and thought about ending my life but here I am loving every second of life even if it's cruel sometimes

Of course you're not insane. Don't let anybody tell you that. I'm sorry you might've had a difficult time with that in the past. Things can only get better from here. I hope you feel better really soon, you deserve it. :)

I'm crying with happiness right now because finally someone understands and I'm not insane


I love how honest you are and you help me and many people, Thank you! I see you now and you look less confuse. Hope therapy helped. 🤗🤗


This helped me so much. I have PTSD and dissacociate 50% of the time.


My heart dropped when you started to cry. I love you so so much dodie♥


And when people say 'Be with someone who motivates you, read, or watch something motivational' it is actually way more soothing, when you see someone who feels the same like you, because this is what really cheers you up! Thanks for your video!


Thanks for sharing and being so open, you make many people feel less alone.
Including myself.
Love you Dodie! 🌻


I've been dealing with depersonalization/derealization for years now still struggling! Trying my best to stay positive


i cant even explain the feeling. i have all of these. my family always tells me "your life isnt even bad" i know. its pretty amazing but the issue isnt my life. its the life im living inside my head.


i see myself in you so much. I just broke down crying to my boyfriend, feeling the same way. He unfortunately had to leave for work and I came across your video, thank you. im distracted now and I feel like im not alone


4:15-4:20 is me at my therapist...even the "dammit!" I cry at everything haha..then get angry at me crying at everything

I don't know enough about your context to feel I can be all that helpful, but there's one thing that I think is really important to keep in mind. Reading through the comments, I found someone else say it well, so here's how Eva Kirk put it (in response to Melanie C.): "here's the thing- everyone's feelings and problems are relevant to them. If you are struggling mentally and it is affecting your everyday life, you should never ever deny yourself help just because someone else out there might have it worse than you do. That's like refusing to go to the doctors to treat your broken wrist because someone else in the world has a broken neck which is more serious. ... You deserve true happiness so don't ever believe that you are unworthy of help or treatment. Wish you all the best xx." I hope this helps! :)

@C. Katrina Storey Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. <3

@Bri Roster well..I have clinical depression & severe anxiety (yay me..it's not that sad, I'm on meds & life is great again) so I have a bias opinion. It's really healthy to let out your emotions & burst out into tears from time to time. I don't do that..I usually bottle things up until I have no choice but to cry, hence why I break down when I'm at the therapist...I finally face my fears. but she tells me all the time that it's good to cry. I mean, you are 12 so you're probably going through a shit ton of emotional changes bc puberty but I wouldn't let it bother you too much...I don't think you should seek any medical attention for it unless it's affecting your every day life. If you're just breaking down every now & then..whateverrrr..we're all humans, we all cry. You're nothing but normal :P but if it's stopping you from enjoying life, like physically not wanting to get out of bed, not enjoying yourself even though you know you should be (like at a party or with friends), feeling like you aren't inside your body..I'd get some help. Hope that helps.

I'm sorry to be a bother but... Is it weird when I just break down crying in my bed for no reason? And you yell at yourself to stop because there's nothing going on and people are out there doing way worse than you. Then you see these posts about being strong for way to long. And you think that's not me I'm just a whinny little brat. But deep down u think it might be. I don't really know these things happen to me every month of waves of crying for no reason. I have never told anyone about this so :p. But I'm 12 and is it normal to have these things happen? Probably I'm just rambling...

My first two sessions I was tearing up just walking up the stairs to her office, then once I sat down I just started crying


Just got diagnosed with depersonalisation I feel scared and like I’m never gonna feel normal again. Thank you for this video it solidified in my mind the fact that I’m not going insane. And that I’m not alone. Thank you sm.


dodie it warms my heart so much to see your videos and hear you talk, it reminds me so much of how I feel myself, and the fact that you are still here and is doing this youtube thing and talking openly about all these things is soo important and amazing and I LOVE YOU and I hope that you will never give up and never stop being exactly who you are <3


This feeling,that everything feels so deaf and unreal,makes me feel that I'm not real...like I wear a 360°Glasses/Camera
AND this is not the real world....
😕

Do you have other issues like that? It sounds like disassociastion, but do you experience other stuff aswell?

Becaus i think i have DP/DR as i have most of the symptoms.


You're a very inspirational and strong woman. I hope you are aware that this helps so much 💞


The amount of love I have for this incredible women is insane


Thank you for sharing this. Youtube recommendation and the weird ways it works, i really relate to this. Hope you're better now.


You make me feel understood & I can’t tell you how much that helps .


I've had depersonalisation for 8 years now. When it first started back when I was 13 I felt exactly the same, like I was crazy and that I was going to spiral into madness. Since I found a name for it and realised it's an actual condition I realised that I wasn't alone and there were things I could do about it. I got therapy which unfortunately didn't help for me but now I'm doing what I love and not letting it beat me, im happy and the illness no longer controls me. Anyway, the moral of the story to anyone reading is don't let these things break you down, you're not alone and there is help :)


This is exactly how I've been feeling for the past year or so. It stated when I was 12 and it's slowly been getting harder and harder to deal with. Up until now I didn't know what it was of how to describe it, but you've put it into words and I wanted to let let you know that I understand how you're feeling, and I hope that one day you'll feel better, as I hope that one day I will too <3

@SuperJollyRainbows        Thanks! And actually, yeah, I'm planning on either being a writer or a physicist of some kind, so yeah! Thanks!

+Nuala Halpin I remember being ten years old and feeling so isolated from everyone and everything. I spent a lot of time outside alone in nature and sometimes I'd just go somewhere and cry. At ten years old your brain is starting to change really fast so it can feel like your old self is dying because in your brain old neurological pathways are literally dying and new ones are being formed. I learned that in a brain course I took in college. I've also been a generally depressed person ever since I started kindergarten and didn't fit in with people so it's hard to say where one's problems truly begin. Anyway, I hope that things get better for you. Being a kid in school is really the hardest part of anyone's life in my opinion.

 Also, don't ever let adults just brush off your problems because you're young. Your emotions are valid no matter what age you are and you deserve to be listened to. Wishing you the best.

(Also also, this is completely off-topic but you're a very eloquent writer for your age. If you have interest in pursuing writing as a career you should definitely go for it! You'd be awesome.)

@Nuala Halpin I know. But let's enjoy life while we have it :)

@Cute Cupcake     Not gonna happen for me, I like being pessimistic all the time, it's a good laugh when I can point at something really positive and twist it so that THE WHOLE WORLD IS GOING TO DIE!!! 😂 Serious though, we're all going to die one day, and then our children will be dead, and all the millions of people throughout history are dead, every single one of them...😶

@Nuala Halpin :) I'm quite pessimist sometimes too, but I've "trained" myself (if that makes any sense) to be positive.

@Cute Cupcake    "Be positive" 😂 That just makes me laugh, being a pessimist down to the deepest pits of my soul, I am a pessimist, and "being positive" isn't exactly one of my strong points. 😂 Thanks for kinda making my day. 😂

You will be better =) Distract yourself, do things you love and don't give in to depersonalisation. Be positive and enjoy life. I know that is easier said than done, but that's what I've been doing and it's getting a little bit better. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. This is a slow recovery. We WILL all get out of this! Keep believing, and keep living. <br>Good Luck with your recovery <3

You will be better =) Distract yourself, do things you love and don't give in to depersonalisation. Be positive and enjoy life. I know that is easier said than done, but that's what I've been doing and it's getting a little bit better. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. This is a slow recovery. We WILL all get out of this! Keep believing, and keep living.
Good Luck with your recovery <3

Same for me, only I'm not sure how long this has been going on, (at the most three years) and that I don't really feel like this video describes, but I'm close.
I'm ten years old, and I'm so confused it almost hurts.
I dont know, I just don't know.
I don't know who I am, who I want to be, who I should be, or who i should act like.
This isn't peer pressure or me wanting to fit in, I just honestly dont know who I am.
I think I may have lost my mind, but not in the "I'm going crazy" kind of way, it's more in a "Hey, where did I go? I'm sure I had Me somewhere around here... Hold on, didn't I once have a soul and a sense of purpose once? I wonder where I went..." kind of way.
 I feel like I put all of Me in a box somewhere while I was working on my brain (as in my knowledge of physics and science and brainy smarts stuff), and when I went back to start working on the rest of me, I found that it was gone.
I don't know if this is even real, or something that's made up, but it kind of feels like it is.
I feel like I'm not me anymore, but a jumble of other people, jammed together in a makeshift attempt at becoming a person.
I think I'll get better though, and maybe it's just maintenance on me again, because I was feeling really depressed and suicidal for a few years, until suddenly I just kind of felt like... I could be happy again. I could smile and laugh and I didn't really see the point in dying anymore. Maybe this will work the same, and one day I'll just wake up and think, "Hm, I know who I am now." and everything will be okay again.
And even if it doesn't, I'll get help, and things will be better, at the very least.
I'm ten years old, so confused it almost hurts, but I'll be okay.


its 2021, my mental health is shit and everything keeps getting worse to the point that I'm failing school. Currently doing a project where I have to search up about people I look up to, and stumbled on this video.

Thank you. I needed this. and like you said then, I will try my bloody hardest :)


Seeing you force yourself out of crying made me see how I look because I do stuff like that to force myself not to cry.


I Love your attitude! I'm also in the dp hole and it can really be hell sometimes but what else can you do than to do the things you enjoy and make you feel better, seek help if needed, accept it and laugh at and through it? Namaste!


I just wanted to say that even though I don’t know you, I’m proud of you for fighting how you feel. Its clear you want to be happy again and thats the most important thing because in the end, you are the only person with enough power to do this. You’re genuinely dealing with it in the best way u can. Good job 🥺❤


I’ve had a tough year with change and new things. This video has summed up everything I’ve been feeling. I’m too scared to ask for help so I’m just trying to get better on my own. But this video and comments gave me hope. ❤


i used to smoke a lot to cope with depression so the whole time I thought that that was just how getting high feels like( it was not an enjoyable experience, but i would choose the altered reality feeling and hyper awareness/ dreamlike state over being depressed in my bed. because at least when I was dealing with it I was laughing and "watching" myself laugh so I convinced myself I was happier that way) , and then it started happening on days in which I wasn't even high and over the years it's gotten worse and worse but now it's something I still deal with. Still need to get help but am too uncomfortable to talk to my parents about it. :/


Wow this was a year ago..<br>Dodie I love you!! :) I can relate. You are so brave.

Wow this was a year ago..
Dodie I love you!! :) I can relate. You are so brave.


I love you so much and I wish I could give you another hug💛thank you for sharing and helping so many people to realise that they’re not alone x


It's so scary feeling that strange and you can't explain it. I'm glad more people are being open with their symptoms and feelings so people who are going through the same thing can see that it's happening to others too. Good luck in your recovery !

Karen, all I can say is that, sweetheart, I promise you that you're going to be just fine. be strong, love!

I'm glad her symptoms do not seem so physical because when i went through depression i couldn't eat anything and constantly threw up anything that I've managed to put in my stomach, as well as not being able to go to sleep because of constant heart throbs and anxious thoughts. And all these happened next to the general feeling of being mentally seperated from everyone else like she's describing it. It was definitely the worst phase of my life that I've ever been through but i'm okay now.

Hello I can relate your story to mine. My boyfriend is my world my soulmate and my my future husband. We met up 4 weeks ago and stayed to his place for 5 days! We celebrate out first anniversary. But now he just broke up with me that he couldn't handle the pressure of being in a relationship and that he doesn't want to be with me! I felt to shocked and cried a lot! He still calls me but never message. I don't know what to do! Anyone please help me what to do! Because I know this is not him! I know he is the loving guy I saw 4 weeks ago and we were so close! Is the depression something to do with this? Or is it just me? I'm truly lost. Need your advice I appreciate it! Thank you!

+Wacky Shenanigans The comment section for this video is such a supportive place.


Ever since I was 11 I have had really bad anxiety, but for the past 6 months I have felt exactly like this. I try explaining it to my friends and family and even went to see a therapist, but nobody understands what I actually mean when I talk about it or they think I've gone insane. I haven't really watched any of Dodie's videos but for some reason I still clicked on this video. And as soon as she started talking about depersonalization I was so relieved. This made me feel so much better knowing that somebody actually gets it. Somebody actually understands what I'm going through. Thank you for making me feel not so alone. I'm officially a fan now.❤


This was just what I needed. Took me 7 years since my first crisis to look for help. I thought it was some teenage phase and now that I`m an adult I see I have an issue and I needed help. I`m on medicine for two months now and it`s starting to help a lot. Lots of strength for you.


Props to you for reaching out to people to talk about what you're going through <3 those message are way more than I've ever told most of my friends/family about my experiences!


I can so relate. Thank you for putting this out there. Shame your first doctor consolidate the idea that you were making it up; that's just awful. I'm with you on the journey, though a little farther along. The struggle is real. You're an inspiration.


Whatever your going through, we will be there by your side and try our absolute best to support you. <3 I have been rematching all of your original songs and you are incredibly talented, i know you know that but... yeah. In that sense your quite lucky i guess :) Its ok if you can't explain what your going through. You will have people who will listen to you and help you, even if you make no sense whatsoever. You have us and you have your family and friends. I know you know that too but i just wanted to say... ur crazy, and thats ok, you'll get through it, I believe in youuuuuu! <3 <3 <3

Dodie your the best!  I go through stages of my life when I have depression but I now have great friends , music,  art to fight/distract it. It was impossible at the start because I was all alone but there is always hope even when the illness has got you 24/7 there's always a spark. I bet you help people who we're in my position and are fighting with them now even though it might seem your doing nothing.  XD Dodie,  we are all here for you,  tears are allowed to be shed because it will all be over soon!!  <3 <3 <3 'Life is cruel but also the best place ever'


hey, I just wanted to say that I have had a similar experience with a doctor dismissing how I felt and watching your video kinda gives some strange courage to try looking for help again.


This is me today. You are right, it does help to know others go through this. Thank you for making this.


I know exactly what you are going through, I ignored my derealisation for so long that it triggered panic attacks and from having panic attacks multiple times a day my world became very small, I lost my job and became housebound. This was 3 years ago and I got a new job and I'm doing so much better! I have learned better coping skills and something what really helped me was the thought of ''even if this is a dream, it's okay and I can rock this' like some real dreams can be fun. That is like my anchor thought when going through an 'episode'. Some of my friends did understand my thoughts too (or atleast some), most people think about life and the meaning behind it all. The difference it was for me compared to them was that I saw this as something scary and to be afraid off while it's not! It's okay to feel weird, dreamy, like you're out of your body, aliened etc. Just don't forget that the thought  on it self can never harm you. A distraction helps me if I just seem to not be able to get the feeling out of the way. If you want to chat, feel free :-)


I've only just found your videos and I'm so glad. I know this is an old video but idc. Thank you for this. I feel so much less alone in this.


As someone who knows how difficult it is to say 'I'm at a point where I can't work myself out of this mental state - I need help' I just want to say you've done so so so good, sweet Dodie. I hope you can feel the hugs and the love I send your way 💛 thank you for this video, this level of honesty, but I hope you don't feel like you have to invite the Internet and strangers into your head if you don't want to <br>Be good to and take care of yourself (whispers: it's super important)! xoxo

As someone who knows how difficult it is to say 'I'm at a point where I can't work myself out of this mental state - I need help' I just want to say you've done so so so good, sweet Dodie. I hope you can feel the hugs and the love I send your way 💛 thank you for this video, this level of honesty, but I hope you don't feel like you have to invite the Internet and strangers into your head if you don't want to
Be good to and take care of yourself (whispers: it's super important)! xoxo


Hi Dodie! I absolutely adore your videos and really appreciate the grace and kindness with which you share your life and music with us! After watching this video I was just wanting to suggest that there is perhaps an underlying affect of what you're experiencing. I experience the same thing and through trying to figure out why I learned that I have chronic Lyme disease and my personal experience with depersonalization is very much so intertwined with my Lyme and it's affects and can only be relived by taken medicines and supplements that lessen the inflammation caused by my disease.


i had never heard of depersonalization before this video, or that it was what i am feeling. i feel the same way as you, that i am living in a dream world with no escape, and i thought if i talked about it, people would think i'm just weird and disregard it. i tried talking to my friend about it once but she just kinda glazed over it and continued talking. this is also coupled with depression and anxiety. she also has depression and anxiety, but i know she has it and she doesn't know i have it, nor does anyone. this means that she thinks she can talk to me to let loose her feelings, which of course she can, but all her feelings have been combining with mine to create the mess that i am. my family just thinks i'm tired when i show these symptoms, and my friend just brushes them off. all throughout this i feel like i'm in a dream world where this is all just some sort of messed up simulation to make me feel the worst i can, when i know it's not. the feelings that i have are distant, but extremely strong. sorry if i made anyone read this, no one will care, i just needed a place to tell my feelings because there is no one else to tell


Love you so much. You're so inspiring. Your vids push me to keep going.


i love how down to earth and real you are dodie👌


I always feel like I'm in movie. If I talk to someone it feels staged and odd, like its unreal. Everything feels so distant in that moments.

Hi. I know this might seem weird and it's a comment that has been posted one year ago, but while I was watching the video, I was thinking of literally what you just said.And when I saw your comment I started tearing up because your words just perfectly match what I'm going through right now. It's been like this for some time...So I thought I'd ask you. Did you manage to overcome it? Are you better now?What helped you?


this is exactly how I’ve been feeling for over a year now, except that I don’t cry at all. I just feel numb. I never thought There’ll come a day when I relate to a person with depression, or at the very least understand how they feel. I am sorry you have to go through this.


Have you managed to overcome this in any way? I really struggle with this too and don't know what to do


Thank you for your transparency and how you describe your life experience with such honesty.


i cried at this video. she put my life into words, i love you dodge, keep it up :)


God Dodie... Ignoring the deep subject for a while, this was beautifully edited. Now going to the deep subject, I feel you, 100%. It's such a difficult thing to deal with and I feel like you really expressed these things so well. I'm also very very happy that you're getting help because God knows it's a tough journey and it's so fucking shit but I really hope that getting help will help your brain on that journey

Fucking hell I love you I'm crying so much. Good luck with fixing your brain xxx


This sounds exactly like what I'm going through. All the best.


Woah, I got deprsonilization really badly, its was so scary, like almost didnt recognise my movements or voice! Anyway, just wanted to say, if you raw going thru this, dont worry your not mad, it will pass. I love u xx


I feel this way when I’m hungover except it’s all day and I also feel this was when I don’t tell myself I need to focus but even then I feel it sometimes


When my symptoms of Depersonalization began I did the EXACT same thing she did. I withdrew from my university and went back to my home home. So when she said, “I just wanted to get into my old bed in my old room and feel normal again” that hit so hard because it’s such a scary feeling to go through.


oh dodes...you've really captured how i feel at times. its so difficult to explain how we feel sometimes. thank you for being able to share all your thoughts and feelings with us. i hope things look up for you, love ❤

oh lord when you just mentioned dovan flat I'm going to cry


Just stumbled on this and even though its from 2016 its incredibly relevant ... beautifully and simply and plainly and honestly said Dodie ... its crazy how even now mental health is still misunderstood ... and people till think ... Oh your just feeling a little down ... pull yourself together ... as you said it is sooo much more complicated than that .... well said Xx


Dodie!!! I wish I had found this three years ago, I had bad episodes of depersonalization since 2013 at the age of 16. It was great to have google and be able to have a name for this feeling. When it happened I knew I had a mental illness, though I never thought I would get one. When getting to college I was able to find friends who dissociate and it helped me heal. I love that you posted this. You are so relate-able and wonderful.


I watched this video the day it came out and I didn’t get it fully. at the time I only had struggled with anxiety and something I was unaware of and during that summer my mental illnesses were in an odd dormant state. since then I have been diagnosed with depression and I truly struggle with depersonalization. today I rewatched this video and I am in tears. You probably won’t ever see this dodie but thank you for sharing this. thank you for showing me I’m not alone. thank you for being confident enough to self diagnose because I was unable to and later I went into denial.  and thank you for sharing my insanity :P


The way I would describe depersonalization is that it feel like I have never existed or had a life before the point of feeling depersonalized...every time I talk it feel so foreign like it's someone else talking and I'm so aware that I'm looking through my eyes and at my hands and my legs as I sit down and think of nothing and evrything....I feel like my life is a dream or a tricked played on me and I'm just gonna suddenly wake up and not be me but someone else and that will feel more normal than this life


when she was reading out the texts it just seemed so crazy to me, how easy it was to share how you're feeling with other people.

Keisha Brooks same, I feel like I can't talk to my friends or family about anything, I'm not close to my family or anyone in that way, and I spend so much time wishing I was 💛

Keisha Brooks yeah I would never put my feelings on someone else. Why annoy them with the negativity inside my head


A lot of that really poked me in the heart brain feels. ❤


Being separated from true life and true and sane sexuality must be depressing af.


Oh boy and love you Dodie. You're such a ball of light and honesty. So strong.


My heart goes out to you, even though this was posted last year. Look after yourself. Xx


i can't relate but i feel like i really do understand (?) like sometimes i have bursts of feeling like im not in the moment and its like im looking through a camera. love you dodie, just remember how many people care about you

@Anna Coupland thank you and i hope you feel better. and dont freak out because other people feel the same too x

I have anxiety and i have that same feeling sometimes. like when I'm stressed i don't really believe i'm in the moment that's happening right now....But like I'm really asleep in bed not outside or in school or whatever. It's really freaking me out. And i agree with your message to dodie! xx


ya know, i think i feel like a 6/10. but i swear, when i watch your videos or listen to your music, it just fills me up with so much happiness. thank you.


Wow, I actually think a lot of the same things which you said. As much time as I feel bad for myself sometimes, I also feel for you and the others here too. Right now I'm using this time just to have me a moment to feel better and not be as pessimistic as usual.


Love your videos thank you for being real :)


I feel like I'm experiencing everything exactly the same as you. It got really bad last night and it felt like my brain was heating up and the warmth was just spreading all over my head and becoming painfully so i felt i had to shut my self off and just flop down into just becoming a body instead of a body with a brain inside it. I'm still being affected by it today, my brain still hurts D:


Dodie you really help so many people. You are such a blessing to the internet xoxo


Dodie you are a darling and I'm sorry that you feel this way though I'm glad that you are getting help and trying to do better ❤❤❤


i just found this video and I've felt this for a couple months now and i really thought i was the only one going through things like this. thank you so so so so so much for this. now i know I'm not insane and this is a real thing that people deal with. thank you thank you thank you.


It hurt me so much when you couldn’t say that sentence without bursting into tears because I can relate to everything you said in that sentence. I want to feel normal again too.. how are you doing? I hope you are recovering:)


Hey I just want to say I love this video and want to say for the longest time I did the same I pushed down my feelings of anxiety and just choked it up to just being easily worked up and I felt lonely cause I was the only one that felt this way and worked up over making a call or asking my dad or anyone for anything and that's why I love videos that talk openly about anxiety as someone that struggles with this it's good to not feel alone in this fight and I have being seeming a therapist since August


Dodie, no one's judging you or thinking you're a fraud or attention seeking.

+ (ps.i didn't know about the + thing now i do thank youuuu)

+FexloGuitar That's really cool. I like it.

It's a thing started a couple days ago by Hank Green on the vlogbrothers channel, a way to semi-fix the comment system. Since the comments algorithm pushes comments with a lot of replies to the top, controversial or offensive comments get seen first, because that's what people reply to. We're helping to correct that by pushing up comments we like and adding replies to them with a simple +.

There are probably people who are, that's the thing with a big audience. But I agree with this little add-on, because the most of us viewers are indeed being good human beings on this matter.

Also I would really recommend the book Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. It's hilarious and when you said that thing about laughing at the fact that your a bit mental I thought of this book.


Dodies like the best honestly I could never find someone who knew how this felt and it's just inspiring to hear her talk about it it makes me want to get as better as I can


I am so glad I just came over this video
After a month of thinking I am crazy because everything suddenly looked different and felt different and having panick attacks about it while my doctors just advised me to "drink water and wait" bacause they thought it to be the flu, I was diagnosed with depression, depersonalisation and anxiety yesterday. I can really relate to your story, thats 100% how I am feeling right now
Your video  really gives me hope that I am going to get better and feel like myself again one day:)


and here i am returning to this video. for two years, i’ve been weirded out by why i was so... facilitated by this mental illness. i’ve felt minor versions of this for three years now, and now i’m actually diagnosed. it got too damn scary so i finally did something about this. i feel crazy. i feel absolutely insane. nothing is real. anyway, thx for getting it.

Praying for you Chloe.  There is power in the name of Jesus.


wow, you've basically explained my everyday experience with life. Its extremely exhausting and confusing.. but I believe that since my depression and anxiety has gone down a wee bit, my disassociation has also gone down. But not completely. Its still here everyday for the most part, I guess i'm just not as scared of it anymore. Anyone ever notice that it isn't there first thing when you wake up ? Its almost like your brain has forgotten about it, and then through out the day you maybe remind yourself of it and it slowly seeps back in.  The mind is so powerful. Any who, I hope you're doing better, I feel your pain and everyone else who experiences disassociation/depersonalization. I know how it feels to think youre going crazy, that youre not real and everything around you is distorted. You feel tired, exhausted everyday, questioning your thoughts actions and if things will ever get better. I think it can get better.. I cut drinking, drugs, shitty people and stressful things that were triggering my depression and anxiety and I think things have gotten a bit better but not completely. Im on this journey myself as well so we shall see how it goes. I wish you all the best, take care


You are amazing! Telling everyone about your illness. I only just come across your channel and I am glad I did my partner has suffered with depression and suicidal thoughts on a daily basis for around 7 years maybe longer, and no pills are working. The reason I'm saying this is because I think my partner will benefit from watching your vlogs (and me too)  anyway I'm blabbing on :-p keep strong! Your awesome. ❤

+Luc&Dad Break FREE thank you very much that's really kind of you, my partners mental health team don't seem to want to help him, because he has a carer (me)  which is stupid. and like wise if you need to talk feel free to message me. :) <br>Thank you again I really appreciate it 🌹

+Luc&Dad Break FREE thank you very much that's really kind of you, my partners mental health team don't seem to want to help him, because he has a carer (me)  which is stupid. and like wise if you need to talk feel free to message me. :)
Thank you again I really appreciate it 🌹

Stay Strong Sophie, there is sooooo much in the world to see and experience your partner needs to talk openly , im a fulltime carer for 12 years of a sufferer of depression,anxiety and agoraphobia , pills are a means to an end that sometimes make the situation worse an more complicated , open and honest dialogue between partners, carers and mental health professionals in my opinion is the best type of medication....drop me  pm if you ever want to chat..Don (Dad)


I’m proud of you for making this. I often would like to make a video too but I know I’d get negative comments and that stops me


Suddenly I got really depression and I can't go to work right now and this really helped. <br>Thank you

Suddenly I got really depression and I can't go to work right now and this really helped.
Thank you


This broke my heart but it's so encouraging to see people who are going through the same thing as I am


I have depersonalization disorder too and hearing you speak about it makes me feel so much less insane. It feels so weird living life like you’re not actually living and life feels all fuzzy but I’m just glad I’m not alone in it.


I feel  you on this. thanks for talking about mental illness<br> :3

I feel  you on this. thanks for talking about mental illness
 :3

lmao luna (also nice name, favorite character <33)

Also, there's often not a cure, just management...lots of management


Dodie, I know you made this video over two years ago, but I am just finding it now and honestly the timing is perfect. Hearing you talk about depersonalization helped me a lot as I have recently realized after talking with my therapist that I’ve been dealing with the same thing. So thank you for talking about it, it’s definitely a lesser known aspect of mental illness and should be discussed more. I hope you have a wonderful day!


I know this is an old video but oh my god this speaks to me so much more than any video has in the past few months! Thank you lady xxx


Omg I so needed to hear this, exactly how I've been feeling 😣


I know this video is a year old but 4:15-4:20 basically totally encompasses how I get when my depression and anxiety start spiraling out of control. Thank you for making these videos and talking about what's going on with you.


I am so glad you made this. Recently a friend brought up that she was having a hard time describing a weird feeling she would get and didn't have a word for it. I immediately realized she meant "depersonalization" and pulled up this video for her. And it's because of Dodie that not only do I know about it, but also was able to help someone else learn about it. Thank you so much for sharing Dodie

soulfulpizza14 I feel exactly the same with the "weird feeling". Sometimes there's even a few different ones, but I can't make sense out of any of them. Is this how your friend was feeling?


Thank God I'm not the only one who feels this way... much love Dodie


I haven't had a day in my entire life when I haven't felt depersonalized. I didn't fully understand that there was something wrong with me until I saw this video last December, and then I realized that this is what I have been feeling forever. I used to be really scared because I thought I had a brain tumour or something that made me feel so distanced from my life, but now I understand that it's DPD. But it's ok, because now that I know what it is maybe I can get help. And maybe I can lift this perpetual fog that's been floating in my head for my entire life. I just come back to this video occasionally to remind myself that I am real, what I'm feeling is real, and that there are other people out there who are feeling it too. Thank you, dodie. You've honestly changed my life forever.


I know this video is old but I would like to thank you dodie so much. I never knew what mental illness is because no one ever talked about it, and when they rarely did, it seemed like something that people didn't want to touch on. You introduced me to the whole idea. I've realized and researched, as you did, about everyday things that seemed a bit strange to me. I've talked about it before to my parents and people close to me and they've always brushed it away. I never really knew what to do about it. I can relate to things you are saying, I also have Derealization and I'm also depressed. I'd push it to the side as well because I though it was normal, but it became worse. I have a friend now who has exactly what you have and watches you, and we discuss our issues and how to ground ourselves, and it has really helped me and it's because of you. Thank you so much for letting me and my bestfriend understand that yes it sucks, but we will find a way through with this. Thank you so much, you've changed a lot in my life, in the best way.


Omg I had never seen doddie get emotional before and 4:15 made my heart break. 😖💔


I have DPD (depresonalisation disorder), and I'm nearly certain that depersonalisation is what you're experiencing. It's horrible and dreadful, and I am so sorry you have to go through it. For me it usually helps to stay in bed for one day and simply do things I do a lot, like watch YouTube videos or play video games. It gives me a sense of familiarity and lessens my depersonalisation. I don't know if it will help you, but it might, so I figured I should share it anyway. I feel so alone with DPD (which isn't the same as just having depersonalisation, it's a more complex disorder), so hearing that someone else is experiencing a similar thing is relieving. You are not going mad. You aren't mad, okay? You will be okay.


thank you for making this video. I have depression and anxiety (and getting treatment for those) and latley i've been feeling the symotoms of derealisation. I had no clue it was a thing and actually thought that it was normal to feel like your in a dream like state until i started asking friends and they said they never expirenced this. It's scary and I've felt mad but watching this video made me realise I'm not alone. I am going to seek a diagonises. But really, thank you for making this and letting me know that I'm not crazy nor am I alone.

I had the same thing happen but I only realized it because it keeps getting worse and no one has any idea what I'm talking about. I cried tears of joy when I saw Dodie's video on derealization and depersonalization because at that point I felt so crazy that I was on the verge of breaking down and crying in public. I am so happy that it is real and that something can make it stop, going to the psychiatrist about it in a few days like my new therapist recommended. The world needs to be more aware about these disorders even though it affects very few of us because if you don't know what is happening you just feel alone and crazy.


"I just want to get in my old bed in my old room and feel normal again" Aww dodie I just want to hug ya❤❤❤


I just realized you're under #proudtobe talking about mental health!!! I love you Dodie


4:15 I’m glad she left this in. She almost sounded like a child, which related back to what she were talking about, and it just shows the humanity of it, and that it’s normal to wish you are a child again. The world is a lot, and it’s not bad to just want to escape, curl up in a ball, and cry.


I can unfortunately relate to the "not here dream- like drunk" feeling. It's scary and it won't go away and I don't know what to do.


Dodie I feel so sorry for you I know what it feels like to have depression I once did and you are doing the right thing to get over your depression by doing stuff that makes you happy.


It’s relieving to rewatch this after the 25yr bday video knowing this part of your life wasn’t forever


You are so brave for sharing this. Thank you.


i know this video is from 2016 but hi you are the strongest girl dordy.
i sometimes get exact the same thing every now and then but not everyday constantly like you. i can't even imagine what it is like having this issue every single day for that long years.
i had the same thing yesterday for like 5hours but even that it made me panicky so so so badly. you are strong girl.


One of my friends one day sayed she was starting to not see, not like blurry or not seeing in the distance, just not seeing. So her mother took her to the doctors and theymade her talk about it and stuff like making her look to letters of different typos and the doctors sayed she was making all up and that she was perfect. She insisted on her mother saying that she was telling the true and that she didn't actually see and her mother took her to another doctor where they looked at her brain (idk). It turned out she had a tumor in her head that was making her lose vision and it was squashing the gland that makes you grow up and puberty and stuff. She could only see with 40% of one eye and with 70% of the other eye. He spent like 3 months in hospital. If her mom hadn' listened to her she could had ended blind and looking like a 9 year old child for the rest of her life

+Stellas Corner holy shit, I hope you're okay!!!!

I really hope everyone is okay now... Sending lots of love and best positive vibes and well wishes! Xxx

when I had a brain tumor it was in the summer and I had really bad headaches  bad I would cry but my mum was like "just drink more water!" And it got to the point my school had to take me to hospital and it was shit

Doctors saying that kids or young people are "making things up" are just the worst. Proof positive that we live in a culture that devalues young people.

this actually happened to me too. they gave me glasses but i still have the blurriness as a symptom of depersonalization

When I lost my site, my school thought I was cheating on my work because I was asking my friends. My mum believed me though and it turned out that I needed glasses.


I always feel great when I'm depersonalized because I feel like my body is a robot and I'm in complete control and I think logically and objectively without having to worry about emotions. It gets to the point where I don't even try to ground myself before I go into an audition or an exam or test because I know logically I'll do better.

I know some people feel like they're watching their entire life as a movie or something but I feel as if my brain not even my brain my thoughts are the only real thing to me and my body is just a robot that I control. So I can cut myself or scratch myself and even though I feel it I don't really feel it emotionally. You know when you were a kid and you would fall down and scrape your knee and you would cry and cry even though it didn't really hurt that bad it was the emotional after effect that would really hurt you. I don't really feel the after effect I feel the pain and just move on


Everything you said in the beginning just clicked for me. You have no idea how hard I've tried to come up with the right words to explain how I feel but I think you done it justice. Thank you


Sometimes I feel really alone with depersonalisation and derealisation. No one I know can really relate and I feel like It’ll never end. Hopefully, more treatment will be available for me and others with these conditions on the nhs soon. but in the mean time, thank you dodie for making beautiful videos and helping so many people through so so much, including myself 💛


I watched 30 seconds of this video and I knew exactly what you were feeling because I feel like that so much. I could recognize it just through your body language and I feel like that's really weird and maybe I just need to go to bed but I understand how you feel even if it is crazy


I love you dodie. not like in a romantic way or anything obviously but as person to another person.

+FexloGuitar not an excuse simply pointing out the obvious that zero fucks are meant to be given.

@Fkjb69 Doesn't mean you can't be civil. dont use that as an excuse.

+FexloGuitar mm you realize this is the Internet right?

+Hi I'm Andy better yet get an education

+zoe another example is Borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder

+zoe nope. I see where you might be coming from but self diagnosis isn't what your identifying. I'm not gonna give you the proper definition but essentially self diagnosis is where the person them self tries to identify what their symptoms represent. A perfect example is Type 2 Bipolar disorder and Major depressive disorder. Both have the EXACT SAME syptoms but BPD type 2 has people going through depression as the nominal chemical balance. (And yes depression is chemical thing as well as a social thing before anyone starts complaining.) Professionals go to school for a minimum of 8 years in the states, psychologists are specialists in identifying the key differences hence why it's dangerous. There are other reasons why it's dangerous like a sub concess syptom set that people create. Very complicated and very dangerous

hi, not trying to cause a shitstorm here, but the thing about self diagnosis is that you're the only one who knows how you feel. it's good to be able to say to someone- be it a friend or family member or doctor or therapist- "this is how i feel and this is what i think is causing it." especially when talking to a medical professional it's good to give them any ideas you can because that will lead to a professional diagnosis. idk if that made any sense but my point is ur the only one who knows how u feel so to tell someone that they don't know that is a p shitty thing to do.

+Fkjb69 Dodie talked about this in a video

and another thing is make sure MAKE SURE you get diagnosed by a professional. Self diagnosis is very dangerous. Take care though I hope you the best :)


Dodie, I have some of the same symptoms as you and I know this was made a while ago and things might've changed but I got a blood test and found I have lyme disease. It might not be in your case but if you where looking for things to rule out i suggest checking for lyme disease.


I have dealt with a lot of anxiety my whole life and depersonalisation was something I always experienced but didn’t know was an actual thing I thought I was going crazy, I didn’t realise that so many people get it and this video and reading the comments made me feel not so alone and also helped my anxiety because knowing that it’s an actual thing has been preventing me from spiraling. A book I actually recommend reading its called “but first we make the beast beautiful” and it is great for anyone living or going through a period of mental illness <br>Know you are all loved❤

I have dealt with a lot of anxiety my whole life and depersonalisation was something I always experienced but didn’t know was an actual thing I thought I was going crazy, I didn’t realise that so many people get it and this video and reading the comments made me feel not so alone and also helped my anxiety because knowing that it’s an actual thing has been preventing me from spiraling. A book I actually recommend reading its called “but first we make the beast beautiful” and it is great for anyone living or going through a period of mental illness
Know you are all loved❤


Through experience, I've come to believe that many mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, panic attacks, depersonalization, etc... are also symptoms of a set of more societal and cultural interrelationship problems (a general culture of fear & separation, vestiges of primate like male-dominator hierarchies) rather than mere brain chemistry alone.  So it's just as much a part of how the environment & culture affects our upbringing as well as our own internal self, amygdala, brain state, actions & reactions, "the whole thing"! There is no separating out the U from the Universe ;-)

Rather than lament over this, and our collective existential circumstances, perhaps it's more constructive to learn new skills such as CBT, meditation, healthy habits, exercise, hobbies, passions, and spiritual practices to further engage with life and find our own pursuit of happiness.  Finding & pursuing ones' dreams, engaging the conscious attention to shift ones' thoughts, and to seek the inner knowing & wellness that comes from seeing our interconnection with everyone else, nature, and the rest of the universe.  Engaging with life again as if you were a child can provide an opening to fall in love with what it is you're passionate about and get into those positive flow states where everything feels right with the world.


I’ve been experiencing this for over half a year. I get it girl, trust me. I know exactly how you feel. CBD has helped me tremendously. Please please please try it. It will help you.


the moment when you tried not to cry broke my heart♡


As someone who has many mental illnesses I know it's hard but keep frighting and know that your music is helping me fright and keeping alive


It’s crazy I used to watch you and noodlerella and I would have never guessed you have depersonalization too. It’s so hard. Nothing feels real and I feel so foreign around people. I’ve lost my family and a lot of friends who just don’t understand and tell me I’ve changed. Thank you for bringing it into the light. It means sm Dodie 😞💜


beautiful video. i have a lot of friends with a mental ilness, this video really made me understand it more


As I watch dodie in this video i get such a strong sense of familiarity from her. I watch, each minute my heart sinking lower. Then, it's like a light-bulb goes out in my head. That familiarity is me.
.
Dodie I'm sorry you're feeling this way or felt. I'm a bit relieved to see that I'm not alone and there's someone out there that understands me. I just want to say thank you for your videos and all the joy you've brought in to my life. You're strong, and beautiful. You give me sm hope. So thank you. 💕


And on a good note, your dress is so cute!


Thanks to you i can name a thing that I've been feeling for 8 years now. No stopping.


Dodie, you are such a strong, beautiful person and I am so grateful that there are people out there like you. I am a mental health therapist; one who has diagnoses of depression, anxiety, ADHD and bouts of depersonalization and derealization. I work with so many people to help them own their diagnoses and realize that they are not alone and don't need to he ashamed. Thank you for being a face for mental health and I cannot tell you how much it means to those who watch you.


Recently i was at Disney with my friends for a week and i was super derealized the entire time. I think it was triggered by a panic attack i had on the plane but it lasted the whole week and it was so strange. I couldn’t process anything right and everything felt like a dream and when people talked to me it felt like there was a foggy glass window between us so i could hear them and see them but it was hard to like process and respond right. And i kept thinking oh I’ll wake up tomorrow and it will be better I’m probably just tired, but it didn’t until finally like a day after i got home. Anyway yeah i relate a lot to what you are saying in this video ❤


God you described this feeling so eloquently and accurately I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this shit I know how terrifying it is. Just put one foot in front of the other. I’d love to see more videos about your journey with mental illness. This was immensely helpful for me. Thank you so much


I love u Dodie! ! u helped me feel better about myself and keep strong I'm with u 😊😊😊

right! My eyes watered up and I was like "NONONONO"

and when u started to cry I was about to cry


Aww, that about room and bed - I totally understand you. It's the same with me, when I feel out of balance.


So basically I’ve been feeling like this for years, what you’re describing is exactly how I feel. I’m crying watching this!! I constantly feel like I’m not really in the moment and all I want to do is go home and be by myself. My doctor’s described me medicine but I don’t want to take it, I’m too scared to. She’s not diagnosed me with anything even though I described how I was feeling which makes me not want to take medicine until I’m sure what I’ve got


Wow...you're completely me trying to share my darker thoughts, fighting with my own body's natural response to want to cry and pep talking myself to get the words out right


This video honestly really helps me. I feel like I have anxiety and a bit of depression and something else that I couldn't really point out, but now that I have watched this video and done a little more research I am pretty sure that thing is depersonalisation. I feel like it is not a big enough deal to actually go to someone about it and I've talked to one of my friends about it maybe twice but it wasn't very helpful and her and I have kind of separated a bit and I feel like it is my fault because I tried to talk to her about my problems but her problems are way worse than mine. I think I don't necessarily think it is important for me to get help because it seems like most of my friends are way worse off so I feel like I shouldn't be worried about my problems because I should be worrying about my friends' mental health and helping them be okay.  Its very difficult for me to think about myself and try to help myself without feeling selfish.


we love you dodie <3 i haven't watched the whole video yet but i thought i would let you know that first thing

Exactly. I cried so much when she said that because I've heard it so many times.

you're not crazy or insane or strange and you don't sound that way to me

'especially if you've never dealt with mental illness at all, you're probably thinking "dodie, just turn it off like just shut up. just stop talking about it, stop obsessing over it. you're attention seeking, you're making this up and making yourself believe that you're ill' that^made me very very close to crying


I can't even say how much I related to this video. I am so constantly spaced out and just disconnected from everything and honestly it sometimes freaks me out so much I end up having panic attacks leading to breakdowns. Sometimes I feel so weird and everything looks so weird I can't stand opening my eyes because it freaks me out too much. Dodie, I'm glad you know now that you're not going crazy and thank you for making me feel a little less crazy too ♥


I’m 26, and my grandma just passed a month ago. Nothing explains how I feel better than this. I’m not even here, I’m seeing life so differently. 3 years later and I appreciate this video so much Dodie. Positive energy 🌸

@Lily Stultz Oh my gosh, this is so freaking sweet. I'm finding myself again in a strange spot, but figuring it out. I still come back and listen from time to time. More importantly, how are you? What a sweet soul you are to ask how I am. Sending you so much positive energy, would love to offer you a hug.


Here's a hug for everybody sharing their stories or that is feeling depressed/anxiety/depersonalization <b>hug</b>

Here's a hug for everybody sharing their stories or that is feeling depressed/anxiety/depersonalization *hug*


When it comes depression etc medication play a Major roll along with talking therapy can certainly make a big difference  the truth is there is hope !


Lots of love to you Dodie, the texts you were reading out at the start are exactly how I've felt lately. I've been up and down with my emotions, but those texts were worded poetically and how I feel. We're here for you Dodie, we all love you so so much. ❤❤

P.s Hope you feel better soon, you're so important to all of us. 💕


I'm feeling depersonalization right now so I came to watch you talk about it


"Everyone is going to think I'm high"- To someone that suffers from depression  you sound so normal to me you have this thing were  you can put the way i feel into words and it makes perfect sense but then i say it to my friends and they just cannot understand